#odysseus is literally such an asshole when he wants to be

[amazingmsme]

This fic is gonna kill you guys

Trust me, I should know. I’m writing it with one foot in the grave as we speak

[seemyshadows]

I have so many thoughts about the thunder saga

The sirens, hell yes, is that what Odysseus sounds like flirting? Awesome. I want more.

Im all for ruthlessness by killing the Sirens, because that IS a lesson he has learned. But cutting off their tails and letting them drown instead of just slitting their throats, a slow painful death (that is more work to execute, lbr) instead of a quick one? Thats cruelty, not ruthlessness

His men are all for it though, they are still perfectly loyal here despite this, they actually say it here

He is a different beast now he is the one who feasts now

No more of us deceased, 'cause he won't take more suffering from you

Aka hes a monster and he fights for us, so we wont die anymore. They say it about themselves too, but this is really about how they trust Odysseus to lead them on the monsterous path, they didnt make the becoming a monster decision for themselves

Then how quick they turn around when he is in fact as ruthless as they want him to be, and I dare say in scylla and mutiny there are actually THREE betrayals to Odysseus: the admission with the wind bag, the literal backstabbing, and the direct disobeying of orders in killing the cows. Only to fall back in line when things get dangerous again. Loyalty is a fickle beast too it seems

And finally Zeus. As in, the most prideful dick of them all monologues at them how pride breaks their necks without actually telling them why hes there, gets all creepy rapey and then has the nerve to say choose in the sweetest, kindest voice possible. Beautiful Song, awesome voice, incredible animatics. I hate that asshole sooo much

As if Odysseus didnt learn his lesson about pride when he told the cyclops his full name.

[dootznbootz]

Hiiiiiii I just saw the character ask thing :))))

Can you tell me about your NOTP, random headcanon and unpopular opinion about Helen of Sparta?

Thank you so much!!!

I'll save the one that'll get me crucified last! 👍

Random headcanon: Both Odysseus and Penelope were given a "photographic memory" by Athena. When Athena had "forsaken" Odysseus it was taken away. Makes it nice because a lot of the more fucked up parts of the Odyssey are a bit more "fuzzy" for him. And he hates feeling "so out of sorts". He gets it back though.

Also Athena technically took Penelope under her "wing" like, one month before Odysseus.

Unpopular Helen Opinion: In MY FICS, (It's okay if you don't agree!) She is built like Rose Quartz from Steven Universe. She doesn't have a perfect "hourglass figure". She's got some pudge on her tummy. Girl is TALL (Demigod) and CHUBBY. One of the important components of Helen and Menelaus' relationship is that they are both strong enough to lift each other. Also she's the most beautiful woman in the world and chubby women are hot af lskdjf She also SUCKS at singing. She's good at wrestling and spear work. (Sparta. I also love athletic women. Plenty of chubby women are also athletic af. If you think otherwise, literally look up women's Olympic sports participants.)

Homies, know that my NOTP can be YOUR OTP and that's okay! We can still love each other and be friends! Ignore the rest if you just don't want to see that, but know that while it kind of will be in my fics, it's probably not in the way you want it to be.

Please don't hate me and know I don't hate you or think I'm "correct"!

It's OdyDio.

These are the reasons why so avoid them if you don't want to read that! :'D This is the only time I will ever be on the "Odysseus hate train" because he's such an asshole to Diomedes.

I feel so bad about it. 😭 I'm a freak who likes Odysseus/Menelaus (Big BROTP) I think it's because Odysseus is just... SO MEAN to Diomedes. And when he's not mean, he's just neutral. There is not really any "Diomedes, you're the best guy!". Especially when have Sthenelus and Diomedes saying I love you to each other To ME, they are like co-workers who work GREAT together on the battlefield and on missions, but never do anything outside of that.

When Diomedes asks for help, Odysseus sprints away from battle. When Diomedes compliments him before the night raid, Odysseus literally is like "Dude, you're not the only person who knows I'm good at stealing. Let's go."

Odysseus, that long-suffering, godlike man, replied: “Son of Tydeus, don’t over-praise me, or censure me. You’re speaking to the Argives,                           who know everything about me. Let’s go. Night is passing quickly. Dawn approaches. The stars have shifted forward. Most of the night                   has passed, two thirds of it, with one third left.”

(Ian Johnston, Book 10)

Odysseus is an asshole but he's still so mean to Diomedes! 😭 ESPECIALLY WHEN DIOMEDES IS SO FUCKING NICE TO ODYSSEUS!!! I know that's what probably makes them so compelling to so many lovely folks but I love fluff BECAUSE I'm so tired of toxic relationships irl. I don't...I don't see how I can make OdyDio fluffy 😥 With OdyDio, I feel like I'm watching my bestie (Diomedes) get back with their toxic ex who mistreats them (Odysseus). Diomedes is actually quite polite to the others. Even when Agamemnon scolds him, he tells Sthenelus to think nothing of it. He compliments Odysseus! He listens to the gods when they tell him "Hey stop fighting!" and listens to Athena! Like he's violent and a killing machine but he's respectful! He's a traumatized, respectful, killing machine! He bitches at Paris but everyone has done that! That's something everyone partakes in /j

It bothers me even more because when Odysseus is with Penelope, he's so wonderful and loving? And that the Odyssey, literally Odysseus' story/Epic, doesn't even really mention Diomedes? That goes to show how little Diomedes means to Odysseus.

And since Odysseus runs away from Diomedes when he asks for help, it boggles my mind that books earlier, he goes into a rage when his friend gets killed!

[...]but hit Leucus, a brave companion of Odysseus, in the groin,                                           as he was dragging Simoeisius away. His hands let go. He fell down on the corpse. Enraged at Leucus’ slaughter, Odysseus strode up, through the front ranks, armed in gleaming bronze. Going in close, he took his stand. Looking round, he hurled his glittering spear. As he threw, Trojans moved back, but the spear found a mark. It hit Democoön, Priam’s bastard son, who had come from Abydos, where he bred horses for their speed.                                    Angry for his friend, Odysseus speared him in the temple.

(Ian Johnston, Book 4)

Odysseus, you prick!!! You go on a rampage when your buddy gets killed but sprint away when your STILL ALIVE BUDDY asks you for help?! ASSHOLE

They ARE kind of friends/frenemies during the end of the war but it's a weird thing where Diomedes cares about Odysseus but Odysseus tolerates him. Like he left him to die. I love Odysseus. He's my special little guy but he treats Diomedes, another special little guy, like shit 😞

They also have a fairly large agegap, (Odysseus being one of the older kings while Diomedes is the youngest. If you bring up pederasty, you will be smited.) and have very little in common other than them both being Athena's pets. Odysseus is a fucked up lil warrior trickster who loves his wife and child more than life itself while Diomedes is a young child soldier boy who is incredibly duty bound and war is where he feels most comfortable.

Also just...Most of anything about OdyDio (fanart/fanfic/etc.) it's of them fighting or bickering or betraying each other or being very sexual. Even OdyPenDio STILL feels very "OdyDio... + Penelope in the footnotes". I already plan to write Odysseus (and Penelope) as Aspec CODED and so I...just really don't care for that??? There's barely ANYTHING of them being soft. BECAUSE THEM TWO TOGETHER just aren't soft... I personally don't like couples that are mean to each other 😭 (I'm not even including the whole "betrayal with the Pallidium" because it makes me sad to think about. I don't consider it canon.)

Menelaus though?

I have plans 😌 These two bring me comfort and are a special brotp

[justmenoworries]

You know who I don't see people hate enough on for the whole Bag of Winds disaster?

Aeolus.

This bitch was over here deliberately setting Odysseus up to fail and then being smug about it when he did (largely thanks to them manipulating his crew).

Like "Oh, you want a little help getting home? Here, have this bag containing the extremely dangerous storm that was blocking your way. I mean I could keep it here with me and just wait until you're out of its reach to release it, but nah. Also, lemme just rile your entire crew up against you by having my servants tell them that there's treasure in the bag. Ooops, your crew opened the bag? Sucks to be you, literally all you had to do was not open it, tee-hee, have fun with the giants"

Words cannot describe how much I loathe Aeolus, their song slaps but I wanna punt this little asshole into the sun so bad.

[giggly-moon]

jumping onto the epic the musical oc train with my own babygirl Melia <3

- a seer along with a daughter of apollo, she inherited some of his powers surrounding prophecies, healing, light and music. she joins the crew a little bit after the war and some time after she escaped a shitty abusive arranged marriage (with a little bit of husband murdering), sneaking onto their ship and only revealing herself after they’ve already set out to sea again and now they’re stuck with her

- at first it’s hard for them to believe she’s actually a seer, because she does not at all act like you’d expect a seer to act. she’s too much of a coy, mischievous little troublemaker to be an all-knowing seer, right? nope.

- another thing she’s inherited from her father is that she’s very good with her words and knows how to use them to her advantage. she’s a very good liar and actor and will sweet talk whoever she can to get what she wants, acting all sweet and innocent to hide the fact that she’s actually little gremlin. she’s a tad manipulative but she never does it in a malicious way, it’s all about survival, baby.

- that being said, she also has some pretty bad trust and vulnerability issues. she’s practiced her whole life to hide what she’s really feeling or thinking, masking it with her smug and unbothered attitude. her acting skills are more of a defense mechanism.

- i feel like she and elpenor would have quite a bit in common, since elpenor joined the war at a very young age and melia was married off to some asshole at a very young age as well. so they both kinda feel like their childhoods were stolen from them and they never got to truly experience being a kid.

- the name melia means “honey”, which i initially chose just because i thought it was cute but now i think it could definitely be a reference to the way she acts all sweet and warm, like honey. but it’s also a huge inspiration for her color scheme, how she has a lot of the same colors as her father but her overall color palette would have more darker colors, consisting of colors like browns, oranges, and gold/yellows

- “honey” can also be used as a lil nickname for her

- she’s able to sense things relating to energies and spirits, and can pick up on the god’s powers and influence over things. like being able to immediately sense that odysseus is a warrior of athena. she’s also able to sense when danger is near

- due to her father being a god of music, certain energies that she picks up on can actually sound like music to her. like how in epic everyone has their own instrument or melodic motif, to her everyone’s energy or aura has a unique “song” to it if she pays enough attention to it. and like i said she can sense when danger is near, as in she can literally hear the danger motif in a sense.

- she may be a seer but she’s still pretty inexperienced with interpreting prophecies. smaller ones tend to be more straightforward, but big important ones can be very vague and overwhelming and full of metaphors and whatnot, a lot of her bigger prophecies she receives in her dreams and dreams tend to be rather confusing.

- she has these sun related markings all around her body that normally look like they’re just a somewhat darker shade than her actual skin tone, but when she uses her powers like receiving a big prophecy or healing someone then they all glow a soft golden color

- she’s not much of a fighter, she relies more on her words and her charm rather than physical strength or combat skills, but i feel like she would naturally be very swift and graceful and light on her feet. she’s also a very good dancer

- she and apollo don’t really have the closest relationship, but they do love each other and apollo tries his best to connect with her when he can, but she’s got too many walls built up so he’s often left unsure on how to get through them. she and hermes are pretty close though, he is her uncle after all and they have a very similar penchant for mischief and trickery, so he checks in on her quite often and he even aided her in the task of killing her husband.

- she does have her softer moments when she’s alone with someone (maybe even multiple people) that she trusts and feels comfortable with, where she lets the mask slip and some of her more genuine feelings start showing through. and when she’s close enough with someone then she’s very physically affectionate

- when it comes to tickling, she is a force to be reckoned with. she may look small and harmless and like she wouldn’t be able to win very many tickle fights, but what she lacks in strength she makes up for in being smart and crafty.

- plus she is an evil teaser, she just searches for whatever type of teases will be the most effective on someone and when she does she is absolutely ruthless.

- she’s also very good at convincing people to help her get revenge on someone (or just wreck someone for no particular reason), either by blackmailing them or pulling out the puppy eyes, especially when it comes to someone who would be rather difficult for her to take down on her own.

- she’s usually down for helping someone else wreck someone as well, granted that it won’t obviously come back to bite her. she just loves the mischief

- one of her favorite things to do is to tickle someone and pretend that it was an accident, she thinks it’s so funny how they get all frustrated trying to call her out on it

- she honestly managed to keep her own ticklishness a secret from the others for an impressive amount of time, mostly because when she first met them she made sure she gave the impression that she was not one to be messed with. but as she warmed up to them and they warmed up to her they quickly found out just how not intimidating she actually is.

- she honestly prefers being on the giving end where she has at least some control over the situation, but as time goes on she starts realizing more and more that being on the receiving end isn’t so bad either. she doesn’t like being vulnerable in front of others, but in this case it’s a kinda good type of vulnerable yknow? so she warms up to it rather quickly

- that doesn’t mean she won’t put up a fight though, cause she absolutely will. she’s still a huge tease whether she’s the lee or the ler, constantly taunting you and trying to make you falter and get any kind of reaction out of you. as always if she can’t gain the upper hand physically then she’ll use her words instead.

- she’s not the easiest to fluster, as she’s taught herself to hide her emotions pretty damn well, but it isn’t impossible to get that shell to crack.

- something new that she discovered about herself is that the markings on her skin that glow when she uses her powers will also glow when she genuinely laughs, which is something that she finds particularly embarrassing. the markings are also extra ticklish, no matter what part of the body they’re on

- she’s very ticklish pretty much everywhere but her worst spots would probably be her ribs, sides and neck

[larrikin-is-a-himbo]

My friend reading The Song of Achilles: A Journey

Aight let's get this over with

2 pages in and already daddy issues and a drunk mom

I'm not gonna survive this book

No but like already this asshole is hating on both his son and mentally ill wife

Dude this guy is an idiot

I relate so hard to Patroclus

Baby's first murder

Oh Oh So this is how it is

Aw, they're so cute

Holy shit she just straight up told Patroclus he'll be dead soon

They kissed 💙

Oh shit

I'm really into this book so far Chiron is the real MVP so far

I couldn't stop smiling They are so cute

I was a little bit shocked Cause I just finished the part where they were, um, making out

I'm just happy they were happy Not for long tho, that's why I only read a few pages at a time I want happiness to last as long as it can

Achilles said the reason he will be both a hero and happy is Patroclus and I asdfghj

HE CALLED HIMSELF THE SON OF CHIRON I'M IN SHAMBLES

Yo I am in shock Absolutely dumbfounded Completely shattered

"I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world." Yo my fucking heart I can't take this

Lycomedes is also an MVP

I had Odysseus and Diomedes for only one page, but I love their dynamic already

Sneaky bitches

"Why should I kill him? He's done nothing to me." When I tell you my heart fell

"I did not plan to live after he was gone" P L E A S E

I'm at the point where there's no wind

So I assume they'll sacrifice Iphigenia

Wow I don't know how to feel about Odysseus anymore

Page 235, the war actually started

If I was in Achilles' place, I would've let the mob slash Agamemnon to smitherins

You know I would totally be down with a poly relationship between Pat, Achilles and Briseis

Agamemnon, you stupid fucking bitch

Now they're taking away Briseis

And I'm this close to just use all my rage to travel through time and space and everything to fucking bitch slap Agamemnon so hard he lands on the other side of the Trojan wall

Pat casually slit his wrist in front of Agamemnon

Buddy That was a bit dramatic

But he is 100% rightfully pissed at Achilles at this moment

Y I K E S This conversation is going to hurt me more than the knife did Patroclus' wrist

I'm getting nervous

ACHILLES WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO WHAT DO YOU MEAN "Don't say that until you've heard the rest of what I've done"

Achilles, honey, I love you so much, but asking your mom to ask Zeus to turn against your side of the army out of pettiness is a biiiiiit too much

"HE'S HALF OF MY SOUL, AS THE POETS SAY" I CAN'T

We're getting close to the moment I fear They are at the duels or I don't know what they're called in English Paris disappeared from the battlefield, now Ajax and Hector ended in a tie

It's so sad reading Patroclus' reactions How he said he knows the victims, or, well, knew That line hit hard honestly

ACHILLES P L E A S E

PAT IS CRYING AND I'M LITERALLY MOMENTS AWAY FROM CRYING TOO

NOT THE OUTFIT SWAP

I'M MILDLY SHAKING

APOLLO YOU BITCH

NOOOOOOOOOOO He's dead And I know it only gets worse from here

HE TRIES TO KILL HIMSELF KC

Briseis, honey, I know you're upset too, but now is not the time Just because you're partially right

I don't want to call Thetis a bitch Because I partially understand her feelings and Who am I kidding She's a B I T C H

I'M ABOUT TO THROW HANDS WITH A 12 YEAR OKD

BRISEIS NOOOOOOOOOOO

LITTLE FUCKER IS DEAD 🍾

"I am made of memories" P L E A S E

I'm not fine

"Go," She says. "He waits for you." In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood like a hundred golden urns pouring out of the sun. I am Devastated Absolutely hurt Everything is pain But they're together Finally I need a few hours after this What a way to end the year

[coolbeansbuddyofmine]

⭐

@sunsoothed knows i love talking about my fic writing process <33333 (ty babey)

so let's talk about my beloved sherlock au. i could talk about this for ages and hours but i'll keep my words relatively limited because i'm aware of the paragraphs readers have to read in my notes because i ramble so much.

shall we begin then,

main storyarc - with 13 episodes; i had originally planned these many episodes because a) that's what the tv show has, and b) i love the number 13. now, dont get me wrong, im not a particularly religious or superstitious person at all and i certainly dont believe in numerology, but i think 13 is just very pretty and holds lots of connotations for me in my rl. (fun fact: my sister was born on a friday the 13th. is that why she's such a terror? /j)

chayoung began at the age of 25-26 ish, with vincenzo being canonically 4 years older (as the age different between sjk and jyb is irl), and so far we've gone through almost 6 years with them together as a crime-solving couple together eventually. she begins on a very difficult part of her life where her father's died recently, his law firm literally lies in ruins as the building as bulldozed for redevelopment and eventual class-based gentrification, and she's now in this new city with a new therapist. difficult, right? yeah, i think so too. a lot of her own mental health struggles are based on my own with tw (depression, anxiety, bipolar, and suicide ideation - all of which are things i've struggled with and continue to struggle with but it's getting better). chayoung in this is a very personal character to me, and while a lot of her personality and history certainly is adapted from canon, i've added my own personal nuances (mostly in regards to her motivations and mental health connecting it to what i know) based on what i felt original canon was lacking. she's struggling initially yes, and the cohabitation, support she gets from vincenzo aids that lack of slow burn, and she falls for him very fast (and him too) but then ofc as any other couple does, they have their own disagreements and fights. the important thing is that they do work through them. by chapter 12, without spoiling too much, she's in a much better place mentally but the abandonment issues are still invariably at work, and there's quite a lot of internalized trauma in both vincenzo and chayoung from their countless high-profile cases (i.e. jang hanseok who is moriarty equivalent)

now, we move on to vincenzo. like the original sherlock and even vincenzo occasionally in canon, he can be an asshole, a fancy prick, and a shithead. he knows that, she knows that, i know that, and i hope the readers can also discern that. in canon, while vincenzo was very sly, cunning (the classics student in me wants to compare him to athena favourite, the wily odysseus in fact and considering what happens in chapter 6, you can certainly argue that chayoung is his penelope- his ithaca), he used people for his/their/a certain benefit. he helped lots of people out, sure, but that doesn't detract from the fact he did use people and often times, there was a sly transaction. think of sherlock! vincenzo as like that but he begins with a distinctly low EQ, though he can certainly be manipulative when he feels like it. this is a retired mafia man, who's lazy and likes to spend his "retirement" solving crime cases. and yeah eventually this asshole does understand what it's like to directly really care for one's own family and he has a whole circle that he's very very protective about (obviously this includes chayoung).

for me, i really wanted to highlight the found family trope for both vincenzo and chayoung and that's why you have the eventual introduction of the geumga plaza tenants, luca, hanseo, paolo, mr. cho, mr. ahn and various other people that are recurring throughout the entire text. yes, they do have some family members by blood, but they have made their own family with people who are equivalent to their family of blood. blood of the covenant is stronger than the blood of one's own but not as direct.

now, i'll briefly explain the 3 other short parts i've written in addition to the main story. part 2 was a pwp smut - i wrote it at 3 am, nuff said. part 3 was because i found this old deleted scene i had written and i really liked it, but it was entirely filler and contributed nothing to the original plot when i wrote it but rather just added to the word count. so i had archived it, and tbh, it still wouldnt fit anywhere in the story but i quite liked it, so i published it. and then there were more plot ideas that ranged from fully written to partial written to simply prompts. tbh at this point ive run out, so if people want more they're gonna have to prompt me and i'll get to them eventually. part 4 falls under the same explanation as part 3, so i wont repeat it again.

now finally, the finale chapter 13 yeah, i've started writing it and i'll definitely be publishing this weekend. im quite sad about leaving this au which is over 300 pages for the main doc, and if we add the other parts it'll be like 350 pages ish. the point is it's long, and the whole universe is already over 100k. correct me if i'm wrong, but that's the longest chayenzo alternate universe storyline in the entire fandom - so yeah, im more than a little attached to it. but its bittersweet bc this means ill have more time to focus on my other wips (if you've made reading through it this far - i'll tell you i have a mulan au im half-way through and a secret au that'll be out eventually) and yeah i have to work on hogwarts and other stuff for other fandoms PLUS COLLEGE. so im quite a busy woman, and sherlock was this absolutely amazing journey i went on over this summer, and this au was wonderful to work on. i think a part of the sherlock! vcy will always live in me, and if, IF, we get series 5 of Sherlock, i promise i'll come back and write 3-4 chapters within that series. i will do it, no matter what.

thank you for reading through this!! i hope you enjoyed learning about my emotions and thoughts as i write sherlock! chayenzo :))) adieu

also brief shoutout to @toobadforthefacts @yasmini24 and @stateofdelicate who’ve been keeping up with this au and their comments nourish me

(gifs have been credited by tumblr - i used the gif search function :))

[yusuke-of-valla]

Black Mask Sojiro AU

Ok so I was talking about this with @askmarietheapprentice and consider:

Sojiro’s government job was basically a member of the MIB and during that time and working alongside Wakaba he gained a persona and the ability to enter the Metaverse

His Persona is Robin Hood because all the PT call him Boss and Leblanc is like Sherwood Forest

His 2nd tier is Odysseus bc mythological trickster specifically working to get home to his family but that’s not relevant until much later

When Wakaba admits to being worried someone is going to kill her, Sojiro uses his connections to help her hide, but Shido finds out and blackmails Sojiro into using his Metaverse abilities for him

So Sojiro does and he hates it but he doesn’t tell Wakaba because she’ll do something reckless to help him

At some point Goro shows up and offers his services to Shido and it’s like “well we literally already have someone who does that but sure kid you can be his sidekick or something”

Goro is not happy, but less happy is Sojiro because “WHY DOES THIS KID WANT TO BE AN ASSASSIN HOLY SHIT?”

Cue Sojiro semi-aggressively parenting Goro and trying to get him to NOT be an assassin.

Also at some point Goro gets a second persona from his bond with Sojiro, probably Sherlock Holmes

*Flash forward to P5*

When Sojiro learns that the new Metavese users are also a bunch of kids he nearly has a heart attack but you know nbd as long as they don’t get in the way of Shido’s plans

*The PT take out two of Shido’s finacers*

*Shido says he wants to make the PT take the fall for the mental shutdowns and kill the leader of the Phantom Thieves*

*The leader of the PT turns out to be Ren*

*Futaba ALSO joins the Phantom Thieves*

Sojiro: I’m getting too old for this

And now Sojiro has to keep the assassin kid he accidentally adopted from murdering the criminal kid he accidentally adopted and also the hacker kid he’s been intentionally co-parenting from doing something that will get her and her mother killed by the petty, vengeful, asshole he’s working for.

[thisiswhymomworries]

If I may contribute to your statement about how much Agamemnon deserved death, it wasn’t just his daughters wedding day. He arranged for her to be married to Achilles so that she would be within convenient murder range. If I remember correctly, at least in Euripides’ telling of the events, even Achilles thought the whole thing was awful when he realized what was going on. So yeah, there is no telling of the story in which I feel bad for him.

oh yeah, you’re absolutely correct that Agamemnon totally set that up and arranged for her to be married solely to get her out of the house to be killed

and Achilles WAS like “hey what the fuck this is my wedding too--well. not anymore I guess >:/”

ALSO Agamemnon is the bitch who started the Biggest Dick Slap Fight with Achilles about the distribution of loot, which led to Achilles having his Big Sulk and refusing to fight, so Patroculus put on his armor and fought in his place--shout to him by the way!! he has the highest kill count in The Iliad, NOT Big Baby Achilles--and was therefore eventually killed by Hector

so the order of fuck ups is:

Agamemnon makes a stupid ass promise (to Artemis I believe) at the beginning of the war to sacrifice whatever he sees first when he arrives home

immediately sees his daughter, who ran out to welcome him first bc she loves him

realizes now he has to kill her otherwise the gods will be mad and he won’t be able to join / or will doom The War expedition

doesn’t just stay home!! like yeah, he made a regular human promise ala WWI alliances where if something happens to this other guy over here, then fucking everybody in their dog has to go to war over it, including him, but this is YOUR DAUGHTER my dude, just stay home

Decides to go ahead and kill his daughter, I guess!!

lies to his wife (Clytemnestra) and to Achilles (ally) that he’ll marry Daughter to Achilles before they go off to war

when Clytemnestra brings Daughter down to get married, he instead ties her to the alter / pyre and kills her while Achilles is like “whoaaa what the fuck”

all so he can go to this stupid war that again, Does Not Involve Him. he only promised that if Other Guy’s shit got fucked up (ie, his wife Helen getting abducted), then he’d help out but like,, Helen maybe wanted to go to Troy anyway and also still ultimately not his problem

yes breaking promises his a huge No-No but also so is literally all of these other fuck ups he does, so why not just do One (1) fuck up and also NOT kill your daughter\

Goes to war and tries his hardest to fuck THAT up too!!

so the whole point of killing his daughter is that he HAS to go help fight in this war and then when he gets there, he’s useless

coulda just stayed home, moron

he starts a Biggest Dick Slap Fight with Achilles--ACHILLES--over who gets the best loot by pulling that he technically has rank as a king or something but he didn’t do shit

Achilles Big Mad

so basically this guy made direct eye contact with the Greeks’ BESTEST most special warrior, lied to him, killed his would-be wife, snidely pulled rank, took away another woman he wanted (that’s the “loot”), and pretty much fucked her while loudly reminding The Best Warrior he ain’t shit

like,,, ?? the Greeks DID NOT need him there!!

Achilles--their best warrior--refuses to fight, Patroculus fights instead, gets killed, Achilles mourns for three days, they basically come This Fucking Close to losing the war--which has already stalled for ten years btw bc they can’t actually get inside Troy, so the “war” thus far is basically just glorified yelling “meet me in the fucking parking lot you bitch” and sometimes someone from Troy would in fact come out to fist fight someone in the parking lot, aka Hector vs Patroculus (RIP)

if Achilles hadn’t been sulking, maybe he would’ve won the fist fight vs Hector, and Troy would’ve surrendered after losing their leader

but that doesn’t happen so Odysseus does the horse thing to get the soldiers inside Troy and they sack it, but the point is that Agamemnon DIDN’T DO SHIT except make things worse

Comes back home and immediately insults the gods

Clytemnestra does kind of set him up for this by asking leading questions, but they’re so Babey Basic. like,, if a woman asks “hey do you think you’re better than the gods” just say no!!

there’s a red carpet, which is a huge honor for the gods alone, and it’s Super Super Obvious Clytemnestra is goading him into hubris but Agamemnon “Can’t Think Critically” the Daughter Killer is like “oh fuck yeah I’ll accept honors only reserved for the gods because I’m just as good as them DO YOU HEAR THAT GODS I, A MORTAL, AM LOUDLY PROCLAIMING HUBRIS WHILE SYMBOLICALLY STEPPING ON YOU GEE HOW COULD THIS GO WRONG”

didn’t seem to put any thought into how Clytemnestra, a woman, was supposed to hold onto the throne for him FOR TEN FUCKING YEARS but then when he comes back, he rolls up like “hey, honey what’s up with you? me?? oh yeah, I had fun killing our daughter, going to war, fucking other women. LOTS of other women, I even fucked Achilles’s woman. yeah, yeah, that’s just the kind of leader I am Babey!! but anyway, you’re going to give the throne back to me and let me start making decisions as king for the whole country after I killed your daughter, nearly cost us the war, and loudly insulted the gods, right? Right??”

Guess who just got MURDERED

yeah it’s the asshole who deserved it. like, the Agamemnon specifically makes sure to recount how he killed his daughter as she begged for her life and then flashes forward back to the present where he insults the gods, just to make sure we know he Really Really deserves it

not even by modern standards! the audience was at least supposed to understand the promise he made to Artemis was dumb and shitty, that regardless of whether he was “”forced to do it”” he did still kill his own child, AND he committed hubris

Clytemnestra even has a monologue about what the fuck else she’s supposed to do: there are no laws she can turn to, and as a woman, she’s not allowed to get revenge, so her only other option is to just hand the kingdom back over to this Moron and keep sucking his cock or whatever while pretending he didn’t murder her child

basically, if someone kills one of your family members, you are morally obligated to kill them

Agamemnon MUST get his shit wrecked due to hubris

Orestes (their son) has been off dicking around and sulking, and he doesn’t want to kill Agamemnon, and anyway, all he did was kill his sister! does that really count?? seriously though, does it? spoiler: the ultimate answer is No, killing women does not count as killing a person bc women are not people

this message brought to you by Athena (ironically)

also some shit about how women aren’t actually involved in motherhood or creating a child, so a mother isn’t really a parent, and that’s why Orestes gets to kill Clytemnestra via The Greek Obligation For Revenge

Clytemnestra decides Fuck That

she holds Agamemnon accountable and kills him as he must be killed in order to avenge the killing of their daughter

she tosses a net on him while he’s in the bathtub and stabs him a million times with a spear, while laughing maniacally and bathing in the rain of blood that spurts out

as is her parental RIGHT for avenging her daughter

except the problem is that she’s Not A Man, so she ““isn’t allowed”“ to kill a man

and also that the reason Agamemnon deserved to die is ultimately decided to be his hubris, because Women Are Not People so it was OK or whatever for him to kill his daughter bc that didn’t count

therefore Clytemnestra double wasn’t allowed to kill him / avenge her and should have sat around waiting for the gods to kill Agamemnon I guess, but there’s no indication any of them actually planned to do that

they just used her to do their dirty work, so if anyone in this story was fucked into a corner by the gods, it’s Clytemnestra, not Agamemnon

Orestes then has a big long story about killing Clytemnestra

like fuck his sister I guess?? he wasn’t doing shit about revenge and his moral duty to kill the killer of his family when she was sacrificed but now that his shit idiot dad got himself killed, nooow he’s all about His Moral Duty

so he kills his mom

and he’s kind of sad about it and worried that now he deserves to die too because he killed his mom, and it’s a super fucked up sin in Greek World to kill your parent

hence the deus ex machina--literally, how this trope got invented

they lowered an actor playing Athena from the rafters and had her proclaim that Women Aren’t People, so it was probably OK or whatever for Agamemnon to kill his daughter and since women have nothing to do with the creation of a child, and just hold that little sperm-baby inside them like a cup until it magically comes out with zero effort or risk to them, then Women Aren’t Parents so Orestes didn’t reeeally kill his parent

[amazingmsme]

OKAY HELLO I AM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO SEND I HAD TO DO SOMETHING FOR A COUPLE HOURS BUT!!! I AM HERE TO SCREAM

i am going to be thinking about your fic for the rest of my life. odysseus is such an ASSHOLE and i adore it. the way he mocks him and turns everything he says against him, the shirt over his face sounds AWFUL, the playful fake growling and chewing sounds? sir??? also whenever it says that his voice gets lower or growly or threatening i just imagine it as the voice he does when he says “you’ve lost” or “i’m not sure i follow” from done for and boy does that add to the experience. also the way he fixes polites’ glasses for him 🥺

AND POLITES MY SWEET ANGEL,, i love how he’s both a sweet adorable dumbass and a bit of a brat when being tickled, like he keeps making all these sassy remarks and insults and then regrets it immediately after, like he just says stuff without really thinking about it first. and i love odysseus just using those remarks as an excuse to be even meaner. i also adore those little moments where polites will be like “i hate you” or “i’ll never talk to you again” and odysseus is just like “shut up you love me” because it’s true and they both know it

these silly dudes just make me so happy and so soft, and you write them so well it made it physically hard to read sometimes cause my brain was just like 💕💖💓💗💝💞💘!!!! and i was smiling so much the whole way through so bravo, i am throwing roses onto the stage at you!!! <3 - fluffvoid

OMG you don’t have to apologize!! I’m just happy to know you enjoyed it! Thank being said AAAAHHH I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT!!!

I’m literally beaming right now, I seriously loved writing Odysseus as such a teasy asshole, he’s got so much personality & character it was impossible not to make him a straight up bastard lmaoooo

& kzhskabxie don’t get me started on his voice, ok I could hear everything in his voice & I would go over certain scenes to get it right & it was so damn flustering like why did I do that to myself?

Polites is literally so valid, he’s not gonna just shut up & take it, even if he’s worse off for it! It’s his best friend, he HAS to smart off to him when he sees fit, it just felt like something he’d do. Because yes, he is a sweet innocent dude but he grew up alongside Odysseus, some of that sass had to rub off somewhere

I already wanna write more for them, I’m so happy to be passionate about writing again! I just want to hold on to this spark & never let go

[alkidemos]

— ✹ HEED THE MURMUR ! the halls of sparta welcome ( ATHENA ) the ( GODDESS ) of ( WISDOM, CIVILIZATION & WARFARE ). the bards tell us they strike a likeness to ( JODIE COMER ). their deeds precede them in the world of men — praised to be ( SHREWD, AMBITIOUS & VALIANT ) but ( VENGEFUL, APATHETIC & POMPOUS ) in their worst hour. when they enter a quiet room, shadows of ( GREAT-HORNED OWLS, RUSTLING OLIVE LEAVES & MARCHING ARMIES ) spring forward. their opinion of the upcoming marriage is a ( NEGATIVE ) one. their purpose at the spartan court falls in line with ( BECOMING THE QUEEN OF GODS ).

athena / athene / minerva; or, as i’d like to call her, olympus’ edgy mr. muscle

i have a Serious bio for her right here which explains her ambitions and motivations... but that’s booooooring let’s dance shall we

so athena frickin breaks out of zeus’ head and immediately hates him. don’t care if she’s his favorite, she thinks he’s a total hypocrite for consuming her mother metis. 

ya girl’s entitled as fuck from the moment she literally crawls out of my man zaddy (as in zeus + daddy)

like athena falls in love HARD w pallas she’s like,, wtf dite what have u done to me,, and they’re chaotic lovers that fight with their swords and kiss each other better,, and one day they’re fighting for Real and pallas is abt to hit her then zeus fuckin kills the love of athena’s life. just so she can win. what the fuck zeus

athena obv throws a tantrum and like, leaves to terrorize some mountains for fifty years + then hephaestus comes in to collect her and they have a sentimental tender Moment. fuck u poets he doesn’t r*pe her they’re buddies ( i hope so! hmu hephaestus )

anyway, so we have a lot of pent up anger there, and then hera basically raises her but athena gets tired of her shit after a while ( in time, hera becomes poison ) and she straight up leaves olympus. also she hates ares at this point

she helps mortals build cities and stuff for a while, hangs out w a couple of heroes & the usual immortal business, but then ofc the gods don’t stay put so she goes back to olympus to whoop some ass

this is around the time she becomes edgy mr. muscle. she’s like, i will burn this place! to clean it! fuck u hera! fuck u zeus!

and then the apple happens, and athena obv takes the chance, but things are quiet in those 20 years -- possible connection! she tries to draw as many deities on her side. she’s a bit pompous and can be an asshole and probably has a stick up her ass most of the time but she needs them & she actually really wants to make olympus better. heal it, if you will

i’ve got possible connections w artemis / odysseus / penthesilea as my three plot points right here! hmu if they sound good to u

also, on the subject of lovers. medusa, arachne, andromeda & ariadne were all her lovers, bc im saying so. patron saint of cities and heroes? more like patron saint of pussy

she loves women. feminist icon will burn zeus and avenge all the women he wronged.... look out zeus athena’s coming for u

there’s a possible connection right there!

she’s on the side of the greeks but is she really. agamemnon you ain’t shit and athena knows

if any of ur characters worship athena, secretly or outwardly, she’ll be there for them. sometimes in dreams and sometimes straight up there but she’ll be there for u. love her and she will give kindness & wisdom in return

i’m hinting at u, penelope and odysseus

if ur a hero it’s likely that she likes u, but on principle she can’t side w the trojans but she Knows things are a lot more complicated than that.... so i’m open to many many trojan connections

in terms of the Marriage... she probably roots for penthesilea but don’t tell ares. don’t she will smite u

finally, here’s a fuck u from athena to theseus she’s COMING for u

if you want to plot w me after this mess... thank u. hmu on discord if you wanna plot, or like this post & i’ll come to u, or i’ll probably drop something on the plot chat on discord. happy opening, folks, can’t wait to write w y’all!

[bendthekneejon]

Daenerys and Odysseus (and a bit of Jon, too)

Epic poems have strongly inspired ASOIAF. But The Odyssey, The Aeneid, and The Divine Comedy, in particular, caught my eye. Now, I’ll talk about Odysseus and Dany. Comparing them has helped me understand GRRM’s view of Dany: is she really taking the path of a villain for him?

Odysseus is the main hero of the Homeric poems. These poems were so inspiring that they helped Greece get out of four centuries of dark ages and into a renaissance in the 8th century BC. So let’s explore this hero, whose example and teachings remain present to this day.

In short, Odysseus is a war hero who, after winning the war against Troy in The Illiad, has to come back home to Ithaca to his family and rule as king. However, he finds plenty of obstacles in his journey and spends a decade sailing from one island to another. Meanwhile, several men are trying to steal his throne and marry his wife Penelope in his absence. The character goes through a process of anagnorisis—taking back what is his and returning to his home and family. 

Likewise, Dany’s journey is characterized by the search of a home and a family. She is the exiled daughter of a king whose throne was taken. Just like Odysseus, she has a strong sense of duty and wants the throne back. Both she (and Jon) and Odysseus, though, want above everything their family and home (Ithaca, Westeros) back: Odysseus wants the family he already has in Ithaca, and Dany has no family but longs to have one. 

However, the problem that they both face is that they cannot go home nor have a family. They have a will and a duty, but no capacity to fulfill them: she is exiled and can’t get to Westeros, and he is held captive in an island by the nymph Calypso.

Now, let’s compare the characters. The opening of the Odyssey describes Odysseus' character. Take a look: 

“Tell me, Muse, of that man, so ready at need, who wandered far and wide,”

They both sailed for years, from one city/island to another. 

“and many were the men whose towns he saw and whose mind he learnt,”

Dany met different cultures and learned from all of them--the Dothraki, the Astapori, the Meereenese. So did Odysseus. This was, in the end, one of the characteristics that made him a great leader and king once he was back in Ithaca. This journey taught them a great deal. They both took advantage of the negative situations to watch and learn from them. Jon Snow has this in common too: the wildling’s, the Night’s Watch…he learned from all of them and these learnings are what make him a capable ruler. (It’s no news for any of us that Jon and Dany have parallel stories. So the parallels with epic heroes apply to Jon too in many cases.)

“and many the woes he suffered in his heart upon the deep, striving to win his own life and the return of his company. Nay, but even so he saved not his company, though he desired it sore. For through the blindness of their own hearts they perished...”

Odysseus tried to save his company, his friends and fellow sailors, but couldn’t save everyone. Some of them perished, for example, being eaten by the cyclops Polyphemus or eating the lotus in Circe’s island and wanting to stay there. Likewise, Dany tried to save all her people from their hardships, like the Dothraki in the Red Waste, but some of them perished.

This is what The Odyssey is about. Taking advantage of suffering. Learning from it. Becoming a stronger person, and a better ruler in the end because of it. 

What about their weaknesses? They are similar, too. For example, when he arrived at Ithaca, he murdered the men who were trying to steal his wife and throne. He had a vengeful side. Dany has had vengeful moments too, crucifying the masters of Meereen, for example. They both, however, regret using violence. Dany despises violence. This was evident when she was so insistent about not reopening the fighting pits in Meereen, when she chained her dragons, or when she left Daario, a violent man. These are all constant proofs of her aversion to violence.

Odysseus also had an arrogant side. His wish to be remembered, to stand out, pushed him to shout his name to Polyphemus-- a mistake that almost got him killed as Poseidon, the god of the seas, made Odysseus’ journey at sea a living hell after that. Dany’s been proud a bunch of times, saying her name and titles too. But in the end, did these wrongs make Odysseus a crazy, unsuccessful ruler? No. All heroes have weaknesses. What matters is what they do about them. They can be willing to change, they can redeem themselves, they can learn to control them.

I could go on for a while. They are both brave. They are both patient: they go through a long journey but they don’t rush to get home and leave it all behind the way it is. Dany made sure she left Meereen with an army and a strong council, for example, learning from her mistakes in Yunkai and Astapor. They both seek to experience different cultures and experiences willingly to learn more. They know how to listen to advice from others. 

“A queen must listen to all. The highborn and the low, the strong and the weak, the noble and the venal. One voice may speak you false, but in many there is always truth to be found.” (ASOS, pg. 92)

Now, Penelope’s suitors are strongly criticized by the author (and greek gods) in this story because they are trying to get to power with no merit whatsoever. Odysseus is the one who has merit, clearly. Just like Dany and Jon are the ones who have merit, not those assholes who are in the council at the end of GOT. Jon and Dany have ruled, traveled, known different people and most importantly, put people first. 

Dany fought for the throne to give freedom to people and a just life, while others only fought for the throne in a succession war. She literally freed and saved people. She learns to rule, she helps people, she puts them first in her decisions. She even puts them before her lover (a parallel with the epic poem ‘The Aeneid’ by Virgil). And D&D give the power to people who aren’t intelligent at all, who haven’t even fought for the people, just like Penelope’s suitors in the palace of Ithaca. Bran has never fought for the people nor has had any experience in power. How can he bring “peace for the kingdoms”? How can he and the others in the council have more merit than Dany and Jon? To me, they are as worthy of ruling as Penelope’s suitors.

And at the end of The Odyssey, there’s a new world order. The law of vengeance is replaced by a law of peace, harmony, and love. Odysseus is back with his family. He goes back to his throne and rules Ithaca. Not only it was his duty (by bloodline), but he was also the fittest for the job, given everything he had learned on his journey. 

When I noticed all his similarities with Dany I wondered: why would GRRM write such a downfall for her, if she’s a modern, female version of one of the biggest heroes in the history of literature? It would be like saying that Odysseus shouldn’t have had a happy ending.

So, either GRRM hates Odysseus (unlikely) or he didn’t get his story (unlikely). I mean, imagine finishing the Odyssey with Odysseus turning mad.

The Illiad and the Odyssey might be the greatest epics of all time, and GRRM seemed to be writing his own epic. And what’s the historical role of epics? To teach. Storytelling has always been a powerful teacher (if you read the Bible, you know Jesus shared his teachings by telling stories, called ‘parables’), and epics were a way to teach values to society. I think this is what GRRM is trying to do too with ASOIAF. Not to show the world the absurdity of life, or anything of the sort. It’s a story to teach values, like any other epic. It seems most fitting, then, that his heroes will teach with their example, just like the heroes in the great epics did. 

Dany and Jon, on their own, have learned to rule. They empathize with people, with the less privileged ones, a characteristic that makes them better rulers. The other rulers just know the life of the aristocrat. GRRM has hinted often that their fates are tied. He molded them as people and leaders. Plus, they are the saviors of the world and would rule better than others given their odysseys. They would make a freer and juster world. I still have hope. I don’t know if I’m naive. I still have hope that this isn’t GRRM’s view, because Dany and Jon’s ending (in GOT) is condemning Odysseus, Aeneas, Dante, and many other epic heroes in which they are based on. 

What about GRRM’s ‘message about power’? There will be always someone in power. What matters is that the right people are in power. Heroes can be teachers, examples to actual or future rulers. I think Jon and Dany were meant to be the ones to teach with their example.

PS. There are some clear hints that ASOIAF is inspired by The Odyssey. When the cyclops Polyphemus asked Odysseus, “what’s your name?”, he replied: “My name is ‘no one’.” Sounds familiar? ;)

More on epic poems and Daenerys here

[half-bloodcanons]

So im doing a project with a friend that entails me outlining a handful of greek myths and im being a sarcastic asshole because 1. thats how i do work at 4am and 2. we both know the myths so this is really redundant but i need some form of an outline in order to move on. So heres a break down of some of the big myths:

Titanomachy:  Chronus got hungry. Like 6 times. One of them was a rock. Through some bullshit of Chronus is a fucking idiot and possibly drugs he thought the rock was a baby and decided not to persue that matter any more. Decade-somethin later weird dude who strangely looks like chronus shows up and offers him wine and then big C vomits up 5 fully grown children who have never seen sunlight before and then they murder him over 10 years. Some giants in there, 3 asshole draw lots because its a better alternative than strange women lying in ponds.

Prometheus:  Born in cave. Cave dark. Night very scary. Sun not scary. Sun burn. Gods have thing that burn like little sun. Man steal little sun. God angery at man. Man gets his liver picked out on a daily basis for like ever.

Heracles: Its heracles. Hercules for the disney fan. Watch the movie and then pretend Hera is really a raving bitch who wants him dead and Hades is a p chill dude who just wants his dog to go on a walk once in a while. Also zeus got horny. And Herc murdered Meg. And he literally shoveled shit out of a horse pen for a straight 12 hours. And… yah its very different.

Gigantomachy: Backstory: Gaia got pissed at her husband/son so she had her grandkids kill him. Then Gaia got pissed at her grandkids, so she had her great grandkids kill him. Now Gaia is pissed at her great grandkids so she made a whole bunch of new children to kill them. Also cave man here? and Heracles? Like everyone here is an asshole but one of the assholes wants to eat the world so she can sleep so like....same?

Trojan War: Probably best known of the myths? Homer is a jackass like that. Basically Zeus got horny, hera got depressed, a dude named after the capital of france got horny, Eris showed up and did what she does best which is the ancient gods equivalent of politics at thanksgiving. Then all the depressed lady gods go fight over a shiny fruit that they literally can grow a bunch of in their gardens because this fruit aint special to them in any way shape or form other than Eris said pretty. Then the goddess of horny went to french-horny and let him start a war. Also Zeus might have orchestrated this entire thing because the world was so full of people that he couldnt get away with cheating on his wife and that had to stop? Priorities, i guess.

Odyssey:  So man pisses off poseidon because he was cocky. And then takes 20 years to get home when 1. The medeterrainian is very swimable as per modern day man (and Odysseus was fit AF), 2. He had the side of not one but TWO of the most powerful goddesses in olympus. He slept with the pig lady, one dude died for no reason other than comedy purposes, there was a giant who cant see nobody, p sure this is lowkey an ancient greek comedy.

[zephyrthejester]

Code Geass Deadblog: Episodes 45-46

Holy shit! ANSWERS! ACTUAL FREAKING ANSWERS, AT LONG FREAKING LAST. IT'S TIME, IT HAPPENED, ACTUAL AAAANSSWEEEERSSS

Starting off, I kicked myself for not seeing the possibility that Marianne would come back into play. She's been talking to C.C. all this time, and even accounting for that C.C.'s current amnesia, there'd be no reason to think she still couldn't. In a stunning twist, it was revealed that Marianne and C.C. had forged a contract once; Marianne's Geass must have been extraordinarily powerful, because she puppeteered Anya's body from beyond the grave and got close to C.C. Close enough to enter her mindspace and have a hearty conversation with her, which restored her memories.

Even more shocking, we next had a stunning turn of events with Suzaku and Schneizel. In full view of Gino, Lloyd, Cecile, Kanon, and Cornelia... Suzaku resolved that his ideals up until now were naive. The ends do, in fact, justify the means. And to that cause, he and Schneizel conspired to assassinate the Emperor! How in the everloving fuck does Suzaku manage to walk around with those massive balls of his? I guess this is what happens when the fallen paladin squashes out every last spark of Lawful Good in his heart. Schneizel's point of view was that the Emperor has completely failed to uphold his duty as an Emperor, placed himself before others. Man. I feel really bad for thinking Schneizel was a snake! I didn't dare trust him, but at this point I'm really sure he's genuinely a good dude who wants good things.

Suzaku intercepted the Emperor at the mouth of the cave on Kamine Island, but Bismarck intercepted his blow upon the Emperor... Not that he could have killed him, anyway. So, turns out the Knight of One had a Geass of his own, kept hidden under that sewn-shut left eye of his. You'd think I'd have seen that coming...

Lelouch arrived on the Island then. He had gone wild with his Geass, sending a huge swathe of the Britannian forces into chaos, fighting each other indiscriminately. Marianne (as Anya) and C.C. used it as the perfect cover to infiltrate the scene. And Lelouch... well, he confronted his father in the Sword of Akasha just as he was beginning Ragnarok. There was a creepy intertwining pillar of human bodies writhing around there, which was super creepy, and I still have no freaking idea what that was supposed to be. But anyhoo, Lelouch claimed a victory by rigging the exit to explode behind him, sealing both himself and his father in the alternate realm!

From there, Lelouch and Charles began to speak about the nature of lying, which tied into a conversation held between Marianne, Suzaku, and C.C. At long last, we learned what "C's World" is: A collective consciousness of humanity's memories. It was at this point where I realized that, yeah, Mao is probably dead. Whoops. I was convinced that was a dart gun C.C. fired into his neck...Oh well. C's World sounds like a place that's a one way trip, if you catch my meaning.

Evidently, Charles wants to get all of humanity into C's World so that there could be no barriers, no masks, between people, and therefore conflict would end. So in other words, it's literally Human Instrumentality, but with a lot less sexual metaphors. Anyhoo, Marianne's ghost thingy slipped out of Anya's body and went into the Sword of Akasha to meet with Charles and her son, and things got really spicy from there.

Marianne was able to personally explain the mystery of her death: It was at the hands of V.V., who killed her because Charles' love for her was threatening to lead him astray from completing the Contract between them. In Marianne's dying moments on those stairs, her Geass activated for the first time, and she just so happened to be looking one Anya Alstreim in the eyes. Anya, then a child, was cowering behind a pillar and just so happened to be there at the wrong time. Marianne's power turned out to be the power to transfer her consciousness into another person, and from that day on Marianne lived in poor Anya's body, and eventually worked out that she can telepathically communicate with C.C.

C.C. learning the truth of what happened is what caused her to give up her leadership of the Geass society to V.V. and disappear. Charles, meanwhile, swiftly learned of V.V.'s murderous deception and that planted the seed of a future betrayal right then and there... Dear lord, man. V.V. was truly an absolute scumbag. Forged an identity and relationship out of ridding the world of lies and breaking down barriers, then murdered his brother's dearly beloved and tried to cover it up. How disgusting.

Then, in a shocking twist, it was revealed that the Emperor kinda sorta had good intentions for Lelouch and Nunnaly all along??? Sent them to Japan to not make them potential targets for V.V. Oh, and he used his Geass to make Nunnaly convinced she was blind, just to ensure she couldn't have been a witness. Yeah, no, sorry, I'm 100% sure this was the show pulling this out of its ass. I guarantee you the Emperor wasn't meant to be sympathetic early on, and I personally do NOT want to feel any sympathy for this monster. He's done plenty of stuff that's inexcusable, among them his big goals. Like... Why couldn't Charles have let Nunnaly be "blind" at first, then once the heat died down a few weeks later, reversed it and also meddled with her memories to leave no evidence? Everyone thought it was psychosomatic, anyway! Her recovering her sight would have been believable!!

With that reveal neatly wrapped up, Suzaku and C.C. entered the Sword of Akasha thanks to Code powers, and stuff. Don't ask me how... With all the pieces in place, with Marianne fully supporting Charles' plans and Suzaku having his one question answered... Charles raised his hand, channeled C.C.'s Code, and began Ragnarok.

Then Lelouch did the most Lelouch thing he's ever done and used his Geass on God. To not stop the march of time. To not let the world grow stagnant, and ungrowing. To let the world remain in chaos! Because that's the world Nunnaly wanted. And it wasn’t a command... It was a request.

With that, the swirling towers of human bodies that was rising to God fell to pieces, and those who attempted to kill God similarly disappeared... Charles and Marianne vanished into dust, while C.C. looked on and realized that all along, they only loved themselves. Well, damn. Turns out Code Geass' story was a metaphor for toxic familial relationships all along. Sometimes, yes, father and mother do NOT know best. Also, humanity’s consciousness uniting to wipe someone out of existence gave me huge Elder Scrolls vibes, which was nice. There’s a “Brass Tower” joke with the Thought Elevator somewhere...

One month later, and Tokyo had been mostly rebuilt. The world's eyes turned upon the imperial palace over in Britannia, where the Emperor was due to make a speech. YOU KNOW WHO WALKED OUT? YOU KNOW WHO WALKED OUT AND SAT ON THE FREAKING THRONE? Lelouch vi Britannia... 99th Emperor of the Britannian Empire. And at his side, standing proud, was Suzaku Kururugi... The newly dubbed Knight of Zero.

I've never facepalmed so hard. The Knight of Zero. The Knight... of Zero. The Knight of Zero. Jesus christ I am convinced this entire show was conceived just so they could do this one thing. Jesus. The Knight of Zero, you guys. He's the Knight of Zero now. Literally, and metaphorically.

And that's where the episode ended... With the world watching in stunned shock (notably, the Black Knights and poor, poor, poor Rivalz, whose mind exploded), and Lelouch using his Geass upon Odysseus and dozens and dozens of important nobles in the hall to make them view him as their Emperor.

Good lord. There are four episodes left!? If I didn't know any better, I would think this was the finale! The big bad thwarted and killed, the "hero" sitting on the throne, ability to achieve his goal at his fingertips... But no, there's a lot left unresolved. What's next for C.C.? What will the Black Knights do? What is Schneizel scheming!? And why is Suzaku loyally serving Lelouch? These are questions I can't wait to see answers to.

Boy. When Code Geass goes in, it goes in hard.

Other Thoughts:

Um. One of Odysseus’ lines HEAVILY implied that Nunnaly was alive. So holy shit, that’s a thing. What. I am not sure how to feel about that.

Marianne was caught in the act of trying to doodle on Suzaku's face with a permanent marker while he was unconscious, which secured her spot as the best character in the show. Shame she turned out to be a massive asshole, dethroning her and returning the title to Cheese-kun.

I encountered the famous "Notto diso shitto agen" frame of the Emperor, and it was glorious. I now completely understand the context, and that pleases me greatly.

So what's up with Anya? Does she have any memories at all? Was Marianne more of a passive host or was she in full control the entire time? Gods, imagine how fucked up it would be to one day witness a murder while you're a kid, then suddenly wake up on some random island while the world is nearly ending and you're a teen suddenly.

C.C. was wearing her old straightjacket at the very end. Which is super weird. Who finds those comfortable?

Beyond "What's next?" the only question I still really have is "What's C.C.'s name?" Though, truth be told, I'm not expecting an answer to that at this point.

[vowel-in-thug]

GEMMA I have once again fallen in love with another piece of your writing!! I think you mentioned a while back that you really enjoy writing extended metaphors. Do you have any tips on how to write good metaphors/extended metaphors? I still haven't graduated from similies :)

Awww thank you!!! I appreciate it, sincerely, especially because i’m in a Mood.

but i LOVE answering questions on writing, for probably deeply psychological reasons, which we won’t get into right now! and i’m going to use myself as examples in all of these which is REALLY OBNOXIOUS!!! but i’m too tired to try and hunt out other examples so sorry about that

recently, when i’ve been tackling metaphors, I’ve been trying to find things to compare that aren’t even the same kind of Thing. it’s helpful especially for writing noir which is all ridiculous metaphors. An example from the first noir au: “It’s barely a breeze, really, the waves twitching only as much as an accomplished sinner in church. They’re moving, sure, but they aren’t exactly calling attention to themselves.” You wouldn’t think on the surface that a weather pattern could be like a professional asshole on a Sunday morning, but that’s what makes it work, i think. 

and that in itself is an extended metaphor so let’s NUT for extended metaphors for a little while, my very favorite. technically, all it needs to do is go on for more than a single sentence, but you really want to assault people with these metaphor. you wanna knock em OUT. 

 if you’re looking for something formulaic, a good way to go about it is one of these ways:

1. A Large Extended Metaphor, aka the “Beatdown.” This is when you want to compare something to another thing, but you go broad with what you’re comparing it to. That way, you can list all the ways the first thing is like the second thing, in a row of maybe 3-6 sentences, exploring the idea of the first thing being this second thing from every possible angle you can think of. You hit ‘em with everything you’ve got, right from the start. I think this is a traditional take on the extended metaphor

an example from let us possess one world:

Silver always thought himself a single wave, out in the middle of the sea. He’d been out there by himself all these years – sometimes rising up in fearsome storms, sometimes becalmed with no purpose, ebbing and flowing endlessly. But now he was finding himself edging closer to the long, golden, rocky shore that was Captain James Flint. He knew at any moment he was going to find himself crashing down on that shore, pulled to it by the fates or the moon or God, and for a while he’d felt helpless, thinking about it. Recently, however, he couldn’t help but anticipate that moment of impact - the intense collide when they became one. He found himself yearning for it.  

Wham-bam, done. goodnight, nurse! 

2. The “Suckerpunch.” Write a regular, single simile or metaphor (they’re the exact same, if you want to write a metaphor but think you can only do similes, just remove the like or as and BOOM. ya good). Then, maybe a paragraph later, or even a whole page or chapter later, bring it back around to really knock the reader on their ass. 

From the cowboy au:

Flint had thought this part of himself had been killed off long ago, slowly dying over ten years, first beaten and hanged from a low branch outside a small Pennsylvania town before the killing blow, a shot through the back of the head in the Black Hills. The concave of his body was nothing more than an abandoned mine – absent of anything of worth, leaving only cold stone, the faint trickle of icy water, coughing dust, and the fading footsteps of people long gone. Truthfully, he’d been glad to be rid of those usual urges of most men. He knew all too well the mistakes they inevitably caused.

He’d known John Silver all of three days, but Flint was smart enough to know he had “mistake” written all over him.

But a part of him – a stupid part of him, a small part of him all lit up like a lantern at the end of a dark mineshaft – thought Silver had “inevitable” written all over him too.

These look very complex, but it’s actually really simple, you just gotta keep track of what you’re writing. Anytime you write a metaphor (or simile) and you’re like HOT DAMN THAT’S GOOD, tuck it into your head to bring back around some other time. it’s even something you can add in your second or third draft. if you like a metaphor, never let it go.

3. Use both. aka the “Death Blow.” Be Obnoxious Like That.

from the final smallpox:

In the moonlight, Thomas looks as still and cold as marble, though Flint can feel he’s anything but. He’d been stone for so long in Flint’s memory; for so long, he had seen himself as Odysseus, eager for rest after a perilous journey, far away from the sea. But now he knows he has a little bit of Pygmalion in him, warmed and wrapped around his own Galatea.

…(a page and a half later)…

Flint watches him a little while longer, the deepness of his sleep turning him back into stone. But no longer is he the flat, detail-less picture in his memory, the features all smoothed away by time. Now, the masonry is perfect for its imperfections — the scars, the stubble, the bend of his fingers, the unruly tufts of hair, the slightest rise and fall of his chest like Rome. He’s a sharp, precise, finely-carved relief, etched right into Flint’s heart.

Literally just. Never shut up. Keep going. Beat it like an unwanted mule. Wring that metaphor out with your bare hands until all that’s left is crumpled computer code and a reader begging for mercy. If you ever think your point has been made from just a single-lined metaphorical sentence - you’re wrong. You need at least seven more sentence before the reader FINALLY understands exactly what you mean because you’re writing it and therefore it’s all necessary. 

[sobasically]

Hey guys! Muse here! And it’s time for your daily dose of Greek mythology.

So everyone has at least a basic understanding of the Greek pantheons. They all live on mount Olympus and are lead by lightning god Zeus and wreak havoc on the earth with their antics. But there’s a shit ton more to the Olympians than meets the eyes.

So what exactly are the olympians? The answer isn’t as straight as you’d think it is. For one thing, the olympians can get hurt and die like any other human. They are victim to the same vices as any other person. The difference is they don’t have to face the consequences. They ‘die’, they reform. They get hurt, they heal. They do something shitty, meh. Olympians will be olympians. In essence, they are humans minus the limits. 

Frustrating right? The Greeks knew this. But they couldn’t say anything about it unless they wanted to have their life royally fucked over. Kinda like politicians :D

Anyways, there were 12 main olympians. Technically there’s 13, but more on that later.

First you have the original siblings:

Zeus: the youngest and most powerful. He is the god of the sky and weather. Zeus is the most hyper masculine asshole you will ever meet. He could be fair and stuff but usually this was just because his antics caught up with him. Most of the time he was a horny, competitive, burn your eyes glowing hypocrite. This dude saw someone hot and thought “damn I’ll tap that.” And he did. Against their will. And it always resulted in suffering for everyone else. You can’t stop him. Believe me, the gods /tried/. 

Then there’s Poseidon, god of the ocean, fertility, and horses (in his pre-Hellenistic incarnations). Poseidon is similar to Zeus in that he is also horny as shit. But he was 8 times more violent and petty. You do not want to piss him or his many many many many many many many children off. Just look at what happened to Odysseus. Of all the gods you don’t want to piss off- and dammit you do NOT want to piss off the gods- Poseidon is number 2 on the don’t list. (Hera is #1 on this list for reasons to be discussed later)

Hades is the king of the dead and the eldest son, therefore the rightful king of Olympus. Yeah, according to Greek law this dude should be ruling. But, because Zeus sorta saved their asses from their dad and Hades drew the smallest straw he has to rule the realm of dead people. No he isn’t the ‘god of the dead’ and does not judge them or kills people. He just rules them. Nothing else. He keeps order in the land of the dead and that’s it. Apparently he’s really good at it. The Greeks were terrified of him. (If only he ruled Olympus. Maybe stuff wouldn’t be shitty)

Then you’ve got the sisters

Hera, wife of Zeus, goddess of women and marriage, queen of Olympus, Craziest bitch alive. Does that sound harsh? No, it isn’t. She’s fucking insane. Hera has a serious jealousy problem. Her husband is always cheating on her and she can’t punish him (believe me, she’s tried.). So she does the next best thing to calling out her husband. She makes his victims lives literal hell. His lovers are smited, cursed, driven mad, and his children face the same (though often unsuccessfully). Don’t even think of looking at her temple the wrong way otherwise you will SUFFER.

(If I die suddenly after this. You’ll know who did it.)

Demeter is one of the more chill olympians. She’s goddess of the harvest. When she’s happy, people prosper. When she’s not happy... everyone starves. It’s not so terrible though. When she lost her daughter she traveled the earth performing miracles and stuff. She’s one of the gods that have an entire cult to her, the Elysian mysteries. She was one of the ones who inspired the idea that death is a drab thing, that one can be reborn. Long story short, Demeter/Hades for Olympus rulers 2019.

Finally, you have the lesser known, oldest sibling, Hestia. She’s the goddess of the Hearth and is an eternal virgin (by choice). Not much is known about her. But from what is, she’s a kind hearted and fair person. 

Then you have the sorta related but not Goddess:

Aphrodite, Goddess Of Beauty, love, lust, and being petty bitch #2. Born from Nut-SeaFoam (her name means that, fyi), Aphrodite is a sexy boobed (seriously this is constantly mentioned), Golden/flower dyed haired bitch. She gets jealous easily and flirts with everyone. Like, she’s done a shit ton of horrible things. And everyone has the hots for her. The olympians tried to contain her with marriage. The problem is they married her to the least attractive god and  assumed she’d be ok with that. She wasn’t. She cheated with Ares. On a side note: she’s also a war goddess. Like, she can fight and win. Don’t piss her off.

On to the children.

Ares is the only child of Zeus and Hera. You can really tell by his sexual appetite and uncontrolled rage. He is the god of offensive war. As in running into battle covered in blood half naked because you are so pumped up for war that you are also horny. He is notorious for not thinking things through and being a bit of a coward when someone displays even slight superiority. His sorta sister Athena has to drag him in by the ear and remind him that to win a battle you have to think things through. Which is why people like her more.

Athena is the goddess of wisdom, crafts, and defensive war. She was born in armor screaming a war cry... from Zeus’s Head. (She could technically be the daughter of Metis, Titaness of Logic and first wife of Zeus, since he ate her.) She is a daddy’s girl and brilliant strategist. She’s chaste and organized. Many generals trust her as their patron. Athena is actually described as being a bit androgynous. She does happen to have a bit of a superiority complex, like most olympians. But as long as you take her counsel seriously and don’t try to rape her you’re good. 

Hephaestus is son of Hera, born from her thigh, and disabled god of metalworking and the forge. Like, he has a limp. Now he isn’t ‘ugly’ per say. He isn’t Olympian attractive by far, but I like to think he’s average man attractive. Of course, Hera was disgusted by his affliction and flung him from Olympus (“this bitch ugly. YEET”-Hera). Interestingly enough, the olympians still rely on him to make their weapons and stuff. Hes clever, he figured out how to catch his wife cheating on him. So the dude gets more shit than from the Olympians than he deserves. 

Apollo and Artemis are the twin archer gods of the sun and moon. 

Apollo is god of the sun, music, poetry, divination, and rational thought. He’s incredibly attractive and yet does not have a lover. In fact, his luck with lovers is.. non existent. Either they die, reject him, or turn into trees (not that that bugs him too much). When he isn’t consumed by loneliness, he is busy writing songs on his lyre and reciting poetry for the muses. He’s also incredibly athletic, and was known to play discus a lot (not as much after the incident). 

Artemis is the goddess of the hunt, childbirth, and wilderness. She is incredibly chaste and demands the same from her followers. She loves animals and children and hanging out with her ladies. Artemis is described as this tall, muscular lady. Amazon’s probably looked up to her as the ideal body. For the most part, she was pretty decent, a bit of a stickler for her rules but still.

Then you have Hermes, messenger of the gods and trickster. This dude is the definition of a little shit. He’s constantly pulling pranks on heroes and the gods. He’s even the patron of thieves. Don’t shoot the messenger though, just cause the dude is snarky doesn’t mean what he says isn’t true. Hermes is the direct voice of the gods. So you have to begrudgingly listen to him. Fun fact: he was able to talk as a baby. 

Last but not least is Dionysus. Dionysus is god of wine, (ceremonial) madness, and Death (in early incarnations). He also has a cult of his own. But they are less friendly and more horny. Dionysus is this chill dude who casually emits this maddening vibe. His hobbies include drinking, partying, and making women eat their sons. He’s a youthful looking man who occasionally has horns. He was basically the Greek version of Charles Manson. Hestia gracefully stepped down to let him become the final and most recent addition to the olympians. 

Naturally, there are many many more gods and many many more stories about why and how these gods became the way they are and stuff. But this wouldn’t be a summary blog if I droned on about all of it would it? So I stop her, stay tuned for more on the gods and their adventures, from Greece and beyond. 

Ciao! -The Muse