ireallyhatemyself-ao3

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Ik the post is almost two years old, but would you still take one shot commissions?

Yes!! I'm quite busy being a full-time Uni student unfortunately, but (depending on the request, haha) I'm more than willing to take on a commission so long as the requester is alright with a wait time <33

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Roy's a little distracted...

For those who can't read my awful handwriting lol, the text goes:

Jean: Woah, the boss looks so serious... Kain: He's been like that all day. (he hasn't even touched any of his paperwork...) Jean: I wonder what's got 'im thinking so hard... Meanwhile, in Roy's mind: ((he) can't stop thinking about last night)

I have a 600-ish page book I really need to finish reading for this summer research thingy, but I'm procrastinating so clearly the best course of action was drawing sussy royed fanart---because obviously 💀💀 Oml, seriously tho, I should be JAILED for this, lmasjkd. Unironically some of the most scandalous fanart I've ever made, so it was legitimately embarrassing af to draw, askjd. Not very demure.

(and as always, bonus closeup of Ed's eyes!! <33)

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Pov: you are Maes and you keep catching Ed look at Roy like this

Lmao, Ed be staring longingly/achingly/tragically/traumatically/etc FOR REAL, asjkd. For those who don't know, this is a sketch inspired by my angsty time-travel au fic 'I Promise I Won't Leave You This Time' (or as I like to call it for short, ipiwlytt, lmaoo). AND I FINALLY UPDATED IT!! (guys, she's always so late smh (she being me), asjkdh) But yayyy, you can read the new chapter here!

Also, I sincerely want to thank my kofi supporters from Jan. 11 and April 10th (@ anon and @Sikorskys16, respectively)!! <333 I didn't forget about either of you two for a single day, and I'm so grateful for your support ;w; The idea that anyone at all would ever go out of their way to donate means the world to me, and I can't thank you enough!! This sketch of mine and update def goes out to you, and to everyone else who has been enjoying this fic---I appreciate y'all's readership sm! (criii)

(Also, as always, here's a closeup of Ed's face for extra angst serotonin, lol.)

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Guys, wake up, new pfp just dropped! 🗣️🗣️📢📢️‍🔥️‍🔥

Lmao new (middle of the) year new me ig!! So i've had this goofy profile pic of a shiba inu dog in a suit (?? like...for why??) since baby high school years (I'm pretty sure I had to use it for this one online dual-credit college class account thingy, because that was the reason it was somewhat 'professional' lmao), and it just carried over when baby high-school-me made my ao3 account and has stayed ever since for like nooooo reason, lmao. I'm procrastinating on some college finals rn (for anyone keeping track, I keep goofing up and am doing a SECOND summer study abroad program as if the first one didn't absolutely leave me burnt out since 2023, lmaosidja), so I'm trying to finally catch up with all my notifs and I just BARELY perceived my pfp like a brand new person and realized how random it was, lmoasjdah. So! Just to freshen up the acc a little, I thought I'd change my pfp into something with a *little* more intention behind it, lol, so here's a sketch of Ed (obviously my fav of all time, embarrassingly enough) that I did LIKE A YEAR AGO, LMAO. I'm so late to everything guys, mb 💀

Bonus, another sketch I did around the same time! Those of you who've read 'I Promise I Won't Leave You This Time' will know which scene this one is referencing 💀💀 lmaoooo, I can see why I never posted these originally, askdjhaskjd (why am I so obsessed with Ed being sad??! help??)

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Breath sweat and tears trilogy. That's all I have to say :) really love your writing hope you can update again in at most 3 years 🥺

Lmaoo, you're so real for that. Thanks so much for being patient! ;v; 3 years is honestly such an accurate and gracious deadline, lol---I def would like to update it within that time too! I plan on finishing it eventually, for sure, so hopefully the next update will be within the year. I'm happy you've enjoyed it so much, too <33

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Hello my favorite author!

Are you still working on the breath, swear and tears trilogy??

You better be...

Just kidding, take your time (life is stressful)

Lots of love,

I_Really_Don't_Know12

Hello! I've been such an inactive ghost lately (oops---) since college life has just been crazy busy (but good tho!!), so thanks for being patient enough for this rlly belated reply!! ;w; And haha, I'm totally still planning to finishing it! I'm def just going to take forever, unfortunately, ripp. Also, to be honest with you, I think my main priority fic is 'I Promise I Won't Leave You This Time,' for fma, but I really hope to return to the demon slayer fic eventually! Tysm for your continued support and patience <333 (life is def stressful lol, I hope you're taking care of yourself!!)

Lots of love too,

Arie

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

some thick pen sketchies of some fluffy RoyEd :')) Maybe I'll color the rest and repost it later!

(can you tell I apparently can't stick to an art style?? lmaosaskdja)

ALSO GUYS I LIVE AAA (sorry i've been ghosting for like a year lol, oof;;)

first of all---THANK YOU SO MUCH TO THE BEAUTIFUL SOUL THAT DONATED $9 TO MY KOFI AUG 16!! <33 I'm so touched and I didn't forget about it for a single day! Sorry it took me so long to get around to acknowledging it ;w; to that person out there, you're the best, thank you <3

next---I FINALLY UPDATED MY FIC!! See the next chapter of the angsty I Promise I Won't Leave You This Time here! https://archiveofourown.org/works/30540108/chapters/128097235

it's been busy lately but I've been good and I hope y'all enjoy the update!! <3

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Hi! I really love your fanfics (I've only read 2: Breath, and Sweat) and they are FANTASTIC :D I think they are flawless! But I've heard news of a Rengoku x Tanjiro... FR?! Tanjiro's gonna cheat?! Oh well. I hope the flame hashira's good in bed ;) anyways just wanna congratulate for the amazing work, take your time (but plz not to long), and have a great life. You seem like a very nice person and would def wanna be friends.

Love, Ash

P.S. plz draw lower... god im cringe but fr how big is Giyu??

AAA, oml this reply is so late but aaa tysm!! <3 and lol NAUR the way I'm being exposed rn, lmaooasdhkjash. I'm happy to hear you really enjoyed the fic though!! And lol, I haven't abandoned the series, but I haven't had time to work on it much yet but yes! There will be some Rengoku x Tanjiro during a brief breakup period, heehee. It'll actually be quite angsty tho, so I hope you're ready for that! And aww, thanks so much for the kind words. You seem like a very nice person too! <3

Love, Arie

(ALSO ASDKJHSAKJ, YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THAT LMAOOSDKJAS)

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

TO THE PERSON WHO BOUGHT ME MY FIRST COFFEE ON KO-FI—OML I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HOMIE!!! <3333 THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! (Bro I literally cannot put into words how much getting the notif MADE my day—it’s been lowkey rough here irl and it like took me out of this lowkey depressed daze I’ve been living in. Like I haven’t had any time to write fanfic or draw for months, but today I managed to make time for it just to finish these sketches and I just cannot tell you how much I appreciate your generosity ;v;) I CRIIII. TYSM <333333

LOOK I EVEN GOT AN ACHIEVEMENT LIKE A VIDEOGAME 

https://ko-fi.com/F1F6BQF1S?achievement=true&og=ogFirstKofi

I honestly wasn’t expecting much when I made that ko-fi account, and just the idea that someone went out of their way to donate just blows my mind—to whoever you are, I’M SO GRATEFUL. YOU’RE THE BEST.

In celebration of my first-ever coffee gifted, I’m posting some art!! This is a sketch of Ed I made a LONG time ago about a moment in the upcoming chapter in ‘I Promise I Won’t Leave You This Time’ (unfinished and unposted atm, oof. Coming soon, though!!). Roy’s reaction hadn’t been drawn yet so that’s what I managed to whip up today! I was originally going to wait until I updated the fic to post these sketches, but I’ve taken so long anyways—so might as well drop it now, akjsdhaksj. To the person who donated (ILYSM HOMIE <333) and to everyone else who reads my work—I’d like to once again promise that none of it is abandoned!! I’m just busy (and slow) ;w; Thank you so much for your continued patience, and I hope to get something to y’all real soon!!

(Also, again to the person who gave me the coffee—idk what work of mine led to here, but I hope FMA was one of them if only so that this post with new RoyEd sketches can be a show of my thanks <333)

And because I am obsessed with Ed’s cat-eyes (as y’all know), here is a close up, lmaoisdkjash

Okay, gotta do finals now (lmao, oof)—stay safe, lots of love!!

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

hey i’m so sorry to bother you, i’m here from ao3 from ur demon slayer trilogy. I was just wondering if you still plan on making part 3

btw i love your work sssssm you write so beautifully

the smut is INSANE, who knew biting is hot

anyway, sorry to bother you x hope all is good

Oml, you're not bothering me!! Thank you so much for reaching out! <3

As for the trilogy, I do still plan on making part 3 (as well as finishing part 2, heehee.) The only thing is that I'm really busy these days and unfortunately don't have nearly as much time as I'd like for writing fanfic, so there's probably going to be a really long wait to be honest. Same thing goes for my other works as well ;v; I appreciate y'all's patience so much, though!

AND AAAA TYSM!! It makes me so happy to know you liked it, haha---and aksjdhakjsd, that's so embarrassing for me lmao, but thank you so much for your kind words! AND SAMEEE---I didn't realize I was that into biting until I wrote it lmaoosjdak (I mean, whatt?? Whoooooo said that?? asjkdhask)

Lol, fr tho, thanks so much! I hope all is good with you too! ^^

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

OPENING SMUTTY FANFIC COMMISSIONS

Hey guys! If you follow me for any of my ongoing fics---don’t worry!! I am still working on those! Life is busy (and expensive), so I decided to open oneshot fanfic commissions! I figured it would be a great way to stay active in the community with shorter, more manageable, works. And it’s up to y’all what I write! It could be completely smutty (or not), and up to 10,000 words! More details below:

First of all, logistics: 

I will be officially accepting one request at a time, but feel free to request anything and I’ll let you know if I’ll take or waitlist it. DM me here on tumblr and we can talk---it’s really chill! 

If you get the go-ahead (from me) that your request will be accepted, pls go to my ko-fi at ireallyhatemyself to pay! (there’s only one slot available, so pls do not use it unless I explicitly say that I will be accepting your request---thank you! (straight up Paypal is also an option, though not preferred.))

The base price is $20. I understand if a twenty bill is too much to spare for some, but I also need to allocate my time--and 10,000 words is nearly 40 pages double spaced! I’ll do 5,000 minimum, but I definitely need the 5,000-10,000 range because I honestly work best when I have the space to develop the story, and I take that long to build up to it even if it’s just pwp, lol.

If you are paying for a commissioned fic, I will still post it on ao3 for free for the public, and tag it as commission. If you’re good with these terms, feel free to request the oneshot of your dreams! 

In terms of requests, nearly anything goes! If you’re not sure if I’ll take it, just ask! If what you’re asking more is too much/not really feasible, we can totally negotiate and work it out. For really smutty requests in particular, I will probably add charges depending on how many kinks/content warnings it will have; again, though, we can figure it out together. Just DM me!  

HONESTLY, I will only take requests I am comfortable with writing (surprisingly, I am not referring to kinks or smut here; I’m pretty chill with nearly everything there, lol). If I do not know the character/fandom well enough to do what I believe is a good job writing them, I won’t do it at all. Some popular fandoms I will definitely write for include (but not limited to):

My Hero Academia 

Attack on Titan

Harry Potter 

Marvel (mostly Spiderman tbh, lol) 

Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood OR 2003)

I cannot possibly list all the animes/videogames/shows I enjoy, so PLEASE feel free to just ask if I’d write for a certain fandom, even if it isn’t listed here! 

On the flipside, and when it specifically comes to smut, if I’m too passionate about an OTP, I will most likely refuse requests that use the ship in a dynamic I don’t personally agree with, lmao (being 100 real with y’all). For example, if the ship for the pwp oneshot is BakuDeku, then Bakugou better be the top is all I’m sayin’, askjdh (again, this is more for your sake than mine---I want to do a good job writing, and I fear it’ll be difficult for me to do so if I’m actively against the ship/ship dynamic). I will definitely try to be flexible and consider everything, though! As always, I’m also always down to negotiate and work with a request---so never shy away from just asking me! 

If you decide to make a request, pls consider DMing me answers to these questions to help us speed along the process! 

fandom? (see above list of accepted fandoms, or ask first)

ship? (including dynamic; ex. dom/sub; top/bottom if pwp lol)

au/post-cannon/etc.?? (ex. cafe au)

tropes? (ex. meet cute)

pretend you're tagging this work on ao3: what tags would you include/want/use??

the MOST important question: do you want this to be a pwp? (if so, then there will be a whole other questionnaire regarding what you want out of the smut that I will DM you, lol)

in general, what do you want? Feel free to be as vague or specific as you want! (Just keep in mind, my hard cap is 10k words, and I'll let you know if I'm not willing to write something or don't think it's feasible <3)

For anyone who has never read my work before, feel free to check out my page here! For those specifically wanting to see my smut-writing abilities---which I have been told are apparently pretty bussin’ lol---please feel free to check out this second chapter of a Demon Slayer smut fic (which is a single chapter, may I say, that is literally mostly pwp and about 10,000 words alone, lmao) here!! 

Due to my busy-ness (full time college student), I haven’t been able to post nearly as much as I’d like on ao3, so I only have 7 (mostly long and ongoing) works as of right now. Still, for those who have never read me, some stats I am proud to share are:

most kudos/hits on a single work: 2,304/38,236

most comments on a single work: 438

most words on a single work: 106,482  

Thank you so much to anyone who considers requesting! It would really help me start posting more oneshots and broaden my work in general, and any pay is super appreciated! Have a great dayyy <3333

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Sweet talking gone dirty?? 

What is Roy telling him? 0///0

(help, i’m procrastinating on my finals, so here’s some random RoyEd) 

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Oh no, I made another angstyy thingggg ;v; 

It’s a wip of this animatic I’ve had in mind for my fanfic ‘I promise I won’t leave you this time,’ and it’s lowkey spoilers but I can’t help myself, asjdhajksd. I also finally updated after months!! You can check out the new chap here: 

Chapter 12: Still Alive 

Summary:  Edward remembers something he wishes he didn't (again.)

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Edward secretly wished for Roy to notice his suffering already. He wished for Roy to say something, close the distance between them, hold his face, caress his cheek, gently swipe his thumb underneath the cut, say ‘I’m sorry.’

Roy never did.

A drawing of a hypothetical scene from chapter 10 of my angsty Royed fic :’) 

I know I said that the next chap was mostly written, but I accidently keep writing more than I meant so it’s still taking a while to get that entire thing together, oof. Thanks for everyone’s patience on that end! For now, here’s some art to hold you over <33

Idk why, but drawing Ed’s face gives me so much serotonin so here’s a close up lmaoosdjasj

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

your suffering is my suffering

.

.

.

Another updated chapter on my angsty RoyEd and another arts today!!

This one is nothing to do with the update tho and is actually lowkey spoilers for the *next* chapter lmaooooo. I couldn’t help myself-- the moment I wrote it I needed to draw it ;v;

This scene isn’t there yet, but you can read the newest chapter (ch. 11- Lies) here!!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30540108/chapters/102469467

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

Me:  *writing the fanfic* Ed woke up with his hair a tangled mess, and very tired, sleep-deprived, hug-deprived, a total wreck, etc. etc.

Also me: *drawing him* UM ACTUALLY Ed’s kinda drop dead gorgeous 24/7 and 365 days without even trying ajsdhakjsdh  

lmaoooo, anyways, I feel a lot more comfortable using procreate now so here’s my new favorite style-- sketchy pen!! Ofc I had to draw grownup!Ed with it first, lol. This is his ‘just-woke-up’ fit that he’s been in the last two chapters of my angsty Royed fic; you can read the latest (and angstiest) chapter posted a few days ago here!! 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/30540108/chapters/101935437 

It’s chapter 10, ‘Brittle Glass,’ and it’s literally the WORST part so far (emphasis on so far), and definitely a big oof moment indeed, so pls heed the tags if you read it! 

Also I promise I’ll eventually draw Roy--- as you can tell I just have a bit of an Ed bias ajskdhaskjdh  

[ireallyhatemyself-ao3]

New chapter (Ch. 9) up on the angsty Royed!! Shouting out the GORGEOUS comic strips by @jjyany and @justafaller in the author’s note and featuring a beautiful rendition of a scene also by jjyany!!

Thanks so much again for the incredible fanart! ;w; Also big thanks to everyone’s who’s been patient for the update-- this one is almost 20 pages!!

A little teaser: 

I'd forgotten I could be this happy, Edward thought. The idea didn't really fit, though, as if detached from the rest of reality.

He... could be happy?

Why did the thought feel so wrong? So out of place?

Edward and Roy were still smiling at each other, and the moment abruptly flashed, like a picture. Colors bled apart. Everything froze.

Suddenly, the warmth vanished, and it was cold, and dark, and—    

The first thing Edward woke to was pain.