#obito: lmao nice try

[mixelation]

me pressing my face to your blog like the 'sickos' guy looking at reborn au au: YES. HAHA YES

IT'S NOT A SUSTAINABLE AU. IT'S JUST OBITO MURDERING HIS WAY THROUGH THE PLOT BECAUSE SOMEONE LOOKED AT HIS FRIEND WRONG

[lilacqiqis]

"Darling"

naruto, kakashi, obito(non massacre), hinata, itachi(non massacre), sasuke, sai

Scenario: getting casually called darling by their crush

A/N: pls send in Naruto reqs I'm starving to write stuff, also finally decided to give characters specific emojis LMAO last post i made i randomly gave them emojis 😭 Writing this at 3 AM sorry if it's ass -mod Lilac

TW: none, GN!reader

more under the cut

🌱 Naruto isn't used to romantic affection from people, let alone his crush, so his reaction when you call him "darling" is a huge gaping mouth and stuttering as he tries to process what you said

🌱 "W-wait!! Whuh?! Huhhh?!! Whaddja call me?!"

🌱 Whether it's a joke or not he has a dorky smile after as he laughs, the pet name making him feel warm inside. He probably will try and call you a pet name back afterwards, hoping you'll like it just as much as he did.

🌱 Goes to brag to all his friends the next day. "Hey hey! Guess what?! S/O called me DARLING!!" Nobody really cares too much honestly, they think he's overreacting or even lying.

🌾 A stoic man he is, that Kakashi. Not much can get him flustered, besides reading Icha Icha of course.

🌾 He usually can keep his feelings hidden away from his crush, treating you like any of his other friends, but when you call him darling? Lucky that he's wearing a mask because you'd be able to see the huge blush forming on his face.

🌾 He'd try not to react too much, his eye slightly widening and body tensing up when the word hits him. It felt so... Natural? The pet name came off your tongue so nicely that Kakashi can't help but want to hear it more.

🌾 Wouldn't comment on it, but may bring it up in the future to tease you. Perhaps to get back at them he'll also call you a romantic pet name... Nah, he's too nervous to do that, if he was that bold he'd go and just confess already!

🌺 Like Naruto, Obito is flabbergasted. He's liked you for gods who knows how long and you can just casually call him that while he becomes a mess just hugging you?

🌺 His head whips towards you so quickly as he stares at you with wide eyes. How is he supposed to react to this?! Does this mean you like him...? Did you even mean this romantically in the first place? Do you call other people that too?!

🌺 His mind is running and he just kinda... Stares at you in awe. Don't let him down by telling him it was just a joke when he questions you later, he'll be devastated.

🌺 Obito will try and be confident, calling you an affectionate pet name as well but all that comes out is stuttering.

🌺 "Heheh... I think so too, s... S-sweet... Sw-sweethEART OKIMGOINGTOGONOWBYES/O"

🌻 Goes absolutely red. Hinata already gets embarrassed by little gestures so something like getting called darling is sure to make her pass out!

🌻 Did you really mean that? She hopes so! That small name made her day, and she won't ever forget about it<3

🌻 Of course, she's still too shy to admit her feelings to you. If that was your way of confessing you'd be dumb to not see that she obviously likes you too... You'd probably be dumb to not notice her behavior before, after all Hinata isn't very good at hiding her feelings towards you.

🌻 She wouldn't realize it's a confession of your attraction if that was your motive, so please be more blunt with her.

🌙 If you think he wouldn't remember, he will. Itachi is a romantic individual, though not as much before a relationship. He takes note of everything S/O says, and will try to hint towards his feelings through small actions and words.

🌙 Absolutely loves it. Itachi will think about the pet name, wondering if you'd mind if he called you that as well. Maybe you'd get embarrassed that you're getting a taste of your own medicine? It's not the humiliation part Itachi would enjoy, but he'd love to see your flustered face.

🌙 Doesn't make a huge fuss when you call him darling, probably doesn't even say anything about it, but has a small smile while thinking about it.

🌙 Will begin to also call you pet names!! It depends on how close you are, but if you two are good friends he'll return your affection. You two probably end up having a lot of romantic tension while everybody suffers watching wondering if one of you two will finally confess or not...

🪻 Sasuke loves hates it. Do NOT call him that cheesy warm and gooey shit, he will scoff at you then turn his head away. jk he just has an ego to protect

🪻 Hates how it makes him feel. That disgusting ticklish feeling he gets in his stomach and the heat in his face makes him feel weak and vulnerable, so stop that. This is just as bad as a genjutsu and he doesn't like it one bit!

🪻 In reality though, Sasuke adores being called darling. He's just... Really bad at dealing with affection you know? He doesn't know how to react and the feeling of love is so foreign to him, so his only way of reacting is acting like he hates it in hopes of ridding his feelings. (Spoiler alert:it doesn't help one bit.)

🪻 You can catch him with a soft blush and tiny smirk on his face if you can catch a glance before he turns his head. Quit being such a loser and just accept it, Sasuke!

🪶 This was mentioned in his book, so Sai should act accordingly, right? He'll begin to also call you pet names, and he probably already did before you due to the fact he read a book saying he should...

🪶 Doesn't quite understand the meaning behind the sweet names but he's trying his best

🪶 It makes him happy though, being able to connect with you... Someone he enjoys being around so much, someone who he feels he has a "special" bond with.

🪶It creeps into your twos friendship, and before you know it you two are acting like a married couple with all your affectionate behavior.

[uchihaharlot]

I didn't mean to break their hearts, I was just curious, srry!😭😭 (but Itachi's one was kinda funny-)

But anyway, now I'm wondering about how they would react if they found out that you can draw really cool and beautiful.

(I'm an artist, so😎)

Nonny 🥹🥹

That put me in an really good mood; lol. That was way too fun to write; maybe I can one day write a super angsty break up (but I love them too much!!!).

I love all artists 😭😭😭 Painters, writers — digital or paper. Anything that expresses the inner workings of someone’s mind and the fact that they can manifest it to reality is so so so beautiful. I hope I’ve secretly seen your art, I’d probably simp over it. Always simp over art. 😂😂🥹🥹

N/SFW; very cute Uchiha men adoring your artwork! 🥹🥹🥹 (ooc Madara??); Simpy Obito; …Scandalous Shisui; abnormally observant Itachi 😂 suggestive themes rolled out the further I got. For some reason, I just had to. (P.s. I should not be allowed to write when tired??? Half of this was done while my eyes rolled shut in bed).

Madara:

It’s not everyday that Madara is blown like a leaf in the wind. When you mentioned being a patron of the arts, he thought maybe the art of battle?? Didn’t expect your weapon to be a paint brush with some acrylic paint. Thought it was some weird jutsu infused shit.

And then you just had to go above and beyond and do a portrait of him for his birthday!!!!! It’s hung on the living room center wall so that it’s the first thing anyone sees! Honestly, this man is a brute, but your art envokes his softer side! A side that he hasn’t been in touch with for…well, a long time.

Makes sure that everyone and I mean, everyone, is aware of your talent! Still, he tries to find the side hussle in it, soliciting customers for you and all. 😭😭 Will trash talk the chalk art children make on the sidewalk, which ‘…that’s not nice, they’re children..’ you say. He shrugs, nobody is as good as you.

Obito:

Finds out and tries to ‘secretly’ commission you lmao. Makes it totally obvious too, his handwriting is shit and eveeeerrryyyyone knows who Tobi really is…. Plus how can you even begin without discussing what he wants done!! Duh, Obito! Unfortunately for him, you are more interested in drawing matters of the flesh. He’ll only show his chest, nothing more.

‘That’s fine.’ You shrug, and get to work. Obito, however, does not have the resolve to sit still! It’s frustrating to no end, but alas, after what seems an eternity— its done. Sort of. Still much to add, but the basics are there and you’ll work better when he’s not asking how does it look every twenty minutes.

Eventually you do finish this beautiful piece of him, and Obito cries. You made his scars tolerable and beautiful with your mind’s creativity, he feels less self conscious about them, only a little.

Shisui:

Is the least normal about it when he discovered your sketchbook — more like snatched and played keep away. Had to fight him for it, literally. Will ask you to paint/draw him naked…many times lol and you respectfully say no... Not that he likes people to see him naked (ok maybe a little?) but he secretly hopes it might happen one day. It would be a private thing for the two of you, cause he wants that ass.

And when you do cave to his whim, just to satiate him. He’s nervous lmao. Had this oh so macho man idea of rocking a hard on but Shisui simply maintains his usual semi. It’s nice though, you make sure it’s extremely detailed..as he asked for.

But, ‘(y/n)… this is chibbi!!!’ Lol, jokes on Shisui!! He didn’t say how to draw his pp.

Itachi:

Is the most normal about it. Though he still will praise you every time you finish a piece and show him, he is still massively impressed. How does your wrist not get tired? …maybe this is why your hand jobs are so good. 😈 Just watching you try a new technique (pointillism, which is my favorite style) makes his wrist hurt. Enjoys when you ask him for ideas! He has lots of them! Mostly…obscure and derelict landscapes though.

Would not be opposed to having his portrait done, but it’s really not his style. He is disciplined enough to sit still but doesn’t see the value in it. Not until the final product is revealed, does he truly understand how important this piece was. You’ve captured his personality in a new light.

[kawkawsrii]

boruto era kakashi + godaime obito idea (with a ghostbito addition for the sillies)

omg guys hear me out, boruto era Kakashi getting into some shenanigans with a scroll and accidentally dimension traveling to a world where Obito is hokage and needs some help (minato, rin, and kushina r still kicking dwdw). I think in this other world, Obito would be the Godaime, he’s a little bit into the job- but still it’s new to him and he needs some help w it- but he doesn’t want to bug Minato too much about it / Hiruzen is not there but when is he ever lmao (interpret that as he already dead or just ready to peace out in a hospital bed). I think this could be obkk, but it’s much more explicit in the ghostbito addition. Obkk is like two birds on a wire for me, regardless of whether they are platonic or romantic, they will be together and no I won’t shut up about them.

So… Obito decides he’s gonna try some- interdimensional guidance, through the power of bs / tobirama what the fuck / hey this is fanfic don’t take it to seriously / help a boyfailure out here / minato’s well intentioned advice turned into the best or worst idea yet (bro could have added “this just my opinion tho” 😭😭😭) obito has himself an interesting little project. He finds one of Tobirama’s secret, personal projects. A scroll that erases itself everyday. Just kidding, a scroll that can communicate with other worlds (one that was never finished in his world, but was in Kakashi’s). While Tobirama never finished it, he speculates that in another world- he did finish it and if the scroll were ever finished in Hokagebito’s world, communication w/ that other world would be possible. He asks Kushina for advice without mentioning the scroll directly and raises her eyebrow, but ultimately just tells him bc she trusts Obito. Oh boy… so he gets the scroll working. Well done genius. “But what if it’s not another hokage?” There’s no harm in trying. Plus- the other person doesn’t NEED to know he’s the godaime- and worst comes to worst, he can just go RIPPPPP to that sucker lmao.

“Hey who this?” - Godaime. Nah im kidding, he writes a formal letter to the other side explaining that he completed Tobirama’s scroll, that he wants to see if it worked, that he needs… a friend. (Leaving out the fact that he’s the godaime)

Now, Kakashi gets the scroll in a very unique situation. Moreso- Tsunade gifted it to him on one of his birthdays (bc sakumo hung around w the sannin a lot) and was like “ur kid a little genius right, maybe he can figure out what this is for” bc Tobirama in Kakashi’s world never specified what it was for (or if he did, the note fell off). He’s never cared about it beyond “oh this was made by the second hokage!” (if u follow into the Tobirama is Kakashi’s grandpa theory, it’s a nice nod to his grandpa, I actually really like this head canon but I think I’ll leave it out of here). But it’s blank. Did Tsunade just-… gift him a blank scroll because the second hokage once touched it? For the next 30-40 years of his life, thats what Kakashi thinks and admittedly it’s really funny (and sweet in a way), so he keeps it on a shelf and looks at it whenever he needs to remember the simpler days.

And then, one day, the blank scroll has some writing on it.

Oh. It was- for talking with someone from another world? Okay… Kakashi’s seen weirder, still weird, but weird in a way he can somewhat comprehend. So he writes something on the other half of the scroll, and pretends that it doesn’t resemble Obito’s horrid writing (because what the hell?).

On the flip side, Obito is ecstatic, because it worked! Whoever wrote to him, must also be a hokage right? So he asks, “how did you get this scroll?”

“A friend gifted it to me”

“… you’re friends with the NIDAIME?” He has to be someone important then right?

“Not exactly.” Okay then, if he has the scroll, he has to be the current hokage. Because how could Tobirama let this scroll fall into just anyone’s hands?

“Who’s the hokage in your world?”

“Who’s the hokage in yours?” Wow, okay… and then “How many have there been in yours?”

“Five”

“Seven”

And so on. It’s like an online friendship in a way, except they’re chatting with someone worlds away. Eventually, Obito begins asking for advice (advice that’s thinly veiled as work advice (really it’s hokage work but he tries to mask it as something else)). Not because he knows the other was the Rokudaime, but because the other has become a bit of a… friend. Kakashi however, sees through this and when something only a hokage understand slips, confronts Hokage Obito “You’re the Godaime”

“Ah. Was it… obvious?”

“For the Rokudaime, yes.”

Oh. Obito becomes even more excited, and they begin signing off on their letters with Godaime and Rokudaime. Obito assumes that this Rokudaime is younger than him and apologies for asking so much advice (because if he’s the Rokudaime, the Obito in that world must have retired now). It’s just- this Rokudaime is so wise, knowledgeable, a bit of a know it all… reminds him of Kakashi. (Kakashi who he misses with all his heart, who should have been there to watch him become Hokage, who should have been there to help him with the damn papers.)

(Kakashi, whose death weighs on him heavier than any boulder).

Either way, he lets his age slip one day. On the other side, Kakashi just laughs “No, you’re younger. The kids over here have started calling me old man. How rude.” It goes on like that for a little longer. A few months into it, Minato, Rin, and Kushina find out what he’s been doing. They tease him of course, but they also worry. Obito says there’s nothing to be worried about, but still it’s some stranger right? On occasion, Rin watches as Obito writes to the stranger and wonders who could be on the other side. Kushina is worried but also upset that Obito never told her about his success! This is huge! How could he not tell her!? Minato is proud, worried, and calming down Kushina who goes on a tangent. One day, they decide to all see one of Obito and mysterious Rokudaime’s chats themselves. In some freak accident, there’s a bright glow. And then Obito’s gone, with only the scroll. Kushina obv begins to reverse engineer that crap to bring back Obito-

On the other side, Obito finally meets his inter dimensional pen pal.

What the fuck.

“YOU’RE THE ROKUDAIME?” “Obito?” That shuts him up really quickly, because Obito hasn’t heard Kakashi’s voice in such a long time. Aside from that, he’s never heard it in such a tone. “How?” Obito asks, “Was this a bet between us? Congratulations- I feel bad for this version of me though-” Kakashi makes some sad sound at that, his brows kind of furrow in a way that make’s Obito’s stomach twist. Obito can’t help but run up to this Kakashi and hug him. It’s not… too weird right? Technically they’re friends. And technically they did know each other! So, they sit on the blanket of grass, a bright clear blue sky day that Kakashi has decided to enjoy under a tree and one of jiraiya’s pervy novels??? They talk for a minute, two, three, then for about an hour until Obito can feel himself being pulled back. Before he is, he apologizes. For everything, for burdening Kakashi, for making him save Rin, for letting Kakashi fall apart, and for… Kakashi’s death.

Kakashi is in shock, but he assures Obito that… if it was him, truly him, then he had no problems with it.

When Obito returns to his world, he returns a little bit more confident, but also… he returns with tears in his eyes. Happy. Sad. Hopeful.

“I saw him. The Rokudaime. I saw Kakashi.”

Now… I could end this here. And, if you like leaving it at that, then it ends with the scroll being destroyed as a result of Kushina’s interference to bring Obito back. HOWEVER- if u like ghostbito / actual, solid not up to interpretation obkk have I got a pitch for u

GHOSTBITO IDEA

The scroll isn’t destroyed, rather, it gains a new attribute. Being able to travel between worlds, and when Obito is yanked back… so is Kakashi. Whoopsies! Cue, really really emotional scene, omg Kakashi grew up! OMG KAKASHI BECAME HOKAGE- and also cue, Obito showing Kakashi around his Konoha (which is sort of the same, but with many differences. For one, the Uchiha are still around. For two, Minato, Kushina, and Rin are alive. For three, Obito was Team 7’s sensei). Yeah it’s sort of a date, but Obito won’t admit that and Kakashi is oblivious bc free vacation (out of Obito’s salary).

When it’s time for Kakashi to go back, they decide. Maybe, they’ll keep seeing each other, keep being friends. Now they’re not, exactly each other’s Kakashi and Obito, but they can be new friends instead. A new introduction is needed, so they reintroduce themselves. Okay now, Ghostbito is def still looking out for Kakashi. Yeah he’s enjoying the afterlife w/ Rin, ofc, but sometimes… he can’t help but take a peak into Kakashi’s life. Now, seeing that Kakashi had a pen pal was exciting, fun even. Until he sees who the pen pal was, and until he (who’s attached to Kakashi) is also dragged into the dimension travel. Because NO! Kakashi is his teammate! That Obito is not him! It’s childish and Obito has 100% stopped being like that ages ago, but also he can’t help it. That Obito didn’t give Kakashi his eye, he did.

And he sees it, the things Kakashi misses, the way this Obito blushes around Kakashi like how he did around Rin all those years ago. The way this Obito offers his hand in jest (but not really) to drag Kakashi to all of his favorite spots. The way Kakashi looks happy-, oh. Kakashi looks happy. Who is he to ruin that for Kakashi? No, he won’t. Not again. And it’s not like he has beef with Kakashi… no, he has beef with… himself??? Well, he has beef with this Obito!!!

Cue, Godaime Obito getting haunted as ghostbito starts beefing w/ himself from another world. Both of whom, have feelings for Kakashi albeit only one of them can actually pursue him. I think Ghostbito wants Kakashi to move on, but like… NOT LIKE THIS 😭😭😭 in his opinion it’s like a downgrade like why couldn’t Kakashi just be w literally anyone else? Gai, Iruka, Anko, Yamato, Mei, Shizune- literally anyone else!!!

Feel free to add on, I just had a crack idea and began to roll with it. This also led me to another idea, but instead of Ghostbito and Godaimebito beefing it’s Jonin/about to be Godaime Obito and Post-war Obito beefing (w similar plot points being the dimension travel). I just think Obito having beef w every alternate self he encounters is really funny, that man doesn’t play, especially if it’s about his teammates like 😭😭😭 also the idea of Joninbito AU! Obito and Kakashi meeting Postwar AU Obito and Kakashi is funny, I’ll write it later methinks

[theheirofthesharingan]

[[ love your post about itachi vs obito, but i wanna add! a lot of itachi haters blame itachi for sasuke learning the truth and sasuke "forgiving him", when it was Obito who spilled the beans and made itachi look sympathetic. itachi never wanted sasuke to forgive him, but itachi antis constantly overlook that as if itachi himself begged at sasuke's feet lmao. ]]

Oh, yes. That's another brand of stupidity that exists in the fandom. They take Obito's words verbatim when he says the clan was oppressed, but keep looking for the excuses when he also says Itachi was a victim. After Obito, Danzo confirms it.

And then Hiruzen does the same.

Adding further:

But - but... This isn't canon because the "nuances" to why Danzo and Hiruzen are saying nice things about Itachi must be considered. :) :) And those nuances always lead to the conclusion that Itachi was pure evil who woke up and chose violence, even if they can't produce a single penal as evidence other than their hurt feelings.

These people are angry as if Itachi himself wanted Sasuke to forgive him when that's not true. Even when Edo Itachi met Sasuke in the woods, he tries to evade him. His last effort to keep Sasuke from fighting for him, which he'd learned from Naruto, was Sasuke going to do. He didn't ever want Sasuke to fight for him, honour him and, most importantly, lose his friends for him. He believed - and maybe even hoped - Sasuke would never learn his truth and suffer as a result, and his negative opinion on Itachi would never falter. And then he outright stated - You don't ever have to forgive me.

What is so convoluted about it that people can't understand this?

If this isn't enough, some people claim that Edo Itachi was trying to "manipulate" Sasuke into loving him because he treated Sasuke with kindness. The other half of this tribe rants that Itachi was "cruel" for being aloof and distant and should have shown more affection.

But.. I'm sorry, but what do you want?

Where is consistency? Where is consistency in your hatred?

These people refuse to see Itachi as a human being. They forget that the Shinobi world, on the whole, is like a living, breathing monster that feeds on young children and even adults' grief. Being dead didn't mean Itachi was in therapy. He lived and died with so much pain and never, ever experienced happiness. We don't love him because "he never did anything wrong", but because he did everything wrong and owned up to all of it, even if all of it wasn't entirely his fault when these two bastards existed.

If people can see Sasuke, Kakashi, Naruto living hellish life as budding Shinobi and then pretend Itachi was just born with this evil streak who did horrible things because he was bored, I'm not going to take them seriously.

[tsukuyomii45]

Do you have any Obirin modern NSFW Headcanons?

We need a bit spicy thing about them after all of the sweet things

!!! NSFW - NO MINORS !!!

Obito and Rin are definitely a spicy couple. I've mentioned several times that they are both very horny for each other and Rin herself is very kinky - and this is for all types of AU, lol.

Now for a modern AU, click here to read my headcanons for what my version of a modern ObiRin AU would look like, and that's what the NSFW headcanons will be based on here:

~

-They both enjoy having sex in the backseat of Obito's car after a nice night out together. They'd park somewhere discreet or maybe just in the garage of their home and Rin would be riding him while trying not to hit her head on the roof of the car, lmao. Sometimes she'd give him head while he's driving, too.

-They like to roleplay; where Obito "arrests" Rin under the charges of being "naughty" or Obito would pretend to be Rin's patient in need of "sexual healing".

-They fucked in each other's respective workplaces too; mainly in the office or on a hospital cot under the excuse of "catching a break" and "winding down", lmao.

-Rin likes it when Obito gets rough on her. Hairpulling, spanking, choking; just him dominating her gets her going so much. Obito's nasty side is her favorite thing to see in bed after a normal day of him being his loving self.

-They'd get touchy in the shooting range at Obito's work when Obito shows Rin how to shoot a gun (since Obito is a cop). He'd be standing behind her, leaning closely, and casually touching and stroking her as the sexual tension starts to rise between them. (Yes they'd make sure to put the gun away before they start wanting to get all freaky with each other).

-Make up sex is their favorite type of intimacy. Their fallout doesn't involve a loud fight, but more of getting upset with each other and needing to take a short break before coming together and hashing things out, and then they'd assure one another that they love each other and didn't mean to cause any harm or pain, and one kiss turns into the two of them passionately having sex.

-They're definitely the type of couple who'd just go all "Netflix and Chill." They'd put on a show they don't care about and just fuck right there on the couch.

-The beach is 100% Rin's favorite place to get all freaky. It would start off with Obito rubbing sunscreen on her, and then he starts sinfully touching her, or Rin would sit on his lap and grind on him. Or if they head over to a spa, they'd definitely sneak into the sauna room just to do it there.

~

That's all I got for now. I'm not very good with Modern AU settings since I'm more familiar with the canon universe XD There are already NSFW headcanons posted in the tag "Infinite Dream".

[kidsinsaturn]

Hi love..I know you said you would do requests until you were feeling better.

By the way I hope you do! And get well as soon as possible if you aren’t..! But I wanted to ask this before I forget it again!

Awkward sex headcannons for Itachi,Shisui and Obito

awkward sex headcanons

[🗼] hahah this is such a fun request !!

characters: itachi uchiha; shisui uchiha; obito uchiha

genre: nsfw

warnings: gn!reader

..

..

..

-ohh baby boy itachi is so flustered at the beginning of your sexual relations !!!

-ok I know it's not exactly an awkward thing, but he is awkward

-it's most likely that you are his first time in everything: kiss, partner, sex; so he doesn't really know what to do in most situations or how to act

-you might be waiting for itachi to move a finger once your legs are wide open for him to shove in, but he is just looking at your pussyy,,, it's his first time seeing a coochie so he doesn't know what to do lmao

-he is also very quiet at first, not daring to try dirty talk or even talk at all, so it could be a bit awkward just you making sounds and itachi is just thrusting his hips without even sighing oh god

-but that's just at the very beginning,, then he is a lot more experienced, open, and he already knows what to do, he picks up really quickly so this phase just lasts about two weeks depending on how many times you fuck

-so now that your relationship is established and everything, I can't think of many things that can make sex uncomfortable

-if we are on the regular Naruto setting, then itachi might suffer a bit from his illness when he fucks you:(( he tries not to cough or make you unpleasant but he sometimes can't help it

-OKAY but this aint angsty shit ok so let's continue with the random hc,,, itachi may finish a bit quicker when you are wearing lingerie ok

-this mf loves lingerie and he might just cum in his pants the moment you walk in with your little panties on; itachi can't simply help himself, he won't even try to take it off you and before you know it, itachi is fucking you against the nearest wall

-he looks so funny when he is all desperate hah a

-shisui my only love

-you already know I think this guy gets hard just from making out with you hajsks so his dick stays as hard as from the beginning while you are having sex

-shisui can't help it ok, he feels so hot the moment you breaths are mixed and when you finally connect your lips, he can feel his pants tightening

-his balls might as well enlarge sometimes, his blood rushes not only to his cock but also to his balls, making them so fucking heavy

-this bitch ends up with a huge bulge once you stop making out, he feels so ashamed and disgraceful especially if you are out in public

-he might ask for a jacket to cover up pfff lmao

-shisui is also very talkative during sex, more if he is overstimulated because he can no longer control his corporal movements

-you might get irritated by his voice by the end because of how much shit he talks about lol but he has a nice, sexy voice when he is all horny

-dirty talk is also something he really likes and he tries to include it as much as he can during your intercourse, but sometimes he says shit too out of context that isn't simply for the situation lmaoo

-shisui is a sex machine ok, that's my hottest take on him, so most of the time, he lasts about two or three rounds, and he won't care if you no longer resist

-of course if you ask him to stop, he will, he isn't an asshole he loves you

-BUT the way he can manhandle you when you all drained off is so sexy yet shameful for you because you seem like some sort of doll and depending if you like those things you might like it or not

-shisui is also someone who enjoys being all naked while having sex, that's why he doesn't try public sex as much because he sweats a lot and he wants to take off all his clothes to feel fresher

-it doesn't matter if you have most of your clothes on though, but for him, he prefers to always be naked, not that you mind of course my boy has a great physique

-haha obito my little butterfly

-of course this guy has so many awkward sex headcanons !! he never felt the touch of someone !!

-first off, he is getting hard the moment you step in the room,, especially if you are dressed up for an occasion or for him ??? he might even explode in the spot

-obito is so awkward initiating a sexual conversation lmao yes you guys might know each other for years and he has touched and seen all your body but he still feels so sheepish saying sexy things

-some things he says might be so fucking random and they make no sense and you don't even know if he is trying to get you to fuck or just asking you some random daily questionnaire

-"did you use that lotion we have in the bathroom?"

-my goood obito pff

-in the most desperate case, he might search in wikihow how to flirt with your partner of three years

-aside from the weird awkward conversation you had before sex, fucking with obito is so hot and good

-he might fool you with the weird shit he does because when he is in bed with you, he is a complete beast

-he knows how to use his body right, but that doesn't erase the fact that he might cum in the first seven minutes ok !!

-his libido is actually quite high, but he still cums very quickly because he can get very aroused and horny from just seeing you haha

-obito feels a bit embarrassed though:( like you havent even had a single orgasm and he is already spilling his load

-sex can get a bit awkward from there because obito doesn't really want to continue but he still does to make you finish at least,, he is really good at it of course so he doesn't feel bad no more

-obito is a baby so he might feel a bit emotional after sex and he might even cry lmao so pls console him and be with him

[hoe-imaginess]

u literally cant mention embarrassing kinks that tobirama has and not write headcanons abt them ... please ... i'm begging ... maybe hcs for embarrassing kinks (and their S/O finding out) for tobirama and kakashi ?? (or iruka and obito lol)

kkskskssksksk warning ahead for.... mention of lactation(?)...

Tobirama

⤰⤰⤰

He just..... this fucking guy ..... I can’t stand him...

If you’ve got big tits keep them away from this man. He doesn’t... know how to handle them

He... would REALLY like to feel the tits and squeeze them and very possibly lie down with you on top of him while he just sucks on your nipples for an hour straight and—

The nipple kink is real ok. Which probably leads to that lactation kink he doesn’t want us talking about

But we know damn well that he’s got one

Basically yes: once he realizes how fucking nice your tits feel in his hands, or how ridiculously hot it is to suck and bite them.... he has trouble NOT doing it

You’re gonna notice when he just... gets carried away. Like oh yes, his strong fingers pinching your nipples is getting you nice and hot and ready. Maybe he’ll go between your legs now and pleasure you there—

Nope. He’s still on your chest, pinching and sucking and licking and he doesn’t even notice because of how focused he is. You’re just like 😬 alright then

He bites a little too hard sometimes. He doesn’t know his own strength

So maybe you tell him “Tobirama, calm down a little...”

And that’s when he realizes and he’s like 😳 Uh, I... I um—

Ok but backtrack, what would probably start this lactation kink: if you are pregnant, or you’ve just had his kid, and say you’re... really full of milk rn and your baby isn’t hungry. So now you’ve just got these juicy tits and oh no ): no one to help. You need some relief :/

Tobirama will... reluctantly volunteer with that -.- look on his face because... this is weird. Why is he doing this? Ugh. It’s ridiculous—

Oh but it’s kinda hot... just sucking your tits and hearing your little moans/sighs of relief while he does it... why is his dick getting hard?

He’s mortified when he’s basically sucked you dry but wow... he doesn’t know why that was so erotic but it was and oh no... he’s feeling some type of way about it now and oh shit... now it’s a KINK

Again, DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. He’s VERY EMBARRASSED  

Kakashi

⤰⤰⤰

As has been stated: this man has a weird foot fetish, but it only extends to you giving him a footjob with your socks still on lmao

Something about the scratchy material of your socks rubbing his dick is just crazy hot to him

He’ll never admit that to you though... at least sober

So it’s something you two try when he’s drunk and accidentally blurts it out; he sort of warms you up to the idea of it and... how can you resist? His dick is HARD in his pants and it keeps getting bigger the longer he talks about how nice it would be if you “did a little something... with your.... feet”

So you oblige, but when you’re starting to take your socks off he grabs your ankles clumsily like NO—I mean uh... no haha ... keep them on, maybe? (: 

He’s gonna die of embarrassment when you tell him about this tomorrow (if you do)

You can’t lie though. It’s sooooo hot hearing how much he moans and groans for you when your socked-up feet are rubbing his dick 

He grabs your ankles to slow you down/make you speed up depending on what he wants

And just squeezes your feet around his dick when he’s cumming 

Oh—he also has a very very small almost infinitesimal... humiliation kink

Like... if you wanna call him a naughty, disgusting, shameful pervert in bed he might be like :/ damn why you on my ass like this 

But inside he’s like.... ugh yes degrade me. I know I’m a perv. Tell me again. I need to hear it... it... kinda made my dick jump

If you’re riding his dick really good and start humiliating him right when he’s about to cum, he may honest to god agree with you like, “Yes fuck! I’m—shit, yeah I’m a disgusting pervert–fuuuuuck—”

[drowningindango]

ok but consider this - Obito exhasperatedly adopting Madara and Izuna (somehow, idk, he's the one who used to be Mizukage) as younger bros to prevent Madara going cuckoo and Izuna dying to atone to whatever the fuck he will do in the future. because Madara absolutely had middle kid energy in the childhood

(Anon, I‘m running low on battery and have poor reading comprehension rn, so bear with me as I try to piece together whether this ask is in reference to my Itama post or the time travel fic or if you just find me neat enough to talk about random ideas, which would be nice)

I gotta say, I totally vibe with you on Madara having middle kid energy. I personally love to give him at least one big sis/bro in AUs where his siblings live

This sounds like a fun idea, especially since it makes Obito the big brother if I read this correctly lmao. Just imagine him having to herd these two little devils. If he doesn’t already have white hair in that hypothetical scenario, he will definitely go grey early.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Honestly the obito reveal is hilarious. I remember reading through a naruto forum, before the reveal, and they were all debating who could it be (Madara, some other powerful dead guy i don’t remember, etc). Someone piped in “I bet it’s Obito” and they were all laughing at that and some others were like “hey be nice there’re some kids on this site”. I wonder how they felt when it was finally revealed lmao

Oh gosh the people who laughed at the thought of it being Obito must have felt silly. Honestly, it was a really well done reveal because it explained how Obito survived and exactly why he chose the path he did

And i just can’t imagin any other reveal having the sane weight

Madara was pretty obvious. At this point we already knew he was feared and rather hated so we had an idea that he had done some horrible things.

But Obito to us was just some sweet kid who died saving Kakashi. Who gave Kakashi back his belief in friendship and protecting those friends, only to turn around and become the dude who would try to put the entire world into a permanent dream. A ‘perfect world’

I have a lot of complaints about Kishi’s writing, but obito’s reveal was not one of them

[pain-somnia]

ssm 2k20 day 1: stuck with you Title: us and these walls Rating: M (for sexual content) Disclaimer Day’s Notes: this prompt was selected by my patrons on Patreon and I decided to make it a modern au...a quarantine au lmao so here’s a smutty quarantine au for y’all I hope it’s enjoyable. As a heads up SasoObi is mentioned often throughout the fic and it’s a minor pairing...well it’s Sasori/Obito/Third Kazekage but they’re background. I mostly put them in there for Kitty who made me fall in love with SasoObi lol this is super late but I hadn’t planned on any of my entries to be long and I failed ‘cause this is long. This fic was almost longer than it is.

us and these walls

It started with a couple of White Claws. And it ended with Sakura in the wrong bed and severely under dressed.

Sakura woke up with a start, giving an unattractive snort before clutching her aching head. The throbbing around her eyes delayed her in realizing that there was an arm slung around her waist and something hard poking at her ass.

No, Sakura grumbled inwardly. No no no no.

She already knew exactly who was in bed with her. There was only one person that she had been stuck with for the past two weeks in her cousin Sasori’s house.

Obito, Sasori’s husband, had a younger cousin that she was always grouped up with at family events because he was the closest to her age, only being eight months older than her. Other than sitting next to each other at brunch or at holiday meals, the both of them didn’t really talk much to each other. Not that Sakura didn’t want to.

Sasuke Uchiha just made it so difficult to get to know him as anything other than Obito’s ridiculously hot cousin.

Two weeks ago, Sasori had asked Obito to call Sasuke over to fix the sink in the kitchen. Sakura wasn’t sure what it was exactly that Sasuke did for a living, only that he had remodeled parts of the house before Sakura moved into her cousin’s house and he may or may not have also been the bartender in the blurry photos Ino had sent her one night many weeks ago.

Because Sasori was the way he was, Obito had called Sasuke at eleven at night and for some reason the man had responded and was awake at the time. Instead of letting him go home, Obito begged Sasuke to stay the night in the guest room.

And then the quarantine order was issued.

Somehow, Obito was able to convince Mikoto Uchiha that it was best for Sasuke to remain at his house for the quarantine. Somehow it had worked and of course Sasuke had no choice but to listen to his mother. And somehow the two of them ended up stuck living together alone because Sasori had packed his and Obito’s bags and took off.

Whoever the fuck the man that went by the moniker “Third” was, Sakura had to assume he was loaded. The morning of the second day of quarantine all she had was a note left by her cousin about where he and his husband went off to and three days later there was a post to his Instagram about how he and Obito were living it up by the pool at their boyfriend’s mansion.

It was no wonder Sasori had ditched her. She wasn’t that surprised he had. Sakura felt more betrayed by Obito.

Warm breath fanned against her temple and the arm slung around her waist pulled her in closer. Sakura adjusted herself so Sasuke’s cock nestled between her thighs instead of digging into her behind and Sasuke released a content sigh, curling around her more.

God.

This wasn’t like her. She didn’t have casual sex. Sakura had been suffering from a three year dry spell ever since she had ended her last relationship. Sakura wasn’t the kind to go out and find someone just for the sake of hooking up. She could almost hear Ino and Karin chanting in her head, “One of us. One of us. One of us.”

“Anything we need to do today?” Sasuke mumbled into her hair. Sakura tensed up. She hadn’t noticed that he had been awake.

“We already went shopping yesterday for groceries and the essentials.”

She and Sasuke tried to stock up on everything they needed the day before. They had almost ended up going home with nothing when a middle aged man without a mask on got too close and Sasuke opened up a disinfectant spray they were going to buy and sprayed him in the face.

They had also stopped at the liquor store because nothing said essential like alcohol.

Which is exactly how they ended up in their current predicament.

Sakura wasn’t sure how to take Sasuke’s behavior. He didn’t seem to mind that they had woken up naked and spooning and was even nuzzling her hair. She wasn’t opposed to the bit of affection but she would have preferred it happened when she wasn’t feeling nauseous and had a headache.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Sakura mumbled, disentangling herself from Sasuke’s hold and rushing to the hallway bathroom.

She was dry heaving and spitting up bile for all of a few seconds when she felt Sasuke’s presence next to her on the floor. He stroked her hair, pulling it back away from her face until her heaving stopped.

“Thanks for putting pants back on.”

“Yeah. Here.” Sasuke handed her a black shirt that must have been the one he had been wearing the night before. Sakura pulled it over her head and tugged it so it covered her until midway down her thighs.

Sakura was grateful that Sasuke had the mind not to turn the light on in the bathroom; the open bathroom door casted a strip of light from the hallway.

“So…” She opened the conversation, not entirely sure what it was that she was trying to say. She blanked out, not having an actual thought beyond her ass being cold from the tile floor and so she shifted so she was sitting on the fluffy bathroom mat.

“Do we, uh, need to get anything?”

Sakura scrunched up her nose in confusion. She was too hungover for conversation. Sasuke looked at her pointedly, raising a brow and it finally dawned on Sakura what he was getting at.

“Oh, no. No. I’m on the pill.” Sakura averted her gaze, chewing on her lower lip in discomfort. “And I’m clean.”

“Same.”

The both of them sat on the bathroom floor in silence for an awkward amount of time before Sasuke cleared his throat and said he needed to make a call.

Well, this is shit, Sakura groaned inwardly, pulling her knees to her chest and running her hands down her face.

.

.

Sakura kept herself busy with preparing orders for her online store. She was fortunate enough to be self-employed but there was going to be a delay with her orders because the mailman kept missing her scheduled pickups.

“Do you think Sasori would kill me for this?” Sasuke asked her, putting down his drill.

Sakura looked up from her sewing machine and up at the racks Sasuke had made for her bolts of fabric. He wasn’t able to go to any of his jobs and ended up using his free time on small projects in the house. Sasuke had helped her organize everything by creating a proper work studio in the spare room that was originally Obito’s exercise room. Sasuke had moved all of the equipment into the garage.

“Oh, definitely.” Sakura went back to stitching the pair of tulle panties with an embroidered butterfly motif. “But you put a nifty set of cubbies in his mud room.”

Sasuke moved around her to measure for a set of shelves she had wanted.

“You’re making panties?” He raised a brow at Sakura’s current project.

“Yeah they’re a parallel set to that dress.” She pointed at a mannequin with a tulle sundress with the same butterfly motif. “My shop’s name is Naughty & Nice. That’s the nice and this,” she lifted the finished pair of panties, “is the naughty.”

“Those are too cute to be naughty,” Sasuke scoffed.

“Well I also have those.” Sakura pointed to a different mannequin dressed in a custom leather harness.

“Huh.”

“Yup.”

That was how the past two weeks had gone. Sakura would work and Sasuke would exercise or keep busy making improvements to Sasori’s house. Sometimes Sakura would find him playing video games, speaking to his friends over his headset.

Sasuke had to break his lease with his landlord. It was the loudest Sakura had heard him as he argued with the man about granting him an extension to pay his rent the following month. It hadn’t sounded good and the man couldn’t be reasoned with.

Unfortunately for Sasuke, his parents thought it would be better if he continued to stay at his cousin’s house. Due to the kind of jobs his parents had—police captain and nurse—they thought it would be safer for Sasuke to stick to the house where the only other occupant didn’t leave unless she absolutely needed to.

Sasuke had placed a majority of his belongings in storage and brought over his cat and anything he thought he would need and the guest bedroom became his.

At some point Sakura became curious about his finances. He had no job that she knew of that he could do from home, but he still had money for all of the takeout that he had been ordering until Sakura had put an end to it and told him that she would cook enough for the both of them as long as he helped provide the groceries. She was used to cooking for three anyway and Sasuke ate enough to make up for Sasori and Obito.

They were the only two occupants of the house and had to work around each other. It forced them to communicate beyond the uncomfortable small talk they were accustomed to.

Sakura found it easier to carry discussions without the presence of their family members, especially that of Mikoto Uchiha who always gave her soft yet sly smiles whenever she stood or sat closely to Sasuke. It was a calculative expression she was used to seeing on her older cousin whenever he wanted something and knew he was going to get it.

As much as she wouldn’t have minded to get to know Sasuke better, Sakura was sure that whatever his mother wanted to happen wasn’t what Sasuke wanted. They had worked well together and cohabitated amicably, but the closest they got to anything beyond that was a drunken tryst that she wasn’t even sure was going to be repeated sober.

.

.

He fucked up. He had fucked up.

It started with simple boredom. Sasuke had been stuck living with his cousin’s husband’s pretty cousin because Sasori couldn’t be bothered staying in his own house during a quarantine and had blackmailed Sasuke into playing babysitter.

They had been watching a marathon of slasher films and decided on turning it into a drinking game. Sakura curled up on the small extension of the L shaped couch with her pack of White Claws and Sasuke laid out on the other end with a pack of Ithacas. Somehow that had ended up with Sasuke joining Sakura on the extension and his fingers curled inside of her panties, stroking her as she clutched onto his arm and released high pitched cries of joy.

He’s not sure how they got to a bed, but he wouldn’t doubt it if he had just thrown her tiny body over his shoulder and carried her to the guest room that had become his temporary room.

That wasn’t how Sasuke had planned on dealing with Sakura and his ridiculous crush on her that wouldn’t go away.

It hadn’t taken much convincing for him to come fix the kitchen sink in the middle of the night. Besides Sasori blackmailing him because of his OnlyFans account, Obito had sweetened the deal by mentioning that if he stayed over he would be fed a free breakfast. Obito was a mediocre cook but free was free and he would be able to spend some time in Sakura’s company without his mother hovering with her knowing smiles.

He hadn’t expected to wake up to the smell of something cooking and walking into the kitchen to find Sakura wearing nothing but a baggy cream colored button down cable knit cardigan that hit mid thigh and a pair of black thigh high socks.

Sakura hadn’t expected him either. She had thought she was home alone because of a note from Sasori explaining that he and Obito had taken off to their boyfriend’s place. Sakura had called Sasori immediately for answers, but he didn’t pick up his phone.

At least, that’s what her flushed face and drawn down brows made it seem like. He hadn’t been paying attention to the phone calls she was trying to make but to the curve of her pert breasts that peeked from the v-cut of her cardigan. Sakura hadn’t been wearing a bra and he just wanted to drag his tongue up her sternum.

He was distracted from those dangerous thoughts when he received a phone call from his mother about the quarantine orders and how Obito had already told her that Sasuke was staying at his house. Sasuke didn’t have much room for an argument, especially considering his landlord Kakuzu wouldn’t give him an extension for his rent and Sasuke had had enough and broke his lease.

He cursed Kiba for moving out to live with the blondie he had been dating for the past few months and had only made it official a month ago. Kiba had been mostly staying over there and using Sasuke’s and his place for storage so it had made sense for him to officially move in but that had left Sasuke with paying the full rent on his own because he refused to move.

That decision was biting him in the ass now that he couldn’t bartend or go do some jobs as a contractor. He was heavily relying on his not safe for work accounts where he posted nudes for pay.

And speaking of not being safe for work…

It was three days after the drunken bedroom incident and Sakura needed help taking photographs for her online shop.

When Sakura had told him what she did for work he had been impressed that she had owned her own business and at how talented she was. When she told him that usually Sasori modeled her prototypes and she took the photos for her site, he was slightly disturbed. Looking at Sakura wearing her dresses and her lingerie, he couldn’t imagine Sasori wearing the same things and it looking as well as it did on her.

There may be some bias though. He was actually attracted to Sakura and he and Sasori were more enemies than they were friends and unfortunately related because Sasori was married to Obito.

“Move your arm back like this,” Sasuke instructed Sakura as she posed in a tulle panty and bra set that left nothing to the imagination. The butterfly patterns tastefully covered her nipples but didn’t do much to completely hide the small, pink thatch of hair between her thighs.

He was supposed to be focusing on showing off the lingerie to advantage, but his eyes kept drifting to the small bruises scattered on Sakura’s inner thighs and the red blooms of kiss marks that made her body look well loved.

“I can edit those out,” Sakura remarked shyly when she noticed where his gaze was directed. “I do it for Sasori for my site. He prefers keeping them though for his personal collection of photos.”

“I didn’t need to know that about Sasori.”

Sakura laughed at his discomfort and took her camera back from him. “Thanks again for the help.”

“Any time,” Sasuke muttered, watching her walk through the living room and down the hall to her bedroom.

.

.

Sasuke had the terrible━wonderful━habit of going without a shirt and exposing his tattoos when he was stuck inside all day.

It had been barely five days since their drunken mistake and the hickeys all over her body and bruises on her inner thighs and hips from the rough pounding she must have taken had yet to completely heal. Which also meant that the scratch marks on Sasuke’s shoulder blades, the hickeys all over his neck, and the bite mark on his left shoulder were still visible as well.

They hadn’t discussed what had happened. They spent the first day in an awkward state of avoidance and kept to their respective areas in the house. The second day had them going back to normal and just silently agreeing not to mention it.

But the curiosity was there now. It was there when they shared meals. It was there when he walked in from the garage after working out. It was there when he lazily strummed his guitar aimlessly. It was there when she finished her yoga routine and he was waiting to use the living room to watch or play Call of Duty.

It was there when they sat around reading in the living room and drinking tea. It was there when he made sure she took proper breaks instead of keeping herself hunched over her sewing and embroidery machines. It was there when she randomly heard his drill or hammer or the dragging of planks of wood and other materials into the house when he found something to fix or improve.

The curiosity became a yearning when she found him laid out on the couch, watching some aquarium building show. Sasuke just looked so cozy and she just wanted to curl up with him. Or straddle him.

Straddling him was definitely a favorable option.

Sasuke was immediately on alert, body stiffening under Sakura as she settled herself over him, straddling his hips. His hands slid across the sides of her bare thighs and over her small cotton shorts, until he gripped her hips through her thick oversized pullover.

He watched her warily as she pressed her hands on his stomach. His abdominal muscles twitched under her fingers as she slid her hands up his stomach.

“I was thinking…” Sakura’s cheeks heated up as Sasuke’s hands slid under her sweater and he took hold of her waist, his thumbs massaging circles on her skin. “Do you want to try it sober?”

Sasuke sat up faster than Sakura had expected him to move. In lieu of an answer to her question, he gripped the back of her neck, fisting her hair still damp from her shower, and pulled her closer to slant his mouth over hers.

There had been heated stares and what Sakura had hoped were looks of longing. Here was proof that she had been right.

Sakura sighed contently as Sasuke palmed her breasts, squeezing and fondling her with his large hands. Pulling back for air, Sasuke laid his forehead on hers, looking her directly in the eye as he continued to massage her flesh and tug at her nipples and roll them under his thumbs.

“You sure about this?”

“Absolutely.” Sakura cradled the back of his neck with both of her hands and pulled his mouth back to hers. Using her hold as an anchor, she fell back slowly, guiding Sasuke to follow her and nestle in the cradle of her thighs.

Sasuke pulled back, giving Sakura room to remove her sweater. It had barely been tossed aside when he returned to her, pressing kisses to her stomach and trailing his mouth up to her breasts, sucking on the underside of them before rolling her nipples with his tongue.

While Sasuke laved at her nipples and sucked on the flesh of her pert breasts, he worked on sliding her shorts off. When he didn’t find anything under them except for skin he looked up at her, head cocked quizzically.

“I planned to be out of them so why bother putting on undergarments?”

“Next time,” Sasuke pressed a kiss to her knee and then the other, “let me take them off.”

“Next time,” Sakura’s breath hitched as he gave her clit a flick of his tongue, “huh?”

The look Sasuke gave her was all heat as he sucked one of her nether lips into his mouth before working her with his tongue. Sakura sank her fingers into his thick, black hair and wondered if he had done this for her the other night. If he had it was a shame she couldn’t recall it or had a heads up to just how wonderful Sasuke’s tongue was. Her fingers tightened their hold on his hair, keeping him in place as her thighs trembled around his head. She cried out, high and sharp, when Sasuke pressed deeper into her, his tongue working harder as he alternated between strokes and suckling on her hardened little nub as if it was his reason for existing.

Sakura’s ankles locked behind Sasuke’s shoulders as her hips grinded against his mouth to chase the wave of her orgasm. With a keening cry she collapsed back onto the couch, her chest heaving from exertion. As she tried to control her breathing, Sasuke made his way back up her body, pressing kisses and nips to every bit of skin he could. Humming with satisfaction, she cupped his face in her hands and pulled him back up so she could kiss him hard, tasting herself as she rolled her tongue against his.

“Take off your pants,” Sakura panted, sliding her hands down to the waistband of Sasuke’s sweatpants.

Sasuke shook his head and licked up her sternum with one sure lick, pressing his tongue hard between her breasts. “Turn around.”

His voice was a low rumble, vibrating against her breastbone, and causing a shiver to run down her spine. He used a hand to guide her to turning around until she was stomach down on the couch. With her back exposed to him, Sasuke pressed open mouth kisses down her spine. She flinched when he reached the center of her back, the spot surprisingly sensitive. He palmed her ass with both hands, massaging the cheeks before biting down on a fleshy area.

“Hey!” Sakura squealed at the sensation. He chuckled against her, sliding a hand between her thighs to where she was softest.

“I think you liked that.” He stroked her with his fingers, spreading her folds and dipping his middle and ring fingers inside of her. “I know you liked that.”

“Hmm, maybe I did.” Sakura pressed her cheek to the couch cushion and lifted her rump higher in the air and rocked her hips from side to side teasingly.

Sasuke sat up on his knees and grabbed her by the hips, pulling her closer to him. He pressed his hips against her and rocked back and forth, his clothed, hardened length digging against her core. Sakura moaned softly against the couch cushion as Sasuke grinded against her in alternating rhythms.

“Just put it in already,” Sakura pleaded.

“Fuck,” Sasuke hissed as she rocked back against him. “Do you want me to go get a condom? I think Obito has some in the master bedroom.”

“Don’t bother,” Sakura panted. “Don’t make me wait.”

“Alright.”

Sasuke stood up and pulled his sweatpants and boxers off. He helped her turn back around and settled himself between her legs. Bracing himself on one forearm, Sasuke licked his fingers and rubbed the tip of his cock before taking himself in hand and gave himself four quick pumps before guiding himself inside of her wet heat.

Sakura moaned at the fullness as he stretched her pleasantly. She cupped his face in her hands once again and kissed him wherever she could reach with her mouth—his chin, the corner of his mouth, his upper lip. She hadn’t realized how empty and aching she was feeling until this moment.

“You good?” Sasuke asked, keeping still but adjusting her legs around his hips for her comfort.

Sakura nodded, wrapping her arms under his armpits and clutched his shoulders. She tilted her hips up and rolled them until he began to thrust.

She didn’t know if this was how they did it the other night, but she was enjoying it. Sakura expected him to grope at her breasts and her ass as he pounded into her, but Sasuke kept to a steady pace and with his forearms caging her head, he wrapped her hair around his fingers and kissed her languidly. It was so warm and affectionate she almost forgot that it started as her just wanting a fuck on the couch to figure out if it was as good as she had thought it would be and to make up for being robbed of the experience by her inebriation.

“Harder,” Sakura demanded and without missing a beat Sasuke gave her exactly what she asked for.

He sat up on his knees and lifted her legs straight up so that her ankles crossed behind his head and he thrust harder, holding onto her knees to keep her in place. One of his legs slipped onto the ground so that he could brace himself with his foot and make sure they didn’t fall off the couch.

“You feel so good,” he praised her, kissing her left inner ankle.

“Yeah?” Sakura smiled mischievously up at him and squeezed the muscles of her core, causing Sasuke to falter in his movements. She giggled at his expense but choked on air when he readjusted his footing and thrust particularly hard into her.

Sasuke pushed her knees up into her chest and held her there as he set a punishing pace, hitting her repeatedly in a spot she liked. Her staccato cries of joy filled the room, drowning out the sound of the television.

She fell apart again and Sasuke slowed down his thrusting in favor of feeling her flutter around him and kissing her lazily. They lay like that, him still inside of her, and they exchanged kisses.

“Your turn,” Sakura murmured against his mouth as he stroked her side, brushing her ribs with his knuckles.

“Flip over,” Sasuke ordered, voice low and causing her stomach to clench in anticipation. Settling behind her, Sasuke chased his finish, his chest pressed to her back and panting in her ear.

They both collapsed on the couch and Sasuke turned on his side so that he could pull Sakura against him. They lay in a boneless sort of manner and sated, intertwining their legs and their bodies slick with sweat.

After a moment of silence, Sakura spoke up.

“Well that was definitely better sober.”

Sasuke snorted, his silent laughter rumbling in his chest and vibrating against Sakura’s back.

.

.

He was supposed to be getting some water. Somehow a trip for water turned into him making out with Sakura. She was seated on the kitchen island and he stood between her legs, one hand pressed to the small of her back and the other cradling her face.

“I’m supposed to be making dinner,” she whined but made no move to pull away. She gasped when Sasuke slid his hand between her thighs.

“We can order pizza.”

.

.

She couldn’t remember what her question was. Not with the way Sasuke moved underneath her, breaking her rhythm and holding her hips down to meet his every thrust. He had her crying out and collapsing onto him, weak to his relentless pounding.

Sakura panted, struggling to catch her breath after they both came, as Sasuke rubbed her back soothingly.

“Yeah, I’ll change the bulb in the hallway closet.”

That was the question? Sakura frowned against Sasuke’s clavicle. Well, alright then.

.

.

“Shut up!”

Sakura hid her face in her hands, trapping the heat radiating off of it with her palms.

“Tell us everything,” Ino insisted. Karin nodded vigorously in agreement from her window on Sakura’s monitor.

The three of them were using Zoom to video chat and it was supposed to be wine and movie night, but it had instead turned into a gossip session now that Sakura admitted to them that her three year dry spell had ended during the quarantine.

“We keep fucking,” Sakura whined, pulling her knees up to her chest and falling sideways on her bed. “He’s like the fucking energizer bunny: just keeps going and going.”

Karin snorted, earning herself a glare from Sakura. “How is that a bad thing?”

“It’s not.” Sakura chewed on her lower lip. “We hang out and do other stuff too.”

“Like what?” Ino asked, blowing on her nails. She had taken out her nail polish and had given herself a pedicure as she waited for Karin to pick their movie and their change in plans hadn’t stopped her from continuing.

“We watch movies and take care of Obito’s garden and his plants. I’m teaching him how to cook.” Sakura sighed and groaned softly under her breath, “We take naps together and just...cuddle.”

Besides sex being added to the list of their activities, the only change to their cohabitation was that sometimes they curled up in Sasuke’s bed just to sleep together or hold each other as they lay in the comfort of the blankets. It sometimes led to sex, but that wasn’t the goal. They simply liked being together and exchanging kisses between the sheets and listening to music.

It was sometimes more enjoyable than when he was making her come like a train. Sometimes. Alright, always. Coming was nice but she had a drawer of toys for that. She couldn’t cuddle and joke with her vibrator.

“Now that you’re boning him,” Karin smirked at her, “do you think you can introduce me to his older brother?”

The three of them burst into laughter, Sakura burying her face into her pillow to drown out the sound.

.

.

When Sasuke had remodeled Sasori’s master bathroom, he had found a bath to install that would fit his cousin’s tall frame perfectly inside. It was for that reason he knew he and Sakura could both fit comfortably, considering he and Obito were the same height.

“This is nice,” Sakura sighed, settling between his legs and resting her back against his chest. “I thought Sasori had locked his bedroom before leaving to Third’s.”

Sasori had in fact locked his bedroom, but Sasuke had picked the lock so that he could use the master bedroom for the setting of his photos for his OnlyFans. Sasuke had money to make and he needed privacy and also didn’t want to get into Sakura’s way while she worked and took care of the house.

Things had been good so far between the two of them. They hadn’t discussed what they were doing, but Sasuke was enjoying being trapped in the house with Sakura. Her affection for him even traveled outside the walls of Sasori’s house. She would hold his hands as they walked down aisles when they went shopping for things they couldn’t order or when they went for walks around the neighborhood.

Now they were taking a bath together. Sasuke had used the large bathtub for some photos, carefully placing bubbles to cover his penis, but then making them dissipate with a flap of his hand to take uncensored shots for his Patreon tiers that involved full nudity.

It was as the water cooled and the bubbles became flat that he thought about Sakura and if she would want to relax with him.

When he suggested a bath to Sakura, her eyes lit up and she found all of the candles in the house, played some soft music, and prepared the bath with scented oils and bubbles.

“This has got to be a fire hazard.” Sasuke gestured around the room at all of the candles. Their flames reflected against the tiles of the bathroom, creating a nice ambience.

“Shhhh.” Sakura kissed the inside of his wrist, and snuggled into him more. “Don’t be a killjoy.”

Sasuke leaned back and closed his eyes. This would probably be a little better if I were high, he sighed inwardly. He should have rolled a joint before they got into the bath.

“Would this be considered a date?” Sakura asked, breaking the comfortable silence between them.

“Some people would consider it a date. I would rather be clothed during most of a date.”

“I don’t mind,” Sakura chirped. “You’re exactly how I would want you to end up anyway.”

Heat that had nothing to do with the bath traveled up the back of Sasuke’s neck and settled in his ears.

“If the world wasn’t so fucked up right now, where would you wanna go?”

“Hmm…” Sakura hummed one thought, her knees swaying from side to side. “For a walk in Old Town to get some ice cream. Maybe check out the hibachi spot and then watch the boats on the river.”

“I don’t even like ice cream and that sounds good. Just to be outside.”

Two months had passed since the quarantine had begun and Sasuke was beginning to feel restless. He didn’t usually care about going out, only really went out for work, but now that he was forced to stay inside all day, every day, he just wanted to go out and do something.

After the quarantine was over, he and Sakura were going to need to take a road trip just to feel normal again.

“My friend Karin got tested and her results were negative so she’s going to come over and give me a haircut.” Sakura tugged at the ends of her long hair. “I procrastinated getting one and then everything was shut down.”

Sasuke huffed air out of his mouth and blew at his bangs. They had grown long enough to fall to his chin. “You think she’d mind giving me a haircut too?”

.

.

Sakura couldn’t stop giggling. She rubbed the back of Sasuke’s head, right at the nape where Karin had shaved his hair so it was a close crop. She had buzzed him into an undercut before Sakura and Sasuke could say anything about it.

“I just needed a trim.” Sasuke scowled. Karin had done a really good job and the hairstyle looked great on him, but Sasuke had only wanted to take care of his unruly bangs. “If I put my glasses on, I’ll look like a wannabe Skrillex.”

Sakura snorted, curling up in his lap. “His undercut is on the side like Karin’s. Yours is on the back.”

“Whatever. Don’t you dare give her my brother’s phone number.” Sasuke ran his fingers through Sakura’s new bob cut and kissed her forehead. “Anything you wanna do before bedtime?”

For the past few weeks they had tried to make sure they were preoccupied so that they wouldn’t get bored. Sakura was still attempting to teach him to cook but she has better results teaching him yoga.

“We could have a Lord of the Rings marathon?” Sakura wrinkled her nose in thought. “I can work on some crochet crop tops while we watch.”

They had settled into a comfortable, domestic routine. Sakura was enjoying living with Sasuke and didn’t care about Sasori and Obito having ditched her. She was kind of glad they did. She was especially glad for it the week before when Sasuke made her ginger and honey tea and always had a hot water bottle ready for her when the cramps got really bad. Sasori had the weird idea to feed her liver whenever she was on her period. He never cooked it, always handing it to her raw.

It was nice living with Sasuke. Sakura wasn’t looking forward to when Sasori and Obito returned and ruined the tranquility they had.

She prayed things wouldn’t change when they were around other people. That they wouldn’t go back to how they used to be when they sat awkwardly next to each other at holidays.

.

.

Usually a morning person, Sakura was always first to wake up out of the both of them.

She woke to the feeling of him pressed against her back, erection settling against her ass and warm breath puffing against her nape. His arm wrapped around her body and held to her chest as her fingers were laced with his.

“Sasuke.” Sakura attempted to separate their limbs. “Sasuke. We fell asleep on the couch again.”

Sasori’s couch was ridiculously comfortable and with the wide extension sticking out to make its L shape, Sakura found herself falling asleep on it often. During the quarantine she always lay there when watching TV or movies which was pretty typical from pre-quarantine life, but now instead of selfishly taking up the best spot, she was sharing it with Sasuke who was surprisingly cuddly.

“Sasuke,” Sakura whined. The more she tried to pull away, the more he clung to her. She disentangled their legs and he bit down softly on the back of her neck. “I have morning breath and, dude, I definitely need a shower…”

“Like I care.”

Sasuke was talented at distracting her. One moment she wanted to get ready for the day and in the next all she wanted was to roll around in bed all day. Sakura made no protest when Sasuke helped her remove one of the shirts she kept stealing from him and pulled off her sweatpants and tugged her panties off. Thanks to Sasuke, she was spending an incredible amount of time naked on Sasori’s couch.

“I was supposed to,” Sakura’s breath hitched when Sasuke bit the inside of her left thigh, “be making breakfast.”

“This is preferable,” he murmured against her folds, burying his face between her legs.

During the weeks of their cohabitation, Sakura had discovered that Sasuke liked going down on her more than he enjoyed when she returned the favor. He apparently liked to take advantage of the fact that she could have more than one orgasm in a single round of sex and even though getting blown was nice, he didn’t like the recovery time or how sensitive he became afterward.

Sasuke was in the middle of getting her to the first orgasm he wanted to give her when the front door opened. Not that Sasuke or Sakura had noticed.

“Oh my God,” Sakura sighed breathily, sinking her fingers into Sasuke’s hair.

“Oh my God!” Obito cried out, snapping Sakura out of her pleasure induced daze.

“My couch!” Sasori hissed, eyes narrowed in distaste.

Sakura sat up, almost kicking Sasuke in the face, and saw both her cousin and his husband and a giant man almost half a foot taller than Obito on the other side of the couch.

“Oh my God,” Sakura moaned softly in horror, grabbing the throw she kept on the couch and wrapping it around her body. Sasuke straightened himself and took a seat next to her, bare as the day he was born, cock hard and hair mussed, with a shiny smear on his chin from the activity that had just been interrupted.

“Holy shit, Shisui was right.” Obito stared in awe at Sasuke’s crotch, only snapping his attention away when Sasori slapped his arm and shot him a look of disgust. “What? I thought he was exaggerating how big it was. Oh, fuck. I owe him one-fifty now.”

Sasori rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen, calling out behind him, “Please tell me you mean a dollar and change.”

Obito rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “No. Hundred fifty.”

“Hello.” The giant man waved at Sasuke and Sakura, flashing them what in a normal situation would have been a charming smile if it weren’t for the severe lack of clothing and what he had walked in on. “I’m Third, It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand. He put it down as soon as he realized they weren’t going to shake his hand. “We came over because Obito has been raving about your cinnamon chip scones and Sasori said that you could teach me to make them for him.”

“You could have called first,” Sasuke drawled, bending over at the waist to reach for his sweatpants and boxer briefs.

“You could have not been fucking on my couch!” Sasori’s voice carried in from the kitchen, followed by the slamming of cupboard doors.

Sakura rolled her eyes and stood up, careful to keep the throw wrapped around her body. Leave it to her to be caught by her cousin, his husband, and their boyfriend getting eaten out in the early morning in the middle of the living room.

“Come back in one hour and I’ll teach you how to bake anything you want,” She told Third, craning her neck to be able to look him directly in the eye. “But you gotta take them with you.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

Much faster than she expected someone of such great bulk to move, Third was escorting Sasori and Obito━who had already found her homemade yogurt and was eating it━out of the house.

“Are you really going to be teaching their boyfriend to bake?” Sasuke asked, yanking his pants up and following her as she walked to her bedroom. Sakura snorted and shook her head.

“I can teach him over FaceTime. We’re changing the fucking locks.”

.

.

Day’s Notes: There’s a high chance I may revisit this AU because I used some AU ideas of mine and mashed them up to make this fic and I’m very attached to my OnlyFans Sasuke AU. I have so much to write for it.

[pfreadsandwrites]

POSSIBLY RANDOM QUESTION BUT- what are your thoughts on Kakashi/Rin? Not trying to imply ship-hate or anything (who’s got time to be anti-anything?!), but personally I feel like even if Rin had lived, they wouldn’t have gotten together. I can’t really see Kakashi loving her in a romantic sense; it feels to me like he cared for her mostly for Obito’s sake, as a way to honor his dead friend.

I could be dead wrong and I figured I could ask you your thoughts re: their dynamic, since you write Kakashi so well. :3

Ahaha I remember writing a long thing years ago (way before the Obito reveal in the manga) about why I didn’t like Kakashi/Rin but now I so don’t have the energy for hating on ships lmao. I still haven’t changed in that there’s hardly any I like though. 

But basically I agree with you. I think his main thing with Rin is that he’s very aware that he was the one that refused to help her first, and he’s never going to stop feeling guilt over that, and that led to all the shit that went down. He would never feel like he was good enough for her to ever let himself be with her, even if he had any romantic feelings for her. And there’s really nothing in the series that implies he did, so I think yes, his concern for Rin is definitely doubly important to him because of Obito. He probably would have wanted to protect her after all that went down anyway but certainly he wanted to protect her and do right by her for Obito’s sake. He basically shut down her confession by reminding her that Obito loved her. (Side note, I never liked how she confessed to him whilst Obito wasn’t even finished dying... And I didn’t like the way she chose to die either. Like... wanting to die by the guy you love’s hand... no matter how horrible it would be for him? But maybe I’m being harsh on her, i do remember it being stated that she wasn’t able to kill herself with her own power or something... but still, I don’t think i would be okay with traumatising someone i claim to love like that)

But then again, if everything had worked out well for Kakashi, Obito and Rin I don’t know what would have happened. Girls in this show tend to end up with the boy they like even if they don’t really have much chemistry or moments together lmao, but Kakashi would be a completely different character anyway. But Obito’s love for Rin is SO strong and intense that that might be a case that she might have ended up falling for him anyway. 

I think people ship Kakashi/Rin cuz it’d be a more positive/more wholesome SasuSaku-ISH situation and plus we all want Kakashi to be happy. Kakashi grows up well albeit with his issues for the most part, and Rin seemed nice and skilled and loyal enough... But as for their dynamic had she survived... 

They would be bonded to one another because of Obito, and that would have definitely brought them close in a way. Kind of like how Naruto and Sakura really bond over Sasuke, but in a much more deep and mournful way than that, and maybe more meaningful since he died. But i honestly can’t see him allowing himself to be with her romantically.  I think even if it came to light that Kakashi had romantic feelings for Rin, Obito really is such a huge... cloud? Or weight? on Kakashi’s character that he’s basically not living for himself at all, but for Obito’s will. So i don’t think he’d ever let himself be with her, even if that’s what he wanted deep down. He doesn’t seem to allow himself to be with anyone romantically, and so if it were Rin I don’t see it happening because it’d feel like such a betrayal to Obito. Also, he genuinely doesn’t feel like he deserves her. He says as much during the gaiden.

Those are all my thoughts for the moment...  And I don’t mean to hate on anyone who likes this ship! These are just my thoughts. 

Also I think I repeated myself a lot lol but yes basically I agree with you.

[uchihaharlot]

Obito/Tobi Anon here again; hey it’s okay! Some ships aren’t for everyone! If anything I just like to think of the Zetsu Tobi being devoted to Obito to an extent of trying to protect him from this reality and just being used as a means to an end: however to each their own! Regardless your headcanons are still fun to read ^^

• I’m sure if I came across a fic I would still be down bad to read it. There isn’t much I won’t touch, it’s good for writing and it opens up so many possibilities and opportunities to grow as a writer/drabbler. I mean…I read Shiita. I know lots of people despise it, but the darkest depths within me absolutely craves two of my most cherished characters enjoying one another in the most deprived and salacious ways imaginable.

Second thoughts:

• I would like to imagine that Zetsu was team Obito, but let’s be real. Zetsu was just another nesting Russian doll within the greater puppetry created by Rabbit Grandma. So it’s hard for me to give him the benefit of the doubt.

• Unfortunately I think Zetsu had more of an affinity to Madara until the whole ‘this is why we can’t have nice things’ part and then Madara was taken out too easily.

• He if anything is an amazing mass manipulator. That was some superb performance from an aloe plant. Definitely a lot more than photosynthesis going on in that guy. Well, yes what am I talking about. Hashirama cells.

• There are some things from the show that are just so hard canon that I can’t really bend them to my will and I think Zetsu is one of those characters.

Ps idk why I used bulletins lmao it helps me think. 🤔

[dognoselover]

Bloodstained Hands, Ch 2:

Kakashi shot awake in a panic, gasping for breath and covered in a cold sweat. His hands were trembling, and, for a long moment, he was disoriented. This wasn’t his room, or his apartment. Where were his pictures of his team? Or Mr. Ukki? Even his body felt wrong. But then, suddenly, Kakashi remembered where he was. When he was.

“Kakashi!”

His eyes widened at the sound of the sweet, sing-song way his name was called. No… It couldn’t be. Throwing himself from the bed, he rushed to the front door, ignoring the way his skull flared painfully and how he stumbled. Panting, he slowed as the front door came into sight.

“Kakashi, I know you’re in there. You didn’t show up for training today. Minato-sensei said you weren’t feeling well, so I thought I should bring over something for you to eat…”

“Why do you even bother?” Came a loud, familiarly obnoxious voice. Dread rose in Kakashi’s chest, threatening to consume him. “You know he’s not even going to answer the door.”

Unbeknownst to his teammates, the Hatake was only a few feet from the door. He could sense their chakra, weaker than he last remembered it, but still there, strong and steady. The wound in his heart begged him to open the door, to wrap them both in his too-small arms and beg for their forgiveness. Yet, he couldn’t find the strength in him to move, paralyzed by fear. The darkness within him too easily reminded him that he was the reason for both of their deaths. If anything, he should push them away. He should push them far, far away, and then maybe then they would be safe from the destruction that he caused everywhere he went.

Obito and Rin were freshly fallen snow, and Kakashi was soaked in their blood, trying to keep it from dripping from his fingers with every breath.

“See?” Obito broke through his thoughts. “I told you he wasn’t going to answer.”

“Hush!” Rin scolded. Kakashi silently approached the door, using every ounce of restraint that he had finely honed during his decades as a shinobi. “Kakashi, please, talk to us.”

His voice came through low and hoarse, like a hiss. “Go away.”

Unfortunately, his acknowledgement of their presence only encouraged Rin. “Kakashi!” She exclaimed. The happiness in her voice tore at his soul like savage claws, and everytime she said his name his resolve crumbled a little more. “I brought some miso soup, since I know it’s your favorite… It has eggplant, too! I-”

“Go away. I don’t want to see you.”

“Oh. Alright…” Rin trailed off, and Kakashi could hear the dejection in her voice. Of course, if Rin was upset, Obito felt the need to jump to her defense.

“Why do you have to say that, Bakakashi?” Obito shouted. “You’re always so mean, and Rin was just trying to do something nice for you-!”

ooooh this is a cool section !! i’ll do my best to give a Good DVD Comment on it but i wrote it... at least a year ago so LMAO

the chapter begins with a nightmare and that nightmare ends with rin saying kakashi’s name when she was killed - and i liked the transition of her, in real life, saying it to him to wake him up. and kakashi’s freshly time traveled, so he’s disorientated and confused af. 

meanwhile, obito and rin are... concerned out of their minds. kakashi? sick? missing training? he must be dying. so of course they’re going to go check on him. but kakashi hasn’t actually seen them yet. it’s his first interaction with his formerly dead teammates (save for minato).

and he’s just confused, especially awoken from a nightmare like that, and his most significant memories of them are of their deaths, and he’s just not ready. not ready to accept this is his reality now, not ready to lock eyes with two people he failed so spectacularly and pretend like everything was normal, like he was his bratty 12 year old self who didn’t care when actually he cares so so much.

this is also the first time we see a theme prevalent throughout the first half of the story-- what does kakashi do different? does he hold them closer or push them father away? savor their presence or protect himself from another possible failure-- their possible deaths, again?

he just doesn’t know right then, so he pushes them away. he doesn’t have a solid plan of action and that scares him. he doesn’t know what he’s going to do and he can’t show them all this emotion that he has-- emotion that he’s not even used to dealing with himself --because if they see that emotion then they’re going to know something’s wrong and then they’re going to press him. press him for information he doesn’t have and isn’t ready to give. he just... doesn’t have any answers. and with kakashi the way he is, a strategic genius since he was a toddler, i imagine not knowing what to do is frightening. he’s always been quick on his feet, with a witty retort or a plan of action and here he’s got nothing. nada. the obvious tactical solution is to retreat until he does have a plan.

so he pushes them away. or tries to. rin is wholeheartedly concerned for him and wants to express that in a way kakashi would appreciate -- something practical, like a meal -- and she’s undeterred by his expected backlash. her concern for her teammate far extends the severity of his words, which she’s used to by now, and his barbs aren’t so much as barbs to her. she recognizes it for what it is: a defense mechanism. she also knows that he just can’t keep closing himself up but that’s pitted against her politeness and fear of upsetting him, which is why she gives up relatively quickly after kakashi insists that they leave.

obito, on the other hand, is vulnerable. he’s concerned for kakashi for once, not seeing him right now as a rival but a teammate in need-- because when, ever, has the prodigy kakashi seemed so human? --and when kakashi uses that vulnerability to push him away, obito gets understandably angry. he’s defensive of himself for being vulnerable, which was obviously a mistake since kakashi didn’t take the olive branch, and it presents as defensiveness of rin, even though she can well enough handle herself. why rin, though? well, we could just put gender roles into place and say something outdated like “he was protecting her” from someone she.. didn’t need protecting from. but in reality, he gets defensive over rin because he can’t get defensive over himself. saying that he didn’t like kakashi’s response is the same as admitting weakness, and 12 year old kakashi caught scent of weaknesses and exploited them like a bloodhound on a trail. and obito wants nothing more than kakashi’s respect, to see him as an equal. so if he shows that he’s concerned, that he’s hurt, kakashi would just see him as a crybaby plus some. since he wants to avoid that, shifting his protectiveness onto rin is the next best option.

ultimately it just presents a team dynamic that i thought was... fitting. obito and kakashi still clashing, right off the bat, as if nothing had changed although everything had changed. putting a bigger strain on their first true meeting. it’s all kakashi trying to juggle time traveling and his not-dead dead teammates and all this unusual physical pain he has in his left eye, while at the same time obito trying to handle kakashi and rin trying to handle the both of them.

i could honestly ramble about this a whole lot more -- i’ve already written a fuckn more in depth analysis of my own damn writing than i was expecting (why cant i do this on my college essays) -- but i think that about sums it up. can you tell i like introspection a whole lot? :)

[a-ard]

Thoughts on Iruka discourse yesterday lets go

First of all dont take this seriously because this a shitty website, not college. Second of all forgive my Indonesian ass if i made stupid grammar mistakes and only mutuals can correct me. Third of all i dont generalize everyone but if you’re offended-- maybe you have to check yourself

Okay so, everyone is surprised (myself included) why shitheads suddenly hate Iruka. I’m trying to answer myself from observations and its quite simple really

Either from 1) jealousy, or 2) Racism

Eveeeery post about how trash Iruka is came from jealousy. He’s a great dude, and yes. A side character. And yes people love him and he’s popular and people make content for him and ship him. And its fucking okay? Like if you really read or watch canon Naruto and not fillers, you know he’s the least problematic character out there since chapter one

The comments about Iruka that i read here on tumblr or twitter is about how Iruka is... Overrated? Which is... doesnt make sense because he has never been popular on tumblr or twitter since idk 2018? 2016? Maybe? But real fans know he always won most 10 popular characters in Japan and loved by everyone and it has never been a problem,,, 'till now i guess

I’m not talking about kakagaiyamaobi rn because they hate his very existence without reading or watching Naruto at all. I’m talking the kind of jealousy dudebros have toward Iruka since Jiraiya or Kakashi didnt get Naruto’s father title.

Like, people get confused with parental and mentor figure when their thought process revolve around who can beat who,,, and Hinata’s vs Sakura’s boobs. Thats all what they’re talking about really. You can find them mostly on twitter or instagram

And yesterday i found out (this is new, even from me) here on tunglr dot com that people hate Iruka because he’s popular than Chouji! Really!! This is mind blowing because there’s like... no correlation between them.. at all... They’re both nice characters but they rarely interact? People really out there comparing Iruka... and Chouji. Amazing

I dont want to say who’s better than who in this case.. So some Chouji stans hate Iruka because (in their logic) he’s a side character who gets popular than Chouji (who is a main character), because Chouji is a fat character and people are way more inclined to stan skinnier character (in this case, Iruka) when both of them care deeply for Naruto

That’s why you will always see these comments about Shikamaru & Chouji vs Iruka like,,, its stupid and petty but there it is. And I just knew about this yesterday.

(If any Chouji fans reading this, know that we dont hate Chouji at all.. People, especially POC, adore Iruka because we hardly have any representation.. Especially dark skinned Asian)

Alright now we’re talking about the kakagaiyamaobi or whoever the fuck. It’s pure jealousy at this point. Like they’ll take whatever Iruka hate post out there out of it context and make it all about their dear, depressed, Kakashi.

EVEN if the hate post about Iruka doesnt talk about his relationship with Kakashi, they’ll find a WAY. CHECK TAGS these people are crazy lmao. You’ll see...

These shitheads will always find a way of comparing or relating Iruka with Kakashi, Yamato, Gai, or even Obito. Not in a "oh Iruka skills are blablabla so he can beat A, B, or C" in a dudebros way. Its always about how Iruka isn't good enough for Kakashi? Like seriously. I've seen kakagai called him a trash character for being not good enough for Kakashi or because kakairu is popular? Thats jealousy babe!

They said Gai would help Kakashi took care of Naruto. Or when someone suddenly said that Iruka doesnt understand Kakashi's depression and obsession with his dead teammates. Or how Yamato did better of taking care of Naruto than Iruka. In the end it always revolves around Iruka’s relationship with Kakashi and i want to rip my hair off because GOD its so childish you’re 23!!! Mind your own bussiness god

It sucks because i'm cool with Yamato, Gai, or Obito but shitheads always talk about them when it comes to who cares/fucks Kakashi here on tumblr and hardly about their potential or jutsus... And suddenly Iruka is a bad character because "hey! People love him and start shipping him with Kakashi when these three are here!!"

"You know what would make people stop shipping him with Kakashi? Reminding people that he’s a side character and making Iruka as an abusive asshole who doesnt care about Naruto!"

And the last one, racism.

"He's a dark skinned East Asian man who are very caring and kind and loves kid. We hate that about him. Anyone in this shounen manga can punch kids but when it comes to Iruka scolding Naruto its not fucking allowed." 

“He’s your dark skinned character and we can’t make him big and loud? Trash. He’s kind and caring and quiet and he’s not white? He’s not pale at all? Garbage.” 

“We can’t racebending him the way we did Gai because he’s already brown and its not woke enough?! We can’t get brownie points out of him”

“Everything about him is abusive.” 

Some weirdo here on tumblr sent Afronaruto an ask that if she doesn’t ship kakagai she hates brown people?!!!! LMAO 

Can y’all like,, stop being a weirdo? Who’s fault is it that Iruka has more content and love when all you do is copying each other bitching post? I feel sorry for you

[enby-angel]

Naruto OTP challenge (seen on @melmalfoy, it looked fun) Choose 5 OTP’s, in no particular order, without looking at the questions. 1. SakuLee 2. OroJira 3. ZabuHaku 4. KakaObiIru 5. SasuNaruShika (throw a couple OT3s in there, why the hell not)

1. Do you remember the first episode/scene/chapter you started shipping 5?

End of the Chuunin exams arc, when Shikamaru let a team after Sasuke and Naruto and idk??? They just seem like they’d be really good together lmao

2. Have you ever read a fanfiction about 2?

Yyyyyep

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr ID?

KakObi has, unfortunately no Iruka is present (as it’s currently my phone lockscreen)

4. If 3 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

THEY’RE BOTH DEAD. I CRIED. A LOT.

5. Why is 1 so important?

LISTEN. Sakura’s character arc (especially in arc 1) was focused entirely on Sasuke and she wanted to become a shinobi PURELY to impress him (and she fucked up a perfectly good friendship with Ino, gg Sakura) and even when SasuSaku became canon he??? left??? her??? and their child??? alone??? WHAT THE HELL SASUKE.

ANYWAY. Lee is a really damn nice kid, Gai raised him well, and he was ready to devote himself to protecting Sakura even though he acknowledges that Sakura is fully capable of taking care of herself. Knowing this he still wants to protect her because??? He loves her??? And it would have been a really cool character development arc for Sakura to accept that Sasuke really doesn’t feel the same way about her and to move on from him - she wouldn’t immediately start going out with Lee because she knows that a bounce-back boyfriend is a Bit Not Good(TM) but they start taijutsu training together and they start hanging out and she realises what a really nice guy he is?? And they start dating and they’d be so cUTE LET ME LIVE

6. Is 4 a funny or serious ship?

Serious. KakaObi was almost canon, KakaIru was almost (even though it might as well be unconfirmed) canon, and I reckon Obito would adore Iruka and vise versa. They’d be lovely.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which has the most chemistry?

ZabuHaku. By far.

8. Of all the ships listed, which has the strongest bond?

ZabuHaku again. Sobbing.

9. How many times have you watched/read 2’s fandom?

A lot. I crunched the Ao3 tag.

10. Which ship lasted longest?

I’ve been shipping SakuLee the longest... as in... six years... I love them a lot okay

11. How many times, if ever, has 5 broken up?

Not canon unfortunately (rip), but bear with me here - in the event that Sasuke stayed in the village after the Chuunin exams (because he could have made actual friends), I think Sasuke might have broken up with them later as Itachi tried more outlandish things to get his brother’s attention back on killing him, and Sasuke at one point would just snap and leave the village. It would take a while for Shikamaru and Naruto to trust him again, but they truly want to help him and they’d accept him back.

12. If 1 and 3 were thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which would make it out alive?

ZabuHaku - Zabuza has a giant-ass sword and Haku freezes shit. They’d be gold.

SakuLee - the zombies would be running from THEM.

13. Did 4 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Hmmmm. In an AU where Obito lives and is trying to integrate back into Konoha, they may have had to hide their relationship for a while until the majority of the village (old shinobi in particular) start accepting him, but eventually they come out and they get married and it’s cute.

14. Is 5 still together?

In my head? Yes.

15. Is 1 canon?

No. It should have been (see question 5).

16. If all 5 ships were thrown into a couple’s Hunger Games, who would win?

SakuLee has potential because they’re both badasses that can knock heads off with a single punch. And Sakura’s a medic.

OroJira are two of the legendary Sannin. They’re terrifying.

ZabuHaku are assassin missing-nin, so they’ve got good chances but they’ve been beaten by Kakashi and Team 7 once.

KakaObiIru are two parts insane assassins, one part fuinjutsu master. They’re good.

ShikaNaruSasu have one nine-tails, one slightly insane Uchiha with a whole Dorito’s bag worth of chips on his shoulder and one master strategist. Honestly, they’re probably the closest to winning.

17. Has anyone tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Death and a meddling brother, mostly.

18. Which ship would you defend to death and beyond?

SakuLee. Fight me.

19. Have you ever spent hours a day going through 3’s tumblr tag?

YES. I CRIED AT THE FANART. CURSE YOU ALL, I LOVE YOU.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you to pick one ship to break up forever, which ship would you sink?

OroJira?