#now I’m paranoid they all hate me ❤️

[danesdehaan]

haha hey quick question am i just bad at making friends or am i just that unlikeable!!!!

[robinhills]

💫ROBINHILL Smut

kinda scared cause this is only my third time writing smut 😣 I wanna try and make this as in character as I can but it’s gonna probably end up being OOC‼️‼️

also when you think of the hotel suite, my idea for how it would look would kinda be a mix of the penacony hotel rooms and the hotel suite from pretty women.

btw bootyhill can’t reproduce cause cyborg 🦿

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CW(s): cyborg sex, porn with plot? + aftercare/pillowtalk, established relationship, missionary, soft sex, praise, biting, hair tugging, touched starved Boothill, Makeup sex? pussy eating, crying during sex, boothill has a normal dick because I’m a pussy, cream pie.

synopsis: they're dating, semi makeup sex?🩷

“I’d travel across galaxies of torture and pain if it meant I could hold you”

~

Robin had just finished her concert, and finally got back to the hotel she was staying at, she was exhausted, but remembering the smiles she saw on people’s faces as she sang, always made her feel a bit better about her day, sure her long and excruciating makeup routine, plus the hours of dance practice, the strict diets, the hate mail, the constant business, the occasional stalkers, made it rough, but just knowing that she could have made one persons day better with her music kept her going.

But that doesn’t mean the fatigue wasn’t getting to her, and…aeons, she missed Boothill, last time they seen each other had been almost two months ago, they had gotten into an argument about how she felt like she wasn’t enough for him…and than she suggested he was cheating on her.

when they had first met, he was a “pump and dump” kinda guy, the type of guy who sleeps with a women one time, and never calls again, didn’t date, and sure as hell, didn’t stick to one gal.

of course deep down she knew he had changed, she knew he loved her, but, she was so busy all the time, and exhausted, and they didn’t sleep together as much as most couples did.

did he feel unsatisfied? Unloved? The guilt of arguing with him over something she knew wasn’t true was eating her up, she just wanted to see him again, but even after apologizing, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to see her.

She pulled out her phone, scrolling to her texts with boothill, staring at them.

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Boothill🦾🤠| 09:34

Heya Darling, I know last night we had that argument and I left suddenly, I’m sorry I’ve made you feel like you ain’t enough, and I’m gonna try and fix that, promise, 🦾 I’m gonna be gone for a few months on some business and I won’t be able to text much, I love you read✔️

Robin🎶🪽| 09:42

it’s okay, I get it, I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I know you aren’t being unfaithful, Boothill, I’m really sorry, I’ll make it up to you, none of this is your fault, I love you. read✔️

Boothill🦾🤠| 09:46

it’s fine darling, I get it, I’ll see you as soon as I can, just let me know when ya want to see me and I’ll come running over🦿, see ya, sweet cheeks ❤️ read✔️

Robin🎶🪽| 09:46

Okay, I’ll miss you, cowboy. <3 read✔️

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She sighed, her hand clenching around her phone, seeing that made her feel a bit better, she smiled to herself as she walked down the halls to her hotel room.

she took out her keycard, making sure to check both ways, before quickly opening it and rushing inside, shutting and locking it as quickly as possible, perhaps she was a bit paranoid but better safe than sorry.

Aeons, now she just wanted a nice shower, and sleep, maybe she’d order a bottle of champagne and a box of chocolates.

as she walked in, she noticed the hotel suite was faintly lit by candles, she glanced at the bed, rose petals spread across it, she slowly reached in her bag for her pepper spray, aeons, she hoped she didn’t have a crazy fan inside her room.

She peeked around the corner holding her pepper spray tightly, her thumb on the button, ready to spray.

And there he was, sitting in a chair across the room, already starting to get up, only immediately to sit back down, and put his metallic hands up in defeat.

“eh..hey there…darlin?“ he said, with an unsure tone, as he stared at the pepper spray, and chuckled, slowly standing up.

“sheesh, ya still mad about the fight? Is that it?”

Robin stared for a moment, and sighed, slowly putting the pepper spray down, her wings relaxed in relief, and she rushed over into his arms, burying her face in his neck, his arms wrapping around her waist, spinning her around in his arms. “I missed you.” she whispered into his neck, holding onto him tightly as he slowly set her down, back on her feet. “aww, I missed you too, sugar.”

“im sorry.” she said, almost immediately, staring up at him, her lips curved down into a small frown, the wings behind her ears drooping downwards.

he simply smiled, and took off his hat, tossing it. “Angel, it’s fine, really, it’s okay, do I look mad to you? Cause I ain’t mad.” he trailed his robotic fingers along her cheek.

she hesitates, but she eventually lets out a sigh of relief, nodding slowly, leaning her head into his cold, metal hands. “I know you’re not..” there was a moment of silence.

…

he must have noticed she still looked upset, because he scooped her up over his shoulder, and started walking over to the bed and before she got the chance to object, he tossed her down on it, and quickly started to undress himself.

“d-dear?…” she says after a moment, slowly sitting up, watching him, she sighed. “you want to do this now?…”

“do ya not want to?” “no I do..but I’m tired…”

He paused, and sighed, smiling. “than ill do all the work, you just lay back and enjoy it, sugar…is that okay?”

She hesitated for a moment, she didn’t like having him do all the work…it made her feel like she wasn’t pleasing him.

but the way he stares at her, it reassures her, she sighs softly, and nods slowly. “yes.”

he chuckles softly, and slowly leans down, climbing on top of her, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

“Yes what? Use your words, baby.” she sighed, her cheeks growing hot, she felt that fluttering in her stomach at his words, and she clenched her thighs together, her wings perked up a tad. After a moment, she said in a soft voice, leaning back.

“Yes..I want you to make love to me.” He paused, and giggled, he felt giddy hearing that, and planted a kiss on her lips.

“Than ya hold on, sweet cheeks, we goin all night!”

~

He proceeded to help her get undressed, making sure to be extra gentle with her, the cold steel of his hands caused her to occasionally shiver or tense, he kept checking on her to make sure she was okay. once he got her dress and jewelry off, he slowly removed her bra, planting a kiss on both of her breasts, rubbing her stomach slowly. “Mm..missed my girls…and ya nipples already so perky and hard, just for me.” he chuckled, kissing her right nipple, than her left.

She shivered, and looked down at him, slowly caressing the back of his head with her hand, her fingers curling around his hair, playing with it softly.

“Don’t say stuff like that..it’s embarrassing..” she mumbled with a soft tone, sighing, her cheeks flushed brightly, her lips glossy from the wet kisses he kept giving her.

”but it’s true.” He captured a nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around her harden nipple, sucking gently.

she let out a small, content sigh, her eyes half lidded, the wings behind her ears fluttered again, she leaned her head back into the pillow, she smiled slightly for a moment, he always found a way to make her smile.

he slowly started moving down her body, trailing kisses down her stomach, and stopping right above her pubic area. “is this okay, baby?” Robin nodded slowly, and grabbed a pillow to hold onto, pressing it against her chest, burying her mouth in it, and mumbled into it.

“Yes. Go ahead, love.” her wings fluttered again, and she squirmed her hips around a bit.

Boothill slowly sat up, taking off her underwear slowly, he glanced at it, and chuckled as he noticed her slick. “sheesh, sugar, ya already that wet?” he paused for a moment, staring at her flustered face, and he said slowly, in a softer, more serious tone.

“Atta Girl, Lift those pretty legs up for me.” She felt those butterflies in her stomach again, but it felt hotter, she felt a throbbing on her clit, and glanced down, noticing Boothill’s erect thick cock, and how swollen and red the tip looked, thank aeons he kept his dick, her wings fluttered again, she was practically salivating. she obeyed, lifting her legs up slowly, exposing herself to him. he groaned softly, and rubbed his jaw for a moment, staring down at her pussy, his dick twitched slightly, and he sighed, almost analyzing her for a moment, his metallic fingers reached over, and he flicked her swollen bud softly, eliciting a small moan from her throat, she bucked her hips up slightly. “Boothill, please…I need you..” she cooed, squirming her hips around in a circular motion, causing him to chuckle again.

“Gosh darn, darlin…you sure are a needy lil’ thing, ain’t cha?” he sighed, and lifted her legs over his cold, metal shoulders.

“Soon…lemme prepare you first, sweet cheeks.” He leaned his hands under her, groping and kneading her rear softly, lifting her up by her butt just slightly, before leaning down, and planting a few kisses on her inner thighs, he glanced at her, before taking a small and soft nibble at her inner thigh, sucking the skin softly. she gasped, before a whimper left her lips, she stared down at him, wiggling her hips again, desperately, she hadn’t been intimate with him in so long, she didn’t realize how starved she was for him since she was always distracted with work.

“Dear…please hurry up..”

he sucked her thigh for a second more, before stopping, leaving a small red mark on her inner thigh, he sighed, and looked at her. “Relax…we don’t gotta rush everything, we have all night…” he caressed her ass slowly, and planted a loving kiss right above her clit, making her shiver.

“Move that damn pillow too, I wanna hear ya” he leaned a hand up, and snatched the pillow away, she whined.

“I need something to hold onto..”

“Squeeze the sheets, pull my damn hair, I don’t care, but don’t try and hide from me.” He quickly latched his lips onto her clit, and sucked.

she moaned softly, and bucked her hips up slightly, her nails digging into sheets, his tongue swirled around her nub, his cold, metallic hands squeezing her ass, caressing her softly.

he slowly moved his lips away from her clit, only to start lapping at her entrance, sucking and probing her pussy with his tongue, devouring her like she was his last meal on earth. he made sure to be careful not to scrape his teeth against her pussy, he kept giving loving rubs with his thumb onto her hip bone, occasionally glancing up at her, his cock pressing into the mattress, the rose petals on the bed were getting mushed up slightly by Robins squeezing and tugging of the sheets. He started flicking his tongue at her clit, switching between slow and fast every few seconds, her moans and whines filled the room, her wings got droopy from the overwhelming pleasure, and her halo tilted slightly as her head kept moving around, she moved her hands slowly to his head, tugging his long white and black hair gently as she felt that familiar, hot, tightening coil in her stomach.

“B-Boothill…’m gonna cum-“ Robin moaned softly, her body tensing up, he started giving long licks, before lapping at her clit rapidly, after a few moments, he mumbled against her pussy. “cum for me, baby, it’s okay, let go.” she than came undone on his tongue, closing her eyes as her wings fluttered slightly, her thighs clenching around his head, tugging at his hair as her orgasm washed over her, moaning out his name softly.

he kept pleasuring her through her orgasm, and once she finally relaxed, he gave a soft kiss to her pussy, and leaned up.

“glory, darlin…look how soaked you are for me!” he smiled with pride, licking his lips, he slowly climbed over her, his cock pressing against her stomach, he leaned down and wrapped a arm behind her head, the other holding Robin’s hip, caressing her softly.

“Tell me when you’re ready for me darlin.” He kissed her forehead, and brushed a couple strands of her pale blue hair out of her face, his eyes half lidded.

~

After a five minutes of letting her relax, she gently pokes his cheek and snuggles closer to him, spreading her legs slightly.

“I’m ready, love.” she cooed softly against his ear, wrapping her arms around his neck.

he stared down at her and slowly moved up, propping himself up by his elbows, he stared down at her body for a moment, and smiled, kissing her forehead. “hold on, angel..” he slowly positioned his cock head at her entrance, and pushed in slightly, inch by inch, she whimpered as she was stretched by his cock, a drop of sweat dripping down her neck.

he leaned down and licked her neck softly, and started nibbling her neck, as he pushed himself in, groaning, she squirmed a bit, her breathing growing heavier, once his cock reached deep inside her love canal, she whimpers, and tenses up, her pussy squeezing around his cock tightly. he moans into her neck, and mumbled gently. “baby..you okay?…you tightened up..ya tense?” He kisses her neck and leans up, staring down at her, he moves a hand to her face, and rubs her cheek, kissing her lips.

once he pulls away, she shakes her head, and motions for him to start moving. “D-Dear…’m okay…move..please…” he sighs, and slowly grabs her arms, pushing them down, and interlocking their hands, he couldn’t feel her skin with his hands, he couldn’t feel her warmth, but he still wanted to comfort her, to make her feel safe.

he loves her so much, he really does, he can’t imagine being with any other women.

thrust

he only wants her.

thrust

he only needs her.

thrust

he only loves her.

He groans, moaning her name softly. “f-fudge!- aeons…Robin, yer doing so good..oh..yeah, babydoll..” his thrusts are at the perfect pace, the perfect angle, hitting right against her sweet spot, making her squirm and moan, her back arching off the bed, their soft moans filling the room, her eyes watered. ”B-Boothill…I…I love you so much!” she cooed, he filled her up so well, she squirmed her hips, his cock ramming into her, picking up the speed, he groaned into her ear repeatedly, grabbing her hips as he pounded into her passionately, occasionally slowing his hips down only to speed up once again, making her moans roll off her tongue slowly, soft coos leaving her throat.

“Mm..I love you too Robin…love ya so much, darlin..”

He glanced at the wings behind her ears, and suddenly leaned his hands over, grabbing both of them on either side, using them as handles as he thrusted inside her.

A loud moan left her lips, tears of pleasure spilling out, drooling slightly, her hips bucking upwards again.

he rolled his hips up in a way that hit her cervix, making her throw her head back.

his thumb caressed her wings slowly as he tugged them as gently as he could while he thrusted into her. She cried, and he almost slowed down. “baby? You okay? You need me to stop?-“

She quickly shook her head, and whined, her body twitching slightly, legs shaking, yet she wanted him to keep going, he sighed softly, and kissed her forehead, letting go of her wings as he wrapped his arms around her, and continued his thrusts, speeding up again quickly.

They both felt their orgasms building up rather quickly, and he groaned into her hair, he could go all night, but he could see she was pretty damn exhausted. “let go, Robin, just relax, I’ll take care of everything, just let go..cmon baby, you’re so close, you can do it, baby girl.” he moaned into her ear, thrusting faster and faster, and she whined, hugging him tightly, and her pussy tightened and squeezed around his cock, her eyes squeezed shut as she felt her orgasm rising to the very top.

he moaned against her cheek, and slammed his lips against hers, kissing her passionately as they came together, his cum filling her up as her orgasm washed over her intensely, her body twitching, he kept thrusting his cum into her, and slowed down after a few moments, fucking her through her orgasm as he moved his head up, staring down at her, with a satisfied smiled, caressing her back. “there ya go, sweetheart…ya feel good?..” he kissed her sweaty forehead, as her shaken breaths slowed down, and her twitching came to a stop, her body relaxed into the bed, going limp as her wings drooped downwards slightly, after a few moments, she whispered in a soft voice.

“mhm…” she paused, and stared at him with her big teal-emerald eyes, and smiled at him. “I love you.” he chuckled softly, and tilted his head. “I love ya too, Robin.”

~

after their intense lovemaking session, he decided to let her rest for the rest of the night, after all, he had all tomorrow to make love to her.

“How was it, sweet cheeks?” He murmured to her. she curled up in his arms, snuggling closer, his robotic fingers combed through her hair repeatedly. “perfect, as always.” she leaned a hand up, and started braiding some strands of his hair, smiling slightly at him.

“Heh, as always, huh? Guess you’re a pretty lucky gal.” he kissed her forehead again, rubbing her lower back with her cold, metallic fingers, it was hot outside anyways, his cool touch felt nice. “And you’re a pretty lucky man, right?” “luckiest in the world.” She giggled softly, and continued to make small braids in his hair. after some comfortable silence, he continued. “whatcha wanna do tomorrow? Shall I take my lady shopping? You wanna go see a movie?” she paused, and kissed his cheek.

“let’s stay in the hotel all day, laze around…I need some downtime” her words made him grin, and he shook his head, and brushed the wings behind her ears with his robotic fingers. “Yes ma’am.” he eyed her up and down for a moment. “Do I get to pleasure ya all day?” “of course.” she cooed, as he started massaging her thighs, and sighed, he slowly leaned down and buried his face in her breasts, closing his eyes. “mm…you a real beauty…ya know that darlin?” she sighs and kisses the top of his head, caressing the back of his head gently as she held him close. “I know, you and half the galaxy tell me everyday.” She pauses. “I like hearing it more from you though.” he chuckles, and kisses her collarbone. “I know you do, sugar..”

they lay in silence, her hands slowly caressing his head as his robotic arms squeeze around her waist and thighs, occasionally planting a kiss on her collarbone or neck.

after a few minutes, Robin yawns, and curls up closer to him, as he pulls the blankets over their shoulders.

“I love you”

“I love you too”

Fin

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OMFG. FOUR WEEKS. FOUR WEEKS OF PROCRASTINATION, REWRITING, AND BRAINSTORMING, it’s finally done! HORRAY! 😍

I got a tad lazy near the end but I put sooo much effort and work into this, and I really hope it came out good,

I love robinhill so much and I feel like there isn’t enough content of them at all! So I hope this gets popular enough just to get robinhill more noticed, because I really love this stupid silly ship 🩷

I hope it was an enjoyable experience for anyone who was reading, good morning, good afternoon, and goodnight! - Songbird

[halleyscomet14]

Hey, I'm not sure if your taking requests at the moment but if you are could you write a billie eilish fic, fem reader who struggles with ocd. I know everyone who had this, experiences this completely differently. For myself I'm constantly paranoid about germs and someone breaking into my house. I'm constantly checking if doors and windows are locked and hiding spots in my room where someone could hide just to feel safe, and making sure my room is clean 24/7 which gives me a bit of stability. I wash my hands alot, I hate touching door handles so I always pull my sleeve up to cover my hands. To make myself feel more safe, I tap an abject made from wood 4 times. I know that sounds stupid but in my mind that's the only thing keeping me safe. I just need some billie fluff, she reassures us that we are safe.

Thank you so much ❤️

as long as i’m here, no one can hurt you

relationship: billie eilish x female reader

warnings: panic attack, fluff, comfort, ocd

word count: 1816

summary: as a kid you’ve always dealed with ocd. one night when you come home from date night with billie, something’s seem off.

a/n: i’m not exactly familiar with ocd, but my roommate has it so she helped me write this! i based it off the things mentioned in the request and stuff my roommate went through. part of this story really happened in real life, and her (my rommie’s) boyfriend was there with her. shout out to my love lucija 🫶

ever since you were a kid, small details bugged you. whether it was someone not washing their hands after they come in the house, or jumping on the bed with their shoes, or even not double checking the lock, there was always something that bothered you. something that you just had to double check. when you were with your friends, it never affected them, really. but when it comes to relationships, where you share a house with them, you had to be extra cautious to fulfill your desires. you had to not double check, but triple check the locks, you had to make sure your partner was clean of germs, you had to make sure everything was in place for you to continue your day care free.

so when you started your relationship with billie, you warned her about your habits, and how sometimes you can be a bit overprotective. it was nothing too serious though! you were just looking after her anyways! billie totally understood, as she went through some mental issues before too. every time there was a reason to panic, billie would soothe you and make you feel okay.

it was day like any other. after days of planning, billie could get a day off to spend it with you. because of this, you guys decided to go to a restaurant, a restaurant that wasn’t too crowded because of billie’s status. it had been a very successful night, you and your girlfriend were having fun and you both were enjoying yourselfs as you eased into the conversation. you guys ate well, paid and got out of the restaurant. chatting towards the car, billie got the door for you before going behind her car to hop in. you were roaming through the glovebox looking for sanitizer, and when you found it you applied it all the way up to your wrist, rubbing it in thoroughly. then you turned towards billie, who was settling in to the car and offered her some, which she took. she knew now that you would have trouble holding her hand before knowing she’s free of germs.

the ride home wasn’t quiet, and you had a nice conversation. both of you were laughing after a night out; yet you were tired just wishing for a night where you could cuddle and fall asleep in each others arms. the car slowed down as you arrived into the driveway. you grabbed your stuff before opening the door and getting out of the black car. billie went beside you and held your hand as you walked towards the door. billie pulled out her key, and while both of you stud there by each others side (billie still trying to unlock the door), you let your head fall to her shoulder. billie pushed opened the door, and before you went in billie got up on her tiptoes leaving you a small peck on your forehead. you were immediately filled with love from her small acts like this, only making you blush. she pulled you in by your hand, and into house. she let go, walking in to take off her shoes before slipping into her soft slippers.

meanwhile, you also got off your shoes as you looked around. that’s not right, one of billie’s coats was on the floor instead of the coat hanger. it was summer, there was no reason to go out with a coat, so she couldn’t have tried it on. also she went out with a crop top. that wouldn’t fit her. you looked around to see if there was anything else. usually, your keys (which had a long string attached to them) were on top of the shoe cabinet, in a small bowl where other misc items where places. yet they seemed to be on the edge of the table and not the bowl. something was out of the ordinary. you looked through the door into the living room, where billie leaned onto the edge of the couch, texted someone. the bookcase wasn’t in order, and random books where placed on the floor in a stack.

something was seriously wrong. nothing was like how you left it. maybe it’s just a coincidence, you thought to yourself. “billie?” you yelled into the living room as you placed your shoes into their corner. “yeah babe?” she responded, looking up from her phone and to the left towards you. “did you check out some books before we left, possibly?” you said, as you placed both of your hands on your waist. billie looked towards the small bookcase, mostly filled with law books. “mhh, nope. why whats up?” she said turning back to you. you stared into the books in despair. “did your mom and dad come over to drop something off today? maybe when we were out?” you inquired. billie didn’t quite pick up on what you were in about. “no. they would have told

me. hey, y/n is everything okay?” she asked, tilting her head to the side a bit. “yeah. just wondering something.” you replied. you got out of the living room and went to the hall. you started walking towards the bathroom.

on the way there, you picked up the plastic bat billie had from an old photoshoot. you had convinced yourself that someone had broke into your house while you were away. you couldn’t comprehend how you could let such a thing, even after making sure everything is locked and closed. you took small steps, bat it hand. with tiny steps and a sharp turn you flicked on the bathroom light, making everything visible, everything but an intruder. you glanced around the room once more before exiting, not forgetting to close the light.

you made your way down the hall to the guest bedroom that was on the right of your study. turning on the light, your eyes searched the room for anything out of the ordinary to find nothing. you checked once more, around the blind spots and such. you held the plastic bat up high as you entered your study, the light was left on which was something you always check before you leave. something was definitely wrong and you had just proven it. the law book on the desk was opened. you entered deep into the room to see which page was on. the page was an old subject, you hadn’t studied since last semester.

still staring at the room you walked backwards. you held your bat up high, ready to hit whatever came you way. you slowly backed out of the room, until… “babe.” hearing the familiar voice, you quickly turned in fright. your acts were cut off as you met billie’s well known ocean blue eyes. you looked around you. putting the bat down, you let it clank against the ground. you make long lasting eye contact with each other. billie stood still watching your acts. she seemed calmed. your eyes flashed between the hall and her.

this felt too much. had you got something wrong. you felt fear. you felt your hands start to shake and your chest started tightening. you started panicking with the thought of putting your girlfriend at risk. you looked around the room in worry. all of this was probably visible. “babe?” billie asked you, her two hands went up to your arms, holding them. you felt her warmth as you hyperventilated. this happened from time to time, billie knew how to treat it. “baby?” she said a bit louder now. her hand went up to your cheek, lightly tapping it to get your attention. “hey… breathe with me y/n” she said, still looking up to you, into your eyes. but you were too busy making messed up scenarios. you finally looked back at billie when you felt her light touch on your arm, the rubbing motion got you out of your mind.

billie started gesturing at you to breathe accordingly. with her hand, she signaled where to inhale and exhale, as she did the exercise with you. you slightly calmed down with each passing moment. only to realize the panic you must’ve put your dear girlfriend in. everything was a bit too overwhelming at that moment. you knew that billie would be scared for you. it was the last thing on your list to make billie upset. you felt a tear run down your face, as billie cupped your cheeks with both hands.

“y/n…” she said, caressing your cheeks. your hands started shaking once more.

you broke down right there in her very arms. tears streamed down your face as you sniffed your nose in between. she held you, making you feel safer with small phrases such as “i’m here with you” or “you’re safe with me” or “nothings out of order”. everything she said made you feel a bit better in recovery from that moment earlier. she drew shapes on your back with her fingertips, the was she knew you like it.

“baby… you know nothing could have happened. we’re safe here. as long as i’m here, no one can hurt you.” she said running her hands through your hair. “it’s such and unlikely thing to happen. you don’t have to freak out. i know it’s hard for you, but just trust me you’ll be fine.” she says. you let your head out of her shoulder. still, you hic in between your sniffs. you stare deep into her eyes as she gives you a warm smile. you once again bury yourself into her shoulder, continuing crying. “y/n it really is okay. all of those things have explanations.” she says, reassuring you once more.

“i’m sorry” you murmur into her shoulder. she pulls you by your head and pulls you into a short kiss. “it’s okay, mama.” she says, smiling at you. she reaches both of her hands on your cheeks to wipe away your tears with her thumbs. “you don’t need to apologize. you did nothing wrong.” she continues. you smile back, cheeks burning as you feel how red it could be right now. you place your forehead on hers, closing your eyes. she pulls you in for a small peck.

later that they while you’re in bed, reading your book, billie comes in the room and leans against the doorframe. “hey babe, wanna try these fruit that finneas and claudia left by earlier? theyre something called starfruit or like carambola or something.” she says holding plastic bag. “i’ve never heard of them but they are amazing. living for them right now.” she continues. “oh they stopped by? why didn’t they come in?” you asked billie. billie turned to face the plastic bag. “oh, they left them while we were out. you know how finneas has a spare key?” she said as moment of realization hit both of you. “oh you’ve gotta be shitting me.” you say as billie starts to laugh.

[pensat-i-fet]

Boyfriend of the month (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**Fluffy boyfriend goals request that made me melt while I was writing it. Hope you enjoy it ❤️**

Word count: 1616

Masterlist

Wattpad

Hearing the alarm going off in the morning at 6.30 is painful enough. But the day has another surprise for me. When I try to sit up in bed, I can feel the pain stabbing my lower stomach. But it doesn’t make sense…my period is not due for another 3 days.

I get up to go to the toilet and can see the confirmation that my period decided to visit me a little early. How nice. I guess it missed me but I can’t reciprocate the feeling.

Fighting the pain, I go to the kitchen to try and eat some food just so I can take some tablets for the pain. There is no way I can go to work if I don’t get some relief for this debilitating pain.

My periods didn’t use to be this bad but a year ago something changed in my body and now I always fear this monthly day of pain.

Rúben: see you tonight! Do you want me to pick you up from work? Xx

Right, I forgot about my date with my boyfriend. And…as much as I would like to have him with me, hugging me with those strong arms, he can’t see me today. We’ve only been dating for two months and I don’t want him to see me like this. Also, my ex was an asshole that instead of supporting me when the periods got worse, just told me not to talk to him about it because it was “gross”.

I hate to be like this but I fear Rúben might do something similar. And I can’t deal with that heartbreak while my hormones are making my moods so weird.

Me: sorry, I can’t meet today. A lot of work. We can meet tomorrow? Xx

I hate lies so much. But this one is necessary. For now at least.

Rúben: I can bring some dinner to you then. I don’t mind waiting until you’re done.

Not the time to be dreamy and perfect, Dias.

Me: I have to stay in the office.

Me: looking forward to seeing you tomorrow.

And that’s another lie. My boss knows about my terrible periods and she always allows me to work from home so I don’t have to take the bus in this state. So no office for me today either. Just the sofa, a hot water bottle and my laptop. Let’s hope today is not that bad.

                                     **

At exactly 5 pm, I close my laptop and put it on my coffee table. I take a deep breath, which causes the cramps to feel even worse and just lie down on the sofa, closing my eyes and willing the pain to go away.

After a couple of minutes, I get up to grab some water and another tablet but the doorbell interrupts my little trip. Who could it be? A delivery?

“Rúben?”

“Do you want to explain to me why you lied?”

I take another deep breath and now that I’m standing, it causes me to bend down from the horrible pain.

“Hey, what’s going on? Are you ok?”

He kneels down in front of me, trying to see my face for clues of what could be happening but I keep trying to hide.

“Just go. Why are you here? I told you I couldn’t see you”.

But he doesn’t listen. He just picks me up and closes the door before taking me to the sofa so I can lie down there again.

“Hot water bottle, medicine, all your work stuff right here…you could have just told me you were sick. Are you afraid it’s contagious?”

“You definitely can’t catch this”, I say, my voice weak from how much pain I’m in.

“What is it then…”, but then he sees me holding my stomach and gets it. “Yeah, not something I’ll catch”.

His laugh confuses me. Is he making fun of me now? Or is it just me being paranoid because of how my ex acted?

“Yeah, well, now that you know you can leave”.

“I’m not leaving you while you can barely move because of the pain you’re in. What do you need?”

“Water for my medicine”, I don’t even get to finish the sentence before he gets up to go to the kitchen.

I try to sit up before he comes back so I can take the tablet and when he sees me, he runs towards the sofa again.

“Don’t move. I’ll help you”.

“It’s fine, thank you”.

Tablet is taken, now time to wait.

“You can leave. I’ll be fine in a bit”.

“Can you get through that thick skull of yours that I’m not leaving?”

“But it’s just…girl stuff”.

His confused face is quite adorable.

“Doesn’t this gross you out?”

“Why would it?”

“Because I have my period”.

He’s still confused but chuckles slightly.

“I mean, I don’t want you to be in pain but given we’ve only been together for two months, I’m quite happy to know your period keeps visiting you”.

His words make me laugh, which causes more pain from the cramps and the laugh turns into a groan.

“Sorry”, he says, putting my head on his lap. “I’ll stop being so hilarious until you’re no longer in pain”.

I close my eyes when he starts to play with my hair and just let that soothe me while the tablet keeps working its magic and getting rid of the annoying cramps.

“Is there something you want to eat?”

“My stomach doesn’t feel great but I could eat some soup. I’ll make some in a bit”.

“No, you won’t”, he says, moving a bit to get his phone out of the pocket of his jeans. “I’ll order you some from that place you like”.

When I no longer feel pain, I start to get up, causing Rúben to freak out.

“I’m fine”, I laugh, “and I need the toilet. I’ll be right back”.

By the time I’m back in the living room, Rúben has removed all the rubbish I’ve accumulated during the day from the table.

“We can have dinner here”.

“You really don’t have to stay, Rúben”.

“You know? I’m a little hurt”.

Not what I expected him to say right now.

“Why?”

“Remember the week after we met?”

The little smirk on my face tells him I clearly do.

“I had a little injury and you refused to leave my side. Then a couple of weeks ago, I hurt my finger again”.

“Because you aren’t careful lifting those weights that are heavier than me”.

“Whatever. I hurt my finger and you refused to leave my side. And believe me, a little blister wasn’t that big of an issue. It definitely didn’t leave me unable to move from how much pain I was in”.

“I get it”.

“Do you? Why do you get to look after me but I don’t get to do the same?”

Because I’m an idiot.

“Because I was worried you would be a typical man, being weird around me just because I’m bleeding. I didn’t want you to disappoint me, I guess”.

“Well, I’m not…anymore. We grow and we learn”.

I laugh because I get it.

“I’m sorry. Can you look after me now?”

“Not sure you deserve it”.

But I can tell he’s joking because of the tone he’s using.

“Pleaaaase, can you look after your girlfriend that is in so much pain and needs a lot of hugs and kisses?”

“I guess I’ll have to. How am I going to win boyfriend of the month if I don’t?”

“You might even win boyfriend of the year”.

“I’m not winning player of the season with Erling on the team so I need any other award I can get”.

While I’m getting changed in my room, I hear the doorbell again and by the time I go back to the sofa, Rúben has already placed all of our food on the table.

“I’m actually starving”.

“I got you the bread you like too. Soup isn’t enough food”.

“Thank you”, I say, sitting down next to him and hugging his side. I could stay like this all day.

After eating my soup, the bread and some dumplings I stole from Rúben’s plate, I feel ready to nap for 20 hours. More or less.

“Do you want to go to bed?”, asks Rúben and I nod. “Ok, get ready while I tidy up here”.

“Don’t take too long. I need cuddles”.

It’s not even 7.30 but I’m definitely ready for this day to be over. So I get into my warm bed and get comfortable while I wait for Rúben to be back.

It doesn’t take him long and when he gets in bed with me, I immediately feel his arms bringing me closer to him.

“Where does it hurt?”, he says, his breath tickling the back of my neck.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore, really”:

“Where did it hurt?”

So I take his hands to the area where the cramps were stabbing me today. It still feels a little tender from being in pain for so long. But when he starts to draw little circles with his long fingers, I melt.

“That feels nice”.

“Imagine how nice it would have felt when you were in all that pain”.

“There is always next month”.

“Do you really feel this bad every month?”

I turn my head slightly to look at him and his worried face warms my heart.

“Sadly, yes”.

“God, I’m glad it isn’t contagious, then”.

And this time I can properly laugh at his joke without any cramps attacking me, and while I enjoy my boyfriend holding me tight to make me feel safe in this vulnerable moment.

[sarahrogersevans]

Hey love! It’s me again :) here another ask ❤️

My Class Is Always A Safe Room- Teacher! Chris Evans xreader fan fic request

Summary: Reader deals with seizures every so often and has a few happen in Chris’s class and he comforts reader and helps her through it and lets her know they’re in a safe place and that he’s there with them

Warnings: mentions of seizures, mentions of feeling scared, angst, teacher and brother fluff, soft Chris, a lot of fluff, mentions of medications for seizures, let me know if I missed anything

~Y/N’s POV~

I didn’t always like going to school with how unpredictable my seizures are sometimes but I had friends at school plus my favorite teacher Chris Evans who always helped me to feel ok after one occurred. I walked into the English classroom and I saw my best friend Lana sit down at a desk close to me and she quietly said “hey Y/N you doing ok today?” I nodded with a smile and said “yea so far I’m ok thank you I appreciate you checking how are you?” I loved having my best friend Lana in classes with me since she know about my seizures. Lana smiled and said “I’m alright just tired from math class it’s too much thinking.” I laughed and said “oh you’re not kidding all those numbers and equations like enough already.” A few minutes later Mr. Evans our English teacher walked in and said “good afternoon class sorry I’m a minute late, please grab out your books and we will get this lesson started.”

A half hour into the class and I ended up having two small seizures it felt like I was daydreaming and not really in the room it’s always freaky but thankfully Lana was there to help me back. But later another seizure started and it was more scarier than the other one. Our teacher Chris notices what’s going on and dismisses the class to make some space in the room to help me through it.

~Chris’s POV~

Poor Y/N going through seizures, I’ve never had one personally but I’ve done research on what happens to be able to help Y/N through hers so she would be ok. I rubbed Y/N’s back and said “hey darling wanna move to the sensory corner with me so you’re more comfortable?” I could see it was coming so I helped her move to the soft couch and she sat there holding her hand in mind talking to her to get her to focus on me. I could tell she wasn’t hearing everything. I grabbed her medication from the drawer I had for her in the room and I carefully handed it to her and she quickly took them before it started and I sat there close by saying “it’s ok Y/N it’s alright I’m here doll I know it’s scary but know I’m here ok?” She sat there for a few minutes and then laid her head back on the headrest and said “C-Chris?” I scooted closer and said “yea Y/N? I’m here I got you, I know you’re tired try and relax ok? Why don’t we sit here for a bit and just hangout don’t worry about your other classes today ok? I’ll write you a note for the other teachers and I’ll help you get caught up when you’re up for it.” Y/N smiled and said “thank you Chris that means a lot that you’re helping me, I hate that this happens I get so scared and paranoid.” I gave her a sad sympathetic nod and handed her a lavender scented fidget toy and said “I know but you’re back now and I’m right here I got you doll.”

~Y/N’s POV~

Dealing with these seizures was so exhausting and frightening I always worry I won’t come fully back to where I am but just sitting next to Chris in the sensory area I felt so safe I felt like I was able to breathe again. Chris would look over at me every so often and asked “you with me Y/N?” I nodded and said “yea I’m here Chris thank you for helping me back.” Chris smiled and said “Y/N I’ll always help you I care about you I just want you to be ok, I’m glad I was here to help you through one today, his classroom is a safe place for you always will be Y/N.” Gosh I loved how relaxed talking to Chris was and plus he’s my teacher and I’m grateful he made a sensory section in his classroom and even leaned how to help me & honestly you don’t know very many teachers that would that these days. I got worried and said “w- what about my other classes? The teachers will be furious..” Chris said “no don’t worry about a thing your health is more important honey just sit and relax focusing on your breathing ok?” I nodded with a smile while starting to do breathing exercises and Chris smiled and said “good girl Y/N I’m so proud of you.”

Here ya go luv hope you like it 😊💜💜xx for @chrisevansdaughter

@fluffycutecevans

@nana1000night

@jessybarnes

@marvelstarker-mha98

@vrittivsanghavi

[panic-flavored]

I am sorry to hear about your upcoming dentist appointment, I absolutely hate those things

FEAR NOT! I’ve speedily finished my shorter rec list so you can enjoy some of the things I’m reading

All of these fics ARE complete, the coffee and mayhem series has smut in I think two? Of the works, but they are tagged and easily skipped if one so desires, and the rest are safe to read on public transit (unless you count violence as NSFW, but for these guys violence IS work so,)

I know I’ve already recommended it, but the

Coffee and Mayhem series by Sevi007 is SO GOOD. it’s 16 different works, with a combination of 200k+ words, but I promise it’s worth it. Specifically to START go with Part 2, Something’s Gotta Give, which is 4 chapters, 28k words of some snarky pre-canon nonsense, with a VERY paranoid Robotnik and a Stone who is not so secretly a little shit. This series is the DEFINITION OF SLOW BURN and I was literally kicking my feet at some parts from the stupidity. Great long read.

A Better Place by little_bugger is another pre-canon type work, (I have a type sue me) but this time it’s Stones POV, and the author REALLY fleshes out his character in some very interesting ways. Again, they don’t REALLY get together in this fic, but they do in the unspoken sense (another one of my favorite tropes) it’s 10k words, one chapter.

Seeing Ghosts by Bread_Bird made me cry I’m ngl. It’s a Robotnik comes back fic, written pre movie 2, and Stones POV is so well done. It’s one chapter, 6k words, but I’m gonna be real that I’ve re read this fic a bunch cause it’s short-ish and sweet.

A Balada in Bariloche by astramaxima, the second part of the Homeland series, Biiiiiitch. This fic has a delightful switch of POVs between chapters, a DELICIOUS amount of angst, and a worried but holding it in Robotnik that is just SO GOOD. again I may be biased with my love of angst but DAMN. Two chapters, almost 3k words

Please enjoy!! There are obviously others that I love but these are some of the ones you GOTTA read

TYSM omg ❤️

My entire face is numb but my appointment is finally over and now I can spend the rest of the day reading fanfics ❤️🧡💛

[sntofbirbs]

List 5 things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last 10 people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your mutuals and followers ❤️

Uh let’s see:

1. I really enjoy sharing weird facts. Like “you’re immune system doesn’t know your eyes exist and will attack them if they discover them and you will go blind and there is no way to reverse it” and “a completely frozen limb sounds like wood when hit by a cane” level of weird facts. The more uncomfortable the better in my opinion

2. I enjoy writing a lot. Writing is one of my favorite pastimes and hobbies even though it feels like I never have time for it. I used to draw but I didn’t have the time nor motivation to draw or improve my drawing skills and so writing became the next best thing to still give myself that creative outlet

3. My chickens and my dog. I have three hens named Poppy Seed, Cashew, and Penguin and a black lab named Onyx. Those four girls are my whole world and they make me so happy. I often get into “screaming matches” with Poppy Seed where she clucks as loud as she physically can (she’s extremely loud) cause she’s an angry bitch who hates and is pissed off at everything and I yell at her back that I know that she’s angry and hates and is pissed off at everything. I don’t have much to say about Cashew and Penguin since they’re still relatively young and new to the flock but Cashew is just about excited for everything. She runs to every thing everywhere. You will look outside and see her running off to go see or do something, always running. Penguin is the youngest and the most paranoid and flightiest. I’m honestly surprised that this chicken hasn’t had a heart attack yet and she’s barely a year old. Her breed is supposed to live for 12 years but I’ll be surprised if she makes it past three before dropping dead of paranoia. Then there’s my sweet dog Onyx who is the biggest sweetheart of a dog I’ve ever had. She’s so incredibly sweet and she does that dog thing where she’ll spin in a circle a few times before laying down. She does this adorable thing where when I’m fixing her dinner, she’ll jump up and down and run around and I’ve nicknamed it “the dinner dance” and it makes my night. Every Sunday I make pancakes and I make Onyx and her brother Barley their own mini pancakes. She was already kind of a chubby girl when I got her and those pancakes certainly are not helping her lose any weight but she’s happy and it’s not affecting her health so that’s really all I can ask for.

4. Talking about my current hyperfixations. I have ADHD and autism and I’m currently and mainly hyperfixated on Star Wars at the moment. I love Star Wars and mainly the Clone Wars era and the Bad Batch. I think that it might be one of those interests that doesn’t go away since they’re constantly coming out with new stuff and I’ve been hyper fixated on it for a bit over a year now and it’s something I don’t think is going away anytime soon. I love talking about those silly little copy and paste men and anything else Star Wars related.

And finally:

5. Old things. I love old and vintage things. I find things like that incredibly interesting and intriguing. I really want to start collecting glass made with radium cause 1. it cool and 2. it’s pretty. There’s this really really cool car in my town that I’m pretty sure is a Ford T Model and she’s in beautiful condition from what I can tell when I drive past her. I really wanted to salvage this old wall phone from my great uncle’s place after he passed away. When I say wall phone I mean old 1920’s wall phone not something from the 90’s. It still had the mouth piece attached to it and I wanted it so bad but I never got the chance to rescue it before some people that had threatened to sue my uncle decades ago moved in for whatever reason. I still have one of my grandmother’s old suitcases that were big and boxy and beautiful. I also have a 100+ year old gun that my great uncle (the same one with the wall phone) gave me when I was around ten that you can actually attach a bayonet to the end of the barrel which is really cool. I really want to get a pretty little old radio and see if I can possibly get it to work or salvage it. I find old things so incredibly cool so yeah.

[bigolgay]

had a very nice nap indeed, i almost fell asleep in my lecture so it was nap time afterwards haha, i hope you had a nice nap too!!

oh i can hardly believe that is true, but i appreciate the enthusiasm hehe :) well, as of right now you’re the only person who thinks i’m gonna do good, i have no idea what’s going on in most of my classes to be honest, but i still have like more than a month to catch up i guess? that’s very sweet of you to offer, i might need you to do that actually :‘) totally rocking it, not tonight though…not feeling tired in the slightest and it’s past 3am alreadyyy :))

don’t damage your vocal chords though love, can’t have you lose that pretty voice of yours, can we? ;) well, i think all of that is just what makes you a very considerate friend? or is this how it’s supposed to be? i don’t know haha, maybe i just think that because i have very very low standards when it comes to who my friends are. don’t worry though, this sounds like i have really bad friends…which is not the case, but you know some of them are just special little creatures…anyways! this made me think, i’m gonna write my thoughts down tomorrow, thank you for making my brain work!

hmm you’re very confident in your abilities, i like it ;) oh i think you couldn’t leave me disappointed if you tried ;) i don’t know, maybe that’s just my brain being a bit mean to me again? you’re very good at explaining those thoughts away right now though :) by the way i think you’re doing a fantastic job at maintaining this conversation hehe :))

hmm i would say symbolism? but at the same time i’m not really sure what a giraffe could stand for in a dream… i mean i’d hate to disappoint you but…you running from a giraffe in my imagination is sadly not looking very sexy hahaha :))) of course you were paranoid, very creepy dream! wonderful!

that’s alright, i mean you had a little nap today so bedtime can be pushed back a bit :) sounds like you’ll have a busy day tomorrow! i hope you had some dinner by now, maybe drink a bit of water before you head to bed :) sleep well and sweet dreams! <3

I’m guessing the lecture wasn’t a particularly interesting one I take it?🤣i think so? I don’t remember now. It wasn’t a bad one though.

IT IS. That’s like… omg, still getting all the fluttery feelings just thinking about it again. Sosososo sweet🫣. Well, whether you do great or not, as long as you do your best then it can’t go wrong. And I believe in you. See? You have a whole month to catch up, you’ll get it. And if not, hey ho! You’re still awesome and magical as hell. Hehe I’ll see what I can do, but I think you’re gonna do fine love🫶🏼tonight is just not a night for good sleep I think, it’s 3am now for me hehe. But I’ll be headed to bed after I finish typing this😌

How do you know my voice is pretty?😏I could sound like a total dumbass and you wouldn’t know😉but don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of my vocal chords… but I may have to duct tape my mouth closed when I read your messages… to prevent anymore screaming into pillows or whatever🤣. I feel like it’s just how it’s supposed to be? I don’t think I’m doing anything particularly special. Maybe the picking up totally new interests is a bit further than the norm, but still… I wouldn’t say it’s anything extraordinary. I sincerely hope your friends show interest in everything you have to say, because you deserve to be listened to my darling❤️and yes, I do know, I have a few special little creatures for friends myself🤣… you’re welcome? What did I do to warrant thanks?🫣

Mhm, I’d say fairly confident yeah😉and good to know…😏. Hm well if that’s true, just imagine how pleased you’ll be when I’m actively trying not to disappoint😉I think so sweetheart. Your brain is being far too mean to you. I’m glad I’m doing a good job at making those thoughts go away, you really are wonderful, my dear. Your brain should tell you so too. Thank you very much! It’s almost easy with you? Natural I guess, with most people it’s not this easy, so this is a welcome change. Once again, I think this is just further proof of your sheer awesomeness. Making conversation easy for me is no simple task. Only a few people can do such a thing.

Yeah… that’s some weird symbolism. Maybe it’s symbolism for… things I’m putting off that need doing that are catching up to me? I dunno why it’d be a giraffe though… maybe because… giraffes are… big? Bigger then you’d think they are? So like… stuff is catching up to me and they all are being perceived as being much bigger than they are? I dunno, I took a psychology a level and suddenly I think I’m a psychologist🤣(this is a joke, I don’t actually think this btw). Damn… not even if I tell you that in one of the dreams I did a super cool slide over a car bonnet? AND I slid across a dirt floor to go under something. How about now? Is it sexy now?🤣

I’m off to bed now, because as you said, busy day🤦I had dinner and I just filled up my water bottle so I’ll make sure to drink some before heading to bed. I hope you’ve eaten and drank something as well sweetheart? Goodnight and sleep well to you too❤️

[anonymous-higanbana]

#4

It’s been months since I felt suicidal, but it suddenly came back today. Yay! 🎉

I felt really triggered. I got so angry.

Now I’m left with these thoughts. The thought to just go ahead with it and get it over.

If I don’t the chores, just get out of the house? Sure. I’ve always thought about running away. But I haven’t ‘cause I knew I would never survive.

Sure, I’m suicidal, I wanna die and all, but I don’t want to yet. So it really messes with my head and mental health more.

I could stuff myself with the tissues I used to wipe my tears, so I could choke and die.

I could use my hand and directly choke myself, so I can die.

When I washed my hands at the sink, I saw the knife just in front of me. I could have stabbed myself in the heart or sliced my wrist, so I could finally die.

I could kill myself now, but why haven’t I? I can clearly end it all right now.

I don’t know. I’ve always questioned myself that. What’s stopping me from just killing myself?

Is it the people close to me mourning me? No. I’ve always wanted that. I want them to suffer just as I suffered. I want them to question themselves, ‘why did I not notice?’ I’ve always been paranoid. They don’t love me. At all. They’re just lying. They hate me.

So, why am I hesitating? I have yet to find an answer to that question.

I never wanted to be born. What do you mean about you don’t want me? You could have aborted me. I blame this all on you. It’s not my fault.

I live in a place where those who commit suicide or try to, are criminals. So what? You want me to go around killing people to fill in my empty void? I’ve been trying to suppress myself and wanting to get rid off myself, than be a danger to society. And this is what I get?

Thank you very much, assholes. ❤️

[starbuck]

I’ve been in an absolute shit mood this past week or so so apologies to everyone if it’s noticeable. idk what’s wrong with me but i’m just Very anxious and having one of those paranoid “everyone hates me” times that seem to be a monthly thing now? (fun!!!!) But yeah I have no idea how to make it better and I feel awful but presumably I’ll be better soon and I love you all so I just wanted you to know that! ❤️

[traumatizeddfox]

i recently started self harming again after years of being clean. my mental health has started to deteriorate more and more. i can’t talk to anyone about it. i’m trapped in this cycle of self loathing and depression and i don’t know how i’m supposed to cope. all of the trauma feels like a fever dream sometimes because i was so young. i’ve been thinking of killing myself. i don’t think i will, but most days i wake up and wish i hadn’t. when i start trying to build up the courage to talk to someone, i get anxious and paranoid and it eats away at me until i’m convinced that my friends hate me and i’m better off dead. i feel like a failure for slipping back into this because for years i thought i was doing so good, and now i’m not sure. i feel like no matter how far i run or where i hide, my trauma will always catch up to me, and i’ll never be able to escape what happened. i’m not sure what the point of this was, i just needed to tell someone.

your friends don’t hate you your brain is just mean. remember healing isn’t linear! maybe try writing a letter to your friends if talking is hard ❤️

[by-kilian]

hey babe i just saw ur psa, im so proud & happy that ppl are responding well to u setting ur boundaries. it’s weird in general u have to tell people to have common sense regarding privacy & respect but none the less I respect u so much for spelling it out for some idiots. everyone asking about u writing for eren, I don’t think ppl realize how big the fandom is now, how a lot of people are new and demand content cause they are entitled, and that self entitlement turns into disrespect, some people don’t care that they are disrespecting an actual human being over a fictional character. eren is one of the most popular anime characters out there, it’s genuinely terrifying how ppl worship this fictional character & have no care in the world over who they hurt and disrespect over it. i always come to talk to you about topics like this, lack of respect, new anime fans and their entitlement, how stuff like this rarely occurred when I was 15 first starting aot, it’s crazy how things have changed. we’ve talked about how ppl being in quarantine has had this effect on people and now ppl lack the social skills to respect artists and authors, from my POV it seems people are lacking the understanding of separating fiction and reality. eren is not real. he is not a real person. he’s not gonna get hurt if people make fun of him or disagree with him. YOU on the other hand are real, you are a human being with emotions and people don’t seem to care because “how dare u stop writing for my favorite character because u were harassed, im gonna repost it and finish it myself” like??? HELLO??? here i am ranting again, but to cut it short, you are deserving of your emotions and boundaries being heard and respected and you can take your time with anything and everything in life. much love always xx

Thank you so much, honey. I mean some people are responding well to it. I haven’t checked my dummy email to see if that person has deleted that doc cause if they’re rude about it, I really don’t need that small annoyance impacting my week so it’s whatever. And I’m still dealing with reposts so it’s just something I have to get used to and will take down when I have time. 

It is awful that I have to *beg* people or even ask them or remind them to be kind lmao. 

However! What I will say is no one on this blog is bothering me about writing for Eren—the only time I’ve seen this discourse~ is twitter, which I occasionally search my name just to make sure no one has found me (yes, I am that paranoid) and saw that the few who have were watching my account to see when or if I’d write for him again which activated the petty in me 😂. All of you are fine though, so please, no one feel like they crossed a line or did anything wrong—you haven’t. 

I totally agree with you that people act insane over fictional characters and have a lot of trouble nowadays separating reality from fiction and vice versa. Some of the hate I received during that whole time was because people were mad I turned their fav fictional character into XYZ, and I didn’t even know how to tell them he wasn’t real because clearly they were beyond saving. Like you said—Eren is not the real person, but I am and if people are awful, the only person who gets impacted is me, the real person—not him, the fictional one LMAO. I’m glad that some people know that, like all of you, but it’s a shame not everyone does. It really shouldn’t have to be explained. 💀

And thank you always for your support and love. I’m very thankful to have all of you and this small community of readers again, not readers who only followed me for clout/popularity purposes or whatever else. I love y’all so hard! ❤️ Hope you are well and taking care of yourself. 

[one-abuse-survivor]

Emma again :) it’s literally 3:41 in the morning where I am and I needed to get this out so I could go back to sleep. My parents went back home earlier in the day (after stocking my kitchen and pantry). My brother doesn’t come to town for a few days (I thought Monday but he meant mid-week). It’s the first night I’m alone since everything and it’s hard. About an hour ago, I was woken from my sleep by a loud banging on my front door. It was so loud, it woke my neighbors (the guys across the hall). It could have woken the other ones too, they may have just decided not to check it out. It was loud! I saw through the peephole that it was him, he said he came to apologize (it was literally past 2:30 in the morning, who assaults someone then comes to their home banging at the door this late to apologize)? My neighbors opened their door to check on the noise so I felt comfortable enough to open my door. He had balloons, a card, a teddy bear about half the size of me and a bag of candy. He had some words with the guys but when he saw me, he gave me his undivided attention and asked for my forgiveness. I said yeah even though I don’t truly forgive him; I said it to keep the peace so he can leave without causing an issue but he thought it was an invite to come inside my apartment and talk things out. So I told him the truth before he could walk inside, I said I wasn’t capable of forgiving him right now, not with the constant reminder of what he did still lingering (the cast for my wrist uncomfortable and stiff and my ribs have healed some but they still hurt especially when I laugh or bend over so I take meds for the pain and not to mention I got the stitches out of my forehead just last week). I hate that I feel like I have to defend and explain why I don’t forgive him. The timing of it is weird too and idk if I’m being paranoid or not. It’s the first time I’ve been alone in three weeks and he just by chance decides to knock on my door now (not when Zo or my parents happen to be here, spending the night). I keep telling myself I’m being paranoid but the last time I told myself that, I was being harassed for months and eventually assaulted. Anyway, my guys didn’t leave me alone for one second. Two of them even walked him outside when I got tired of talking and saying the same thing over and over again. He left the gifts outside my door in the hall; I’m going to take them to the trash in the morning. Right now, my guys are camped out in my livingroom asleep. I’m in my room, trying to get back to sleep but my mind is running a mile a minute so I’m hoping writing this out helps clear it enough to go back to sleep. Especially considering I’m back to work in a few hours for the first time since the attack.

(previous ask)

Hi! I really hope you could get some sleep after this ❤️

If you could see the face I pulled while reading this... Who the hell bangs on someone's door at two in the morning to apologise?! No one, that's who. I'm really glad your neighbours were there with you at least and you weren't alone with him, but ugh. I'm really sorry he walked into your apartment. He did not have the right to do that. He did it anyway. That is a huge HUGE red flag (not that we need it to know he's dangerous and abusive at this point) and sounds terrifying to have to deal with. Especially at 2am in the morning; but at any point. He had no right to walk into your house just because your door was open. He had no right to even be trying to apologise in the first place. He kicked you after leaving you unconscious and with a concussion. This isn't a matter of forgiveness, this is assault. And I don't know what goes on in his head, but it sounds to me like he might've been trying to guilt-trip you into not pressing charges, or to make you feel unsure whether what he did was as bad as it was. It sounds like he's either trying to paint it all as an unfortunate accident, or trying to send the message that you either let this go or he'll keep on harassing you. Or maybe he was just freaking out and trying to do damage control, but considering the timing, I highly doubt that. He wanted to have you alone on purpose. And who knows how long he'd have stayed there if you hadn't opened the door. And he had the audacity to bring you stuff too :/ ugh. Just ugh.

Do you think there's any footage of that you can use as proof in the future if you do decide to press charges in the end, or take other legal action?

I'll be honest, it could be a coincidence. But that's a huge and extremely convenient coincidence. And I do think it's better to assume the worst and be too careful than to not be careful enough, because the implications that he (or the other harassers) knows what goes on inside your house and when you're alone are... terrifying.

Can your neighbours spend the nights with you until your brother arrives? Do you have some security in place on your door in case he tries to talk to you again?

I'm really sorry you have to deal with this, Emma. You don't deserve any of this stress, especially not after everything they've already put you through 😔