#lonely thoughts

[moodyseal]

TOApril Day 13 – Curse of Eternal Youth

Untouched in all but his heart ✨ (drew this as an excuse to put him in different outfits ngl)

[louudthoughts]

i want you to love me

with your whole heart,

promising never to flee.

treat me like a work of art,

don’t ever let me go.

i’ve always been hiding somewhere

between the light and shadow.

pull me out of the darkness,

hold me like packed snow.

don’t let me see the bleakness,

not ever again.

[saltair-and-palemoonlight]

you’re on your own, kid, you always have been

normal people, 2020/@ryebreadgf /ceilings - lizzy mcalpine/the haunting of hill house, shirley jackson/untitled, frank wright/unknown, from pinterest/nicolas martin, “dedicated to light”/you’re on your own, kid - taylor swift/edward hooper, “gayle on the f train”/@seashellronan/tolerate it - taylor swift/unknown/tv - billie eilish/unknown, from pinterest/@lustloveandliarsx/@finehoney/@farmlesbians/liability - lorde/i get so jealous of euthanized dogs - june gehringer/anne magill/you’re on your own, kid - taylor swift

[ksk1nny]

“𝑻𝒐𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆𝒓“ 𝒎𝒆𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒑𝒐

[motocrunch]

We are far too smart to be the only thing standing in our way...

[sakura-hayashii]

dear person reading this,

i just want you to know... if you think about it… the sun rises and the sun sets… every single day… but they both have a different amount of time that they presently exist in… just like life… you have to go through your own sunrises and sunsets… life will always have its time of light and darkness… there are feelings and phases… and events in our life are somewhat like seasons… sometimes the darkness will far outweigh the light… but other times the light will predominate the darkness… everyone goes through those moments of feeling like we’re the only person who exists in this world… left all alone… this feeling of loneliness… and never being able to explain it… and tired of trying to because people dont seem to understand… so youre left feeling empty and alone... but youre not… you have people around you who have been through similar… often trying to find someone who can listen and understand them just like you are… there are people who are willing to sit and listen… willing to stand by your side… willing to just be there and support you as you grow… youre the only one who can change yourself… but there are always people who are willing to help and cheer you on… you just gotta find them… being dependent on yourself is good… but you eventually start craving things… like having a good conversation with someone and connecting on passions… or the intimacy of literally just a hug… or even trying new things… i wanna do everything on my own but i cant… thats not how the world works… cause no matter what… there will always be at least one person waiting for you to come to them and ask for help… YOU ARE WORTHY AND LOVED AND THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOURE GOING THROUGH… sometimes reaching out for help or just a conversation also helps the other person… you never know… you just might change their life… and they might change yours.

- S.H.

[alyssaswrld999]

I'm Broken And I Don't Want To Be Sammy

( Sam Winchester x Reader)

Warnings: deppression, suicidal thoughts, deep conversations, broken feelings, self harm, etc.

Y/n's pov:

I never looked at the world so differently until now. Never knew that I could go down into a pit of emotions that kill me every single day. To were it makes me feel that no one needs me anymore...

That no one will miss me...

That it's ok to leave this world behind...

"Y/n you okay" Sam asked. I look up at Sam getting out of my trace of thoughts. "Yeah I'm alright Sam" I said giving a decent smile. I look down and get back to researching our case. It seems we are dealing with a ghost of some sort which is never good.

"Listen to this according to the crime scenes and deaths that have happened in the past five years they all are near this old mental asylum at a 10 mile radius at least. And they are even killed the same way which is all suicide" Sam said.

Dealing with a case that involved ghosts used to make me sick to my stomach but now from the way I've been feeling for awhile it doesn't bother me much anymore. The fate I seek lately by any paranormal creature now is just plain and simple its just becoming the term "it is what it is".

"So it sounds like we could have ghost possession?" I said. "I think Y/n's right because we did have a case similar to this before" Dean added. Sam closed his laptop and looked at Dean. "Well then let's go check it out" Sam said.

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We finally make it to Louisiana and arrive at a motel for the night. "I'm gonna go get a drink I'll see you guys in the morning" Dean said. I rolled my eyes and got out of the impala and made my way towards the motel door of our room. "Always Dean leaving at the worst moments" I thought.

Sam's pov:

"I'm gonna go get a drink I'll see you guys in the morning" Dean said. After Dean said that Y/n gets out of the car and she seems angry. Also including the fact that she didn't grab her bag. "Hey uh do you think Y/n is acting strange" Dean asked.

I looked at Dean and back to the motel door. "Yeah I do I mean she's been acting strange for a couple of weeks" I answered. I was worried about her she just seemed numb as if she couldn't feel anything of a happy thought.

"Well just make sure to keep an eye on her while I'm gone. Maybe talk to her I don't know Sammy. We don't need to lose anyone else" Dean said. I nodded my head and got out of the impala and went to the trunk. "I just hope she's gonna be ok" I thought.

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Y/n's pov:

I enter the motel room and it wasn't as bad as some we have stayed in before. It was different because it was more "Country Life" themed. There was even a cow picture on the wall.

"Never thought I would seen a more beautiful room" I thought. This room sorta gave me peace for now which is more peace that I've felt in awhile. Sure it doesn't fully help me feel better but it's still comforting.

As I go into the motel bathroom Sam entered. "Y/n I'm gonna put your bag on one of the beds" Sam said. I peek out of the bathroom and looked to see Sam's back facing me. "Thanks Sam" I said.

Sam turned around and seen me for a second before I went back into the bathroom. He seemed concerned but I couldn't worry about the way he feels right now.

I close the bathroom door and I look at myself in the mirror. There was bags under my eyes and it looks like I haven't slept in days. I mean technically I haven't wanted to eat anything or sleep. Haven't even really eaten a proper meal in five days.

"Why would Sammy want me as his girlfriend?" I thought. I've done things and I just feel that eventually both Dean and Sam won't want me around anymore. I keep having dreams of everyone even Castiel saying that "I'm horrible", "I need to die", etc.

As I get out of my trace of thoughts I look down to wash my face. As I look up again Lucifer was beside me. I then froze and couldn't move from where I was. "Hi Y/n" Lucifer said with a grin on his face.

"Why are you here why now why are you bothering me" I asked. Lucifer just smiles at me then walks towards me. "I'm just here to talk to you I mean technically I'm your only friend at this moment isn't that right" Lucifer said.

I look away and then look down at my hands. "No your not real get out of my head" I said. Lucifer laughs as if I was joking. "No what I think you need to do Y/n is give in to how you feel. Sam and Dean are tired of protecting you. There tired of you being a pathetic waste of a hunter" Lucifer said.

I shook my head and I covered my ears to ignore what he was telling me. "Leave me alone just leave me alone" I mumbled. "As you wish Y/n I'll leave you be for now at least" Lucifer said then dissappered.

I look around to see Lucifer was gone but I still had this weird feeling. I open the bathroom door to go and grab an outfit and some of my toiletries. As I walk back I noticed Sam wasn't in the motel room.

Then I seen a note on the table beside his laptop. "Y/n I went to go a get us something to eat I'll be back soon -Sam". Well that's good because it gives me time to be alone. I enter the bathroom and turn on the shower.

I grab my phone and start to play "Behind Blue Eyes". This should ease off on how I'm feeling for a bit and it's also a good song to.

No one knows what it's like to be the bad man...

I just wanted to feel peace and not feel empty. I just wanted to feel happy again with Sam and Dean. But lately I've just felt this way because of everything with Crowely, Castiel, etc.

To be the sad man behind blue eyes...

I just want to be normal again and not broken. I'm tired of feeling like everything is my fault. Castiel losing his grace, Crowley trying to kill Sam and Dean, Lucifer tormenting Sam.

And no one knows what its like to be hated...

I just don't want to wake up one day and be told that everyone hates me. That I don't deserve to be happy with the people I love the most.

To be fated to telling only lies...

But what if this is all a lie? I keep secrets away from Sam and Dean so they won't worry about me. Especially about Lucifer speaking to me and tormenting me.

But my dreams, they aren't as empty...

I just want to feel better and the only way is to do the thing that isn't ok. I open my makeup bag and pull out my raiser. I take the blade and hold it In my hand.

I then roll up my sleeve and cut. I don't know how many times I did but it just kept going....

As my conscience seems to be...

All I see is blood and I then stop what I'm doing. There is now 28 new cuts on my arm. And I felt horrible and at peace in a non-normal comforting way.

I strip out of my clothing and then step inside the shower to clean off all the dirt and nature off my body. I haven't showered in days and I finally have the chance to do now.

I have hours, only lonely...

I felt alone and I just couldnt get that off my mind. I love Sam and Dean and I care about them. I just can't let then see me like this.

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Sam's pov:

As Y/n went to the bathroom I decided to go and get us something to eat. I can tell she hasn't been herself lately and when I would try and talk to her about it she would push me away.

I can't force her to talk because I don't wanna make her feel forced to do anything. I just don't want her to hurt.

I left a note on the table to let her know where I was going so she wouldn't worry or anything. I just don't want her to ever think that I'm gonna leave her.

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Y/ns pov:

After 20 minutes I finally got done taking a shower and I put my new pair of clothes on. Which was a brown Tennesse long sleeved pajama shirt and a pair of Sam's boxers.

I remember the first time I took these boxers and weared them in front of Sammy. He was happy and thought it was cute so he let me keep them.

It brought me a comforting feeling and it made me forget what I did earlier to my arm. I just don't want Sam to notice what I've done. And I don't feel like getting yelled at by both Dean and Sam for this.

I noticed that my phone turned off and it stopped the song that was playing. I clicked the play button and it continues where it left off.

My love is vengeance that's never free...

No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings...

Like I do, and I blame you...

No one bites back as hard on their anger...

I grab my hairbrush and start brushing my hair while the song continues to play. It was almost over anyway so why not listen to it.

None of my pain and woe can show through...

But my dreams, they arent as empty...

Then suddenly the motel door opens and I heard a plastic bag rustle. "Sams back" I thought. I finally get done brushing my hair and I turn off the song.

I make sure I look ok and I walk out of the bathroom. "Hey Sammy" I said. Sam looks up and smiles at me. "Hey beautiful I just got back and I got us Chinese food" Sam said holding up the bags of food.

I gave him a big smile and I walk over to him. When I get in front of Sam I rest my head against his chest and wrap my arms around his waist.

"Hey what's this for" Sam said. I moved my face more into his chest and I held on for dear life. Eventually Sam puts the food down and hugs me back. "Hey sweetheart whats wrong" Sam asked. I then just broke down.

I started crying and I couldn't stop the tears from falling. "I'm broken.. and I don't want to be sammy" I mumbled. Sam then picked me up and held me in his arms. I wrapped my legs around him and just held onto him.

"Y/n talk to me sweetheart please I need you to tell me what's wrong" Sam pleaded. I pull away and look at Sam. "I've just been feeling not myself lately... I wanna tell you everything but I don't want you to leave me Sam" I said.

Sam looked at me and paused. He looked as if I was crazy and joking. "Y/n I'm never gonna leave you I love you to much and I would never do that to you" Sam said.

"I love you to Sammy"

[ava345]

i hate being lonely I want somebody just once to say they love me and actually mean it ☹️

[tanyaluca]

Tree’s Thoughts…

Tanya Luca

[known-to-self]

Me 🫱🏼‍🫲🏻 4B Movement

[chaosmushroomsushi]

some nights I lay in bed and just think about how I will never be able to accept a compliment from a stranger because they will always think that I'm a woman I will never have the luxury of passing I will never be approached by a man loving man who will compliment me in a gay way and it hurts. it hurts

[moodyseal]

I was poking fun at how unexpectedly silly the CHB kids looked in armour in the first two episodes of the PJO show (acting like an almighty army and all) and then it hit me. This is exactly how some of them will look like when they will be dying in the final battle. Silly. Tiny. Literal children

[louudthoughts]

at first, i would've killed myself for you.

now, i may kill myself because of you.

[phrasedwithout]

i hope they know how much i care about them

i hope they know how much i think about them

if it is for the best

i am fine with myself-

-not being in their life

is it wrong of me to wish that it isn't?

[infpisme]

[motocrunch]

Riding a motorcycle has been my teacher, revealing the art in savoring each exquisite autumn day, navigating misty roads adorned with forests painted in a kaleidoscope of leaves. The cold, invigorating air serves as a poignant awakening, a gentle reminder that life holds within it ample reasons for joy. I require nothing, no one, except the freedom to journey on my path. It's about the choice I've embraced, always fixing my gaze on the next bend. I find myself wholly immersed in the present, seeking happiness. Can I claim to have found it? Who's to say? But this journey feels undeniably right to me.