#not me about to give this show a chance for one character and one character only

[matramancer]

If I Were Stronger. [Narumi Gen x Mitsuri! Reader]🌸

🌸Synopsis: What if Mitsuri! reader was there during the fight with Isao Shinomiya?

Part of the Mitsuri! reader series

tags: angst with comfort, MANGA SPOILERS (ch 51), character death, narumi x reader, fem!reader, Mitsuri!reader, reader and Narumi are kikoru’s mentors, kikoru and reader are close, hopeful ending.

It’s quiet in the First Division base.

On a solemn morning, the flags of the base are lowered. Everyone stands in formation, giving a final salute to the loss of a legend.

Standing up front, Narumi Gen holds himself strong in front of his troops, his back so far away. Despite the respect he earned, the high praises,  the honor of dying in the battlefield, no one can deny that the death of General Shinomiya was a tragedy.

A few steps behind him were the other platoon leaders, and for a moment, time had stopped. No rowdy battle cries, no arguments. Not even the bounce from their resident bright ball of sunshine.

it’s quiet. It’s unlike you.

As your eyes drift to Gen’s backside, the black fabric feels like an abyss peering into your memories. The scar from that day that you shared with him. Fresh wounds that you tried not to show. 

You were there when it happened, after all.

“GENERAL SHINOMIYA IS ENGAGING WITH KAIJU NO. 9! ALL UNITS, STAY ON HIGH ALERT!”

As you stopped to turn to your right, you could hear the clash of weapons, as well as the sound of falling debris and rubble. Was that them?

“Platoon leader (L/N) speaking. I’m near the main site and approaching!”

It was a race against time, one where you prayed that you could make it. Narumi and Kaiju No. 8 were speeding ahead too, surely, with the four of you against #9, you could stop him.

You didn’t even register the long run it took from your area to where General Shinomiya was. Not even the pain from the multiple wounds you sported. All you remembered was rubble flying everywhere, and racing to Kurusu’s front as soon as you spotted him.

“Kurusu-san!” Kurusu coughs from breathing out the dust from the rubble you sliced into pieces. 

“Platoon leader (L/N!)” He exclaims in disbelief, still holding onto his laptop whilst you provide cover. As you tried to study the situation, more and more rubble threatened to hit Kurusu. The general was standing strong, his number’s weapon holding against #9. “Please don’t worry about me–provide cover to the chief!” Kurusu stated, before getting interrupted by Isao himself.

“(L/N)!!” Stunned at General Shinomiya’s booming voice, you and Kurusu turn towards him. “Evacuate Kurusu!”

“BUT SIR–”

“AT ONCE!” at General Shinomiya’s orders, you immediately change your stance, picking Kurusu up.

“YES SIR!” Without a moment’s hesitation, you hastily jump away with Kurusu, not knowing what the general had in plan. You hoped he had a plan at all. You could still move, you were strong. You had to do something.

Kurusu’s words brought your attention back to him. “High energy levels–is he planning to use No. 2’s blast?!” Gasping as you let him down at a clearing, the two of you immediately fell to your knees at the sheer amount of pressure suddenly forming from the spot where Isao stood. So that was why…

You nearly flinch at the gunshot from the ceremony, the sound bringing you back to the present. Narumi’s back was still in front of you, only showing a part of his side profile.

It must’ve been so heavy on him. You knew, even from how stoic he was with everyone, that Narumi meant a lot to him. That General Shinomiya also meant so much to Narumi. That their bond, though unspoken, was strong. 

And now he’s gone. He was taken from him right in front of his eyes.

But it wasn’t just Narumi that had a mentor taken away from him.

The ceremony ends, and you excuse yourself as soon as you find the chance. 

A girl lost her father.

“GENERAL SHINOMIYA!”

Your mind drifts back to the battlefield, towards the seconds where you returned to General Shinomiya.

It’s eerily silent. You hated it.

“General Shinomiya! Do you copy?!” You breathed through your mask, twirling your sword through the air to get rid of the dust obstructing your vision. 

The news from Kurusu shocked you to the bone. Two shots. Kaiju No. 2’s main burst twice in a row. General Shinomiya…

Your heart rate quickens. You had to support him fast. There’s no way his body could last. Please, please don’t let this happen again. The Defense Force can’t lose another leader. Especially not its director.

Memories of your late platoon leader flash through your mind, but you blink them away. Now’s not the time.

In the distance, you could see Narumi and #8, finally arriving on the scene. With your combined manpower, you could at least make sure that the general had time to recover.

Your feet ached as you caught your breath once more, now back in the building. You don’t know why or how your body took you here, but there you stood, hands on the lavish wooden doors, hearing the silent sobs of Kikoru Shinomiya.

Heart clenching, your knuckles turned white as you tried to calm your breathing, feeling your throat clamp up. You felt anger, felt grief. But that’s not what matters right now. You had to be there for her.

“Kikoru-chan,” at the sound of your voice and the creak of the door opening, her sniffles paused. You set aside any formalities, nevertheless how the both of you were technically trespassing. You were probably going to get an earful from your superiors too, with a member of your platoon skipping such an important event, indulging AND partaking in breaching what counted as private quarters. But that didn’t matter. Kikoru wasn’t your star student right now, she was just a girl.

You made your way closer to her, letting your stern demeanor falter as you stood in front of her.

“It’s okay, I won’t tell anyone. It’s okay to cry, Kikoru-chan.” You hushed her, slowly bringing your hands towards her.

When she started to sob again, you took her in your arms, sinking onto the floor as her body shook. 

You hated the quiet. You hated this.

You hated how #9 disgraced Shinomiya Isao’s image in front of his own daughter.

The door creaks open again. This time, a heavier set of footsteps made their way to the late general’s desk. You didn’t have to look up to know who it was.

Perhaps Narumi and you were on much more similar wavelengths than you thought, because he at least disregarded how lax your behavior was as a platoon leader. 

“You sure you didn’t want to see him off?”

The three of you shared a strange yet not unwelcome sense of acknowledgement and understanding in that room.

A shared wound that could only be understood by those who were truly there.

The horror you felt when #8 screamed the news to Narumi rang through your body like a bomb.

As you approached rapidly to the sight of what you thought was the general, you saw him turn around.

“GENERAL SHINOMIYA!” You cried out, mustering all of the power in your legs to reach him. 

It wasn’t enough.

“THAT ISN’T THE CHIEF!”

You failed your role. Failed to be that barrier between what you sought to protect. 

Kurusu and the others watch in horror through the feeds as the desecrated face of what used to be Isao turned, as if to mock him.

It was horrifying.

Letting out a gasp, you barely registered the giant blast he sent towards the three of you.

As the rubble cleared, you stood aside Captain Narumi and Kaiju no. 8, still in disbelief.

Hearing him speak about how he killed the general made your blood boil, your knuckles turning white.

But it broke your heart to see Kikoru just behind him after.

Clenching your fist, you and Narumi sprang forward in full offense.

“How dare you.” You swore, in a silent whisper that had never left your body before. As you twisted your body and launched yourself upward, you put your full force into slicing several of #9’s limbs, giving Narumi an opening.

But just as Narumi swore with his entire being that he would destroy #9 in Shinomiya’s place, #9 stopped the fight, throwing a casual remark about how he was going to “call it a day.”

Narumi has never lost his composure, and he doesn’t plan to. But he would not stand for such blasphemy–nor would he ever let #9 get away from him alive.

As he launched his attack, you followed suite with #8 into the fray, bearing your sword like a whip. 

“LETS RAIN HELL ON HIM! #8! (L/N)!”

“SQUADRON STYLE BAYONET TECHNIQUE NUMBER ONE!”

“SECOND FORM: LOVE PANGS!”

 Yet no matter how many hits you got in, no matter how many times Narumi charges at him, no matter how strong #8’s hits was, the three of you were still being pushed back.

You prayed again, prayed that through some high power, no matter what it takes, that you’d be able to end this right now.

“!!!” Your eyes widened as a shot from #9 misses you and hurdles itself towards Kikoru instead.

Without thinking, you immediately move to defend her, taking the brunt force of the hit with your machine gun. “NO!” You yelled. You can’t afford to lose her either. 

Kikoru stares at you with wide eyes, as you steady your balance and change stances to use your other weapon.

Breathing heavily, you let out a cry as you shot at #9 relentlessly, acting as suppressing fire for Narumi and #8.  

It was always in your nature to protect. And you couldn’t afford to fail with Kikoru as you did her father.

Her suit had probably overheated, she was out of commission. The least you could do was–

You let out a string of coughs, a metallic taste in your lips.

Suit overheat. Suit overheat. Cooldown required.

“(L/N)-SAN!” Kikoru screamed, distressed at the data reading of your suit. She cursed over how she was frozen to her spot.

“I still have some fight left in me!” You put your arm in front of her. Kikoru was a bright girl, with a bright future ahead of her. The more you could spare her now, the better.

You were about to put away your gun to slow down your overheating, but just as you did, the sight of one of #9’s attacks slipping between Narumi and #8’s defenses entered both you and Kikoru’s field of vision.

Your eyes widened, feeling the burn of your body as you forced yourself to move.

“KAFKA!” You yelled, taking the hit for him.

You knew Kaiju no. 8–No, Kafka was special, not just to the Defense Force, but to those that cared for him. He was loved. By Kikoru, by the 3rd Division. You had the utmost pleasure of bonding with him from the start of his stay in the 1st Division. You were one of the first to accept him.

And you couldn’t bear to see Kikoru hurt even more.

Narumi’s eyes widened as red splotched your suit, your machine gun wrecked by #9’s burst.

He knew that with your caring personality, you’d always take the choice to wedge yourself to be that layer of protection. He hated that about you sometimes, but especially this time.

But there was no time to worry, you wouldn’t allow it. “RESUME ATTACK, CAPTAIN AND NO. 8!” You choked out, barely nailing your landing. The attack burned through your machine gun and messed you up good. 

As you scramble to get on your feet, your legs caved in, making you unceremoniously thud to the ground. Now you’ve really done it. “I messed up…”

Narumi swears he saw red. He’d never say it out loud, but the grip he had on his bayonet was so hard, he swung, uncaring if his nerves could snap in half.

You could hear the sound of fighting continue just a dozen meters ahead of you, but your vision was going black. You felt something warm running down your forehead and covering your eye. Your ears were ringing.

As strong as The Love Pillar is known to be, she was still a human.

You could barely even hear from your comms now. Was that still Kurusu talking? “REROUTING (L/N)’S SUIT TO FULL HEALING! PREPARE PARAMEDICS!”

No, you can still fight. For your place in the Defense Force. For your oath to protect, for the 1st division that welcomed you so warmly. For Captain Narumi. For Mr. Shinomiya.

And humans always had an exploitable weakness. 

Suddenly, the air stiffens just as your hearing returns to hear Kaiju no. 9. “Ah, I should have done this from the beginning.” 

“What…” You and Kikoru’s eyes widened at the sudden incoming blasts moving towards the both of you.

You stiffen up as your instincts tell you to fight back. To draw your machine gun or to jump out of the way. To protect Kikoru. 

…But you couldn’t feel your legs.

“BASTARD!” in a haze, you only hear Narumi’s yell from a distance, still trying frozen in place.

The last thing you saw was his back in a protective stance, shielding you from the blast.

And the body of Isao Shinomiya flying to the sky, waging war to all of humanity.

It hurts to think, it hurts to remember. It hurts to see the people you care about skewered by guilt and sadness.

It hurt you the most when Narumi sat on the stretcher next to you, hunched over whilst gripping his head in his hands when he thought no one was looking.

You were unknowingly clenching onto the fabric of Kikoru’s uniform too, you realize, as you hear her talk to Narumi. How she wouldn’t even let herself grief.

At the sound of that, Narumi declares something.

“I’ll make you the strongest after me.” You and Kikoru look up in surprise. “I’ll drill what mr. Isao drilled into me to you.” 

As Kikoru’s tears ran, so did her newfound determination. The fight isn’t over. It’s just begun. She swears to it, as you and Narumi bear witness.

“(L/N).” He turns to you, causing your body to stiffen. “I’m entrusting this duty to you. Direct orders,” you straighten, getting back on your feet.

You’ve never seen Narumi like this before.

“Sir.” you fix your appearance, trying your best to look stern. You were never really good at it.

“Get stronger.” You bit the inside of your cheek at his words. It wasn’t just an order, it was a statement. “Train Shinomiya. Be at each other’s side,”

“Show me results.”

***

It’s very awkward to have to take an elevator ride with Captain Narumi after that whole ordeal.

You didn’t even know where to look. For once, no conversations flowed through your mind.

“This is bad!!! This is very bad!!!” You internally panicked. Never mind the constant headaches and large amount of medical treatment you still needed to undergo, you were fretting over what he would say to you as a platoon leader trespassing and enabling a rule breaking cadet! “I can’t look him in the eye!”

“Um…” You broke the silence, yet Narumi made no effort to look in your direction. “Captain.”

You bit your lip. What were you to even say? Yes, you and Narumi were close, but this atmosphere… the weight of the world was on him. Could you even be there for him?

But you remember how hard this was for him. How much of a front he’s handling right now. So, you merely soften your voice, to sound as respectful as possible. Then, you bow. “I’m terribly sorry for your loss, sir.”

Narumi still doesn’t move. Not like there’s anywhere to go.

You wonder if you’ve overstepped any boundaries. He was still your captain, even if you sort of had a strange bond with him. Maybe not as strange as what he has with Vice Captain Hoshina, but still. He was a friend.

“Thank you, (L/n).” Your shoulders immediately relaxed, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“I’ll follow your orders to the end. I’ll get stronger, Narumi-kun–” you hold your tongue. “Ahem, Captain Narumi.”

Finally, he turns to look at you. Maybe if your head wasn’t still pounding and you weren’t so fussy over how the bandages felt wrapped around your head, you’d notice how his gaze softened. “You’re still recovering from your injuries. You’re forbidden to go to the training hall.”

“Eh?” You blinked. “Ah, ok. Yes sir.” You twiddled with your fingers, now embarrassed. Right, you weren’t even supposed to be out and about yet.

As your gaze landed on the floor, you failed to notice Narumi’s sight falling onto your figure, furrowing his expression at your slightly limped stature. You had sustained much more severe wounds than him, even if you were still standing. 

But that was just it, you were still standing, and he was god damn thankful for that.

It was a much better sight than seeing your unconscious, limp body in his hands before you were passed to a stretcher and flooded by paramedics, his sight refusing to leave you even as another pair of medics tried to assess his own condition. 

The heat he felt searing through you as he cradled your unconscious body burned through his own skin as a reminder that you were alive–but you were in bad, bad shape. You had paid the price of increasing your abilities past what your suit could handle, reaching a fever of nearly 40 degrees and immediately requiring an IV drip. he had to bark at Kikoru to keep her distance, under the guise that the paramedics weren’t done with you, that she needed medical attention herself, but he himself knew that wasn’t the full cause of his reasoning. He didn’t want her to see you like this.

You were so unlike yourself, motionless on that stretcher, lacking the life and luster that enveloped you.

It was terrifying.

When the paramedics left and he finally got a moment to himself, all he could do was hunch forward, hands grasping roughly at his scalp. The incident flowed through his mind like a waterfall, from the desecrated face of Isao Shinomiya, the war Kaiju no, 9 had waged against him and humanity, the pained face of his disciple, and lingering feel of your lifeless body cradled against him.

He would never let this happen again.

The elevator shakes a bit as Narumi straightens his gaze.

“And…” Your head perks up again, bright eyes meeting his fuchsia gaze. “Loosen up. I’ve had enough of formalities today.” 

He breathes out your name, in a fervor unheard of from the image of Japan’s strongest. A more boyish, young tone. “Show me results like you did when we first met, (Y/N).”

Your mouth gaped a bit, before the familiar smile you always sported, albeit softer, makes its way back to your face. “At least grieve properly, Gen. I know how much he means to you.”

Maybe it was how you operated, your clockwork, but Gen feels a realization with how a part of him had been laid out to you without him knowing, and with that part alone, you had studied and lived with so graciously, that the way you had softly soothed him with your presence had taken him off guard by how welcoming his subconscious was to it.

You were unlike anyone else he had ever met. No one had ever read him like this.

Even when he was silently processing your words, you simply watched him in understanding, your gaze never making him uncomfortable. He was just so accustomed to your presence.

Had you always been so close, he wonders, when he finally realizes that his fingers had grazed yours. 

Looking at each other in mutual shock, you were the one to recover first, to boldly squeeze his hand with an unspoken vow, to pull him into your presence. To let his grief flow.

It flashes through his mind then, his youth with Isao, all his efforts to earn his gaze, how he fought so hard for results. How he’d never see that damn old man reel back in tears over how much he’s achieved now.

It squeezes his heart.

But at last the memories flow.

And he lets the feel of your warmth meld with his skin, the calloused bumps and slight burn from your bandages rubbing against his own as he finally squeezes back, not even out of his own accord. His fingers moved on their own.

When the moment ends and your touch becomes that of a ghost, Narumi is taken aback by how his hands nearly chased after yours.

He wonders how you feel, but at the ding of the elevator floors, you had awkwardly flitted the topic of the conversation away again, leaving unanswered questions.

“I’ll still oversee Shinomiya’s training. It’s what she needs most.” You stare at the cold doors of the elevator, not really knowing why you’re still letting your mouth run. “I know we both believe in her. She has a bright future ahead.”

You feel Narumi’s gaze land fully on you now. “Exactly why I said what I said. Better not see you slack off and let her catch up to you as fast, (Y/N).”

His tone is lighter now, you note. Your heart fluttered a bit at the more casual honorific too. That relieved you, bringing your smile back. “I have no intention of losing, Gen.” 

The entire incident still felt heavy in both of your hearts, knowing what happened. But as long as you can be there for Narumi, you’ll support him in whatever way he needs.

The elevator dings as you both reach the ground floor. “One more thing.”

You turn to him, blinking. 

“Once you’re healed, report to my office.” He walks out first. “Mr. Isao probably wanted to see this for himself, but–”

“You’re eligible for a numbers suit.”

--

A/N: Whew that was a wild ride.... i might do numbers suit reader or meeting hoshina soon!

The thought of mitsuri! reader fighting on field and hanging on through sheer willpower alone is so admirable... wow, u have a really cool gf gen......... though u dont even have the guts to ask her out yet, wow

[kurosagi-h8r]

Rain of Affection

Character: Alan Mido x reader

Summary: Trapped under the same tent during your camping, you had no choice but to seek warmth from each other under the sudden rainstorm.

tw/cw: just kissing. a bit slowburn maybe. grammatical error might exist

word count: 1340

The air was thick with the scent of wet earth and pine. The rain drops pouring down the tent like bullets made it difficult for you to hear anything else. It was soothing, in a way. But it put you in an awkward situation where you had no choice but to be stuck in the same small tent as your camping mate.

"I'm so sorry for making your tent wet, Mido..." You tried to hide the way your lip quivered from the cold. The jacket that was once protecting you from the rain is now dropping water on the floor.

"Take off your jacket. You'll catch a cold if you keep wearing that." He's sitting awkwardly in front of you, trying to make himself small to give you more space inside. Still, being the one carrying most of the supplies and gear, he had to carry them back in his own tent because of the sudden rain.

You're reluctant to take it off but he was right. You couldn't even hide your shivers anymore. "Maybe later... all of my stuff is outside, you see." Left outside under your unmade tent. You didn't even have the chance to bring it with you inside — not that there's any space left inside Mido's.

He awkwardly inched closer to you — even without doing that you could feel his breath on your skin. Flustered, your first instinct was to lean back, however you were met with bags of his stuff. His hand reached to grab something and you swore his shoulder almost touched you. You even caught a whiff of wood scent on him, most likely from gathering branches for the fire.

"Wear mine," He said.

You stared at the jacket on his hand. "But what about you...?"

“You need it more than me.” Alan sounded rather quiet compared to the sound of rainfall on top of him. “And we don’t know how long the heavy rain will last.”

Again, he was right. He knew more about camping better than you were, of course. You complied and took off your jacket. Some of the water at the hem of your sleeve left your skin freezing. Then Alan took your jacket and folded it to be put away elsewhere.

His jacket was thicker than yours, perfect for camping. Although the difference in size made you drown in it. Your hands could barely show themselves, but it made it easier for you to warm yourself. Looking at him, sitting in front of you wearing only a t-shirt that’s half drenched… won’t he also freeze himself like that? Even if he were, he clearly didn’t show it.

“Aren’t you also cold?” you asked. “I feel bad for having this all to myself…”

“You’re the one more drenched here, (y/n).” And you did. All because you weren’t that good in setting up your own tent. You couldn’t possibly ask him for help with that too on top of the pile of work he insisted on shouldering.

“Still…”

Alan was sitting with his legs crossed beside you, not looking particularly anywhere – for some reason you hope he's not trying to avoid looking at you. But sometimes you do wonder what he's thinking at the moment… because it's getting pretty awkward with just the two of you, unable to go anywhere with the heavy rain happening outside. So you decide to be the one to break the silence.

“Mido… what do you usually do to stay warm?”

That five seconds of another silence felt humiliating. Was it a weird question? Anyone can ask that, right? But if you hear it again, it feels like you were trying to suggest something. Oh God, what if he feels uncomfortable answering it…

As you were about to apologize to him, he responded with, “Exercise. But we can’t exactly do that right now.”

“Ah…” you nodded. It was expected from him. “That's one way to do it.”

Exercising was out of the option. You needed to look for another way so that he wouldn't freeze himself, because giving back his jacket was also not going to happen, he would pull out other excuses to refuse.

Then it came to you…

“We can sit closer…” in a normal situation, you would've wanted to hide yourself from embarrassment. “I can't let you freeze yourself, Mido. Please?”

He stayed quiet for a few seconds. “There’s no option for me to say no, is there?”

A smile tugged at your lips. You scooted closer to him, attempting to embrace him, trying your best to not make things even more awkward than it already has. His body went rigid upon feeling your breath on his skin, his mind was screaming for him to back away but your warmth… Alan couldn’t help but find himself starting to melt to your touch.

“Alan,” you said softly.

He swore it went straight to his heart. You shouldn’t have let his name roll off your tongue like that. What blush was to appear on his face and you had to witness that? What if his heart beats a little too loud that you could hear them? So close to your ears like how close you were that you could count his lashes.

“Can I maybe…”

“Hm?”

“Can I put my head on your shoulder… please?”

Before Alan could react, a sound of thunder roaring not so far frightened you; making you jump at your seat– accidentally pulling him tighter in your embrace. You were trembling all over and his body confirmed it. To think that seconds ago he was only thinking about his own pride and honor…

Alan – not wanting to frighten you even more – carefully wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to him as he whispered in your ear, “It’s alright…”

His touches, albeit too rigid in fear of hurting you, brought you the comfort you needed. His hand soothing you on your back, and the other covering your ear from the loud noise. All you could hear was each other’s breathing, and each breath made you feel drowsy. In that moment all you wanted was to drown deeper in his embrace and never wake up.

“How are you feeling now?” he asked.

Thinking that he’s giving you a sign, you immediately put some space between you and him. But his hold on your back couldn’t get you far from him. “I’m sorry! I-i think I’m good now.”

His soft gaze was fixed on yours. “You sure?” 

The realization sent blood rushing to your face. His face was so close – too close that your nose almost touched. Did he ask me something? To be able to utter any word would be a blessing but your ability to talk seemed to jump out of the tent the moment your eyes locked.

Alan, with all the courage he had, “Y/n.”

“Yes…?”

He’s not sure whether you said something or not just now. Not with you looking up at him and your hair between his fingers. The voices in his head were whispering things to him. Telling him that he should let himself go and feel his fingertips against your skin; that he should do something with how lonely your lips were. You needed more warmth. So let him be your warmth.

‘Please don’t hate me for this,’ was what he wanted to say before he listened to his demons.

“I’m sorry, y/n.”

And then the rainstorm stopped. The world to your senses was no longer thunder in the sky, or the scent of wet dirt, or even the piercing cold in your bones. All you could feel was… Alan. His trembling lips on yours, his hand on the back of your head, the heat spreading through your body.

Your world had become him.

Everything became Alan. You see him when you close your eyes, you taste him at the tip of your tongue, drowning yourself in him and all his desire to have you.

And there’s nothing you want but to seek deeper, into the depth of his affection.

[clairedaring]

Compilation post of my favorite Nadao actors (Nonkul Chanon, JJ Krissanapoom, Tor Thanapob) & Bright Rapheephong giving some interview answers on why they decided to star in queer/LGBTQ+ coded series/roles, some of their takes on being in BL (Y)/Queer series.

note: if you find this post familiar, it's because i've posted this on Reddit before. reposting here for archival purposes

TOR THANAPOB

Tor Thanapob interview in April 2023 when being asked about starring in Midnight Museum (a queer-coded GMMTV series) - (translation by infinitygraph_)

Tor: I think nowadays we should stop talking about gender. It doesn't mean that I have to act with women all the time or I can't act with men at all. I feel that I have proved to everyone that, work is work, and everything is about art. Even my team who are staying with me all the time has all kind of sexualities. It's not strange if someday we want to try telling story of other sexualities that we feel that we might be able to help them telling. If you ask me if today I am like that, today I might not, but I have a chance to understand them more, so I want to do it. Q: Is it because of the spoiler that [Midnight Museum] might be a series Y (BL)? Tor: Nothing to do with it. I tell you, sincerely, it has nothing to do with the spoiler. I just want to say that you don't have to overthink about it because nothing is fixed. Actors are actors. These days there are some award shows don't divide genders into categories anymore. I think this is a great step. Actresses also don't have to act with men all the time, they can act with women. And they both being the main characters Right. Because not all the main characters from every project have to come with the word 'love'. Even if there's 'love', there're many kinds of love. It's up to the audience what kind of feeling they have. Do they feel the same as me or they even feel more than I do? Q: So that means these days you can accept the work without any limit about what you are, which genders... Everything is about the story/script-writing? Tor: Right. I admit that I was afraid before. I wasn't afraid about my image, I was afraid that I would tell the story without understanding it, because I didn't have any experience at all. But at some point I found the chance to be more open-minded, brave to act it out all the way, such as Midnight Museum...

Tor's Vogue Interview in February 2024 on Spare Me Your Mercy as another important milestone as an actor (all translation by saltymarbles on twitter)

Tor: As for Euthanasia, I’ve been interested in it just from its name. If we were to go back in time to the period of the Prime Ministerial elections last year, there was some talk regarding the laws about euthanasia. As such, I know the meaning of it but if I had to explain it, I wouldn’t dare to because I don’t know that deeply about it. Tor: Up to the day that this drama happens, the owner of this project told me he wanted to set this question before anything changed in society: ‘Actually, are humans capable of choosing their death?’. Tor: This question shot through the core of my brain and immediately, i was like: ‘I need to tell this story’. And the role that he hoped to give me also served that function too. It’s a character which sets up the question of ‘what is right?’.(t/n: "this question" likely refers to a more philosophical kind of question regarding morality which asks what does being ‘correct’ mean — what is ‘objective morality’ (if it exists)) Tor: Do the people who are really suffering have the right to ask to leave? (t/n: "leave" is just a polite way of saying die (Thai people usually don’t use directly use the word die when talking about humans, usually use a more polite way like how we say ‘passed away’ or ‘xyz has left us’) Tor: Thus I decided to play along with knowing that the timeline of Euthanasia will remain with one in a hundred (people), so I like shades of the polar opposite. If the first story is navy blue, the other will be red — not close at all.

NONKUL CHANON

Nonkul's response to the question “If you have a chance, would you consider playing in a BL series? If accepted, who do you to co-act with?” in a Facebook Q&A video in 2021

Nonkul: If that series is an interesting storyline for me, I am always open to any kind of genre. I never categorized BL series as an BL series, I just think of it as a series with another plot as part of my work. It is a normal series that can have any of the plots which I will categorize as Romantic Comedy, Drama or whatever. Thus, when I choose the BL series I want to work with, the love preference of the character does not affect my decision. If the plot of the series is interesting, of course I’m gonna do it for sure. Every work that I chose, I personally think it at least enjoyable for me. Of course, if in the future, there are BL series with plots that I find interesting, that I enjoyed the script. “Like, wow, that’s my type!”, I will definitely selected it to be my future project. A good written series is a good series. This is what I believe as an actor. For BL Series, I think I can work with everyone. I don’t think I have anyone in particular. One thing! I desire the character of that person/actor? to be close to the character in the series. At that point I will be satisfied. Sometimes, I as an actor have a chance to work with people who don't have a lot of acting experience. I will still discover something new from him as well. And there is a BL novel which I really like! [Nonkul explains the plot of his favorite BL Novel ‘Peremo’] I would prefer to choose the “heroine” role because it will be a new experience for me as an actor because it will be a new experience for me as an actor. Because basically I only play as a hero role for the main character or support character in my work, but a “heroine” role in a BL series is the only chance for me to play a character more feminine. So it is a new experience for me. [Nonkul continues raving about 'Peremo’]. But if you think that you can make [an adaptation of Peremo], please do not forget me, Nonkul! Pleaseeeeeeee, I will do my best, I promise!!! However, I’m not only fixated on this novel. I’m also open for many more BL series if there is an interesting plot.

Nonkul's response to being ask if he's worried about filming NC scenes in IFYLITA (translation by saltymarbles)

Nonkul: I have to say when I had finished reading [the novel] and it’s made me want to act (in this series). I am probably worried more about the CG because if it’s a fantasy story with time travel, if the CG isn’t good, people will feel that it’s ‘off’. Because CG is something we don’t know anything about until we see the final product. One of the reasons that I accepted this role is because for some series, when I’ve read (the script/novel) for homework, I don’t accept them because there are some scenes that are forced in just for the sake of fan service. And I’m not really into that. If it’s a natural NC scene, then I’m not bothered. I’m a person who places a lot of importance on the story in series making sense. So to me, if an NC scene is reasonable, I won’t be bothered by it. But if it seems forced, I’m not into it. It’s important to show human-ness.

Two clips of Nonkul being asked what he thinks about doing NC scenes in IFYLITA (Clip 1 and Clip 2). Nonkul said that he places great importance on the character's actions. If an NC scene is reasonable he wouldn't mind but would if it's not reasonable. For Nonkul, understanding character is very important, especially for himself as an actor. Nonkul also said previously he had rejected some BL series offers because he can feel when NC scenes are put in just for fan service, which is also a reason why Nonkul accepted to play Jom in IFYLITA is because the love scenes are natural and make sense.

JJ KRISSANAPOOM aka JAYLERR

JJ's interview in February 2024 on Spare Me Your Mercy and his chemistry with Tor (translation by saltymarbles)

JJ: The pilot of ‘Euthanasia’ has been received well since the novel has many fans already who are excited about it. JJ & Tor are similarly excited and are committed to doing their best. The chemistry between Tor & JJ need not be questioned according to JJ since they are already close with each other. The series is in the phase of pre-production currently.

One of my favorite fictional characters of ALL TIME (not just in Thai or BL series) has got to be Tangmo from Great Men Academy (2019) (the series that a lot of BL audience refused to admit it's a queer series). The character Tangmo (played by Jaylerr) was questioned by the press about his gay crush on the protagonist: "Do you think being gay affect your chance of winning the competition?" to which his reply was a stellar "Well then let me ask you something, Does being gay make my good deeds meaningless?"

This isn't the first time JJ has played a queer role, JJ has played a gay character in TWO seasons of the LGBTQ+ series Diary of Tootsies (2016 and 2017). JJ plays Gus, the love interest of the main character.

So even though many BL fans consider Spare Me Your Mercy to be JJ's "first" BL series (which I don't agree with this strict interpretation of BL series), it is definitely not his first QL (Queer Love) series nor queer-adjacent roles as shown through out his filmography.

It is also noteworthy that even during the airing of these series, JJ was already in a public relationship with his fellow actress girlfriend Thanaerng (who has also played sapphic roles). You can see that the real life relationship of JJ or Thanaerng do not influence how/what projects they take on because work is just work :D

BRIGHT RAPHEEPHONG (all translation by saltymarbles on twitter)

Bright at Mono29 Lineup event

Bright: I think that, as I’ve previously said, BL series are just like other ordinary series or movies. Like IFYLITA can be changed to be said to be more like a period drama. I feel that BL is just about two people loving each other, not about whether it’s about male-male or female-male. This series is a period drama and it’s a romantic comedy and the other series is an action drama.

Bright's Interview with LIPS Magazine

Q: What if one day, we’re sucked in by the ship? Bright: I think fans in this day and age don’t need actors to do fan service to that extent. For myself, I’ve never intended for it to be the foundation (of his work). I think it’s a matter of being partners and working together. As such, it’s somewhat good in every aspect because it’s not forcing it. But in some moments, there may some actions that may just be the result of being friends. So even if fans ship, it’s cute to me. (smiles) Q: Do you feel a sense of “newness” stepping into a full-fledged BL? Bright: I feel that BL series are another branch of acting. I don’t think of it as being a specific form of male to male communication. It’s just another type of series just like action dramas, comedy etc, it’s just another kind of role that we can play.

Bright's Interview with Praew Magazine

Q: How is it working with Nonkul? Bright: Nonkul is a person who already does a good job at his work. He does his homework and he is also good at delivering and receiving emotions when on set. It isn’t just Nonkul who is great but the other characters in this series too, this includes P’Tee, the director. We can always talk about ideas which made the work even better. If asked whether entering the scenes with Nonkul made me shy, I would say that BL series are just another branch (of acting), it is just another role. I don't think that when acting with another man, that there’s a need to feel anything. I feel that it’s just another form of work. Another thing is that our workshops were very complete. When we work together I know what level and extent I can go to, what I should do and also trying my best in how I should feel. Thus, I felt at ease working together.

Bright’s Interview with NineEntertain

Q: Are you happy to do “ship” activities like this? Bright: I feel that if there’s an opportunity with regards to being an actor, I don’t want to be stuck in ships like this. I accepted this role with the status of an actor and I want to accept various roles too. It doesn’t always need to be BL or a specific kind of series. I will have another series next year which is ordinary boy-girl relationship and not a BL series. I feel that BL series are just another category of series — not like BL series are just BL series. It’s another category like action, romcom, or drama. It’s just another category. Q: There is still the possibility of coming to act as per usual. (unclear of what the interviewer said) Bright: I feel that with every work opportunity, it’s more about the script and storyline of the work that I were to accept. For example, I accepted the role of Khun Yai in IFYLITA as i felt that it was a script that was suitable for me. I didn’t think of it as “oh it’s a BL series, I need to accept it” because to be honest, I have been contacted for various BL series but because [IFYLITA] storyline is really good, I wanted to try acting in it. Q: What is the difficulty of acting in BL as an actor? Bright: I feel like there isn’t any difference compared to regular series. I feel that when two men love each other or kiss, I don’t think of it as (me and) a man, I think of it more as each of the characters or persons. Q: Does that affect the trend of being a ship? Bright: Hmm… Actually I am not able to answer that because I feel like it depends on people’s perspectives. Because some people may prefer that (an actor) has a (onscreen) gf/bf but some people may be upset about it. I feel like the trend depends on the people’s perspectives as people have different ways of thinking (about it). I think that I am open to listening to all different opinions on this. I feel that working (in this industry), you should be able to explore different things and you should not be fixed in one thing. We need to continue moving onto the next thing. I feel that Non has his own work and I also have my own work, and other actors too have their own upcoming work. It doesn’t mean that coming to act in IFYLITA means that you stay in IFYLITA forever. Q: Some may feel that it’s sad their their ship is coming to an end and that they are gonna work with different people. Bright: Actually, there are still some upcoming pair events but as I’ve said earlier, everyone needs to continue to do their own duties as an actor. Q: What if people change their minds about shipping your ship in the future? Bright: I think it’s a normal thing. I feel that when someone (likes us), they also like our work. I feel like our fanclub likes both Yai and Jom, and they also like Bright and Non. They like the characters and that Bright and Non play these characters and they so they like us at this point. I feel like people who came to like us are also fans of other people. I feel that they are a source of encouragement for me when they like me but I am also glad if they meet someone new or support another person. I feel happy when they come to meet me and if they’re happy when they meet other (celebs), it’s a good thing for them. If there’s a new person, an older person, a regular person or a person they just met that they are happy to meet, I feel that it’s nothing to be stressed about. Let’s say a fan comes and likes me and is following my work and there’s someone new who enters and they like their work, I am glad for them to go support that other person because that person can bring happiness to the fan.

Wow, I really got carried away with this compilation but as a fan who's followed Nonkul, JJ and Tor since their Nadao days, watching them star in queer-coded series/roles like Bangrak Soi 9/1, Hormones, Diary of Tootsies, Great Men Academy... (or in Bright's case a gay character in lakorn Rivalry), I'm just so proud that they have been able to receive "BL" series script offers that they would like to take on.

I've never sat well with the difference in the treatment of the press to "BL actors" and "non-BL actors". I wish there weren't such a distinction because it feels like the notion itself holds a lot of prejudices baggage with it, to both "BL" and "non-BL" actors. To quote a friend on Reddit, "I believe most actors would feel more fulfilled if they knew their fans loved/respected them as individual artists, instead of only seeing them as one part of a unit whose value is lower when 'separated' from their official partner."

[rhondafromhr]

TGWDLM AU where Bill is the main character (below the cut because I rambled A LOT)

He becomes the guy who doesn’t like musicals after he spends all that money on tickets to the Starlight and sits through Mamma Mia and Alice doesn’t even appreciate it (by chance, they see the showing, like, the night before the meteor hits). Pokey then sets his sights on Bill instead of Paul—his hatred of musicals comes from a more emotional place connected to what he treasures most, which will make for a really compelling arc in the last remaining story to tell that Pokey just can’t resist. He also has a clearly defined want (connecting with Alice), so Pokey decides he makes a more suitable musical protagonist.

Little does Pokey know this is going to make things a huge pain in the ass for him. Bill can canonically snap out of Blinky’s control when he sees that Alice is distressed and in danger (Watcher World), so maybe this resistance could apply to other Lords in Black and give him a fighting chance in their apocalypses.

He gets to the school and “Not Your Seed” happens. He thinks he’s too late and he’s devastated, but it turns out Alice is just pretending to be infected to blend in with the rest of the hive so they don’t get her. In this universe, she wrote the song for one of her musicals (she writes musicals as well as plays in this timeline) and sang it because it was the first song that came to mind. It brings up a really uncomfortable, but long awaited conversation between them and they start working through their issues as they try to survive together. This culminates in them understanding each other and their differences better and learning how to play to each other’s strength (in sync, but very much individuals who only work so well together because of their differences, a foil to Pokey’s hive mind).

They manage to destroy the meteor like Paul never could. Bill’s declaration as they finish it off is: “I. Don’t. Like. Your. Musical!” He doesn’t want to say he doesn’t like musicals in general, because he’s trying to be more supportive of Alice’s interests. This is a final insult to Pokey before he’s defeated, because it’s way less dramatic than the actual line from the show and it ruins his grand finale. Even if Bill triumphed and he didn’t get his singular voice, he could have taken comfort in a big, theatrical conclusion with a grand, decisive statement, but Bill won’t even give him that because of his infuriating care for his daughter.

Also Bill is the regular at Beanie’s instead of Paul. Emma likes him because he’s one of the only customers that’s polite to her and he doesn’t make her sing. She doesn’t complain about making his caramel frappe, even though she’s totally the type of barista who judges you for liking sweet sugary drinks that are complicated to make. They bond over their struggles to connect with their families and give each other the best advice they can. He’s encouraging of her pot farm dream, even if he doesn’t understand it, but makes her promise not to sell to Alice because he’s worried about Deb being a bad influence and turning her into a hardcore stoner. When General McNamara asks if she’s a friend or if she’s something more, he replies, “No, but she’s important to me. Isn’t there more than one type of love?” This causes McNmara to wistfully remember a long lost friend (maybe Wilbur Cross) and agree.

[turbineface]

before making this thrust beast machines post i smashed every part of voth of my legs on gym equipment. god it hurts. if only they had a metal scooter that i could swing at my ankles……. 😞

[biblically-accurate-dca]

super disorganized sketch page because i do what i want

[lala-blahblah]

I will never make this because it would be for an audience of one (me) but ever since reading "If we Were Villains" (story about serious drama kids in college who perform shakespeare and deal with a murder) I have been entertaining the thought of a crack fic crossover with High School Musical The Musical The Series where the staff decides they will no longer put on shakespeare after the tragic accident that happened at Thanksgiving, because Shakespeare plays would only increase the tension and drama. So they hire Ms. Jen who decides their spring play will actually be High School Musical (which exists in the 90s in this universe) and it ruins the vibe so much that everyone gives up on being dark and mysterious because they're universally pissed at Ms Jen for making them learn choreoraphed basketball dancing.

[arsenicflame]

why does it feel like the only options anymore are babygirl ed teach into oblivion and pretend like he never did anything bad, or make him the worst person on the fucking planet and incapable of doing anything to earn any forgiveness (not that he even tries)

[crusaderce]

@childoflegend replied: NO because when Shinoa was like “lol I can body you” to Shi I was like ?????? HE’S ONE OF THE STRONGEST ANGELS IN CREATION, wdym this 16 year old girl can defeat him just cuz she was one of his experiments 😭

NO SERIOUSLY-! like you mean to tell me the FIRST PROGENITOR. GODS FAVORED ANGEL. LITERALLY LUCIFER IN ALL BUT NAME- is losing to this???? they don't give us a reason for Shinoa being as strong as she is other than 'experiments' like how the fuck?? and why the hell would shi make a girl strong enough to repel HIMSELF- mUCH LESS HOW???? and legit he has not had a single victory since he first tried to take yu and mika and the manga expects us to still think of him as a threat????? how??? what happened to my sassy and teasing first progenitor that blew everyones shit when he first appeared and was named???

[sculptambitio]

ㅤ/ This particular D.iavolo makes me feel things-

[irrepressible-miracle]

I keep thinking about the similarities and differences Miquella and PCR have with Allmind and G5 iguazu respectively and how one works within the game and was better recieved while the other, not so much.

[bluebellhairpin]

Y'all have gotta stop saying that 😭

[marchlione]

ngl the whole shandy plotline makes me feel like :\

[videogamelover99]

You know, after watching Emotion a second time, I'm starting to think Marinette knows who Chat Noir is.

[pinkmandias]

these quotes from rian johnson are exactly why i loved breaking bad so much and stopped watching the w*lking d**d after they fully admitted to needlessly and brutally killing off characters to drive the story forward/service other characters/upset their audience

[elegyofthemoon]

fweedom, dendwo, spiwal abyss, tank!

THANKS WENDY!!

genshin ask

freedom: if you were blessed with a vision, which one would you want to have (and which one do you think you’d actually get)?

hrmm I wouldn't know like what I'd be blessed with... I feel like based on what my friends have said, I come off v Pyro !! so I guess I'd trust them with that as what I'd actually get

As for which I want, I wish I got a Hydro one. I mean, come on, that Vision is sOOOOOOOOO pretty. I'd abuse it so much lmaooo

dendro: what do you wish mihoyo would implement into the game?

I feel like they already did with the whole "logic game" thing as per Sumeru. I just really like my logic games LKAJSHF

spiral abyss: what’s your favorite part of genshin: puzzles, exploration, domains, building characters, or lore?

It's between exploration and lore, whether that's character lore or world lore! There's something way more satisfying for me about learning about the world that the characters are in and learning the context of the world. And moreover, I don't think there's ever been a game beforehand where I found myself falling in love with the world of a game than I have in Genshin. Like I love places in this game the same way I'd fall in love with characters just because there's so much history and lore that they had put into a place and it makes it all the prettier and more satisfying to explore. Not to mention, the satisfaction of being able to pull out the pieces of the story by your own hands than to be handed it. It's super satisfying and makes me fall in love w it all the more

tank: which character do you feel is criminally underrated?

GOOD QUESTION I feel like I'm the worst person to ask this about because my "underrated" would be the faceless characters that are less talked about because you only know them if you read artifacts and books and etc.

Like I am obsessed with Rostam for example. And I'm obsessed with the Sunchildren and Clymene. I'm obsessed with Orobashi, the Princess of Sal Vindagnyr, and Imunlaukr because I love thinking about the possibilities of how their story would go/play out till its end. We're given all these pieces of their story but my god do I want to see it all play out before my eyes, but I guess that's all for my own imagination

...As for the playable and characters with actual faces, hrm... I feel like the character I rarely see talked about is...probably Kokomi? At least in terms of characters I like but is not super praised or anything. I say this but even my appreciation of Kokomi also comes from the fact I've been swimming in Enka/Watatsumi lore for like a good few months so like seeing the connections between her and her land makes me love her character more AND OH MY GOD THE WAY THEY INCLUDED ALL THE WATATSUMI LORE INTO HER CHARACTER PREVIEW???? DUDE.... ITS AMAZING and gave me more appreciation for her character pv. downright my fave pv <3