i love how fraught and complicated discourse around various utena characters ‘dying’ is when anthy is literally stabbed to death eternally by a million swords imbued with human hatred. and then utena gets stabbed to death by them also. like. ‘death’ is incredibly interesting in rgu because most of the time it’s this ambiguous figurative thing that has interesting implications re: ohtori as a closed-off world one can escape. we are all trapped in our coffins. mamiya is the only named character with a grave. nemuro memorial hall functions as one all the same. ruka is implied to have died in the hospital— was he dead all along? who was the boy we saw for these two episodes? is this dead boy the same boy, or is this just another coincidence from the shadow girls, cutting like a knife? it’s heavily implied that akio and anthy murder kanae by poisoning her, adding to the previous implication that they were poisoning mr ohtori too, but there are no perceptible consequences of this. kanae’s absence is not felt. she’s fed an apple slice. what happens to the bodies? we know what happened to the 100 boys, but what about everyone else? and so on and so forth. ‘death’ is a tricky thing in utena, i think it’s constantly functioning on figurative and literal levels in very different ways for very different purposes. dios died. dios was dying. dios didn’t die. he grew up. etc etc
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I miss home.
I miss all the neighbors leaving their porch lights on and I miss the red maple tree that I fell out of one time and I miss the squirrels with black fur and I miss the dogs I knew by name and I miss the moss in the yard and I miss the way the plants looked and I miss the forest and I miss the bluebells and I miss the river and I miss the library and I miss the kind librarians we would give cookies to and I miss the cracked sidewalks that I would race down with my dog and my brother and I miss the deer and I miss the owls and I miss the way the street signs looked and I miss how everything felt so close and I miss home. I miss living somewhere that felt like home.
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now you might be thinking hey casey don’t you find it odd that ted lasso wrapped up half its arcs in one rapid-fire epiphany montage? and that despite the increased runtime, so many important moments informing character arc happen offscreen in a way that feels more lazy than artful? and yes. yes i do find it odd. ok moving along
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Maybe this doesn’t need to be said, but Im feeling awful about it, so -- to any mutuals that might notice Im not following them anymore, I'm sorry about that. I've just seen too many posts on my dash that I have no way of blocking because they're not tagged in any way and they're distressing enough it's turning one of the only places I considered a safe space not safe for me anymore. So for my own mental health, I had to unfollow. I Will refollow in the future and I still love y'all, but I just-- I can’t. Ive been noticing some very worrying stuff about my mental and emotional state and it's just too much currently. I hope it's at least an understandable decision, and I wish y'all are having a good day out there 💗
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Idk hot take for a Saturday morning, but maybe people shouldn’t be SO quick to switch to a mentality of: “well I’m not voting at all” about American politics in regards to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict/genocide just bc America has had its dick in those affairs LONG BEFORE fucking Biden Presidecy and people are seemingly just NOW feeling publically vocally outraged about it bc it’s in the forefront news (as you should be), but maybe also let’s use our fucking brains for a moment if you are American:
we should, and can easily, also still focus on that which is in our own backyard, if you don’t vote fucking blue, because green/third parties are not actually viable in the deeply established two party system we have had for CENTURIES, we get fucking DeSantis or some other horrible Fascist Republican and then America is going to have its own genocide against LGBTQ+ people, fascism goes up, continued attacks against drag/immigrants/etc.
You also know damn well that any Republican, If one were president, would be doing the same fucking thing of providing aid to Israel, so I guess personally I’m just confused as to why everyone is surprised biden is doing the same.
You can and should support a free Palestine, and hold contempt for Israel and condemn their actions, AND also know that voting blue is Americas literal only chancE RIGHT CURRENTLY NOW this upcoming year, to remain somewhat of a democracy instead of a ChristoFascist regime, especially with Biden being one of the ONLY blue candidates like… our hands are TIED
Like YEAH it’s gonna fucking suck to vote for Biden but like you also gotta fucking Buck up sometimes and do things you don’t particularly WANT to do. It’s called duality and compromising in life and sometimes it’s fucking unavoidable.
But idk what the fuck do I know 🤪 I’m just a girl who thinks maybe you shouldn’t just fucking give up one of your only recognized rights in America just because some actions you can’t control from a crusty old moderate blue white man in a country whose affairs are more complicated than your messiest situationship is upsetting (rightfully so, I might add) you
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oh yes you were at court! i forgot that was at the start of that post lmao. i've been to court twice when i was super young for drinking underage and then smoking lool it was so boring and long and shit but thankfully you were just there for moral support, i hope it wasen't such a bad thing your friend had to deal with! I remember seeing you post about moving but i forget if it was TO or AWAY from your parents but that clears it up. I totally get you on that though, i'm living at home right now and i feel kind of similar about not feeling comfortable in your own home. Its a bit different for me, but similar enough. Hell my stepdad even sleeps in the living room too! hes always done that so ive always felt like i had to be on eggshells when night time hit. I used to sneak smoking in the backyard back in the day myself, i got caught once when i was in highschool he made me throw all my pieces out which sucked big time. ahhh i love that, art! you should totally show more stuff on here too, at least if you're comfortable and its not stuff you'd wanna sell, i would absolutely love to see any of it 🖤i've dabbled in writing poems and things i planned to make songs, although only recently. I've always wanted to be a musician but my attempts at learning guitar over the years have never ended up lasting long and i try to learn singing but i just dont really think i can. plus i was always afraid of self expression so i never wrote until a few years ago. i still do, because music is so important to me (which is why i did pick 🎤!) and it makes me so happy but yeah. i have 2 shows im headed to in a few months even so im so excited 🥰my day though has been so boring, i mostly played video games and watched youtube videos. watched another episode of a show i've been watching called Silo, which i absolutely love. im so surprised you had room in your tags still after myself lmao, but i do that same thing i always talk in the tags! also i'm giving you tons of hugs and kisses 😘🥰
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Hi hi hi ☺️ how are you doing lovely? 🥰
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