#of the lemon squares. I'm so excited

[whoslaurapalmer]

sometimes you get fresh fruit and you're like, oh it looks so good, it'll be great to bake with! but sometimes you get fresh fruit and it is so perfect. so gorgeous. such a glorious fruit that it's actually like borderline sacrilegious to bake with it because it should just be eaten whole, as it is, ideally in a haze of fruit delight

[thesiltverses]

so i know that the silt verses is approaching its series finale, and i have (allegedly) made peace* with this inevitability. however.

.....is there any chance you guys could be bribed into.... not.... ending the show.... 👀 like i'm not trying to say my mother-in-law makes THE best lemon squares and butter tarts in all of ontario, but i'm also not NOT saying that.

the best confectionary goodness you've ever tasted in exchange for more silt verses, what do u say

*i may still be in the bargaining stage of grief, actually

(also all of this is a joke!! hahaha! unless 👀)

Hahaha, your mother-in-law sounds awesome, and her sweet treats sound delicious!

I know this is a joke (unless 👀), but to answer it sincerely: like most kids, I used to love building Lego. Great towering mangled constructions. And you always got to a point where it was almost finished, probably finished - but the temptation persisted to keep building. Perhaps one detail more? One extra addition, make it taller, make it bigger? And then you'd try and jam another brick on and the whole thing would fall off-balance or collapse into pieces.

And then you had a reckoning with yourself; you'd spoiled your own work because you didn't know how to stop.

When it comes to the world and story of TSV, I of course feel the temptation to keep jamming on more bricks, but I also know what we'd be risking.

Whether it's mainstream TV shows or indie audiodramas, I think there are very few multi-season serials that are universally agreed to stick the landing of their final season; almost every single longform show is popularly considered to have some dropoff in quality or some kind of disappointment in how it handles its ending (even The Wire, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos).

Contrarily, there are a great many shows that are universally accepted to have persevered on long after they should have ended, or to have taken a total dive into a hole they couldn't get back out of.

That's just the nature of longform storytelling - it's ludicrously hard to wrap up in a satisfying way, it's much too easy to keep adding more bricks instead.

We're not done yet, of course, and no matter what I'm sure there are people who will come away feeling that this season was a disappointing ending to the series because it didn't do X or it did Y (and some of that will be totally justified, some of that will be subjective, and some of that is again just the inevitable cost of trying to end a long and complicated story).

But I'm really, really grateful and relieved that we've had some very kind and enthusiastic feedback on S3 so far, and I feel incredibly proud of us and our cast for some of this season's episodes and performances which I think do arguably count amongst our best work.

That feels like a very rare and a very fortunate place to get to end things on, and I wouldn't ever want to risk spoiling that by continuing to over-extend ourselves.

(And equally, I'm just excited to have the chance to make something else next!)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

hi Elanor! I'm going to be Wales for the first time (and am wildly excited), do you have any recommendations for things that really shouldn't be missed in the Cardiff area? (please feel free to disregard if you don't feel like being a virtual tour guide, I've just been seeing your abundant enthusiasm for Wales on my dash for years and can't wait to visit myself)

:D :D :D

I'm doing so much for the Welsh Tourist Board today! They should pay me.

Okay, let's think... A lot of it will depend what you're into. Do you like history and heritage stuff? Wales is extremely rich in castles, so there's a whole load around there - Cardiff Castle, obviously, but also Caerphilly Castle is the second largest in Europe and has a fun leaning tower, while Castell Coch is just west of Cardiff and was built by a lunatic who wanted his castle to Look Right, and so features the sorts of parapets, towers and moats that a cursed Disney princess would be happy with. Said lunatic also built the Animal Wall around Bute Park, which is a lovely park just left of Cardiff Castle in the city centre.

Also St Ffagans Museum, that's in west Cardiff - that's one of those living heritage museums, so they've taken historic buildings from around Wales and very carefully, brick by brick, moved them into St Ffagans to preserve them. They've made it into a little village though, it's so cool (honestly I could write an entire post about St Ffagans alone). Aim to get there for mid-morning so you can buy fresh bread from the popty in the village square, they've usually run out by about 1.30. The sweet shop does GREAT lemon sherbets. There's a lot to see (including a couple of Eisteddfod Chairs :D), so wear comfortable shoes for walking. They also have a high ropes course, and various specific events.

And, Caerleon Roman Museum, north Newport. The Romans built a lot of forts in the UK which became towns, but only three fortresses, and only where vitally needed because of Extremely Restive Locals. Caerleon is the biggest of the three, and in the Mabinogion, that's where King Arthur's fortress is - Caerllion. Whole sections of it are remarkably well preserved, including the little amphitheatre, but they built an actual museum over the top of a chunk of it; it's pretty cool.

OH ALSO do you want to go down a coal mine? Big Pit in Blaenavon will take you down an actual literal coal mine. You do not know darkness until you have been down a coal mine. There's also the Rhondda Heritage Centre, which doesn't take you down but has built a coal mine set above ground and last time I went featured one of those rollercoaster simulators.

Leisure stuff: four different escape rooms, if that takes your fancy; technically six but avoid City Mazes and Play At Pins. Cardiff Bay is swanky as fuck (albeit the most expensive part of Wales, which is... still less expensive than London) and includes things like the Millennium Centre, which will have various shows on. Also the Millennium Centre's cabaret area is currently liberally coated with photos of my husband. Oddly oppressive presence. Unsettling.

Cardiff International White Water does white water rafting/tubing, kayaking, that sort of thing - super fun if you aren't terrified of water. Cardiff International Pool and Gym has some fun slides. Techniquest is a big science centre.

Oh, and as ever, if you want to do one of those guided tours there are a billion to choose from in Cardiff. Including a Doctor Who one, if that floats your boat.

Anyway I hope there is something useful in there!

[tooti-fruiti]

TOUGH LOVE [CHAPTER NINE]

The Tile Puzzle

The next puzzle ahead was a grey square.

Papyrus walked across and left you on the other side.

Then a puff of red smoke appeared and Sans teleported beside his brother.

On the other side of Papyrus was a red and yellow box with colorful buttons and blinky dials.

"HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS PUZZLE!"

"IT WAS CREATED BY THE MAD GENUIS KNOWN AS DR. ALPHYS. ARE YOU EXCITED TO SEE HOW THIS PUZZLE WILL WORK?"

"Sure am." You lied.

"WONDERFUL! THE TILES YOU SEE IN FRONT OF YOU WILL LIGHT UP AND CHANGE COLOR. ONCE I TURN ON THE PUZZLE, OF COURSE. ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN WHAT EACH COLOR'S FUNCTION IS."

Papyrus took a big breath before talking.

"RED TILES ARE IMPASSABLE, YOU CANNOT WALK ON THEM. YELLOW TILES ARE ELECTRIC, THEY WILL ELECTRICUTE YOU AND PROBABLY FRY YOU. GREEN TILES ARE ALARM TILES, THEY WILL SOUND A NOISE WHEN YOU STEP ON THEM AND THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO FIGHT A MONSTER, MOST LIKELY SANS."

Sans glared at Papyrus when he said that.

"ORANGE TILES ARE ORANGE-SCENTED, THEY WILL MAKE YOU SMELL DELICIOUS! BLUE TILES ARE WATER TILES. SWIM THROUGH THEM, UNLESS YOU SMELL LIKE ORANGES. BECAUSE THERE ARE PIRANHAS IN THE WATER THAT WILL EAT YOU IF YOU DO. PURPLE TILES ARE SLIPPERY SOAP TILES, YOU SLIDE FORWARD TO THE NEXT TILE. HOWEVER THE SLIPPERY SOAP SMELLS LIKE LEMONS, WHICH PIRANHAS DO NOT LIKE. BLUE AND PURPLE ARE SAFE. THAT REMINDS ME, IF A BLUE TILE IS NEXT TO A YELLOW TILE, THE WATER WILL ELECTRICUTE YOU AS WELL.AND LASTLY, PINK TILES. PINK TILES ARE USELESS AND DON'T DO ANYTHING."

Papyrus exhaled loudly, then stood up straight. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

You opened your mouth to answer but Papyrus cut you off.

"DOESN'T MATTER. I'M TURNING ON THE PUZZLE ANYWAY."

Your eye twitched as Papyrus pushed a button on the box beside him.

'Asshole.' You thought.

The puzzle ahead of you started to glow brighter as many different colors appeared and moved around.

You keep going over the rules of the puzzle in your head as the colors switched around faster and faster.

Until they came to a stop where a line of pink tiles crossed over to the other side, surrounded by red tiles.

Papyrus clenched his fists and muttered something about not buying anymore "cheap inventions" from Alphys.

Sans silently laughed at his brother before teleporting away again.

You walked over to the other side and Papyrus turned away with a flourish, his cape dramatic flipping behind him.

"COME ALONG. LET'S MOVE PAST THIS EMBARRASSING MISTAKE OF A PUZZLE."

You and Papyrus walked through a small forest and some snow fell from one of the trees and landed on your head.

You yelped and quickly shook the snow off, earning a chuckle from Papyrus.

Papyrus smiled and kept walking forward with you in silence.

Until he broke it.

"HUMAN. I'VE DECIDED TO GRANT YOU A LITTLE GIFT. I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A LITTLE BIT OF DIGNITY BEFORE YOU DIE, SINCE YOU ARE APPRECIATIVE OF MY WORK AND MY SENSE OF STYLE."

"Thank you?"

"YOU ARE QUITE WELCOME. I WILL PUT THE EFFORT INTO LEARNING YOUR NAME INSTEAD OF SIMPLY REFERRING TO YOU AS "HUMAN". SO TELL ME."

He turned to you, his red pinpricks staring into your eyes. "WHAT IS YOUR NAME? I ASSUME YOU HAVE ONE."

"I do. My name is (Y/n)."

Papyrus looked you up and down before smiling to himself. "THAT NAME SUITS YOU."

You smiled and kept walking with him. "Your name suits you, too."

Papyrus smirked and you instantly regretted giving him a compliment. "OH REALLY? HOW SO?"

"Well uh, Papyrus sounds like a commanding sort of name...like when I hear the name "Papyrus", I think of someone powerful and uh dominant."

Papyrus smirked more and put his hand on his chest, posing as he stopped walking.

"AH YES. PAPYRUS IS INDEED A POWERFUL NAME. AS IT IS MY NAME, AND I AM A COMMANDING FIGURE. I AM INDEED POWERFUL AND DOMINANT, MY NAME SERVES ME WELL."

You rolled your eyes and Papyrus smirked at you. "I AM GLAD YOU RECOGNIZE SUCH POWER. THAT PLEASES ME."

Papyrus walked ahead and you quietly sighed and followed him.

[Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day]

<-Chapter Eight

Chapter Ten->

[pbandjesse]

Welp i thought I was doing pretty good today. Are three meals. Had a Popsicle. But just threw up so hardcore. That was not fun at all. I do honestly feel better after throwing up but man did that suck.

But thankfully for the majority of the day I felt good. It was mostly a good day. I did have very very strange dreams last night. But I did sleep pretty well overall.

When my alarm went off I was a little disoriented from the dreams, but I was okay. I got dressed and my hair felt very dirty and it wasn't helped by how humid it was outside. Obnoxiously humid. But it was fine. It would still be a good day.

We left here. James has loaded everything into the car already, which I appreciated greatly. We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast. It was nice to have my regular breakfast after so long. I didn't get a soda and I missed the combination but I thought it would be better if I didn't have so much sugar first thing. I would get a lemonade later on, when I felt like I wasn't hydrated enough.

Setting up was quick. James helped me but there was a lot of other stuff today that they had to focus on. It was skate day! The news was there! We had a bunch of extra vendors for the skate stuff. I loved how busy everything was and it brought in new and different people and that was just really great.

I was very excited when Blanche and her mom came and had a table. Blanche had a table with a million friendship bracelets and her mom had photos and paintings. It was so nice to have them.

Ann would get frustrated with some of our vendors today because they were arriving at 9, which is when we are supposed to be open and done setting up. But I still think it was a really nice and positive day.

I would focus on my temperature blanket today. After cutting all the July yarn yesterday I was determined to get that completed worked up. And it would take about 2 hours but I did it! And I was really happy about it. It was also really nice to show people what I was working on. Because even a few people who recognized the type of loom, they were really surprised that I can make panels on it and it was really cool to share that.

I would also finish the three squares for the little blanket I'm working on and I will probably get those sewn together tomorrow. I am really excited about all the work I got done.

And I made a few sales. I made $85. And I got my lemonade for free which made me very happy. James bought us some pies and snacks. And there was a really nice breeze. It was a good day.

I was happy to be done though. The last hour was pretty slow. I hate that I kept watching TikToks but I was just really bored! I would have some nice conversations but I was ready to go!

I worked up and loaded the car. And went inside the museum to hug on James. I would start helping check someone in but it was a weird one and James would tap back in to help. Perfect timing on my husband's part.

I would fill James in on my afternoon plans. Shake shack, five below, Ulta, target. I thought I might go to the craft store but I had to tap out after target.

The problem started at shake shack. At first it was great. I was really loving my sandwich. But I got halfway through and thought I was going to be sick. I sipped my drink and tried to be okay. I wouldn't force it. Instead packing my leftovers to go.

I drove to five below. Got myself a bunch of snacks. Alexi told me that sour stuff helps her stomach feel better when she feels quest. So I got this ridiculous sour gel. Which I used to love that kind of candy when I was a kid and I still like it now apparently. And I did find that it helped.

I would get myself two sanrio blind boxes. And then walked over to Ulta. Where I found the spin pins I needed to replace. And I got a new stick blush. The one I got a few months ago had glitter that I didn't know about. So I'm pretty happy that I found one without the highlight.

I walked over to target. I would get some frozen foods and a lemon. I walked around the rest of the store but didn't get anything else. I got what I needed and decided I needed to go home.

I sat in the car for a little. Opened my blind bags. Got a pompom purrien who is my favorite. And cooled off and caught my breath. And then headed home.

Google took me a really weird way home but it was fine. Got a parking space right outside our door. And was happy to be home.

I put the frozen stuff away. And took a shower. I was feeling a bit queasy and questionable. But the shower helped. Washing my hair helped a lot. And then I laid down and ate sour candy.

I was doing pretty good but the queasy feeling kept coming back. James would come home and would hang with me for a while. But eventually they went and made dinner. They had pasta. I had a quesadilla. Sweetp kept trying to steal it from me which was rude.

But I did not feel great. And that would continue. We laid in bed and James held me and I have found if they press on my side it helps the bad feelings. So we laid there like that for a long time.

I went to brush my teeth. I have had a dry bad taste in my mouth most of today. I think from being dehydrated. I was trying a tongue scraper that Jess got me when I was like. I'm going to throw up. And it was very bad and very upsetting.

James would run in and brought me some water but I was very very distressed for a bit there. But I drank some water. And brushed my teeth again. And I just had a little apple strawberry juice. And I feel a little better. Mostly I am just really tired.

Tomorrow I am hoping to sleep most of the morning away. Because I'm working a wedding from 2 to midnight. And I need to be up and ready to go! I plan on taking my anti nausea meds since today didn't go amazing. And I'll make sure I'm drinking water. And it will be a great time. There's going to be an alpaca there and I'm very excited about that.

So let's hope that this was just a one off and I'm going to be okay. I will feel better tomorrow.

I love you all very much. Send me good vibes. And send my mom congratulations because today she marks 41 years sober!! Incredible. I love her so very much and I'm proud of her for this accomplishment in self care and self restraint!! Love you mom!

Goodnight everybody!!

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 29 - The First Infant

Becca is officially in her third trimester. She and Travis are both so excited to meet their little boy. Maybe a little too excited. Travis heard there's a... fun way to induce labor. Looks like Becca's game.

It didn't work but at least Becca had a good time. Travis is very happy he could… help.

Look who came to visit!

Ophelia has some down time and wants to help out while the couple gets ready to welcome their little one into the world. She's going to make some meals for Travis and Becca and encourages the two to get some rest. They're going to need it.

Rest up, Mom and Dad! Ophelia's making you some pasta primavera to eat between bottle feedings and diaper changes.

Welp, Ophelia still hasn't gotten much better at baking. She just dropped a whole egg, shell and all, into the mix. Well, that doesn't stop her! She looks pretty proud of her sugar cookies. That'll be a nice treat for the parents to be.

Oops, looks like the woohoo got things in motion even if it wasn't instant. Time to go to the hospital!

Ophelia, keep baking! Becca's gonna need some crispy rice squares after dealing with all this pain!

Travis is panicking a little but he's still got a smile on his face.

Becca: Babe, wait for me, I can only waddle so fast. Travis: Sorry, I just can't wait to meet him! Becca: Well he's not getting in that room before I do so stop running.

Travis: Wait, we're using the birthing machine? I thought we had the realistic child birth mod! I don't want this thing to squirt glue into you and pull your heart out!

Becca: Yeah I'm not aiming for realistic, sweetie, I want this kid out NOW.

Welp, the arms on the birthing machine started fighting with each other.

Intern: Oops. Sorry 'bout this folks, I'm still an intern, I'll figure this out.

Travis: WHY IS AN INTERN DELIVERING MY CHILD

Welp, they did it. Becca and Travis have a beautiful baby boy that will one day be this legacy's first infant, even if it's not on the founder's official family tree. Welcome to the world, Duncan Scott-Clarke!

Ophelia: Hey, I'll give you guys some space. Leftovers are in the fridge.

Travis: Wait, don't you want to meet Duncan first? I know he's only an hour old but I'm sure he'd love to meet his Aunt Ophelia!

Ophelia is an only child. She never thought she'd get to be an aunt!

Duncan might be an object baby, but he's the most perfect object baby in the whole world, in Ophelia's opinion.

This feeling she has right now confirms that the breakup was the right call, even if it was hard to hear. Ophelia knows she needs her own little object baby someday.

[gutsybitsies]

Based on this post about a separate camp for Chthonian demigods

Jason mumbled to himself the words of the prophecy that led to him and Katie Gardner following Connor Stoll deeper and deeper into the woods. Piper and Leo were back at camp, waiting for them to come back from this pre-quest to begin their actual quest.

"Don't freak out when we get there," Connor told her and Jason. "It will just make them want to scare you more." He looked excited though, almost bouncing off the walls despite the heaviness of the two prophecies they had received. The backpack that he carried held cartons and cartons of box mix brownies, blondies, and lemon squares. Lou Ellen's favorite, Katie Gardner said through tears as she stuffed them in.

"So all we need to do is to ask for forgiveness?" Jason asked. "And this Nico, you're sure he will do that?"

"It wasn't our choice," Jason remembered their explanation before they left. "The gods, they refused to listen to us. After Nico and the the demigods who rebelled came back from the quest, their siblings and the rest of the Underworld demigods were cast away from the camp. We begged our parents for them to be able to stay, but the borders were closed, and they were shut off from Camp Halfblood since then."

"Nico is all talk and no bite," Connor said. "It's not him I'm worried about. It's getting to his council that I'm worried about." He made a surprise left turn and jumped over some hedges. "I can feel the pull of their council more and more these days. It means that they've erected a shrine in my father's name recently. They're settling down."

"Demeter as well," Katie said. "I feel her influence."

They came to a clearing in the woods, Jason looked around for an entrance to this other demigod "hideaway" that the rest of the campers talked about.

"It's not here, this is a red herring." Connor said. He closed his eyes and sensed the path underneath their feet. "That way."

They walked into the woods for an hour more, there were strangely no monsters around.

Connor stopped and lifted his finger up to his lips, he pointed at a somber poplar tree on the side of the road. He closed his eyes again and felt the mist around him, and he sensed for the tug of the destination he had in his mind.

"I am Connor Stoll, son of Hermes, god of travelers, merchants, messengers. Son of Hermes, psychopomp of the Underworld, the guide that leads souls from the plane of living to the plane of the dead. And I request an audience with the Ghost King."

"We brought you guys cookies and brownies!" Katie supplied helpfully. "And cereal as well."

The tree shook, and slowly wilted away. The Mist around the area faded as well, and Jason was treated to the sight of a huge, ghastly solid black iron gate. It was ghastly because on the door hung rows of the heads of very much dead monsters. Their jaws were slack in death, but their eyes betrayed horror of a violent end.

The gates creaked open, and the three of them walked in gingerly.

"I'm glad they're able to-to stay safe," Katie remarked.

"You won't stay safe, not for long!" Suddenly arrows fired at them. Jason blasted the projectiles away with a gust of wind, but the distraction was enough. A net blew up from under them and caught the three of them in a trap. Teenagers and children rushed in to surround them, leading the charge was Ethan Nakamura, his one eye squinting in triumph at the capture.

"Good job, everyone." He said. "Now where should we put them?"

A skinny kid with way too many freckles in an oversized armor raised his arm. "We should put them in a jar and throw them to the fishes!"

"No," another one glared at Connor Stoll. "We should just let them rot in that cage with no food or water."

"Is this because I spiked your food with ghost pepper one time?" Connor asked. "Because it tasted delicious either way."

"Also because you stabbed me during the war," the kid said. "But mostly because of the ghost pepper, yes. Fuck your hazing!"

"Language!" gasped Katie.

"Hi Katie, hi Connor!" Lou Ellen popped in from behind Ethan Nakamura. "It's so nice to see you again! I got your care package from my dad, everyone loved it."

Jason could see that Lou Ellen looked really happy to see the two campers next to him. Along with her, some of their other ambushers smiled and waved at both Connor and Katie. She had an ugly scar that ran from under her chin down to her collarbones. She smiled brightly at them nonetheless.

"You mentioned brownies, right?" Another kid said. "I want brownies. Ethan, if we let them out the cage we get brownies, don't we?"

"We are not letting INTRUDERS into our camp for brownies," the apparent leader, Ethan, said.

Five minutes later, Jason finds his arms tied up as he trots down a beaten path to this camp's version of the Big House while their guards on either side munch down on the Betty Crocker brownies that Katie had brought.

There were shrines in this camp. Many, many shrines. Many more than the ones in Camp Halfblood. Off in the distance Jason could see and hear construction of some cabins being built. The builders shimmered, some looked like stone, some looked like...bones.

The three of them were marched toward the entrance of a cave, blocked by a boulder. Ethan marched through like it was nothing, it turned out to be just an illusion. Another Mist creation. Katie and Lou Ellen were quietly conversing, as was Connor and a sandy blond boy who had similar dimples.

They were led down the cavern. Torches lit up as they walked past as if they were motion sensitive. The dark, somberness of it pushed down on Jason, who felt constricted and hard to breathe. Connor and Katie looked fine however, something about their essence seemed to shift when they walked into the camp and down underground.

There were symbols etched on the cavern walls, mysterious Greek glyphs that Jason couldn't read. They passed by a mosaic of poplar trees and a wailing woman beside a river. Mosaics of courts of law, judgement, swords, battlefields. Punishment.

Eventually they made their way into a large clearing in the cave. It became warm, and the decor changed. It was a round room. There were tall Greek columns around a beautiful indoor veranda. On the outskirts of the room were a bunch of sofas, ping pong tables, two TVs, and an array of video games scattered across the floor.

"You guys have a flatscreen?? Two of them??" Connor said excitedly.

"And the latest Super Mario," the kid Jason assumed was his brother grinned. "And we have a computer room! With a bunch of apple laptops! And look at this." He holds up a pager. "We can use pagers here." It was at this moment that Jason noticed that this kid had two fingers missing on his left hand.

Jason noticed that it seemed like all of the members of this place had some sort of physical sign, a mark. A punishment, a warning, his mind supplied. He felt sick at the thought.

"Enough talk. We convene," Ethan said. "Bring them to the room."

The room was connected to the activities center. It was a rectangular space, supported by columns, with a hearth in the center. It felt like a throne room, accentuated by a large gloomy throne at the head. The jagged throne was made from melted swords, knives, arrows, and other presumably Greek weapons that Jason couldn't recognize. It was empty, it was looked to be the only chair there. Looked to be, Jason realized as the other campers convened and sat on seats of their own that materialized as they made themselves comfortable, was a made assumption to make in this place.

The throne was still empty, but Ethan and a stringy looking brunet with freckles took their place next to it.

The air shifted again from the warm hominess of the activities room. This place felt more potent in magic than Camp Halfblood. There was more intent, more pressure. The kids in the room gazed at them with heavy eyes.

"So what brings visitors of Camp Half Blood here?" The skinny brunet asked. "Are we to embark on another quest to be punished for our crimes, or to prove our loyalty? Is this camp too blasphemous?"

"It's good news, Alabaster, I promise!" Katie said. "Where's Nico?"

"He is not here at the moment. We will inform him when he is ready to hear from you," the teenager, Alabaster, said. "We make the decisions here as a council."

"Nico can veto, though," A sleepy looking boy supplied helpfully. "He vetoed Alabaster's last vote to burn down Camp Halfblood. He also vetoed the chocolate fountain in the agora."

"Shut. Up," hissed Alabaster. Maybe he was mad because he really wanted the chocolate fountain, Jason thought halfheartedly.

"Did you not call Nico?" Someone asked, her seat was emblazoned with the symbol of Thanatos.

"We're not calling him until we know what they want," Alabaster argued. "That's what they want. We can't give them what they want yet!"

Jason glanced at Connor, who was about to speak.

"Katie's right. It's good news. Well, also bad news. More bad new than good news. We've lost contact with the gods, and Annabeth is missing."

"Nico's little crush," said Ethan. "That's why you wanted him here, because he'll do anything to help find Annabeth."

Alabaster looked like he was about to say something, then stopped.

Katie and Connor both looked surprised, but moved forward.

"We don't need you guys to do anything, I-I would hate to request anything from any of you, I'm so glad to see that you are all doing great." Katie said. "Jason here will be going on a quest soon, we think it's related to Annabeth's disappearance and the gods' lack of contact. But the oracle sent us here first."

Connor stood up straight and spoke the prophecy that poured out of Rachel's mouth.

"Before the quest proper, bring the Betty Crocker.

Seek the angel and ask for his blessing and pardon,

Confront the Olympians' choice with might,

Right their wrongs and restore balance and light.

As a family we began,

As a family we shall end."

"I think the oracle is saying that the Fates-they're saying that you can come home. That you can come back to Camp Halfblood now," Katie said. "The gods- the Olympians were wrong. We've always known that, but now we can make amends."

"You weren't there, when this happened," snarled Alabaster as he ripped away his shirt to show a ugly, piercing burn that covered half his torso. "When our parents are dishonored. When our siblings, our family, our brothers and sisters in arms, were refused proper burial at that Camp of yours. When I had to drag Luke's body away from the border of the camp because that king ASSHOLE decided he wanted no rites, no rest, no HONOR, for him! For any of us!"

"I'm sorry that I was busy burying my own sisters and brothers! Busy burying Percy Jackson who stayed dead for you! For this!" Katie snapped back.

"Hey, hey let's calm down," Connor said. "You know that we fought for the people in this room. Katie and I, the rest of the head counselors. You know that. You know what happened."

The room quieted. Jason apparently was the only one who didn't know what happened when Katie and Connor fought for the campers here, but he wasn't about to ruin to somber atmosphere.

Suddenly the light dimmed, the torches in the chamber flickered. The throne of swords seemed to glow with inky darkness.

Shadows moved around the room, they didn't obey the laws of physics. They curled around Jason's feet as if they had physical form. The temperature dropped lower, and lower, until he could see a figure forming out of the darkness on the throne.

Two gloved hands gripped the sides of the throne as the figure leaned forward slightly. His face, Jason could see flickers of it now in the whimpering torchlight, seemed to glower without glaring at them. He was gaunt, with a sickly pale sheen to his cheeks. His eyes stared deep into Jason's soul. Power emanated from his small form, even as he himself was almost drowning in an oversized aviator jacket. Jason didn't fear a lot of things, but he felt fear then.

"I smell the blood of Zeus," he said quietly, his dark, handsome and mysterious eyes still boring into Jason's soul, pinning him to his station. "Connor, Katie, why have you brought the scion of Olympus to this camp, to this safe haven for us outcasts?"

Lights flashed again, but this time it's the sudden glint of weapons appearing in the hands of the all the demigods that surrounded them. The room glinted of celestial bronze and- and Alabaster holding an Imperial Gold sword in the direction of Jason's neck.

"Hold your horses," Nico raised a hand, and most the weapons that were drawn lowered. "I said, hold your horses."

Alabaster and Ethan reluctantly stood down and lowered their swords.

"Now, what did you say happened?"

_____________________________________________________________

"Jason must go on a quest, but we need your blessing, and your forgiveness," explained Connor. "That's why we're here, this is a sort of pre-quest."

Nico was silent, before speaking in a somber tone. "There's nothing to forgive. Not from me." He glanced at Clovis. "I volunteered to lead our past quest and exile. Ethan and the rest of the followers of Kronos had to pay their toll for their peace right now. That is balance. But there are others who didn't deserve it at all."

"Ask for their forgiveness, and I will give you mine," Nico paused, then stood up from his throne. The shadows fell from him as he stepped into the light.

He was shorter than Jason expected, especially for someone who legitimately scared him a lot. His cheeks have an olive undertone now, in the torchlight. He made his way in front of Jason, staring down at him.

"But my blessing is freely given." Nico looked unsure for a moment, as if to say how does a child of the king of death give blessings? He awkwardly placed two hands Jason's shoulders and bent down to give him a light kiss on the forehead. "I bless you, go forth on your quest with the blessing of Nico di Angelo, however helpful this might be."

He looked up to the council that convened, and out into the room where the rest of the camp waited to hear what was going on.

"I think we should have lunch. And maybe Connor and Katie can have some conversations."

Lunch was a crowded affair again. This camp had a similar setup to Camp Halfblood. Each parent god had a table of their own, but Jason saw that the campers here freely mingled during lunchtime with each other. Katie and Conner were surrounded by a bunch of campers, happily speaking with each other. Some of them were crying and jumping with joy at the prospect of being "able to go home." Others looked unsure and suspicious.

As lunch ended, Jason saw groups of them go up to Nico to have a short talk. All Nico did was nod and listen, occasionally glancing at Connor and Katie.

As the invisible nymphs (they had invisible nymphs here as well, but nymphs from the Underworld), swept away the plates, Jason saw Connor and Katie head towards Nico for a talk. They gestured for him to stay put.

Eventually, after a long talk, the three of them came back. Katie and Connor made a beeline to the group that was waiting for them, Katie threw her arms around one of the girls and started sobbing. The girl began sobbing as well, and soon all those campers were crying.

"You shouldn't be here."

Jason jumped. Nico had materialized behind him.

"I-I'm glad I'm here. It was nice to see other demigods," Jason said. "I heard so much about you guys from Camp Halfblood."

"All bad things, I'm guessing."

Jason admits he did hear the word "traitors" being thrown around. But not just that. "They miss you guys. A lot."

"Lou Ellen and Clovis and the rest of them miss Camp Halfblood, too." Nico said.

"Were you..."

"No. I fought on the side of the Olympians. So did Lou Ellen, so did Clovis, Damien, they all fought for your father and the safety of Olympus. They were spared the quest, but they couldn't go back. At least we have this place," Nico said. "Here, it's hard for the Olympian gods to reach us, it's dedicated to the Chthonian Pantheon instead. For the ones who never got recognition. To bring balance back."

"Even you were banished? But aren't you the son of Hades?"

"I-" Nico's somber face hardened with grief. "I need to protect this place. Too much has been sacrificed for this, for peace and balance."

"I think you're doing a great job, by the way," Jason said. "Just so you know."

Nico looked surprised. "Oh, thanks."

"The way you commanded them to stand down was impressive, I thought I was about to be kebab," Jason joked.

"Half my job now is just to keep Alabaster from trying to burn down Camp Halfblood," Nico said with a tight grin. "And from installing a chocolate fountain in the agora."

"Maybe he has a point. Why not a chocolate fountain? People can have chocolate dipped food anytime with that."

"Jason, your name's Jason right?" A little color comes back to Nico's face as he whirls on Jason, more animated than he's ever been in the short time that Jason has seen him. "You know how you get ants? That's how you get ants!!!"

"Not if we enchant it!!!!!!!!" Alabaster's voice is heard from across the clearing.

The three of them were about to leave, after having given away all the Betty Crocker desserts to the ravenous demigods of this camp, but Nico stopped them.

"Jason's quest sounds urgent. Let me shadow travel you back to Camp Halfblood," He looked at some of the other campers. "Is there anyone else who'd like to come with?"

Lou Ellen jumped out immediately, and two other kids as well.

Before Jason could ask what shadow travelling was, his hands were grabbed on either side by Connor and Katie, and experienced one of the most sickening and nauseating experience of his life. When they reappeared underneath the shade of a tree (not Thalia's tree) in front of Camp Halfblood, he almost fell to the ground puking. Instead, he stood up while puking.

There was a pregnant silence, with the Chthonian campers afraid to make the first move past the boundaries of Thalia's tree.

"The last time I tried," Lou Ellen said, "I got this." She pointed at her scar.

A tall demigod put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, then marched straight through the border, and beyond. He disappeared, but the rest of the campers gasped and rushed in after him.

Nico stayed behind. He had a quiet smile on his face as Lou Ellen popped her head out of the boundary and yelled "I'M BACKKKKK!!!"

"I forgive you," he said. "A wrong has been righted."

"You should join us for campfire sing a longs tonight," said Connor. "We can have a party!"

"No, I'm going to make a few more trips to bring some other people back," Nico said. "I'll be staying at my camp. Good luck though," he nodded to Jason before melting into the darkness.

"See, what did I tell you? All bark and no bite," Connor said, smiling as he jogged back in camp. "Come on, let's get you prepared for your quest!"

Jason followed behind, with the vision of the other camp, and Nico as well, haunting him. Not in a bad way though. All bark and no bite.

[anattemptatmeaning]

Meredith: First Time Caller, Long Time Listener - Chapter Two: Out the Dark

Author Notes: I'll beautify the post later - I'm exhausted and pumped up from a date with my partner and hanging with my homie that I haven't seen in-person close to a year. Crazy, huh? But we kissed! And I've never kissed before! History in the making! Anyways, I figured I'd drop this before life gets in the way again. Not much happens. Apologies. I've literally had all of this chapter written except for the last two paragraphs for weeks if not months now, but best to get it out of the way. I'm so excited for what's to come...the story of Meredith is near and dear to my heart and so help me, I will fight for her. Of course, if you're just seeing this, do read Chapter One: Fire Starting first! It's even shorter and pinned on my blog! ------ Tags: @nocturnest @brittklein18 @silver-spoon-paper-plate @luluartpop @pretty-little-mind33 Yes, I do keep track of y'all and really appreciate that you're giving me a chance. Seriously. Thank you. Please don't think I'm stalking you. Pretty please.

------ Chapter Summary: Without Lemon, Tangerine gets a job of his own. Theme Song: Johnny's Gonna Die - The Replacements

Word Count: 632 -------

Chapter Two: Out the Dark

One week.  One fucking week. 

More than long enough to take a solo job.  Extra income was always a plus. 

Against his better judgement of being fucking proactive like a professional, he couldn’t get the possibility of the whole situation suddenly going tits up off his mind, keeping Tangerine pathetically glued to his seat with the occasional fidget aside, eyes darting from anything akin to a pin drop.  

After hours and still on edge, he’s checked every nook and cranny of the house. 

Nothing bugged. Nothing hiding to ambush. Nothing out of the fucking ordinary.  

He’s unable to stay focused on his novel, the swashbuckling antics of the Three Musketeers only fuelling his panic. He isn’t D’Artagnan at the Bastion de La Rochelle; he’s Milady on trial.

He thought about going to a pub, but he preferred to drink only after a job, and he hadn’t done shit that day.  

“These the Twins?” Deep. Feminine. Mature.

“One of them.”

“I see. Still able to take on new clients?” 

Why the fuck else would you call? “Yeah.” Sarcasm slipped in. He had gotten his fill of impertinent phone calls for the day.

“Perfect.” A tad higher-pitched. Pleasant. Mocking? “In the States, Saint Paul, Minnesota…” 

Saint Paul.

It had been seven years since the Twins had taken their only job there.

It paid 10 million American dollars and he leaped at the chance.

The job was right fucked up. He’d done his share of shit, but Saint Paul made Bolivia child’s play.

That being said, Saint Paul was a big part of why he and his brother were so feared and successful nowadays. And he figured he’d at least spare the decency of never showing up there again.

Until the right business opportunity arose, of course.

“...Central District, there’s a cop, Justin Geoffrey.” 

Justin Geoffrey.

The name was familiar. 

He hadn’t recalled meeting or killing the guy, but it rattled in the back of his head.

“Sparing details, he’s crooked.” Attempting aloofness. Actually aggrieved. “It’s. Personal. I want him dead. I’m willing to pay three million–”

Well, shit. 

“Consider it done. I’ll book a flight to Minneapolis.”

“Good. May I text this number?” More relaxed.

“Yeah.”

The line hung up. Within seconds, he receives a message from a contact identified only by a black-and-white square emoji.

🔲: Save this number and send a photo of Geoffrey’s body here. I’ll complete the wire transfer once you’re done.

The adrenaline coursing from the assignment of a mission pushed him to finally get off his ass and text Lemon.

🍊: Got a job. 

🍋: See? doing something with your time already

🍊: In Saint Paul.

Tangerine knew Lemon would take longer to respond after mentioning that. His foot tapped even quicker.

🍋: Are you okay?

🍊: What kind of question is that? I do the job and come right fucking back. Simple.

🍋: You’re amped up again bruv you’d never go back there

🍊: Until now. Client’s offering three mil

🍋: three mil is fucking insane but maybe this is a trap?

🍊: Wouldn’t they want both of us? And what was that about you not bleeding? Same thing, I’ll handle shit

🍋: I don’t trust this. Seven years and now you get a call from that place?

🍊: We deliberately avoided Minnesota for years, wasn’t fucking blindness

🍋: This is Diesel shit bruv

🍊: Fucking again?

🍋: Just be on the lookout, I don’t like this at all

Tangerine lowered his phone with a huff. He routinely obtained what he needed for the job: ammunition, bulletproof vest, first-aid, holsters, weapons. All-in-all while slamming clothes into his suitcase, he was just relieved to do something of the ordinary in spite of the White Death bullshit.

Justin Geoffrey.

Tangerine clarified he had stolen the right ticket and left the house. ------

"Anger, which, far sweeter than trickling drops of honey, rises in the bosom of a man like smoke." - Homer

[saulof-tarsus]

Tomorrow is going to be a great day. This weekend is going to be great. I made some lemon cupcakes that I will frost in the morning after they cool off. I had extra batter to fill 3in square pans and am going to make a lil mini layer cake. I used angel food cake to make it so it's extremely light and fluffy.

My mother is going to pick me up so we can go to Mass and lunch, then I have d&d with my friends (real life ones!) and fiance, and he decided to surprise order dinner with everyone else so I don't have to cook or pay for it (which I have been doing the past month or two)

On Saturday then, I have my bachelorette party, which will include my final fitting for my dress, which I now have my veil for. My wedding party is going to see the dress fully done for the first time and fitting me, and I'm going to see it for the first time with my veil as well.

We meet with the photographer on Sunday so that we can go over details for the day of and where the groom+ are getting ready and where I and my people are getting ready.

Next week we will have all of our paperwork done for the church marriage.

My wedding band came in and my fiance is going to pick it up.

I am just so excited. As stressed as I am, this is going to be great. It looks like we are going to have about 60 less people than we accounted for, which is GREAT because that's a 4,000 savings, which essentially covers photography and DJ.

It's almost time, and I'm just very, very excited to marry the love of my life.

[morning-jellyfish-in-a-teacup]

Work dropped off 👍👍

Currently at a coffee shop down the street. Got a cappucino and a lemon-blueberry loaf. Both are so good omggg!

There's a lot of restaurants around so I might cave and get something else to eat. Idk for sure, though. Going to walk around a bit after leaving here and before going back to the house. The area kind of feels like the town square on my college campus, makes sense since it's about 25 minutes away. Had a thought of maybe going there for a bit but money T.T

Idk. I'm in a great mood. Next month will be so busy and exciting!! And I actually have a friend who's happy for me and my accomplishments and said they'll go to the opening with me and just ... yeah, I'm just in such a good mood right now 😭✨️💕

[meinemung]

Tech PM Girl Layoff Experience I wake up in stages. It's a smooth process as the multisensory alarm clocked used a combination of visual, olfactory, and auditory cues to gently wake me up whilst minimally disrupting circadian rhythm. Alternatively, it was flashing, playing muzak, and releasing a scent that was oddly reminiscent of Poo-Pourri into my 600-foot-square flat. I let it keep doing its thing while I grab my phone off the nightstand and catch myself up on the food pictures of college friends and what happened in the world while I was sleeping. I read some story about the plight of some molybdenum miners - I give a 'support' emoji in reaction and feel flushed . I also check my LinkedIn - nothing too interesting has happened. Some desperate wannabes who just so happened to graduate from the same university blew up my inbox for requests for referral. Do I know these people…? Next.

I press a button on the wall that slides up the shades - I am greeted with the excellent view of faceless office buildings of downtown Bellevue, slightly distorted by the pitter-pattering of a cold fall rain. I step onto the heated floor of my spacious bathroom and apply my mascara - I tell myself I always should have been a surgeon.

I check my calendar for the day. Daily standup at 11, some design meeting for two hours after lunch. The meeting load's relatively light for today. And oh, I see that my boss has scheduled a Zoom meeting for 3:30 in the afternoon. And her boss's attending too, along with some random HRBP Melissa. Oh, it must be because I created a new slack bot that looks up gender identities that perhaps are lesser known, and they're giving me an award! That must be it.

I sipped on my arugula - blueberry superfood smoothie while looking out at the tiny cars moving like clockwork along the slick, gridded streets. I feel an immense sense of satisfaction looking out at the tall buildings - monuments to the victory of the personal computer. I catch my reflection in the empty glass and back for a while in my awesomeness.

I fiddle around half heartedly with some wire-frames and add a few items to my to-do list. I then put on my anorak and boots and head out the door. The luscious "ooh whees" of my favorite song "Makeba" by Jain start playing as I put the white Model 3 in gear and peel out of the garage, wanting to make standup in the office.

The office is a gigantic glass-encrusted edifice near the mall. Multiple companies have offices here - including a coworking space (lame), the big M, some indie game studio, a generic Japanese e-commerce outfit, and of course our lovely company that connects the connected generation to the products they love.

Standup was mostly in Zoom, save for me and a girl that I'm roughly friendly with. I gave my update and pretended to be interested while the seniors blathered on about strategic priorities.

Lunch today consisted of Peruvian flank steak cooked sous vide in lemon ouzo marinade along with mixed spring vegetables topped off with fennel flavored mochi balls for dessert. I chewed mechanically, catching myself up with what happened in the world while I was in stand-up.

I took the design meeting at the desk. Everyone says that the weather here is garbage, but I honestly find it truly energizing to be sipping a blonde roast on the dry side of a pane of glass coated with droplets.

Then 3:30 came around and I suddenly felt a strange sensation in my stomach. Was the food not agreeing with me? Some of the options they got weren't fully organic, that I know. They were trying to cut costs, something about providing a return for their investors. Psh - I think that happy workers come first and only then do innovation and happy investors come. But I'm still excited for receiving commendation from my higher ups. Maybe I'll even be promoted! But there's also a queasy feeling that I can't entirely place, a feeling that I don't particularly feel like I should be experiencing.

I click on the Zoom link and … the queasy feeling spreads up to my throat. In three neat boxes are my boss, my skip, and some random HRBP drone, all with expressions that seem a bit too calculated. After some generic politenesses, then comes the money shot. "Given the current direction of our business, we were forced to make a few tough choices," my boss says. Her eyes were too shiny and appeared soulless with Zoom's post-processing. "It was an extremely difficult decision to make but regrettably your position has been impacted." My eyes widened and I could only could nod and say "thank you" dumbly as the HRBP detailed the severance plan and how the company was going to "support in my transition." I felt a burning sensation in the back of my throat and a sour taste in my mouth. I smush a finger against the webcam and throw up the ouzo beef and my superfood breakfast in the meeting room's wastebasket.

The meeting ends cordially. My last day is today. Anything I don't collect will be kindly shipped to me. I'll have to turn in my laptop and my badge as a condition of receiving my severance.

The view outside is now oppressive. The buildings, instead of being inspiring, are drab boxes beneath a drab sky. The weather suddenly seems oppressive, and I suddenly long for the straightforwardly bluish-yellow skies of California where I grew up. The cars out in the rain move unceasingly, reminding me how the world will never stop for me. It reminds me how everyone will move on without me. Tears well, pregnant and teetering at the edge of my eyes, but never fall.

I'm hungry and grab a quinoa chicken salad from the well-stocked Subzero fridges in the common area. My coworker is nowhere to be found. Was she "affected" too? I wish I could have someone to talk to but the common area is deserted.

Taking the first bite and realizing that all this was gone from me forever, the tears finally break, flowing down my cheeks, warm and itching, into the salad. My chest heaves slightly while I keep shoveling spoonfuls of the salad into my mouth and swallowing without fully chewing. I use a warm lavender towel to wipe off the mascara streaming down my face.

I grab a garbage bag from the supply cabinet and began ransacking the supply cabinet. I grab handfuls of all kinds of chips, staplers, notebooks, and yes, portions of the chicken salad and throw them willy-nilly into the bag.

The drive home is numb. For once there's no music except for the sound of the tires on rain-soaked pavement. The garbage bag of stuff rattle around in the frunk, and the Bankers Box of my personal effects slides around in the trunk.

I get home and check my fridge. Nothing but this organic crap. I had planned out a portion of buckwheat oatmeal along with some plant-based for tonight, but my stomach twisted immediately hearing. Fuck it, I'm going to Burger King.

Three whoppers, twenty nuggets, and one frosty later, I was in the elevator of my building. It was filled with people yet they were unseen, hidden behind the neat, thick walls. They were all enjoying their lives, preparing for their productive lives tomorrow, while I was going to, what? Cry and eat Phish Phood all day before dragging my sweatpants-clad ass to wait in the unemployment line?

I soaked for a long while in the tub thinking about nothing. I pulled up my phone and bring up the LinkedIn app. Some cheery business updates - about some new product the company was launching made my stomach churn. I decide to scroll through my connections to see if any were at companies that I might be interested to work at. A few clicks later,. After writing a few sentences that went something like "I was regrettably recently affected by the layoffs at …." but actually said "I'm utterly desperate", I realized that I barely know this person… even though they may have attended the same school as me, who would help someone they barely knew? I put the phone down, cursor still blinking, and fall asleep.

[malamelodies]

Hello Precious

oh sweetheart,

what a weird whirlwind this life has been. I am presently in San Diego, finding myself constantly looking around thinking, how the fuck did I get here? what lead me to this moment, and I have moments where I;m fucking scared I won't be able to leave. that I will somehow be stuck here for a time too long. that in my 'prime' I'm actually wasting away my life.

I had this thought today: the two times I had the most money I've ever had: I was with Jedidiah, and I immediately spent it all. I spent it all. and the moments it was spent on was beautiful, but it was fleeting. I didn't invest. I understand that I was leaning into it. over 100% and the way I thought I was never going to get over greg... and I haven't in ways... I'm terrified that Jedidiah has cost me my ability to love whole heartedly.

Yes ross should have been a rebound... but I really really loved the way we spoke to each other. and when it was good, it was really really sweet. I loved laying in bed with him and just laughing. and enjoying each other.

I just know that I want monetary abundance. a family and to be in a place that is close to the ocean and its a place that I love absolutely love. in all aspects and beyond.

right now I'm waking up looking around asking how I got here in a bewildered and sad state. I'm excited to wake up and look around and think 'holy fuck how did I get here?!' with such excitement and love and appreciation.

now in the mean time, how do I gain that perspective where I'm at?

I think the first thing is routine. physical routine.

I need to not think about what has happened in the past or the future for the matter and just be here. in this moment. if font of public square. finding my flow. what can my flow be.

Monday: therapy, bike, yoga (work trade)

Tuesday: run with Moki. Gym.

Wednesday: Bike ride with Moki. Gym. Work at coffee house.

Thursday: Mom/swim. Open Gym Aerial. Yoga. (dance?)

Friday: Morning run with Moki. work (dance?)

Saturday: Work (maybe bring bike?)

Sunday: If I'm working in the evening, I think it would be really nice to go to the farmers market.

and then there is community outreach as well as finding another job that is easy is cash flow. I would like to find a restaurant and honestly, any that are in this area could be pretty sweet. Maybe look around in La Mesa or Lemon Grove or Normal Heights. Something a little more funky. I fell into Coasterra thinking that the view would ensure things. and it did. but being in kitchen. meh. and this is where I need to stop and listen. Universe. How do you want me to show up in this world at this time? Give me guidance to how I can best serve you.

Its funny... on the way over to wherever I was going to write this, I was thinking that I was going to write about what has happened the last 2... no 3 years of my life.

Starting April 19, 2020. I'm pretty sure I left for Maui sometime in May. and up until that moment. I remember being with Cary and thinking 'fuck this is the end of a chapter and its fucking beautiful'. but I was also craving to be on island. it was calling to me SO LOUDLY. then the money that was given to me through the government. and how active we were. there was literally nothing else we could do but work out. and garden. and be naked and spend more time with the environment around us.

and now. here. let it be a challenge. I know there are awesome people out here. I see it. I see moments of it. and I also see how my eyes get wider looking at different non profits.

I fucking hate jamul. my god. its so dry and hot and rattle snakes are real. I don't want them around. I don't like them.

so things for future online therapy of Tumblr.... 1. saga of 2020 to present.

2. find that job. maybe Carter, just maybe, you were brought here for a reason. and rather than trying to rush out or itch at the discomfort. remember that this is a beautiful place and there is hope to find that thriving community and purpose that I look for anywhere and everywhere I go.

I don't know if it's because things are more spaced out here, but I just want to ground into one neighborhood and really lean into it.

not to mention today is eclipse day. how to womynifest the things I desire and adore. and the kind ways of genuine connection with all types of people is something that I love. people do seem a little more normal and interesting. maybe la mesa is the starting point of normalcy. I fucking hate jamul. its so silly. more so I dont hate jamul, because actually going inland with all the feed places; I'm actually wondering how I missed out. there is a whole journey of farm life, and I was just far enough away.

I literally get disgusted when I think about how my parents live. EVERY TIME I eat with my parents, or more so, my parents food; I get sick. I genuinely get sick. I feel weird in my tummy and it just isn't fun.

so, baby girl. lets take it one step at a time. literally now and into the evening.

play by play.. because I find that my mind gets a little too whirly so lets write it down. even when I had a moment last night right before bed and I thought 'oh yeah I didn't do those things I thought about' and I didn't do those things because I'm not writing it down. they need to be written down in order for the tiniest chance they will be remembered and executed.

so now, as we wrap up this journal reflection, I would like to take out the envelopes and see what I need to schedule.

lets actually take a moment and do it right meow.

breast exam: presently on hold for

Dermatology: on the 24th I think it's at 1?

I need blood test, which I'm not seeing so I will need to drive down there (maybe tomorrow) (or Friday) to sign papers. so fucking stupid.

I think the best thing is to call them tomorrow.

then I'm going to go pee and put away my things and kindly walk up and down this street. maybe change, actually. and do I want to go down to kava? I think it could be fun. then come home. love up and have some bone broth and hangs out with parents for a moment.

THEN. upstairs music. candle. intention. <3

okay I like this.

[totorotattoo]

spring asks: blossom, exciting, favorites, lemons, pride, and travel! 🌷

thank u for the ask :D answers after the cut because its a Long Post lol

blossom: what's youre favorite flower

i love lavender!! i even have a lavender tattoo on my forearm :)

exciting: ideal type of unplanned adventure?

i love just driving places (or really making my friends/roommates drive me places because i cant drive) or taking the subway all over in the summer when im back home. i also like accidentally meeting up with people at a coffee shop in my neighborhood and just joining whatver theyre doing

favorites: what's your favorite show, movie, and book?

my favorite shows are gilmore girls, new girl, and the magicians! my favorite movies are dirty dancing and probably jaws.. oh also the princess bride!!! my favorite book has been i'll give you the sun by jandy nelson for almost 10 years i think but i haven't read it in a long time, my favorite book i've read recently was bellevue square by michael redhill

lemons: what's your favorite type of dessert?

i love love love ice cream. especially in the summer i love going out to get ice cream after having dinner inside at home:)

pride: what's something you're proud of?

i'm proud of the fact that i'm still working and going to class at this point in the semester </3 its been so hard to not just stay in bed lol

travel: if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

i would love to go back to japan but with my friends this time! i would also love to go to anywhere in the southern hemisphere because im from the north and i've never been south of the equator :p

[pbandjesse]

Today was a very long day. But it wasn't bad. Just long. My social battery feels very drained. But I am alright. Just ready to be quiet for a while.

I woke up at 6 with an upset stomach. I wasn't feeling amazing. But I had slept well. And I would lay in bed for a while just scrolling on my phone. Soon James would come up and was all smiles to see me. I love them so much.

We would get ready to go. And I was still a little queasy. But I would hold it together. We drove to McDonald's for breakfast. The woman at the window was very nice. Made me smile.

We got to the museum and James realized they had left our suitcase picnic table on the sidewalk outside of our house. I was trying to not be sad but I was really really hoping it was still going to be there. So after James got all my market stuff out of the car they headed home to get it.

But sadly it was not there. I hope whoever picked it up enjoys it. I was pretty bummed but James felt so so so bad so I tried to tell them it was okay. Just buy me a new one. We decided to get a metal/aluminum style one this time. It's a little cheaper. But James still felt very bad.

While they were gone Stanley got me a 4ft table and I really liked my layout today. Ann was sick so I was in charge today and would keep track best I could. Of venders. And customers. And all the little things. It was shockingly humid and would rain for a few minutes but mainly it was just hot.

We would have 17 vendors which was great. I was excited for a few new vendors. Including jam and cold brew coffee. Ginny seemed a little worried about losing business because she sells coffee but cold brew is different. And he was just so excited and I'm really excited for him. Him and his wife are really nice. I am glad he is "taking control of {his} destiny!" As he put it.

I would have a slow start but I would hit my sales goal. I had some really lovely conversations with people who really liked my work. And it was fun. My body was aching and I would sit down but my chair was so low behind my table so I felt bad sitting for to long. But I would need to sometimes. I was just achy.

I would work on my knitting and made 4 squares which was great. I think I have 47 done total but I will have to check tomorrow. I have 3 and a half balls of yarn left so it would be nice to not have to buy a ton more but we will see.

James had come out to get baked goods. But I wasn't super interested in many things. But I got a muffin and brownies for later. And later I would get Mac and cheese. And Jose would give me two tomato's. And the new lavender farm would give me a bottle of lemon grass room spray for free (he kept saying "a gift!!" It was very sweet) and I would gift that to Jess because she likes lemon grass.

I would keep track of things and chatted with Stanley and talked to customers and I was having a nice day. Even if I was sweaty. I did not expect to be so sweaty.

I was very ready to leave at 1. I had been ready since noon. I made one more loop at 1245 to check in with everyone and let them know they could start packing up soon. And went back to my table to do hair that.

I would gather my stuff and put everything in the cart for the market like the brooms and such. Stanley helped me carry things to the car which was very kind. I had to take James's bike off of the back so I could open it and I was so hot in the parking lot sun that I was feeling very stupid and my fingers were struggling. But I got it off and Stanley put the box in the car and we walked with James's bike to the museum so James would have a way home.

I would be inside for a little watching the desk while James locked the bike. I hugged on them for a while. But I wanted to go home. Because Jess was on her way and I wanted to eat and take a shwoer before she got there.

And so I went home. I didn't get an amazing parking spot but it's fine. I would check on all the critters. Then went to take that shower which made me feel a lot better. I would cut up my tomatoes and made a sandwich and the bread could have been better but I still enjoyed it. I chilled on the couch for a while.

I would soak Crabcake and then once he was done soaking I brought him upstairs with me to walk around while I did some stuff in the bedroom. Fixing my face and hair. He was motoring around and it was very cute.

Eventually I let him roam the hall and he ended up in James's office with sweetp watching. It was very silly.

I went to put him away and laid on the couch. I was making a drink when Jess texted me she was a minute away. But then someone knocked on the door and I was sure it was her but it wasn't! It was the mailman with two packages for me. Amazing.

Jess would be right behind them though and I was very happy to see her.

She would get to meet Crabcake and I would give her a couple little gifts I had for her. Including the lemongrass spray and the red puhtok fanny pack and a card holder for our cruise I got us for matching purposes.

But pretty quickly we were on the road. She has gotten stuck in very bad traffic but we wouldn't have to deal with basically any. And soon we were arriving in Columbia at her friend's birthday party.

We were very awkward at first. We didn't know anyone. But her husband Zak saw us and brought us to Ashley inside. And Ashley was so lovely! I am really glad I was invited. Firstly we are the same height and it is always fun to meet someone the same size. And her house was gorgeous. Like a magazine. They had a taco place catering and me and Jess each had a couple tacos and chips and things were good. I liked the tour of the house, I was very impressed by their improvements and their plans for more improvement.

We would join some of Jess's other coworkers outside. There was a boucey house water slide which was very cool. Lots of kids running around having fun. I would have fun talking about competitive eating and YouTuber drama and it is always fun to chat with new people when you have just a little bit in common. Like we found common ground. Jess would point this out later that everyone was interrupting and talking over eachother which was frustrating but also it's how James's family always talks at meals so I think I have a little practice. And I was having a good time. Despite the heat.

We would be there for almost two hours. But we were both sun tired and after a long goodbye we headed out. I took lots of pictures of Jess and Ashley and was being very silly. I was in a silly mood with Jess today.

I noticed we were only like 10 minutes away from a pretty excellent thrift store. So we would make a pit stop there.

And I had a pretty good time but I lost steam really fast. We would look at the knickknacks and furniture and toys. And we got a few things. But neither of us needed clothes or shoes or bags. So we didn't stay a really long time.

We waited in line and I put a few things back while waiting. I would get one wicker box, some shelf brackets, a little while shelf with a heart, and a framed drawing. Jess would get a few things too. But we were both just tired and ready to get back on the road.

When we got back to my house Jess struggled to park because she's out of practice parallel parking but I think it's so funny because she's the reason I know how to do it now!! But she got parked and came inside and I showed her some more of my house projects. The basement and the backyard. The new door knobs. James was home and making a burger. People were grilling outside and everything smelled nice. We would hang out in the AC in the couch for a while though. I had brought James a Mexican soda from the party and they were so sweet being excited about it. And we would all hang out in the living room. It was nice.

I would show Jess the shows I'm getting rid of and she would take one pair of flats that looked really cute on her. And I would show her the mini suitcase I might use for the cruise because I think it's funny to bring so little luggage. It's my favorite thing.

But Jess would have to leave. There was no traffic on the map and so after some hugs she headed home.

And I went to lay on the couch with James. I watched TikToks while they played a video game. It was just a nice evening.

I would take a cool bath and then permed my eyelashes and it actually went really well! First time I think that both eyes seemed tkbhavs come out correctly. James said I look very pretty. And I feel pretty with my lashes up in the air.

But now I am really tired. James seems to already be asleep. I have brushed my teeth and am going to get cozy now. Tomorrow we may go out on lake Roland. But I am just looking forward to relaxing with my husband.

I hope you all have a great night. I love you all. Sleep well!

[aro-aizawa]

man i know it’s like. literally one of the simplest and easiest thing to make but i am v proud of the rice krispie marshmallow squares i made earlier.

[atonement2007]

things to do for the next few days:

study for the psych final

memorize final speech

buy lisa a gift

take the psych final

give lisa her gift & thank her for a great semester

deliver final speech

finish final honors paper

turn in final honors paper

pack

go HOME bitch