#not the brightest crayon in the box

[kakashihasibs]

Minato was not what I'd call an intellectual

[yugiohmangaoutofcontext]

why are they shocked?? yami marik literally said at the beginning of the duel that it was a shadow game

i understand why normal marik wouldn't know that yami marik said that, but like. jounouchi. we gotta get you some adderall or something dude...

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Posting is back on the menu, boys. As of tomorrow. Here's a sneak peak at chapter 17: Gods.

[quotergirl19]

Colin: My love, I have decided I’m going to start my own anonymous gossip column. I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking of the perfect nom de plume so nobody knows it’s me. What do you think of Bolin Cridgerton?

Penelope: It took you weeks to think of that pen name?

Colin: My name isn’t Penelope, so it cannot be called a pen name. Obviously for me, it’s a nom de plume.

Penelope: You’re so pretty.

Colin: I believe the word you were looking for is handsome.

Penelope: Of course, how silly of me Colin. Or should I say Bolin?

Colin: Keep your voice down or the servants will hear and know that it’s me.

[buttercupbuck]

OKAY also if i sound dumb or if it’s like….literally duh, ignore me but PERFORMANCE anxiety?? PERFORMANCE…..as in A performance?? YK???? as in maybe trying to perform for his date(s) and pretend like he’s not already in love with someone else??

[aapothic]

@thissquirrelgirl: x

“What, so Essex can stick more needles in me and watch whatever this is progress? I’d prefer not that, please.” She looked down at her arm with more annoyance than worry. “Can’t you, like, suck out the poison or whatever it is? Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?”

[hahskeleton]

I was just drawing and my cat came along and sat right on top of my screen

[mushtoons]

You've got a very versatile art style that communicates your sentiment while still being fulfilling to look at

SHDJDJDK THANK U JUST 💖💖💖💖

[ofgodsandllamas]

And because I mean it when I say I’m on a roll this is River and I LOOOOOOOVE him

You know that guy in your class shows up 10 minutes before the bell and asks you please pretty, pretty please can he copy a couple of your answers off yesterday’s homework and promises to pay you in the poptart he just dug out of his backpack and flashes you the sweetest :DDD and you can’t help but give in because he’s just SOOOO nice and DUMB AS ROCKS and you don’t know how he keeps getting passed on to the next grade but you want him to at least get a C-

Yeah

yeah that’s him 

[hearttransylvaniaa]

 @oblivionlotus​​  /  continued ask.

 She's still processing what the fuck just happened. Phone long forgotten and stream ended,Scout Carver just stood there with her mouth agape as she stared at whatever was in front of her. She still wasn't sure,but she was scared - admittedly,she would never say that out loud to them,but she was sure they could smell the fear off of her weather she wanted to admit it or not to herself or them. 

 She thought for sure what she’d said just now would piss them off and she’d be done for right there and then,with no chance of survival or even attempting to flee from them,but she still stood - alive,heart beat going a mile a minute and practically jumping out of her chest but she tried to keep her cool,mouth opening to speak once again -  habit of her mouth getting her ass into trouble and here she was with something that should be in fairy tales standing before her but that didn’t stop her mouth apparently. 

 ❛ Is it what you would expect from someone you just scared the piss out of to say ? ❜She asked,head tilting as if to further examine them and just how off they had looked,she did a circle around them with grey blue hues still wide with fear,wonder and confusion but she still didn’t want to die there so she played her cards wisely. Maybe they were as curious to her as she was of them. Another unwise form of words bubbled in her throat before she could stop herself.  

 ❛ You look....almost normal. But I don’t think that’s the case here. I mean,you honestly look like you want to eat me right here,right now. Do you uh,normally talk to your food before you eat them ? ❜

[sunflowerius]

crying cause my sister just burst into my room and asked me if i knew an artist called 'canon gay'

nearly twenty minutes of vague humming and confusion later i find out she meant CONAN GRAY IM -

[ibswarriors2nd]

Self proclaimed “antifascists” on tumblr are really not fooling anyone. Like no none of you are gonna [redact] anybody. You can’t even go outside.

[technicolorxsn]

trying to decide which ones dumber

[bunnyhugs77]

Honey I'm Home

୨୧- Just a little slice of life of a hard working dad, his tired wife and their twin girls.

୨୧ WC: 900

Jungkook pushes open the door to your small two-bedroom flat, his keys jingling in the door which attracted the two little girls on the other side to come running instantly.

The soft patter of their socked feet hitting the wooden floors as they rushed to his as fast as they could. "Daddy!" The girls squealed. Jungkook crouched down, his once drained expression replaced with one full of delight.

"Girls!" He exclaims, taking the both of them in each of his arms, listening to their adorable laughter as he engulfed them into his tight embrace. "Daddy! Can't breathe!" Aria squeaks from where her head rested against his chest. Always the dramatic one of the two.

Jungkook laughs, apologizing and letting them go. Aria runs back to the kitchen where he could only assume the source of that flavourful scent was coming from. Meanwhile Hye-Ji stayed back to show him the flowers she'd picked just for him.

"Are these for me?" Bending at the waist to collect the crushed dandelions that were once in the grip of her fist. She nods with the brightest smile he's ever seen.

Picking her up as well, letting her rest on his side with one hand, careful not to ruffle the very elaborate princess dress she was wearing as he finally begins to make his way to the kitchen. "Thank you so much princess, I'll make sure to add this to my collection." He places a kiss to the crown of her head.

There you were. His eyes seemed to soften once they landed on you. In a button up and your favourite pair of mom jeans." Hi baby," He gets the chance to peck your lips briefly before Hye-Ji was asking to be put down.

She quickly ran off to her sister in the living room where there were colouring pages ripped out, building blocks all over the place, a box of crayons in the laundry bin full of clothes that were waiting to be folded.

"Hi." You manage a smile before resuming your blank stare into the pot of tomato sauce for the spaghetti that you'd been stirring for god knows how long. "Is everything okay?" Disregarding your mundane 'yeah' he know something is up.

"Honey, what's wrong? Talk to me." You sigh, dropping your shoulders, finally looking at him. He was in his typical work-wear for his day job as a private banker meanwhile he works part-time nights as a mail courier.

"Today was a bad day." Letting your head fall into your husband's firm chest in defeat. His hands raised to hold you in his arms the same way the have been for the last 5 years.

The shiny silver band of his wedding ring catching the light for a moment as he gently rubbed your back. "You wanna talk about it?"

You pout softly, "There's nothing to say, look at the state of the house. Hye-Ji turned the house upside down looking for her dress this morning. Then I took them to the grocery store and Aria got lost." Jungkook's eyebrows raise, but you weren't done.

"I finally got them to sleep for an hour while I did some laundry, and then I ended up falling asleep myself, waking up to crayons and toys everywhere, and Hye-Ji was crying because she missed you and then I started crying because I missed you too and-"

You couldn't believe this was making you tear up. The day was hectic and the fact you'd have to do it all over again tomorrow. Jungkook hushes you in a comforting manner, practically swaddling you in his arms. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here," you sniffle, stepping back.

"It's not your fault. You work two jobs. it's just hard sometimes." You admit and Jungkook gets an idea. "Go." He says and your brow arches, "I'll finish dinner, and take care of the girls. Go rest, or read that Jasper Wilde book you've been wanting to read. Please. Let me help, you deserve it." He pecks your forehead and you weren't going to fight him on it.

Leaving the kitchen and the responsibilities to him. Telling yourself that it would only be a thirty minute nap but it turned into 2 hours. By the time you walked back into the kitchen, it looked like you'd walked into a whole new house.

Everything was neat and tidy, the girls were sitting on the ground with a bowl of abandoned grapes shared between them as they watched Moana with an entranced gaze.

The laundry basket was gone, the floors were clean and the air smelled of soft fresh linens and cinnamon. Looking back to the kitchen where Jungkook quietly tidied up, humming softly to himself. You stood hidden from where you were admiring your little family.

You may not have had much but you had everything you needed right here. "You're amazing you know that?" Jungkook says as you approached him. "I should be saying that to you." You counter.

"No. I mean it, Y/n. Having two jobs is easy, but doing what you do everyday is a job for a saint. I appreciate everything you do for us, I love you so much." His lips pressing against your forehead while your heart felt so full of love. "I love you." You say.

"I have to potty!" Aria declares and the both of you look at each other.

"Not it."

"Not it."

[mossyivy]

The Prettiest Fairy Princess

ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ʜᴏɴᴇꜱᴛʟʏ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴅᴏᴍᴇꜱᴛɪᴄ ʟᴇᴏɴ ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ. ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴍʏꜱᴇʟꜰ.

"C'mon mommy!" Your little girl drags you to the living room, just having finished set up a "stage", 2 dining room chairs, an old pink sheet and construction paper with a background of a castle on a hill drawn in markers and crayons taped just above the sheet. It's for one of her performances she likes putting on now and again after writing her funny little stories.

Soon you're sat in the middle of the couch between her stuffed animals. Strawbeary, her large pink bear, to your right and her Bluey toy to your left. Soon a folded pieces of paper is put into the audiences hands, a crudely drawing fairy with a crown on it's head and a jumbled mess of 'The Fairy Princess' in sparkly gel pen. With enough glitter glue around the edges to choke someone to death.

"What's this?" You ask, your little one turning, now wearing what looks like mascara as a fake mustache. That old makeup you gave her really made her plays costume department thrive by the looks of it.

"It's a paybill!" She happily squeals, handing Bluey her paper.

"Playbill." You hear your husband correct her from the other room, you look into the hall wondering why he isn't being subjected to the audience like usual.

"A playbill!" She corrects herself, looking at you then back to the stage. Walking over she pushing her box of toys behind the curtain and grabs her fathers work jacket from the armchair near by. Putting it on and pushing the sleeves up to her little elbows as it swallows her. Crawling back behind the curtain her arm comes up, using Leon's flashlight and flicking it.

That's usually intermission... but God she really thought of everything.

Soon the room is filled with the sound of her ballet practice music from her room.

Ahhh, Leon must be a stage technician this time.

You hear your little one clear her throat, her tiny hand peaking above the sheet with a stuffed bunny in her hand.

"There once was a family of fairies that ruled a kingdom!" The bunny bounces slightly, fluffy ears wiggling as he's tousled around, her voice stretching with exaggeration. "In a kingdom of magical creatures! All happily living their lives as they could."

The bunny disappears, a Ken doll on a flip flop with a cotton ball pillow and tissue blanket appearing.

"But sadly, not everyone in the kingdom was doing well. The king was sick and the next heir needed to take the throne quickly before the king died. Because every marriage in the kingdom needed a royals blessing." Ken gets dropped to the floor with a clatter as the bunny appears again, the smile on your face only growing wider. Stifling a laugh as she continues.

"But there was a problem. No one in the kingdom wanted to marry the princess in line for the throne because she was different than any of the other fairy princesses..." Silence falls over the room for a few seconds. You hear shuffling, your daughters head poking out from behind the curtain towards the hall.

"Daddy, that's where you come in!" She harshly whispers before moving back into place.

"Sorry!" Settling in she repeats her line again.

"But there was a problem. No one in the kingdom wanted to marry the princess in line for the throne because she was different than any of the other fairy princesses."

You hear foot steps as your attention turns to the hall doorway as your husband steps through. You swallow your bottom lip, covering your mouth with your hand as you lean on your knees.

"oh my god..."

There Leon stood, your daughters bright white fairy wings on his back, straps stretched out way too far on him, the brightest pink lipstick you use to own smeared across his mouth and her princess tiara from a tea set she was given as a gift on his head. You desperately want to laugh at him but you can't. It would upset your daughter or worse... Make her cry.

You don't want to make your daughter cry.

"She was too tall for the other fairies to want to marry her!" You pull your hand from your mouth, gaining your control again. You mouth an 'I love you ' to Leon as he crosses his arms, not irritated but unamused, making the straps somehow stretch more against his shoulders. Your attention turns back to the bunny narrating the play.

"So the princess was sad and everyday she'd go to the pond not far from her castle. And sit with her only friend." The bunny dips down, being replaced by a frog plush, starting to bounce as your daughter spoke.

"Oh princess, why are you so sad?" Leon turns towards the frog, trying to put on his most delicate voice possible.

"No one wants to marry me frog. I just want someone to love me and... Help me protect my kingdom!" You let out a tiny giggle at his line stumble. He definitely wouldn't be winning a Tony anytime soon.

"I know what you need!" The frog sways energetically as he looks around. "I know of a place where you can have your wish granted."

The frog disappears and the bunnies back.

"So the fairy princess followed the frogs instructions to a wishing well in the middle of the woods. There she took out a coin, held it tight and threw it into the well while wishing for what she wanted most." Leon fished into his jeans and pulled out what looked like a button, tossing it behind the curtain.

"As she threw the coin a short handsome man came from the trees." Your daughter moves, fixing her fathers jacket back in place as she came to the front of the curtain.

"Who are you?" Says the very pretty fairy princess. Your daughter look up at Leon, face scrunched in what you guessed was supposed to be an angry expression.

"I'm the giant of this forest! What're you doing near my home!? Aren't you the kings daughter?" She asserts her voice to try sounding like a grown man but just ends up sounding like she's choking on something. You can't help but let out a tiny laugh and thankfully she's too busy with line delivery she doesn't seem to notice.

"I am the kings daughter! And you're a giant? But you're so small?" Leon glances down at his daughter, covering his own mouth as he tries keeping composure. She stomps her feet, readying herself to deliver her next line.

"Everyone says that I'm too small! I wish I could be bigger and show everyone home good I am."

"But I think you're perfectly fine the way you are. You're actually very handsome." Leon crouches down to her level, smiling at him as her eyes gleamed.

"And you're very beautiful madam. Would you like to be my wife?" Leon gasps excitedly, playing along with her enthusiasm. He always loved seeing his little girl look so excited.

"I'm not too tall for you?" The giant wraps his arms around the princess, hugging her tightly as he's hoisted into her arms. Leon carries her into the hallway and you raise your hands, about to clap when she rushes back in behind the curtain. Hoisting the bunny up.

"And so the giant and the fairy princess got married. Saving her kingdom and getting her fathers approval. Everyone lived happily ever after until the king died. The End!"

You start clapping as you stand up from the couch, your daughter coming out to take a bow, Leon coming back around the corner. He takes a little bow even before you get to your kids level.

"Honey, that was so good! Thank you for front row seats." She's jumping excitedly and smiles even wider when there's a knock at the door.

"Uncle Chris!" She screams running out of the living room. Leon freezes, staring at you while you stand.

"Chris is here?!" You look at him with a smirk.

"The boys are sleeping over tonight... Did you not remember?" Leon shakes his head starting to make a break for the hall.

"Uh, uh! I already texted Chris and he wants to see his nieces show... I didn't know you were gonna be in it though." You snort, covering your mouth as Leon looks at the hallway mirror and seems himself.

"Oh my God..." He looks mortified, knowing he's never gonna hear the end of this.

"Don't be so upset. At least you're the prettiest fairy princess in the whole house~"

[sourlove]

Kingpin ~ Part III of 'Street Rat' YANDERE BAKUGO KATSUKI

TW: OBSESSION, KIDNAPPING, YANDERE THEMES, MENTIONED GANG ACTIVITIES, MENTIONED MURDER, MENTIONED BLACKMAIL

READ PART 1 HERE

READ PART 2 HERE

(Female reader) (Mild NSFW)

Bakugo Katsuki was a force of nature. When Eijiro met him, Katsuki was an angry scrap of a boy who everyone thought was going to get himself killed with his attitude. But he didn't.

Despite having a rough start in life, he managed to join a small time gang on the outskirts of the city and fought his way, literally and figuratively, to the top. Eijiro was proud to stand next to Katsuki as his best friend and right hand man. He thought he knew everything about the man, from what made him angry (everything) to how he liked his coffee (black, boiling hot). Eijiro did know everything about Katsuki.

Everything, except you.

You were a wildcard nobody expected. When Katsuki ordered an attack on a wedding of all things, nobody questioned him. When he forcefully silenced all the guests in attendance with blackmail, everyone dismissed it as standard procedure. But when he brutally slaughtered the groom and showed up with the bride in his arms, it definitely raised some eyebrows.

From the moment you woke up at their base, you had done nothing but cause trouble. You would throw tantrums, destroy furniture and torment everybody who was unfortunate enough to approach. You were beautiful, sure, but clearly batshit insane and everybody tried to steer clear of you as much as they possibly could.

That's why it was so It was off-putting how nice Katsuki was to you. Eijiro had watched his boss rip out a man's tongue and feed it to his dogs because the man had called him called him weak. Now, you could hurl every insult under the sun at him and Katsuki would pat your head with an indulgent smile. You spoke like everyone was beneath you, sometimes barking out orders to the men who would stop and stare in confusion. Until Katsuki showed up.

"The fuck are you dipshits looking at? Did she fucking stutter?"

It was pretty clear that Katsuki worshipped the ground you walked on. And Eijiro supported that, he really did! Being so unashamedly in love, especially in their line of business, was pretty manly. He only had a real problem with how you treated Katsuki like trash. Even as a rookie on the streets, he was never one to take orders from anyone. But he jumped through flaming hoops to spoil you, just for his gifts to be thrown back in his face.

Literally. That was your favorite form of attack and your favorite victim seemed to be the man who would kill someone for you. Sure there was that little issue of Katsuki actually killing your very new husband, but couldn't you see that he was doing his best to make up for it?

Now, Eijiro wasn't the brightest crayon in the box but even he knew that the relationship between the two of you might not be the healthiest. So as the best bro he had to ask Katsuki, preferably when you weren't there. Though that proved to be very difficult (why did you go everywhere with the man if you couldn't stand him?!), Eijiro managed to slip into Katsuki's office when you went to bed and Katsuki wanted to get some work done.

"Hey Boss! Long time, no see, huh?"

The ashy blonde eyed him suspiciously. "I saw you an hour ago, Shitty Hair. You on drugs?" He turned back to his paperwork with a huff.

Eijiro laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, I mean, sure I always see you, but...you're always with her."

It was only years of being in close proximity with the Kingpin himself, that alerted Eijiro to the fact that he had just acquired a shovel and was about to start digging his own grave. Katsuki calmly dropped his pen and steepled his fingers over the papers he was working on. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

The redhead gulped. "Nothing! There's absolutely nothing wrong with your relationship. Okay, good talk! Bye!" He stood up to escape.

"Sit down."

Eijiro sat down. Katsuki sighed and rubbed his face tiredly. "You know, she's the only reason I'm where I am today."

"...what?"

"Look, Y/N, she-she was the prettiest girl I ever set my eyes on." He reclined into his seat, looking off thoughtfully into the distance. "Everyone wanted her but no one deserved her, not even me." Katsuki chuckled ruefully. "I always thought I had no chance, until she gave me one. And I'm obviously not a fucking idiot so I took it."

Eijiro frowned. "What do you mean by that?"

"Look around, Shitty Hair," he gestured to his office. "Do you think I give a fuck about all this fancy shit? It's all for her. Everything I have, everything I am, is all for Y/N."

"Bro, that's like, romantic but also a bit concerning. Everything you have? That's like...everything!"

Katsuki scowled at him. "Yeah no shit, dumbass. I'm gonna marry that girl."

"Woah, bro," Eijiro sniffled. "You're so manly! I totally respect your decision now, even though everyone said you were as crazy as her!"

"What the fuck did you just say?! Oi, Shitty Hair! Get back here, fucking coward!"

Katsuki growled as the annoying idiot who called himself a friend scurried away. He glanced outside and noted the dark sky, before packing up his remaining paperwork and hurrying out of his office. The few goons that saw Katsuki only received a grunt in return of their greetings before the boss flew off, leaving them wondering where he was rushing to.

Or who he was rushing to. When Katsuki carefully opened the door, you were stretched across the bed, fast asleep. He smiled and quickly took of his clothes, before slipping into bed next to you. While Katsuki enjoyed Y/N at any time, he especially enjoyed you when you was sleeping. Then, he could admire as much as he wanted without any disturbance.

He stroked a finger down your cheek and bit his lip. Once a distant dream, you were so soft and warm laying beside him. Now, he could also touch you as much as he wanted. And this time, you let him.

You woke up to the feeling of Katsuki's stubble scratching you as he mouthed hungrily at your neck. Rough, calloused hands tugged at your nightgown and squeezed your soft flesh.

"Noo, get off" you whined, half-asleep. "Still sore..."

He chuckled lowly. "My bad, baby. I'll be gentle this time."

You pouted as he nipped at your collarbone. "Liar. You're always so mean-ah!" His hands ripped your nightgown down the middle, finally growing impatient, and Katsuki grinned wickedly.

"Hmm, you say that now," he cooed. "But you love it, don'tcha? So be a good girl and spread your legs for me, sweets~"

A/N: This has been requested a lot and shown so much love! Its insane how I only started posting a couple of days ago and I already have so much support. Leave an ask if you want to see some side stories or headcanons!

Please leave a like, comment and reblog if you enjoyed. Go ahead and give yourself a kiss on the cheek for being so amazing xxx

@darious @ssplague @justabratsworld @pinkrose1422 @slayfics