#not fully sure of the canon-complicancy of that headcanon but yeah

[chompe-diem]

also ik some ppl are not the most pleased abt some consistency things like sklonda already being a practicing lawyer but tbh 1) we have no idea how long it takes in brennan's made up fantasy world how long it takes to become a lawyer and 2) it's been several real life years. it's been months since sophomore year but in real life it's been like 4 years. go off i get it king it's not a big deal

[britcision]

Alright, it’s time to talk about Lycion and dysmorphia and being a trans allegory

Because… yeah, I think a lot of people can really relate to being scared of mirrors because you hate everything you see in them, and going to extreme lengths to get a body you love

It’s not a complicated allegory

But, and I think this is pretty important and possibly more useful to the trans community than declaring him ours and trans… dysmorphia and dysphoria are not exclusive to trans people

They’re not even particularly related to any part of the body; it can be any part of it

And like 15 years ago when I was learning about trans issues and shit, I went and did a little research, because I eat knowledge. And y’know what fully settled any questions I had?

Found a case about a lady with what is currently being called body integrity/identity disorder, which is basically dysmorphia so severe that people have otherwise healthy limbs amputated to be able to live life in a body they can stand

This lady got both legs fully amputated, got a wheelchair, and became a pillar of her community where before she was almost bed bound

And y’know what, if that’s a thing that can happen and we can all agree that removing her legs was integral to her health, y’know what seems completely trivial by comparison?

Every gender affirming surgery ever

And y’know what is even more trivial?

All the other transition measures that have nothing to do with surgery, like hormones, puberty blockers, and social transitioning

Being trans has become a super political idea for basically no reason whatsoever, but it’s harder to maintain that ideology if you learn about things like dysphoria and dysmorphia as just medical conditions that absolutely anyone can get, and then look at what that means for gender dysphoria

Cuz if peoples’ brains can decide an entire limb has Got To Go then yeah, they’re probably also capable of deciding “that pronoun is Wrong” and we can take that just as seriously; it’s a much easier fix and also free

Basically I’m saying Lycion is our gateway drug cuz if you can understand this elf hates his body so hard he became a werewolf about it, are you really gonna throw a fit over someone getting a packer?

None of this to say you can’t or shouldn’t headcanon him as trans (and unless it comes directly and unambiguously from Ryoko Kui it’s a headcanon, nothing wrong with that it’s what fanon is for)

Just, y’know. Sound folks out on him without mentioning that part right away for your own safety and possibly entertainment 😁👉👉

Oh and super important: he’s not canonically cis either. Pretty sure it was just never specified. Enjoy and apply this knowledge across every character ever whose assigned birth gender isn’t brought up in canon

The thing Lycion definitely is in canon is a goddamn furry and an otherkin allegory, and arrested for awoo crimes. He’s one of only 5 characters in the Adventurer’s Bible with a stated gender (the others being Otta, Kaka, Kiki, and Inutade - everyone else has pronouns but no gendered nouns in English at least)

(Lycion’s “definitely a man” - or “definitely male” in the official translation, which technically excludes him from the gendered committee altogether)

You are, of course, welcome to disregard canon in all things you do - I personally encourage it, it’s much more fun to play in the space and do your own thing, and Dunmeshi has deliciously efficient story telling; there is so much empty space to play in

[witchimagefanfic]

Snape Asks

Do you have a snOTP? What is it?

Sure, Snape x [First name] (specifically my OC) haha

2. What do you think is Snape's favourite colour and why?

Black? Like...obviously. You think he'd wear so much of it if he didn't genuinely like it?

3. Which Disney character, according to you is most like Snape?

Scar. I don't think there's another answer.

4. Do you think Snape remained a virgin?

I hate this question. Absolutely NOT. The dude was guilty about his best friend's death, it doesn't mean he never had sex. The only way he would have is if he were fully asexual (which, to be fair, seems possible).

5. Do you think Snape ever loved anyone other than Lily, romantically or platonically?

Romantically, no. Platonically, I think he loved Dumbledore and Draco.

6. If Snape learnt another language, which would he choose?

Latin, doy.

7. Which staff member do you think gets along well with Snape?

Dumbledore. I don't think he and McGonagall were friends, despite the fluffy popular head canons. Mutual respect, sure, but not friendship. Otherwise, I don't see him hanging out with any other staff.

8. If you had to assign Snape to a house, which one would it be?

Slytherin. No question. Dude was immensely ambitious.

9. What are your personal headcanons on Snape's diet and favourite foods?

I think eating was a chore for him. He probably had one favorite meal at any given time and it was all he wanted to eat. It'd change monthly. Sometimes he'd have a bread-and-cheese month, sometimes he'd have an eggs-and-bacon month. Otherwise he'd forget to eat.

10. Do you think Snape's character has changed the way you think/feel about others?

Yeah, I mean I hate James Potter. That's more because of the Marauders stans though. What a toxic community.

11. Your favourite scenes with book/movie!Snape?

Literally every book Snape scene.

12. If you had to chose a Golden trio era student to be Snape's friend, who would it be and why?

Luna.

13. Do you think Alan Rickman contributed to your love for Snape?

Yeah, but I loved book Snape first.

14. What do you think is Snape's favourite potion to prepare?

Probably changes based on the month. Whatever's fascinating him at the moment. Something complicated and finnicky, definitely.

15. If Snape had any free time, how do you think he would spend it?

Reading, drinking wine, doing up his buttons, smoking.

16. Were you ever a Snater? How and when did you become a Snover?

God no. I have taste.

17. Do you think Snape was unhappy even after joining the DEs?

Yes, definitely. I don't think it ever gave him what he was looking for.

18. Your favourite physical feature of Snape?

Eyes.

19. According to you, what is Snape's biggest flaw?

Being a dick for absolutely no reason. Lack of chill.

20. Why do you love Snape so much?

He's powerful and brilliant and misunderstood. He's also a weird sexy feral emo boy. He's also a professor and like...sheesh.

21. What particular memory do you think Snape used to conjure his patronus?

Something with Lily obviously. Could be anything. The day they met, hanging out by the Black Lake, laughing in class. It probably changes.

22. Do you think Lily was a good friend to Severus?

Not really. Maybe when they were kids, but once she started hating his friends, there's a real sense that she thought she was too cool for him.

23. What do you think Snape wore under his robes?

Dude what? Trousers.

24. Do you think Snape ever self-harmed?

I don't think he'd see the point.

25. Is there any other character you love as much as Snape? Do you think they'll get along?

Yeah. And no, they absolutely would not get along.

26. What genre do you think Snape preferred to read?

Crime, thrillers, non-fiction, historical fiction, maybe some horror

27. Do you think Snape was close to his mother?

No. I think he was disappointed by her. But he loved her more than he loved his dad.

28. Do you think you'd like being taught by Snape?

Only if we were fucking. Otherwise, from what I've seen he seems like a pretty lazy and demanding teacher.

29. How do you headcanon Snape's bedroom would look like?

Queen bed with dark sheets, a few bookcases, a desk and reading chair.

30. If you could give young Snape any advice, what would it be?

You're better than your origins. James Potter sucks--rise above it. And don't listen to the fucking Death Eaters man, come on. Dark Arts aren't the only magical mysteries left.

31. Do you think Snape had any mental illnesses? Which ones and why?

Yeah, dude. If the guy wasn't depressed I will eat my fucking hat. He was probably anxious as hell too. Maybe on the spectrum.

32. If you could change Snape's middle name to be something other than Tobias what would you choose?

Do people have opinions on this?

33. Top 3 songs you think will show up in Snape's most played?

There Is a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths

The Killing Moon - Echo & the Bunnymen

Bela Lugosi's Dead - Bauhaus

34. Do you have any Snape NOTPs?

I hate Snape x any of the Potters. Lily, James and Harry need to back off. Haven't they put him through enough?

35. Snapey BROTPs?

No, I want my man lonely and annoyed.

36. Did Snape get sick often? Your headcanons for when he was sick?

I don't think OFTEN. He'd definitely refuse to go to the hospital wing and brew his own cures. Probably worked when he was sick too. Stubborn ass.

37. Snape didn't pay attention to his physical appearance, but if you had to choose a part he would take care of, which would it be?

I disagree, I think the dude knew how to dress. I also think he cleaned his nails.

38. Which type of weather does Snape prefer?

Gray and cool.

39. How do you think Snape spent his early childhood days?

Hiding from his dad, finding joy where he could.

40. Other than Lily, who do you think impacted Snape's life the most?

Dumbledore. I think Narcissa and Lucius did too. Probably some of his DE friends--Mulciber springs to mind.

41. Is there a side to Snape that he hasn't let anyone see? What do you headcanon this "secret personality" to be like?

I don't think he laughs in public often. I think you'd have to be really close to see that.

42. Do you think Snape cried often?

As a kid and teenager, yes. I think at some point those tears dried up though.

43. What's your favourite headcanon about Snape?

He's actually a good professor and not as ugly as Harry seems to think.

44. Is there a movie/song/book that reminds you of Snape?

Tons of songs remind me of him. Sunburn by Muse will forever be the Broken Silence anthem.

45. What mode of magical travel would suit Snape the best?

God, anything but a fucking broom.

46. Your opinion on Snape's sexuality?

Realistically, somewhere on the demi spectrum. Possibly ace. In my head he's like a dom, bi-curious brat tamer though.

47. Which of the Marauders do you think Snape could have gotten along with?

If there was ever even a SHOT it would have been Lupin. The least awful of them.

48. How many points do you think Snape would've awarded during his career?

Sounds like he awarded a lot to Slytherins. Uncountable.

49. Did you feel Snape was the "good guy" even before the reveal?

Yep. I never lost faith.

50. Do you prefer tall!Snape or short!Snape?

Tall.

51. Had Snape lived, would he continue teaching at Hogwarts?

ARE YOU JOKING? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.

[bluegekk0]

Is there anything about your au that you haven’t had the chance to talk about because it hasn’t been asked?

hm, this is a bit hard cause im pretty sure i share a lot even if not directly asked about it hahah

though i supppose a topic i might have only mentioned in passing and never talked about in detail is feral pk and his sexuality. sure, he was married to the white lady and is now together with grimm, but it's not as simple as him being bi/pan. i actually headcanon that he was closeted gay for most of his life, and in the most complicated way possible (as expected since it's pk). the marriage to wl, while they had a strong emotional bond, wasn't actually true love, not on pk's part at least. he just wasn't aware of that, as he grew up an outcast and never had a chance to explore his sexuality and feelings. when he changed forms, the white lady was one of the first beings who showed him kindness, and he enjoyed her company, so he assumed that it was love and married her

was he lying to her for the duration of their relationship? you could say that, yeah, though he wasn't fully aware of it. i think she eventually realized that he wasn't romantically or sexually into her as much as she was into him, so i imagine it was part of their divorce. though i headcanon wl as someone who's very understanding, so i don't think she would be mad at him for that. it would hurt, yes, but in the end she couldn't really fault him for it as it's something he clearly hasn't figured out himself. plus he never cheated on her (sure, there was the dalliance between him and herrah, but it clearly never went anywhere), so she had no reason to actually be angry at him

as cheesy and self indulgent as it might be, it was grimm who helped pk figure it all out, though again, it was way more complicated than it probably should have been. because pk was convinced that he and wl were in love (even if he clearly didn't know what that meant exactly), he didn't think too much of grimm's attempts to woo him, most of grimm's subtle (and not too subtle) signs fell flat as in pk's eyes they were close friends. he did feel strange around him, the weird feeling in his stomach wouldn't leave him alone for as long as grimm was in the room, but he was clueless enough to never make the connection. he didn't feel the same way around his wife, so it couldn't have been love, right? it had to be something else, maybe grimm just had that aura to him? he was a higher being after all. that's how he explained it in his head, at least. was it silly? absolutely, but his brain just works like that

he wouldn't truly connect the pieces until after the hibernation, when he had a lot of time to think back and realize how much he missed grimm. i think that's when he realized they weren't just close friends and that there was something more to their relationship, but at that point he thought it was all for nothing, as he believed he would never see grimm again (and even if he did, so much time has passed, he was convinced that grimm already forgot about him). so when he learned that grimm was still in dirtmouth, he had to take the chance and confess his feelings, and luckily for him, they were still mutual

i realize this may seem like a dig against his canon relationship with the white lady, or a cheesy attempt at making his relationship with grimm "the right one", or maybe even me being a contrarian for the sake of it, but it's not like that. i think wl is a neat character, i don't hate her, i actually love the wholesome fan content between her and pk, plus i do think they were happy together (well, until the vessel thing at least). i just think it adds another layer to feral pk and his whole thing of putting everyone else above himself. he was so occupied with his idea to create a kingdom, to help the bugs in it live the best life, to save them from potential danger, that he never took the time to think about himself, even something as obvious and simple as whom he loves. plus it goes well with the idea that by trying to be someone he really wasn't, he was lying to everyone else and causing them pain. he wasn't as great of a king as his subjects thought him to be. he wasn't as flawless as hollow saw him to be. and he didn't truly love the white lady the way she loved him. because he never figured out who he truly was, he unintentionally made everyone around him suffer. there's a lot going on in his head that might not make sense, and i think that adds more depth to him. at least for me personally

i apologize if this isn't something you were hoping for, anon, but i really wanted to talk about it cause it's been on my mind for a long time haha

[swashbucklery]

I didn't want to ask something you've already answered before, so I searched your blog but only found one brief mention about why you didn't watch it. Cool :) But i'm just curious, have you seen some of the avatrice gifs from Warrior Nun? Do they seem like a ship that might appeal to you if you had been able to finish the show? I had resisted them for awhile but finally decided to check out some of their scenes and yea, i definitely understand it now

Anon, trust me when I say I have been made fully aware of a) the existence of Warrior Nun, b) the existence of Avatrice, and c) the fact that it is full of Complicated Pseudoreligious Gay Yearning and d) that there are gifs.

I have lots of mutuals that are having a really nice time liking Warrior Nun, and I wish them all the best? It is just super not my thing, for no real reason that I can pinpoint, it's just - blah to me.

(Actually this is not true, I have a hair trigger for fake gore and there is a shot early in the pilot where like a magic thing just fucking shreds through someone's torso in visceral CGI blood spraying everywhere detail and to be honest no lesbians are worth that to me.)

I'm not sure if I'd like them outside of the context of the show, because for me those are the same thing. I don't ever get into ships just through cut scenes, I have to dive into the world those characters are in to connect.

I am still deep in the Willow hole (wocka, wocka) and will be for quite a while, because the writer's strike isn't getting any overer and it ticks literally every one of my narrative boxes as though a five year old mashed all the buttons on the elevator to my heart.

The things that are doing it for me for Willow are:

the total lack of a modern setting, so I don't have to figure out how to reconcile the new media trend of pretending all things are set in a COVID Never Happened AU despite the fact that it is the crushing shadow looming behind all of our realities, the cognitive dissonance gives me hives

(do i want dumb tv shows to tackle COVID absolutely not but it's weird that we're just like yeah in this show it's 2023 and the past 3 years were exactly like 2019 was don't uhhh worry about it)

like it's just so fucking weird IT'S SO FUCKING WEIRD and i know some of this is production cycles but we were watching the last movie in the To All The Boys series and she graduates in 2020 and I could not get it out of my head the choice!!! Like that year and date will not be indelibly linked to A Time and yet I also see how you can't change that story to include COVID and also I know how media timelines work but it is so fucked up WHY

::What A Time To Be Alive by Fall Out Boy plays softly in the background::

anyway

uh

SWORDS

the ability to have both a Canon WLW Ship as well as Several Other Fun Non-Canon WLW Ships

not one but three main characters that i have imprinted upon like the most impressionable of baby geese

complex narratives about growth and hope and fighting adversity and the way that all of those struggles are secretly love

balls to the wall dumb fantasy tropes used without a whiff of self-referential irony

the actors touch objects in the world

room to have 80 million intricate textile headcanons and play with frilly bits of worldbuilding like a 19th century dandy constructing ships in bottles

a fandom that hits the sweet spot of large enough to have steady content and community, yet small enough that i can fully curate ship drama out of my habitat

[bronanlynch]

if ur still doing the character meme: reinhard lotgh?

yessss thank u I have many thoughts abt him

Sexuality Headcanon: has never once been attracted to a woman ever in his life. tbf not sure he's ever knowingly been attracted to anyone who isn't kircheis. everything else is just. well he really wants another want to be a worthy rival/nemesis in a way that isn't not kind of erotic but like. it's not Just erotic it is also very much abt wanting to die in battle to a ~worthy opponent Gender Headcanon: so like. in canon I do think he's a cis man especially considering how strictly gendered the empire military is and he doesn't seem to have much space in his brain left over for exploring his gender. however I do sometimes enjoy rotating trans possibilities in my head and I am compelled by the thought of transmasc reinhard bc I think that. given his ambitions he knows that he needs to be in the military, which means he needs to be/pass as a man (and also given what happens to annerose I think he has specific motivation to not want to navigate the world as a women), and I do enjoy stories abt people who crossdress for plot reasons and then decide that they're trans actually A ship I have with said character: he and kircheis sure are in love A BROTP I have with said character: I am obsessed w his weird complicated friendship w hilde, how she's the closest thing he has to a friend but he doesn't fully trust her bc he doesn't fully trust anyone, her going against his orders to save his life at the end of season 2 and him thanking her but not being able to forgive him, their inevitable lavender marriage, their "butch hitting on a twink she thought was a butch" energy, A NOTP I have with said character: uncomplicatedly romantic het4het reinhard/hilda I guess? extremely important to that dynamic to me that they are a gay man and a lesbian. like I can't really see him properly dating anyone other than kircheis but like. I'm certainly not opposed or immune to any of the homoerotic potential of his relationship w like. reuental or whoever A random headcanon: I think it would be fun if he and kircheis used to cut each other's hair. y'know. the intricate rituals of it all. the intimacy & vulnerability, etc etc. trusting someone else to shape ur appearance and therefore ur public image. and that's partially of why he grows it out after kircheis dies General Opinion over said character: he's so beautiful and so sad and so terrible and I want to study him like a bug. love that he's like. not wrong that the aristocracy is bad except unfortunately he's so much a part of the society that created him that he doesn't have any other way of dealing with it except with more militarism & imperialism & autocracy which does not fix anything in the longterm and will lead to his inevitable and tragic downfall. and also I think it's funny when he makes policy decisions that help the people without seeming to actually like. especially care abt that and everyone is like "oh wow maybe dictatorships are good actually." but yeah in general I love it when characters are tragic and gay and fucked up. and also I cannot wait to see the continually unfolding consequences of letting a 24-year old with a death wish become the most powerful person in the galaxy

[high-dragon-bait]

What do half-elfs look like in your canon?

I know the game actual canon says a a child with a human parent and a elf one will have fully human ears, but I have seen plenty of people ignoring that (and I prefer that) and making their ears show their elf blood

So, what do your half-elf people's ears look like?

PS: Now that I write the last part I notice how silly this sounds

So. For me it's kind of complicated

For a long time I just did D&D style half-elves for them and sometimes I still will because I like half-elves and I'm a genetics nerd and the "human traits literally always just eat the elven traits regardless of circumstance because human traits are just THAT DOMINANT" makes my brain scream.

BUT

If we are not going by science, and are instead going by the theory that elves are made elves by some magical effect found only in elf blood that is canceled out by human blood, making all the children appear human, THEN I'm willing to play with it a little more. Right now, going off of that, this is my favorite interpretation

I'm playing with the idea that yes, physically, there are no half-elves in the Dragon Age universe, you either look elven or human and never a combo of the two AND yes, if a human and an elf have a child, it usually comes out looking human BUT. Not always, and a human can in fact give birth to an elven child

Thing is, even if the elf-blooded child is born human, that elven blood does not go away, it's still there, just "shut off." Elven blood can lay dormant in bloodlines for generations, long after it's forgotten it was ever there, until one day it "awakens" and an elven child is produced instead. This usually happens when it makes content with more elven blood (either another elf-blooded or full elven parent), which makes it "wake up" and now you have an elf to everyone's surprise. It can also be awoken through strong exposure to magic

I imagine this isn't widely known, probably very rarely studied, so most people wouldn't know this is possible.

A human giving birth to an elf actually happens twice with my Dragon Age OCs, once with Eshana, my FenHawke daughter, and it's also a factor in the backstory of my secondary Inquisitor Miris.

For Eshana, I like to headcanon that the Hawkes have some forgotten elven blood in their lineage, and when my Hawke conceived a child with Fenris, that "woke" it and she gave birth to an elven child. It also could've been caused by the strong exposure to magic theory as the Hawkes do canonically have very strong magic in their bloodline and that combined with Fenris being an elf + lyrium exposure could've also created an elf child. First version makes more sense though so we'll go with that

For Miris, part of her backstory was she was found by Clan Lavellan as a newborn abandoned near the camp. For her entire life it was assumed her birth parents were city elves that couldn't care for her, so they left her to the Dalish, but that isn't the truth. In actuality, both her parents were minor human nobles somewhere in the Free Marches. They were expecting the birth of their first heir when the wife gave birth to an elven baby. I'm sure there was some panic, and they got rid of her to hide the scandal, making up a tragic story that the baby died during childbirth. The wife SWEARS she was faithful to her husband, and she's telling the truth, as unbeknownst to them they BOTH carried elven blood and it awoke in Miris. The husband doesn't really believe her but stays with her to preserve his reputation, she may or may not have human bio siblings as I'm not sure if one child could be born an elf and others not yet. Up in the air if Miris ever figures this out but she would not want anything to do with her bio family regardless

So yeah, that's the ONLY way I can work with elf-blooded humans always look human canon. Tbh it still isn't my favorite but it has been fun to play with how this might work and what it might mean

[moraygrotto]

ik you haven't really written anything for f/ire e/mblem in a while, but I just came across an older fic you wrote about d/imitri and I was wondering if you had any burping/stuffing headcanons for him?

YES YES YES FOREVER AND ALWAYS

- i very much hc diмitri as having sensory complications surrounding food; he canonically cannot taste (and hence often doesn't seem to enjoy eating), so he must rely on texture + smell. therefore, if he comes across a food that he DOES like, it's a huge deal :3

- his crest's effects and his lifestyle make his calorie + protein needs very high. he.... does not take the best care of himself, but when he DOES eat what amounts to a healthy portion for him it's a HUGE surprise to his dining partners, like "barely can conceive that so much could fit inside a person" level sizes

- again, he has trouble telling when he is hungry and full, but as he gets older he tries to experiment with such sensations and finds that depending on what he ate, being full of solid food can feel amazingly good. i can imagine him talking to his friends almost worried to bring it up before being reassured that yeah, most people really like the food at feasts + chances to eat a lot

- his Hopes support with Вernadetta has him going out to grab dinner alone late at night, which i LOVE as a hc. as prince he's usually made to eat with other people, practice proper manners, and spend most of his attention on conversation, but esp. as he gradually learns to value self-care he in turn wants to teach himself to enjoy food, savoring + giving himself time to process the experience of eating, and letting himself relax over something that's been just another tense part of his life

- SUPER fast metabolism!! if somebody were to actually remind him to eat whenever he's hungry and provide this food, they'd have a hard time keeping up

- his stomach capacity is also MASSIVE. usually he stops eating before his stomach is all the way full, but to actually fill his belly up with a food he likes the texture of, many a plateful would vanish into him

- if he's recently returned from a trip on which rations were very limited, his hunger might take over and have him devouring huge amounts of a feast until his body feels replenished

- growing up, he didnt get the full camaraderie of boyhood (i 100% headcanon him as trans but this stands either way since he is a prince) so he never learned how to belch on command; that doesnt mean he cannot let out some beautiful burps though. if he's around people he trusts or even alone, he'll still try to be polite about it, but you can hear how deep the rumbling is from inside his belly and chest. it's actually rather easy to startle or squeeze burps out of him; poking his tummy in the right spot is an easy way to get an unexpectedly majestic burp + one very blushy embarrassed boy

- he CANONICALLY likes watching fеlix eat in hopes oh my god. i think that's a common trait in faеrghus as a whole (esp since both уuri and sуlvain love watching īngrid eat) so if someone actually showed interest in watching diмitri fill himself up he would feel so loved!! even if he didnt enjoy the food he would make sure to eat plenty if it would make his dining partners happy

- that being said, he has trouble sensing when he's full, so if he ever really committed to eating a lot he probably would not stop until he was in physical pain 😢 he'd reluctantly accept help at that point especially if it inhibited his ability to stand up and move around

- not fully a kink hc but in spite of his hesitation toward food he loves hot drinks; anything with a nice smell like chamomile is good, plus its a personal hc of mine that he enjoys richer drinks like hot cocoa; he really appreciates the thickness + the feeling that something substantial is sliding down his throat. having a belly full of warm liquid is something really easy to feel + be pleased by; after a long day in the cold he likes being so effortlessly full and warmed

- hard turn from the last bullet point but his body is quite resistant to poison; chances are if you feed him something poisoned he won't throw it up but will just process it fully, enduring its effects while his digestive system churns it through.

- patting his back/chest and kneading his tummy WILL help him get burps up so well. if he's genuinely comfortable enough to let someone take care of him this WILL work

[zanzibarhamster]

Big Boss, The Boss, Kazuhira Miller, Ocelot

AYYYY THIS TOOK LONGER THAN I THOUGHT. deleting the ‘thing that gives me secondhand embarrassment’ section bc i don’t really get that.

BIG BOSS

SEXUALITY: bisexual but it’s complicated because life circumstances haven’t really allowed him much exploration of sexuality. he’s the type of bisexual that’s consistently into one type of person (charismatic, strong-willed, independant, preferably good with guns) across genders.

OTP: bbkaz ofc but i do have several other ships (eva, roy, and python mostly).

BROTP: not sure if the boss counts as a ‘bro’ but their relationship is v important to me. if not bb+amanda is extremely underrated and very cute.

NOTP: paz but that’s not really a thing thankfully

FIRST HEADCANON THAT POPS INTO MY HEAD: he has perfect pitch but it’s completely wasted on him bc he has zero interest in or experience with music. he also doesn’t even know it’s a thing until kaz tries to tune his guitar for like ten minutes then goes to leave with it and bb is like “you know it’s still way off right” and when kaz sits back down to fix it, proceeds to half-assedly whistle him reference pitches while laying on his cot reading some book about military strategy. kaz shakes his head and is just like… yeah you WOULD be the one in ten thousand guy who can do this.

FAVORITE LINE: ohhh boy I have a lot, but “i was made to fight, i am a gun” and “no… the world is better off without snakes” are two top contenders that come to mind. also his entire mg2 speech.

WAY IN WHICH I RELATE: i’m also awkward with people, unfortunately unlike him i’m not inspiring enough to make up for it

CINNAMON ROLL OR PROBLEMATIC FAVE: hoo boy this meme is old isn’t it. problematic fave ofc but i do think he’s complex and that’s his entire appeal.

THE BOSS

SEXUALITY: bisexual but in a ‘considers herself straight and thinks of lesbian stuff as bosom friends’ kind of way because time period. she’s mostly uninterested in romance, it tends to find her rather than the other way around.

OTP: on one level i ship both strangeboss and joysorrow but on the other i have a hard time seeing either be truly requited on her end bc i headcanon she puts her country first to the point of it being detrimental to her personal relationships. strangeboss is also weird and complicated because the part of me that loves strangelove wants them to get married and be happy, the part of me that’s a canon purist acknowledges the reality that she talked to strangelove like she was someone else (implied to be jack) and like a child (so if that was a romantic conversation it has uncomfortable implications for the boss and jack’s relationship). so like… i love strangeboss but i feel like i am lying to myself if i think of it as being fully requited rather than a sort of very romantically charged friendship in which they toed the gay line real closely and that’s precisely why it fucked strangelove up the way it did.

BROTP: again not exactly bro but big boss. they mean so much to me.

NOTP: iiiiii don’t love seeing content of her with big boss bc they met when he was a kid and he flat out says she was like his mother, but i can’t exactly begrudge people who ship them on top of that bc there are some lines in canon with Uncomfortable Implications. none of it is concrete and it’s all ambiguously interpretable so i personally choose not to acknowledge it but like… it’s there.

FIRST HEADCANON THAT POPS INTO MY HEAD: ocelot was a drunken semi-mistake (her and sorrow were hooking up but generally used condoms) that she kept secret for as long as possible for fear her country would take the one thing she wanted for herself. she was only sent to normandy because they needed her that badly and she agreed to get a third trimester abortion but didn’t show up to get it. she didn’t exactly have a plan for how she was going to care for this baby given he was definitely going to be born in an active war zone but she did love him and intended to keep him.

FAVORITE LINE: i. feel like her entire end of mgs3 speech is such a cliche answer but it’s so fucking good.

WAY IN WHICH I RELATE: absolutely none lol

CINNAMON ROLL OR PROBLEMATIC FAVE: hard call but i’m going with problematic fave bc she very much died to perpetuate the military industrial complex and everyone in mgs is problematic except sunny.

KAZUHIRA MILLER

SEXUALITY: bisexual and it’s not complicated. he knows what he likes and goes after it, though men with a lot more caution because time period. he’s the kind of bisexual that’s into different types for men and women. women, adoring ones that will pander to his ego preferably with big tits, although spicy slap-slap-kiss types are a runner up. men, jock types with nice pecs and a tight ass. he’s a horny bastard tho so he’s often willing to take whatever he can get.

OTP: bbkaz, though i also ship vkaz (fucked up only, not fluff) and kazeva. bb/kaz/eva underrated tbh.

BROTP: solid snake? again not a bro exactly but i’m very invested in their mentorship in all of its half genuine but also using him as a tool glory.

NOTP: nothing i hate, just stuff i can’t see happening

FIRST HEADCANON THAT POPS INTO MY HEAD: he had pretty wild college years bc as soon as he didn’t have the constant responsibility of being a caretaker for his mom and was all by himself in a college environment, he exploded the other way with all the recklessness, irresponsibility, and rebellion he wasn’t able to have before. this included doing all the drugs available during peak hippie years and finding out he’s bisexual under the influence. i don’t disagree with the common headcanon that he’d go right for drugs if they were offered to him, i just hc he got most of that out of his system before he even made it to colombia. pot, LSD, shrooms, obetrol, amphetamine inhalers, etc. fun facts amphetamines were not illegal until 1970, you could just fucking buy amphetamine inhalers for allergies over the counter and a mixture of adderall and meth (obetrol) was widely sold as a prescription diet pill. anyway i don’t think coke would be his first rodeo.

FAVORITE LINE: “loneliness is something that seeps into the cracks of your heart, boredom is what causes those cracks to appear” in mg2. the implications hurt so much.

WAY IN WHICH I RELATE: high five for childhood bullying and being an endless fountain of trivia about things like the history of amphetamines.

CINNAMON ROLL OR PROBLEMATIC FAVE: problematic fave lmfaooooooo. he’s complex and i love him but imo fandom often latches onto his more sympathetic qualities while downplaying the terrible ones.

OCELOT

SEXUALITY: gay as all fuck. despite time period he’s fine with it, he knows he’s a deviant.

OTP: i’m not emotionally invested but ocelot being in love with big boss is just a fact. like the *straightest possible interpretation* for his actions is an asexual with a lifelong soul-deep obsession, and imo that is a stretch with the russian tuant and comparing himself to quiet.

BROTP: i wish we’d seen him and zero working together more, i feel like the dynamic would have been super interesting. patriots era game when.

NOTP: nothing i particularly hate

FIRST HEADCANON THAT POPS INTO MY HEAD: he’s a sadomasochist, in addition to the sadism he also gets off on getting hurt himself, but only by someone he carefully vets first. he is also super into bloodplay. i don’t read much ocelot fic but i would be surprised if this isn’t a common one.

FAVORITE LINE: “you’re pretty good” being his last words in mgs4 always gets me

WAY IN WHICH I RELATED: hahaha no

CINNAMON ROLL OR PROBLEMATIC FAVE: cinnamon roll, ocelot has never done anything wrong in his life ever, all the backstabbing and terrorism and brainwashing and torture and possible rape was a long series of unfortunate misunderstandings. he’s actually a PTA mom at his dog’s school, does pilates on the weekend, and volunteers at his local church.

[hyperfixation-or-death]

headcanon time! >:)

Anyways what if when Sam called Bilal his best friend (when he was talking to Lieutenant Retz), what if that was. the first time he had actually verbally expressed that.

 Because, yeah, they've canonically been friends for a while, but Sam also has a theme going on of not saying things until it's too late.

 With Romane, he only verbalized his feelings for her after the whole mess with the timelines had forever changed what their relationship would have/could have been.

With Victor, he only expressed his guilt over not defending him to their parents after Victor was already deep in an emotional spiral that words alone couldn't pull him out of.

And so, what I'm currently thinking, is that Bilal definitely considers Sam to be his best friend, but just doesn't really mention it, because Sam hasn't, so he think it's just like. An unspoken thing.

Meanwhile, Sam also considers Bilal to be his best friend, but he is Very Unsure over whether that's a mutual thing, because "what if Bilal is actually closer to Romane or Victor, and I just didn't notice, or what if he just considers us all to be equally close friends, which makes sense, and now I feel bad for trying to make rankings out of it. but then again, Bilal is actually the person I'm closest to-" and he just keeps overthinking it for years.

But then he loses all three of them in an instant, and suddenly it's "why didn't I tell Romane how I felt," and "why didn't I say anything when Victor needed me to," and before he can think anything else, he has to talk to the police, and then Lieutenant Retz is asking him if he's okay, and he doesn't think before answering. Because he's not okay, and his brother is gone, and his close friend/first crush is gone, and his best friend is gone, and-

And then it hits him. Bilal is his best friend, and he never told him that. And now he might never see him again.

But he does. He reunites with Bilal, then with Romane and Victor. And even if the whole situation is complicated, having all four of them in one place brings back a sense of security that he hadn't fully realized was missing, and he lets himself think that things are somewhat fine, because he had always been good at avoiding conflict, hadn't he?

Then Victor supernaturally ages Romane's stepfather half to death, and, well. maybe he and Victor were both holding onto a bit more than he'd previously thought.

And with everything that follows, it's isn't until after the finale that he lets himself think about how he really does have a habit of leaving things unsaid, and how he needs to stop doing that. (before it's too late again, before Victor ends up hating him, before he loses his friends to some other tragedy, before he loses everything all because he couldn't spit some stupid words out in time-)

So he's like. okay. i am going to mention to Bilal that he's my best friend at the first opportunity.

What actually ends up happening, though, is that the four of them are hanging out, and Victor is going on a tangent about how, "Romane, I would die and kill for you in a heartbeat, but i don't think our friendship can survive if you don't give me the bag of chips back" except he's starting to forget about the chips in favor of going into dramatic detail about the hypothetical crimes he would commit for her.

Around the third hypothetical felony, Sam tells him that he's pretty sure they all get the point. As Romane finally hands Victor the chips with a grin, Victor makes a face at his brother, and informs him that, "you're just jealous that i'm clearly Romane's favorite."

When Romane just grins wider, and doesn't deny it, Sam gapes at her in mock outrage. "You could at least try to deny it."

Bilal, with an (obviously fake) offended expression, half-heartedly complains that they're not supposed to pick favorites.

"Mhm." Romane nods. "Bilal, remind us, who's your best friend out of the three of us?"

"Hm...point taken."

"Wait, what was her point?" Sam frowns.

Victor rolls his eyes. "The point is that you're his best friend. Which leaves me as Romane's, and vice-versa."

"Oh." And before he can stop the question with the now-obvious answer- "I'm your best friend?"

"Sam, you already knew that." There's a pause. "Wait, you did know that, right?"

"I mean, I knew you were my best friend, I didn't know I was your best friend-"

Victor hits him with a pillow. "You're making this sound more sad the longer you talk."

Sam opens his mouth to respond, but Victor just hits him in the head with the pillow again, which is basically a declaration of war.

The ensuing chaos involves human shields, accidentally spilled chips, an excessive amount of dramatically flopping over, and what he's pretty sure was Romane freezing time just to mess with them.

And Sam thinks that he's so glad that they all made it out okay, that out of every version of his life that exists, he ended up with one where the four of them still have each other.

(And that, at least, can go safely unspoken; they already know.)

[poquito-burrito]

Naruto for the fandom ask thing :>

YAY this is so fun!! thanks for the ask bestie, you chose an immaculate fandom to ask me about haha <3 alright here goes :

3 male characters I love:

Itachi (always)

Naruto, me little baby

Sasuke, me little emo baby

3 female characters I love :

Tsunade, me strong girl 1

Kushina, even tho we didn't get to see her long, man do I love her

Temari, me strong girl 2

3 romantic ships I love:

Jiraiya and Tsunade, this ship had me like "break my heart. Not it's okay break it. Go ahead. BREAK IT NOW."

Sasuke and Sakura

Naruto and Sasuke, duh

3 platonic relationships I love :

Also Naruto and Sasuke

Kakashi and his students

Hashirama interacting with litteraly anyone

3 favorite canon moments:

Naruto returning to fight Pain, like I remember it being the last scene of the episode, and Naruto appears, cape on, senin-mode on, on top of Gamabunta, after being gone for SO long and having us wait for idk how many episodes for him to come and fight Pain and I just got the biggest chills of my life seeing him appear on that battlefield

Itachi dying, because it's so sad yet so iconic; and this is Kishimoto's genius bc the first time I watched Itachi die I was so happy it'd finally happened, and then like 2 episodes later I wanted to rip my heart out of my chest thinking of that scene. Kishimoto had us fully hate a character then WORSHIP him in the blink of an eye I just-

Kakashi dying, even tho it was only for a little while and he came back, that death WRECKED me, I remember pulling an all nighter because I just kept wanting to know what was gonna happen but I couldn't finish the arc that night so I finished it at my best friend's the next day and it was like standing underneath waterfall of emotions seeing him die and come back in the span of 12 hours

3 favorite headcanons :

I don't really have headcanons (?), But I do think Naruto's chakra smells like ramen probably. I just made this up idk seems legit

3 things I hate about it :

Kaguya. Now I know that the production was complicated and Kishimoto needed to retire bc he'd been burning out for what, 20years? So the ending was rushed and stuff, and I still love Naruto to death, but Kaguya represents the trope I hate the most ever I think. It's the "bigger badder older" trope where as the story goes on, you discover that oop there's actually a bigger and older villain, and then another..etc, and I hate this because there's no build-up, and no NUANCE whatsoever with the storytelling. Itachi's story is magnificent bc there's so much complexity and greyness surrounding it, he had to save the world but it was strategically thought-out and carefully built, whereas that whole last arc was like "quick! Gotta save the world bc this bigger older badder alien villain wants to destroy it!" man eat a dick

The war. It was bound to happen, there had to be a Shinobi war and I'm not fully hating on that arc, but it was a long arc. I think it was well managed tho, there were some moments of reprieve like Edo tensei Itachi fighting off Kabuto, and Kabuto's backstory episodes, and the Hokages returning, etc. But still, it felt convoluted at times and the fact that a WAR happened and only Neji died (I swear I love Neji okay I cried) was so disappointing to me. I know it's a shonen, but seriously characters need to be killed off or else there are no stakes. I was barely afraid for any of the characters bc I knew no one would die. I think this is a problem not only in Naruto but in so much of the storytelling surrounding us. Just kill off characters guys it's great, look at George RR Martin, I'm sure he has a masterclass on the many many creative ways there are to kill people

Boruto. Need I say more? I know it's not technically part of Naruto, but it's canon in the Naruto universe so. Yeah. Boruto. Big nono.

[protectchara201x]

(ignoring all the other juicy Deltarune 2 stuff to shove Chara Talks into it lololol)

I haven’t been super active on this blog because frankly I have like, three? looong analysis/theorycrafting posts I’ve been putting off working on and it fills me with shame to log in and see them waiting in my drafts.

But.

With the release of Deltarune Chapter 2, I wanted to talk kinda in general about how I thought it could impact the fandom’s perception of Everybody’s Favorite Demon Baby, and also point out something in specific about the Weird Route that might connect back to Undertale.

Putting it under the cut to avoid spoilers and long-winded ramblings for the unwilling. Includes spoilers for the Weird Route.

(NOTE: may update later if I notice more things for to put in section II. I’d like to make a full list of parallels if I can tidy them up.)

I. Pre- vs Post-Release Thoughts (you can skip down to II if you don’t care, it is genuinely Long and Pointless)

Okay, so first off. I got SO worried like, the day before the new chapter dropped? It hit me that whatever new stuff we got out of this, people would connect back to Undertale, and. Honestly, I really do hate connecting everything back to Chara, because I do think of Kris as their own character and I really like them and don’t want to ignore everything they got going on. But, I am first and foremost a shameless Chara stan and they’re very important to me, so I kinda... did spend a few minutes reeling from all the new DR stuff as its own stuff, and then immediately started thinking about how this would reflect back on Chara in Undertale lol.

But that’s ok for me to do here because this is my All Chara, Only Chara, All The Time blog, so I am gonna only really talk about Deltarune here to talk about them lol.

So yeah, I started getting anxious beforehand worrying about how everyone would take any and all implications and apply it to mean “aha, Chara IS evil!” The fakeout with the pie reveal in the anniversary stream was a big relief, but I still got worried leading up to the release about what could be in it.

Because part of why I’ve always thought that “Chara was genuinely evil from the start” and even “ok maybe not TOTALLY evil, but Chara was still a kinda bad person” were unlikely was, even if you throw out all the other popular Chara-sympathetic theories. To me, both these takes just seemed too below TF’s talent and the way he wrote all his other characters with depth and love; a Chara like the one these theories propose just doesn’t belong in a world created by TF, and the way the Dreemurrs talk about them overall, the way TF made a point of having Chara say they were guided and repeatedly, correctly blame you the player for the destruction in Kill-All, I was sure that he never intended them to ever be as bad as the fandom sometimes tried to make them out to be.

... Like, mostly sure. Like, 80% sure? Because he never ever talks about them, so it’s impossible say for sure, and it is still theoretically possible that “Chara was and is bad” was the cold-ass take he’d intended all along. So yeah, leading up to the release, I started getting antsy that whatever new lore came out of it, either he’d directly confirm “Chara was a villain?” “*cocks gun* Always has been” or there’d be something that’d at least heavily implicate them, or could be twisted to implicate them, as a negative force. More ammo to be used against them in the Chara Debate Circles would be a drag, and outright confirmation of them as a villain would honestly break my heart and I’d be forced to disown Toby Fox, My Beloved Cool Dad.

And, right now? Tell the truth, I’m SO relieved and I am SO happy. And not just because of how much depth and characterization it seems Kris is getting! (imo, because rn I just headcanon them as an unhappy teen desperately trying to keep their new friends going on adventures with them and trying to fight back against the player’s control)

I love how this chapter seems to be TF doing course-correcting based on fandom interpretations. Because Kris just isn’t evil, even if they are a knife teen, even if they are the Knight, they’re just NOT evil and that’s canon, baybeeee; it’s made clear in this chapter and the previous one that they love their family even outside of the player’s control, they care about their new friends even outside of the player’s control, they’re established as a weird creepy kid but no one sees them as scary or evil, they’re just Kris, and even in the Weird Route, TF made a point of hammering in the differences between Kris and the player in the Weird Route: Susie and Ralsei notice how distressed Kris seemed after you have Noelle ice Berdly, Noelle heard a voice that she said wasn’t Kris telling her to kill, and the FUCKING Spamton fight: “Kris called for help... but nobody came” again and again, and then “You whispered Noelle’s name”... you, not Kris.

I know TF has never commented much on fans’ perceptions of Frisk and Chara, or who exactly is pulling strings in different routes. But after all this, and especially after seeing all the little winks and nods to fandom jokes in this chapter (what comes to mind: pulling everyone’s leg by seeming to have Kris attack Toriel with a knife only to reveal that pie theory was right, Susie not liking Ralsei’s real face as much as his shadowed one, Ralsei with a gun getting referenced with the ad, Kris getting a joke fixation with knives after the fans made Chara and Kris have knife obsessions as a joke), and seeing what looks like him try to correct some things (what stuck out to me was doubling down on showing that Kris is loved and valued in their family: lots of fans came away from Chapter 1 thinking that Kris was not valued as much as Asriel, but here we see that Toriel is supportive of Kris’ friendship with Susie, and it’s stated that Asriel is the one who used the crappy controller, not Kris) -

I think while he hasn’t commented directly, while he admitted to being overwhelmed by Undertale’s success, while he tends to be pretty tight-lipped about the lore (whether that’s because it’ll be addressed by future chapters or because he prefers to let fans sleuth it out), this chapter convinced me that Toby does keep tabs on fan reactions in Deltarune, so he probably does with Undertale too and would know about all The Discourse surrounding Little Mx Pink Cheeks (and in turn, popular theories like Narrator Chara... Toby if you integrate Narrator Chara into Deltarune being a borderline creepypasta and have the narrator start talking directly to the characters or to the player or the characters start talking to the narrator I will lose my damn B E A N S).

(Kris and Chara not being demonized and the narrator interacting directly with the characters were the only two things on my wishlist going in, I was fine with literally anything else happening lmao)

I even kinda think he’s going out of his way to separate Kris and the player because we didn’t get it before with Undertale, we still insisted that Frisk or Chara was the one doing it, and he’s even using Kris to show that even if this kid can be scary, maybe even mean, and maybe they’re even the Knight (with their reasons unknown), they’re still not a bad kid, they’re still funny and likable, and they still genuinely love their family and friends - which falls in line with Undertale’s cast of complex but likable people who can be antagonists and make mistakes but still aren’t truly bad people, and imo is a direct response to some people fixating on the idea that Chara was always evil because they seem scary/complicated.

... Which is a long way to say that I came out of Deltarune with my confidence fully restored about TF’s intentions with Chara and Kris. Even if he never comments on Chara directly, now I really don’t think TF thinks they’re evil or ever intended for them to be. Deltarune convinced me more than ever that Chara is meant to be complex, yes, and able to be influenced to do horrible things, but they were never intended to be as malicious or shallow as some fans insist.

TLDR:

Toby Fox read your mean fanfiction where Chara is a bad abusive serial killer no one likes, and he made Deltarune in revenge.

... Hm? Ah, you’d like me to get to the point! Right this way!

II. Undertale, Deltarune, and The Point

While no doubt some will still take the voice Noelle hears to be Chara influencing her to turn her into a murderer (I haven’t gone looking for it yet, but I’m sure it’s already a thing because I know this fandom), since it’s made too clear by the game that they can’t blame Kris for this one, I think at this point that’s just being too stubborn to consider other ideas.

If you believe in the totally made up idea used in so many fanfics that Chara is an evil spirit trying to whisper in Frisk’s ear to kill everyone, literally (for some reason) the embodiment of raising stats, and gets more control over people who have increased LV to take over their body... sure. Could be them, they did talk about moving on to the next world and all. I mean, that wouldn’t really make sense because it’s literally never implied in the actual game that Chara encourages you to kill outside of the Kill-All Run or even wants you to, certainly not as the narrator and we get no hint of them doing this as an unseen, unheard third-party either.

Not to mention they’re NOT literally possessing you because of increased LV; they don’t control you even with high LV in any Undertale route other than arguably the Kill-All, and if you fail the Kill-All and it turns into a high-body count Neutral, Chara suddenly stops using first-person narration and showing up in mirrors entirely even though they were showing themself before, the LV remains the same or even can get raised as high as LV 19, nor do they suddenly take over in any other Neutral runs. We can speculate on why (personally, I’d place this either on Chara’s mindset, such as them sinking into shock from the trauma or becoming more assertive as the player feeds their megalomania, or as a sign of Frisk’s withdrawal, leaving Chara alone in the body to take the reins and act out the player’s orders), but canonically, no, Chara does not take over due to high stats.

In fact, there’s even more evidence against this. First-person narration also exists for fleeing your battles in Undertale, even on Pacifist runs with base stats, 0 EXP, and an LV of 1. Since Chara is established to use first-person narration to refer to themself, is the only one who canonically does so, and is confirmed to be present even in all runs through their name and memories always showing up, it seems pretty likely that Chara can take control to flee battle. That means an increase in stats is not a sign of their presence or control, in Undertale or Deltarune.

The most damning blow to the idea that Chara is the voice corrupting Noelle are the lines in the fight with Spamton I mentioned. Kris called for help, but nobody came. You whispered Noelle’s name. Well hold on. If that’s Chara, shouldn’t it be “I whispered Noelle’s name”? As soon as you’ve officially started the Kill-All in Undertale, Chara starts up their “It’s me, Chara” schtick right away, right there in Toriel’s home in the first area, and if they weren’t the narrator before, they’re beginning to speak through the narration now. If the voice was Chara, surely Toby Fox knows it’d be a way bigger “oh shit” moment if the creepy scary hidden route once again switched into first-person, scaring us the same way he did before when we first saw “It’s me, Chara” and knew something was wrong; unfairly or not, their reputation as a villain is still well established and hinting to Chara’s presence with a simple “I” would drive the menace even further, if he intended for them to simply be a demon that possesses player characters when you grind enough. But it’s still just you. The player.

The Weird Route does even more to help Chara’s case than that. Not only is it made pretty clear that Kris and the player are separate, and the player is the one responsible for corrupting Noelle and making her kill... consider how similar Noelle and Chara are, in the Weird Route and the Kill-All Route.

This “voice” that “guides” them in growing strong, compelling them to kill everyone in order to fight for them, eventually driving them to murder people they know. Chara calls themself “the demon that comes when people call its name”, and you whisper Noelle’s name to have her appear to kill Spamton. Noelle’s conflicting emotions towards Kris and the voice as she is manipulated, as she becomes more violent and sadistic, as she goes into shock; does that not sound like Chara, who flipflops between holding you dear as their partner and wanting to move on to the next world together, to be together forever, and them being disgusted by your refusal to accept consequences and the perverse enjoyment you get in killing everyone again and again? Chara, who clings to their quirky narration for much of the Kill-All, but keeps slipping up, who becomes terrifyingly cold, aggressive, power-hungry, and even sadistic, yet still calls Undyne “the heroine”, still seems to still care about their locket, still has moments where they seem to falter?

Noelle does put up significantly more resistance to the voice’s commands than Chara does, and at least much more visibly shows distress and trauma. I don’t think this is a black mark on Chara’s chara-cter either, or an indication of them being more violent or cruel.

For one, while Noelle is still herself with her own soul, it is heavily implied by Chara, Flowey, and Undertale’s lore that Chara was reincarnated without their own soul, at best perhaps attached to Frisk’s (or yours): as I speculate in one of my currently unfinished theories, while monster souls are made up of love, compassion, and hope and thus Asriel was reincarnated without these qualities, it could well be that human souls are correspondingly made up of their own multiple traits, namely determination, patience, bravery, integrity, perseverance, kindness, and justice; if true, a soulless Chara would be lacking these qualities, which would make them less equipped to resist the player’s commands or to feel as torn up about it.

Also, the player has a hold on them both as “party members” to the player’s vessels, but it is also possible that the player naming Chara and having them directly attached to Frisk also gives them a stronger connection to Chara they can abuse, similar to how Kris and Frisk (as the player’s direct vessels) have much less autonomy than Kris’ party members.

(Fun observation: We know that when the thing controlling Kris forced Noelle into becoming a killer and using her to kill Berdly, Kris was horrified and shaken-up according to Susie and Ralsei. How do you think Frisk felt watching Chara be used to slaughter the Underground and then erasing the world when they’re totally corrupted?)

And lastly... look, Noelle and Chara are both minors, but Chara is significantly younger - a small child compared to Noelle’s teen. I know it’s fiction and strong wills and determination and anime is real and all, but a traumatized young child who died two violent and awful deaths back-to-back, may have literally experienced being a corpse in their own coffin/grave for who knows how long, and then came back ”confused” only to immediately start hearing a voice relentlessly commanding them to kill everyone?? I can absolutely see a traumatized kid shutting down and just going with it out of fear at first, before the LV sets in.

TLDR:

What you do to Noelle in the Weird Route is the same fucking thing you do to Chara in the Kill-All Route.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 5th, 2021

How exactly can we get the option to gift cove a bracelet at the start of step 3? I really only get that option with having a ponytail-black shirt-black pants-no accessories cove but i dont know the specific requirements for the option to show up

Cove’s gotta wear a bracelet in Step 2. If he doesn’t it means him liking bracelets isn’t a very long-standing trait and so the MC wouldn’t think to get him one as a gift.

I am very sorry if this was asked before but I have noticed "Our Life: Beginnings and Always" and "Our Like: Now and Forever." Did I miss something? Is "N&F" going to be a sequel or DLC? Are we going to see a geriatric Cove? (haha) Thank you in advance for the reply. ^_^ 

Our Life: Now & Forever is a new game in the franchise, but it’s not a sequel. It’ll have a new cast, new story, and new setting. It will still have all the best features of the original game and be about creating your own character/growing up from childhood!

Is there a specific reason why Cove gets so flustered and has to jump out if bed and walk it off when they share a bed in step 3? It seems a bit over the top for something they've already done twice! Once with the late night visit when Cove finds out his mom is coming and once in the RV.

Is just because they are older and the implications are different, even though the crush was already there in the RV/latenight visit scenes? Or did I miss something that made Cove more reluctant or more apprehensive towards sharing a bed/touching?

Sharing a bed with the person he likes/love is different for him at eighteen than it is at thirteen. Some things get easier when you grow up, like he’s more comfortable sharing food, but some things get harder/more complicated to him. Sharing a bed is one of those for Cove. It feels a lot more intimate and meaningful as time goes on, rather than less of a big deal.

Hello! First, I wanted to thank you and congratulate you for this amazing game. I enjoyed every single second! In a year full of stress, this was a little cozy light. Do you have any plans to make it available for other languages? Thank you again 💕 

Thank you! I’m afraid the game is still in pretty active development so we can’t consider translating the script in it’s semi-incomplete form. And we’re not a big enough company that we can promise translations will definitely come when the game is done, unfortunately. We can see what things are like when all the words are truly set, though.

Did Cove's name come from that Cove restaurant on Holden beach? Whenever I search up his name I always get those results haha 

No, haha. His first name was based on his character and the game’s theme, his last name is a reference to something of a personal joke.

Will the NSFW DLC have CGs too?

Yep!

So, to start off, I need to thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, for creating Cove Holden. I want every single one of my MCs to be able to get engaged and married to that precious angel, so I was wondering how transitioning into step 4 using save files will work? Will I be able to load up a save file saved right before the end credits after step 3, or will I need to load one from before the transition section after step 3? I’m sorry if this has already been answered somewhere, but if it has, I haven’t been able to find it. Thank you!!!!!! 

Thank you very much c:. You’ll be able to load any save file, unless it was taken as the credits were actually rolling, and the Step 4 epilogue will simply start going once you’ve played through whatever was left of the main game and seen the credits. There are rare cases where a save file breaks between updates, but generally continuing where you left off should work for people.

Hi! I absolutely adore our life, and I was wondering is there a way to have Shiloh remember the MC and Lizzie in step 3?

I’m glad you like it! Sadly, no matter what you do Shiloh will act the same in that scene.

Hi! I'm the Australian that asked about ever including an Aussie VA, do you have any future plans for Our Life 2 or any other games to include an Aussie character and VA? 

Right now we don’t have any guaranteed future Aussie roles. But we don’t have fully developed character lists for our upcoming games yet, so that may still change.

Will OL2 also follow the tradition of "Blonde Adult That We Cannot Date"? 👀

Haha, maybe. There isn’t one right now, however we still have a lot of side characters to plan.

Hey, are the houses in the game furnished based on items in the Sims 4? I’ve noticed some similarities, but I’m not sure if it’s just a coincidence. (If it is, that’d make me building it in TS4 MUCH easier...)

For me, I use real world pictures as references as well as text notes. I loved Sims 2 when I was young but haven’t gotten into a new Sims game since. I don’t believe the artist checks Sims 4 when creating their work, though it’s not impossible. Maybe they do.

is it possible to still get your name in the voiced dlc [I'm not sure how you would do it, is it from patreon ??] or is it too late ?? 

Currently there’s no way to get your name voiced. But we are looking into opening up a method for that one more time later this year. You can keep an eye out for that!

Will we be able to ask Derek out to the dance if we get his DLC? Not a Derek fan but I'm planning to surprise my friend with this 

Yeah. Taking Derek to the dance is part of his DLC.

Hi! I have a question I've been curious about, if you're comfortable with answering! If Cove and the MC remain just friends into Step 4/MC dates one of the other guys, will Cove canonically be in a relationship with/interested in somebody else at that point or shortly after? Thank you!

He won’t. There’s not really anyone in his school, and certainly not the neighborhood he grows up in, that he’d be into other than the MC. As a pretty newly independent adult he hasn’t had enough time to truly find a special someone in Step 4. It takes a while for him to make that kind of move, haha. It’s totally fine to headcanon that sometime after Step 4 he finds love with someone else, but it won’t happen in-game.

i just wanted to share this cute little playlist that i made about cove! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5wM7GNiJh5eRqhvLBperfQ?si=4FocdBsNTpeF053yOwaLSA

Cool! Thanks for sharing it with us.

No, no, no create longer ask answers please. 😌

The ask answers are not too long. If anything I'm greedy and wish they were longer... I'm already subbed to your guys patreon and I still can't get enough 👀 I'm in love with you guys 

Will you post more of those long form ask posts? I love them 🥰

Haha, thank you for these messages. I’m glad you’re enjoying the content.

——————————————————————

Thank you very much for all the questions! Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[ohgodimyearning]

do uhhh as many of those nonhuman asks as you want for your boy :) - @lc-39a

omg okay.... here's all the ones i could think of stuff for (which was most of them)! :~)

Here's his ref sheet for, well, reference on what he looks like (if anyone *doesnt* know)

Can your F/O pass as human?

nope! he is very clearly non-human but sometimes people think he's a guy in a costume if that counts for anything

Is your F/O one of a kind (like Frankenstein’s Monster) or part of a species (like werewolves)?

mostly unique? like he's like a toy-to-life and there's paris clockboy and one or two OCs i have that are the same "species" but they're rare

Can your F/O shapeshift?

no

Does your F/O have supernatural powers?

no but i think he'd have some sort of magical abilities

Does your F/O fit into a society? If not human society, do they have a different community they belong to?

sorta? it's somewhat complicated and i havent worked everything out yet but the short of it is he lives in the park mainly but occasionally leaves for various reasons (even prior to dating a human)

How did you and your F/O meet?

still working on this one

Are you and your F/O different species?

yeah (im human lol)

Are there complications in your relationship due to your F/O not being human?

not particularly

Is your F/O a danger to your or others?

he is the literal opposite of dangerous

Does your F/O have any interesting physical features?

well. he's a clock so like. his face is Not human and it's cute and i want to kiss it forever. also his chest has little doors on it that can open for maintenance/care. and his body is like, a big marionette kind of body

Is your F/O jealous and/or possessive?

nope but he is protective

Is your F/O canonically nonhuman, or is that a headcanon/original idea of yours? If it is an original idea, how did you come up with it?

canonically nonhuman but he's a fan character so i guess it's an original idea too? and i love objectheads so :~)

Do you have any human AUs for your F/O?

no

What do people tend to think when they see/meet your F/O? Are they scared, curious, or can they not tell your F/O is nonhuman?

curious more than anything, i think. since he's a theme park character i think people would think he's fun too :-)

What does your F/O think of humans in general?

LOVES US

If you are human, how does your F/O feel about having a human partner? If you are not human, how does your F/O feel about your species?

in my selfship canon for all this, im his first human partner (but definitely not his first partner ever) so he's like. Nervous a lot of the time about various human quirks (like it took him a while to fully understand what sleeping is -- he doesnt *need* sleep but he now does it from time to time; he doesnt eat food but always tries to make sure im not hungry. stuff like that)

also i think he's like how soft i am since humans are soft in comparison to him ... he'd like to squish my tummy :~)

If given the chance to be human for a day, would your F/O do it? How would that experience be for them?

honestly dont know but this is definitely something im going to use to fuel daydream stuff............. would likely be a shrek 2 scenario lol (he thinks being human would help me but i love him as he is, that sorta thing)

Is there a significant size difference between you and your F/O? How does that effect your relationship?

im 5'9" and he is 7" tall... 😳 only effects more intimate scenarios (like sleeping in the same bed n stuff like that)

Are there challenges in having a physical relationship with your F/O due to their species?

his mouth doesnt open (this rule can be broken in art it's. complicated) but, like, intimate stuff like kisses are Interesting.

anything less intimate isnt a huge deal, but going beyond second base is Complicated and im not going to go into it here for. obvious reasons.

What do you find appealing about your F/O’s species?

*starts biting at the bars of my cage* i have no answer but i go feral when i think about Him

What do you find unappealing about your F/O’s species?

he's made of wood so his hugs would kinda hurt (but that's okay!!!!!!)

Does your F/O have trouble understanding the cultural norms of humans?

he was made by humans so i dont think he would, especially at this point in time (he was built like 50+ years ago in my made up canon for him)

How long is the expected lifespan for your F/O? How will that effect your relationship with them in the long term?

unsure, but he could technically live forever if he was maintained well... doesnt effect too much i dont think

when i want to feel sad i think about the angst him outliving other humans he was close to so :'-)

Does the physiology of humans confuse your F/O?

not really? some things do (as mentioned above) but it's never like, so confusing he would accidentally hurt someone, nor would he be invasive

[elencelebrindal]

Sorry if they're too many, you don't have to answer everything! What is your fave novel of the three? Favorite/least favorite character for each one? Favorite male/female character for each one (aside from you all-time fave)? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non-canon ship? Least favorite of them (and why)? Favorite tool/weapon in the three? They're so many, sorrysorrysorry!

Don’t worry, I love answering questions! There might be some spoilers here, so... be wary of them. 

Ok, let’s go in order:

1.

My favorite novel of the three is Tian Guan Ci Fu. When I read Mo Dao Zu Shi I told myself “okay, I don’t think anything could beat this”, and then TGCF came around. I think this novel is, in general, one of my favorite books of all time. Aside from the romance part of it (which is often what people mainly focus on when it comes to MXTX), I really loved the characters and the story is absolutely incredible. I ended up getting so involved in it that I read the entire thing + the extras in three days, subsequently read what was out of the manhua in... maybe two hours? and watched the entire donghua as soon as it came on Netflix in one sitting. The only time this happened to me before TGCF was with the Silmarillion. 

This tells a lot. 

2.

Favorite SVSSS character: Luo BingHe shares his first place with Shen QingQiu.

Least favorite SVSSS character: Immortal Master Lao Gongzhu of Huan Hua Palace. I cannot even begin to explain how disgusted I was by that character, I almost never hated anyone more than him. 

Favorite MDZS character: Wei WuXian. He’s been my favorite character from the beginning. His story follows exactly one of my favorite character dynamic, much like many other favorites of mine (from good to evil to neutral/somewhat good again, even if in this case WWX didn’t actually turn evil). I’m pretty sure the same can be said of almost everyone in my favorite list... oh well.

Least favorite MDZS character: it’s a tough choice between Su She, Wen Chao, and Jin ZiXun. I just... I disliked them so much. It’s not even hate, I just didn’t want to see them on screen. Maybe Wen Chao is the worst of them... yeah, he’s the worst. I could count Jiang Cheng in my least favorites as well, but my reasons for not liking him are way too complicated so I won’t insult him so much. 

Favorite TGCF character: Hua Cheng!!!!!!!

Least favorite TGCF character: I don’t have a least favorite character. 

3. 

Favorite SVSSS male character aside from LBH and SQQ: MoBei-Jun and LiuQingGe. I’m not troubling myself with trying to choose between them.

Favorite SVSSS female character: I used to be torn between Sha HuaLing and Liu MingYan, but SHL follows my general preferences way more so she wins. 

Favorite MDZS male character aside from WWX: Wen Ning. He deserves all the love in the world. All of it. Also I really love Nie MingJue and Xiao XingChen. 

Favorite MDZS female character: Jiang Yanli (because I fell in love with her gentle personality while watching The Untamed and I can’t bear myself to stop loving her). Wen Qing is right up there with her.

Favorite TGCF male character aside from HC: well, first of all Xie Lian. Second of all, Bai WuXiang and He Xuan.

Favorite TGCF female character: Ling Wen, but only because I don’t count Shi QingXuan as a fully fledged female (I am too in love with both forms to choose one side, sorry guys). 

4. (they’re all going to be the main ones, lol)

Favorite canon SVSSS ship: Shen QingQiu x Luo BingHe, though... MoBei-Jun x Shang QingHua is a really close second. 

Least favorite canon SVSSS ship: I don’t think I have one? I mean, there’s not much material to examine when it comes to canon pairings.

Favorite canon MDZS ship: Wei WuXian x Lan Wangji.

Least favorite canon MDZS ship: it’s not really a ship (I think, maybe it’s just me?) but whatever they tried to do with Jiang Cheng and Wen Qing in the drama doesn’t sit right with me. For reasons that are a bit more complicated than it seems, and that would need me explaining my opinion about JC first. 

Favorite canon TGCF ship: Hualian! Hualian! Hualian! Hua Cheng x Xie Lian is one of my all time favorite ships, in general. I stand by the statement “Hualian invented love”. 

Least favorite canon TGCF ship: that weird bullshit the mortal realm like to do with Shi QingXuan and Shi Wudu. Poor guys. It’s canon only because their perverted followers say so. 

5.

Favorite non-canon SVSSS ship: I don’t think I have one...? Maybe ZhuZhi-Lang and TianLang-Jun, but I’m still way too confused about that. I know people ship a lot Liu QingGe and Shen QingQiu, but I never saw the appeal of it.

Least favorite non-canon SVSSS ship: again, don’t have one, mostly because I never delved too deeply in the world of non-canon SVSSS ships. 

Favorite non-canon MDZS ship: Xiao XingChen x Song Lan. It’s probably the pairing that makes the most sense (to me) out of everyone else. And it’s heartbreaking, so bonus points for that. 

Least favorite non-canon MDZS ship: Xiao XingChen x Xue Yang. [heavy spoiler alert] I absolutely HATE this pairing. I love Xue Yang, he’s an amazing villain, but this pairing is straight up abuse, no matter how you look at it. I am a sucker for angsty shit, but I really draw the line at the fucked up pairing that is this one. Xue Yang literally destroyed Xiao XingChen psychologically, lied to him for years, gaslighted him, forced him to kill innocent people, forced him to kill Song Lan, and then ended up ruining him so much that Xiao XingChen killed himself and destroyed his own soul. 

I have no idea why people love this pairing so much, but I genuinely hate it. There’s nothing redeeming about it. 

Another ship I don’t like is Jiang Cheng x Lan XiChen, but once again this has more convoluted reasons that revolve around JC, mainly. There’s also Lan XiChen x Jin GuangYao. Please, no. I really don’t like it. 

Favorite non-canon TGCF ship: Pei Ming x Shi Wudu and He Xuan x Shi QingXuan. We all know why beefleaf is important in our hearts, so let me explain something about Pei Ming and Shi Wudu; this pairing doesn’t mean I completely disregard everything else about Pei Ming. He’s our good old manwhore womanizer and I haven’t changed that (too much). But this pairing... in my headcanon, which is something I’m also going to write in my desperate attempt and being a good fanfic writer, Pei Ming fell in love with him so hard that he was like “okay, fine, there’s just you now, I’m done with sleeping around”. After Shi Wudu dies, Pei Ming keeps his word and doesn’t cheat on him for the reminder of his life. My own headcanon is the reason why this is my favorite non-canon ship. I stumbled into it my complete chance, but I genuinely love it. 

Least favorite non-canon TGCF ship: anything that has Xie Lian and Hua Cheng not with each other. I don’t like seeing them paired with anyone else. 

6.

Favorite SVSSS weapon/tool: Xin Mo and Xiu Ya. 

Favorite MDZS weapon/tool: Chenqing

Favorite TGCF weapon/tool: E-Ming and Fang Xin

If you want to ask anything else, feel free! My blog is mostly Saint Seiya, but I do write about other stuff if you ask me! ^ - ^

[felidaefighter]

Fears To Ease And Flesh To Mend

Ranboo and Tubbo find out that unzombifying a piglin is a bit different from unzombifying a villager, and they start off parenthood with quite a few complications and in a little over their heads. For the sake of their child, they may need to put awkwardness aside and ask for help.

[Sick fic, canon divergence, Phil and Techno meet Michael, lots and lots of piglin lore headcanons] ~20,000 words per chapter

Chapter Two of Four

     “Hey Phil,” Ranboo said carefully as they were coming back from trading with the local villagers, who gave good deals since they were grateful they’d been cured after being zombified, “What’s the difference between curing a zombie villager and curing a zombie piglin? Aside from the obvious.” Phil looked curiously at Ranboo while they walked. “That’s an interesting question. It is a little bit different, yeah. Technically the process itself is the same but ahhh there’s always some difficulties. Usually not worth the trouble.” Ranboo pondered this for a moment. “Huh. How do you mean?”

    “Well, because of where they’re from, piglins tend to have a bit of a resistance to magic. So the rotten flesh doesn’t really heal fully or automatically the way it does for villagers. The whole process is easier in the Nether, because the lack of moisture keeps the rot slow and less likely to spread after they’re healed.” Ranboo listened intently, opening his book and scribbling notes so he could keep track. “It’s just a rare thing to see happen, is all. Adult piglins especially, they’re such a warrior-based society that waking up hurting and confused just means they’re more likely to attack the person who healed them than be grateful. Not to mention they’re still going to have infections and rot. It’s just so uncommon because you’d never try and heal a piglin that you didn’t know beforehand. It requires so much aftercare and pre-established trust, like from before they were zombified, that without it it’s just bound to lead to the piglin dying anyways.”

    “Oooh interesting, interesting. But the dosage ratio of potions and apple and stuff is the same, right?” Phil nodded. “Yeah, between piglins and villagers and the little rascals, too.” He cackled a little. “General consensus tends to be it’s better to overdose on magic than underdose, because worst case scenario for inhaling too much of the weakness potion is you feel a bit queasy, and worst case scenario for eating too much golden apple is that you get a stomachache, but if you underdose the worst case scenario is they aren’t healed at all and can never be properly healed.” 

    They were just about at their houses now, and Phil shot Ranboo a look with raised eyebrows. “You don’t know any piglins aside from Techno though right? You aren’t worried about Techno are you mate? You don’t need to be-- he’s already gone through that process. He doesn’t need to do it again.” Ranboo stopped short. This was news to him, but also, it made for an excellent cover. For now at least-- admittedly he was still a little lacking on information for how to treat the infections properly. “Wait, really? Techno was zombified?” 

    “Ah, yep.” Ranboo nearly jumped out of his skin, spooked at Techno’s voice. The piglin must’ve come out of his own house to greet them as they arrived, and overheard the last bit of conversation. “An interestin’ way to enter a conversation, but yeah, I was.” Techno shrugged. “Just for a few seconds though. Happens with any piglin that wants to be able to traverse the overworld. Phil and I planned it ahead of time, so there weren’t really a lot of sores to deal with or anything. Definitely not where most of my scars come from,” Techno said with a bragging smirk. 

    Ranboo laughed a bit. “Of course, yeah. That’s so cool though, ‘cause I didn’t know any of that. It does make sense though, I think, yes.” Ranboo was desperately trying to sound normal and not allude to anything else at all. He really hoped it was working. “Ranboo, you good mate?” Phil asked. It was, apparently, not working. He tried to stay steady and even with his voice. “Yeah, no, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Techno kind of squinted at him, and Ranboo nervously curled in on himself just a bit, despite being slightly taller than the piglin.

    Techno looked like he was going to say something that surely would’ve made Ranboo explode with anxiety, but instead, he just shrugged. “Alright. We won’t pry. Will we, Phil?” Techno said, looking pointedly at the man, who very much looked like he did in fact want to pry, but conceded with a bit of a grumble and a small sigh. “Let us know if you’re curious about anything else though. Techno and I have gone around the bend with this one, we know the ins and outs.” Techno elbowed Phil (knowing this was his way of trying to subtly pry), who lightly smacked him back. Ranboo, in turn, nodded at them. “Mhm! I will, thank you.”

    Ranboo pretended not to notice as the two of them exchanged a knowing glance with one another, instead giving a wave and heading off to his own house for the night. He let out a long, shaky exhale once inside. “Okay, could’ve gone better, could’ve gone worse. Should’ve kept Michael in the nether while healing him, but we did it as soon as he was safe at Snowchester in a baby-proofed room so… Overall… not... as bad as it could have been? I think we did okay, I think we did okay,” Ranboo muttered to himself, trying to calm himself down. 

    Unfortunately, he didn’t learn anything about how to heal an infection, but he supposed that was typical. He didn’t ask about infections. He asked about unzombifying piglins. He did have more resources at his house than Tubbo had, though, so he went to his basement and started rummaging around in his chests to see if he could find anything of value. A little difficult with how disorganized he tended to be, but that was okay. It gave Tubbo time to respond to him after he sent him a quick message. 

    Secretly, Ranboo wanted to involve Techno and Phil; he knew that they and Tubbo had a bit of a rough history, but the two really seemed to know what they were talking about. And Tubbo had changed and Phil and Techno had changed, and Ranboo didn’t think they would try to hurt Michael. If there was a chance they could help Michael, he was considering risking it. He’d do anything for his son. But he wouldn’t say anything unless Tubbo was okay with it; after hesitating, he sent Tubbo another message. 

<Ranboo> techno and phil might know how to help with michael’s infection <Ranboo> but i don’t know how to ask without telling them about him <Ranboo> and i won’t tell them if you’re worried <Tubbo> i don’t trust techno <Tubbo> but he is a piglin also <Tubbo> and i trust you <Ranboo> i just worry that it’ll get worse if we don’t do it right <Tubbo> it’s your call big man

    Ranboo stared anxiously at the messages, thinking of his next step. He was so focused on it that he almost didn’t hear the knock on his door from upstairs. Startled, he shouted up. “Coming! I’ll be there in a second!” Giving one last glance at the conversation, he tucked his communicator away and rushed up the ladder. He opened the door and stepped outside a bit, his house being a bit too cramped to have a decent conversation. “Phil!” He exclaimed, utterly confused. “What’s up? Everything okay?” Phil was standing at the door next to a very disgruntled Technoblade, who looked like he had tried everything in his power to stop whatever conversation was about to happen and, upon failing due to Phil’s Old Man Stubbornness, decided to tag along. 

    “So, hypothetically,” Phil started, and Techno groaned. Phil sent one of his typical jokingly exasperated glances at Techno in response, and started again. “Hypothetically, if you were curing a zombie piglin, you’d probably want someone around who’s done it before to make sure everything went okay.” Ranboo stared at him for a moment, processing. “That’s true! Hypothetically, if I’d already cured a zombie piglin, I’d also want help with it to make sure nothing went wrong.” Phil now wore a knowing smirk, triumphant in the fact that his suspicions were confirmed. Techno sighed. “See, Phil, what you’ve done now is you’ve made a lot more work for us. Ranboo could’ve got it all done on his own and probably would’ve been fine, but now we gotta go help.” Phil turned to him as he spoke.

    “Techno, you don’t have to help mate, I’ve done this on my own before--” Techno interrupted him. “Nahhhh nah nah, you can do it on your own sure, but you see I am a certified actual piglin, so you’re gonna want my help regardless. It’ll be easier with me there. I’m comin’ with you.” Ranboo just stood there, baffled, trying to gather his thoughts. They were both asking way more than he initially thought and also way less. Was this a good thing? Regardless, they had offered to help and apparently nothing could convince them not to. “Th-- Thank you…?” Ranboo said, then corrected himself, “Thank you. I uh. Hoo boy. It’s a bit of a story,” he admitted nervously.

    Phil placed a hand on Ranboo’s upper arm, given his shoulder was a bit too high up for comfort. “Let’s walk and talk, then. I’m assuming this piglin you know is elsewheres, at least.” Ranboo nodded. “Yeah. Let me just, uh--” he sent a quick message to Tubbo saying they were on their way as they started walking-- “Yeah. But first uh, we already healed him. Sort of. We cured him, but he’s not healed. He’s got some really bad infections and we’re worried that some of the issues are internal. It doesn’t seem like it, but we want to be safe.” Phil’s face shifted to a look of deep concern, and mentally started making note of what they would need, as Techno looked rather thoughtfully at Ranboo, having picked up more than just the medical details that Phil was so focused on. “‘We’’? Who’s ‘we’?” Techno asked. 

    Ranboo stiffened, and then took a deep breath. Well, here went nothing. “So you know Tubbo? --Please don’t get mad at me,” Ranboo started, and Techno held his tongue. “When I first joined and Tubbo was giving me a tour of New L’Manberg, we found a. Uh. We found a baby piglin who had been zombified.” Something seemed to click for both Techno and Phil as a look of realization passed over their faces, and Ranboo prayed that it didn’t turn to anger or aggression. They had no reason to feel that way, he tried to reassure himself, but he knew their history with Tubbo.

    “We… made him a little shelter in the Nether to protect him from ghasts and wandering off. Until we’d made a baby-proofed room for him at least in Tubbo’s house. And last night we brought him to the overworld, to Tubbo’s house, and cured him.” Ranboo waited for the backlash, and while Techno looked like he had something he wanted to say, Phil spoke first. “Keeping him in the Nether in a shelter was one of the best things you could’ve done. Most of the area around the main portal, which is what I’m assuming you used, is wasteland, so it’s really dry and that would’ve protected him as well as anything can from decaying. Techno?”

    Techno, after having been given the go-ahead, was finally free to speak his mind. “Ranboo-- Ranboo I’m not really so sure about Tubbo, I mean he is one of the big government guys that hunted me down-- are you doin’ this as like, a favor to him? What’s the relationship there?” Ah. Ranboo had been prepared to talk about Michael, but this, now this was a little awkward. Instead, he decided to first pipe up to correct Techno and defend Tubbo. “Actually, that was Quackity’s idea. He kind of talked everyone else into that. I’m pretty sure at least. I think I wrote it down. He was definitely the one who organized it though. I think he was gonna do it whether we agreed or not?” Techno was very clearly making mental notes. “Interesting,” he said. Ranboo continued in his answer. “And relationship, well uh, it’s not a favor per se, it’s more like… we adopted him? Together. We adopted him together, like, as our son? And we’re married.”

    “What?” Phil squawked. Techno just blinked at Ranboo, and chose his words carefully, trying to hide his shock. Actually, if it wasn’t so nerve-wracking, it would’ve been hilarious. “Well. I won’t say anything as to your choice in spouse, but this is definitely new information.” Phil, despite his ruffled feathers in both a physical and metaphorical sense, gathered himself and decided to push the other two to do the same. Quite literally-- he put a firm hand on Techno and Ranboo both and started urging them towards the portal. Ranboo let out a startled noise that was intermingled with a confused, small laugh. “Right, well, infection’s not gonna get better on its own, we can deal with this situation later. I will talk to you and Tubbo about this,” Phil nearly scolded, and Ranboo could only nod under Phil’s determination. Techno, of course, deferred his judgement to Phil.