#novelty foods

[copperbadge]

Oh you guys it’s bad. It’s real bad. Bad, bad. 

I bought the two-pack of Figgy Pudding Spam, the only way I could get it, presumably because nobody who buys it once will buy it again. I figured I’d make musubi, because I’ve had spam musubi and enjoyed it, and knew how to prepare it.

I sliced the Spam and pan fried it, then took half out and added teriyaki sauce to the remaining slices, laminating them in the sauce and plating them on molded sticky rice. I cleaned out the pan, added the other slices back in, and cooked them with a glaze made of cranberry-orange jam whisked with a bit of water, then plated them on reheated stuffing. Both sets took the sauce beautifully, like they look great in the photos for the most part. 

The smell of spam cooking is normally fine, but as I was pan-frying these slices I thought, Something smells floral, and then realized it was whatever spices are in this evil concoction, heating up and releasing their fragrance. 

I did try one bite without any sauce, and the problem is not that it’s spiced meat, to be honest. The problem is that there’s a single dominating flavor, and I can’t identify it, but it’s Not Good. The flavors in the press release are “cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, allspice, and cloves as well as fig and orange flavors” and I think it might be the orange and clove -- it tasted like that feeling you get in the back of your throat when you’re in the artificial/dried flowers section of a craft store. 

I had posited that the teriyaki musubi would taste terrible because it would be too salty, but the teriyaki sauce was strong enough to almost cover that back-of-throat burn, and the rice absorbed some of it too. I actually ate most of one piece of the teriyaki version, because it was at least edible. 

The cranberry sauce, on the other hand, had an orange base that heightened the flavor of the spam (hence why I think the orange flavoring might be the Bad Taste) and made it basically inedible. I hate to waste food but I’m not the one who came up with Figgy Pudding Spam.

In any case, I think it’s probably a fun time if you want to cook it and see what your friends think of it, but as a meal it is. Not. 

[ID: Three images; top is a publicity image for Figgy Pudding Spam, featuring a fancy tin of spam set against a backdrop of Christmas lights and pine boughs. Middle image, two helpings of spam musubi made with the figgy pudding spam and a teriyaki sauce are sitting on beds of pressed rice, on a rimmed plate, looking dark brown and shiny. Bottom image, two helpings of musubi made with cranberry glaze sit on beds of pressed stove-top stuffing; they are topped with the last of the cranberry glaze and look like something you might find on your dinner plate during Thanksgiving dinner in Hell, which is also what they taste like.]

[tiffanyachings]

it would have been very beautiful. camilla would have had to cook (horrible bone soup)

[lovertm]

food earrings by chlosoup

[lonelyroommp3]

thought experiment for my fellow vegans and vegetarians: in the near future it is announced that scientists are now able to grow any kind of animal meat (fish and seafood included, yes, even human if ya nasty but this is a regular meat poll not a cannibalism poll so don't let that skew your choice) in labs. Lab Meat has been extensively and independently proven by your most trusted and verified sources to

have the exact flavour, texture, and nutritional profile of the real thing; it is for all intents and purposes biologically identical to "real" animal meat except it has not come from a dead animal

be completely 100% ethical from an animal welfare perspective; no real animals have experienced any harm or discomfort at any point in the manufacturing process

be completely on a par with your current chosen diet in terms of other ethical concerns (environmental impact, ethical working conditions for humans, etc etc). all ethical concerns you normally have around eating meat have been entirely accounted for & cleared by Lab Meat. yes, even that one. and that one. i know this is borderline impossible. it's a thought experiment, no whataboutism or "you forgot xyz", play along or move along. if you can think of it, Lab Meat is ethically in the clear for it.

the question is:

*reintroducing the standard range of meats eaten in your local area at a normative level for meat eaters in your culture, without any significant sweeping restrictions for health/religion/taste/etc reasons. for the sake of this poll, "omnivorous" does not have to include eggs/dairy/other non-meat animal products if you are vegan and would still choose to avoid these things for any reason. this is entirely about whether you eat The Lab Meat

**this could be in terms of quantity or in terms of eating a broader range of meats, trying "exotic" meats, etc.

***this is NOT show results. please do not answer this poll if you are not vegetarian or vegan. pescatarians or others who limit meat consumption for primarily ethical reasons can join in if you really want. but meat eaters are a majority on here and it's just not as fun if the poll is like 50+% show results, i prommy you can wait for the results if you're really curious x

[letterful]

Jean Madar, chairman and CEO of InterParfums Inc, recently told Bloomberg that fragrance is part of a person’s “core identity”. And while cosmetic companies can face criticism for conflating external products with existential outcomes [...] perfume conveniently sidesteps the problems of the flesh. It’s not trying to change how you look, but how you feel, and, for the span of a spritz at least, it does. In the age of wellness-as-beauty and neurocosmetics, the science of scent is marketing gold.

[...] I wonder if what we’re after here is not a sense of self but a (related) sense of life.

I say “we” because – despite my documented skepticism of beauty brands – I, too, am powerless against a good perfume ad.

Last month, casually depressed and subconsciously seeking comfort and some sort of release, I spent $240 on a scent called Tears by Régime de Fleurs. “What a luxury to weep,” the website read. It described the perfume as “emotion in liquid form, the romance and the sadness”. It promised “nostalgia” too, with notes of lilac to remind me of my grandmother’s front yard and frankincense to call up childhood Sundays spent in incense-blessed church pews. I suppose I wanted Tears to take me back to a time when someone who loved me baked me cookies every week, when I believed in God and goodness, and life stretched ahead of me in an endless expanse of hope and potential.

Of course, it didn’t do that. It smelled fine. I felt something, for a second. But I was still me, and I was still mostly numb.

I thought of that perfume the other day while reading the preface to Henry James’s 1902 novel The Wings of the Dove. James summarized it as the story “of a young person conscious of a great capacity for life” – someone “passionately desiring” to “achieve, however briefly and brokenly, the sense of having lived”.

Something clicked: how to explain Tears if not a brief and broken sense of having cried?

[s-ponge]

Fruits 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

[divinelasso]

happy birthday yamcha!!!

[texaschainsawmascara]

Veggie Burger stack ring set, Nadine Ghosn

[chubbychiquita]

Do you currently use scooters in public? Do you feel embarrassed about it?

sometimes, but usually only when i know there's gonna be a lot of walking involved! used one in vegas, at the state fair, and zooming around disneyworld! at first i was super embarrassed but the convenience of not being all sweaty and tired and having to stop to sit down a lot is super worth it. + i can keep all my snacks in the basket!!!

[hitlikehammers]

Maybe I’m only JUST passing through the country they’re available in so MAYBE I grabbed…

…all of them?

(and then I played with a lightning photo in my iOS update because why the hell not)

[commsroom]

do you think doug would of been into that purple ketchup...

would he be into it? ehh, could go either way. did he buy it and/or try it, if he had the opportunity? oh yeah, definitely. 100%.

[lovertm]

vegetable earrings by wolfandmoon

[littlefleamart]

(source)

[s-ponge]

Burgers n Cakes

[nocternalrandomness]

Tactical Bacon

[lesbiciousbeginnings]

Dinner in a tiny house kitchen 👯