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the-firebird69 · 1 year

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This is an older model no this is the latest GT by Bradley and it is old they will back in the late seventies and some in the early 80s and that was it and Volkswagen swear no longer around it's a lot of kit cars went out of business. It has a very unique shape and you might recognize it it's our son's design and he based it on his experience and all the way back to Cub scouts when he was winning pinewood derbies and they just qualified him cuz his car was too heavy but it wasn't the line about the weight. It's really a b model race car and they're calling him Ferrari occasionally because he's competing with his father Enzo whose car is very fast this year a lot of it is aerodynamics and this car right here will go extremely fast if you put it in a bigger motor and we're offering one it's still a V6 no it's a V8 and it gets going up over 800 and we have to limit it to under $900 but the motor will do better than that with the performance package but it's not advised on the label and stuff this is performance vehicle and it is a similar design to his Vista fresh companies supercar and mega car and hypercar it's all the same design just a little smaller and a little slower and he has one that's a super secret car and it goes the fastest out of all of us on Earth you can't beat it and this design is very similar and he decided when it was little because he's trying it's just like the Concord jet he combined a missile with the jet and super swept the wings and you guys use it these days for space plates and space jets for ease of escape velocity and reducing drag.... The shape is almost the same there's a few minor changes but it's pretty much very similar and that's on the Bradley GT4 and that's the one that is very similar to this one which is similar to the original and he was going to put the funky glass but it makes it too weak it does have the goldwing doors it has the basic shape meaning it's almost exactly the same but there's no bumper on the front and it looks cool with a cow it's an air intake cowl like you see on a lot of high performance vehicles and the levelorr type stuff there looks like the modern stuff, and the back deck is more appropriate it does have a small trunk believe it or not but the rear of the car is modernized but it does look similar because that's what gives it speed this is a super car folks if you buy this with the Chrysler 300 or better yet the Challenger which is a step up is slightly bigger it is a real supercar both of them are but this with the Challenger motor is a super car and there's a few versions that make it a very fast vehicle almost too fast and yeah there's a limiter on the motor it'll go about 1250 without it and it's due to Dynamics because it's a little heavy. Next sees it it's online finally, he's yelling it's awesome because it looks modern and it looks very cool and beefy and that's the one for the Challenger or the charger and it goes across to the Corvette b style and it's the same size chassis almost exactly and we are we offered with new tires and rims standard it comes with it it won't go fast enough we won't stay on the road without it and the performance package for the suspension you don't have to change the motor at all.. the middle of the kid is pretty beefy and I'll go 2,800 mph and if you put it in the air performance version engines it'll go that fast I mean this thing's stinking honking fast as a kit.

So keep in mind that the paint looks different and it's a modern exquisite paint other than they're cheap nowadays and it's scratch resistant we're not using plexiglass we are using parts from other vehicles and you can get replacement parts it makes it very inexpensive to build the chassis are new the ones that we offer 23 if you buy the chassis but you don't have to and it comes to the motor and transmission and parts come from all different vehicles and you recognize some of them but the interior dash and steering wheel drive mechanism and gear linkage is all Bradley GT but in the interior too of course it comes with the shell or Hull. But there are things that come from other vehicles the going doors are hours but the window glass comes from a Corvette and the front window is a Corvette and the rear window I is from the Ford GT the front lights are from the Ford GT the new one and they're not cheap to replace I know they're not that bad we're buying them cheap the tires and rims most of them are from the new Ford GT specifications you don't have to buy the exact model the exact model we buy are not that much money and they are awesome looking the rear tail lights are from the Corvette and the new stingray and it looks a little like it because of it the exhaust system is from the original vehicle mostly we have you switch out the neon and the coupe neon and the stratus we keep the Challenger and charger exhaust but there's a performance package but for the smaller vehicles those are usually from Porsche aftermarket company. Yeah these things sound like Porsches. Standard is available and it's recommended you get more speed and power and you can adjust according to what you think you should be doing not what the transmission thinks it's an intense vehicle.

He wanted to look to be very similar to this now I see why it's extremely fast and yes it's based on a b-model but it's really based on his cub scout pinewood derby car and we know who's making him lose it was Tommy f so we're going to sue him and he was the troop 382 leader he will ask bja if he'll testify we should have won that fight with Derby and pinewood derby you should have won it and psychological damage and more we're going to sue for in the award too. It didn't go to anybody he knew it's incorrect it went to his clone so that's another thing.

Thor Freya

Thank you and my husband thanks you. He says he's an emotional wreck right now because of Tommy f it's a trauma when he was young and he could have been a wealthy person because of this car

Hera

Further note that Tommy F was the one who took the idea from the original Bradley GT maker who took it from our son it was kind of given to him, what was the understanding you have some interest in it later and one of the vehicles and it never happened and he tried to get it to him and it wasn't Haddad it was one of the persons who you staying out with a little bit and that's right it was Trump and Trump just kept right on screwing him. And Trump sees that it's him found out who he was and went to town on him and figured out his huge but really this is a very nice vehicle it's really got a nice interior it's Spartan but a lot of people haven't done up in leather on everything and wooden lay and I'll tell you what you're starting out with a Dodge charger which is really the fastest for like I think it's $5,000 with a decent kit that has a performance kit in it and, all the mechanicals are taken care of and the interior is is done and if you want to upgrade you just replace seats in front of the dash and things like that it's not much money or something like our son you can spend $1,000 and it'll look like a million dollar sports car. This is going to sell and the entry door with the going still has some reinforcement and he insisted on it this time again and you can turn it into a fly car and go $25,000 mph because it's the metal and it's a kick car and it's on a chassis that has these are real frames okay on these Dodge cars and Chevy cars cuz they're sedans they take a lot of use and abuse I'm going to go get my own they're coming up online now coming up slowly place by place

Thor Freya

The Bradley GT SUV super sport and sport have this Bradley GT look and they're lower to the ground than the Porsche even the new one and they do have a lot of air dynamic qualities that we tested it to we just don't tell people and it goes very fast for an SUV the sport which is a smaller one on the neon it goes like 390 mph with just the smaller V6 and the super sport goes about 450 with the smaller V6 it's really a nice vehicle I mean this isn't worth a fortune and we're going to sell this kid cars and people think they're junk you look at the interior and just looks like a basic Camaro that has cloth instead of leather it looks pretty cool still but it's still just cloth and there's no doodads at all there's no map systems there's no cool radio it has a stereo it's okay sounds like this firebird it's real loud. But if you fix it up on the interior you don't have to fix it if you just upgrade it's it looks like a million dollar car and that thing looks like a super car no matter what you say.

Hera

Mac Daddy is still laughing he'll say what are you doing and you say I don't know this is crazy I have to do it. And Tommy F was the one holding bjA to the tree I found out and it's going around that this is what he was doing. A lot of people want to get him something for this car and they want to get the car and they want to see him in one and it says it's probably got the bigger SUV if Tommy F doesn't fall for the Chevy Blazer and that's why I'm talking he said the last sentence I'm saying that's a good idea it'll be a white Chevy Blazer and a whole bunch of people started laughing and then they see the idiot start to look at it and I said it's a wonder something boy is he an a******. I like this car I like the SUV idea and I like the sport SUV and the small spider size Bradley GT which is where it started he says it looks like it I'm enthused this is going to be intense he made this car with his little and so damn fast it's not even funny when we got those things we were zooming around to them it Volkswagen engines and we soup up the Volkswagen engine they work pretty good they didn't like blow out as much as people said and we had them out there okay I mean this the first version would go about 180 which is real fast back then it's like a Corvette we said the second version will go like 220 or 230 and you can get it going faster with we put a big V8 in we had one at 280 and it's really as fast as cars were going and people started doing it and the government stepped in and shut it down and it was really Tommy yeah. But I'll tell you what this guy knows what he's doing with cars that's an amazing car and you know he's got a few components is completely unique the front end although it looks like one of the mustang years is laughing and she's not laughing because this is faster all the time so they're kind of like fighting. And they're having fun now so I can't wait to just come out I'm looking on the web and I can't find it I'm asking people I haven't heard about it said you can get it in one piece it won't let us drops onto the chassis and you just make connections and it's practically done that's what they say they say it doesn't take long it's experience mechanic can put it together in 2 hours and a race car mechanic who does a Nascar and things like that and stock car in 1 hour or less maybe 45 minutes a decent mechanic in 3 hours and run to the mill mechanic before and everybody can afford a mechanic to do that if you do it in one piece you can hype up the motor I'm going to get an old Challenger and charger not necessarily old the new ones are expensive and that's all they're making and it's boring and they changed it looks funny this is ridiculous it's so cool it's my nephew and it's awesome he needs money is poor and he's having trouble but we're working on it

Garth

I don't believe it I see it online and I don't believe it it looks different cuz it looks modern and it's hard to tell what it is at first cuz it looks so cool and you look at it and you say that's a Bradley GT my friend here just took some name thinks he got it from Bradley's and someone said he's going to get beat up by the Bradley and it was Brad but we think it was Tommy f cuz he wants to take the kit cars and you put it back there so we're watching out for that and we know what it means and we are going to help our friend out of course but wow it is right where you would not expect it and he told people to put it. It's got the specs and the stats and tell us what it does and tells you why it goes faster I'll be damned but this is awesome awesome vehicle this is great I'm going to have a lot of fun

Mac

Oh no it's right where you said it was this is ridiculous and it is an amazing vehicle and Tommy F things her son will lose because of it I wonder how they can get in an accident or something driving one so people are wondering how he's going to make one you can't afford to do it you used the garage access to a garage and all sorts of stuff you'd have to have a house and a vehicle and some money and that's what they're saying he doesn't have much money you can't afford a supercar so this is how it's going we think that he's just going to evolve this into his mega car cuz we don't know about just to pressure what the hell that is and it's another Trump thing and Trump's wildly looking for it he's going mad trying to find it it says it's his and he's just a lousy thief and the first one look kind of hokey and the second one Tommy F helped with and looks much better so they're fighting each other over it and Trump will be out probably because of this no but other stuff and it's going on like that right now but wow this is cool this car is very fast very fast I see the stats I can't believe it boy this is real this is something so I might call up and have someone look and see if there's actually something there the second address and I'm going to try and have that done now actually I sent something to do it and I don't want to tell people I'm trying to buy some

Mac

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sugardoodle · 2 years

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Sometimes, you just have to draw wings on your blorbo. Sorry I don't make the rules

#hunter toh #toh #toh fanart #hunter the owl house #hunter whittebane #hunter deamonne #is that how you spell it? idk #the owl house #my art #not enough funky wing versions of these guys #ironic for a show named after a bird and containing a harpy main character #btw. the detail im MOST proud of is his ear #the shapes #the shading #the earrings #im proud of it 😌#and someday ill learn to do real weird perspectives in my art... mark my words

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rosfrandomness · 2 years

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I've had waayyyy too much fun with this! inspired by the trafficsona trend by @chrisrin

so, here's rowynnro! he's just a funky lil guy! I have ideas for if I were to put her in the other life series and stuff, but I just finished the 3rd Life version today!

gonna talk a bit more about the designs above, as well as each way they died! (all of their hair in the headshots is brushed to the side by the way, because it's normally in the way of their eyes)

So, for her green life I think she'd just hang out for the most part! If we go with "create a character who's part of a new cast that uses a similar seed as the series" then I think he'd be around to watch and help with villager shenanigans, or work on starting a crop field for some early game resources, and temporarily hunker down kinda close to spawn

Her green design is very round, huggable, soft. friendly enough for someone in a world of immanent death!

They would first die while looking for diamonds in the swamp! we all know how the diamond clay trick was in mid 2021, and they would try to utilize that. But, I think they would strike some bad luck and fall into a cave with mobs, get hit a couple times, then swim up the water stream. Only to then drown because he didn't swim fast enough to reach the top, marking one of the earlier deaths in the server.

This is why she looks like a sopping cat on yellow! their wings got weighed down, their hair lays flatter, and even their ears are droopy. She's just not having a great time. His white shirt is a darker colour because of drowning as well, refusing to dry out no matter what.

I think he'd stay yellow for a fair bit, lay low and gather things to help him survive. I think he'd later take damage from another player, maybe one of the reds, or a mob - and then fall down into a ravine or off a hillside to his death.

She would hit her head on the way down, thus the blood running down her face. Her cardigan gets in the way, so she ties it around her waist, still sopping and heavy. He never seems bothered by the blood in his eyes, wiping it off with his arm if it gets too much and letting it dry as a stain on his skin. They're sharper in appearance, and in their actions.

As a red, I think they would devote themselves to being a menace. They would go full throttle into trying to team up with people for brief moments under the reason of "hey wouldn't it be so fun if we wiped out some of the greens and yellows? what if we set up a trap and blew up someone's front lawn?" with the voice of someone wanting to play tag.

They would finally die to something stupid, probably their own trap gone wrong or accidentally setting off while they were still in there, and as a ghost she'd laugh it off.

#okay tagging time #trafficsona #trafficblr #rodoesartz #blood #id in alt text #roscharacters

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cuddlecave · 3 years

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OKAY. SO. another dumb cross-over au in which benb takes the role of an entirely different cosmic horror. in this case, a massive subterranean superorganism that a certain research facility found buried in the new mexico desert while they were expanding the underground parts of the facility. here’s some chunks of the discord chat from last night where we had fun brainstorming about this:

S: Consider Benr flesh pit Like thingrey on steroids R: Lol! That's a really fun idea. Like one day Benr wakes up and, ugh what's this thing in his throat? A research facility? The hell? Cuddle: don't you just hate it when you take a long nap and wake up and some micro organisms have turned your innards into a resort. eugh, they're even getting randy in there, grosssss. he feels so violated. R: I mean fair XD Cuddle: "you've been doing what with my bodily fluids??" S: LOL R: In a hlvrai AU, would it be a resort like in the original unfiction? Or Black Mesa? Or both? Cuddle: black mesa, upon expanding the underground parts of the facility, come upon... very clearly living tissue. huh. he's no where NEAR as massive as the MFP, but still big enough that the scientists just can't help but find a way to poke around in there... R: Ah, they found him while trying to dig to the center of the earth. S: Tommy would be ecstatic. Cuddle: theoretically he's 'small' enough for them to dig out, but they're hesitant to, due to the way he's got all his self positioned, any activity from him could cause a lot of damage to the facility. somehow they'd managed to completely avoid running into parts of this giant fleshbeast's body when digging down until now. so yeah, no wakey the underground horror. and since they can't take it out, obviously the logical thing to do here is go in. R: I can't believe Black Mesa is supposed to be the sensible science facility. This sounds like a Cave Johnson move Cuddle: well they're the "sensible" ones in the regular half-life and portal 'verse. not so much in the vrai verse, as we've seen. the pita cutting room. skull grinding facility. vats of radioactive sludge that's allegedly OSHA approved. R: Okay, you're completely right. R: Oh, so do they move the biological research wing down into the Benr section? That would put Tommy in a good place to make contact/be contacted? Maybe Benr starts to wake up and feels something kind of funky. He can't move around or he'll mess up his sweet lil' napping place, so he reaches out with his mind to try to figure out what's what. While he's poking around he accidentally brushes against someone else's mind. Tommy is pretty startled at first, but being the kind of guy he is, he just sort of rolls with it. That's how Benr finds out about BM, and also how he makes his first human adjacent friend. Shit! Well now he really can't move or he'll collapse the facility on Tommy! It's like a high stakes version of having a cat on your lap. Can't move, it's the law. W: I was considering Gordon being one of the people they send into the organic area to explore. Benrey feels something moving about and oh shit! Thats a little dude! Gordon's all kinds of wigged out by entering a living creature, but there's pressure from the higher ups to check it out. Benrey trying to find ways to talk to Gordon tho. Spooks him something good. Cuddle: OH I LIKE THAT. W: Idea! Benrey tries to examine Gordon and the human panics thinking he's been trapped by automatic functions. Slips into a weird pouch with more sensitive surface tissue and Benrey just studies him right back . Benrey doesn't have any Amorphous Shame or anything going on, but perhaps he has these strange things he refers to as Josh and Jefferem. Cuddle: pfffff or wait WAIT some kind of chitinous endoparasites like the abyssal copepods... but they look weirdly humanoid and also skeletal at a glance. flesh pit ben's version of his skeleton friends. W: Gordon finds one in a resting state and panics bc he thinks its a dead guy. Cuddle: but then it moves and "oh fuck that's a weird fucking bug-thing" W: Would they be independent entities or would they have some sort of mind link w Benrey. Im picturing it like. Benrey observes as Gordon travels through him, then gets an idea and signals the creatures to guide Gordon somewhere. Scares the hell out of the human, they end up kind of having to chase and corral him the way he needs to go. Cuddle: oh man, i like that less parasites, more symbiotes! Cuddle: i figure benrey being MUCH smaller [than the OG pit], he takes notices of these tiny critters [the researchers] much more easily (and also he's not straight-up asleep like the og pit). just chillin'! well maybe he was asleep at first, but then woke up when black mesa started poking around. he just didn't immediately start moving. W: Benrey gets tired of BMesa BS and either warms Gordon and friends to leave, or he calls them to come deeper into his body so he can shelter them. And then he moves. Burrows his way out, or uses reality breaking to leave. Either way, there's now kind of a massive chasm where he used to be! That entire facility on top of him is in pretty bad shape, no stability left. Cuddle: another thing to think about with this flesh pit benrey: colours [image: a notice sign from the MFP blog that reads "PROLONGED SKIN CONTACT WITH NERVOUS TISSUE MAY RESULT IN AN INCREASED COLOR PERCEPTION RANGE. THIS EFFECT IS TEMPORARY AND OFTEN DISSIPATES IN 8 TO 10 HOURS."] W: The amniotic fluid is replaced with SweetVoice. Cuddle: NICE. doesn't make you horny, but gives you VERY strong emotions. sometimes ones that aren't even yours! (they're his) pink sweet voice is the kind they harness to put into that valentine soda :P R: Well Darnold would know all about that. Holy crap there is actually a legit reason for a mixology department. Cuddle: YES in which darnold also knows how to read the sweet voice, cause he works with it so much! W: Consider Gordon losing his fear of the pit as Benrey communicates with him BM scientists can't perceive Benreys communication methods, they think Gordon is hallucinating. When they work out that Benrey is sapient, they think Gordon has been brainwashed or controlled. After all, who would willingly reenter that place. Cuddle: also thinking about how benrey could have a 'human' form.... maybe he can like, mesh some of himself with one of his skelebug guys, and shape it into a human (on the outside at least) form. can interact with the humans through this small piece of him, while the rest of him is still underground. W: Adding on to this idea. Gordon running for his life, unwittingly headed the way Benrey intended, and then he slips and falls into a pouch full of liquid. He's terrified that it's acid and enzymes, but then the liquid turns a deep blue, and he just goes boneless. Now that he's directly in a pouch that produces SweetVoice, Benrey can work on communicating with him. (It was suggested that Benrey had already managed to speak to Tommy, mind to mind. Maybe Tommy is far more sensitive to such things than Gordon, and thus Gordon needs a little work to establish communication) W: nother follow-up thought. Benrey's escape was not the most subtle thing. Anyone who witnesses it is terrified it means the world is ending. Then he just vanishes. BM is losing their shit, how do you lose an eldritch superorganism. Lucky for them he's not bent on armageddon, he just wants to vibe with his new friends.

#BM fleshpit

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sole-cuore-amore-e-droga · 3 years

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Croatia brings no men in a hamster wheel to Rotterdam 2021

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Now could this be the teddy bear uprising invasion Muse has warned us about 12 years ago?

And LITERALLY, these review series make me feel like Croatia is openly taunting me - I watch the days go, I’m losing track of time, and when another day comes, I’m screaming “oh no I forgot to publish a review sooner than wanted!!”. Guess I’m for one glad there’s a time related song this year, hum?

ARTIST & ENTRY INFO

Repping the Adriatic coast nation that got all the sea instead of Bosnia & Herzegovina is some 22 year old Albina Grčić, who first popped up on X Factor Adria back when that was a thing, and got lumped into a girlgroup in later stages, but to that she said “hvala ne” and moved on with her life, getting eliminated just like that. Queen <3 She did get her second chance to compete as a soloist and make a more prominent mark on her career when she ended up on The Voice in Croatia. She did well, placing third overall in the season, but somehow, during the duel stage, her coach initially favoured her fellow Dora 2021 contestant Filip Rudan:

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Her Voice success landed her a record deal with the Croatian division of Universal Music, she released a debut single, sometime later ended up on Dora, and here she is now, on Eurovision.

“Tick-Tock” is the song, a standard upbeat pop song, and one of the ones that talks about a girl leaving a terrible relationship and being so well over it that she “found [her]self and [she’s] finally free”, and the “tick-tock” here is used to represent the time passing by, not the sound of her heart, unlike a fellow ESC entry of a similar title. The tune (or its lyrics only) is co-authored by some dude you might’ve heard of from France’s 2018 preselection Destination Eurovision, and that is Max Cinnamon - some half-English guy with a half English song about love (”Ailleurs”) that did moderately averagely in the final... I don’t even know if his influence shows, I just love how 2021 has sort of become revenge of the NF flops but they’re writing other entries instead (Suzi P, “Adrenalina”).

REVIEW

I often don’t really fully vibe with female bops in Eurovision as much as I want to, like, for the most part they’re overhyped, and I let the “yass queeeeen” audience gorge on the everything their favourite bops give them. But this year there are plenty of great ones to choose from, as I think that it’s safe to say that most, if not all, are tucked in somewhere inside my top 20, top 25 at the very minimum. Croatia managed to even do the impossible and land into my top 10.

Why?

Well, the answer is that the song is just so damn good.

I mean, what’s NOT to like about it? It’s a catchy and upbeat song that incorporates xylophones (or whatever is it that sounds like them), guitars and synths; has a good bassline in the chorus; and it’s just... a very good composition overall, like, all the instruments in it are just in their right place and uplift the song massively. I also like Albina’s performance on it, both live and studio, it clearly shows that she’s a very good singer (also shown on her cover of the scandalous Oscar award snubbery “Husavik”). Sounds like a song a common pop loving Eurofan could gear themselves towards. Besides, it also has possibly my favourite pre-chorus section of the 2021 year? Oh wait, there’s also Switzerland, scratch that. “Tick-Tock” has one of my favourite pre-chorus sections of 2021. It builds up so well instrumentally and the way Albina sings it is even better. I obviously like to believe Albina heard those voices from far away that helped her to escape, has found herself, and she’s finally free from her “partner’s” bad lovin’ and restraint. Yas queen go be free you didn’t deserve his tomfoolery anyway! 👏 (Also I admire a section that’s not quite the pre-chorus but is still before the 1st chorus, the one that goes “If you pull me down then I'll come around” - literally just a lot of the parts of the song are full of nice vocal performance and I don’t regret ranking this in my top 10 not a second.)

If it has any drawbacks, it’s just that it gets a tad too repetitive after the halfway mark... like, the pre-chorus before the second chorus is the one to be repeated once again, and no new verse, nothing - but it does launch itself into something extraordinary, and that is a chorus in Croatian, which I assume she would perform in Eurovision because there’s no Eurovision version on the song promo bundle, I suppose. Comparatively the Croatian chorus is not as complex in lyrics as the English language one, and flows slightly differently too. But the song still has a long chorus by the end, and song with too many choruses is never a good sign for those that look for a song that’s constructed well, but I guess it’s a good factor for those that value the song’s catchiness. I guess that’s what one of the two Eurovision 2005 hosts valued the most when writing the Ukrainian 2006 entry “Show Me Your Love”, which if you ask me, is straight up 75% chorus, lol.

So yeah my verdict is that almost everything about this song, I like. I’m just a little devastated that in a usually very easily gorged on category of female bops, this just tends to lag behind in love, like a fellow song I really like this year, Israel. Instead people tend to prioritize Cyprus (which I get because they’ve established themselves as a girlbanger nation since Fuego swept Eurovision) and... probably even Azerbaijan? (which I might also get because Eurovision rarely has this thing called an ethnobop anymore, and it has more ethno than “Cleopatra” did, but still unnecessarily underwhelming lol.) Well then, in a year of female bangers, I would just like Croatia to not be swept under the rug come semis I guess. Yeah “Tick-Tock” may not sound like it brings something totally never seen before in a Eurovision environment (foreign language lyrics, themes about a break up, hell even her dancers looked like they were wearing the same hats as Tamta’s dancers), but you got to have a lot in you to sell a worn out idea to the new heights, and Albina does exactly that in my eyes.

Approval factor: Yeah! There is a lot of it in here for me. Follow-up factor: A great follow-up, not so great in regards to panini but musically it’s just going up and up from what we had in the past few years. I’ve actually not minded “The Dream” for the most part but I knew it was a chanceless plodding ballad and Roko harboured heaps of wasted potential working with Jacques Houdek and having wings as part of his performance, uff. *_* And then there’s “Divlji vjetre” which I also like a lot - a much better male ballad winner choice! If the Dora re-up winners keep being decent imo just like this, I have a feeling I will follow it a lot more often than I did just this one time this year. I am just saying that panini-wise, it was a sucky move from HRT for not allowing their last year’s winner promote his new song with Tijana (from Serbia 2017) on the Dora night, so we sadly only heard a pre-recorded opening version of “Divlji vjetre” to start off with :( Otherwise I think it’s not Dora’s fault in itself that Damir himself chose not to even submit an entry this year because he hadn’t found a good one - much like with Diodato for Sanremo (he was NOT rejected, if you think he still was, shush). But aside that, musically, it just keeps going up for me. Well done Croatia, for you’ve used to be a Eurovision country I don’t necessarily care about, that you brought two pretty damn good entries in a row. Qualification factor: I can absolutely trust in Albina bringing in a little bit of her charisma and well-likedness, and on top of that, a great vocal performance, in Rotterdam. Don’t ask me why, I just do. She doesn’t really perform her song live on pre-parties as much as I’d like to hope she would, but you heard girlie on the national selection, she didn’t win for nothing. Yeah yeah there might as well be female uptempo songs hungrier for the last spot, but I’d like to think Albina is one of the ones ready to devour than to be devoured. Go girl! Take us all dancing!

NF CORNER

To be honest with you, “Tick-Tock” winning Dora caught me by surprise. Ever since its re-up, the last two editions were kind of won by male ballads, and maaaaybe the dancey females were doing moderately well enough for themselves, but not overall? But look, juries were very keen on Albina, probably because she can SANG and she creates one hell of a fancy presence on her performance. And somehow she ended up snatching a win out of the hands of 5G conspiracy theorist 2016 representative Nina Kraljić, who was at first too drunk to care, but too unexpectedly sober to yell all over the soc. media how she was robbed and how the contest was rigged against her with her being on first and all that. Which is a shame that she is one of THOSE people, because her NF entry “Rijeka” is kinda nice? We did have the Balkan-esque ballads coming from Croatia in recent memory, but we haven’t had a truly proudly folksy one at that from Croatia for a long while, if not ever. Nina could’ve very well brought that to Rotterdam (and another mismatched wardrobe choice oops). But instead she was the one screaming “oh no, oh no, oh no”.

Actually I regarded Nina as one of my faves pre-show, and Albina was on her way, though she didn’t really cement the personal fav status until after all performances, thus making Nina and Albina switch spots for me. But truly, the one song that was my top favourite, iiiiiiiiiiis

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GIMME AN OCEAN! OF LOVE!

2021 made me realize that damn, maybe anything that’s funky is my favourite music genre afterall. Up until then I vibed with entries like “Tonight Again” and “What’s the Pressure?” that had this sort of energetic flair and very rhythmic kinda sound to it, but 2021 just simply cemented it to me that my music world has probably been about nice and smooth and funky all along. I owe so much gratitude to ToMa first and foremost along the lines of more to have come in this year’s lineups - I just can’t not want to dance to “Ocean of Love”, and ToMa is quite alright at selling it live as well. There are small gripes with some instrument usages but that doesn’t detract from the fact that I love love LOVE funky guitar tunes.

Aside from that, I can give shout outs to Beta Sudar, whose song not only was underrated, but also had an underrated meme format throughout its performance:

My other props go to Bernarda, who not only competed in a national selection singing a song about seeing “Colors” while blind (and ironically there was a song called “Blind” in that same NF sung by a well-seeing guy!!), but also for finally putting this every country’s reject to rest. Seriously. That particular song was passed on to everyone in need of a competitive Eurovision bop, from Poli Genova to Helena Paparizou as of recently. Oh well, at least the song died a honourable death - well performed slice of good typical Eurovision pop (maybe even overperformed a little towards the end), that got a good rank with the regional juries, but somewhat murdered in televote, fellow Boris Milanov composition “Chameleon” style.

This one Mia Negovetić chick was promising too! Her song was written by the Debs and you might be tired of them trying to continue infiltrating Eurovision at this point, but a lot of their Eurovision songs are usually something I enjoy, “She’s Like a Dream” is no exception. Nothing but 3 minutes of pastel-dressed Croatian Ariana Grande doing what she does best <3

Oh and also some dudes tried to play chess on stage too I guess. But their song is not worth looking into, because one of the acts on it is apparently also a conspiracist, and maybe because oft this their entry is aptly titled “Sing, for the freedom has arrived!” lol I wonder what exactly is the kind of freedom you’re thinking of my guy

Was this the “better mood game” Laura was warning everyone about? Beats me

NF CORNER (NON-COMPETITIVE)

• It’s still hilarious to me as to how one of the acts this year, Brigita Vuco, was planning to bring in backing dancers, only for them to show a fake COVID test or something and outright BARRED from coming with her on stage. <3 Whatever she intended to do with them dancers, I have absolutely no idea, but at least she committed to her song being about drunken nights visually by having all these blurry shots

• Nina Kraljić’s greenroom shenanigans, from the “1-2-3, 1-2-3, drink” to numb the sadness over some results (and the 8 she got from the region Rijeka for the song “Rijeka” lmao), to whatever she saw on the phone that made her smile or go neutral

• Greenroom reactions in general. I swear, this year had cameramen in every single corner everywhere just to make sure something covers up for a human audience instead of severals of Zoom screens permitted to act as an audience. Random people in greenrooms were doing some sort of emotions after random acts, and also randomly they ended up pointing a camera towards an act that lost, but the act didn’t treat losing as if it were such a big deal <3

• All the other memes the Croatian Twitter might’ve noticed me for:

seriously Bernarda was locked in a bluelight mathematical dice contraption. how fucking cool is that

ANY LAST WORDS?

I just fucking hope that Albina shatters any doubts that people have had about her song come rehearsals, and somehow Croatia AND Israel slip through, because never too many female bangers I appreciate in the final, if they all are the bangers I appreciate, lol.

#eurovision #eurovision 2021 #rotterdam 2021 reviews #croatia #Albina Grčić #albina #tick-tock

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whatudottu · 4 years

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Okay, final part now. Links didn't work when I edited on phone for some reason so I'll just quickly finish this off on my computer.

The Autobots

The Decepticons Part 1

The Decepticons Part 2 (you are here)

Right after Dreadwing from the last post is Airachnid. A lot of people don’t like her, some don’t like her because she’s a victim of bad writing. Now, I hope that this shattered version is enough to get you not to hate her, because despite what she did and represents, I don’t have any bad blood for her.

Checking out the tfwiki (before I realised fanwiki’s didn’t have vehicles listed for alts) I believe in search for backstory, I found that canon Airachnid transformed into a stylised RAH-66 Comanche instead of Fowler’s actual vehicle and I thought; ‘no wait, this is great’. I’ve already gone into some detail about how this Shattered Glass Airachnid works, a pessimistic mentally scarred arachnicon with PTSD and Survivor’s Guilt, but with this new alt it wraps her story up in a neat little bow.

Her new alt, based on the scan she should have taken, is based on a Bell 212 helicopter, and though I have initially used a cameo pattern to reference a daddy longlegs spider, this specific model is also used as a rescue vehicle. Why does that work? MEDIC TEAM, BABY! She probably has some lime green optics? Like more yellow than green but still with green.

And after all these characters, all the way in the third post, we finally get to our doctor duo. Our CMO Knock Out and his assistant Breakdown. Seeing as I mentioned Breakdown a little bit just before (though really vaguely so I mean...) I’ll talk about what’s going on with him.

I want to make this mech afraid of the quiet. Not to say he has paranoia like his canon version, but when there isn’t any noise he begins to think, and though not much of a thinker in a literal sense, Breakdown does not like to think about all the ways things can go wrong. So to compensate, he is also a loud mech, talkative and explicitly sociable. You think canon Breakdown’s chummy with the Vehicons? Check this guy out! Teaming up with Skyquake, he helps bring up the mood of the remaining Decepticon forces. Heck, just his presence encourages mechs to ACTUALLY get check ups instead of trying to soldier on. Best boy is also best nurse.

Not that this was an intentional comparison, but like Airachnid, Breaky’s got an alt to match his personality. The nerd boys came back to me with a Roshel Senator APC, and I mean, if you ignore the who Senator part, I’m sure you see the ‘Armoured Protected Carrier’ in the title. So yes, it’s perfect for this big tiddy nurse husbando (oh god that was horrid). Maybe also his optic colour is purple.

Getting to Knock Out now, he may not seem like he’s related to the original at all from initial appearance and characterisation. Instead of running his mouth like the suave flirt that canon Doc Knock is, SG!Doctor KO is rather silent, and far more in the brooding sense.

Decorated in scars; the ones I’ve settled on in a chassis gouge, a soldering scar on the faceplate, a scrape on his door and a mark on the back reminiscent of missing wing struts (oh yes I’m going down this route), Knock Out celebrates his appearance unlike other shattered alternates by caring about his appearance in a more... battletorn way. He has a name and face for every scar (but I don’t aside from definitely Ratchet and a debated between Wheeljack and Breakdown for some funky angst) and the only real time he speaks more than a few words is when he retells the tales of how he got his injuries... but he’s a little morbid to sorta reference his canon sadism so no little kids are allowed to listen in.

Despite still being an automobile enthusiast, he’s has too many looks when ‘disguised’ as an Aston Martin, so to compensate, he’s now a 1999 Honda Civic. Also, that’s what I mean by chassis gouge, just visualise the other scars haha.

imagine being such a dunce you delete what you wrote for knock out just as you were about to copy and paste it in haha

Because I don’t have an image for the Vehicons, I’m focusing on the Insecticons here instead. I’ve mentioned it once before but Airachnid isn’t the queen of the Insecticons, which happens because idk funky processor stuff I have the big fear of external content.

So, I needed to look for a horned beetle, and a beetle I found in the Hercules Beetle. Though still containing some of that Insecticon brown, I think the white-ish... elytron? The wing covers I guess.

Before I move onto Vehicons (‘Vehicon lives matter!’ You cry) I’ll talk a bit about the Predacons. Predaking, if given love and affection, is total baby. Predaking, if given the command to defend against the Autobots, would defend with dentae and claws.

With a mix? You get Merry Madness. Yes I am using Dead Sound to reference these ancient boys. Yes I am using this as an excuse to share my love of Dead Sound animations. So as a neat little twist, to show that Predacons are both the spark of hope and dangerous beasts, I wanna keep the browns and yellows and mix it with the purple. Hey! I think it’s a cool idea!

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Vehicon time! There’s a little less colour variety in the Decepticons than the Autobots, but the Vehicons have turned themselves into a rainbow of a force. Sure, they might have originally been one colour scheme (red and black for general forces, white and gold for specialists) but now they have a myriad of different choices.

Some are one colour, some have two, others three. Some focus on patterns, others on flats and quite a few on lustre. Though they don’t have an unlimited amount of paint, the dwindling forces has allowed Vehicons to become whoever they want and Megatron can’t recommend it enough.

In contrast, Makeshift did his best to be the least stand-offish colour in the group. Before his untimely demise on his infiltration mission, the brief moments he was in his base form, he was adorned with the goldish finish of the Autotroopers.

May his spark rest in peace.

may my hands rest in peace jeez!

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nerianasims · 4 years

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Billboard #1s 1975

Under the cut.

Elton John – “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” -- January 4, 1975

He slowed it down. Of course he did. And he's singing it like every word must be perfectly enunciated so that you can understand how incredibly deep it is. Awful, terrible, ugh. William Shatner's version is actually preferable.

Barry Manilow – “Mandy” -- January 18, 1975

Barry Manilow got a lot of hate when I was a kid in the 80s, and I didn't understand from any first-hand experience because the only song I knew of his was "Copacabana." Now, listening -- he's not bad. Yeah, he's 70s light rock. But he sings with emotion that doesn't sound fake and this song has a beat. I'm not saying I like this song, in which the singer regrets sending away the woman he loves, but it's fine. I find it far more tolerable than any Elton John song on this list.

The Carpenters – “Please Mr. Postman” -- January 25, 1975

The Carpenters' asset was Karen Carpenter's amazing singing. This song does not showcase it. They'd have done better to cover "Will You Love Me Tomorrow" or "One Fine Day." Also the way they redid the music makes it sound more like a light 50s pop song than early Motown. Blech.

Neil Sedaka – “Laughter In The Rain” -- February 1, 1975

This song is about taking walks in the rain with his wife/girlfriend. There's something fake about his singing, and also he doesn't hit the high notes (which aren't that high) right. I'd actually like to hear what Barry Manilow would do with this. It's not terrible, but meh.

Ohio Players – “Fire” -- February 8, 1975

Putting sirens in a pop song is kinda dickish, because you're gonna get people driving in their cars to try to suddenly swerve off the road. Anyway, besides that, this is an Ohio Players song, so it's funk. I don't really know what else to say about it. Maybe it could have been a little faster? I'm a bit bored, and that should never happen with funk.

Linda Ronstadt – “You’re No Good” -- February 15, 1975

There are sure a lot of covers this year. Boomer nostalgia. But Linda Ronstadt put a hell of a lot of effort into this one, unlike the people who did the previous two covers. The song's also a really good one, with an interesting lyrical twist; not only is the singer telling the man who broke her heart that he's no good, but "I broke a heart that’s gentle and true/ Well, I broke a heart over someone like you.” That's some vinegar in the wound. And musically, it's really good rock -- not an ounce of schmaltz anywhere. Excellent song, and I went back to listen to it on repeat when I was done writing for the night.

Average White Band – “Pick Up The Pieces” -- February 22, 1975

It's a funk instrumental. I think this has been on a lot of soundtracks. I find it repetitive and kinda boring.

Eagles – “Best Of My Love” -- March 1, 1975

They're still in love but their marriage is falling apart. The divorce rate in the 70s was very high. People often claim those 70s statistics are the same today, but they very much are not. Anyway, it's not too whiny and he doesn't blame her, but the song is too slow and too light. You could replace the words with a straightforward love song without changing the music, so long as the love song was boring. Yawn.

Olivia Newton-John – “Have You Never Been Mellow” -- March 8, 1975

Wow, shut up Olivia. I can identify with being sick of someone who is wound up like an E string and wanting to tell them to just chill. Hell, I'm that tightly-wound person pretty often, and I do much better when I remember to be mellow when I can. But this song is condescending and superior. "Have you never tried to find a comfort from inside you?" Toxic positivity.

The Doobie Brothers – “Black Water” -- March 15, 1975

I saw the song title and the chorus immediately started up in my brain. This is a song about the Mississippi by people who may never have been east of Las Vegas. "I ain't got no worries/ Cuz I ain't in a hurry at all." Pfft right. But the music of this song is so catchy and fun, that even though I'm not fond of the lyrics, I like the song.

Frankie Valli – “My Eyes Adored You” -- March 22, 1975

This guy used to lead The Four Seasons, but thankfully he doesn't do that horrible falsetto in this one. Ostensibly this song is about how he's thinking about his first crush. I think that's a metaphor, though. I think it's a song worshiping nostalgia and missing childhood. Yuck.

LaBelle – “Lady Marmalade” -- March 29, 1975

Patti LaBelle claimed she didn't know what this song was about. Yeah right. It's about a guy who spent some time with a sex worker on his trip to New Orleans. There's no judgment. It's just a sort of funky, sort of disco-ey, definitely belted song and it’s great.

Minnie Riperton – “Lovin’ You” -- April 5, 1975

Turn it off turn it off turn it off. I hate this song. It's one of the first songs I knew I hated musically, rather than only lyrically. The lyrics are whatever, a 70s love song, but the music -- I can't handle it. It's like sandpaper on my brain.

Elton John – “Philadelphia Freedom” -- April 12, 1975

Elton John's ode to Philly soul. It doesn't work. It's too slow, it's repetitive, and Elton John's no soul singer. He's so boring.

B. J. Thomas – “(Hey Won’t You Play) Another Somebody Done Somebody Wrong Song” -- April 26, 1975

Hey won't you not play that please. It's too slow, and it's without guts or grit. The Muppets sped it up and made it a multi-Muppet honky tonk singalong, which improved it a lot. Also I think Bo Burnham took the idea for "Y'all dumb motherfuckers want a key change?" from Rowlf's "Up a key!" line in the Muppet version.

Tony Orlando & Dawn – “He Don’t Love You (Like I Love You)” -- May 3, 1975

Another cover of a 60s song. Linda Rondstadt is still the only one to do it right. The song itself, when sung by others, is a good one. Not when sung by Tony Orlando. It's like he bleached it. Also I expect him to tell me the slot machines are available all night when he's done.

Earth, Wind & Fire – “Shining Star” -- May 24, 1975

This song is absolutely awesome. It's disco-funk, and yet it's sort of a sermon about self-actualization too. "You’re a shining star, no matter who you are / Shining bright to see what you could truly be.” Compare and contrast with the condescending "Have You Never Been Mellow." This is how you inspire people.

Freddy Fender – “Before The Next Teardrop Falls” -- May 31, 1975

This song is in both English and Spanish. Musically, it sounds like it comes from way before 1975, but that's not a bad thing. The singer is losing his woman to another man, but he tells her if the new man ever hurts her, he'll be there before the next teardrop falls. It's a solid country song.

John Denver – “Thank God I’m A Country Boy” -- June 7, 1975

How much money did John Denver have by this point? He sounds like the typical rich conservative talking about how he's a good ol' down home boy while he's got a condo in New York, a mansion in California, and keeps an official residence in Oklahoma for tax purposes that he never visits. "A-raisin’ me a family and working on the farm / My days are all filled with an easy country charm." Total and absolute bullshit -- farm work is phenomenally hard, not "easy country charm." This song is offensively bad.

America – “Sister Golden Hair” -- June 14, 1975

The singer isn't ready for commitment but can't stop thinking about the woman he's singing to. So he's trying to keep her hangin' on. There's one line that I hate: "Will you love me just a little, just enough to show you care?" How about you show her you care first, you entitled brat? The music's pretty good, but the lyrics bug me.

The Captain & Tennille – “Love Will Keep Us Together” -- June 21, 1975

It has a beat and some bounce at least. She sings about how some girl may come along to try to take him away -- seriously? This silly hat-wearing doof? Okay, that's a problem. Another problem is that she sounds perfectly chipper throughout. She's not worried, but who would be? I think this song struck a chord because of the divorce rate in the 70s. That, along with it having an actual beat of some kind unlike so many other hits of the era, is my theory as to how it got big.

Wings – “Listen To What The Man Said” -- July 19, 1975

There is, of course, nothing wrong with silly love songs. But some of them are not good songs. I usually love to hear a saxophone on a pop song, but this one sounds like it belongs in background music on a TV show. The main melody line is boring. I think it's another song about divorce anxiety: "No matter what the man said/ And love is fine for all we know/ For all we know, our love will grow." Very true. But did you have to be so boring when imparting this message, Paul?

Van McCoy & The Soul City Symphony – “The Hustle” -- July 26, 1975

Doo doo doo da doo doo doo da doo. My dad actually knew how to do the two-person hustle. I think. Anyway, how he showed me to dance is the way the couples are dancing in the Hustle video here. Minus that leg kick. There are almost no words to this song. Just "Do the Hustle" and "The Hustle. Do it." And -- okay! It is an irresistible dance song. I like it, though the piccolo (I think it's a piccolo) gets hard to listen to after a while.

Eagles – “One Of These Nights” -- August 2, 1975

Tom Breihan, whose Stereogum articles I've been using to track these songs, doesn't like the Eagles when they turned to a bit more of a rock direction with this song. This is one of many examples of how he's wrong. Okay, okay, an example of how my taste differs from his, which is one thing that pushed me to do this list. But yes, I really like this song a lot. The guitars are great. The narrator of this song is looking for a girlfriend. Or maybe a friend with benefits. The lyrics are all pretty good, if hardly Stevie Nicks level, but one line stands out: "Oh, loneliness will blind you in between the wrong and the right." It will.

The Bee Gees – “Jive Talkin'” -- August 9, 1975

I made a weird noise that scared my cat when I saw this was the next one. But thankfully, I have a little more time before Barry Gibb's horrible falsetto pierces my brain. This is nonetheless a Bee Gees disco song, which means my butt is firmly planted in my seat and I have no desire to dance whatsoever. It isn't ear-bleeding like their later songs, as the falsetto is absent, but it is terribly boring.

Hamilton, Joe Frank And Reynolds – “Fallin’ In Love” -- August 23, 1975

He's fallin' in love with you again. Or maybe fallin' more in love with you. I dunno. I'm falling asleep.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “Get Down Tonight” -- August 30, 1975

Some dance songs are good listening songs. This one is not. The narrator wants to do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. And if you are not there to get down, the song is not for you. Especially how repetitive it gets in the second half. It serves its purpose as a dance song well, though.

Glen Campbell – “Rhinestone Cowboy” -- September 6, 1975

I really like rhinestones. I like sparkly stuff. The narrator of this song does too. He's been trying to get somewhere for a long time and has had it. He's eager to sell out thoroughly at this point. I get it. Oh boy do I get it. And being a rhinestone cowboy doesn't hurt anyone. If I could churn out huge amounts of disposable fiction with a "load of compromising" to make a lot of money, I'd do it in a heartbeat. My 20-year old self would be shocked. But life's hard, and "cringe" isn't harm. Rhinestone Cowboy's good in my book.

David Bowie – “Fame” -- September 20, 1975

And here's a song about how chasing celebrity is maybe not such a great idea. A really bad idea, actually. "It drives you to crime," for one thing. Yet this is musically not a dour song at all. It's angry but upbeat at the same time. Also brilliant musically, which from David Bowie is "of course." Most excellent.

John Denver – “I’m Sorry” -- September 27, 1975

The narrator is sorry about a breakup. He says he's also "sorry for the way things are in China." That one line makes me side-eye the entire song. Saying that they're sorry for huge things that have nothing to do with them is something abusive people sometimes do. The rest of the song sounds sincere enough though. And boring. Oh, so very boring.

Neil Sedaka – “Bad Blood” -- October 11, 1975

The narrator is telling a guy that the woman he's with is bad and is going to mess him up. And he's angry about it -- not at the woman, but at the guy. I think the narrator wanted the woman and is now calling her an evil bitch to try to turn his supposed friend against her. There's this happy flute in the background that sounds really odd with this deeply nasty song. Also, nastiness should be more interesting than this. It's both mean and boring.

Elton John – “Island Girl” -- November 1, 1975

Did Elton John start all his songs with the same chords? I feel like he did. This doesn't sound like an island song. It sounds like an ad jingle. A racist, sexist ad jingle. Ha-ha isn't it funny that a woman is tall and dark-skinned. The song calls her a "well-worn tire." So, so bad.

KC & The Sunshine Band – “That’s The Way (I Like It)” -- November 22, 1975

I have never understood any lyrics to this song but the chorus, or been curious enough to look them up. I just did. There are very few lyrics in this song besides the chorus, but yep, it's about sex. It's another KC & The Sunshine Band dance song that's great for dancing, and not really meant for anything else.

Silver Convention – “Fly, Robin, Fly” -- November 29, 1975

"Fly, robin, fly/ Up up to the sky" are the lyrics to this song. Over and over again. It's plastic Euro-disco and it is bad. Not danceable, no reason to listen to it, no reason for it to exist. I can only think that large amounts of cocaine were involved in this becoming a hit.

The Staple Singers – “Let’s Do It Again” -- December 27, 1975

It's another sleepy sex song, but this one is by a band with three sisters and their father. Their father sings on this track too. Apparently he didn't want to, and I wish he'd stuck by that, because ew.

BEST OF 1975 -- "Lady Marmalade" by LaBelle and "Shining Star" by Earth, Wind and Fire WORST OF 1975 -- "Island Girl" by Elton John

#billboard number ones

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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14x01 watching notes

RIP Kip, we hardly knew ye.

Well hey, returning friends and people who unwittingly clicked on this not knowing exactly what they're in for. Blowing off the dust and starting a new season of Dabb fuckery, which I spent way too long trying to think of a portmanteau for when I already have the episode downloaded

It's 5am, let's DO THIS.

So they start with Dean's Hi I Am A Cop On The Day Before I Retire speech re: hula girls and hawaiian t-shirts which is remarkably prescient of me to have been irrationally upset about that one detail after I binged most of season 13 last night to get me back in the mood. So now I have to elaborate on my one line textpost >.>

Because yes, that is the perfect note to start the season on: Dean thought the good times had rolled, allowed himself to hope, assembled himself a family with mom and step-pop (Bobby counts as a full father but AU Bobby is step-pop), brother, husband, kid... Said kid was promising A World Without Monsters aka Dabb's showrunning tagline for an endgame he teases them. And Lucifer was tucked safely away in an AU with the murderous Michael... And then in a series of events it all came crumbling down and with this amount of goodness in his grasp, he gave up what even when the real Michael was hounding him for it, he couldn't before.

Because in season 13 it is beyond obvious that Dean is tired, an Old Hunter, the best of his game but ready to bow out on that note, and yet for him it's not a matter of stepping back and letting someone else handle it because when Michael and Lucifer were involved, it was beyond personal. He and Sam only EXIST because Lucifer and realMichael wanted them to. And so there was no way this trouble would come to someone else's door, when it was the nasty angel on his shoulder and the devil on Sam's and we have Nougat as their collective responsibility who's the nexus of it all anyway.

Eeee the Road So Far text is glowy grace colour on a dark blue background. I'm JIZED for the title card.

Goodness, the Road So Far is a weird journey because we see Jack being all useful and magic and then callbacks to 13x01 and 2 where he was a messed up 2 day old and Dean just wanted to murder him.

I haven't outlined any expectations for this episode or even this recap but I suddenly realise that I should probably be wondering how much DeanCas we're gonna get in it, and this rage against Jack is subtextually motivated, for sure, but for me the first 6 episodes of Dean's grief arc were wonderful character stuff but removed from the main plot and therefore in my head I keep boxing them off like a bubble season, like 10x01-3 are, and I legit wasn't even expecting to SEE content from them in the recap, because brilliant as they are I sort of just forgot they were a part of this season despite watching them yesterday. The season for me became so much the Jack And Mary Search that this hiccup at the start didn't meet the requirements to be in season 13 :P

They're just That Time Dean Was Really Sad About Cas Then He Came Back And They Were Cowboys

Oh good there was "everybody we've lost" and then a recap of Cas dying and then - oh, we're recapping plot again? Er... everybody? Dean? Who else? DEAN?

this was the thinly veiled subtext of that line anyway since Dean waved off Mary and made it all about Cas anyways but. Yikes, editing team.

Jesus I watched season 13 yesterday and I forgot about Asmodeus. You know what, this is pre-coffee AND the 2 types of anti-brain fog medication I gobble in the morning.

But he's that much of a useless lump

Also too much Lucifer nipple on screen pre-coffee. Ick.

Nice recapping of Not The Levitating Fight.

NOW

Stock photo Nyoom of the season!! Hi Baby! You aren't in this episode because Eugenie said the car wasn't being used this season

Sam's got his Vengeance Eyes on but he's all scruffy and grown up so I trust him 10000% to get the job done.

OW. FUCK. OW. OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. GOOD USE OF INTERSTITIAL MUSIC

Why were you even listening to Dean's tapes if they fuck you up that badly? IS THIS YOUR VENGEANCE PLAYLIST? I'VE BEEN WAITING 10 YEARS

Actually, I haven't, I binged 4-5-6 as one unit after thinking the show was cancelled during the writers' strike but the point is that Sam and his ipod in 4x01 is immediately in my head because he was listening to his own music and being a hipster douche, but now he is not on demon blood he has not installed an ipod dock because he's GETTING DEAN BACK, DAMMIT but at the same time he's also realising that this means a heavy toll that the only driving music in the car is Dean's stuff...

Oh no, this must be the guy from the SDCC clip we hadn't seen because Osric Chau is banned forever for illegally uploading them all for us in the past, and all I know is that Deanchael is going to Fuck Him Up and I feel very bad for him

*raises my mug to Osric* I'm sure you tried, dude. And thanks for the previous years.

Hi Deanchael. I noticed in a promo pic that his tie has that sacred geometry type pattern on it which is a detail I made a mental note to type out literally anywhere in the like month between there and here and did not so here it is at a hopefully appropriate place.

Based on every other scene setting detail I suspect that this faithful man is actually still within the USA because this is literally the cabin set they re-use for everything. The spoilers made it sound like Deanchael was globe trotting to raise his army but now I see what's around us... Yeah no he's as focused on the US as every other big bad before.

Anyway they really specifically chose this prayer to Allah because of how pointed it was about being only for Allah and how he was the best, so I'm assuming Deanchael is here to be like yo God's gone and I'm your last chance of faith

Like just ruin his day and he got up at like 4am or whatever the first prayer is to do it and all

I hope, like, no offence to any Muslim viewers or anything >.> They sure play fast and loose with a lot of this stuff because Christian cultures are full of bitter non-believers raised in the culture and looking to kick up at the big guy in the sky, which is not an impression I get that Islam is as used to cultural flippancy, regardless of personal beliefs of residents of predominately Muslim countries and cultures. I'm not 100% sure though, because the closest link I've got is my raised-Christian Iranian friend who applies Christian eye-rolling to the issues with being in Iran and heathen so I still get that perspective of middle fingers up at Organised Religion from our discussions about it all... anyway big diversion, still waiting for coffee to kick in :P I just swallowed the last of it so I can only get more jittery from here on out!

It's so fuckin weird to see Dean's face confidently reciting verse in Arabic

I mean you don't need the hat, sir. I get it. It's not you in there.

Well so far anyway he's playing on the fact that the guy does pray to god and his angels.

Lol @ this man guessing his way through God AND Gabe to Deanchael's annoyance that he's the 3rd guess and he has to clarify that he's the better one.

Man, Gabriel worked on his reputation. I wouldn't have been able to tell you who Michael was because there wasn't even a kid in my class with that name when I was age 4 busy portraying Gabriel in a nativity play with full impish glee that the real deal would have been proud of.

Uhoh things aren't looking good for Jamil D: Asking for peace and love is good, you funky little hippy.

Is Deanchael implying that the Syria insurgency is the route to peace? I honestly don't know enough about the American foreign policy politics to know what sort of stance this is though from a liberal leaning show (I mean come on Bobo is a card-carrying socialist, I've seen it on Twitter :P), though to an outside viewer well aware of how fucked up it all is should this have been said on a British program, this is a vast over-simplification.

But we know Michael's main traits are Likes War and then also Warmonger and of course, spoilin' for a fight. So this may be a personal judgement and as much as they're bringing politics into their show I'm just backing right on out and going with this :P That he thinks it is more honourable to stay and fight and that Jamil is a hypocrite for not sticking around to work for peace actively.

Oh Jamil hooked up with a woman called Darleen. He is FOR SURE in America.

It's so funny to me that Deanchael can fly anywhere and they could have set this anywhere but it still ends up being a wooden cabin in the US. This has to turn out to be a lead to follow with a news report about the poor guy or else this is just hysterical that they couldn't be arsed to mock up even a hint of another country :P

He knew all this about Jamil beforehand so I have to assume he's really just here to drag him.

Man, that throw was GOOD. I'm assuming they either spent all summer playing with wires and stunts or else they've gone back to the drawing board on all this flinging people around business.

"A better world" oh we are so on for this World Without Monsters malarky still. This lines up with the clip from Dean they opened on so well - the dark irony of he and Michael working on the same project but from different angles. Dean wants to sort out monsters and bad things so he can go on a beach, aka his version of paradise, and Mikey wants to smush all the sinners, and clean up the planet, which is HIS version of paradise.

HECKIN GOOD TITLE CARD

now photoshop those wings on everyone

I LIKE SCRUFFY BULLET MAKER FROM THE AU.

He's like so happy to be in a world where you just casually have resources.

Meanwhile poor Maggie has become the de facto nurse and hates it.

Ugh the Bunker is a place where people just show up who yell "Soup's on!"

In my redshirt betting pool, Soups On is the first guy who dies.

Promo sceeeeene

I'm so happy Sam and Mary are doing this together. Last season Sam was so upset that Dean got to have a relationship with her, and he had missed out, but without Dean around - no offence to him - Sam and Mary may be focused on FINDING him but this is the work they also need to do for their relationship to start to ground it in something real. It's taken this long with all the separations, but remember that Mary also worked through some of her issues about Sam only last season in the AU with 6 month old Jack. And if she needed that sort of reminder and relationship to warm her up for Sam, her suddenly-grown 6 month old, then there were still a LOT of underlying issues that dated back to the start for her to overcome. Hopefully this puts them on a level playing field, though there's a new conflict brewing for them, with Mary's determined optimism vs Sam's pessimism, born of that depression from last season that never really got treated or resolved, they just managed to power past its current main triggers. Of course now it all just shifts in a Deanward direction.

I love how Ketch has been punted to London, at Buckleming discretion to drag him back. This wasn't even Bobo punting him out the door, and he and Buckleming have a violent back and forth over favourite characters, started in 9x06 with Bobo's very first episode when he banished Professor Morrison forever.

MARY TRIES MOMMING SAM TO GO TO BED

THEN SCRUFFY GUN GUY IS LIKE "CHIEF"

Chieeeeeeef.

Sam runs the shooow here and I love it. He's their badass MoL hunter leader, a scruffy saviour from another world.

Given Sam is wearing the same shirt and jacket in the promo pics I'm guessing he does not sleep, though I hope he gets to eat the soup.

"Maggie can you hack the traffic cams?" "um. no."

I love and support Maggie. She is a normal person who happened to live in apocalypse world and she just wants to flirt with the guy from the Gas n Go who probably hasn't talked to her since that got blown up and Jack attacked him over her... I mean, this is better than the AU world but maybe she just wants to be normal? Did anyone ask Maggie what she wanted??

SAM. You can eat your soup and run things at the same time! Get back here and eat that soup!

"yes sir"

Goodness, this is wonderful. Sam's doing what he was born to do, and then not because that was leading a friggin demon army, but then yes because he's got inherent leadership traits that he defers to Dean all the time because, well, he's there, and he's big bro.

Look, sometimes you need big bro to murder Satan's ass for you forever, but you also should be calling the shots. There's a balance here, where Dean can be the older brother, but Sam can be the boss. Work/life balance. Dean's got your back but you command an army of hunters, like we've all been salivating over since like season 8 when they first said the MoL ran the Bunker as the hub of operations dictating stuff to trusted hunters and the like.

Of course, if Sam is the Bobby here, then who is the AUBobby? I hope we see what's up with that soon, I've been wanting them to bristle those beards in an alpha way at each other for months, because AUBobby was their leader before Sam because Sir Chief.

"Sam."

"i'm good"

*mothering intensifies*

"i'm GOOD"

*mothering intensifies*

"How's Jack"

You aren't used to being mothered and it's murdering me completely to my soul. Dean's got SO MUCH MOTHERING all through the show compared to you. He even sees Jody as a mom friend while you crush on her like crazy so you haven't even got that!!!!

Because Chief Sam is the boss of this lot but at the SAME TIME he's getting all these soft tender mom moments he's never got to have before. It's a wonderful balance of nuances to his current life. He's overworked but surrounded by a supportive care team that respects him, gives him soup, and holds his hand, literally in Mary's case. And yet he's the scruffy macho competent boss who knows how to call all these shots, deputise, set up missions, but still knows more than them, how to do traffic cams, I'm sure years of lore over most of these hunters who only learned to deal with what got thrown at them in the apocalypse by trial and error because when do they get lore books? Mary and Bobby and other pre-apocalypse hunters would be few and far between to offer competent training to a populace suddenly all turned hunter.

Oh, AUBobby is beating up Jack. Perfect.

AAAH DIRECTED BY TJW

WAS NOT ADEQUATELY HOLDING ONTO SEAT

WARN A GIRL

I love finally seeing the training room but I'm deeply conscious that this is where Put Up Your Dukes starts and I can't get that fan fic out my mind so I'm just like, Jack, don't lie on the floor, your dads have banged there.

I'm so happy that AUBobby is nurturing a grandson, because this is the difference between him and Bobby - that our Bobby had that with Sam n Dean, but AUBobby never did. Though he DID have Mary Campbell to crush on, I doubt it would have softened him and rounded out the harsh places in his soul the same way raising Sam and Dean did, because he had an unrequited love and she hadn't gotten over John, while this recently widowed Mary Winchester actually has made better progress just because of the circumstances of the loss. Anyways Jack has no preexisting history with Bobby so there's nothing weird about him and AUBobby stepping into a nurturing relationship, that Sam n Dean would find uncomfortable in a way, given their relationship with Bobby. And Jack gets yet another strong figure to teach and guide him.

AUBobby looks slim and stands tall compared to Bobby, which I'm largely putting down to posture, and not being drowned in layers. I like this difference - Bobby almost never voluntarily dressed in 1 layer, but AUBobby has a more military slant, and this training sergeant routine with Jack is a good fit to show a difference in his character, that isn't surly old Bobby behind his desk, that he's involved in teaching Jack to fight, rather than helping hunters with lore and swigging whiskey.

I'd assume given the lack of availability in his AU, he's considerably less alcohol dependant, so this is a very different character thing. If Bobby were doing this training, and nothing else was different, he'd be taking a breather to pour them both a whiskey as he imparts wisdom.

Demon in nice shoes and dark sunglasses at night to indicate that yes I am a demon I have black eyes :P I assume this is a demon anyway not just because of this detail but pre-season spoilers

Ah hearing Cas's name is enough to make my heart pick up. MY GUY!

But then, "Castiel, darling"

Stop trying to make Good Omens happen, it's not going to happen. You can't just "darling" up to an angel and expect that good good romance. Crowley took years to wear Cas down and Cas never actually LIKED him, down to their last real interaction where Cas was just "WTF???? LEAVE ME TO ROT AND DIE" when Crowley saved him in 12x12

God I miss that

"Oh god."

Same, buddy.

You do, however, realise this is your first words of the season gifset line, though?

Someone ought to write to Dabb and inform him that people make first and last word gifsets and to be more careful.

Especially if in the last episode at the end of the season, Cas's last word is "Dean"

Anyway Cas has said 1 line and I can tell he's on top form. Unlike 10x01 he's in a hipster hogroast joint.

This demon, with dark black sunglasses inside at night (douchebag) just ordered a coffee, black. WE GET IT, ENOBY DEMENTIA DARKNESS RAVEN WAY, YOU ARE GOFFIC AND IT'S AS BLACK AS YOUR SOUL

LOL Cas is sitting under the JACK'S sign.

Demon douche sits under Schultz, which is the death beer. And lemme tell you, TJW is well-versed in this. So well-versed in it he's sat Cas in front of a classic El Sol flyer with the subtle touch required to tell Dean that Cas is his dream girl. He knows his shit.

This seriously seems to be implying that the rise of hipster food joints is an effort from Hell to spread chaos on earth

Cas sitting with his back to the fire is such an interesting visual, but this is just a note to self for later to guess what it all means

THIS FUCKIN DEMON TOOK HIS BLACK SUNGLASSES OFF TO SHOW OFF HIS BLACK EYES

Dabb is so good at incidental characters, and making me hate this guy for nuanced nonsensical reasons is amazing. This is... art...

This is a callback to 5x08 and Dean ranting about hating procedural cop shows then him and sam taking their sunglasses on and off at night every time they made a pun and I'm 100% convinced since 12x01 and Cas busting through that Mystery Spot sign that Gabriel has been subtly influencing events

Okay so we know exactly what is written on demon bathroom walls. I'm taking that as a sideways confirmation that Cain knew full well that Dean had his Colette because he'd seen crude doodles of them doing it

Anyway douchedemon just outright told Cas that all the demons assume he and Dean in particular are banging. Not that Cas bangs Winchesters, as some have implied, without knowing all the details. They've narrowed this info down.

I assume this is also in the Winchester Dossier that Barthamus studied from before meeting them. I love that demons probably do have a filing cabinet somewhere of all the notable assholes they run into in their work, and the Winchesters take up a whole cabinent, but the refresher file summarising them in a paragraph if you don't have time is like, Sam: Lazy boyking, will stab you. Dean: fucking Castiel, will stab you.

Cas doesn't even move an eyebrow. Incredible.

Cas rarely gets hit with these compared to Dean in the history of the show, and Dean is full of bluster or anger or confusion or alarmed eyebrows. Cas is like... no. fuck you. i'm party!Cas, I have my shit in order.

Though this is from a demon. It's an entirely different thing when Heaven is involved, as they also have their dossier on the winchesters.

Sam: abomination. will banish you. Dean: fucking Castiel. Will stab you.

*loud coffee slurp* "what's in it for moi?

Cas, stab him. Stab him now. This is not worth the information. You can find another guy.

I'm starting to think Cas with his back to the flames is his unwitting danger from this hellish hogroast place.

They use Shultz beer containers to hold the sauces and menus on the table. DEEEEATH

Cas speaking slower and threatening to burn him to ash "right here and right now"

this is a gifset that will get a lot of notes from thirsty Cas fans

Whaaaaaaaa the entire joint turned out to be owned by and filled with demons who would ever have guessed based on one open fire and that metal hogs head from the promo pics :P

Stop hurting him!!!! Misha can't stage fight! This is really unfair!!

I wonder how the poor new awesome fight coordinator took to Misha

"let's just... um..." "hide him behind all these demons?" TJW suggests The fight guy nods sadly.

Aww Sister Jo got back to work. Good for her.

Sister Jo has no fear and can stroll down a shady alley counting her money

*t-shirt meme* One fear: *flappy wing noises*

"Hey Jo."

GHOLY SHIT TRUE FORMS TYHUEOJDSHGFSH DS TRUE FORMS WE SEE WHAT ANGELS SEEE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SCIENCE HAS CAUGH T UP TO THE DIVINE, SPN CAN FINALL Y SHOW US WHAT ANGELS SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Holy shit I want the gif of this as my blog header. That's shitting amazing.

Burning HALO

ALL HIS CHI POINTS LIT UP EVEN WHEN IT MAKES IT LOOK SILLY TO HAVE HIS CALVES GLOWING

I wonder if this is what Danneel sees when she looks at Jensen all the time

"Why would he say yes to you?"

"Love"

I'm dying and I am dead. I gather that Dean is 100% absent from this episode, but that one comment puts him front and centre and I am in paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain. Everything happening around Michael and because of Michael is because Dean loves his peeps. From Sam staying up hacking traffic cams on vampires to Cas getting his ass handed to him by demons.

I bet Cas looks like that single glowstick he had on in the cave when angels look at him.

Party!Cas

I ruined the fun

Jensen gently touches Danneel's face and that's just rude because that's all his tenderness for his wife being turned into a scary villain move between Deanchael and Jo. Don't do this to them!!!

Oooof Deanchael pulls from Dean's memory of Anael about what she was like, describing her in the most Cas-like terms, then cuts through her hilarious bull about wanting handbags (this is so meta about sticking middle fingers in the faces of people who think she's a well-paid beard) and then starts telling her she wants love and a family.

Deanchael has used the word "love" twice in a scene and it's horrifying to see the word come out of his face, when Dean is so guarded. Now Deanchael is just looking through Sister Jo and analysing what she wants - and she's playing this game very well but this move of his might still beat her. Because ow. Telling her she wants belonging and family. When she's very much established as a Cas mirror by the reminder she ran away from Heaven and doesn't want to play by their rules.

"It's very, very human of you. And so disappointing." Did all those times Lucifer sucked her grace bring her close to feeling it? To the point of permanent damage? I only ask because I know another guy this might apply to.

I wonder how much Deanchael is projecting based on conjectures because he knows Cas through Dean's eyes.

"But if they're all these sad, lost, fallen things..." Ya, that's Cas too for suresies

SAM AND JACK SAM AND JACK

Jack sitting quietly in meditation, clearly unsettled. A parallel to 13x23 when Dean came rushing in to him having a nightmare, now Sam is having a crack at parenting the boy.

Jack lying about how things were fine. Nougat. Hon. You're human now. But not that good at being human. Sam knows your tells :P

Sam interrupted mid pep-talk by Mary with some nonsense.

Jack is always so ugh... accepting and kinda flippant. He knows parental figures can be disappointing and get dragged away mid peptalk by some business.

Which he's apparently not involved in. I guess after we see him going on hunts with them in 13x23, he's grounded until he goes through basic training so not only is he useless to help with his powers to find Dean, but he can't even do the easy hunter stuff because he's just a kid.

Aww my poor baby Nougat :( He's so angsty. He's a TEEN. Lookit him! All growed up!

Uuugh I guess this is Nick. "I didn't talk to him. I can barely look at him."

What I'm getting from this sequence mainly is the sound of Triss's rage at the Bunker layout.

*Mary pats Sam's shoulder supportively and walks off*

You're on your own, Chief.

Ugh I am not ready for this bull if it's Nick but I have to keep watching to be sure :P

Ew it is. EW. What does Mark P HAVE on you all.

At least TJW is shooting the heck out of this to show us how gross Sam finds this all.

Sam's shadow falling over Nick.

I really want to know how this bullshit happened. And yet. No, not really.

Oh gross AND they're making Mark P take off his shirt. The nipple I didn't want to see in the Road So Far was not warning enough.

Pre-season ugh speculation was that whatever Crowley did to Nick made him stronger and more permanent apparently even than Lucifer being stabbed out of him.

So yeah anyway I guess Jack is in part also sulking about this and I'm with him, because Sam being pulled away from their pep talk time to deal with Gross Man Associated With My Father But Not Actually Him Because Biologically I Am The Son Of A Non-Historical President...

Making Sam the one who has to care for Nick is utterly cruel. He has so many deputies. Maybe this is just his personal fear that Nick's still a bit Lucifery. Maybe he just sees this as a gross burden, a manifestation of the ongoing trauma from Lucifer, that even when he's dead he lingers.

Plus, it's giving us some reassurance that an angel can be ousted from a vessel without killing them, to throw some options into the Deanchael pot.

Still. Nick. Really.

I bet Jack is sulking because some little cosmic part of him regenerating deep down in his core, that one lil gold glowy chi point in his big toe, knows that Eugenie forgot his name at SDCC and called him "Nick" and this shit from your creator just weighs on you. Jack is an entity beyond Buckleming and yet born from them, and this is what they beget: forgetting their own child in favour of this old carcass.

bitter? moi? *sips coffee noisily*

Actually, that's not true but I need some tea because I'm sulky so I'm taking this ragebreak to go make some and then I will sip it noisily in Nick's direction. :P

Everything henceforth is under the jurisdiction of hot drink no.2

"I don't understand how Lucifer could die and I could live"

I hate you

Eurgh, I bet you anything Dabb pulled a Buckleming and just took the post-it note they gave him when he asked, er, HOW does this happen? and transliterated it into dialogue because 1: all the writers shade Buckleming all the time because I can literally see it ooze out of Perez and Yockey and Bobo's writing but this is the showrunner, guyses. 2: it's such a dumbass convoluted explanation that it only burns out the archangel but if you non-fatally stab it then the guy is fine.

Which begs the question of how the fuck is Gabriel because if we get anything good from this, that fucker is in one hell of an interesting vessel situation compared to Old Nick.

PS: I am not sure how culturally saturated this is so we are all clear that Old Nick is a historically used name for Satan and his name has been a joke since 5x01 thanks to Kripke, and now we have to actually deal with that.

And then Nick is actually sympathetic to how Sam feels looking at him. I guess Mark P really wants us to feel sympathetic to his new dude.

"And Michael... did he tell Lucifer anything about his plan?"

Listen, we NEED acknowledgement that for a month or so Lucifer and AUMichael roadtripped together to assemble from their AU the key of solomon, the fruit of the tree of life, and the blood of a most holy man.

There was a lengthy downtime while people settled in and Dean was allowed to think the Good Times were rolling, and all that time, the weirdest brother roadtrip show ever was going on in the AU, mad enough that I would actually find it hilarious to watch despite enduring Mark P as a result of it.

SAM DOES NOT DESERVE THIS

He's not allowed to rest, ever.

I bet this is douchdemon phoning him from Cas's phone.

"Hello Sam!" says a perky voice down the phone. It's INCREDIBLE how unlikeable this demon is making himself. He's actually my favourite character now.

Oh no, Nougat is wearing a different grey shirt. He's really depressed. Someone help him.

"He just told you he was a demon?" "he seemed proud of it too"

Sam hates him as well. I can't wait for Sam to come scowl at him.

"What do we do?" Maggie asks, completely wide-eyed. Oh honey. Poor, innocent, sheltered Maggie. What were you doing all apocalypse until we caught up with you? You aren't hardened, you're adorable.

AUBobby and Rufus (his gun)

"I'm coming too!" YAY JACK. Your father is in trouble, he's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days, but what a different world all the rest is

"I'm not as strong, but I can help," he says, looking tiny beside Sam, bruised up from AUBobby's training, a single layer to make him look even smaller...

(we do not talk enough about how all these jackets are a sort of alpha being shoulder plumping thing like when you make yourself look huge to scare off a mountain lion but that's 100% what this is)

IT MADE JACK SMILE yey he's allowed to feel useful! Pop is allowing him to go on a mission to rescue Dad who was looking for Papa when this all went down.

Grandpapa is not so pleased, because AUBobby has been measuring how useful Jack is and I feel like lil Nougat bab is going to do something mildly heroic for Cas or else get pasted for his ongoing character development for the season...

"He needs this, Bobby."

Dear LORD does he not quit? We don't even know his name? "Are you sure I can't get you anything... hot... or black?" FUck OFF

No wonder by the promo pic Cas looked so utterly done. This is exhaustingly annoying for him. Cas's personal hell is just irritating people. A line of Crowleys and Lucifers and this jerkwad chattering at him.

And yet Dean runs his mouth all the time and Cas is in luuuurve

Oh lordy are we really doing this coffee metaphor now? "Coffee has no effect on me" (but he once acquired the taste, and it was a core part of him being human and learning to human in the opening shot of 9x06 for him as his metaphor for how he was learning)

"me either *sluuuurp* not any more. But it's like saltwater taffy or infants. I just like the taste."

"I'm just being a good host like mother would have wanted"

Cas stops mid eyeroll to eyeroll HARDER at meeting ANOTHER demon with mommy issues. Like, please. Don't. I like Rowena now but can we NOT.

Party!Cas of Dabb era is my favourite iteration of Cas by a country mile.

"Why are you using me as bait?" "it's kind of what you're for"

Oh Cas. Now he's just the damsel in distress, which I guess is a step up from being an attack dog, but still isn't that great for the ego stroking about his role and use within the Winchester family, an ongoing source of stress for him, this reminds us.

Cas's faith in Sam is wonderful. like, as soon as douchmon says he needs something from Sam, Cas just SMIRKS like, OH BUDDY. BUDDDYYY. No, I'm not gonna say it. I'm just - "you think he'd make a deal with you?" I'm ... I don't laugh as a rule but inside? Hilarious.

"Somebody asked me what it was that I wanted" You know, I think Deanchael is INCITING people. he's not killing any of them, just using the revelation of his appearance to motivate them - moving Sister Jo to do what she wants, which is to re-organise Heaven with the ideas she had as a button pushing functionary... visiting world leaders and holy men, and this douche...

To what end, though? Chaos? This is a roundabout way to make a better world.

"Destroying, Drinking, Defiling, you know, the 3 Ds" they absolutely have posters up in Hell with this on for the newbies to learn.

We've seen Heaven's staffroom, I DEMAND to see the break room in Hell, with all its lurid Destiel smut doodled on the walls and so on

Anyway it's a hell of a question, pun intended, because demons have no real purpose, even the named baddies have largely been slaves to someone else's will (Lucifer or Crowley) and Crowley could not have answered that question from the start of season 6 through to the moment he chose to sacrifice himself... I don't think any of TFW 2.0 or Bunker Squad could answer it fully. Cas can't, and that's the question that's been bugging him since 9x06 -

EPHRAIM Shh-shh-shhh. It'll be over soon. I'll take the pain away.

CASTIEL I want to live.

EPHRAIM But as what, Castiel? As an angel? or a man?

and it's what his entire crisis in season 10 was over... Who ARE you Castiel? What do you WANT?

Dean wants a Beach Vacation Ending. He figured it out and as narrative punishment, he's Deanchael. No one else has sorted it out, though, but Sam got close - he had his pizza dream and was immediately punished with being eaten by vampires and resurrected by Lucifer and all that drama... Sam's work isn't done. Though his growth has taken a huge leap, now he has to figure out what he wants in this NEW setting, and we're only just MEETING Chief Sam in this iteration, so he's got a lot of work to do.

"I gave it a good think and I worked out exactly what I wanted. Everything."

Deanchael definitely is planning for this, so watch out buddy.

SAM DRIVING, MOM IN SHOTGUN

RED ALERT

Uhoh Sam's snapped because of the optimism Mary exudes. Yep, he really was nearly at the last straw in their earlier convo when he scoffed at her attempts to cheer him up.

Look, she's trying to mom you with no experience except adopting Jack. Work with her.

Sam is spiralling with the depression, this time all the bad things that could have happened to Dean and how they're never going to find him, throwing these horrible scenarios at Mary to stop her trying to comfort him.

"I know. I know he's out there, scared and alone." She sees lil 4 year old Dean. Because, I mean, that is the soul Dean bears to her when they have moments sometimes. And her optimism is a wall against thinking of her toddler in this scenario.

"I know. I know he might not come back. Never think I don't know that. But I can't - I have to think about the good, Sam. Because if I don't, I will drown in the bad." I wonder who that directly relates to who is currently driving this car.

I really hope this is a bit of vindication for Mary - or redemption to the eyes of the people who don't like her - that she does care, and she's spelling out her approach to all this. In the start of season 12 when she was trying to keep afloat she used a lot of optimism and furious paddling on the surface, because she has been doing that her whole life. When she was being raised a hunter, when she was a housewife with no clue what she was doing, a mom but he marriage beginning to fall apart... And then thrust into the present day, and it's 360 degrees of combat and loss and sadness and a ill-advised hook up with Ketch... Furious doggy paddling on the surface.

"For Dean's sake, I can't do that. We can't do that." And she shows that she is prioritising Dean, that she's driven and motivated to keep going FOR him.

Come on, give her a chance.

Nyooom.

Meanwhile in the Jack and Bobby truck, Jack is the one angsting and Bobby is the one driving.

Jack is one years old and not legally old enough to drive.

Bobby peptalks him with the reminder that when Jack had his grace he did hero things for these people, which is why he can ride shotgun, and even if he feels useless now, they'll have his back, that he has earned this squad even if he can't be as awesome as he used to.

Maggie is like, I'm getting a reaction shot... Am I going to develop feelings for Jack? That would be super weird, he's one years old. I hope no one is implying this even though I'm in a bunch of scenes getting character focus.

Eeeeeeee Sam trusts Mary with the demon killing knife. I am sure they don't call it Ruby's knife to her and he has never, ever told her about that time that thing happened with Ruby.

This fucker had his back turned for Sam to enter just so he could turn around dramatically. God he's repellent.

An extra was hired to pat Sam down. What a job.

"The shoulders. The hair! You are my Beyonce!" I mean, same. Except. Cas is Agent Beyonce so this fuckhead has totally misread this situation.

This gives Sam a moment to look over at Cas and Cas silently says, yes I know he's a total fuckhead, I've been dealing with this all day. I'm so sorry bro, can you just stab him so we can go home and follow a different lead. I don't even care what this one knows, I can't handle him another minute.

"I'm more embarrassed than I am hurt" I understand this to my core, and I'm so sorry, Cas.

"Kipling. Kip for short."

"Cool. Kip. I'm here." Sam being exactly as "fuck you" as I wanted towards Kip.

Sam is now standing with his head in an El Sol sign. TJW what are you up to bud?

Oh no Jack and Maggie got caught skulking. Sam and Cas have the same "my boy!" reaction when they see Cas.

Maggie is here too, you monsters.

But Kip has missed Mary and AUBobby

"It's just late capitalism, you understand" Yeah, and fuck you Kip.

How is Kip so irritating that he can make tapping a stool somehow the most obnoxious thing a man could do? He's WONDERFULLY well-cast. I love this actor. He's chewing scenery and it's incredible.

"What do you want?" Ow, Sam being twisted into asking the same thing Deanchael asked Kip

"Ass-modeus Kentucky Fried" listen you are still the worst but that drew a sympathetic smile and I hate it and I hate you.

Oh, Sam just Sammed something from that side glance, random demon side-eye. Oooh. Oooooooh.

But yeah, Kip asking for the "Crowley Deal" as if it's a package that can be bought from the Winchesters, and not something that Crowley wormed his way into via much back and forth power plays and drama. The Winchester have always had a back and forth with Hell, and since Crowley there have been a lot of demons, like Bart, trying to figure out what exactly it WAS that they all had. But someone has to be in charge, and the Winchesters are the top dog destined hunters with their fingers in all the world-saving pies, so clashes come naturally. Approaching them like this, first Bart, now this douchenozzle, is meta, presumptuous, overstepping what builds naturally... An attempt to leapfrog to the end where the equilibrium is established.

But Crowley had time to build a long game. These new pretenders are working in a world where the Winchesters' actions have devastated Heaven and Hell alike, and are, like Mary, just trying to keep afloat on the whole thing.

"We never gave Crowley that deal." Because yes, that's how it seemed to play out, and from outsider eyes that's how it may have looked... But each and every interaction came about naturally through the plot, there was no wrangling it. That's just how the Winchesters and Crowley ended up.

And that hole can't be filled by someone just leaping into the chair and asking for it.

Though it is nice if Motown Meats is the new seat of Hell on Earth instead of the outdated exterior asylum interior castle dungeon look Crowley set up.

"You're no Crowley. I know that. So do they." I think that was what Sam Sammed out of the demons, and also true, and ALSO is this the boyking accidentally exerting himself, knowing what's good for Hell? I always get a lil tingle in my thumbs when Sam gets too involved in knowing what's up with Hell.

Holy shit Kipling was a Mongolian warlord who rode with Genghis Khan in life. PLEASE survive this episode, I want to hate you all season. PLEAAAASE I BEG YOU.

Oh my god this insecure whinging asshole, chowing down on the scenery like there's no tomorrow. "I'D EAT YOUR HEART" *turns to weepy and quiet* "before I show you who I really am..."

This is Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending levels of scenery eating. He's gonna pick up a barstool and take a bite out of it now.

Sam is doing this all unarmed, which is something to remember, because this is the fucker who talked his way into killing the Alpha Vamp while MOSTLY unarmed for a majority of that chat.

Sam Fucking Winchester.

AUBOBBY AND RUFUS!!!!

Also mary.

But AUBobby gets a slow mo for Rufus shooting demons.

HOLY SHIT MARY'S SLOW MO

I am pregnant

MARY THROWING SAM THE KNIFE

TJW was like this fight is too fast, my guy. We need to slow it down. You're so good at your job no one's gonna see what happened unless we go slow mo.

he and the fight guy high five

"Aw, balls."

Hey, Nougat tried. He's got a squishy hero centre.

Looks like he weighs nothing and now he's human he goes down in one punch. Owie.

"Here take this. You know how to use it?" "Uh! Stab them with the pointy end!?" "pretty much"

Maggie you precious girl why are you HERE. Why is Soups On or Gnarly Gun Guy not here?

Cas you fucking damsel in distress

Fight guy is like "uuuuh do I have to"

Misha is like "I'm good here, tbh"

SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER

(Aw, Kip's dead, he was fun)

"ENOUGH"

YES SIR

"There will be NO NEW KING OF HELL"

You are gonna get demon minions like fucking ducklings you ass

"Not ever. And if anyone wants the job, you can come through me" Sam is technically immortal so long as Rowena is alive and vice versa you know. Also, how long is he planning on defending Hell? Ever?

I'm stalling from how much I have to scream about how badass Sam was throwing down that declaration that he's now essentially the trial a pretender to the throne has to pass to take the job.

Because if I was a demon... FUCK NO would I want to tangle with this fucker.

Sam's file, updated: Current King Of Hell. Will Kill You. AVOID.

Sam is fucking terrifying. I love it. He scared demons out of their meatsuits. Sam walking into a room is now a reason to eject and abort mission. God. This guy.

Remember in season 1 when demons were scary? Oo er this isn't our sort of thing... halp.

Now Sam looks them in the eye and is like, fuck off. I'm scarier than any of you.

"That's what I thought"

Cas is literally giving you the reverse look of in 4x16 when you marched in and fried Alastair's brain.

SAM GOT A NEW SHIRT thank god.

I should amend: he did all this wearing blue plaid with orange stripes.

Sam Fucking Winchester.

The BMoL definitely didn't have the right birth certificate because that's his legal middle name.

Sam n Caaaaas my GUYS. I hope this is the 10x01 convo but, like, not. Flip flip flip those pancakes, Dabb my guy.

Cas, hon, you're still so beat up you have blood trails coming out of your nose. There's not really caring about your meatsuit because it heals eventually, but there's also washing your fucking face, because Sam's had time to change his shirt and get a beer so what were you doing?

Probably staring at a picture of Dean on his phone and sighing.

Anyway he's here to ask how Sam is, rather than care about himself. Symbolism.

"I've been better. And worse." Worse is 10x01.

Or 4x10's flashbacks. For sure those are the worstest.

Though, this time you are the king of hell and you're wearing a dark shirt and I don't think you have thought this through.

The most well-meaning accidental king of hell ever.

Sam and Cas share the "to find Dean I'd do anything" look. Be CAREFUL. Cas is literally choosing to wear hubris on his face because he feels bad about his fuck up with going to Kip.

Mary! Casual Mary chilling in the kitchen!!

Although, with everyone in the bunker, these rooms are taking on different meanings. The people are chasing out the heavy shadows and ghosts of all the oppressive silences Sam and Dean have filled these corners with.

Aw it's Mary and AUBobby. I was half-hoping we'd have her giving beer to Jack, but I guess we need to set up the forward momentum on their relationship for this season.

"Not bad today, old man." "you too, Sunshine."

You do realise that Mary is sitting in the exact same spot as where Dean was when he called Cas "Sunshine" You do know that right I mean you KNOW? This is TJW, he knows. He's a Destiel Shipper of the highest order.

Cas pops in on Jack, staring at his busted up face in a mirror, now filling more Winchester angst tropes to make up for lost time. "I'm fine," he says without being asked. Because 10x01 or 10x02 was where Cas defined "fine" for Hannah and explained to her it's what humans say when things are really not fine but they can't admit it.

"You did well." "All I did was get punched. In the face."

I love snarky teen Jack.

"To be fair, we all got punched in the face," Cas says, still covered in hubris.

He has a POINT. He has full right to pull the "I should feel more useless than you" card on Jack.

Jack doing the "i'm useless" thing that Cas had to go through when he lost his grace, and Jack was allowed to stay in the Bunker. Is this how Cas would have felt had he not been kicked out?

Jack says Michael's out there and he still feels responsible to stop him. There's a very, very very very ver very weird Hamlet vibe from Jack, being forced into a position of emotional responsibility to kill his uncle, but Cas is his once dead now back and not a ghost father, and Jack couldn't kill Michael and so Dean got possessed... I mean, it's not a neat overlay, but Jack wants to kill an uncle, an AUncle, and I feel like in terms of uncle-killing narratives, AU Michael making off with Dean fits about as well to Hamlet's uncle marrying his mom as we're gonna get... I'd love to see how this shapes out because these family narratives since season 11 are becoming deeply shakespearean in the amount of nonsense going on. This sort of supernatural drama is a modern world way to have this kind of heightened emotion and the stakes you find in Shakespearean tragedies, and to force the sorts of reflection on the world and self... I really really dig it. Watching season 13 yesterday really hit me with this feeling all over and I'm delighted that Jack has this arc because I'm so amused/interested to see where this weirdo Hamlet parallel goes for him.

"I don't have anything." "Oh Jack" thanks Cas that's what I said out loud "you have me. You have all of us. You have your family." *SHOULDER GRASP*

No hug. Fuck off Cas, with your reassuring shoulder grasps. I know that's the language you've been taught but Dabb era is hug era and you suck.

I love that with all of Sam and Mary's doubt and Jack's lack of self worth, it's down to CAS. CASTIEL. CASTIEL WINCHESTER. CASTIEL FUCKING WINCHESTER. PARTY!CAS. to give the actual pep talk of the episode which has ANY conviction behind it. Cas has been fuelled with something MAGNIFICENT since the Empty, and he's turned it up to 11 for Jack here :')

Jack makes the smallest smile, then turns back to his mirror.

Sam opening the door to his bedroom, framed in darkness. 10x01 parallels again - this shot as well as the demon dean one were repeated a few times through the 3 episode arc, and the demon dean one became iconic but Sam did it too, to Dean's room. Now he goes into his own... empties his pockets... he still has the fucking engraved money clip from Tall Tales because Gabriel is not only not dead but telling this entire story for us... He has the phone, that's off, because Dean is not there, not communicating with him, blah blah. And he has the keys to the Impala. Because he's the chief.

Well, the King of Hell. Damn, it took 14 years to get him there. Azazel is fucking spinning in his grave.

Ooh, phonecall! Is it Deanchael? "What do you want?"

Nope, it's Sister Jo! :D She's been standing there ALL NIGHT weighing her options and working out what she wants.

SPIN THAT CHAOS, DEANCHAEL.

Deanchael approaches a vampire, and it's that purity of Purgatory, that just wanna eat that fuelled so much of the badass stuff in season 7 with the Leviathan, everything Dean's struggled with when it comes to the black and white world of killing monsters no problem that dates back to Gordon in 2x03, that draws Deanchael to them. Because this is Dean's safe space with Benny, a real relationship based on a bond forged in pure, kill or be killed, eat or be eaten purgatory. Deanchael has the same inner machinery as Dean, because Michael is the worst version of Dean, engineered to be Dean but without love. Dean as a monster. And so it all leads here... D:

Well this will be fun :D

#14x01 #season 14 spoilers #my stuff #dabb vs cars #HECK

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discountalien-pancake · 6 years

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Thoughts on the Wings of Fire and Warrior Cats covers (any arc is fine)?

There’s a couple different versions I think? Maybe? But this one seems to be the main one, or at least the nicer one.

Oh, yeah I fucking hate this. Scholastic ones it is!

Coolio.

I’m only showing like, half of them because there’s so many, but this is a pretty indicative selection. They’re very nice! Very colorful but also crisp. They’re very different from the new Art Fowl covers (still drooling over how beautiful those are, if anyone wants to buy me a birthday present, I’d kill for a copy of book 8), but they give me the same kind of punchy, graphic novel-ish vibe. I love the colors on them and how dynamic and vibrant they are. Who the heck decided that adult fantasy covers have to be so boring and serious all the time? This stuff is the shit!

The zoomed in portrait for the companion novel is a good design choice—it’s clearly in the same style as the others, but different enough that we know it’s not in the same timeline. (The Selection covers did the same thing, but they looked kinda tacky.)

The title typography is fucking superb, you funky little typeface. I’m exaggerating, but really, it’s very well chosen, and the gradient is nice. And I’m absolutely here for the tidy little sans serif author names and their color coordination.

The one big thing I don’t like about the typography is that the glow around the titles makes them look blurry and a little hard to read on some of the covers. They’d probably look better with a fainter, more diffused glow. Also some of the titles have questionable color choices, namely books 6-7. Not the worst thing in the world.

9/10, a point docked for questionable color choices and legibility issues.

Bonus mini dissection of why the photo-realistic version sucks: It takes itself way too seriously. These are what, chapter books? Middle Grade, maybe? Who allowed you to suck the fun out of these cover designs? Sure, we get that dramatic shot of the dragon coming towards us, but do we really care? I want to see colorful dragons, not a dirt-colored featherless dinosaur with wings that someone stole from a Jurassic Park set. Look how spunky that original illustration looks, and tell me seriously that it looks better in 3D with crusty scales. And then there’s the title, which is ugly as heck, poorly modified from whatever the already-ugly original was. It’s so unnecessarily cramped. 6.5/10 for doing a job and being boring.

And now…Warrior Cats.

I’m not a fan of the art style but they’re very competently rendered. The typography is ugly, but it’s also old as balls, so I’m a little lenient on it.

And uh, all the new ones are super closely cropped like this? And it’s legit kind of unsettling. This cat looks like it has anxiety.

The typography is the same and hasn’t aged well, but unfortunately it’s just kind of too late to change it at this point. I can, however, complain about how ugly the color is. They could’ve given it some texture, or like, a high-shine metallic effect like the Art Fowl covers, or a gradient like the Wings of Fire covers above. Anything, really, to make it more interesting. The really dark drop shadow isn’t doing it any favors either.

6.5/10 on both old and new. I don’t know what you want me to say, my guy, they’re cats with dramatic lighting.

#pancake answers #book covers #when are people going to learn that photo-realism doesn't = good #Anonymous #pancake's faves

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puroresu-musings · 7 years

Photo

NJPW WRESTLE KINGDOM 12 in Tokyo Dome Review (Jan 4th 2018)

IWGP Jr. Tag Title Match: Roppongi 3K (c) vs. The Young Bucks ****

NEVER 6 Man Title Gauntlet Match **3/4

Kota Ibushi vs. Cody ****

IWGP Heavyweight Tag Title Match: K.E.S. (c) vs. EVIL & SANADA ***1/2

NEVER Openweight Title Hair vs. Hair Match: Minoru Suzuki (c) vs. Hirooki Goto ****1/2

IWGP Jr. Heavyweight Title 4-Way: Marty Scurll (c) vs. Will Ospreay vs. KUSHIDA vs. Hiromu Takahashi ****1/2

IWGP Intercontinental Title Match: Hiroshi Tanahashi (c) vs. Jay White ***1/2

IWGP U.S. Title Match: Kenny Omega (c) vs. Chris Jericho ****3/4

IWGP Heavyweight Title Match: Kazuchika Okada (c) vs. Tetsuya Naito ****3/4

Photos.

This was a great supershow that, despite its gargantuan runtime, was actually incredibly easy to sit through. I don’t think it was quite as good as the three previous WK’s (specifically the 2015 outing, which I think is one of the greatest cards ever), but it was tremendous stuff nonetheless. One (sort of) negative to the show is that there were some curious winners, but on the whole it didn't matter as the action was so good. I missed around 70% of the pre-show New Japan “Rambo”, but what I did see was suitably horrible. Despite this, it had a super happy ending in that cancer survivor Masahito Kakihara won the thing when he last eliminated Cheeseburger with an STO. He then thanked everyone for donating to the Yoshihiro Takayama foundation, which just made everything seem really feel good. I also had to laugh when Kakihara made his entrance, and the old UWFi theme played, and commentator and UWF legend, Kazuo Yamazaaki teased he was going to enter from the booth.

The main show kicked off with an excellent IWGP Jr Tag Title clash, in which The Young Bucks won the straps for a seventh time. Much like their match last year, this was a great, storyline and psychology driven match from the Jackson’s in which they worked over YOH’s injured back, and in turn RPG 3K worked over Matt’s injured back all match, both of which were sold beautifully, and played into the finish. SHO looked great getting the hot tag and hitting his impressive power spots, including the double German, and I’m sure he’s going to be a big name in the years to come. The finish came at 18:49 after the Bucks hit the Meltzer Driver on YOH, then Nick locked in the Sharpshooter for the submission win. The CHAOS team of Ishii, Yano and Baretta walked out of the Dome as NEVER 6 Man Champions after surviving the gauntlet. This was all-action, but realistically was exactly the same as every other one of these we’ve seen. Sabre Jr, Taichi and Kanemaru eliminated War Machine and Elgin, then the Suzuki-gunners were sent packing by the CHAOS trio seconds thereafter. Taguchi, Makabe and Juice were in next, but Yano rolled up the Funky Weapon to send them home, which left them against defending champions, the BC Polynesian crew of Fale, Tonga and Loa, which ended after Baretta pinned Tama with the Dudebuster at the 17 minute mark. This was all fine.

Kota Ibushi defeated Cody in an excellent match which far exceeded my expectations. This wasn’t quite as good as Cody’s match with Okada in Long Beach, but it was easily in the tope three Cody matches I've ever seen. Ibushi looked incredible here, and Cody more than held his own. The big spot was Cody hitting a hideous looking Cross Rhodes off the apron, which I was certain killed Ibushi as he landed right on top of his head. However, Kota fired back, hitting that devastating Lawn Dart spot which folded Cody up, destroyed him with Kamigoye, then turned back the clocks and won at 15:08 with the Phoenix Splash. The win here potentially sets Ibushi up for the IWGP Heavy Title, but time will tell on that front. EVIL and SANADA won their first Tag Titles over Lance Archer and Davey Boy Smith Jr in a very good doubles clash. I can't help but feel that K.E.S. are somewhat under-utilised in NJPW at present, but they looked really good here, dominating the match and destroying the Young Lions at ringside, as if they were channeling Hansen and Brody or something. I hope they get a better run in 2018, and that all these multi-man’s for these titles go away for good. SANADA predictably picked up the win for the LIJ team when he pinned DBS Jr with the Muto Moonsault in 14 minutes.

The NEVER Hair vs. Hair match between Suzuki and Goto was a dramatic, strong style war, which was the best match on the show up to that point. These guys could easily have had this match last year, if it weren't for all the shenanigan filled matches they had, and it was all the better for just being down to them without all the faction nonsense. They smacked the hell out of each other, with Goto getting the worst of it, ending up with a bloodied mouth and swollen face, and at one point Suzuki hit a sickeningly stiff headbutt. This was just great, believable stuff throughout. Suzuki almost won several times with his choke, but Goto would somehow power out with Ushigoroshi’s. Goto went for what I thought was going to be the Shouten, but he dropped Suzuki across his knee in a modified GTR, then hit the regular version at 18:04 to win the belt and keep his hair. In the post match, Suzuki teased reneging on the stipulation, but like the man’s man he is, shaved his own head. Next up was the insane 4 way for the Junior title. This pretty much lived up to expectations, and was an action packed, high flying spectacle. There was almost too much action to call, but it featured so many great spots, including Ospreay hitting a Moonsault off the lighting rig, everyone hitting dives, and a bunch of Sunset Flip Bombs out of the ring. The finish came at 21:18 after Ospreay scored a near fall on Hiromu with an imploding 450, then missed the Oscutter, but was hit with Time Bomb by Takahashi. Scurll broke it up and annihilated Hiromu and KUSHIDA with hard umbrella shots, but was hit with the Oscutter for Ospreay to win his second title. Tanahashi’s I.C. Title defence against Jay White was interesting. I’d say it was Tana’s least appealing Dome match since his IWGP Title match with Suzuki at WK6. I mean, it was a very good contest and despite his physical limitations, Tanahashi put on a great performance, but on the whole it just lacked something. I think the main problem here was that realistically, nobody bought White winning this at all, even with the Tanahashi knee injury. White worked the knee most of the match, then Tana insanely hit the HFF to the floor, hit some Sling Blades, then missed a HFF in the ring and sold the knee. White got a near fall with a Kiwi Crusher. Tana scored a near fall with a Dragon Suplex, before retaining with two more High Fly Flow’s in 19:56. Honestly, I don’t think White was hurt by the loss here. If anything a win may have harmed him more as he hardly put on a performance good enough to justify having the belt. In reality, this match was very good based on the performance of Tanahashi and not because it was a break-out star-making one by White. As it stands, I think the company are big on him, so he’ll be fine and theres no point rushing to put a top belt on him at this point.

Then the Alpha vs. Omega co-main event. This was just a crazy brawl, as it had promised to be. Jericho was clearly having a ball here, heeling it up like nobody’s business, slapping around Red Shoes, his son Umino, and stealing photographers cameras at ringside. It was like he was channelling old boss Genichiro Tenryu, both with the grouchy old dude gimmick and the fact that, at the grand old age of 47, he may have had his best singles match ever. Kenny juiced after being rammed into a chair in the corner (not before he awkwardly dropped his gig for all you eagle eyed viewers), which really gave this the aura of something special, as virtually no mainstream promotion does juice anymore. This was an intense grudge match which was completely different to what we’re used to seeing from both guys really, even though both hit all their signature spots. After Jericho was sent off the second rope through a table outside following a V-Trigger, things really picked up. Jericho rolled through a OWA and locked in the Walls Of Jericho, which teased the stoppage, but Kenny made the ropes. Omega fired back with V-Triggers and the One Winged Angel, but Jericho grabbed the ropes for a tremendous near fall. Kenny countered a top rope Frankensteiner by dropping Y2J face first on the turnbuckles, but Jericho hit the Code Breaker for another great near fall. Jericho draped a chair over Omega, and went for the Lionsault, but Kenny threw the chair at Jericho, then hit the match winning OWA onto the chair to end a fantastic match at 34:36. Negatives out of the way first, this was maybe a little too long, but honestly this was just great pro wrestling and it makes me want to see more of Jericho in New Japan (I suspect a showdown with Naito is on the cards at some point).

Then the main event, which was under quite some pressure in the sense that they had to follow the last match, Okada’s main event from last year’s show (and really, the last three WK shows), and the fact that after a four year struggle, they're finally in the main event spot, so they had a lot to live up to. This was a fitting end to an incredible show, it was probably the match of the night, and they worked this like it was the most important match of their respective careers. Its also worth noting that Okada worked the match in these hideous, bell bottomed pants which he needs to lose ASAP. Both guys seemed to work each others necks, as they dropped one another on their heads repeatedly. Things got very interesting when Naito went up top, but missed his old Stardust Press finish (which reminds me, seeing as he’s no longer the Stardust Genius, shouldn't he really have gotten rid of the old Stardust entrance theme?). This was the turning point of the match really. Okada hit the German and transitioned into the Rainmaker for a believable near fall, then went for a Tombstone, but Naito reversed it into Destino, but was too exhausted to cover. This all built to the crazy finishing sequence that is prerequisite for Okada title defences, filled with counters and reversals, as the packed Tokyo Dome went crazy. Naito finally hit Destino again, but inexplicably elected to go for another instead of the cover. This time, the champion reversed Destino into the jumping, spinning Tombstone, then hit a final, massive Rainmaker, to retain the crown at the the 36:30 mark. Theres been a lot of anger and disappointment to this finish. I must confess that I certainly didn't see the match ending in this result, but I don’t think its necessarily a terrible mistake. I equate it to when Kobashi pinned Jun Akiyama in NOAH’s first Dome show in 2004. People’s arguments then were that Akiyama was the hottest he's ever been, and Kobashi had held the title for well over a year. However, Kobashi’s reign went on for another 8 months and he produced more classic title defences, hitting the most in Japanese history at that point (an unprecedented 13), that ultimately meant more in the long run than Akiyama winning would have. In essence, I feel like this is potentially what New Japan are going for here with Okada. Time will tell of course, but I think its much too soon to be doomsaying just yet.

On the whole, this was a truly exceptional card of action from NJPW, who never really disappoint with these big shows. Personally, I have waned on New Japan since the G1 really. This is for several reasons, most of them personal life related, but in general I feel that G1 27 was potentially the apex of modern wrestling. Shin Nihon have set the bar so high nowadays that its almost impossible to top themselves, and I feel that this is the potential problem here too. Nothing hit those sky high standards set previously (or anywhere close to Dave Meltzer’s fabled 6 star rating), so it was easy to feel disappointed by the show. Realistically, its going to take a lot to top this as card of the year.

NDT

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