#ofc Ed is so pretty without even trying

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Roy's a little distracted...

For those who can't read my awful handwriting lol, the text goes:

Jean: Woah, the boss looks so serious... Kain: He's been like that all day. (he hasn't even touched any of his paperwork...) Jean: I wonder what's got 'im thinking so hard... Meanwhile, in Roy's mind: ((he) can't stop thinking about last night)

I have a 600-ish page book I really need to finish reading for this summer research thingy, but I'm procrastinating so clearly the best course of action was drawing sussy royed fanart---because obviously 💀💀 Oml, seriously tho, I should be JAILED for this, lmasjkd. Unironically some of the most scandalous fanart I've ever made, so it was legitimately embarrassing af to draw, askjd. Not very demure.

(and as always, bonus closeup of Ed's eyes!! <33)

[oneforthemunny]

all dressed up |mafia!eddie munson x reader|

prompt: eddie won't come to a halloween party with you, so you decide to go by yourself... in a costume you know he won't approve of. based off of this prompt :) thank you to whoever sent it in! you can read the rest of my spooky stories series here!

contains: smut. minors dni. language. dom/sub themes- really dom/brat themes lol. all pre-consented ofc. spanking, oral (fem receiving), p in v sex. daddy kink. eddie's a little more of a hard dom in this. mafia themes but nothing graphic.

You saw the mess of curls move behind you once, then again, snapping towards your frame with a fury that had you fighting back a shiver, trying to remain casual and unbothered, applying your lipstick on in the large vanity mirror.

"What are you wearing?"

Your lips pursed, rolling them to keep your own triumphant grin back. His tone, the sharpness and snapping of his words, eyes still boring at you through the mirror; you had him right where you wanted.

"A costume." You hummed, so casual it made Eddie's head spin. Your eyes finally met his in the mirror, calm and vacant of the usual bratty, defiant glare he was expecting. "It's Halloween, Ed. You're supposed to wear a costume."

Eddie's snort follows before you can finish your sentence, posture straightening just enough to look menacing, his own expression still calm but entirely unimpressed. "So you chose to wear that, huh?"

You rolled your eyes, dramatic enough that you were sure he saw it- you wanted him to. "What's that supposed to mean?" You eyes narrowed, meeting his challengingly through them mirror, though you didn't turn around to face him.

Eddie nodded slowly, no signs of aggravation, or irritation even at your snarly mood. "Stand up f'me." His voice hardened, slipping into commanding that had your body jolting, eager to please. "Let me get a good look at you. See the whole thing."

You scoffed, despite the rush of excitement that was flooding red hot through your entire body, pushing your small stool back from the vanity. The dress barely covered your ass, resting just below the swell- dangerously short. Eddie's chest roared with possessive furious heat at the thought of you bending over, showing anyone what was between your legs, what belonged to him.

"You look pretty, baby." He didn't miss the way your shoulders fell, slumped with shocked disappointment. "What are you supposed to be?"

"I'm an angel." You batted your eyes sweetly, a purr to your tone that had Eddie's heart jumping.

"You sure are." Eddie matched your tone, effortlessly flirtatious, lips curling in a half grin.

"I don't have my wings and my halo on yet." You smoothed the white material of your dress down, smoothing out a wrinkle.

"You don't have your dress on either, do you?" Eddie cooed, his tone soft and light. You almost missed his question.

"Yeah I do." You frowned, looking down at your dress. "This is what I'm wearing."

"Oh, baby," Eddie laughed softly, shaking his head. "That's cute, but you're not going out in that."

"Yes, I am." Your voice was fierce, already snapping with fight.

"C'mon," Eddie scoffed with a slight smirk, rolling his eyes lightly like you were so silly, like it was a teasing joke you were playing on him. "You're not wearin' that out, sweet thing. Especially not with me not around. Go on and change into something else."

"I'm not changing." You huffed, nose scrunching with annoyance. "I'm wearing this, and if you don't want me wearing it without you, then you should come. Like you said you would."

Eddie nodded slowly, tongue rolling down the side of his cheek. "I told you, baby, I can't come tonight-"

"-You don't want to come tonight." You snapped. "There's a difference."

"Hm," Eddie hummed, exhaling slowly, eyes still on you so fiercely you were beginning to squirm.

"You said you would come, Ed." Your voice teetered off into a whine, turning to him with pleading eyes.

The same fight you'd had for the past week, since Eddie pulled out of going to Nancy and Jonathan's Halloween party with you, claiming he was "too busy". You knew the truth. That he was uncomfortable being around your friends, people who might judge him, side eye him with fear when he came in.

"No one's going to care that you're there. You're coming with me." You pleaded, trying to rationalize with him.

"I told you, I'm busy." Eddie's tone clipped with harshness, eyes scanning over your frame.

Your lips pressed together, arms crossing over your chest in fury. "Fine." You snapped. "But I'm not changing."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not." You growled. "I like what I'm wearing, and I think other people will like it too." It was a low blow, one that you knew was risky, might send Eddie over the edge and break his calm exterior- which was exactly what you wanted.

He knew that, which is why he swallowed back the commanding bark in his throat, though you didn't miss the way his nostrils flared.

Nails tapping against your folded arms, your lips twisted. "I thought you'd like what I had on, too." Your tone was still harsh, but filled with an edge of a sultry purr at the end, hands sliding down your hips suggestively. "I thought you liked it when I dressed up for you."

You were definitely playing dirty now, you both knew it. But Eddie allowed it, allowed you to walk towards him, straddling his lap, legs spread and on either side of his spread thighs so your dress rode up, exposing the tiny, lacy white g-string underneath.

"Thought you liked it when I wore a little costume, hm?" Your nose was brushing his, lips tickling when they ghosted over his.

His jaw clenched to keep himself from breaking, to keep from kissing you and pinning you to the mattress, fucking you until you were a pliant mess under him, knees knocking when you walked afterwards, still leaking him down your thighs.

"I do like it." Eddie's voice was strained, swallowing back a flustered shake. "Love it when you dress up f'me, you know that."

You hummed, soft and airy, your hands wrapped around his neck, nails raking over his skin. "So come with me tonight. See me all dressed up." Your lips brushed over his, just light enough to drive him wild, have his hands twitching.

"You don't even have to dress up, Ed. Just come with me." You grinned, nipping at his bottom lip, smug at how his breath hitched. "I'll be dressed up enough for the both of us."

"Not in that dress, you won't." Eddie's eyes met yours, hard with challenge. "Told you, you're not wearing that dress out."

You blinked at him, scoffing before pushing back, sitting back on the tops of his thighs. Eddie couldn't help but look under your parted legs, lacy panties fully on display and barely covering your slit.

"Yeah? You won't be there to stop me from wearing it." You snarled, pulling your legs down onto the red carpet beneath you with a stomp.

"I'll wear whatever I want." You growled, standing between Eddie's legs, pushing the dress back down and into place, smoothing out the wrinkles. Your gaze met his, eyes narrowed with anger, a gentle snarl on your lips that told him your were about to say something mean.

"Maybe I'll find someone there who actually appreciates my costume." You turned with a scoff, barely stepping out from between Eddie's legs before a strong hand caught your wrist, yanking you back towards him.

A gasp tore from your chest, shocking realization flooding your system as Eddie hauled you over his knee, pinning each of your wrists to the small of your with his hand effortlessly.

"Wait! Wait! Eddie-" You squirmed frantically, trying to loosen his grip while he wasted no time shoving your dress up, leaving you bare in your tiny panties.

"Wait, no, I-I'll change, Ed. I was just- oh!" You squealed at the impact, his hand leaving a stinging impact on your left ass cheek.

Eddie didn't lecture you, didn't coo at you until you were sniffly and babbling while he spanked you. Instead, he stayed silent. delivering thundering hits to your backside, heavily focusing on the underside where your thighs met your ass- where he knew people could see the lasting handprints in your dress. It was calculated and mean, left your sniffling and wailing with each hit, shamelessly soaked and grinding onto his leg.

"I'll change! I'll change my outfit!" You wailed, hips lifting and thrashing to the right, trying to twist and avoid his burning assault on your ass.

"Stop it, Ed! I said I'll change!" You huffed, stomping your foot onto the ground, bratty and demanding. Eddie's cock strained behind his dress pants at the sound, delivering another hard spank to the center of your ass, that echoed through the room with a resounding clap.

"Stooop!" You whined, high pitched and nasally, wriggling in his grip. "You're gonna r-ruin my makeup!" You could feel the prickling of a sob threatening to take over, a floodgate that would be much worse than the few tears that had already slipped out.

"I'll be good! I'll change my dress! Ok? I will, Ed!" You howled at the next two blows, leaving your spine arching, lifting off the silk sheets.

"Look at me." Eddie finally spoke in a gravelly growl, his free hand catching your jaw, holding you up to look at him. Your eyes shifted to his, blinking back tears and fighting back wet, pitiful sniffles.

"You gonna listen to me now? Ready to be good for me?" Eddie's voice still wasn't in it's usual coo, but softer than before, leaving your lip wobbling.

"Yes," Your voice squeaked, teary though you tried to fight it.

"What do you say to Daddy?" Eddie lifted a brow, sternness still in his features. "For being so mean before, what do you say? Hm? What do good girls say when they've been mean and bad?"

"'M sorry." You muttered, eyes dropping from his gaze with bashful shame.

"Look at me." Eddie growled, hand tightening around your jaw lightly. "You know better. Need me to take you in the office, hm? Go get the paddle?"

"No," You tried to shake your head, stiffened by his grasp.

"Then what do you say? Let me hear you, loud and clear. And you better keep those eyes on me when you say it. You know how you're supposed to do it." Eddie's voice was harsh, enough to leave you shaking with fear and pleasure, throbbing between your legs. He didn't miss the way your hips rocked down on his leg when he spoke to you.

"I-I'm sorry." Your pitch raised, voice wobbling when you spoke up, your eyes locked on his. "I won't be mean anymore, Daddy. I'll be good. I-I promise."

Eddie hummed, satisfied, his grip loosening on your cheeks, letting go of your hands. Your arms ached, wrist rubbed sore from the chafing of skin on skin. Eddie settled you back, perched on the edge of his thigh, fighting back a grin when you hissed at your raw backside touching his pants.

"That's a good girl. That's my good girl." Eddie cooed softly, pulling you into his chest, your cheek pressed to his shoulder. "You know I hate having to be mean to you like that, but you have to listen to my rules, baby."

"I-I know." Your hiccupy voice was soft, chest heaving with a cry you were still trying to swallow. "I just... I really want you to come with me tonight, Ed." You squeaked, tilting your head back to look at him.

"I know you don't want to, but... it would mean a lot to me if you did." You whispered, fingers nervously toying with the edge of his shirt. "I just want to be with you and my friends. I don't-I don't like it having to be separate all the time. I just want one night where- where it feels normal."

Eddie's chest ached, pulling you closer to him. He was going soft, he was sure of it. Soft and ruined completely by you- not that he minded.

"I'll go with you tonight." Eddie hesitated, eyes flickering down to yours carefully, watching yours fill with excitement, lighting up at his words. "But, I'm having Gareth and Max wait outside. In case any shit happens-"

"-It won't-"

"-Just incase." Eddie cut you off, giving you a pointed look that had you nodding, curling back into his hold. "And, you're still changing."

You bit back a smile, nodding. "Yeah, probably can't wear this now." You giggled lightly. "Kinda ruined it."

"Oh, sweetheart, I haven't ruined it yet." Eddie grinned, hand squeezing your waist just to hear you squeal before he flipped you back onto the bed, hovering over you.

"I do like this costume." His lips hovered over yours, curls from his bangs tickling your own forehead, leaving you squirming.

"But I think I want it," His lips pressed to yours, a full kiss that lasted far too shortly for your liking, eyes barely closing in pleasure before he pulled back.

"All," Kiss.

"To," Kiss.

"Myself."

You whined into his mouth, his thigh strategically moving between your legs, bumping with your clothed pussy, teasingly.

"You think you can do that for me?" Eddie's breath ghosted over your lips, dragging over your cheek, pressing a hot, wet kiss to the corner of your mouth. "Think this can be just f'me, baby?"

"Mm-hmm." You whimpered, hands sliding over his shoulders, pulling him back towards you, closer and closer. "Just for you."

"Just for me." Eddie grinned, pressing a kiss to your jaw, teeth grazing barely, leaving you jumping with excitement.

"You do look so pretty though. My pretty girl, always." Eddie praised softly, pushing off the mattress to look at you fully. You whined, fist balling around his shirt, trying to keep him close, flush to you.

Eddie batted them away gently, his hands sliding down your frame to your legs, wrapped around his waist, spreading them gently. "I do think you should keep on these," Eddie rasped, finger tracing over your clothed slit, down the seam of your panties while you arched into his touch, desperate for more.

"Please, Ed, please." You begged, mind already spacing with needy pleasure.

"Shh, I got you, baby. I'll take care of you." Eddie soothed you gently, hands cupping under your knees, pushing your thighs back to your chest. "I've got you, sweet thing. Just hold your legs up f'me. Can you do that?"

You nodded eagerly, shaking hands grabbing at your kneecaps, jerking them towards your chest in a tight grip. Eddie grinned, sliding down your frame, knees sinking into the carpet. "Good girl." Eddie growled, hands on your waist, dragging you to the edge of the bed, grinning at how you gasped.

His fingers ghosted over your slit again, pressing in and giving a gentle, teasing rub over your aching clit that had you crying out, nails digging into your skin before he finally hooked your panties to the side. Tongue tracing down one lip, down the other, then right to the middle, just a featherlight, teasing that had you squirming in frustration.

You were close to voicing your frustration, the whine caught in your throat when Eddie's face pressed into your cunt, nose brushing with your clit, tongue lapping at your folds. Your hands moved to his hair, pulling him in closer and closer, hips swiveling down, pressing further and further into him. He didn't stop until you were crying out, breathy and broken, babbling on and on, "'m gonna cum, E-Eddie, I'm- oh!" music to his ears.

"Look at you," Eddie cooed, stilling himself when he filled you, stuffed full of his cock, grinning at the glassy, love stricken look in your eye. "You are an angel, hm? The prettiest fuckin' angel I've ever seen."

Nails sinking into the mattress, you balled the silk sheets in your hand as he started to move, slow but deep rolls of his hips into yours. "I-I don't have my wings on." You babbled brainlessly, mind spinning and reeling with pleasure. "O-Or my- oh! Right there, Ed- Or my halo."

"Don't need it." Eddie sucked a breath in between gritted teeth, his strokes coming faster now, sending your eyes rolling back.

"You're always an angel. Prettiest- fuck- prettiest angel in the world. My pretty angel." Eddie reached for your chin, grabbing it so you looked at him through fluttering lashes. "You're my pretty girl. You know that? You know it, don't you, baby?"

"Ye-Yes." You clenched at his words, and for a moment, he saw stars, letting out a deep groan of pleasure.

"Let me hear you." Eddie's grip tightened around your jaw. "I wanna hear you say it. Say you're my pretty girl."

"I-I'm yours, Ed." Your head tilted back, tummy tightening as you teetered closer and closer to your orgasm.

The small slap to your cheek had you gasping, attention pulled back to Eddie. His brows furrowed, lips in a tight, concentrated line. "That's not what I said." Eddie shook his head. "Thought you were gonna listen to Daddy?"

"I-I am." You whined, legs wrapping around his waist, pulling Eddie in closer to you.

"Then do what I said." Eddie tilted his head towards you, looking down the slope of his nose at you. "Say it. I wanna hear you."

You bit back a whimper, gasping at a particularly perfect stroke that had your vision blurring. "I-I'm you're pretty girl."

"Who's pretty girl?" Eddie coaxed, the pad of his thumb brushing over your cheekbone. His breath ragged, chest starting to heave- you knew he was close too.

"Y-Yours." You choked out, tears of pleasure brimming your waterline.

"That's right." Eddie growled, folding himself over top of you, lips catching yours in a sloppy kiss. His hand slid between your bodies, circling your clit just right until you were writhing, scratching down his skin as you came undone, his own release following shortly after.

You were late to the party.

Not that either of you minded, really. And it wasn't like anyone there dared to say anything either. Even Nancy, who just gave you a wide smile when she opened the door.

"You made it!" She squealed, pulling you into a hug.

"Yeah, sorry. We had to take the dogs out." You lied easily, eyes cutting over to Eddie's with a small smile.

Nancy's brow raised gently, though she said nothing. "H-Hey, Eddie." You didn't miss the way her grip tightened on the door, opening it wider so you two could walk in. "Glad you could come."

"Yeah. Thanks for havin' me." Eddie nodded, stiff with an unusual uncomfortableness. He felt awkward being in his street clothes- ripped jeans and chains, a band tee (a Dio shirt you claimed would be perfect- "a devil and an angel!"), instead of the usual designer wear he'd grown so accustomed to. He felt truly back in high school, just as nervous as he was then.

Your hand slid down the leather of his jacket, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "Um, well, drinks and snacks are in the kitchen- you know where the kitchen is." Nancy looked at you with a nod, the music growing louder and louder as soon as you entered the house.

You followed her through the house, passing by the numerous people, ignoring how they'd stop, still, eyes wide and stare when Eddie passed, whispering in shushed tones behind your back.

"Help yourself to whatever." Nancy smiled, motioning to the array of alcohol. "I got you Bacardi Breezers, a whole pack." She gave you a teasing smile.

You laughed back, shaking your head, giving a slight shiver. "Oh, great. It'll be just like senior year all over again." You smirked. Eddie's interest piqued, though he kept his gaze nonchalant, scanning the room, making a mental note to ask you about that later.

"I'm gonna go make sure no one's broke anything, but I'll be right back." Nancy nodded, giving your arms a gentle squeeze, before shimmying through the crowds of people.

"You want anything?" You asked, reaching for the colorful glass bottle out of the pack.

"No." Eddie shook his head.

"Not even a beer?" You lifted a brow, turning back to him. "They have Miller."

"I'm good, baby." Eddie nodded sweetly, eyes catching with a guy who was staring, narrowing his gaze just barely before he looked aways. "You get whatever you want."

You looked over at him, twisting the bottle in your hand. "Can you open this?"

Eddie obliged, of course, cracking it on his belt buckle- a trick he learned from years ago, from when he still saw half of these people every day in the hell that was high school.

You took him to the living room, finding a corner tucked away from the beer pong set up in the middle, the people drunkenly dancing and chatting.

Eddie sat down in the small arm chair, hand around your waist, pulling you into his lap. You hissed, face crumpling for a moment, wiggling to a comfortable spot.

"You hurting?" Eddie frowned, head ducking towards you.

"No, I just forgot." You muttered, bashfully. "I'm fine."

"You'd tell me if you weren't?" Eddie lifted a brow.

"You know I would." You smiled reassuringly, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"I think I like this dress better." You looked down at the long, silk, white dress you'd swapped the other out for. "Looks more angelic."

"Anything you put on looks angelic, baby." Eddie grinned playfully, positively sweet and silly. His face fell after a moment, scanning the room, looking to make sure no one was watching- he couldn't dare have someone see him like this, boyish and silly and so, so in love.

You giggled, pressing the bottle to your lips, taking a quick swig. "Thank you for coming with me." You hummed, leaning your head on his shoulder, the feathers of your halo headpiece tickling chin.

"C'mon," Eddie muttered lightly, squeezing your hip. "Do anything for you, baby."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Eddie nodded, looking down at you. "You've ruined me. Made me soft."

You giggled, pulling back to look at him. "Is that a bad thing?"

"For you? No." Eddie grinned softly. "Best thing that's ever happened to me. You know that."

You beamed under his praise, hands grabbing his cheeks, pulling him into a sloppy make out right there in the corner of the party, and Eddie felt like he was sixteen again.

"You're so sweet." You hummed, starry eyed and airy when you pulled apart. "So good to me."

"You deserve it." Eddie muttered, cheeks pricking with a heat he couldn't fight off. "Plus, this isn't all bad. Better than I thought it would be." He looked around the room. You both seemed to blend in, get lost in the crowd now, everyone else doing their own thing while you watched.

"Really?" You grinned widely. "Told you it would be fun."

"Yeah, you were right." Eddie nodded, eyes rolling down your frame. "Plus you were right, I do love to see you in a costume." He growled, leaving you squealing with giggles.

[taintedcigs]

eddie who takes care of you when you're sick :( making u a soup even though he has no idea what tf he's doing :(:( he hand feeds u :( doesn't let you get up for anything bc he can do it all for u !!!!!! he gives u kisses. everywhere. even when u tell him he shouldn't bc he could also catch a cold he doesn't care.

"eds, stop, you're gonna catch a cold!!" you whine, trying to dodge him but with a tut his hands wrap around your cheeks, making you look up at him. soft gaze matching yours. "i don't give a fuck sweetheart, c'mere. you really think i can spend a second without kissin' my pretty girl?" soft kisses plastered all over your face and your cold lips, warming :( you :( up :( instantly :((

and like four days later. ofc eddie gets sick bc he continuously kissed you. so now you're taking care of him as he's wrapped in a blanket, nose all runny and red, cheeks a pale color, and he takes a small sip from the soup you made him, that boy-ish grin sitting on his lips. "totally worth it," he murmurs with a coarse tone.

[synoname-wordsmith]

Leftovers and Burnt Toast: Sanji x gn!reader

Summary: sanji has some concerning eating habits. you've ignored them for as long as you can, but what happens when you finally confront him about it?

Warning: eating disorder, angst, eventually comfort, let me know if I missed any

A/n: inspiration hit at 2 am after reading the linked post. I'm not a writer, so don't come for me. Also, I'm pretty sure I used gender neutral language, but if not, let me know, and I'll edit. Happy reading

Heavily inspired by this post:

You weren't spying on the cook you were observant, and those old habits never really died, did they? You were a spy, and it was in your blood to notice things. Moving silently through rooms thing caught your eye, even if it wasn't intentional. So no, you weren't spying on Sanji. You just started to notice a pattern.

Spending your time in the kitchen working on research of nearing islands, you could see him moving through his space, cooking, and baking but never eating. At first, you thought he just wasn't big on snacking and saved his appetite for meals, but when meal time came, his plate was hardly full. You knew he didn't waste food, so small portions made sense, but he never went back for more.

Then you noticed he skipped breakfast. Every day, he entered the kitchen just moments after you set up your books and notes, and not once did he grab anything to eat. And when breakfast for the crew was finished and being divided up among the group, he was always last to take. And with Luffy, that meant scraps and crumbs at best. Lunch was the same, and dinner didn't change the pattern either.

He didn't snack while he meal prepped, and the few times you "accidentally" made too much and offered it to him he graciously smiled and thanked you, but handed it off when Ussopp showed interest.

You've heard his stomach growl, so you knew Hunger was something he experienced, but you couldn't wrap your head around his avoidance.

***

It was a Tuesday when you finally said something. Coming home early from an excursion on the latest island. You entered the kitchen and was met with the familiar warmth of Sanji's blue eyes.

"Hello love, i didn't expect anyone back so early, i can whip you something up if you like"

"No, thank you," you matched his light tone. "Nami and i grabbed a bite at one of the little taverns." he smiled at that and turned back to what he was doing. You paused for a second, then made your way to one of the stools across from him. Watching his fluid movements through the kitchen as you considered speaking again.

"Have you eaten?" You hoped the nervousness wasn't prevalent in your voice. He paused before turning around. Smiling his signature smile.

"No need to worry about me, mademoiselle, that's my job"

"That's the thing, though," you paused, trying to find the right words. "i do worry about you," you paused again, and before you could speak, he interjected.

"Don't waste any energy worrying that pretty little head of yours, darling," he laughed airly, "especially about m-"

"You havent eaten since sunday!" You blurted without thinking. The silence that followed was deafening, and Sanji's face reflected that.

Just as quickly as his smile faltered, though, it was back. "That can't be right, love, surely you're mistaken"

"Im not," your voice was barely a whisper, "i made too much toast when i woke up on purpose, and you ate the extra, but you haven't eaten anything since then. No lunches or suppers, and you never snack." You risked looking up from your fidgeting hands. His eyes were wide, and his smile was gone.

"Have you been watching me that closely?"

"Not on purpose, noticing things is what i do, but once it became a pattern, i couldn't not see it, and - Sanji, what is going on?"

He laughed again, but it lacked humor, and then he reached for a cigarette. He didn't speak until his first exhale. He was stalling, another habit of his you noticed.

"I assure you im fine." his voice was low, and his eyes glossed over as if he was seeing something far away.

"I dont think you are," you whispered, willing him to look back at you. "i didn't want to pry, but i also noticed the more stressed you are, the longer you go between meals." He took a drag looking at his shoes. You could feel panic crawling up your throat. "We dont keep secrets. Remember? That's what you said to me. And I've been trying every day since then to be open and honest with you. Why is it not a two way street-?"

"Enough!" He didn't yell, but his voice was low, and his tone was heavy. You froze.

"Sanji-"

"No, this is of no concern to you, and I do not appreciate you sticking your nose where it does not belong " you had never seen him like this, he seemed genuinely angry. It scared you

"Sanji-" you tried again

"Maybe it's best you work out of the map room with Nami from now on." he turned from you like he was done with the conversation. Your hands shook, and you tried to fight the tears that pricked your eyes.

You felt frozen and before you could organize your scattered mind to respond the rest of the crew entered the kitchen

"Sanji! Look at all these groceries Nami found! Supper tonight will be amazing!" Luffy yelled cutting through the tension like an oblivious knife.

In a moment, Sanji reacted, posture shifting and smile returning. "Of course it will! Show me what you bought!"

You felt yourself lose control of the little composure you had left and slipped out of the kitchen without being noticed. If you were going to cry, it wouldn't be with an audience

***

"just talk to him"

it had been 3 days since you confronted Sanji and neither of you had been hiding the tension well. You had tried to give him space and act as if nothing was wrong, at least around the others, and Sanji seemed to have decided on the same approach. You moved to the map room and held off Nami's questioning stare for a few days with vague statements, but meal times were still tense. 

You tried to ignore it and to interact with the rest of the crew but it felt like a giant flashing sign was going off above his plate now. You kept quiet, kept your distance but the worry was eating at your insides.

" do i need to remind you 'Just talk to him' is how we ended up in this predicament in the first place " 

You had finally caved and told nami what was going down in the evening of day 2. She was perceptive and terribly persistent, before you knew it you had told her everything.

"Sure, but we both know Sanji is the poster child for not asking for help. Its probably why you get along so well" the last part was meant to be a joke, you scoffed 

"You're one to talk" you retort trying to hide your smirk. A moment of ease sat among you as you both laughed, but all too soon your anxiety started to settle in.

Nami sighed and placed a hand on your arm, "look, he was probably just caught off guard and embarrassed last time. Try again."

"Ya, probably." You aren't as sure as you sound, though.

***

Supper came and went and you had meant to talk to him as he cleaned up but Usopp and Luffy monopolized his time. Before you knew it it was dark and everyone had dissappear inside for the night.

You hadn't seen Sanji since the kitchen was clean but decided to do one more sweep of the place before giving up for the night. 

That's when you saw him out on the deck. He stood near the railing facing the sea, the kitchen giving just enough light to illuminate the smoke rising off his cigarette.

You went out and joined him. Leaning on the railing beside him. He didn't look at you and you didn't say anything as you both watched the dark waves.

You started to pick at your cuticles in the silence trying to figure out what to say.

"Im sorry i snapped at you, it was unfair" you turned your head to look at him but he kept his sight trained forward. "You were right and i got defensive and mad"

You wanted to tell him it's okay, that you don't take ot personally. You also had a million questions rapid firing in you brain but the look in Sanji's eye made you hesitant to speak up. You didn't want to shatter whatever aire was floating around you both.

"It was my mothers birthday last week. I didn't even realize the date until after you said something to me" you turned your body to him this time. Sanji rarely spoke of his family before Zeff and when he did it was vague with glossy eyes. Only after calming him down from a few nasty nightmares did you piece together very basic ideas of his home life. "So when you said i eat less when im stressed i guess you hit the nail on the head." He discarded his cigarettes into the sea and leaned forward on the railing. You reached out and placed a hand on his arm. He took a deep breath and continued. "I knew i did that, with the food i mean, i just- food isnt really for me you know? Dont get me wrong i love food and cooking, but i do that others, for you guys. It's like a love language i guess." He pulls put another cigarette

"I do eat when i feel i need to, but starving isn't a foreign feeling, and, i guess, along the way, i forgot the urgency that is supposed to come with that." He exhales smoke with a dry laugh. "I never considered it was a problem,  and i never meant to worry you. For that, im sorry"

He finally looked over at you. His words broke your heart and you tried to keep your breathing steady. If you cried he would make this about you, and you didn't want that.

"You need to eat, Sanji. You deserve to be healthy, not just alive." he smiled at that. It was more to himself, and it didn't reach his eyes. He took another drag.

"You keep saying that." He tried to joke, it almost had the lightness of the Sanji you knew. You felt you grip on his arm tighten as you fought harder against tears. 

"How are you joking, how do you not see you deserve the love and care you so selflessly give to others?" The words came rushed and more pointed then intended but your control on your emotions was deteriorating quickly. "I don't ask about your family, and i'm not going to start now but whatever they did and said to you, they were wrong. You deserve love Sanji" 

He opened his mouth, but you spoke again before he could. "No, you deserve kindness and unconditional love. From others, but also yourself." You hadn't noticed you were crying and only noticed you were shaking when he embraced you."i care about you so much, we all do. Please take care of yourself. If not for you, for us. For me." 

You felt his arms tighten around you and he didn't speak for a moment but when he did it was clear he was crying also.

"Im sorry" it was barely a whisper "i don't want to upset you, i'll do better"

"I just wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wish you would talk to me."

"I know I'm sorry, I'll do better at that too." You sniffled and looked up at him. His face was streaked with tears and his eyes puffy. You half smiled up at him

"Hey, I thought apologizing too much was my thing." With that he laughed. A real, heartfelt Sanji laugh. Hearing it made you feel like you could breathe again.

He wiped his face and then yours, leaving his hands on either side of your face. 

"We can figure this out together, right? As long as it's together?"

"Together," you echoed.

[caloricidal-bleachbiter]

Dni if:

U re fatphobic/homophobic, get your life together

U re a coach trying to pull people into an ed or make it worse

U re <16

Tw ed and sh mentioned

If you know me: no u don’t. Get off of my acc. If u don’t know me u can call me Akku.

I have this acc to vent, I don’t know how I can tell someone how I feel or what I am dealing with. Also I don’t want family and friends to know. I really don’t want that. So every negative thought I have about myself or my body will be here. But otherwise I don’t wanna influence people or be a motivation to starve themselves. If you do, I won’t judge u ofc and I won’t tell u what to do bc I wouldn’t listen to this as well. U re not as lonely as u think u are.

I wanna loose weight to be pretty. I am so afraid of gaining weight and I hate my current weight so much. Not only bc of the gender problems I have (I can deal with these I guess) but also bc I don’t wanna be the fat girlfriend that struggles a lot with hygiene. I really don’t wanna loose my boyfriend, I love him so much. I have no one to tell this bc friends etc would worry a lot and asking me to get help. But I don’t think that would eliminate the fear. That’s why I post it here. I just need to loose a lot of weight to look good. Bc when I see myself without baggy clothes I get sick. But even with baggy clothes I feel fat af cause of my boobs (which I hate a lot). I don’t know when I will ever be able to undress myself without wanting to throw up. I don’t know why every plus size person I know looks absolutely stunning and perfect and I look like a deformed sack of molding potatos no one wants. I just hate this body. I hate the weight. I hate the calories. I hate that my body won’t let me throw up on purpose anymore. I hate that I get hungry a lot. I hate that I like the taste of food. I wish I just could be a person forgetting to eat instead of feeling hungry everytime I eat with a deficite. My body is way to dramatic about weightloss. And my back, shoulders and wrists hurt so much that sports is literal torture and I can barely do anything except walking. I just hate myself and that I can’t loose weight that fast. If I see myself in the mirror, I want to take a knife and cut the weight off. Cut off my boobs, cut off my stomach, cut off my massive amount of back fat, cut off my double chin and cheeks and cut off the fat of my hands and arms. Currently having a movie night with a friend of mine and I try so hard not to cry out of the nowhere right now.

Anyways pls adore my cats:

[beanghostprincess]

If you’ve seen the part where Winry gives him her earrings… you’re really close to another super emotional, gut wrenching scene that gets me every time (from Ed’s pov).

Personally I don’t ship either of them with anyone else because their scenes are just so… like it’s so obvious they’re so completely and irrevocably in love with one another that I can’t imagine them loving anyone else or even just crushing on anyone else. Like on one hand they’re two very well written characters with their own interests and passions unrelated to the other, which is great to see because I don’t like when characters only exist within a ship, but on the other hand, at the same time they love one another so much that it’s like the other is their world? In a way? Like the other is always on their mind and they’re always worrying for one another and wanting the other to be happy. I’ve always thought Ed has actually loved Winry since they were kids and that Winry fell for him as a teen, or at least that she realized she loved him when she was a teen. But the thing with Ed and Al arguing over who would get to marry Winry someday when they were kids, and Ed being the only one still thinking about it and being so flustered when he asks Winry about it, is a pretty big sign for me that he indeed fell for her back then and has kept on loving her all along (trying to hide it from others and failing miserably) while Al prob had a small crush on her as a kid, and eventually moved on and saw her just as a best friend and as a part of his family.

Idk I’m just rambling sorry hejhfkds I love seeing your FMAB posts, it’s always fun to see the first reactions of someone to a piece of media you love, especially when they’re as positive and wholesome as yours have been. So thank you for sharing that with us (and good luck for the incoming scene I mentioned… and for the finale. They might ruin you… but in a good way lol)

Yesterday I watched the scene in which a pipe (or a beam? Whatever that thing was) fucking goes through Ed's body (disgusting. Thank you. I almost died of a heart attack) and he almost dies and only gets up and fights against it because he "doesn't want to make her cry for something so dumb" and I think these two are going to be the death of me (also Winry screaming for Ed when Al doesn't respond. I am throwing up. I can't do this).

I ship Ed with Ling and Winry with Paninya because I have the magical powers of a multishipper, but I do agree on the fact that they're indubitably in love and I'm 100% sure they're together in every universe no matter what. They love each other so so much it makes me melt every time. The other day I had to pause the show to scream about them (sometimes I pity the friend that watches the show with me because he has to deal with me doing a character analysis every fucking time something happens).

And please!! Keep rambling about Fmab whenever you want in my inbox (without spoilers ofc until I finish this) because I just love talking about it. It's becoming one of my favorite animes for sure <3 I'm so so glad you like seeing my opinions on this!!

[the-mingling-dating-sim]

Hey! Since you said the game isn’t coming out soon can you tell us some stuff about the story or the lore? Also kinda interested in what the endings of the game would be

And like… Anything to do with Norm… /nf

oh yeh sure! keep in mind that the lore for the game is pretty messy considering how a few of the people helping at the time had different visons for the game but ill try to keep it somewhat consistent.

this is a long one btw

first of all lemmie just repeat what's already out there, the player is a new employee for the mayor but after being pushed aside on their first day of work they go around town finding others who work(ed) for Mingus to help until the end of the week to be allowed into the mingling meeting. pretty simple stuff. additionally there was side routes that would have included a small task for a reward at the end of the week that would appear upon starting the first day again, each one varying in degrees of difficulty with the easiest rewarding the least gameplay / lore and the hardest doing vice versa (think of the kindergarten games with their items)

also mentioned before, each route has three different outcomes, either being platonic / canon, romantic (minus billy ofc) and a 'bad ending'. the canon ending is just an ending, the romantic ending would show a cutscene with you and said route characters in the future and the bad ending would simply have you either fired, dead or stood up. there's also the shit yourself and die endings ofc but ill go into those endings later

ill just go over each different plot route very quickly! Mingus' route would have you helping her in the office and teaching her about being more venerable and allowing people in her life more, the ending would be her promoting you. for Stabby and Shooty's route, they'd be plotting revenge for getting fired so they would try to sabotage / assassinate Minus, since its their boss getting them to do so the player would convince them to move on and the canon ending would show the three of you moving out of town. Theoroar's route (my personal favourite) would be you two searching for a cyptid in the woods and finding a creature from mf hell, basically a mixing pot of creepypastas but silly, and the ending would be yall agreeing that its best to let it be and to let go of the idea of cryptids. abels route actually has two directions, either fixing up the funfair or flat out insurance fraud with both endings having abel warm up to the player to make them an unoffical co-manager. bunnys route is very similar to abels in a way, even having some overlapping scenes, but its bunny needings the players help to reopen his resturant with the ending being either selling it or running it together, its not the best written down but i dont know how to explain it fully without making this longer. billys route was just keeping him out of trouble while also causing trouble with him, kinda pulling pranks together and the canon ending having the player non-legally adopting him. annnnnnnd finally (gosh this was longer than i thought) gods route was him just hanging out with the player while trying to explain the situation they were in without getting caught, you'll see what i mean by that in a second, his route doesnt really have any sort of ending since he knows that it really isn't the end so he kinda just lets you go when the time comes

and for the side routes (going from easiest to hardest)! tango would have just had you helping with a few simple puzzles in town hall, his reward item was a friendship bracelet that when worn would have had other townies have much longer / lore deep conversations with you. for phonegingi's route, he would have had you to help him bring some stuff to the old datables and other important character's from the og dt, the reward would had been cough nectar that could be consumed in different areas + becomes an option in a few routes. norms route was one of the hardest to code but for his route it would have been catching people committing randomised crimes, his reward was a gun, like a proper revolver, it could have been used as its own weapon but it can be used for intimidation + a new option in routes. final route is actually an oc character! Francis (cough cough) isn't exactly in the front of main gameplay as his main function is an intro to the combat / crimes system and a way to sell and buy illegal stuff, his route was actually sabotaging the main route character and instead of an item, the character you was doing the route of would actually be erased from the game (kinda like ddlc), this is actually a deeper ending on itself

so with all of that out of the way! onto the lore, the lore can actually be discovered by various audio logs hidden throughout the game, though the logs are only unlocked after a hidden area within the woods is found by doing a few quests for items. the logs locations are mostly hinted at by dreams / flashbacks between the days with them correlating towards the characters included. the characters included are all related back to Callum with each one having a point of 'escaping' or 'trying to get out'. some people may know that I've said in the past that the main character relates back to Marla, that's because one of the narrators in the game is actually Marla with the second one being ahhaha why would you like to know :)))

sadly when it comes to the games lore, the most important character is actually my oc Francis. the reason why he's so important is mainly because of how he is in control of the game / simulation that the player is in, being the one who resets it and while i wouldn't say its super obvious upon first playing, when you know it becomes obvious yk? it was originally a deal between him and god to make a better clone of dialtown (failed miserably since its MUCH worse) but within the process he found that Typeillie was an anomaly so his goal was to originally monitor them, finding that they weren't entirely themselves anymore. this being the player controlling them. another thing to include was the fact that the timeline was shifted and altered with some characters even turning into glitched abominations of their former self and others being fragmented, this being how Marla is able to communicate to the player and why you encounter Milton + Hannibal looking the way they do. with that being said, the only other characters that are aware of Typeillie's situation is god and Phonegingi since they can remember the resets (its implied that the beginning of the game isn't actually the first loop) but after seeing everything that Francis is capable of they choose not to outright say anything.

now with lore out of the way we can get to endings!

other than the route related , shit yourself and die or joke endings, there are two (technically seven) main endings to the whole game. the first one being probably the most common since after you complete all of the main games endings you'll be confronted by Francis by him ranting about how he made everything just for Typeillie until he realises the player has been controlling them the entire time, leading to him torching the player for a bit (horror sequence n that) before killing them, this just resets the game back to the beginning so alll progress is lost. the contents of this ending actually can change by the type of endings that the player has done but they're all the same other than those few paragraphs. the second ending is a bit more complicated though, after doing Francis' route enough times to have killed all of the main datable's the next time you boot up the game you will be in 'the outskirts' (ill explain in reblog's) sitting with the corpses of everyone of the datable's, inspired by that one scene in mouthwashing but this time they're completely lifeless, and Francis will go on another rant about how much you have done, leading to him handing you the knife to 'finish Mingus off' since you never technically kill her. in this scene you'll be given the choice to either kill Mingus, kill Francis or kill yourself, choosing to kill Mingus will cause Typeillie to speak for their own for the only time in the game, her begging the player to reset the cycle and do something nice this time before the game jumps to the main menu again, if you listen or not doesnt really matter. if you kill yourself, it will just show Typeillie stabbing herself and Francis talking to her corpse before walking off, funnily enough the image is timed for 5 hours and if you choose to close the game then all of your progress resets. now for the final ending, killing Francis (aka the true ending of the game) results in Typeillie killing him a bit more graphically then the others before walking off as the week starts up again but it being the next week n Francis being nowhere before the game crashes. the original idea was for the game to delete itself and to boot up dialtown if it was installed but this was imposable to say the least.

anyway i really hope this answered your questions for the game! this took me too long to write out so i hope its answered everything you wanted to know

[milekael]

Riza of course

RIZA NATION RISE UP 🫡

How I feel about this character

My wiwiest my chewtoy my blorbo my beloved my specimen I put in a controlled environment which I constantly alter to see her reactions. I don't know how to express she is my favorite character ever apart from that because of her, I made the term Lieutenant Syndrome to categorize characters that are Lieutenantbrained like her and now all my friends know me as the CEO of Lieutenant Syndrome characters they come to me to impart them the light of the Riza.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

EveryoneXRiza SDFGHJ But I mean really ofc I am Royaipilled first and foremost and all other ships if they exists they kind of do it around Royai LOL I think Im also personally the biggest propeller of KainXRiza DFGH I find the conflict it would create really interesting. I also would like to see some exploration over RizaXMiles because I feel there could be a lot of interesting discussions there plus they both suffer from Lieutenant brain. AGAIN Im pretty much open to all Riza ships with enough talk and I go "Yea I can see it"

My non-romantic OTP for this character

SDFGH AGAIN I WANT HER TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE!! I think being friends with Ed and Al and Winry is priority because I think she has that more casual relationship to all of them and they should be her besties. I also think most people who I ship her with can be her friends DFGHJ I also overall like Team Mustang friendship and I like them showing off how much they love and appreciate her!!

I also have this thought that I really want her and Scar to interact more. I don't know if they could even be fully "Friends" (Specially from his side, he has he right to never like her lol) but I do find interesting how Arakawa has paired them together for 4-koma jokes and I found the scene where she is very nervous just to tell him "Thank you for helping me save Mustang" to be very compelling, I think there is an interesting relationship and discussions to be had with them mmm.

My unpopular opinion about this character

Help Idunno about any that hasn't been said before + I am in the Rizapilled club so I know people who see her like I do LOL I think my real hot take is that Riza has more going on than Roy/her storyline is inherently more interesting and at the very least people should acknowledge that if Roy went through something traumatic, Riza also went through it ASDFGHJ But also ultimately both their characters and plotlines are inherently tied to each other and trying to separate them without considering the relationship makes me go :/

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Again I just wish Riza and Scar had more conversations with each other just because it would have addressed a lot of interesting points. Also release the Rizacut I want to see what she was up to all those months under Bradley. She must have interacted with Kimblee at least once right?? Also any elaboration over her relationship with Grumman?????? I KNOW IT EXISTS ARAKAWA GIVE ME THE RIZACUT /j

[jiraiposting]

Testing 123

I don't see much activity in the menhera tags besides just aesthetic and art posts... and well, I'm not exactly a textbook lifestyle jirai (atleast not yet) but I need a place to talk about how much my life sucks and what I'm thinking about without filters and pretty words.

And well, the jirai community seems nice enough, toxic bc ofc mentally ill people do mentally ill stuff, but I really don't care if it means hearing others and being heard for once.

I'm in therapy and stuff, so I'm trying to be healthy, but I think I need a space to let it all out instead of suppressing

I just want a community where I can be my true ugly self, would you all accept me using your tags even if my stuff is more 'tame' or 'normie'?

Like to clarify what i would post about:

My weird relationship with food bc autism but it's not a "proper" ED (or well, not a traditional one caused by body dysmorphia).

SH urges, even If I dont actually do it

General depressing thoughts

Jokes about wanting to kms

I also don't have bpd (is It a requirement?) But I do have dpd (cluster c, dependant pd)

[sirens-wont-wake-me-up]

Hiii! Same anon as before, my day's been alot better actually, how about yours?

Also, sorry for the bother but I have a couple questions! Ofc if you don't want to answer you don't have to and this ask can be offered to the spirits of the tumblr trash XD

1) are the strawberries a kind of self inspo kind of thing? I've never seen anyone else talk about "safe foods" and I thought it was just a me thing idkk (mine are 🍊)

2) do you have any opinions on the glamorisation of eds on tumblr (such as thinspø etc)? Personally I think that although people should be able to express themselves without censorship, its pretty harmful to alot of people

(Love you too! ♡♡♡)

I've been doing good lately, nice to know you too. You are not bothering me, I love asks <3

Yes, strawberries are my safe food, sometimes it was the only thing I would accept to eat when my ED was on its toes. Also, it could make me feel at least a little better. But even if is my safe food, sometimes I wouldn't even want to eat that. I don't know if it was a me thing (if it's just autism or so) but I used to only want to eat pink food, so strawberry milk and strawberry made food used to make it easier for me.

For a very long time, I was on ED tumblr, and it has two sides, the pro ana, and the nice edblr. To be honest, I love it because it is a place full of nice people, they try to support each other even if all of them are suffering. The toxic side is the one that I first got into, but after a few months I found my way to the nice and friendly side of edblr. There's no to very little glamorization such as thinspo or meanspo, we like the harm reduction tips and stuff to ease people's suffering. So if you don't have someone to vent, it is a very good space, you just have to find the right side, because we use no tags and stuff to not be found, but sometimes our vent posts get out of the bubble and we get terminated because some random people confuses pro ana and vent blog.

If you want to vent, my dm is open, no judgement <3 if you want to just be friends, that's ok too, feel free to message me. I'd love to be friends if you want to.

[urlocalmentallyunstablegal]

long rant incoming, i’ll be talking abt therapy, ed relapse mainly (i may get side tracked lol) really just talking to myself publicly.

so, my therapist is taking a break and i haven’t seen her since last month. she told me to text her if i need support or if i’m in crisis but we all know i’m not gonna do it bc i don’t wanna bother her. last month i managed to reach 3 months without counting calories and stepping on the scale. honestly i was so proud of myself for this. ofc i gained weight but i was finally healthier, i was not just a shell of a human being. i was actually alive. but since i stopped restricting my anxiety become terrible to the point where i can’t go out by myself without headphones. i started getting more frequent panic attacks (which are honestly both physically and mentally draining). i feel like im trapped in a cycle - i manage my depression and anxiety, then i relapse in my ed, i work on my ed, my anxiety gets worse, i use all kinds of relief techniques, nothing helps, so i relapse again to numb my emotions. the day of my last therapy session i had to go to my hometown bc we had to do some renovations for the apartment we’re giving out for rent. we had to stay in a family friend’s house. i love her but she’s just so insensitive to me and my struggles. like she’d constantly say things like “oh your hygiene is terrible” “oh are you really eating this”. of course she had to make comments about my body and how i’ve gained weight, she also asked what happened with the diets i was doing. while we were there we met with my dad’s aunt and she also made comments about my body and how i’ve gained weight. and the thing is i was having pretty bad time with my body without all these comments from my relatives. i genuinely felt so uncomfortable about the weight gain. the day after we got back home i relapsed. i’m counting calories again, i’m avoiding high cal foods, fear foods start to appear again. i was in denial about my relapse but now i have to admit it - i’m relapsing and i hate myself even more. i genuinely feel like i’m such a failure. i’ve spent over 2 years in therapy and it’s all the same cycle over and over. i’m forever grateful for my current therapist bc she saved me from the darkest times of my life. i was actively suicidal and she was the only one who agreed to work with me despite my resistance to get better. i don’t remember much of this time period but she has told me that she was worrying about me in between sessions and every time i was 5 mins late she thought of the worse situation possible. anyways. now i just feel like i’m wasting my time and her time. what am i even doing? will things ever get better? and the thing is i want to recover at some point. this lifestyle is not sustainable. the health complications are not a joke. i’ve ruined so many relationships bc of my mental illness. i’m missing out on so many things. but i’m just terrified of letting it all go. i can’t deal with the weight gain. i can’t deal with all the emotions. what’s the point of even trying to recover when i’ll always end up in the exact same shitty situation?

[xweetok-starmap]

Had to clear out and put back together an entire storage closet today so that annual inspection people could check on the status of the water heater

During my cleaning of said closet I encountered a little box of pocket watches and stuff that I kept from my sister because she was getting rid of it, and because looking through them and holding all the watches & chains & stuff always filled me with memories and the sweetest, happiest sentimental love and warmth — but unfortunately with everything she’s said to me and how she’s treated me the last few months it just makes me really sad now That box has never ever made me sad so that kind of emotionally flatlined ~5 hours of my day

Did other cleaning up, tried to play more Fantasy Life i but was just feeling too unengaged to enjoy either crafting OR the story so I ended up playing Pokemon Puzzle League instead Reminded me heavily of my bio-dad and my uncle who had ALL of the nintendo 64 pokemon games (for the Pokemon Stadiums, once my uncle 100%ed everything he’d give the cartridge to my bio-dad so that I could play the game and have everything unlocked, was really nice) I played all of the N64 pokemon games And I very distinctly remember playing Puzzle League with them Got all these cute little memories of getting advice about making matches and being better at the game from them those many years ago, while I was getting better at the game today as I slowly played it and — geez the sudden speed 45 Butch and Cassidy level after doing 3 levels of Team Rocket line matches is insane, I’m pretty sure I remember those boys trying HARD (and failing) to beat that but — they ofc didn’t have Save States like I did to just. Keep going back to it 30 times in a row without having to do every level successfully in a row before getting another go. So that made me feel really fuzzy and warm and love-struck memories which was a great contrast to what had happened earlier

I’m not used to using a computer mouse, so my shoulders got really tight from using a mouse, and it was funny to notice when I used the big HoMedical massager over my full body tonight (I try to use it full body at least 4 days a week, it’s super helpful — if I could ONLY use the massager OR stretch I would choose the massager despite being a regular “spend 25-30 minutes doing big stretch routine” mage because it’s seriously that good) Using the massager on my calves — getting the massager to lay properly — is getting more difficult without it bouncing annoyingly off of my Top Of Leg Bone, and that’s the only reason that I know my calves are apparently shrinking Also apparently if I’m mildly hungry and using the massager on my abdominals above my stomach, the vibrations stimulate it in a way where I’m not hungry anymore for a small while, so that’s a Weird But Cool discovery

Still doing basically nightly DHT cream applications, is real cool since the spot behind the glans is large enough now that it actually needs its whole little lentil’s-worth bit of cream for its lonesome now, separate from the actual glans itself

Finally got around to using silicone tape/silicone gel again for my top surgery incisions. The tape works really well on the front of my chest but does NOT always work well for the sides of my chest & near my underarms. If I don’t cut it perfectly the corners always want to curl up constantly. The movement of my muscles combined with the incision location (only slightly below my nipple position) means that the tape has to be in multiple little pieces, which is awkward. Those quirks, combined with the fact that I’m using the silicone gel during time periods when I’m waiting for the silicone tape to dry anyway (it needs to be washed after 23 hours of wear, then it can be re-used), mean that I expect to get a lot of usage from the gel since it does NOT have curling or awkward muscle pulling issues. I might even switch to JUST using the gel and its convenience entirely if I reliably can’t get this particular silicone tape to cooperate?? (I got the previous tape to cooperate, but this brand is MUCH higher quality, that’s blatantly obvious. It’s just that it comes in strips, not rolls like my previous tape — so is more difficult to custom size).

Caught up with a friend randomly tonight which was nice

Frozen watermelon is still delightful, was suggested to try using salt on it to bring out the flavour, makes sense will try tomorrow

Overall, sure was A Day

[svicidal-sandwichmaker-slvt]

Hi it's that anon again!! I'd like to take 🎸 I guess! It's very sweet of you to ask<З

And yes I am a guy! I usually hear people assume I'm a sapphic woman when I talk about my gf on the internet because I'm more obsessed with her than straight men usually are about their gf's, and also sometimes get confused for a girl irl because of long hair, so I'm happy that that was your immediate assumption!!

I do think "ugly"(extremely loaded and subjective term btw, in fact I think my definition of ugly and pretty is at least a little different from the conventional ones) people deserve to be happy!! It's just that I care about pretty people more..? Sorry if that sounds mean. Like I'm never mean to someone because I find them unattractive but I do find it a lot easier and a lot more rewarding for me to help/support and in general be friends with people I find pretty. My driving force is love for pretty people not hate for "ugly" ones, and I know that by definition that's lookism too, but like in not really harming anyone am I..? I'm just choosing to help a specific group of people. I'm not killing anyone by not being friends with them, right..? (And please don't extrapolate that attitude of mine to society as a whole, while it can be lookist, I have long ago realized that I'm like exceptionally, to a weird extent, lookist when it comes to this specifically)

Also when a jirai girl feels she's "gaining weight" what she usually means is like going from bmi 19 to bmi 23 (if not literally gaining just 2kg that she will lose tomorrow) so I'm like 90% sure you'll be fine!! And please trust in your bf's love for you, especially if he himself confirms it!! You know how there is a saying "don't suffer in advance" when it comes to fearing something that might come in the future? Well my advice to you would to not feel unloved in theory; don't stress over something that you have been assured won't happen. In general the best policy in relationships in my opinion is to 100% trust in your love until proven otherwise, and to date people who won't prove otherwise<З While obviously feeling free to ask for reassurances! Hell one of the reasons I love my gf so much is because of how often she asks me for reassurances<З it makes me feel really impactful in her life and important to her if that makes..? Hopefully your bf has the same mindset about that.

Hii okay so you are anon🎸 now yippiee.

First of all I'm happy for your gf that you are so obsessed with her, that's how it should be!

My bf is similar in that manner. It's not that I don't trust him I just need a lot of reassurance because idk my past relationships have given me subconscious insecurities ig.

I once was in an abusive on off relationship for a year and at the end he told me he never loved me and was together with me out of pity. If that stayed with me.

No you are not harming anyone with your preference for people you surround yourself with. For myself I can't relate because even tho I do acknowledge when someone is really pretty I don't choose my friends or who to help based on how pretty I find them. But I can accept that other ppl do? Pretty privilege exists after all.

Idk how much the weight is since I am European and I don't follow the BMI since it has been shown to be an inaccurate scale on how healthy someone is. No I don't have resources lol.

NGL I also don't know how much I weight cuz I am low-key scared to step on a scale again since I am extremely pulled towards eating disorders and even tho I eat garbage rn(I try to be better) I am scared it will trigger another ed period.

All I can say is that a double chin as been building up and I would count that as being fat ngl.

But maybe I am a bit fatphobic (without being actually mean to fat ppl ofc. More towards myself) in a way you prefer pretty people? Like I mean no harm and I don't hurt anyone...?

Btw are you the person that commented to DM him under my last response to you??

I don't think so but I wanna make sure

[tinylittlebab]

im feeling very pathetic today

my head has hurt so much today. i hate having chronic migraines:/ and what i hate most is that i gotta eat food with the ibuprofen

oh well. i went outside and exercised despite is being -8 degrees with -26 wind chill because theres something wrong with me. not even the ed stuff. i just simply cannot function if i dont go outside and skip around a daydream sometime everyday.

recalculated all my tdee stuff to check everything. 1460 for sedentary and with my usual exercise its between 2000-2100. thats about how much i eat without restricting or anything. just eating whatever i want whenever. i just exercise a whole lot.

i feel wrong for picking high numbers but i exercise far more than the average person and lower numbers are very difficult bc of that bc i will not compromise and exercise less. exercise is usually more effective anyway.

well. anyway. im going to do a gradual lowering bc i work and i dont wanna suddenly cut out a bunch of calories and have problems at work bc of it. its really not a big deal if its slow anyway. its most likely to still and be maintainable if i go slow. im trying to convince myself its ok. not like anybody is actually saying to me high res is evil. its just my own brain.

i dont understand why i so badly want to be disordered and why i have for so many years. im already underweight. its not enough though. well. i dont wanna make it about the calories i do eat. i wanna make it about the numbers i lose and the deficit.

honestly. most of my actual real care about how much i eat has always come from if other people are aware of it. otherwise its just me and to me if its just my opinion then id rather just exercise more and get the deficit that way. and i dont think theres anything bad about going slowly for myself.

but then i think about other people seeing it and like. i desperately want other people to see me as someone who barely eats. someone who lost a bunch of weight quickly. someone who they wish would stop losing weight. i want them to just be able to tell something is wrong. ofc since i only have 15 pounds to lose that wont ever happen. going below 85 is much more dangerous so im really gonna try not to let myslef want that. instead i wanna maintain 85. and i wanna be seen as that person who never eats and is super small and frail and pretty.

but i dont know anyone. im not going to know anyone. there is nobody to notice or think this. so whats the point in tryna make it happen immediately. might aswell do it the slower better way. and then i can maintain the weight easier. and its less miserable.

honestly im aiming for a below 15 bmi i should stop being mad at myself for not being anorexic enough. literally shut up stupid

[the-crow-binary]

@aslgit hell yeah more excuses for me to talk about my OC!! Let's gooooo!!

I do think Trevor must've written about Hector, because the Belmonts are a family who takes their legacy very seriously. Writing down everything they learn for the future generations to use and continue the fight. I even imagine they possess books they did not write that concerns dark arts, not for the sake of learning how to use them, but learning about them. It can be very useful to fight ennemies that uses said dark arts.

However, if we choose that Trevor's story about Hector is still taught and known by Simon's time, there's a little difference between having an ally who practice black magic... And having your own family member being filled with dark magic, just waiting to unleash. It does happen sometimes that your family accepts someone for being/doing X, but YOU being/doing X?? Now that's too far!!

Even if Hector's story is told to those born into the family, there's still those who are married into the family, and weren't told everything. Everyone might feel a little different about a Belmont baby born with dark powers. Not to mention the Belmonts are a religious family, so that + constantly fighting the night... even if Hector and Alucard exist(ed), it makes their relationship with Dark Arts and black magic in general pretty complicated. Like, not totally opposed if it's an ally who uses it, but feels weird and could do without it and would definitely not choose to use it themself kind of complicated lol. Devil forging is particuliarly blasphemous, but it's not like they knew from the beginning what kind of power Benedict held. They just knew it was dark and big.

Benedict's case is even more delicate, because he was born so shortly after the Belmonts finally got the people to trust in them (Simon is literally still there), after centuries of fighting for them and still being cast out. This peace they obtained is so new and fragile, they wouldn't want to risk breaking it, Simon especially... He's very pressured with the duty to keep his family safe and strong. There can hardly be a worst time to be born cursed. ❤️

In both this version of events, and the canonical story for Benedict, Simon not only blames himself for Benedict's curse (thinking it's the consequences of Dracula's curse on him, wich might be true ❤️), but he also gets very concerned about keeping the peace with the people. He doesn't want his family to continue suffer like him and his ancestors did, there's too much at stake. So they have to keep Benedict's power and curse a secret (oh, friendly reminder that, in good Devil Forgemaster fashion, animals like wolves and snakes and crows are attracted to Benedict, wich could be seen as creepy by some ❤️). In the canon version of events, it comes in the form of hiding Benedict from the world, just to be extra sure no one knows a cursed baby was born in their holy family (not even their extended family members). It could ruin their freshly earned reputation and put everyone, Benedict included, at risk. That's why the only people who know about him are those who are living in the house.

Also, important detail from how little I actually wrote for Benedict's story (😭): his soul was so cursed and his dark power so great that when he was born, it smothered everyone present for a few seconds. So it's not just a matter of Benedict having unusual powers, they could all feel the "danger" he represented from the start. ❤️ (It then disappeared, but they could tell this power was still there, sleeping inside him. And they couldn't tell the consequences if it was to awaken)

But anyway. In this version, they still decide to raise him normally. But teaching him to use his dark powers would be out of the question, it's too risky (they don't antagonize Benedict for his powers though, ofc). Instead, they try to teach him normal or even holy magic, wich doesn't work (i like to imagine him hurting himself if he tries to use holy magic, in every version. Cuz it's funny. 🥰), but well, Simon doesn't know magic himself, and he still fucking kicked ass. 💪 So it's mostly a matter of teaching him every Belmont techniques they can, while teaching him to hide and even suppress his dark powers (wich doesn't feel right for Benedict, but he wants to make his family proud and keep them safe)... But at the end of the day, the VK still burns him, because he's still cursed to the core. So much it doesn't recognize him as a Belmont, not even a random guy, but as an ennemy.

I hope it makes sense ❤️

On that note... Hmmm... 👀 Benedict being secretely helped and taught by his family to use and control his dark powers... 👀 So he can use them for good.... 👀 Wich would be healthier for Benedict than fighting against his own nature, but still risky for everyone.... 👀 Hmmmmm... 👀 I'm already imagining ways of how things could still go wrong haha. ❤️

Thinking about Benedict, and though in his official story (that I really should continue writing one day...) he is kept hidden and barely allowed outside his whole childhood, and tries to touch the VK at about 10 year old (shortly before they learn about his mother's new pregnancy) wich burns his hand... I can't help but imagine a different scenario. Where he is allowed to live "normally" and train like any Belmont before him, just has to be extra careful and keep his cursed nature hidden (wich is still a huge weight on his shoulders), until he makes it to his coming of age ceremony.

Everything goes well, until comes the moment where Simon passes the VK onto him... And that is when it reacts violently and burns him. Right in front of everybody. ❤️

Of course the whole event is ruined. Benedict, along with being badly hurt, is ashamed and humiliated and confused. People around him get scared and just as confused, wariness starts to grow... but above all, Benedict feels deep injustice for the years he spent doing his best to make his family and ancestors proud, to hide his true self, only to still be deemed unworthy by their own whip. He's so lost and angry...

I like the idea of Juste, as another long-lasting effect of Dracula's curse on Simon, being born more fragile than other Belmonts before him. So, with this in mind, Benedict would have put in double the efforts to make sure he'd be the one to inherit the whip and the heavy heritage that comes along with it. So he could keep his lil bro safe and offer him a more normal life (yay, Benedict/Maxim parallel!)... So he'd feel even more miserable. Because the VK needs to be passed down, and Juste is the only other choice they have (he'd be 5/6 at this point).

Anyway I love my boy. ❤️

[memecucker]

Ironically the sex ed I had at all-boys Catholic high school was more open and free than anything that would’ve been permitted in public schools (because the teacher went rogue and no one was a snitch)

Basically sophomore year I had Scriptures class in Spring semester and the school had the mandatory sex ed unit be a two-week unit in Scripture (lol). The normal Scripture teacher quit the school without warning during Winter break so the school scrambled and just put a 28-year old assistant soccer coach in charge and I’m pretty sure the guy hadn’t read the Bible cover to cover before but whatever that’s what assistant coaches are for right? Anyway when it came time for sex ed he just straight up told everyone we’re not gonna be using the diocese-approved text books that try to scare you away from condoms and he just sat down and was like “Ok guys, I’ve been around and have experience with this stuff so just fire off any questions you have” and it was legitimately really good like kids would ask literally any question about sex or dating and he’d do his best to answer like “is it true if a girl has sex a lot her vagina gets loose?” or “what’s up with really weird porn where people don’t even have sex?” or “I really like it when my girlfriend gives me head but she hates the taste of cum is there anything I can do to help improve it?” and he was perfectly willing to contradict the Church on things like contraception it was like a real zero-judgement environment and he was pretty knowledgeable about this stuff and ofc no one fucking snitched on the cool teacher so it was pretty cool