#obvious as i wanna make it seem. im not wrong but im sure others are right about other things

[captain-mj]

God I need a fic where Simon makes one of those offhand trauma comments before Johnny and gaz got used to them and they are just horrified

I was hoping I would get this ask! Obvious CW for talks of trauma, Ghost is nonchalant but others are horrified

Ghost sat down at one of the tables next to Soap and Gaz. He wasn't interested in eating at the moment, but if he sat in his room for another minute, he was pretty sure the walls would start talking to him. So he was in here instead.

Soap and Gaz waved at him and continued to talk. They usually did this and Ghost could just jump in whenever he felt like it. So far, he didn't find himself in a talkative mood so he just listened.

The current topic was their plans for the upcoming weekend. It wasn't technically a weekend, just three days they all had off due to two missions being scheduled a little further apart than expected. They planned to go down to the tracks for some reason to watch dogs race. Neither gambled to Ghost's knowledge and just watching them race seemed a little boring for such a convenient weekend time, but if that's what they wanted to do he supposed.

"You wanna join us Lt?" Soap smiled. "Maybe you can put some money down?"

"Last time someone around me gambled, I was gangraped. No thanks." Ghost flicked his eyes elsewhere to scan the room. He heard the clattering of silverware and turned towards them again. "Yes?"

Gaz looked... angry? "Lieutenant. It's really not right to joke about rape like that. Rape jokes are for victims and-"

"Who said I was joking?" Ghost stared at him. "And I believe if victims can joke about it, that means I'm allowed to."

Soap covered his mouth. "Oh, Simon I'm so sorry that's so terrible. I'm happy you were able to talk to us about it but..." He kept talking but Ghost just tuned him out.

"Ugh." Ghost eventually broke his silence to interrupt Soap and then leave. "Don't be such babies about it."

Gaz and Soap looked at each other and then tried to follow behind Ghost.

"Hold up. You can't just joke about that and then leave!"

"Just did. It wasn't hard."

Gaz quickly tapped Ghost's arm. "Sorry for assuming you were being insensitive."

Ghost shrugged, not really caring. "I'm a big guy. At least you guys believe me. Most people don't."

He wasn't sure what he said wrong but that seemed to make them more upset. “I thought you guys would appreciate that? Jesus.”

Soap looked so upset on Ghost’s behalf. “But that’s awful! You deserve support!”

Ghost stared at him, thinking about how he sometimes had panic attacks and could barely handle women touching him anymore. He had dealt with people hugging him, touching his back, trying so hard bring him back from that dark place. “Nah. Im good. Get fucked.”

[corvusphilia]

★ SKIN PRESSED AGAINST ME TIGHT

୨ৎ featuring: keishin ukai x afab! reader smut

୨ৎ notes: im afraid i need him bad

not proofread!!

He wanted your first time to be special. He's had so many meaningless flings before because he was horny and stupid when younger, he doesn't want the same to happen to you as well. You're special to him, so he wanted to do things right for once. So much so he looked like kind of a dweeb during your first date, only allowing himself to kiss you when you leaned in first. It's not like he didn't want to kiss you — because god only knows how long he had been fantasizing about those soft lips of yours — but he was actually terrified of messing up the one good thing he had going on.

So when, during your third date at his place as you two were making out on the couch, he felt your hands traveling from his shoulders to his chest until they reached the hem of his pants, he almost thought about pulling away. It was obvious what you wanted. And fuck if he didn't want it as well. But he was still reluctant — what if everything goes wrong after this?

He didn't dare stop you, though. Not when you took off his shirt, not when you straddled his lap, and definitely not when you started taking your own clothes off as well. For once, the lust clouding his judgment didn't seem like such a bad thing anymore. And the way you would squirm and gasp softly when he ran his large hands over your exposed skin — god fucking dammit, he couldn't hold back anymore. Especially when you seemed just as eager.

He pushed you back against the cushions, running two fingers over your clothed core, and couldn't help the soft groan that escaped his throat when he felt how wet you were. He leaned down, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck as his hand now reached inside your underwear, the tips of his fingers barely grazing your clit. "Eager little thing, ain't ya?" He murmured against your skin, as if he wasn't hard as a fucking rock right now.

His fingers started rubbing slow circles against your clit. Painfully slow. It's like he was aiming at teasing rather than pleasuring, and that theory only got confirmed when he chuckled as you whined for him to speed up. He just kissed your neck in response to your pleas, pushing your underwear to the side rather than actually taking it off before removing his hand. He grabbed the base of his cock, stroking it a few times before sliding it up and down your slit, his head collecting your juices and never actually pushing inside as he continued to pepper kisses from your jawline to your collarbone.

He nipped at your neck when you squirmed in frustration. "Shh... Let me enjoy this for a bit, yeah?" He whispered, running his free hand up from your waist to your breast before giving it a light squeeze. He pulled away a few seconds after, one hand holding the armrest for stability while the other lined up his cock with your entrance. He looked into your eyes as he slowly pushed in, his head parting your folds and bullying its way into your tight heat.

"Fuck..." He groaned, his head falling forward as he felt your walls squeeze his shaft. "God, you feel so fuckin' good," He moaned out and, after waiting to make sure you got used to his size, he started to move, pulling out almost entirely before pushing back in. He kept the pace slow, sensual even, one of his hands resting on your waist as his thumb rubbed gentle circles on your hip. He alternated between keeping his eyes closed to fully enjoy the feeling of you wrapped tight around him and keeping them open to watch your face contort in pleasure. Fuck, you looked so beautiful like that.

He leaned down, pressing his lips against yours, his thrusts never faultering. "Tell me if you want me to change something. Wanna make this good for you, too." He whispered, but when he buried himself just a bit deeper and felt the way your thighs started to shiver, he knew you were enjoying it. He wrapped an arm behind your lower back and the other snaking up to tangle in your hair, pulling your body flush against his. "You look so fuckin' sexy, doll... 'M so lucky." He mumbled, speeding up just a tiny bit.

His groans turned into shameless moans, strong arms still holding you tight against him like he wanted to feel every inch of your skin against his. "You're gonna be mine, right? Wanna be the only one to touch you like this." He sighed against your neck, and you could feel it in the way he was holding you, kissing you, fucking you, that he meant every word of it.

© ─ corvusphilia ; do not steal, copy, edit, translate or reupload

thanks for reading!

[redmarqar]

alright so.

saw that post of things in tf2 lore that people get wrong, made by @/solid-white (not tagging them because i simply dont want to bother them) and wanted to ramble about the engineer's eyes part where it says that he has green eyes and not blue as everyone headcanon him to have, i actually did a little research through the fanmade models + official content AND while we're on it and actually talking about it, i want to add some information to all that

im obviously not saying that solid white is wrong anywhere, they actually pointed out several interesting details about the lore and attention to details is what i really love about any kind of community, again, im just saying that im here to add some info.

so first of all (and the most obvious part) is that the actual engineer model doesn't have any eyes under the goggles, valve model makers simply sculpted him with his goggles stuck to his face. and i found a fanmade model of his face without the goggles! its made by poltergauss on steam, it also was used for maynard's eyeless face model in emesis blue as you might know!

moving on, i wanna talk about the fanmade models with eyes(im pointing out the fanmade part because it'll be important a bit later in the post), first one is called enhanced engineer by maxxy on steam (i think that's that one person who made the embargo map?? i'll double check that later), this model was used most often for the sfms n other stuff, also it was used for meet the engineer without goggles by hellhounds04. that engie originally has blue eyes

and the model with green eyes that solid white used in their post... well i couldn't find the author of that one really, its either argie702 tf2c mod on gamebanana OR gintoki sakata on gamebanana or someone else, i suppose the actual creator of the model is somewhere on gamebanana too, there are plenty of models there and i just couldn't find anything. this model has green eyes as mentioned above

and now the interesting part about the canon engie, as you remember, in the true meaning comic he has no goggles and here i have absolutely no clue about the eyes, of course its the environmental factors like the fireplace in the dark room + unique shading and colouring style of the comic artist that makes it harder to understand the exact colour of the eyes, so im not sure about that, it seems like the artist didnt want us to know engie's actual eye colour, maybe in the seventh comic dell will appear without goggles, who knows...

summing up, his eye colour is a mess. like honestly, no idea. but anyway its awesome to see people draw him with any eyes different from blue, what im saying is that there's no canon colour until we get the answer from the comic (and all hail headcanons) + huge shoutout to solid white again, im glad they talked about it first and made me able to put my "um ackshually☝️🤓" in it

also if im wrong in any part about the model creators credit or in any other detail, you're always welcome to point this out for me, im still curious about who made the green eyed engie model, and as i was saying i just wanted to share this research with you. thanks for reading!

[fluffansmut]

Putting the cry in crybaby at the center of this part of Eddie x crybaby!fairy!reader

The hurt/comfort hoe in me is kicking off as usual I’m sorry

Part one, part two, part three

Eddie leaned quickly how fairies worked.

He learnt that loud noises made you scatter away and hide.

He learnt that you needed lots and lots of reassurance and attention.

He also learnt how to handle the tiny huffing and pouting that accured from you you ever so often.

He knew that a lot of things could end in tears.

It wasn’t that you were too needy and fragile, it was as he himself explained it “just a fairy thing”.

Truth to be told, Eddie relished in the feeling of being needed, he thrived in learning new ways to make sure you were at your best. He loved, loving you.

🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

This particular day, was a delicate one.

Everything seemed to be going wrong today.

When you woke up on your spot in the crook of Eddie’s neck, his guitar pick necklace had tangled round your leg as you moved in your sleep. So Eddie woke up to thrashing about on his chest along with twinkling sobs.

“Hey! Hey hey hey sweetheart,” he said to get your attention. Which worked because you stopped trashing around.“What’s going on?”

“I’m stuck!” You sobbed.

Eddie tried to hide the smile on his face, you were the light of his life even when you were in what you felt was the depths of despair.

“Do you want me to help, baby?” He asked.

This caused you to cross your arms across your chest and pout big. Wasn’t that completely obvious?

“Duh?” You said.

“I’ll help you, hang tight” he said getting to work unlacing the chain, holding your foot between him thumb and forefinger. “But please calm it with the attitude”

His small request set off a new round of sobs that wrecked your tiny frame.

“Im sooorry!” You sobbed. “It just hurts and I wanna be free!”

Eddie looked at you, with your glossed over eyes and tear stained cheeks and his heart all but melted into the pit of his stomach.

“Working as fast as I can baby” he reassured.

When you were freed Eddie tenderly rubbed some lotion on the parts of your leg that had small markings from the chain and then you went off to the kitchen for breakfast.

Eddie tenderly plopped you down on the armrest of the sofa with a promise of honeycomb cheerios.

When he left to go fetch the breakfast you tried to keep your cool and wait for his return… but the room felt way to big and you felt so alone…

Logically you knew that Eddie was in the same room and that he would be back as soon as he could. But that didn’t stop the tears that welled up and blurred your vision.

You brought you knees to your chest, burying your face in them, muffling your sobs.

Eddie still heard them though, the sound of it made his heart ache a little. He knew you couldn’t help it, and he wanted just to do just about anything to make you feel better.

He brought his own bowl of cheerios along with yours in an eggcup.

“Oh, honey” he said when he saw your curled up form on the armrest, even the wings on your back slouched.

He grabbed his hanky from the pocket of his dio vest that hung of the back of a chair, and held it out for you. You grabbed it, burying your face in it, soaking in the scent of Eddie.

“Cmere baby.” Eddie said and picked you up in the palm of his hand.

He sat down on the sofa, putting you in the crevice of his chest, where you could hear his heartbeat and copy his slow breathing.

You hung onto the hanky with one arm and the neckline of Eddie shirt with the other.

“I’m sorry Eddie” you whined out, feeling incredibly guilty about all of it.

“Hey, don’t apologise, it’s a tough day today and we’ll do our best to get through it, mkay?” Eddie said, kissing the top of your head as he ran his pointer finger up and down your back.

He held you there, staying in the moment, humming a little, keeping his finger on your back, making his presence totally obvious to you as you focused on calming down.

“Do you want to do some reading or do you want to watch tv after we eat baby?” Eddie asked. He had originally planned to take you berry picking but he figured it could wait til another day.

“Reading, please” you mumbled, nuzzling your cheek closer to his chest, waiting for a piece of cereal and a droplet of milk from Eddie pinky finger.

[sleepyhead0720]

Hiii, saw your request is open and I rlly love your writing style! Can I request a fluffy Sanji x Reader where Reader and Sanji are pining for each other and the whole crew is just tired of it, esp Nami and Robin because the couple think that their crush with one another is unrequited. Thus, the crew devised a plan to make them confess to one another.

Tysm and I hope u have a nice day <3

Aww tysm! I hope you enjoy it<3

I wish you a good day too:))

Masterlist

Feels for you

“How long have they been at this?”

Robin glanced at Sanji who was all over you,

“I believe it’s been about a week or two”

She said looking down at her book

Nami huffed

“And the both of em haven’t made a move yet?”

Robin shrugged

Nami looked at the two of you, Sanji was giving you some fresh food in the shape of hearts as he looked at you like a lovesick idiot

You, with obvious blush, ate the fruits that he offered you while thanking him.

It was ridiculously obvious how the two of you felt for each other, atleast for Robin and nami

“Hey you guys! Come here!”

Nami whispered at the rest of the crew

As everyone gathered inside, nami began to speak

“Have you guys noticed sanji and y/n?”

Luffy looked confusingly at nami as he ate a piece of meat Sanji cooked for him

“Now that you mentioned it, he has been giving them special attention compered to the two of you” said usopp

Zoro hummed, still sleepy

“Right??”

Nami sighed

Luffy and chopper looked at each other confusingly

“Why? Is anything wrong with them?”

Asked chopper

Usopp turned an whispered something to chopper, then at luffy

“WHA-mph!?”

Nami covered choppers mouth as she whispered yelled at chopper to be quiet

“Ohhh that’s why Sanji has been giving extra food to y/n!”

Luffy laughed as he finished his meal

“Im sick of those to simping for each other and not saying anything!”

Robin chuckled

“If you really don’t like it, you can always give them a little push,”

Nami looked at Robin surprised

“Robin that’s a great idea!”

Nami clapped her hands together

“Ok, everyone! Here’s the plan!”

/——————————————————————-\

“Y/nnnn!” Luffy yelled

Both you and Sanji looked at the hungry captain

“What do you want now luffy?” Sanji asked tired of him already

Luffy seemed to pause as if thinking back to something

“Oh yea! Y/n could you help me with something?”

You stared at him confused

“Uhh yea sure!”

He suddenly carried you and began to take you somewhere in the ship

“Luffy! Slow down!”

“Ah! Sorry y/n!”

He gently put you down

“What did you need help with?”

“Oh, I actually wanted to ask you something!”

You tilted your head at him

“Uh sure? What did you wanna ask me?”

He thought for a moment

“How do you know when you like someone?”

/——————————————————————-\

“Oi, love cook”

“What do you want now moss-head?”

Sanji groaned as he turned to Zoro who was now walking towards him

“So who’s the unlucky girl?”

“Huh??”

Zoro smirked at him

“Cmon, i know you like y/n, it’s pretty obvious by the way you treat her compered to everyone else”

Sanji blushed and looked away

“Ho-how??- that’s none of your business !”

Zoro’s smirk widened

“Oh but it is! Cause I like her too,”

Sanji quickly turned towards zoro shocked

He laughed

“In fact, I’m planning to confess to her once luffy brings her back”

Sanji glared at the swordsmen

“Don’t you dare!”

Zoro laughed more

“I’ll make you a deal since Im so nice, if you confess first, I’ll forgot about my little crush on her, but if I do it first, I think we both know what’ll happen”

Sanji seemed to glare at him even more

“Oh we’ll speak of the devil”

Zoro smiled as he turned towards you and Luffy walking towards them

“Oi! Y/n could I take to you?”

“DONT you dare moss-head!”

Sanji yelled at Zoro as he raced towards you

You tilted your head, confused

“Uhh sure?”

Zoro smirked and whispered something to Sanji which made him blush hard

“Erm… y/n could I talk to you in private?”

He said nervously

“Sure!”

The two of you walked away from Luffy and Zoro

The rest of the crew came out of their hiding spots

“All that is left is for Sanji to make the first step”

Nami smirked

“Finally!”

“Oi nami, where’s my booze?”

“AND my food!”

/——————————————————————-\

“So what did you wanna talk about?”

You turned to Sanji, a light blush in your cheeks

“Uhm well there’s something that I’ve been wanting to tell you for a long time…”

‘Could it be?’

You blushed at the idea

“Yea?”

He stayed quiet

“Y/n, i-erm….I like you, and not just as a friend! I like you more then that…. And uh…. You don’t have to return my feelings but I just wanted to let you know that….”

He avoided eye contact with you as he his blush worsened

You blushed at his words as a smile appeared on your face.

“Im glad Sanji, cause I may have the same feelings for you too!”

He turned to you surprisingly but that being replaced by a big lovesick smile on his face too

He approached you slowly and hesitantly wrapped his arms around you while giving your forehead a kiss

You hugged him back while inhaling his scent happy that you wouldn’t spend more time with your hidden feelings about him.

|———————————————————————|

[m4yasnotthatcool]

SID JENKINS X F!READER

angst + comfort hc fic drabble thingy

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

(a/n) nobody requested this, i just made one of my friemds choose 1 or 2 to figure out if i wanna write for sid or freddie, made her choose the format and the genre and then i left her alone😽🎀 (luv u pooks<3)

also girl im listening to some fuck ahh the nbh rn, kill me (i love it, i chose it)

warnings: profanity (its skins, what did you expect?), reader has boobs (very silly goofy, ik.), i think it could be read as gn reader but when i wrote it i had myself in mind so... f!reader?..., also michelle and tony are brefly memtioned at one point (as chelle and tone iykyk), also might contain spoilers(as in, it does contain spoilers)

---------------------------------------------------------

•summer is a season both you and your boyfriend, sid, hate dearly;

•you still had sleepovers, only at this time of the year, the heat left over from the day before made it unbearable to sleep like you usually did (which was usually one of you on top of the other if im being honest);

•so here you sat now, layed out on sids bed, a thin sheet covering one of your legs and your lower abdomen, trying to maybe get at least an hour or two of shut eye before the sun would rise once again;

•sitting there, you felt your boyfriend shuffle in his sleep. you didnt think much of it seeing as he often moved while sleeping, until you felt his arm thrown across your abdomen;

• you let him be, thinking that was going to satisfy his yearning for physical contact, but you were wrong;

•not even a couple of minutes later, he rested his head on your chest while his arms hugged you, his hands interlocking behind your back;

•you tried desperately to cool off, kicking the sheets off of your body. unfortunately your attemptes fell unsuccesfull as the obvious heat sorce sitting on top of you had not moved;

•gently lifting him up and laying him next to your spot on the bed, you got up. "ugh, wanker..." you looked at the sleeping teenager next to you. some sheets tangled between your legs made you trip but you cought yourself on his desk, knocking over a few late assignments he had yet to turn in. "well, its not like he would ever get to doing them anyway" you tought as you regained your composure and left the room heading for the stairs.

•you now sat on top of the counter of his kitchen, a glass of cold water in hand from which you periodicly took small sips;

•the only thing you could focus on was the ice cold water sooting your agony as it seemed to indeed help you cool off after the encounter with the sleeping form of your boyfriend;

•"there you are" you heard sids voice come from behind you, a sheepish smile plastered on your face at the tought that his first concern after waking up was you;

•"oh, NOW you wake up" you giggle to yourself as you feel his elbow resting next to you on the counter;

•"what do you mean?" he asks you, tiredness evident in his tone "i mean, yea, ive been sleeping good, but did you try to wake me up or something?";

•"nah, didnt wanna interupt your beauty sleep" you nudge his side playfully "god knows you need it"; "it was just too hot up there, especially with you resting your head between my tits";

•he gasped dramaticly "i would never do such a thing!" ... "sid you and me both know you stare at 'chelles tits whenever we see her and tone' so cut the bullshit" "yea, youre right, im looking at yours right now and they look..." you punch his arm as a warning to not continue what he planned to say;

•"sid, hon, its hot as bollox back in your room, so as much as im flatered by your comments on my great personality id prefer we sleep a little farther apart tonight. you know, just so i dont spontaneously combust while you focus on my boobs on eather side of you head";

•sid slightly laughes before pausing. "can we... go back to bed please?" he avoids your gaze after saying that, making you drop your teasing tone. "sure sid" you say as you hop down from where you were sitting, placing the glass near the sink"are you okay?" you ask your boyfriend,

•"yea, why wouldnt i be?";

•"well, for starters you not only woke up, vut also got out of bed? at 4 am? you?";

•"i didnt know where you went, okay? i just..." he sighed and looked at the floor "i dreamt i lost you too, you know?";

•"well shit..." you murmur as you aproach the boy in front of you;

•you reach out your hands, cupping his face to make him look at you; "look, im here, see? im fine, you dont need to worry, okay?" you say as you reach on your tippy toes, giving him a quick peck before letting yourself fall to your normal height once again;

•"yea... i know" he smiled down at you before continuing "so... can we go now?";

•"sure dude" you smiled back at the boy in front of you before taking his hand and leading him back to his room upstairs;

•its safe to say you didnt get much sleep that night, seeing as he climbed on top of you once again as soon as he feel back asleep, but you didnt get up again; sure, you did try to push him off of you a couple of times, but seeing his persistence you gave up quickly;

---------------------------------------------------------

random ahh hc:

after his mom leaving and his dad dying, bro was an emotional wreck;

he became even more clingy than before, trying to somehow make sure you wont leave him too;

so, in return, you had to make sure he knew how much you cared for him;

you know how he followed tony everywhere? and how he showed up at his house? yea, well scratch that, youre his tony now. he shows up at your house unnanounced and ends up sleeping with you on your bed just because he feels like it. like, this of the codependency between him and tony and youve got the general idea of how hed act and what hed do. (their relationship was nothing if not low key homo erotic. well, at least on tonys part ig-);

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

okay so thats it guys omg

(i havent written anything in a very long time so im sorry if its ass lmao)

anyway, feel free to point out any spelling mistakes or anything like that, i really dont mind

other than that, have a great rest of your day/night!

[artful-aries]

Hiii again :D how are you doing? ,-, i hope you're doing well!!!!

My school finally ended and im free- so i was wondering if i can request for some hcs if your okay with it :>

Ive been having this idea for awhile now so, how about Xiao, Zhongli and Cyno with a s/o who avoids conflict? Like, whenever a conversation is slowly heading towards an argument they'll try to end it quickly and whenever a fight is going on they suddenly go quiet due to past traumas

Its up to you whether you wanna write it or not, but make sure to not overwork yourself and thanks for your time :] <3

I’m glad you’re out on break!! I have unfortunately been working my ass off for a promotion that should be finalized in the oncoming weeks, so needless to say I’ve been busy. At any rate, I hope you enjoy! This could be read as platonic if you squint

How They Are With An Argument Avoidant S/O (Xiao, Zhongli, Cyno)

Xiao

If you end an argument before it starts, it will actually take Xiao a little while before he notices the behavior. He thinks that you just finally understand his point and agree with him, rather than just saying whatever will stop the argument from escalating

Socializing isn’t his forte, so picking up on human social cues is quite a task for him. He can tell you’re nervous, that much is obvious by the way your breathing picks up, the way your eyes can’t seem to stay on him for too long, and your heart will be beating slightly harder. He knows this, yet he’s not sure exactly why, and can’t connect the dots. You’ve been nervous around him before and told him it was just because of your attraction to him, so when he notices these things he thinks it’s the same as what you told him before

It’s not until the day you aren’t quick enough to end the argument, when his tone gets sharper with you and you go silent that he discovers the issue in the first place

Even though Xiao knows something is wrong, he has the misfortune of not knowing how to be tactful about it. He will likely just bluntly ask you why you’re quiet, his tone neither gentle or comforting

Obviously, this makes the situation worse, and he’s confused as to why you seem to clam up even more, or in the event that he actually makes you cry, he’s extremely shocked

He’ll stay still as a statue, staring you down like his life depended on it as he tries to think about what he knows of humans to explain why you’re suddenly behaving this way. The fact that he can’t figure it out stresses him, which inadvertently makes him glare at you

If you keep trying to brush this aside and act like everything is fine Xiao will get very irritated with you. Why are you lying to him, and to his face no less?

At the sight of your tears he will do one of two things; either he will leave immediately, or will straight up ask you if you’re afraid of him. Most of the time he will go with the first option, as he often sees himself as some tainted beast with his karmic debt, but under the right circumstances he will feel the compulsion to ask, even though he’s afraid of how you might answer

If you say that you’re scared of him it’ll break his heart, and he will remain stony faced as he simply nods and leaves. If you reassure him that you aren’t scared of him, he will be very relieved, but won’t show it other than a slight tension leaving his shoulders

Xiao isn’t going to dig in much further on your feelings unless you volunteer the information, but he will try to find a way to get you to relax, whether that’s awkwardly asking if you want to share almond tofu with him, or giving you a slightly hard pat to your head to give you comfort

He might not completely understand your reaction, but he does have enough sense to connect the dots and tries not to raise his voice or sound too mean during arguments. Xiao isn’t always successful, but the attempt is there

Zhongli

After millennia of watching humans, the former Archon is pretty observant when it comes to reading subtle emotions and changes in demeanor of people, and you are certainly no exception

With the first few arguments that you go out of your way to deescalate, Zhongli will quietly let you do so, but don’t think for a second that he doesn’t know what you’re doing.

He wants to give you the chance to work your way out of this habit on your own. Humans are capable of so much growth and change in such a short amount of time, and he doesn’t want to feel like he is meddling with that. To him, it’s preferable that you come into your own and develop beyond this habit you have clung to for who knows how long

As long as the arguments aren’t serious, he will continue to let you fall back into your habit, waiting on you to feel comfortable enough to have a normal disagreement with him rather than backing down at the first sign of conflict. It’s only when he feels very strongly about the discussion that he’s trying to have with you that he will confront you on your behavior

Even when arguing he’s never been one to raise his voice or seem threatening, but when you once again try to take the easy way out he will fix you with a stern gaze and ask you why you always seem to shy away from tough discussions with him

If his intensity seems to intimidate you, he’ll softly sigh and ask you to join him for tea, but if it gets you to open up about why you don’t like arguing his expression will soften, and he will pull you into a hug if you’ll let him

Whichever route is taken, he is sure to reiterate that you are completely safe with him, and that no harm will come to you so long as he is alive. Zhongli isn’t naive enough to think that this will solve the problem, but he knows you need to hear it nonetheless

Be prepared to be sat down for a long, extensive talk with him. He’ll make sure it doesn’t sound like he is lecturing you, but it’s important to him that you feel comfortable in this relationship to argue with him. As he will so eloquently put it, “What is a canyon without the river to erode it?”

Zhongli desperately wants you to see arguments as something as inevitable yet mundane as a rolling thunderstorm, and not something cataclysmic like a typhoon. They are a natural part of interpersonal relationships, and he doesn’t want you to fear that form of intimacy with him

He will be one to effectively communicate and help you overcome your aversion to more tense discussions, gently getting you out of your comfort zone until one day you find yourself not feeling dizzy at the sight of his brows that are furrowed at you, you don’t feel ill when Zhongli frowns disapprovingly at what you said. Before you had even realized it, arguing with him just felt like arguing with an extension of yourself

He won’t say anything when he sees how much you’ve changed, but when he watches you argue with him there’s a light in his eyes that wasn’t there before. He’s proud of you.

Cyno

He’s one who is aware of how he could come across before he even knows of your aversion to arguments. Despite how serious he gets with work, he always does his best to not take that energy home with him, but some of that is bound to bleed over eventually

He might write off your dismissive, avoidant behavior the first time, but come the second time when you once again keep your head down and just mumble words of appeasement he will not have it

Cyno will cross his arms across his chest, and flatly ask why you seem to just be agreeing with whatever he says like he’s your boss. He loathes the thought of you behaving like everyone else in the Akademiya. He wants to just be Cyno to you, not the General Mahamatra

When his sternness seems to put you more on edge, he will attempt to make a pun about whatever it was that you were arguing about in an attempt to get you to at least relax a little. If it works, he will be relieved and ask you to not be afraid of sharing your thoughts even if they oppose his own

If making a joke seems like poor timing or if it doesn’t get a smile or laugh out of you, Cyno will frown a little and study you intently, trying to figure out how to approach this sensitive subject. In the end, he’ll settle on asking you if you want him to leave you alone for a while or if you want to have a discussion

Even if it hurts his feelings a little to leave you alone, he won’t show it as he’ll give a silent nod and stay out of your way for a couple of hours before checking back in on you. Though he would prefer to discuss things immediately, he loves you too much to push you

When it comes time to sit down and talk with you, only one question burns in his mind: Why did you seem to be scared of him? Regardless of what you tell him, he will listen without interjection, and will make sure to keep any emotions under control while you express your feelings

Whether it is his fault or not, Cyno can’t help but feel guilty. Perhaps if he didn’t come across so seriously most of the time, then maybe you wouldn’t have felt this way about arguing with him. He’s not one to dwell on his regrets, and will immediately ask what he can do to make things better for you

Your wish is his command, and whatever you suggest Cyno will make sure he fulfills it the next time you two have an argument. The last thing he wants is to instill fear into you, and will do absolutely anything to keep you from feeling uncomfortable or afraid

[zanethepa1n]

GARMADON ESSAY

// SPOILERS FOR NINJAGO SEASONS 3, 8, 9, AND 16

So this is real different from my usual posts, but this is something I've wanted to write about for awhile.

In this post I'm gonna just...explain my views on Garmadon? Not really sure of the best term to use to explain it; of course, it's just my opinion, but I wanna give people different views on his character, yk? I have really strong feelings about this topic so...I imagine this post will be pretty long.

If you have any requests for Ninjago characters you'd want me to do essays on like this lmk and I'll definitely try and get to it...I'll probably do one on Zane at some point.

Anyways, lets beginnn

Okay so let me just warn you again, this post is probably going to be EXTREMELY long and is all just writing. Basically an essay because I'm not sure how else to express my feelings on the matter other than in writing.

Anyways; I am going to try and structure the points I want to make chronologically...kind of. In each of the sections, I will be focusing on the main topic listed, but I may pull evidence from future or past seasons to support what I'm saying. So, the topics go chronologically, but the evidence will not...if that makes sense.

Here are the topics im going to cover in order, I'll expand on them in each of their respective sections;

Sensei Garmadon

Season 8 Fight w/ Lloyd

Christofern

Oni Training w/ Lloyd

Sensei Garmadon

So, this a lot more of a personal opinion, but I do not consider that Sensei Garmadon is different from Lord/Emperor Garmadon. I may be taking what people say wrong, but in my opinion I don't think that Sensei Garmadon is different from current Garmadon in any capacity; he was just in different circumstances. So, let me explain my views on this.

This is obviously not the best evidence because it can be easily defended by what is literally said in canon, but I thought I'd mention it anyways; I do not believe that the Great Devourer bite caused Garmadon to turn evil. It definitely changed him, but I don't think it corrupted him. In my honest opinion, I think that the only thing the Great Devourer bite did was awaken Garmadon's Oni side, and the FSM considered this to be "corruption".

But, despite my above claim being basically blatanly disproven by canon, it's...technically not completely disproven. It is obvious throughout the show that Garmadon is not completely cold-hearted and evil. He shows obvious care for Lloyd, as well as Misako. So it can be said that, even if the Great Devourer did corrupt him in some capacity, it did not do so completely.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I think that Garmadon only turned out "evil" because that is what he was viewed as. His entire life, he was raised to believe he was evil, and everyone around him believed he was evil. The FSM saw Garmadon's Oni blood obviously outweighing his dragon blood, and considered that to be evil, and likely passed that belief onto Wu, whether intentional or not.

Now, this is where I go back to the main topic, Sensei Garmadon. I think that Sensei Garmadon didn't act "evil" because he felt as though he didn't have to any more. I don't really know how to explain how exactly Garmadon's form changed occurred as a result of the Overlord un-possessing him, but Oni can shapeshift, so it is plausible that Garmadon didn't change as a person, but his view on himself changed. Therefore, he felt he no longer had to be evil because nobody around him was claiming he was anymore.

Season 8 Fight w/ Lloyd

This is like, one of the biggest points I have to make. I want to say, before I get into it; I am not trying to completely remove all blame from Garmadon, but I just want to explain my personal thoughts on the situation.

So, firstly, I'd like to address Garmadon's very first line of dialogue before the fight; It was foolish to come here.

Now this shows that it's likely Garmadon did not want to fight. Of course, it could've been more of a threat, but in my mind it seems more as though he had hoped Lloyd would not fall for the trap.

I would also like to mention how much is probably going through Garmadon's mind during Season 8 and Season 9, in general.

He has just been ripped from the claws of death, and is probably in insane amounts of pain (his voice sounds strained during the fight, not mention his ribcage is literally showing), and the first thing he is told is that he has to kill his son to reach his true potential, and to protect his father's realm. A lot of people don't acknowledge that Harumi literally manipulated Garmadon and I think that's really crazy?? Like, she takes advantage of the fact he's struggling with amnesia and is in pain and is like "lol i brought you back as purely evil and all you can do is cause destruction because you're fully oni!!! go murder your son now!!!" Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I don't think that the fight with Lloyd in Season 8 is entirely Garmadon's fault. There's a lot of things that fueled how he was feeling-- not to mention what he says right after Lloyd speaks to him for the first time; You've...you've changed.

I'd be kinda upset too-- if the first time I see my son in years, he's completely changed, basically gone through puberty.

tldr, I think that manipulation and generally being overwhelmed fueled a lot of what Garmadon did in s8-s9 in general, not just the fight scene.

Christofern

This one means a lot to me. Like I have such strong feelings about this.

I HATE when people say "Garmadon cares about a plant more than his own son!!"

Guys. The plant is Garmadon's way of trying to learn compassion and be better so that he can make it up to Lloyd. Christofern in general is a metaphor for Lloyd, Christofern is Garmadon's symbol for Lloyd.

They even point this out in the show during a discussion between Nya and Garmadon!

Nya: Why are you carrying around a plant?

Garmadon: It was the only green in my life. I had hoped it would grow, and thrive, and perhaps, one day ... forgive me. But now it's gone, and I am alone.

Nya: We're talking about the plant, right?

Garmadon: Of course! What else?

Obviously Garmadon says that he's just talking about Christofern, but,, c'mon...do you really think this man is going to admit he's a little sentimental to any of the ninja... he's literally the emotional wall of the century... /hj

Also, this conversation with Nya is had IMMEDIATELY after Lloyd storms off because Garmadon said he was positive they would lose to the Overlord.

So the line But now it's gone, and I am alone. could easily be Garmadon projecting that he's upset that their conversation ended badly and Lloyd stormed off, and that Lloyd will probably get hurt or die in the battle.

Oni Training w/ Lloyd

This one is pretty simple for me to explain, but I've seen a lot of people that don't like how harsh Garmadon was when he was trying to teach Lloyd how to achieve his Oni form.

Personally, I'm nearly 100% sure that Garmadon was only being as mean as he was to inspire Lloyd to be angry so that he could achieve his Oni form; of course this isn't really the best way to go about it, but Garmadon probably only knows how to trigger his Oni form when it is correlated with anger and/or distress, so he probably assumed it would be the same for Lloyd.

I also think this applies to him faking his death; but of course it was extreme and I can understand being upset about it.

So...that's all I had to say. I might come back and add more later? Sorry if this was really incoherent I just typed this all up in one sitting to get it off my mind. In general, I just hope to give people a different perspective on Garmadon's character I suppose? I just,, don't really like that he's like...usually hated or only simped over.

But, again, this is just my opinion, and I'm not trying to change yours <3

[braimrotting]

im so glad the crows got fed yesterday. i love making my severely paranoid old man even more paranoid and traumatised.

just the little feeling in the back of his mind questioning all his childrens actions - are these my kids? cc!phil is far too sure of himself and his recognition of the eggs for it to impact too much but even little mentions is enough to show that theres more trauma to give!

i just wanna say i knew it was sus that the code only took pictures of phils base and no one elses. they had it planned to mimic chay + lulah for days. im trying so hard to think of why tho. base level, it seems obvious bc maybe they needed 2 codes are these 2 spend all their time together when awake. additionally they were 100% not going to attend the dinner so the codes didnt have to worry about them showing up and ruining the plan.

but they had such barebones knowledge of how the eggs act? surely they mustve known they would be found out quickly (i could maybe get them not expecting phil to figure them out in 1 minute tho) UNLESS they were relying on phil not assuming they were imposters bc this situation had never happened before. that seems like a pretty big risk but the only other thing i can think of is them knowing that phil is somewhat isolated and would not go around telling everyone - which was true bc he only told fit + forever.

the codes were acting so wrong i was genuinely shaking while watching it live. chayanne was taking off his armour + following too close to phil + hitting phil + most importantly not listening to him. tallulah was shaking her maracas constantly + not talking to phil + she also was not listening to him and running away. it was so uncanny and genuinely put me on edge especially when he went back to check their beds and they were still there. they are the most well-behaved eggs and follow phil so diligently, i find it strange the codes didnt look into their personalities at all - i wonder if they got their information from the federation status updates on the eggs and that was it. (this would actually explain why the update came at all actually)

anyways loved the Horrors getting to phil. so unexpected bc everyone was convinced it was going to be a canditates attack - phil was prepping support items. though there was crazy foreshadowing with him walking in and saying it looked like a boss battle. ALSO i saw someone say he may have been targeted for his complete refusal of the federation by not voting at all. extra layer of angst bc he did that to protect the eggs + make sure no one could use them against him.

god i need phil to talk to the order ! he has so much info + theories. whats so wrong w a lil crow wanting the blorbo to be hyper vigilant and a paranoid wreck

[th3-p-a1-nt3r]

Okay im literally so bored soooo

@pastelclovds ' isekai AU for Wren again bc i LOVE WRITING!!!

Wrens Isekai life!! Pt. 2!

When they get to the apartment luckily it seemed furnitured but bland enough to still decorate

Wren began to sign to CAM

"Which room would you like, oldest gets to pick first"

RAM a bit offended sighs and takes the L on this one

CAM picked the middle room, not too big, not too small

"RAM would you like the bigger room, I don't wanna be selfish and take it if you want it instead!"

RAM would take it normally, but with the size of the big room it would be better for Wren to take it, since they need the wheelchair in there...

Or maybe they can share this room?

"We can share, the smallest room will be CAM and I office"

"Fair, and sorry if Im being annoying but can you place me on the couch? I'll fidgure out something i can do, don't want to be a mooch ahah!"

Wren felt bad that their useless this time around

Normally they'd be dancing, helping move anything, preparing dinner or even going to their job

But in this world they really can't move with any support

For now they'll just be doing laundry and unpacking boxes for RAM and CAM

Speaking of the two

"Hey RAM, get CAM I need to talk to the two of you!"

They both sit next to Wren as they look at the two

"Okay now that were in a world were I'm familiar with we need to get you better names, I think CAM will be Cameron or Cam for short, its obvious, but RAM...Why don't I call you...Ramon? Just for now! I'll still call the you Ram and Cam but more as nicknames...luckily my name is a normal name so unless the two of you want to share a last name then we need some type of household name"

RAM was barely following along while CAM took notes\

After Wren's rambles they finally got RAM's attention

"Now Ram, Cam if anyone ask you two are born from the same mom different dads, also we should find out if AM is here as well..II know you all don't get along but it'll be nice to see if he has a new identity here as well"

"He won't live here right?"

"Of course not, if he has a house or whatever we'll visit him"

Ram nodded and Cam seemed a bit off with that idea but Wren knows how to lie better than the two of them

"If we can...I kinda wanna see if we can live here as long as we can.."

Wren spoke with a bit of sadness, Ram and Cam knew somewhat why they would wanna stay here but not for what they think

"So, lets fine jobs and I'll lie my candy ass off to make sure no one knows of who we we're before"

They both nod

Night falls and Wren is sitting on the couch knitting a blanket for winter, Cam usually gets cold often so this would be a nice surpise for Christmas

"Wren..."

"Whats up Ram..."

Ram sighs as he sits next to Wren trying to keep them as close as possible

"What is bothering you..I know something is wrong...I may be apathetic to others but for you it's different..I've been in you're mind but I know you kept secrets from me..You're in despair...i know it..."

"I..its..its a long story....And I know I've known you for a while I just...I don't know if you'd hate me for it"

Wren confested as they pinned the chain they were on and packed it into a bag for safe keeping

"When I think you're ready I'll tell you the truth"

Ram seemed a bit upset but he knows its for the best

"I'll put faith you'll tell me"

Ram spoke so softly

Even with his accent he still manages to sound so soft

"heh...I love your scars by the way...they look really cool, can...can I touch them? If you want you can touch mine as well!"

Wren smiled as Ram shook his head

"You may...but you don't have to if you don't want to"

Wren smiled wider as they removed their jacket for him to see the tank top they wore

Their scars ran up their spine and into their hair, they had some on their shoulders and knees but most where on their head

"Oh but I do Ram~"

Adding spicy moments soon~

[soap143]

Adult

Lee! Jeongin

Ler! Chan

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For the past few days, hell, even weeks Jeongin had a strange feeling inside his stomach and annoying thoughts that wouldnt leave his head.

Tickling was a usual thing between the group. It happened daily more than one time. But somehow, Jeongin just couldnt get used to it. He always thought a bit weirdly of tickling, but after getting closer with the boys, at least for a while, he got used to it. However they were all older now and had much more work to do. It wasnt unsual to witness multiple wreckings in the 24 hours that he would spend with his friends, but he felt like he wasnt getting as much of it. Back when he was much younger, all the members would tickle him quite often, to the point where he thought that he might hate it.

Maybe they do think I hate it?

None the less, that was far from the truth — that was exactly what Jeongin had discovered. He really enjoyed the feeling of sneaky little fingers poking his sides and scratching his neck. The poor boy would always jump and yell for the tickler to stop, never knowing how much he acctually loved it. Whats there not to like? All the attention is on you, youre laughing and making others laugh and in the end — aftercare. Perhaps all the members stopped tickling him because of much he would fight back and plead to stop? It wasnt his fault tho. He was just insanely ticklish.

He watched his band group members poke eachother over and over again, simply dying in the inside. However he knew that he couldnt be too obvious about it. Nobody likes being tickled — thats a fact that he was aware of. Its very weird. So, of course, he would never dare to speak to anyone about this.

It was incredibly hard trying not to angrily stare at Changbin and Hyunjin poking eachother while playing video games. “Youre cheating!” Changbin plaufully yelled as he grabbed a chunk of Hyunjins side and mercilessly squeezed. Hyunjin let out a yelp and grabbed his poor side. “What is wrong with you?! I’m in last place beacause of you!” At this point they werent even playing. Hyunjin was trying to get on top of the dwaeki while the victim was fighting his long fingers off.

All that was happening as the poor maknae watched. He thought of joining in, but decided to sulk for a while until someone noticed.

When he arrived into his room, he had found out that another member was already in it. “Chan hyung, what are you doing here?” No response. “Hyung, why are you here?” Jeongin came a bit closer to the laying boy, only to realize he was sound asleep. “Poor Channie, he must have been tired…” He decided to let the leader rest. He was quite exhausted himself, so he carefully wrigled and cuddled up next to Chan.

As soon as I felt someone slighly squeeze my side, I flinched awake. I had gone into Jeongins room to talk to him, but considering I stayed up until dawn last night, I fell asleep on his bed… It was quite embarassing, but he didnt seem to mind. The maknae had cuddled up next to me and was asleep. Whenever Innie has a nightmare, he tends to squeeze whatever thing was the closest to him, whether it was his pillow, blanket or… His hyung.

He is our only maknae, our little baby, and I seemed to notice him not getting as much attention as he used to. But then I remember what he had said only a couple months ago…

We had just finnished practice, it was 9 pm. All of us were exhausted because of the long day. “Lets go to Mcdonalds!” “No, Burger King!” “Accualy, Ive been craving ramen for quite a while…” Everyone was choosing what to eat, however, I noticed Innie invested in his thoughts, sitting on the floor. “Hey I.N., good practice!” “Sure…” “Whatcha wanna eat? Everyone has agreed on ramen, but what do you think?” “ Ramens fine, but Im not going to eat… I-I did pretty bad today, I think I will stay a bit more to practice that one move.” “ Oh you really dont have to, not all of us quite got that, we will rehearse that again tommorow. We woke up at 6:30 am today, lets get some rest, yeah?” “ No, I really want to master that one move”

At this point mostly everyone had gathered up next to the youngest one in the group. “Innie, lets get food, Im so hungry!” “Who cares about that move, youll get it tommorow” “Even I didnt get it, dont worry, Innie!” Jeongin was fed up. Why did he have to get all this attention when he simply wanted to stay a little more after practice? “I SAID I WANTED TO MASTER JUST THIS ONE MOVE! Please, is it that hard to get?!” Everyone suddenly got quiet. Everybody but Chan left. “That was totally uncalled for, Jeongin! We were just-“ “Looking out for me? Being careful? Wanted the best for me? Jeez! Can I get a break from YOU. You always treat me like a baby! Well guess what, Im an adult now and make my own decisions. I dont want anyone, especially you Chan, constantly babying me and treating me like Im some child who cant make disicions of his own. Now go eat your ramen, Im not even hungry anymore. Im going back to the dorms. See you later.”

After that happened, we gave Jeongin less attention and treated him more like an adult. He had had multiple outbursts like this, but this one made things clear. However, I just think that he was tired and hungry, not necessarily angry. Maybe he just needed to let some emotions out, and needed a decent reason to do so.

Anyway, I think that he liked and still likes the attention, that we obviously dont give him anymore. Which is upsetting and frustrating, seeing our maknae so sad. Even though he said that he hates the attention that we give him, I can see him sulking, especially when we have fun and leave him out. I can tell that the boys aren’t doing it on purpose, theyre just doing what he wanted. But I can tell how much Innie misses being the little baby of the group.

Suddenly, I felt I.N. start moving around and wake up. “Hi Chan Hyung.” “Hello, Innie-ah” “Did I wake you up? I had a nightmare so I suspect I did… Sorry.” “It’s alright, I fell asleep in your bed when I was supposed to talk to you.” “What did you want to talk about, hyung?” I could tell by his voice that he was scared. “ Dont be afraid, its nothing bad.” “Oh. Well, tell me anyway” “Sorry if I offend you, but did you mean it? That you hate our attention and are sick of being babied? Because Ive been observing you and you dont seem any happier than when we treated you like our baby.” “Um… I guess I just feel more like an adult now.” “Do you like that?” I was met with silence. “Answer me Innie, please.” I.N. didnt seem like he was going to answer my question, so I decided to bring out the big guns. I had always known that our baby bread hated being tickled, but a little bit could never hurt. I gave him one last chance before diving in. At first I just pinned him down with both my arms. “Nohohoho, plehehease Channie Hyung!” he giggled in anticipation. “ One last chance, Jeongin~~ Do you acctually like it when we don’t give you attention? Or do you prefer to get babied like a little baby~~. Little baby bread…~~” I knew he couldn’t take any teases considering his red ears, face and neck. “Little I.N. baby bread, foxy baby cutie~” I lowered my face and whispered, pressing my lips against his neck. “Chahahahahnnie hyuAHAHAHA” he laughed harder as I nibbled and blew raspberries on his most vulnerable and ticklish spot. “ Answer my question or move to the next spot?” “Ahahnswer question, answer question! Pleheahase no more…!” “ Alright then, tell me, do you like being treated like the big adult you are?” “…Yes?” “Wrong!.” I yelled into his neck. “NOHOHOHO pleasepleasepleasechanniehyung listen to meee! You don’t have to do this, Im beggingbeggingbegging yoUHUHUUU” I pinned both his arms above his head and swiched to poking and squeezing his armpits. “CHAHAHAN PLEHEAHEHEASE LISTEN TO MEEEE! I HAHAHAHVE SOMETHIHIHING TO TELL TOU!!” “Oh yeah? Perhaps that youre so ticklish that you cant handle it?~” “ SERIUOSLY! SEHEHERIUOSLY PLEAEHEHESE!” I stoped for real this time. “Okay so you caught me. I do acctually like your attention and dont enjoy being treated like an adult as much as I thought I would, there, I said it!” “Please tell me what is true, not some lie you made up because you dont want to be tickled… I wont tickle you anymore, I promise!”

He promised he wouldnt tickle me. But oh, how much I wanted him to keep going… Curse my hyper sensitive body. “No, it is the truth, I have been a little upset lately” “Well, Im glad that you confessed to me. Can I tell the others?” “ Yeah, that would be great. Im too embarassed to tell them myself anyway…” “Alright then. Rest up! I hope I didnt tire you out much… Sorry for tickling you, I know that you hate it…” Now is the perfect time “Acctually, I have something else to tell you…” He fully turned his whole body to me. Goah, I hate him so much. Why has he got to put me in such vulnerable position? “ I… accualy, its nothing…” not today, not when hes got full attention on me like that. “NO! Tell me, pleaseeeee! Dont make me tickle it out of you again~~” That made me extra scared and all my courage was gone. “I-Its accualy about that…” “What? Tickling?” “Yeah…” “Sorry, I promised I wouldnt tickle you anymore. You dont have to tell me aswell, take your time.” Gosh, can he stop saying the word? Hes so sweet its annoying. “No, I-I want to tell you now. And it is about… T-tickling.” He did that thing again, where he turned his whole body and soul to me, it was scary. Seemed like he could hear my heartbeat. “Well, I… acctually dont hate it. I like it a lot. But I cant take it. And s-sometimes youre a bit too rough.” “Oh…” “Sorry, you probably think Im disgusting or something. I promise its nothing dirty or naughty like your probably thi-“ “ No! None of that! Even though I wouldve never guessed that you like it… I dont find it disgusting, at all. Its cute, very cute acctually.” “You think so?” “Of course! Now, prepare yourself because you basically just asked to be tickled.” He definetly knew how much I dreaded that word and was taking advantage of it. “Beg.” “What?” “Beg to be wrecked by your favourite tickle monster.” At this point I was probably as red as a tomato. “P-please t…t-tickle me…” “Good enough” He lowered his head and started nibbling on my lower stomach and I lost it. He was beeing painfully gentle, probably remembering me pointing out his roughness. I grabbed on his hair and desperately pulled. “Ow ow ow ow OW! Innie, youre gonna have to keep your arms further away from me!” He grabbed my arms and pulled them to my sides.” Keep them there. Now, you understand that Im going to have to pusnish you, yeah?” “Buhuhut I cant keep my arms there!” “I dont care, if you dont, Ill be more gentle” I liked it gentle, but not too gentle, and Gosh did Chan know how to get extra gentle. It would be so painful, worse than rough tickles, which says a lot. So, I try to keep my arms in place as he nibbles the sensitive skin on my abdomen.

He was doing pretty good, too good at holding his arms in place, giggling hysterically, but keeping himself pretty still. “CHAHAHAHAHAN HYUHUHUUHNG PLEHEHEHEHAHEHHEAHSE” He begged and grabbed my hair again. Succes. Raspberries always get him. “Oh no! Was I being too rough? I should be more gentle, yeah? Thats ok, Ill be more gentle~” I loved teasing Innie so much, he would always get so red and shy. I knew I was being mean, taking advange of his weaknesa- rought tickles and using againts him, but in a much more flustering way. He hates rough tickle because he cant take much of them, but extremely gentle tickles are much more agonazing — its just constant anticipation and fear. I start off incredibly gently right in the middle of his stomach “Chahahaniehehe pleheheahahse!” I gently drag my finger around his navel, never bothering to acctually dip it in. I know how much he hates(loves) it. I slowly drag my finger along his side and onto his ribs “ChahaAHAnieEHEhe hyUHUHuhung” He giggles more agressively as I gently poke my finger deeper into his flesh every few seconds. I know how much hes waiting for me to just wreck him. Ive been saving up his energy for the grand finale. “Ready I.N?” “YEHEHES please!” I poke him a couple more times before finnaly diving in. “OHOHOHO MAHAHA GOHOHOD CHAHAHAANA AHAHHAHSNSBA” I start by squeezing his sides rapidly. I switch spots quickly purely for his enjoyment. “CHAHAHAHAN!!” “ Yes, Innie baby bread?~” I ask as I count his ribs, while he desperately tries to stop his arms from disturbing me “GEHEHEHET MY LEHEHEGSS HAHAHA” I can tell that he cant take it for much longer, thats why wants me to switch spots quickly. His thighs are incredibly sensitive, so I start of with them, mercilessly squeezing the firm mucle behind his leg and the front of it, switching quickly so that he can expierience as much joy as quickly as he can. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA KNEHEHEHHES PLEAAAHSHEJDJJEJHA” I quickly listen to his command and rapidly attack his kneecaps, squeezing the top and back at the same time. “STOPSTOPSTOP ENOUGHAHAHAHAHAH” I inmeadiately stop and gently, but not gently enought to torture him rub his whole body. His cute dimply smile plastered on his face that I missed so much. “Anytime you want to repeat this, just tell me the keyword “tickle”, if youre capable of that~~” He was still laying there, panting, but I could see his cheeks reddening up at my words. “I will make sure to…” He whispers shyly. I figured that he may need a moment to think about what happened, so I quietly exited the room.

This was the most flustering yet enjoyable expierience ever. However if he dares to tell anyone about this…

Maybe it wouldnt be so bad, considering all the gang tickles I would get.

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This is my first tickle fic ever. I know the build up is very long, sorry. 🙂

[prager-lover]

Recom Prager x F!Recom!Reader

I got so damn bored also this is my first time writing for a Recom, i've been obsessed with them since I saw the second movie. Feel free to send me hc or fic ideas for the recoms cuz I love them so much.

When you cant find the fanfics you want, write em yourself

Content overview: Swearing, reader is straight/bisexual(says they like men, doesnt specify if they are straight or bi), cringe fluff, Prager being dumb (i love him), Prager being a little nerd that can't talk to women, awful writing get over it this is self indulgent

Word count? Dont know. A lot. Ignore how bad my writing is

Pandora, twenty years later.

Being woken up in this new big blue body kind of threw you for a loop. Years ago, we were fighting these giants and now you were them. What the fuck. The first face you saw was Lopez and Christ Almighty he was the wrong person to see. All up in your face, the blue Latino was yelling, probably running off an adrenaline high.

"AYE COÑO WAKE UP"

Prompting you to shove him away and jump off the gurney, backing into a corner. Other large blue bodies closed in on you, yelling to calm down. You took the time to realize they were Marines. Your friends. You calmed down when one of the Na'vi that looked alot like your old friend Ja started talking. He started explaining that you guys were recoms, you'd died and now you're back.

Well Shit.

Y/N's Pov

It's been a few months since I woke up as a Recom. Thankfully, everyone seems to have adjusted. Lyle is still an idiot, flirting with every breathing thing at Hellsgate (Im pretty sure hes even tried making passes at the Colonel). Being in this new body is actually pretty cool once you get used to it. The stripes and shit look awesome. Besides, the improved strength is nothing to sneeze at. When we're not out trying to find Sully, I spend almost every free minute in the gym, or at least outside trying to do something active, any chance to be around my friends. I'm glad Ja is here, back when we were humans, he was my damn rock. Always there with a joke and a smile, it's nice to be so comfortable with someone, considering theres only a few of us recoms. Everyone else on base is either a scientist trying to probe me, or some puny human that jumps a mile high when I go in a room. Tiresome.

There is a new guy though, Prager. He was in the room when I woke up, wide eyed and ready to hold me back if it was needed. Not so good for first impressions. Ja gave us a formal introduction afterwards. Apparently him, Brown, and Ja were pretty good friends. His facial features did look kind of familiar, I probably saw him around base a few times. I can't lie, he was kind of striking. In a weird way. He looked so tired all the time. We got to talking, and eventually became friends as well. He was reallyyy into working out. It was kind of obvious, Jesus his muscles were big. Kind of muscles that you just wanna smack. It started with us running into each other at the gym, polite "Heys" and "How're you?" but after a while we started working out together. He'd spot me on the bench, making it kind of hard to concentrate when he's standing right on top of me. Almost dropped the weight a few times. We'd hang out together for a little bit, going outside on the basketball courts and watch animals flying around, and sometimes when it would be near eclipse, we'd stay and watch. We'd both be hungry, and sometimes he'd forget a snack so I'd bring extra protein bars I snuck from the mess hall. Sometimes when he'd turn away I'd look at him. He was pretty, especially in this lighting. Very soft and relaxed, unlike when we were on missions. When it was just us, no Ja or Lopez coming around the corner to tackle him, he'd let his face fall or just close his eyes. Call me delusional, but I swear he did the same to me. I'd turn my head around and catch him quickly turning, light purple blush spreading across his cheeks. Cute.

3rd person Pov

"Hey, Y/n, wait up!"

Y/n turned around, smiling when she saw Prager jogging towards her, green headband ties swaying behind him.

"Damn girly, what happened to waiting for eachother?" He said, feigning hurt while slightly out of breath.

"Sorry man, maybe you're just too slow. Pick up the pace." She joked, lightly punching his bicep, being met with pure muscle. God Damn. He wont admit it, but that touch sent butterflies right to his stomach. He'd been harbouring this crush on Y/n for months now, and everyday it seemed like it went deeper. Ja would groan loudly when Prager brought up y/n for what seemed the thousandth time that day.

"Just stop being a pussy and ask. her. OUT." He'd say, enunciating the last 3 words with smacks on Prager's head.

"I know but what if she says no, I'd rather get trampled by a direhorse." He lamented, throwing himself onto a bunk like a melodramatic Disney princess. Ja just decides to give up.

Y/n and Prager started their typical workout routine, stretching, muscle building, then cardio if they could bear to look at a treadmill or bike. They didnt talk much during their workouts, mostly shared smiles or raised eyebrows. It was late now, the workout was probably 3, 3.5 hours. Too long. They left the facility, heading out to the basketball courts to cool down.

Y/n's Pov

Fuck. Too long. Way too fuckin long for a workout. I should be used to it at this point, i'm a damn marine but it was too much weight for too many reps. I think Prager feels the same way. Everything feels too light in my hands, the dumb bells ghost weight still pulling my arms down. One upside, Prager still somehow looked good. I'm not sure how its possible but the man just looks handsome without trying. Pisses me off to a point, he probably doesnt realize how good he looks to me right now. Asshole.

We stopped in our tracks and flopped to the ground.

"Fuck almighty." He groans out, sprawled out on the concrete, tail flicking lazily next to him.

"Yeah, you're telling me." I say, sitting down next to him. "It's gonna be a pain in the ass to get up tomorrow."

We sit in silence for a while, just soaking in the fresh and cool air. Thats the beauty of Pandora, all this beautiful scenery, nature preserved and fresh air not polluted by billions of people over-populating the planet. Sometimes I don't like what we're doing here. General Ardmore, all the other humans. We're going to fuck up this planet, just like we did our original one. Prager must have noticed my shift in mood, my tail flicking around, agitated. He sat up on his elbows looking at me.

"You alright there?" He asked, big ol eyes looking up at me. I was knocked out of my trance.

"Yeah i'm good, just thinkin'."

He was about to reply when a loud laugh erupted from the side. There was Lyle, hands on his knees while Z-dog was wiping tears from her eyes. Of course. Those guys were inseparable. And insufferable. Lyle would always be giggling about some stupid shit. I love that bald bastard but when you're trying to unwind it can get on your nerves. Prager and I shared a look. Yeah, he knew. We both started laughing, somehow our two voices still overpowered by Lyle's hacking guffaw across the courtyard. We watched them walk off, Z-dog clapping his back.

"Do you think they have something going on?" Prager asks me. I was taken aback. He said it so nonchalantly, but I never would have thought he was one for gossip.

I chuckled as I answered. " I really doubt it, I think Z-dog's gay. Never seen a girl that looks like that without an ounce of fruit in her. Never knew you were a gossip queen Prag, didn't know you had it in you." I raised my eyebrow suspiciously at him. He threw his head back laughing softly, his Adam's apple withing perfect striking distance. Why did I think about that. We were quiet for a few seconds. when suddenly;

"Are you gay?" He was looking at me again. The question was so quiet I thought I misheard him for a second. Again, taken aback.

"Uh, no. No, I like guys."

He let out a breath of relief. "Oh thank god."

What the fuck. I started laughing. Loud, violent laughs as he quickly gets from his comfortable position, obviously panicking from what he just said.

"Wait wait wait no I- no no I didn't mean it- well I didn't mean it like that no no you got it all wrong." He was shaking his hands at me, cheeks blushing a deep purple. I was rolling on the fucking ground. my sides hurt from how hard I was laughing. I tried gaining composure, but his stupid handsome face was looking at me with a panicked face and I came undone again.

"did-didn't know you didn't agree with-" I hiccupped. "-that sort of lifestyle Prag." I was still giggling when he got louder.

"Wait wait NO I didn't mean it like- like that no no it's- no I have gay friends and stuff-" Again I lost it. His ears were pinned back against his skull, tail swishing adamantly behind him, pupils big.

"No no no no no no no I just meant it like I like you so I hoped you didn't like girls cuz that would suck cuz I like you and I don't want you to not like me..." He covered his face with his hands, mumbling after that sentence. What he said, I don't know but I think it was along the same lines. All that was replaying in my mind was " I like you"

Prager liked me? ME? I turn so I'm Infront of him, he's still babbling on and on, incoherent.

"Prager.."

"I'm sorry I don't know why I asked that-"

"Prager."

"I know I know I'm sorry I can just go I'm sorry I don't know I just got nervous I'm sorry."

Fucking Christ he was cute. I grabbed his wrists, yanking his hands away from his still blushing face.

"PRAGER."

He looks up to me so mopey, poor kitty cat with his ears drooping. I couldn't stop myself. I kissed his nose. That shut him up.

"Prager, I like you too."

He's looking at me with his mouth half open. Idiot. His hand reached for mine, holding me tightly.

"You do?" He sounded so small and helpless, like a kitten.

"Yes, you fucking dipshit" I said with a toothy grin.

His shoulders slumped over and he leaned into me, crushing me in a hug.

"Thank god oh my god you had no idea how long I've wanted to hear that thank GOD-"

I kissed his nose again. I'm finding this to be a very effective way of shutting him up.

"Maybe ask me out now instead of rambling."

He grinned at me. We left the courts a few minutes later, I reached to hold his hand and he took mine gladly. He dropped me off at my room.

"Night y/n, see you tomorrow." He beamed down at me, his ears perked up and tail moving quickly.

"Goodnight hotshot."

Prager scampered off. He felt like singing but he knew no one around would appreciate it, so he settled with whistling. The man wanted to fucking skip. It was obvious to Ja, who was playing cards with Brown and Lopez when Prager came in, that something good had happened.

"Prager? You alright man?" they all turned to look at him, his usually tired looking eyes bright and wide open.

"This guy on meth or something?" Lopez muttered.

"No no nothing like that I'm just a happy camper fellas."

Ja figured it out.

"No..."

"ohhh yes."

"NO."

"YES."

"YOU ASKED HER OUT?"

"FUCK YEAH."

Loud noises, Brown whooping and Lopez hitting Prager's back filled the room. Ja tousled up Prager's hair, laughing at his scaredy-cat friend's (Long overdue) courage. They made him stay up and tell them all the details.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Is this my best work? probably not. But I am both sleep deprived and Prager content deprived so let me live my life. I'm living for the recoms right now. tell me what y'all think bye have a nice day

[beautifulpersonpeach]

im so confused about that taekook pic. is jimin trolling? it's like he's toying with us? pls plss plss don't forget this ask bpp. pls answer my asks. i don't get why everything feels fake about jikook, tkk, jimin. is he even happy? it's like hybe is pulling the strings and trying to confuse jimin stans to frustrate us.

*

Ask 2:

At this point I just feel like we're getting played with lol. By who and for what? I don't know. But I've felt this way ever since we got photos/video that jimin did in fact get a cake for his solo and I'm sure big hit saw what the fandom was saying about him not getting one and they still waited to announce that he did.

BTS just isn't fun anymore for me rn. There's just this tension surrounding everything. And not just with shipping. It's fandom wide blatant favoritism. Shifting confusing narratives from the guys themselves (Jungkook claiming he's not trying to shy away from the maknae image when that's all he's been saying for months now???). Tae doing whatever it is that he's doing (bless his heart chile). Namjoon seems to be a mess rn, I wanna give him a hug, he speaks like life is kicking his ass. And our jiminie, I can't get a read on but he seems happy. And the other 3 being in the army so they're not causing trouble lol.

These taekook pics from jimin, hmmm idk, maybe it's his way of telling people he doesn't care about the backlash, and tae bringing jungkook up constantly, and we should back off.

It's all a mess. I never thought I'd long for the day we'd get a real break lol. I WANT to miss them.

I don't hate them. This is just exhausting. It's like them and the company are trying to be strategic with everything and it feels a bit disingenuous? Idk if that's the word. Maybe disconnected is more the word. And I know they've always been strategic in the things they do, so idk why this feels different to me.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble in your inbox lol

*

Ask 3:

Something feels wrong about suchwita. It feels forced. Am I the only one who feels Hybe is doing damage control with jikook to contain the fallout from Golden? BPP I'd like to hear what you think about vminkook's date, suchwita revealing the travel variety in context of all the controversies that happened lately. Does Jimin just not care about taekooker hate? He might be kind but he's still human.

*

Ask 4:

I give up on Jimin. Tired of stanning a grown man letting himself get played for a fool. Hybe, you won. Gloat away BPP. You and the rest of the OT7 cows win.

*

Ask 5:

BPP your asks about that RM - FACE credits controversy from Pjms reminded me of one debate I saw btw flat earthers and scientists. It's the most fascinating thing I've ever seen. The part that made me think of you is how flatearthers called the scientists uneducated, said they did their own calculations and made their own observations to arrive at fringe theories that disputed the wider consensus. I found it so strange how both scientists and flat earthers could observe the same thing but reach widely different conclusions. I know you've been going over and over with solos for some months so I hope this can make you laugh a bit BPP.

https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=Q7yvvq-9ytE

***

Hi Anon(s),

Lol, Anons in asks 1 through 4, why are you letting your minds torment you over things that should be obvious? Anon in ask 5, you sent me that ask last week, but it feels apt to post it now given the sort of asks I've gotten in the last few hours.

How many times can we go over the sort of conspiratorial thinking that plagues people who eventually become akgaes, thought patterns that have been shown several times this year to be completely misguided? If the only conclusion you can reach after everything we've seen in the last 10 months, after seeing Jikook, Taekook, Yoonmin, Vmin, and Yoonkook's conversations recently, is that 'someone' must be trying to pull a fast one on you, then maybe you should take a step back.

Honestly, in my opinion, you all fit the profile of people who should engage with k-pop very sparingly. Most times, I've observed these sort of views (also in the case of flat-earthers) are caused by gaps in foundational knowledge about the subject coupled with personal implicit biases. I see this happen all the time, and it's unfortunately the sorts of people who think like this who only get further sucked in, to the point they lose any semblance of a reference point. If you're still at the point you're asking these questions, especially Anon in ask 1, 2 and 3, there's still a chance. I'd suggest a clean break, a detox period, and very limited exposure going forward but starting from scratch and actually watching official content from the early years. A lot of people who joined the fandom post-2020 have only seen compilations and selected clips of BTS's formative years, and so they lack the background to better interpret everything that's happening in Chapter 2 - from why HYBE wouldn't respond to akgaes whining about cakes by posting it right away, to how vminkook have behaved throughout Chapter 2.

Listen to how you feel and please step back.

With flat earthers it's funny because in a bid to be skeptical, to 'question everything' so they aren't "played as a fool", they end up becoming just that. For most other people there's no joke, but for them the joke is always on them.

*

Thanks for the video, Anon in ask 5. But rather than make me laugh, it did the opposite. The conclusion of the video is that no flat-earther, not one, changed their minds after debating with the scientists. I had a theory that the people who end up as akgaes were always going to be that regardless of any arguments that run contrary to their beliefs, because at the heart of it, it's not about the arguments but about them. But I hoped I could be wrong. Extrapolating the conclusion of this video to my theory, the suggested implication is bleak as hell.

Anyway, stream Golden and enjoy jikook jikooking. Sounds like we're about to get a full calendar of content.

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Ehem…may i request some content on reader that draws (again) 🥺 kyojuro has really pretty eyes right? And so i wanna know what his response would be if reader mid sketching tells him that, and that they’d like to try and paint his eyes some time soon (as in ask him to be a model) 👀✨how would that conversation go?

a/n: im finALLY writing again- who knows how long this brain blast will last LOL - E im sorry this took so long!! thanks for being patient with me lol ;n;

-x-x-x-

it's become a very common occurrence that kyojuro is present during your downtime- whether than be reading, resting or indulging yourself in your hobbies

your hobby in art still fascinates him and entertains him

he really likes checking on your progress from time to time to see how you start and how you do things to get the end result

he's also verY supportive in your process- even if you say that you hate it even though youre not close to finishing, he makes sure you have enough encouragement to keep going!

kyojuro is 'trust the process personified and put through an amplifier

its in one of your sit-ins that he's reading a book that had been recommended to him through senjuro that you find yourself watching him instead of the other way around

instead of sitting in your art room, you were both sitting out on the engawa enjoying the weather with your sketchbook in your lap

you sketched whatever you saw, a tree, a flower, a patch of grass, a quick sketch of a bird before it flew away

it's getting later in the day and the golden hour is just around the corner of the clock

the golden hour is the best time of day for kyojuro- there was no question about it. it made him seem like a walking candle- burning brightly and lighting up whatever area he wander in

bring warmth with him along with his light

his eyes were the most brilliant of all like the burning wick of a candle that smolders and flickers with embers that fan it's own flames

he looks up from his reading momentarily to check on you beside him, maybe ask if he could see how far you've gotten in your sketching but was shocked to see you already looking at him

it wasn't like you to get distracted in the middle of a piece since you get so absorbed in your work

had something happened while he was distracted perhaps?

"Is something wrong, my dear?"

"you know," you start and his book gently closes, one of his fingers between the pages to keep his place while he offers you his undivided attention

"has anyone told you the sun looks good on you?"

he laughs at your compliment, and you don't even find it in you to be embarrassed because it was so very true

the sun did look good on him

tremendously good

"what brought that on?"

"it's just a fact," you tell him before using the back end of your pencil to move his hair around and open up the side of his face to show off his sideburns

the way your pencil cast a shadow over one of his eyes and left the other to glow in the early evening sunlight made you realize something

"i'd really love to paint your eyes kyojuro"

he says nothing as you start murmuring to yourself

"the way they still seem to glow even under a shadow, and this time of day is the perfect time for them to shine. they're such a pretty color too"

"you think my eyes are pretty?" he asks and of course, your flabbergasted that he could even think you didn't think that!

"obviously! not only are they pretty, they're emotional eyes. you can convery so many feelings through them without even speaking."

"i've never been told that before," he told you clearing his throat. "I must say, i am rather embarassed to hear you say so."

you laughed at him, leaning into his sholder as he ruffled at the hair you had previously been holding away from his face with your pencil

"thank you for saying so, my dear"

"i'm always willing to state the obvious- just for you though"

later on when it's far too dark to read or sketch anymore, you both head back inside and he stops you as you put away your sketchbook and pencil

the flickering candles and dim lighting of the indoors suits his eyes well too you can't help but notice

"do you really want to paint me- my eyes?"

"are you offering?" the way you said it with so much hope and excitement made him feel bashful in a new way he hadn't felt with anyone else

how could he ever turn you down when you seem so excited?

short answer: he couldn't

even shorter answer: why would he?

-x-x-x-

a/n pt.2 : i'm out of practice okAY

[colortracker]

hey, its me again, im back with a few more questions

i find it interesting that you distinguish pink and red, but not brown and orange. in my mind, the distinction between brown and orange is more important or obvious than red and pink. was this a conscious decision, and do you have a reason for this?

do you know why, or have a theory as to why, grey and gray are different to you? could you have been given this association at a young age? do you have synesthesia, so the spelling changes they color of the word? (i have synesthesia)

if you were given one of those optical illusions where two colors that are actually the same appear different, do you count those as different or the same? (so basically, is color more based on perception or reality? according to your last answer it seems like you make it up as you go, so i could see ruling them as different, but could also see ruling them as the same.)

as a treat for answering all these questions, would you like to hear about the pattern languages tend to follow when naming colors? you might find it interesting. but also if you dont wanna read me yapping you could also just google it - find the wikipedia for “color term”.

just saw this one, woohoo more qna!

it was a conscious decision. i see browns as just dark orange, mainly because you don't see brown as distinct on any color wheel. red and pink on the other hand are often separated, and i do see there being a distinct area between purple and red that cannot be just classified as variations of either, but instead actual pink

i may have synesthesia? i have a tendency to make color associations to a lot of things, but i'm not sure if it counts as synesthesia in any traditional way. basically anything comes with some sort of color attached to it if i think hard enough, so maybe? though it more likely just has to do with the fact that i see 'a' as a softer letter and 'e' as a sharper one, which causes gray to be lighter and grey to be darker.

this was a really fascinating question to think about. i believe i would count it as the same? though in cases like the infamous dress from 2017 i would mark it as both gray and yellow and blue and gray, since that's less of an optical illusion and more of just brains being fucky. a little off topic but wasn't the reason behind that that the lighting in the image was way too ambiguous, so our brains filled in the gaps and caused the colors to be different to different people? correct me if im wrong on that. anyways generally count them as the same, since they would be the same still if you colorpicked them.

oh i would love to :]

[zzombiecleo]

crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out

day 3! give it up for day 3!! im not actually sure if this counts as yuri but like whoops this is what youre getting. also, letting you know in advance that i am aromantic, just so you know. check out this story on ao3 and @mcyt-yuri-week.

fandom: life series smp characters: ldshadowlady, zombiecleo ship: ldshadowlady/zombiecleo, ldshadowlady~zombiecleo additional tags: aromantic ldshadowlady, pov second person, identity crisis, sexuality crisis, implied one-sided attraction, implied unrequited love, internalised arophobia, implied queerplatonic attraction, angst, hurt no comfort, drabble, mcyt yuri week summary: you are a woman with pink hair and hearts in your eyes called lizzie. you have a crush. stop complaining about made-up problems. --- mcyt valentines yuri week day 3: qpr/aromance

When you first noticed these feelings, you weren’t quite sure what was happening. See, you and Cleo had been friends for months by then and, well, you hadn’t felt anything like it before. You had dated people before but you never felt anything different for them than for your other friends. You just kinda assumed that’s what everyone felt and moved on. That everyone just had, kind of, collectively lied about what the correct feelings to feel for someone you love are. But then, you started questioning that because, well, Cleo was, and still very much is, adorable, and fabulous, and bloody annoying when she wants to be but you can’t help but want to be around her. It’s not the butterflies in your tummy feelings that you’d been chasing for so long but it wasn’t the same thing you feel with your friends or with any of your exes.

So you took a step back for a bit. You could tell that Cleo noticed, that look on her face whenever they noticed you during group hangouts was proof enough. You just didn’t understand what was happening. Every time you thought about explaining it to someone you started feeling like an idiot. What were you meant to say, “I think Cleo is adorable, and funny, and wonderful. I want to be around her constantly. But also I have this sickly feeling in my bloody gut that I don’t actually want to date her despite all that.”? It sounded so bloody silly whenever you thought about talking about it. Yet, no matter what, you couldn’t quite shake it. This all encompassing feeling that occurred whenever you dated someone or even thought about dating someone. It felt like sludge being poured down your back, thick and heavy and cold, sending shivers down your back, or like someone dragging their nails down a bloody chalkboard right next to your ear.

And then. Then, you finally find it. You can’t even remember where at this point. Just one little word. It changed everything for you. Aromantic. You had never heard of it before but you read it and well. It didn’t click instantly. Life is more difficult than that but the more you read the more you were convinced. It sounded right! It seemed to explain everything and yet, something was still wrong. Because it explained approximately nothing about Cleo. Nothing about the way you felt whenever they so much as smiled at you. The way you thought Cleo was bloody wonderful and no matter how many times she admitted to arson or attempted murder or whatever other crime they may or may not have committed, you couldn’t stop thinking that she was the most beautiful person you’ve ever met.

So, you suffered in silence for another month, two. Fruitless Google searches and eye contact between the two of you that lasted a little too long. Your friends started catching on, started egging you on, but everytime they joked about your “obvious crush” you felt like crying. Or screaming. Or committing a violent murder! But you didn’t know what to say, how to paraphrase the churning in your gut into something more palatable. Whenever blummin’ Joel teased you for it or bloody Scott encouraged you to “go for it! You would be so cute together!”, you felt like banging your head against a wall. How do you say that the thing you’re feeling looks like love, sounds like love, and talks like love, but that calling it love makes you feel very not cute?! How do you explain to someone who looks at you and sees someone who should like romance, what with the pink and the hearts and the everything, and tell them that even when you did date people it always felt like ants under your skin and tension in your shoulders?

You don’t. That’s the answer. You don’t explain. Why should you? Clearly you’re not aromantic if you still feel like this, right? Who cares if now that you know that aromanticism is a thing you suddenly have a bone to pick with the idea of romance, of kissing, of bloody anything? Maybe you just need to try harder, smile wider, giggle louder, learn to blush on command.

Maybe, just maybe, if you actually ask her out, all of this will just go away and you’ll suddenly realise “oh my gosh, this is what I yearned for all along!” and you two can ride off into the sunset together. It’ll be fine, all you need to do is take that first step and set up a date and you’ll stop feeling so alienated by everything. It will all finally be fine. Maybe if you say it enough, you and Cleo will work out. Maybe.