#now that i am on my second playthrough i tend to take my sweet time to wander around towns and villages

[ladyinthebluebox]

Paying respects to the fallen…

[5lazarus]

So Much Lore! So Much Information!

Dorian has a wonderful conversation with the Skyhold Librarian about improvements to the library's filing system and the innovations coming out of Minrathous when Vivienne comes by and points out he's just talking to himself. He's been waxing rhapsodic about the Tevinter equivalent of the Dewey decimal system to a spirit--or maybe a demon.

So clearly they must investigate. The first time I played DAI, the Librarian didn't spawn! He was quite a surprise during my second playthrough--so I got to thinking, what if he were a spirit? And what sort of spirit would he be?

The song Dorian hears in the brothel, that Solas sings, is one of the most beautiful love songs I've ever heard-- "Lamma Bada Yatathanna," which was composed in Al-Andalus. Here's my favorite version. The other song he sings to himself as he paints is a poem by Tolkien. I like this arrangement! There's a background story in those songs, if you check out the lyrics. ;) Read on Archive of Our Own here.

Dorian’s having a wonderful conversation with the new librarian in the Skyhold library about proper filing systems, and he’s really starting to have faith in the Inquisition’s ability to pull together an organization actually organized to take on Corypheus and the Tevinter elite. He’s telling him about the latest innovation of folding actual waves of sound into crystals in Minrathous when Vivienne saunters by.

“Darling, shush,” she says as she goes. “We must have quiet in the library, and you’re scaring our guests, talking to yourself.”

Dorian reddens. “I am not monologuing!” he protests. “We’re having a conversation, aren’t we, er—“ He realizes he hasn’t actually asked for the librarian’s name, but he turns to him for back-up anyway. He’ll ignore the misstep, Dorian is so pretty, he can carry this away.

But there is no one there.

Vivienne says very calmly, “Did you think you were speaking to someone?”

Dorian says, “I’m not twelve, it wasn’t a demon. He was just right there!”

She says, “Oh, what do they teach you in Minrathous?”

“I know how to recognize a demon, Madame,” he snaps. “There was no demon. Just a librarian. He was telling me about how Skyhold originally used the old dwarven system of classification and how they were adapting that with the Orlesian système de dépôt to better accommodate all the many superfluous copies we have of Genitivi—“

“Then it was a pride demon,” Vivienne muses, “or envy. With the way it accumulates knowledge and drew you out…”

“Oh come now, Vivienne.” Dorian throws his head back and crosses his arms. He knows a demon when he sees it. While he’s never been particularly interested in blood magic, the magisterium does tend to throw corrupted spirits in his face. He has gotten very good at defining when their reality is importuned by creatures wanted to eat his flesh and ravage his soul. “He was a bit shorter than me, elf, with a long nose but kind-of bulbous at the end. Long hair, he didn’t quite know how to style it. Lank. But everyone here needs a wash. Wore blue enchanter’s robes edged with gold. It was quite garish, really. You’d think a pride demon would have better taste than that.”

Vivienne says, “The rebel mages no longer wear the outfits of the Circle. Haven’t you seen their military uniform? This wasn’t human, Dorian. When was the first time you saw it? There are children who come to this library, and with so few templars about, we cannot risk—“

Dorian puts up his hands. “But I’ve seen other people talking to him,” he protests.

Vivienne narrows her eyes. “That makes it more dangerous, darling. We must track it down to its source.”

He’s getting irritated now. The rotunda is full of mages. Someone would have noticed if a pride demon were running rampant through Skyhold, if not himself, then Fiona, or even Solas, who seems to specialize in weird relationships with spirits. Then he grins. Solas has his work station near the stairs, where he can see all that come and go.

He says, “Let’s ask Solas if he’s seen him. If Solas hasn’t, then I’ll cede the point.”

Vivienne grimaces. She has made no secret of her disdain for the apostate hobo, both of his research methodology and his fashion. Dorian does so love to see them both get catty, so he grins and gestures in an Orlesian curtsey for Vivienne to lead the way down the stairs. She gathers her skirts and descends; he follows.

The lowest level of the rotunda smells of plaster, charcoal, and wet paint. Solas is painting again, moving rapidly to fill in the first layer of background details on his still-wet fresco. He is singing to himself as he moves, his brushstrokes keeping time. Dorian frowns. He recognizes the melody, but from where? Then he pulls at his mustache in his surprise as he remembers: one of the elvhen whores at his favorite brothel in Minrathous got all the boys singing it, it was a love song, an ancient one, that even the slaves still remembered. His gift of the night had translated it for him: “Oh, my destiny, my perplexity! No one can comfort me in my misery….” Then of course the man had taken hold of him and relieved him of said suffering, and it was a quite enjoyable night, even though the song as a come-on was a bit too obvious. Dorian pushes away the memory and wonders how Solas knows an old Tevinter elven song—but of course if confronted, Solas would merely shrug and say he heard it in the Fade, once.

At the end of the song the first level is finished. Solas takes his brushes and his palette and climbs down to the second level. He is humming as he goes.

Vivienne clears her throat. Solas sets down his paints.

“What do you need?” he asks. “This paint dries quickly.”

Dorian says, “Why Solas, I didn’t know you had such a lovely voice. Was that a love song I detected? I think I’ve heard it before—in Tevinter.” He does not add that he heard it in a brothel. Why ruin such a lovely memory?

Solas repeats, “This paint dries quickly, and if I delay much longer I will have to chip away the plaster and begin again. What do you need?”

Vivienne and Dorian exchange a glance. It is definitely a love song, but that is not relevant to their quest, and the paintings in the rotunda are quite impressively monumental. Josephine will be upset if they ruin it.

Vivienne, ever practical, cuts in, “Have you noticed a spirit upstairs, in the library?”

Solas says, “Do you mean the librarian? Yes. He has quite a wonder for filing systems. What about him, Vivienne? Have you drawn him into conversation and found him a demon of Envy?” Dorian, awkward, shifts—he’d spent at least an hour discussing the Minrathous Circle’s new filing system with him, and hadn’t even realized he wasn’t quite real. Solas catches the movement and smiles suddenly at him. “Do not worry, Dorian. He is a very old and precious spirit, and it is a compliment that he was drawn to you beyond your—finery.” He turns to Vivienne. “Well? Is there anything that you need?”

Vivienne says, “We cannot have a spirit roaming unconfined where there are children about. Even Cole demanded a binding. Surely you see the danger of leaving it unsupervised, particularly since we leave the mage children so…undisciplined.”

Solas’ face tightens as he forces away a sneer. Blandly he picks up a brush and dips it into the lead-white paint. He turns his back to Vivienne and says over his shoulder to Dorian, “I can see no harm in it.” Company dismissed, he turns and begins rapidly sketching out two large triangles, pointing down. He begins singing again, a more melancholy thing than the love song, and this time the words are comprehensible: “The road goes ever on and on….”

When they return upstairs Vivienne seethes, “He sees no harm in it because he’s lived his whole life half-mad in the woods, with spirits as his only companions, and due to the accidental of his birth he cannot comprehend the dangers of the Fade to most other mages.”

Dorian pauses. It isn’t an unfair assessment, but the White Divine’s Circles are so much more restrictive in the way they view spirits, and Vivienne, brought up in the proper devotion of the White Spire, is more restrictive than most. He’s worked with incorporeal assistants in Nevarra before, and back in Tevinter, Alexius had several bound to serve in the laboratories, and managed to keep them all from getting corrupted, too. A bit guiltily he thinks about Cole, who is sweet and infernally well-meaning. He doesn’t like the idea of a spirit like him bound up as a servant, but then he would break, wouldn’t he? Compassion is so fragile.

Then he realizes: that is the danger, isn’t it, that this spirit will break? Solas may see no harm in it, but Dorian didn’t even realize the Librarian wasn’t a man. What if the wrong person finds it?

He tells Vivienne, “I see what you mean. But let’s find out what it is, first. Now that we know that it is a spirit and that it’s…friendly, we can question it about its nature.”

Vivienne says, “You sound like you’ve been speaking to a pride demon—why do you think it will answer you truthfully?”

Dorian bows. “That’s why I have you, my dear.”

She smiles, and together they walk into the shelves. The Librarian is there, sitting primly on the cold stone floor. A little girl, an elf, is flipping through the pages of an illustrated edition of one of their many copies of Genitivi, speaking rapidly. Dorian recognizes her as the Inquisitor’s younger daughter—Mirthen? Meerden? It was something unbelievably solemn for a young girl, that’s all he remembers.

“So much lore!” the Librarian marvels. “So much information!”

“And then of course Auntie said that her cousin lied because why would we want them to know when they already call them false? Mamae says that holy things need to be kept silent. When she takes us to pray she keeps silent and only speaks if she thinks the gods want her to. But Auntie said more than that, it’s dangerous for it to be in books we don’t write because that’s setting it down and it’s like how the Fade shapes things, and we shape the Fade? The books take it away, because of the print. Have you ever seen print? Mamae’s a printer.”

This the girl says with pride. The spirit says, “What is—a printer?”

She claps her hands in delight. “Mamae said the dwarves from House Cadash invented it but it’s based off what the Shapers do to the Memories! Have you ever been to Orzammar? I’ve never been. My cousin says it’s true though, the memories are like print. You can take them out and everything. But you take lead and you pour it into a mould like a blacksmith, except you make letters instead of axes and jewelry or whatever, and then press it and you have a stamp! But if you make small ones for all the letters and move them quickly, you can make words and you just have to stamp the page. Put it together, take it apart. So it’s faster than illuminating a book but it’s uglier too, and Babae said it had less personality but Mamae—“

The Librarian says, “So much information!” Its eyes are sparkling. “Can you show me a book with print?”

The girl looks up at the shelves and then sees Dorian and Vivienne watching them. She colors. Very formally, in manners her mother must have drilled in her, she gets up and curtseys.

She mumbles, “Good day, Master Pavus, Madame de Fer.” She studies the floor; the Inquisitor’s children get very quiet around humans, Dorian’s noticed. He’s seen them chatter the ears off Varric, and they love Solas for his stories, who seems to appreciate a willing audience.

Dorian says, “Good day, Mirthen.”

Vivienne says, “Mirwen. Be a good girl and run along to Solas downstairs, won’t you darling? Stay there until he tells you otherwise.”

Mirwen frowns, but turns to the Librarian and says confidingly, “I’ll come back later. Stay here!”

The Librarian says, “I am always there for those who seek wonder.” The girl beams and scurries away, lugging the massive volume of Genitivi with her. It is a charming sight, Dorian must admit. She reminds him a bit of himself at that age, still so full of wonder and eager to share everything he learned with anyone who bothered to listen. Few bothered, of course, but then he learned to make himself a wonder to draw others to him, by his beauty, his wit, his disreputable charm.

Vivienne summons a ward and outlines a binding circle around the Librarian. It continues to sit there in its dowdy robes, but blinks curiously up at them.

Dorian says, “Well, aren’t you a curio. I thought you liked filing systems.”

The spirit says, “I do like filing systems! And I like print now, too.” He beams at them. “I never knew of books that were made of stamps before. So much new information! So much progress! It’s wonderful.”

Dorian sighs. He tells Vivienne, “Look at it, it’s harmless. It’s like a child.”

Vivienne says, “It likes filing systems. It’s dull.”

Dorian huffs. “Nothing I am interested in is dull. Filing systems—now, I grant you that Orlais is better organized than Ferelden or Nevarra, but there is no feeling better than taking a messy archive from some blood-addled magister and cleaning it up. The Minrathous system, unlike the White Spire, organizes by subject rather than mere chronological order, and then within the category organized by date of publication. So you don’t just end up with three shelves of Genitivi, and have to go through each book and hope you can find something about—I don’t know, lyrium memory crystals. In this case, I would simply go the bookcase dedicated to the study of lyrium, and head right to the bottom shelf, for the most recent publication, so I don’t have to wade through outdated work that’s long since been disproven. Or! If I do want to understand the whole study as a discipline, and see the development of the field, I can simply trace it in chronological order—“

The spirit is glowing, delighted. Vivienne herself is smiling. She says, “Darling, you need to go out more.”

“I do go out!” Dorian snaps. “I came out here! Into this miserable mountain backwater. Forgive me if I’m so titillated by the byproducts of civilization.”

Vivienne lifts a single eyebrow. “You could attend one of Lady Montilyet’s tea parties.”

Dorian says, “Do you attend her parties? Not just when she feats the aristocracy, but even when she’s wining and dining, I don’t know, tea merchants, and suchlike?”

Vivienne says, “Of course. I do delight in conversation and repartee. You might try it sometime.” Dorian laughs and mock-clutches his heart—that was a good one. “Even a tea merchant provides needed information for the effects of the Breach on agriculture across the continent. Half of the most interesting gatherings at the Court happen over tea, darling. One must keep up with the fields—who is buying all of what stock, how they are being delivered, how the merchants are devising new ways of it being served. And if there is a drought in the Nevarran tea mountains, then there is less tea for Orlais, and a new form of party must be devised.”

The spirit looks at Vivienne glittering in her finery. “You enjoy people,” it says. “The new games they devise. It fills you with wonder.”

Vivienne sighs. “Simpler than Cole,” she notes. “But more discrete, which perhaps makes it safer to leave alone. With supervision. Dorian, what do you think it is?”

Dorian says, “Wait, let’s ask it—who are you, O spirit of the Skyhold library, who likes everything from Brother Genitivi to print to filing systems to tea parties, apparently?”

The Librarian says, “You brought me here, so you already know.” The spirit smiles and suddenly Dorian sees it, the little girl running her fingers along the rows of indented print, himself breathing out a sigh of satisfaction at a whole shelf, properly organized, and Vivienne at the tea party, cup in hand, as her eyes sparkle over a piece of information that would be useful to a trader friend’s. He sees Josephine marveling over Solas’ frescoes. He sees Solas watching the Inquisitor, and then he hears the singing at that brothel that beautiful little night, the arm thrown around him, the companionship and the pleasure of it.

The spirit steps out of the binding and walks to the railing, craning its head to watch Solas paint below. “I am Wonder,” it says, almost an afterthought. “Don’t you know?”

[nightshadedawn]

Persona 5 Royal Playthrough pt3

I ended up going through two Palaces before I could update y’all. Oh well.

...Yeah, no, quit calling me Miss Special Snowflake's boyfriend. It's not happening.

Ryuji, Morgana, and Yusuke having a conversation in the laundromat: "It's like he's our mom," says Ryuji... the mom friend.

Every time Morgana is like "I have to turn into a human so no one else can have Lady Ann!" then expects no one else to hear him makes me laugh. Like, bitch, no.

I have the restaurant in my Thieves Den 'cause I like it. Yusuke, Ryuji, and Morgana are there. They're so precious.

I got a three in a row Tycoon on cutthroat!!!

Ryuji and Ann just keep going "Shoulda figured" and other versions of the statement every time I win.

Ann just rejected Morgana's feelings HARD. I am happy.

Ryuji is too good, honestly. Why would anyone not like him? He's... He's always trying to build the team up, make them proud of themselves and what they've done. I will admit that he has his moments of being not a great human, but they're teenagers who were given absurd powers, so honestly, can you blame them?

I didn't know darts was an actual minigame! There's so many minigames. I'm so happy.

I don't like Akechi. I don't know why some people do. Like, his death scene was a bit... too late for a redemption for me, right after he tried to kill Joker, several times. His pain is understandable, but still... I can't.

Their "two sides of the same coin" also doesn't seem particularly fair. It's totally uneven in everything but color schemes.

Guys, GUYS, please, PLEASE decide whether you're going to react to my teasing or not.

"We don't have to deal with them directly," Ryuji says joyfully about the mafia. Oh you sweet, sweet, innocent child, if only you knew what I do.

I literally can't play this game around anyone else because I tend to yell "BABY!" to Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke and "BITCH" or "FUCKER" to... a rather long list of villains in this game... and Makoto.

I can literally feel Yusuke's anxiety about his painting when you take him to Leblanc to see Sayuri.

How can you say Yusuke isn't gay when he says everything I do is beautiful?

I love Ryuji's 9th social link. It's LITERALLY written like a confession scene. This also means I kinda hate it because... I can't date him.

Also... PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI PRETTY BOY RYUJI

I actually kinda thought that the new scene for Ryuji being a crossdresser is kinda funny??? Is this bad??? I wanna see him in a dress, tho. I gotta agree, he'd be a natural. Not the like, painfully obviously not taking it seriously from the dancing game, though.

Though I do think it's valid that he freaks out when two strange adults come up to him and try to take him somewhere, especially in a place known for being shady, and at night.

...When Ryuji complains about it, I do feel bad about ditching him. Then again, I blame the cat.

Ryuji may be my ideal type on paper, but I'm also highly attracted to Yusuke and this is so totally unfair.

*softly chanting* butlers butlers butlers butlers

Don't mind me just... *makes meticulous plot to avoid having Makoto join the team that i may or may not write a fanfic about*

Makoto is one dumbass bitch. Like, honestly, there's nothing she does that's in any way remotely smart.

...I thought I'd just skip Makoto's scenes until she became relevant, but here I am, still skipping her scenes. Does that mean she’s still irreleveant?

"Witch" I suggest, and Makoto complains! "Would you prefer "Bitch"? I can use that too.

I put Yusuke on the team in the middle of the palace through settings, replacing Morgana, who had been standing right behind me. Which made Yusuke stand right behind me. It looked like he was holding onto my waist and standing uncomfortably close. Bro, babe, I love you, but not in front of my boyfriend and girlfriend!

Just accept the compliment, guys, I'm not going to compliment Queen.

...Opening chests with Ann or Ryuji is just so sweet because they're so affectionate and touchy feely. Especially Ryuji.

Math. Fucking. Sucks. I should not have to use math in a game. I hate this. Obviously it's the Palace Makoto comes in that this happened.

Well, I finished the Palace in a day. I love the feeling. But it was getting close there. Joker and Yusuke were down to no spells...

...Yoshizawa hasn't showed up yet. When is she getting shoehorned in?

WHY IS THE VELVET ROOM RED!?

My very first playthrough I didn't execute a single execution except for the first one we have to do. It  really screwed me over my second playthrough...

...I broke the electric chair. That's certainly something that happened.

147 games of Tycoon later and I've only been a beggar 31 times in total, versus the pure thirty wins in just Cutthroat.

They're in their summer uniforms and it makes make miss warmer weather already. It's fucking snowing outside. Grrrr.

Beat Kaneshiro! ...Wasn't a fan of his new boss battle. I'm even playing on safe mode! But whatever.

Makoto is a DISASTER at Tycoon. She exclusively got beggar all three times I played with her!

...RYUJI YOU CAN'T SAY SHIT LIKE THAT AND NOT LET ME DATE YOU.

Ann, sweeties, baby, you're doing so well.

She confessed to me, then in the call afterwards it was basically insinuated I proposed... WHICH IS LIKE FUCK YEAH 'CAUSE SHE ACCEPTED IT.

It makes me think of the future conversation where they're talking about marriage.

Anyway, if you haven't noticed, l love Ann.

My next playthrough I'm not gong to date her, though. I'm a completionist and I want ALL of the possible awards. But... I refuse to cheat on Ann. So I'll date everyone else then just hang with Ryuji... despite how cringy some of the date things are.

...If Akechi wasn't, you know EVIL and tried to KILL ME, SEVERAL TIMES, I might, MIGHT, like him. But in truth, I think that's really just the Persona 5: Revival talking. We get... into some stuff during that.

I know that either Atlus or the translators know EXACTLY what goes on in the Persona fandom because otherwise "He's too pretty to be wrong" would not be an option when talking to the newspaper girl about Akechi. I have to agree with her that his looks aren't really, you know, awesome enough for that.

Also, I read it as "He's too petty to be wrong" at first and I think that's an accurate sum of his character.

YO AKECHI-FUCK I HAVE NO NEED TO SEE YOUR ASS LIKE THAT WHEN I HAVE BOTH A BF AND AND GF.

...fucker fucking giving me shit about my fake glasses...

If you COULD date the boy out of mod, Akechi would definitely be the one they were pushing you to date. Like Makoto. Or Yoshizawa.

But hey, at least I get to not be nice to him.

I remember seeing this picture where Ann, Ryuji, and Joker kept going to the movies together and seeing 3D movies, and Joker couldn't wear the 3D glasses properly because of his own. I keep imagining that picture during this event with Caroline and Justine.

You know what? Some people call Joker a loli lover because of them, but nope! He's just adopted two more siblings. That is my stance on it.

FUcking

Fucker

WHAT THE FRRRRRRRR

FUCK YOU ATULS OR TRANSLATORS OR WHATEVER

APHRODITE AND MARS ARE FROM TWO DIFFERENT MYTHOS. Aphrodite is GREEK, Mars is ROMAN. Their reversed are VENUS and ARES. USE ONE OR THE OTHER PEOPLE.

I get very pissed about this, and it's worse with Hades.

7/4 is the day I am screaming at, if you were wondering.

My dad asked me if the other students think Joker's stupid because every time I answer a question right they get all surprised.

I don't really like Makoto, as I'm sure you've noticed, but she was super nice about Ryuji's special move idea. And that put her ahead of Akechi in my book.

TESTS ARE NERVE WRACKING EVEN WHEN THEY'RE FICTIONAL

Yusuke and Ryuji are good boys, the best boys. And they're so awesome about their special move.

AND RYUJI OFFERED MONEY FOR YUSUKE'S FOOD. And implied that he did it before???? Ryuji, you best boy.

This boys' outing DOES make me happy, though. Like, insanely happy. Dunno why.

Maybe because Joker gets to be so flipping cheesy.

...fuck you, Yoshizawa.

HONESTLY WHAT THE EVER LOVING--- Grr. Too many choices while with her. Too many. OOC Joker when with her. 0/10.

I LOVE THE FESTIVAL PHOTO

And you know, it's really hard to choose between Lala-chan and Ann, but... GONNA TAKE ANN ON A DATE

Got her some flowers. Lets see if we can give them to her this time!

"Such a good FRIEND." Babe, we're DATING. For like, TWO WEEKS NOW.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO GIVE HER FLOWERS

Ann called Yusuke a pretty boy, but then she's missing out on the REAL pretty boy, Pretty Boy Ryuji.

Ryuji, why're you so worried about other girls when you've got ME?

"I like the shade." "What are you, moss!?" Oh, admit it, Ryuji, I'm growing on you.

Cargona. Snrk. Gods, I love you, Ryuji.

Dome town with Ryuji! "Isn't it all couples?" That's the point!

I COULD GIVE RYUJI THE ROSES!?

Sadly, I bought those for Ann. Ryuji, you get the noodles.

AND HE FUCKING LOVED IT.

"It feels like I really captured Ryuji's heart!" FUCK YEAH I DID

Gonna give Yusuke the bracelet when I get the chance.

Why is everyone color coded in the chat room? Kawakami, Akechi, Mishima, and the reporter are all ORANGE. What's the point? Well, Akechi's more of a golden orange, but close enough.

While Mishima is not my first choice for a date, he's definitely not my last.

...But the boy really needs some fucking sleep. He's not drawn with the bags under his eyes, but I can see them!

It's not fair that they give Akechi a kicked puppy sprite. I'm... goddamnit, they're trying to make me not hate him.

When Makoto doesn't know something, I'm brought great joy.

NO DAD MAKOTO IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND ANN IS AND SHE IS LITERALLY R I G H T T H E R E

First day in Futaba's Palace! I've gotta say, this is my second favorite palace. Kamoshida, Futaba, Madarame, Sae, Okumura, Shido, Kaneshiro, Holy Grail. In that order. I HATE Kaneshiro's place and dealing with the Holy Grail. But whatevs, man. I love this game. (Vanilla, at least, this one is still on the fence)

I found out a cool little thing. On the uphill sand slopes in the town (don't know about anywhere else) if you're running and turn back quickly, Joker will do a little animation to steady himself. It was cool and made it seem, I dunno, more human? Anyway, while I was admiring this, Ryuji and Yusuke just stood at the top of the slope and Ann followed me while I was running. Best girlfriend ever.

Kin-Ki is looking pretty kin-ky if you know what I'm sayin'

Please don't murder me because I do terrible puns.

*we fall through the trap door* *Ryuji starts screaming* Same, baby, same.

...Makoto is seriously annoying. Like, she's got no business acting as familiar with Futaba's situation. The one who WOULD be the most familiar is Yusuke, and I'm glad he recognizes that. It's not the exact same, none of their stories are after all, but I feel like those two get each other better than even Ryuji and Joker understand each other.

Yusuke and Ryuji's special attack is THE BEST

Ryuji and Joker getting up close and personal in the shadows. All those fanfics coming true, man.

I thought Futaba was sloth, not wrath? Why are her Will Seeds called Wrath?

Beat it in one day! It's so satisfying to watch all those achievements when I leave the palace.

You know, I'm thinking of wearing the Christmas outfits for the final battle. Just to be kinda funny.

Spending a relaxing day with Yusuke after going through Futaba's Palace... kinda want to take him to the bathhouse to check out that new scene, but I also REALLY wanna feed the boy... gonna feed the boy.

Apparently I can only make 'decent curry.' Which is fine. Because "I" can't make curry at all. Joker, you've done much better than I.

THE DATE CHANGE SCREEN HAD A RAINBOW AND RYUJI WAS COMING OVER ON THE SAME DAY FUCK YEAH MY BISEXUAL BABY

...Broooooo, the way you talk about your manga is how I talk right before I start shipping.

Took him to the bathhouse, 'cause I don't gotta worry about Mama Sakamoto feeding him.

...Can I take Ann to the bathhouse?

Asked Ryuji to move in. He was all up for the idea until he remembered that I live in an attic.

I'm Charismatic now!

...I was all hoping Ann would stop by but then Akechi asked me out. Laaaaaaaame.

Ryuji's smile is so fucking cute.

...I say we just be honest, and everyone's so fucking stupid about it until Makoto explains it. This pisses me off. They're not that dumb... At least, they weren't until Makoto showed up.

Futaba's hiding in the closet. ...I've spent too many weeks making jokes about closets to not have a joke about it.

Really, Yusuke? You see those books and think she can't understand?

...Wait, that sassy tone of voice... You were TRYING to pull a reaction of her. I knew I shipped those two for a reason. OTP and BroTP. Doesn't matter, they're both awesome.

I love you Ann, but I don't think your situations were the same at all. It's not like both are valid and bad, but... different.

Joker is SO fast compared to the others, especially when he's speeding.

What the...

Holy fuck...

JOKER IS TOO EFFING COOL

THAT MOVE TO GET FROM THE ENTRANCE TO TO TREASURE DOOR? Awesome!

Damn, Joker has my heart too.

I kinda wish we could see Futaba's costumes in her Persona. That would be pretty neat.

The moment right before Wakaba appears is so aesthetically pleasing.

...Futaba being happy is almost enough for me to accept Maruki's offer, and I haven't gotten there yet.

Ryuji and Ann keep smacking each other out of their ailments. Like, you guys just love each other so much! It's awesome.

Joker has lackluster responses to Wakaba... I'm hoping that isn't one of those "Answer these wrong and you break her!" things... Not that I think I was, but still.

I liked Futaba's new animation for when she defied her mother.

I wish the anime looked more the cutscenes. I'm trying to rewatch the anime so I can pinpoint specific moments for future editing purposes, but it's kinda painful.

1- This is the SECOND TIME you've landed on Yusuke while running from trouble.

2- YUSUKE LET GO OF MY GIRL

No Makoto, I don't want to go see Futaba with you! I can go see her myself.

So, I like Takemi's new voice with her lines during this scene.

Sure, she collapses every so often and sleeps for a while. Stays like that for a few days. Sorry that I put her into a coma for a month, Boss...

SHE LOOKS SO CUTE WITHOUT GLASSES

Guys, we have a month. Stop worrying.

THE TWINS ARE SO CUTE WHILE HANGING ONTO THE BENCH PRESS

Damn, Joker's dying to the amusement of two little girls.

I'm kinda disappointed I didn't get results for all that training. But I liked the scene.

Yusuke just casually be lugging bigass paintings around.

Taking the girls to the church may have been one of the funnier moments. These cement them as Joker's little sisters. With Futaba. Damn, Joker, you got no brothers.

Yusuke promises to come by every day and we can tell him to take his clothes off. ATLUS, you have some EXPLAINING to DO.

..And Yusuke took it and ran with it. My sweet summer child, I don't think I could handle you in as little as possible on the day to day.

"The heat induced delirium made me think outside the box." Same.

Guts takes sooooooooooooo long to level up.

"Punish me more" he says, as if Takemi won't do it.

"Good god. Well, none of my medicine can cure THAT." AT LEAST WE'RE ALL ON THE SAME PAGE

BATHHOUSE WITH YUSUKE

Awe, he had fun. :)

[xyztrio721]

I found my favorite combination of characters for Xenoblade 2.

I dub this team the “Never-Ending Driver Combo Team.” It consists of Tora, Nia, and Zeke.

Click or tap on “Keep Reading” to learn about this team. Believe me, this is going to take a bit for me to explain this team set up.

Be warned, there will be spoilers for the base game of XC2, as well as NG+ and DLC spoilers. Be aware of this as you read on. There will not be any Torna ~ The Golden Country spoilers in this post, so if you haven’t played that yet, you’ll be safe from spoilers here.

Let’s begin with the set up for the Driver Arts and Blades.

Tora should have Poppi QT Pi with the Speedy Sword and Swooshing Slash Arts to inflict Break and Launch respectively. He should also have Poppi QT with the Dented Shield Art to inflict Smash, and Poppi Alpha with the Big Boost Art to inflict Topple.

For Nia, she should have a Blade that can inflict Break. I used Dromarch for this, but I’m aware of the fact that he kind of sucks in battle, so you can use a Blade with a Bitball or an Ether Cannon to inflict Break as well. If you are playing NG+, you can use Obrona, Perdido, or Mikhail for this purpose. If you have the DLC, you can also use Fiora or Elma.

She should have a Blade capable of Toppling the enemy, too. I used Gorg for this, but you can use any other Greataxe Blade for this purpose as well (other Greataxe Blades include Zenobia, Dagas, Agate, T-elos, and Common Blades). If you are playing NG+, you can also use Akhos for this purpose.

Finally, she should have a Blade that will allow her to inflict Launch. I used Ursula for this, but you can use any other Knuckle Claw Blade for this purpose as well (other Knuckle Claw Blades include Adenine, Kora, Nim, and Common Blades). If you are playing NG+, you can also use Cressidus or Sever for this purpose.

For Zeke, he should have a Blade that can Launch an enemy. I used Pandoria for this, but he also use a Blade with a Shied Hammer for this purpose (other Blades with Shield Hammers include Godfrey, Finch, Electra, Kasandra, Common Blades, and, if you have the DLC, Poppibuster). If you have the DLC, you can also use Shulk for this purpose.

He should have a Blade capable of inflicting Topple as well. I used T-elos for this, but you can also use any other Greataxe Blade for this purpose. Zeke can also use a Blade with Knuckle Claws to inflict Topple. If you are playing NG+, Akhos, Cressidus, and Sever can be used for this purpose too.

Finally, Zeke should have a Blade that can inflict Smash. I used Praxis for this purpose, but you can use any other Megalance Blade for this purpose as well (other Blades with Megalances include Perun, Wulfric, Vale, and Common Blades.). If you are playing NG+, Patroka can be used for this purpose as well. If you have the DLC, Corvin will work just fine.

I know that putting Break, Topple, Launch, and Smash Arts on more than one Driver can be redundant, but this serves as a precaution should the A.I not continue the Driver Combo on their own.

For the Acessories, Tora and Nia should have a Beta Scope (a Legendary Rarity will be the best version to use). This Accessory makes it easier to inflict Break onto enemies. They can also use an Accessory that increases their Luck stat, as a high Luck stat can better the chances of inflicting Break on an enemy.

For Aux Cores, I don’t have any suggestions for this, other than Hunter’s Chemistry to get to Max Affinity faster. If you got any ideas, feel free to experiment!

For Pouch Items, I recommend using a Dessert Pouch Item. Any Dessert Pouch Item will use, but I tend to use the Narcipear Jelly. This Pouch Item allows for Arts to recharge by 0.4 every second. It will also decrease the amount of physical damage by 4% and decreases the amount of ether damage taken by 3%. This item’s effect will be boosted by 20% if you use it on Gorg, Praxis, Ursula, or Vale. You can get this Pouch Item from the Honeycomb Sweets shop in the Argentum Trade Guild.

For the Affinity Charts of the Driver, I recommend that you have the following Skills unlocked:

Feral Awakening I, II, and III (Nia) [These skills enable you to use the Arts assigned to X, Y, and B, respectively, at the beginning of a battle.]

Hard Hitter (Nia) [This skill extends Break duration by 15%.]

Tooth and Claw (Nia) [This skill enables you to use a Driver Art after canceling another Driver Art. Successful cancellation of a Driver Art or auto-attack is indicated by a blue-colored ring appearing on the screen if timed correctly. It also has a sound cue, should you not see the ring on screen.]

Focused Technique (Nia) [This skill reduces enemy Break resistance by 25%. Do note that this skill can not obtained until NG+, as this is on Nia’s Hidden Affinity Chart. To find this Hidden Affinity chart, go to a character’s Affinity Chart screen in NG+ and press X.]

Lucky Cat (Nia) [This skill increases Nia’s Luck stat by 20. Do note that this is a Hidden Affinity Chart skill.]

Lady of Luck (Nia) [This skill increases Nia’s Luck by 10%. Do note that this a Hidden Affinity Chart skill.]

Raring to Go I, II, and III (Tora) [These skills have the same effects as Nia’s Feral Awakening I, II, and III skills.]

Luckypon (Tora) [This skill increases Tora’s Luck by 20.]

Double-Luckypon (Tora) [This skill increases Tora’s Luck by 10%, similar to that of Nia’s Lady of Luck skill.]

Nopon Chain Arts (Tora) [This skill has the same effect as Nia’s Tooth and Claw skill.]

Nopon Topple Arts (Tora) [This skills extends the duration of Topple by 15%. Do note that this is a Hidden Affinity Skill.]

Look Over There! (Tora) [This skill reduces enemy Break resistance, similar to that of the Beta Scope. Do note that this is a Hidden Affinity Skill.]

Mach Prep I, II, and III (Zeke) [These skills have the same effects as Nia’s Tooth and Claw I, II, and III, as well as Tora’s Raring to Go I, II, and III.]

Lucky Duck (Zeke) [This skill increases Zeke’s Luck by 20, identical to that of Nia’s Lucky Cat skill and Tora’s Luckypon skill.]

Move Chaining (Zeke) [This skill has the same effect as Nia’s Tooth and Claw skill and Tora’s Nopon Chain Arts skill.] 

Air Extender (Zeke) [This skill extends the duration of Launch by 15%.]

Unleash Shining Justice (Zeke) [This skill can only be used in NG+ after reaching Max Affinity with Pandoria and pressing +. This skill can only be used once per battle, and it only lasts for a certain amount of time. I’ll admit, I have no idea what this actually does as of right now, and I don’t want any spoilers on that.]

For a Blade’s Affinity Chart, get the Blades you want to use to S Rank Trust if you want to get the best out of them. Bonus points if you have S1-S+ Trust with them.

That’s all I can think of for now. If I missed anything, or if you have any suggestions for a change in the team, feel free to let me know and/or experiment with it yourself! I personally enjoy this team, as this team can make it so that you can barely get hit by an enemy’s attacks, but maybe Rex and Morag can do something that Tora, Zeke, or Nia can’t do! Maybe there are Blades that I am overlooking too? What do you guys have for team combinations in XC2?

As a final note, this team can not be fully utilized until you have reached Chapter 8 in the main story at the very least. Poppi QT Pi can not be obtained until then. In NG+, you must wait until the end of Chapter 4 to use this team. If you obtained Poppi QT Pi in your original playthrough, you will have access to QT Pi as soon as you get QT.

If you want to use T-elos in your set up, you should be aware of the fact that she can not be awakened until the post-game.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #340

“wash the poison from off my skin  /  show me how to be whole again”

What is one thing that you took to show and tell as a kid? I have this oddly specific memory of bringing my little Snorlax plushie for one in pre-k. I remember thinking everyone thought I was weird for liking Pokemon as a girl. Do you remember losing your first tooth? I don't. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I think I was addicted to World of Warcraft at a point, but it's honestly hard to tell. My depression was just so abysmal that it was the one thing I got even a smidge of not even joy, but active distraction out of because the options of what you can do in the game are essentially limitless. Are you afraid to pop a balloon? Not really, but it does make me jump because I don't like loud noises. Name one person you’d like to see this month. Bitch we fighting Covid, stay away from me. When was the last time you laughed when you shouldn’t have? I don’t know. Which was better: the first The Lion King or the second? They're nearly tied, honestly, but I prefer the original. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I KNOW my maternal grandmother didn't, and I don't believe any other grandparent did, either. When was the last time you had a bubble bath? Not since I was a kid. What do you usually buy when you go to the corner store? You mean like, a gas station or dollar store? Something small like that? In that case, I'll usually look for a Mountain Dew Voltage sometimes along with something Reese's-related. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? My cat, absofuckinglutely. He so obviously loves me. I know my snake doesn't though, considering reptilian brains just physically aren't capable of creating that emotion. She does, however, obviously trust me and definitely seems to enjoy coming out of her terrarium and thus hanging out by me. Bubbles or sidewalk chalk? I loved drawing with chalk, but I like bubbles more. I just love how they catch light and have such beautiful colors to share. What do you use to tell time when your gone out somewhere? My phone. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. I wish I still was, goddammit. I used to be so fit, and it's funny, because even back then at like, 118 lbs at 5'4'', I thought I was kinda chubby. Like bitch shut the fuck up. Watermelon or cherries? I honestly don't like either, but I'll definitely pick watermelon over cherries. They're disgusting. What is your all-time favourite song? "False Flags" by Massive Attack. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character? Biiiiiitch guess lmao. I think everyone has, though. What is the band you’ve listened to most lately? Definitely 3TEETH. Love 'em. Favourite brand of cookies? Hm, good question. They've gotta be good at making SOFT chocolate chip cookies, though. I don't enjoy crunchy cookies nearly as much. If you could meet anyone who lived before your time, who would it be? I don't really know. Oh, y'know, chatting with Edgar Allan Poe would probably be cool. Do you pay for your own things? I literally can't. It's embarrassing. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain sexual things I've done, probably. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Of course. Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship? I felt that way in my friendship with Colleen, but no romantic relationships. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape. Like no, go to hell. Do you like eating out at restaurants? Pre-Covid, yeah. What do you dislike the most about being the gender that you are? Probably how heavily judged women are for having ANYTHING "wrong" with their appearance. You could be five pounds over what is "normal" for your height and you're seen as fat. One strand of body hair, and you're disgusting. Bushy eyebrows, you're now manly. I could go on and on. Do you think that weed/marijuana should be legalized? Yes. Rate your typing speed on a scale from 1 - 10? 10. Do you enjoy tanning? Ugh, no. Just sitting there doing nothing but sweating. Have you ever written anybody an anonymous note? I have not. What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeah; we used to have one. It was the best when we lived in the woods. Do you blow dry your hair or do you let it air out? I just let it air dry. Candles or incense? I prefer incense. Can you juggle? No. Your favorite vegetable? Broccoli. Do you catch lizards? No; I don't like terrifying wildlife. I'd much rather just take pictures of the little guys and let them go about their business. If we returned to a world without internet, what aspect of online life would you miss the most? YouTube, haha. It's more unique and personal entertainment than television, imo. Are you craving anything aside from food, and if so, what? I want a new piercinggggg. What was the last change you made to your lifestyle? I'm *trying* to get back into regularly making art, along with reading. I'm also really trying to implement drinking more water into my day. What was the last thing you gave up doing? *shrug* What was the last thing to boost your self-esteem? What sort of things typically make you feel good about yourself? It really, really helped to hear my PHP group enjoy my poem about gay rights so much. I was so terrified and did NOT want my therapist to share it, but it turned out being very beneficial. To answer the second question, it's pretty much stuff like I just mentioned: positive reactions to things I create. When it comes to food, do you prefer crunchy or softer textures? Definitely softer. Do you prefer savory or sweet things for breakfast? Hm. Depends on the day, ig. What is something small that you take extremely personally? I'm blanking. What was going on the last time you couldn’t sleep? I just... couldn't sleep. That's not rare for me. Have you drawn anything recently? I recently drew a picture of a still from Rammstein's "Mutter" music video, and I'm now working on Sara's 'kat Alucard. If you're going somewhere close by, do you walk? No. One simply does not walk in this town and not fear being shot. Do you prefer colorful notebooks over plain ones? I like colorful ones, particularly those with a nice pattern or something on it. What's your most ambitious goal? I'd consider wanting to be a successful freelance photographer to be rather ambitious. Do you know anyone named Alex? Well, knew, by this point. One of my closest online friends that just got a boyfriend and fell off the face of the planet when we used to talk every day. I'm still hurt about it, honestly. What's your favorite kind of pie? I don't like pie because of the crust being so, well... crusty and crumbly. Have you ever chatted someone up and scored a date? No. How far would you go with someone you just met? Not very far at all. All you're getting is a hug, if even that. What's your favorite meal to have for dinner? I mean, it depends on what I feel like having. I don't have a set favorite meal. What do you daydream about? The future, mostly. People I miss. Have you ever known someone online and then met them in person? If so, which website did you meet on? Yes, Sara. <3 We met via YouTube back when it had much more social connection. Have you ever been to the beach? Yeah, a good number of times. When was the last time you were sick and what illness did you have? I don't believe I've been ill in any sort of way since I had that ungodly ear infection a few years ago. Have you ever been kicked out of somewhere? Yeah, Colleen's house. Mom once tried kicking me out of the car one night otw home, but I didn't listen. Have you ever intentionally trolled? No. How many siblings do your parents have? Mom has two brothers and I think one sister, and Dad has one sister. Who last held your hand? My niece or nephew, dragging me somewhere, haha. Have you seen all the Lord of the Rings movies? No, not interested. What was the last thing you watched on YouTube? I'm watching John Wolfe's playthrough of Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs. It's so funny how like... every let's player I watch doesn't enjoy the game, like they miss the incredible symbolism and shy away from the advanced language, and sometimes it's just frustrating to watch them; I only do because I enjoy the game and want to see more people experience it and relive it vicariously. It's very high on my list of favorite games. What sport do you find yourself best at? I wouldn't know; I haven't played any sports in years. I was pretty good at softball as a kid, though. Do you think makeup on guys is freaky or sexy? My opinion shouldn't matter; a man can wear makeup whenever he damn well pleases without worrying what others think. But anyway, I tend to find it attractive, especially if it's goth makeup. Have you ever been accused of a crime you did not commit? No. Do you like pickles? I love dill pickles. What was the craziest moment of your life? Probably just lying in that hospital bed following my OD, my mom and two best friends just sitting there with me. It was such a weird, weird feeling. Like I was just so done, frustrated beyond what I can say. I remember thinking it was almost funny, just how it all built up and went wrong. Where do you spend most of your time? In my room on my bed. What is your favorite muffin? Chocolate chip. Would you ever get a boob job? I already know when/if I lose the weight I want to, it will be kind of a big deal to me and my atrocious body image to get a breast lift. Being overweight ~does things~ you know, and god knows I want every trace of it that can be erased gone. Would you ever go on a reality TV dating show? That's a massive "no" from me, buddy. Would you rather be inside or outside? It depends on where I am and the temperature outside, but generally, inside. Do you like the current president? Well, I voted for him, so I can't shit-talk much. I don't know the true depths of him as a person and all he stands for, though; when I decided I needed to vote, I just did some research on his core values. I don't have any complaints yet, from what I've seen at least, which isn't a lot. Do you whiten your teeth? I've used whitening strips before, but I don't now because they're not that effective. If it's financially plausible at some point in my life, teeth whitening is another thing I want to have medically done because of my previous horrible self-care. My teeth have a clear yellow tint and I hate it. Do you get cold easily? No; it's actually the opposite: I get hot easily. What was the worst sickness you ever had? Probably this one stomach bug I had where I just threw up relentlessly. Like eventually barely even bile would come up; it was just dry heaving. My stomach muscles were in agony. Was your childhood wasted by something? No, thankfully. Would you rather die during an adventure or die like a normal person? A normal person. The idea of having such a sudden death stresses me out for multiple reasons; I mostly don't want my family to just be suddenly devastated, and I honestly want to come to peace with the fact I was dying. Like, find my life's own closure instead of just having it ripped away. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Jesus, I sure hope not. Do you have a gag reflex? A very strong one. Do you ever fantasize about trying drugs? I've wondered before what the effects of weed would be like for me, but "fantasize" is definitely the wrong word. Would you rather have sex before you’re married or wait till marriage? It'd be up to my partner, honestly, because I'm fine with either. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I never did dares because I thought they were stupid. Like I'm not gonna do dumb shit just to show you I can. Do you know anyone who has been raped? I think I might? Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Yeah. Do you have any exes you can’t stand anymore? No. Are you more of a phone or a computer person? Computer. Do you prefer headphones or earbuds? Earbuds. Headphones are just big and clunky and in the way when you use a laptop in bed, plus they irritate my skin. I like how earbuds actually go in your ears for more direct hearing. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? If I wanted children, no, because I don't think I'm capable to give a child like that adequate care, being so mentally ill myself. I wouldn't want to risk worsening their condition. Favorite thing to do with a significant other? Play games together, particularly cute multiplayer ones that are more about the experience of playing together versus getting past difficult obstacles and such. Like for example, one of my favorite memories with Jason is simply playing Little Big Planet together. Favorite ice cream topping? I don't like many toppings on my ice cream, but I do love melted hot fudge. First boyfriend/girlfriend’s name? Aaron. Do you support PETA? Considering they are incredibly self-righteous extremists, no. Do you believe in the Big Bang Theory? Well, I believe in some sort of "god" figure that created the universe, so I don't think so. A condensed ball of nothing exploding to create something so extravagant? It sounds pretty far-fetched to me. But then again, maybe that semblance of a "god" I believe in created the universe through that, idk. It doesn't really matter now, though, does it. What happened happened, I'm not very concerned with it. What insect can you not stand the site of? It's more so larvae that I can't stand the sight of, like maggots and stuff. They make me squirm. Do you like Doctor Who? I've only seen one or two episodes, so I can't say. Do you approve of gay marriage? Of course I do. I'm bisexual and would like to get married, so I might marry a woman. Are you into politics? I'm really not. Do you think the world is ending soon? Nah, even though it sure does feel like it sometimes. Ever been to a mosh pit? No, they don't seem very fun at all. Do you like to debate? NO. NO NO NO. Do you like the band System of a Down? Yeah, I do. Are you German? It's a big part of my heritage. Do your parents like your best friend? Yes. Who’s someone you can act your complete self around? Sara, 100%. She's the only person I feel entirely comfortable around when it comes to being myself. Do you believe in Friday the 13th? I don't believe in there being any supernatural power to it, no. Who is your favorite rapper? Eminem. What age is your youngest aunt? Uhhhh I have no idea. Do you like bowling? Sure, it's fun. Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I do. What shows or characters scared you as a child? Ghostface from the Scream series was my worst fucking nightmare. I couldn't even see pictures of him without crying. The King Ramses guy from Courage the Cowardly Dog also gave me a number of nightmares. Something about the way he was animated was very unnatural and unnerving to me.

[finleyjayne]

Break A Leg

 {Chapter 1: Auditions}

Summary: After your accident, everything in your life changed. Your shared dream of being on Broadway with your best friend, Amanda, was over. But just because YOU don’t think you want the same things in life doesn’t mean that your friend won’t see through you. Taking matters into her own hands, you end up at an audition you’re sure that you’ll fail since SHIELD Theater Company is known the world over for typecasting. And you don’t fit any of your typical actress types. Little do you know that the company’s new writer - nihilistic, pessimistic, and resident drunk; Bucky Barnes- is looking for someone out of their normal choices.

Characters: Female Reader, OFC Best Friend, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes, and all your other favorite Marvel Characters, hopefully in the long run it will end with a Bucky Barnes/Reader ship.

Series Warnings: Guys, this is based on my own experiences within the Acting community after gaining weight and height after an accident. There will be fat-shaming, mentions of eating disorders, unhealthy expectations, unhealthy coping mechanisms, also like bias based on looks.

A/N:this originally was inspired by @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan​ s follower celebration challenge. I was given the opportunity to use the text prompt “No fucks given, Next please.” Thank you Star! Thank you Thank you. Also a big thanks to the lovely @cavillanche​ for giving me a gentle nudge to write for myself and for being an amazing sounding board.

"Come oooooon, Y/N. I don't care if you don't want to go out. I haven't seen you in what feels like literal months. That's saying something since you know we LIVE together. I won't take no as an answer." Your best friend, Amanda, said as she flopped on top of you. 

Amanda burst into your bedroom this morning at way-to-fucking-early o'clock in the morning, on a warpath to get you to come out with her. It didn't matter to her that you were finally getting some sleep after working all-nighters for the last week. There was no way to ignore her either, her sunny personality and eager persistence would cause you to roll over in your grave if she wanted you to.

With a groan, you smothered your complaints behind a gasping wheeze. "Kay, Manda, where are we going?"

 She rolled off of you with a high-pitched squeal and used the momentum to pull you out of bed. "Yay! I have so much planned. I was talking to my manager about how well we used to work as a pair on stage. I may have mentioned how much I would kill to be the Penny to your Tracy. Or the Meg to your Christine. The Judy to your Betty. The Glinda to your Elphaba." Her words started to fade into background noise as she milled on about the parts you had once wanted to play together.

  The dream used to be that you both would move here, to New York, and play in all of the big theaters on Broadway together. Sadly, your broadway dreams were not as much of a reality as Amanda's were. And you were okay with that. You were thrilled for Amanda. Living vicariously through your best friend, helping her prepare for her shows while working as a Math tutor and Accountant for a local firm. 

   It didn't help that you weren't necessarily what people consider the typical standard of beauty. Standing just under six feet tall, a little plushy about the middle, and some nasty scar tissue leaving one of your legs in a constant state of ghostly paleness. Not that people notice since you tend to find yourself just as pale as the damaged tissue. After so many failed auditions, you figured your best life was lived outside of the theater. You were happy, and honestly, you are kinda glad that you are where you are.  

 "....So hurry up, I'll pick your outfit, we have an appointment with Rijah in half an hour." Amanda finished pushing you into the little cubical shower. When did she turn it on? Where are we going? Needless to say, you did what she asked and stuffed down your confusion, focusing on waking up more before you accompanied her to yet another one of her 'private' lessons with your pianist friend.

Thirty minutes later, you were dressed, primped, polished, and not all that much more awake. Amanda stuffed a binder of music into your hand as Elijah spread his copy over the lip of his pristinely kept upright. "You know this song, I think it will be perfect. A little overplayed, but with a fresh interpretation, they'll overlook it. All you have to do is sing. They are bound to cast you. I've worked with them before, and Director Rogers values skill over appearances. So we'll show them your ability, and he'll love you."

Looking at your rambling best friend, Your confusion amplifies. Your jaw cracks as you don't even try to stifle another yawn. You rub your eyes, not questioning her pushiness. "Uuuuhhhhh, okay?" You scan through the score, making note of the cut before looking to the triangular-shaped man sitting on the piano bench. Since you had already been taken through the typical vocal warm-ups by Amanda while she played dress up this morning. You smile at your expectant friend/accompanist. "Will you give me a playthrough with the melody line in it as a refresher, please, Rijah, Repeat, and I'll join you?" 

"Of course," He said sweetly with a nod, turning to the keys and playing. Quietly you hummed along, mentally noting which registers each phrase should be sung in. Where the notes would be stretched, what you would use to your advantage. The accompaniment was simple, repeated strummed chords like most modern musical use. It gives freedom rhythmically when it comes to melodies. You could have fun with the piece. Smiling to yourself, you open your mouth and join the simplified accompaniment on the repeat. 

When the second run-through finishes with a very extravagant arpeggiation. There is a moment of complete stillness as the resonance leaves the space. You are high on the feelings of intense emotion and absolute peace, yet somehow buzzing with unlocked energy. You miss this feeling, of connection with everything and nothing, The feeling of knowing that you did something right, it's heady, and it drives you to ask yourself why you ever stopped performing for a brief second. Amanda was always saying that she would drag you to an audition one of these days if you didn't get over yourself.

 You are knocked out of your musical high by Amanda's enthusiastic clapping. Elijah looks at you with a smirk, opens his mouth, and is swiftly cut off by your friend. "God, Y/N. They won't be able to stop themselves as soon as you open your mouth!" You smile at her very biased opinions. Before she can get any crazy ideas like dragging me along to more than just her sessions with Elijah, you place the binder the music into her hands, "Why don't we go over Take me or leave me? After all, this is your rehearsal time, I'm just here to help you."

Amanda gives you a devious smirk as she nods. "Sure. You heard the woman, 'Rijah." She sends him a sly wink that you are too tired to really read much into. He just nods with a conspiratory smile and spreads the music for the RENT song over the previous. 

"Whenever you are ready, ladies," He says when he's ready. Sighing internally, you place yourself back into your 'supportive friend' role, playing out the simplified blocking of Amanda's latest show. 

Before you even fully realize it, your hour with 'Rijah was over, and Amanda was pulling you into a nearby taxi to your next destination. "If you don't let me at least have a coffee, I will not be held accountable for my actions, Woman." You warn your best friend as you eye her. You were starting to worry that you would need to be more awake for whatever plans she had for the rest of the day, You were now to the point where you could see her scheming something, but were still too out of it to figure out what it was. 

She looked at you, trying to hide behind her mask of sickeningly-sweet innocence. I knew this look and all that it implied, and it worked to shake me into a slight panic of what she was walking me into. "I don't know what you mean, Y/N. I told you where we were going this morning, I promise this is the last stop before we can go home and you can sleep the rest of the night away. But if things go as I hope, we may have a repeat of this occasion sooner rather than later." The taxi pulls up at a building with a line heading out the door and around the corner. 

That's when it hits you; That promise that Amanda had made to you all those months ago about dragging you to an audition wasn't just one of those 'get moving your ass, or I'll move it for you' speeches to get you out of bed, she was going to do it. No, she wasn't going to do anything. Amanda had already done it. She had gotten you into an audition. 

You were suddenly wide awake. The knowledge that you were at an NYC Broadway audition, with your best friend hitting you like Celie's babies being alive in The Color Purple. It is unexpected but brought with it such excitement and fear all at once. You grasped onto Amanda's arm. "Amanda Jenivive Brendon, if this is some kind of joke, I don't know if I can forgive you. Please say this is not some kind of joke." The words are a desperate snarl. The hope pressing against your chest mixed with the fear that you jumped to incorrect conclusions was absolutely unbearable.

Amanda lets out a loving laugh before playfully scowling at you. "You really haven't been listening to a single thing I've said to you all day, have you?" The accusation was slightly bitter, but you knew she was laughing on the inside.

You squeeze her arm as your panic escalates. What am I going to do? How am I going to do this? What if they don't accept me just because of how I look? Shit, what am I going to do about a resume? Your vision blurs as you watch your best friend take your hand, leading you into the building past the line of girls and down a hallway to a dance studio styled room. 

She leads you to a table set before the long wall of mirrors where a cute little redhead sits. Taking out a binder and handing her two sets of papers, "Hey Wanda, It's good to see you. Is it standard issue today?" 

With a bright smile, Wanda accepts the papers. "Sure is Amanda, Do you need a copy of the company notes, or do you still know them by heart?" 

 Amanda chuckles before shaking her head, "I don't need a set, but you probably should give one to Y/N here, She could use the distraction of going through all the legal jargon while we wait."

Wanda's eyes grew wide as she turned to face you. "Y/N? As in 'shower singer Y/N'? Oh my Atlanta, Buck is going to lose his shit!" She jumps up and claps her hands. "I gotta go tell them!"  

Amanda's hand snaps out to stop the woman from leaving. "Hey, none of that. I want to see their surprise when they hear her, especially after Tony's last casting rant."  

Wanda immediately calms, her face splitting into a devious smirk. "OOOOooo, you are evil. I love it. Want me to film it for you?"

 "It's like you read my mind," Amanda says, turning to see your expression of confusion. "Y/N, hey, Y/N/N? You in there?" She snaps her fingers lightly in your face. "Come on, girl. Wanda here is the Stage Manager for the SHIELD Theater Company."  

"Wait, what?" Your voice cracks as your heart hammers even harder into your ribs. SHIELD Theater Company was one of the prominent troupes in New York. They were world-famous, they were the equivalent to The Royal Shakespeare Company in America. Were you at an audition for them? I thought you had to be part of a Union to even be considered for an audition with them!  

"Really, Y/N? Still not paying attention? Come on, let's take a seat, stretch a bit. before they put us through our paces." Her eyes are bright with amusement as she sticks your number on the left side of your dress.

"I'm sorry? In my defense, I have had a total of 8 hours of sleep in the last week. So not the point, though!" You follow her to a set of chairs in the room. At her reproachful glare, when your voice breaches into a louder panicked screech, you take a few breaths before continuing in a harried whisper. " I mean, how am I even here? I am not Unionized, I haven't paid my dues for months! I don't have-" Your internal concerns continue to pour out of your mouth as Amanda slams her palm over your mouth. 

 "Hey, take a deep breath for me, Y/N. I need you to stay conscious... maybe I should have gotten you a coffee before we came, but you always complain that it makes your vocals all gummy." You rip her hand off of your mouth, eyes flashing with annoyance.

"Hey, you're the one who woke me from my first decent sleep this week, you can't really blame me for being a little lack-of-sleep drunk. And Coffee does make me phlegmy, but, again, that is not the point. The point is now that I know what you've set up, how can it be possible?" You whisper scream at the aggravatingly calm Amanda.

 She rolled her eyes, "Well, I told you I was going to make our dreams come true, and I have had enough of your lame excuses about how you don't want to get back on the horse. But I saw you today. You WANT to be here. I've seen your secret tears when you go over our old cast photos. I hear you belting in the shower, so I've taken it upon myself to continue paying your dues to the AEA, and cashed in a favor with my agent to sign both of us up for this particular call."

 Before you could make a rebuttal, seven people walked into the room that had slowly filled with fifty or so women while you were distracted. A short brunette plants himself in the center of the mirrored wall as the others take seats next to Wanda behind the white foldable table.

 "Welcome, ladies, It is inspiring to see all of your beautiful faces. Before we start, I wanted to say a few words. First, thank you for taking the time to come and audition with us today.

"As you know, we only hold one set of auditions for the full season and look at that, all of you have made the initial cut for this season. Now it's time for the fine-tuning. Just know that even if you don't make it into our troupe this year, it's nothing personal. We have a specific set of personalities and abilities that we are looking for. If you don't make it this year with us, don't be afraid to come back next season. 

"Now, to kick off this lovely party, let's have you line up, no particular order." The man smirks, and you gasp as you realize who the cocky man is: Tony Stark. You were being lined up for your first NYC cattle call by the eccentric, theatrical genius Tony Stark. You didn't know whether to be honored or terrified. He had a notorious reputation as a type-caster, and the only type he favored was the short, petite woman. FUCK. 

Amanda dragged you into the line as she plastered a knowing smile on her face, "Just remember, sing. if you open your mouth, let that beautiful song sing from your heart." 

"Sure, whatever you say," you reply to her whispered reassurances, holding your head up high as the legendary man started down the line."No, No, Yes, Yes, Yes, Sorry, Sure, Yes. Not this time, sweets. No, Sorry, Yes, Yes, Yes... " And so on until he reached Amanda. "Miss Brandon, nice to see you again. I look forward to hearing your choices today." 

"Same to you, Mr. Stark, and I look forward to showing you my progress from last year."

"Good, good" His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her for another few seconds before skipping over you entirely, "yes, yes, yes, No…"

Well, it looks like you made it through the first cut, Amanda drags you back to where you left your purse and Amanda's backpack. She shares a conspiratory glance with Wanda, who just rolls her eyes. "Take a deep breath, then they'll start pulling us up in small groups to rotate through our song choices."

 "Amanda, I'm pretty sure you voodooed Stark into overlooking me." Amanda just laughs.

"Sure, whatever you wanna tell yourself. I think it was just you being here, it's fate." Now it's your turn to roll your eyes at your friend's everlasting optimism.

Once Stark finishes going down the line, he takes his place back front and center. "Okay, ladies, now it's time for the fun bit. I'm sure you were all smart cookies and gave Wanda your music cuts along with your resumes, so now it's time to put those voices to work. We'll call you up in trios. Wanda will read out your name and call number, Thor will wait for you to count out a tempo before playing for you. Wanda?" Stark calls out the woman before taking his seat behind the table. 

Wanda smiles brightly, calling out the first three people as the Hulking blond man stands from the table and makes his way to the piano. Wow, I hope I don't mess this up. It's not just my ass on the line anymore. You are brought back out of your thoughts by a gentle tug on your arm. 

"Stop overthinking things, you'll do fine, Your resume is prime, your song choice is brilliant, and like they couldn't choose someone more theatre conscious if they had hired Idina Menzel." 

You shudder at the actress's name, "I would hope so, she's terrible."

"Yet she had been a mainstay in theater for years." 

"So what, just goes to show people don't necessarily want talent. They want beautiful mutants who can screech out songs without killing their vocal cords."

"Y/N, Shut the fuck up. You can do the same things, you may not sing in a scream like she can, but you know how to sing, you can dance- don't give me that look I caught you practicing your fouettes last week- and more importantly, you can connect. You connect in everything, you have so much to offer, and I know that once these people hear you, they will hire you. I know it."

You sigh, you weren't sure that everything she was saying was true, but you knew that she believed the words with all of her heart and didn't want to be the reason her hope died. So you just sighed in resignation before turning to the group that was in the midst of their auditions. They were outstanding, and the longer you went on, the more self-conscious of your own lack of preparation. Subconsciously you reached out to grab Amanda's hand and ended up clutching onto her dress front.  

"Amanda, Amanda, I don't deserve to be here." Your hushed whisper, dragging harsh against your throat. Your chest tightening, your panic acting as a hangman's noose. "Amanda, I don't know what I'm singing. Amanda, what is it from? What is the song's name? How will I slate if I don't even know the name of the song? Wait, what is MY name? " Your breath started to tear through your lungs, your sinuses stung with oncoming tears. 

"Y/N, take a breath, let go before you give everyone an unexpected flash." Amanda's whispered reply was almost biting in its directness. Even if you consciously didn't hear the words, her tone cut the noose from your neck. Your lungs immediately expanded with much-needed air, your fingers loosening their grip to let her replace the fabric with her own firm grip. "Good girl, now, Y/N, what is your name?"

"Uhhhhhh…" Even if you were calming down, your brain was still coming back to grips.

"The next three are as follows: Y/N Y/L/N, Amanda Brendon, and Savannah Moffat." Wanda's lyric call cut through the silence that had filled the studio while you were trying to remember your name. 

You stood automatically, all your years of auditioning kicked you into performance autopilot. Your shoulders take their place slightly back, head high, chest on display, the skirt of your dress flowing around your thighs as if they were the mist rolling over the valley at dawn. Your face hid the horror that was filling your mind, it didn't matter that you didn't remember the name of your song, you were Y/N Y/L/N. You could fake it till you make it to perfection. Amanda was right, all you have to do is sing, and they will see you. It doesn't matter if you don't look like you used to, you are still capable, and even if you don't make it, you can't say that you didn't try. Just remember what Doctor Ellis said, 'every audition is a performance, even if they don't choose you, you were able to perform.' You can do this. After all, you sang it this morning, you could see the sheet music just behind your eyelids when you close your eyes. Just keep breathing.

Amanda gave your hand a final squeeze as she recognized the look of horrified determination in your eyes. Smiling to herself as she saw the bored looks on the panelists' faces. She met eyes with Wanda, who gave her a smirk nudging the blond man sandwiched between her and Tony. Turning his attention to your regal appearance before Tony also decided to look up from whatever was so important on his phone. 

You opened your mouth to introduce yourself, and Tony's voice filled the space clearly, saying the words that had shattered your own will to find your auditions.

"I'm sorry I must have missed you before. There is no need for you to sing today, collect your things."

Your face fell into an imitation of a polite smile as your brain processed the rejection. Guess Amanda really did save me from being culled. Before you can say or do anything, though, the blond man sitting next to Tony spoke.

"Tony, you had your chance. Now it's my turn to decide whether or not she is cast. Now sit down." 

"No, it isn't too late, Steve. I bankroll this group I get to have a say. And I won't have someone who looks like her representing my Acting Company."

"You already had your say. Now sit down and let the girl sing."

"No," Stark turns from the blond man and back to you. "No fucks given, Next, please."

 CHAPTER TWO

[the-u-s-s-enterprise]

This is a long one, but I love Undertale.

Eighteen-years old, fresh out of their sheltered hometown and onto a liberal arts college with more diverse people than they had ever experienced in their life.  They’re nervous about school, the up in ante, the new lifestyle, the new freedom.  They found their place with some friends that they wouldn’t think about in a few years time, people that would come and go, and a couple that would stay, but the first step on their journey into adulthood.

This is fall of 2015.  Their parents dropped them off with a teary goodbye less than a month ago, and Undertale comes out today.  They don’t know about it.  At least not until Steam Train plays it not too long later.  They watch a cute game played and commentated by a duo from their favorite YouTube gaming channel.  It’s exactly their style, a cute, fun game with interesting and lovable characters.

The first episode doesn’t even span the tutorial, and the kid doesn’t bother waiting for the rest.  They load up steam and buy it, playing it well into the night, sobbing at the heartbreaking conclusion and not knowing that five years later they would break into tears over hearing “Home” for the first time in years.

I played Undertale because I thought it was cute, the designs were fun, the mechanics were interesting, the story was easy enough to follow.  I liked video games, but not enough to spend money on them only to get bored halfway through, so I watched a few Let’s Play YouTube channels to experience them without having to devote my constantly overstimulated brain to playing them.

Undertale was different.  I don’t choose the things I become obsessed with (do you think I would be thinking about It: Chapter 2 over a year later if I could?), but when I fall into something, I fall hard.

I played it through, and then I watched Steam Train, and then I watched Press Heart to Continue, and JackSepticEye, and Markiplier, and Dan and Phil, and streamers I don’t even remember the names of in order to see every single reaction and playthrough I could see.  Don’t get me wrong, I played again and again, too, even forcing my friends not to play it if I wasn’t there to watch.

In fact, I distinctly remember a friend, I was watching him play and telling him where the secrets were and the background for every little thing that wasn’t explicit in the game.  He loved it.  We played the entire game in three sessions, the first involved us going through the Ruins and saving after meeting Sans and Papyrus, the second going about halfway through Waterfall, and the third was the rest of the game in a six-hour session.

All in all, I can’t even count how many times I’ve witnessed the game, nor how many times I’ve read the Wiki pages, clicking “random page” over and over again until I had circled back around to the start.  If I had to guess, I’ve played the pacifist playthrough about ten times on my own, and watched it anywhere between 20 and 30 between different YouTubers and rewatches of the same playthroughs.  I’ve seen the genocide run a fair number of times, likely close to ten, and various neutral runs in the teens.

Not only that, I spent hours in the library with my headphones on doing homework, listening to not the OST, but the ten-hour extended versions of my favorite songs, “Bonetrousle”, “Hopes and Dreams”, “Death by Glamour”, and the ever so aptly named “NGAHHH!!” just to name a few.

And don’t get me started on the glitch characters.  The hours I spent looking up information on Gaster because I was too scared to mod my own game are endless.

So, I guess you could say I’m very familiar with the game.  It meant a lot to me as a young adult with fresh freedom, a story about a lost child finding a family of their own.  My first and only tattoo is of the delta rune (although people will try to tell me it’s from Legend of Zelda).

It’s hard to talk about, but I don’t have the best mental health, with constant long-running depression, social anxiety, and mild OCD, my brain tends to run a mile a minute, and I had a really hard time making friends in high school, which resulted in me not having any friends at all after my friends from middle school decided they were too good for me.

I spent the better part of my four years in high school eating lunch alone and not going out on the weekends because no one wanted me to.  In senior year, I managed to make friends with a few people, but nothing deep or long lasting.

Cue college, a fresh start where I could be exactly who I was supposed to be.  I came out as asexual on the second day there, not knowing that my involvement with the LGBT organization would lead me to realize that I was also nonbinary and a lesbian.  But needless to say, I was an outcast looking for a place to call home.

I found it at school, making a couple lifelong friends (I love you girls!) and finding a place in coming to my own leadership abilities and my desire to be a role model and resource for young LGBT people.  Always in the background was Undertale.

Here was this game, though with a few flaws, was the greatest game I had ever played, as I remarked on every little detail from the stunning backgrounds to the fun yet challenging fight mechanics to every little piece of witty dialogue.

I remarked on Toby Fox and his ability to create this game almost entirely on his own, coding and designing and writing music.  He didn’t do it alone, but so much of the game was him, and seeing someone accomplish something that meant so much to me was an inspiration.

I looked at this game and saw a breathtaking story, hints of the twist being woven into every pixel, parallels at every turn, tidbits that you had to play the game ten times (like I did) to catch pieces of backstory that were so vital to fully understanding a character.

Not only that, but I looked at this game and I saw me.  I saw the cute and honestly rather stupid love story between Alphys and Undyne, between a shy (presumably) bisexual lizard girl and a buff (presumably) lesbian fish lady.  They were awkward and uncomfortable and bashful and I loved every part of their interactions.  They cared for each other and their story being thrown in and accepted, not a word said about it except outside the game.  And don’t get me started on the guards.

But beyond that, I saw Frisk, a child without a denoted gender, which many people took to mean you could impose the gender you wanted, but to nonbinary people, to people like me, they saw a main character that used they/them pronouns without it being a joke, without it being asked about, without the characters ever slipping up or even having to guess.  They did it because that’s who Frisk is, and they love Frisk.

I see this game, this funny, heart-wrenching, sweet, and wonderful game, and I see found family.  I see a child who we know went up Mount Ebbott knowing that children who went up there didn’t come back find people (monsters) that loved them, cared about them, even after only knowing them for what we can assume is a day.

Frisk finds these monsters and they loved them for who they are.  The love these characters share meant more to me than I ever could have imagined they would, the background to my introduction to freedom, the meeting of my best friends, the discovery of myself, the growth of my leadership and motivation.  They were there.  They were always there for me, and now, today, on the day of the five year anniversary of my own self discovery, I listen to “Home” and I cry.

I cry for Toriel, who lived alone in the Ruins for years, I cry for Sans and Papyrus who take care of each other in more way than they know, I cry for Undyne who’s desperate to prove herself and protect her people, I cry for Alphys who lived with the guilt of her mistakes and wanting nothing more than to make amends for the monster she thought she was, I cry for Asgore who was so overcome with grief he became the worst version of himself.

I cry for Asriel for obvious reasons.  And I cry for Frisk, a child that wanted love and found it in the journey, just like I did.

I listen to “Home” and I cry because it is home.  It’s a story about love in the time I needed it the most, shaping me into the person I am today, even five years later.

Because despite everything, it’s still me. 

[dolphin-enthusiast]

ahhh it is embarrassing how my siblings find me in the most candid moments,, i'm just glad that the video didn't spread too far among my friends,, because i know for a fact that if it reached far enough, someone would end up posting it here!! at least they always threaten to do so... 😖💫 oh my, and morgy dear, you are one sly fox, don't think i missed where you called my existence "ethereal" in tags... you are way too sweet to me!! but really, the only thing ethereal here is you~ 💞 (2/9)

"i started watching playthroughs of the ace attorney games today (since i can't afford to buy any of them) and i really enjoy it so far!! i can't wait to watch more, and this coming week, i plan to set a day aside to watch more of our show 😉 (3/9)

ooh, something quite funny has happened today,, i put out this question on instagram asking if any of my friends want to go out for dinner with me sometime (since i was bored and i think it's a nice idea hehe) and now i have TONS of people saying yes!! oh gosh, it's quite crazy! i feel bad for it but i think i have to pic just a few people, since the amount of contenders is overwhelming,, ahhhh i do hope they'll take it well!! 😅 (4/9)

today was spent working,, tailoring clothes and cleaning the house to be exact,, it was all so tiring, and unfortunately i was the only one who was able to do it since everyone else was "busy",, mamma mia,, but i did end up having to do more food shopping today, and it started to storm super hard while i was out! i am scared of thunderstorms, so being out and about during one is truly a nightmare for me!! (5/9)

they are so beautiful but terrifying at the same time,, oh gosh, it was even worse since i was out by myself,, no one to latch onto for safety 😖 i think the thunderstorm may be related to a hurricane that is incoming towards my country,, it most likely won't hit as bad in the north (where i am) since the storms tend to die down and wash out in the atlantic by the time they reach here, so we'll probably just get more thunderstorms,, (6/9)

though in return, we get these awful storms that we call nor'easters, which are basically wintry hurricanes they are truly awful for me to live through since i do not do well with cold at all,, my friends and i actually got caught in one by accident last year, and we were stuck outside for 3 whole hours... ah that was such a scary situation!!!!we all ended up going to the hospital to get checked out since we were trapped for so long... (7/9)

everyone i know in person always talks about how we're "survivors", but i'm not sure if that's the right term to use... i guess it's the law of equivalent exchange? a hurricane for a nor'easter hehe ☁ speaking of storms, when the rain died down, i went to check on the bunnies,, and the poor cuties were soaked and shivering! i offered them my raincoat and umbrella to stay under, but i guess they were desperately cold, to the point where they cuddled up to me! (8/9)

i ended up laying there for half an hour, trying to warm the little bunbuns up,, and even though i came home shivering myself, i'm so happy that sacrificing my body heat was enough to help them!! 😊 oh my stars, i feel the tiredness hitting me, I guess that means sleepy time hehe! goodnight dolcezza, i'll see you tomorrow!! sending sweet dreams your way 💕 - love always, your adoring waifu 💋🌺💘💌🌠 ps: we must definitely go out to dinner together,, no if's and's or but's about it~! 😘 (9/9)"

Ok so before i say anything else tungle mighr have eaten the first part to ur letter and im boutta throw fists 🗿🗿🗿🗿 but either way i gotta say darling my eyes read over the words "sly fox" and i immediately c r e a s e d jhdusuxhdjs im only stating facts alright🤪🤪🤪 it wouldn't be the first time someone calls me sly but i take that as a compliment really👁️

And before we dive d e e p e r lemme tell u a lil secret....i myself did not buy the aa games so if u acc want to play em hmu👀👁️👀👁️

Ok so as for the storms thing i gotta say thats fuckin wild ur life really does sound like a move darling u know rhshxhd i do know its esp bad lately from another american friend of mine who told me that it also heavily rained in her area (she's on the east coast) so🗿🗿🗿 but ig u would be called survivors since technically u made it thru a natural disaster which is fuckin w i l d

Its nice to see that u were more productive again ofc (and also u warming those poor bunnies up? Icon 11/10 disney princess right fuckin here) but i gotta say once more idk how u do it....i'd be burning up the house when attempting to cook and shredding the clothes in less than a second🤡 my day was spent writing (smth non jojo related) then i went out and played football until my legs gave in and pain shot thru my entire body since my dumbass can go at it for h o u r s completely ignoring if i scrape some skin or shit like that just bc i wanna push thru and keep playing a h a

On another note, im p sure ur friends would all want to go out w u (i myself the most but shh) 👁️

[vecna]

Oohh for the fandom meme! Dragon Age?

Send me a fandom!

Oh boy, this is going to be spicy.

It’s also very Anders-negative, so apologies up front.

The character(s) I first fell in love with:

I’m actually not sure which was the FIRST, but it’s a tie between Morrigan and Alistair. I saw fanart of them going around at the time Origins first released, and that’s what got me to try the game! 

Alistair was a breath of fresh air, because at the time, I was used to warrior men in games being all Edgy and Rough, and he was the total opposite and a sweetheart.

And Morrigan was just instantly my goth wife, and had Claudia Black as a VA, so I was sold immediately.

Both still hold a special place for me!

The character(s) I never expected to love as much as I do now:

Loghain is the main one. He does a lot of truly reprehensible shit in the first game. But once I sat down and read the prequel novels about young Loghain, plus saw what he’s like if you recruit him, he grew on me A LOT and now he’s a top fave.

Nathaniel I expected to hate as soon as I saw his name + who his father was, but then the expansion came out and I ended up loving that dude almost immediately. I really wish he was around more after Awakening, and also really wish he’d been a romance option, especially for a Cousland haha.

Merrill is a weird one because she was totally uninteresting to me in DA:O, so when they announced her as a companion in DA2 I was like, “Ehhhh.” Then they punked me by making her adorable and sweet and now I love her.

Plus a bunch of side-characters like The Architect? I liked him a bunch in the novel + Awakening – although I found his Plan in the novel much more appealing. But as the years have gone by, I keep surprising myself at just HOW disappointed I am he’s never appeared again haha.

The character(s) everyone else loves that I don’t:

There’s a few, and all of them will get me yelled at, but here we go.

First: Isabela. This one’s a bit complicated, but it really just boils down to her attitude towards how you play your character. I actively dislike characters who are super sexual – regardless of gender. But Isabela in particular bothers me because she’s constantly pushing her lewdness and sexual humor on you, and when you try to discourage it, she admonishes you with, “Well, you’re no fun.” Her whole character is just… like that for me. Super pushy, overly lewd, gets uppity when you don’t have the same ~liberated~ opinions she does, and this is all played up in the writing like she’s this Empowered Woman the player absolutely must love, especially if they’re playing a male character lol. I hate her for the same reasons a lot of people hate Liara in Mass Effect, but with the addition of pushy lewd jokey characters always rubbing me the wrong way.

Second: Iron Bull. I’ve written a lot about why he makes me more uncomfortable than any fictional character I’ve ever encountered, and I just outright hate him, he makes my skin crawl. If you want details, feel free to DM me, I don’t really want to rant about it again publicly.

Third: Anders. Again, I’ve written a lot about him before, but. I hated him in Awakening, for a lot of the same reasons I hate Isabela in DA2. But the changes they made to him in DA2 are just kinda :/. While I absolutely agree with him about Mage Rights, the level of preachiness they added to him drove me nuts, and the fact that you’re painted as a Bad Guy if you don’t like him blowing up the chantry. And from a purely OOC standpoint: He’s become a figurehead for all the aggressive Discourse people in the fandom, and if I see someone list Anders in their sidebar bio, I know pre-emptively that their blog is going to be full of 6 page long essays of meta about how everything is Problematic, and no thanks.

To a lesser extent, I’m also not fond of Zevran. But in his case, it’s not anything major like the others, I’m just tired of Bioware’s habit of making the bisexual characters overly lewd sex-focused rogues/deviants.

The character(s) I love that everyone else hates:

Loghain, lol.

But also Sebastian Vael? There’s so much about him that I find genuinely fascinating, especially regarding his backstory, and his struggles between his feelings of responsibility to his family vs his dedication to the Chantry and bettering himself. He’s such a dear character to me, and such a pivotal part of any playthrough, I’m always blown away when I remember he’s a DLC character and many people don’t have him.

HOWEVER Anders being the fandom darling means that people tend to unfairly shit on Sebastian for reacting poorly to the Chantry explosion. People also like to label him as a poster child of a White Straight Church Boy, while refusing to acknowledge he’s… not straight, and not exactly a church boy either lol.

Also Vivienne, but I think that one’s really self-explanatory. I love her, and she gives a really needed perspective on the Circle, since most of the mage companions previously were apostates. But of course, she gets written off as a Chantry apologist, and an uppity bitch, when people would def love her for the same traits if she was not black lol.

The character(s) I used to love but don’t any longer:

Justice. And by extension, Anders. A lot of people like to rant about how Justice ruined Anders, but I always saw it the other way around.Justice was my favorite character in Awakening. The whole concept around him, that he was a Fade spirit who took human form and was experiencing life for the first time was SO fascinating. I felt like there was so much to explore there with his character.

Buuuut then they had him merge with Anders. With the narrative being that he WAS a spirit of Justice, but the moment he connected with Anders, it corrupted his entire spirit into something he wasn’t anymore. So essentially, the character I used to love no longer exists, thanks to Anders. And it reminds me of that phrase recently, about how the destination is so terrible you can no longer enjoy the journey? I can’t even appreciate Justice in Awakening anymore, knowing what happens to him.

To a lesser extent, Corypheus. He was SO COOL and the premise of him was AMAZING when he first appeared in the DA2 DLC, but then Inquisition had to go and turn him into a weird shallow mustache twirl villain.

The character(s) I would totally smooch:

None? Idk I don’t really have the Smooch Fictional Character gene.

The character(s) I’d want to be like:

MAEVARIS TILANI. May I one day finally have the confidence in my identity that she does, and also marry a sweet bear man who adores me.

The character(s) I’d slap:

Too many to list, really. Probably Anders.

The pairing(s) that I love:

THERE’S SO MANY. And most of them are with the PC, because I generally don’t ship NPCs together. But my top 3 are:

M!Hawke / Fenris is my ultimate OTP in the Dragon Age series, by a long-shot. Not even sure where to start on how much I love it, but two damaged guys leaning on each other to work through their respective loneliness and trauma is MY JAM. And lmao I love silver-sideburned Hawke chillin in retirement somewhere but being a supportive husband while Fenris goes off hunting the Bad Guys, it’s great.

Solas / Lavellan is a close second, with the caveat that I increasingly prefer it with a male Lavellan. Having the Inquisitor in love with Solas just changes the entire tone of the game for me, for the better, and him actually being the villain trying to end the world while in love with this normie elf is just (chef kiss). Too bad I’m burned out by how overly spammed it is.

Dorian / Inquisitor is in third, I will just always be fond of how it’s a story of the Inquisitor helping Dorian be happy with who he is, escape an abusive family, and realize that he’s allowed to be loved. Good shit good shit.

Some others:

Warden / Morrigan is probably my favorite Origins ship, and that only intensified with the way she talks about the Warden in Inquisition, esp if they’re Kieran’s other parent. What a cute goth family, regardless of the Warden’s gender, cause you can pry Bi Morrigan from my cold dead fingers.

Cassandra / Inquisitor might have a lot of Romance Cliches, but I adore it – although, similar others, I increasingly prefer it with a female Inquisitor. I actively dislike the weird no-homo rejection with her, and come on, a lady Inquisitor being her Knight In Shining Armor is just good storytelling.

Cullen / Inquisitor, for a lot of the same reasons as Cassandra. I love me a cliche romance, but I’m also fond of the narrative w/ him of someone he loves helping him heal through the lyrium withdrawals and take time to rest.

Josephine / F!Inquisitor is just adorable all around, and wholesome, and great.

Varric / Hawke COME ON HOW WAS THIS NOT AN OPTION.

On the rarepair end:

Sebastian / Hawke doesn’t seem like it would be a rarepair – you’d think everyone who loves Cullen/Inquisitor would love this one too. I do! But alas. That said, I’m also pretty aggro about this one with a male Hawke because SEBASTIAN IS CANON BI. WHY WAS HIS ROMANCE STRAIGHT.

Maric / Loghain is a rarepair I will take with me to my grave LOL. Never forget the scene where Maric thought Loghain was leaving, and bolted across the camp with almost no clothes on to beg Loghain to stay. Come on.

Nathaniel / Cousland is dear to me, and I love it so much more than Alistair / Cousland haha.

Greagoir / Wynne, I can’t believe this got validated in canon ahhhh.

The pairing(s) that I despise:

Again: THERE’S SO MANY.

Iron Bull / Dorian is my least fave by a longshot. Again, I have written about why I hate this pairing a great many times, but it’s awful and toxic and makes me deeply uncomfortable, and I could happily go the rest of my life without seeing anything about it ever again. Please keep poor Dorian away from that man. He deserves someone that doesn’t sexually harass him until he’s finally worn down into dubious consent (while drunk) and then outted to everyone about it.

Isabela / Fenris. Sorry, but it’s just bad writing that Fenris bails on Hawke because the physical intimacy triggered his PTSD and he needs space to process, but then will turn around and have a casual sex relationship with Isabela instead. Yikes.

Anders / Fenris. Aveline / Isabela. Alistair / Morrigan. All of the DA2 Hawke/companion rivalmances. I don’t enjoy “these two people hate and antagonize and want to kill each other… but they fuck” in any form.

Cullen / Amell. Yikes.

And basically ALL of the canon wlw pairings in this series suffer from the fact they have men writing them, and as a result they’re almost always some kind of abusive or racist, and skeeve me out. See: Celene / Briala, Leliana / Marjolaine, Branka / Hespith, etc. Please Bioware, I’m begging you to consult some actual queer women. It’s insane how badly they’re treated compared to how the canon mlm couples are written.

FINALLY, I recognize this will be the most unpopular of all, but. As much as I love M!Hawke/Fenris, I just honestly cannot stand seeing F!Hawke/Fenris. There are some pairings where I’m so attached to the m/m or f/f version, I cannot deal with the m/f version anymore, and that’s one of them. (The others are mainly non-Bioware.)

[deckof-dragons]

Glorious Victory! (Kind of)

I have done it! I have beaten Sekiro!

First off what a damn good game. Without a doubt this year’s Game of the Year for me. It is so good! I highly, highly recommended picking it up if y’all are even remotely interested (I don’t know if any of y’all are but if you are I suggest playing it because it is well worth the time and money.)

Second, it’s the first FromSoft game with a final boss worthy of that spot. Dark Souls 1-3 and Bloodborne all had not necessarily easy final bosses per se (except for Dark Souls 2, final boss there was without a doubt easy and Bloodborne’s True Ending final boss was pretty easy too) but none of them (for me anyway) rank near the high end of the difficulty spectrum, especially when compared to other bosses in their respective games (I’m looking at you Ornstein and Smough, you fucking bastards).

Finally beating the final boss felt so good. I was about ready to give up for the day again but then I said to myself “Eh, one more try couldn’t hurt,” (about literally what I said out loud to myself because I tend to talk to myself when playing games like this) and decided that I’d buckle down tomorrow and keep going at it until I beat him no matter how long it took. But then that one more try was The Run. Victory is so sweet!

But then my sweet, sweet victory was immediately clouded over by such a sad ending. T.T I won’t say what happened in case anyone cares about spoilers (on the off chance anyone even reads this let alone takes my recommendation to play this game) but why Kuro, why? T.T It brought tears to my eyes. T.T

Tomorrow I start New Game +, both because I am not done with this game yet, I’m still obsessed with it (I literally have not played a single other game since I started playing it, it’s the only thing I want to play right now) and because I need a happy ending. I’m gonna use a guide to get it of course, I have no shame in admitting that.

And if y’all are curious it took me 58 hours to beat the game. Longer than some for sure but much better than the 80 something hours my first playthrough of Dark Souls 1 took me. I have improved greatly at this general type of game (their combat systems are very different but you get what I mean, right?) I am proud of myself. :)

[ryouverua]

Trial 3 (Pre-Accusation Part 2)

WHAT A TWIST

I…. the thought never even crossed my mind…

She… she has a point?? But I just… it’s possible, but is it realistic? I think I’m actually seriously starting to doubt myself, especially since we had to select Tenko and everything… this feels like the Kaede trial all over again oTL

I-I mean I know Tenko’s fortitude is probably high but??? That’s like, next level?? Komaeda level, even???? never, EVER EVER go full komaeda

That’s what I’m saying??? I-It just seems so out of character???

….. Well shit, that’s actually a decent motive. And honestly, if Tenko had shown any inclination of being able or willing to kill Angie, I’d actually find this reason pretty compelling. But of course, Kokichi wasn’t there the way Shuichi, Maki and the rest of the audience were when Tenko turned down Maki the night before, so we actually have that information over him. As far as he knows, Tenko was absolutely obsessed with Himiko to the level of infiltrating the student council (and I do feel like Kokichi would have seen through Tenko as far as her lie of ‘being brainwashed’).

Basically what I’m saying is that there’s a good chance that this isn’t just Kokichi being an asshole (even though as usual, he’s doing it in a dick-ish way and the poor? guy is stuck with perpetual troll face) but him actually pursuing what is, to him, a legitimate line of questioning in a straight-forward way. Well, minus the whole ‘Angie killing Tenko’ thing, though I guess symbolically you can read that to represent ‘Angie (via guilt) killed Tenko’…

….

Kokichi and Beatrice went to the same liar’s school, didn’t they.

Kokichi you actually had me at least humouring your line of logic up to this point. 8′D Are you projecting right now? Is that what you’d do just to fuck with everyone one last time?

Y….. Yeah…. but……… no…………….

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THAT FROM YOU, MR. MOST-SUSPICIOUS

It’s just so… interesting because none of what he is saying is wrong, you know? People reading this with no knowledge of Umineko must hate me at this point because I keep referring to it so I’m going to try refer to it in a more accessible way though borrowing examples from it still lolol

Like… oh, right. The wolf and sheep puzzle where you have to get both the wolf and sheep across the river while both survive is a classic example - except some sheep are just wolves dressed as sheep, and you don’t know which ones will attack you… but you know they’re there. Kokichi is basically taking the role of ‘everyone is a potential wolf’ which is smart, survival-wise! And even if it does put him at odds with everyone else, it’s still a perfectly valid viewpoint. 

KAITO JUST CALLED KOKICHI NAIVE I FEEL SO ALIVE

AND KOKICHI IS IN SHOCK

And here’s Kaito taking the complete opposite approach - ‘believe that all the sheep are sheep unless shown otherwise’ and oh by the way I can totally make a sheep out of that cute red-eyed wolf over there COME’ERE MAKI ROLL -

- but yeah again, perfectly valid view.

“BELIEVE IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES YOU IN YOU!!!!!”

T… The logic loses me a little bit over here, but otherwise yeah, Kaito’s arguably naive lol arguments carry a decent bit of weight behind them!

“COME HERE AND GET A HUG YOU BIG FLUFFY WOLF!”

HOLD HIS FEET TO THE FIRE MAKI, THATAGIRL

“YOU’RE OFFICIALLY ON MY SHIT LIST KAITO!!!”

“W… Why does it have hearts all over it? And is that Shuichi’s name -”

“It doubles as my crush list STFU.”

Oooh I forgot about that! Oh good 8′D Like I said earlier, the game was doing a pretty good job at swaying my heart!

sweet cheeks is a lying liar who lies and I enable him - nay, i encourage him

Kokichi is either incredibly good at seeing through people’s lies which means maybe he knows who the mastermind is already??? which is an interesting thought or he is so hyper-fixated on Shuichi that he can tell immediately when he specifically lies

“ah fuck now I have to lie too why do boys keep insisting on dragging me into their issues”

Are…. you shocked genuinely, or because you were banking on this theory to save you? Aaaah man for better or worse, going in with your own biases really colours the way you look at things…

YEAH GIRL YOU TELL THEM

Oh man he really can’t resist getting one good dig at her? I actually… wonder, you know? If he’s legitimately salty about her pretending to be something she’s not up until the end of chapter 2. Something to think about later, maybe?

“kaito I love you BUT KEEP YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH SHUT also did I mention I love you again please don’t leave me”

Yeah…. Yeah, I was thinking that was the sound of the sickle falling maybe? I think?

Kokichi is way too excited about this 8′D

Wait…. so like a lever system? That’s…. uh……………………………………….

oh shit that means the sickle was at the top of the cage AAAGH I KNOW BEING STABBED HURTS BUT SOMEHOW THAT MAKES IT MORE TERRIFYING literally being catapulted to her death adslfj

Somehow trap!deaths freak me out way more than in-person deaths? Is that weird?

spirit of justice flashbacks to that one case’s visualization made me so uncomfortable 

…… Seesaw…. trick.

Can I just say. I was so fucked up by the use of the word ‘seesaw’. Because once I saw the visualization, I had ‘lever’ in my head. I was looking for the letter ‘L’ during the hangman game and fucked up a lot because of that and there were enough ‘E’s floating around to make it seem legitimate. That just seemed to make more sense. Seesaw?!?! SEESAW WTF 

AS;DLFJASDF askldfj I cringed during the playthrough and I’m cringing now looking at the picture this legit makes me uncomfortable

YEAH GUYS

‘LEVER MURDER’

LEVER MURDER

yeah i know that’s the thing I’m fixated on

No Kokichi! You’re not allowed to enjoy this as much as me! Only I, as a witness game, can enjoy it this much! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED AS A PARTICIPANT

also you know he’s totally figured out who it is

See, this must be the point where everyone who wasn’t suspicious of Korekiyo started looking at him. Because honestly, he’s pushing so hard now. On the bright side, all of my own hesitations have been dispelled!

I…… I kind of love how Kokichi is spinning a yarn the same way I’ve been about Korekiyo. But joke’s on you Kokichi, because I’ll be right in the end! Right? …. Right? i’m not misreading the situation about his sister am I

Himiko my god I hope you know if you did or didn’t kill her!

#stopgaslightingHimiko

Monodam might help you guys with that. >3>

Again, I feel like all the Monokuma/Monocubs stuff is foreshadowing 8′D They are the only people with full knowledge of the situation and all the Monokuma Theatre pieces have been immediately relevant to the situation they’ve been in……….. but I don’t know if I have enough info to figure it out. oTL

STOP BULLYING MY PRECIOUS MONODAM

KOREKIYO BABE ILU BUT YOU’RE OVERPLAYING YOUR HAND

Survivor’s guilt 8′/

See, here’s Kokichi seemingly goading Himiko but like… you know, you can definitely (and I think on a second reading would be meant to but I already tend to look at Kokichi’s lines pretty favourable lol) look at it as a way to encourage her not to give up, right?

Also, you know that little weenie knows about the boards being cut in the other room, so there’s no way he doesn’t know Himiko’s being set up right now. I dunno if he can’t just bring himself to speak genuinely and encourage her or if he doesn’t think the others would trust a ‘turnabout’ coming from him….

WITH THAT SAID JUST TELL THEM ABOUT THE BOARDS IN THE OTHER ROOM DAMN IT

Honestly on top of the whole potential ‘Maki lying to Kokichi et al about her talent, therefore pissing him off’ angle, do you ever get the feeling that Maki and Kokichi don’t get along because they’re just… really similar? Honestly, between Kokichi and Maki’s backhanded compliments and encouragements… 8′D

Seriously, Kaito and Kaede couldn’t shine at the same time so one of them had to get knocked off. I wonder when the next body will drop? please never i want them both to live kokichi has a bigger target on his back than maki but we already lost komaeda last game let me have this KOKICHI ISN’T EVEN AS BIG OF A TROUBLEMAKER

“But then Kaito punched me in the face, dragged me to breakfast and then forced me into rigorous exercise training sessions in the middle of the night! Worked like a charm, too!”

“UM…. I’LL PASS, NYEH….”

“It’s time to get inspirational! It’s time to work with my classmates and corner the blackened! Are you with me, person who carries the key to Tenko’s murd -”

“WAKE UP WEENIE I’M TRYING TO GET MY PROTAG ON”

“oh shit”

smooth save

for fuck’s sake Miu you were the first one to accuse him at the beginning of the trial

YAY

YES WE GOT ANOTHER ONE FOR TEAM TRAINING

I’m so glad we got to slip in a bit more Saimota before the end of the post ~

OH SHIT IT’S ON BABY

list of things for you to do next trial while you defend yourself 

TAKE OFF YOUR MASK

TAKE OFF YOUR MASK

talk about the beauty of humanity

TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING MASK

[randomstarmuffin]

You are???? an absolute gem????? And I'd be happy to talk to you whenever!!! Tell me more about what you liked about rune factory! Who did you marry? Did you marry one person or a collection of people (and if you did marry a collection of people, do you have a favourite??)

Omg????? I am not entirely sure when you sent this but I am so sorry I didnt see this until just now!! Ahhhhhh thank you so much???

Uh ok. Well, you asked and you shall receive - beware of a loooong post incoming lol. I could talk about RF for days and no one I know plays it so you’ve really opened the floodgates here haha

So full disclosure I’ve actually only had one rune factory spouse thus far and it was Doug! I got… a little too attached the first time I played (4 was my first rune factory game!) So I decided to try to complete the shipping list in my first save file (still have not accomplished that…) and played for just. Hours and hours and hours. And never actually got around to a second playthrough. When I first started, I had thought I might marry Vishal bc hes just so sweet but then Doug ended up stealing my heart (what can I say, hotheaded redheads/dwarves with a heart of gold and a tragic backstory are my weakness). So yeah, he’s definitely my favorite bachelor in 4. I also dont think it’s necessary for my enjoyment of a marriage option but I really liked how his whole deal was connected to the plot. I went into the game totally blind on the whole thing aside from having looked up the basic profiles on the bachelors/bachelorettes and I somehow didnt notice on my own so I had no idea that his FP was locked by story events until after the fact, but I loved how the plot was tied to him allowing himself to open up more. In a matter unrelated to the plot, and definitely dumbly cheesy, I found out about how some people had trouble with getting the random events and stuff required for marriage right around when I was getting ready to officially decide who to pick (tho it wasn’t a hard choice for me at that point) and I literally got all of Doug’s events so, so easily. I didn’t have to do any of the dreaded reloading tricks or anything, and even though I was also technically dating Vishnal and Arthur, Doug was the first one I got all the events for and the first marriage event to just happen naturally in-game, so I’d like to think it was just meant to be (lol). I��d love to someday play through as Lest as well and finally romance one of the girls, maybe Forte or Dolce… or Xiao Pai… these games have TOO MANY great characters in them I swear, it makes it hard to pick just one!

I have played a good portion of 3 as well, but I wanted to get everyones events done, esp the wooly reveal events, and I’ve just been so focused on other things, I guess, that I still havent finished it - heck, I havent touched it in like 7 months :( I should really do that actually… Anyways, 3 is going to be hard for me to pick a spouse bc, again, there are so many good characters. I think I’m leaning Raven not necessarily bc she’s my all around favorite but because weirdly I ship her the most with Micah? I’m not sure if that’s how you’re supposed to play these games but one thing I really value with the Rune Factory series in particular over, like, Harvest Moon or Stardew Valley, is that the protags get to BE characters, and not just cardboard stand-ins!!! I know they’re mostly written fairly neutrally so you can play how you want, but they all *Definitely* have their own quirks and I absolutely love that. Theres certainly a time and a place for self inserts but honestly I personally tend to find myself more drawn into a game when the protagonists have their own stakes in the world besides I, The Player, Am Playing A Game In A Fantasy World That I Do With As I Please. Even if it’s just in what sort of dialogue choices you’re given or something, which HM/SV also dont really have as much of. (Cough unless the game in question is Animal Crossing. I guess they’ve really got me there. Cough) So, not that I dont like Raven in her own right, but I just really love their whole plotline together? RF3 does a really great job with character growth that, coming from someone seeing the series in reverse, I think RF4’s system of town events kind of mitigated, with the whole randomness factor meaning they couldnt link as many characters to any one overarching series of events. And I really love how Raven and Micah’s events go and i think ending them in romance is just super sweet. It should also be noted that I AM a sucker for a quiet-badass-who’s-sort-of-sassy-in-a-blink-and-you-miss-it-way x literal-sunshine-and-everyone-loves-them-and-they’re-always-in-everyones-business dynamic, for sure. As far as my actual favorite rf3 bachelorette, I think maybe Marian might take the cake? She’s so wacky and out there but her whole insecurity thing really touched me. That might change whichever way the wind is blowing on the day you ask me, though. To be quite honest with you, I fell hard for the whole town of Sharance and I could probably write essays on every single one of the marriage options in 3. Also though, I ended up shipping like all the bachelorettes with each other, sooo… my bad, Micah, my bad, lmao.

I also own Tides of Destiny, but my Wii started freaking out not long after I got it and I usually prefer to play handheld games anyway, so I started it but I never got too far. Someday I’ll play it. (I’m really hoping to get my hands on 2 sometime soon though because the idea of marriage rivals is SO up my alley - I’m sure it’s a pain to program but I wish more dating sims would do that!!! Maybe it’s just bc I’m someone who loves to ship just as much if not sometimes more than to see my own playable character have their romance play out, but I think it’s a super fun idea and makes the whole thing more grounded in the setting, that things can happen and relationships change outside of the protag’s involvement, too.)

So yeah. GREAT questions, my friend. I do love farming sims and non-NSFW dating sims in general and add onto that dungeon crawling and monster taming??? Plus it has a plot (even if it’s an albeit fairly simple one)?? Rune Factory really has it all, man. BUT if I’m being totally honest I think the best part of Rune Factory for me has always been the characters. I dont know how they manage to make the towns feel so alive and balance out all the personalities so well but they’ve really got it down. Maybe they have a secret formula somewhere… I’d love to see it :P

And!! I’d love to hear YOUR favorites as well??? Thanks again for the ask! I dont get a lot so I dont check super frequently and I really hope this hasn’t been sitting in my box for too long. You’re more than welcome to talk to me whenever too! :)

[mr-beebleboose]

UNDERTALE FANFIC/NOVEL/THING

Adventurer by Name, Adventurer by Nature - Chapter 1

A/N: So this is basically an interpretation of the True Pacifist Route of Undertale, based on @therealjacksepticeye ’s playthrough of the game. The protagonist is my own character, not Frisk (no offence to them, I love the smol bean) but it follows the events of Jack’s playthrough and the dialogue is a word for word transcript from Jack’s videos. I started writing this about a year ago, if not longer, and I think it’s finally time to share it. If people like it, I’ll continue to upload it as I write it. This is just chapter 1, ending just before you enter the ruins, after your encounter with Flowey. In my word document, the characters’ dialogue is actually in the Undertale font but it doesn’t translate over to Tumblr so you’ll just have to imagine it’s in that awesome font. 

SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE OF THE TRUE PACIFIST ROUTE OF THE GAME ‘UNDERTALE’ BY TOBY FOX. I DON’T OWN THE PLOT OR THE DIALOGUE IN BOLD OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS EXCEPT THE PROTAGONIST, KIT. I AM NOT MAKING ANY PROFIT FROM THIS.

They zipped up their jacket, laced their shoes and donned their backpack before grabbing the rope and harness.

Approaching the cliff edge, Kit Ross stared down into the deep, dark depths of Mount Ebott.

Legend has it that, hundreds of years ago, the village had been inhabited by a coven of witches and warlocks who had taken a drastic step in the monster vs human war, banishing the monsters underneath the mountain with a magic spell.

It was rarely taught in history classes, though, so it’s more like a myth. Either way, Kit was going to find out soon enough: they’d gotten bored and decided to go camping in the caves for a few nights.

They secured the rope around a boulder and clipped their harness to it. After a double check, they turned on their headlamp and climbed down into the abyss.

Wait, wasn’t it supposed to be getting darker the further they descended…? Yet, the cavern was strangely light at the bottom. Kit turned their head round to try and get a better look at whatever was emitting the mysterious glow: big mistake. In taking their eyes off the rock face before them, they failed to notice a particularly sharp, jagged rock that jutted out from the wall. It snagged on their rope and, before they knew it, snapped the rope and sent them plummeting to the rocky floor below.

Heart in their mouth, Kit squeezed their eyes shut and braced themselves for the painful impact of their body on the ground. Luckily for them, the rope had snapped just short of a dozen or so feet from the floor, meaning they landed with a heavy thud and a bump to the head, but otherwise relatively unscathed.

Sitting up and brushing off the dust from their clothes, Kit noticed that they had landed in a luminous bed of golden flowers. Odd; there was no one down here to tend for them.

Gingerly rubbing their head, they removed their abseiling gear and packed it into their bag. Walking for a bit, they inspected the nearby area (just rocks and darkness, nothing of interest) before stopping to pull out a water bottle from their bag. Just as they unzipped the rucksack, they heard a voice:

“Howdy!”

Instincts fuelled Kit and they turned, quickly withdrawing their pocket knife. Then it registered- they were stood in front of a yellow-petaled flower…with a face. That apparently just talked.

“…what the fu-”

“I’m Flowey! Flowey the Flower!” exclaimed the plant in a disgustingly sweet voice.

“I… I can see you’re a flower…”

‘How hard did I bang my head?’ they thought, holding the knife tightly.

“Hmm, you’re new to the underground, aren’t ya? Golly, you must be so confused!” cried the shrill voice with a shit-eating grin.

“Yeah, no kidding…” Kit mumbled. They kept the knife raised as they inched closer.

“Someone ought to tell you how things work around here!” Kit rolled their eyes, already sensing the craziness of the situation.

“I guess little old me will have to do! Ready?” Kit nodded hesitantly. “Here we go!”

Suddenly, the room went dark and two spotlights fell upon Kit and ‘Flowey’.

“See that heart?” asked the flower. Kit felt a heavy weight on their chest and looked down to see a red, heart-shaped pendant hanging from their neck on a gold chain. “That’s your soul; the very culmination of your being!”

Yeah, Kit was calling bullshit on this so hard. Nevertheless, they politely signalled for the yellow flower to continue.

“Your soul starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV!”

Kit glanced down and noticed the pendant was surrounded by a mere layer of glass. They frowned.

“LV?”

“What’s LV stand for? Why, LOVE, of course!” the flower cried.

Kit resisted the urge to cringe.

“You want some love, don’t you?”

“Uhh…” Kit didn’t think so, anyway.

“Don’t worry, I’ll share some with you!” the flower winked and five…blobs appeared around it. Kit’s eyes widened in shock as they started to question life and their sanity.

They were dreaming, right? This couldn’t be real…they pinched themselves just to make sure, but nothing happened.

“Down here, love is shared through little white ‘friendliness pellets’.”

Okay, that definitely sounded fake; “friendliness pellets”? For a split second, Kit could have sworn that the flower’s face switched into a malicious grin, if only for a mere moment, but it could’ve just been a trick of the light. When they blinked, it was smiling, just as before.

“Are you ready? Move around! Get as many as you can!” Suddenly, the white ‘friendliness pellets’ were moving towards Kit.

Now, Kit didn’t make a deliberate move to grab them, but curiosity got the better of them and they didn’t move away from one headed for their arm.

They didn’t know what they expected to happen, but searing hot pain and an open, bleeding wound certainly wasn’t it.

They cried out and grabbed their arm before noticing the flower’s face: a terrifying evil grin.

“You idiot,” came the distorted voice. “In this world, it’s kill or BE killed.”

Kit sneered at the two-faced dick of a plant before them.

“Why would ANYONE pass up an opportunity like this?!” The face turned into a smug smile as the five orbs multiplied into hundreds and encircled Kit, leaving no gap for escape, except…

“DIE,” screeched the monster-plant, and the trap started to close in on Kit slowly. Unfortunately for ‘Flowey’, it wasn’t a very well thought out trap; the orbs hovered at Kit’s waist level, which just happened to be about 3 feet above the ground.

They brandished their knife and, in a very Indiana Jones style move, rolled forward under the bullets. They stabbed the blade through an exposed leaf, pinning it to the floor. The plant released a high-pitched shriek as the trap faded into nothingness.

“I don’t know what the fuck just happened or what the hell you are, but you leave me alone y’hear?!” Kit demanded angrily. ‘Flowey’ nodded (if plants can nod…) and tried to retreat underground again but was hindered by Kit’s knife.

They removed it mercifully, letting the flower go: they never were the one for killing. It quickly disappeared back into the soft earth with a squawk of fear, leaving the cave silent.

Kit sat back, staring at the bleeding wound on their arm. They put the pen-knife back in their bag and went to stand up when they came face to face with a purple fabric and a white insignia, surrounded by white fur. Shocked, they fell back and landed on their arm, inhaling sharply in shock and pain.

“What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent youth…” came a soft, warm voice from above them.

Kit scrambled back, getting to their feet and pulling their knife out again. They were certainly more scared now; there was no adrenaline, no fear or pain fuelling them now. This was a…a creature at least 3 times larger than Kit, not just some stupid plant. God knew the damage that could be done to them in this moment.

“D-Don’t come too close, I’m not afraid to use this!” they stammered unconvincingly, pen-knife trembling in their hand. This…being…was at least 6 foot tall, if not taller, and resembled some sort of bull or goat. It had small horns on its head and wore a purple…dress? Soft white fur encompassed its whole body, and although it didn’t appear threatening, Kit was extremely on edge.

“Ah, do not be afraid, my child,” said the being, kneeling down to match Kit’s height more, smiling a sincere smile. “I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins.” It gestured to the surrounding cave that was a lot less scary in the presence of this…woman? It appeared female, but who was Kit to judge someone’s gender…do animal-monsters even have genders? Either way, this being was no more threatening than a bumble bee bumping into a window on a hot, summer’s day.

“I pass through this place every day to see if anyone has fallen down,” she continued, standing up again. She had to be nearly 7 foot in height, towering over Kit’s tiny 5’6” frame.

“I came here to camp,” they explained, realising how dumb that sounded compared to the fact that the monsters from the legends actually exist. “I was abseiling down when my rope snapped and then I ran into that…thing,” they said, pointing at where the plant had appeared. “I didn’t…expect anyone to be down here,” they admitted, looking back up at the goat-woman-being.

“You are the first human to come here in a long time.”

“Makes sense,” nodded Kit. “No one believes in the myths and legends: they just think this is a normal mountain. When that kid fell down here and was never seen again, people started to avoid it like the plague. Now it…sort of makes sense.” Kit put the knife away in their pocket for easy access and hissed as their burnt arm flexed. As they looked down, they saw something odd – the heart pendant had a small crack in it and was glowing a little less brightly than it had been before. “Huh…guess that weed was right,” they mumbled, fingering it curiously. But…how could a simple necklace actually represent their soul? Kit hadn’t even been aware that souls existed until now.

Toriel gasped when she saw the wound, putting a gentle hand-thing on Kit’s uninjured shoulder. “Come! I will guide you through the catacombs,” she said, leading Kit to a purple archway that they hadn’t spotted before. It appeared to be made of marble, consisting of two huge pillars and a curved segment joining them at the top. Within the curved arch was a strange symbol that sort of looked like wings, in Kit’s eyes.

“This way.”

Kit grabbed their bag and shouldered it, Toriel leading the way further and further into the mountain…

[feynites]

I am curious, who did your Hawke(s) romance in Dragon Age 2? Also, I am REEAAALLLY curious to see what spirits Thenvunin and Kel merge with in the 'Everyones an Abom AU'.

For the first question: I romanced everyone in various playthroughs of DA2, but I never really developed a particular attachment to any of my Hawkes, so I’m not very picky about shipping with that crowd. If that makes sense. The Hawke who had the most dramatic playthrough was a M!Hawke who romanced Anders, so I tend to default to him, or else I go with my sister’s Hawke, Malcolm Jr, who was a bit of an ass and spent most of his game pining for Aveline. (90% of his character comes from my sister’s impression of him, and watching her play and basically be like ‘ahhh, my dove!’ any time Aveline came on screen. She can also sneer ‘Donnic’ in a faux-M!Hawke voice that is just full of undeserved vitriol - but Donnic was fine in her playthrough. Also a running gag was that Malcolm was completely oblivious to the fact that Fenris was rather long-sufferingly in love with him.)

For the second, I mean, I wasn’t actually planning on… but, I guess it is called… I…

…Well I guess let’s see what Uthvir was doing in the version of this ‘verse where they didn’t die!

(Warning for child endangerment and threats towards children and physical menace of children.)

The Templars have gone quiet.

That is, Uthvir thinks, a bad sign rather than a good one.Because their sources have been going silent, over the past four years.Snuffing out like candles, running up across dead-ends, meeting unexpectedwalls and blockages and it is not as if the movement is dwindling. It might diedown, every now and then, might legitimately come close to ending, but over thecenturies they have learned to see the signs. They know what to look for.Everything in them is telling them that is an upswing, not a down.

But all the places they know, and the faces they havelearned to watch, have stopped yielding information.

They do not know if the leaks are being discovered, or ifthe organizing is simply wise enough to cover its tracks better, or if time hasmade them so accustomed to looking in certain places that they have forgottenhow to seek out others. They do not know what has and has not been compromised,and Fear is running wild with the implications. With the best avenues ofresponse. Withdraw to one of the bunkers? They are more remote, harder to find,but if they are already being watched and tracked, then they could be followed.Then the remote location might work against them. Send out warnings? Butwarnings for what? The danger of discovery is well-known, and contacting theothers might simply alert anyone with eyes on Uthvir as to where the rest ofthe clan is. Stay put, try to lie low? But that could just be turningthemselves into a sitting duck, if the only location that the Templars knowabout is this one.

They cannot afford to take long to deliberate, either. Amoment. A moment is all that it takes, sometimes.

In the end they leave messages in the Fade, in the old dreamnetworks that have not been used for a century. The ripples should catch someattention, but possibly not enough for the others to actively check it. Still,it would be harder for the Templars to discover such things; even if they havemages on their side, or spirits, discovering the network would be difficult, andinfiltrating it well enough to actually glean the contents of the messages, near to impossible. Unless one of theclan has betrayed them.

Uthvir does not think so, but they cannot afford to discountthe possibility.

They tailor each warning very specifically, for all that the contents must be vague. ‘Templars upto something – change security, withdraw if needed, clan may be compromised��.

They mentally review what they know of everyone. Selene andFelasel are with Dirthamen and Cirimeni again, out on their not-quite-farm. Nota good location, Uthvir thinks; it’s too remote for the security or anonymityof a densely-populated area, but not remote enough to afford the protection ofwilderness. But then, Desire and Pride are not apt to listen to their ‘over-precautions’.Melarue and that other one, they’re in Antiva again, with Varawell. Followingup a potential lead on more family. Their security level is questionable; it’sbeen months since Uthvir heard from them. They might even be the source of thelink, if one or all of them have been compromised. Eda is on her reserve, withher dragons.

And Thenvunin, Irenan, and Kel are at home, in their ParVollen city apartment. Or they all will be in a few hours, anyway. School willbe letting out soon. Thenvunin should be home, he said he was going to goshopping but they doubt he would leave it so late that he would risk not beingthere everyone else got home.

Uthvir leaves the public terminal they had been using tolook into their last dying ember of a lead, and sets off down the street. They considertheir car, as they get back into it. A somewhat flashy SUV, too conspicuous fortheir tastes right now. There’s another they can use to leave the city by, in aparking garage not far from the highway. They’ll head for Eda’s. Weighingthreat versus security, they think, the bunker near to the giant nest full ofdragons will be safest. The kids will be thrilled, and they can gather up Eda,and then investigate what may be going on in Antiva. If they can get thingssecure enough, they’ll fly over themselves.

But they can’t leave Thenvunin and the children. Theycontemplate it, but only for a moment. There’s a chance that putting distancebetween them might be safer for them. But there is an equal chance that it willleave them vulnerable, and it would be jarring to just suddenly abandon them.They won’t do that.

They stop at the elementary school first. Kel is youngerthan Irenan this time, Uthvir had her themselves, and has spent the past eightyears marvelling over how little has changed about her in the process. Thebiggest difference is that she is a mage this time around. Irenan is thirteen,now, at the awkward stage of painful growth spurts, his horns hardening and hisindependent streak kicking in with a vengeance. Uthvir expects to find himwaiting outside the school for Kel; his own lets out a little earlier, and heusually waits for Uthvir to come get them here.

There are a lot of parents and kids milling about. But notIrenan’s distinctive outline.

They give it a minute. Their nerves are heightened due tothe situation, they know. They remind themselves that they do not really knowfor certain what is going on, or if they are a target; and even if they were,today, of all days, would not necessarily be the day that something happened.

The bell rings.

The classes empty out, children eagerly dashing away fromtheir classes to waiting cars and parents, older siblings and guardians. Uthvirsees the other children from Kel’s class, recognizes little Alistair and hisbrother, the redheaded Tabris girl, the pack of Rutherford children – anothergroup they have been keeping one eye on, at Varawell’s request. A few morechildren they can’t name, but can recollect from class activities, field tripsthey have helped with and parent-teacher conferences.

No Kel.

They park the car properly, and head into the school.

Kel’s teacher is friendly, if more sugary-sweet than Uthviris inclined to like, and prone to talking down to his students. He’s in theclassroom, organizing a few things at his desk, when they push past the lastfew stragglers and head in.

“Where is Kel?” they ask, disinclined to preamble.

The teacher blinks up at them.

“Oh! Ser Elvhen,” he greets. “I thought you would haveknown. Kel was called away from class at lunch time. There was a familyemergency? Your husband came and got her…”

Uthvir is already turning away, though, their hearthammering and their mind racing enough that the lights flicker, just a little.They pull out their phone, and quickly call Thenvunin. Heading for theprincipal’s office.

The call has gone to voice mail by the time they reach theirdestination.

Thenvunin is not apt to ignore their calls.

They have to remind themselves that it could actually be an emergency. The reminder feels thin, however. Mirenais in Orlais, visiting with friends. Something could have happened to her, butThenvunin would have called them first, in that case. They have no missedcalls. No texts. A check at the principal’s office has the vice principalconfirming that Thenvunin – or someone sufficiently like Thenvunin to keep Kelfrom kicking up a complaint – came and got their daughter at noon. They phoneagain, as they make their way back out to the parking lot. Fear is riding high,now, licking at the threads of connections it can find. But the school iscrowded, and rife with the anxieties of students, and teachers, and frettingparents.

Checking Irenan’s school reveals the same results. Someonecame and got him at noon, citing a ‘family emergency’, and nothing else.

Uthvir tries phoning Thenvunin again.

Voice mail, again.

Someone has takenthem.

Yes, obviously, butthey need to figure out where, and so they also need to figure out how.Thenvunin came and got the children. It could have been an imposter. It wouldtake a good one to fool Irenan and Kel, but a shapeshifter might be able tomanage it for the time it would take to get in and out of the school. Gettingthe voice right would be the trickier part. On the other hand, it could haveactually been Thenvunin himself. That seems… likelier, though if he thought thechildren might be put in danger, Uthvir cannot see him willingly going andgetting them. By all accounts, he had gone in alone…

What if they are hurt?

…But he could have been deceived. Made to think there was an emergency. He still would havecalled Uthvir, they think, but there are ways to interfere with calls…

What if they arekilled? What if we have lost them again?

…They need to go to the apartment. There is a component theyneed for their tracking spells to work, and a backup, and if not they will haveto head for the storage locker near the docks. If someone has taken them, ifthe Templars have taken them, then itwill be to get to Uthvir. There will be something. A message, a trap; even ifall else fails they will not have vanished into thin air.

Kel is a mage, now.They will hurt her. They will hurt them all. Condemnation by association;aiding and abetting an abomination.

The children are justlittle, and Thenvunin does not know much beyond basic self-defence…

The steering wheel creaks and Uthvir forces themselves totake a breath. Focus. They cannot get pulled over by a police officer, theywill eviscerate whichever unfortunate soul tries it and that will be conspicuous.

The roads seemed to have grown exponentially in the time ittakes for them to get to the apartment, however.

Gone since noon. Hoursoff, now. They could have boarded a plane. A boat. Could be in the back of atruck somewhere, driving away.

They could be dead.

Uthvir gets to the apartment in one piece.

The security measures are intact. Wards undisturbed.Frustrating. They hold out hope that this is just a misunderstanding, thatthey’ll get inside and Thenvunin and the children will be there, safe and soundif slightly perplexed at Uthvir’s state. But the apartment is quiet. Just asthey left it this morning, more or less. There are still a few dishes in thesink. Thenvunin’s favourite coat and his city shoes are gone. He was taken while he was out, then.

But there is one piece of news.

The cage by the terrace is shut tight, and it does not takelong for a frustrated racket to kick up. Screecher normally spends theafternoons flying off towards the park at the edges of the city, huntingsquirrels and menacing the occasional jogger. The apartment has a garden, aswell, and with some extra incentive, the building’s owners have agreed to givetheir exotic pet free reign. But not in the mornings. Thenvunin must have leftshortly after Uthvir went to work, and then not come back at his expected timeto let Screecher out.

Uthvir opens the cage, and is immediately treated toscolding cries. Fear cracks, andsomething in Screecher answers. The bird freezes, halting its reprimandstowards Uthvir, and cocking its head.

The best component for the strongest tracking charm thatthey have ever made is in this bird’s feathers.

There are others, of course. At any given time there is achance that Screecher will meet with an unfortunate accident. The bird’sprovenance has seen it through more lifetimes than Uthvir is certain of, butthey will not bank on it being indefinite. However, all things considered,Screecher has been more permanent than a lot of factors in their strangeexistence. And its nature makes it uncannily predisposed to such magic.

“We have to find Thenvunin and the children,” they informit.

Screecher doesn’t offer a protest to this.

Uthvir begins to cast the spell. It doesn’t take long, butit’s possible they overdo it a little. Two of the lightbulbs in the roomshatter, and the television screen cracks, and one of their weaker wards diesin a burst of overwrought magic. But Screecher does not move, not even when itbegins to glow, slightly. And then the air snaps and Uthvir’s lungs ache, and theyfeel their shadow grow big enough to swallow some of the daylight in the room.Something tugs behind their ribs. A direction.

There.

Screecher alights onto their shoulder, and they all but flyback out of the apartment again. Barrelling down the stairs, and out throughthe doors and into their car once more. Their teeth and sharp and their nailsare long, and their skin is itching, threatening to crack as they forcethemselves to breathe, to think, to keep their focus as they take back off downthe road. Barely aware even of Screecher as it settles onto the passenger seat,and cries angrily at anything that veers too close to their vehicle.

They have to find them.

Have to.

 ~

 Kel’s class is in the middle of watching a movie – a rareand much-appreciated event which most everyone has been looking forward to, eventhough the movie itself is kinda boring and old – when she gets called out ofclass. The school’s secretary whispers with the teacher for a moment, while theother kids are watching the movie; and then tells Kel to get her bag.

“Your Papae is here to get you,” she says. “Something hashappened, but he wants to tell you about it himself.”

Kel frowns, worried, but nods in understanding.

“Is my nanae alright?” she wonders.

“Yes, they’re alright,” the secretary tells her. They go tothe office, then, moving quietly through the halls so as not to disturb theother classes. It doesn’t take long, just a few minutes of sitting in one ofthe office chairs before her Papae comes.

Something’s wrong, though.

She goes up to him and he puts an arm around her shoulders,but it doesn’t… feel right. He’s all stiff and there’s just… something notright? She can’t put her finger on it, though. He doesn’t really seem upset.He’s polite to the school’s secretary and the vice principal, who comes andpops their head out to check on them before disappearing back into the office.His clothes are wrong, though, she realizes. She’s never seen her Papae wearthese ones before, and she thought she knew all of his clothes.

But… he was going shopping today, wasn’t he? He promised toget her new sunglasses, too, since her old ones broke.

“Papae?” she asks, when the grown-ups have finished talking.“What’s wrong?”

He pats the top of her head, awkwardly.

“It’s nothing too bad, sweetheart, but I’ll explain whenwe’re in the car,” he says.

“Are Nanae and Irenan okay?” she asks.

“Of course they are. Irenan is in the car too, waiting forus,” he tells her, and takes her by the hand. Holding just a little too tight,as he leads her out of the school, and the sense of something is wrong doesn’t go away. But Kel is thinking that itmust be that something has happened to make her Papae act strangely. Making hisvoice just a little too high, and his mannerisms a little too stiff, and it’snot until she sees the car they’re heading for and realizes that she doesn’trecognize it, either, that sheremembers Nanae’s warnings about shapeshifters. Shapeshifters other than them,who wear disguises, and sometimes even make themselves look like other,specific people.

“Papae, what’s the password?” she asks. She should haveasked that first! That’s what thepassword is for!

Papae looks down at her, and she knows. She just knows. It’swrong. It’s all wrong, his eyes are wrong, they’re the same colour but theyaren’t looking at her right, and that’s nother father!

But before she can open her mouth to scream, everything goesreally bright and then really dark. Painful and deep, aching and drowning atonce. Her head swims and the world dissolves into ribbons of bright colour, andher voice dies in her throat before it can even get past her lips. Her skinfeels too hot. Too, too hot, and it feels like someone just tried to punch allof her bones at once.

And then it goes dark, as Kel feels an awful lurch of terror.

Her dreams feel like they take a long time to come.

There’s something itchy about the darkness that takes her.Like scraped knees catching on rough fabric. Like the sense that she needs tobe doing something, needs to be not sleeping, but she can’t wake up, either.She drifts in that odd sense of urgency and inaction for a long time. A bag ofrocks, covered in ants. Itching, itching, until she feels something twitch, in the dark.

Something big moves beneath her.

Oh, says a voiceshe feels like she knows. It is you.

Everything starts to tip, then, like a chair fallingbackwards. In the moment when she expects the lurch, then, she opens her eyes.Scratchy, heavy eyelids, and bright lights, and there are arms around her. Armsshe knows, and a scent she knows, and she sighs before she remembers that’s not my father, and then she goesrigid with fear again.

“Kel?” her Papae says, though. And his voice is right. Hesounds upset, but he sounds the right kind of upset. “Da’vhenan? How do youfeel? Does anything hurt?”

Her vision clears, and she sees his face, then. There arebruises on it, and blood on his lip, and there’s Irenan, too. Sitting rightnext to them, with his hands behind his back for some reason, and his headalmost on Papae’s shoulder. He’s not bruised, not that she can see, but hisbrows are furrowed and he looks like he’s scared. But he’s trying not to showit, because he’s Irenan.

“Kel, are you hurt? Where does it hurt?” Papae asks her,with his eyes red around the rims and a purple bruise on his temple.

“She’ll just be a little sore,” someone else says, fromsomewhere she can’t see, with a voice she doesn’tknow. Papae glares in their direction, though. Hurt and scared and mad.

“She is a child,”he says. His arms move around her, but they’re moving weirdly, and he doesn’tbrush her forehead or cheek. Kel blinks a little more awake. She feels like shebruised both of her knees and her elbows, and her chest aches, like she justran really hard into a rock or something. She’s done that before. One time shefell down a hill and bruised her shin, and landed on a boulder. Her chin gotscraped up and Papae took her to the doctor, and he got really mad about thathill and made the school put a fence around it and dig out the boulder.

“What happened?” Kel asks.

Papae looks back at her, and bends down and presses a kissto her forehead.

“You got hurt, da’vhenan,” he says. “How do you feel? Isyour head okay?”

She thinks about it.

“My arms and legs hurt,” she tells him. “And my chest issore. Papae, your face is all bruised…”

“Shh,” he says. “Don’t mind that, I’m fine. What does yourchest feel like? Where does it hurt?”

Kel wriggles around, meaning to put a hand over her ribs.But then her fingers brush something, and she frowns. Sitting up a little bitmore, she realizes that there’s metal on her papae’s wrists. And there’s ropeon her brother, too, and some bruises on his arms. She swallows, and then looksaround. She doesn’t know the room they’re in. It looks a little bit like theschool basement, but there’s no heater or little box windows. Just grey walls,yellow light,  and a man she doesn’t knowhandcuffed to a pipe.

The air feels heavy, too. Stuffy, but not, and she can’tfeel her magic very well.

She doesn’t like this.

“Where are we?” she asks again. “Where’s Nanae?”

“Shhh,” Papae tells her. His bottom lip is trembling alittle, like he might cry, and Kel gets that sinking feeling she always haswhen he’s upset.

“It’s okay,” Irenan tells her, shifting his legs around. “Wejust need to… to wait. Help’s coming. These guys think they’re gonna trick ourNanae, but they’re wrong. Nanae’s gonna get here and they’re going to be somad, they’ll tear this whole place apart, and we’ll be back home before dinnertime. We’ll have pizza to celebrate.”

Kel glances over at the stranger handcuffed to a pipe.

“What guys?” she wonders.

“The guys who hit Papae,” Irenan tells her, and Papae sucksin a breath and then makes a quelling motion at him. But Kel was pretty sure hegot hit, anyway, because he looks like he did. “They made that other guy, overthere, pretend to look like him so they could kidnap us. He’s a shapeshifter.”

Oh.

“I figured that out!” she says, pleased about one thing, atleast.

Papae’s eyes water a bit.

“I know you did. My smart girl,” he tells her.

She asked for the password, she remembers, and then… he musthave cast a spell on her.

That really hurt.

She sits up, and Papae keeps his arms around her, eventhough his hands are cuffed together. They’re real handcuffs, too, not like the toy ones she found under his bedone time. There are no soft fuzzy bits, and they look like they hurt. Kel leansagainst her father’s chest as she examines his wrists, and he asks her morequestions about where she hurts and whether or not her heart is beating reallyfast. If she feels dizzy, and things like that; but she’s starting to feelbetter.

After a while, she feels good enough to get up and lookaround. Papae tells her not to go near the stranger, but after a minute he letsgo of her so she can look and see if she can find anything that might help themescape. She looks for wards, like the kind Nanae makes, but she can’t find anysigns of them. There are no sigils or runes or anything, and she even goes intoa corner with cobwebs trying to look, and checks the undersides of some of thepipes.

Maybe, she thinks, it’s on the inside of the pipes. Nanae did that, one time, under the sink. Keldoesn’t have a wrench, though, and the pipes won’t twist in her hands.

The stranger clears his throat.

“Little girl,” he says.

“Don’t talk to her,” Papae snaps, furious.

The stranger doesn’t even look at him. He’s human, althoughhe’s not as big as some, and it looks like it’s been a long time since he had ashower.

“Little girl,” he says, again, clearing his throat. “I thinkyou might be able to get this pipe. If you can untwist it-“

“Kel, come here,” Papae tells her, in his no-nonsense voice.

She hesitates, just for a minute. Just until she remembershow bad it hurt, and how scary it waswhen the stranger was pretending to be him. And then she goes back over, whileIrenan squirms around. It’s hard to be comfortable with his hands behind hisback, and his horns are probably itching again. She reaches up a hand andscritches the bases for him, and he lets out a relieved sigh.

The stranger swallows, and then lets out a big sigh of hisown.

“Look,” he says. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t have a choice-”

“Shut your mouth,” Papae hisses. “No choice? You could havescreamed your head off the minute you set foot in Irenan’s school building. Youcould have called for the police, could have run, could have hit the firealarm. You could have tried any of that before you even attempted to deceive me, but instead you hurt my children!”

“You don’t understand!” the stranger shouts back. “You don’tknow what they’re like. Call thepolice? They own this whole town! They’re everywhere! You can’t escape them,they’ll always find you and when they do, they’ll do things to you… they’llwatch you and follow you, never let you sleep, never let you be… alwayswatching…”

He sobs.

“Save it,” Papae says, and Kel’s never seen him be so mad atsomeone who was crying before.

The stranger’s face twists.

“Oh, sure, blame me,” he snarls. “Blame me, when you’re theone who fucked one of those things.Fucking an abomination! And it’s myfault that they come for you, come to clean up the mess, when it’s creatureslike that ‘nanae’ of yours and fuckers like youwho ruin it for the rest of us! Make them think we’re all twisted monsters,while you go around happily making demon babies and perverting ox brats-“

“Children, cover your ears!” Papae insists, and he looks soupset that Kel actually does it, for a moment.

Irenan doesn’t, though.

He just glares at the stranger, and when Kel sneaks herfingers apart so she can hear better again, he starts shouting, too.

“You used blood magic on my little sister, you sick fuck!”he says.

“Irenan!” Papae scolds, because Irenan said the ‘F’ word.

Irenan’s eyes are shiny now, though.

“Well if he’s gonna say it then I’m gonna say it, I’m notletting him call us names…”

Papae makes a sound, and then leans in towards him. It takessome doing, and Irenan seems like he’s going to be standoffish about it, butthen he shuffles closer and presses his face against Papae’s shoulder. Huffinga little as a few tears slip down his face, and Kel feels her own eyes itchbecause there’s so much shouting and crying and bruises and trouble, and shejust wants to go home. She wants Nanae to come and say that everything’s okaynow.

Irenan’s still crying when they heard a loud groaning sound.Like a big door opening.

Papae stiffens, and then he shifts forward, and makes Keland Irenan go behind him as much as they can.

Some part of her expects to see her Nanae came rushing in,then. Or maybe just really hopes to. So it feels like someone’s dropped anentire bag of ice cubes in her stomach when three strangers come into the room.Two men and a woman, all with hard faces, and upside-down swords on theirshirts. They’re human. Wearing clunky boots and heavy gloves, and one of themhas a gun.

Kel’s never seen a gun in real life before. Not one thatwasn’t a toy, anyway. It’s shiny, and it takes her a moment to even realizewhat it is; for half a second she thinks it’s a knife, but it’s the wrongshape.

The strangers stare at them.

“Girl’s a mage?” the woman asks.

“No,” Papae says.

“That’s what’s on the record,” the shapeshifter tells them.

“It’s a mistake. She’s not a mage. None of us are,” Papaeinsists. “If you let us go, we won’t say anything. We won’t tell a soul, we’llpretend that none of this happened…”

The lady gives Papae a hard look.

Then she gestures towards Kel.

“Grab her,” she says, to one of the men at her side. The onewho isn’t holding a gun.

“No,” Papae says. “No, don’t you touch her! She’s just agirl, she’s not a mage, leave her alone, she’s a baby, you can’t touch her-“

“Hands off, leave her alone!” Irenan says, too, and Kel endsup wedged between him and Papae but the human is a big guy. Bigger than the onechained to the pipe, with eyes like ice, and he just backhands Irenan out ofthe way.

“Don’t you touch my son!” Papae shouts. “Get your hands offof my children, get your hands off of my children!”

He’s shouting as loud as Kel has ever heard him, and she’sterrified when the man finally grabs her and drags her across the room. Shekicks at him but misses, and his grip on her arms is hard enough to bruise. Thelady doesn’t even blink. She doesn’t even really seem to look at Kel, justright through her, as the man who isn’t holding her levels is gun at Papae andIrenan, while they both fight against their handcuffs.

Kel freezes.

There’s a gun pointed at her father, at her brother.

And she can’t feel her magic. She wants to do something, she has to something, she’s the one who has magic here but she can’t feel it, and they’re gonna hurt herfamily, they’re gonna hurt her family andwhere’s Nanae-

She doesn’t even realize how hard she’s crying until the manholding her shakes her, and it’s like all the breath gets rattled right out ofher lungs.

There’s a moment of silence with her gasp. She looks atPapae, and Papae looks at her. His face all flushed and bruised, and mad andscared, and he’s still trying to keep Irenan behind him, and he’s trying toreach her, and this is the worst dream Kel has ever had.

She wants to wake up now.

“Please,” Papaesays. “She’s just a baby. My baby. Please.”

“Nothing has to happen to her,” the lady says. Her voice iscold.

They’re all so cold, these people. Monsters. Ice in theirveins.

The lady keeps talking.

“We’re just going to ask you a few questions,” she says.“And you’re going to answer them. If we like your answers, the girl will befine. If we don’t, well… my associate here has yet to practice his skills on areal abomination. The girl presents a good opportunity for him.”

Papae looks like he wants to scream.

He bites his lip instead, as Kel looks up at the man holdingher again. What skills? What’s he supposed to practice?

It sounds… bad.

“What do you want to know?” Papae asks.

The woman settles her hands in front of herself.

“How many of you are there?” she asks.

Papae blinks, and swallows.

“How many…? You… you have my whole family here. Except formy spouse. And my mother…”

The woman snaps, and the man holding her loosens his gripjust enough to pull a knife from his belt. The metal gleams, just like the gun.Papae’s eyes go wide.

“No!” he says. “I don’t know what you’re asking! What areyou asking? I’ll answer, how many what, howmany what?”

The woman makes a gesture, and the man settles the knifeagainst Kel’s shoulder. Near her neck. The blade is warm, from where it’s beenpressed against his skin. Her eyes drift towards it. Nanae told her want to do,if someone had a knife like this. Stomp on their instep, and then hit theirgroin as hard as she can, and then their elbow to make them drop it. Theyshowed her how. But she’s supposed to run away, then, and there’s nowhere torun away to.

And the other man still has a gun.

Kel looks at her brother.

Irenan shakes his head, just a little, and she stays still.

“How many abominations are there?” the lady asks. “We knowthere’s a nest. More than just your spouse and daughter. An entire infestation;so tell me, how many are there?”

Papae looks like he’s going to cry.

“I don’t know,” he says.

The lady moves and the man grabs up her hand, and Kelstruggles but he’s really, really strong, and he makes her put one of herfingers out straight and presses the knife up to it-

“FIFTEEN!” Papae shouts. “There are fifteen!”

Kel’s heart is pounding, and her eyes can’t move away fromthe sharp metal pressed close to her finger. She’s shaking. She doesn’t want toget one of her fingers cut off, she doesn’t want to, she’s so scared and theman is almost smiling now, smiling ashe holds the knife to her and stares at it, too. The lady gestures for him tostop, though, and he does. He stops again, crushing her but not cutting her.

“Nanae!” Kel cries, as hot tears spill down her cheeks.Maybe if she calls, they’ll come. They come when she calls. When she’s scared,when Papae’s hurt and her brother’s sick, they always come. “I want Nanae!”

“Quiet!” the man snaps at her.

She swallows, her vision blurring.

“You’re lying to me,” the lady says. “So I see we need toestablish the consequences of that. If you give me an answer I don’t like, I’llhurt one of your children. But if you lie…I’ll kill them. After all, you do have two, don’t you? And in the end, I’m justgoing to get everything out of your spouse as well. So I want you to tell methe truth. Even when it hurts. Honesty is cleansing, they say – and Makerknows, your ‘family’ needs a good fire.”

“No-“ Papae says.

“Let’s see if Round Two goes any better. Kill the girl,” thewoman tells the man.

He shifts his grip on the knife.

“Do it, Kel!” Irenan shouts.

All three grown-ups whip around to look at her, and thenPapae makes a sound she’s never heard him make before, and surges forward. His handcuffs clink and the pipe he’s chained to snaps, and so does his shoulder,cracking like a chicken bone as water spills out across the floor. Everythinghappens so fast, then. The lights flicker and the gun fires, and Papae tacklesthem, and Kel watches, wide-eyed and up close, as the knife sinks into hischest while they all land in a heap. The air charges up like a storm. Like theblanket that has been thrown over everything has just caught fire. She can hearIrenan wrenching himself away from the pipe, too, sliding in the spilled waterand the lady shouts something and… and…

Papae glows.

 ~

 Screecher has loved Husband for a very long time.

Since before Small Red came. Since before the cycles came.Since before the hatchlings came, and the round-ears came, and the big hornscame. Sometimes, Screecher is not sure of what is true in the world. If theyare a bird, or a spirit, or a memory. Sometimes they are not sure of ground, orthe sky, or the sea, or the places where dreams live, or the places whereclouds drift. These things could all be lies. The world is full of them. Sometimesgood lies, sometimes strange lies, sometimes nice lies, and sometimes cruellies. Tricky lies and lies that are still true, somehow, and twist themselvesup in all the things that are and all the things that are not.

But Screecher loves Husband.

This is true. This is what makes Screecher… Screecher.

And Husband loves Screecher back. Has loved Screecher backsince the Beginning of Screecher. If he did not, then this truth would not beso true. It would not be so strong. It would not be so easy for Screecher tofind Husband, when they know to look. The magic that Small Red put in theirfeathers would not shine like a beacon in the place of dreams, and Screecherwould not hear Husband so well when he is calling.

When he is screaming.

When he needs them.

It is not an easy thing to fly through the space-between-spaces,and it is not an easy thing to fly through fast-moving traps of metal androaring. The car-beast that Small Red is using to speed towards Husband, but itis not fast enough. Small Red is good for moving in the shadows. Not in thebright daylight, of roaring things, and heat, and stone.

But Screecher is Love, and Love, old and long love, made ofmany tethers which cannot break – that is something that flies, when it must.

Husband is screaming for help, in the ways of the deep, deepneeds.

So Screecher flies.

Through the car-beast and through the Other Place, throughmetal and magic and skies made of both. Screecher’s wings tear and feathersbreak, and light spills through the places where its blood flows. But there isnot time to care about such things. Love flies through the roads it made,through Bestest Nest and dirt and sky, to where Husband’s heart is beating andvoice is screaming. Through walls of stone and will, that break like glasswindows when Love barrels through them, and sends their makers staggering.

Husband is screaming.

Hurting.

Loving.

Youcan’thurthemyoucan’tmybabiesmychildrennoIwon’tletyouIwon’tletyounohelpnomybabies…

Love does not stop flying until it reaches Husband’s heart.

It has never flown so close. In all the years Screecher hasbeen trying to make a place for Husband, they have been trying to repay him, insome ways. Because Husband’s heart was Screecher’s first roost, even if theyhave never truly been there before. It is warm, and bright, and like the neststhey have tried to build, it is always too cruelly confined by things aroundit. Sometimes things which Husband has done himself. Sometimes wicked gardenerswho have come and torn out branches. Ripped out nesting, and lit fire to the edges.Taught Husband to make his heart smaller.

But when Love reaches it, Husband’s heart bursts like asong.

Like a star bursting to life in the dark place where peoplehave hurt the ones he loves.

They love.

Screecher has loved Husband for a very long time.

Thenvunin… Thenvunin never knew how much, before thatmoment. Never could have comprehended that any living thing would love him –him! – with an affection that defied eternity. Even knowing Uthvir’s love hasspanned centuries, part of him has never quite believed in it. Not that he has disbelieved it, either, but some part ofhim, he knows now, had always wondered if it were truly possible. To be soloved. To be so…

But he feels it.

He feels a love for his own self that he has never known,beating in his own heart, now.

For a moment it stills him. Like a dream, it’s a moment thatseems to take forever, and is over in the blink of an eye. And then he draws ina breath, and his chest aches. The knife in it burns like the light spillingover his skin; like the weighted things at his back. Wings. He has wings! The thought flits through him in mingled aweand perfunctory understanding. Of course he does. Of course he has wings, howelse would he fly?

But there is more to worry about than wings.

Thenvunin scoops up his daughter, as the Templars stagger. Kel. Kel, hatchli… baby. Daughter. Hisdaughter, and that man still has onehand on her, still too close. Thenvunin snatches his child away from the fiend,and then gathers up his son, too, the angles of his body still awkward but heis used to that. Awkward body. Too many limbs, and his chest with too muchache, and his arm hurting but these are things he knows. Things that matterless than his children, and getting them away from danger.

Stay away from my children!

The Templars are blown back again, but they are quicker torecover, this time, chasing after them as Thenvunin struggles up the stairs.Battering at the heavy door, with wings and arms and the air is turning again,now, drowning him as the rush of light and energy starts to sink, like theheavy weights of his children in his arms. Irenan and Kel try to kick at thedoor, as a rush of sinking, sucking energy hits Thenvunin from the Templarsbelow. The Templars, gaining. He puts his children at the door and turns toface them, using his wings to block them, making himself seem bigger andscarier. He will rend them apart!

The last lightbulb in the room dies.

The heavy door flies open; torn back off of its hinges, aspitch darkness floods down the stairwell.

“Nanae!” Kel cries, running right into it.

Irenan is not far behind her.

“Go, go,” Thenvunin murmurs, as something strikes him again.Curses and prayers. His shoulder twists and the knife wound stretches, andbleeds. Red droplets spattering against brown and white feathers. He careenssideways, but something catches him. A long, dark tendril, that curls aroundhim as whispers thicken in the air.

“The other one! Shit, the other one’s here!” one of theTemplars cries.

“Yes. I am,” Uthvir whispers, with an unspoken promise ofviolence somehow carrying through the words.

“Maker-“

The words do not get further than that before they arechoked off in a scream. Thenvunin staggers, supported by things unseen as hefinally makes his way into the darkened room. He cannot see much, but eventhough the air itself is blacker than night, he can see his children. Andflashes, here and there; of sharp things moving downwards, cracking where theyrace over the stairs behind him, and rush through the air over his head. Hehears the mage who took his children cry out, once, and then go silent; hedoesn’t spare much feeling for him.

He makes it back to his children, to a far corner of theroom, and the sense of a familiar hand settling on the shoulder that doesn’thurt.

“Thenvunin…” Uthvir whispers.

He almost falls over, again. Heavy. Too heavy. His chesthurts; his heart hurts, too much, ohhis love, his children, he needs… he can’t… it hurts…

“Help,” he manages.

Hush, the darksays. We have you.

He gathers Irenan and Kel to him, and falls into dizzyingdarkness of a different kind.

 ~

Irenan loves his family.

He knows it’s not really the ‘done thing’ for mostthirteen-year-olds to be all mushy about it, and he’s not a really bigexception on that front, but he’d never deny it. In fact he’d probably clockanyone who suggested otherwise – and some people have. Being adopted’s notalways easy, for a lot of reasons, and being adopted by parents who look sodifferent has its own issues.

But Irenan loves his family. He loves his nanae, who scoopedhim up out of a public orphanage when he was too little to remember anythingmore than some bright colours, and the plastic tray of his highchair, and theway their leather jacket felt underneath his cheek. His loves his papae, whodotes and fusses and is always worrying if his horns are itching, if his hairis alright, if he’s hungry or cold or lonely. He loves his Gramma, who made himhis favourite pink flamingo costume when he was four, and who always calls himher ‘tiny grandson’, even though he’s nearly as tall as Nanae now and everyone knows he’s probably going to be big. Heloves his little sister, who’s always quiet and shy until she decides to beanything but. He loves his big sister, who lives out in the wilds and raises dragons and used to let Irenan ride onher shoulders until he got too big for it.

He loves his family. He trusts them to be his anchor in thestorms. So even though his nanae can get dark and creepy and weird, he’s neverafraid of them. And when his papae suddenly starts glowing and sprouting wings,he’s still more worried about the knife in his chest than what he might havedone.

There’s… a lot of blood.

And his hands are still cuffed. He’s got them slung around Kel,anyway, but he can’t exactly pull out the knife and he probably shouldn’t because then his father might bleed to death, but there’s so muchmagic going around he doesn’t know if having the knife in there is keeping himfrom healing or what. He doesn’t know exactly what his papae’s done, or if it’sall his nanae – his papae’s not a mage,he’s not supposed to be able to do anything – and he’s almost crying, becausethe place their in is dark and full of whispers. But they’re his nanae’swhispers.

His nanae came. He was right after all.

And they’ll know what to do, but they’re also busy fightingoff the Templars, so they can’t do it right now. His papae crumbles in a heapof blood and light and wings. Kel wriggles her way out of his grip, but Irenandoesn’t fight her, just makes his way over and helps roll their father onto hisback. So the knife doesn’t get pushed further in. He’s sweating, and his handsare shaking. His ears keep ringing with the sound of the shot that had goneoff, in the basement. The one that had nearly hit him. And the guy holding theknife to his sister; the knife in his father. The one that had nearly killedher, while all Irenan could do was watch.

He can hear them screaming, now.

He wonders if it’s messed up that he likes it. That everyshout they make, makes something in him answer with a vindictive snarl ofsatisfaction. He hopes his nanae is tearing them apart.

But then he remembers. He’s a big brother. He reaches overand covers Kel’s ears, because Papae can’t exactly do it, now can he?

She squirms.

“Irenan-”

“No, don’t listen,” he says. “Papae wouldn’t want you to.”

Kel gives him a mulish look, even though her face is alltear-streaked and messy, and she’s shaking, too. But then she reaches up anddeterminedly clamps her hands over his own ears, and Irenan kind of laughs.Bubbling and hysterical.

He hopes Nanae knows which one held the knife to her. Hehopes they rip off all of his fingers.

It takes a while for the screaming to stop, so he thinksthere’s a decent chance of it. He’s not sure where exactly their nanae is, in the dark. They can change shape a lot,and Irenan’s kinda thinking that they might actually be everywhere. But not long after the screaming stops, some lightstarts to filter in through the windows. The door downstairs swings shut with asolid clunk. Irenan starts to makeout more things about their surroundings. Dusty walls, and a table, and whatlooks like the front room of a house that hasn’t seen a lot of kind use. There’ssome bird crap on the walls, and cracks on the floor. Plants growing throughthe windowsills here and there. Outside he sees trees and bushes, rather thanother buildings or sidewalk.

Nanae walks over. Not really seeming to come from anywherein particular, but not exactly stepping out of nowhere, either. Papae’s stoppedglowing, although he’s still bleeding. Irenan has to resist the urge to rushover to his other parent as they check his father’s knife wound, but he doesn’thave to resist it for long. A blink, and his nanae’s fiddling with the lock onhis handcuffs, and then pulling them off.

Kel clings to their nanae’s side, latching on, and Irenantips forward and their arms come around them both. However small his nanae is,they never seem to have a problem holding everyone.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I’ve got you, now,” they say. “Nanae’sgot you.”

Kel starts bawling, then, and Irenan… doesn’t do muchbetter.

He’s not really sure how Nanae gets them all out of thederelict old farm house and into the car. He thinks they grow an extra pair ofarms, maybe, but he’s not really paying a whole lot of attention. Outside it’sa clear and sunny day, just as it had been a few hours ago. Nanae makes him andKel get in the car, but doesn’t stop them from watching as they heal Papae. Theair tingles with the spells they start casting, as they pull out the knife, andthen straighten the wrong angle of his arm.

Irenan watches their fingers carefully brush the hair out ofPapae’s face, and something in him eases, just a little. Something he didn’trealize was still tight and hard, that eases even more when he sees the steadyrise and fall of his father’s chest.

From the car window, he can see his papae’s wings betternow, too. Big and mottled, and there’s something kinda familiar about them, butnot in a way that he can place. There are feathers on other parts of him, too,Irenan realizes. And his fingernails are black, and clawed like Nanae’s areright now. Long and sharp as talons. His shape doesn’t change back, even as helies there.

“Is Papae okay?” Kel asks. She’s holding Irenan’s shirt sotight it feels like it might rip.

Nanae looks up.

“He’ll be fine,” they say. “He’s just very, very tired now.Magic’s not easy, especially when you’ve never done it before.”

“How’d Papae do magic?” Kel asks.

Nanae looks up at them, and is quiet for a long moment.

“He made a deal with a spirit,” they finally say. “It’sharder for non-mages to do that, but it is possible. He was… it was very braveof him.”

They brush a hand over Papae’s cheek. Irenan almost thinkshe sees it shake, a little.

“We have to go,” Nanae says, finally. “There are things totalk about – I need to check you both, first, and make sure you’re okay – but wecan’t stay here. And we can’t go back to the apartment. I’m sorry. We’ll haveto go someplace else, and it will take some driving to get there. So I need youtwo to just hold on, until we’re safe. Can you do that?”

Kel nods, straight away. Irenan hesitates a little longer.He has a lot of questions, but… he understands.

He does.

So he nods, too. Nanae smiles at them, and then he has themcome out of the car – first Kel, then Irenan – and checks them over. Healingtheir bumps and scrapes and bruises. Irenan hadn’t even realized how bad hiswrists were hurting until they stop. Kel gets double-checked when Irenanmentions that the shapeshifting stranger used magic on her, and their nanae isquiet like they’re being very deliberatelyquiet; like they don’t want to do anything that might seem frightening. Buttheir hands are gentle and careful as ever as they cast their last healingspell.

Then they have to fit Papae into the car.

Wings and all.

In the end Irenan helps fold him into the backseat, whichleaves just enough room for Kel to squeeze in with his head on her lap. Then hegets into the front seat, while Nanae drives.

He thinks he sees their hands shaking on the wheel.

His own have stopped, but only just barely.

“Are you okay, Nanae?” he asks, quietly.

They look at him.

And then they reach over, and brush a hand across his head.Between his horns. For a few seconds, their eyes slide shut. Like they’retrying to feel the whole car, and everyone in it; and know they’re alright.

Irenan gets it.

“We’ll all beokay,” they promise.

It’s not the easy answer. But Nanae doesn’t give easyanswers, they give true ones, and right now, he thinks that works better than aplatitude would. Because it wasn’t okay. None of that was okay, and now thatthey’re not in danger, he thinks he might be angry. He thinks he might be hurt,and furious, and frustrated, and a little broken by it all. But it will be okay. It will be okay again,because his nanae said so and because they wouldn’t tell him that if it was impossible.

He lets out a breath. They put their hand back on the wheel,and then start the car again. The engine rumbling quietly as they pull off downan unfamiliar dirt road, overgrown and dusty.

There’s nothing on the radio, and nobody seems inclined tolook. After a while the crunch of the road beneath the tires starts to lullthrough him, and exhaustion takes over everything else. They’re safe. Nanae’sgot them. Irenan shuts his eyes and leans his head against the window, andwants to be home so badly it burns. He’s too big to go crawl into his parents’bed anymore, but that’s exactly wants he want to do. He wants to wake up in it,five years old again, with Nanae chasing away the last of his bad dream, and Papaesnoring gently beside him, and his baby sister snug against his chest andprobably drooling on him.

He doesn’t know if that’s a real memory, or just a bunch ofimpressions fitted together. But it works, and so he imagines it, as the carrolls along and the scent of rotten basement lingers like a bad aftertaste.

Eventually, the dirt road turns off onto a bigger dirt road.And then onto the highway, just like it’s a weekend trip to visit Eda. Nanaekeeps driving until it’s after dark, before turning off and up another dusty,winding Fereldan road, and into the parking square for a motel that they’venever stayed at before. Kel’s asleep by then, slumped against the seat withPapae’s head still in her lap, but both of them are breathing and neither ofthem are bleeding. Irenan thinks he should pick up his sister, help out withthe heavy lifting; but Nanae tells him to go open the door to their room, andhe does, too tired to really manage much else.

Not that Nanae looks much better. They carry Kel in first,and then Papae, though. Settling them both onto the same bed, before they closethe door, and start laying down wards.

By the time they finish, they’re staggering.

Irenan moves reluctantly over to the unoccupied bed.

“Sorry, kiddo,” Nanae says, catching him by the shoulder. “Ionly warded one bed. You’ll have to cram in together.”

Irenan feels a rush of relief. He nods in acknowledgement,not even inclined to complain as he strips to his shorts, and escapes more ofthe lingering scent of that basement. He wants a bath and a shower and maybe asteam clean, some salve for his horns and oil for his scalp, for he barelymanages to get himself and Kel under the covers. Nanae tucks in Papae, then pullssome blankets off of the second bed, and settles down onto the floor besidehim, with Papae’s wings dipping off of the mattress. Really close to a lampthat’s probably going to meet a tragic fate in the morning.

Whatever, he thinks.

They’ll deal with it when everyone wakes up. Just like allthe questions they haven’t gotten around to yet.