#not really actually more so process of elimination

[nerdyenby]

Thinking about swapping where ninja landed after the merge (idea from @destinysbounty)

First things first I want Pixal in the administration. I was obsessed with that fan theory and I think she would take over and/or dismantle the whole organization

Next I want Lloyd in the land of monsters. Come on guys, that would get in his head so much and we could explore more oni!lloyd

I really like the original idea of Jay and Cole switching places, but for the sake of originality, I suggest Nya in the land of lost things. We could get some lovely angst about her still getting reacquainted with her powers and her body after coming back from being the ocean, and with the finders we could have her spit in the face of the maternal allegations. She enables Fritz and Spitz like no other, but if you mess with any of her new siblings you’re dead. Idk, just the ninja who forgot herself ending up where the forgotten reappear?? I think it has potential (Zane too, tho)

Next up is Jay. I’m putting him at the monastery because he’s the designated cockroach. He’s watched his friends die over and over again, but he hasn’t really been forced to sit in that feeling. I think he needs to be left alone with the thought that everyone he loves died. For character development.

We’re getting to the point where process of elimination is a significant factor, but I vibe with Zane in the land of madness. We don’t actually know where Nya started, but she wandered around for a while before getting involved in the cragling war. Zane would absolutely explore and then get drawn into “protecting those who cannot protect themselves.” Plus we could get some Ice Emperor feels because waking up in a strange, unfamiliar land with no idea how to get home is not that foreign of a concept for Zane

Now we’re down to Cole and Kai with the options of… tech capsule one and tech capsule two. Yeah, no. We don’t know what the deal is with those yet but I’m just gonna take this opportunity to put these guys wherever I want in the merged lands that isn’t already taken

Ok so first things first (penultimate but whatever) I’m putting Cole in the spectral lands because. Make Cole think he’s dead again 2k25. Also we could get some more Morro content, draw out the parallels between the two and really let Andrew Francis get his screentime. Ghost!cole angst please and thank you

And last but not least: Kai in cloud kingdom. Tell me it’s not a banger idea, you can’t. We can get a true, undeniable dismissal of the notion that he’s still upset over not being the green ninja and he can get so very frustrated with the monks. He has all this information at his fingertips, but there are no answers to what happened or where his family went. He wants to help, he wants to do something, but there’s nothing to be done. Also we can get some more focus on Euphrasia. Kai fails the stop-collecting-younger-siblings-challenge yet again. He still meets and mentors Wyldfyre and she’s his first student, but he and Euphrasia develop a sort of camaraderie despite their initial differences in ideology

[eyestrain-addict]

Deltarune chapter 4 spoilers

Before ANYONE tries to say it, no, the person Kris was talking to on the phone isn't Gaster, and I am 100% certain of this. I haven't found all the secrets yet, (in fact I was mostly just trying to get the 'normal' playthrough done, borderline going out of my way to avoid secrets) but I've noticed some people haven't realized yet one of Toby's holdovers from homestuck is the importance of typefaces in dialouge. Characters rarely deviate from certain cadences. For example, Sans and Papyrus obviously speak in fonts, but papyrus always talks in all caps, while sans 'never' uses uppercase. We may never have been explicitly told any of the dialouge is Gasters, but we have a pretty good idea of what his dialouge sounds like (outside of Wingdings)

GASTER.

ALWAYS TALKS.

LIKE THIS.

So no, I'm 100 percent certain the person on the phone isn't Gaster. My guess? Either Asgore or Carol. Carols dialouge sounds the most like the phone dialouge. Though Asgore is connected to all the symbols (goes to church every night, living off the mayors dime, and was the previous police chief.) and he has his backroom with the corkboard.

Again, I've only done the main route so far, thus only scratched the surface of new info (haven't even done the weird route yet, though I found the area) but I'm certain Asgore has more to do with this than he's letting on. My pet theory is that Dess isn't missing, but passed away, and the Mayor is trying to find a way to bring her back via dark world with Kris and Asgore's help.

(Off topic but Chapter 4 with Gerson honestly really affected me, I dont know why. I had already figured out he was dead before you even leave the first dark world, so i just kept saying to myself 'Susie,,, He's gone,,, we need to go...' and almost cried when the leitmotif of 'battle against a true hero' started playing during the final fight. And side note if you check kris's phone when you get back in their body, they wiped the messages and call history. I found that completely on accident.)

Lotta feelings right now. Im sure I'll have more later. But theory crafting for this game is a team effort and we all gotta pitch in. I can't decompile the game, but I can remember useless info.

TL;DR Kris's phone call was not with Gaster, and I think Asgore has more to do with this than he's letting on. Kris continues to be a complex character.

[shoot-i-messed-up]

Hey is there any way to do a sympathetic or even good-aligned Orange Lantern? We’ve had sympathetic/good red lanterns, yellow lanterns, star sapphires…I feel like orange is next, but how can avarice/greed be good? Maybe a character with a god complex is so bad it wraps back around from being a flaw to a virtue—like, maybe they’re so greedy that they think of the entire universe as being part of their possession, so anything that threatens the universe is something they would fight against. Like the same kind of vibe as a dragon that thinks of an entire village as their hoard, so they protect the village. Or maybe their greed manifests itself as greed for knowledge or greed for worship or greed for friends/allies (as, perhaps, types of “power”), so even if they’re not like fully heroic necessarily, they can still be complex and complicated and can play off of the other Lantern Corps in interesting ways.

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

creating a spreadsheet of the trio's lines in the webnovel vs webcomic (as one does), and. i am on the FLOOR their characterisation differs so much from the webnovel and webcomic?!?!??? 😭😭 they took away all of hestio's flavour!!! and Ephael is a lot more stereotypical sunshine too i am losing my mind

Gone:

In the toy mansion, Ephael said that Tesilid was not just his friend, but his "best friend", so Ailette gave him more food. Hestio got very visibly sad and angry.

Whenever they're in battle, Hestio kind of talks to Ephael like he's a P*kemon ("Ephael, go and bite them!" / "Uh... okay.")

Ephael is pretty quiet and subdued throughout the toy mansion, while in the comic he's very artificially cheery.

ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF HESTIO'S LINES WHEN THEY SNUCK TESILID FOOD IN PRISON IS GONE?!?!?!?? 😭😭😭😭😭😭 THE VIBES ARE SO DIFFERENT

Webnovel has BOTH Hestio and Ephael handing over food (in the webcomic only Ephael brought food. I dunno what Hestio was doing there.)

ONLY the webnovel has Hestio's extremely cute "What? Are you going to refuse the food because the rules are important? (annoyed but also genuinely scared)" / ".....I thought I'd have to shove the food down your mouth if you refused. Well, eat up."

The webcomic has Hestio suddenly ruin the entire mood by saying "🙄😒 did you know 🤓 the vatican is taking things out on you bc you refuse to kill heretics. also idc if the heretics are actually evil or not, what matters is that the vatican wants to know if youre on their side." like stfu please 😭 In the webnovel Hestio only brings this up because Ephael went "cheer up! if it werent for the city making a fuss, the vatican wouldn't have done this" and Hestio corrected him bc he wanted Tesilid not to misunderstand his situation with the Vatican.

What did they make comic!Hestio so callous for !!!!! 😭😭😭 Hestio is a SOFTIE with a mean streak and sharp tongue!!!

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ take a seat ] q. hughes

day 3 of kinktober (face sitting w/ quinn hughes)

paring : Quinn Hughes x fem!reader

summary: Quinn grows a playoff beard and his girlfriend loves it. the day he decides to shave it after the Canucks get eliminated, she tells him how she really feels about it and Quinn gives her the moment she’s been wanting since he started growing it before he shaves it

warning(s) : smut ! face sitting / riding, oral (f receiving), fingering

author’s note : been waiting to write this one hehe. it’s on the shorter side but i hope y'all enjoy anyway

kinktober schedule

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The playoffs have treated her and Quinn so well. Quinn because he got to captain the Canucks to the second round after a short 3 year playoff drought. Her because Quinn grew a playoff beard over the past month or so and she's barely managed to keep her hands off of him while he was playing.

She loves everything about the playoffs, but especially the fact that Quinn hasn’t shaved in a few weeks. He looks so good with longer facial hair and she loves the way it tickles her lip when he kisses her. She kinda just wants him to go down on her for as long as possible to feel it against her core.

The thought of Quinn eating her out with the beard is enough to soak her. The feeling of his beard on her core is something she thinks about an unhealthy number of times over the course of three weeks. She’s gotten off multiple times just at the thought alone, especially when he's away playing in Nashville and Edmonton. She’s wouldn’t know what to do if it happened.

But the Canucks were eliminated by Edmonton last night so it’s time for Quinn to shave off the beard he has spent the past few weeks growing. He doesn't do it the day after their season ends because he wants to just lay around and have the laziest day ever, so she gets an extra day to admire him.

The morning of the day Quinn wants to shave his beard though, she wakes up before he does. He stopped setting alarms once the Canucks got eliminated two nights ago but she is naturally an early riser. She doesn't dare move because part of Quinn's morning routine is shaving. If she moves and wakes him up, he's going to go shave and that's the last thing she wants right now.

She softly sighs as morning Vancouver sun creates a muted orange glow throughout the room. Quinn already looks so good and he's not even awake yet.

All because of that stupid beard he grew.

Quinn begins to stir moments after she wakes. His eyes flutter open and look bright in the morning sunlight.

"It's creepy to stare at people while they sleep, baby," he tells her, his voice slurred since he just woke up. Also kind of raspy, which she loves.

"Not my fault you look pretty all the time," she replies. "I also just woke up a few minutes ago so give me a break. I wanted to admire my boyfriend before he woke up and started making comments that ruined the whole vibe."

He groans and rubs his face. He touches his facial hair and hums. "I gotta go get rid of this mess," he says. "Then you can admire me all you want, okay?"

Her eyes widen and Quinn begins to move to get out of bed. She quickly grabs his arm to stop him from getting any further.

"I like that mess," she finally admits to him. He turns back around and looks at her. She begins to talk before her brain can catch up to what she's saying. "I mean, you look really hot with that mess on your face. Except, I don't think it's a mess. I wish you wouldn't run off and shave it first chance you get."

Quinn blinks at her slowly like he's processing what she said to him. A smile grows on his lips and she presses her lips into a line.

"Come here," Quinn tells her as he lays back down. She blinks at him, confused. "I know you've thought about it. I've seen the way that you would look at me then excuse yourself to go use the bathroom." She feels her face get hot in embarrassment. She thought she was more subtle than she actually was.

She plays with her fingers while she watches Quinn get comfortable. "Quinn, I-"

"Come take a seat, pretty girl," he interrupts as he runs his fingers over his beard. "Sit on and ride my face. I know you want to so I am giving you what you want before I go shave."

Who is she to say no to him? He's offering so she might as well take it.

Without anymore hesitation, she moves so she's kneeling above his face with her knees on the pillow on either side of his head. Lucky for her, she's only wearing one of Quinn's Canucks t-shirts and a pair of underwear. Nothing else.

Quinn kisses the inside of her thigh right by her core while he pushes the fabric of the t-shirt up. She hums softly as her body finally begins to wake up. She feels the gentle scratch of his facial hair on her skin and she gnaws on her bottom lip. "Oh my God," she sighs.

"I haven't even done anything yet," Quinn laughs.

"Shut up and do something then," she retorts. "Please, Quinn." She's not above begging at this point.

He licks a stripe over her panties, which are soaked by now. Like she said, the thought alone makes her drip. His finger follows his tongue and she hums. Quinn pushes the fabric to the side and runs a finger through her soaked folds. She bites down on her bottom lip to keep from making any loud noises since it is morning and their neighbors are probably still sleeping.

She grabs onto the headboard above Quinn's head as he runs his tongue through her folds. "Fuck, Quinn!" She cries out. "Oh my God."

The feeling of the gentle scratch of his facial hair is almost too much for her. Quinn wraps his lips around her clit and hums, sending a shock through her body. It almost jumpstarts her own movements as she begins to roll her hips.

"That's it, baby," Quinn says against her core. "Take what you want."

His hands rest on her waist and he pulls her down so she's completely sitting on his face but he's still able to breathe. His tongue continues to run through her folds as she rolls her hips. Her core grinds across his face and she feels the scratch of his facial hair with each movement. She welcomes the new feeling. It only adds to her pleasure despite the beard burn she'll probably have when all this is over.

Quinn hums every so often, and she groans with every hum. Her grip on the headboard gets stronger the longer she moves. She's almost afraid that she'll lose her balance despite his hands keeping her from falling.

One of his hands slides up under the loose t-shirt and cups her breast. She throws her head back and lets out a borderline pornographic moan as she continues to ride Quinn's face. One of her hands flies to Quinn's messy hair, fingers finding a home.

He slides his other hand so his thumb can access her clit. He rubs the sensitive nub while continuing to run his tongue though her folds with each movement. "Oh my fucking- Quinn," she cries out. "Holy-"

"Look so pretty riding my face, pretty girl," Quinn mumbles. His words shoot straight to her core. "Fuck."

His thumb moves and slides into her. She gasps and her movement falters for a second while she recovers from the addition. "Quinn," she groans, holding the 'N' sound.

Between his tongue, his thumb, and his facial hair, she's not sure how she hasn't come all over his face by now. Her legs are shaking so she has to stop moving, but Quinn completely takes over despite being under her.

He speeds up his thumb for a second before switching fingers, using his pointer and middle fingers instead. She welcomes the familiar stretch.

His fingers and tongue are enough to bring her to the edge. She's white-knuckling the headboard with one hand while her other hand remains in Quinn's hair.

"Gonna come," she pants. "Quinn. I'm close."

"Told you to take what you want," Quinn replies. "So take what you want."

Quinn speeds up his fingers and curls them in a 'come here' motion. The gentle scratch of his facial hair turns less gentle as he speeds up his tongue movements, but she still loves it.

She throws her head back and cries out his name as she comes. She involuntarily rolls her own hips so her core grinds against his face again. Her fingers curl in his locks so she has something to hold on to as she reaches her climax. She loses her vision for half a second because of how hard her orgasm hits her.

Her body turns to jelly as she recovers. With Quinn's help, she's able to lie back down beside him. Her breathing is labored and she stares up at the ceiling, unable to move to look at her boyfriend.

All this morning showed her is that Quinn needs to grow out his facial hair more often because it made her come harder than she ever has before. She can't move for about ten minutes after her orgasm.

When she's fully conscious again, she looks over at Quinn. He didn't go and shave yet.

"I think I'm going to keep this for another day or two," he tells her. "Just for you. That is going to happen a few more times before it goes away."

She smiles and rolls so she can touch his face. "I'm going to need you to grow it out like this again soon because holy shit, Quinn," she giggles. "So hot. Felt so good."

Quinn matches her smile. "Maybe over the summer," he tells her. "No promises though."

"Gonna need my favorite seat back at some point."

"Next year when we make playoffs against for sure."

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[1322daysofdoey]

Spreading my orange Kevin agenda... Read my ramblings... This is going to be stupidly long as I try to explain everything here so I apologize in advance.

To try to break this down, basically the main reason I think Kevin is orange and not red is because of the arrangement of the heads in his monster form, which are arranged in a similar "triangle" fashion to the colors on Doey himself (one on his top-right, one on his top-left, one on the bottom-center). Not only that, but this color arrangement is ALSO present in his logo (two "tall" yellow and orange letters - d and h, and one "low-hanging" red letter between them - g), so I get the impression that this was done on purpose rather than a coincidence. So, looking at his monster form, Kevin is easily identifiable by his angry expression, and with this arrangement in mind he corresponds to the orange color placement.

So, then, between the last two heads, how did I determine which one is Matthew and which one is Jack? The answer is going back to the logo and looking at the hands. Each one is posed differently, and I feel that this is reflective of each boy's personality. The orange hand is a fist, which further supports that color representing Kevin due to his aggression. The red hand is pointing, which I feel is a good representation of Matthew's leadership and charisma. So then Jack is yellow, the open hand, by process of elimination. You could counterargue that a pointing finger could be accusatory, and that a fist in the air could represent leadership. But because of the previous point about the consistent arrangement of the colors/faces, I'm pretty confident about Kevin being orange, so that really just leaves me with the other interpretation.

I also think that these colors make more sense when thinking about the actual body parts that the colors are applied to. Orange is one of Doey's arms, which I think fits much better for Kevin than the legs would. Meanwhile, I think the legs work well for Matthew because he's the "support" and stability of the trio. It also makes the "three boys in a trench coat" jokes work better this way lol, you make Matthew the "legs" of the disguise because he's the oldest and tallest to carry the other two but then don't even make him the color of the legs? smh

Then my last two points are a bit more minor, but I wanted to mention anyway:

Firstly, the emotional association of the colors. I feel like the red Kevin fanon is specifically because red is seen as "the angry color" or "the bad color" (Kevin is NOT bad or evil FYI but you know how some people are about this sort of thing...), but then they're forgetting that red is also the color of love. (I mean hello, we're talking about the same game where Bobby BearHug exists?) Matthew has so much love for friends and family, I think it suits him well. And then orange is still a "fiery" color that can fit for Kevin's intense emotions, yeah?

Then secondly, the official "order" of the boys. Their experiment numbers are given a letter at the end to differentiate the three, with Jack being 1322A, Kevin being 1322B, and Matthew being 1322C. Youngest to oldest. And, if Kevin is orange instead of red, it would also make them ordered by color hue. A, B, C. Yellow, orange, red. It just makes sense, it feels right. It feels like something that would be done on purpose. Especially when combined with everything else I've already pointed out in this post.

Gonna finish this off with addressing another potential counterargument, though:

"But Doey's own character designer drew art where they color-coded the boys as yellow Jack, orange Matthew, and red Kevin! So doesn't that make those colors official?" Bro they literally say in their post that it "isn't canon" and is just fan art. You can already tell that it's not canon just based on Jack being a literal infant baby that looks nothing like the canon kid we see in the video lol. Furthermore, while Max is Doey's character designer, that doesn't mean they were responsible for any of the symbolism, foreshadowing, etc. regarding his backstory. They designed the character, but that doesn't mean they designed the logo for example. And, interestingly, in their concept art for monster Doey, you know what's noticeably different from the final version? The three heads inside Doey's mouth. They all share the same expression, so we can't tell which one is Kevin in this version. We don't know who was responsible for minor adjustments between this concept art and the final in-game design, so it's possible that someone on the team other than Max wanted that detail to be included. So in other words, I think that if each boy is indeed meant to correspond to a specific color on Doey, I don't think it was Max who chose which kid is which color, nor would they necessarily even know the "correct" color-coding since the possible hints about it that I talk about in this post are easy to miss if you're not hopelessly brainrotted like I am, and aren't important to understanding the lore. So they may have just fallen into the same "red = angry" logic that most of the fandom did.

But yeah whatever, man. I just wanted to get this out there.

[pankielovesfan]

How would Fan react when learning about the reveal? Read my fun long ramble!

I need to put this down somewhere. Here is my fun not so structured analysis!!!! this is something i think a lot about. of course I do.

I doodled a small little graph of reactions I think he would go through that I will elaborate on further in the paragraphs below. I'm not sure about the order but it'd be something like these stages when processing it - most likely.

This is analyzed from the idea that Fan did not previously predict this in any way or expect it, but I do also suspect he might know! (Which, I'll explain later for his reaction to that.)

Fan's an incredibly emotional and impulsive person, he would definitely have a strong outer reaction to the information. This may be biased coming from me since Fan is my favorite to analyze but aside from Suitcase he would probably be handling it the worst after being told about it, OR just having the most notable reaction! This is considering he was not made to be a contestant but to devote his love, identity, and purpose to the show, which makes him revolve around the show much more than anyone else - since it is a built-in interest in him that he's dedicated his entire existence to, even when he tried to build himself beyond it- he still surrounds himself with Inanimate Insanity even after his elimination. It is forever tied to his mind and interests contrary to many contestants who try to separate from the show and competition entirely.

Fan's most substantial development in Hatching The Plan was the fact that there were many possibilities out there for him to discover for himself (and that others were there for him through that change and discovery). While he recognizes this and states on Fan's Fantastic Features that he's trying to test his limit and push past his comfort zone (notably while in a safe controlled environment where this change can occur comfortably for him) he is still "stuck" in Inanimate Insanity whether he recognizes this or not. He is at Hotel OJ, surrounded by the contestants, and he is still on MePhone4's island, like any other contestant. While Fan has convinced himself that he is more than just a fan of the show and that he is improving as a person, this development is still slow (obvious, coming from a person such as Fan who struggles with it) and he is still heavily attached to the core of his personality - the core which he was built to be in the first place. His love for the show is so clearly his own dedication and passion, and it truly does feel like his own CHOICE to love the show as much as he does. Even if he was created for it, it is a part of him that he loves and puts confidence into.

I swear these earlier points play into this bear with me,

So once Fan is told he was created by MePhone4, after the initial shock dies down, he would be in denial of it, of course, as Fan would react to any new information he had not considered about the show. Some "It can't be"s and some "There is absolutely no way"s being said by him, especially if he had not foreseen this coming. An instinctive reaction coming from Fan (which would also apply to Test Tube) is immediately questioning it, wanting answers- most definitely from MePhone4 himself. I don't think he'd believe Cobs if he told him, maybe not even Suitcase or Test Tube, he'd need to find the evidence for it and piece together if this even made sense at all.

Once he starts to consider it and all the pieces fit together for him as he looks back on everything, he'll let go of that denial. That's when it first really hits him. One of his first reactions is positive. He'd find validation in the fact he was created specifically for the show, he'd be honored and glad he was an actual piece of the show- not just a viewer or contestant, he was actually part of the show he loved so much. Fan puts a lot of his confidence into being the number 1 fan of inanimate insanity, as everyone knows, and being questioned on this or having people challenge him always strongly shows his insecurity over it. But knowing that he quite literally is, without a doubt, the biggest fan of inanimate insanity- and that he actually had this purpose and that he was made for what he loved to do- that would validate him immensely. He would thrive on his notion for a while until the existential crisis started to leap in.

He'd try to be acceptant of it, and this time around he would be in denial of his own emotions. He'd try to show how well he was taking this and to pride himself in being the biggest ii fan ever, so he puts up a confident front which is obviously not normal to anyone who sees him. He'd try his best not to think about the other implications of his existence being made for reality TV. He would try his best to appear in control and unburdened to prove to both others and himself that he was taking it well. I don't think this stage in his realization will go on for long. I think this would fluctuate a LOT depending on his mood.

At one point he does start to question himself. He overthinks his existence and his emotions, and if they are genuine- what if what he feels is fake? Just generated love? What if he truly doesn't like Inanimate Insanity? What's a real feeling from him and what's a fake one?! A million thoughts that some may not even make sense but this is where the existentialism really gets to him. Every time he felt excitement or love for the show, was that even his own emotions? Was that just made by MePhone4 so he could get some appreciation for his show- and maybe he'd get mad that MePhone4 kept dismissing him. Maybe he'd wonder why he was made if he's not being recognized and rewarded for how much dedication- if it was even his own- that he put into appreciating MePhone4, a dedication that was going unnoticed or deemed annoying by him.

Something I mentioned earlier, about Fan learning to embrace new opportunities for himself and about how he was still trapped in the show. He realizes he is forever tied to the show, and all his attempts at making changes for himself and being more than just a fan suddenly feel... meaningless to him. All he was ever made for from the start was to be a fanboy of the show, and he had tried to build himself around that. But those efforts were for nothing if this is all he ever was- just a fan. That was his entire identity, he was never anything other than that. This is all that could ever come out of him. So what was the point in trying? His shell might've been the only place he'd ever felt safe in anyways- and once he remembers it, his old coping mechanisms seem incredibly tempting. Fan would retreat back into his shell. Things just seemed so much simpler if he did, he wouldn't have to deal with all this overthinking if he just stuck to what he was made for, something he already had found so much comfort and significance in. He uses his shell to cope once again, regressing, turning back to his purpose. This would be how he copes with this new information, by embracing what it taught him that he was. He'd be in this state for a while, he'd probably try to pretend he never even learned anything and creating a false reality of his own security. Being a fan is still important to him, and something he feels so deeply about that he's urged into fully embracing it again. early season 2 fan is back babyyyy!

Not sure how long it would go on for, or even how long it would take for him to go through these stages, but this is somewhat of the process I believe he'd have! I think Suitcase and Fan should have a talk about dealing with all of this. possibly. I feel like it will boil down to "if it feels true to you, that's all that matters." for Fan dealing with this. I could definitely see Suitcase saying something similar to him.

As for him reacting to it after already having theorized this would happen or at the very least suspect it, I think it would go similar to that one drawing I made. He'd be proud at first, and it wouldn't sink in as fast because his pride comes first! But to have it actually confirmed to him would then send him into that same realization as stage 3 of processing it. Something something, it goes the same after this.

Anyways i love fannnn i could talk about him for hours boy i love you i wonder if we'll even get everyone's reactions to the reveal or if they'll even tell anyone else but if we do Fan would definitely have a prominent reaction to it <- guy who loves fan saying this. look at this bias

[fireya-x]

family dinner

AO3 Link (for the full tag list) || masterlist

John Price x Reader

John asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for one night, to save himself from annoying questions from his family. Turns out, you're actually who he really wants.

[9k+ words]

cw: smut, piv sex, cowgirl, handjobs, come eating

Embossed golden script on cream white card paper - it was an invitation to his grandmothers' birthday party, alright. A subtle attempt at elegance from a woman who thought tea and a tin of biscuits solved most problems. John sighed.

He already knew the drill; his mother, every aunt and uncle, cousins and second cousins twice removed would be there, armed to the teeth with baby pictures and probing questions to make him wish he’d stayed in another country in some godforsaken warzone.

The phone ringing cut through John’s meager dinner of takeout curry, one of his favorites, when he was back in his flat for a short time leave. He picked it up and answered before checking, as he usually did, expecting it to be Laswell – but that voice wasn't Kate.

“Jonathan, my dear boy, did you receive the invitation?” His grandmother’s voice was a robust cackle for her age, a force of nature that kept her so fit at ninety.

“Just held it in my hands seconds ago, Nan.” 

“Ninety years young, can you believe it?”

“Never a dull moment,” he answered, picking at the takeaway container lid.

She laughed lightly, then cleared her throat. “Listen, dear. The caterer is extra fussy. Your opinion is special to me, you know that. It’s not like I get to plan this every day”

Here it comes.

“What are you thinking?”

“I’m asking you what you want, John. I have everything else planned.” Of course she did. 

“It’s your birthday, Nan. I’ll eat anything,” he sighed. “Toffee pudding can’t be missing from any birthday, though.”

“Of course, that’s a must! Especially with you visiting! You’ve always loved it as a little boy. Now tell me, is your girl more a partial to fish or chicken?”

The fork clattered onto the styrofoam. John almost choked.

“You’ll be bringing someone, aren’t you?”

He should have said no. He should have clarified, for the thousandth time, that his occupation left no room for romantic walks on the beach and candlelit dinners. Maintaining relationships wasn’t something John did, especially when his job included more explosions than birthday candles on her birthday cake. And apparently, eliminating terrorists and global threats was not a suitable substitute for great-grandchildren.

But there was something in her voice. Hope? Excitement to finally see her grandson with a woman at his side? It was her 90th birthday, after all. Who knew how long John would have her still? Seeing him happy was the greatest gift he could give her, and he knew that.

John sighed. “Yes, I will bring someone.”

That she didn't squeal was unexpected, but he knew his mother was right there with her, listening to everything.

Fuck.

What was he supposed to do? Try Tinder, maybe? How hard could it be to find a woman who’d go on a date with him? But John hated every single aspect of using his phone for anything other than texting and calling — and he gave up when the app asked him too many questions about himself.

That’s when he heard footsteps outside his apartment. He remembered that beautiful, chatty neighbor of his. You'd watched his flat and watered his plants a few times when he was deployed. You’d only met briefly, but given John’s sparsely decorated way of living, he wasn’t worried you would steal anything. But his grandmother's plants were something holy to him, and you kept them alive, and that made you a trustworthy person in his book.

And he would be lying if he didn't admit he'd stolen a glance at you here and there, always hidden in a hoodie or a way-too-big raincoat that obscured your figure, and something about it intrigued him.

Before his brain could even process what his feet were doing, he stumbled to the front door and opened it, revealing you, arms full of groceries, struggling to get the key into the door.

“Need help with that?” A low, grumbling voice startled you, and you almost dropped the bag full of fruits and veggies.

“Jesus, you scared me.”

John chuckled, then took the bag from you as if it was something he'd casually do all the time. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to.”

“Thanks,” you muttered, putting the key in the lock. You took the bag from him and wanted to escape this awkward situation with your way-too-good-looking neighbor as fast as possible. But before you could close the door, he intervened.

“Hey, uh, I have a question.” John’s hand ran through his hair, a nervous gesture that betrayed his usual confidence.

“Yes?”

“I – I kinda promised my grandma that I’d bring a girlfriend to her 90th birthday party, and, well –”

“You don’t have one?” The question came out sounding more shocked than you intended. You were certain he had women lining up for him.

“Yeah, I mean, no, I don’t.” His gaze dropped to the floor for a fleeting moment, as if suddenly embarrassed by the admission. You tilted your head, looking at him expectantly.

“So, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend? What’s in it for me?”

“Free fancy food?” He smiled crookedly, and you were done for. How could you say no to that smile? The same smile that had been haunting your thoughts ever since he’d given you his keys to his apartment? Your heart was pounding.

“It’s a date,” you said, the words slipping out before you could overthink it. The relief that flooded his eyes made something inside you flutter.

“Thank you, I owe you one. Six p.m. on Friday, alright?”

“What should I wear?”

John wasn’t prepared for that question. And he didn’t mean to check you out – but he did. His eyes wandered from your boots, over your hips, up to your breasts – where his gaze lingered a second too long— and then to your face.

“It’s a garden dinner. I’m sure you’ll look nice in anything,” he said, the words feeling ridiculously inadequate the moment they left his lips.

“Very helpful, thanks.” He braced himself for a sarcastic retort, but you chuckled, shaking your head. “I’ll figure it out. Have a nice evening.”

You retreated to your apartment, leaning back against the closed door, letting out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. Your heart was still pounding. Did John, your neighbor, ask you out? The same John who seemed so unapproachable, wrapped in that aura of intensity he always wore, who disappeared for weeks on end to go on “business trips” and returned with a deep shadow under those blue eyes? 

What did he even do when he disappeared? You'd never asked. Even when he'd given you his keys so you could look after his flat while he was gone, there was nothing that gave away what exactly he did or where he went.

The small conversations you’d shared had always been just that— small nothings, polite exchanges with your friendly neighbor. Still, those infrequent encounters always sent your stomach into a nervous frenzy. 

You rummaged through your closet, trying to find something that screamed “I'm a cool, collected woman who casually dates mysteriously handsome men ” without looking like you’d overdone it. A garden party could literally mean anything, especially since you knew nothing about his family. Were you supposed to pick a nice, flowing dress or stick with casual jeans and a shirt? You had no idea.

You stopped your mind from spiralling further. It wasn’t a real date. It was a fake date . 

What were you thinking, agreeing to this? You were doubting your own sanity — but then you remembered the crinkled corners of his eyes when he smiled, the warmth that radiated from him when he’d helped you with your groceries – saying “no” to him wasn’t even an option. There was something about him that drew you in, a gravitational pull you couldn’t resist, even if it meant playing pretend.

The sundress you wore – he couldn’t even pinpoint the colour, something soft and warm, summery, like the sky just before dusk – hugged your curves in all the right ways, the delicate straps showcasing the elegant line of your neck and collarbone. His gaze traced the gentle swell of your breasts beneath the thin fabric, the way the skirt flowed over your hips, his mind already picturing how it would look bunched up around your waist when –

Fuck.

A wave of heat - he knew it so well, yet hadn’t felt it in what seemed like forever - crashed over him, settled deep in his gut, tightening his muscles, making his cock twitch.

He shifted uncomfortably, desperately hoping you hadn’t noticed the way his pants suddenly felt about two sizes too small.

He’d usually never been one for flowery dresses and delicate gold jewellery like the earrings that decorated your ears. They clashed with the brutal reality of his world. But on you, it was devastating. You were an innocent, oblivious creature walking straight into his hardened, cynical world without even knowing it. And somehow, against all logic and years of self-preservation, he wanted to corrupt every part of you.

His gaze snapped to the flesh of your delicate thighs that left little to his imagination, those toned legs wrapped around his waist while he pulled you closer and –

Jesus fucking Christ, get a grip.

He forced himself to look away, clenching his jaw so hard he thought he’d pull a muscle.

This was his neighbour. You , who’d watered his plants, borrowed his toolbox, offered a smile whenever you met in the hallway. The one who’d agreed to this incredibly stupid idea. You were doing him a favour, for God’s sake.

“Ready?” He shoved the word out harsher than he’d intended, the sound completely alien to even his own ears. But before you could answer, he shut his door and ushered you towards the exit. He needed air. He’d preferred an ice bath, preferably yesterday.

You didn’t mind adapting to roles and play pretend at all, but as soon as you arrived at the estate, your confidence got humbled. The house was huge, and the driveway alone was already filled with floral arrangements and all sorts of birthday wishes – an enormous ninety made out of entirely blush pink roses and lavender decorated the front yard.

The garden party was in full swing already when you two arrived. The air buzzed with the sound of laughter and chatter, clinking glasses and the distant beat of a live band. John seemed oddly out of place in between the flowers and the brightly dressed guests, like a lone wolf who had been dragged to a tea party.

But as soon as you stepped further into the event, the warm air surrounding you, the scent of freshly cut grass and citrus, the smiling faces all around you, your anxiety about the whole thing lessened. 

“Don’t worry too much," John's arm brushed against yours as you navigated through the clusters of guests. He reached out to grab two drinks from a passing waiter’s tray. “The worst they could do is show you my childhood photos.”

He offered you a drink, and you took it from him, smiling. “Somehow, that’s not as reassuring as you think it is.” You earned yourself a deep chuckle that rumbled through his chest and did decidedly inappropriate things to your equilibrium.

When John took your free hand into his like it was the most normal thing in the world, you felt like this was going to be the easiest task. For a fleeting moment, it was easy to forget you were living a lie.

Until dinner.

The seating arrangements were strategically orchestrated, it seemed, to maximize family bonding - or torture, you hadn’t decided which. You found yourself sitting between John, radiating a mix of polite restraint and his usual natural intensity that set your pulse racing, and a woman with the same kind eyes as him.

“This is my mother, Eleanor,” John had introduced her earlier, her smile so warm and welcoming you’d almost forgotten you were supposed to be playing a role. She seemed almost too impressed when you'd introduced yourself, as if she couldn't quite believe he was telling the truth about having a girlfriend. 

You'd prove them wrong, not for their sake, but for your own growing satisfaction at seeing John surprised.

You were no stranger to the barrage of questions about your single status and lack of a partner from your own family, so you knew how tiresome it could get. You braced yourself for a similar interrogation.

Across the table, John's grandma beamed at you with a delight that melted your heart. You understood then what this was all about for him — fulfilling his grandmother's wish to see him happy, settled.

On impulse, you reached out to grab John’s hand beside yours, your fingers threading through his, offering him a reassuring smile, pretending to bring out your best I-am-so-in-love look you could muster. 

He seemed taken aback, his entire body stiffening for a split second as if your touch were an electric shock. But then he recovered quickly, his fingers tightening around yours with a gentle pressure that sent goosebumps dancing up your arm. He raised your hand to his lips, brushing a kiss against your knuckles that lingered a heartbeat too long.

Your breath caught in your throat, your gaze fixated on the curve of his lips, the way his beard scraped against your skin. Your stomach did a somersault, your senses flooded with a rush of longing that was as unexpected as it was undeniably thrilling.

“So,” John's aunt leaned across the table, her voice a bit too loud, as if intended to break the spell you’d fallen under. “What do you do?”

You blinked, momentarily disoriented, your gaze reluctantly leaving John’s hand and focusing on the plate of food a server had just placed before you. Shepherd's pie. But not just any shepherd’s pie. This looked like a culinary masterpiece compared to the frozen meals you were used to eating all the time.

“I work in healthcare,” you answered, your mouth already watering at the sight of the culinary heaven before you. “I’m an ER nurse.”

“Oh, wow,” his grandma chirped from across the table, her eyes twinkling with genuine interest. Her comment, however, was quickly drowned out by his aunt's next, slightly more probing, question.

“I'm amazed you two met with such busy schedules. To be fair,” she added with a sly smile directed at John, “I'm shocked Jonathan managed to find someone at all with his occupation .”

Your fork, laden with a generous portion of creamy mashed potatoes and perfectly seasoned mince, froze halfway to your mouth. Your earlier questions about the nature of John’s job came rushing back. What exactly did he do? You knew he was often away for extended periods, you even kept his plants from dying a slow death from time to time, but his reasons had always been vague. “Business trips,” he’d called them, with a shrug and that infuriatingly handsome smile.

“Right,” you managed, forcing a light laugh as you carefully set your fork back down, your appetite momentarily forgotten. “We make it work. We talk a lot on the phone."

“You do?” His mother, ever the perceptive one, turned to John, her brows raised in what you could only describe as disbelief. “How come you always tell us you can’t contact us?”

John cleared his throat and his hand reached for his beer, his fingers wrapping around the cold glass. “Kate makes some exceptions,” he explained, his gaze fixed on the drink.

Kate? Your mind scrambled for context, your internal “John’s-Life” file coming up short. “Kate” let him make exceptions? Who was Kate, and more importantly, what kind of job required someone to ask permission to make personal phone calls? And why did you feel jealous - you had absolutely no business to feel this way. 

“Who’s Kate?” You asked, reaching for your champagne flute, unable to hide the accusatory edge creeping into your voice.

“My boss . Sort of.” The golden liquid got caught halfway in your throat. First name basis with his boss? His family knew his boss? So many questions came up, and you were slowly starting to panic. You were supposed to be a believable girlfriend, but you were scared the mask was slipping away by the second. 

“Oh, right, Kate. Sorry, darling. You know how my weeks have been lately. It's a wonder I can remember my own name half the time.”

“She must be happy for you, too,” his mother commented, delicately spearing a piece of fish with a precision that made you suspect years of etiquette training lay beneath her impeccably polite facade. “Finding someone special, I mean. Might even spare her some of your, shall we say, moods .” She glanced at John, her eyebrows arched as if she was sharing a private joke with the entire table, except you.

Moods? You’d always found John to be quiet, reserved, perhaps a tad intimidating at times, but never moody. 

You glanced at John, who was pointedly studying his plate, the faintest hint of a flush creeping up his neck. You wouldn't have thought the man capable of embarrassment. It made him seem unexpectedly human, and somehow even more attractive.

You were about to ask for clarification when Nan seized the conversational reins. “So, darlings,” she asked, her gaze moving back and forth between you and John, her smile widening expectantly, “How long have you two known each other?”

“I think six months?” you blurted out, the words tumbling from your lips.

At the exact same moment, John declared, “Almost a year now,” his voice deep and steady, completely contradicting your rushed estimation.

You froze. The silence that descended upon the table was deafening. 

“Has it already been that long?” you exclaimed quickly, forcing a bright smile and injecting as much wonder and mock surprise into your voice as you could muster. You prayed that your sudden rush of amnesia would be enough to distract them from the giant, elephant-sized hole you’d just blown in your story. You reached over to slightly squeeze his hand. “I suppose time flies when you’re in love.”

You snuck a peek at John, expecting to see panic, maybe even annoyance, but what you found in his gaze made your heart skip a beat. He was watching you intensely. And that smile playing at the corner of his lips? It made something dangerous and delicious twist low in your belly.

“I believe that,” John’s grandma chimed in, her voice warm with the wisdom of nine decades lived. “You two are very lovely together.”

Eleanor nodded in agreement. “She’s good for you, Jonathan. Maybe having someone special to come home to will make those long missions away a little easier.”

"Speaking of which, how’s that new posting treating you, lad? Heard it’s a bit of a hot zone, eh?” John's uncle boomed across the table.

“It has its challenges,” John replied, taking a long sip of his beer as if to fortify himself for the inevitable round of inquiries. “But it’s good to be back in the field.”

You frowned. Field? Posting? What kind of job involved working in a “field”? And what exactly made it a “hot zone?” You felt more and more confused by the conversation, it was as if they spoke an entirely different language, a language riddled with code words and shared experiences you weren’t privy to.

“That I believe,” his uncle answered, also reaching for his beer as if to toast to a shared understanding. “Bet your rank will get you far, though.”

You felt John tense beside you, his hand tightening around yours, not letting go. His family's casual acceptance of his frequent — and apparently lengthy — disappearances made you increasingly curious. You knew by now he often travelled for work, but something about the way they spoke, the underlying thread of concern laced with pride, hinted at a world you were only just starting to glimpse.

“I imagine those long stretches apart must be difficult, darling,” John's aunt commented, her gaze fixed on you with a sympathy that only deepened your bewilderment. “But I’m sure you’re used to it by now, working in a hospital and all. Those long shifts must be a challenge, too.”

You smiled, still confused about what was going on—but you also saw an opportunity. It was time to take control of the narrative, to steer this conversation into a territory you could navigate — even if it meant bending the truth further than it had already been twisted.

“Speaking of long stretches,” you interjected, shooting John a look that was equal parts challenge and playful invitation. You’d gone from wanting to bolt to wanting to play this game, see how far you could push him, how convincingly you could both lie. “Remember that road trip we took last fall? The one where we got hopelessly lost in the Scottish Highlands and ended up sleeping in the car?”

As you spoke, you noticed that everyone else at the table had dived into their food, the initial round of introductions and polite inquiries fading into a comfortable murmur of conversation. Nan beamed at you both, her fork hovering over a generous slice of shepherd’s pie, her eyes twinkling with the quiet pleasure of seeing her grandson ��� even a pretend version of him – happy.

Beside you, John stiffened, his gaze meeting yours with a mix of surprise and what you could only interpret as wary amusement. “Ah, yes,” he murmured, his voice low and rich, like velvet draped over steel. “Scotland. Beautiful, isn’t it, love?”

“Beautiful?” you countered, tilting your head and letting out a soft laugh that you were fairly certain sounded far more genuine than it should have. You couldn’t help but admire his quick thinking, the way he effortlessly picked up on your cue and played along. “Those winding Highland roads. They were more treacherous than romantic, if I’m being honest. I was certain you were going to drive us straight off a cliff at least a dozen times.”

His smile widened, revealing a flash of teeth that made something deep inside you melt a little. “I assure you, love, my driving is impeccable. You were simply distracted.” His gaze lingered on your face for a beat too long.

A delicious warmth flooded your cheeks. “Distracted? I seem to recall you being the one with wandering eyes," you countered, your voice dropping to a low murmur as you met his gaze head-on. You weren’t sure if the heightened awareness you felt buzzing between you was a product of the lies you were weaving or something more.

“That’s because you are quite the sight to behold, love,” he said, his voice husky, the words brushing against your senses like a caress.

You stared at him, your mind scrambling to process his words, their unexpected sincerity throwing you off balance. Had he just complemented you?

“You are—” He paused, his gaze sweeping over you, lingering on your chest. He didn’t even try to hide it. You held your breath, waiting, as the air thrummed with a sudden, unexpected intimacy.

“Breathtaking.”

What was he doing? you thought, your heart pounding. Was he still playing the part, or was there something more simmering beneath the surface? And why did the possibility excite you?

The air thickened, the sound of his family’s conversation fading into the background as the world seemed to shrink, the space between you charged with an energy that was impossible to ignore. You weren't sure if you wanted to laugh or lean across the table and kiss him senseless.

Just as you felt yourself leaning into that dangerous impulse, Eleanor cleared her throat delicately.

You both startled, like students caught whispering in the back of the classroom. John's cheeks, you noticed with a mixture of amusement and satisfaction, were flushed a faint shade of pink. Even a man like John wasn't immune to a mother's watchful gaze.

“Those rolls are delicious, dear,” Eleanor commented, and turned to you, her tone light but her eyes sharp with amusement. “Why don't you have one?” 

You reached for a roll, suddenly starving, the earlier tension dissolving into a relieved chuckle as you caught John's eyes. He winked at you, a playful glint in his blue eyes. You winked back, feeling a warmth spread through you caused by the man sitting beside you, a man who, despite your best efforts to resist, was quickly becoming more than just a convenient prop in this game of play pretend.

You'd managed to escape the clutches of the dinner table without completely blowing your cover, even when, at some points, you weren’t so sure how nobody saw right through you. But then came the real challenge — mingling. The party had moved inside the house, and you were separated from John. 

You silently cursed yourself for agreeing to this whole fabricated scenario. What if you told completely different stories to his relatives? What if someone asked you about his work, for God’s sake?

Glasses of port in hand, John’s extended family seemed very determined to catch up on months’ worth of news in one evening. You did your best to smile politely at every occasion, your inner monologue continuously reminding you to simply not say anything stupid.

Suddenly, a very chipper and well-dressed woman intruded on your personal space, waving her phone in front of your face. “You must be John’s girl!” she exclaimed, and before you could even answer, she swiped through numerous photos. “Look at her – isn't she adorable!”

You leaned in, attempting to make eye contact with the child in the photos while subtly taking a step back, her perfume a bit overwhelming. “Absolutely adorable,” you agreed, putting on a wide grin, and the woman beamed. “Oh, I can’t wait to see what children you and John will bring into this world. Aren’t they the greatest thing?”

Children? Your smile faltered. You opened your mouth to respond, to stammer out some vague response about “one step at a time”, but before you could even get a word out, the woman had moved on, already excitedly showing off her offspring to the next unsuspecting relative. 

Note to self: Avoid eye contact with anyone holding a baby photo, you thought, your internal panic rising. This whole “fake girlfriend” thing was rapidly becoming a high-stakes obstacle course, and you weren’t sure you were agile enough to navigate it without falling flat on your face.

You were trying to reach John, a plate of sticky toffee pudding on your plate, wanting to show off that you were going to try his favorite dessert – when a booming voice cut through the chatter, catching your attention. “There he is!” A tall, older man with curly hair approached John and shook his hand with a force that could crush granite. “That last mission you pulled off? Absolute textbook. A captain leading his own task force? The old man would be bloody proud.”

John’s posture stiffened ever so slightly. “Cheers, uncle,” he responded, raising his glass, his gaze darting towards you for the briefest of moments.

Mission? Captain? Task force?

The people around you, completely oblivious to your internal meltdown, continued chatting, casually dropping words like “deployment,” “classified,” “weapons,” and all other sorts of military jargon as if they were discussing the weather.

Suddenly, everything fell into place.

All those late-night departures, when you heard heavy footsteps echo through your shared hallway; the vague explanations about “work trips” when you met him outside your apartment; those calls he received at odd hours, his voice tight, his tone clipped, echoing through your shared walls; those calls that always seemed to coincide with a breaking news report or some global crisis. John, your sweet, infuriatingly attractive, seemingly normal neighbor – was leading a deadly task force.

Not that it was any of your business what he did. He owed you nothing.

Then why did this feel like such a blow? That he didn’t tell you beforehand, throwing you into the midst of his family who were clearly all about that life, and leaving you in the dark, making a complete idiot of yourself?

You had been looking forward to trying the famous dessert all evening, but suddenly, your appetite completely vanished. The plate that you held suddenly felt as appealing as cold porridge.

“Everything alright, love?” John approached, noticing the shift in your mood.

You forced a smile, hoping it was convincing. “Peachy,” you replied. “Just, fascinating, hearing everyone’s stories.” You stabbed the pudding with your spoon, not sure where the feelings of anger came from.

You shoved the plate into his chest, forcing him to take it from you. “I just need some air.” You turned and made your way towards his Nan’s beautiful rose garden.

He’d lied to you.

Well, maybe not lied, exactly. Maybe it was the sudden awareness of the danger that shadowed his every move, who he really was, who he was compared to you.

You had every right to feel foolish, to even agree to such a stupid idea. But betrayal? You had no idea where it came from, it seemed like an overreach for a situation that had been, from the beginning, just a constructed lie.

Stepping out into the cool of the garden, you breathed a sigh of relief. The scent of flowers seemed to calm your racing mind a little, a welcome contrast to all the voices you just escaped. You found your way to a small bench underneath an old oak tree, sinking onto the cool wood, straightening your dress doing so.

You didn’t hear John approach, but then again, stealth was probably part of his many talents. You didn’t know whether to be impressed or terrified.

“Enjoying the party?” he asked, stopping right next to you, an arm leaning on the backrest of the bench.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair, frustrated by all these emotions you were feeling. “Well, the food is excellent, your grandma is adorable, and I haven’t witnessed any international incidents first-hand - yet. So that’s a win, I guess?”

He chuckled, the sound low and warm, a welcome contrast to the tension that had been knotting your stomach ever since you’d pieced together the things about his life. You’d grown accustomed to that sound, to the way it rumbled deep in his chest, unexpectedly gentle for a man who, apparently, spent his days navigating a world far removed from yours.

He shifted slightly, settling beside you on the bench. You felt the heat radiating off him in the cool air of the evening, an awareness that lingered even though he wasn’t touching you.

“Look,” he began, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt, a gesture that was strangely endearing on a man who usually was so confident. “My life –” He gestured vaguely towards the party, the house. The unspoken explanation – “ my life is a full-blown, military-grade soap opera ” – hung in the air between you.

“You know,” you interrupted him, turning to face him. “A little heads-up about what you do would have been nice. Especially that it’s such an important thing in your family.”

“I’m sorry. You’re right. It wasn’t fair to throw you into that without a warning. I guess because it’s so normal to me, I just completely forgot about it.”

“I’m a nurse, I don’t really specialize in disarming bombs or whatever it is your uncles like to do for fun.”

He laughed then, a full, hearty laugh, that made your heart flutter faster in your chest.

“It’s not funny.” You said, looking away. “And I know I have absolutely no right to feel – ” you struggled to find the right word. 

“To feel –?” he prompted, leaning a little closer.

“Disappointed,” you breathed. “It’s silly, I just felt like I was left out of inside jokes during dinner. I tried so hard to not let this lie slip, but it could have been so much easier if I had known.” You took a deep breath. “So, while I was keeping your plants alive," you added, unable to keep the bitterness out of your voice, "You were out there doing what exactly? Neutralizing threats? Saving the world? I missed that chapter in the ‘Good Neighbor Handbook.’”

You couldn’t help the edge that crept into your voice. At first, it had just been a fun little game, a chance to play dress-up and enjoy delicious food. But now, now it felt different. You were, suddenly, uncomfortably aware of just how much you didn’t know about the man sitting beside you. 

The silence stretched between you, punctuated only by the gentle chirping of crickets and the soft rustling of leaves overhead. John stared at you, his eyes searching yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine.

“You probably think I am a complete idiot,” you continued, the words tumbling out in a rush, a jumble of emotions you couldn’t quite decipher. “I'm sorry, I'm being absolutely dramatic –”

The words died on your lips as his hands shot out, cupping your face, his thumbs brushing your cheeks with a touch that was both possessive and unexpectedly tender. His gaze held yours captive, those blue eyes burning with a fierce intensity that stole your breath away. And then, without a word, without warning, his mouth crashed down on yours.

His lips were hard, demanding, hungry, devouring yours as if he couldn’t get close enough, his tongue tangling with yours in a desperate, unyielding dance. 

It was primal, raw, untamed. It was the kind of kiss that stripped away the pretence, obliterated the boundaries, and left you gasping for air, your mind reeling, your body aching for something you couldn’t name but craved with every fibre of your being.

Time seemed to stand still — the garden, the party, the lie — it all faded away. There was only the feel of his lips on yours, the light scrape of his beard against your skin. The taste of him was intoxicating, the heat of his body radiating off him in waves.

Eventually, he pulled back, his breath mingling with yours in the night air. His hands lingered, resting on your face, slightly tracing the lines of your jawline. His gaze was wild, eyes dark and burning into you with an intensity that made you want to melt into a puddle.

You stared back, your mind racing. This was the moment the lines blurred. There had been something there — you felt it. It was more than pretend, more than just playing a game. Desire. Interest. Even though you felt like you no longer knew this man at all, you wanted to get to know him all over again. Taste him, touch him — you blinked, trying to collect your thoughts.

“Would you prefer to leave?” John's hand, still warm from its possessive grip on your face, gently brushed a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture both intimate and oddly reassuring.

You shook your head. “It’s your grandma's birthday. You can’t just leave because I feel uncomfortable.”

“I think we’ve both had enough of the party for one night,” he murmured, a quick smile flashing across his face. “I’m going to let her know you aren’t feeling too well. Alright?”

He leaned in again, his lips brushing against your cheek, then, with a low rumble, he whispered in your ear, “Wait here.”

In front of both your apartment doors, the silence was an awkwardly long stretch. It felt like you were both trying to understand what had just happened, unsure where to begin.

“So, um,” he started, then stopped, running a hand through his hair, a nervous gesture that you found strangely endearing. “Thank you for coming.”

You nodded and smiled, “Of course. It was nice to get the dust off this dress again.”

He leaned towards you slowly, and your breath hitched. For one heart-stopping moment, you thought he might kiss you again – would he? Was what happened in the garden just an impulsive decision?

But he hesitated, the moment frozen, and there was something indecisive happening between you. But you didn’t mean to push, neither did he.

He cleared his throat and finally spoke. “Good night,” he said, his words careful, as if he were holding back from saying something else.

“Good night,” you echoed, your voice barely a whisper. The small hope that you'd taste him one more time evaporated.

You turned, your hand reaching for your door, keys almost to the lock, when strong hands grabbed you, spinning you around in a dizzying motion. Before you could even register what was happening, his lips were on yours again — silencing all those unspoken doubts and hesitations.

This was real. You felt it; your heart screamed it; the way his mouth was devouring yours, displaying a hunger and desire that shouted it from the rooftops.

Your hands tangled in his hair, holding on for dear life, as his tongue traced the seam of your lips with a possessiveness that made your knees weak. You felt the rumble of his groan against your mouth as he backed you against your apartment door, his body moulding against yours as if he was starving for the feel of you. You were breathless, lost in the heat of his touch, the way his hands roamed your back and finally settled on the curve of your ass.

You realized then that you had always dreamed of kissing this man, silently, secretly, whenever his eyes lingered on yours for a beat too long right there in the hallway. You’d always dismissed those fantasies as wishful thinking, but clearly, he’d been wanting the same.

You heard a click as the lock on your door was turned, and you felt as his hand fumbled with the doorknob behind your back – all while his lips were still on yours, occasionally wandering to kiss your jaw and giving you an opportunity to breathe. He cursed under his breath, and before you even processed what was happening, he shouldered the door open and pushed both of you back into the darkness of your apartment.

The familiar space of your home was suddenly transformed, and John's touch was the compass guiding you. He didn't release you, keeping you close to his body as if you might slip away. With a smooth movement, he shoved the door shut, tossing your keys somewhere onto the floor.

His hands gripped your thighs, lifting you up flush against him, the gasp that escaped your lips quickly swallowed by his next kiss. He carried you, your legs wrapped around his waist, until he reached your couch, where he gently laid you down, his body hovering over yours, his eyes devouring you, making you feel incredibly vulnerable.

The sofa dipped as he planted his knees left and right next to your legs, and he leaned to hover over you. You were both breathing hard, the only sound in the silent room. The only light illuminating you was the sliver of moonlight spilling through the window above.

“Is this still pretend?” you managed to whisper, your voice a shaky breath.

His eyes locked onto yours, the slight smirk on his face sending a thrill to your core. His hands moved to your hips, deliberately grinding them against his groin. You gasped as you felt the hardness of his arousal pressed against you, hyperaware of the thin fabric separating your most intimate parts.

“Fuck, no,” he growled, his voice a low rumble that vibrated through you. He moved his hips again, his hands slowly but intentionally pushing up your dress.

Your skin felt like it was on fire; your head was spinning. 

One of his hands moved up to the line of your dress, and with a rumble in his throat, he pulled the fabric aside, exposing the swell of your breasts to his hungry gaze.

His pupils dilated, his eyes dark and intense, as he stared at you like a starving man presented with a banquet. You'd never been so incredibly turned on, no man had ever made you feel this way— John’s simple gesture of delicately tracing the skin around your nipples made you moan so loudly you immediately threw a hand over your mouth, slightly embarrassed.

“No, let me hear it all. You sing so beautifully, sweetheart,” he murmured, his hand gently moving yours away, his touch a mixture of possessiveness and unexpected tenderness.

"John,” you breathed, your voice a shaky sigh.

“This bloody dress,” he groaned. “Wanted to rip it off you the second I saw you standing at my door.” His voice was raw, unfiltered – gone was the nice, gentle neighbor; this was the Captain coming through, the darker, more commanding side of him that should have scared you, but only served to intensify the desire swirling inside you. You wanted to know all about the man he left behind as soon as he stepped into this building.

“Every fuckin' time I saw you in the hallway, those quick hellos were never enough,” he confessed, one hand tightening on your hip, the other slowly trailing down your skin beneath the hem of your dress. His touch was agonizingly slow, leaving a trail of heat in its wake that made you lose your mind. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

His words were so honest, it caught you off guard completely. It must have shown on your face right then, because he smiled in return. “Never thought I’d stand a chance," he admitted. "You always seemed out of reach.”

You frowned. “Out of reach?”

He let out a short, humorless laugh. “Figured I’d never stand a chance against the queue of blokes lining up at your door.”

“John, what? A queue, for me?” You laughed, your disbelief genuine, gesturing towards yourself.

He sighed, sitting up, his fingers playing with the lace trim of your panties as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “You’re beautiful, and tonight, I learned it’s inside and out. You're you, and that's fuckin’ wonderful."

You shook your head in disbelief. His words made your entire body tremble.  He wasn’t just looking at your body; he was seeing you. And it felt extraordinary.

He watched you intently, his eyes filled with a longing that mirrored your own. “I kept thinking about what you were hiding underneath those baggy clothes,” he confessed, his voice a husky whisper, his fingers slowly sliding your panties down your legs. He felt you shy away from him a little, a smirk on his face stole your breath, as he pushed your legs apart with his calloused hands. “Like I said, so beautiful.” He whispered, his voice so rough with what you could only describe as lust. It made you shiver.

“You know,” you whispered, “The funny thing is, I thought exactly the same.”

“What do you mean?” You watched as he slowly ran a hand along your thighs. A ragged breath escaped your lungs, and you struggled to continue speaking.

“You’re incredible – there’s no way you didn’t have someone to –”

“To what?” he asked, suddenly stopping his movements, his gaze intense. “Willing to take a chance on a bloke who doesn’t know a thing about flowers or romantic dinners? Who spends more time on planes than in his own flat? Whose idea of a good time involves dodging bullets and disarming explosives?” He let out a self-deprecating laugh, shaking his head.

He was being so completely honest with you, so vulnerable, it sent a sharp pang through your chest. He was seeing you – the real you, hidden beneath the baggy clothes and carefully constructed walls – and for the first time that night, you were truly seeing him . John, who looked like he could bench-press a small car, who radiated an aura of danger as naturally as he breathed. 

He wasn’t some playboy who brought women home every other night, like you’d assumed. He could have any woman he wanted – and yet, here he was, his gaze tracing every inch of your naked body.

He liked you. He’d thought about you.

It felt surreal.

“Best decision I’ve made in a long time,” he murmured, leaning closer. “Asking you, I mean. Thinking I could never have you, and now –”

You held your breath, anticipation coiling in your stomach. “Now what?” you whispered.

“You’re mine.” He growled, and before your brain could even process what happened, his mouth was on your clit, kissing and sucking like he finally got to taste that delicious meal he was promised. 

“Oh god–!” you moaned, your hands instinctively gripping his hair, your nails digging into his scalp. He moaned, and the vibration of it against your skin made your legs twitch uncontrollably.

John’s touch was relentless, his tongue swirling against your most sensitive flesh, sending waves of pleasure crashing through you that were unlike anything you'd ever experienced before. You arched against him, your hips bucking involuntarily, craving more of the delicious friction that was driving you to the edge of madness.

He seemed to sense your desperation, the way your body was begging for something more. He pulled back, his gaze meeting yours, his eyes dark with a possessiveness that both thrilled and terrified you. His hand replaced his tongue, fingers gently caressing your sensitive clit. “Look at you,” he murmured. “So fuckin’ hot.”

“John,” you breathed, you were speaking without any control over it.

“What do you need, love?” he asked, his voice thick with lust, his hand never ceasing its tormenting, exquisite torture against your aching core.

“I – I need –” You couldn't form the words. Your mind was blank, and your body was trembling with need that eclipsed all rational thought.

He seemed to understand, his gaze softening, a knowing smile curving his lips. He rose slightly, his hands moving towards the belt buckle, groaning as he released himself from the confines of his trousers.

He stepped out of his pants, the sound of fabric hitting the floor echoing in the sudden silence. His shirt followed shortly after, and you were captivated. His body was hard, sculpted muscle, his arousal straining against the fabric of his boxers, proof of the desire you'd awakened within him.

You watched, mesmerized, as he slowly peeled off his boxers, his gaze never leaving yours. His hand reached down, fisting himself, and your breath hitched at the sight.

“Still think you’re not attractive to me, love? Look what you’re doing to me,” he let his thumb slowly run over the head of his length, spreading the drop of pre-come that formed there, and he must have known it was teasing you, driving you mad. “Tell me what you want,” he commanded.

You opened your mouth to speak, to voice the desire that was burning through you with the force of a supernova, but the words caught in your throat. All you could manage was a whimper as your fingers were digging into the cushions, hips arching upwards, instinctively seeking out friction you craved.

You felt like if you couldn't have him, you might die.

“Uh-uh.” His hand reached forward to grab the soft flesh of your tits, one after the other, and his thumb brushed a teasing circle around your nipples, the pressure increasing just enough to make you gasp. "I said, tell me what you want.”

“You,” you confessed, the words torn from your very soul. “For God's sake, I fucking need you.”

John's gaze intensified, his eyes dark, and the corner of his mouth twitched, a predatory smirk playing on his lips. He loomed over you like a predator about to claim his prey. With a growl, he leaned down, pressing his mouth on yours, and you could feel his erection pressing between your folds.

One of his hands shot out, cupping the back of your neck, his fingers threading through your hair, holding you captive. 

“You’re going to get everything you need, love,” he breathed, and followed by his promise, he entered you in a deliberately slow movement, almost torturous. He moaned, so raw and primal, it made you clench around him, and your entire body ignited as he filled you completely. His size, his heat, the intensity of the sensation – it sent your senses into overdrive, causing you to dig your nails into his back.

“Ohhh fuck,” you moaned, your voice a breathless whisper, lost in a world of sensation he'd created with his touch.

He paused, holding himself perfectly still within you, savoring the feel of your body clenching around him and the soft moans escaping your lips.

You whimpered, arching your hips up instinctively, desperate for more, aching for him to erase every thought, every doubt, every worry, with the overwhelming pleasure that throbbed between you.

He chuckled, a low, dark sound that sent shivers down your spine, and then he moved. Slowly at first, deliberately drawing out the sensation, his hips rocking against yours, each thrust a slow, agonizingly delicious torture that had you clinging to him, your fingers digging into his shoulders, your nails leaving trails of fire on his skin.

“Fuck,” he groaned, his voice tight with need as he buried himself deeper. “You're so fucking tight – so fucking wet.”

But even in the haze of pleasure, a primal instinct took over. He needed more. He rolled you both over, shifting his weight so that you were straddling his lap, your legs draped over his thighs, your core aligned perfectly with his arousal. He kept his eyes locked on yours as he reached for the hem of your dress, his fingers working quickly, impatiently, to free you from the loosely hanging fabric.

“Now,” his hands found your hips, guiding you closer, his thumbs stroking the sensitive flesh. “Ride me, love.”

You looked down at him, at the raw, unfiltered hunger in his eyes, the way his chest heaved with each ragged breath, and a surge of confidence, of pure, unadulterated lust, washed over you. You began to move, supporting your weight against him by running your hands through the light fur that dusted his chest. 

His hands dug deeper into your skin as you increased the pace, moving faster, harder, riding his cock wildly, completely lost in the pleasure.

Every movement sent jolts of pleasure through you. He watched you, his gaze never leaving your face, his chest rising and falling with each ragged breath as if he were hanging onto your every move.

“Fuck, yes,” he growled, his voice thick with approval. “Like that, love. Ride me hard.”

His words were a primal command, a challenge that sent a thrill through you, making you even bolder, even more daring. You leaned forward and kissed him, biting his lip, drawing a groan from him that resonated deep in your core.

He tasted of salt and desire, the scent of his arousal filling your senses, making you wild. His hands were guiding your movements, matching your intensity, pushing you both closer to that sweet edge of release.

With each thrust, you felt the coil of pleasure tighten inside you, building towards a crescendo that threatened to shatter you both. You moved faster, harder, your body driven by an instinct as old as time itself. His touch was a brand, marking you as his, and the possessive hunger in his eyes as you rode him, almost send you over the edge alone.

He was groaning now, his words a jumble of incoherent pleas and praises, his fingers digging into your flesh as he struggled to maintain control. You felt him tense, the muscles in his thighs and arms bunching beneath your touch, and you knew the storm was about to break.

“Don’t stop,” his voice was raw with need, his gaze burning into you as if he wanted to sear this moment into his soul. “Come for me, love. Let me feel you shatter."

And with one final, earth-shattering thrust, you did.

A shudder ripped through you, a wave of pleasure so intense it stole your breath away. Your walls clenched around him, a thousand tiny sparks of sensation exploding behind your eyelids. Your name tumbled from his lips, a breathless groan, as he held you tighter. You cried out, the sound swallowed by his eager mouth as he captured your lips in a desperate kiss, his tongue tangling with yours as wave after wave of pure bliss crashed over you, leaving you trembling, weak, utterly undone.

After you came down from your high, you watched him intently as he was also struggling on the edge of release. Driven by need and desire, you slowly let his cock slip out of you. He made a sound that sounded animalistic, a groan, low and deep in his chest, an expression of frustration. Your hand moved instantly, your fingers finding his length, circling him, stroking him with a deliberate, unhurried rhythm. Your fingertips traced a feather-light path up the underside of his shaft, lingering at the sensitive ridge just below the head before gliding back down to the base, your thumb brushing teasingly against the swollen vein that pulsed with his arousal.

His head fell back against the cushions, his eyes closed, a ragged breath escaping his lips as you continued to tease him, your touch the only cure for his aching need. You watched him, mesmerized by the play of muscle beneath your hand, the raw power he embodied even at that moment of vulnerability.

“I can't –” His fingers dug into the cushions, his body tensing as if fighting against the tide of pleasure that threatened to overwhelm him.

You smiled. The power thrumming between you was intoxicating, addictive. “Can’t what, John?” you whispered, leaning in, your lips trailing a teasing path along the hard planes of his stomach. “Can’t hold back anymore?”

His answer was a strangled groan. His body went rigid, and the wave of pleasure that followed was written all over his face. His hand shot out, not to stop you, but to grip your wrist. His fingers tightened around it, his control started slipping, shattering, as his release washed over him.

You whispered small praises, and watched, fascinated, as his release spurted over your hand in hot, pulsing bursts. His hips were stuttering, his cock, hard, thick in your grasp, throbbed, and the remnants of his release felt warm against your skin. He was completely at your mercy.

You’d never felt this bold, this empowered, this reckless. Before you could overthink it, you raised your hand to your mouth and licked his come off of your fingers.

Your wish to taste him, it couldn’t get any more him than this. Salt, sweat, and something so uniquely his. It made your walls clench around nothing, sending a new wave of excitement through you.

John’s gaze snapped to yours, his eyes wide, a flicker of something dark and possessive flaring in their depths as he watched you, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Fuck,” he groaned, and reached out, his hand resting on your neck, his thumb slowly stroking along your pulse. “You’re something else, you know that, love?”

A nervous giggle escaped your lips. The sudden awareness of your actions, the intimacy of the moment, sent a wave of shyness washing over you. “I, uh,” you trailed off, averting your gaze, unable to meet the intensity burning in his eyes. Your cheeks burned, and you wanted to hide.

John’s hand shifted, his fingers tracing the curve of your jawline. He tilted your chin up, forcing you to meet his gaze.

“Don't shy away from me now, sweetheart,” he murmured and softly ran his thumbs over your lips. “Not after that.”

“That was –” You struggled to find the words, your thoughts were a mess. “I've never –”

“Never?” He leaned closer, his breath warm against your cheek, the scent of him filling your senses, making you dizzy.

“Never been that bold,” you admitted, your gaze dropping to his lips, their fullness suddenly a source of endless fascination. “Or wanted someone so intensely.”

A dark smile spread across his face, his eyes gleaming with triumph and something that sent a delicious thrill through you. “Good,” he growled, the word a low rumble that vibrated through you. “Because you're mine now, love. And I'm not about to let you forget it.”

And then, before you could protest – not that you had any intention of doing so – his lips crashed down on yours. It wasn’t gentle. This kiss was a possession, a claiming, a wildfire consuming everything in its path. His hand shot out to grab your neck, holding you close to him.

This really wasn't pretend anymore.

[leonw4nter]

.☘︎ ܁˖ How Do I Love Thee?

─ ♡ Husband!DI!Leon x F!Reader

⋆˚࿔ summary - your daughter doesn't quite understand the concept of actual names and pet names. luckily, leon's there to help.

⋆˚࿔ word count - 1.1k words

There came a point in your daughter’s life where she realized that just like her, you and her father had names– and so did everyone else’s parents apparently. It just occurred to her as well that she didn’t just come into this world named as that– you and your husband had to agree on a name to give to her; she wondered, “why do my parents use another name more than the name my teachers and friends use at school?”. After much thinking and snack-fueled theorizing, she has come to the conclusion that she has two names– just like an agent does.

“Mom,” she begins in that sweet squeaky voice of hers. “Do you have two names too? Or just one?”

She stares up at you, a tiny hand grabbing onto your pant leg.

“I only have one,” you respond. “Why?”

Grinning proudly, she takes her hand off of your pants and places them confidently on her hips.

“What? You have two names too, sweetpea and love– and I have two too!”

You chuckle, bending down to meet her at eye-level.

“Yeah? What are your names? And what’s my two names?”

“Mine is Willow and honey, yours are sweetpea and sweetheart! Willow is my school name and honey is my real name.”

“And how is ‘honey’ your real name?”

“Because you and daddy call me that always!”

You stay silent, quietly processing the fact that you and Leon both have a part in this innocent confusion; you do adoringly call her honey more than her actual name sometimes– no, all the time. Well, at home anyway.

You gently stroke her hair, placing a lock behind her ear and smoothing it down to stay in place.

“Honey,” you say. “There’s plain names like ‘Willow’ and then there’s names like ‘honey’, ‘sweetheart’, and ‘love’. Those names are called ‘pet names’. You use that for people that are really precious to you.”

She tilts her head to the side, eyes narrowing with her mouth slightly agape. She definitely doesn’t get it, you think to yourself. You’ve barely managed to brainstorm a way to explain this in terms easy for a 5 year-old to understand when you hear the front door unlock, followed by footsteps.

“Daddy!” Willow exclaims, running to greet her dad.

“Hi honey,” he says in his baby voice before he bends down to pick her up and lift her. “How’s my princess doin’?”

The little princess turns her head around abruptly to stare at you, wrapping her tiny arms around Leon’s neck.

“See?” she loudly points out. “I have two names, daddy said it just now!”

“Whaa–?” Leon says, looking at her before staring at you with a curious look. “Sweetpea, what’s going on?”

Willow’s face lights up even more, smiling widely as Leon unintentionally proves her point further.

“Mommy, you have two names! I promise, you do!”

Willow’s squiggling around in his arms now, indicating that she wants to get down and have some of the cake that Leon brought on the way home.

After serving her a portion on a Disney princess plate, Leon brings up the topic again.

“What was that about?” he asks in a hushed voice as he loosens his tie, an amused grin present on his face.

“Oh that earlier? She’s confused about names, thinks she has two of them: Willow and ‘honey’. I mean, we do call her ‘honey’ a lot of the time so I kind of get her confusion.”

He chuckles, entertained by the conundrum his little princess is in.

“Let the pro handle this,” he whispers to you after he places a kiss on your cheek.

He confidently strides over to the kitchen, ready to try his hand at trying to simplify things for everyone.

“Everyone has two names, huh.”

Twin sapphire eyes look up at him, temporarily sidelined from her mission of eliminating the chocolate dessert in front of her.

“Mhm.”

“What’s mine then?”

“Hm…” she hums in thought, tapping an index finger to her chin. “Mom calls you ‘darling’ and uh… I know auntie Hunnigan calls you ‘Leon’.”

She seems to find an oddity in his names; normally they come in a cutesy and endearing pair, how come his comes with this random name ‘Leon’?

Leon chuckles, taking a paper towel to dab at the chocolate smudged at the corner of her lips.

“Okay, Willow. My real and actual name is Leon, you’re right on that. And mommy has her own too,” he starts off. Your daughter listens intently and it’s like you can see the pieces clicking into place inside her mind.

“People use sweet and adoring things like ‘sweetheart’, ‘sweetpea’, ‘darling’, and ‘honey’ and so much more when they’re talking to someone they love a lot. Using real names is okay but these sweet terms– ‘pet names’– are a good way to let them know that you love them a lot.”

The night ends in clarity and smiles on everyone’s faces; it’s definitely going to take time for Willow to fully grasp this concept but she’s doing her best to comprehend it to the best of her ability. You sit in bed, a battered copy of The Five People You Meet in Heaven in hand, whilst Leon walks around as he gets ready for bed. Your gaze parts with the book in your hand to look up at your husband for a moment, an absent-minded smile on his lips.

“You haven’t stopped smiling since earlier.” Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I mean– that’s just way too adorable for an average human to handle, right?”

“Mhm,” you agree. “Just look at the way she looks at us, there’s so much love in her eyes! She looks up to us like we’re these totally perfect and awesome beings!”

Gushing over your daughter is one of his favorite things to do, second to none in his list of favorites. Once it’s indulging in your shared cuteness aggression and unending adoration for Willow, he’ll drop anything. He flops into bed, landing in front of you with a thud and a faint groan.

“I know right!” He beams. “Like damn, what good deed did I do in my past life to be this rich in this one?”

You spend the next 2 hours giggling and talking about Willow– how big she’s grown, her growing appetite for veggies, and her school performance.

“She could probably ask the sun to be out for a little longer and it’d listen,” Leon wondered with a proud smile on his lips. “We’re so lucky to be her parents,” he wistfully mumbles.

a/n - as you can see, i changed the format of the fic to switch things up on my account :) how do we like it? tbh, i think i can do better but rn i'm experimenting on what tickles my fancy and looks cute. i'm also considering on renovating my blog theme n whatnot but i'm not rlly decided yet tho it's a real possibility. i was js about to fix up my account fr after this fic is posted but man am i sleepy asf (it's currently 3:05 AM where i'm at) that's it and thanks for reading my fics guys!!! love u lotss

[drdemonprince]

how might someone who’s middle class learn to survive on less? I feel like growing up middle class & being able to land a good job after college has killed my survival instincts. Makes it really hard to prioritize things like not working because I don’t know how I would survive without health insurance. There’s probably plenty of things I’ve wasted money I could’ve gotten for free but didn’t know it was possible and had means to pay so I just did it? I feel like I need to learn how to survive better so I can help others & be able to have work that is more flexible with my mental illness & disability. I should have the means but it’s like even on a better salary than many I still spend too much

Honestlyyyy read Mr Money Mustache. Ignore his own overly optimistic tech pro economic politics, and just dive into his whole stoic way of living to give you a sense of how far it can go, then tailor to what you can manage. Like, you don't have to replace your gym membership with a set of free weights in the back yard that you use even in 10 degree weather, like he does, but you could maybe start doing free weight exercises in your living room instead! or switch to a local park district gym or ymca! You can replace all your cleaning supplies with vinegar & dish soap and be pretty well set. A lot of MMM's advice is about not allowing lifestyle inflation creep to unconsciously happen to you simply because every middle class person around you is spending ridiculously and consuming a lot of things wastefully.

A lot of the big money-hemorragers are things you are probably aware of like car payments, cell phone payments, monthly membership services, food delivery, and so on. Eliminate that shit as much as possible. Nobody imo should be leasing a car or a phone, it is a complete scam. There is NO reason to pay for ANY media of any kind really if you're in need of tightening your budget significantly. F movies, Z Library, SteamUnlocked, Archive dot org, Libgen, Sci Hub, etc etc etc.

The Poverty Finance and LeanFire subreddits are great, the piracy subreddit is too. Start with things you won't even miss, or that have really easy workarounds, and then build your way up. use libraries. join some buy nothing groups in your area. go thrifting. it's easier than ever to get access to free/cheap used stuff, and find people who know how to make things or DIY various processes and services on their own. I grew up with the assumption that nothing should or could be paid for, and so my default approach the second I need something new is to try and figure out how I can weasle my way out of paying for it -- though I did take this way too far for a long time and am now practicing how to actually spend money on things like household items or doctor's appointments. So the pendulum can swing too far, to the point where it's just costing you more in the long run anyway.

good luck!

[icearts]

Nobody is talking about how Angeal and Sephiroth are exact opposites in EC and it's making me unwell so I'm gonna dump it.

Have some pictures of their 2D renders for fun

Prepare yourself, this rant is a little long (but don't worry there's visual aids)

There's more obvious tells out there, like their body language and overall postures, Angeal is generally more open and Sephiroth is generally more guarded.

However, notably, this carries into how they hold their weapons throughout all of their appearances, even in Crisis Core

Fair warning, my source is multiple Google articles so prepare for some inaccuracy and uncertainty. Feel free to correct me.

Sephiroth carries his sword in an ox guard, which has the purpose of intimidating your opponent while also having the sword protect your vital organs.

Angeal's sword is held in a plow guard, which operates a bit like a fool's guard (I actually thought it was one at first), making yourself look more open to attacks to Provoke an enemy into coming in. Unlike the fools guard, the plow guard gives you a quicker maneuverability to strike first once the opponent comes in.

This is really important for their fighting styles, as Sephiroth is quick and deadly, meanwhile Angeal (i think the game refers to his character type as a Provoke Tank) always stands somewhat in front of Seohiroth and tries to draw in hits, acting as a shield. They have the sword and shield dynamic

BUT ITS ALSO RELEVANT TO THEIR PERSONALITIES you see Sephiroth acts cold and bitter, trying to keep people at arm's length, especially raw after EC Part 1 where he and his past friends had a Not Great Time (I won't give the recap sorry it'll take too long and I'm laser focused rn). Anyways, Sephiroth, much like his stance, tries to intimidate people into staying back. He will not let himself look vulnerable to attacks.

Meanwhile, Angeal is more open and friendly, taking Sephiroth's briskness and impoliteness in stride. He's open and welcoming even when Sephiroth's defense is his offense.

They're also both well trained with swords, so they can probably infer a lot about each other's personalities through how they hold their blade. Angeal seeing Sephiroth as someone who is guarded and closed off, avoiding getting hurt by being the first to lash out. Sephiroth views Angeal as being too open and vulnerable, and may even have a presumption that, like his fool's guard, Angeal is baiting Sephiroth into getting close enough that he can attack him the second he's open. It's good shit.

Next up: the weird purple-vignetted dreams they get in EC

So there's some spooky shenanigans going on in this story. I have my own predictions as to what's going on, but for future's sake, at the time of writing this is am only 2 chapters in. I'll try to be more direct to context and then provide my future game predictions at the end. Cool? Cool.

So we know based on canon that Sephiroth's dream isn't a memory, or an event or anything like that. So by process of elimination, Angeal's is the same way. Plus

Little confirmation here that Angeal always felt unable to care for his parents, which hurts me so bad btw. Anyways, analysis time.

Sephiroth fantasizes about being cared for and reassured. He wants to know what it's like for someone to love him unconditionally, he cannot even imagine the possibility. This dream shows him exactly that, his mother making him food and telling him she's always been there for him and they've always has this. In the dream, he believes it although is confused by conflicting memories. She's momentarily able to convince him that he is cared for and loved by her. In reality, he's never met his mother (her name isn't Jenova either, but that's a story for another day).

Angeal fantasizes about being to care for others. He wants to help his village, create a strong community, care for his parents and make it so they do not have to work so hard. He wants everyone to feel safe, secure, and rested and he is willing to carry all of the work on his shoulders to the best of his ability. His dream shows him doing exactly that, which based on the falsehood of Sephiroth's dream, means it's a false memory and he never was able to care for his parents for whatever reason. Really hopeful the game will tell us soon. Maybe he did try but it wasn't enough. Maybe he was weak because they didn't have enough food. Who knows.

Also, for context, Tetsuya Nomura (FF7 director) did confirm that Angeal's father has a chronic illness and died shortly after Angeal joined SOLDIER, after having worked himself to death. So Angeal dreaming of these memories of helping his dad to support his grateful but guilty mother is likely very much influenced by a sense of grief or guilt.

Then in the next chapter, these dreams happen again.

The Banorans obviously either did not make this promise or did not act on it, seeing the state Angeal's family is in in Crisis Core, his dad having worked himself to death when he was a young recruit and his mother being in a very grief-stricken and detached state.

So this plays into how they view the world. Sephiroth longs for someone to protect him from the world he's observed to be cruel and cold. He mentions this in dialogue talking about how they world views anything different as a monster. Even SOLDIERs to which Angeal promises himself that he'll help Sephiroth see that people are not all like that.

Sephiroth is jaded and distant to protect himself, as he thinks the world will turn on him in a moment's notice. Angeal, however, holds an optimistic worldview. He believes people want to help each other and everyone wants to help each other to the best of their ability.

So they're very much opposites, but they're also exactly what each other needs. Angeal needs to feel needed and helpful, protecting people who trust and depend on him. He is friends with every SOLDIER, able to recognize them at a first glance (ironically he does not do this for Alissa but I may wait to share my theories about her). Sephiroth is guarded but secretly longs to be cared for. See where I'm going with this?

So based on how these dreams are going, they're definitely being influenced by some kind of force or another. Personally I think it's Jenova itself, as Jenova has the power to do this and to transform things into projections of loved ones in order to garner their trust (much like Kadaj does in The Kids are Alright). My prediction for where the climax of this story is gonna go is that Angeal is going to have to protect Sephiroth from these visions, and Sephiroth learns that unconditional love can come from friendship and camaraderie, not just maternity. It's gonna be great. I have entire scenes mapped out in my head about this.

They're a sword and shield, Sephiroth being quick to strike and Angeal always being there to defend. It's one of my favorite dynamics ever. Their appearances also contrast, most notably in their hair color.

They both have a resigned acceptance about the implausibility of their fantasies. Sephiroth does not have a mother to care for him, and Angeal cannot save everyone. The foil of their dynamic is so magnetic it hurts. I will scream if I see Angeal make pumpkin soup for Sephiroth in the future.

My rants getting distracted so I'll cut it off here. Merry Crisis

[dwaekkicidal]

hiii!! can i req a fic or smh in which reader is lee know's younger sister and hes lowkey protective??? (i recently saw a fancall of him rejecting the idea of introducing his "younger sister" to the other members soo.. 😭😭) and like hyunjin gains a big fat crush on reader and reader is oblivious abt it but reader actually has a crush on hyunjin also and lee know founds out abt this?? 🥲 IDK IM SO SORRY THIS IS MY FIRST EVER TIME REQUESTING SOMEONE AND ALSO I'VE BEEN DYING TO SEE THESE TYPE OF FICS BUT THERE AREN'T ANY AVAILABLE..

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ word count: 3.3k

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ warnings: fluff, brother! Lee Know, crush!Hyunjin, mutual pinning, kissy kissy, theyre in love your honor

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ notes: catching up on requests, i kinda hate the way i wrote this but i hope you like it lol ♥️

“I think I’m in love with Y/N…” 

Chan and Changbin’s eyes widen while Han chokes on his iced coffee. “...You WHAT?? Minho's sister?!?” Changbin’s hand comes down on the back of Han’s head, shutting the boy up instantly.

Hyunjin cringes at the reaction, already knowing it was a bad situation in itself. But then the bad reaction coming from the best friend of the man in question only makes him feel worse. He scowls and he can feel tears start to prickle his eyes so he hides himself as best as he can at the moment, plopping himself on the couch and shoving his head in his hands. “I’m gonna die...”

Chan chuckles and takes the seat next to Hyunjin. “Listen man. I know he seems like the devil in human form, but he loves you like you’re his brother. At most, he might be mad at you for a while but he wouldn’t actually hate you.”

Han fixes himself and nods along as if Hyunjin could see him. “He’s… super protective of her after her last relationship. But! He sees us all as his brothers so it can’t be that bad!… I think?” He whispers the last part under his breath, thinking that nobody would hear him. But they do… And Hyunjin only whines more and curls into a ball on the couch, hands still covering his face.

The rest of the morning after that the boys tried desperately to lift Hyunjin’s mood. They managed to hype him up enough to get him cheery enough to leave the dorm and head to the company, using some excuse about wanting to re-record a few lines and wanting his opinion since Changbin wouldn’t be available.

They also figured that getting Lee Know in the vicinity, to show that he wasn’t onto Hyunjin, might help with his nerves, which worked! At first. What they didn’t account for, however, was the girl who was also on her way to the building to "spend some time with her brother.”

Though, you’d never admit to them that you were really only there for somebody else.

And it didn’t take long for you to find them. They were always in the same 4 rooms so after doing a process of elimination and hearing loud screaming from down the hall, you discovered a good chunk of the group.

The entirety of Danceracha along with Chan and Han were in the dance studio, mainly flopping around to one of their songs and not actually practicing. Well, other than Hyunjin that is.

It made you smile seeing them goof around with no worries, but the second you looked a little to the left, your heart immediately skipped a beat. Hyunjin was standing near one of the mirrors, sweat dripping down his neck and eyes focused purely on the motions of the instructor.

You recognized the choreo, it was one you had seen a week or so ago from the last time you visited. But something about seeing Hyunjin so focused on his craft and smiling when he got the moves right made you melt into a puddle.

Just thinking about him was enough to make your heart beat faster, but you were also just the tiniest bit insanely in love with him. So seeing him in person for the first time in what felt like decades made you feel things that words couldn’t explain.

You were cut from your thoughts by a hooded figure- your brother, joining the instructor in helping Hyunjin. Then came Han’s booming voice. He screamed out your name super dramatically as he motioned for you to come over to where he, Felix, and Chan lay across each other on the floor.

You tore your eyes from Hyunjin and looked at them, giggling and shushing him as you headed over to them. You made it over to them without causing any distractions to the others- or, at least you thought you did. Hyunjin was distracted the second he heard your name, though he didn’t realize that it was because you were in the room.

And his distracted demeanor was unfortunately obvious to both the dance instructor and Minho. Though luckily neither of them realized your presence either. They both just assumed the boy was getting tired so he called for a break and Minho pulled Hyunjin to where everybody else was sitting.

It was only then that both men finally realized you were here, and Hyunjin found himself almost tripping on air when he saw the familiar shape of your body amongst the cuddle puddle. Your back was to them, so you had no idea they were even done practicing until you felt a human throw himself on your back. “HEY!! Get off me, Min!”

Minho groaned happily, getting comfortable and stretching himself over you as if he just got home after a long day of work. A big smile took over his face as he made some comment about how chairs shouldn’t wiggle around so much.

Hyunjin watched and laughed to himself before finding a seat behind his leader. Han looked back at him and smiled apologetically, knowing all too well that he was stressed out of his mind. But, in an attempt not to draw too much attention to Hyunjin, he went back to scrolling on his phone and stroking Felix’s hair as if nothing was wrong.

Chan however turned around completely, scooting over to sit right next to Hyunjin before sighing. His voice was below a whisper as he apologized, “Sorry man. I didn’t know she would be coming today.”

“It’s fine. Maybe I’ll feel better now that I’m exposed to both of them at the same time.” Chan made a face full of doubt but didn’t persist. He simply leaned back onto his hands and joined in one of the conversations.

Hyunjin looked away from him just in time to watch you kick Minho off you the rest of the way. You made an ugly face at him and stuck your tongue out before looking behind you as if you were looking for somebody. He followed your eyes to the mirror, that same spot he was just practicing with the instructor.

He felt his heart panged a little and he found himself frowning at the thought that you might’ve started to fancy their dance instructor. Maybe Minho-hyung would want her to date him instead…? He is pretty attractive...

He rolled his neck and took a deep breath, shooing those thoughts away before looking back over at you. He watched your shoulders drop as you didn’t find whoever you were looking for, then you turned around and your eyes met his. Both of you made a surprised face for a moment before you laughed. “Pfft-”

You mouthed a ‘Hi’ at him and waved with a smile sweet enough to give him a cavity. He melted in his spot and waved back, watching in silence as you stared at him for a moment before turning to the blonde boy currently pawing at your leg for a second of attention.

He continued to stare at you for a while longer with a small smile on his lips. The time flew out the window and he completely forgot his other members were even there. He even forgot where he was at as he lost himself in daydreams about a future with you.

It wasn’t until the sun had started to set that he zoned back in. And it was really only thanks to the loud groans of the boys getting up and stretching. It left you, Hyunjin, and Chan on the floor as the others bid farewell and Minho told you to text him when you got home.

You agreed and sent him a thumbs up before moving to sit next to the other boys with your back against the wall. By the time you sat down, Chan was already on his feet, stretching and feigning exhaustion. “I’m gonna head home. Have fun you two.” He didn’t leave any room for questions as he sent a wink to Hyunjin and speed walked out of the room.

Silence fell between the two of you for some minutes until you attempted to break the silence. “And then there were two…” Hyunjin giggles and nods, turning his body to sit facing you and leaning his head against the wall. The two of you continued to stay quiet for some time after that, mostly scrolling through your phones and occasionally showing each other a post you found funny.

Though, it wasn't necessarily an awkward silence, it was a very comfortable silence that you would argue that you could sit in for hours on end without being bothered by it. You don’t know this, but Hyunjin would also agree.

Although he was a little too caught up in his thoughts to think about it. The confidence from the pep talk the boys gave him earlier that morning was still running through his veins, and he almost had half a mind to confess to you right then and there.

Then, all of a sudden an idea comes to mind and he blurts out a question, not giving himself time to overthink it.

“Do you-”

“So-”

You both speak at the same exact time, cutting each other off. Wide eyes are shared between the two of you before you burst into giggles and motion for him to continue. He tries insisting that you go first, but you close the imaginary zipper on your lips and throw the key towards the mirrors.

He chuckles and shakes his head, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I… Do you want to go on a walk with me? To the shore nearby? I know it’s getting dark, but I just thought it would be nice and- and the weather is still good so-”

You laugh at his rambling and he cuts himself off, brain malfunctioning as his mind gets bombarded with images of your smile. He finds himself subconsciously smiling and in that moment he realizes just how in deep he really is. It’s not until you nod and make a quiet noise of agreement that he’s snapped out of his trance.

He jumps to his feet and holds out a hand for you, helping you to stand before jogging over to the seats and gathering his belongings. A smile takes over your face as he rushes back to your side and leads you out the door with a hand ghosting your lower back almost protectively.

Hyunjin continues to lead the way up the seawall as he tells you about his most recent paintings and walks shoulder to shoulder with you, his hand occasionally brushing against yours.

He walks a little farther before you notice a heightened concrete platform. It has stairs that lead up to it and you can already tell it has a pretty view so you point towards it. He glances at it before looking back over at you.

“Should we sit here for a bit? I wanted to talk to you about something.” You smile and nod, taking the lead and walking towards the stairs. He follows you up them and watches as you head to the railing that separates you from the sea.

The air was comfortable around the time you guys had started wandering around earlier, thanks to the hot summer air finally cooling down. But now it was starting to become a biting cold. No thanks to the freezing, metal railing that you were leaning on.

You shiver a singular time and run one of your hands up and down your arm as you look over the sea. It was barely noticeable, but he noticed immediately and became a little worried.

And, how do you expect him not to notice? He’s constantly entranced by your everything and worries about you every single day. He just can’t help himself from just staring at you during rare moments like this. Rare moments when it’s just the two of you, enjoying each other's company.

Hyunjin realizes that he is staring when you shiver again and he licks his lips nervously. He stretches, silently pulling his hoodie over his head as he moves forward, gathering the fabric and presenting the neck hole to you.

You furrow your eyebrows and tilt your head at him with a confused expression, but he insists and moves forward again. This time taking a big step and standing less than a foot away from you so he could put the sweater on you himself.

He gently places it over your head and helps it down around your neck. You pop your hands through the sleeves and grab the fabric by his hands, assuming that he would have let it go already. But he hadn’t. Instead, he sits there with pink cheeks and his lips caught between his teeth as he pulls it the rest of the way down your torso for you.

The action makes your heart flutter and your knees almost buckle at the way he's looking at you, eyes shiny and full of something you have only dreamed of seeing. You heart beats out of your chest as he stays close, not even trying to back away from you.

“A bit cliché, don’t you think?” You smile teasingly and, despite your comment, you slither your hands past the pocket and melt into the warm, soft fabric. It smells just like him, obviously, and you can’t help but take a deep breath. Your body physically relaxes at the scent and he notices immediately.

He bites his lip in an attempt to hide a smile and he chuckles under his breath. “Yeah, maybe a little.” Silence falls between the two of you again and you find yourself staring at him for the millionth time this night. He stares back, lost in your pretty lips. He really wishes he could kiss you right now.

He visibly gulps and tears his eyes away from your lips to look you in the eye “Y/N…” His breath quickens and you hum, signaling to him that you’re listening despite the lack of thoughts going on behind your eyes.

In the corner of your eye, you watch his fingers twitch. They hesitantly move forward, between your bodies, and grab your buried hands out of the pocket of the sweater. He sees your breath hitch and you glance down at your connected hands before looking back up at him.

“Listen, I…” He looks behind you towards the water momentarily and takes a deep breath before angling his neck to look at you again. “I know this might be inappropriate, but I really like you. I've had feelings for you for a while, but I was scared that you and Minho would hate me.” His hands are shaking as he talks and you stare up at him in shock.

Hyunjin’s eyes search yours as you blink repeatedly, a cute little habit that you picked up from your brother. It could almost make him laugh if he wasn’t so fucking afraid right now. But he waits rather patiently, thumbs running over the back of your hand as he tries his best to calm himself down. Your lips part after a few seconds and he holds his breath.

“You… like me?” Your eyebrows furrow and his heart drops. His eyes widen and he pulls his hands away from you as apologies start to pour out of his lips. “I’m sorry if I crossed a line, I just had to say something before I exploded. I’m really sorry, Y/N. I’ll leave you alone if I made you uncomfortable-”

“Wait no, Hyunjin! I- I’m sorry that came out wrong.” You laugh nervously and grab his hands, already missing the warmth. “I like you too. I really, really like you… I talk about you all the time to my friends, I’m sure they’re sick of seeing your name in their text messages.”

You both laugh and he seems to loosen up again. He waits a few minutes, letting your words hang in the air as his nerves calm down. Then he tries pushing it a step further.

His hands are warm as his fingers intertwine with yours and he smiles to himself when you reciprocate the action. “Your brother will kill me, but I’m willing to get cooked alive for you. Will you let me be your boyfriend?”

You smile widely and nod, “I won’t let him do that to you.” He huffs out a laugh and his eyes quickly flick to your lips again. “Can… Can I kiss you?”

Your eyes widen and your cheeks somehow burn even more, but you nod enthusiastically. He lets go of your left hand in favor of settling his hand against your cheek and rubbing the skin there with his thumb. You close your eyes and nuzzle into it, making him smile to himself as he leans forward.

Then, he finally closes the distance between you. You swear you can hear the fireworks exploding around you and you melt against his soft lips. The kiss is short lived though, as he doesn’t want to push a boundary and scare you away already.

You make a noise of disagreement when he pulls back and you wrap your arms around his neck, squeezing him back into you as you whine. He smiles and doesn’t make you wait much longer before he pushes his lips against yours again, this time moving his now-free hand to rest on your waist and pull you into him.

You feel the hand on your cheek slide to the back of your neck, holding you there as he tilts his head and deepens the kiss. His tongue slides over your bottom lip and you are in the process of parting your lips when a voice startles you both out of your skin.

“Hwang Hyunjin.”

Hyunjin flinches and you feel him frown against your lips at the sound of his surname as well as the stranger interrupting his important business. It was the dead of night so anybody around was seen as a threat so he went on high alert, backing away and preparing to hide you behind him.

But as soon as his lips leave yours, he realizes he knows that voice all too well. The two of you separate and look over to the stairs like deer caught in headlights. “H-Hyung??”

“Min-” Minho glances over to you for a moment, silencing you. He’s scowling but loosens up when he sees the genuine fear in both of your faces. He sighs loudly and crosses his arms around his chest as he stretches his neck. It’s only then that you notice Jeongin behind him, staring quietly with wide eyes and his jaw on the floor.

“I checked your location to see if you got home safe and freaked out when I saw you were near the sea at fucking half past 10.” You curse to yourself, forgetting that the two of you shared locations for safety reasons once you moved to the city and then again when you realized that he said it was already almost 11 o’clock.

“I thought something bad happened to you.” Minho nervously bites the inside of his cheek as his eyes dart between the both of you, then he sighs loudly and looks to the side, suddenly becoming flustered. An almost awkward silence fills the air around the four of you.

Eventually, Jeongin finally fixes his jaw just in time for Minho to turn to him and nod his head towards the car. You hear a faint ‘Let’s go’ before Minho takes the first step down the stairs to follow Jeongin. You and Hyunjin glance at each other in confusion and you open your mouth to call out to your brother, but before you can he looks back at Hyunjin with fire in his eyes.

“Break her heart and you won’t get the mercy of the air fryer. I’ll kill you with my bare hands.” Then he looks at you. “And, please for the love of God, get her home before midnight or I’ll kill both of you.”

Taglist:

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @bubblerizz

@mariteez

[blushweddinggowns]

Eddie threw an arm over Steve's shoulder, bringing him into a half-hug, “So, what did you guys think?”

“It was great!” Steve said quickly, relaxing into Eddie’s side, “You guys killed it, dude!”

“He’s right,” Robin agreed, “It was awesome! Super, duper fun and we’re so glad we got to see it. But actually, we kinda got to go-”

Eddie frowned, the loose grip he had over Steve’s shoulder tightening on it’s own accord, “Go where? Don’t tell me you guys are tired already?”

For some reason, Robin didn’t look at him after he asked the question. Instead she looked to Steve, a brow raised as she waited for something. But then Steve was giving her a subtle nod, her queue to start talking again. She leaned in closer, whispering as loud as she could in the noisy environment, “So… you’re like cool, right? Steve said you were cool.”

Eddie cocked his head at her, beyond confused, “I-yes? I guess?”

“About the thing?” She pressed, jerking her head his direction, “Steve’s thing?”

“Oh!” Eddie blurted, finally catching on. But he still didn’t get what Steve being gay had to do with them ditching. He nodded quickly, “Very cool with it. Have zero issues.”

It was almost true. Whatever issues Eddie had with Steve’s sexuality involved his own bullshit more than anything else. Plus, his answer had Robin smiling. Gesturing for Eddie to lean in closer, “Good. Because we, um. Share the affliction if you catch my drift.”

“That’s fine,” Eddie said, not missing a beat. He had kind of figured that out along the way. Considering the process of elimination on who could have possibly talked Steve through his queer thoughts. Not that Eddie cared, “No problem here.”

“Good!” She said with a grin, “Then you know just how limited our options are where we live. And according to an insanely pretty girl, there is an honest to god gay bar, like a few blocks away!”

Eddie swallowed, discomfort suddenly settling in at the suggestion, “T-That’s where you guys are going?”

“Yeah!” She said excitedly, setting her sights back onto Steve, “It’s time for someone to realize that we are hot enough to flirt and be flirted with! Closets don’t matter when you’re hours away from home.”

“We share the exact same closet,” Steve groaned, “Don’t start preaching to me.”

“And tonight we can escape from it!” Robin argued, “Come on! Eddie’s going to be busy with his friends and groupies anyway. What else are we doing-”

“I’m actually not that busy,” Eddie interrupted, trying his damndest to keep his voice calm. Suddenly, he felt nauseous again. He didn’t-He knew Steve could handle himself. He did. B-But creeps were everywhere! And he wasn’t used to being around guys who only wanted one thing and Robin would be distracted with girls a-and Eddie was really struggling with this idea.

Though Steve seemed to disagree. The next thing he knew, Steve was smiling back at her. Letting out a good-natured sigh, “Fine, fine! We can go. Someone has to make sure you don’t get kidnapped.”

“Oh my god, yes!” Robin nearly squealed, bouncing a little in her seat, “This is gonna be so fun!”

Eddie’s heart squeezed uncomfortably in his his chest at the excitement, dread starting to fill him. He opened his mouth, words escaping before he could even think of it, “Sounds like you two might need a D.D. I can do it.”

It was probably the first time Eddie had ever invited himself to something he clearly wasn’t a part of. But he had to give himself some credit for how smoothly it came out. 

Robin looked up at him, clearly surprised, “Really? It’s not exactly your scene.”

Eddie shrugged, “It could be. I like George Michael.”

Steve snorted next to him, “That is the one true gay litmus test. You got us there.”

“Seriously though,” Eddie pressed, refusing to let it go, “Then you can both drink, dance, have fun. And not worry about how you’re getting back to the hotel.”

“But don’t you want to stay here?” Steve asked, “Robin wasn’t kidding about the groupies. You should have heard what some of them were saying.”

“You could definitely get laid,” Robin added. She was staring at him now, looking at Eddie in a way that seemed a little past confused. Like she was examining him. Testing him. Or maybe that was just in his head. 

Eddie held firm, “Maybe, but I’d rather hang out with you two vs playing wingman to the boys. What do you say?”

“If you really don’t mind…” Steve said, trailing off. But Eddie could tell that he was happy. He could barely keep his smile to himself as he looked to the side, biting his lip in a way that Eddie fucking knew other people would notice. How could they not? 

from the next chapter of this fic

[sulkingheichou012]

Into the Dungeon with You

Pairing: Jinwoo x Reader

Genre: RomCom, Action, Future Smut

Warning: Description of violence and profanity.

Summary: Jinwoo frowned as a new system notification appeared before him.

[Special Reward Successfully Claimed.]

Author's note: I'm happy that some of you are enjoying my silly work! Yes, if you're asking to be tagged—sure! 😊

Chapter 3

The moment they stepped inside the double dungeon, Y/N knew they had messed up.

Because inside?

It was a monster party.

And not the fun kind with drinks and music—no, this was the Welcome to Hell, Prepare to Die kind.

The room was massive, its walls lined with eerie glowing runes. Dozens of high-tier monsters lurked in the shadows, their eyes gleaming with murderous intent. Hulking armored beasts, grotesque abominations with too many limbs, and even some terrifying flying creatures that looked straight out of her worst nightmares.

"Uh, Jinwoo?" Y/N whispered, inching closer to him.

Jinwoo didn’t respond. He was already in battle mode. His expression turned serious, and in an instant, he moved.

And Y/N… lost her mind.

Because what the—watching Sung Jinwoo fight in real life was something else.

The way he dodged! Smooth. Effortless. Like a damn ghost slipping through attacks.

The way his muscles flexed! Perfect 10. Chef’s kiss. God took his time sculpting this man.

Y/N was in awe. "Oh my god," she whispered to herself, her eyes sparkling. "He’s so hot."

Meanwhile, Jinwoo was actually struggling.

These monsters weren’t your average dungeon mobs. They were fast and relentless, attacking from all directions. Even with his agility, he was taking a few hits. His health was dropping fast.

If he didn’t focus, he was going to die.

And yet, behind him, all he could hear was—

"OMG. OMG. OMG. THAT WAS SO COOL."

Jinwoo barely dodged a massive claw swipe. "Y/N. Shut up."

But Y/N was gone. She had entered full fangirl mode.

Then it happened.

The moment that broke her.

Jinwoo lifted his hand and summoned Igris.

Y/N screamed.

"OH MY GOD, IT’S IGRIS!"

Jinwoo flinched. "What the hell—"

"LOOK AT HIM! LOOK AT MY BOY!" Y/N practically vibrated in place, her hands clutched to her chest like she was witnessing the birth of a deity. "Igris! My favorite! My beloved! You’re even cooler in real life!"

Igris, ever the silent and loyal knight, simply nodded before leaping into battle.

Jinwoo had no time to process whatever the hell Y/N was going through because he needed more backup. So, without hesitation—

He summoned Beru.

And that’s when Y/N completely lost it.

Her breath hitched. Her eyes widened. Her whole body froze.

And then—

"BABYYYYYYYYY!!"

Jinwoo almost dropped his dagger.

Beru turned his massive, intimidating, insectoid head toward Y/N, clicking his mandibles. "Kieeehh?"

"LOOK AT HIM! SO CUTE!" Y/N was now jumping in place, hands on her cheeks. "Beru! My little scrunkly! My scary, murdery, precious bug son!"

Beru tilted his head. "...Master. Shall I eliminate the noisy female?"

"NO!" Y/N wailed. "Beru, sweetie, don’t listen to him! I love you just the way you are!"

Jinwoo, who was literally fighting for his life, turned to glare at her. "Y/N, CAN YOU FREAKING FOCUS?!"

"I AM focusing! Focusing on how CUTE Beru is!" Y/N clasped her hands together, eyes twinkling. "Beru, can I hug you?"

Jinwoo and Beru both froze.

Beru blinked his glowing blue eyes. "...Master?"

"No." Jinwoo deadpanned.

"Just a little hug—"

"NO."

Before Y/N could protest, a massive monster lunged straight for her.

Jinwoo’s eyes widened. "Y/N, MOVE—"

But before he could react, Beru did.

With a terrifying screech, the giant ant obliterated the monster in a flash.

Y/N?

She swooned.

"HE PROTECTED ME. HE REALLY LOVES ME."

Jinwoo was done.

The battlefield was absolute chaos—just as expected from a double dungeon.

Jinwoo, despite being one of the strongest hunters in existence, was actually struggling. These monsters were not playing around. They were relentless, attacking in waves, their movements coordinated like an army.

Jinwoo narrowed his eyes. Time to stop holding back.

With a flick of his wrist—

He summoned more shadows.

One by one, his dark soldiers emerged from the ground, filling the massive chamber like an ominous black tide. Knights, assassins, behemoth-like creatures—all under his command, ready for war.

And Y/N?

She gasped so loudly she nearly choked.

Her hands clenched into fists. Her legs trembled. Her whole body shook with excitement.

And then—

"HOLY CRAP, THE EFFECT IS STUNNING!"

Jinwoo flinched mid-swing.

"THIS IS THE BEST ANIMATION I’VE EVER SEEN! 100/10! PERFECT EXECUTION! STUDIO MAAAPA, WHO?!"

The shadows remained stoic.

The monsters remained bloodthirsty.

And Jinwoo?

He sighed deeply.

Meanwhile, the actual monsters—who were supposed to be the scariest creatures in this room—had finally had enough.

They all turned their heads toward the real threat.

The screaming woman.

One particularly nasty, high-tier monster let out a guttural roar, eyes locking onto Y/N. It was massive, spiked, and clearly done with her fangirling.

It charged straight at her.

Beru instantly blocked the attack.

"Kieeeehhh!" Beru shrieked, slashing at the beast with his deadly claws.

Y/N clutched her chest. "OH MY GOD, MY BABY PROTECTING ME AGAIN! KYAAAAAAHHHH!"

Jinwoo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Y/N, can you—"

But before he could finish his sentence, another monster had decided that enough was enough.

This one was even faster. And unlike the others, it managed to slip past Beru and Igris, charging straight for Y/N from behind.

Jinwoo’s eyes widened. Shit, she’s gonna die.

Y/N turned around—

Saw death itself coming at her—

And screamed like a cockroach was flying at her face.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH—!"

Panicking, she flailed her arms wildly and swung her fist aimlessly—

And then—

BOOM.

The monster went flying across the room, slamming into the stone wall so hard that the entire dungeon shook.

Silence.

The battle paused.

Every single shadow, monster, and even Jinwoo himself just… stared.

Even Beru looked confused, tilting his giant ant head. "Kiehh?"

Y/N, still trembling from adrenaline, didn’t even realize what had just happened. She squeezed her eyes shut and yelled—

"THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME!"

Jinwoo blinked. "…Who is she talking to?"

Y/N, on the verge of tears, dramatically turned to Beru.

"My sweet baby angel, you saved me again! I knew I could count on you! I LOVE YOU!"

Beru, who was literally occupied fighting another monster, simply clicked his mandibles in confusion. "…Master?"

Jinwoo, arms still mid-swing, slowly pointed at the monster-shaped crater in the wall.

"…Y/N. You did that."

Y/N frowned. "Huh?"

"You punched that monster so hard it flew across the room."

Y/N turned back, finally taking in the scene.

She blinked.

Then looked down at her own fist.

Then back at the monster.

Then back at her fist.

Then at Jinwoo.

Then back at Beru.

Then—

"HOLY SH—"

Y/N was still processing what had just happened.

Her brain was not computing.

She. Punched. A monster. Into. A wall.

Her. A potato of a human being with zero combat experience.

"Holy crap… am I… OP?!"

Before she could fully spiral into a power fantasy, another high-tier monster—clearly not learning from its fallen comrade—decided to charge straight at her.

Jinwoo saw it immediately.

"Y/N, MOVE!"

But Y/N?

Nope.

She didn’t move.

She instead went full anime protagonist, raising her fists in the worst attempt at a fighting stance Jinwoo had ever seen.

She started shadow boxing—badly.

"Alright, you ugly beast! You want a piece of me?! COME AT ME, BRO!"

Jinwoo, mid-swing against another monster, literally stopped fighting just to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"This woman is actually going to kill me before the dungeon does."

The monster, confused but still very much murderous, lunged.

Y/N—still thinking she’s in some kind of sports anime—threw a random punch in its direction.

Jinwoo’s soul left his body.

This is it. He thought. She’s dead.

And then—

BOOM.

The monster collapsed mid-air, knocked back like it had been hit by a truck.

Jinwoo froze.

His shadows froze.

Even the other monsters stopped mid-attack, staring in horror.

Y/N?

She blinked.

She looked at her own fist.

Then at the monster, now twitching in a heap on the ground.

Then back at her fist.

Then at Jinwoo.

Then back at the monster.

Then—

Suddenly, her expression morphed into All Might’s iconic grin as she struck a heroic pose, clenching her fist.

“Mo daijoubu! Naze tte? Watashi ga kita!” (It's fine! Why? I am here!)

Jinwoo was going to have an aneurysm.

"Oh my god, you’re an idiot."

Y/N, now completely delusional, started bouncing on her feet like a boxer. "Yo, Jinwoo! Did you see that?! I’m basically a Hunter now! S-rank material, baby! Maybe even National Level—"

Jinwoo grabbed her by the collar.

"YOU. ARE. NOT. A. HUNTER."

"But—"

"SHUT UP AND STAY BEHIND ME BEFORE YOU ACTUALLY DIE!"

Meanwhile, the monsters and Jinwoo’s shadows were just standing there, awkwardly watching their master lose his mind over this chaotic gremlin of a woman.

Beru tilted his head. "Master… the female seems to have immense hidden power. Shall we train her?"

Jinwoo’s eye twitched. "Beru, I swear to God—"

But before Jinwoo could fully stress himself into an early grave, his shadows finally turned the tide of battle.

One by one, the monsters started falling.

With their full strength unleashed, Igris, Beru, and the rest of the shadow army began absolutely annihilating the enemies.

Jinwoo sighed in relief.

"Finally. We can wrap this up."

Now, the only thing left to do?

Make sure his so-called "special reward" didn’t get herself killed before she even left the dungeon.

<< Chapter 2 | Chapter 4 >>

[graceofagodswrath]

Transformers x HASO Headcannons | Part 2

Back on my Transformers kick and it’s making me depressed about the realism behind humans being helpless and tiny. I also went over this in my first set of Transformers headcannons as a reply, so this is me expanding on a lot of those points.

My main focus is that if humans were the average size of other sentient beings in the Transformers universe, we would finally be taken a little bit seriously. Cue ridiculous research into humans' actual strengths.

Transformers are coming to understand our evolutionary path. Because we’re so small, it’s easily overlooked that humans are still predators. We hunt, we kill, and we’re violent. If we don’t have someone to hate as a unified group, we turn on ourselves.

But specifically, we’re pursuit predators. Our endurance and stamina is what makes us deadly. Our main hunting strategy back in the cave and hut days was literally to just walk after an animal for days on end until it either gave up or dropped dead from exhaustion. We can go miles without tiring (when trained properly).

As long as we have water, we can last a month without food. The longest someone ever fasted was for 382 days (look up Agnus Barbieri), and that was with the bare essentials of liquids and vitamins. No solid food.

And when we do have to find our own food, anything is game. We will find a way to eat it. Whether poisonous, venomous, tough-skinned, or just a lot of teeth, we will figure out a way to make it a meal. We have the advantage of being omnivores. In a game of survival, outside of predators, we’re top dogs.

While no natural armor sucks, our hairless selves are perfectly adapted to adapting to any environment. We are hella sensitive even to the slightest changes. We can smell weather changes based on moisture in the air, taste anomalies in our food, feel the slightest brush on something on our skin, etc. Our lack of armor allows for easy flexibility most species can only dream of, especially transformers. Getting into tight spots, getting out of tight spots, and moving hella fast is our bread and butter (when motivated lol).

One thing I really find interesting is our prey/predator instinct vs transformers.

Transformers did not evolve (as far as my knowledge goes) with natural predators. They have been through horrific times, from slavery under Quintessons to their own government, but the only really natural evolutionary advantage they have is their technological adaptability. Their ease of learning alien languages is an example. As well as their main transformation ability.

TF One really highlights this (small spoilers). Their planet is shown to be a constantly changing environment, from flat surfaces to rapidly changing cliff faces. Their ability to transform between a vehicle and bipedal form is imperative to quickly adapt to such a fast-paced and even deadly environment. The only predators I can account for are scraplets and spark eaters (there are probably more, but idk them). However, their reaction to this is to pull guns and freak out. They assume their technology and "superior" processes will solve all their problems.

But their cockiness in other environments shows how nonchalant they are about these interactions, and it backfires heavily. The only real threats they see are other transformers and larger sentient species. Plus diseases, but that’s a whole other thing.

Humans on the other hand have had to contend with thousands of predator species over our evolutionary path. It’s only in the last couple hundred years or so that we’ve truly eliminated most of these threats or domesticated them. And when I say eliminate, I mean either mass hunting or learning about said predators to easily deal with them and avoid dangerous situations. Our prey instinct gives us the alertness to deal with imminent threats easier than species that don’t have such a strong experience.

That leads to the big evolutionary advantage of humans - our brains. Even though we’re considered primitive by transformer standards, that’s transformer standards. A race that has existed for ten million years through technological immortality, is also their undoing. Because they have lived for so long, breaking free of long-held traditions is near impossible for their society, which is why their war took place. Without consistent generational death and birth, they are literally stuck in the past.

Humans don’t have that issue - we change with the times because of our short mortality. While not the main influence for the size of our brains, it’s a point I wanted to add to clarify why transformers may struggle to adapt to certain environments versus humans.

Through the consistent stresses we endure because of our vulnerability, we have to consistently think outside the box to survive. To stagnate is death, forward is all we can do. Our brains have developed in such a way that we can comprehend, understand, and innovate with ease. It’s our main calling card. Hell, when there’s no stress we just do that shit for fun (shrimp literally frying rice contraptions for example).

When you combine these talents and we know what the fuck we’re doing, we’re pretty much unstoppable. As long as we’re on an even playing field. Via size. Because let’s be honest, that’s the only reason humans are looked down upon (other than being organic, but if anyone has any other ideas, let em flow).

A personal fav of mine is the idea that if we were the same size as the average transformer, we’d be cryptid level creepy. The way we move, behave, even the way we smile would be unnerving, no matter how similar we look. If anything, the similarities between the average cybertronian and human would probably freak transformers out, seeing their own features reflected in an organic. Noses, eyes, teeth, especially toes.

My personal headcannon is that Transformers would think toes are so weird. Like, what’s the point of having so many extra digits? Cue our climbing abilities and balancing in weird places. Or just closing a drawer or door with a foot. Grabbing something with the dogs. Pull a chimpanzee and let the weird looks fly.

Better yet, our pain tolerance. Sure, we’re squishy and get hurt easily thanks to the lack of armor and exposed skin. But that just builds pain tolerance. We tolerate getting picked up and thrown around by these giant asses so much because it’s what we’re already used to. We teach our children coordination, balance, their physical limits, and so much more through rough play. Its how we learn to become this versatile.

Roughhousing, doing dangerous shit just for fun, our vulnerability makes us used to the pain. It becomes easy to ignore and work through. This leads to the crazy shit about getting stabbed or shot and just walking it off. Imagine a transformer losing their shit over their human getting shot and the humans just like, “damn, feels like when I burnt my hand on the stove” or some shit. Unfazed.

And ANOTHER thing. Our instincts play a big role. That feeling you get when being watched? Or uncanny valley? I have a huge headcannon that humans would not be fooled by holomatter avatars. It would just hit us immediately. Transformers have no instinct to breathe. They probably don’t think about blinking. Their movement would probably be stiff and awkward, used to navigating spaces with more stationary bulk. Sure, they could probably program their avatars to do it, but I get a feeling that you would… get a feeling.

Plus their clothes choices make no sense half of the time (I’m looking at Rodimus, wtf was that getup in swerves arc in MTMTE?? Only Nautica and Swerve looked normal, plus Megatron - without his shoulder-padded trenchcoat).

This was a 2am rant, so if it’s unclear, I apologize. And if anyone wants to clarify or make corrections, please do! Again, I am not up to date on all comics or lore, so I’m probably missing a lot of shit. This is based on my personal feelings, knowledge, and observations.

[indecisivekatz]

DAY 2 OF KPOP DEMON HUNTER ANALYSIS!: Headcanon or Actual Theory? Here's Why Abs Saja Might Have a Complex Against Jinu + Cracked Headcanons for the Saja Boys

I'm really doing this am I? Heads up, this is going to be a bit more sillier than my last analysis- XD So please expect more Mean Girls references

Warnings for potential spoilers!! (But I'm like 90% sure this is not going to be happen, for all we know Abs Saja might only have abs on his mind). Also warning for me respectfully roasting the Saja Boys. is it really respectful if I'm still roasting these demon bois?

Okay, we should probably start with quickly introducing who Abs Saja is- Since these guys are a bit harder to differentiate these plastics from one another.

This is Abs Saja, he's got dark pink hair (not to be confused with Romance Saja who has light pink hair) and giant abs.

That's why his abs are so big, ThEy'RE fULL oF sEcReTs

Okay- you see this man, right? Right. Okay intros over- XD

Here's my theory/headcanon. I think this man HATES Jinu (aka the leader of the Saja Boys) and is very envious of his position as the lead boy of the Saja Boys. But it's not just that, I have reasons to believe he also admires Jinu. It's complicated--

Now- bear with me for this slight tangent, in the 2004 film, Mean Girls, what did Cady Heron do when she "hated" Regina George? But also still admired her power?? She became a plastic....... and also like- sabotaged her and indirectly got her hit by a bus and she stood by Regina's side.

What I'm suggesting is, what is Abs Saja (I swear to god, we need these guys' names, I can't take myself seriously as I type this XD) is similar to Cady, in that, he always follows Jinu around... shadowing him.

Notice how whenever we see Abs Saja, he's always next to Jinu!

See a few examples here:

Now this could just be chalked up to it being the Saja Boys' marketable lineup positioning (notice how Aqua Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja is also always next to Jinu)... but!

As even outside of their marketing when they're just casually plotting to destroy the HUNTR/X like any normal demonic boy band would do, there we see him, standing next to Jinu. And this time, Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja isn't!

And it's not just that

There we see him, Abs Saja. Standing next to Jinu!

It's a lot harder to see here since the lighting makes it difficult to see, but through a process of elimination, Romance Saja is on the far left, Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja (god why did I decide to call him this for a dumb bit- my fingers are getting tired- XD) is to his right, then in the middle is Mysterious Saja. Which only leaves... yep, you guessed it Jinu and Abs Saja!

"Wowee, we're gonna be walking past our rivals! Hey Jinu, do you mind if I trail just behind you? Since I'm like super fit, I can look very intimidating behind you--"

I like to think that part of why Abs Saja is always trailing Jinu, is because he's genuinely drawn to Jinu's charisma and does believe in him... and regardless if my theory about him hating Jinu is true, it's obvious that he definitely will follow whatever Jinu tells him to do....

"Go do my laundry Abs Saja!"

Okay, so what if Abs Saja is always near Jinu? Maybe he's the second in command and so he HAS to always be there next to him...

But you know what's kinda interesting that I noticed?

Okay, so we haven't seen the actual start to this song-- but, I find it, forgive me for repeating my words, interesting that we see Abs Saja in the middle...

Almost as if he's clawing at the chance to at least get some attention. Like this is an opportunity to be perceived as important for once. I know the other boys shift into the middle in future songs (Mysterious Saja seems to do this in the Awards Show Song), but it could be a deliberate decision to have this man be in the centre in what most likely is the boys' debut song.

EDIT: oh my gosh- I can’t believe I forgot to mention this but in their Soda Pop outfits, notice how the other guys are wearing longer sleeves, whilst Abs Saja and Jinu show off their arms? This very much could just be a coincidence, but I headcanoned that as them being the most open and proud about their demon heritage.

Another note, I know I've shown this image off three times already but...

Isn't it interesting how Abs Saja is leaning ONLY on Jinu. Sure, Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja is also leaning on Jinu, but he also is wrapping his arms around Romance Saja. And we don't see Abs Saja doing that for Mysterious Saja...... pfft, maybe the two secretly hate each other, and Jinu noticed Abs Saja excluding Mysterious Saja out, so he forced the two to get their sh** together and that's why the next time we presumably see them in a marketing image, he's shown to be leaning against him.

This doesn't really necessarily prove nor outright debunk the whole Abs Saja hating Jinu theory- but I definitely think it supports some parts of it.

Now like I said, a lot of what I've said could actually be chalked up to Abs Saja either being the second-in-command to Jinu or him genuinely admiring the man so much he follows him around like a puppy.

But since this story is embedded with themes of being in a KPop band, it could be fun to see representation of feeling inadequate compared to the lead face. Sure, Abs Saja wants to defeat the HUNTR/X! But perhaps there's just a small part of him that hates how much love and attention Jinu's getting from everyone. Maybe even in the demon world, Jinu's getting all the credit for this brilliant idea. But what about him? He put in just as much effort in studying BTS and learning how to "Hey batter, batter swing"- WAIT sorry, lemme go back to being serious.

He put in just as much effort to be the best fake boy band member he could possibly be! So it's not fair that Jinu's going to be the mastermind behind this entire plan!

Lol, I even made up the silly headcanon that reason Abs Saja got his abs is just so he could have something over Jinu ahahaha XD

Anywayy- I think that's about it for Abs Saja.

NOW LET'S TALK CRACK HEADCANONS

I have a dumb headcanon that Mysterious Saja has only like one eye, so that's why he covers up his upper face with both his bangs. And... well, now he literally can't see. A few people in the KPop Demon Hunters Discord server even pointed out how in this photo, he's not even looking at the camera-- Probably because the man can't see where the camera is

I have no evidence for this at all, but I like the idea that despite the guys seemingly getting along super well, it's total cat-iness behind closed doors (even in the Demon World).

I specifically love headcanoning that Abs Saja has major beef with Aqua-haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja and Romance Saja. Just utter hatred for each other. Maybe Romance Saja ate Abs Saja's last tub of ice cream and Aqua-Haired Checkered-Sweater-Wearing Saja ate from Abs Saja's cooking jar before proceeding to use all of Romance Saja's makeup. So all three of them just hate each other-

Now... we all know Jinu can play an instrument (still a bit unsure which instrument that is since I can't count the strings on the instrument he's seen with in the trailer, for me to be 100% sure), indicating that he was already musically gifted...

And assuming the other Saja Boys are just as musically gifted.... what is these guys are Demon Musical Theatre School drop outs-- 😂

"Oh yeah, our plan is to turn into a rival music band...!"

"So like this doesn't have anything to do with you guys failing the audition to Demon Theatre Camp--"

A final cracked headcanon that I have is... right now, we're unsure if the Saja Boys are related or not. And I genuinely love the implications of either one.

Either Jinu's known the other Saja Boys for a long time (maybe they're brothers, maybe they're all best friends, maybe they're exes (I swear to god, if they're brothers, this joke is gonna age so poorly)), so he really walked up to the group and said, "Hey, let's start a band--"

Or- if he didn't know them... then that implies Jinu must've held auditions or something- XD

"Calling All Attractive Demons! Do You Think You Can Sing??" p.s must be good with tigers.

Last cracked theory:

Bobby’s (The HUNTR/X’s manager…? I think) the twist villain-

Just kidding- lol xD…. Or am I?

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chaotic theories and headcanons I've wrought upon Tumblr....

I'm going to sign off now, leaving you with... whatever the heck these theories are 🤣