#nothing good ever happens after 12am

[wonijinjin]

in sickness and in health

author’s note: please take care of yourselves everyone! being sick is not fun. dedicating this to my dear @babyleostuff <3

synopsis: when you get food poisoning cheol is ready to sacrifice his night to take care of you.

word count: 1.0k | genre: fluff, comfort | pairing: cheol x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of throwing up, being sick, fever, exhaustion, bad mental health

it was around 12am when you realised something was wrong; you never really got sick, but you could feel it coming before it even happened; head pounding and shivers crawling up and down your spine, making you anxious. after a bit of panicking about why you felt this bad you calmed yourself down and went back to scrolling through social media on your phone, scared of waking and troubling the man next to you. seungcheol was already asleep by that time, being extremely tired from working since 3am, having been to several music show recordings and dance practices. you found him so peaceful as he slept and you were so glad to see him rest after many days of hard work. however as the minutes went by while looking at your phone you could sense an increasing nauseating feeling in your stomach, not being able to focus on the blogpost you were reading anymore, being too occupied with trying to make it stop and squirming under the blankets of your cozy king sized bed to make it more bearable. as if on cue to the peak of your struggles cheol stirred in his sleep next to your helpessly thrashing form, turning to you, his sleepy frame trying to process the cause of your distress. “what’s wrong, my love?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. “don’t worry, nothing. go back to sleep.” you tried to sound as convincing as you could. he didn’t buy it. “love, i know something is up. tell me, please?” he begged, more alert when he saw how your protests were interrupted by a weak sob. “i think i am gonna throw up cheol.” you mumbled with a terrified look on your face, trying to stay perfectly still so your upset stomach could get some relief. seungcheol first thought that you were trying to pull a prank on him since you never got sick, but when he looked at your features closer he realised how pale you looked, and how sweat was glistening on your skin. “you sure? like right now?” he sat up in no time as the question left his mouth, ready to take you to the bathroom to let out whatever was making you feel so miserable. you didn’t have time to answer him whatsoever as you bolted towards the mentioned room, getting to the toilet just in time for the agonising pain and suffering of the next few hours to begin. in your hurry you had a hopeless attempt to lock the door in order to shut cheol out; you hated if he saw you in any other state than your most perfect one, if he saw your imperfections, how you felt unwell sometimes or how you struggled with life from time to time. he always scolded you for thinking this way, but you couldn’t stop it; you wanted to be his strong partner, someone who he could rely on whenever he needed to. “i am coming in.” you heard him say and suddenly you felt a warm hand on your back and another one taking your hair out of your sweaty face, snapping you out of your feverish daze. “i am here, you are okay, love. breathe for me please. that’s it, good. let it all out. don’t worry i am here.” you could hear cheol’s voice through your eardums, blood pumping in your veins with much more speed than ever. seungcheol held you close to him as you spat in the bowl one last time, making sure you were really done before placing you on his lap, your knees no longer hitting the cold tiles of the bathroom, only feeling his warmth surrounding you. “my poor baby.” his voice was low and hurt while he kissed your forehead, frowning upon sensing how your skin burned under his touch. “you are burning up. you definitely have a fever my dear.“ he announced, but you could barely register his voice and words; you were utterly drained, barely able to keep your head up straight.

cheol of course took note of this, gently guiding you to lean into him even more while he got comfortable on the floor, cradling you into his chest. “i know you don’t feel good my love. do you know how did this happen?” he wondered with concern laced in his words. you slightly shifted in his arms, looking up at him. “i think i might have food poisoning, cheol.” he cooed at you, kissing the top of your head, rocking you from side to side as you whimpered in pain. “it’s okay love. it will be over soon i promise.” he chanted softly in an attempt to calm you down as exhaustion took over you, the high temperature making you shake with chills no matter how close seungcheol kept your body to his. “love, you with me?” he questioned after a few minutes of silence, but didn’t get a reply; you fell asleep fast, totally knocked out from the sudden wave of late night sickness. he was relieved to see that your immune system was trying to get that much needed sleep to heal, although he was concerned about the effects of not taking medication before your slumber; he didn’t have the heart to wake you so he let you rest anyways.

he never stopped holding you through the night, not even when he moved you to the bedroom and got a cold towel to put on your head, moving a trash can beside your bed just in case, or when he stayed up all night to watch over your distressed form, wishing that you would get better by the morning, kissing your cheek from time to time to let you know that he was there, that he was gonna take care of you no matter what.

[hearts4hughes]

Can you do one with using “What is it about me that isn't good enough?" and "All I've ever wanted is for you to see me."

regrets | jack hughes

jack hughes x fem! reader

part two

a/n: this was originally a blurb, but everyone wanted a part 2, so i added it to my masterlist :)

warnings: intoxicated reader, toxic relationship, manipulation, swearing

-

stumbling drunk to jack’s door past midnight wasn’t on your agenda today, but it’s happening.

after one two many drinks at a bar down the street from jack’s apartment, old feelings started to arise, once again. jack hughes is your best friend, and also, the love of your life. he gets to fill the slot for two important roles in your life, and he’s screwing up both of them.

countless times jack has invited you over late at night as ‘friends’. stupidly, every time you agree. however, when you get there, he’s all over you. whispering sweet nothings in your ear, peppering kisses over your jaw and neck, and begging you to stay the night. but then the next day comes, and he’s practically throwing you out of the house because he has a date coming over. well, you weren’t going to stand for that anymore, you were going to give him a piece of your mind, even if you had liquid courage.

knocking rapidly on his door, he opens it. “y/n?” his voice doesn’t sound one bit excited. “what are you doing here?”

you lose your balance momentarily, but regain it as jack’s hands protectively position on your sides. “what is it about me that isn’t good enough for you?” you slur.

the question takes him by surprise. “y/n, what are you talking about?” he mutters through gritted teeth.

“oh, now you’re using my name!” you laugh sarcastically. “you aren’t using baby, love, my love, or all the other bullshit you call me when you’re touch deprived at 12am.”

all the blood drains from his face. his mouth hangs open in surprise of what’s happening. “you’re drunk.” he smells the alcohol on your breath.

you roll your eyes. “no i’m not.” you shake your head back and fourth.

“don’t argue with me.” he commands, catching you off guard. “you reek of alcohol. how much did you drink?” his voice grows softer and his hand cups your cheek. you feel yourself melt in his hold. stay strong, y/n. don’t let his nice guy act fool you. is all your drunken thoughts allowed you to think.

before you can speak, a tall blonde girl appears inside jack’s apartment. she wears nothing but a towel. “jack?” she asks.

he whips his head around. “give me one second.” he yells back, looking at you with pity.

“who’s there?” she questions again, her gorgeous blue eyes meet mine.

“i’m his best friend who he only wants at midnight because he’s lonely.” you blurt out. jack’s jaw tightens, and his eyes grow dark.

“huh?” her brows furrow. she was absolutely perfect. just jack’s type- skinny, blonde, petite. of course he chose her over you.

jack closes his front door fully, blocking the girl from the unfolding scene. “let me drive you home.” his voice is calmer, softer, and filled with pity. “please, y/n.”

“i’m fine, jack.” you spat. “all i ever wanted is for you to see me.” you whisper, tears swell in your eyes. “but i guess that’ll never happen.” you remove his hands from your body and begin to walk down the hall, leaving him dumbfounded.

“y/n!” he calls out, regretting every single thing he’s done up to this moment. regretting the blonde in his room, regretting how he’s treated you, regretting not telling you how much he really loved you.

you don’t turn around, not caring how much he yells or screams your name.

he fucked up big time.

[ticklystuff]

Nari's Bakery

a/n: inspo

wc: 901

summary:

nari's bakery

open: 12am - 2am (hours vary)

★★★★★ 5.0 (1 review)

It was one of those nights.

"Nari's Bakery", as Cyno liked to call it. Operating hours usually ran from midnight to two in the morning, depending on when Tighnari the baker, or Tart-nari, as Cyno enjoyed calling him, decided to "awaken". Freshly baked bread often made from, well, whichever of Cyno's body parts Tighnari could get his little hands on.

Today, Cyno's left arm, specifically his bicep, was the main ingredient. Cyno watched as Tighnari sleepily kneaded away at his arm, continuously applying pressure with a rolling motion. Behavior such as this was often mostly associated with felines, though it seemed like Tighnari's half-foxian ancestors managed to adopt similar mannerisms. 

A fond smile crossed his face as Cyno recalled the first night he had met Tart-nari. It was their third night sharing Cyno's tiny dorm room bed back at the Akademiya and one moment, Cyno had fallen asleep cuddling Tighnari in his arms, but the next, he had awoken to Tighnari using Cyno's face to make biscuits, moving his hands across his cheeks and nose, except from Cyno's point of view, without prior knowledge, the whole thing felt very much like his new boyfriend was trying to smother him to death. After panicking did he realize that Tighnari was still unconscious during the whole ordeal, reinforced by the fact Tighnari never seemed to recall his actions the next morning. Even to this day, Tighnari refused to acknowledge Tart-nari's existence, brushing off Cyno's experiences with the baker as fabricated, but that didn't matter to Cyno; he loved both Naris equally.

"Psst, hey, Tighnari," Cyno called out with a whisper; Tighnari never responded to his nickname after all, "hey, watcha making?"

It was often a long shot as to whether Cyno received an answer, but tonight, it seemed like he was in luck. "Lunch.... for Collei....." Tighnari mumbled in his sleep as he continued kneading, a drop of drool falling from the corner of his mouth and landing on Cyno's arm.

Cyno nodded contently as he brushed away the bits of drool from Tighnari's mouth with the side of his finger. Collei was Tart-nari's usual customer, no surprise there. "Anything for Cyno?"

"Cyno...... no...."

Well, guess he was going hungry for the night. Although he wouldn't be able to enjoy the baked goods, there was another perk to Tart-nari that would never happen when Tighnari was around. Rolling over on his side to face the baker, Cyno slowly reached over with his other arm, making sure not to disturb the process, and gently pat the palm of his hand against the tip of Tighnari's ear, before rolling back flat against the mattress. Normally, Cyno would've received an earful from Tighnari for the forbidden deed, but Tart-nari was much more lenient. Cyno watched as Tighnari gave his hands a break to brush at his ear, twitching his nose in half-slumber, before bringing his hands back down to continue kneading.

Except this time, Tighnari's hands found themselves at his stomach.

Cyno's eyes immediately widened at the new source of dough and he shifted under Tighnari's fingers, sucking in his belly in hopes that Tighnari's hands would move someplace else, but they remained where they were.

"No, no, no, Nari, plehease," Cyno gritted through his teeth, feeling Tighnari's fingers start up again, digging and kneading into his stomach like before. He attempted to push his arm underneath Tighnari's hands, hoping to divert the attention back to his bicep, but Tart-nari was insistent, pressing his fingers further into Cyno's stomach to make the best bread possible, of course.

Cyno was.. very ticklish, to best put it, something that Tighnari felt the need to remind him nearly everyday ever since their time together in Akademiya. Surprise attacks to his sides, using his tail to brush along Cyno's back when they stood together, using his ears to get at Cyno's neck during cuddles — nothing was off limits for Tighnari. And now, even while asleep, Tighnari still somehow managed to sneak in tickles; Cyno couldn't catch a break.

"Nari, st- mmphpFFtt," he quickly clamped his hand over his mouth, dampening the squeal that threatened to ring out through the small room. As much as it tickled, the last thing Cyno wanted was to accidentally awaken the other, not because Tighnari would be angry with him or anything, nothing like that at all, but baker Tighnari was just so cute, and if Cyno had to suffer for it, then suffer he shall. 

His body buckled under the other's hold, squirming in place as Tighnari's fingers kneaded and spread the dough each way. Occasionally, a finger would press into Cyno's navel, eliciting a squeak that Cyno didn't know he was capable of. One leg kicked out from under the covers and Cyno's arms gripped into the mattress, remaining resilient for Tighnari's sake, holding out till the biscuits were done and ready.

And finished they finally were once Tighnari slumped forward on both knees, his head hitting the top of Cyno's stomach, butt and tail pointing to the air. Tighnari was still asleep, or at least Cyno presumed, based on the snores that permeated through his shirt, seemingly in-sync with Cyno's own panted breath. With a tired sigh, Cyno took one hand and sleepily ran it through the other's hair, massaging Tighnari's scalp, feeling his ears twitch every now and then.

At the very least, Nari's Bakery was now closed for the night.

[justsayuluvmetn]

Best friend Ever

pairings → switch!taeyong x switch!reader (afab)

warnings   →  18+, masturbation, oral (f and m receiving), use of slut, dirty talk, unprotected sex, etc

word count  → 2.4k

It's currently 9pm, you’re waiting for your best friend to arrive at your apartment for your weekly movie night. To prepare, you’ve set out a bunch of pillows and blankets so that the two of you can get as comfortable as possible. Just as the microwave beeps, indicating the popcorn is done, the door to your apartment swings open.

"Perfect timing." Grinning as you hold up the bags of popcorn.

"I brought other snacks too." Taeyong says as he sets a grocery bag full of your favorite snacks on the coffee table. "Tae, you don't even eat any of these; why’d you only get snacks that I like?" You shuffled through the bag with a frown.

"Well, it’s my turn to pick a movie, and I know you won’t like it, so I wanted to make up for it." If you weren’t going to like it, that could only mean one thing... "Is it a scary movie?" You ask, looking at him with wide eyes as your head slowly tilts to the side. Yeah, he was right; you weren’t going to like it.

"Well, if that’s the case, I’ll need a drink." Walking to the fridge to grab a bottle of soju and some shot glasses. The two of you take a couple of shots, catching up on your week and other things going on in your lives. After a while, you turn the lights off so you can get cozy with all of the pillows and blankets on your couch.

There was about a quarter left of the movie when Taeyong nudged you. "Y/N," he whispered, "Are you awake?" Shifting in the blankets, you pick your head up to nod at him. "Mhm, unfortunately." 

"Come here." Pulling you by the sleeve of your shirt, causing your upper body to fall into him. Your cheeks heat up. You’ve cuddled with Taeyong before, but the butterflies you feel in your stomach are inevitable every time.

"Can you play with my hair?" You asked while trying to look up at him. He’s focused on the movie, but you feel his hand move toward your head. "Your hair smells good today." He says as he softly pets your head. "I used the shampoo you left in my shower, so I hope you think it smells good." You tell him before snuggling more into his chest.

It doesn't take much longer for you to doze off, considering Taeyong has been playing with your hair for the longest time, plus you have no interest in the movie that was playing.

The next morning, you wake up alone in your bed. Lifting yourself up to stretch, you notice it looks like Taeyong slept next to you last night. Smiling, you begin to blush at the thought of Taeyong carrying you upstairs. After freshening up, you head downstairs, immediately being hit with the aroma of your favorite breakfast. Taeyong stands in front of your stove, wearing nothing but the sweats he wore last night. Walking up behind him, you snake your arms around his torso, causing him to jump.

"I thought you were going to sleep forever." Taeyong laughs at you.

"Wha- It's only 9am. When did we go to bed?" You asked, laying your head on his back. Taeyong could stay like this forever, and so could you. "It was around 12am."

"Wow, I haven’t slept that long in a while." You say, your arms slipping off of him as he moves to walk away from the stove.

Taeyong turns around, causing your eyes to widen. He follows your eyes down to his waist. Cheeks heating up, you open your mouth to speak. "Wh-" You start, "I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean for this to happen." He seems embarrassed, but he doesn’t move to cover himself. You smirked, deciding it was time for you to test the waters of your friendship. You take a step closer to him, reaching out to place your hands on his torso. "Taeyongie, how did this happen?"

Taeyong ignores your question, "W-what are you doing, Y/N?"

"I think I asked you something, Tae." You look up into his eyes, waiting for a response. Whatever space is left between you is filled with sexual tension.

"When you were hugging me.. I’m sorry I didn't mean to-" Taeyong tries to pull away from your grip.

"Can I help you? It must hurt being that hard." Pouting up at him as his efforts to get away from you stop

"Y-you really want to? You aren’t upset?" He asks you in disbelief. Shaking your head at him, you move your hand to palm his hard length through his sweats. A whimper instantly leaves Taeyong's soft lips.

"Can I suck your cock, Taeyongie?" You ask as you bend down on your knees. Taeyong hesitantly nods his head at you.

Slowly, you pull his sweats down. You had no idea what you were doing or where this was going, but you knew for certain that you needed Taeyong’s cock in your mouth. Taeyong's sweats fell to his ankles. Tracing your finger around the outline of his cock, you lean forward to kiss his length.

"No teasing; I thought you wanted my cock in that pretty mouth?" Taeyong’s aura shifted from shy and embarrassed to a dominant side you’ve never been able to see.

Pulling his boxers down excruciatingly slow, "I just want to take my time; I want you to feel good, Tae." Finally, his cock springs free. You knew he was big from the print he left in his sweats, but seeing him naked makes all the difference.

"Well, teasing doesn’t make me feel good. If you want to make me feel good, you-" His voice trails off when you place a soft kiss on the tip of his cock before taking him into your mouth.

Taeyong’s hands grip your head, lightly tugging at your hair.

"Such a slut wanting your best friend's cock." Taeyong gently forces more of himself down your throat. You hum around him, feeling yourself become wet at his words.

"God, you’re so pretty like this." He grunts as he continues to throat-fuck you. Tears brim your eyes as you begin to gag around him. "Just a little longer, baby." He throws his head back while letting out the moans he’s been holding in.

After a couple more minutes of you taking his length, he said, "F-fuck baby, I’m gonna come. Where do you want it?" Without saying a word, you freed his length from your mouth. You look up at him sweetly through your eyelashes with your tongue hanging out. Moving his hand quickly around himself, Taeyong feels his release spurt into your mouth. Tapping his cock onto your tongue to be sure he was finished, he said, "Be a good girl and swallow. All of it."

Standing up, you open your mouth to show him you’ve swallowed. "Ah!" You yelp as Taeyong swiftly picks you up and throws you over his shoulder. "Where are we going?" You ask with a raspy voice.

"I’m gonna take you upstairs and reward you for being a good slut." He says walking up the stairs with you. Usually the name-calling would make you sad, but hearing it come from Taeyong has your panties soaked.

Taeyong sets you on the bed and says, "You won’t believe how many fantasies I’ve had about you. They’re all so naughty." You stay silent, not trusting your voice to speak. Taeyong kneels in front of you as you lay on your bed and says, "Be a good girl and spread your legs for me," not wasting any time when your legs snap open.

Lowering himself between your legs, Taeyong’s face is centimeters away from your soaked panties. Inhaling sharply, "You’re so wet, Princess. You smell delicious." Sticking out his tongue, he begins to lap over your clothed pussy.

"Taeyongieee, please don’t tease; I thought this was a reward." You moan, grabbing fistfuls of his hair.

"You’ll get your reward, don't worry." Moving your panties to the side, Taeyong licks the strip of your pussy before taking your clit between his lips.

"O-oh god, Tae, that feels so good; don’t stop." Throwing your head back and your eyes screwed shut, you say, "Please don’t stop."

Taeyong does as told. Between your wetness and Taeyong’s saliva, you almost didn’t feel his finger slide into you. Taeyong adds another finger, curling them inside you.

"Y- you’re drooling everywhere." You say as Taeyong lifts his head up.

A sinful chuckle escapes from Taeyong's lips, "Baby, that's not drool. Open your mouth." Doing as told, you feel your pussy tighten at the emptiness as Taeyong brings his fingers to your mouth.

"Suck. That’s how wet you are for me." He bites his lip, watching you suck yourself off of his fingers. "Don’t you taste good?" You nod. 

"I’m not done." Taeyong removes his fingers and moves them back down to your pussy. This time, he adds three fingers, causing you to jump. Pumping in and out of you, he lifts up your shirt, starts to massage one of your tits, and then begins suckling on your nipple.

Becoming overstimulated and starting to squirm underneath him. "Come here," You pick up his head, bringing him up to you and pulling him into a deep kiss. Taeyong manages to slip his tongue into your mouth while his fingers are still pushing in and out of your throbbing pussy.

"I-I’m gonna cum, Tae. Oh, please don’t stop." You moan into his mouth. "Then cum. Cum on my fingers, Princess." Taeyong’s fingers curl inside of you, causing the knot in your stomach to come undone.

Taeyong removes his fingers, sticking them into his mouth. "Tae, please, I need you." You beg. "What do you need, Princess? Tell me." He looks down at you mockingly.

"Please, I need you inside of me; I need you to fuck me." Sticking out your lip in hopes he’ll give in.

"Only because you asked so nicely. Look at you begging without me asking you to. Such a slut." He shakes his head at you disapprovingly.

"I promise to be good please just fuck me." Taeyong tilts his head at you with a smile. "Baby, you’ve been such a good girl for me; don’t worry, I’ll fuck you until you can’t take it."

You gulp, pulling him back into a kiss, not being able to resist him any longer. Not breaking the kiss, Taeyong lines himself up with your still-soaked pussy.

Slowly, he pushes his length into you. You let out a sharp moan, trying to get adjusted to his length. "Does it hurt at all?" He asks, looking into your eyes with concern. "I want it to hurt." You say back to him through your breathy moans.

Taeyong’s hand reaches up to your throat, wrapping his fingers around you. "Do you mean that?" Not breaking eye contact, You nearly scream, "Fuck, yes, Tae, please!" His grip tightens around you before he pulls his cock out just to slam it back into you. "Fucking slut. You’re taking my cock so well."

His words make you tighten around him. "I felt that. As if you need to be any tighter." He grunts. 

"Can I ride you?" You ask shyly. Taeyong nods, pulling out of you. Switching spots with Taeyong, you climb on top of him. Taeyong’s cock lays on his stomach as you lower yourself to glide yourself over it. Rocking back and forth, humping his cock. Throwing his head back, you hear soft, pretty moans fall from his lips.

"Taeyongie, earlier you were gonna tell me how to make you feel good." You remind him, "What do you want me to do, baby?" Taeyong winces at the pet name.

"Do you like when I call you baby?" You ask him. Nodding back at you, it was your turn. Picking yourself up, you slowly slide down onto Taeyong's cock. "Tae, you feel so good inside of me, you fit so well." You tell him through your moans. Leaning down, you move your hand to his neck and ask, "Can I?" He looks deeply into your eyes and responds with a soft, "Please."

You begin rolling your hips to feel him deeper inside of you. He was the perfect fit, hitting you in all the right places. "Taeyongie, you’re such a good boy. Making me feel so good. Am I making you feel good?" You ask him.

"Princess, you’re so tight, I’m going to come." He tells you through his clenched teeth.

Slowing down, you release your grip around his throat. "Beg for it, baby boy; it's only fair."

"Please don’t stop. Please, let me cum!" He pleads, bucking his hips upward toward you.

"Not when you do that, you have to be good." You say looking down at him. "I’m sorry. I’ll be good," he says lazily, throwing his head back.

Resuming, you pump yourself up and down on him. Looking back up at you after a couple minutes, Taeyong can tell your legs are getting tired. Without saying anything, he swiftly moves you underneath him.

"W-what are you doing?" You asked, confused. Yes, your legs were tired, but you weren’t ready to stop.

"I want to fuck you. Get on all fours. Now." Without hesitating, you get on your hands and knees. Taeyong preps you again with his fingers before sliding his cock back into you.

"Still want it to hurt?" Taeyong asks. "Y-yes, P-please." You hiccup through your moans. Taeyong grabs a fistful of your hair with one hand and raises the other to slap your ass. "A-ah again." He cocks an eyebrow, then lands his hand on your ass again.

Reaching below you, he rubs your clit as he thrusts deeply into you. "Tae, I’m gonna cum." You whine, trying to move the hair sticking to your face. You look down to watch Taeyong touch you. Watching him causes the familiar knot to return to your stomach.

"Cum on my cock, baby; be a good girl and cum." This was all it took for the knot to come undone, though it felt different this time.

"That’s right, baby, squirt on my cock. So fucking hot." He says as he changes his pace. Your eyes started to get fuzzy, and you felt like your body could give out at any moment.

"I’m gonna cum," He leans forward and grunts in your ear. "Cum for me; finish inside me, baby." You whisper to him before grabbing his face and pulling him into yet another deep kiss. Taeyong whimpers into the kiss, releasing his load inside of you. Slowly, he pulls out, watching his cum leak out of you.

He collapses onto you, panting heavily. "That was—" you interrupt while wrapping your arms around him. "Amazing?"

Taeyong lifts his head up to look at you, smiling ear to ear, and says, "Totally."

[whavsims]

nothing good happens after 12am

maeve spotted leaving and entering orchid a go go with A list rapper von perry. will this party girl ever calm down?

[tanihanya]

You wanna know smth that worries me loads in media rn? The Overwhelming Pessimism (rant post, written at 12am lol)

Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I was watching some older shows with my dad earlier-- and while some were a couple dated, Some things, really, really stuck out to me. We were watching M*A*S*H, the episode where the Cardinal Visits. It touches on deep topics, while still keeping it's normal humour, and feels good at the end. However, It was more after watching it-- that I sorta noticed... M*A*S*H would never air today.

And, No- Not because people would be 'Too Sensitive' - But the opposite, It's not dark enough. It's not grimy. It gives war as it is without being constant, overwhelming angst, and brooding darkness, and pessimistic characters--- I tried to think, about shows that were hopeful and meaningful and light today-- Movies, Even-- and I just, Couldnt. And that's because... as far as I know, what optimistic shows exist? From Superhero movies to sci fi, we have gritty, dark stories about corruption and being doomed and hidden issues we don't think about, constantly weighing down all the time. Online, we only see shit and how awful the world is outside, and never- never once- Like M*A*S*H and TNG, some shows I really like, Ways to deal with it, or try to help and fix it-- Nothing good, as if the human condition is nothing but misery and regret. But it's not like that. The World Sucks, it really does-- But we fucken neglect the things that make it redeemable, too- We neglect that change can, and has, happened. We seem to design the future as this unstoppable force of evil, that none of us can stop. Where are my TNGs and MASHs to help? where are the shows that are meant to give me faith? Where are the people still dreaming of futures, even if unattainable, to try to achieve? Where is our future? If all we ever think of is darkness, how can we ever expect it to be light? When we phrase "Realism" as the same as pessimism, the world falls into the pessimistic ideas itself-

Is Pessimism realistic? or are we making it realistic by being so pessimist? When we make only awful and gross futures, what future do we expect to grow into?

We don't allow eachother to dream. That is the right we are taking away from ourselves-- Something no external force can do. People in the past have dreamt of tomorrow in the worst of situations, why do we only ever make these nightmares? I'm going to be honest, While it's true that the world always has, and likely will, always suck, the fact is that we live here anyway- We need to make these changes, or try to, or the world will never become any different.

Yes, It's hard to try to change things, but it's harder to live in a world where nobody tried.

Where are the happy stories? Where have they gone? Where are shows like M*A*S*H, which acknowledge and explore the shit while appreciating the good ?

Where is half of our Human Condition? Where have we hidden it? It's easy to consume doomsaying media, Everybody does it. I do it. It's addictive to feel doomed, it's easy to throw all out and say that our futures will only get worse but--- Who Benefits? How does it help? It is hard to be hopeful, and it always feels like it gets harder as time goes on-- But we have to be Hopeful anyway. We have to dream or at least believe that things Can Improve.

If we never do that, then we never allow things to improve at all. If we let the world take away our ability to dream, we're giving up something that it has no right or access to. We need to welcome change. Yes, Recognise that "It's not good enough" But still be able to celebrate that it happened at all, that today is better than yesterday. I can't remember who said this, But I'm gonna quote a line that I heard once: "Welcome to Earth, Your Mission is to leave a better place than the one at your birth."

Forget about changing the world, you can change things down on our level. the personal level. you can still try, you can still work hard to make yourself happy- you can still be kind, and appreciative to others. We can still work for those glorious, unachievable dreams instead of these vicious, equally unrealistic nightmares. I hope this made sense <3

[wookofwallst]

(Article) Starfield Steam reviews are sliding fast.

Well, it's been a month now since Starfield has released, and players have really let loose on the internet about how they feel. Good and bad reviews have popped up on Steam, Metacritic, and the Xbox store.

My main focus here is going to be on Steam for a few reasons . It's easier to sort by play time and alot easier to find other reviews rather than just "Xbox Exclusive Bad".

Underlying numbers kind of shows the 75%. Alot of people want to talk about review bombing but what about review lifting? Review inflation? Whatever you want to call it, the first day of reviews should probably be disqualified based merit. If you don't like that idea, then you're telling me more than 20 thousand people played the game enough to give a thoughtful review? I doubt it.

The reviews that I put in here will be from people who have put in over 100 hours. For a game this size and with how much there is to do I think that would be best.

After a pretty lengthy review and 170 hours played, one user said:

"I regret taking the time to bond with my companions, talking with every NPC, flying & running around scanning the planets, and lockpicking every door or chest I encountered. Overall, I regret completing the main story. I can't believe I'm saying this, but IGN was right about the 7/10."

It's hard to disagree with what he said. There was alot of hype in NG+, even the CEO of Xbox said "The game doesn't start until you beat the game" and what happens after? You get a new ship that can fast travel anywhere in the galaxy and all of the loot, weapons, and everything you had is all gone. The ship cannot be expanded upon, and you're given a new space suit.

149 hours played and multiple paragraphs. Another user said:

"The writing in this game is AWFUL. Image if you will, you are a new corpo grunt, your first day as an intern and boom you find out the CEO is selling company secrets. So you confront them, kill them and everyone loves you for it from this one piece of 'evidence' and gives you a promotion. This is Starfield in a nut shell."

"I have 1000+ hour in Fallout 4 for example. I will never hit that in Starfield. It's just not that interesting.

No vehicles

No atmospheric flight

No groundbreaking features

No taming

ZERO Aliens..."

It's hard for me to disagree with anything this reviewer said. I can even expand upon it. 90% of the "aliens" in this are gigantic insects with no intelligence at all. I understand that space might not have a lot of aliens in our neck of the woods, but this is a video game. Put some aliens in it! Outposts are stupid, copy pasted time wasters.

Final one 114 hours played. This is the full review:

I was expecting a game i could play for 100s or thousands of hours but after just 100 hours i can say i have beat the entire game and done everything. It is bland and nothing like the interesting games we were previously given... Biggest disappointment of 2023 worst rpg i have ever played... all bland procedural content that is the same on every planet. Their is no interesting characters or unique items to chase after. It is literally 6 quest lines and a main quest line that take a 100 hours to complete then their is nothing but small meaning less quest that are all similar with the same places and dialogue in different planets.

Bland, meaningless content that's procedurally generated. And that's the common theme. It's Kwibblekop AI bad, dull, and void of any emotion.

So yeah, looking at actual negative reviews of the game with valid criticism is reinforcing the score I gave it. 6.5.

Did you like Starfield? Do you think reviews that are posted should have a time limit? Do you believe in review inflation? Anything new you're playing? Let me know! Thanks for reading!

You can catch me live on Twitch every weekday from 8pm-12am. Link is below!

[sailingmakai]

𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙  𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙  𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓  𝘊𝘈𝘕  𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠  𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌  𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎  𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙  𝘈  𝘓𝘖𝘛  𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME: Sev

PRONOUNS :  She/They!

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION  : Mostly Discord, but I can do tumblr too if needed/preferred

NAME  OF  MUSE(s)  : Akira Kurusu! (For this blog anyway; if you wanted Discord we'd be here a while lmao)

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? )  : RP, since 2013-ish. My first-ever blog was made around there, and I've been RPing ever since, but I've been writing for a good few years before that. I'd saaaay maybe four or five? I can't check since I deleted all my oldest stuff, but it's around there.

BEST  EXPERIENCE :  In general, I'd say an RP I did with a pair of friends from another fandom with another muse from years ago - where my muse was being chased down by a worried friend after having run away (after either hurting them or BEING hurt, can't recall), and was offered a deal with the demon sin of Gluttony, which he took and has since forever regretted - that one took until 4am and was one of my favorites~ I don't think I've had something that's made me stay up that late just to get more of it, since.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS : I definitely hate when people control my character - taking them and making them act or move more than just briefly describing them taking a thing in a plot/thread where we both know they're gonna take the thing.

One dealbreaker I have though - Guilt trips. I've had people do this to me before where for whatever reason, I didn't really wanna thread something - either the thread itself wasn't something I wanted to do or I just plain didn't vibe with their muse and made an effort to tell them as politely as possible that I didn't think my muse would be able to interact well, if at all, with theirs. And always, ALWAYS the response would be them going to their blog, and vague-posting about me and how I should be writing with THEM if I wanted to rp so bad, as well as people guilting me into refollowing them after deciding I didn't want to follow them after all, usually for the above reasons of 'my muses won't gel with theirs after all, whoops'. Basically - if you knowingly, intentionally, try to leverage my anxiety as a means to keep me interacting with you, you can consider me gone. For good.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,    ANGST  OR  SMUT  : Fluff and angst are both amazing. Smut... Technically I'm okay with smut as a concept, but given the characters here are early-20's at best, and canonically in the range of 17, I do not want it on my blog in any capacity. I will block you if you try. Romance is fine, don't get me wrong! I love doing soft fluffy romance~! But I ain't doing no sideways tango shit with anyone but my old Layton buddies, because all our muses there are grown men and women in their 30's and 40's at LEAST.

PLOTS  OR  MEMES  : Plots. I am... extraordinarily bad at writing non-serious stuff. Even when I TRY to do sillies, they always come out serious. Sigh.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES  : I can do both! Buuuut if we thread a thread long enough my replies WILL steadily grow stupid long. I don't know why. It just... happens... ;w;

BEST TIME TO WRITE :  Any time! All time! As long as I'm awake! I have endless free time due to being pretty damn unhireable due to a perfect storm of people-based social anxiety, poor memory, and inability to develop marketable skills!

But yes - I'm awake and online pretty regularly any time between 9am and 12am Newfoundland time.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S) : God I wish. I do channel a little bit of myself into them, and I wouldn't be surprised if that shows, but I'm nothing like Akira, nor any of his au's I've got in here. Don't have enough spine for that, lmao.

TAGGED  BY  :  Stolen from @soulsbetrayed!

TAGGING : Go ham, my darlings

[pwblogarchive]

December 2006

December 3, 2006

“status”

yesterday i fell backwards through a window- sure it was sugarglass and light wood.still felt the nerves slip.been sleeping 3 hour nights.i love watching people sing and speak and write about the people and things that they love.it makes me feel regular again.gave up on love when i started seeing about it in gossip rags.gave up on god when i realized one day my father was gonna die.gave up on myself too many times to count- you could trade mistakes for sheepand count me away forever at night.thanks for never giving up on me.even when you truly should have.and most of our incoherrent thought is wasted on whether it will mean more to stay or to go. if we can get home before the light hits our bedroom.

December 3, 2006

“a penny for your thoughts”

im sensing some antidote in the way the world has been speaking to me.but im all heart with these fingers stuck in my ears-playing scenes from my childhood so loud that i cant hear whats happened to me.you cant fly these wings, you cant sleep in this box with me.somewhere theres a backroom for us to be swapping spit in. a ditch for me to be forgotten again."there are plenty of fish in the sea" quip pretty fisherman on boats in stocked lakes and fish farms.do you think about me when you see the moon in the afternoon?"shape up or ship out"im nailed and boarded up in a box addressed to somewhere else.of all gods jokes, i am the most cruel- i will make you forget your headand your rulesand your friendsand your faithwe are bricks on gas pedals.we are the ink on forged checks.i will make you mine and then forget you.my head is too crowded for the company.can we go back to how it was?before there was a world out the front door that got off on being down.stockpiled good fortune and am ready to wait out the storm.i want you in my after 12am veins.lately it all just feels like looking up through ice in a frozen pond at red cheeked families skating, carefree.to be honest, even though im nodding off in airport lounges-id rather lay my head on a curb somewhere with you than any of the rest of it.and the universe doesnt care about luck or headlines.someone whispered "make yourself" in my ear once.steal me away from all of this.make yourself.

12/03/06 Q&A

question

I was just wondering, how much profanity can be expected on the new album?

answer

not too much more than what you hear in “arms race”- though i have a mouth like a sialor. i tend to write in more hyper sexualized metaphors- nothing that would warrant a sticker or anything tho…

question

who you like better.. old pete or new pete?

answer

people always seem to be in a constant state of flux. noone stays the same forevr but the change never seems to happen overnight. old pete got grounded alot and stuff but to tell you the truth ive never cared too much for either. in all honesty.

question

pete, you guys owe the midwest big time you tottaly skipped us on the FOE tour…you arent playing a show in iowa or chicago… =[

answer

duh like wed ever space out on our hometown, like we dont have something super special planned just for you that is NOT part of the tour—- that goes for a couple of places we are “skipping”- have a bit of faith. we try not to let you down…

question

Push-up bras: in or out in 2006?

answer

im not wearing them anymore this year, so i guess no.

December 4, 2006

i want to fall in love with someone who can speak parseltongue.

- xo

December 8, 2006

minus : bill and teds excellent adventure was almost halfway done when i got home. and i wasted my night thinking of someone who will never understand me.minus/plus:i cut off my hair and jumped through a sheet of glass for our new video. plus: when napoleon eats the huge banana split in bill and teds: ziggy piggy ziggy piggy. i got an igloo dog house and fake snow for hem to play in. way more fun than whatever else i oculd have been doing. going to see panic tommorrow.

- xo

December 12, 2006

5:31am

i cant explain the feeling that has been exactly the same since the first moment you bobbed your head, had your spit shoot out of your mouth when singing along, or been crush on the railing on the front of the stage.everything else aside. the flashes, the numbers, everything- i hope i am judged and remembered only by how you have felt and sung along.it is a testament to who i wish i was and am always striving to become. because as much as we saved you- you have saved me.the shows feel the same. i was worried. but a smile or a wink reminds me that we are still part of the same machine that noone else understands.sorry if this is corny but these were the thoughts going through my head as i iced my back today after the show. if i fall apart, if we didnt sell a single record- this was still the best adventure story ever written. and i am endlessly grateful for that. ill now go back to being a douchebag.i think youre gonna like the new video.... let us know if youre hearing arms race on the radio by you.... just putting the final touhces on the record- yeah we know its like shopping for presents on xmas eve. but oh well. we dont want to let anyone down, not ourselves or you.xo.sleep fast, dream hard.ps i miss my dog.

- xo

Dec 14 2006 

02:26:00

dear you,

sometimes we get caught up in riding the moment, good or bad. mental health or our bodies. usually its never as bad as it seems in our own heads or in those seconds when it seems like noone else can empathize. but the truth is, as reluctant as we are to admit it- there are strains inside of us that make us exactly the same. together and alone all at once. crashing thoughts like chemistry. playing these club shows has been like heaven for me- its the closest i can get to being that little band again- and i love every minute of it. its exciting and crushing- pins and needles everywhere in anticipation. seeing the same old faces on the barricades but with new smiles. i have high hopes that you will come with us on this record if only because i feel like i/we owe it to you. i listen to the songs over and over again and hope that they hit you in that same spot but in a brand new way.

post video: my back will be okay,so will my hair (haha as okay as it ever was), i am in love with my band more than anything else on the planet. i hope you like the video.

i feel like a hack giving advice to you on the q & a when the truth is, i dont really have a clue to get through life on my own.i havent been able to sleep since we left on tour this week- my question to you- what do you do to fall asleep?

thanks for always being there. even when you probably shouldnt.

it puts me at ease knowing that someone else doesnt get it as much as i dont get it.

December 14, 2006

“be my unholy, my one and lonely. (the inside of my head, unfiltered).”

computer broke. back broke. love broke.

but the ship is gonna look pretty at the bottom of this sea.

my memory is a steel trap.

your face has been filed away- to be scrutinized later.

to be despised.

to be loved.

to be sought.

to be dreamt of.

i am the inside of "i dont care".

right in the middle.

staring at you.

i have you read before you even say your name.

except when im wrong

and my whole world tips on end.

"i loved everything about you that hurts".

everything i love about you is a mess- is the reason you cant get through your days.

i keep the tv on loud in hotel rooms so i dont feel alone.

i wear scarves and hoods cause theyre the only poker face ive got left.

in my head i smash mirrors and break palm readers' hands.

i love to write of sex and bodies pressed against eachother- but i am not a closer and never will be, i cant get my mind to shut off long enough to make moves. id rather remember the smell of your hair and the way you faked like you were too drunk to drive home.

id rather break you down.

i dread human contact but cant stand to sleep alone- two parts of me that are constantly at war with each other.

every single mirror is a trick mirror. not just the funhouse ones. we see what we want.

i wish i could live a billion years just to evolve beyond love.

only the science of that doesnt really add up, and besides i am addicted to it.

if you cut me open i am the single most regular person that has ever existed.

it scares me.

it electrifies me.

i have put my belief in god in a sort of holding pattern- i close my eyes hard and want to believe. just because this cant be it. but im not ready to commit. keep flying. one of these days were gonna run out of fuel.

the famous < the infamous.

i want to become better than i am.

i want cures instead of houses.

and hope instead of hype.

only its all so big that i dont even know where to start.

birth and death are just the bookends, no one explains how to find happiness in between.

my mood changes before i finish whole sentences. hence the fragments.

if anyone ever knew the whole truth im pretty sure they would lock me up and throw away the key.

i dont like to talk or play certain songs because they are just an unhappy blur in my life when somewhere inside of me i was sure id be dead before anyone ever heard them.

i wish jimminy cricket was my best friend.

i think hed keep me on track.

its no fun hating someone who hates themself so much more.

youre just an amateur.

you cant complain about your back and then jump off of high things.

well you can but then you just look silly.

my attention span, my temper, my faith and my height are all pretty much just short.

if i ever really had three wishes i am sure id waste them on ruining three peoples lives.

disappointing people is my thing baby, find a new gig, this town aint big enough for the two of us.

i have a love/hate relationship with being forgotten.

i fall asleep on the keyboard all the time, i think it is of some comfort to me.

i cant wait to meet the person i will want to grow old with.

posted by xo @ 12:29 AM

December 16, 2006

2:57am

Have heart, willing to travel.

- xo

December 16, 2006

come on just let me make out with one of your friends and we'll call it even

caged all the free spirits.lets make them shiny so we see them glisten on the ocean bottom.well take your flaws and polish them as good as new-that is except for jealousy, theres been a recall on that one.expect version 2.0turned the corners of my eyes out as though they were my pockets, as i pass by men sleeping in boxes looking for loose change.fix me or forget me. at this point im going for whichever is easier.im guessing i look like i just got off a bender cause everyone keeps saying "you really should get some rest".like that was the problem.it feels like a surgeon who cant cut himself open to save his own life.going AWOL from ghost towns.look into mirrors-"wipe that smile off your fucking face."my dreams are all backyards in the suburbs and you.and whatever happens in between just make sure our plots are matching and next to eachother.its kind of tough being a people pleaser when you arent too fond of people in general.on steroids for the back- no, not the cool kind. though one of the side effects is dementia.living out of a suitcase changes your outlook on the world.its hard to imagine a time when any of this made sense.a flight.fizz of tonic water.clicking of hotel room keys."ive never done this before"s.you need oxygen tanks to climb the mountains i have made of these molehills.keep me away from the inside of your head.

December 16, 2006

here's to fresh starts

Today was one of the longest ever for me.I have no explanation. Except that relief can come from the last place you'd ever expect.Sometimes the people you expect to be there are no shows. Especially when you're on the tile floor heaving.I am ready to be me again.I miss my puppy. I think you dreamt me alive.

December 18, 2006

love/hate

I am sur ei have been loved. I have obsessed over love. the kind of love of getting in and out of trouible. I have hoped for love that is beyond you beiung caught by me or me trying to slip through the cracks. I hope for a love that is like astronomers who desribe distant planets. Even as experts it is a too far off to even properly calculate no matter how much you adore it. And I am no expert. When was the last time you felt proud of me? Ask myself when was the last time I did anything worth your pride? When was the last time I was moved, not like a piece in a board game but truly moved. When was the last time I didn't see the world in an "you always stick your neck out" or "can't catch a break" kind of way. You are the kind they cut off ears for and start wars over. You are a distant planet, noone would get from afar. You are the dream that I can't remember but can't forget. You are the trap door magicians never reveal. You're my last trick. You're my grand finale.

December 18, 2006

“diamonds into coal.”

i am a terrible typer on a sidekick as proven in the previous post.

i hate hotel room life.

i hate doing interviews.

i hate reading interview i have done.

i am overdramatic.

i am overly pessimistic. i only see the worst in everything.

but i smile and nod along anyway.

i dont believe a word anyone says to me.

but id really like to believe in everything.

this list is boring. i miss my dog.

December 19, 2006

being in new york brings back strange memories of fall. i am really excited for everyone to see the new video tommorrow. though i am completely bummed out to see people selling tickets for ridiculous amounts of money for the friends or enemies tour. the whole point of this tour was for us to play some small rooms with our dedicated fans. i dont really think there is anything we can do legally about people who are taking advantage of this. the only thing i can think of is that we will go around venues before the show and try to give out a few tickets for free (i doubt we will have many extra as most have sold out). dont feed into this. we will keep playing smaller shows and secret ones- as well as a bigger spring tour. i promise you will get a chance to see us. we are going to go everywhere. please dont let these vultures get you down.

- xo

December 20, 2006

to only you:there was this girl- a doll. hanging and dancing on strings. black hair and smiling. she lived just off of a town called naivety... some place i have driven through from time to time. and i never had an idea. cut the strings so we could run down the street under trees and roll in the grass. never meant for it to become what it did in so many different ways. never meant to always leave the driveway headed one direction and never knew what waited when i returned. only that her eyes were the lights in the windows that i pulled up to in the snow. slipping off the ends of icy roads at nights racing home through the night no matter what. and the miles got father and farther in between. and i couldnt ever figure myself out to save a thing. but now i cut those strings and she is forever dancing or lying or waiting in the lit windows for vans and buses that came less and less. and i wrote the harshest words and she wrote the harshest words. she turned from a doll into a girl and i from a boy into a monster and back into a boy now and again. eyes always red and puffy. pride always on the line. things were much simpler when she was on strings for her i think. things were much simpler when the van only went so far. before i had to press a picture of her and paste it on dashes and inside of bunks everywhere. i cant explain how i got here. it doesnt make any sense. she could follow the articles and videos or my pieced together stories. or a dog. or a dream. or words that make half sense sent in the middle of the night. and even when im telling the truth it doesnt matter cause the phone is always dead. and i am always 30,000 feet in the air flying somewhere. but i keep the warmest memories close to my heart even when im at payphones and want to cut my insides out,, dry them up and mail them to her. "im sorry" doesnt matter anymore. the words have no meaning. im sorry i cut the strings and ran away. now when i come to look for her i dont know where to begin. its hard to not say "its all my fault" but it goes through my head over and over so i cant sleep with out the AMBIENce of my bed and the puppy. bane songs. boomerangs. badnews. arkansas. goodbye love i didnt know you well or maybe too well.

- xo

December 24, 2006

they say this thing between us is getting old, but i think of it more like vintage love.

im like one of those movies you buy in a hotel with every button but rewind.have at it.your jokes.your ring tones.it doesnt matter.i cant ever get the right words to the right people.lying on the side, tears fall from your left eye into your right.filling it and spilling over. and so on.spilling out. but not pretty like in the movies.phones are always dead.white lights hanging on houses, breath in the air-everything about right now reminds me that i am all alone.and how terrible i am because of the thoughts that run through my head.like im pretty sure i could get some sleep if you were dead and gone.but not in a "drop dead" kind of way, more like you couldnt fuck with my head anymore.a snow day on giving a fuck about anything.sit here and stare at the television because thats what im supposed to do.forget to eat.sit in the roped off corner of a club because thats what im supposed to do.forget to care.and i just want to write a story or a song that makes everyone forget their troubles but im not too sure that i have it in me.hot spots become luke warm.i just want one person to know me completely before i die.i want maternity wards on stage for the delivery.spent the afternoon in an mri- its like preparation for lying in a coffin forever. it was a fear i havent experienced since i was young. the shaking and the sounds and the closeness of it all. everyone loves an underdog. every dog will have its day. top dogs. all dogs go to heaven and such....

December 25, 2006

he said "i brought the hoody back all them other boys dont know how to act"

when i was little i wanted to be max from where the wild things are when i grew up.kind of bonkers, cause he was just a kid too.

12/25/06 Q&A

question

is it true you and andy had a fight? and now fall out boy is breaking up?

answer

nope. not breaking up anytime soon. contrary to whatever stupid things have come out of any of our mouths near journalists. we are currently doing better than brad and angelina- no break up in sight.

12/28/06

question

dear pete i hope you liked your christmas i know i did i got the clandestine bag i wanted and tickets to the red hot chili peppers concert i just wanted to say i look up to you because you let me down every time i needed help i asked you because i didnt know who to turn to my older brother being the jerk he is never helped me in any way and you never answered any questions with any substance anyways i dont know how many times i posted my questions but i digress i learned that you cant depend on the people you look up to, to help you out with advice i learned to help myself out and just face my problems and if i make a wrong turn well ill learn from that too so i just wanted to thank you for making me that much more independent i still love fall out boy sooo much too much in fact or so ive been told im not just another fan that listens to you guys and asks you stupid questions i am a fan that loves your music and i know not to depend on you for advice cause you cant help me i can only help myself sorry if im dragging on but im trying to get my point across im not sure if you will ever read this one im pretty sure you wont and im okay with that cause that will prove my point ill give you three trys to answer cause i dont know how your answering process works three cheers for questions with no substance -sincerely me *strike two*

answer

glad you had a good christmas. as far as answering questions- i miss alot of them- either do to timing or that i didnt feel capable of answering or whatever. usually i answer whatever sticks out to me. sometimes goofy ones, sometimes serious ones. we as a band try to be role models the best that we can. im sorry that you felt let down. its great to be independent and i think its awesome that this question wasnt a “fuck you i hate your band cause you didnt answer my question”… it sucks to feel skipped over i know that. im glad that it sounds like youre doing well. hope your family situation has gotten better.

question

i was watching release the bats and was wondering if your parents had seen it and what they thought of it. i was oddly fascinated yet disgusted. nice job

answer

i think my mom thinks its funny. my brother and me have been doing stuff like that since we were little- so its not too shocking.

question

Since your famous to some people. Would you ever like Wierd Al to make a song about you and the rest of the band? If so, what do you think he would sing about you and the band?

answer

we grew up on weird al. we’d love the honor of being mocked in a song of his- i think maybe “where is your beer tonight? i hope it is a heineken”

[areffikennedy]

Second Important Story

Here’s what happened with Nick Anderson on DeviantArt (https://www.deviantart.com/nickonplanetripple), On Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/planet_ripple_hq/), On twitter (https://x.com/NickOnRipple), And here on Tumblr (https://www.tumblr.com/nicholas-anderson) - On last Tuesday January 29th 2024 at 2:24AM, I was trying to text him, Telling him my apology for what I have done to make him feel like this because of me by saying - “Look…I know that…If you don’t wanna like answer me and my messages I’ve been talking to you or telling you about over since the past few days and months just to have you as my friend or just wanted to have your friendship…That’s fine,…But,…I just…But from last September for what I’ve been through after what happened - It’s all my fault and she was right, I should’ve done something even more to like help you out or to fix something up…But…All I ever did was just post something nice and fun for you as my review for what I really think about your comic and how much I like it so much…And I’ll admit this to you that…"

"After she said this so long no good message to me into which that is something I did not understand it from her and I felt like this after she left me here alone and she’s like this all because of me and it is my fault.”

And then at 11:12AM, I said - “If that is your choice…Okay…But I just want to let you know that…I’m sorry…And hope you understood what I done was wrong…And…I’m sorry…I am so sorry that…If I hurt you or humiliated you or something like that and that you got so hurt and what you lost by me…And I…I know that I…I can never make that right,…And I mean it…It is my fault…And I hate myself too…And I hope that you would understand me and forgive me…”

And then at that same time still, He said - “Please just stop talking to me.”

Then still on Tuesday at 7:03PM, He said - “Please… just leave me alone. I have too much going on here, too much stress and emotional crap to take this in without sacrificing my health. I’m sorry she reacted that way, I just want to be left alone.”

And then at that same time still until to Wednesday at 12:45AM to 3:58PM, I said - “Okay then…If that is your choice…Very well then…But I just want to let you know that…I’m sorry…And hope you understood what I done to you was my fault and was wrong…And…I’m sorry…Also, I hope you feel better soon…I just hope you accept my apology within my forgiveness and hope that we become friends…”

And then on Thursday at 8:14AM, He said this one last final message to me before abandoning me by blocking me and leaving me all alone just like as for the same thing that (NK11 (https://www.deviantart.com/nk11)) did from last September saying - “STOP. MESSAGING. ME. I don’t WANT to be friends. I want to be LEFT ALONE. Respect other peoples’ boundaries. Take a hint.”

And I send him my sad reaction to him at 11:41AM to him and he seen it before he blocked me…And then yet as I checked at 3PM, …Nothing…No response from him alone too…And now, That’s why I’m feeling like this and even to make him now do this to me for the same way that she did to me last September and now he’ll never respond to me and come back to me ever again for all eternity for the rest of my life too and it feels like I’ll never going to like his stuff onto this Instagram and never see him again forevermore and it seems that he’ll never ever forgive me and even give me another second chance to change too…And now I feel now for the second time…I’m now again…Left out,…Abandoned,…Shattered,…Unwanted,…And alone…

So if any of you who are on Instagram, Tumblr, YouTube, Facebook, and/or DeviantArt, You should all know about this person abandoned me from last January 2024 (6 months ago) by blocking me on Instagram and leaving me all alone here abandoned.

[carolineasweet-blog]

You want to know all about it, right?

I have one great party story. It comes up often with various prompts: ‘have you ever had a celebrity run-in?’ or ‘have you ever had a threesome?’. It’s not necessarily my story to tell, but sometimes I tell it in the first person because it’s easier that way. But here’s the real story...

From 2007-2009, I had a different life. I was a publicist, a sort of celebrity publicist, in the height of Paris Hilton and the beginning of Kim K fame. It was my job to know who the trendy celebrities were, who was with whom and all the hot gossip so that I could place PR items in magazines accordingly to boost our corporate clients’ names. One such client was a large, fancy hotel casino and spa. Our PR strategy was to invite C list (inexpensive but still noteworthy) celebs to the property for a free weekend of food, fun and partying. One such weekend, Halloween weekend, we invited a celeb, a former girl group star (we’ll call her C) and her husband to the property. We invited all 6 weekly gossip rags and let the schmoozing ensue. 

There were 3 of us in the PR department. My boss, Charles, was sober and had long given up the partying life. Then there was Saoirse between us, a young up and comer - the life of the party and a bulldog at work - and then me. I was straight out of college, freshly Midwestern turned Manhattanite who had no idea what I was doing even being a part of that life. Charles never went on these weekend party/work trips. And seeing as this particular weekend was Halloween, we wanted to really maximize our coverage which meant two of us needed to go: Saoirse would handle the talent (make sure we get all the party photos in wild poses with wild costumes) and I would handle the journalists (make sure they were wined and dined appropriately). 

Saturday night starts normally - like any other one of these PR weekends: Saoirse, C and her husband were ushered into the private VIP room of the on-property restaurant while me and the journalists sit amongst the plebes and I make sure to note how delicious the new rock shrimp is - Jeffrey Zakarian just redid the menu, you know.  After dinner, the groups converge for red carpet interviews and break apart again in one of the three property nightclubs. Again, Saoirse and crew are ushered off to VIP while me and the journos sit in the back trying not to look out of place. After one vodka soda, Saoirse rushes towards me, grabs my arm and says, “Hey, I think C and her husband are hitting on me.” Always one for the story, I assume she is embellishing. She always did seem a little full of herself. “I’m sure they’re not,” I reply and make a mental note to keep an eye on the VIP section. Saoirse heads back into the stanchioned off VIP area, and sure enough, she sits down only to have C herself in her full catwoman costume with whip, rest her hand on Saoirse’s thigh. C gently starts caressing - “Holy shit, maybe she’s right,” I say to myself. 

Thirty minutes later, journos well on their way to drunk, I decide it’s my cue to exit. While I was in my early twenties and typically never missed an opportunity for free drinks, I didn’t like to be drunk while working. I tried to be asleep by 11pm on these weekends. Nothing good ever happens after. I walk toward Saoirse to tell her I’m heading up to bed. She grabs my hand and whispers in my ear, “We’re leaving soon too. They said they have good weed in their room.” “Be careful,” I say to her and head upstairs to bed. 

The next morning, I wake up around 9am to a barrage of texts on my Blackberry from Saoirse. From 12am-1am, a round of texts fire: “Holy shit, wake up!!!!! I have the best story! Where are you???? WAKE UP!” 

I immediately text Saoirse, “Breakfast?”  

“No time,” she sends back tersely. “Meet me at the car in 15. We have to leave now.” 

15 minutes later, I meet Saoirse outside our rental car, and as we drive the 1.5 hours back home, she tells me the story...

Shortly after I left the club, she did go up to C’s suite in pursuit of “the good weed”. But when they arrive in the room, Hairy (we’ll call the husband), Hairy says their dealer hasn’t showed up yet and that Saoirse should feel free to get comfortable. Their suite has two couches facing one another, so Saoirse sits on one side while Hairy and C (still in full catsuit) sit across. “Hunny, this top is sooooo uncomfortable,” C says to her husband. “Can you unlace it?” Hairy attempts to undo the bustier, clearly not fast enough, as C gets impatient. “Ugh, men,” C says, “Saoirse, do you mind undoing my top?” and she moves to the couch next to Saoirse. Slowly, methodically, shaking, Saoirse unlaces the bustier. Once undone, C stands up, bustier in hand, tits out and saunters to the bedroom. “She’s just getting more comfortable,” Hairy assures Saoirse, “the weed is on its way.” 

After awkward small talk, C calls out for Hairy to meet her in the bedroom. He walks to the open door, peers in and smiles. He turns back to Saoirse, “She’d like us both to come.” Saoirse walks toward Hairy and stands in the bedroom door, her mouth is agape. There, staring back at her is famous girl group C, fully naked, fully spread eagle, labia out beckoning Saoirse and Hairy to bed. She pats the pillow next to her, and Hairy crawls toward her. “Come here,” C eyes Saoirse.  “Oh that’s so sweet,” Saoirse squeaks out, “I don’t... I don’t think it’s for me,” she says, and with that, she ran. 

Saoirse finishes her story and we laugh. We laughed and laughed and laughed the entirety of the drive back to the NYC. We recount the entire night, the signs along they way, the moment it clicked with her what was really going on and whether she should have gone through with it. We decided had it been another famous couple from that same girl group, we definitely would’ve gone through with it. 

I love that story. It’s one of my favorites, not just because it’s silly and salacious, but because two years later, Saoirse died. That’s why I tell it in the first person sometimes. It’s easier that way. 

I saw so much of myself in Saoirse. She was an older mentor, but only by three years, so we were in similar phases in life. We could share a group of friends, but she was tough on me. Really tough. She double-checked every email I sent and made sure I learned the ropes thoroughly and perfectly. She’s the reason I know how to behave in office culture. She never let up on me, and I think that’s because she saw herself in me too. We didn’t always get along - I guess that’s what happens when you’re so similar to someone. But even when she made my life hard, I admired her so much. Her toughness, her strength, her ability to have fun no matter what. I used to think her month long birthday celebrations were self indulgent, and now it seems like they weren’t long enough. 

Before she left publicity a year after that story, I was the only co-worker who knew she was quitting and heading to grad school. She had chosen the University of Michigan, where I went to undergrad, so for months we would secretly Google Chat about Ann Arbor during work hours. We would talk about fun things to do there, the best bars and restaurants. I was suddenly a resource for her, and it felt good. It was the second time I got to enjoy her as a friend (the first being that infamous car ride). So when she passed a year later, it was hard. Really hard. Not just for the obvious reasons, not just because she was a friend, but because nothing separated her from me. Outwardly, as far as the universe is concerned, we were the same person. We’d led the same life, had the same career, same education, same types of friends. So why did she die? 

It was tough to wrap my 25-year old brain around it. It still is. I never found out exactly how she died - an aneurysm we think - but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I do know that I love to tell that story, and a part of me knows that Saoirse loves it too. Everyone should know about celeb C, Hairy the husband and the Atlantic City threesome that never was. 

[bedpissercastiel]

i think it was for the best that i stopped staying up so late bc the uncontrollable fruit cravings always start after 2am.

[seasons-of-death]

Look Into Me

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader

Synopsis: It's finally time for your first date with Eddie.

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: fluff! so fluffy i'm getting a toothache!

A/N: I had to write it. I had to! I actually have a few series along with some oneshots planned, but I just had to write it. Here, in all it's glory, is the third installment to "Across The Room." This can be read as a standalone, however I recommend reading the two installments before this one!

Part 1 and Part 2

It was a morning sure to go down in history, Eddie running around the trailer like a headless chicken, his hair flowing behind him. It had been a week since you'd agreed to go on a date with him, and he'd spent every night after that thinking about you, and how he could make sure you'd have the best date possible.

He could still vividly remember the way you got on the tips of your toes, giving him a kiss on his cheek and whispering into his ear, accepting his invitation. He could barely sleep the night after, his cheek still burning up where you'd kissed him.

All of his dreams were plagued by how it'd feel to actually kiss you, how soft your lips would feel against his, and how he'd have to bend down slightly in order to actually reach your lips. He couldn't stop thinking about how soft your hands might be, compared to his calloused ones, or how giddy it might make him to be able to wrap his arm around your waist with a smug look on his face, knowing he was holding onto the prettiest girl of Hawkins High.

The only downside was that his uncle now likely thought he was going insane, as the evening before included Eddie running around in a similar way that he was doing now, making sure that his best black jeans and his favorite jean vest were washed, Wayne wondering what the hell had gotten into his nephew.

But now, with only thirty minutes left before he was supposed to pick you up, every single one of his thoughts seemed to be scattered around.

Somehow, you felt the most energetic you had in years, despite only sleeping a little bit over five hours. You had no idea why you'd put an alarm for 6AM, despite having agreed with Eddie that he'd come to pick you up at 12AM, but now, five minutes to twelve, you were relieved that you had.

You couldn't get yourself to believe what was about to happen, that for some reason, the guy you'd been pining over since the first time you'd seen him, was taking you out on a date.

The first time you saw him, it was the first day of your third year and your first day at Hawkins High, as your father had gotten some high-paying government job, and decided to uproot your entire life after living in the same house for your entire life.

You didn't know anyone there, and you were completely freaking out. The school was empty of students, almost making you think that it was some holiday, but then you saw him.

It was only for a brief moment, but when he saw you, he smiled. And somehow, that smile managed to kill every feeling of nervousness inside you. From then on out, you'd seek him out in every room you were in, and when you saw him smile, you felt nothing but warmth.

Maybe he knew that you were thinking about him, because at that moment, you heard your doorbell ring. And with one deep breath, you rushed down the stairs.

Eddie could almost feel his jaw drop to the ground when the door in front of him swung open. You stood there with a open-mouthed smile, a sudden gust of wind brushing some of your hair back.

"Are you ready to go?" You asked, cocking your head slightly, your hand gripping a small bag, and the thoughts about holding your hand came rushing to him.

"Yeah, definitely." Eddie said, clearing his throat, "I had a few thoughts about what we could do."

Few thoughts. As if he hadn't been planning it ever since you'd agreed.

"Sounds good!"

The situation finally started to feel real to you once you'd climbed into Eddie's van. It wasn't like you hadn't hung out a hundred times before, but this felt different. This was different.

The ten minutes that had already went by had been spent in complete silence. Well, there had been one word. As soon as Eddie had turned on the engine of his van, a metal song you hadn't heard before started blasting on full volume, the boy turning it off and sheepishly muttering an apology. For some reason, you thought that was the most endearing thing ever.

"So." You cleared your throat, determined to end the silence between you two, "How's history going for you?"

As soon as the words left your lips, you regretted them. Stupid. You studied with him every other day, you already knew how history was going for him. But even though you saw your question as the dumbest thing to ask him, he chuckled.

"It's going alright." Eddie said, keeping one of his hands on the steering wheel while using his other hand to brush hair away from his face, "How's it going for you?"

"Well, we had a test last week," You looked down at your freshly manicured hands, "and after grading them, Mrs. Click said that I was the only one to get full points."

"That's my girl."

And when those words left his lips, you could feel your heart doing somersaults. Looking to him, you saw the small, victorious smile on his lips as he drove, your heart pounding against your chest when he momentarily turned his gaze to you, his smile only widening.

Eddie had never understood any of those cheesy love songs about someone's heart coming to a pause as soon as they saw someone, but at that moment, he was sure he was living in one.

You stood a small distance away from him, your back to him. The tall grass went up to your knees, and your attention was taken by the flowers peeking from the ground. Something about the blue sundress made it look as if it was made for you, the hem flowing slightly along to the breeze.

He'd found the field of flowers the day of your first lesson, and it made him think of you, the daisies smelling exactly like your perfume. And when he saw you holding one of the flowers, it was like you belonged there.

The sun behind you looked like a halo that was surrounding him as you turned to look at him, the smile he'd come to know too well on your face, it took everything in him not to walk over to you and kiss you.

"Come smell it!" You urged, and it took him seconds to stand at your side as you pushed the flower to his face, "Doesn't it smell good?"

"It smells like you."

You simply shook your head, casually putting the flower behind your ear. "How did you find this place? It's so beautiful."

"One time, I was coming home from Hellfire when I got the urge to take a detour." Eddie laughed, looking to you, "That's when I saw this. It made me think of you."

You nudged him slightly, covering your eyes from the sun as you looked up at him, "Are you being serious or are you just being cheesy?"

Eddie gasped, feigning offence at your comment. "I can't believe you'd accuse me of being cheesy. Do I look like someone who would say something like that if I didn't mean it?"

"I guess not."

"Yeah, so stop questioning my integrity. It's insulting."

"Can't have that, can we?" You chuckled, taking hold of his hand like it was the most casual thing ever.

But he could feel his heart turning backwards inside his chest, the playful smile on your face just making it worse. Somehow, every single thing in the world made sense to him, while also being the most foreign thing ever. It wasn't like anything he had dreamed of, it was better.

Even the thought of him being half as excited as you were for your date was making you giddy, and by the amount of planning that seemed to have gone into the date, it seemed like he was just as happy to go on a date with you as you were to go with him.

The two of you sat in the back row at The Hawk, watching some action movie you'd already forgotten the name of. You'd already spent half of the movie staring at Eddie.

He'd only let your hand go when it was time to get back in his van, and to get out, but for the remainder of the time, it was clasped in yours, your fingers intertwined together. And you'd be lying if you said it didn't have an effect on you.

Eddie looked so beautiful, even in the dark, and you thought it unfair that even his side profile looked so breathtaking as he concentrated on the screen, his brows slightly furrowed and his tongue peeking out every now and then.

What you didn't expect, was for his lips to start moving out of nowhere.

"Are you bored?"

Even the way he whispered sent shivers down your spine as you stared up at him, slightly leaning towards him with dazed eyes. Eddie turned his head to look at you, a grin on his face.

"No." You said quietly, clearing your throat, "Why do you ask?"

"Because you haven't been paying any attention to the movie."

"I have!"

"Oh yeah? What's happened so far?"

"I don't have an answer if you're gonna put me on the spot like that."

"Sure. That's the reason why." He smiled, turning back to the movie while you kept gazing at him with a slack jaw.

He hadn't shown that spot to anyone. The small diner on the outskirts of Hawkins was his spot. And now, it was yours too.

The clouds outside had started turning grey, and you were sat in his usual booth in the corner of the diner, on different sides. Eddie thought it was so endearing how your eyes brightened up when you realized you were on a first-name basis with the waiter.

"So, I'm guessing you come here often." You said, sitting across from him, fiddling with the straw of your milkshake as the two of you were waiting for your food to arrive.

"It's one of my favorite spots, actually."

"How have I never heard of this place?" You asked, looking around, "I mean, it seems like it'd be popular."

"Give me some credit, you don't think I'd take you just anywhere for our first date?" He said, making you chuckle, "I found this almost ten years ago when I agreed to play hide and seek in the woods with some of the bigger kids."

"I was the first to seek, and over an hour went by and I hadn't found anyone. I was starting to get tired, and I had no idea where I was. That's when I stumbled across this diner, and I came in. Doris, our waitress, offered me a free milkshake and let me call my uncle."

"That's so sweet of her!" You exclaimed, "I'm happy you wanted to show me this place."

"I thought it was time I showed someone how awesome the burgers in this place are."

After clearing your throat, you started going through your bag. "I wanted to give you something." You said, slightly hesitant. "I hope you don't think it's weird, or anything."

You placed a folded piece of paper on the table, quickly pulling your hands away as to make sure you wouldn't snatch it back, taking a deep breath as Eddie took it off the table, slowly unfolding it with furrowed brows.

When he saw it, he felt as if a weight had been taken off his heart. He finally knew what was in your notebook that kept you so occupied, what you kept hiding away from him

Eddie smiled, looking at the picture of him that seemed like it was smiling back at him. The way you had drawn him was so beautiful, it would've made him feel like it was impossible for it to be of him if it wasn't for his name written on top of it with cursive with a heart next to it. Eddie couldn't believe this was how you saw him.

Nobody had ever given him something like that. Nobody had ever made him feel like his heart would burst out of his chest any moment. But somehow, ever since he set his eyes on you, it was all you seemed to do. And to think that you would feel the same, made him feel like the luckiest person in the world.

"It's amazing." He said, looking down at the drawing before looking up at you, "I can't believe you drew it."

"You really think so?"

"Absolutely." He laughed like it was the most obvious thing ever, "I can't believe you'd make this. I hope you know, I'm gonna hang this up in my room and look at it every day. Shit, I'll buy a frame for it."

And the way you laughed made him want to pull your face to his and kiss you. Your face lit up, and he knew he'd never get sick of that laugh. That even, when everything else felt like ruin, your laugh would never stop being the brightest thing he'd ever see.

He brought his hand to your cheek, your laughter abruptly coming to an end as he rose up slightly, leaning over to you, his eyes basically pulled to your lips.

And as you were about to rise to your seat, he heard someone approaching the two of you, quickly sitting back down, leaving you to stare at him blankly.

The car ride back to your house had been quiet, but unlike the car ride to the field of flowers, this one wasn't tense, or awkward. You listened to the rain tapping on the roof of Eddie's van as he drove, his ring-clad hand still clasped in yours as you stared at the raindrops on your window.

"We're here." Eddie said softly, turning off the engine, and you turned your head to look at him, a smile still on your face. "I had a lot of fun today."

You chuckled, looking down at the hand that was intertwined with his. "Me too. I don't think I've ever had this much fun."

"Somehow, I still can't believe that you agreed to go out with me."

"Are you kidding me?" You chuckled, "Eddie, I still can't believe that you asked me out."

"Is it weird that I want to go on a hundred more?"

"You know, I think there's a word for that. Or, like a word for the person you keep doing that with."

"Oh, is there?" He said, furrowing his brows, "I have no idea what it could be."

You laughed, shaking your head before looking down at your watch. "I should go in. I have a lot of history homework to catch up on."

"Well, even great days have to come to an end." He chuckled, letting go of your hand. You felt a shiver go down your spine, already having forgotten how your hand felt without his. How empty it was. "I'll see you on Monday?"

"See you on Monday."

As you got out of his van, walking closer to your door as you felt the rain on your skin, you thought back to everything that happened that day. How every word he had said felt brand new when they left his lips, how comforting his hand felt in yours, how every smile he offered was the only thing you could see. How badly you had wanted to kissed him in the diner before the waitress brought your food.

You paused in front of your front door, digging through your bag for your keys with a wide smile on your face, even the thought of Eddie causing blood to rush to your cheeks.

As you were twisting the key in the lock, you heard something behind you.

"Wait!"

You let go of the key, turning to see Eddie rushing to you, a determined look on his face as he stopped in front of you.

"I'm gonna feel like the dumbest person ever if I don't do this."

And as soon as he got done saying it, you felt his ringed hands on your face as he turned your face up to look at his, your skin feeling like it was burning under his touch, the boy bowing his head slightly as he bent down.

When you felt his lips on yours, it felt like the opposite poles of a magnet finally connecting. The porch light above you flickered as he moved his lips in sync with yours. His curls felt damp against your fingers, and you leaned into his touch, feeling like you were going to drown if you ever let go of him.

You had no idea how long he had been kissing you, but once he pulled away, your lips felt like they were burning, and you were completely out of breath, Eddie looking down at you with a dazed look on his face.

"Will you go out on a hundred more dates with me?" He asked, in-between breaths.

"I'll go on a thousand more dates as long as they're with you."

[tobiokuns]

— morning after with haikyuu boys

summary: when you wake up after an amazing night, you’re sad to see that he’s not there anymore. [start / next] tags: suggestive content + aged up characters, hurt/comfort + angst to fluff, insecurities featuring: bokuto koutarou, miya atsumu, sakusa kiyoomi, hinata shoyo image credit: @seerlight on twitter

—bokuto koutarou

when you wake up and bokuto is no longer in the bed beside you, you think, ah, i should’ve expected this. he’s always been popular, going off to do big things, and there was no way that he would settle for you.   

you think that the way his eyes sparkled as he rocked into you last night, chanting you’re amazing, y/n, must have been just in the heat of the moment, because there’s just no way bokuto, larger than life, would want someone as quiet as you. then your phone pings, and you see a text from him.

bokuto [10:12am] hey hey, i had a great time last night  ヽ(o＾▽＾o)ノ bokuto [10:12am] have a good day y/n!!!

your heart lightens a little, but you notice that he doesn’t say that he wants to see you again, so you turn off your phone and leave him on read. he was probably just being nice anyway. 

a day passes, and you don’t receive any more messages from him, so you think you’re right. but then the door bell rings, and you open it to see bokuto standing there, his hair deflated, his eyes downward, pouting at you. 

“koutarou?” you urge him inside, tamping down your own feelings, “what’s wrong, can i—”

“did you not have a good time?” he bursts, holding you by the shoulders, “cuz i had a really good time, but you didn’t answer my messages, so if you didn’t, please tell me what i could do better!”

you look at him, bewildered, but also a little embarrassed. you could’ve at least replied to his text, you think now, but you were so sure that he hadn’t wanted you back.

“s-sorry,” you blush, “i-i just thought you were being nice. you left so i thought you didn’t want to see me again—”

“that’s not true!!” he exclaims immediately, wrapping a strong arm around you, “i was just excited, i didn’t want to scare you so i left, to give you some space or something. was that wrong? i won’t do it again if you don’t want me to!”

he’s talking so much, his voice booming. you start to melt into him, your face in his chest, just like last night. he stops when he notices your cheek rubbing against him, and lowers his voice just a little. 

“i should’ve just stayed, huh?” he asks sheepishly, holding your shoulder tightly against him. you nod, laughing lightly. yeah, you agree, but just don’t leave next time.

—miya atsumu

atsumu shows up at your door exactly a week after he’d left you alone in bed, a dozen roses in his arms. you stare at him for a few moments, taking in the sight of his pleading eyes, and shut the door on him.

you had been completely ready to roll over and tell him all your feelings that morning: how you’ve been watching him since high school, how amazing you thought he was, despite all the bad things people say about his personality and attitude. you didn’t care about any of that, and you wanted to tell him how much you admired him, but he hadn’t been there.

you laid in bed for the next few hours, wasting away your sunday, and when you get up to wash your face, you decide that if he’s not going to at least call to say where he’d gone, then maybe he was as bad as people say.

“y/n...” his voice cuts through your thoughts, but it sounds muffled, as if he had his head against the wood of the door. “y/n, can ya hear me?” when you don’t answer, he continues: “i’m sorry fer leavin’ ya... ‘samu said i was stupid, and y’know he’s never right, but since ya haven’t talked to me... i think he might have been this time...”

there’s a pause, and you wait, still refusing to open the door. it’s been a whole week, you reason.

“how do i put this...” he mutters, lightly tapping his head against the door, “i guess i was jus’ feelin’ awkward ‘bout it... i never done that before so—”

you rip open the door, cheeks red, “never? ‘tsumu, you’re a virgin?”

you think about all the girls that have flocked to him over the years and the way that he easily interacted with them. you thought you never had a chance, not against the girls with the prettier faces, the curvier bodies, the glossier hair. but when he had kissed you last night, sloppy and desperate, you felt all those feelings melt away.

“...ya don’t hafta say it like that...” he pouts, and when you start to giggle, he scowls even harder. “i was just... waitin’ for the right time, y’know?”

when you don’t say anything, staring at him dumbfounded, he manages to stutter, “s-so? w-will you take the flowers?”

your eyes soften, covering his fingers with yours, “yes,” you agree, “but only if you agree never to leave me again.”

— sakusa kiyoomi

sakusa hadn’t meant to stay the night—he knew he had an early morning practice that he needed to be properly rested for, but after the way you had clung onto him, and realizing how good that felt, he decided he couldn’t just leave you. and when he wakes up, glancing over at your peaceful face, he also decides to just pull the covers up to your chin and text you later.

but when you wake up alone and a little warm, with no new messages from him on your phone, your heart sinks. you think of the way he let you pull down his mask, the way he pressed forward to kiss you, and wonder if it all meant nothing. you leave him a message anyway, pressing send before you second guess yourself. 

y/n [9:52am] kiyoomi, if you didn’t want to see me again, you could’ve just let me know. i don’t blame you or anything.

you throw your phone on the bed and proceed with your day as if nothing had happened. life goes on, you tell yourself. but when the doorbell rings that evening, the last person you expect to see is sakusa, who looks a little worn out, still dressed in his training attire.

“kiyoomi? what are you—” 

he cuts you off, his voice so deep and serious that you shrink a little:  “i had practice. i left my keys here, so i was going to come back anyway.”

“so you just needed your keys?” you repeat, a little numb, and turn away to grab them from the bowl in the doorway. you hand it it to him with a tremble, mumbling, “...here you go.”

he takes them from your hand, but intertwines his fingers with yours anyway. “no,” he says slowly, “not just my keys. i forgot to let you know where i was. i’m sorry.”

“i-it’s not like you have to tell me where you are all the time...” you’re blushing, your heart thumping in your chest. 

he grips your fingers tighter, “yes, i do,” he pulls you closer gently, “we’re together now, right?”

— hinata shoyo

when you wake up, the spot next to you is still warm, but there’s nobody there. you blink, thinking about how gentle hinata had been with you last night, the look in his eyes as he pressed into you, and wonder if he’d changed his mind.

“shoyo?” you call, but there’s no answer, which only confirms your worst fears.

hinata had always been too nice and a little immature. you can’t imagine that if he wanted to leave after a night like that he would be able to effectively communicate it to you without messing up. well, you think as you turn over, staring at the ceiling, maybe this is better than rejection.

but then you hear the front door open, and someone’s bounding up to your bedroom door. hinata pokes his head in.

“y/n, you awake? i got food, i didn’t know what you wanted so i kinda got a lot but if you can’t finish—” he stops when he realizes that you’re curled up beneath the covers, your glassy eyes blinking back at him.

hinata scrambles over, dropping the bags on the floor, and burrowing into your side, “what’s wrong? are you sore? was it me—”

you start to wail midway, cutting him off, “i-i thought you left!” you hiccup, “you weren’t there when i woke up so i thought you regretted it and—”

“no, no, i would never—” he protests, and his gaze softens when he sees your patchy face, “y/n, please don’t cry! i-i won’t leave you ever! come on, let’s go eat, okay?”

you wipe your tears hastily, lip still quivering. but you believe him, his eyes as bright as they were the day you met him, and you say okay.

[softxsuki]

hi!! hope you’re having a good day/night <3 can you do the brothers celebrating the reader’s birthday? my birthday is tomorrow and no one ever really remembers and i just need some comfort :)

The Obey Me Brothers Celebrate Reader’s (MC’s) Birthday

Pairings: Lucifer x Gn!Reader, Mammon x Gn!Reader, Leviathan x Gn!Reader, Satan x Gn!Reader, Asmodeus x Gn!Reader, Beelzebub x Gn!Reader, Belphegor x Gn!Reader

Warnings: Slightly suggestive for some of them, but nothing too crazy, don’t worry

Genre: Fluff

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 2k

Summary: In which the Obey Me brothers each celebrate your birthday with you.

[A/N: Hello anon. HAPPY BIRTHDAY <3 Eat lots of cake and have fun whether the people in your life remember or not. I hope people remember your birthday though and you have a wonderful day! The Obey Me boys are all wishing you the happiest of birthdays so I hope these headcanons can provide you with a bit of comfort <3. Enjoy!]

Lucifer:

Lucifer is super prepared for your birthday, he had spent weeks in advance planning everything and making any reservations he needed for your special day

In the morning he spends hours preparing your favorite human world food and won’t allow any of this brothers to even lay a finger on anything until you’re downstairs and have all the food you want on your plate poor beel

At the Academy he makes sure all your classmates know it’s your birthday, everyone has been informed to treat you extra special, and if they don’t wish you a happy birthday, there will be consequences 

After classes, bc he believes school is important so there’s no skipping, not even on your birthday, he’ll take you back to the House of Lamentation to get ready for your evening with him

First he takes you into the shopping area in Devildom and allows you to browse through all the stores

Even if you don’t find something you like, if your eyes lay on an item for too long or if you pick something up to admire it, please know that he’s already throwing them into carts so he can buy them for you

Afterward he’ll take you to the Human World to a fancy restaurant so you can eat some amazing food that is familiar to you

He remembers that time you told him your favorite food, so he made sure that the place he made reservations for, had exactly what you’d like

Basically just spends the whole day spoiling you rotten

When you both return to the House of Lamentation, he only allows his brothers to see you for a second before he whisks you away to his room, because there’s no way he’s letting you out of his sight on your special day

You’re free to go in the morning though :)

Mammon:

Mammon makes a huge deal out of your birthday...not that he’s gonna tell you that tho o.o

At exactly 12am you receive that birthday text from him along with him questioning if he was the first to say it to you--mhm totally not obvious

He’d then come up with an excuse that he just happened to be on his phone getting ready to text if you wanted to hang out with him tomorrow, but suddenly remembered that it was your birthday okay buddy whatever you say

We all know this man is whipped for you even though he refuses to say it himself

He’ll walk you to the Academy on your Birthday, and you become surprised by all the birthday wishes you receive from your classmates Mammon totally has nothing to so with it tho *wink wink*

He has you skipping class with him halfway through the day though and says that he dragged you along because you’re “his human,” and he’s gonna treat you to something nice

THE MAMMON is willing to buy you something special, as he puts it, so enjoy being spoiled--we all know that you’re the only person he’d ever spoil anyway as much as he love his goldie, he loves you more heh

Like Lucifer, Mammon wants you to himself for the whole day and literally picks you up to drag you away from his brothers that happen to also want to spend time with you on your birthday (ofc because you’re so awesome)

Once you get to his room though, he’s all awkward and telling you not to get the wrong idea and just asks if you wanna watch a movie or something

You guys end up cuddling on his bed after the movie :)

Leviathan:

Levi is your typical shut-in, he hates parties and anything related to them, the loud music, crowds of people--absolutely hates it

But he still wants to celebrate your birthday with you so he makes sure to text you early to make plans with you before any of his other brothers take you away from him

He’ll spend a little time decorating his room for you, and yells ‘Surprise!’ when you enter his room

You guys spend the rest of the day playing videos, eating junk food, watching anime, or reading ‘The Tale of the Seven Lords’ series

He’d let you win one round of a game that you guys play together, but don’t expect him to go easy on you afterwards

If you call him out on is, he becomes a blubbering, stuttering mess as his cheeks burn bright red

That’s about as extravagant as it gets with Levi though

He’ll get jealous if his brothers come into his room and try to steal you away

At the end of the night he hesitantly asks if you’d like one of his Ruri-chan figurines, just one though!

He figured that if he ever wanted to see it again, he could just go to your room, which gives him an excuse to visit you without directly saying that he wanted to see you

He also trusts that you’ll keep it safe

But yeah your day with Levi is a pretty lazy day, but you still have a blast together

Satan:

Satan’s goal for your special day is to make sure you’re as relaxed and happy as possible

Your day starts early in the morning when he comes in with freshly made breakfast that he cooked for you himself

You’d both eat the food he made in bed together in a comfortable silence, just enjoying each other’s company

Afterwards, he lets you get ready before taking you to his room where he has books galore

He’s prepared one special book for where every few pages he’s left sweet little messages, each wishing you a happy birthday along with one different thing he loves about you

Each time you flip the page, his eyes leave his own book so he can catch your smile whenever you come across another one of his messages which just makes a similar smile appear on his own face

He’d probably take you to the human world to visit a cute cat cafe

You both order some drink and fluffy pastries while cooing at the adorable cats

He does want you all to himself while the two of you are out together; however unlike the others, as soon as you return home for the evening, he has no problem with the brothers trying to get your attention and wish you a happy birthday except Lucifer

After all, you seem happy around his brothers, so that’s all that matters to him; as long as he gets to have his own private time with you first LOL

If anyone even thinks of not remembering your birthday, they’d have to face his wrath o.o

Asmodeus:

Asmo Asmo Asmo...get ready to be pampered all day long

This day is all about you! (and him ofc , but mostly you because you’re the only person he make time for to spoil like this)

Get ready because he’s in your room early in the morning, excited to spend his day with you, doing all the things he loves doing on a daily basis, but it's even more exciting getting to do them with you

Your day is jam packed with beauty appointments

First, you guys go to a spa and get the ultimate relaxing/beauty package because he insists that it’s the perfect way to start off a special day

Afterwards, you guys are off to a salon to get your hair and nails done together and he whines until you allow him to pick your hairstyle and nail color for you

In each of these places he’s full on bragging about you to the workers who tend to him (massage person, hair stylists, nail tech) saying that it’s your birthday and how you’re so lucky to be spending your day together with someone as beautiful as him

But then he also continues on and starts telling them all how beautiful you are too :D

After getting all pampered for the day, he’s off dragging you into every possible clothing store as he picks out a few outfits and buys them all for you

When you both return to the House of Lamentation, he had secretly prepared a surprise party for you with the brothers and invited all your friends along with a few other unfamiliar faces

It’s a huge party, all to celebrate you, so hopefully you enjoy it because Asmo spent a lot of time planning every second of it  

At the end of the night, he’s ready to treat you with another massage, but with his own hands this time, just make sure he keeps those hands in check because he has a bad habit of letting them wander DOWN BOY

Beelzebub:

Our sweet boy Beel is just so incredibly happy that it’s finally the day that you were once brought into the world because he can’t imagine his life without you

We all know this man is always hungry; however, he’s willing to ask you what you want to do to ensure that you have the best day ever for your birthday

Luckily you tell him that he can decide whatever you guys do that day, he’s relieved because he wasn’t sure how long he’d last without food

Just get ready because you’re gonna be bursting at the seams for all the food he’s about to treat you to

He has a list of restaurants, including his favorite spots to eat in both the Devildom and in the Human World that he wants to take you to

He’d suggest some meals to you for each place and buys as much food for you as you’d like

Beel would even offer you some of his own food from his plate if it made you happy <3

Aside from food though, he had made it his mission to buy you a special gift, either one that he bought or hand made (and luckily he had the self control to not eat it before he could give it to you)

Speaking of self control, after you return to the House of Lamentation and have your own celebration with the rest of his brothers, he’s in the kitchen making a cake for you trying his best not to each all of it in the process

You’re in his room talking to Belphie when Beel comes in with only half the cake, looking a little guilty

He tried his best to not eat any of it, but he got hungry on the way and managed to at least save half for you

Of course you and Belphie only takes a slice of the cake and offer the rest of it to Beel anyway

Enjoy your birthday with this absolute cupcake, he’ll make sure you’re treated well all day <3

Belphegor:

Finally Belphie, who loves sleep ofc, but he loves you more so he’s up early despite himself so he can wish you a happy birthday first, in person

Please offer him a morning nap though because he tried his best to wake up early for you to make sure you knew that he remembered your birthday, but he’s still extremely tired

Cuddles cuddles and more cuddles, expect loads of those because he’s gonna be clinging onto you all day as if you were his cow print pillow (not that he doesn’t do that already though lol)

When you guys both wake up again, he makes it his mission not to sleep too much for the rest of the day because he really does want to spend as much time with you celebrating your birthday so you feel special

He’d only allow Beel to join in on your birthday celebration with him, so don’t expect to see the other brothers all day long, specifically Lucifer

He calls Solomon over later that evening to summon a star shower especially for you

It’s one of Belphies favorite things and he wants to make sure you can see something so special on your birthday

You spend the rest of the evening cuddled up to him, watching the stars fall beautifully all around you both

He even lets you sleep on his lap for a chance since he’s usually the one that’s always sleeping on your lap first; once you’re peacefully sleeping though, then he’d finally join you in sleep

Basically your day is very relaxing, probably even more than your day with Satan and Levi, so enjoy your lazy day with our fav sloth <3

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 10/24/2021

[badassbuchanan]

Making Amends

Plot: Bucky walks back into your life, and with it, your past, along with all the feelings that were there.

Warnings: smut; tfatws!bucky, i never know how to end fics, heartbreak, tension, love making, unprotected sex.

Word Count: 5908

A/N: It’s 12am and I definitely did not proof read this - I take responsibility for any and all mistakes

Okay so with Bucky they used to be together when he was the winter soldier but then he just up and left without a trace so she married into riches but her husband died?! So now she lives alone in a big ol house

“Excuse me, Y/N.” The soft voice caught the woman’s attention as it echoed through the room. Y/N looked up, noticing the petite, older maid standing in the dimly lit wooden frame of the doorway.

“What is it Mary?” Y/N gave her a welcoming smile, looking up at the maid expectantly as she sat up a little straighter in the grand armchair. She delicately folded in the corner of the page of the mystery novel she was reading before neatly placing it down on the side table next to her.

“I do apologise for bothering you at this hour, but you have a visitor.” Y/N noticed the way Mary played nervously with her apron, her unusual jitteriness aroused suspicion in Y/N. Y/N listened intently as she took her reading glasses from her face, placing them on top of her book. “I told him to come back another time, but he’s quite persistent.” She noticed Mary look down the hall to her left as she spoke, as if being intimidated by a figure that was unseen to Y/N. Something definitely wasn’t right.

“He?” Y/N’s ears perked up as a warm flush of both anxiety and excitement washed over her body. She quickly moved to wrap the silk dressing gown tighter around her body, hiding the lace trimmed nightgown she wore underneath. No. It couldn’t be him.

“Yes, he…he said you’d want to-“ The figure of a man emerged in front of Mary, cutting her sentence off. Y/N froze from where she sat, her heart stopping momentarily as she watched a secret part of her past walk into the room. James Buchanan Barnes. The Winter Soldier. Her first lover. Her partner in crime. Her everything. Here. After all this time. After all the heartbreak. She hadn’t seen Bucky since he’d abandoned her late one night while she slept, disappearing without a trace. She searched for him, terrified that one of his enemies had caught up to him. She spent night after night awake hoping that he’d walk back through the door, but he didn’t. He never came back for her.

She had to stop her heart from leaping out of her chest as she sat there, speechless. All of their memories flooded through her mind. Their first kiss. Their first mission. Their first time having sex. The adventures. The soft touches. The sweet nothings. The plans they made. The heartache. The pain. The agonising months spent trying to forget him. 

“Bucky.” Her voice cracked as she took in his changed appearance, looking him up and down. He’d cut his hair. His once clean shaven face now covered in stubble. His eyes seemed softer. He looked older.

Bucky’s chest heaved beneath his leather jacket, noticing the pain in Y/N’s eyes. He glanced down at his hands as he slipped off his gloves, a sigh leaving his lips as he second guessed his decision to come here. Damn his therapist and her stupid idea to make peace with his past. 

“Thank you.” Bucky nodded towards Mary, signalling for her to leave. Poor Mary looked like she would burst into tears at any moment, terrified of both being told off by Y/N for letting this happen and of being killed by the intimidating visitor. She looked over at Y/N for guidance, not wanting to leave her alone without her consent. Y/N nodded reassuringly with a soft smile at Mary, who’s eyes softened with worry as she quickly moved out of the doorframe, obeying Y/N’s wishes as she shut the door behind her.

Bucky turned his head back towards Y/N, his gorgeous blue eyes making her heart skip a beat. She dropped her head from his gaze, her cheeks heating up as she forced herself to ignore the way he made her stomach flutter with butterflies. “Y/N.” He smiled softly, sensing the trepidation extruding from her as he stepped further into the room, placing his gloves down on the coffee table.

Bucky grumbled to himself as she ignored him, the reality of facing her was a lot harder than he ever imagined it would be. His eye caught view of the teapot sitting on the silver tray, leaning down to pour himself a cup silently to buy himself some time.

Y/N scoffed with a roll of her eyes at his confidence to make himself at home, shaking her head as she felt her eyes getting slightly teary. “Help yourself.” She spat sarcastically as she avoided his gaze, resting her body back against the chair.

Bucky chanced a quick look up at her before lifting the teacup to his lips, sipping the half cold liquid. He chose to ignore her comment, he deserved it, and so much more. “You been keeping well?”

She bit the inside of her cheeks as she kept quiet, keeping up the heartless facade for as long as she could. She refused to let him know how much it pained her to see him, how much she still longed for the kind of love that they’d once shared.

“I think about you a lot, Y/N.” Bucky broke the silence as he placed the teacup onto the table, slumping down onto the couch opposite her, spreading his legs as he adjusted the leather jacket to make himself more comfortable. “My therapist says it actually seems to help with my nightmares.” He continued, a pout on his lips as he cupped his hands together, relaxing into the chair.

“You have a therapist?” She raised her eyebrows accusingly, crossing her arms over her body as she felt her heart beat quicken with anger. Her blood boiled as she watched him sitting there as if he hadn’t broken her heart. 

Bucky raised his eyebrow as a response, a subtle nod of his head as he clenched his jaw. “It’s a condition of my pardon.” He spoke matter-of-factly as he shrugged his shoulders. He hated this. He hated how shut off she’d made herself. He hated having to play the part of an asshole, knowing her well enough to know it was the only way to keep her talking.

“She’s got me going through this amends list,” He mumbled with a sigh of exasperation, letting his head rest against the back of the couch. “she’s even given me three rules to to obey in the process.” He let out a chuckle of amusement as he mocked the Doctor’s orders. 

Y/N let out a sigh of aggravation, rubbing her fingers against her temple as she closed her eyes. it was too late in the night for her to handle this kind of emotional turmoil. “Bucky, why are you-”

“The first rule is that I can’t do anything illegal.” He cut her off, he didn’t want to have to answer her questions. Questions he didn’t know the answers to. He shifted quickly to sit forward in his seat, picking up the teacup to take another sip of his tea. He noticed her make no effort to cut him off, his plan was working. “The second is that nobody gets hurt.” He smirked as he looked down at the cold liquid, swirling it around in the cup.

Y/N crossed her legs as she sat forward, leaning in to listen to his speech as she kept her eyes focused on her fingers. She noticed the slight tan line on her ring finger, where her wedding band once sat, a million thoughts filling her mind. Bucky wasn’t the only one that had to make amends with his past. He wasn’t the only one that had tried to move on. 

Bucky sensed her walls crumbling as she got used to his presence again. He lifted his eyes as he placed his teacup on the table once more, his eyes lifting to her body, admiring her as he always had done. He’d left to protect her. To save her from the inevitable doom they faced as assassins. He was terrified of not being in control of his own mind. He was terrified of hurting her. Something he’d ended up doing anyway.

He never stopped thinking about her. Ever. It didn’t matter where he was or what he was doing, he always thought about her. Like everything else that was going on around him was just noise, a distraction keeping him from her. With everyday that passed the longing to be with her seemed to grow. Without her, all he had was war, assassination, fights, destruction, death. Without her, that’s the only thing he had to focus on. 

“Do you remember the first time we went on a mission together?” Bucky smiled softly, feeling his heart thud against his chest as the memories flooded through his mind, bringing back all the emotion. 

Y/N’s eyes welled with tears as she swallowed the lump in her throat, the tension in the room rising so high she found it hard to breathe. “I told you I’d die for you.” She relived the memory in her mind, her head spinning as she smiled so subtly that it was unnoticeable to Bucky. After that first mission, she’d seen the worst of Bucky. She’d seen him as the heartless Hydra assassin. She’d seen that he was just as broken as her, and she fell in love with him in that moment.

Bucky’s stomach fluttered with butterflies, a fire of hope igniting inside of him as she slowly started opening up to him. “and I told you that you’d never have to.” He added with a shaky breath, his metal fingers tapping anxiously against his thigh. One wrong move and he’d be shoved from the room and out of her life for good. “Because I’d kill anyone that even looked at you the wrong way.” He chuckled softly at the memory, remembering so vividly how bright she’d made his dark world in that moment.

They sat in silence for a moment, both lost in the memory of each other. In a time where they’d had little control of their minds, with what Hydra was forcing the super soldier’s to do, they found refuge in each other. They found love in the darkest place, a love so rare and beautiful. A love that was impossible to get over.

“And you did,” Y/N’s voice dropped to almost a whisper, clenching her jaw to fight back the tears as she sat there, hurt and angry. How dare he come back into her life without warning, bringing up all of their precious memories that it had taken her a lifetime to forget. “Until you left.”

Bucky closed his eyes as he fought off the reminder. He’d woken up from a nightmare, his body glistening with sweat, his metal hand tightly wrapped around her throat. She was sleeping peacefully next to him, as she always did. It wasn’t the first time he’d choked her in her sleep. But there was a fear in his eyes, born from the lack of control that caused him to never want to hurt her again. He couldn’t help his nightmares, he couldn’t stop the lack of control he had over his mind. The only thing he could do was leave. To let her carry on with her life, without him.

“Do you miss me?” Bucky asked suddenly, his eyes opening to watch her intently. He had spent the last few years fighting to find a way to get back control of his mind, a small glimmer of hope alive in his heart that they’d find their way back to each other somehow, and he’d be fixed when they did. 

She shook her head, a small ironic chuckle passed her lips as his words cut through her like a knife. “Don’t.” She whispered sadly, the loneliness of the last few years engulfing her body. He’d been on her mind everyday. She’d always hoped he’d somehow find her, that he’d bring back the love he ripped from her. “Don’t do that.” She sighed softly, blinking rapidly to stop her tears from flowing down her face. Even when she’d tried to move on, live a normal life, marry a wealthy man who adored her, she felt nothing. When her husband passed away suddenly, leaving to her his whole estate, she felt nothing. She’d never been able to feel anything, apart from when she was with Bucky. “Don’t come here, after all these years, acting like nothing hap-”

“Answer the question.” He demanded with a tone of frustration as his metal fist slammed against the coffee table, desperate to hear her say it. He’d lived without her for long enough, the fear of losing her again was too much to bare. He could tell she was losing control by the way her lips pursed together, trying to maintain her strong appearance.

“What do you want from me?” She sighed in defeat, hesitant to opening herself back up to being hurt again. She felt his warmth from across the table, the familiarity of him was something that brought her comfort, and something she desperately craved more of.

“Yes or no, Y/N, do you miss me?” He kept his eyes focused on her intensely, his jaw clenching as he watched her break. Bucky knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he was her weakness. He knew that she couldn’t say no to him. “Because if it’s a no, I will walk out that door and never come back.”

“Yes.” She whispered shakily, the fear of him leaving proved too much as the room fell completely silent. “I miss you, okay. I’ve always missed you. It took me a lifetime try and get over you leaving, to forget you and to be honest Buck, I’m still not sure it worked. I miss you every single day and it kills me inside. Are you happy now?” 

“No,” Bucky spoke back instantly, his face as straight as an arrow as he rested his back against the chair. He watched single a tear slowly roll down her cheek, her eyes closing as her head dropped in defeat. “Come and whisper it to me.” 

If there was one thing she knew about Bucky, it was that he wouldn’t stop until he got his way. She sighed as a sign of surrender, standing to her feet as she self consciously adjusted her dressing gown to cover her body.

She slowly padded over to stand in front of him, her heart racing as she chanced a glance up at his face. His features looked even more beautiful up close, her hands itching to reach out and touch him. She fiddled with her fingers nervously, cautiously leaning towards him, breathing in his intoxicating scent as her lips gently brushed against his ear lobe. “I still miss you, James.” I whispered.

She let her lips linger close to his skin for longer than necessary. She knew she was playing a dangerous game, but yet she still made no effort to move. Bucky’s hot breath tickled her neck as she closed her eyes, her head spinning in a euphoria of his presence. It was something she could never tire of, something that made her drunk, something that left her addicted.

She riskily turned her head to face his, their breathing the only sound breaking the silence as her hand slid up to hold onto the metal of his shoulder outside of his leather jacket. Bucky tested the boundaries, following her movements as he turned his head to face her, their lips almost brushing.

Y/N gulped as her tongue brushed over her lips, her eyebrows arching in anticipation as her eyes flickered between his lips and his eyes. She needed him. All of him. 

“Don’t take it away from me now.” Y/N begged in a whisper against his lips, her fingers digging into his shoulder as she felt him shuffle to the edge of the seat. His eyes didn’t leave hers as he moved, his metal hand lifting cautiously to rest gently on her hip. Bucky’s heart fluttered with happiness, her longing for his love and affection making him feel euphoric. He’d longed for the day to have her wrapped up in his arms again, to have her soft skin on his.

“I miss you, doll.” Bucky whispered against her lips, causing her heart and tummy to flutter as she admired him with doe eyes, like he was the only thing in the world. His words marked the tipping point, her self control demolished as she nudged her face against his, connecting their lips for what felt like the first time. 

Bucky wasted no time in kissing her back gently, both of them lost in the desperation of making the most of every second. He naturally took control, his flesh hand lifting to cup her cheek as she let her hand drift to the back of his neck. All of their memories came flooding like a tidal wave through their minds, their passion just as intense as when they were together, almost as though nothing had changed, as if he’d never left. 

Bucky pulled her down into his lap as he sat back against the couch, tilting his head to deepen the kiss as he wrapped his arms around her body, feeling as much of her body as he could get his hands on. She adjusted her thighs to straddle his lap, ignoring the way her nightie rode up her thighs, revealing more of her silky flesh to the super soldier. The sudden intimacy didn’t scare her, it didn’t make her feel vulnerable or exposed. With Bucky, she felt safe. She felt loved. She felt like nothing could ever bring her harm.

Bucky’s breathing hitched as she bravely rocked her hips down to meet his, feeling his bulge rub against her thinly clothed pussy. Y/N let out a soft moan, feeling herself already coming apart for him, only ever getting so aroused for Bucky.

Bucky reacted to every slight movement of her body, using his grip on her hips to pull her even closer to him. Their chests pressed together as her hands cupped the sides of his neck, a hum of satisfaction erupted from her lips as they continued to softly kiss.

Y/N felt her arousal drench onto her panties from the familiar feeling of his big cock pressing achingly against her core. Their tongues played as they desperately grabbed at each other’s bodies, both craving the raw love they could only get from each other.

Y/N slid her hands down his chest as she pulled back from the kiss, her pupils glazed over with lust as they both caught their breaths. Bucky stared her down, his lips parted, his chest heaving as he panted. He was slightly nervous that she’d changed her mind until he watched her tug on the rope of her dressing gown, letting it slip off of her body and onto the floor. Bucky groaned softly, feeling his cock twitch, desperate the feel her wet walls clenching around him. He used the opportunity to admire her body, running his hands over her thighs and up under her nightie. His flesh fingertips burned into her bare skin, his metal digits like ice as she rocked her hips back and forth slowly, keeping her eyes locked on his.

Bucky breathed out shakily, leaning up to reconnect their lips as he ran his hands over the round of her ass, pulling her harder against him as he grew needier with every second. She arched her back into his touch, pressing her chest back against his as she felt the strap of her nightie drops to her shoulder, revealing a little more of her chest.

She sucked sensually on Bucky’s tongue as he let her hands roam over his sides teasingly, feeling him smile at the loving gesture. His fingers hooked into her panties, her hips jolting in response as she assisted him in making quick work to tug them down her legs.

“Not here.” She quickly moved to grab hold of his wrist, her breath shaky against his lips as her eyelids fluttered in weakness. Bucky watched curiously as she leaned back, shuffling off of his lap to stand up, holding her hand out for Bucky to take. Drunk in each other’s presence, they felt complete in a broken world, Bucky took her hand as stood up, admiring the innocent look in her eyes. Y/N used his hand to balance as she stepped out of her panties, licking her lips to conceal a cheeky smile as a thought crossed her mind. She bent down to pick up her discarded underwear, stepping closer to him as she kept her eyes on his. Bucky smirked deviously in amusement as she shoved the panties into the pocket of his leather jacket, rolling his eyes as he tried to contain how desperate he was for her.

His smile didn’t fade as he watched her turn around, following close behind her as she lead them out of the room and down the hallway.

Bucky’s hands wrapped around her waist as they reached the bottom of the stairs, forcing her to turn around and face him. “I miss you.” He whispered softly as she noticed the way his chest rose and fell rapidly, the long lost feeling of love proved overwhelming for the metal armed soldier as he pressed his lips desperately against hers, his strength making it easy for him to lift her up.

She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, whimpering into the kiss as he walked them up the grand staircase on the house. Her arms wrapped around his neck, her fingers massaging the back of his head as she sucked on his lip seductively.

She gasped as her back hit the door, Bucky’s strength momentarily faltering as his head spun with pleasure. His hand fiddled with the handle, twisting it to open the door as he kept her wrapped around his body.

Bucky walked them over to the neatly made bed in the middle of the room, throwing her down onto the mattress as he moved to stand between her open legs.

Y/N watched as he took off his coat, his eyes focused on her body as he threw the leather jacket carelessly onto the floor. She bit her lip, her pussy clenching in need as she slowly lifted her legs to press her heels flat against the mattress. Bucky’s eyes glanced between her legs, his pupils displaying as he caught an unobstructed view of her silky, wet pussy.

“You got a new arm.” She whispered softly as her eyes ran over his metal arm, it wasn’t the same as the one she remembered. This one was black, with gold detailing, much more subtle than the red starred, silver arm she knew. She licked her lips with anticipation, mesmerised with the sleek style of his upgraded metal appendage.

Bucky’s eyes stayed glued between her legs, pressing his lips together in a hard line as he watched her mound move with every clench of her needy cunt. He hummed in response to her comment, too turned on to focus on her words as he tugged his t-shirt over his head.

Bucky’s jaw clenched as he watched her sit up, her legs staying in place as she snaked her nightie up her body at a teasingly slow pace. Bucky dropped his hands to his belt buckle, their eyes glued to each other as they removed the last of their clothing, leaving them both naked.

She reached forward, her fingers delicately tracing the part of his shoulder where his flesh fused with the metal of his arm. Bucky’s chest heaved at the delicate nature of her touch, his emotions overwhelming him as he cupped her wrist in his hand. His eyes caught her gaze as she used his grip on her arm to tug him towards her, leaning in to press her lips against his abs with delicate kisses. Bucky’s eyes fluttered shut at the feeling, his breath hitching in his throat as her lips travelled lower.

Y/N hummed against his skin, her clit throbbing for attention as Bucky took the hint, pushing her back down onto the mattress as he climbed on top of her. He cupped her jaw as he pressed his lips against hers in a passionate kiss, his hard cock pressing against her slick.

Her nails dug into his skin as her hands explored his bare flesh, whimpering into the kiss as she lifted her hips to meet his. The movement of their hips rubbing together caused a friction that caused both of them to gasp out in pleasure, hungry for more.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, bucking her hips desperately to meet his as Bucky let out a weak moan. He leaned up to press his metal hand into the mattress next to her head, his flesh hand sliding up her waist to cup her boobs, squeezing them gently.

“Bucky,” Her eyes fluttered closed as she let herself sink back into the mattress, overwhelmed with pleasure and need as she squeezed her thighs around his hips. “I need you inside of me.”

“You’ve got me.” Bucky reassured her sweetly as he restrained himself from completely letting go and fucking her hard into the mattress. There would be time for that later, but right now, they both needed to take their time, to feel each other’s love.

He let his thick cock slide up and down her folds, drenching his length in her wetness. He dropped his head to her neck, kissing her soft skin delicately as his tip nudged between her folds.

Bucky’s eyebrows arched as he tried to stay in control of his primal instincts, his hand fisting into the mattress as he let out a guttural moan. He slowly moved his hips forward, pressing his thick length into her as she gasped under him.

Her hand flew up to grip his bicep, her lips parting as her back arched from the mattress, her walls pulsing around his length. “Bucky.” She moaned out his name breathlessly as he slid deeper inside of her, his lips sloppily kissing her shoulder as he moved to thrust his cock in and out of her slowly.

His tongue swiped along her collarbone before his lips moved lower, leaving gentle kisses over her chest. “I’m no longer the winter soldier.” Bucky mumbled against her chest, licking over her nipples which sent an overwhelming wave of pleasure through her body. He lifted his head back to hers, their lips colliding as she traced every detail of his chest with her delicate fingers.

She remembered every detail of his body. Every muscle, every scar, ever definition of his perfect skin. She felt his cock buried deep inside of her, filling her up as Bucky let out a groan, his hand moving up to cup her chin as he forced her to look up at him.

Bucky stopped his movements, gazing deep into her eyes as their souls connected, an intense feeling of satisfaction filling their bodies as his lips came crashing down onto hers again. She whimpered as she pulled him closer, their chests pressing against each other as Bucky let out a desperate groan, moving his hips to fuck her.

Y/N let out a shaky cry as her fingers dug into his skin, she’d forgotten just how big his cock was. He filled her up with every thrust, breathing heavily against her lips as little moans erupted from within his throat. 

Her legs wrapped around his hips as her pussy clenched around his length, trying to accommodate his size. Y/N pecked his lips over and over soothingly as he fucked into her, the sounds of their bodies slapping together with every thrust. She poured out her love for him, the love that never went away, and he felt it, with every kiss.

Bucky’s stomach clenched as his tip nudged against her cervix, his cock throbbing as he felt how her body reacted to every one of his movements. Her tits bounced with every hard thrust of his hips, her clit rubbing against his skin as she hugged his body tight against hers.

He growled between kisses, thrusting into her so deep that the bed hit the wall with a bang every time he fucked into her. She tried to roll her hips, her body weakening under his as she chased her release that was already building in her stomach.

Bucky’s balls tightened as he slid easily in and out of her drenched pussy, in awe of the way her body was clinging to him as though she’d never let him go. He was already close to his climax, he hadn’t been with anyone since her, his cock marvelling in the feeling of being back inside of her.

“My name is James Bucky Barnes.” His balls slapped against her as he grunted the words through gritted teeth, the sound filling the room as Y/N’s mouth dropped open with a gasp of pleasure. Their breaths mixed together as Bucky’s hips stuttered, his eyes squeezing shut at the overwhelming amount of pleasure coursing through his veins.

Bucky groaned weakly as he brought his knees up to rest under hers, keeping her impaled on his cock as he dropped his mouth to her chest. Y/N bit down on her lip as her eyes mirrored the weakness of her body, watching him fuck up into her at a slower pace.

She moaned at the feeling of his lips sucking at her sensitive nubs, her eyes almost rolling back in pleasure as his tongue swirled around her hardened nipples.

“And you’re part of my efforts to make amends.” Bucky moaned at the feeling of the deeper angle, cuddling her against his chest as he fucked into her. The pair were blinded by the sheer feeling of ecstasy, nothing on earth had ever felt as good as making love to each other.

Bucky moaned as he felt his orgasm approaching, his hips jolting automatically as his metal hand flew forward to grip the wooden headboard. Y/N’s back fell against the mattress again as Bucky held her down by her hip, giving him more leverage to thrust into her with such depth she thought her legs would split in two.

“Bucky.” She breathed out shakily, arching her body into his as her head flew back to press into the pillow. Bucky’s head fell softly into the crook of her neck, his little grunts intensified by his lips on the shell of her ear.

Her hand pressed against his tummy as he pounded into her, a shiver shooting down her spine as she tried to control her impending orgasm, not wanting the night with him to end. She tugged on his hair roughly, desperately trying to feel every part of him.

Her eyes were forced open as Bucky suddenly stopped all of his movements, a look of panic washing over her face as Bucky looked down at her breathlessly. He slid his hand between her body at the mattress, supporting her back as he moved to sit back on his knees, lifting her up to keep her against his chest, his cock still deeply buried inside of her.

Y/N let out a moan at the pleasure of the new angle, clinging tightly to his body as her wetness dripped down onto his balls. Bucky pressed his lips against hers, slowly thrusting up into her as he fucked her deeper in the new position. Soft grunts left Bucky’s lips as he felt her pussy twitching around him, her clit overstimulated from the way it was rubbing against his skin.

“Bucky,” Y/N whimpered his name as a warning, her fingers digging into his skin as she looks up at him helplessly, feeling her orgasm taking over. “Hold me,” She begged softly, her eyes glazing over as wave upon wave of pleasure crashed over her body. “I’m gunna cum.” She cried loudly as her head flew back, her lips parted as her moans flowed freely for him.

Her pussy fluttered around his cock as her tits bounced with each of his thrusts, his hands holding her hips tightly to fuck her down onto him.

Waves of pleasure hit her one after the other, his eyes glued to watching her face come undone as he guided her to ride him. She felt herself tighten around him, moments away from her peak as Bucky lost control, jolting his hips erratically inside of her.

Y/N cried out in pleasure as her orgasm took over her body, her tight pussy pulsating on him as she rode out her mind blowing high. She kissed him deeply, their tongues fighting for dominance as Bucky held her in place as he fucked her through her orgasm. Bucky’s face fell into her neck with a loud moan, the feeling of her pussy throbbing around his cock proving too good as he felt his warm cum spurting deep inside of her. She sighed in relief as Bucky grunted, satisfied with the loaded waves of his cum that was filling her hole.

He dropped her back onto the bed, collapsing on top of her, both of them an exhausted, fucked out mess. Bucky moaned at the euphoric feeling, keeping her close as he spun them over so that his back was lying on the mattress with her on his chest.

She turned her head to face him as they both tried to catch their breaths, smiling sweetly as she kissed his swollen lips. She cupped his sharp jaw, pecking his lips over and over, his dick still buried deep inside of her sensitive pussy.

“Was that all this was?” She whispered after a moment of silence, her fingers tracing the metal infused skin of his shoulder as she pressed her lips to his once more. “Just part of your therapeutic methods of making amends?”

Bucky’s heart ached at the thought of her thinking he’d just used her like that, he hated himself for ever making her think he was capable of such a thing. “No. That’s not all it was.” Bucky mumbled against her lips as he sighed sadly, his eyes softening as he cupped her jaw. “I love you, Y/N.” Bucky whispered shakily with a hopeful smile, his words causing her to freeze. She’d never expected to hear him say that, not even after what they just did. “I always have and I always will.” His thumb rubbed soothingly over her cheek, taking the time to admire her beauty.

“I love you too.” She admitted vulnerably, swallowing the lump in her throat she hadn’t even known was there. She didn’t know why he’d left her, she didn’t know why he’d been so hard to forget. She didn’t know why he’d waited all this time to come back, she didn’t know if he was telling the truth or feeding her lies. In a world of disaster and uncertainty all she did know was that she loved him.

“I just have one question, Bucky.” She spoke with a curious tone, shuffling to rest her head on his chest as her fingers traced over his metal shoulder, admiring the intricate beauty. “How did you know which room was my bedroom?”

Bucky’s heart sunk into his stomach, a shy blush of pink hitting his cheeks as he gave her a guilty smile. Y/N couldn’t help but watch with amusement, his shy side was rare to see, and something that she never took for granted. “I may have stopped by your house once or twice before, just to make sure you were safe.”

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