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alexawynters · 11 months

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Question to the trans men out there, I am in need of some advice, please!!!

(People from home I think I cleared you out but if I missed you and you see this post - no you didnt)

So this is probably weird and please don't judge me, but.. how did you always know you were a guy? How did you know, did you feel like you were trapped in the wrong body, or were there other clues?

Just asking because.. well.. just for some background, I am afab lesbian, but when I was little my daycare once asked me which Disney character I'd like to be and I apparently said "Aladdin ", and I think about that a lot.

I also think about how I always felt wrong growing up, and then I learned about lesbians and I thought "oh I'm not in the wrong body, I'm just a lesbian".

But.. I don't know? Haha. Weird. My friends say I'm way too feminine in my mannerisms to ever be a dude the few times I've jokingly brought it up. Not sure if that's just the patriarchy and toxic masculinity or if they're right and I'm just super confused lol 🙃 I will absolutely give them that I do have what are considered to be feminine mannerisms and I am absolutely very in touch with my emotions (I will cry at the drop of a hat - I'm squishy, don't yell at me).

I've always been friends with girls, I've always liked/loved girls. I know for a fact I'm attracted to women, and I'm not overly fond of men. The few male friends I have are usually trans men, or gay men, but even they are few and far between.

I love video games, I love adventurous things like horse back riding or going to the shooting range, but I also love when my girl friends want to come spill the tea, I get super giddy, like come on girrrlll, spill! He said wHAT?! The AUDACITY!

But also I hate my body. Total body dysmorphia, I cry and vomit when I have to look in the mirror too long. To be clear this is not just because I am over weight although that certainly doesn't help. My tits are DDD and I mean they're fantastic if I wanna wear a blouse (barf), but if I wanna wear a t-shirt it makes like this weird shelf I hate it.

I look at men's bodies, even those not super fit, and I'm envious. The jaw, the shoulders. The fit of the clothes, ughhh I wish my clothes fit ME like that! I've tried! Multiple exercises, I've seen masc women say get rid of your curves to help build that physique but it never seems to do the job. Everyone compliments me on my highly hourglass figure. I hate it.

I see tiktok and Tumblr posts of trans men who are almost fully transitioned, and they look so happy in themselves, so confident. They look like how *I* want to look.

Growing up, any time I tried to wear anything I felt remotely comfortable in, my mother would say I looked like a "dyker-biker" (wtf even is that insult, mom???). Which isn't inherently anything bad, but the way she said it always made me feel like I should be ashamed, so I feel like I learned to avoid wearing the clothes I actually wanted to wear.

I hate dresses and skirts. I don't care what temperature it is outside. I would rather die than wear either. Shorts, pants, or nothing.

I've sort of tried to broach the topic with friends as I mentioned, and they always say I'm too feminine, or I would have to be gay (no offense men, no thank you). Don't get me wrong our entire friend group is queer lf some sort with the exception of two token straight friends, so the topic should be safe with them if I qanted to bring it up more seriously. But the brushing it off has me terrified. They used to talk about a former friend of ours for example when we were in college and you know figuring ourselves out, who used to waffle between their identity and we all (I'm ashamed to say I went along eith it) said they were just doing it for the attention or to go with the flavor of the month.

Well.. I don't want them to think that about me. Karma is a bitch haha. Especially not my best friend. She's been my best friend for almost two decades, we've had ups and downs, we've grown, we've been through everything together. She's like my sister. I don't know what I would do if I figured this out, made some decision, and lost her because of it.

I know that's doing her and our friendship a disservice, we have grown, we aren't in hs or college anymore. She is the most caring and understanding person I've ever met, but I'm so, so scared.

That's not even to speak of my family. My mother took twenty five years to properly accept that I'm gay. She nearly crashed the car when I first came our (not my best timing tbf). My mother and I have finally made great strides in repairing our relationship, I'm not sure I want to rock the boat with even trying to figure this out.

I thought when I moved from Mississippi to Denver that I would leave everything and everyone behind and start over completely so I could figure this out. That didn't happen because life is fucking expensive and I ended up moving with some friends back home, I haven't really made any new friends and I certainly haven't let go of the old. I'm terrified to explore any of this, but I'm so tired of feeling miserable and not feeling like I'm myself. I don't know who that person is yet but I'm 34 and I want to finally finally figure that out and then be them.

So I guess I'm wondering, how do you know? How do you know who you are? And is it possible that I could just be a straight man in a woman's body? While still maintaining my mannerisms? Or maybe I'm just supposed to be a butch 'bean? But that doesn't feel right either. Idk lol pls send help haha I'm not crying while I write this or anything it's fine.

Also sorry this is all over the place.

#queer community #trans #gender fluid #gender queer #lesbians #ftm

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symphonicmetal101 · 3 years

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Babysitting in the Devildom

Chapter Six: Beel- Dinner Indifference

"Beel n-"

Solomon had to cast a teleportation spell before he could even finish his sentence. Beel's wings fluttered furiously as he burst through a portal and into Solomons arms instead. He immediatly clamped down on Solomons shoulder and started to chew. Solomon sighed as he watched his cloak get drooled on, big violet eyes watching him back as more of the cloth disappeared into his mouth.

Solomon paused. Should he take Beel to you? You seemed to know what you were doing but you also already had Asmo and portioning out food for the rest of the kids...Beel would be in the presence of food either way. He glanced back down and the chipmunk-cheeked Beel and considered trying to take the cloak out of his mouth. Buuuuut if Beel cried again it was his fault, again...but he really shouldnt be eating fabric...not that it would ruin his appetite but-

He was running out of time to make a decision as the delivery person made their way back to the door. Beel seemed content eating his cloak for now. Beel would be fine, right? Yeah- its Beel. Solomon tightened his grip just slightly on the baby as he approached the front door again, ready to take the bags.

He should have taken Beel to you.

It was like fighting Taz from Looney Toons as Solomon stumbled about, half eaten cloak and a blur of movement around him as he used small portals to keep the bag of food away from Beel.

Barbatos had walked into the kitchen with Luke, wondering if he could help somehow. You had taken Luke from him and used one hand while also sometimes directing him on how to help you while Asmo followed behind him to make sure each plate "looked pretty". Everything was going really well....until the other bag of food appeared suddenly in your free hand and you heard a demonic screech come from the hallway and a loud buzzing noise which was curiously silenced soon after, though Asmo had given you wide berth after hearing that. You sighed and asked Barb to continue portioning things and to go tell the rest of the kids that if they had to go to the bathroom, the time was now. You held Luke close to you as you ventured just outside the kitchen doors and nearly bumped into Solomon.

".....I can expl-"

"Why is Beel eating your clothes?"

You didnt really want to laugh for fear of waking Luke up, but a wide silly smile bloomed on your face as you watched Beel use both his tiny fists to stuff more of Solomons cloak into his mouth, wide eyes staring at you as he cooed a bit and continued to stuff his face, Solomons cloak almost gone.

Solomon had a combination of exasperation and amusement on his face. "Uh...well I didnt want him to cry or attack the food- o-or you so I.....I fed him my cloak."

"....wHY? Earlier you were summoning food for him- you could have done that again right- or multiplied the food we already have even if he ate the bags worth of food-"

You were still smiling, the whole situation a little ridiculous as Beel finished Solomons cloak and started to sniffle, pouting and making grabby hands to the air for more.

Solomon paused before a goofy smile spread across his face as he summoned a popsicle to give to Beel. "I. Dont. Know." He laughed a bit before smiling fondly at you. "This is why you're the one in charge." He started to walk past you into the kitchen, but not before a quick kiss was planted on your temple and a small smirk at your expression was given to you. You gave yourself a moment before joining him and Barb, and a slightly startled looking Asmo.

".....can I have a posicle before dinner too?"

Asmo looked up at Solomon, pleading who just shrugged. "Thats not up to me." He looked at you and smirked a bit. *Motherfucker*

Asmo gasped and skipped his way to you, big, pleading amber eyes as he batted his eyelashes. "May I have a posicle before dinner too please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

It was too much. From the way he asked politely, to the way he said popsicle, to his little pose and big ole eyes-

You looked around the table of happy faces as all the kids destroyed popsicles that Solomon had summoned for them, all save for Beel, Barb, Diavolo, and Lucifer untouched food in front of them.

"POPSICLES FOR DINNNNNERRRRR!"

"They said we still have to eat our food if we want to have dessert tomorrow."

"But I'm not hungry anymore..."

"....I guess I can try to eat some food but Im full from the popsicle..."

"LOOKIT IM PUTTING MY FRIES IN MY ICE CREAM! But I aint havin the green stuff, thats yucky."

"You're yucky Mammon."

"HEY-"

"My father would NEVER let me do this!! Thank you MC!!!!"

A chorus of thank yous came from all of the kids, luckily before another fight. You sighed softly and forced a small smile as you said "youre welcome". You figured they wouldnt eat their food if they had popsicles. The bigger kids had eaten their food, and Beel had no problem eating his portion and Belphies who....oh. Belphie was sleeping in his mashed potatoes. You glanced around the table again, noting all the sticky faces and hands and...bodies in Satan and Luke's case. Solomon looked exhausted as he summoned another piece of food for Beel. Asmo was trying so hard to eat some more of his food but only ate a few more bites and looked a little upset. Mammon had eaten his fries, at least.

".....if youre full, give your food to Beel. Dont make yourself eat anymore, its ok. I just need to talk to Sol for a minute, ok?" You smiled as you walked to take Belphie out of his highchair and gestured to Solomon to put Beel in. He was a little confused but did so as you wiped some of the potatoes off Belphies face.

Levi spoke up very quietly. "Can we still have dessert tomorrow if we didnt finish our food for dinner?" The sound of plates being pushed towards Beel paused as the kids all looked at you, waiting for an answer.

".....it depends on how well you eat your breakfast tomorrow.." you smiled as the kids thanked you again as you asked Barb and Lucifer to make sure Beel didnt eat the actual plates as you took Solomon and Belphie into the kitchen.

"How are you feeling...you look exhausted.." geniune concern on your face once you had Solomon basically alone. His face twisted slightly and he sighed. "I had hoped the rejuevenating spell I casted would re-energize me more than it did...why? Are you worried?~" he smirked slightly, though it fell just short of smug. You rolled your eyes a bit and ruffled is hair, your turn to smirk as his face turned light pink and started to protest, pouting when you stopped, though you werent sure if it was because you stopped or because you ruffled his hair in the first place. You stopped his protesting by asking your next question, also avoiding answering his question. "Do you have enough energy to clean all of them or am I going to bathe them in an actual bath..."

"....I? It should be we..."

"Well if you're tired you should rest...I'll need your help tomorrow too..."

"I can sleep after the baths..."

"But if we're doing the baths then I need you to cast one last spell to keep the water in the tubs..."

"So I'll sleep after that spell...maybe..."

You gave him a withering look before sighing, though appreciative of his stubborness....for once. You smiled a bit.

"Alright then. Bath time. Especially for the babies. The bigger ones can probably just shower.... Belphie, Luke and Satan need baths the most. Beel made sure his food ended up *in* his mouth....the others..." you chuckled as you peeked back into the dining room, seeing only Barbatos' face clean, and Lucifer and Asmo both fussing over the little mess they had on themselves, Lucifer using Asmos mirror, and Asmo following Lucifers every action to get clean. You brought your attention back to the sleeping Belphie in your arms.

"....do you think he'll stay asleep for bath time?"

"Its Belphie. He could sleep through anything."

"Dont jinx it." You sighed softly and looked out at the kids again, some playing tag, others just watching. Satan continued to mash his food onto the platter in front of him, Luke giggling and copying in glee. Solomon tapped your shoulder to get your attention again.

"Are you ok? The bags under ypur eyes could hold all my potions-"

"Shut up- maybe if a certain sorceror had been more careful I wouldnt be as tired....not to mention the popsicle before dinner was a bad mov-" you were interrupted by Barb lightly tapping your arm.

"Sorry to interrupt, but I was just wondering if you want me to wash the dishes or just leave them in water in the sink....or if you have a dishwasher..." you were a little surprised when you turned and saw him carrying all the dishes from the table, and Lucifer behind him with garbage. Simeon was wiping down the table with a cloth, but gave the younger ones in high chairs some room. Diavolo was trying to talk to Lucifer, who just kinda kept nodding and saying "oh thats cool" before looking at you almost desperately. His look brought you back to your senses as you nodded at Barb.

"Just in the sink with water is fine, thank you Barbatos. Thank you for cleaning up Lucifer, Simeon. It makes a huge difference to me."

Barb and Simeon beamed, and Lucifer managed a small smile before shooting Diavolo a dirty look, but the other boy didnt notice, too busy rambling on about how this was so much better than home for the upteenth time. Ypu ruffled Lucifers hair as he walked by, and noted Diavolo's slight stumble in words as he eyed you a bit, but rushed past to go talk to Barb, glancing back at you, almost pleading, though your attention was divided again as you felt Levi hug you and snuggle into your side wordlessly. You patted his head softly and turned back to Solomon.

"I'll answer that question later. For now lets clean up. Then bath time."

Levi squeezed you a bit and beamed. "I love bath time!! I can do it myself! I promise, I can! I can!"

Though Levi couldnt see it, Mammon was mocking him from behind. You gave him a bit of a "look" before the hem of your shirt was being tugged at and you were met with those same amber eyes that had persuaded you into giving everyone treats for dinner. "I love bath time too! Me too! But you have to watch me. I make great bubble hair dos! A-and guess what? In the water, it might look like I have legs, but really Im a mermaid!"

"And Im a sea dragon!!" Levi cried out, still wanting your attention. "And Asmo, you're not really a mermaid-"

"Am too!"

"Are no-"

"Everyone can be who or whatever they want to be, in the water or otherwise. Fooooor example, I'm actually a sheep, see I go baaaaa" you smiled softly, and winked at Levi before turning to Asmo again who was practically dancing at your side, bursting to ask you a question. "Whats the prettiest animal you like mc?!!!"

"....whats your favourite sea animal mc?"

"Whats the coolest animal mc! No wait- whats your favourite animal?!"

"Yeah, whats your favourite animal?!"

"Oi, I asked em first!"

"Guys its ok, you can all be my or your favourite animal. Theres more than one of each." You chuckled, listing off animals as more questions were asked, meowing at Satan as you handed Belphie to Sol and took him out of his chair, who happily meowed back as you lead your noisy little zoo to the communal bathroom.

Masterlist

#obey me #obey me shall we date #guide to babysitting in the devildom #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me levi #obey me satan #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me asmo #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me barb #obey me solomon #obey me luke #not super happy eith this but oh well

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kaelicious · 3 years

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‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ Birthday headcanons ☽༓･*˚⁺‧

pairing - chrollo x reader, hisoka x reader, illumi x reader

warnings - absolutely none! super fluffy

request - ur blog is so cuuuuuuutteeeeee im actually in love with it but if u can, can u do what hisoka, illumi, and chrollo would do for their s/o bday? (only if u want to </3)

chrollo ☽༓･*˚⁺‧

• being the extravagant man he is, he would plan something super fancy and beautiful for his s/o.

• would buy steal you some new outfits and tell you to wear one. he’s picking you up at 4:00 so you best be prepared.

• before he gives you the main surprise, he takes you to an expensive restaurant. he has bought out the entire floor for the two of you, by the way

• after all, he can’t have any distractions on his darlings birthday now can he?

• he will let you get anything you like and pay for anything you chose. he doesn’t care how expensive, only the best for his (y/n)

• previously told the workers about your birthday and asked for a special cake for the occasion. a delicious red velvet cake with vanilla frosting is coming your way

• after chatting about random things and finishing your food, he takes you to a water fountain in the middle of the city

• after he gives you a small speach about how amazing you are and how much you have changed him, he will hand you a small box, finely wrapped in ribbons

• inside is a gorgeous necklace, covered in your favourite crystal. he remembered you talking about it a couple of weeks ago, so he bought it for you

• he will smile as you tear up, telling him how ‘you didn’t have to..’

• and as he slowly reaches for your cheek, pressing his lips agaisnt yours, he is already thinking about how he can top this next year

• overall, birthdays with chrollo are days to remember. you are getting so spoilt and he is absolutely not holding back on gifts

hisoka ☽༓･*˚⁺‧

• your poor, poor house...

• hisoka is.... flashy. in many ways, he is very bright and vibrant. your birthday does not escape this

• previous to your birthday, he went out and bought everything in the birthday section of the store. you could be turning 25 and have a ‘Happy 57th!’ balloon floating in your living room

• he has bought atleast 20 bottles of silly string and he will squirt them all over you... out of love?

• he tried to make a cake.. and it didn’t look bad! it looked super tasty and was coated in sprinkles and frosting.

• you really tried, really tried, not to say anything about the taste. but it was horrible.

• oh yeah, your whole entire house is covered in happy birthday poster and balloons.

• he probably only got you a couple of gifts. his bank account was dented after raiding the party store.

• needless to say, birthdays with hisoka are a nightmare. you will have to spend a whole other day cleaning all of the glitter and decorations away.

illumi ☽༓･*˚⁺‧

• he seems stoic, like he doesn’t care, but he is actually trying to remember every time you told him you wanted something.

• he will be spoiling with all of the money he gained from killing. no questions asked.

• he will still spend money on you even if you don’t think he should. it’s your birthday after all, who is he to get you nothing?

• plus, this is nothing to him. the things you wanted bearly made a cut in his account.

• when you wake up, you will be treated eith so much care from the very moment you open your eyes.

• his face is still blank, but inside he is worrying like crazy. the possibility that you won’t like anything he’s done is plauging his mind.

• this will carry on until you open your gifts, almost tearing up as you see that he has gotten everything, and I mean everything, you wanted.

• ‘h - how did you know i wanted this?!’ your shocked voice shook him out of his daydream.

• ‘that? oh, you mentioned it once.’

• you didn’t mention it, he asked your friends about anything you had recently spoken about/wanted.

• basically, prepare to he pampered on your birthday. he has so much money so he may as well spend it on you, right?

- all content belongs to @kaelicious , di not repost anywhere.

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bunny-xoxo · 3 years

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Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: hi hi!! i just saw ur matchups event and i’m super excited... also idk if i’m doing this right 👀 but uh could i have 2 hq matchups? ☺️ i’m a cancer and most likely an infj! i am pretty loyal to people i’m close eith, but otherwise, i’m kinda quiet and closedoff with others. i’m also pretty sensitive and empathetic when i can be 😖 oh! and uhh some of my hobbies include journaling, crocheting, and hiking/walking. now, as for a s/o, i really admire determined and thoughtful people!! (part one ⛈) (part two ⛈) i also like people who are on the more quiet side, but ngl, i love people with a bunch of energy too... so i mean, i could go either way 😅 and uhh i would NOT like a partner who is too cold or insensitive... or anyone who is too immature 😳 oh, some things i didn’t mention before: i’m kinda short (barely 5’2”) and uhh yeah idk if that means anything loll 👀 anyways that’s it :D tysm!! congrats on 200!! 💕

a/n: I’m happy you’re excited!! And don’t worry you did do this right lol! Thank you and I hope you enjoy! I’m also officially adding you as ⛈ anon so this will be easier for you to track :) hello ⛈ anon okok enjoy lol

Warnings: slight timeskip spoilers!

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Sugawara Koushi

Ok so hear me out, YES he’s a Gemini and yes you’re a cancer but this is so perfect on all other levels

This mf has to be one of the most determined and thoughtful people I know

Not to mention I think he’s the perfect balance of quiet but also energetic! And he has company that match both so he’s able to match your energy any day of the week

He’s also not quiet in a boring way ya know?

He will tease you lovingly, but in private cause he doesn’t want anyone getting the wrong idea that they can tease you too or something

He’s also mature in a genuine way, like understanding of other people’s perspectives type mature

Not that faux I’m a dude type mature

Ok anyways onto your relationship

He will shamelessly ask for a crocheted scarf, mittens, and sweater

And he WILL wear them

They can be a set or not doesn’t matter his heart might actually burst if you give him anything of yours that you’ve crocheted

Pls he has a scarf you made him when it starts getting colder outside and one day a kid in his class asked about it and he was so 🤩

It took everything in him not to talk about you and your scarf all day

He simply told them his spouse made it for him and yes every kid immediately wanted one ☝🏼

Your loyalty and dedication to the relationship would mean a lot to him and he’d always be doing his best to show you he is just as dedicated

I feel like he’d do that like trying out your hobbies with you!

He’d totally sit and let you teach him how to crochet and then try his best to make you a scarf it does fall apart the first try and it does defeat him a little but boy is DETERMINED to make you a mf scarf

Ok I’m sorry enough with the crocheting LMAO

He’d love taking afternoon walks with you!

I could totally see you guys taking a little walk around the block or at a nearby park after you’re both off work and just catching up with your days and then making dinner when you two get home

They’re the highlight of his day :)

His students would know probably so much about you LMAO

You bring him lunch ONCE and you didn’t realize his kids would be still be in the classroom and they’re immediately bombarding you, they are also calling you by your first name LMAO

“Hi (y/n)~~~!”

“Oh my gosh can you please~~ make me a scarf!”

“Yeah me, too!”

“Wait wait look what I made you!”

It’s a stick figure drawing of what you think is you and suga on a piece of construction paper that’s your favorite color, why suga told them that you don’t know

Your hair is also rainbow because, they’re children LMAO

And Suga’s just standing there like 🧍🏼‍♂️

But it’s very sweet and it warms your heart to know that he’s always thinking of you :)

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Akaashi Keiji

He’s a bit quieter than Suga for sure, but with the company he keeps - I mean cmon Bokuto? - he’s CLEARLY ok with being energetic or at the very least being around energetic people

Ok with akaashi you’re not getting rid of Bokuto let’s address that first, you’ve just gained a new bestie

He is ALWAYS fawning over you two when you’re all together

Candid vids of you guys are basically all his private snapchat story is at this point

He’s really your biggest fan it’s so sweet, allbeit overbearing at times but he means well ❣️

I’m sorry,... I’m bringing up crocheting again...

If you crochet akaashi anything you have to make a second one because Bokuto will want one too I’m sorry LMAO

SOmtimes he doesn’t fully grasp that not everything involves him in the relationship, he just loves y’all

He wouldn’t cross boundaries though he’s not like that :)

Ok moving on from Bokuto LMAO

You two are that quiet, really gorgeous couple that scares people asjdkskajs

Like seeing you two together in public and you’re both so quiet but OBVIOUSLY love each other with the way you’re so physically close in proximity and the way you keep looking at each other

You two communicate with just your eyes ALL the time, like y’all will basically have full on conversations

You’ll be tired and want to go home to cuddle, and you’ll just look at Akaashi and the two of you will exchange a few glances before nodding your heads and your walking out hand in hand bye

It scares Bokuto

Anyway

PINKY HOLDING

I do see him as a big hand holder in public but he’s also insecure about his hands :(

So I feel like he’d have a habit of holding your hand and then letting go soon after when he gets insecure, and lord help him if his hands are clammy oh no

But you’d be so !!! No let me hold it!!

So you’d just latch onto his pinky one day when he goes to pull his hand away and just share a look

So now pinky hand holding is the norm

Ok he’s the kind of guy who would lowkey like how short you are

Like it’s perfect for cuddle dates

His fav is to lay in bed with you in between his legs and your leaning against his chest, and he’ll rest his chin on top of your head or just hold you there in general while you watch movies on his laptop

Your height is just so convenient for him

Also lowkey loves having to grab things off the top shelf for you and won’t change his habit of putting things up there so he can still grab them for you

One time tho he came into the kitchen to see you climbing onto the counter to grab something from the top shelf and he thought it was cute at the time until he had a bad dream that night about you falling and getting hurt somehow absjskakjdjd

Suddenly things are a bit easier to reach around the house...

Also a guy who loves walks :) early morning ones to school were his favorite cause they always started his day off ~right

Your vibe reminds me of...

I hope you liked this!!! I’d love to hear your thoughts! Good day ⛈ anon!

Requests are open until February 26th 8:00 pm PST

-🐇out

#haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyu requests #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu matchups #🐇200 follower event❣️#akaashi x reader #akaashi headcanons #hq akaashi #akaashi hcs #akaashi keji x reader #akaashi keiji #haikyuu keiji akaashi #sugawara x reader #sugawara koushi #sugawara headcanon #hq sugawara

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noodle-schrammy · 3 years

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Hey! We've never really had any interaction with each other, but I've always found your art to be super cool and cute and I'm so so proud to see you out & about of the closet. Also, your trans Flake/Paul art is super lit and cute. I apologise if this comes across as a little weird or uncomfortable, but holy shit man.,,, just so much pride in my heart. Go you!

Ksbdkdjsla

Sh oh my thanks dude, well that eith the closet was a fight for itself in on it all from being ace/aro to my now trans lil ass

Yet I feel more happy, in a bit confidential and I look myself up and down in the mirror so that's hella awesome :D

And dldjjfkdsl thank you, I was actually hesitant over posting at first over the trans AU yet by having the much love and questions on twitter it made me be more cool about posting and seeing how it works and it's ok there ate no uncomfy feelings or such thanks again and stay safe

:D 💜

#ask elijah #woho thanks again dude :D #thats fully neat and hey you are awesome too

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missmorosis · 3 years

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Hiii how are you?could i pls request a haikyuu valentines day matchup?

Im a 5’4 straight female,i have long black hair,im skinny and curvy ig,my eyes are dark brown so im a very social,positive outgoing person im also super kind and loyal aand also im caring and loving eith the people i care for,im good at helping and cheering up people also (based on friends opinions)im give good councils!i have a little problem trusting people with secrets/super personal things cause some things that happened to me but that doesn’t mean I don’t talk a lot about myself.!my mbti is esfp

Well my love language i think is quality time and physical touch im not sure haha,in a partner im searching for someone loving,someone i know i can trust an be loyal to me,someone that cares for me and understand that is not easy to me to open up to people and someone who can take tease and jokes and i can play around,basically someone i can be myself with:)

My hoobies are playing tennis and volleyball,hearing music,hanging out with friends(that’s a hobby?idk)aand 3 things i do daily are hearing music,scroll trough tiktok and walking my dog

Well that’s all i love your writing you are the best byeee❤️

AHH OMG IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BYE

but hehe i match you with...

SOKKA!

how he asked you out

-> You were listening to music, earphones occupying your ears. Music was at full blast, and you softly bopped your head along to the beat.

You jumped when someone tapped you on the shoulder out of the blue, but you relaxed when you saw it was Sokka.

“Did you hear what I said?” Sokka asked. You shook your head, and he ran his fingers through his hair. “Actually... never mind,” he mumbled, looking away.

“Tell me, it’s oka-”

“Will you go out with me?” he blurted, and you blinked.

“Y-yeah.” You felt as flustered as he looked, but the second he breathed out in relief, you smiled.

“Thank goodness,” he said, laughing.

how you spent the day together

-> You were at volleyball practice, bumping the ball over the net. You knew you had to work on your serves, so you were hard at work trying to improve. Your focus was completely on the ball, and you definitely did not expect Sokka to show up to your gym with flowers in his hand. He stood in the doorway, a huge grin on his face.

“Oh- hey!” you said, throwing the ball to the side and approaching your boyfriend.

“Hi, happy Valentine’s Day!” he said, handing you the flowers. He leaned in for a hug, but you scrunched your nose, pushing him away.

“I’m all sweaty,” you complained, and he smiled.

“I know, but I don’t mind.” He squished you in a hug, and you laughed.

#mm can you tell IM ACTUALLY SO DONE WITH THESE KLSDFJLK #SORRY ITS SO SHORT ANON #morosis's valentine's day event 💖#morosis matchups #sokka x reader #sokka #atla #atla fluff #sokka x you

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reindeercarrots · 4 years

Text

520 1314 - 51770 ❤

Hello my cute cutee cuteeee Reindeerrrr :x

Haha i don't think i can hit 5555 words, when i hit 3010 words, i thought you won't beat me, but well, you beat me so fast with 4444 words, now you wanna me hit 5555 hahahaha

It took me long time to read, but too long to write it LOL

Oh wow haha today we played chess together haha i'm happy to be with you either, i felt so good haha

You're funny, smart, and your reactions super cute hahahaha, love youuuuuu 520 1314, Svennnnnnnnn

Hmm told you, don't compare yourself with D, you're more excelent and smarter more than him, he is nothing

He insulted you, cause he realized you're standing at higher level

He agreed your english is good

And i agreed your comments about D

I'm not speak ill about him

Honestly, compare with my ex hb, D is better, but i didn't expect he is super selfish and insane like that

Last night you asked me how offen i have a drink, and i have drink right now haha, just a fruit wine, but it make me so sleepy haha

OMG i fell in sleep in my friend's house 😂😂😂 11 PM right now, OMG fruit wine made me fall in sleep OMG.

I'm looking forward to drinking with you one day hahaha of course we will show our silly personalities, hey we don't kill each other, won't drink until vomit and dizzy haha i just feel so sick then, nothing else

We will ruin our moment with stupid hard drunk

Tomorrow is our 1 month anniversary :x

Happy with Svennn

I have photography work tomorrow, i will try to finish it as soon as posible, then we are going to play PUGB together yeh? Play a game and talk with each other, it will be a simple happiness between us. i prefer a simple moment, slide of life, we found our happiness from usual life, it's a key to keep our love fire on fire

I'm not looking forward to something too special, i'm happy with Sven now, talk together, write together, draw together, play game together

All of this are worth with me

Thank you for taking care for me

Thank you for loving me more and more, i never regret anything when I choose you, and i'm happy when you choose me either

I will tell you when my mood is down, you're the person i really want to lean on

I hope when your mood is down, you will tell me eithe. We will fight and beat it together, always, i agree and i promise with you. We will together. I'm happy when you always be there when i need you most. I'll be there when you need me most either, just whisper my name, you will see

Ah you asked me about the meaning of 4444?

Hahaha i thought you know the meanning of number 4444 when i wrote your letter, but its not lollll

4444 in china is a bad luck number, accent sounds like death

So forget about China

We have 4 seasons : spring, summer, autumn and winter, which is the ecological cycle of all things, equivalent to 4 quarters of the year.

We have 4 directions are: east, west, south, north, which are the directions to determine the geographical location.

We have 4 trees represent 4 seasons "Mai - Lan - Cuc - Truc" ( i dunno how to say it in english lol) and 4 arts "Cam - Ky - Thi - Hoa" ( i dunno how to say it in eng either) , the four treasures of knowledge "Paper - Pen - Ink - Research".

Moreover, in the beliefs of Vietnamese people, there are the four immortals (Thanh Giong, Son Tinh, Chu Dong Tu, Princess Lieu Hanh), 4 who represent the pursuit of victory over nature, the pursuit of wisdom, health, happiness and fortune. So that number 4 makes sense of peace and stability, bringing long-term stability.

Hey, your caring make me so happy ~~~ yêu Svennnnnnnnnnnn

I dunno how many words in here

I have a lot of thíngs need to anwer you from your longest letter, can i owe you it?

Hahaha i'm super sleepy cause of wine

So i will owe u double drawing either haha

Yêu Svennnnnnn nhiều thật nhiều :x

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im-tops-bottom · 5 years

Text

An idea my sleep deprived mind came up with

After the stupid civil war, Tony spends more time making better suits and weapons for everyone.

Thor and Bruce had returned a year later saying Loki tricked them and had been working alongside their sister Hela who destroyed Asgard. Now they are heading for earth with Thanos. They're bringing the war to them.

So yeah Tony Stark became real busy. Especially since he had to not only organize Pepper and Natasha's wedding, but also bring the rogues back, attend SI meetings and make new products for the company to sell. Sleep left his dictionary and was replaced with more energy drinks and more coffee.

At least he had Shuri and Peter to help take some of the load. Those alphas are going to grow up to be the best the world has ever seen. Tony is proud of them.

A week later the rogues return, Tony manages to organize several different products and a few updates on previous ones to keep the board happy for the remainder of the year, get at least one new suit for each hero and all new tech courtesy of the kids (especially when Harley came over for a visit and got several new types of arrows organized), and also managed to get a 3 hour sleep on there.

After everything was done, a day later was the wedding. Tony had ignored the rogues, the paps and anyone else who he didn't deem family. It was pretty much easy as he mainly kept to himself in his isolated corner. It was better when it was nearing close to midnight and everyone was tipsy amd chatting away, he had left to return back to the compound.

A couple of days later everyone decided to do some training, well mostly everyone.

"Thor have you seen Tony? He should be here training"

"he has barely left his lab. Always looking for better ways to upgrade everything for when Thanos finally reaches us. None of us know exactly what Thanos is bringing so it'll be best to be better prepared"

Steve frowns before rolling his eyes and giving up. Ever since everyone found out about Steve's secret and wjat happened im sibera, Steve had been working non stop to seek forgiveness from his team. Ever since finding out from Thor and Bruce that Tony had been right all along he had been seeking Tony's forgiveness for everything. It had been a difficult process since Tony hates Steve and is terrified of Bucky. He Huff's as he starts training.

The next day is when everything turns to shit. Tony finally decides to join everyone for lunch when Loki Grace's them with his presence. All his attention had mainly been on Tony which made everyone nervous.

"what do you want green bean?"

"only to make the battlefield even"

"what do you mean by that?"

"we need to take Earth's greatest defender down a notch or two"

"good luck taking down Captain America"

"who says it was him?"

Tony gets sent across the room via green magic hitting him. He growls as he stands up. He drops a few seconds later as he has an urge to vomit.

"that should do the trick"

"what did you do to Tony?"

"a person can't fight if they're pregnant. Now hmmm who should I make the father?? Oooh I know"

That night Tony had locked himself away in his room not letting anyone aside from vision who can go through walls in. After a panic attack followed with a massive rant, vision had calmed him down saying it wasn't good for the baby.

"you'll work something out tony Stark. You always do."

The problem with all of this was that Tony was a firm believer in bonding with someone first before having a baby. He always had beta's to get him through his heats just in case. Now not only is he having a baby whose father is the winter soldier but said alpha is buddied up with boyfriend Captain alpha tight pants. How is an unmated omega sub (he was really into BDSM) meant to cope having a baby. All sorts of emotions and hormones are going to be kicking in soon. He was not prepared.

"those two alphas can go get fucked if they think I'll let them anywhere near me. I'll let them see the baby once it pops out but until then they can stay away from me"

"Tony maybe you should sit down and half a civilized talk with them. anyone you want can be there with you while you guys clear the air. After that maybe you could think about everything with a clear head"

Tony sighs as he lays down with his head om Jarvis lap.

"your right. I'm sorry about being closed off. I never meant to but I'm just scared and angry."

"it's understandable now go shower and we'll go and get the both of you something to eat."

3 months later tony is sick of everyone. They are too careful around Tony. Do everything around the house. Does the heavy lifting for everything. Makes sure Tony eats and sleeps properly. Banned him from alcohol and coffee. Amd have tried to push him to talk with the super soldiers. Everyone except Pepper and Nat who is always present whenever tony is alome with the soldiers.

Tony relaxes on the couch one night while watching a movie. He tenses as he feels Wanda's presence. She sits at the far end of the couch to start off with and then Tony feels a headache come on as she slowly slides down the cpuch towards him. In frustration he turns his head amd growls as he watches her eye his stomach.

"would you just hurry up and get over here dammit"

Wanda smiles as she slides all the way down. She slowly raises her hand and it annoys Tony so he quickly grabs it and places it softly on his tummy. They both jolt in surprise.

"did the baby just?"

"yeah I think they did"

"wow"

"I know right"

They sit there and watch a new movie while smiling everytime there was movement. They snuggled up laughing amd chatting away before they got into the serious conversation Tony had been holding off since the two met. Afrer crying and hugging they returned back to their original position and carried on watching the movie.

After the 4th movie played, Wanda in all her beta goodness tried to keep a tense Tony calm. It didn't take long to find out why he was tense when she looked up and saw a growling Bucky amd a worried Steve.

"get away from him witch"

"Steve take your guard dog and get out of here. She's allowed tobe here"

"tony I don't thi-"

"you don't ever think and that's your problem not mine"

Everyone tensed as Bucky's growling got louder as he got closer to Wanda. Wanda sighed amd looked at Tony. They have a silent conversation before nodding. Wanda gets up after kissing Tony's stomach and head.

"have a good night Tony"

"yeah you two Wanda".

Tony watched Wanda leave before glaring at Bucky who completely ignored him and sat on the couch and dragged Tony onto his lap. He was trying to figure out what Bucky was doing until it was too late.

"WHAT THE FUCK JAMES? DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST DO THAT? STEVE I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU DONT GET HIM OUT OF HERE I WILL KILL HIM"

Steve rolled his eyes as he sat on the couch and nuzzled Tony as well. His had held Bucky's while they laid it on Tony's tummy.

"I'm gonna murder the both of you in your sleep"

"we need to talk Tony"

"you come in here, scare a kid-"

"she's not a kid"

"away, amd then mark your god damn territory! Seriously! Now I'm gonna be smelling like the both of you animals"

Bucky growled as he nipped Tony's shoulder letting out a "good" before carrying Tony back to his and Steve's bed where they lay claim and Mark Tony over and over again until their scents become one.

The next day while the soldiers sleep Tony heads over to Wanda's room. She smells him and says "oh no" before calling the girls. Food, drinks, chick flicks, games, blankets and a few other things come along as the girls have a girl's day in with Tony. Tony tells them what had happened and the girl pamper him which calms him down. He smiles as he gets a massage from Nat while Pepper is painting his toe nails amd Maria is doing his finger nails.

Tony tenses as there's a frantic knock at the door. May opens it up as Thor rushes in saying that Tony needs to head down to the medical bay quick. Tony and the girls follow Thor quickly and 10 minutes later tony is a mess again.

"Loki did this? I'm gonna kill someone real soon."

Turns out tony is gonna have two babies. Both girls. One belongs to Bucky and the other belongs to Steve. Speaking of the two, they rush into the room along with everyone else. Tony yells at them and then explains to everyone who didn't know, what had happened. Clint points out that Loki must have known what happened.

With much reluctance Tony allows Steve to carry him back to the super soldier room so they can cuddle some more. The cuddling turned out to be more scenting, more claiming, more marking. Tony says fuck it and bites Steve and Bucky's bond marks right back. Hard enough that they bleed for a minute before healing which shocks the soldiers.

"you want me? Okay sure. But I'm going to make it a living hell for the both of you. You wanna talk? Fine lets talk. Talking starts now."

Alot of yelling amd talkimg comes into play and everyone says what they need to say. Tears and pain come in but no one gives a shit as they finally clear the air. Tony makes an effort to let them know that babies and bonding doesn't change anything and they need to work real hard for his forgiveness and trust. They promise they will.

"do you also promise to not tear Wanda's head off Everytime she is near me?"

"that witch messed with you. She is still an untrained Hydra agent who has powers. No"

"fine I'll get her a tutor who can train her. I'll ask Xavier or Stephen to help out. Once she is trained then can we sit down for cuddles and watch movies eith the girls in peace?"

"fine but Friday will keep an eye on you guys"

"ugh fine"

Months later finds Tony go into labour while everyone fights thanos and his army. Captain Marvel comes in and saves the day and breaks Loki and hela from thanos'hold much to Thor's relief.

Steve and Bucky race into the hospital room and stand guard as they watch Tony give birth to two adorable pups. One with blond hair and another with brown. After Tony scents them, he passes them to Steve snf Bucky so they can scent them as well. They take the babies while Tony gets some rest amd introduce them to their new family.

As Tony falls asleep hr smiles at his mates knowing nothing will be the same ever again. It also didn't help that Bucky said they plan on properly getting Tony pregnant.

5 years later finds a hectic mummy Tony running making breakfast while everyone takes a baby each to bathe, change amd feed. Tony is pissed off because of his stupid mates.

"20! I HAVE 20 FUCKEN CHILDREN! 10 EACH! AMD YOU TWO STILL WANT MORE! AM I RUNNING A SCHOOL HERE! IM SURE THIS SHOULD BE ILLEGAL! I HATE YOU TWO"

"language honey. There are children around"

"and besides. We did say that our families were known for giving birth to more than 2 children at a time. We can't help that it probably double due to the serum"

"Steve was fine. I had 2 to 4 children. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND! I GAVE BIRTH TO 9 OF THOSE LITTLE RUNTS! 9 BUCKY! WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Bucky laughs as he walks over to Tony and hugs him. He places his hand over Tony's tummy and lets out a happy sigh.

"and I have 8 more on the way"

"and then it'll be my turn"

"it sure will Stevie. It sure will"

"I really really hate the both of you"

"hey! It comes with benefits. You aren't doing much work now as everyone else is having fun doing it for your and loving their Jobs, you are also hurt free, and have a proper eatinf and sleeping schedule."

"we also get to spend more time with you with lots of cuddling."

"I feel like if I wasn't an Omega then you guys would have just tied me down to the bed amd kept an eye on me 24/7 so I couldn't leave"

"if we didn't love the feeling of seeing you with our pups then that would have been a guarantee. Our kink? Pregnant Tony"

"even better kink, our Tony pregnant with our pups,,"

"now since breakfast is ready, eat up sweetie because we are horny"

"I'm five seconds away from fucking Tony on the kitchen table. Do we have to wait.?"

"well no"

"great"

Bucky picks up Tony who yelps and carries him away. Steve stands there and stares at everyone.

"right. I'll grab our breakfast and everyone can dish themselves out some."

Steve races to their room with food and drinks in hand....well on a tray

#stucky #stuckony #this is just a pure mess #i love it

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bwoahtastic · 1 year

Note

Max going into a stress heat and can’t take a knot? He’s in so much pain but the pack cant help…Nico tries to get a finger in Max but even that is pushing it. Nico tries to soothe his baby omega as much as possible but it’s going to be a horrible heat

Oh noo poor baby!

Max smelling of heat and normally its a great time and a good thing if you ask nico, cos Heats ate healthy and it means her omega is happy in the pack!

But Max smells all wrong, his scent to sour and worried and Nico I'd very worried. She goes and sits eith him, let's him tuck into her side snd he admits he thinks it's a stress Heat because his next heat wouldn't be for weeks. Nico asks if she csn try to finger him, just so they know what to expect and where they are at. Max tries to be brave and nott o show he is hurting when she gently eases her finger in, but Nico isn't stupid and stops immediately!

The heat would be very tough and all the other Omegas and betas need to help a lot! The Alphas are close too but Max is stressed and doesn't want them near, Heat foggy brain thinking they will try and fuck him...

Nico making do with pleasuring Max with her mouth and letting him suck on her cock a bit. Then maybe slowly fucking between his thighs? Cock rubbing up against his pussy and clitnbut not pushing in, just giving him some pressure and making sure to cum over his pussy when she reaches her peak.

Max gets so many kisses and told he is doing so so well, but it's a super stressful heat for all of them

#asks #pack alpha nico #smut

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callsignbaphomet · 5 years

Text

OC Interview

1. What is your name? “Jelani Haakonson.”

2. How old are you? "20."

3. What do you look like? "Long hair, blue eyes, black, according to somebody way too tall."

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now? "Originally from Capital Wasteland. Now I'm kind of nowhere really. I mean, we took a bunker we found and cleaned it out and now we're holed up there but we move around a lot and honestly, once we get tired of Boston we're shipping out to whoever the fuck knows."

5. What was your childhood like? "Bittersweet I guess. It wasn't exactly charming or easy. Eh, not something I revisit often."

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions? "Ok, so I may or may not have gotten on Preston's bad side--not that I give a shit. Probably not on best terms with those railroad quacks after I insulted them. I mean, it wasn't an insult I was just being honest that they took it as an insult is a them problem. I don't think the 'Institute' is real so obviously not allied to them or whatever. I kinda stay away from the BoS in the area and apparently Nisha wants to and I quote stab me in the throat, pull out the knife and make Angelus choke on my blood and it sounds kinky as fuck but I'm still waiting for that stabbing.

Think the only people we actually get along with is The Pack and The Operators. Oh, and those really sweet ghouls up in that farm and Varg from that group of ghouls that live on that ship.”

7. Tell me about your best friend. "He's an idiot, way too loud, way too hyper, wastes far too many bullets and barely hits anything, skinny, little pale twink that I loved enough to marry. He's still an idiot though."

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them! "Ja, I have an older brother. He taught me everything our parents taught him. I was too little to remember a lot of it so after they died he picked up where they left off. Basically raised me. He's nice, a little too nice for his own good but he means well. He'll help anyone no matter what."

9. What about a partner or partners? "Yeah, husband. Talked about him earlier."

10. Who are your enemies? And why? Aside from Nisha I might sorta, kinda be wanted by the NCR and it's probably a good idea to never go back to New Vegas.

Thing with Nisha is because she found out I was talking trash about her and her little group. At least The Pack surprisingly has a clear view of what they want, Operators obviously know what they want and what to do. Nisha and those rabid little assholes just wanna kill everything and ok in a way I can admire that but there’s no pay off to it, there’s no point. And I just don’t like the bitch and she needs to live with it. Still waiting for that stabbing, Nisha. Need my address?

NCR is a huge mess. I don’t even remember why we were fighting but this asshole named Lucien just started shit with my brother so obviously I wasn’t having any of it so I stepped in. Shit escalated and we shot ‘em and took their coats because...fuck them all. NCR found out and of course now we’re on bad terms with them to the point where it’s kill on sight."

11. Have you ever heard of the Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them? "Ok with all due respect to my mother I think they're just glorified raiders who come to places they're not wanted and like locusts take what they want and use people only to then move on and leave the area all the worse. I get why my mother joined but I'm glad she went awol."

12. What about The Enclave? "I don't know that much, I don't even think they're around anymore. All I know is my maternal grandmother was in The Enclave."

13. How do you feel about Super Mutants? "Annoyed. Trigger happy freaks who just never calm the fuck down."

14. What's the craziest fight you ever been in? "This was back in New Vegas and we were in the strip. So a couple of us were at Gomorrah, there was a lot of drinking. So after some fucking around on the courtyard we all head up to one of the suites and we're passing around more drinks, chems of all kinds and prostitutes. So there was this one prostitute I can't even remember what the fuck he looked like but he was crazy for jet and guess what I had plenty of. Later that night someone comes to the fucking door asking for a Jake. None of us really know each other, we were all just a bunch of mercs fucking around. So everybody starts asking for a Jake and who was it? The guy who I was balls deep in. Great. Turns out that bitch was that guy's favorite but I'm an asshole about it, I'm drunk and high off everything you can imagine. I walk up to the guy at the door and tell him that he can have him back once I'm done with him and close the door and we get back to it. Guy doesn't like that but walks away.

So we're all still drinking and fucking and suddenly we hear gunshots down the hall and the same dude from before yelling for Jake to come out. He kicks down the door, fights his way through the group and pulls out a knife while he yells that that's his bitch I was fucking. I don't even know why but I just put my hand up, I guess I was trying to grab his hand but ended up putting my palm in front of me and he just stabs my hand. At that moment I didn't feel a thing. The whole room just stopped and we're all looking at my hand and that psycho. I shake my hand to get it off but all I'm really doing is spraying blood everywhere and we all start laughing but that guy wasn't laughing so he yells and goes to shoot but two other guys this one prostitute push the guy and they wrestle the gun from him somehow. I'm still laughing really loud and I don't know why but I grabbed him and stood him up and I pushed him. Pushed him hard enough that he went through the window and the last thing we heard was this really nasty splat.

We all looking at the dead guy and then at each other and the girl that got the gun off him just yells out this really slurred bye and we lose our shit. We're laughing hard and making a bigger raucous and just then some Omerta assholes walk in with guns drawn and shit. She was the only one who wasn't drunk or high so she tells 'em what the fuck just happened and they just give us a generic warning and we keep going till we blackout. I woke up two days later near Novac and Loke looking at me like a disappointed dad and talks my ear off for an hour. I don't remember what the fuck he said I was hungover and my hand hurt like a bitch. No regrets that was a hell of a fun night."

15. Have you ever fought a deathclaw? "...I have and on several occasions but one sticks out and it's probably the worst moment of my life. When Loke and I realized we were wanted by the NCR he goes up to me and says, 'Lillebror, we need to get the fuck outta here. Now.' So he's panicking and he never panics so I'm panicking. Long story short we go with this caravan who's moving to Boston because you know there's safety in numbers and they have a map and they've used that same route dozens of times.

Turns out there was a really bad storm and the usual route was blocked off by this massive tree and if we didn’t have some brahmin with us and there wasn’t a caravan we could have climbed over it. So we’re looking at the map and I notice this route through what I’m guessing used to be some mines that led back to the main route. That route was the fastest but hadn’t been used for a long time but I keep insisting it’s better than going through the other one which would cost us about 3 days. So we go and we literally walk into a goddamn deathclaw nest. We manage to kill one since it was already wounded but then the other one shows up and Loke tries to lure it away from the group while I get everyone to a safe distance. Once I do I go back for my brother and I try to get that thing’s attention so Lo can hide. Didn’t exactly go as planned and I watched Lo and the deathclaw fall.

I thought he’d died and I don’t know I stayed at the nest just waiting. I don’t know those few days after are a blur and the only reason I snapped out of it was because Dagny was injured and she was hungry and I knew she wouldn’t be able to survive on her own. So I finally got up and walked to Boston because of her.

Luckily Lo made it and we eventually found each other again but that was the worst deathclaw encounter I’ve ever had.”

16. Do you like fighting? “Not particularly, I mean, if I have to I will but I don’t actively try to look for fights.”

17. What's your weapon of choice? “Antimaterial sniper rifle that used to belong to my mom. I can pretty much use anything but that’s my go to.”

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?) Combination of skills. I was basically trained since I was a kid to use most any weapon and how to survive out there. Also picked up how to hack into any terminal I come across. I leave the charm and manipulation and lockpicking to Angelus and any and all robot know how to Lo.”

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think of them? “Yeah, we actually went looking for a violin for this old lady, it was inside a vault. I don’t really know what to think of them aside from the fact that they’re really creepy.”

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you? “Look I have a lot of specific things I take with me whenever I go out there and a metric fuck ton of Rad Away is one of them. I never eat anything that’s raw and I spend a long time washing food before I cook it. I’ve barely had to deal with that shit and I intend to keep it that way.”

21. What's your favorite wasteland critter? “Fine, I might be a bit biased but night stalkers and dogs. Dagny’s been an amazing pet and Maya’s an absolute sweetheart.”

22. What's your least favorite wasteland critter? “Deathclaws. Hate them to death. I don’t like admitting to it but they scare the fuck out of me and whenever I run into one I’m scared to death that it’ll hurt or kill someone I care about and I get into this weird fight or flight state where I’m either gonna run the fuck away as fast as I can or I fight till I run out of bullets or it kills me.”

23. How do you feel about robots? “To be honest they kind of used to freak me out a little especially robobrains but watching Loki put ‘em together and fix ‘em is actually pretty interesting and Kat’s fun. She’s bitchy in a fun way.”

24. How many caps do you have on you right now? “I never leave without at least 400 caps, you never know what the fuck’s gonna happen out there. There’s also several stashes with at least 200 caps in them that Angelus and I have hidden in areas we frequent.”

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla? “Fuck, man, Nuka always, especially Nuka Cherry. When I saw the damn bottling plant over at Nuka world I nearly cried.”

26. Do you do chems? “Uh...not really anymore. Ok, as a teenager I was drinking a lot and basically trying every chem anybody would offer. I didn’t keep any with me because I knew my brother would kick the shit out of me. I didn’t use frequently because I was afraid Loki would find out and I was really cautious about addiction. Now skip forward to Boston and this was after the deathclaw incident and I thought Loki was dead and I blamed myself for what happened and I wasn’t in a good place at all I’ll admit it. Met Angelus and some of his friends and they were getting high and/or drunk all the goddamn time we went to Nuka World and it got to a point where I thought that it would be better if I just died so I took to jet because it was the only thing that would numb me enough to stop feeling anything especially the guilt. On one particularly shitty day I was drunk and that exacerbated that guilty feeling so I hid and took one hit after another until I blacked out and next thing I know Angelus was pumping me full of Addictol while this other Operator helped him. Apparently I was declared dead for two minutes and when I came to I was fucking pissed off at him. That was the point and he fucked it up for me but I’m actually grateful for it and after that I stopped taking any of it and he actually slowed down on using any of them. He occasionally still used but not as much as before and he’s kinda stopped ever since we got married so win-win I guess.”

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world? “No, I don’t actually. That time is long gone and it’s never coming back so there’s no point in wasting time and energy into thinking about it. I’ve read up on it several times and while it sounds practical it also sounds utterly boring and I don’t know if society as it is now could possibly go back to it, not when we’ve lived this way for this long.”

28. What's your deepest regret? What would you do differently? “I have plenty of regrets but there are some I regret more than others. I regret suggesting that route that led to that nest, I regret getting addicted to jet and overdosing on it but I especially regret the one time I was brave enough to kill myself. This was obviously before I found out that Loke was still alive, this was after the overdose and way before we got married. I told Angelus to look after Dagny while I went out to do a favor for someone. I just kept walking and walking until I ran into this small abandoned bunker and I broke in and just dropped on the floor and just stayed there for days. I was choking on this guilt and I didn’t know how to make it stop. So I grabbed the knife I always carry with me and I just cut as deep as I could and waited. Few minutes later I could hear barking and in rushes Dagny followed by Maya, Angelus, Ginger, and Abigail. Spent a few weeks at their place. Didn’t eat, didn’t talk, barely moved, three of them watched me like a hawk. I’d made up my mind to eat a bullet as soon as they let their guard down but Angelus got pissed the fuck off at me and he started yelling at me. Told me I was acting like an asshole and being selfish. I finally spoke up and told him that I should’ve died with Lo and he actually pushed me and told me that Lo didn’t sacrifice himself only for me to go and kill myself and that by doing that I was spitting in his face and it made sense. We just stayed in bed for a few days, cried more than I ever did in my entire life and I don’t know it just made a bit of sense.

If I knew that I would eventually run into Loke and find out that he was still alive I would have never done any of that especially after Lo saw the scars and asked and I didn’t lie. I should’ve but I didn’t wanna lie to him and he was crying and I was crying and it was a bit of a mess. He told me that he thought about doing it too when he wasn’t able to find me and thought that maybe I’d died. That’s my biggest regret.”

29. What's your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve? “Look in this day and age I’ll consider growing old and dying of natural causes like the ultimate achievement.”

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? “Don’t really have a plan, I mean, I’m just kind of winging it. For now we’re here in Boston but who knows, if there’s some other place we could run off to we’ll go and take it from there.”

Tagged by @wild-w4steland-snip3r (thank you, dear, this was super fun!)

Tagging @spiderkingtony and anyone else who actually read through and wanna do it.

#la: fallout #jelani tag #oc things

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honghuas · 5 years

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thoughts on 211-216 . it’s a super long post because i was pretty behind !

“Wait!” Shi Qing Xuan called out, “Hua Chengzhu says you tell those usel… those martial gods to hide themselves and heal on their own; you’d be seeking your own deaths if you try to break out under Jun Wu’s hands.”

ADGSG SQX ALMOST SAYING VERBATIM ‘USELESS GODS’ oh HC you really hate them hahahahaha

Shi Qing Xuan replied, “Uuhh, umm, that San Lang of yours looks really scary right now…

h- i’m slightly spooked that xl is crawling in this underground tunnel and notices he’s not alone no wonder hc is reaaaally concerned fdhhdh

No wonder RuoYe couldn’t fight back; it was scared of being tied into a dead knot the most. In the past, before it wised up it liked to wrap itself around mindlessly to play, and as it played it’d pile itself into a mess of dead knots, and it was Xie Lian who’d exasperatedly untie him every time. Later, it learned to be good, smarter, and had never knotted itself dead again.

oh..... 😔 haha when ur suici.de cloth is afraid of deathknots....i’m emo

Jun Wu continued, “You’ve come from a renowned household, an orthodox clan that never traversed the path of evil, raised and grew up in the sect, and was influenced since young that to ascend was the ultimate goal in life. A pursuit such as this is very difficult to give up. To fall to the ghost realm could only said to be a forced situation, an act borne of helplessness. Of course you’re not able to say you’re satisfied with the current position in the ghost realm, because it wasn’t what you wanted in the first place.”

Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…”

“I know.” Jun Wu said, “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu who died during banishment, am I right?”

“...Yes.” Yin Yu said, “So whether I’m satisfied with the current position, it’s all…”

aaaaaaaaaa the lore but yy bbaby don’t be tricked !!!!

Then, Yin Yu continued, “...BUT… But I only… I only wanted to just hate him, it doesn’t mean I have to hurt him. What’s that “should’ve been mine”? Other than natural talent, there is nothing that belonged to anyone from birth. OTHER PEOPLE’S POSSESSIONS, I DON’T WANT THEM!!”

Xie Lian’s eyes lit up and shouted, “WELL SAID!”

Yin Yu continued, “I do want to return to the heavens, I do want to be ranked in the top ten! BUT! If I didn’t manage all that on my own then it’s completely meaningless! I’m unlucky, I accept it! If I’m not as powerful as him, then at the very least I can admit I’m not as powerful as him!”

“ADMITTING THAT I CAN’T COMPARE IS NOT THAT HARD!”

oh god yy we don’t deserve you and you don’t deserve this 😔😔😔😔😔

“But… in the end, I… still think… it’s so unfair.” Yin Yu sobbed, “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I… wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But… I couldn’t even do that. It’s really… so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yi Zhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.”

Xie Lian comforted softly, “Your highness, you’ve already worked really hard. And, you’ve done very well. You’re already much, much better than most people.”

Yin Yu finally gave a small chuckle arduously, “Better than most people, huh?”

After he stopped, he sighed, and the sound of his last regret passed along with his soul as he mumbled, “But, I wanted to be a god…”

Xie Lian bowed his head deeply, “But, your highness Yin Yu, there is actually no god in this world…”

that shit hit different ,,,

He was gasping harshly, subconsciously covering his own neck and feeling that cursed shackle. A touch, and other than the cursed shackle, Xie Lian also felt something else.

It was a very thin, silver chain. It used to be cold, but because he’s worn it for so long, his body had already warmed it through. Hanging on the silver chain was a crystal clear ring.

After having felt it, Xie Lian’s shoulders immediately stiffened, and he gripped that ring tight. For some reason, his heart was pounding faster and faster, as if he had learned an incredible secret.

oh no did he figure out those are hc’s ashes ??? and right in front of the villain, what a dangerous situation... 😔

After two incense time later, before the Great Martial Hall, several figures finally appeared. They saw a lady cultivator in verdant robes riding a burly black ox, a sacred sword hanging on her waist, approaching languidly with several farmers following behind, each varying in sizes.

It was actually the Rain Master who had come!

MY QUEEN! SHE’S HERE! SHE’S HERE!

Hua Cheng hadn’t even walked over before Xie Lian had already forcefully glomped over.

This was a powerful glomp, and Hua Cheng actually wasn’t pushed back for a few steps by the force, not even a wobble. He only placed his hands on Xie Lian’s back, chuckling lightly without speaking.

DBFGMHM !? GLOMPED ????? ARE YOU FIVE ??? ;;; he’s just happy to see his mans after all this shit !

As they went, Hua Cheng’s vambraces shimmered silver, transforming into silver butterflies, and they gradually lost colour, hiding into the air. There were probably hundreds of thousands of wraith butterflies by now that were dispersed throughout the Heavenly Capital. Along the way, they’d suddenly go up or go down, abruptly hide or appear, perfectly dodging every patrolling guard.

ugh. kingue. perfection. you. UGH.

A short while later, Xie Lian dropped onto the edge of an eave and abruptly stopped, looking back at Hua Cheng seeming to be pensive. Seeing him stilled, Hua Cheng also stopped, “What is it? Have you noticed something?”

Xie Lian frowned slightly and nodded, and said pensively, “No. It’s just, it feels like this scene had played somewhere else before…”

oh my god. omh ym god mohmyohdojsohgs. HE FELT IT WAS FAMILIAR BECAUSE HE DOESN’T REALIZE HC IS WUMING AND THEY DID THE SAME THING ONCE IN YONG AN AAAAAAaaaaAAAAaaa

“Okay, you can now give me an order.”

Hua Cheng’s right hand was holding his left elbow while his left hand supported his chin, and he looked at Xie Lian, seeming to be thinking very seriously for a moment before he said, “Then, ge ge, my order is--”

A moment later came the anticipated command. Hua Cheng smiled happily, “--Let’s borrow some spiritual powers.”

Of course Xie Lian understood what he meant by “Borrow spiritual powers” and his head almost smoked. He quickly took off the robe and said, “It’s, it’s not this one!”

“Ah, what a shame. It’s not this one.” Hua Cheng lamented.

Xie Lian schooled his expression, “San Lang, you… this isn’t right. You have to be more serious, don’t give orders like these.”

LKHSAKJAJFSA I can’t believe hc is using the brocade immortal to get his dose of kisses out of xl LMAOOOOO

Then, he handed Xie Lian another set of robes. Xie Lian swiftly put it on and looked up again at Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng watched him for a moment, “Ge ge…”

A short moment later, he smiled widely, “Don’t borrow spiritual powers from me.”

“...”

He’s been careless! How could Hua Cheng do this!

Xie Lian hastily removed that robe, “OKAY! It’s not this one eith…” But Hua Cheng stopped him, “Wait, ge ge, who says it’s not this one? You haven’t proven it yet.”

“Don’t borrow spiritual powers from me” was Hua Cheng’s order. If Xie Lian was to prove the robe he was wearing right now wasn’t the Brocade Immortal then he must not obey Hua Cheng’s order. Which meant, he had to do the opposite thing -- “Borrow spiritual powers from Hua Cheng”.

Going around in circles and they came back to the same starting point! Xie Lian was shaken while staring at Hua Cheng’s serious face, “...That’s, you’re too cunning, you can’t do that.”

DALHJAKFGHSGKFKA ??!? WHA T A BRAT SHGSJGKS hc really, you’re in a hostile situation and trying to get attention--

Xie Lian didn’t know what to say to retaliate at all, and he raised his finger to point at him for a moment, “You... you, ah, I can’t win with you, stop playing around!” Then without any delay, he rushed up and “chu”-ed. Even though he knew there was clearly no one around, but after he’d done the deed he still looked around, as if cautious of anyone who might be peeping.

-ah!!! xl is so easily won over GOD SGSGSdfs soooo cute tho

Jun Wu could establish a ward within the Heavenly Capital, isolating everyone within the ward from the outside world, then naturally Hua Cheng could also create an even smaller ward, sealing the spiritual powers of those within and prevent them from communicating spiritually. A small ward within a larger war, in this moment, this side chamber had become a chest within a chest.

a dream, with a dream, within a -

“You had a chance to remove those cursed shackles.” Hua Cheng said, “Why did you keep those things to bind you?”

Xie Lian hadn’t expected he’d ask that question and was taken aback, “Maybe… it was to remind myself of some things.” He then said, “San Lang, don’t… don’t change the subject. What kind of bad habit is this? The situation just now, it’d be fine if you’d just hold me own, why did you have to take the blow yourself?”

However, Hua Cheng replied, “Ge ge, you knew this is a bad habit too? When it comes to taking a beating, you have no right to lecture me, you know.”

oh goodness this scene , though playful ,really hurts knowing hc is referencing all the shit xl went through in book 4 including being stabbed 100 times but xl thinks he’s referring to something more recent and purely theoretical 😔😔 xl really has no clue he is wuming....

whew, that was a LOT to get through and i’m terribly depressed now but at least there was some cute moments with hualian being stronger together and sillier too 😔😔😔

#yo whaddup demons it’s me ya boi — ( ooc )#spoilers //

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perfectionistincrisis · 7 years

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Life these days!

Hmph :) So i have never..no let me write that in caps! So i have NEEEEVEEERRRRRRR (aha👌) felt this before. Like no, no its not cause i dont have a good vocabulary or something or like im not good with words or something, i mean those are not the reasons. But but i REALLY REALLY find it impossible to describe -IN WORDS- how much I feel for him. Like you know how somethings bugging you..Oh well everything bugs me.. And i DIEEE to tell him..But i cant🙃 So idk I just talk to myself maybe or like atleasr i have words i can use. But like those stuff are wordless. He means so much to mee.. And God!!!!!!! You have no idea how restless you feel when you have to keep such strong feelings suppressed within you! So normally I had some stuff to do. Like arranging my room, my clothes, my shoes, my stuff n all and i thought ill do them towards the end of vacation or in other words after my bro leaves which is like in 10 days but then i already feel like vacations ending. Now i dont mean that in a 'dramatic' way like you know, how your whole life every vaaction when its ending theres this sadness or happiness, well that depends. But like i mean there is some emotion you have towarss it and its like a "thing" like OH noo or oh yaaaayyy *dramatic* vacs almost over!!!!! Bleh -- yeah that ^ isnt there anymore. Cause like now im more of living life one day at a time. Like sure as hell i have plans/ dreams for future but when im 'living' a day at a time and you know that saying about how lifes a 'journey not a destination' - well ive been hearing it SO much since i was a kid. As in its such a mainstream quote that i just took it as something cheap and tacky w/o ever even realizing what it wants to say. I mean ok i do understand ehat it means but only now i can realize the 'depth' of it after experiencing life a bit. I think it means to say that life is ongoing, it will forever be until ofcourse we pass away. But like, then 'passing away' is the end point aka destination BUT nothing else before that is. So since passing away is certain we can ignore it and say that theres no 'destinatiom' in life. What we usually mistaken as destination are our 'dreams/ goals’ in life. But no, they are not destinations or end points. They are your targets. You want them, and yes you will adjust your life in order to focus and head towards your targets and youll be fighting for it and eventually you will reach it one day but. Your life will not end there. It does not end there. You keep living. New problems may come up. New targets will arise. So you see? Life is ongoing. May be these days youre living life but its not anywhere close to your dreams/ goals but BUTTTTT your life right now is also AS REAL as the life youre always picturing in your head. IT. IS. AS. REAL! so yeah life is ongoing. Its vacation now but yeah it wont be anymore and its not just the fact that it wont be vacation anymore but to add to that itll be SUPER hectic but yeah thats life and then before you know it therell be a vacation and then itll end and blaablaa. Life goes on!!!!! And you need to be okay with it and face anything that comes in your way with an open heart! I said face it. Means sometimes you need to accept, sometimes fight, sometimes struggle, sometimes cherish. Aha soooo ok lets get back to what i was sayin :3 Yeah so i mean its almost a month left, and for me i kind of feel like vac almost ending and i just dont really want to keep sruffs like cleaning and organisjng for the week before uni will start. So i did it this week. Also i kind of eat now. Like 'listen to my heartc typa eat. Like not apples and almonds and tea all day! So i also need to work out and so i decided this week i was going to focus on arranging my room, washing my scarves and all and my shoes and stuff and working out and eating and chilling. So well im not really done with it but its going ok. Also the reason i feel like vacation's almost over is because i finally came to know which 'rotation' i am going to start with in 4th year! So its like normally in 4th year there are 4 rotations. Surgery, Pediatrics, Internal Medicine and OB Gyne. So the females get the first 2 rotations that i mentioned above in semester 1 and the males get the last two. And in semester 2 females get last two and vice versa! Now within females/ males - you divide into 2 large groups. So 2 female groups - one starts semester 1 with surgery the other starts with peds. And similarly for males. So the whole batch is divided into 4 larges groups and at any time of the year all the 4 rotations are going on with different groups. Now lets talk about any ¼ group. So in that one group, theres roughly around 50 girls for example & they will start with lets say ‘surgery’. So now among those 50 girls, theyll need to make smaller groups of 5 members each so like 10 small groups of surgery. And now this 5 girls will be together for the whole rotation in the hospital. They go to see patients together. They meet the doctor together and everything. Only once a week there is ‘academic day’ on any specific day depending on your rotation and on that day all the 50 girls will have class at uni and like its a long day usually till 5 with many lectures by doctors. Aha so to summarize, that's how it all works! Now the thing is. People have preference. Like which rotation do you want to start with? Surgery or Peds? Haha Also, the thing is you dont get to decide! You just randomly form two big groups of equal number of girls and then they will assign a rotation randomly! But then people have preferences! Like some wants to start with surgery & some with peds. Now both has advantages & disadvantages! Surgery - ok this is hard! Its a fact, not my opinion! And it doesnt just end there! The doctors who teach surgery well let me rephrase..The “surgeons”! Well they're “surgeons” so they kind of expect you to know how everything works in the hospital right from Day 1 & they are less friendly, they teach less and expect you to know more! But if surgery is your 1st block how will you possibly know how things go in the hospital! So yeah you need to be alert always! Ok but the good side to starting with surgery is that since youre starting with it right after vacation youre all energetic and motivated and all and you can give it the attention and energy it really demands! But with time you seriously feel less motivated and its harder to study for uni! Well that is no excuse to slack off but then yeah in order to not slack off you need to work harder and harder! So thats the thing! Surgery is just easier to handle if started first but then the surgeons are the problem! Now peds. So yeah the things goods & bads of peds is the opposite of surgery! The doctors are extremely friendly and they teach but but peds is boring. Infact i personally hate peds and obgyne! So yeah! Now at first i wished i start with surgery but then with time I wanted peds. Cause like I really want to work hard for each and every block and so the timing of the rotation shouldnt matter! Whenever whatever comes, i have to face it and ace it! Simple as that. So if i start with peds I will also be able to start with friendly doctors and will have enough time to get to know how things work in the hospital rather than having surgeons who expect you to know everything on day 1! BUT BUT thats just my preference which switch from surgery to peds and anyways final say is not in my hands AND TO ADD TO THAT, more than what i preferred, i honestly left it more to Allah to give me whatever He thought was best for me. So like id say peds sounds good, but then I wouldnt like baaaaaadly want it and all like id be fine with either because im praying to Him to take care of it and help me through the entire path! Aha. So I got surgery! And i didnt feel bad even for a second. I mean. Oh surgery? Ok yeah cmon show me what you got!!!!!! :3 haha So yeah cause like now ik ill be starting eith surgery and then later peds. And like i mean just imagine like vacation started end of May and since then until beginning of this week youre completely clueless wth youll start the next year with and all is kinda confusing and then you finally know youll start with surgery. OHHHH! HOW COULD I MISSS THIS OUT. Like SURGERY!!! You GET IT????? Surgerys the REAL DEAL. i mean surgery is my thing. I never joined med school thinking ill be a ‘doctor’! I entered med school thinking ill be a ‘surgeon’ inshaAllah. AND it has never changed! So yeah! Now i never said it i think, but, i chose medicine because IN MY OPINION this is the most realistic way in which you are doing something for humanity which ultimately contributes to your religion i.e. to Allah and therefore for your own self for the Hereafter. I am aware that there are a zillion other ways to do so but i think this is number one on the list. Or if not 1 at least in the top 10! Now it doesnt end there. So first, i chose “medicine” for this reason. Now, yeah it doesnt end there. I want to be ‘involved enough’ in doing the job that i need to use to -use my own hands- to do so!!!! And thats nothing but surgery! Yeah! Thats basically what im about :):):) Aha okay so i started typing and then i keep talking talking talking and now idk what i wna say. Im all over the place looool Okayyy i need to go now! Just one thing i missed oh! Him. There's SO much of emotions stuck in me. SO Strong.. I dont think I have ever felt for him, or can ever feel for him AS MUCH AS I feel for him right now.. ❤

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marshmallow-the-vampire-slayer · 7 years

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MTVS Epic Rewatch #155

VM 3x04 Charlie Don’t Surf

1) Let’s be real, this episode is kind of a drag, and it’s only worth a watch for all the Logan angsty feels okay? Because of that, this should be ranty.

VERONICA: This is a bad idea. KEITH: No, it's not. VERONICA: You only thinks it's not 'cause you came up with it. KEITH: Ergo, how could it be bad? Math, sweetie. Me plus idea equals good.

Hm, what could this “idea” they’re talking about be...?

FYI, Logan is never a bad idea, okay?

3) Veronica is totally freaking out, and tbh, we can’t blame her considering one of the last times Keith and Logan were at the Mars’ home together this happened...

Keith certainly wasn’t - and to this day kind of isn’t - a member of the Logan Echolls Fan Club (I’ll get to the Keith/Logan stuff later) but Veronica had been dating Logan for a few months now, they were going steady, and didn’t Veronica want the two leading men in her life to get together and get along? Oh right. I totally forgot about Veronica’s need to compartmentalize. Never mind.

Anyway, it’s so cute to watch her freaking out and then to watch Logan tease her a bit...

LOGAN: Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.

...but then he sincerely reassures her...

LOGAN: Veronica? I won't say anything bad.

And not only does this calm her down, but it also makes her hold her hand out to him (a striking parallel to Logan holding his hand out to her when arriving at his house in A Trip to the Dentist...) in a “we’re doing this together, we’re a team” sort of way. I’m here for this shit, Rob Thomas. 100% in.

Also, this whole scene is a nice reversal of the “meet the parents” typical scene. It’s usually the person meeting their significant other’s parent the one on freak-out mode, not the other way around. But it makes sense that Logan is the collected one here (although I’m 100% he wasn’t all that collected on the inside...). Logan might be a jackass occasionally, and he certainly was a smartass to Keith on more than one occasion. But he’s not stupid. And more importantly, he loves Veronica and he knows how important her dad is to her, so he’s certainly not going to do anything to ruin the evening for either of them. At least, not on purpose...

4) Of course, that reassurance didn’t last long...

Keith was rather amicable - though not exactly friendly or warm - and he was asking the standard “father-meets-boyfriend” questions. The thing is, Keith and Logan have a shared history. He wasn’t really meeting his daughter’s “new” boyfriend. Keith had had an idea of Logan built in his head for years now, some of it based on fact, some of it based on prejudice and a definite transfer of guilt because of Aaron’s actions. It’s both OOC and IC for Keith, though. On the one hand, I don’t think we ever see him hold on to his preconceived notions of a person as hard as he does regarding his perception of Logan. On the other hand, it kind of makes sense that he’s always on guard regarding Logan because he can tell how much Veronica cares for him, and therefore he understands that Logan - knowingly or not - has the power to hurt Veronica like nobody else. Oddly enough, he seems to believe Veronica is blind to Logan’s flaws, while Veronica - just like Keith - holds Logan to higher standards than any other of her boyfriends. Like father, like daughter, I guess.

So yeah, Keith is amicable enough, and he’s not really asking any tough questions. And even though Veronica seems to be overreacting at first, I get it. Because there’s something in the way Keith regards Logan and the tone of his voice that is kind of telling you he’s setting Logan up to take the bait and prove how much of a screwup he is and how wrong he is for Veronica.

Regardless, Logan was doing quite well. He was answering Keith’s questions sincerely and respectfully while still being Logan.

VERONICA: Where is this going? KEITH: My end game is to find out what classes Logan is taking. LOGAN: Just core stuff, you know, sociology, freshman comp. Mass com, which is kinda coming in handy. You know, apparently being the offspring of a murderer doesn't get old. I'm getting all these interview requests. Larry King wants me to come on with O.J.'s kids. KEITH: Oh, you thinking about it? LOGAN: No. KEITH: Why's that?

5) We all die a little bit inside as Logan looks back and forth between Keith and Veronica when they’re lovingly bantering right? I mean, he’s so happy to see the two of them interact in that way because that’s exactly the kind of relationship he wished he’d had with his parents or with any family member, which is the whole point of this episode. Correction. It’s one of Logan’s traits as a character. Throughout the series and the movie, Logan is desperately looking for familial relationships, for that kind of love. It’s really sad, actually. Here’s this boy who is always wearing his heart on his sleeve for the world to see, who falls for the mildest show of affection because he’s so desperate to be loved, and time and again he’s deceived and used. But that doesn’t deter him. (I think that’s why he held on to Carrie, she was the closest thing to family he ever had. So, can Logan have a family, please? Outside of Veronica, I mean.)

Anyway, a lot of feels about this whole opening scene, okay?

6) It’s nice to see Veronica trying to mend fences with Parker. At first, I thought Parker’s beef with Veronica was a bit exaggerated. But then again, Parker didn’t know who had raped her but she still needed someone to blame, which is totally valid even if her blame was misplaced on Veronica. Anyway, it’s good to see Veronica opening up about her past and to promise Parker she wants to help her. More of this, always.

7) “Do you remember me by any chance?”

Uh, duh? Raise your hand if you watched “Just Shoot Me” and shipped these two...

8) Dick going to Veronica’s is priceless...

EITH: Can I help you? DICK: Do you know which one of these is Veronica's? Oh, guess so. This is so freaky. I've totally been to this complex before. We had to pick up our maid here once. Is Veronica home? KEITH: Honey? DICK: Ah, it's like a little kitchen area, huh? Oh, it's so awesome. VERONICA: If you're not gonna shoo it out with a newspaper, I'm stepping on it. DICK: Hey, buddy. Hope it's not weird me just showing up. I can't believe I've known you forever and you've never had me over. VERONICA: You left a flaming bag of dog poo in front of our door one time. That was kind of a play date.

9) See? This is the kind of thing that bothers me... if you’re going to have a character have her head shaved, then you gotta have her be bald and/or wear a wig. A decent wig, if possible. After all, she’s out wearing it. But man did they give up quickly on the wig thing...

Beginning of 3x02

End of 3x02

Beginning of 3x04

Clearly, that’s Julie’s hair, but at least they kind of made it look like a wig? A super real wig? Very unlike the one she was previously wearing?

Middle of 3x04

All pretense is dropped and Parker looks as if her head had never been shaved at all?

10) I do love the lobster anecdote Keith told Harmony, but I also get Veronica’s reaction: why does this woman I’ve just met know this very personal anecdote about me that barely anyone knows about? Of course, she knows why.

HARMONY: Veronica, the liberator of lobsters? LOGAN: Awe, I never knew. VERONICA: A single lobster, once, from the Chart House when I was seven. He tells that one to all the new clients.

I deeply enjoy Logan’s reactions throughout this whole exchange...

11) So I get that this exchange and Dick’s shady attitude and reply...

VERONICA: What happened to your hand?

DICK: Window fell on it. Whatever. (...)

VERONICA: Logan said you showed up at his place the night of Parker's rape, all wrecked, saying you screwed up.

...were in order to set up Dick as a suspect, but tbh who really bought Dick as a red herring this season? I mean, what were the odds of a second Casablancas being the season’s Big Bad? That would’ve been lazy writing. At the same time, if Dick hadn’t been set up as a red herring at the beginning of the season, there really wouldn’t have any purpose for him in the show...

12)

VERONICA: I need to talk to you. I followed the trust money all the way down the rabbit hole. The payments are going to a person named Charlie Stone. Do you know who that is? LOGAN: No, should I? VERONICA: Yeah, probably. Charlie Stone is your brother.

13)

VERONICA: Here's his number.

LOGAN: Yeah, and what am I supposed to do?

He didn’t even think about it, he was that desperate for some sort of family connection. Poor baby.

14)

NANCY: They set up this boo room so they could fondle girls as they went through. So, we dressed up as rats and strategically put rat traps on all of our gropable parts.

15) Disclaimer: I’m this guy.

16) And then, “Charlie”...

Gotta hand it to him, though, he did his job well. I mean, he knew exactly how to get to Logan, he read him really well and he knew what kind of things to say to make him open up. So he’s a douchebag, but a smart douchebag.

It’s really sad, though, that Logan falls so easily for his act.

LOGAN: You surf? CHARLIE: As often and as long as I can. LOGAN: Man, we are brothers.

17)

VERONICA VOICEOVER: I have options. I could be excited for Logan. Thrilled even that his new brother is such a keeper. Or, I can be me.

Don’t hate me for what I’m about to say, but... I think on some level Veronica was happy she was right. There’s something about the way she decides to let Norman know she caught him that makes me wonder if she ever considered Logan’s feelings when confronting him. Like, she was reveling in confronting Norman and uncovering his true identity, showing off how smart she was (or how much smarter than him she was...) Regardless of how it would affect Logan, she loves being right, and the P.I. in her was telling her something was off about this Charlie guy, so she followed her instinct. Now, I’m not saying she wouldn’t have felt relieved if she had been wrong. But a part of her would’ve been disappointed her instincts failed her. Does this make any sense?

18) Of course, just before everything goes to shit, we get this scene...

LOGAN: So, it's Christmas, right? The entire family unit is around... Which was rare. And I'm, I don't know, I'm nine and Aaron hands me a gift, but he notices the box has been re-wrapped, you know, so he knows I peeked. I'm nine years old; he's re-gifting me a fruit basket. He starts shouting about how I've ruined Christmas. CHARLIE: Oh, my God. LOGAN: Yeah. And he, uh, he tells me I'm not opening another gift until I eat all twelve pears in the box. CHARLIE: Damn, man, the scissors incident, the drained swimming pool episode, now the box of pears. LOGAN: Yeah. So, I'm eating the pears and taking my time, taking these dainty bites...the man comes unhinged. Takes these pears and just starts shoving them down my throat one after another. And then...and I'm choking but he doesn't stop until my mom holds a cheese knife to his throat. To this day, I puke if I smell a pear.

In a couple of days, Logan had opened up to “Charlie” about his entire history of abuse by his dad. Like, this is the most private thing about Logan, and he’s completely honest about everything, probably more honest than he’s ever been with anyone before - Veronica included. And we get to hear this, and we’ve seen some things before and heard comments about others (just like here we hear about the scissors incident and the drained swimming pool episode, both of which I’m equally interested and not interested in learning about...) but it’s like seeing the tip of an iceberg of shit (a shitberg?), you know? There’s so much more shit below it, and we will never really know everything about Logan’s childhood.

Also, this sort of explaines why we always see Logan eating apples, right?

19) Of course, after their heart-to-heart, there’s a tiny blonde waiting to rain on their parade...

VERONICA: Hi, Logan. Hi, Norman Phipps.

LOGAN: What did you call him?

VERONICA: His name. Norman Phipps. At least, that's the name of the guy who rented his rental car and a quick google check reveals that Norman Phipps is a contributor to Vanity Fair. Thank God for mobile wireless, huh? So, Norman, how's your story coming.

NORMAN: It's great. In fact, I'm almost there. Just one thing, Logan. That fruit basket? Was it from Harry and David? God is in the details. Ah, please take a swing. It'd make a great lead.

Btw, Logan punching Norman in the face is twice as rewarding for me because I hated Gilmore Girls’ Logan. #notsorry

20) And then this...

VERONICA: I'm so sorry. I should've just left it alone.

A) What does she mean by that, though? That she shouldn’t have followed the money trail and found out about Logan having a brother? Or that she shouldn’t have continued digging after Logan met “Charlie”? B) There’s something about the way he looks at her as if he doesn’t truly believe she’s sorry? Or as if this is a very Veronica thing to do? Both, probably.

21) I can’t help but find this speech about “looking for the truth” a bit ironic coming from Veronica herself...

VERONICA: I was looking for the truth and I found it. You wanna nail someone to the wall, just to have someone nailed there, or do you want the person responsible to pay?

I mean, ultimately, yes, Veronica does look for the truth. But she also makes the mistake, on numerous occasions, of nailing someone to the wall just to have someone nailed there. I would love to say this is Veronica growing up and learning from her mistakes, but I think the rest of this season will prove otherwise, so...

22) He literally had just met the guy and he gave him his grandfather's watch? Like, we know how much his grandpa meant to Logan (remember the lighter?). It breaks my heart that he was so gullible...

LOGAN: I was hoping you could bust some of it out again and help me find Norman Phipps.

VERONICA: Why?

LOGAN: Well, I gave him a pocket watch that belonged to my grandfather, the only decent member of my family. 'Course, he died when I was five, so who knows. Still, kinda burns thinking of Norman having it.

23) I’m fine, I’m fine...

VERONICA: The reporter acted alone. He was tapping Charlie's line when you called. Your real half-brother is innocent.

LOGAN: And I was so quick to believe that guy. And, you know, I look at you and your dad, you know, that thing that you have. I never had that.

VERONICA: You couldn't have known.

LOGAN: No, I'm sure that won't matter to him.

24) And of course, Logan being Logan, he has to try again...

ANSWER MACHINE: Hi, this is Charlie. Please leave a message. LOGAN: Hey, Charlie, it's Logan again. Uh. Listen, I'm sorry about all the messages... Yeah, I guess I thought I'd give it another shot. Fourth time's a charm, right?

#Veronica Mars #VM #Kristen Bell #Matt Czuchry #Logan Echolls #Charlie Stone #MTVSepicrewatch #VMrewatch2015 #Charlie Don't Surf #recap #vmrecap

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