#not major but i thought i'd disclaim it

[abnomi]

EVERY REASON (that i can think of) AS TO WHY TURBO/KING CANDY IS NEURODIVERGENT 💥💥

i would like to make a disclaimer first and foremost about the obvious, being that Turbo/King Candy is heavily implied to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Very often, characters with these disorders are portrayed as villains, and Turbo is no exception to this. There's nothing wrong with antagonistic characters having said disorders, per se, but when the only representation available for people with these conditions are found in characters you're not supposed to root for, it can be really disheartening. i won't be erasing these parts of him because i feel it would be in poor taste to gloss over those core elements of who he is, but plz keep in mind that having any kind of personality disorder doesn't make anyone inherently evil!!!🌞 your ACTIONS make you, not your brain

Also if anyone has any suggestions or other ideas for his neurodiversity, i would love to hear them! please do share!! I LOVE PSYCHOANALYZING CHARACTERS AND HEARING OTHER PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE THEM !!!! YAY🎉 if u agree or disagree with any of my points I'd love to discuss them further :-]

without further ado... click read more to find out…😈 be ready for a lot of reaches

💥 ADHD 💥

STIMMING

Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.

he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..

i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]

another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too

HYPERACTIVITY

we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...

another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!

HYPERFIXATION

Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.

it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.

HYPERFOCUS

There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after. 

ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)

ADRENALINE-SEEKING

Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..

it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂

STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE

(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.

of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?

It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?

also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.

💥 ANXIETY 💥

GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g

even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.

yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.

if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.

its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭

FIGHT OR FLIGHT

As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.

 his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.

Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.

CONTROL + PARANOIA

Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.

his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.

this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie. 

the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.

"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"

💥 NPD 💥

INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE

Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.

he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?

EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION

Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).

As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.

The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.

INTENSE JEALOUSY

He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.

being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.

INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM

if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.

He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.

LACK OF EMPATHY

He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.

its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally. 

i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)

💥 ASPD 💥

LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT

One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.

Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.

DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING

Where do i even start with this one.

well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!

one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.

REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS

Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.

Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)

Pinning himself above his peers

Harassment + stalking

Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians

Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2

Vehicular manslaughter

Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation

Mass endangerment

Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism

and more!!!!!!!

AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.

RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS

Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.

IMPULSITIVITY

his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.

What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.

💥 ETC. 💥

extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]

BPD

Fear of abandonment

Blurry sense of identity

Feelings of emptiness

Self destructive tendencies

Emotional instability

Explosive anger

ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)

He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant

Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."

Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)

Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism

Lashes out when he feels slighted

Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not

ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds

[the-bloody-sadist]

in case no one else has asked, please list your top 10 BL manga/manwha? 👀

i am. very interested in what other media you enjoy, especially BL

Combining these two bc I didn't wanna leave the second out!

(I wasn't a big fan of Blood Bank personally but I'm so glad it helped you with your world building Lil Whale!!)

I'm hoping some of these are unheard of for you guys because THERE ARE SO MANY BL/YAOI AND I READ THEM CONSTANTLY BUT NOT SO MANY ARE FANTASTIC AND MIND-BLOWING AND SPECTACULAR AND DEEPLY PSYCHOLOGICAL! I'm pretty sure I'll end up listing WAY more than 10, mainly because I want to highlight ones I feel like a lot of people haven't read. ALSO because I read so fucking many of them that I've collected a stash and NOW IS MY CHANCE TO YELL ABOUT THEM.

Just a disclaimer, these are not in any sort of order, as they're all about the same level in my head, just grouped. I'll list the "big name" BLs that I adore after these! First up are the ones that either have a quiet fandom or aren't well known! Since there'll be so many, I'm not going to say much about them, just know that usually no BL/Yaoi is perfect to me, since there are many bad psychology tropes here and there or unnecessary cruelties that aren't exactly realistic etc., but overall, I like the way that the story and characters are handled and/or love the art.

Here's the top five of my top ten that's not a top ten bc there are so many (I just said I wouldn't group them but I lied my ass off apparently):

Jealousy [Scarlet Beriko]: This is one of those that emotionally hits so hard that it will stick with me forever and I will usually tear up just a tiny bit when I think back to the moments that made this one so beautiful. A lot of times a story with major hurt, angst, and tragedy won't wrap up with enough to make me scream and cheer at the end. But THIS ONE DID. And I stopped reading for a while when a big event happened because I thought it would end horribly and I'd have to suffer three weeks of fiction-induced depression for a man who wasn't even real. BUT NAY. The themes you get in this one revolve around loneliness (huge draw for me, it always hits), mafia-connected characters and the rivalries from that, self-destructive prostitution, and characters who have difficulty receiving love without freaking out. Are those even themes idk. OH WELL. YOU GET THE POINT. I want this one on my shelf. You might've heard of it, but the fandom is silent so I never did. T_T OH ALSO THE ART ON THIS ONE IS GORGEOUS I FUCKING LOVE IT.

Hitori to Hitori no 3650nichi [Hitomi]: First of all, favorite manga artist. FAVORITE MANGA ARTIST. I'm never exactly sure if the artist is also the writer or if the writer is never the artist or...BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER. Anyway! I listed this particular title because it was the first that I found by this person - but then I discovered it was a part of a bigger series, and there are like I DON'T KNOW FIVE DIFFERENT MANGA?? OR SOMETHING??? Related to this one. I don't know which order, I just know that I read them all in a frenzy. THE CHARACTERS. OH! OH THE CHARACTERS! Oh my gods, it's so good. LMFAO. The arcs these characters have are fantastic, and I loved the fact that the abuser in one is shown to be the victim of abuse in a prequel story, and that his anger issues and other elements of his personality came about to affect him and destroy him. Just...I don't recall the details, READ IT. That's all. Spectacular depictions of nuanced trauma within abusive relationships.

The Beast Must Die [Lee Hyeon Sook]: This remains one of my favorite depictions IN ANY MEDIA of a psychopath, because it's SO accurate and I'm SO fucking proud of the author for doing their research and OH MY GODS YOU GUYS IT'S ABOUT TO GET A DRAMA CD LET'S FUCKING GO! This story is so good. It's so evil. It's so psycho-thriller. It's so WELL DONE. It features a dark academia-ish secret society within a college setting who hunt people for sport, sometimes. LIKE. Come on. And the psychopath (dark hair) IS THE MAIN LOVE INTEREST! You could literally hear the summary and go "oh this is for Sadist". And I don't get a lot of those that deliver this well. SOMETIMES the art makes me twist my head a little but YOU KNOW WHAT I DO NOT CARE OKAY? It's just SO good. There's murder, there's kidnapping, and - most importantly - a main character who doesn't just DEAL with whatever the psychopath does. He's smart, he fights back, he learns to understand psychopathy to determine if he should remain with the love interest...it's fantastic. That's all. I will stop. *BANGS THE WALL*

Aporia [Seontae]: ALL HAIL THE HEALTHY BDSM RELATIONSHIPS THAT STILL HOLD TENSION AND EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!! This is my favorite BDSM-themed story. Everything is consensual, but is everything safe??? Not when it comes to the main character's emotions and tendency to sacrifice his wellbeing for a partner. BUT NOT TO WORRY, HIS SADISTIC LOVE INTEREST IS CONSIDERATE AND ATTENTIVE AND CARES ABOUT HIS FEELINGS!! This is, perhaps, one of my favorite depictions of a REAL sadist. A real one as in a realistic, irl BDSM-relationship sadist. Someone who is just as worried about taking care of his partner as he is about hurting him JUUUUST right. ANYWAY! THAT'S ALL! READ IT! HE'S LITERALLY ME!

Royal Servant [MasterGin, Chungnyun]: Okay, we were talking about healthy BDSM in the previous one, now let's talk about TOXIC BDSM-THEMES THAT I LOVE. Lmao. DO YOU LIKE MASTER/SLAVE DYNAMICS? DO YOU LIKE STORIES WHERE THE ARC LEADS TO THE ABUSIVE MASTER EVENTUALLY LEARNING TO NOT BE ABUSIVE AND LOVE THE SLAVE? YEAH ME TOO. I DON'T NEED TO DESCRIBE THIS ANY FURTHER. AUTHOR OF ANGEL BUDDY, THIS IS THE ONE THAT I KNEW HER FOR FIRST.

A bunch of other good ones you may or may not have heard of (I won't describe every one of these unless I have something particular to say, so enjoy the pictures from them that I snatched):

Love me in the Wilderness [Wang Tao]

Neon Sign Amber [Ogeretsu Tanaka]

Zetsubou ni Nake [Shinou Ryo]: Guys. This story is UNIQUE AS HELL. I had to say something about it. The premise is that a man who was raped turns around and goes back after his rapist and rapes him back, and then they fall in love. IT'S....the amount of times my jaw dropped was insane on this one. SOMEHOW IT'S WRITTEN SO WELL. SOMEHOW THEY NAILED THE STRANGE REALISM OF IT AND HAD ME TEARING UP OVER THE INTENSITY OF THE RAPE SCENES. VERY WELL-PACED, VERY TRAUMATIC IN A GOOD WAY. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. The way they come to love each other after this crazy foundation of mutual rape is IMPRESSIVE. Kudos to the writer.

Love or Hate [Yeongha]: This is a very well-known one but there's like zero fandom so I think it fits here. Also a lot of hate going around for it? Which I never understood, fuck those guys. This remains one of the most beautifully-written that I've ever read, and I mean that purely in like...the ACTUAL writing on the page. I'm talking poetry, purple prose. I just recall being blown away by that, and no manga before or since has ever reached its level. For once I felt like the writer was also a novelist because of the way that they put things, and had a clear voice in the style. Did the main boy end up with someone I didn't want him to end up with at the end? Yes. But I felt like it fit pretty well, and it was sort of a tragedy, and it was supposed to hit you painfully in the gut. A lot of people were mad at the main character for that and I don't really think it's fair. In any case! A beautiful story with complex characters and intriguing dilemmas. Highly recommend it.

Shangri La no Tori (Birds of Shangri La) [Ranmaru Zariya]

Two in Six Billion [Denzou]

The Pizza Delivery Man and The Gold Palace [Upi]: Great story and character-building so far! I will say that once it became porn, it dove a little too heavily into it for me. Like I only needed one scene of the porn, I was enjoying the panic attack scenes much more. BUT YEAH, IT'S ONGOING, SO WE'LL SEE WHERE IT GOES! But the panic attack scenes were the reason I read it and yes, I did tear up.

Sleeping Dead and Living Dead [Asada Nemui]: I RECENTLY FOUND THIS ONE AND ADOOOOOOREEE IT SO MUCH. I DO NOT CARE THAT IT'S AN OLD SCIENTIST AND HIS ZOMBIE PATIENT. NORMALLY THAT WOULD HOLD NO SWAY OVER ME, BUT OH GODS, THE ART IS SO PRETTY AND THE STORY IS SO GOOD. I LOVE THE LITTLE ZOMBIE MAN! I LOVE THE LITTLE ROMANCE THEY'VE GOT!

Private Lessons [ANCO, Mongya]: It's cuuuuute what can I saayyyyy it has BDSM and threesomes and I liked it. Very entertaining. Scratches the BDSM itch and the little SUB WAS SO CUTE. Anyway.

Kingyo no Ubugoe [Gontaku Nido]

From Points of Three [White Eared]: Threesome dynamics!!

Silent Lover [Qiang Tang, Bai Li Jun Xi]: I STOPPED THIS ONE AT A CERTAIN POINT BECAUSE IT DIPPED INTO WEIRD M-PREG AND STUFF I CANNOT READ. But BEFORE all that, I was deeply ingrained in this one. It has a main character who can't speak (a particular weakness of mine) and he's OH SO CUTE and he's given as a sex slave basically to the emperor (emperor? idk he's a kingly man, something like that), and the emperor is evil but learns to be soft and yet it takes a LONG TIME SO I WAS BAWLING HYSTERICALLY OVER SOME OF THE HEARTWRENCHINGLY PAINFUL SCENES IN THIS FOR THE POOR YUU-ER. A good read until it decided to go the omegaverse-by-magic-potions route. I didn't stay to figure out where it actually ended up.

Yoru wa Tomodachi [Ido Gihou]

Toumei na Ai no Utsuwa [Hitomi]

Re:Birth [Misuaki Asou]: The singular omegaverse story in existence that I actually liked. Hopefully that says a lot. Mostly because it's about the omegaverse elements NOT being present for the main character and him trying to fake it because he's lonely and afraid that his partner (an alpha *shakes off the disgusting label because who the fuck thought alpha was a cool word*) will leave him if he finds out he's just a regular guy (aka beta I guess? ABO is weird idc).

Sahara no Kuro Washi [Soutome Emu]: MASTER SLAVE MASTER SLAVE---

Haru ni Kaeru [Kunieda Saika]

Incorrigible [Bbong]

Well Done! [ANCO, Mongya]

Nemuri Otoko to Koi Otoko [Zariya Ranmaru]

Even If You Don't Love Me [Pando]: It dropped off SUPER hard (it's ongoing still) but damn was it good in the beginning. I am sick and tired of where it's at currently but the psychological manipulation and the horror of a certain twist in the storyline was CRUSHING to me. I only wish that it would have gone a better way after it happened, because it slowly destroyed itself and became like a lot of tropey rape stories. The asshole just keeps being an asshole and it's not really where the story seemed to want to go with that. But otherwise, it started off strong and I'll give it kudos for that.

Bigger titles I'm pretty sure everyone has heard of that I enjoy:

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai [Yoneda Kou]: Is it a little unrealistic that literally everyone in this story is gay apparently and wants to fuck one man apparently and/or rape him? Yes, absolutely. Does that matter once you're in the story and it's so good and all these unrealistic cruelties make a really strong bond between the main love interest and this self-destructive masochist who's probably not really a masochist but only interested in hurting himself because he doesn't know how else to handle his trauma from childhood? Ummmm yeah. Anyway! This one had a lot of inspiration and a lot of tears and a lot of obsession from me. I re-read it all the time, I watch the movie over and over, I listen to the audio drama and cry at my favorite scenes. Do I care in the end that it's a little unrealistic at times? No but I do laugh sometimes when I'm about to share it with a new person. Because BL is just like that generally and you've got to put up with a little of those tropes to find your favorite stories. THIS IS ONE OF THE TOP FAVORITES OF ALL TIME FOR ME BTW, IT'S ONLY SO LOW DOWN HERE BECAUSE PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE IN YAOI KNOWS ABOUT THIS ONE ALREADY, AND WE'RE ALL AWARE OF HOW GOOD IT IS.

ENNEAD [Mojito]: I will say that this is basically the best manga/comic/manhua...what's the Chinese word idk ANYTHING OF THIS MEDIA TYPE that I have ever read. It's not done, and people have been complaining that it's starting to fall into the common BL tropes but you know what I do NOT care. Mojito is a genius, Mojito is a master storyteller, Mojito is beautiful, Mojito is strong - I just love Mojito and this work. So much. The action, the horror of rape, the deep-set character conflicts and dilemmas and internal turmoils. Everything, nailed it. Nailed it. And not to mention it's set in FUCKING EGYPTIAN MYTHOLOGY AND THEY'RE ALL GODS AND THEY HAVE SUCH COOL BATTLES AND COSTUMES AND DUDE???? I'm so hooked. That's all.

Killing Stalking [Koogi]: OBVIOUSLY. I don't really need to say anything about this one except that yeah, some of the psychology is a little off and some of it is just super shallow. But I loved the characters and that's what mattered in the end. I fell in love with Sangwoo too and it ripped my heart out when I read the ending. I was depressed for like two weeks and it was the first story that had ever affected me that way, but I was also younger and this was one of my first yaoi/BLs and yeah. GREAT story though, fantastic storytelling, very lovable characters. Sangwoo was handled so much better than most "asshole/kidnapper/rapist" characters and I will never stop appreciating that, because a lot of writers tend to forget that your villains have to have redeeming qualities if you want us to like them (????). Jinx, I'm fucking coming for you. Suck my dick. KOOGI FTW.

Missing Love/A Married Man [In Hyerin]: Some of the DESCRIPTIONS of how trauma works especially of the sexual nature in this story are SO. SO. GOOD. However, I am beginning to grow VERY ANNOYED at where it decided to go with the most current updates of the story. The author did enough trauma to the main boy, now it's getting so incredibly excessive that it's overdoing it and the author's kinks are showing through. LIKE I GET IT. Okay? I do. But this one became too much and I need him to return to the actual story arc of going through that trauma so he can HEAL with the right person taking care of him.

MadK [Ryo Sumiyoshi]: I am into NONE of the kinks that would lead to me picking up this manga. I hate demons, I'm not a monsterfucker, I can't do extreme guro, and yet I SAW CANNIBALISM. THAT WAS THE ONE THING THAT I THOUGHT I'D GIVE IT A TRY FOR. And then accidentally I got obsessed because the plot is AMAZING and the writing is SO GOOD and who cares if I hate demons and monsters ALL OF THEM ARE BADASS AND HOT (??) AND IT CEASES TO MATTER. Good on the writer for making them appeal by personality alone and expressions and whatever else you signed a deal with the devil to make me like because it worked. Also the guro is beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. Hannibal levels.

Warehouse [Killerwhale]

Painter of the Night [Byeonduck]

Viewfinder/Finder [Yamane Ayano]

Given [Kizu Natsuki, Gusari]

Nii-Chan [Harada] (and basically every other work by Harada)

Sadistic Beauty Side Story [Geumsan Lee, Woo Yeonhui]

Dine With a Vampire [Pangin, Pinko]

Angel Buddy [Mastergin, Chungnyun]

My Partner's Tastes and Fetishes [Deok Hwa]

Interview with a Murderer [KJK]

On or Off [A1]

Steel Under Silk [Snob]

The Pawn's Revenge [Evy]: It was going to be SO GOOD! And then it dropped off harder than a boulder from a balcony and I have absolutely no idea why the author took it the way that they took it, but go off I guess. It's boring as hell now but it started off with promise and I enjoyed the art and character designs. Too bad, I suppose.

Caste Heaven [Ogawa Chise]: An old classic with all the sticky sometimes icky mostly ridiculous BL tropes but hey, it's cute. It's sexy. It's fun. I don't care.

Wet Sand [Doyak]: We're still in the beginning stage of this one but I'm excited to see where it goes! Plus the art SLAPS ASS like nobody's business.

19 Days [Old Xian]: I hate comedy, I hate fluff, I hate buddies that never become lovers, but none of that mattered when I picked this one up. The duality of man. Bite-sized chapters and ACTUALLY AN EVENTUAL ROMANCE that none of us thought we'd ever get.

Legs That Won't Walk [Black Apricot]: Although this one dropped off hard for me and I'm really just following it to see if it picks up again and does something interesting (it probably won't) I did enjoy it in the beginning. I just get tired of the "asshole just keeps being an asshole and nothing else but woobified slut keeps coming back to him??" without the strong and realistic undercurrent of Reasons Why Someone Would Come Back such as manipulation or threats or unhealthy attachment. Perhaps it was sorta there in the beginning with them but now I'm just like why are we still continuing this story.

Pearl Boy [Inking, Zoy]: *Awkwardly scratches neck* It's not the best okay? It's not. It's really not. I don't like half of the things that occur in this one, but the ART, bro. THE ART, BRO? That's what got me into it and what kept me into it, PLUS I do like little Jooha. I stayed for Jooha, too. Dooshik drives me a little batty most of the time and looks ugly for half the story to me, but when he's badass, he's pretty badass, so I can forgive him. I really don't know why he has such drastically changing appearances because I thought he was someone completely different for a bit LMAO. In any case, I have to admit I like the uhhhhh danger that Jooha gets himself into and the crazy things that make no sense but you know what he gets hurt and then there's comfort and rescue and they cry and I cease to care that it makes no sense. (Sorta, I don't actually cease to care I just laugh awkwardly and go okay sure that's how it works because it's so hard to find stories that don't do this LOL I'm beating a dead horse) BUT WHY DOES HE CUM PEARLS? WILL WE EVER KNOW? WHO THE HELL THOUGHT OF THAT AND WITHOUT A SUPPORTING MAGIC SYSTEM IN THE WORLD TO MAKE THAT MAKE SENSE? IT WENT DOWNHILL SO FAST AND THE ENDING IS TERRIBLE BTW. THE VILLAIN SUCKS.

That's it. I can't talk to much or I'll run out of words but HOPE YOU GUYS FIND SOME NEW READS!!

[simsi45]

The Sims 4 Amber House Pack - PUBLIC RELEASE!

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE PATREON PAGE!

Oh...my...GOD!!! I can't believe this is actually happening....

After 3 years of hard work, I am here to welcome everyone to:

The Sims 4 Amber House Pack!

It's time to create your own mission style dream house, with this collection of 345 brand new and hella cool build/buy mode items, inspired by Dontnod's "Life is Strange: Before the Storm" game.

EARLY ACCESS: You can get the pack right now, on my PATREON on the 3-5$ tiers, or wait for the 12th of May for the public release!

Please read EVERYTHING included in the post as it contains useful information about the pack!

DISCLAIMER: Simsi45 or The Sims 4 Amber House Pack is NOT affiliated or associated with Electronic Arts, Square Enix, Deck Nine or Dontnod in ANY way. This is a purely fanmade pack made by me, a fan of both games that wanted to get the best of both worlds.

FEATURES:

 345 new items (including sofas, tables, decor, windows, doors and much much more!)

 Search for "amberhouse", "lis", "simsi45" to find most of the items in the build/buy catalog.

 Custom original names and descriptions. (the best I could come up with :P)

 Tons of custom recolors (based on original textures) to mix and match items more easily.

 Heavy modification on original meshes and textures, including english text turned into simlish.

 Everything has been playtested thoroughly.

 Included are a couple of easter egg items from The Sims 2 that I thought fit the theme well.

New lot I made showcased in the trailer and pics (found in the gallery under my tag @simsi45_mods) a recreation of Rachel Amber's house.

LOT INSTALLATION:

Included in the pack is the lot recreation of the Amber House that's featured in the pictures and videos.

You can get the lot by:

Using the gallery. Make a search under my EA id: @simsi45_mods and download the lot as usual. I've included customized pictures to identify my own lot more easily. Make sure you have the "enable custom content" tag ENABLED for the lot to show up in the results.

If you have difficulties using the gallery you can download the lot tray files from the bottom of the post, and move them inside your own tray folder. This can be found in your documents/electronic arts/the sims 4/ tray folder. This way you can install the lot without the need of the gallery.

NOTES:

~ The pack is in an EARLY-ACCESS STATE! I have dedicated a lot of time to test everything but I'm a team of just a single person. If you find any issues please let me know so I can take a look.

~ Because of the amount of items the size of the pack is quite big. I tried my best to make everything as compact as possible with the final size being 1.5 GB of required free space. 

~ The majority of the meshes and textures of these items are ripped straight from the LIS: Before the Storm game, and then each individual item (both mesh and textures) has been heavily modified and edited to fit and function properly within the Sims 4 game's engine. That's why some items will look identical to the original game, some look somewhat different, and some are brand new meshes I made using the original items.

~ Some of the original ripped meshes' poly counts were WAY too high so I had to lower the polygons so The Sims 4 wouldn't explode when filling a lot with them. I lowered the polygons and edited most of the items as much as possible without compromising their original look too much. In other words I tried to find the best balance between looks and performance and after lots of testing on my moderate PC system, I can confirm the game runs super smoothly on my end. 

BACKSTORY ABOUT THE PACK (no spoilers):

This pack started with an idea I got back in 2017 when I first played Life Is Strange Before The Storm. When visiting the Amber house, I immediately fell in love with it as I am huge fan of the craftsman architectural style, it's literally all I'd want my dream house to be. The art team has done an incredible job on it, and as I personally find the art style of the Life is Strange series and The Sims 4 to fit very well with each other, I wanted to make these assets available for The Sims 4. Of course back then this all seemed impossible, however a few years later in 2020 during quarantine I revisited the idea as it had been stuck on my wishlist ever since.

To make a long story short, this project has been in the works for about 3 years now, and after a lot of hard work, head scratching and quite a few sleepless nights I managed to overcome all the obstacles I came across (which were a lot mind you) and I'm honestly hoping you'll be as pleased with the results as I am. Seriously this exceeded my expectations as it started as a small little pack for my personal use, to what I'd consider an expansion pack's (or even more) worth of build/buy content.

INSTALLATION:

Due to the size of the pack I had to split it up into multiple parts. You will need a .RAR extractor unpack it. More specifically:

1 -> Download ALL 6 parts of the pack and put them ALL in the same folder. 2 -> Right click the 1st part .RAR file named "Simsi45 - The Sims 4 Amber House Pack.part1" and click "Extract Here"   3 -> Once that's finished a package file will appear, this is the entire pack and you can now move that into The Sims 4/Mods. Simple as that!

CREDITS & THANKS:

~Dontnod, Square Enix, Deck Nine for the original meshes & textures ripped from Life is Strange: Before the Storm that were used to create most of the items.

~EA for some meshes & textures used to convert some items from The Sims 2.

Special thank you to all the patreon members that stuck with me throughout me developing the pack. Although not many I really appreciate every single one of you for the support you've given me and for sticking around!

[jointherebellion215]

Worth

John "Bucky" Egan x female!reader

Summary: You're swept off your feet by one Major John C. Egan, and you love every second of it. Sequel to Birdie.

Word Count: 3.0k

Tags: female!reader, mechanic!reader, women™, period typical sexism & misogyny, fun date night, dude w/ a small dick gets rightfully called out, mostly just fun date stuff, tons of fluff

A/N: Hello all! Thank you so much for the kind words on Birdie. I really appreciate everyone's comments, they warm my heart right up. I almost didn't write this, but the thought of having these two smooch it up was too good to pass up. I also completely headcanon that Bucky has the biggest sweet tooth, oops. As always, I'd be most gracious if you were to leave a like, comment, and/or reblog :)

Read the OC Version of this story on AO3!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This story and any recognizably named characters are based solely on dramatic portrayals of the characters from the series, not the real individuals they represent. All the respect to the actual service people who fought and died in the Second World War. Also, please don't copy, repost, or translate my writing without explicit prior permission. Don't even think about it, AI!

A knock at the door brings butterflies to your stomach.

“Oh, he’s here!” Irene shouts, which is immediately met with your shushing, as well as Teresa’s.

You nervously pat your hair and check over your outfit for the evening. You’re spending your second day’s leave on a date with Bucky Egan. He had approached you last night at the pub, asking if you wanted to grab dinner. Alone. 

You, of course, said yes.

Teresa and Irene go to answer the door while you gather your purse, stuffing it with your essentials. Your friends greet him at the same time, sounding like twins.

“Good evening, Major!”

“Good evening, Major!”

You hear his deep voice reply, only a small bit of surprise leaking into his voice.

“Good evening, ladies. Is Birdie around? We have dinner plans.”

“I’m here! Hi.” You step around the wall that hides you from the front door, taking a look at the man you’d been crushing on for months. He stands tall and confident in his neatly pressed uniform, hat covering most of his dark curls. His mouth gapes, giving you a once over and attempting to speak up.

“I- You-…Uh, wow. Y-you look…” But any sweet words he attempts to say are interrupted by Irene, who comes in hot with a manic smile.

“Did you know that my daddy taught me how to shoot when I was just a little girl? I’m real good at it. They call me Oakley, back home, cause of how great a marksman I am. Y’know, like Annie Oakley?” She stepped forward, puffing up her chest and giving a frightening grin to Major Egan. You and Teresa exchanged confused looks, not knowing quite where she was going with this.

“I’m not allowed a sidearm or a rifle over here, but I’m sure I could easily borrow one from any of the fellas on base should you break my best friend’s hea—”

“OKAY! We don’t wanna be late, all the tables might be taken soon. Gotta go. Love you. Bye!” You quickly shove past the blonde, stepping over the threshold. You take Bucky’s hand and practically drag his tall form down the hallway, away from your best friend’s attempt at a shovel talk.

You faintly hear Teresa’s well wishes to you amid the aggressively whispered conversation she has with Irene. The last words you hear before the elevator door closes in front of you are a heavily accented protest from Irene.

“What? I was just trying to..!”

The pair of you stand in the elevator in silence. A slight rocking indicates the starting motion of it, which snaps you back to reality. Looking down, you realize that you’re still holding hands with Bucky. You quickly separate your hand from his, heat rising to your cheeks.

“Your friends seem nice.”

Your head snaps to glance at Bucky, who is already looking at you. A sincere smile graces his face, not a hint of mocking in his eyes. 

“I’m glad you have them looking out for you.” 

You feel your face start to cool down, making you comfortable enough to respond. 

“They drive me nuts sometimes. But they’re the best friends I could ever ask for.” You mean every word. 

You see John nod, so you turn back to look to the elevator doors in front of you. An awkward pause.

“You look beautiful.”

Another pause. “What?”

“It’s what I meant to say earlier. That you look beautiful. Because you do.”

Heat quickly returns to your cheeks, spreading throughout your whole upper body. You give a bashful smile, peeking up at him through your lashes. You gaze into his eyes for a moment.

“Thank you, Johnny. You look quite handsome yourself.” The Major adjusts his hat, covering just the tips of his ears. He returns your gaze with an uncharacteristically nervous grin. The floor gives a slight rattle, elevator door and gate opening to reveal the lobby.

John straightens up, holding out his arm for you to take. You tentatively weave your hand within the crook of his elbow. He gently presses his arm in, bringing your body closer to his. 

You meet your other hand in its position and let Bucky lead you out of the hotel and into the evening air.

✨

“That was so delicious! I never knew that a roast could be so tender…”

The pair of you were walking arm-in-arm down a cobblestone street, just having finished dinner. It was a wonderful time. Bucky had been the perfect gentleman, but made his interest in you clear without being sleezy.

He was entirely focused on you the whole time. He asked questions and was genuinely invested in your answers. Conversation came to the two of you like a duck to water. After a shared glass of wine, his hand had slowly inched towards yours. Soon he had cradled it in his, like you were a precious commodity, until your meals arrived. You could hardly keep your eyes off of each other long enough to even promptly acknowledge the wait staff, which you were sure annoyed some and amused others.

Safe to say, John Egan was doing his best to sweep you off your feet.

You hadn’t discussed any other plans for after dinner, but the walk you’re on now is nice enough to give you reason to stick close together.

Bucky nods along, “And that fruit tart? Incredible.”

You laugh, leaning into your date, “I knew that would be your favorite part. You’ve got a bit of a sweet tooth, don’t you?” 

Bucky holds his hands up with a mischievous smirk on his face, “Hey, I plead the fifth.” 

“I’ll admit, I’ve never seen someone so adamant on having some coffee with his sugar.” You continue to tease him. He nudges you playfully, giving a smooth grin in return.

“Hey, we’re in a war! If you see something sweet,” Bucky surprises you by picking you up and twirling you around, getting a full belly laugh from you as he sets you back on the ground.

“You gotta snatch it up and enjoy it while you can.”

You have a feeling that he wasn’t just talking about food. 

By that point, you’re leaning against his front, hands on both of his shoulders. The moment has shifted into something else. Something different. His eyes roam your face, eventually stopping on your lips. Just as he starts to lean in, the moment is shattered by the sound of instruments starting up nearby. Bucky flinches, cursing the ill-timed disruption. 

Oblivious to his turmoil, you gasp in delight and look around for the source of the music.

“Do you hear that? I think there’s a band playing!” 

You spot a few people walk into what looks like a club. It barely a stone’s throw from where you’re both currently standing. 

Bucky quickly recovers, “Should we grab a drink? Have a dance or two?”

You beam at him, and his heart stutters in his chest once more. After you give a nod, you place your hand in his arm and let him lead you into the club.

The two of you step into the establishment, and the energy is almost electric. There are mills of people walking about, drinking, talking, laughing. There’s a great score more on the dance floor, hopping and jiving along to the band you now knew you’d heard earlier. There weren’t a lot of uniforms present, but the ones that were were RAF.

Bucky guides you to the bar, hand on your back until you're both sat on a pair of stools. Your drinks are quickly ordered and served, so your night continues. You both allow yourselves to talk shop for a moment, so your conversation turns towards what you were working on before your leave. As you get to discussing the more intricate parts of your project, you hear a scoff from behind you.

John quickly looks over your shoulder, spotting the culprit.

“Excuse me, is there a problem here?”

You turn around to find a uniformed man taking a sip of his whiskey, RAF logo plastered on the lapel. He mockingly shakes his head, placing the glass down on the bar.

“No, no problem at all.”

Bucky, ever the confrontationist, persists. “It seems like there’s a problem here.”

You gesture towards the man, silently indicating that he was welcome to speak his mind. 

“It’s not enough that you Yanks come over to our country, destroy our pubs and disrespect our women with your recklessness. But you can’t even keep your own women in check! She should be at home, away from the war, for God’s sake. Taking care of the house and the children. You know, doing feminine duties.”

You had heard all of this before, so it was no skin off your back to hear it again. You roll your eyes and decided to just ignore him. Then the man started to laugh, as if he was in on a private joke.

“I mean, a female mechanic? Between that and your daytime missions, it’s no wonder you’re all dropping like flies.”

You let out an exhale, letting the air stream out through your nose. In your periphery, you see Bucky start to stand— to, no doubt, escalate the situation. You stop him with a hand on his chest. He sits back down, looking between you and the man who had just insulted you. You set your glass down, hopping off the stool and giving a slow clap. 

“I’m so glad to know that some people still live in the Stone Age, where apparently all a woman is good for is cooking and giving birth! Thank you so much for showing us exactly what a lack of education and individual thought looks like! See where we are—over in modern times— women can do whatever the hell they want. That includes fixing your planes and jeeps, operating your radios, driving your trucks, and even training your allies to use machine artillery!”

The RAF soldier realizes what he’s gotten himself into but is backed into a corner of the bar as you pace forward with each scathing word that leaves your mouth.

“Never mind all the bullshit you just spouted about what a woman is fit to do. I think that women can decide for ourselves exactly what we can and cannot do. As for my countrymen, I’m proud to serve alongside them. They go up every day willing to sacrifice themselves so that the rest of us don’t have to. They’re gonna be remembered for their bravery and grit. They’re not cowardly enough to hem and haw and stick up their noses at the thought of a woman doing something other than popping out a kid and ironing their pleats.”

The music has dulled down, but you don’t have the complete attention of the club. That gives you the courage to say your final piece.

“Never you mind. I'm confident that the men I serve with, including the man I have with me tonight, aren’t anything like you. Thank God for that! They're not so…” You take an exaggerated glance towards the man’s crotch, scrunching up your nose. “…small-minded.”

Leaving the gaping man behind, you turn to Bucky and ask if he wants to go get some air. He picks his jaw up off the floor quick enough to nod and lead you back outside into the street.

Hey, hanging around Irene pays off sometimes.

As you step out into the night air, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. You feel John step up behind you, voice carefully asking,

“Hey, are you okay? Birdie?”

You continue to stand with your eyes closed. You just needed a moment.

“I’ve come too far to let anyone’s opinion of me, or my career choices, effect me.”

You open your eyes and look over your shoulder at your date. He gives an understanding nod, stepping closer to you. He places his hands on your arms, rubbing up and down in a soothing motion. You lean back into him, closing your eyes once more, letting him comfort you for the time being.

“Sorry if I ruined the night.”

You can feel a rumble from Bucky’s chest as he chuckles. “Oh, this night’s far from ruined. In fact, that was probably the best thing I’ve ever seen.”

One of your eyes pops open. You crane your neck to peek at him, “Even better than the time you told me about Curt knocking out an RAF officer in one punch?”

“Yep.”

“Winning that bet to get your bicycle?”

“Oh, for sure.”

“Better than your fruit tart from dinner?”

His smile widens, “Okay, let’s not get crazy here. Maybe it was top ten.”

“Top ten?!” You playfully gasp, turning around to face him again. You rest your hands on your hips, “What’s a girl gotta do to rank above a fruit tart around here?”

“Well…” You scoff and shove Bucky at the cheeky smirk he gives you. You’re quickly distracted by the sound of the band inside starting up again. This time with a familiar tune.

“Oh, your song’s on, Johnny!”

Bucky tosses his hat to the side, steps back and gives a very unserious bow. He then sneers with a hyper-nasal impression of the RAF officer you’d just affronted.

“My lady.”

You roll your eyes and give a joking curtsy in return, taking his offered hand. He pulls you into a proper stance for a waltz, which is a complete offset to the jive song that reaches your ears. You both jokingly hop along in the awkward squared formation for a moment, giggling to yourselves. 

He gently pushes on your hip while outstretching his hand, so you take the cue and twirl until you’re both standing at each other’s fingertips. A quick grasp of your hand and a pull twirls you right back into his arms, bumping into his chest. The moment made you burst into laughter, leaning into your dance partner until the song ends. 

The next song is a much slower tune, giving Bucky the chance to pull you in close. You hum along to the band playing, sidling up to the Major’s chest. He places a hand in yours and loops the other around your waist. Your free arm gently drapes under his and over his shoulder, encouraging a lean into his firm body. You both give a slow sway, leading each other back and forth in the quiet echoes of the street. Closer than before.

“You know, I’ve been plucking up the courage to ask you to dinner for a while now.” 

You lay your head on the knuckles of your hand that rest on his shoulder, responding lowly. 

“Really?”

You continue to sway.

“Yeah.”

You’re curious, so you ask, “What made you finally do it?”

He thinks on the answer for a moment, almost chewing on his thoughts. John is not the kind of person to typically contemplate over an answer, so you gift him all the time in the world to respond. You recognize how important that is to him.

“I… I think that it was a lot of little things.” He pulls you in closer. “Your smile, your eyes, the way you talk about the things you love. Birdie, you are so personable with everyone you come into contact with and it’s so magnetic.” 

The flow of compliments shocks you, not expecting this barrage of details to come from the man in front of you. But you dance on anyways.

“But I really think what did me in was yesterday, at the pub. When you looked at me during your song.”

You remember. You know exactly what he was talking about. Whatever he must have felt, you know that you felt it too.

He continues to speak in an intimate tone as you sway along in the street.

“I felt my entire life click into place. It was like everything suddenly made sense. I didn’t have to wonder about what my life was going to be like in five, ten, fifteen years. Because I knew.”

He pulls back to look you in the eye, and the amount of vulnerability in his eyes floors you. 

“I’ll be honest, it scared the shit outta me. It terrified me.”

You understand what he meant. This is all new to him, as it is to you. You pull his forehead to touch yours, noses gently brushing one another, as you offer your best words of comfort in that moment.

“Sometimes, you have to do what scares you the most to find out what’s worth doing.” 

He cups your face, letting his lips ghost against yours. He made his intentions clear, but it was up to you to decide how you move forward.

So, you close your eyes and take the leap.

Your lips press into his, hands stroking the arms that were framing your face. He immediately responds in kind, lips moving in tandem with yours. You melt into him at the reciprocated motion. His arms soon move to your waist, pulling you impossibly close. Your arms reach around his neck, hands resting at the nape of his neck. As he deepens the kiss, you run your hands up, down, and through the dark curls on the back of his head, earning a groan from your partner.

A burst of warmth sparks from within your very being, traveling further and further through your body until you’re consumed by flames. Half of your mind is scrambling to make sense of reality, and the other half is completely consumed by passion.

After a moment, you reluctantly separate from one another, panting to catch your breath. It’s as if the world stopped spinning when you connected, and then started up again when you parted. 

Giving a nervous look to the man you just kissed, you’re elated when he gives you an ear-to-ear grin. He grasps one of your hands in his, intertwining your fingers. His other hand comes up to cup your face again, thumb gently stroking your cheekbone.

You stay silent for the time being, letting the moment marinate. He brings up your joined hands to kiss the back of your palm. Your heart jumps with joy at the sight.

Bucky gives an exhale before breaking the silence.

“You are most definitely worth it.”

[jojo-schmo]

How did you come up with roleswap Elfilis' design? It's really cool!

Hi! Thank you so much! :D I'd love to share my thought process! Gather round the armchair by the fireplace, friends! It's story time!

I've said before that the Forgotten Land Roleswap started off as a doodle that swapped Dedede and Bandana Dee's roles as Player 2 and the Brainwashed Beast. But when I realized how fun that one little change was, how about EVEN MORE changes? That's how my one-time doodle turned into the full AU story. I swapped Meta Knight and Kirby, Clawroline and Leongar, and Sillydillo and Gorimondo- and because the story is so Waddle-Dee centric, I promoted Dedede to "Player 1" since the stakes would be higher for him as their King.

So now I had a story that had a lot of opposite traits to canon and I wanted to explore that further! When it came to the matter of Elfilin, I thought he would probably behave too similarly towards Dedede and Meta as he did to Kirby and Bandee. He'd be friendly and trusting, communicative, optimistic, knowledgeable, and cooperative. So how about providing them a travel companion who is defensive, has trouble communicating, a little wild, uninformed about themselves and the world around them, and has a bit of a temper?

But working with all these opposite traits didn't feel in-character for Elfilin anymore. So my natural next step was to swap Elfilin with Elfilis and make a new version of the Forgotten Land's lost little pup!

Enough yapping about the context behind my decisions, tho. How'd I come up with Roleswap Elfilis' design?

I see you out there, Fecto Forgo fans. Maybe somebody out there's thought, "Roleswap Elfilis does not look like them! Why not? That's what the other 50% of the Ultimate Life Form looks like! I demand justice for the angry glowing rat fetus!"

Maybe nobody has ever thought this. But I wonder sometimes lol

Your feelings are valid, friends. Please lemme explain my reasonings.

This fella, to me, is the abandoned wet specimen left to float in a jar for who-knows-how-long after a forcible physical and mental separation via spatial teleportation shenanigans. And I think part of their appearance is due to their role as the trapped and forgotten half.

The role of the half that got away fully formed his own body and inherited some traits from the complete being-

For Elfilin in canon, he got ears that are proportionally huge compared to the rest of his body, blue eyes that sparkle with the light of a thousand destroyed planets, a tiny bit of pink fur for his adorable blushies, and a really long fluffy tail. Maybe becoming a being free of chaos gave him those sweet eyes like Kirby and the Waddle Dees have.

My reasoning is that whichever half ends up escaping the Lab and fully forming their own body, they would carry the major physical traits the other wouldn't inherit.

Anyway, that left Elfilis with the horns, colorful and expressive eyes, whiskers, beige chest fluff, opposable thumbs, and pink tummy fur.

Elfilin gets the long tail in the bodily divorce so Elfilis has a short stubby little cotton tail like a bunny. Like if he ended up with just the very tip of the Ultimate Life Form's tail.

Behold this diagram above I came up with two years ago! Disclaimer: the canon Elfilin is the one in the chart. And I draw him a little differently these days lol. I ain't showing anyone how he ended up in the Roleswap yet tho!!!! >:0

But Roleswap Elfilis is more than just "baby version of the Ultimate Life Form..."

All the differences in the Forgotten Land Roleswap from canon stem from one event in the timeline. One change that I added to the events that were already supposed to take place. It's why the Ultimate Life Form split differently. Why the Beasts have different roles and aesthetics. Even why the portal took Bandana Dee and Kirby before Meta Knight and King Dedede.

How did that saying go again? The flap of wings somewhere can influence a bunch of huge changes somewhere else down the line...? What was the name of that theory again....? Hmm. Not important, I guess.

Anyway, the end!! You sly dog, you got me monologuing!!1! /lighthearted

[valrvn]

SURVEY BREAKDOWN

(long post warning)

**A FEW DISCLAIMERS**

I AM NOT A SCIENTIST, I AM A HUMANITIES BITCH. My math skills are limited, and I have no training on processing/presenting this sort of data. I am also one person with a shitty laptop, an unreliable internet connection, and a very busy personal life. Take all of this with an extremely large grain of salt.

Participants are self-reporting. They may not know for sure, they may be wrong, they may be lying. I took everyone here at their word. I tried not to extrapolate much from what they were saying, because I do not want to misrepresent what they said.

I will be covering why people thought they developed this fetish in a later post because this is already too long.

Gender of Participants

*According to a 2024 survey, 1.14% of American adults identify as transgender, while 1.52% do not identify as male, female, or trans (some of whom identified as Non-Binary.) That makes the presence of trans and non-binary participants VASTLY disproportional to the American average. I'm sure some of it can be explained by younger people being more likely to identify as not cis, and younger people using the internet far more than the older generations. I also read a paper once that suggested the internet was responsible for the development of more niche fetishes. It's also possible that trans people are more likely to be comfortable engaging with communities surrounding 'deviant' sexual interests because they've already been labeled 'abnormal' (BUT THESE ARE ALL JUST GUESSES). What I theorize is that, because pregnancy is inextricable from sex organs and gender rolls, trans people (ESPECIALLY AFAB trans/non-binary people) are more likely to have those early, strong emotional reactions to pregnancy that seem to develop into fetishes. I'll get into this more on my next post.

*cis women outnumbering cis men was not something I was expecting, but makes sense, since young girls often have to think about pregnancy much sooner than boys, and it threatens to have a much greater impact on their life.

*in retrospect, I wish I'd included a question on how the participants found the survey, since knowing might help explain the disparity between trans and cis people.

Sexuality of Participants

*most (but not all) of the people who chose "other" wrote in an ace-spec identity not included in the above choices (ace lesbian, demi-sexual, etc.,)

Content of Fetish Material Consumed

*the vast majority of participants selected multiple answers, the exception to this was straight cis men, who often only selected the 'Cis Female Pregnancy' option (a small percentage of this group also answered femboys). The minority of straight cis men who chose other options most often fantasized about becoming pregnant themselves.

When the Fetish was Developed

*One person wrote in that they didn't believe children could have fetishes. Their entry was shortly followed by one from someone who described frequently masturbating to fantasies surrounding pregnancy at the age of 5. This isn't important to the overall data, I just find it funny.

How Great a Role does the Participants' Fetish Play in their Achieving Arousal?

How Great a Role does Sex Play in the Participants' Fetish Related Fantasies?

Did the Participants' Pregnancy Fetish Play a Role in their First Time Experiencing Arousal?

*most of the "it's complicated" answers were people who couldn't remember their first time experiencing arousal.

...

That's the basics down, stay tuned for a breakdown of why people think they developed their fetish.

(will be linked when post is done).

[rivangel]

Hello! Hope you're doing well 🫂 I was wondering, do you think Levi would be the type to let his s/o go to bed upset? What would he do if his s/o just got up and left the room, or house actually, after an argument? Or they sleep on the couch? If they started to cry during an argument or asked for space, what would he do?

And, and, How would Levi deal with an s/o that gives the silent treatment or just straight up avoids him like the plague after an argument?

I hope my questions don't overwhelm you😅 I just had many things come to my mind all at once and I didn't want to forget to ask them later. I'd love to hear your thoughts! I think you talk about Levi and explain him and his weird self the best, heh. And thank you!

Have a good day/night🤍

hiii! >-< dw i love to talk about levi☺️☺️and thanks :'))

here's a question i answered that will help answer this :)) but i'm going to revamp it and add on.

disclaimer, my take is probably controversial because i think i hc (canonverse) levi as a lot more flawed than some other people do, but it makes sense to me🧍🏻i see him as really inexperienced/bad at relationships, so he can mess up if he doesn’t know better.

Levi doesn’t yell, or ever “lose control”: he’s passive aggressive when he’s angry, and he’s in complete control of himself the whole time. (he can be cruel in arguments with others also?? but not his partner.)

but, he’s also someone who doesn’t mind being wrong, and going with your best judgment/giving in. he’s deeply empathetic and would understand the feelings in your side anyway.

but REALLY, he prefers to avoid personal conflict whenever possible because he doesn’t want to lose a loved one, even if it can be argued that he’s in the right.

1: he would let his partner go to bed upset if he didn’t think there was a way to solve the conflict asap. there’s something he truly can’t stand about going your separate ways - so to speak - before a fight is over (abandonment issues :P), but it’s not productive to force a solution.

he won’t be sleeping, though. he’s up probably the whole night thinking of what to do, and how to solve things.

2: you leaving the room after an argument is a lotttt different than you leaving the house. first: one of his major vices is his propensity to be petty, and cover up the distress he feels with aggravation. if they abruptly left the room to cool off, if he didn’t know any better, he’d take this as a challenge. (subconsciously, i think it’s a matter of never having his needs met when he was a kid, and so when you leave, which he’s also accustomed to, he’s conditioned to follow you and make you even more angry so that you know he’s angry, with the explicit goal of getting back at you - because he’s hurt.) he’d probably end up reigniting the argument by accident.

if you left the house, well… Levi’s the type of person who - especially if he’s mad - thinks you can “fuck off” for all he cares, but that REALLY doesn’t last long. soon he’s uncontrollably fixating on the feeling that you’ve abandoned him, or at least you would rather abandon him than argue with him. pretty unequivocally, if you did this he would agree to almost anything when you come back. (please don’t do that!!) (at least tell him where you’re going!!) (communicate better!!)

3: if you volunteered to sleep on the couch, Levi would simply get you to take the bed :s even if this starts another spat, you are the one who gets the comfortable bed. if you somehow manage to be more stubborn than him (props to you), Levi would rather sleep on the bedroom floor. or again, not sleep.

4: if you started to cry during an argument, he wouldn’t really know what to do except be quiet, but he’d instantly feel horrible. again, he really hates arguing, so he’d stop, and sit down to maybe get you to do the same.

if you ask for space, i think it depends on the nature of the argument, but he will. again, he doesn’t like arguing at all :/

5: avoiding/silent treatment is pretty much Levi’s go-to, so someone’s going to have to break the stalemate and he is as stubborn as a mule, so good luck. i can see him taking it as far as it needs to, with the defense that you’re being immature while he’s literally being just as immature. (please communicate.)

| more Levi |

[shaunashipman]

I don’t mean this as a diss, but I feel like if certain buddie shippers get buddie they still won’t be satisfied? I hope that makes sense. It’s just as a lurker in this fandom there’s a clear difference in both sides. One keeps moving goal posts (as others said) and quite literally conspiring every little thing in interviews, actors social media, and even plotting against people, and I know the others aren’t innocent all the way but they’re handling their ship with a more open minded attitude. I guess what I’m trying to say is if their day does come of a canon buddie, don’t they think they should calm down a little? Maybe it’s just me but carrying all these negative emotions and unleashing them so big before what they’re calling the “path to Buddie” but I don’t think I’d be completely satisfied celebrating. And then I worry their expectations are too big for what the actors and writers can deliver, especially if it’s hard to break from their habit as shippers.

oh they most definitely won't be satisfied, they've built it up too big. they'd cheer in the moment, however it would happen, but by the next episode, when it doesn't become the Buddie Show and their relationship isn't shown exactly as they pictured, they'll riot. because they want a fanfic played out by the actors, not the actual show

and I think the bucktommy side has taken notice and we've consciously tried to do the opposite. yeah, some of us were probably disappointed we didn't get more of them in the last two eps (🙋‍♀️) but the majority of us had been sure to temper our expectations in all our theorizing, so we were more than happy with what we did get; even with all my thoughts on how s8 will go, I still remind myself that Lou isn't confirmed yet, there could still be a between seasons break up, whether for creative or practical reasons. I'd be extremely disappointed, and think it would make very little sense from a creative pov giving where they left off, but it's still something I keep in mind (if at the very back lmao) and I think a lot of others do too

it kind of sucks that we do have to basically add these disclaimers, when before fandom would just understand that, even with canon ships, 99% of what we speculated was never going to happen, but with the wall between the cast/crew and the fans being so eroded, it's important to keep it in mind

[chochuuya]

boy next door.

hanma shuji x fem!reader

disclaimers: hair down and glasses hanma is in mind, he calls you miss perfect, slow burn kinda, college/uni setting, mentions of weed & alcohol, you & him are of the same age, hanma shuji in general 🚬

note: please do read with precaution. more suitable for those 18+, even though the overall fic is fluff and this is a sfw blog (^^ゞ

word count: 2.2k [2262]

it’s been a few weeks since you’ve moved into a new neighbourhood, finally gaining independence and a new start in university.

the problem is, it’s anything but positive.

boom. boom. boom.

you swore that you could feel your windows pane rattle due to the loud music coming from next door.

trying to keep your cool, you found yourself in front of your new neighbour’s doorstep, apparently named hanma shuji. you shouldn’t have to be doing this. again. it’s 2 in the morning.

you knocked his door, hoping to get an answer or at least tell him to lower down his music.

there’s no response from within.

you knock a little louder and a second later, his front door swings open.

hanma, wearing only boxers, leans on the door’s frame, rubbing his eyes. his hair is disheveled and his voice is hoarse when he speaks to you.

“...what?”

unfazed by his appearance, you sighed before explaining yourself. “for the fifth time this week hanma, can you please lower down your volume? people are trying to sleep.”

he just stares at you, his brow furrowing. his gaze is... piercing and cold.

“look, i don’t really care about people trying to sleep. its friday; i have a party to throw.”

“at 2 am?” you didn’t even try to sneak a peek at his place. you would rather not.

hanma rolled his eyes.

“it's early; the majority aren’t here yet. but the ones that are here are having a good time.”

you stayed quiet, trying to process his words.

“fine, whatever. do whatever you please.”

he smirked, noticing your reaction and gives a mocking smirk.

“if you’re going to act like a grouch, go back to bed. it’s not like you’re invited anyway. i don’t like the look of you, miss perfect.”

“don’t like the way i look but calls me that.. what an idiot.” you mumbled to yourself and went back to your house, which is oh, so conveniently next to his.

he watched as you started to walk away.

“oh, you aren’t leaving already, are you? i thought you wanted to have a discussion with me.”

“what discussion? i only asked you to turn down your music, hanma.” you deadpanned. “good night.” you went back to the comfort of your own home.

he didn’t like that. the volume of the music increased again. the thumping and bass became even louder than before, probably just to annoy you.

you heard footsteps approaching your front door, and him knocking loudly. “hey, come out. i just wanted to talk.”

you opened the door a tiny bit as you glare at him irritated.

“what is it that you want now?”

“what i want?” he asked bitterly. “i want you to stop being such a goddamn prude.”

taken aback by that remark, you opened your door wider and your arms crossed.

“excuse me?”

hanma stepped forward, towering over you. his face was just inches away from yours, with your head tilted upward to look at him.

“i said, don’t be so uptight. just come to one of my parties already, you stick-in-the-mud.”

“i'd rather be sleeping.”

he was speechless and eyes widened as he looked down at you.

“you’re not serious, right? you’d rather be sleeping, rather than partying? it’s a friday night! everyone’s having fun, but you choose to be a loner instead?” his tone was dripping with sarcasm and he couldn’t help but sneer.

“yeah, so good night.” you closed your door once more and actually turned off the lights, trying to shoo him away.

“no wait, come ba—”

he tried opening your door, but it was locked.

“damn it...” he muttered to himself, before returning to his own home. the music continued to go on through the night.

the next two weeks went by without the hanma shuji hosting another party. the peace had been restored, and you started to relax...

..that is, until the following tuesday.

you woke up at the ungodly hour of 4 in the morning, the loud roaring music of another party disturbing your sleep. you covered your ears in annoyance and got up to investigate.

you knocked on his door.

there he is.. just in boxers, opening his door again. his hair was wild but still somehow looked good on him. he yawned and his voice sounded raspy.

“what do you want? it’s 4am.” he stared at you sleepily, a small smirk forming on his lips as he remembered your previous encounter.

you eyed him sharply, annoyed. “how did you even sleep with music that loud?! turn it down, hanma.”

the music started again, now slightly quieter. he turned to you and once again, he did not hold back his words as they came out sharp.

“what, didn’t your parents ever teach you to mind your own business? stay in your lane, miss perfect. nobody asked you to butt into my matters and my lifestyle.”

he pushed his hair away from his face and rolled his eyes, as if your request was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard.

oh, you hoped he finds his brain back there with the amount of times he have been rolling his eyes every time you both talk.

“when your loud ass music comes to my range of hearing, it is already my business hanma. you're going to be the death of me one day.”

before you could make it back into your house, he walked up next to you, looking down at you once again.

“awww, that’s cute of you to assume that i’d ever let my music be the death of you.” his voice was cold and sarcastic, but the way he said it... sent chills down your spine.

“night's still young, and my party’s just getting going. do you mind if you... join in?”

“yes i would mind.”

typical hanma looked you up and down for a good few seconds, as if trying to decide whether or not he should keep pestering you. his gaze was sharp, and almost unsettling. and to your surprise, he actually chuckled at you.

“oh come on! i’m not letting you off that easily. i want to see you let loose for one night. you need a break from that uptight and workaholic personality you’ve got going on.”

“i don’t see the point of having parties at 4 in the morning.”

he chuckled again.

“because it’s a party, (y/n). you don’t see the point? well, let me show you then. come join us.” he took your arm and held it, waiting for a response from you.

“fine but i won’t stay long.” you reluctantly followed him into his place.

“us?” you thought to yourself.

almost immediately, the strong smell of cigarette and people almost knocked you out. your eyes dart everywhere at the crowd and felt out of place.

as soon as you walk in, you notice a few people standing against various walls in the living room. there’s also people dancing and sitting on the couch, chatting away. the smell of the devil’s lettuce is overwhelming, and it feels strange to see this side of your neighbourhood.

hanma led you to the couch where he sat, looking at you and grinning. “sit with me!” he gestured to the couch.

“make yourself at home.”

you had to cover your nose and mouth with a hand or else you would start to cough like a kid. you sit next to him anyway, since it is probably the safest.

hanma laughed at your reaction, not even bothering trying to mask his smirk.

“don’t be so dramatic, (y/n). it’s just pot!” he chuckled. “here.”

he handed you what appeared to be a.. cancer stick in your eyes.

“oh no, thank you.” you declined his offer, shaking your head.

he chuckled again — he was probably quite entertained by your reactions tonight.

“oh, come on. live a little!” he raised the joint near your face, almost forcing you to take it.

“i’m leaving if you push it any further.” you deadpanned.

he narrowed his eyes, but eventually let out a sigh.

“fiiiine, you have no fun.” he said mockingly. he took a huge hit from his cig and then exhaled the smoke slowly, before grinning at you.

“how about... just have a sip of my beer, then?you can’t be that picky when it comes to alcohol, miss perfect.”

you may not be much of a drinker but you can handle it. you hesitantly took the beer from his hand— force of habit, you wiped the opening with your hoodie before taking a sip.

“there.” you gave it back to him.

he giggled and stared at you with his arms crossed. his gaze was almost piercing. he didn’t say anything for a moment, probably waiting to tease you more.

“how old are you, again, (y/n)?”

“you don’t ask a lady that, hanma.”

he laughed. “oh, shut up. that’s a pathetic response. you’re in college, right? then just tell me your age already. you’re obviously not a little girl, so just tell me and drop the act for a second.”

you were getting irritated by the minute and feeling humid too from the crowd.

“you first.”

he smirked at your response. “fine, i'm __. now your turn, miss prude.”

you swear he just knows how to annoy you every time. you rolled your eyes.

“same age then, jerk.”

“well, well. same age, huh? that’s funny, i’d think you were way older since you act like, i don’t know... a grandma?” he laughed at his own joke as he took a sip out of his drink.

the night, or should i say morning.. dragged on until you managed to escape from his party. you took the opportunity to sleep until the actual morning.

you woke up feeling fresh and did your usual routine before throwing away your trash.

you made your way to the outside bins and that’s when you notice hanma was standing next to you. he stared at you with his piercing eyes, no surprise there.

“you know, the more that i see you around, the more annoyed i get. you’re a walking headache, (y/n).” he had an annoying smirk on his face once again — his way of trying to wind you up.

“good morning to you too, i guess.” you said nonchalantly as you threw away the trash.

hanma didn’t reply to you right away, just watched you throw away your trash without a word. you noticed that he seemed... distracted, his gaze wandering from you, to something or someone else.

something was annoying him.

“you just woke up, yet you look better than i do.” he said, his voice low. even for hanma, it was an unusual comment, as if he was trying to... compliment you?

you raised an eyebrow. “..thank you?”

you would give a more.. sassy reply like he should cut down on the damn cigs and alcohol but maybe next time.

he chuckled softly and leaned up against the wall. “no problem. i’m just saying you look good.”

he stared at you for a good few seconds, then finally spoke up again.

“do you have anything planned right now?”

“not really but—”

“you want to grab a cup of coffee with me?” he asked bluntly. he waited for a response. of course, he had a smirk on his face again, as if he was expecting you to refuse and then for him to say something smart or sarcastic in response.

you couldn’t believe your own ears and looked at him as if he transformed into a different person.

“i’m sorry, what?”

he shrugged, his tone slightly softer.

“i’m asking you out for coffee.” he looked at you as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “i’d like to get to know you.”

“uh.. sure, coffee it is.” you were still slightly surprised though but he asked nicely.

hanma nodded to you and if you were quick and had looked closely, he smiled to the ground. his eyes seemed less sharp than before.

“good. let’s go now.” he then offered you a hand to hold, waiting for you to accept.

“and stop acting so surprised. i’m not such a bad person, you know.”

“well, you are annoying.” you took your hand in his anyway.

he nodded in agreement, chuckling to himself. he was actually quite surprised that you accepted his offer so quickly.

both of you went and walked off together to a nearby coffee shop.

“do you have a boyfriend, or anything?” he asked out of nowhere.

that caught you off guard and almost made you choke on your own spit. you looked up to him in disbelief.

“right off the bat??”

he shrugged as he walked beside you.

“i’ve never liked beating around the bush, it pisses me off. besides, that way, i know if i have any chance of getting to know you more without stepping on some other guy or chick's toes.”

he was completely unbothered by your reaction to his question. in fact, he didn’t seem to care.

“what’s the big deal with that question?” he smirked. “answer the question, (y/n).”

“no, i don’t have one hanma.”

“i’m.. actually surprised. so, i have a chance huh?”

you scoffed. you knew that he was just trying to gouge a reaction out of you. shortly after, you two arrived to the coffee shop.

he ordered an iced coffee for himself, and got one for you as well. hanma's gaze was still fixated on you.

“so, what’s someone like you doing being single?”

oh, he isn’t wasting any time eh?

please do not steal, copy, translate, repost to other sites or claim my writings as your own. plagiarism is real!

💌 hanma for ray!! @h4nman

this is.. the longest solo character fic i've ever written. just testing the waters hehe ＼＿ﾍ(ω・｀) all likes & reblogs are vv much appreciated! ♡

[glitchedsoftware]

well its been long enough so here it is -

My personal thoughts and issues with Sammy Lawrences characterization in Dreams Come to Life

little disclaimer im obviously gonna be pretty negative in this so if you like the books good for you!! i just want to put my thoughts on the matter out there its just some silly indie horror game book and i wouldnt take others opinions TOO seriously lol also spoilers for dctl of course

also another little edit - a majority of this was written before the graphic novel came out,, not like that changes anything rlly just yk remember im exclusively talking about the original novel here

Lets start with the most obvious point first - the racism/misogyny

The idea that Sammy's racist and misogynistic mainly stems from two parts from the book - the part where Sammy refers to Tom by his first name instead of "Mr Connor" to which Tom replies quote "Not used to giving someone like me respect?" and the part where he refers to Abby by her first name with Buddy directly stating how he wonders if this could mean Sammy has some sort of bigoted views.

Now of course he does consider if this is just a habit of his, but it is pretty unclear if that's the case. This weirdly vague and ambiguous way of writing a fan favorite character to be racist and misogynistic is just generally very weird to me. Before anyone tells me I am aware of the fact a former kindly beast member claimed that Toms race had nothing to do with it and Sammy just said that because he's a repairman or whatever, but that still doesn't remotely change the fact that it can easily be read as Sammy being racist.

(Also even in said screenshot they said how could be easily interpreted as that. Also they didn't even write the book obviously so that whole point just falls flat.)

To be fair, there is a line from Buddys first encounter with Sammy in which he also refers to Joey by first name, which could imply Buddys other conclusion was correct and that its just a habit of his.

However, I'd argue this small details pretty easy to miss (even I almost forgot about it while writing this) especially considering the only other people he refers to by any sort of name was Tom and Abby. That paired with the other two scene previously stated still make this very easy to misinterpret and even considering this, very confusing on if Sammy was written with the intention of him being racist. Also Sammys bigotry in this book being conflicted by literally one word kinda speaks for itself. It's just super weird and definitely should have been handled better. If you don't know how to write topics like this with the amount of care they deserve then you don't need to write them. On another note, Sammy being racist or misogynistic just wouldn't affect the story or world building in any sort of meaningful way. Whether he was supposed to be bigoted or not, it has no bearing on the story or characters. Any time It's even slightly implied this could affect someone it's just super underdeveloped which makes this whole thing just feel completely pointless and unnecessary. It really does just come off like it was just thrown in there to "make it more realistic to the time period" instead of working it into the story in any meaningful way that actually works, or any sort of commentary on that sorta thing other than just "racism and misogyny exist".

On a related note, I saw someone speak out about how they interpreted specifically the scene with Tom to be intended not to show that Sammy's racist, but to show how Tom would assume that it was about his race considering he's of course a black man in the 1940s and has clearly faced discrimination over that before. I could almost see how that could be perceived, but that along with the part with Abby really makes me contemplate if that was really the intention behind that scene. Also, as I said before, it isn't really expanded on how that would affect Tom. I get that that could just be because Tom is supposed to be more of a rude abrasive kinda guy, I'm not expecting him to cry over it or something. I just feel it should have either been a bit more developed on, or not been there at all. I'm all for subtly, I love how the subtle misogyny is shown in BatIM with the Alice angel merchandise not selling as well as other products, but if that's what they were going for I think this was a bad way of doing it. If you wanted to portray how this kind of bigotry affects people, maybe choosing the rude asshole character who doesn't really seem to give a shit wasn't really the best idea. (Also who's in the games implied to be classist but that's a whole other conversation) Sorry for the little detour away from discussing just Sammy, I just felt it was important since I do get where that point was coming from, I just still feel like the execution of it all was FAR from perfect.

Also overall the idea that Sammy would be racist or misogynistic is just awfully misunderstanding Sammys character and it just really fails at what its trying to do. Sammy is shown to have had a genuinely strong relationship with Susie (whether you interpret it as romantic or not) and never shown to have seen women as less than, quite the opposite actually. I saw someone say Sammy being bigoted doesn't make sense because "he doesn't respect anybody" and I heavily disagree. I think it doesn't work because he does care so much about people. In the cycle Sammy isn't shown to be selfish at all, like he's not just trying to free himself but also others (albeit through sacrificing Henry, and even then describes that as seeming "cruel"). You know it's "he will set us free". Whether he himself knows or not, Sammy does care about people deeply so him being bigoted just really doesn't work at all.

I just generally thought the topic of discrimination was handled pretty bad. I could go on and on about this subject alone, but hopefully I was able to get my point across.

Now with that out of the way I can discuss just the general mischaracterization and demonization of Sammys character

This obviously being a more broad subject makes it a little difficult to start so let me just start with this- I believe that Sammys character get heavily dumbed down to just being an asshole. I of course have no problem with Sammy being a bit of a dick considering the sort of sarcastic tone he's shown to have had in certain audio logs, but the problem arises when that is practically all he is shown to be. Looking through every scene with him, all he ever did was just be super rude to everyone and eventually go insane and kill people and talk about worshiping Bendy or whatever with little depth. This, in my opinion, makes him both weak as a character and antagonist. I mean, Buddy only first met Sammy the DAY he got infected by the ink. He never even knew what Sammy was like before that incident which REALLY makes the line "I just know that Sammy isn't Sammy anymore" make no sense. Buddy never knew Sammy, he only knew the one dimensional character we got in Dreams Come to Life.

After looking through all of Sammys characterization outside the novels I can clearly deduce that Sammy was never even explicitly the sort of condescending asshole hes shown to be in Dreams Come to Life, but was just a bit blunt and stern due to the stress of working at the studio. I get that some people just chock up his behavior to the fact that he had been drinking ink at the time or whatever, but again the fact we're never shown how he was before that just makes this feel like overall bad writing to me. It just feels like a very poor attempt at writing Sammy that lacks any sort of nuance his character was shown to have. Characters have intended purposes, and I believe Sammys was to display a character who was so overworked it drove him to insanity. Part of the reason he even worships Bendy is just because the unhealthy hours he would spend working forced him to have to see his stupid face everywhere, not the whole ink addiction thing the book goes with. It's one thing to make him unnecessarily rude, but the thing is that they never really deviate from him being just that, which just left his character feeling very flat and lackluster to me. Buddy being an "unreliable narrator" doesn't excuse this both because Buddy only states that he sometimes forgets the order of events, not the actual events themselves, and, as I said before, it never deviates from this view of Sammy. I don't even think Buddy was supposed to be an "unreliable narrator" in that way as I've heard people excuse this for. If all of Sammys mischaracterization was because of that, than like half of the book would just be Buddy completely making shit up, which clearly isn't the case. The book just genuinely tries to portray Sammy in some of the worst light ever.

All that along with the the whole implied bigotry thing I just discussed really makes it seem like they tried dehumanizing Sammy as much as possible, which really goes against one of the core messages of BatIM. Sammy just being some asshole who got addicted to ink and went crazy because of it is FAR less interesting or emotionally compelling than him being an abused overworked employee and a prime example of what working at the studio can do to someone. Stripping him of that in favor of making it that he's always just been a total dick just completely misses a lot of the point of Sammys character and even BatIM as a whole. It's not just a game about "ooh scary ink" or whatever, it's also a game about corporate greed, capitalism and obviously how big corporations abuse and manipulate their minimum wage workers. And that's what Sammy is. He's not "evil" he's just a victim of a highly unhealthy work environment. Sammy being overworked to death (literally) is something that is barely, if at all, developed on in the book weirdly enough, despite being a very interesting part of his character that they had every opportunity to explore. It feels almost like they explicitly tried making Sammy so unsympathetic so he could be a more "evil" antagonist which, in turn, makes him a very poorly written antagonist lacking depth and completely missing anything that made his character so interesting. Again they just took Sammy being a bit irritable and sarcastic and wrote him as being a genuinely bad person, which really bugs me for sorta personal reason I'll get into in this next section.

Why this matters (to me)

I feel its of importance that I discuss how writing an implied mentally ill/neurodivergent character in such a demonizing way can, whether intentional or not, come off as ableist. TO MAKE THIS CLEAR I am NOT stating Adrienne Kress is ableist. This is overall just a much larger issue in general that definitely could have a discussion of it's own. However I will be briefly talking about it since it does unfortunately relate to dreams come to life.

As I said before, Sammy is a victim. Yes, he's still a morally grey character who generally does bad things with good intentions, but hes still a character. The way Sammy is shown to act and have acted in the past is very likely because he was mentally ill and possibly autistic. Taking an actually nuanced character like that who was clearly just extremely mentally unwell and writing it that he's some evil irredeemable asshole has always just rubbed me the wrong way. As an autistic person myself, I've always kinda had issues with regulating my emotions and coming off as "too blunt", so seeing a character who also has those traits be warped into being a "bad person" just. Really sucks.

When I read Dreams Come to Life, I had always sorta read Buddy as being autistic, all though this coding could have been unintentional. For instance, he's shown to not fully get some social cues and mentions feeling like people would kinda talk down to him for not getting certain things. This being the case really confused me for a bit as to why Sammy was demonized for also displaying traits of autism until it finally hit me as to why that is. It's likely because Sammy shows symptoms that are unfortunately far more stigmatized by society. Lack of emotional/impulse control can obviously lead to someone being more prone to lashing out than other people would, and I hate how just in general people or even characters who do that are labeled as "bad people" since that clearly isn't true. Again, he's not evil or whatever, he's just extremely stressed and overworked. That's all it ever was.

Sorry for getting a bit personal, in case it wasn't obvious I'm just very passionate about this character (and franchise in general) and just wanted to discuss how I personally perceived certain things. I'm sure I wasn't supposed to read into it THIS much and I know I'm probably stretching with this. Again, I VERY HIGHLY doubt Adrienne Kress intended for Sammys writing to be read as ableist, just felt like getting my thoughts out there (regardless of how insane I probably sound)

Conclusion

To sum it all up, I just found Sammy character to be heavily flanderized and lacking a lot of the things that I personally loved so much about him, as well as finding the way bigotry was portrayed to be very nothing. It just overall didn't build on what we know about Sammys character in game in any interesting way, at least to me. Despite how long this was, I honestly don't really mind people who enjoy the books, this wasn't some personal dig on anyone of course lol. Hell, I'm even friends with some people who like Dreams Come to Life!! I've tried putting different perspectives into writing this, and I've obviously concluded that this, on top of just a bunch of general issues with the book, have just made me personally unable to like it. I'm fine with people liking the books, however I do wish people would actually criticize them more than they do. Like, you're allowed to criticize the things you like, especially with a franchise as flawed as Bendy lmao

Anyways that's pretty much it. Thanks for listening to me ramble about this silly little series I'm hyperfixated on <3

[vhstown]

writing neutral readers; a guide

(neutral = unspecified gender, race, appearance, etc.)

hi hi here's vee, the one of (hopefully) many neutral fic writers for atsv, showing YOU how to write a neutral reader for your character x reader fic!!!!

this is mainly about romantic x reader fics!!

lil disclaimer: you don't have to write neutral readers if you don't want to! this is just for people who do and might want some advice :) all of these are what works for me — there are plenty of ways to write a neutral reader!

contents page for your sanity:

avoiding white-coding

being gender-neutral

re-direction / re-phrasing

my general thoughts and opinions

before we get started: why are neutral readers great?

inclusivity! a lot of the times it can be hard to find a fic right for you especially if they tend to be for a certain demographic

forces you to think outside of the box — you can't rely on describing the reader, so you have to describe character interactions more creatively (as you'll see me try to do a lot in this post 😭)

helps with immersion! a lot of the time overly-descriptive reader inserts can make it hard to... actually insert yourself into them

your fics can reach a lot more people if they're neutral (though this is just an added bonus lol)

some colour-coding for your wellbeing: blue = general advice + examples, pink = my personal input

1. avoiding white-coding

this is a big point i'd like to address first because it doesn't get talked about enough! and all of this is in reference to a post i saw like a week ago lmao

i haven't seen this term being used a lot but the general idea is when a piece of writing is catered towards a white reader (usually implied through description)

this is usually done unintentionally but avoiding white coding is an important part of writing totally neutrally!

general things to avoid

describing physical attributes such as hair + skin tone

for example describing hair as silky/smooth implies that it is straight + excludes the majority of other hair types / styles etc

also things like running your fingers through your hair can be impractical w certain hairstyles

i tend to just avoid hair in general ? if you want you can focus on other gestures (hand holding, cupping readers face or sumn)

or just reverse the roles entirely and have reader do the comforting gestures to the canon character

skin tone is definitely more subtle however it can be implied especially through things like blushing

people with darker skin tones DO blush, but it generally tends to be less visible or not at all

instead i tend to describe the feeling rather than the outward changes (face getting warm, getting flustered, heart rate increasing, sweating, stuttering etc)

2. being gender-neutral

okay this admittedly can be difficult to write sometimes

the general rule for a gender neutral reader is to avoid referring to the reader as male or female AND any physical description specific to a certain sex

gendered terms

some people like to use they/them when reader is referred to by other characters

instead of boyfriend/girlfriend you can use partner

i personally don't do these things as you'll see in my next point about re-direction!

there are PLENTY of gender neutral pet names in english

for languages like spanish which have masc and fem versions of words i tend to use nouns (usually non-living or abstract) which have a set gender (such as my heart, my love, etc — one of my favourites is cariño (darling) because it doesn't change based on gender)

though again i rarely write terms of endearment in other languages so i suggest you do your research!

physical terms (sfw only)

also for body inclusivity

again this mainly to try and avoid implying fem!reader but also body types just a tiny little bit

i tend to avoid mentioning body shape but if i do then i use something vague like "shape of your body" rather than "curves" or anything specific

you can just write down the body part without describing it physically (chest, waist thighs, etc)

eyelashes are ... unisex! no way!

you might want to avoid makeup but this is just a *general* suggestion

i tend to NOT describing clothing choices unless it's relevant to the premise of the fic — usually vague references like your school uniform, pajamas, shoes, favourite shirt, etc

you can also cheat this if reader is wearing the other character's clothes 😭 next point re-direction WOOO

3. re-direction / re-phrasing

(a personal choice of mine + totally optional)

re-direction is when you change the focus of a sentence in order to get rid of any words descriptions that may take away from the neutrality of the reader (as you see me talking about in the little pink text everywhere or in the little suggestions in blue)

Re-direction can be used for anything! I think there's a book that exists that uses no words with the letter e and a book that uses no pronouns at all (but don't ask me what they are because I have no clue)

It's not particularly easy or straightforward all the time and you might have to change more than one sentence but re-phrasing your writing can be a good challenge! (if you choose to do so)

for me i tend to re-direct to avoid using any sort of third person pronouns (he/she/they etc) or gendered terms and to avoid using insert tags like y/n

example on pronouns & gendered terms

for pronouns i usually change "he/she/they" to "you" or a noun

"She's not welcome here" could become "Your friend isn't welcome here"

Or the sentence may change entirely to convey the same meaning. The woman turned to you, speaking one simple command: "Get out."

I also tend to use more masc / neutral terms in casual settings like "dude" or "bro"

I also avoid the use of "partner" (though this is just nit-picky) ex. "Is this your partner?" might become "Oh, [character] talks about you all the time!" (entirely dependent on context and if you care enough lol — one of the less clear-cut redirections)

while you could obviously use they in this scenario i personally don't out of preference (to me they/them is an nb set of pronouns if the gender isn't ambiguous and blah blah blah) but it doesn't really matter

example on insert tags

"(Y/N), wait!" can become "Hey, wait!"

Or you could use "your name" rather than a placeholder. He called your name, running behind you. "Wait!"

like i mentioned before things like clothes and favourite foods all tend to revolve around the character rather than the reader. in a lot of cases writing about the foods the character likes or wearing the clothes the character owns can actually be more immersive than inserting your personal preferences into a pair of brackets (in my experience at least)

4. general thoughts and opinions

one big thing i wanted to point out is that it's actually good for your writing to "ban" yourself from using certain terms and descriptions. i find that i focus a lot more on describing events, emotions and character interactions rather than being caught up on the reader.

fem!reader and masc!reader are GREAT too! amazing beautiful wonderful keep writing those — but i think gender neutral readers help to avoid a lot of biases that might (albeit unintentionally) come with a specific gender

and being inclusive for all kinds of readers when you're writing a neutral reader is so important!

to conclude

if you exclusively write one type of reader that is absolutely fine :) write what you want and be happy doing it

neutral readers are GREAT but so difficult to write so pls don't worry if u mess up sometimes 👍

i am still figuring out ways to make my writing more inclusive and i wouldn't know without other people's input! so please feel free to drop ur personal gripes or advice

this post is subject to edits (cuz i always forget to add something and it is very ranty spammy random lol)

this post can be found in the "favourite posts" section of my navigation (pinned)!

reblogs r appreciated if u found it useful <3

[theotherseapancakes]

Psssst. You mentioned no one cares about Philemon, but now I'm curious if you have any thoughts about his role in the games after he disappeared. And for sillies sake, does he have anything to do with the Dance games?

I have been waiting my entire life for this. Anon do you realize how verbose I'm going to get. DO YOU REALIZE? I hope you like read mores. Let me preface this with I am aware and have seen some popular theories, so I'm going to sidestep a lot of them and present one I've built since... well, I became a Persona fan as a teenager. MAJOR PERSONA SERIES SPOILERS LIKE THE ENTIRE THING OK? OK. yes even royal.

The P2 PSP additional scenario is so incredibly important and I think everyone missed the point of it. THE PERSONA 2 PSP ADDITIONAL TATSUYA SCENARIO!!!! It's beyond important, because it reveals to us Philemon can have more than one Avatar we know about, just like Nyarly. (Casual reminder he's like half the shopkeeps in P2. Time Count, anyone? Why was the Time Count so hot. Anyway.) Disclaimer: I'm just a casual fan who has played a LOT of Persona and SMT. I haven't gotten around to all of them, but I've played/finished both paths of 1, 2, 3 (and p3p) as well as 4 and 5. Didn't manage to get my hands on Golden but I've seen enough of it. (It's funny you ask about the dance games, they're the only ones I don't have right now! But my roommate does, and will be gone for a few months soon, perhaps I will take the time to start with p4DAN. I'm atrocious at rhythm games though so more than likely I'll find a video. Anyway.) WHAT is Philemon? If we can't define that, we can't talk about The Positivity Guy Ever.

So let's talk about Phil. He's a fascinating character. His Persona is just a form of Himself, But Cooler. And he seems to HAVE no set shape, not unlike Nyarlathotep. People have various theories about Shadows and their origins etc., but Phil is more like that vote of confidence in people. I think, personally, that after the end of Innocent Sin, Phil's been pretty weak. We see in Eternal Punishment he's fading pretty roughly, and has a hard time talking to the party. Presumably ending Nyarly might to some degree fix things when Deja-vu Boy goes home, but... the problem is, we don't know how fixed they truly ended up being, or the full depth of how much he could/did expend!

In fact, the first time we even see Phil without the dumb mask is when Tatsuya decks him. Pay close attention to that fact. To the mask motifs here. I want you to really soak in Phil's everything. He's a leader. A kind soul. He's the good of people. He wants to believe the best.

Anyway, most of these things overlook what I find really interesting as we've gotten more games worth of lore: he and Nyarly aren't the only eldritch entities walking around like that. Yes, Nyx is one too. Yes, it's probable she may even be their 'mom'. It's possible they all came from Nyx initially, but it's also possible (and should be considered) they too may have been outsiders at one point. We need to ask ourselves how far the human collective unsconsciousness can go. Is that sea infinite? Could it affect other worlds? Think about Aion in Devil Summoner Soul Hackers 2. Yes, I am asking you to think about Soul Hackers 2. Deal with it, I don't care. They're sister series. They share many things. SO! Did the shape of the human mind change a bunch of eldritch creatures and make them interact with us even more after Nyx smacked the moon a gazillion years ago? Is there multiple worlds? Weird bullshit? Just the two? Hmm. Well... I, personally, think so. I think he was touched by humanity just like Nyarlathotep, but in the other way. The reason I bring this up is two-fold. The first is Nodens. Now, we don't know much about the actual Nodens, unfortunately, just some speculation. Which is a shame. (If anyone has more info I'd love to have it, ngl. As a pagan this shit fascinates me.) But what we do get on him in Lovecraftian lore can provide us some intriguing possibilities about Phil's everything, which the games love to keep really rather vague. (And this is putting aside that his human Persona is based off the obviously bogus Jungian Spirit Guide, but we love an old guy in a mask anyway. He probably felt that was more 'friendly' for humans, hah.) I believe that Nodens, and Phil by extension, are just as responsible for nurturing and keeping the collective unconsciousness alive and positive. We see the butterfly symbol everywhere. We see it with Lavenza, too. "This is truly an unjust game." So was the bet Phil made with Nyarly, a game he rigged. Phil made the mistake of thinking the Crawling Chaos wouldn't cheat, a mistake he is never making again, I assume, if he can help it. Shit, you could view his boss fight in P2EP as him trying to train the EP crew to beat the snot out of Nyarly, even. But off topic. If Nyarly is basically the father of all Shadows, and they and Personas are the same coin, it makes me wonder a lot of things. The two have always been portrayed as simultaneously diametrically opposed, but also not? They have identical halls in P2. They have similar powers and talents... I think after Persona 3, Phil's remnants sank into the Collective Unconsciousness, to attempt to rehabilitate humanity from what it lost, from what he himself lost. I think Igor took over the room, because he took a backseat to recover. It would go a long, long way towards explaining why only SOME characters have the tier of the Wild Card, which is similar to the 'original' Persona power. (Having multiple.) He was took weak to remain in his Spirit Guide (Philemon) form, and had to abandon it to return to the depths as Nodens... So. Let me go back to Nodens and make some notes about design.

Nodens, as seen here, sort of resembles an iron maiden. It really brings to mind the idea of maybe Tatsuya or someone's humanoid form sleeping within it, doesn't it? Fitting for an aspect of Philemon! ... You probably can see where I'm going with this, but let me pull up some screens to finish the point:

That's right! It's Azathoth, Baby! I believe that unlike mythology, he's yet another aspect of Philemon. Eldritch positivity, in too much force, could be used for accidental bad, too. (Reasons Maruki is my favorite Law Hero, haha.) Let me explain. I think Philemon always existed in... let's call it parts. Azathoth is said to be a dreaming god in whom's universe we all just happen to be alive inside, right? "Dream of butterfly" (Philemon) "Or is life a dream? Don't wanna wake up. Cuz I'm happy here." That sure is thematic to what Maki goes through in Persona 1, and what Maruki's beloved suffers, isn't it? ISN'T IT. The "true reality" he creates... would help Maruki create in the additional Semester--would be something most humans would never pass the muster to even try to control. But we have seen Phil test a few people and find them worth passing before! However, that seems like ages ago. Why has he been so quiet? I think because he was spending time conserving his energy. He believed in humanity enough to give Makoto a push when it was needed in p3 (or femc, if you play her), but otherwise trusted Igor while he restored what needed it. But in Persona 5 Royal, he hand-picked Maruki, didn't he? At first, when I played Persona 5 Royal, I really thought it was some part of Nyarly, but I no longer believe this to be the case. The coloration and symbolism in the background (the golds, the whole garden of eden themes, the way his Palace was laid out), the whole sea of soul motifs in P3Re later... mmm. I have a lot of thoughts about this, but this post is already way too long for one simple ask. So let's wrap up by going one step further and looking finally at Nodens' dialogue to the party in the Extra Scenario in Persona 2: Eternal Punishment (PSP). The following is a transcript, you can find a video here:

Nodens: This is the memory of the lost child whom you all seek. Nodens: Memory occasionally brings about much distress and suffering, but it is absolutely vital to distinguish oneself from others and manufacture one's own psyche. Nodens: Ever since it began, life's memory has accumulated unbroken, passing through individual experiences and spanning several generations. Nodens: And so it has given shape to Kadath and the Collective Unconsciousness, thereby becoming a foundation for the next generation. Nodens: Even if the roots of the world are directed by fear and anxiety, never forget that the true essence of life is brimming with joy. Nodens: You must not stop seeking the answer for why life was born in a cosmos progressing towards absurdity and chaos. Nodens: Life brims with joy, bringing about balance in a universe predestined to heat death, and that allows the world to live a long time.

So to answer your question, I think he's taken a much subtler role. I think he's influencing people by pretending to be a Persona for Maruki, because he believes it will help them grow. I don't think he was intending a forever-control vice grip, but rather to prove a point. No matter what, the primordial chaos of humanity will rise up for chaotic good, lawful good, whatever "good" is needed. Azathoth is... interesting. Adam Kadmon is also interesting. But mostly I HIGHLY suspect we may see him again in Persona 6, or at least I'm hoping so. It's my personal pet theory by then he'll be less faded and come back to us in a new form of some kind. He's never had a set one, after all. Now for funsies about the dancing game, well, he's a positive guy, he wanted to just make sure everyone had their fitness regimen checked off. Obviously. (This is a joke.) Did the devs intend this? I'm honestly not sure? Like there's a lot of nods to older Personas in 5 and now 3RE especially, but it's definitely worth chewing on. I could go on and on about things I think he's connected to, but ultimately they have the final say lol. I'm just a crackpot conspiracy theorist on tumblr who really likes Philemon. He and the Room are my favorites. :) Ask me about attendants for additional dumb, sometime, I guess lol.

[echantedtoon]

What If: Kokushibo Edition

DISCLAIMER: THIS WORK IS IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY CANNON TO DEMON BRIDE AND IS NOT AN ENDING. IT IS A WHAT IF IDEA THAT I THOUGHT WOULD BE FUN TO WRITE. PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND GOING FORWARD.

WARNINGS: One innuendo and mentions of pregnancy.

The world was a quiet place today. Just alone with his thoughts and own work. 

Widdle. Widdle. Widdle.

It was a rarity that nothing was planned for him today. No work. No responsibilities. No training. No plans. Just whatever he wanted to do today. Which again was rare but not unwelcome. He never did like being left unoccupied for too long however so it would be the perfect time to get the project he wanted to do done. Everything shall go precisely as planned.

Widdle. Widdle. Widdle.

No sounds except for the light bird chiros and the small movements of his hand held knife against the wood. The calloused hands continued their own work pushing the carving tool against the wood slicing off piece after piece little by little with precise knowing strokes. The small pieces falling onto his lap or bouncing off his legs to join the others on the floor. 

Widdle. Widdle-

...Ah. There she was.

STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. STOMP.

He didn't even bother looking up as the angry footsteps approached. He knew she was coming towards him long before he even heard her. The force behind the angry footfalls for told the approaching woman's anger but again he was expecting that from the start. He felt no fear as the floor thuds stopped directly behind him. Not even bothering to stop his woodworking.

"REALLY!?"

"You have arrived...I was honestly expecting you..sooner." A hand brought up the tiny wooden piece to a maw holding a jawful of fangs. A breath blowing away any small pieces of wood splinters.

"Do you want to explain a few things going on?"

He finally bothered to turn his head slightly. Standing above him was a woman. Purple eyes staring down at him. Her pretty face brought a fragrance of hydrangeas with her, a familiar scent that calmed his senses. Her expression was one of annoyance which he had been expecting. 

"What ever do you mean?"

"Oh don't play games with me." She frowned more before pointing at his face. "I wanted something specific from the kitchen for breakfast today and I was denied but I was given options. Options from a diet plan I was told YOU put into place for me."

"Oh yes. That. ...You are correct." His eyes turned back to the work in his hands-

"Kokushibo, don't you ignore me!" You marched around to stand in front of him as he continued working on whatever it is he was doing. "That's not the only thing you've decided to go out and do! I also found out from Akaza that you ordered him to stop training me for the next ten months!"

"Correct...Hand to hand combat is dangerous...for your body right now...It could put stress on you...or you could get struck in the stomach ...and I won't allow that."

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!! I also found out that you placed Kaigaku in charge of guarding me?!"

"I'd prefer you to have ..extra protection during this time."

"You scheduled me a doctor appointment for tomorrow without asking me?!"

"I need to be able to.. monitor your health."

"You assigned nannies to 'help me with the boy's?!"

"You'll need the extra help for them."

"...When did you stop trusting me?" You gave a desperate ask making the top pair of eyes turn to you but he didn't pause his work. "If I gave you a reason to doubt I can take care of myself let alone the boys then just...Tell me what I did wrong?" Your arms flopped to your sides. "What did I do to make you lose faith in me?"

"Nothing...You haven't done anything...to make me have that opinion of you... You're capable."

You again held your arms up with a major look of disbelief. "Then why all the sudden changes without telling me first? I'm not hurt and you just said I'm capable. If you think I'm pushing myself too hard, I'll try to fix it but you have to tell me why first."

"Hm... You're certain?"

"You're my husband. I didn't think there'd be secrets between us. Koku..." Hands  reached out to grab his cheeks making him pause his work and turn up to your worried look. "You promised me no secrets or lies on your vows. Honor that."

There was was from him before he sighed through his nose. "As you wish..You would have found out...from the doctor tomorrow...anyways."

"Find out what?"

"You're two weeks pregnant."

Silence. He stared as your body just... paused as if you were in a picture perfectly frozen in time. Your eyes staring ahead of you at him. Mouth closed in a small line. His bottom eyes peeked down as he continued his woodworking unsurprised by your reaction. There was silence still as you remained still... eventually you opened your mouth slightly-

"Twins", he answered matter of factly, "Both male."

You just sat there..your brain spaced out and there was a ringing in your ears as you blanked.  Your thousand mile stare finally slowly refocused. You only managed to yell out one word. "WHAT?!"

"You're two weeks pregnant..Twin boys. I just...told you that."

"I-I JUST-...YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" Your hands pulled back as your eyes shot down to your middle. It didn't even look like anything changed. You didn't even feel any different or...or... ANYTHING!!! "YOU'VE GOT TO BE JOKING WITH ME?!"

"I never jest... Especially with something so serious."

"HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW!? IM SUPPOSEDLY PREGNANT AND I DON'T LOOK ANY DIFFERENT THAN I DID LAST MONTH!!"

"I have explained how my transparent world...vision works...Have I not?" You froze as finally all his eyes looked at you seriously. Oh..You forgot about that. "I took the proper... precautions early..to avoid any headaches or danger...later. I was serious when I said...I would take care of my remaining..family."

You only stared.. before you slowly looked back to your middle and a hand shakily pressed against your stomach...still didn't feel any different. "...How did this even happen?"

"Three weeks ago...we celebrated our anniversary by-"

A hand quickly pressed against his mouth as your face went beat red. "IT W-WAS A RETORICAL QUESTION!!"

He only made your face burnt hotter by reaching up to hold the hand over his face and press a kiss to the palm. "Yes ...But the end results are welcome."

You sputtered like a fish before just groaning and resting on your knees. For a moment neither person spoke as you rubbed your face and he held your hand to his cheek. "..... How long have you known?"

"Three days...I had a hunch and confirmed...it. I figured you didn't know and wanted...to make preparations first."

"Does anyone ELSE know?!"

"Only you and I...I've told no one else yet."

That relieved you at least but then a wave of dread hit you as a thought popped up. "Oh good gods...What are the boys going to think?"

"Our children will no doubt be quite...happy... Yuichiro however will be stubborn in the beginning...but with time he will come..to terms."

Rui and Muichiro would be excited for this especially with Rui bouncing off the walls becoming a big brother...But..You gave him a slightly worried look with narrowed eyes. He seemed to instantly know what you were thinking about.

"I will not favor these children...over the previous three," he spoke with assurance. "As someone who has..had a childhood plagued with... segregation I will not subject any..of them to that."

You sighed in relief instantly turning your head down..but paused noticing something that you didn't see before. There was four cylinder shaped pieces of carved wood on the opposite side of Kokushibo's lap. All perfectly aligned in a row. Except these weren't just ordinary sticks. The tops were widdled to a semi point and there was a series of holes carved in a series down their spines revealing the hollowed insides. You stared at them before turning your head and finding a dagger and the makings of a fifth hollowed stick in his lap. Slowly you blinked before pointing them out.

"Kokushibo. Are you making...flutes?"

"Yes. I am...nearly finished with the set."

You looked back to him bewildered. "Why?"

"Gifts for our children." He finally released your hand to reach down and remove the dagger and almost finished flute From his lap despite your surprised look. "I had one...as a child..I intend to pass that tradition on."

You stared at him more .. before smiling. "Aw.~ Really? That's so sweet of you...But all of this aside.." You gave him a stern look. "I'm going to continue what I've been doing so far."

"You will not stress..your body."

You made to stand pulling one knee up. "I won't stress myself out but you can't just stop me-" A hand grabbed your wrist and yanked before you could even blink. "EEP!!"

You gasped out as you were pulled forward, and in a second you found yourself placed in Kokushibo's lap with his strong arms cradling you to his chest. The redness in your cheeks was back instantly as he chuckled.

"Just did."

"Y-YOU CHEATED!!" You casted a glare up at his smile. "I wish you would S-S-Stop doing things without telling me you know!"

"Agreed. ...That is why I did not make... arrangements for a nursery yet..That will be a joint decision."

"Well thank you for that." You deadpanned looked at him despite the red in your face and crossed your arms. "Is there anything else you did I should know about?"

"I have thought of names ...for the boys." You blinked and would've shouted at him again if he didn't suddenly gently touch the right side of your stomach staring at it as if he could see something you couldn't. You blinked at jumped slightly at the gentle touch. "Michi." You blinked as his hand moved to the other side. "Yori."

"Michi and...Yori?" Your rose a brow before looking back at him. "You named one of our sons after you and didn't ask me first? I don't dislike it but you could've at least.." You paused..."Wait.." You narrowed your eyes. "Yori??...As in-"

"Do not say it-"

"Yorichii." 

Kokushibo visibly paused...and his eyes looked away. ".... Perhaps we should rethink the names-"

"Nope! Too late!" You smirked. "Mama's decided she likes those names. Their nicknames can be Mi-Mi and Yor-Yor.~"

"Stop."

"Aw. Don't tell me Mi-Mi senior is mad. I think it's cute.~"

"I regret not waiting."

[prettyb0ycvnt]

hi freaks of tumblr . here's my introduction post teeheehee <3

my name is aiden ! i am an eighteen year old gay trans man - pre-op and pre-t unfortunately ... but whatever im still hot. giggles and twirls hair.

more about me :3

☆ freakiest virgin you've ever met. i'd like that to CHANGE but uhhghhh the most i can get is freaks on tumblr (hit me up lalalala)

☆ real life prince charming pupboy :3 !!!

☆ literally not an ounce of dominance inside me at ALL i'm very submissive!!!! to an insane extent!!!

☆ bottom.

☆ perpetually in heat actually. need that to be rectified

☆ bst timezone. british twink moving like Oh Good Heavens... Oh My... Good Grief...

☆ my asks are open all the time to anyone! dms are open for mutuals only. i prefer getting asks; i'm bad with managing messages. please do not message me with sexual intention if you are a woman (im a faggot) (please do message me if you're an older man!!!! i love older men!!! i love all men!! please message me if you're a man!!!! or nb!!! please!!) also feel free to dm or ask me stuff if you just wanna be friends!!! blank blogs do not message me it weirds me out x

☆ i'm a writer! my posts may tend to get real descriptive if i'm not hornied-out beyond all comprehensive thought!!

☆ i am transgender and a lot of the stuff i post will focus on this :3 !!! my posts will reference fem biology but i'm not a girl don't call me one or i'll rip my hair out and die.

☆ im a GAY MAN!!! please don't repost my stuff if you're a cishet blogger or a 'men dni' blog im literally a. man and i love men and i talk about loving men and im the antithesis of everything u stand for . all queer freaks (including. wlw!!!) can do whatever they want with my posts :3

☆ some of my non-freakish interests include acting, literature, writing, baking, reading and certain fandoms that i don't want to explicitly reference in case this post appears to them uhm feel free to ask me about them!!!

claimed anons: 😵💫 ; 👾 ; 🪰

dni: minors, MAPs, bigots of any kind, trans fetishisers, ed & sh blogs, ageless blogs, weirdo freaks of the bad kind!!

interactions disclaimer: i don't accept nudes, nor will i send any. buuut i'm totally open to any sort of conversation you wanna have with me :3 !! please keep my limits in mind they're down below...!

tags

#☆ aiden's corner -> silly thoughts of mine!! sometimes they r Slightly lesser hornyposting... sometimes they're just funny things ithink of. welcum to aiden's corner !!

#☆ aiden's freakish thoughts -> hornyposting to the maxxxx.... under this tag im a FREAAKKK

☆ reblogs -> stuff i find relatable or stuff i find super duper hot . perhaps both at the same time!!

#☆ anon -> answering anonymous asks!

#☆ asks -> when used alone, answering non-anon asks! also used in conjunction with #☆ anon :3

me if u even care

okay thats all i can think of rn ummm anyway. stuff i'm into & limits under the cut :3

i looove >_< !!!

praise, degradation, breeding, petplay, major voice kink!, exhibitionism, voyeurism, humiliation, objectification, free-use, cockwarming, royalty, dumbification, somnophilia, forcemasc and ummm probably more you should totes talk to me so we can find out!

limits >:[ !!!

detrans/misgendering, forced feminisation, scat, bestiality, watersports, blood, basically any bodily fluids that aren't cum or spit, anything to do with feet, feederism, weight gain/weight loss, incest/fauxcest, ageplay, extreme cnc, rape, daddy/mommy, pregnancy, basically everything else that's super fucking weird and unethical. -> if you're into these things that's totally fine!! i'd just prefer they're not brought up in regards to myself ^_^

bodily terms for myself :3

not on t nor have i had surgery so i still very much have female parts and im fine with them being referred to as such!!! acceptable terms include cunt, pussy/boypussy, slit, hole, clit, chest, tits, (t-)cock& (t-)dick !! all i ask is that the term vagina is not used.

things i like being called >_<

please refer to me with masculine or neutral terms, nothing feminine. degrading terms like whore, bitch, slut and any other varieties (cumslut, etc.) are 100% okay! in fact please call me them!! praising terms like good boy are wooonderful. call me puppy/pup and ill explode and die (in a good way!!!) tbh literally call me anything as long as its not feminine and i'll love it. lalalalaa

[sugarandspisces-writes]

Hair Chronicles

Pairing: Melissa Schemmenti x Black fem!reader

Summary: r is preparing to get her hair done and Melissa helps her out

Word Count: 4.4k

A/N: Hiii! I've been having major writer's block lately, but I was finally able to get something done! This was purely self-indulgent and not requested, but I hope you all enjoy!

Warning/Disclaimer: While this was written for Black readers, everyone is welcome to read!! I wrote this for representational purposes, but I also hope it can be educational! P.S. I embedded links of the hairstyles mentioned so you can have a better idea of what i'm talking about. Let me know if it was helpful!

Okay, that's all. Bye! <3

“Hey, sweetheart,” Melissa greeted you with breakfast in hand. She was helping you do you hair today, and you'd need all the energy you could get to make it through the morning.

“Hi,” you beamed in her direction. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you laid eyes on the redhead. Hearing her call you sweetheart made you dizzy. It left you feeling like those cartoon characters with hearts spinning around their head.

You reached out to grab the food from her, and you two walked toward the kitchen. She made a pit stop in the living room to put her bag down, and you worked on setting the table up. You went to grab water from the fridge, and as you closed the door you felt arms wrap around your waist. The action was followed by her placing kisses on your neck. You set the pitcher down on the counter, scared you might drop it due to your faltering grip.

“Well, hello again,” you chuckled, turning around in the embrace. You were met with green eyes and a smile just as wide as yours. 

“Hi there.” Her pillow-soft lips tenderly pressed against yours. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” you said in between kisses. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Being away from her made you feel like something was missing. She added to your life in ways you didn’t realize until she wasn’t there. Everything seemed sweeter when she was around.

“I know. I can't believe you tried to cancel on me,” she pouted.

“I believe my words were 'postpone', not cancel,” you corrected her.

A couple nights ago you were on the phone with a dejected Melissa. You'd called to discuss the agenda for the weekend, and she was not happy with your verdict. You had a hair appointment on Sunday which meant you'd be spending all of Saturday prepping for it. Because of this, you wanted to postpone your plans with her. You would be able to have your usual Sunday dinner, but your other ventures would have to be saved for another time.

Your complaint was that you wouldn’t be able to enjoy your time with her because you’d be too focused on your hair. You explained the hours that went into doing everything and how it would be unfair to make her sit through that.

While you thought your reasoning was valid, Melissa didn’t. In her eyes, she’d be missing out on valuable time with you. Time she could be using to learn about you and take care of you. She'd said, “Who said I'd just be sitting there? I want to help.” And when you began to protest she added, “What if you need me to do your hair one day? I don’t want to be clueless. I want to know how to do it.”

You hadn't been expecting her to say that, but you should have known it was coming. Even after you told her how much effort went into managing your hair, she was still eager to assist. She was kind in that way; willing to do anything to make your life easier. You admired her adamance, and you would have been a fool to cancel your plans after that.

“I’m sorry.” You laid your forehead on her shoulder, placing kisses over the expanse of skin not covered by her shirt. “I didn’t think you wanted to be involved in the hair chronicles.”

“Why not?”

“Because you could be doing so many other things.”

“Well, I specifically cleared my weekend to be with you.” She lifted your chin up, locking eyes with you. “You know I don’t care what we do. As long as I’m with you, I’m good.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Melissa?” you joked. She was forward with her affections today – giving you loving touches and sweet words. You hadn’t seen her all week and clearly, absence made her heart grow fonder.

“Oh, stop it.” She nudged your arm. “I can be sweet sometimes.”

“You’re sweet all the time.” You kissed her lips once, then again with the intention of stopping, but somehow you found yourself making out in the middle of your kitchen.

“The food’s gonna get cold,” she murmured against your mouth but didn’t make any attempts to move away.

“I have a microwave,” you took a moment to catch your breath, “and an oven.”

She laughed and tiny sparks jolted through your heart as the melody rang throughout the space. Oh, how you missed hearing that.

“Come on, let’s eat.”

You sat down in the seat across from her and began to open your box of food. “Oh, did you want coffee?” you asked, realizing you completely forgot to make some. You knew she’d say yes, so you began to stand.

“I’ll make some in a minute.” She grabbed your hand stopping you from making any further movements.

“Are you sure? It’ll only take two seconds.”

“I'm sure,” she insisted. There was a familiar glint in her eyes and you could tell she didn’t want to be out of your company – even if you were just taking a few steps to the coffee machine. “Right now I just want to sit down and eat with you.”

You squeezed her hand before sitting back down, unable to suppress the smile that snuck onto your face – honestly, it may have never left.

“Tell me about your week,” Melissa spoke as she took her silverware out of the packaging.

You chatted about each other’s weeks and you told her about the project you were working on. You even slipped in some workplace drama for her entertainment, and you two laughed over how silly some of your coworkers were. She told you about her students and how well they were doing with presenting their book projects. As you ate, you marveled at the way her eyes lit up. You respected the adoration she had for her kids. She genuinely loved her job and it showed.

“How’s Ashley?” you asked. The last thing you heard was that she wasn’t getting along with her aide.

“Actually, I’m growing to tolerate her.” She looked at you with a pleased look.

“Really?” You tried to mask your shocked expression, but your reaction was evident in your voice.

“Don’t sound so surprised.”

“I’m not. I just–,” you paused. “I don’t know. You just always complain about her.”

“Yeah,” she looked up at the sky as if she was reminiscing, “Jacob helped me get through to her. I just needed to see things from her point of view.”

“See, didn’t I tell you?” You’d also told Melissa that she just needed to be patient with Ashley and think about the young woman’s feelings too. Teaching a class was hard work, and it could be even harder if you didn’t have the support of your peers.

“I know, I know.” She held her hands up in defense. “You were right.”

“You should listen to me more,” you smiled.

She rolled her eyes, “I already said you were right. What more do you want?” 

“I’m just saying,” you shrugged. “I’m glad you worked it out though.”

“You done bragging?” Melissa asked, giving you side-eye.

“No, not yet,” you smirked, “but I am done eating.”

“I’m never telling you you’re right ever again.” She stood and gathered your trash.

Your jaw dropped as you walked to the counter to make her coffee. “Whatever. The satisfaction of knowing I’m right will do.”

She came to stand in front of you as the aroma of espresso filled the air. She placed her hand on your hip and pulled you toward her, closing the gap. “I told you I’d make that.” 

“You know I’m hard-headed,” you whispered, your proximity causing you to lower your voice.

“Oh, I know.” She brought her hand up to the hem of your shirt, fingers moving under the fabric and coming in contact with your bare skin. Her digits trailed up your torso until they were brushing against your ribs.

“Stop.” You tried to be stern, but the words came out softer than you intended.

“I’m not doing anything.” She leaned into your neck, her lips skimming the surface. She placed a kiss over the hollow space in the center, and your eyes fluttered at the sensation.

“Melissa.” You gently pushed her away. “I invited you here to help me do my hair, not to kiss my neck.”

“I don’t see the harm in doing both.” She draped her arms around your waist, feigning a look of hurt.

“Yeah, that’s the problem.” You laughed before shrugging her off. “Your coffee’s done. You know where everything is, help yourself.”

“Thank you.” Her eyes were fixed on yours, and you could barely hold the intense gaze.

“You’re welcome,” you smiled. “Meet me on the couch when you’re done.”

“Will do.” She finally moved to grab her mug.

“And stop looking at me like that. You’re gonna kill me.” You added before walking out of the kitchen.

✦ ✦ ✦

Once Melissa was done, she joined you in the living room. She was met with the sight of you sitting in front of it the couch. Your back was resting against the cushions and you had a collection of hair tools and products sitting before you. Sound from the TV filled the area as you searched for a movie on Netflix.

“What do you wanna watch?”

She sipped her drink before answering, “Something funny.”

“Okay, you pick. I’m tired of looking.” You passed the remote to her before slumping against the couch.

“You’ve been looking for like 30 seconds.” She took a seat behind you, pulling her legs up to rest next to her.

“Yeah, 30 seconds too long,” you sighed as you sorted through the items in front of you.

“What’s wrong?” Melissa could sense the sudden change in your attitude. 

“I don’t feel like doing this,” you whined, tilting your head back and laying it against her thigh.

She paused her search for the movie to look down at you. “I thought you were excited?”

“I’m excited to get my hair done, but I’m not excited to do all the prep.”

“What all do you have to do?” she asked, settling on playing The Hangover.

You released a deep sigh as you let Melissa in on the plan. “First, I have to take these braids out. Then I’m gonna detangle my hair, wash it, and deep condition it. After all of that, I have to blow dry it.”

‘Okay,” she murmured into her coffee, preparing to take a sip, “just take it one step at a time.”

“Ugh! Melissa, you don’t understand.” You dragged your hands across your face in misery. “It’s gonna take me so long.”

“How long?” She moved her free hand down to yours, pulling them away so she could properly look at you.

“Like four hours. Maybe five depending on how lazy I get.”

“Five hours?” She raised her eyebrows in shock. Even though you'd told her about the process, she wasn’t aware of exactly how long it took. “Shit, babe.”

“Last time it took me longer,” you informed her. “But I also did everything across the span of a few days. I like doing it that way, but unfortunately, I don’t have time.” Your hair appointment was tomorrow and you hadn’t even begun, so you were on a bit of a time crunch.

“Relax, hon. You know I’m gonna help you.” She tried to encourage you, knowing that you got overwhelmed easy.

“It’s still gonna take so. damn. long.” You punctuated each sentence with a tap of your head against her thigh.

“The faster we start the sooner it’ll be over.” She brought her hand to back up to your face, laying her palm against your cheek. “What do you need me to do?”

“If you could help me take these braids out I would really appreciate it.” 

She set her coffee mug down, then scooted toward the edge of the couch so she could reach you better. “Of course. Just tell me what to do.”

“It’s pretty self-explanatory.” You repositioned yourself so she could see you properly.

She looked at you, ready to take in your instructions.

“You’re gonna cut the end of the braid,” you took your scissors and demonstrated, “then you’re just gonna loosen it.” Melissa watched as you removed the extensions from your hair. “You think you can handle that?”

“Yeah, seems simple enough,” she nodded.

You passed her a pair of scissors and said, “The only thing I ask is that you don’t cut my hair off.”

“Oh, God.” She took the object from your hand. “Thanks for putting pressure on me.”

“If you’re not sure where my hair ends just overestimate, but it stops about right here.” You showed her an approximation on another braid. “No biggie if you cut a little bit off.”

“You say that, but I feel like you’re lying.” She held the scissors in her dominant hand, hesitant to make a move.

“I do it all the time believe it or not,” you assured her.

“Okay, but if you do it to yourself that’s different.” She picked up her chosen braid and squinted hoping that would help her to see where your hair ended. “Go in my purse and get my glasses, please.”

You burst out in laughter at that. “Really, Lissa. It’s not that deep.”

“Uh, it is that deep,” she mocked your words. “I’m serious. You know my eyes are bad.”

“You need a purse organizer.” You rifled through the bag in search of her glasses. “Actually, you need to clean your purse out. There’s so much stuff in here,” you said, pulling out a wrapper from a snack she must have eaten recently. 

“You’re talking a lot of shit for someone who’s entrusting me with a pair of scissors.” She joked.

“You're not funny.” You gave her a stony look. “But you really do have a lot of stuff.” 

You finally pulled out her glasses and passed them to her. She placed them over her eyes and motioned for you to come back to her, but you sat there for a second just admiring her.

“Stop being weird and come here. We’ve got business to tend to.” You watched her lip twitch as she fought the smile that was tugging at her lips.

You couldn’t help but stare, she was just so pretty. “So it’s only okay when you do it?”

“I’m not as obvious as you.” She justified as you took your place in front of her.

You gasped in shock, “You’re worse than me!”

She didn’t respond, instead choosing to grab one of your braids. You couldn’t see her, but you knew she was inspecting it carefully.

“Can you see it any better?”

“Yes, actually, I can.” She took the scissors and snipped the excess off of the braid.

Her actions were delicate as she moved her fingers through your hair. It was much different from the way you handled it. You weren’t afraid to yank at the strands, but Melissa seemed to be – almost like she was scared of hurting you.

Noticing that she was moving a lot slower than you, you decided to share a tip with her. “If you take the two outside pieces and tug on them a little, the braid will unravel faster.”

“Oh, am I going too slow for you?” she teased, stilling her hands.

“No,” you laughed. “I’m just trying to save you some frustration. I know it can be tedious.”

“It’s not so bad. Plus, we’re already halfway done.”

“Since you’re enjoying it so much, I’m gonna call you when it’s time to take out my next set of braids.”

She laughed at that, taking a moment to finish the last few sips of her coffee.

“This is only going by so fast because I have like 12 braids. If these were box braids we'd be struggling.” you explained

“Aren't these cornrows?” she asked.

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, they’re called feed-ins. They're similar to cornrows, but a different technique is used to create the braid.”

"Hmm," she hummed signaling she'd heard you but you weren't sure she understood what you meant.

Before you could explain further, you felt her hand run through a section of your hair. The action caused your head to jerk backward – the mechanics of you hair wouldn't allow her to easily glide through. Her fingers were caught in your strands and she let out an “oops” as she tried to untangle them.

“Yeah, you can't just... do that.” You winced as she fumbled with your hair, trying to extricate herself without causing any harm.

“Sorry,” she said sheepishly once she got free. “Did I hurt you?”

“It’s okay. You didn’t hurt me,” you assured her, turning to look at the woman. “We’ll dentangle everything in a minute, okay?”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“Personally, I hate it, but I have a feeling you’re gonna like that part,” you winked.

“Sorry, again.” You could sense some embarrassment as she let out a nervous laugh.

“It's fine, Mel,” you smiled. “You're learning.”

“Speaking of learning, I have a question,” she said, watching you work on the last section. 

“About what?”

“You said there was a difference between feed-in braids and cornrows?”

“Yeah, so with feed-ins you feed in pieces of hair as you braid. Hence the name,” you clarified. “When you do a traditional cornrow, you only add the hair at the start of the braid. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “So what’s the reason for feeding the hair in?” she asked. “Is it better than doing it the traditional way?”

“Adding the hair gradually helps the braid become thicker and longer. It’s not necessarily better, but in my opinion feed-ins because they look more natural.”

 She nodded as she took the information in. “I didn’t know there was a difference.”

“Yeah, I usually don’t get them, but I decided to switch it up.”

“What made you do that?”

“For one, I was tired of sitting down for a million hours.” You weren’t joking, but Melissa laughed at your exaggeration. “But I also just wanted to try something new.”

“You usually get box braids, right?” she asked. 

You turned to face her once you were done taking the last braid out. Melissa had her chin in her palm, listening intently, and it made you smile. “Yeah, but then I saw everyone getting feed-ins with all these cute designs in them and I wanted to get them too. I’ll have to show you pictures so you can see what I’m talking about.”

“I’ve seen some of the students with them, and they have heart designs in theirs,” she shared.

“Yes, oh my gosh! Isn’t it so cute?” You tapped your hand on her thigh in excitement. “I didn’t get a design this time around, but I really want one next time.”

“Yeah, it is,” she smiled at your excitement. “I love when the girls come in with all the different color braids. Like right now Mikayla has pink and black braids. And the other day Aria came in with a haircut after she took her braids out, and she was so excited to wear her natural hair.”

“Aww, how cute!” It made you happy hearing about how the little girls at Abbott were embracing their culture. “I love how many new styles have emerged, and there’s so much versatility. Like I can truly do anything with my hair whether I have braids in or I’m wearing my natural hair.”

“I love your hair,” Melissa admired you, taking in your appearance now that you were void of your braids.

“I’m sure it looks a mess right now, but I love it too. Even though I complain about it a lot, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.” You smoothed your hand along your curls. “I think I’d cry if I woke up with straight hair one day,” you laughed.

You spent the rest of the night talking while you finished up. As you suspected, Melissa was enthralled by the detangling process. You told her your curls would be fragile since you hadn’t touched them in a couple of weeks, and she took such good care to be gentle. After you dried your hair, Melissa was in awe seeing how much longer it got. She didn’t know your hair, which stopped at your shoulders when wet, would stretch to the middle of your back when it was blow-dried. You then had to explain the concept of shrinkage to her – how as your hair dried it lost its ability to expand and be elongated. It never occurred to you that she’d be so interested in the topic of your hair, but you were happy to impart your knowledge to her. You let her ask you questions until her heart was content.

✦ ✦ ✦

The next day, you woke up with a pep in your step. You were beyond excited to go to your hair appointment. Even though you knew it would be a long one, you had been going to your stylist for years and she always knew how to keep you entertained. You could talk to her for hours, never running out of things to discuss. If you ever got bored, you could always resort to taking a nap. It was a good way to pass the time, and you got lucky because she never complained when you fell asleep.

“Someone’s very happy this morning,” Melissa commented on your demeanor. You were practically skipping around the room as you were getting prepared to leave.

“I am! And you should be too.” You placed a kiss on your lips before flitting to the other side of your room.

“Why is that?”

“Because you don’t have to hear me complain about feeling dusty anymore,” you laughed. “Now I can complain about more important things.”

“Yeah, like what? How I don’t give you enough attention?”

She chuckled as you gave her a combination of a glare and a pout. “Come here for a sec.”

You waltzed over to her, taking a seat in her lap. “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to hold you while I talked to you.” She rested her palm against your back and began to rub circles over the area.

“You’re so cute.” You leaned in to press your lips against her cheek. You felt warmth under your lips as a blush rose to her face.

She bit her lip to suppress her smile. She didn’t acknowledge your remark, instead asking, “What time are you gonna be done?”

“I’m not sure, but sometime this afternoon. I’ll text you know when I’m almost finished.” You cupped her face. “Why are you blushing?”

“I’m not,” she said even though her face was clearly red. “What do you want for dinner?”

“I don’t know. I’m not craving anything in particular.” You rested your head against her shoulder.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do. I’m gonna go to the store while you’re gone.”

“Ooh, can you get me ice cream?” You pleaded, standing up to put your shoes on.

“So I'm your personal shopper now?” She quirked her eyebrows at you.

“Don’t be mean.” You grabbed everything you needed and made your way to the door, Melissa following close behind. “I’ll see you later. The spare key is on the hook for when you leave.”

“Okay, I should be here when you get back.” She gave you one last kiss. “See you soon.”

✦ ✦ ✦

You left the salon at 5 pm, meaning everything took around seven hours to complete. Your neck and back were sore beyond measure, and your body was dying for some food. Nonetheless, your hair was finally done and that's all that mattered. You couldn’t wait to get home to shower and eat dinner with Melissa.

When you walked through the door of your apartment, your senses were filled with the delicious smell of food that instantly made your stomach growl.

“I’m home!” you yelled.

“In the kitchen!” the redhead called back.

You walked in that direction and saw the most domestic sight you’d ever laid eyes on – Melissa in casual clothes with her hair up in a ponytail. She was sipping on a glass of wine as she monitored the pan on the stove.

“Hi, hon,” she smiled, her lips hovering over the rim of the glass.

“Hello,” you walked over to greet her, enveloping her in a hug. 

“I thought you were never coming back,” she joked.

“And you say I’m dramatic,” you laughed into her neck before pulling away.

You watched as her eyes wander to your head, and you could tell that she was formulating her thoughts. She set her wine down and tilted her head slightly, drinking you in instead. “Your hair looks so good, baby.”  

“Yeah?” you said, trying to be modest even though you knew you looked good.

“Yeah, give me a spin,” she requested.

You spun in a circle for her so she could get the full view, stopping your rotation once you met Melissa’s earnest gaze again. 

“I like the brown. It’s very pretty,” she complimented.

You decided to get a pop of color this time. It wasn’t anything crazy, just something subtle that would catch the eye. “Thank you,” you grinned. “Is dinner almost done?”

“Yeah,” Melissa wrapped her free arm around your waist, “it’ll be ready in 30 minutes.”

You opened your mouth to speak, but you were cut off by a series of kisses: one on your temple, one on your cheek, and finally, one on your lips. “What are you doing?”

“Kissing the pretty girl. Is that okay?” she murmured.

You felt your brain go fuzzy at that and you almost forgot what you were about to say “Yeah, more than okay.”

“Mmm, good.” She continued to kiss you until you both ran out of breath. 

“Someone's hungry,” She asked once she heard your stomach growl.

“Hungry is an understatement,” you laughed. “Oh, did you get my ice cream?” Your burning question finally made its way out of your head.

“Yes. I almost forgot though.”

“Thank you.” You wrapped your arms around the woman, completing your embrace.

“You don't have to thank me for that.”

“Not just for that,” you murmured into her neck. “For helping me out this weekend. I really appreciate it.”

“You don't have to thank me for that either.

“I do.” You looked up at her. “'Cause you didn't have to do it.”

“What? You thought I would let you do it all by yourself?”

You shrugged. “I mean, that's what I usually do.”

“Right, but you had me this time.” She rubbed her hand along your arm.

“You gonna help me all the time now?” You were half joking, but also curious to know what she would say.

“Yeah, that's what I'm here for.” She looked down to meet your eyes.

“Wow, you must love doing my hair.”

“More importantly, I love you.” She kissed your forehead.

“How many glasses have you had?” you asked.

“I tell you I love you and that's your response?” she laughed incredulously. “Just one.”

“I'm just checking.” You threw your hands up in defense.

“It's not the wine. It's you,” she continued to chuckle. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Melissa.”

[brujamala-aka-gigi]

౨ৎ tarot services ୨୧

(( scroll down for the info because this is a really long post :(, I took the time to explain the readings and to make sure the services are highly customizable and fitting <3 ))

{ dividers by @h-aewo }

Welcome to my tarot menu ! <3

Before you get to checking what's there to do, I'd like to say that I basically been reading tarot's for most of my conscious life, and I've seen and heard plenty of different perspectives, situations, and so on. After that I came to the conclusion that the most important thing for me whenever I'm offering my reading services, is that you and I can sort of work together on how the reading gets done. My biggest concern when reading for others is that I can communicate the messages from the tarot in a way that's efficient for both of us. I'm always willing to learn and listen without judging, because that way both of us can know if it's really worth it to do the reading. That's the reason why I specify the length of the readings and the main idea behind them but I don't limit too much the possibilities of what can be asked specifically on that reading. If you choose to book a reading with me, we are doing some talking about what exactly you want from the reading you choose, before I actually get started with the whole tarot and divination part. When I read for others, I'm more concerned about respecting and embracing their experiences and thoughts when it comes to tarot, than to impose mine. Not everyone is down for a spiritual experience, not everyone needs the shadow work, or the practical jungian stuff, maybe you don't want to know about the future, or you do but only about the good, and so on.

●● How to Book a Reading:

I have to do some disclaimers first:

No readings about serious health issues, no readings concerning financial advice or legal advice.

Cash upfront, readings can be cancelled with a refund only before 2 days have passed.

You will get a total refund if I do not complete the reading before the agreed time.

I will ask for your name and date of birth, bonus points if you have your natal chart info at hand. Same if there's anyone else involved in the reading.

At the moment, I only take payments via Paypal.

I might write you during the process of doing the reading if anything major pops up and probably to tell you the approximate delivery time. And you can also feel free to hit up if something happens that you feel I should know of.

・✦ʚ♡simple questions♡ ɞ✦・

click on the word length to see an example of it.

●●●

✦ 1 Question - $1.50 USD

✦ 3 Questions - $2.50 USD

✦ 5 Questions - $4 USD

{delivery time usually takes less than 2 days unless I'm too busy, for an extra $1.50 I will deliver as soon as possible. Each question gets a 300 word reply.}

●●●●●●●●●

✦ Yes/ No questions (No explanation) - $0.50 USD

✦ Yes / No questions (Explained) - $1 USD

{these readings are delivered on the same day and as soon as possible whenever im fully available. the explained answer is 250 words long}

✦ Random Tarot Message - $0.50 for 100 words, $1 for 200 words

{no questions, i just shuffle my cards, and tell you what is essential for you to know depending on what i see from the tarots}

・✦ʚ♡Short Readings♡ ɞ✦・

These readings are at least one page long, but it's likely it will take one page and a half. they all cost $7 USD (it can take me a week maximum to complete this reading)

✦ Classic General Reading

Sometimes you need some help to see exactly where you are standing, and why you are standing there in the first place. This is a general analysis of how your love life, your career, the people around you, the challenges you are facing, the past and the future are affecting you right now. Anything major that you need to know of, will pop out on this reading.

✦ Comprehending Chaos.

The reading here is meant for conflictive situations or people. Basically, if you have a problem, this reading is meant to help you deeply understand the problem and see what are the possible solutions. This one is great for the more "mundane" situations. Not too much esoteric or deeply philosophical knowledge to expect here, instead, practical knowledge in order to get it together and move on.

✦ Decision making aid.

It's okay to go for the tarot if you need some help when making choices. This reading is not intended as something that will tell you what to do, it's not even focused on advice, but more so on all the things you might not be considering and the possible outcomes. The answers here are meant to give you more information on what you can control and to inform you on what you are not responsible for. Here, the objective is to give you the tools and the empowerment to make the choice, not to tell you what to do.

✦ What to do next.

On time to time, it's completely normal to feel stagnated and dissatisfied with your life. The idea here is that you get the key points and the questions to ask yourself in order to get out of situations like these. This reading is great for the calm and sort of boring moments after some shit went down or if it's been a while since you've felt contempt or satisfaction with your life.

✦Shadow-Work guidance.

Here I'm going to provide you with the key points to begin exploring your psyche and start a deeper processes of mental and emotional healing. This is not all that spiritually oriented, but more focused on practical solutions and gaining tools and knowledge to unlock anything that troubles your mind. We are not aiming to find the exact answers, but more so, the exact questions and the tools for you to find those answers.

・✦ʚ♡Love Readings♡ ɞ✦・

These readings take two full pages at least. These usually take between 5 days and 1 week and a half to be delivered, depending on my schedule and how much energy the reading takes, you will be informed on the delivery date. You'll see that these readings come with a starting price, and different prices depending on added length or add-ons, keep an eye on my blog for discounts on those.

✦ Situationship Reading - $10 / $15

We all been there and we all needed a second opinion, which we might or might not care about depending on how things are going with that special, sometimes toxic, person.

With this reading, at $10 you could get elaborate answers about things such as:

-What's the future of this relationship?

-What are their feelings towards you?

-Why are you attracted to this person and what does it say about you?

-Is it worth it to stay?

-What should you learn from this?

Now, for $15 you get to pick two of the following options for one page and a half worth of answers.

-2 specific questions about this person, with elaborate answers.

-A general reading on this person, including whats going on in their lives, their minds and what's coming for them in the future

-A reading from the "Short readings" tier, but more love oriented, if things with this person don't work out, or if you don't want that much info on them but they are lowkey part of a deeper problem that could be helped with a tarot reading.

-A combination of any of the above mentioned, but keeping the length in mind. ( 1 question about them and a short reading, a short reading about them, 2 questions and some stuff from the short reading, a general reading about them and a short one, etc)

✦Compatibility $10 / $15

If there's someone in your life who you caught your interest, this reading is aimed to explain why you are attracted to them, why you think of them romantically and weather or not it's worth giving it a shoot based on how compatible they are with you, and why things will or won't work out. You will get answers about what brought you together on the first place, and what about this relationship is meant to happen. This reading covers how compatible your love languages, you aspirations, your behaviours and your values are.

The $15 version includes one page and a half of the following options:

-A detailed relationship forecast and predictions on what will happen in the future.

-A reading from the "Short readings" tier, but more love oriented, if things with this person don't work out, or if you don't want that much info on them but they are lowkey part of a deeper problem that could be helped with a tarot reading

-3 questions related to this person or related to the relationship itself.

-A combination of the above mentioned.

✦Relationship check $15

If things are not going particularly well with your partner, or if there's something too odd about them at the moment, this reading is meant to get to the root of the problem and give you the knowledge to make informed decisions. Here we are not only focusing on the internal and external factors that could be influencing the relationship, but also on what is personally affecting your partner and you. This reading is three full pages long, as you also will be given advice from the tarot. I don't offer add on's for this reading as it's pretty deep, but you will get a discount if you choose to book another reading along this one.

Tarot decks available for readings:

feel free to request an specific desk to use or to avoid, or to ask any questions regarding the decks.

❁ Santa Muerte Tarot Deck

❁ Rider Waite Smith

❁ Night Sun Tarot

❁ Santa Muerte Oracle Deck

❁ The Great Esoteric Tarot

❁ Thoth's Tarot

❁ Nicoletta Ceccoli's Tarot