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moodyseal · 1 year

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I know I'll sound like a lunatic but I miss working in customer service SO MUCH. My favourite thing was when a random customer would approach me and go "Hey uh excuse me, do you know where I could find canned beans?" I have no fucking clue sir let's go find out

#it was so funny because #that supermarket was massive and my brain was too small to account for all the times they changed the products' positions #i - of course - never told them any of that #so the scene was always me leading the way while trying to act like i knew where i was going #and the customer following me. both of us completely clueless #sometimes they would ask me if i could go get more of a certain product because they forgot and let me tell you #i would SPRINT from behind the register #at that moment i became their errand boy #they joked a lot with me #offered me coffee a lot #there was this nice lady who told me she made necklaces as a hobby #and she told me she'd bring me one next time she came #sadly that was my last week so i never saw her again #anyway. perfect job for people pleasers would recommend 10/10 #ofc there were many assholes and i almost cried once but the nice people always fixed everything #lonely thoughts

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hythlodaes · 2 months

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i don’t know how much understanding emile would have for the endless, tbh. everything about it feels so cruel to him—taking away people’s memories to spare them pain, taking living people to keep the dead propped up and half-alive in a daydream.

so much about his loss has shaped him into who he is, and though he’d love to see his father again, he would never give up the memory of him. he lives on in emile, who fights to make him proud and honor him in all that he does….

#IDK emile wouldn’t be the wol if his father hadn’t died protecting him #and while part of it was twisted up in vengeance #so much of it was. my father was a good man. i will be too.#that is his blood !!!#nothing you could offer him would make him give that up #i’ve been thinking about emilien discussing this too #bc who would estinien be without the memory of his family?#and where would they be without loss bonding them together ?#and i think for emile too. the thought of losing estinien is unbearable #but the thought of forgetting him???#absolutely kills him #ANYWAY #i feel like im a little confused about the whole thing bc like.#logistically it doesn’t make a ton of sense to me #and maybe i missed something #but i feel like the ppl of alexandria would have to know they’re missing something #or are they really walking around with holes in their memory #not questioning like. hmm guess i never had a father. ??? ?#anyway…again !#i think i had this as one of my DT questions in my inbox #but my brain let those go #i’ve jus been thinking about this a lot #and now to have coffee o7 #ffxiv #dawntrail spoilers #oc: emile jenidaut

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luunare · 7 days

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i've never been reached out to by a god. spirits, sure; ghosts, maybe. but never a god.

and i certainly have never spoken to a god, and the times i've recieved any sort of message or sign from a god [though i do question those, too] i can count on one hand.

i'm agnostic and a skeptic; i question my beliefs all the time. though, when all is said and done, metaphors are real and useful concepts, and worshiping and dedicating at least some of my time to the divine has helped me. but this comes with a certain lack of certainty lol.

i communicate one way; me to them. i never request signs, messages, and i certainly never try to use divination to speak directly to the gods. this is a personal decision, and do not expect anyone else to make the same choice.

but all this to say, i've seen plenty of people on here ask about receiving signs, messages, words from the gods. asking about if they should wait to be called. i've even seen people suggest you ask permission from the gods to worship them.

there's a power in choosing the gods you worship. there's a kindness, a love, when you give a piece of yourself to the god/s and say i'm here! do you think the average worshiper in ancient times waited for a response? waited to be picked, called upon, or chosen? no, i don't think so. there's a certain power in that, and i understand the desire to be wanted by a god, but i truly despise the idea that a god will reject you; i hate the idea that a god will turn you away.

not that a certain god might not be the guide that you need at a certain time, but that a god will outright tell you no? that's just terrible.

#lunare speaks #i understand this is my own thoughts and feelings #but i don't think we should be telling young or new worshipers that the gods will reject you #if you don't go through the 'right' steps before worshiping; and this includes more than what i mentioned above #worship faith and practice are deeply personal #and i think we should do research and give all the due respect to any and all entities we encounter or reach out to #but i don't think we should have to ask or wait because this can lead to a whole lot of bad or a whole lot of hurt #i mean telling people to wait to be chosen literally feels like the beginnings of a cult to me?#and telling them they can and will be rejected before they find the 'right' deity feels like it can be exploited for money #by diviners who offer services #idk these are my ramblings pre-coffee so. take what you will i guess #tags>#hellenic polytheism #helpol #rompol #roman polytheism #religio romana #deity work #deity worship

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beliscary · 6 months

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i owe her my life vs. my life ended in the dominion, fight

#by admission he believes he still had a life to owe/offer in exchange(/return to...?) before origin rose #so the follow up... he words in a way that people can believeeee he means The Big Event. and he does kind of mean it.#but he double talks a lot. u feel me. and round 2 sealed the deal for him.#like. u know. yeah #[coughs blood]#im saying terence is his life and he states it twice openly and im staring at the wall of my kitchen while my coffee goes cold about it

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du-hjarta-skulblaka · 20 days

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I have had a VERY busy week (positive but very very socially draining) and I am ABOUT to have a few days of work and then ANOTHER very busy week (work, 2 different appointments and a job interview) and I just wanna take a moment and remind myself that I may take longer to do things than average but im still DOING them and it's. Okay to still feel tired several days after making a phonecall

#idk im having a lil moment of clarity/calm in the middle of.#what feels like a storm of there Always Being Something that i need to do #and thats never gonna go away but its okay to take a breather here and there to help me keep pushing at it #feeling very positive today bc i got offered an interview for a youth councillor role locally #the main problem with it is its 20 hours a week and a 6 month contract. so i cant leave my current job for it #BUT it would allow me to reduce my hours a bit doing something hopefully less emotionally intense #the coffee shop below us ia recruiting again too which. isnt the best look tbh but i think if im doing two jobs id rather #have one there bc like. ive done fast food #i know i can handle it at its worst for at least a while and the bougie coffee place isnt likely to hit those peaks #so yeah! lots of stuff going on lots to do #definitely not talking to friends as much as i should be #but heres kind of why i guess and currently at least im. feelin pretty good!#we also made it through last month without asking for help #which. is huge but being undercut a little by me spending more than i intended and being mega nervous abt it #not sure how this month is gonna go. but. baby steps.

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lavenderstemssss · 23 days

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#messaged work crush a lot today #wasn’t feeling the best and he offered to get me lunch or coffee #but baby really couldn’t eat anything I’d would have probably puked 😭#but he’s so cute when he acted concerned about me 🥰

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whenthegoldrays · 4 months

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🩷

#don't think that i take for granted the fact that i was born into the happiest marriage/family in our entire extended clan #this family (on both sides) is rife with divorce and rebellious children and couples that have lost their spark and always seem sad #and sure my parents bicker on occasion and have teir frustrations like any couple #but they're in love! still! after 28 years!!! they're each other's best friends #and the three of us get along so wonderfully and we're always laughing together there is LOVE in this household #but that's just so vanishingly rare it feels like #none of my friends are this close to their parents #and idk i feel like most of the couples we know (not all but most) don't have the kind of happiness my parents have #so i'm in between having a huge appreciation for where i am in life #and fear that i'll never find something like that myself #like sometimes i just think too deeply about it and it feels so difficult so impossible #“this happens once every few lifetimes”#but then i think i'm just being paranoid and actually we DO know lots of very happy enduring couples #that CAN be me #but in a way it's just all a game of chance isn't it #no doubt someone out there would be a good fit for me but what if i never meet him #what if we just. miss each other #there's such a fine line between finding true love and eternal solitude #it can be anything a messed up coffee order a dinner you get invited to a job offer you accept #but you never know what it'll be!!!! and that's so scary!!!!!!!!!#okay i think i'm just making myself feel worse so i'll stop here and go to bed #but just. yea. food for thought on this night of my parents' anniversary #elly's posts

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lilac-multifandom-multishipper · 5 months

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Cay cay…

GOD FINALLY. okay, so for my purposes (simping) he's bi (masc lean) bc i can feel like any gender at any time but. masc lean. and also it just fits and he wouldn't be as specific with labels as i am, i don't think. and he's probably transmasc (or maybe genderfluid?) because gOD THE EFFECT THAT WOULD HAVE ON HIS LORE. his sisters wanting him to be into typically feminine, cutesy stuff like them?? ELEVATED BY TRANSNESS. as most things are...

also t4t ftw

#it’s an ask!!#honeydew!!#ask game #after top surgery i think he would offer me some of his old binders...and probably burn the rest #and lots of cuddles on bad dysphoria days!! i will make him the spiciest ramen...or at least try. and he would ask trey to make me sweets!!#holding onto him from behind bc he can't handle anything touching his chest but needs to feel me there...i have a lot of thoughts about thi #i can't handle spice and he hates sweets. he's black coffee and i'm a caramel macchiato. i'm strawberry syrup and he's sriracha.#we both like dark chocolate though. it's the only type he'll eat :)

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nexus-nebulae · 5 months

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so like. lately I've been feeling like there's some kind of Thing living in this house with me, like a spirit or creature or something, and i feel like it's been here a long time bc of how long things have been going missing in this house with no explanation. and i noticed when i got really badly sick i lost something and it made me like. sob uncontrollably bc it was important. and then i started Finding things in odd places. so i started thanking the mysterious entity. and now I'm finding More Stuff more often. and like i feel strange for believing in this entity bc I've always been told believing in pagan things is childish (??????) and feel awkward thanking it but also i Want To bc it's polite. anyway i wanna like. leave a little offering or something but don't know what would be appropriate bc i also dont know what entity this is

#first thought is like. house fairies #I've always thought it was something fae related i think?#but like i. don't really know a lot about real fairy folklore bc of all the Media I've consumed #i don't really know what's accurate and what isn't #like sometimes fairies are depicted as extremely powerful and like. human sized #sometimes they're just tiny little trickster guys #and also i don't know what folklore like. applies to me if that makes sense?????#im White™ and whatever culture my ancestors had was scrubbed away to force jesus in instead and i don't know how much my blood matters #I'm mostly german and welsh and was raised like. loosely catholic #and the word appropriation has been watered down so much by The Internet that i can never tell if I'm Doing That anymore #I'm just scared to do literally anything bc what if someone says i am #but also i feel very very drawn to certain myths and stories and entities and feel like letting that go would tear me apart in a way #like I'd just lose something and there'd be a hole that couldn't be filled by any other belief #I've TRIED to fit in other beliefs but they just don't click #i dunno. im scared of doing something wrong but it feels like home to me #anyway i want to leave an offering to this Entity in my house to thank it for returning some things #but dunno what i could use #do you think a fairy would appreciate lactose free vanilla coffee creamer. we dont have normal milk #i also wonder if candy would work. i have a ton of chocolate and caramel #though i also wonder if the Entity is stealing candy from the jars on my windowsill #i wouldn't mind that i don't mind sharing

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toytulini · 5 months

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god that "morning people are an oppressive class" post annoys me in some way i cant. quite. ugh

#toy txt post #it doesnt feel quite right to me...........#maybe im just a Morning Person. lol. lmao even #idk how much that is true vs in high school i felt very much like a morning person bc #i was taking my adderall with coffee and then it would all wear off right at the end of the day and id crash soooo hard and have like.#anxiety attacks every night and just be generally overstimulated and irritable as hell #which is mostly managed now by me trying to be smarter about caffeine consumption (amount + when) and on a lower dose of adderall #but it does feel like a lot of that shit mentioned would be adequately covered by like. being able to take time off work to go to the #doctor etc. idk #im half joking these days when i ID as a morning person but legally none of you are allowed to get up my ass about it🔪#bc of the nocturnal bullshit i pulled on second shift for like 3yrs after everything around me decided to start closing early after the #pandemic hit even tho theyve re lifted every other miniscule precaution they ever enforced #probably bc no one wants to work night shift at the grocery store for like 12$ an hour. fucking offer better pay idiots #god even when i was a package handler working the super inconvenient hours of 3am-like. 9. 10am(inconvenient my ass that was ideal hours.)#the main reasons ppl left for other jobs: hours suck and they got offered better pay. they cant adjust the hours. so they shouldve #increased the pay to retain. and maybe have more structured start and end times that were less up in the air #like all the drivers leave at 9am so if theres anything left on the truck thatll be for tomorrow. since that fuckin happened anyway. idk.#honestly wouldve been more important to me to have consistent start times cos thats one of the things that pissed me off about that job was #like youd go in and before you left youd have to ask what the start time would be tomorrow cos they kept jumping all over the place by like #15min increments and like its once thing to do it on occasion to try to deal with like Bad Weather but it was like fucking Daily #and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard. but sometimes they wouldnt. and sometimes theyd write it on the little whiteboard #and leave it up there forget to erase it and it would still be there but they told you as you walked out actually its not 4:30 tmrrw its 3 #idk. i know the main real reason i miss it is cause it was part time and the day ended at like 9am usually

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supercantaloupe · 1 year

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aghh everybody keeps asking me to consider doing More Things on wednesdays and i don't know if i can do any of them 😥

#dept head asked me to consider adding another class to my schedule. and it sounds super cool #music theory genre studies seminar. aghh #the course says it's offered on a rotational basis but idk when it'll be offered next so idk if this is my one shot or whatever #but i would have to redo my office hours schedule to fit it in. which is annoying for me and my coworkers :/#and the (redacted) band rehearses wednesday evenings. and i COULD make it #but that would be a third weeknight out of five i'd be busy all day #and pack both a dinner and a lunch for myself on the go. aghh #i could probably do one or the other though it'd be A Lot. doing both seems insane #the smart thing to do is probably turn down either. but aghh. fomo :(#i like playing and the class sounds cool!!#but gd i need downtime. and i need time to do homework for my existing classes.#aghhhh #well. i think tomorrow i'll email the prof of that class and ask for more info about it #and i'll talk to my coworkers about potential schedule shuffling #and i'll talk to dan when we get coffee bc man i could use the counsel of a fellow oboist about all this LOL #kindred spirits and all #i wanna talk about me

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fingertipsmp3 · 11 months

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One thing about me is I will buy myself treats I literally do not deserve because I didn’t do anything whatsoever

#so you know that job interview i had today? yeah i cancelled it #i looked at reviews for the company and they had legit HORRIBLE reviews on both glassdoor and indeed #and so many of them and so recent that i was like. i can’t discount this #plus the fact that i don’t even really want to work in this field… like why would i do this to myself #scheduled to work 10 days in a row; back to back 12-15 hour shifts #for MINIMUM WAGE are you actually shitting me. i think the fuck not #you know what my last job was? making coffee. you know what i got paid? 50p an hour above minimum wage. you know what my shifts were?#4-8 hours. you know how many days i worked in a week? 4-5. you know how many breaks i got? lots #i rest my fucking case #(breaks were unpaid lol and i didn’t get much holiday or sick pay but you can’t have everything!)#i also saw like… management is rude; disorganised; disrespectful etc and i was like okay. that’s not going to go well #i mean there is something very wrong with me so i’d more than likely end up being about thrice as rude to management. but still #anyway. the treats! i ordered myself a new leather jacket because idk i don’t care about my credit score i guess #i also bought a lot of chocolate. like a lot a lot. they didn’t have my favourite ice cream so i compensated #by raiding the christmas display and also buying sweets and cookies and aero bars and THEN i noticed they had chocolate yoghurt on offer #so i obviously had to buy those. i did also buy the necessities #well i didn’t buy cheese but honestly i was too bamboozled by the display and the fact that they only had mild cheddar and light cheddar #and lightER cheddar which? 🧐 just buy milk at that point man #so basically if you need me i think i am going to eat haribos and play my game #there will be other job interviews. i literally have one next week. the one today was just not it #personal

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lilgynt · 2 years

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anyway yesterday i had this huge break down like sobbing screaming throwing my self on the floor the whole 9 yards and it sounds like outtakes from the midsummer scene and any guess what started it. my dad asked me to buy rotisserie chicken

#personal #obviously lots of context but super funny #especially bc when i was throwing myself around i got a HUGE fucking bruise on my thigh #anyway my weekend was not good. personally #on thursday i went to like 4 stores and was looking for coffee (dad didn’t remember the name) and rotisserie chicken for my dad and his #dog. which i know bad but you have not tried having and elderly blind somewhat lost his mind or mostly it man as ur father for most ur life #you learn to just go with it #and during all of this i’m getting nothing but assholes on the road #like in the morning when i got breakfast for dad and i some lady cussed me out when i wouldn’t reverse into a drive through #and then after the first store some guy nearly hit me backing out of a parking space bc he was going super fast and turned around JUST to #flip me off. and i’m already annoyed bc i didn’t even want to run this errand for a fucking dog but it’s my dad so i keep going #so hit 3 more stores ask my dad if he remembers the coffee name (he requested i call him at the store) he did but it’s too expensive #(i offer to get it firmly but he’s freaking out) i leave and then my mom calls me and gets annoyed at me for not buying it anyway #go to the next store. the shit my dad just told me is to expensive is like 6 bucks more here and it’s too busy to go back to the other some #and i’m so upset but it’s only sale so small win. didn’t find the chicken anywhere #dad and mom start fighting when i get back and it’s so fucking frustrating #anyway that took over 2 hours and was very upsetting then the next day my dad is like #can you go back again 🥺 and i do but not before that huge break down #which during i was like did not know it upset me that much. but anyway ends with me getting locked in my room bc my dad #is coming over to give me batteries not even checking on or hearing the yelling and im naked and im so fucking upset that i don’t even have #a door anymore and it’s middle/high school again and i’m makes and crying and i don’t have a door and everyone’s allowed to come in whenever #naked and crying #bc it doesn’t matter wrre family and im so angry and i lock myself in start slamming on the door and my dads like what can i do and he can’t #see then i just rip the broken door knob from the door in sheer anger and then i spend the next two hours sobbing while looking for chicken #for my dad. did not find it btw. like some time looking for chicken some getting gas then food #so funny i texted my mom during it and she thought i was going to our usual store and texted me things she needed #and i only realized while inside the store i was actually in and started silently sobbing and hyperventilating bc my mom wanted me to go to #another store and she just promised this wouldn’t happen again and there’s no fucking chicken here #anyway i’ve been camping my room bc i don’t want to talk to my dad im not mad at him or anything but i just can’t do the last couple days #and my mom was really nice yesterday about it after hearing me sob and didn’t even give me shit when i said im staying hometoday l8r maybe?

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mishkakagehishka · 1 year

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Socialisation is key, i really am just like a bunny

#felt genuinely happy and all i did was go over to my friend's flat between our lessons since she rents close by #and we had coffee and talked ab our failed loves and laughed so much and awughhhhhh #i've really been feeling off these past few months but especially these past two weeks #i don't wanna say it but i just felt like i had no meaning #and hanging out and having fun and doing paid work really managed to make me feel a bit better #and like i actually am a human being with some sort of purpose #even if it is to offer cheap and quick last minute translations or a ''DON'T FALL FOR HIM'' through laughter #sighs #idk. maybe i shouldn't let myself get consumed with anxiety and ''if i fail this then this will happen which will lead to this and that so #essentially if i fail this minor thing i'll fuck everything up and there'll be no fixing it'' but that's easier said than done #i can always distract myself tho and just do my best #i think it was during that coffee that i thought ''okay so even if i fail an exam or two - i can take them during the autumn. i don't have #to pass everything on time - few first years do - and i will still be able to rest between summer and autumn dates #so it's not like i'll be a lost cause if i don't pass everything by july's end'' but. it's still hard to think of it #but we'll see. in God's hands #we also laughed a lot bc i mentioned being religious and she went ''YOU?!'' hdbsbsbsjdjd😭😭.... is that so shocking.........

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ssmokyquartz · 6 months

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there's someone in my new job I'm sure doesn't like me but I have no idea why

#every time i need to ask her something she replies with thee most annoyed face on earth #yesterday someone else told me to do something in one way but it turned out she wanted it done the other way. so she just interrupted me mid #conversation with a lot people and told oh that wasnt right we'll do it together later. and being so condescending with it #then she never ever offered to do it with me bc i alreafy knew how to do it and the person who gave the wrong directions gave me an apology #and she never even looked my way #when we had coffee with everyone the other day she didnt talk to me Once. i was just there #i know this is not just in my head. you guys dont know the way she looks at me whenever i need to talk to her about SOMETHING FROM WORK EVEN #ugh i hate this #its someone i have to work with every single day too #but what could i have possibly done for her to not like me like this? i just got there #the only thing i can think of is that she liked the girl who was there before me and resents me bc shes not there anymore #but thats not my fault?? and i dont even know why the other girl left or was fired in the first place

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wonkyjaw · 7 months

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Sometimes small gentle gestures just completely wreck me. Just little things. Tiny unnecessary kindnesses. Fill my heart with something like love like hope.

#for context this is about our rescue #she was terrified of everything and still so conscious of what’s ours vs what’s hers #but in the last few years she’s allowed herself to be curious #I’ve always had dogs growing up and usually curiosity in something they’re not allowed to have is immediately a no not yours #with her without discussing it we allow her to be curious #today she sniffed my coffee but knew she couldn’t have it and cuddled up in my lap instead #but it’s also that I woke up today and Emily had brought me a coffee for no reason #and it’s also my coworker who came in for an hour yesterday so that I could go home on time and the person who was meant to replace me #could get her kid ready for school before coming in #its my dog leaving her favorite toy as offering in front of my door when I wake up late #it’s my friend sending a tiktok that made her think of me #idk I woke up like thirty minutes ago and have a lot of feelings

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