#officiant who will work into the speech that she is so mad that his spouse stole her pillow

[tiny-huts]

Thinking about Gale romance wedding again. Gale gets told that no animals aren't allowed in the temple and very offended he has to explain that the 12 pound tressym is in fact the officiant

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I Wish I Cared Less

Chapter 9: Next Stop Marriage?

Attempt #9- Propose to her

I don't wanna change

I don't know how

Make the same mistakes

Freak myself out

'Cause I can't be tamed

-Mad Visions (Royal Blood)

His timing really could’ve been better, what was he thinking? Oh that’s right, he wasn’t. Months of planning gone to waste, from finding the perfect ring and setting up the perfect setting to the perfect moment. He chooses now to blurt it out, he didn’t even get to go through the speech he’s been rehearsing in his head. This couldn’t get worse.

“You’re not serious…”

“Well…”

“No, I can’t do this right now. Where’s the key? I need a minute.”

It just got worse. He can see the panic in her eyes though she’s trying to hide it. Honestly, what was he thinking? Who proposes in the middle of experimenting with bondage? No one. Except for him apparently. This is not going to go well.

He doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or not that she didn’t immediately bolt for the door after he releases her. He can see the gears in her head turning, after what feels like an eternity, she finally raises her head to meet his gaze.

“No.”

“Shiho…”

“I’m not the marriage type Kudo, if there’s a ring…”

“Of course there’s a ring, it’s in…”

“Return it. I don’t want any part of this. We’ve talked about this before, if your end goal is to be married again then it’s better if we break things off now.”

“I just want to be with you. Why are you so against it?”

“It’s not that I’m against it… it’s just… unnecessary. You can think I’m being cynical, but I’ve seen too many relationships fall apart. Marriage isn’t a guarantee couples will be together forever. No one needs another person to live.”

“You’re right, but it’s easier when you have someone by your side.”

“I’m not running away if that’s what you’re worried about. I like you a lot Shinichi, but marriage is a deal breaker.”

If he’s being completely honest, he doesn’t know exactly why he’s so adamant on marrying her. Obviously his first marriage didn’t work out well, not to mention the numerous cases he’s had to deal with regarding sour divorces. There’s been a lot of murders by former spouses, it’s always the one closest to you. Just about everything in the universe is telling him to give it a rest, he’s not meant for the husband life, but call him traditional. He just really wants to marry her okay. Imagine waking up next to her everyday and knowing she’s his wife, getting to call her Mrs. Kudo and letting her know she’s his. He’s had too many dreams about this already, it even haunts him in his subconscious.

“I really can’t convince you…”

“No.”

Running his fingers down her body as she lays in his arm, they’re not big on cuddling but every now and then it happens. Normally it would be after a long night, but given his impromptu proposal they’re a little off course. She’s very clearly trying to get him back on track, but he wants to know why and she can’t give him an answer he can accept.

“Why?”

“I thought we were past this.”

“Is there anything that could change your mind.”

“Not likely.”

“But there’s still a chance.”

“What there is a chance of, Kudo Shinichi, is that if you continue with this nonsense. I won’t hesitate to leave you.”

“Even though you love me.”

“That… nice try. I haven’t said it yet.”

“Yet, so you will.”

“You know I could easily go and find someone else without having to deal with all of this.”

“You would miss me too much.”

“You’re so full of yourself.”

“That makes two of us.”

She laughs, feeling him inside of her, he usually likes to give her warning but not this time. He’s been warming her up the entire time they’ve been pressed together. She kisses him then, this is only the beginning.

——

One whole year, they’ve been official for three hundred sixty five days and counting. They didn’t make a big deal out of their first anniversary, she lucked out since he got caught in a major case that demanded all of his attention. It isn’t until after midnight that he realized what day it was. Waking her up from her sleep, he apologized and promised to make it up to her, she was only annoyed at the fact he disrupted her rest. She knows her reaction threw him off, her nonchalant attitude, giving an air of indifference. It’s not that she doesn’t care, she does, especially when he could be the real deal. It’s just a little too good to be true. She’s held this belief since the beginning of their affair, and nothing’s changed her mind. She’s still waiting for things to inevitably fall apart, and while she’s still cautious, she’s been going against her better judgment. Moving in together, introducing him to her collages, meeting his family and friends, to the biggest risk: taking him to visit her sister’s grave. That was a really big step, she’s always gone by herself. Not even with Shuichi, but somehow she agreed when he asked. He let her have her space, not expecting her to even mention him. She wasn’t expecting it either, yet the introduction comes tumbling out. He rolls with it, telling Akemi not to worry. He’ll take good care of her little sister. Thinking back to that day warms her heart, she nearly spoke those forbidden three words to him that day.

“If we want to make our reservations, we should leave now. You okay?”

“Yeah, fine. Just thinking about some things.”

“What could be more important than our anniversary?”

“You really didn’t have to make a big deal out of it.”

“You say this now, but you might change your mind once we reach bigger milestones.”

“If we make it that long, I still won’t care.”

“We will. You really don’t care at all?”

She feels a little guilty hearing the hurt in his voice, but she’s already accepted the fact that he will always put his work above their relationship. She does the same thing, it’s just how they are. There is no point in trying to change what’s been hardwired into their brain from the beginning. Besides, what does it matter? It’s just numbers, she would rather enjoy the time they have together than stress over dates on a calendar.

———

It’s frustrating to say the least, Shinichi sometimes gets the feeling that Shiho doesn’t love him to the same degree he cares for her. Her nonchalant attitude about their whole relationship bothers him immensely. She never whines or gets upset if he has to cancel plans last minute, she just goes with it. Which granted is a fairly regular occurrence, try as he might to keep their date a priority, he has a bad habit of losing track of time and getting too immersed in solving the mystery. It’s why he’s made to be a detective. In this regard it makes Shiho the perfect partner to have, the complete opposite of Ran. He used to wish his ex would care less and invest more in herself, but now that he has a taste, he admits missing someone who needs him. They’re better together, but he knows she would be fine without him, he’s the one that would suffer.

“Are you up for trying the handcuffs again?”

“Some days I swear you’re only using me for sex.”

“Why do you think I keep you around? I’m kidding, don’t look so sad. I do actually like you a lot, Shinichi.”

“You can’t blame me for having doubts.”

“If I had it my way, I’d lock you away in our bedroom and keep you all to myself. I don’t like sharing.”

“You’ll never have to worry about that.”

“Good, now let me take care of you.”

It’s not like her to be possessive, he’s only caught a hint of jealousy in her eyes a couple of times. He always shuts it down immediately, afraid she’ll decide he isn’t worth it, but he admits liking the extra attention she subconsciously gives him. He doesn’t think she notices when her touch lingers after a too close for comfort encounter with his fan girls, but she definitely gets a little more protective when it happens. He’s not sure exactly what triggered this act of aggression, but he’s not complaining.

“Fuck.”

“Did I give you permission to speak? Maybe I should just leave you here by yourself.”

“No, wait! I’ll keep quiet.”

“We’ll see about that.”

!!!

A reverse of what was supposed to transpire a couple days ago if he didn’t ruin it all. Both hands are handcuffed to the headboard, he’s at her mercy here. Her touch is soothing as she riles him up, staying away from his more sensitive parts. He’s never been a great rule follower, bending them as he chooses to suit his needs. She knows this, and intends to torture him just a tiny bit before she gives him what he wants.

He doesn’t have trouble keeping his mouth shut as she slowly works her way down the length of his body. Feeling the warmth of her breath over his hardening cock does make it more difficult. Even more so when she leans to kiss it. Trailing her lips further down until she reaches the tip, teasing him with a slow sensual lick. He bites down on his lip. Taking in just the head, gently sucking, her tongue tasting the precum leaking out. She moves in a swirling motion, slowly taking him deeper. Inch by inch until he hits the back of her throat, he struggles to suppress his moans. He can’t even grip on anything except for empty air when his hands are cuffed. She pulls away completely when he raises his hips, he knows better than to complain so he stays quiet waiting for her to call the shots.

She straddles him, purposefully brushing her dripping cunt across his fully hardened dick. She gets almost as much pleasure as he does when she pleases him. She’s so close, if he could just adjust the angle he could slip inside with ease. She’s tempting him, it’s a test and he just might risk failing.

“How much do you want me?”

“So much.”

She leans down to kiss him, humming against his lips. Her chest pressed against his, hand caressing his cheek. All too suddenly, she pulls away, he tries to chase her but he’s stuck in place. She leans back brushing against him, a mischievous smile on her face. He wants to ruin her, but he can’t and she knows it. She can see the frustration in his eyes, she gets off on it.

“Give me one reason why I should let you fuck me.”

“You want it too.”

“Hm. Do I now?”

She’s perched over him, easy access to what they both want, he takes the opportunity. She’s not surprised when she feels a part of him slip inside, closing her eyes she purrs then slides down pushing him all the way in. He struggles against his cuffs, wanting nothing more than to get things moving along but for once she isn’t keen to participate.

“Someone’s being naughty, no wonder I have to keep you restrained.”

Leaning forward, trailing her lips up the slope of his neck, darting her tongue out she licks his earlobe. Her whisper sends a shiver up his spine, he has no choice but to obey.

“Be a good boy and stay still.”

Placing her hands over his shoulder, she begins to ride him, keeping her face buried in his neck he can hear her pants. The instinct to thrust into her is too hard to fight, chasing her warmth he pushes forward. Squeezing her thighs over his hips, she forces him to stop his movements. She’s close, he knows it, knows he can get her there but she keeps holding back.

“You’re not a very good prisoner.”

“I prefer to have you tied up.”

“You can’t always get what you want Shinichi.”

“Even if all I want is you?”

“Especially if it’s me.”

She gets up, their combined juices sticking together, not ready to be apart. Again those persky cuffs are in the way, he groans frustrated with the way things are going. He recalls a similar situation before, back then he let her have complete control just so she would give him a chance. Now that they’re official and he’s had more than a taste, he wants more. He needs more.

A click and a twist, his left hand is released. Before she can even give him an option, he’s already made his decision. The key drops somewhere on the floor, he could care less. Pinning her down, he parts her legs, pushing inside of her in one fluid motion. His free hand grips her hip prompting her to spread herself open for him. Pulling out, he rocks into her with a steady pace, she wants him to go faster. He obliges.

The metal biting into his wrist disappears into the back of his mind, all he can focus on is how good this feels. The way she responds to him is something he will never get tired of. Her flushed face, nails digging into his back, her melodic voice singing his name when he reaches in between to press on her clit. Her walls spasm around him, it only takes him a few more thrusts before he follows.

She’s all smiles as they both come down from their high. Cupping his cheek to pull him down for a soft gentle kiss. Hearing the metal clank against the headboard is what finally breaks them apart. Tangled together, they separate as rationality sets in. She should probably let him out of the handcuffs.

———

The aftercare is mostly her fretting over him, while not unusual, it is a first after sex. He may have gotten a little too carried away, wincing as she applies disinfectant over the cuts left from the cuffs digging into his skin.

“I underestimated your self restraint. I was going to give you a choice to free yourself or maybe switch positions.”

“I couldn’t think clearly.”

“Obviously, but I still enjoyed it. I would’ve liked keeping you under duress a little longer though.”

“You love to see me suffer.”

“Perhaps, what happened to the guy who would let me do whatever I want?”

“I still let you get away with a lot.”

“True, I guess I’m just surprised.”

“At?”

“I kinda expected our sex life to dip, but I feel like you want me more than you did before.”

“I do.”

“That’s not normal, is it? I mean it’s not a bad thing but… I’m not used to this.”

“I can’t explain it either. I’ve never felt this way before.”

She doesn’t know what to make of this, all signs are pointing to Shinichi being the one. Yet she still can’t get herself to fully commit. She’s taken some really big steps already. She’s never moved in with a boyfriend before, it took months of convincing for her to finally take the leap. They didn’t have any problems, everything felt so natural. To be fair, they are used to sharing space, she would sleep over or he would all the time. Still she expected an argument about some trivial matter, but nothing. They were simply too busy with their jobs to get annoyed at each other. It’s almost a relief when they get some down time to spend together.

They’re not doing anything special, a rare day off for the both of them. Usually it means date night, but they mutually decided to stay in and take it easy. Work has been stressful, with deadlines approaching for her and a tough case he only recently made a breakthrough in.

Now they sit on the couch, well he’s more laying in her lap, watching a random movie they’re really not paying any attention to. She’s idly running her hand through his hair, looking down at him she notes his tired eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping well, if at all, spending all his time at the station. Not once did she complain, she’d be a hypocrite given all the overtime she’s put in at the lab.

He looks up at her with a smile on his face, he’s making her soft, taking her hand he holds it against his cheek. She smiles when he places a kiss over her knuckles. It’s in this moment that she realizes she really loves him. All the other times she was able to brush it off with an excuse of her thinking too much. She has nothing to blame this time around, they’re not doing anything, yet the once unfamiliar feeling of being in love erupts within her heart. She feels warm, she feels happy, and it’s all because of him. The thought should terrify her, but it doesn’t, far from it. The anxiety only starts to build when she begins to think of the future. She should tell him, right? Then what? He convinces her to get married then they have kids and live happily ever after? Try as she might, she still cannot imagine her life going that way. Even if she can admit now that she does love him. Something about marriage just doesn’t sit right with her, never mind creating a family together. That’s too much.

“Shiho, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

He’s sitting up now, giving her his full attention, still holding onto her hand. What did she do to deserve him? She’s going to ruin it, she knows it. Better to end it now than drag it on.

“No.”

“What?”

“I know that look and I know what you’re thinking. I’m not letting you run away. You said you were done with that.”

“Yeah… you’re right. No more running away.”

He’s not afraid to call her out when she inevitably starts overthinking. Quieting her fears, she reminds herself that this is real. They’re in an actual relationship and it’s going great. This is okay, they’re okay. They’re doing good. No more self sabotage. This is what they both want, they love each other and that should be enough. It’s more than enough.

Also available on ao3 <3

[buglife]

Bend and Not Break - Ch 1: A Mark

Anonymous said: Not sure if someone has requested this yet, but I’d love to see how the cast would react to an assassin coming after Ghost or Quirrel. I mean, there’s gotta be some bugs out there who don’t adore the new sovereigns right?

Anonymous said: If your still doing these (if not I’m really sorry and please just ignore me) may I request 17: “Ok, well… Fuck.” With Quirrel and Ghost being his knight in shining armour.

Read here on AO3 :3

Quirrel looked in the mirror, sighing to himself as he regarded his reflection. He was due to make a public appearance today along with Ghost, so he had to look the part of a King. He still didn’t feel much like a king, not really. He felt more like he did when he was helping his mother run the archives, which was a lot of running around and keeping people from losing their fingers to explosives. It wasn’t all about preventing disasters, it was also about fostering the love of learning and the curiosity that makes society better. So in a way...he felt the same now as he did then. There was more paperwork, of course, but he was happy. It helped that he had a spouse to share the load with.

He fiddled with the ring on his left hand, the pale ore gleaming in the light. It had been made from Ghost’s old nail, with them having a matching ring. They had long since outgrown the old nail, and most of it was used in making the pure nail he now carried. Still, it was something special that their rings were made with the metal that helped kill a god and started the rebirth of Hallownest. Smith and Sheo were absolutely delighted to work on them, and now the both of them had completely unique nails and rings that will probably last forever.

Today was going to be a rather emotional day for Ghost. He remembered them telling him snippets about the Soul Sanctum here and there. They could only mention what they were comfortable talking about, and it wasn’t much of it that qualified as such. Sometime during their journey to end the infection, they had entered the Soul Sanctum and put down the mad scientist within along with his equally mad followers. Grandeurs of immortality and power was enough to corrupt any bug, but from what he heard, the ones involved went far beyond corruption. It was evil. Pure evil. Ghost usually stopped talking at around that point, and Quirrel found himself cuddling them as they sought comfort to ease what they cannot forget.

The worst day perhaps, was when the Kingdom had established themselves enough to expand beyond bare necessities. As soon as the funds was available, Ghost had the Soul Sanctum completely stripped down to the bare walls and floors. They had gone that day to oversee it all and when they returned, they could barely hold themselves together. They spent the night crying, mourning the lives lost in the pursuit of power. They had given the dead within rest, but it still destroyed them on the inside to have to return to that place. Quirrel did his best to help, and many a sleepless night was spent together, attempting to heal deep wounds within.

They had recovered, in time. Stripping the place had done a lot to help them move on from the experience, and they had decided to turn it into something new. Something useful that would help bugs and not harm them. Something that promoted life, not take them away.

Its where they were going today, to officially open it up to the public. Quirrel would be there not only as a fellow ruler, but as support for Ghost. Despite it all, it was going to be hard for them.

Quirrel smoothed back his antenna and tied his silk kerchief around his head. It was a necessary habit he picked up while growing up with his mother. After burning his antenna one too many times due to splashes of acid or a chemical reaction gone wrong, he tended to pin them back. They got in the way sometimes, but once in a while he felt safe enough to let them out. The palace didn’t really have acid, or volatile chemicals, but old habits die hard.

He clipped on his cloak, letting the study fabric fall around his shoulders as he pinned it in place. It was a lovely blue, nearly iridescent, and clasped with a pale ore brooch that designated him as king. There was no way he could ever bring himself to wear something as tacky as a crown. Hell, Ghost wouldn’t even be able to fit one on their head. Instead, brooches seemed to fit a whole lot better.

Once he made sure his nail was strapped to his side, he deemed himself ready, and exited the room - only to nearly smack into his spouse, who was opening the door at the same time.

“Oof!” Running into Ghost wasn’t as fun as it was when they were little. Back then their shell was soft and kinda squishy like any other grub. But once stasis ended and they caught up on all their missed molts, their chitin had become tough and hard.

“Are you alright?” Ghost’s telepathy was soft and gently breezed by his mind. It’s just something gods could do, apparently. Their sire could, Quirrel knew that as a fact, but the fact they also ate a god boosted their ability to communicate without relying on sign language. They only ‘spoke’ like this to family and friends, a little too nervous to use it on the public. Quirrel hoped that would change with time.

He didn’t blame them, though. They were terrified of being considered scary. They were certainly imposing, but not as much as their sibling, Hollow. There were those that will always be scared of them, with them being a god and immensely powerful. But enough of their subjects loved them enough to not care. He just wished they could see it. Quirrel considered them handsome and cute, but then again, he was biased.

“I’m okay love, I was about to go and find you.” Quirrel smoothed down the front of his cloak and picked at Ghosts, adjusting it around a little. “It’s nearly time.”

Ghost was silent for a moment, and then leaned down to softly bonk their forehead against theirs. “I know.”

“You’ll be fine. That place doesn’t exist anymore.” He did his best to soothe any lingering nerves. Being around Ghost for so long as alerted him to their various tells. “It’s a better place now. Much better.”

They nodded slowly and let out a deep breath. “You are right. It is just hard to let go of what it was.”

“I understand, it will take a while, but you are doing great.” Quirrel took Ghost’s claws in his and gently squeezed. “Come along then, we don’t want to be late to the dedication.”

Ghost tilted their mask up in a smile, and then nodded. They bent down to steal a quick kiss, one that Quirrel returned, and together, they headed to the Stag Station.

----

The Capital was bustling, like always. It no longer was the City of Tears, not with the new revitalization of Hallownest. The rain had been stopped, redirected with new plant life growing on the ceiling. Lurien himself helped renew the spells that kept the water from outright pouring out of the lake above. Without being constantly rained on, more bugs were out and about. Today however, they were gathering in front of what used to be the Soul Sanctum, waiting around a platform where their rulers would be giving a speech. Most bugs were eager to enter the newly renovated building, because it was for them, and them alone.

The Soul Sanctum, which had brought so much death and misery to so many lives, had been converted into a multi-level communal greenhouse. There, farmer bugs would grow a verity of food, which is then free to be picked and used by the public. Taxes from the upper members of society will be used to keep the place running. That way, no bug would have to go hungry. The intimidating and Gothic architecture of the building had been transformed into a pillar of glass and green. It was now friendly, the oppressive air from before banished into a place of shelter. Not only could you go there to eat, but you can go there to rest among some of the floors dedicated to flowers. It was a gift, from the rulers of New Hallownest to the people, and the people were waiting to be allowed in to enjoy it.

The five new knights of Hallownest stood in various places around the crowd. So far, they didn’t need to do much but remind some citizens to calm down and not crowd each other. With Xena on her beast (named Pickles, but only she can call them that), it was easy to keep everyone in line. Cloth stole a quick moment to wave to Myla in the crowd, temporarily breaking protocol, but it wasn’t like Tiso was going to scold her for that, since he did the same thing. Once he finished his quick wave to his other date friend, he scanned the crowd and recognizing a few folks from Dirtmouth as well. A lot of people showed up to this dedication, hell, he even spotted a few spiders and bees in the crowd. It just made him scan the crowd more thoroughly. Threats could come from anywhere, and he took security very seriously.

It wasn’t long before he spotted the Kings approach the platform and climb on, waiting for the crowds cheering to die down before they began the ceremony. Quirrel was doing the speaking today, Ghost standing beside them and holding his hand. Tiso remembered when Ghost was small enough to pick up and throw. It was lots of fun, but now they were too big for that. Oh well. As soon as the crowd’s noise died down, Quirrel tapped a speaking stone on the provided podium and his voice was projected outwards to be heard by everyone.

“Hello to you all, our dear subjects. Today we continue to do our very best to provide for you, our people, whom we dearly love and cherish. This site was a place of tragedy, and pain, part of the past of old Hallownest that was rife with corruption and oversight. But today we have washed away the dark and terrible past, to bring in the new, which is full of hope and life. We have -”

Quirrel had always been a good speaker. But Tiso wasn’t here to hear a speech. He heard it before, when Quirrel had asked him and his fellow knights to hear it and give honest feedback. Tiso had suggested Quirrel get to the damn point because nobody liked just standing around, so he thankfully cut the speech down by half.

There were bugs everywhere. Bugs in the square, bugs that could climb were hanging on buildings, bugs looking out windows, bugs on roofs, everywhere. Tiso scanned them all, eyes narrowed. It was no lie that there were bugs out there who didn’t agree with the direction the new government was taking, especially having another god as a ruler. Ghost and Quirrel had managed to piss off the right people. They were the folks that enjoyed profiting by gaming the system, and that system came tumbling down once Ghost claimed the throne. It got even worse when they married Quirrel, who was scarily smart. Quickly it became obvious that nobody was going to get away with old hustles anymore.

Quirrel continued talking, and Tiso continued watching. Then, something caught his eye. A glint of metal shined on one of the rooftops, a figure crouched down behind it. The glint moved, and Tiso’s heart went cold.

“GET DOWN!”  He shouted, and with a heft, threw his shield as hard as he could. Bugs instantly dropped to the ground and the knights gathered to the podium. The shield whistled through the air, and with a satisfying clunk, impacted the bug on the roof. There was a brief shout of pain, and then came the thwip as a crossbow bolt lodged itself in the podium. It was obviously aimed for the pillbug’s head, and it missed him by scant inches. Someone in the crowd screamed and it started a chain reaction of panic. Cloth and Ogrim took crowd duty, ushering the crowd into nearby buildings to get them off the streets and away from the danger.

Xena was already heading up to the roof atop her beast, the creature climbing up the sides with frightening speed. Tiso flashed his soul and recalled his shield, just in time to hear the bug on the roof start screaming once the beast reached it’s fanged maw out and grabbed them. He trusted Xena to keep at least enough of them alive for questioning later.

To add more chaos to the mix, some bugs in the crowd dropped their cloaks, revealing nails, and rushed the podium.

“No more gods! No more masters!” Some of them shouted. The sentiment was echoed by the other assassins as they parted through the crowd, not caring about who they knocked over or trampled in their haste. Bugs continued to scream, struggling to get out of the way as some were simply tossed aside to make way. Tiso could hear grubs wailing and the sharp clang of metal as some of the bugs in the crowd took up their own nails. They were valiantly trying to hold back the assassins, who cruelly cut them down and left them to bleed out. Thankfully medics were among the guards, and they quickly raced out to try and save the injured civilians.

So this was a coordinated assassination attempt, usually they were done by singular bugs. They must have gotten a little smarter. Tiso was about to jump into the fray, only to hold back when Hollow sped past him and body checked an assassin so hard that he could hear the chitin cracking from where he stood. Ouch.  He let Hollow do their thing and barked out orders to his guardsmen. They had to get everything under control, and fast.

However, the Kings of Hallownest were no pushovers. Quirrel practically teleported, moving with an insane amount of speed to kill an assassin with a flash of their nail. Since the crossbow bolt was aimed at him, Ghost was especially pissed. They were trying their best to not change into their true, terrifying form and completely destroy the square they worked so hard to rebuild. Judging by the extra three pairs of eyes that opened on their mask, they were barely holding on. Tiso did not blame them.

One assassin got lucky, moving at just the right time to scratch their nail along Quirrel’s side. He let out a hiss of pain and leapt backwards, ignoring the wound for now. He moved to retaliate, only to see said assassin become a smear of hemolymph on the platform. He glanced up to see an absolutely furious Ghost retract a void tentacle back into their body, still coated in a thin sheen of gore.

“Are you okay?” Ghost’s mental voice was now tight, louder. Quirrel could hear the rumbling of the void in behind, overlapping as the power of a god began to leak through Ghost’s control.

“Yes dear, just a scratch.” Quirrel sidestepped another assassin, bringing his nail around to cleanly slice off their nail arm. The assassin screamed, now missing an arm, and was quickly grabbed by Ghost and slammed bodily into the ground. Ghost then proceeded to kick them into the nearest building, cracking the stone slightly and leaving said bug a quivering mess.

As quickly as it all began, it was over. In total there were eight assassins. Three were outright dead, most due to Ghost. The rest were maimed and beaten bloody, but were alive. They weren’t too sure if the ones Hollow got to would survive or not. Either way, they weren’t going to get out of the situation alive, either by the executioner’s axe or dying from their wounds. Tiso had ordered the spare guard out, and there was a city wide search for more conspirators. There was no way to tell how many were out there, at least, until the prisoners were questioned. Something Tiso was going to enjoy doing so very much.

Ghost was panting, trying to calm down after losing their control for the bare moments it took for the fight to finish. Quirrel shivered, also breathing heavily. Adrenaline was surging through his body still and he doubted he’d be able to calm down anytime soon. Ghost had grabbed him, holding him tight as they too, shook. For a being designed to have no emotions, Ghost sure wore theirs on their sleeve, frantically patting Quirrel down for injuries. He knew what they were afraid of, and he stopped their hands with his to prevent their anxiety from taking over their rational thought.

“I’m okay love, it’s just a scratch.” He had time to look at his wound, bleeding blue. It wasn’t even terribly deep. It would just need some cleaning and some shell paste. If anything, it was making a mess of his cloak. The cleaners were going to have an absolute fit about it. He sighed as Ghost moved their hands to the wound, clearly worried.

“Your Majesties!” Ogrim hurried over. “Are you okay?”

“We’re fine, thank you. What of the assassins'?” Quirrel again, moved his hands to hold Ghost’s as he listened to Ogrim.

“Captured. We have guards scouring the city for anything suspicious.” The dung beetle looked about the now empty square, watching the assassins that were dead being dragged away. “Tiso and Xena are going to head an investigation once they interrogate-”

Ghost whistled, stopping Ogrims words. “I will interrogate them.”

“Your majesty, are you sure, you-”

“I am very sure.” They had since hunched protectively over Quirrel, arms like a gate around him. The malice in their 'voice' wasn't hard to miss, something Ogrim picked up on. He was always able to pick out the tiniest of details.

Ogrim bowed his head, but spoke plainly. “With all due respect, as your knight, and as your friend, I urge you to at least let the captain and his lieutenant do their job first before you decide to do anything.”

“Ogrim is right, love.” Quirrel reached up to cup Ghost’s cheek, hand oddly feeling weak. Perhaps he was still worked up? He started feeling a little dizzy, maybe he needed somewhere quiet to de-stress for a little while. He wouldn't mind retreating back to their bedroom to cuddle for a while. That should be able to do the trick nicely. Still, he continued with his advice. “You are too worked up right now. You need to calm down first. We both do.”

Ghost shook for a moment, and then took a few deep breaths. “Okay. Please tell Tiso and Xena to get as much from the prisoners as they can. I will be there shortly.”

Ogrim nodded. “Of course, Cloth and Hollow will be here soon and they will be able to escort you back to the palace.”

Quirrel started to say something and then was hit by a sudden wave of light headedness. He grabbed onto Ghost’s arm to steady himself as he momentarily lost feeling in his legs.

Ogrim and Ghost noticed that for sure. “Your majesty?” Ogrim questioned, reaching out a claw to offer support.

“No no- I’m fine...I’m..” The world twisted and a spike of pain and nausea punctured his gut. He suddenly couldn’t tell which way was up or down anymore. His legs gave out and through an increasing and concerning wave of numbness, he felt himself being caught.

“QUIRREL!!”  The mental shout was loud, and with it came more noises he couldn’t quite make out.

Ok, well… fuck.” The pain seemed to get worse, now a burning sensation that spread from the wound on his side to the very core of his body. His lungs hurt. His heart hurt. A disturbing wave of pain twisted around his limbs and went right into his brain. It suddenly got more difficult to breathe as he clutched his spouse with his claws.

He was dimly aware of someone screaming desperately, echoing around his head as he lost the ability to understand it, he was too busy gasping for breath.

The noises blended together until finally, there was nothing but darkness.

-----

“In you go, ya fucker.” Tiso not so gently tossed one assassin, a particularly nasty looking cricket, onto the stone floor of the dungeon cell. They had given just the bare amount of medical care necessary to keep them alive. The worst injury was the stump where their nail arm used to be, cleanly cut in half by the biggest nerd in the kingdom. “This’ll be your new home for a while, but it can get a little nicer if you decide to talk.”

“It won’t make any difference,” The cricket spat a wad of hemo on the floor. “I’m dead anyway.”

“True…” Tiso mused, leaning on the bars to stare the other bug right in the eyes. “But would you rather prefer a quick death, or being dragged kicking and screaming into the void? Cause let me tell you, I’d rather take a beheading over that. That shit is fucked up.”

“Typical of a tyrant.”

“You seriously calling the squirt and the nerd tyrants? I mean, they literally were about to open a public greenhouse so that everyone can eat before you idiots crashed it.” Tiso tapped his shield against the bars, making the metal ting in the most annoying way possible. He absolutely loved messing with prisoners like that, it made them slip up more often than not. Tiso learned more from pissing off the prisoners than he ever did 'nicely' interrogating them. “I don't know about you, but that don’t sound like tyrants to me.”

“All gods, are tyrants.” The doomed assassin moved to sit up, resting their back against the cold stone walls. Their movements were awkward, now that they were missing an arm. “The Pale King was. The Radiance was. Even the White Lady. Now we have an even more powerful tyrant as our king! We can’t keep letting ourselves become playthings for monsters!”

“Call them a monster one more time and I’ll feed ya to Xena’s beast, and the beast chews slowly.” Tiso narrowed his eyes at the bug on the other side of the bars. He could roughly hear the other prisoners being tossed in their cells as well. Judging by the echoes, they were spouting the same nonsense and getting zero sympathy for it. “You’re a fucking idiot, you think you can just kill our Kings like that? King Ghost killed the Radiance, for fucks sake!”

The cricket smiled through their broken mandibles, dribbling hemo over their cloak. “No, we can’t kill the tyrant, but we can hurt them.”

Tiso stared, shocked by the words. A very bad feeling sat in his gut, and was quickly vindicated when Cloth rounded the corner.

“Tiso!” she shouted. “It’s Quirrel!”

“Yeah?” The bad feeling grew stronger and he desperately prayed to whatever was listening, that the next words out of his love's mouth wasn’t going to be bad news.

“Quirrel...he's...He’s been poisoned!”

Tiso’s world went numb, and all he could hear was the insane laughter of the prisoner behind him.

[lightskinrry]

maybe one wedding for the bad boys

the one where the wedding ceremony does go according to the plan...almost

A/N: hello lovelies!! part two of no wedding for the bad boys is here!! hope you like it!! and don’t hesitate to lemme know your thoughts about this mess!

Word count : 6K

TW: angst again lmaodehjsd

Taglist: @stfxlou @shreeyanshi @harrystylesholland @iloveshawnieboi @smoljules @soy-una-conejo @seasidecrowbar @evalynanne @nibabyy @la-cey​ @ashtonsfxvorite​ @merlinaes​ @gucciboots​

“Fuck… Fuck. Fuck.” You watched Harry pacing around in his room, walking in circles, his hand clutched to his hair, his suit pants loosely hanging on his hips and his unbuttoned shirt draped on his shoulders.

You could see he was muttering something. “I fucking can’t believe this. Fucking kidding me. On this fucking day. Fucking shit.”

“Look… If you’re going to be an asshole about it like yesterday. I will find a solution alone.”

You were sitting on the big chair in the corner, your legs spread apart and your yellow suit on. You didn’t want another fight but you had no choice but to tell Harry about the marriage license. Today was the big day and in 3 hours the ceremony would start. And if he was going to sign another marriage licence, he could face imprisonment since bigamy is illegal. So yeah, kinda had to tell him otherwise he was good to spent his honeymoon in a cell.

He groaned a little bit, you could almost see the gears of his brain working through his head. “Let’s...um… think, okay?” His breathing was unsteady so you got up and made him sit at your place.

“I already contacted a lawyer. We can annul the marriage, we just have to prove the marriage is..um… voidable. Yeah, that’s what she told me.” Harry sat back in the chair, relaxing a little bit. “So we have to prove that at least one of us couldn’t agree to the marriage because they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” He nodded silently. “Basically, we just have to go see the lawyer and that’s done. There’s no court appearance or anything.”

His eyes got softer as he listened to you. He sighed. “Thanks.”

You raised your eyebrows. “You’re welcome?”

“Look, Y/N… I’m really sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to be such a jerk about all this. It’s just… I’ve been planning this wedding for months now. I’m so fucking stressed. I don’t know what to do and then I found out I just fucked up everything. I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. I’m more mad at myself than anything and I just didn’t want to take accountability for my actions. It’s just such a fucking weird time and now everything is on the edge of falling apart.”

You gently stroked his shoulders. “Thank you for apologizing. I know you didn’t mean it… Look, it’s not entirely your fault. There was a lot of alcohol and we wouldn’t have been in Vegas if it wasn’t for me.” You took a small breath. “But, hey! We can fix this. All we have to do is annul the marriage and make sure you don’t sign anything in terms of legally binding documents or you can actually be prosecuted. And spending your honeymoon in jail isn’t what you want.”

He giggled softly, finally taking a breath and releasing a bit of tension. “Yeah, definitely not. I reserved a private beach in St Barth, there is no way I’m spending this time in jail instead of on the beach.”

“Oh wow. You went all in.” You smiled smugly at him. “Okay we have about 2 hours before the ceremony starts. I made sure the groomsmen get their shit together and do the list of check-ins with the planner so it’s a full open window before we have to get you back here fully dressed and looking fresh for your wedding.”

“If we can do that in two hours without being on crack, we truly are some lucky motherfuckers.”

“Oh we are, Harry. We’re lucky motherfuckers.”

He got up from the chair and you placed your hands over his shoulders. “Here’s the plan. We put on jogging clothes cause you don’t want anyone to recognize you or be suspicious. We go downtown to meet with the lawyer, we pressure her to state the annulment today. It will be sent to a judge for approbation and then the annulment should be fulfilled in about a month. And that’s where you come into play more than ever. You have to make sure the officiant don’t bring the marriage licence, say you want to sign it after your honeymoon, find an excuse, whatever you want to make sure you don’t sign this fucking paper, okay? And then we come back here, get you dressed and you go get married, you lucky motherfucker.”

He nodded agreeingly. “Okay.” He reached out his hand for you to shake. “And no-one will never know about all this.”

You shook his hand. “Taking this shit with me in the grave.”

You started changing rapidly into the sports clothes and leave as soon as possible. You made your way downstairs quietly but Tania’s sister, maid of honor and witness in the wedding, stopped the two of you.

“Where are you two going?”

You and Harry looked at each other for a second, trying to think of something that wouldn’t rise suspicions.

“Well, we’re going for a jog. As you can see.” You pointed out the clothes you were wearing.

“The ceremony is in two hours, no-one is going for a jog.” Her tone was stern and almost mean.

Harry came a little forward to her. “Look, Jill, I just need a breather. It’s a stressful time so… You know? Taking my best-woman on a jog before the big thing!”

She sighed loudly, annoyed. “Fine… But make sure to be back before the ceremony begins. A wedding without a groom... It would kill Tania.”

You both gave her a thumbs up and a dumb smile before running out the door.

The clock was ticking on you. And you had to get that annulment.

***

You closed up Harry’s last few buttons, making sure to leave some open. You took a few steps back to look at him. You smiled proudly. “You look great.”

He gave you a smug look. “I know.”

You laughed off his little narcissistic comment. “You know what? You look like a victorian vampire wannabe.”

“And I’m rocking the look.” He shrugged before tugging on one of his loose curl to make it fall on his face. He stepped closer to you. “Thank you.” You smiled at him tenderly. “Thank you so much for being a good friend, Y/N. I know I’ve been a terrible one lately.”

You chuckled as you pinched his cheeks in a playful way. “We’re cool, Harry. Now, let’s move before Jill kills us.”

You accompanied him to the backyard where the ceremony was about to start. He stood next to the officiant, waiting for his bride to walk the aisle. And as you watched him, glowing in the sunlight, looking beautiful and smitten, you felt a pinch in your heart and bitterness in your throat. Not that you wish it was you walking down the aisle, just that he would turn around and give you a last look that says “I don’t want to get married to her, I want to wait with you until we’re both ready.” Well, in some way, you guessed you kinda wished it was you walking down the aisle. Just.. not right now.

“Are you okay?” Gemma was standing next to you, a tender smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’m good… I’m.. you know… emotional. That’s all.”

The music started blaring in the air, the golden hour slowly approaching and bathing everything in a pool of honey. You could hear the birds chirping and the soft breeze caressing your neck, people shushing each other waiting for the bride to be announced. The air was soft and you could feel the tenderness of the atmosphere. A gentle springtime warmth and the smell of lavender. Harry’s shadow was dancing on the floor as he was waiting, chewing on his bottom lip; a little nervous thing well known to him.

You watched Tania walk down the aisle, you couldn’t bare to look at him and see the love in his eyes. A love that wasn’t yours and wasn’t for you.

She joined him in front of the officiant, ready to exchange their words of love and become one forever. You tugged on the jacket of your suit to readjust it. You listened carefully to the vows they shared and watch them place the ring on each others fingers. And you smiled widely all the way through. You made sure the officiant didn’t bring the marriage licence after Harry tipped him a little extra not to. You closed your eyes for a second and  when you opened them, Harry was kissing his bride, now his wife.

The first half of the ceremony went pretty fast, the newly weds went to get their pictures done and the rest of y’all entertained the guests and showed them around the manor where the party would be. Obviously some parts were closed to the public, the upstairs apartment where the weds would spend the night were closed and the maze in the far back of the garden was too. It was huge and we were scared people would lose their kids in there.

When Harry and Tania came back, looking stunning, kissed by the sunlight and insanely in love, they walked in the huge reception hall where everyone was waiting to cheer on them. And make them feel like real superstars.The tables for the dinner were outside, next to a beautiful lake, it was still warm and the sun was about to set. Everyone sat down at their designated place. The time for toasts and speeches was coming. First Tania’s dad did his little speech about not liking Harry at first but realising that he’s never seen his daughter so happy. Next was Tania’s sister, Jill who made a sly comment about him trying to sneak out of it this morning. Gemma was next and she gave a prompt little joke about her baby brother before congratulating the beautiful spouses. It was now your turn. You took a deep breath and stood up, you looked around, checking the faces only for your gaze to rest upon Harry.

“Ahem. Well, as most of you already know me, I’m Y/N. I’m the best-woman, it’s always been a fact; I’m just glad that I have the official title now. I didn’t really know what to do or where to go with this speech so I guess I’m just gonna check on y’all. Is everyone having a good time?” Everyone gave you a cheerful yes. “Great, cause the next five minutes are going to be absolute hell. I’m mostly just going to make fun of Harry and then I’ll swap some emotional shit by the end so you guys don’t hate me.”

You paused, leaving the time for the guests to spare you a giggle. “First of all, I would like to say, you made the worst choice of your entire life tonight, Harry.” His eyes got suddenly bigger. “You gave me a mic, and a chance to ridicule you in front of all your family and friends.” You watched him take a breath, relaxing in his chair and giving you a tender smile. “That’s really the dumbest shit you could’ve done. But anyway, I have to address a few words to today’s main man. I can honestly say that he’s one of the most handsome, most funny men you’ll ever meet and I’m proud to call him my friend. So if you bump into him today…” You turned your face to look around. “Where’s Cam?” Cam stood up and waved, cheering you. “Ah! Here he is! Today is his birthday so please buy him a drink.” You waved back at him with a big smile. “Happy birthday Cam!” Everyone said happy birthday and Harry’s smile got wider.

“Well, I was thinking what crazy story I could tell about Harry today. Cause we had so many crazy ass stories together, ones that end up in basements, others on top of roofs and some ending in crappy ass motel rooms in Vegas.” He chew the interior of his cheek, holding a giggle. “And then I thought ‘What is the story that sums up perfectly Harry?’ Could it be that time he bit off a piece of his tongue after jumping out a window while high off his ass on shrooms or that time we got locked up in a hotel room in Atlanta and somehow managed to burn the carpet? Yeah… We fucking burned that carpet.” You let a breathy laugh escape your lips, reminiscing that night.

“So, I had to think long and hard about this… Long and hard also being something Harry… Well no, I promised I wasn’t going to say anything sexual during this speech.” You turned to look at the next table. “Hi Anne! This is Harry’s mom, guys!” She laughed and gave you a big smile.

“Well, then I remembered that story… It was after Harry’s SNL double duty.. And we were throwing this after party to celebrate and by the end of the night, we were both hammered, there was no-one left in that penthouse in NYC, except for us and then fucking Rocketman started playing outta nowhere and we sang that shit with our hearts, as the sun rose behind us. And despite all the glamour, Harry ended up throwing up in the bathroom. But just that moment of drunken glory singing Rocketman at the top of our lungs with the sun rising. And nothing else mattered. In that moment, Harry was the fucking Rocketman.”

You took a moment to breath.

“And you are. You’re a fucking legend, Harry. I’ve known you since we were five, from the first time you sang in front of your mom to you touring arenas around the world. I kinda been a witness of your greatness, I guess… Truth is, the moments I’ll remember the most and the ones that makes you such a good friend, and probably an amazing husband, are the ones when the lights are off, when you’re just a dorky, lanky stupid white guy. When you bring me soup when I’m sick, when you tell me everything will be alright when I’m about to give up, when you scream Bohemian Rhapsody in the phone, when we dance at 2AM in the kitchen or when we sing Rocketman as the sun rise.” You took a little breath, watching as Harry gave you the biggest grin, probably a little teary-eyed.

“Well, I’d still like to remind y’all that he threw up that night, and many other nights actually.” You laughed.

“But hey, I’d like to finish by addressing a few words to the beautiful bride... You still have time to run away. But if I were you, I wouldn’t do so. He reserved a private beach in St. Barts… Run after the honeymoon, girl, get yours.” You winked at her.

“All jokes aside, I hope this day has been as beautiful and fairy-tale like as you dreamed it would be because you look like a princess and I’m glad you found your prince. I hope you guys live happily ever after.”

You started raising your glass as the end of your speech approached. “I’ll end this little speech by saying on behalf of the beautiful bridesmaids and groomsmen, thank you to Harry and Tania for including us on this very special day. And if I could ask you all to join me in a toast.” You were now holding your glass up. “To the happy couple, Harry and Tania, may you live a beautiful wedded life!”

Everyone joined you in the toast and you sat back down, giving Harry a small grin that he gave you right back, letting you know that you did a great speech.

The party started going well, people were chatting and laughing and the beautiful lights lit up the garden. The food came a little late but it was all so good, there was nothing to really complain about.

After the main course, people got up to dance and request songs to the band… You were talking with one of the waiters when Tania interrupted you.

“Hey, have you seen Harry? I can’t find him anywhere and the cake is going to arrive any minute now and we’re supposed to cut it together.” Her sharp tone made you uncomfortable.

“Hm… I haven’t seen him but I’m gonna check around and I’ll make sure he’ll be here for the cutting of the cake!”

“Fine. You better find him fast.” You watched her leave and greet some old couple drinking champagne.

You thought for a second ‘where the fuck could Harry be?’. You started by checking on his family, not being too pressuring so they wouldn’t worry. None of them saw him in the last half hour. You asked Jeff and then check with the waiters and still no sight of him.

You decided to go check inside; the bathroom, the upstairs apartments… And you found him in the closed office on last floor of the manor. You walked in quietly and closed the door behind you.

“Everyone is looking for you, man. What the fuck are you doing?”

He was leaned on the open window, watching the night sky.

“Yeah, what the fuck am I doing, Y/N?” He was playing with the only ring on his fingers : his wedding ring.

You stepped closer, placing yourself right next to him, your arm touching his.

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

He scoffed softly. “Yeah… I just… What if all of this is a fucking mistake?”

“Whew.. You’re having cold feet now? You’re always late to the party…” You watched him as he giggled, his hair gently flowing with the midnight breeze.

“Look, it’s not a mistake if you love her. And I know you do.”

“You know Jill followed us this morning? She literally threatened me that she knows what’s going on and…”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah. That crazy bitch followed us.” He threw his arm in the air.

“Hey… Be nice, she’s not crazy. She’s just a bitch. Why in hell did she follow us?”

“Because she was having suspicions I was cheating so she followed us and saw us going to the law cabinet.”

“Fuck. So she knows about the marriage?”

“No, I don’t think so… But like… About this marriage, the one of today, I don’t want it… You were right. I don’t want to get married to miss Boring Pants.”

“Oh no… Oh hell no… Why is that happening right now? You have to be downstairs in 10 so you can cut your fucking wedding cake and you’re hitting me with the ‘I don’t want to be married’ shit? Harry I swear to god…” You sighed loudly and he gave you the puppy dog eyes.

“Don’t blame me! I’m just a little boy.” He always had the timing for a good joke.

“Oh… I’m blaming you. I’m blaming your dumbass.” You both laughed and suddenly it wasn’t the sky you were watching, it was each other. The stars were reflecting in his eyes and his floppy curls made him look so pretty.

“I know… It’s not like there is no-one else to blame anyway!” He chuckled and you gazed fondly at him, tracing his features with your eyes… From his jawline to his eyebrows, finally looking at his lips.

“You know your speech was great… It reminded me of all the crazy things we did together. You’re my partner in crime.” He stared into your eyes for a minute, his teeth playing nervously with his bottom lip.

“Yeah… We always been partners in crime.”

And in the floating moment of silence between you two, the space between your face got smaller and smaller; so small you could feel his breath on your face.

“I really want to be with you.” He whispered on your lips before his hand grabbed your face so he could kiss you. It was intense and soft and somehow you felt like your feet lift up from the ground. You were holding his hands on your face and slowly opened your lips but before your tongues could meet, a voice from the hallway resonated: “Harry, Y/N, what are you guys doing? They’re waiting for the cake!!”

Jeff’s footsteps were getting closer to the door and so, ended prematurely your kiss. You inhaled deeply and before Jeff walked in the room, you locked eyes with Harry and his swollen lips and a blissful smile on his face.

“They’re waiting on you, Harry! Get your ass down, right now!”

You watched him leave the room silently, still a little shook from what just happened.

Jeff stroked your arm in a soft way. “Are you good?”

“Yeah… I’m.. Great. Everything’s great. So great. What a great wedding.”

You walked off still rambling about how great everything was. Jeff watched you leave, a confused and amused look on his face. He followed behind you closely as you walked back downstairs.

You walked straight to your seat, making sure to grab a glass of champagne from one of the waiter’s platter and chugged it down in one stroke before sitting down. Harry and Tania were standing in front of all their guests and they announced the cake. Two waiters came out with a cart and on it; a huge white cake with pink roses all over it. It was more pretty than it probably tasted good. They held the knife together and cut the first piece. They both took a spoonful of the cake and gave each other a taste. Everyone was clapping as they wiped the cream off of their face.

The waiters started serving the cake to all the guests. You were pretty much blacking out, the lights around you were flying and everytime someone talked to you, you would just nod or laugh. Every now and then you would catch Harry’s gaze on you and you’d feel your cheeks burning. It was a weird feeling, being at the wedding of your bestfriend and resenting every minute of it. How did you got to this mess?

You made the movie in your head. You met Harry in kindergarten, after he stole your favorite crayon and you almost beat his shit up. The school called both your moms because the teacher saw you two fighting and from there you wouldn’t let each other live. You spent most of elementary school together, doing stupid science experiment in the back of his Holmes Chapel room. You two would always buy and wear the worst graphic tees at the same time. Then, in middle school people started bullying you and Harry would always stand up to them and defend you. You would play video games in your basement and watch each other’s acne break out and he even came to the dentist with you for your first braces. In 9th grade, when you were reaching your dreadful 14th birthdays, it seemed all that mattered was you never had a first kiss, neither you or him. So you decided to take the matter in your own hands and during one of your recurring sleepovers at his place, you suggested to give each other a first kiss. You climbed onto his bed and hid under the covers, a flashlight and some potato chips between us; he leaned onto your face and kinda sucked your lips in the weirdest way and you thought it was great.

And tonight it was great, and maybe it’s the nostalgia or maybe it’s the fact that looking back to everything you did together showed you that no-one will ever know you better and love you better. One of the common mistakes you’ve made in love was considering romantic love as a superior kind of love when your friendships always sustained you more than any romance. And now it was becoming clear, friendship was a strong love, your friendship with Harry was a very strong love; filled with intimacy and commitment and now passion. It was the kind of love you couldn’t let go.

You avoided Harry for most of the night despite him trying to check up on you a few times; you would pretend someone’s calling you or that you have to go to the bathroom; really anything that would put off the conversation with him. How were you supposed to discuss what happened now that you knew how you feel about him? It was a predictable heart-suicide.

The rest of night went achingly slow. It was already 4:30 in the morning. You were going around helping the waiters clearing the place and cleaning. Harry and Tania were saying goodbye to the last guests to leave while Gemma and Jill were showing their rooms to the guests that were staying the night.

You made a last round to the kitchen to pay the caterer and tip a little extra the waiters. When you came back to the garden, Tania and Jill were going back inside and Harry was nowhere to be seen.

You walked around, watching the night sky and the stars reflecting on the lake. You sinked into the garden as the darkness of the night was washing over and the lights of the party were fading… Your eyes got caught by a soft and dim light in the far background of the garden. There; a weeping willow with light strings on its branches and underneath it, Harry was sitting alone, playing with the twigs under him. You walked up to him and quietly sat next to him. You didn’t look at him but the night was warm and the tree branches dancing to the breeze made the atmosphere softer.

“So…” You paused as you brought your knees back to your chest. “That was a beautiful wedding.”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I’m trying to picture what my life will look like.”

“Hm… I see a nice house on the hills and a few babies.” You still didn’t take a look at him, you were just watching the sky reflection in the pond of water in front of you.

“Sounds good… I can see it.” A giggle left his mouth. “What about you? What do you see for the future?”

“Oh shit. That’s some existential dread right there cause I don’t know. I can’t tell you where I’ll be in two weeks. Can’t even tell you what I’ll eating for breakfast tomorrow morning.”

He scoffed. “That sounds good too.”

“I guess so… I love not knowing, I guess. I love a good adventure.”

“So do I…” He turned his face to look at you. “Do you think I’m out of adventures now?”

You finally locked eyes with him; his face was softly lit by the lights in the trees and he looked a little tired. “Nah.. I don’t think so. I think you have plenty new adventures coming your way.”

He sighed and turned his eyes away from you. “They won’t be with you though.”

It took you by surprise. No they won’t. You felt a sore feeling in your throat. You took some time to answer. “No… They won’t be.”

A moment of silence filled up the air. You could hear the breeze and the water.

Harry finally spoke up. “Should we talk about it?”

A breathy and nervous laugh stifled through your teeth. “About what?”

“What happened in the office earlier?” He raised his eyebrows at you in a smug way. “When you kissed me?”

“First of all, you kissed me!”

His voice went up two octaves higher as he playfully answered. “Did I?”

“Yeah you did!”

“It was nice…” He said this so nonchalantly, as if it was nothing, as if it didn’t mess up with your mind.

“It was nice? It was mostly the dumbest shit you’ve done tonight. And you got fucking married tonight so...”

He chuckled… “I know…” He took a deep breath before gazing far ahead. “What are we supposed to do about all this?”

You sighed softly, trying to come up with an answer. You thought that being a good friend you should tell him that it was a mistake and that he’s happily married and will live a beautiful life and so will you… But it wasn’t the truth.

“Look… I don’t know. I don’t know what the fuck happened in those last weeks. I  fucking wish I could tell you that everything is on track, that you married the love of your life and that everything will be okay but it feels like a lie. When I say it at loud, I hear myself and I hate it.”

He pinched his lips as he listened to you...“Yeah… I mean, we’ve known each other for 20 years. 20 years, that’s a fucking lifetime. And I can tell that everytime something in my life goes wrong, you’re right there and when something goes right, you’re always there too. I try to think of what I want my life to look like, what’s next and now I’m faced with what’s next and it’s not what I want... It’s not you.”

“That’s some bullshit, isn’t it? How nobody else will ever know you better than I do? And nobody knows me like you do? And how close we are and suddenly our closeness is tearing us apart. That’s some tragic poetry shit right there, I hate it. I always thought you and I would be like 70; making wheelchair races and talking shit about the neighbors wig. And now, I think that’s what I want, you know but I also want to…”

He interrupted you. “I would win the races, though.”

“Huh?”

He insisted, a smug smile on his face. He was trying to break the tension.

“I would win the race.”

You laughed at his face. “No, you wouldn’t! I would beat your ass every time.”

He let a soft chuckle leave his mouth. “Yeah you would….”

He sighed before picking up the conversation again.

“Anyway…” He took a deep breath. “I want that too. But I also want to kiss you and dance with you and fuck you and do all the next crazy shit with you. I want to live those adventures with you.”

Your heart fluttered and you felt a warm rush get to your cheeks. And you felt like everything was falling into places. You and him together; it made sense. But then reality hit you in the face; he had a wife waiting for him a few miles away, he had a new life in LA and you had to move on or none of you would be happy. Because the truth was, if it wasn’t for each other being in the way, he would be next to Tania right now, happy and ready for his married life. And you would be in love with someone else, someone you can have.

“Maybe we’re just standing in the way of each other’s happiness. Maybe all this don’t mean a thing…” You paused to look at him. “You’re happy, right?”

He looked confused for a second, he bat his eyelashes twice trying to understand what you mean and then you saw it on his face. He got you. “Yeah.. I mean I thought I was, at least…”

“You see! That’s what I mean. If I wasn’t there, you wouldn’t be second guessing everything.”

He was quiet, his voice was down. It was hard reading him right now but you could tell he knew the answers. “Maybe… Would you?”

“What?” You asked yourself what did he mean with this question?

“Would you second guess if it was for me?”

That was it. He understood it. Being in the way of each others happiness, that was it. You thought for a second, if you were in his situation, what would you do? Would you go back to your spouse or would you leave with him? Would you even think about it?

“I don’t know… I probably shouldn’t.”

He swallowed the gulp in his throat and suddenly the air got colder. “I guess that says it all, then.”

You inhaled deeply, trying to hold back tears that were slowly taking over.. “So, that’s it?”

He smiled with all the tenderness known to him. “I love you, Y/N.”

Your heart broke a little… It was a goodbye more than an I love you. So you told him goodbye too. “I love you too.”

He got up and brushed over his pants to sweep off the twigs off him. You looked at him, still sitting down.“We should just do what’s best for each other.”

He gazed down at you, a sad smile on his face. “For a second I thought we’d run away together but…” He coughed softly. “We both know that’s not what’s best.”

You tried to steady your breathing and keep your composure as you started getting up too. You turned around for a second and gave him a last look before leaving. “I guess I’ll see you around...”

***

Weirdly enough life without Harry was bearable… London seemed empty and the bars and places you used to hang out to seemed lifeless but it wasn’t all bad. You weren’t worrying about him or about yourself and you were just going along with your routine, your job, seeing your friends, a few dates and whatever else in between. It has been 10 months since the wedding day, almost a year if you round it, you haven’t seen Harry in that time, a few check up texts every 3 months and a congrats for your new job was all you got from him… You had to convince yourself it was enough.

You were laying down on your couch, wrapped up in your jog pants and oversized hoodie; you were switching channels trying to find something remotely interesting to fall asleep to. It was already 11PM and the city lights outside the window were reflecting on the floor of your living room… Your phone rang next to you and you grasped it to check your notifications.

Harry sent a message: I did something stupid

You were confused as fuck at this weirdly threatening text from Harry. It’s been months since he texted you so what did that mean?

You heard a knock that you thought was the TV until it got louder so you got up to check on it. You walked to the door carefully. When you opened it, your heart missed a beat.

“Hey… Told you I did something stupid.”

Harry was standing at your door, a cheeky smile on his face and you were just looking at him, confused.

“What are you doing here?”

He inhaled in a smile. “Doing what’s best, I guess…” You tilted your head to the side, trying to understand what he meant. “Look, you don’t have to let me in but if I’m not going to be with you then I just don’t want to be with anyone else. I’m not asking you to elope with me… Again…” He chuckled and you let a giggle fall from your lips. “I just wanna be friends again.”

You just couldn’t get that stupidly happy grin off your face so when he stepped closer to you, reducing the space between your faces, you just grabbed his face and kissed him. You could feel him smile against your lips and his hands grabbed your waist pulling you even closer. “I guess we’re just doing what’s best, huh?” You giggled into his mouth and he kissed the corner of your lips, smiling against your skin; “That’s exactly what we’re doing.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips and to your cheek and your jaw. Whatever was happening right now was the best for you and for him, so you’d just work out the details later.

[loveisblindfanfictionbka]

Love Is Blind: Chapter Three

Marcus smirked as he watched Chris mess with the straw in his drink, “Man, whoever she is has got you messed up bad.”

Chris jerked his head up and frowned in confusion, “huh?”

“You have completely zoned out on me, Bro. What’s going on?”

“Just thinking.”

“So your divorce? What happened?”

“I wasn’t any good for her. It just wasn’t gonna work out.”

“How’d she take it?”

“Not good. I’m surprised she hasn’t put a hit out on me.”

Marcus chuckled, “that woman loves you too much.”

“Loved.”

“Loves. I said what I said.”

“Do you know something I don’t?”

“Do you know she hasn’t dated since your divorce?”

“No. I never bothered to keep up with her.”

“Really?”

“I don’t have the right to. Why keep up with her life if I didn’t have the decency to stay in it?”

“You got a point.”

“So who is the new girl?”

“There is no new girl. Just somebody I’m getting to know.”

“So there is a new girl.”

“No.”

“Chris, we can play with semantics all night but be honest, do you like her?”

“Yes but we’re just friends.”

“For now.”

“She’s still in love with her ex-husband. I’m not in control of my life and neither of us are looking for anything serious.”

“Then what’s the harm in making her your new girl. You both know whats the deal up front.”

“Besides she doesn't want to meet me anyway.”

“You’ve never met?”

“I met her online. I only have a vague idea of what she looks like but we’ve never actually seen each other or spoke to each other.”

“Really? I didn’t know you were into that.”

“I set it up out of boredom but I got lucky with talking to her. She’s really nice.”

“What she do?”

“She’s a Vet. Owns her own clinic and shelter”

“Nice. Is she local?”

“Not sure. I know her business is in the city. Never asked if she lived there or not.”

“Chris, you might know her already.”

“I doubt it besides I think the not knowing her is the best part.”

“No identity, no expectations.”

“Exactly.”

“Well more power to you. Hope you don’t miss out on an amazing woman wanting to be all mysterious and shit.”

“I’m not concerned.”

A: How has your day been?

C: Hectic. My daughter caught the flu so I’m out of commission for the next few days

A: Aww...poor baby. Is this the first time she’s been sick?

C: No so I’m pretty prepared for the theatrics that will be coming my way

A: She’s that kind of kid, huh? Lol

C: Lol regardless of the fact that she’s three, she gets sick and reverts to an infant but I love babying her. Just don’t tell her that

A: Lol, your secret is safe with me

C: How have you been?

A: Good. Finalizing details for this gala a certain someone got me to attend

C: Lol, you made the deal, I just accepted

A: Yea. Whatever.

C: Did you decide on a date for our virtual outing?

A: I mean you have the child

C: It’s not like I’m gonna be leaving my house though

A: That is true

C: Are you nervous?

A: No, it’s not like you’re gonna hear my voice or see me. What’s there to be nervous about?

C: I don’t know I’m asking you

A: Are you free this weekend?

C: 8 pm Saturday?

A: Works for me

C: Cool

A: You know you could’ve just picked a time and told me

C: Yea but it was your idea so your choice

A: Hmm...I guess

C: What you thinking about?

A: If I should send you a sneak peek of my dress

C: You have it already? I thought the gala wasn’t for another month

A: A month goes by fast especially if you own your own business, time is not of the essence

C: Ah, very true. Are we still doing text to speech or?

A: I have some equipment I can use for voice changes. You?

C: I work at a college, I’m sure I can find some

A: Cool

C: Is your voice that distinctive that I’d be able to figure out who you are from hearing it?

A: Yes.

C: Ah, now I’m curious

A: It’s not that I’m worried about knowing you but I’ve been interviewed and stuff before so hearing my voice would definitely be a dead giveaway and ruin the mystery

C: I understand. 

A: Does any of this make you uncomfortable?

C: No. It keeps things simple and uncomplicated. No complaints from me

A: Cool

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Robyn quickly composed herself as she posed for the picture in front of her phone. The self-timer clicked and she grabbed the device to see her handy work. She smiled at the successful shot. No identifying marks but it captured her body and clothing perfectly. She sat down and logged into her dating app to send the picture to Chris. Not wanting to be consumed with nervousness, she logged out completely before taking off her clothes and heading to take a shower. Their double blind virtual outing was tonight.

Chris smiled as his phone pinged and he clicked on the new message. The long-sleeve navy blue dress hugged every curve of Anna perfectly. She was completely covered but it still felt just as sexy as if she was naked. That was an art. The message read, “I probably could’ve waited a few weeks to send you this but I figured what the hell. What do you think?”

Chris rubbed his hand along his chin then through his hair as he stared at the picture. Was he making a mistake letting this stay just an online thing? Could she really be as amazing as she seemed? Maybe it was just the lust talking. He had sworn off women the past few years so it wasn’t like he had many outlets for any kind of attraction. Anesa was with his sister and cousins for the night while he had his virtual outing with Anna. He really didn’t understand why she just didn’t call it a date but then again they aren’t supposed to be dating so it makes sense.

Robyn shook off any nervousness as she sat down in front of her computer. It was easier to not be tempted to use the camera if she didn’t have one so she decided to use her desktop instead of her laptop. The older monitor was wired for sound but not video. She had emailed Chris a link to the video chat site with its autoset to start at 8pm. She glanced at the cover of the screen and sighed as the clock flipped from 7:59 to 8:00.

“Hi Anna,” an auto generated voice came through her speakers

“Chris, it’s nice to hear your voice.”

Chris laughed, “well something like my voice. How are you?”

“I’m great. You?”

“I’m good. Thank you for the picture.”

“Eh, I was trying it on and thought why not. You never answered my message”

“Well, I knew I was gonna talk to you soon so I figured it’d be easier to say what I was thinking than writing it”

“Ah, so what do you think?”

“I think you look incredible. It’s hard to be sexy and completely covered from neck to toe but you definitely pulled it off.”

“Why thank you. My friend was a little upset that I picked that dress.”

“Why?”

“She thinks I need to show more skin.”

Chris laughed, “well you’re single, no harm in doing that.”

“Single and not trying to mingle though.”

“If you look as amazing in the face as your body does. Nothing short of staying home would keep people, men especially, from trying to talk to you.”

“Oh don’t say that.”

“Why? It’s the truth.”

“Still don’t say it.”

“You’re afraid of dating?”

“No, just not prepared for it. I don’t really want to like anybody else.”

“Not even me.”

“You are a very pleasant and partially unwanted surprise. I don’t think I could not not like you though.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment”

“Good because I meant it as one,” Robyn laughed, “Feel weird yet?”

“Nope. This is a lot easier than typing though.”

“It is. 

“So how was your day?”

“It was good. I had the start of auditions for my upper level songwriting and music composition classes.”

“Really? How do those work?”

“The student either performs live or brings in a recorded piece that they wrote and/or composed.”

“Do they have to be the performer?”

“It is preferable but no. I get my share of duos from time to time.”

“Is it easier to audition as a duo or solo?”

“To me, neither. I try to be equally as hard on all my students.”

“Did you work in the music industry before?”

“Actually no, just a dream deferred, I guess.”

“What about your divorce made you switch careers?”

“Music has always been healing for me. I had no desire to be famous or anything like that but I wanted to deal with music. Teaching did that for me.”

“Were you healing from your marriage?”

“No. My mother had passed away and it just threw my life into a spiral.”

“Were you close?”

“Not like we should’ve been. I was raised by another family member and my mom wasn’t really around most of my life.”

“That’s sad.”

“It’s life. You learn to make the best of it.”

“It doesn’t sound like you did.”

“To be honest, I didn’t at first. I was mad at everything and everybody. I just gave up.”

“And your marriage was a casualty of that.”

“Yup.”

“And you still love her?”

“I don’t want to but I do.”

“I know that feeling. So you were adopted by the family member or they just took you in?”

“Just took me in, nothing official.”

“Oh ok.”

“You have a good relationship with your family?”

“Yea, I think we still sit on different sides of the fence when it comes to my ex but other than that nothing major.”

“Why?”

“They loved him. He was my high school sweetheart so we kind of grew up together.”

“Same here. Do they want you guys to get back together?”

“Absolutely.”

Chris laughed.

“Sometimes I wonder if there were things he told them that he couldn’t tell me.”

“It’s possible. It's easier to open up to somebody you don’t feel responsible for. Men worry a lot about looking weak in front of their spouses. We wonder if women will still trust our judgment if they think we’re more emotional than logical.”

“Any woman worth her medal knows men are more emotional than logical, y’all just like to play with semantics. Just because you don’t deal with your emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist or magically go away. Y’all just have different methodologies than we do.”

“Were you a therapist in a past life?”

Robyn laughed, “No, I took basic psychology classes in college.”

“Definitely sounds like you took more than the requisite elective.”

“I did. Almost had enough for a minor but I overloaded on vet classes to try to finish my bachelor’s early.”

“Did you?”

“Just a semester early, nothing too major.”

“That’s awesome. Were you always a vet?”

“Actually no. I took a few years off after veterinary school, did a bunch of odd jobs before I came back to my chosen profession.”

“Ah, good deal.”

“It had its perks.”

“How’d your husband feel about that?”

“We weren’t married initially but he didn’t seem to mind even after we did get married. He had a bit of an old school rearing and liked being a provider, I can admit.”

“And all that time you never had children?”

“I don’t think he could’ve emotionally handled children but then again, we might have fought for our marriage more if there were some involved.”

“You think so?”

“We both grew up in separated families, raised by a single parent or guardian. Two parent households weren’t the norm for either of us.”

“Ah ok.”

“We had always maintained the idea of having children once we got married but then we got married and things just didn’t work out. I wanted to try immediately after the ceremony but he kept stalling. First, it was getting his career off the ground then the timing just wasn’t right and by then we were divorced. I don’t think he wanted children with me.”

“You know being a parent isn’t something to take lightly, from what it sounds like it wasn’t you, he just wasn’t ready. At least, he was self aware to know that.”

“And your wife?”

“After the first year, we barely had sex.”

“Were you not attracted to her anymore?”

“I was. I just didn’t really like myself anymore and it made it hard to be physical with her. We had years of having sex and making love. I wasn’t the same so it didn’t feel the same, I felt like I was shortchanging her.”

“Sounds like you made a lot of decisions for her.”

“I know she would’ve stayed if I didn’t leave but I also knew she wasn’t happy. I couldn’t say I love her and subject her to an unhappy marriage, it’s not fair.”

“Why didn’t you just get help?”

“I did that’s what led me to ask for a divorce.”

“Your help told you to get divorced?”

“Not explicitly. My therapist told me that I needed to take time to focus on myself with no distractions. My mother had died, My father showed back up in my life. It just felt like everything was falling apart and then I had my wife. Trying to be supportive but completely unhappy and walking on eggshells. It felt like I was torturing her and I didn’t want us to live like that. I didn’t want her to live like that. When I tried to explain what was going on, it just made everything worse.”

“What you mean?”

“I broke her. In such a short marriage, I broke her and I didn’t know how to undo what I had done. I also wasn’t in the space to undo it. I just wanted to die and I didn’t want her to see that.”

‘Did you try to-”

“It was a week after she had moved out. Complete nervous breakdown.”

“Chris, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. It was bound to happen. The mind can only take so much before it has to reset itself.”

“Did you tell her?”

“No. I made my family promise not to say anything to anyone either. I made her leave for that exact reason. Sometimes you can just feel when you’ve reached your breaking point.”

“True. So she had no idea?”

“No. If she had, she probably would’ve came back and never went through with the divorce. I didn't want her spending her life fixing my mess, that’s my job.”

“Wow. I appreciate you telling me this.”

“I’m surprised I did. Had this been a year or two ago, I probably would’ve stopped talking to you as soon as you asked about her.”

“Really?”

“Yea. Failure sucks.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like you failed. It’s not like all avenues had been exhausted.”

“If your ex-husband had did this, would you be so accommodating?”

“If he had actually told me all this happened with him, absolutely. This is so much different than the silence and moping around that I got.”

“What if it wasn’t?”

“I mean I definitely have to get over feeling so betrayed first. Ten years of a relationship and he couldn’t trust me enough to let me in, that’s a hard pill to swallow.”

“Yea but it happens. I imagine my ex-wife would probably feel that exact same way.”

“I might not know you well enough to say this but I really think you should find her and talk to her. The years may have softened her.”

“I don’t think it would be right. I caused her enough issues, the last thing she’d probably want is to be reminded of me.”

“There you go making decisions for her again. You never know until you find out.”

“I guess.”

“Unless you don’t want to find out.”

“What you mean?”

“I think you’re afraid that you really did break her and she never bounced back. I think finding out that she hasn’t moved on scares you more than anything.”

“I-”

“You love her and I don’t think you will ever stop, so you want her to be happy. You want her to have forgotten about you and got everything she ever wanted in life. But if she hasn’t, you’d have to realize that though you did everything to protect her, you made the biggest mistake making her go especially when she didn’t want to. As a woman who’s been there and still there, you didn’t give her a chance to be what you needed because you were so worried about not being what you thought she wanted, even though you never asked.”

Robyn pulled her covers up under her chin as she laid back staring at her ceiling. Talking to Chris, really got her to thinking about her ex-husband. Did something happen to him to make him shut him down? Did he really walk out to save her like he told her? If so, why didn't he trust her to be there for him? At least this Chris is healed but clearly she has a penchant for damaged men. Is she a damaged woman? Did her ex really break her to the point she could never recover?

Chris sat on the phone with Anesa, half listening to her ramble about her day. He was going to go get her from his sister’s house but after talking with Anna, he needed the night to himself, to regroup. He couldn’t say that she was wrong. He never really thought about if his ex-wife was happy or not since he left. At least not out loud. Like what right did he have to shake up her life again after shaking it up in the first place? That’s why he never asked about her. It wasn’t right to be about her life if he made the initiative to walk out of it. Anna really showed him the other side of the situation, it really wasn’t as pretty and hopeful as he thought it would’ve been. He never thought of his divorce as a mistake but did he really ruin something that could’ve been fixed?

[tabloidtoc]

OK, June 8

Cover: Cher Turns 74 -- in hiding and in love 

Page 1: Big Pic -- Kristin Chenoweth in a Winnie the Pooh onesie with boyfriend Josh Bryant and her dog Thunder 

Page 2: Contents 

Page 3: Contents 

Page 4: Kristin Cavallari dating again -- she’s ready for romance just one month after her split from husband Jay Cutler 

Page 6: Meghan Markle chronicled her time in the U.K. in a secret diary and the revelation has sent The Firm into a tailspin -- it’s confirmed everyone’s worst fears that Meghan has them over a barrel and could bring them down with the click of a finger 

Page 7: After Jennifer Lopez’s daughter Emme wowed the crowd with a surprise appearance during the Super Bowl halftime show J.Lo’s ready to take on the full-time role of stage mom as the 12-year-old preps to release a bilingual children’s book of prayers, three years after her split from music producer Jack Antonoff it seems Lena Dunham is still nursing a broken heart so much so that’s it’s affecting her day-to-day life, after more than 15 years of friendship Ashton Kutcher and Dax Shepard are still thick as thieves 

Page 8: Though it’s been two years since Tom Hardy wrapped up filming as the titular character in Capone which has just recently been released but the renowned Method actor still can’t get out of the notorious gangster’s mindset so much so that even his wife Charlotte Riley who is used to Tom’s extreme behavior during a film shoot is rattled by his demeanor and she’s telling him not to take any more weirdo roles because it affects their personal life, Jon Hamm is desperate to work intimately with January Jones again and the quickest path to that is through a Mad Men reunion -- Jon still feels deeply connected to January and in a lot of ways she’s the closest he’s had to a real-life spouse after the years they spent as an onscreen couple, The Bachelorette Hannah Brown is feeling the consequences of her actions after blurting out the N-word while singing along to DaBaby’s track Rockstar in an Instagram Live video and she apologized immediately but the backlash has been pretty brutal 

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- silver gowns -- Diane Kruger, Reese Witherspoon, Janelle Monae 

Page 11: Nina Kiri, Catherine Zeta-Jones 

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Betty Gilpin vs. Nina Dobrev ✅, Chiara Ferragni vs. Dakota Fanning ✅

Page 13: Kaia Gerber vs. Nicky Hilton Rothschild ✅

Page 14: News in Photos -- during her televised City of Lover Concert Taylor Swift unveiled a few personal photos from her trip to France last September 

Page 15: Pierce Brosnan congratulated son Dylan for graduating from the USC School of Cinematic Arts, Vanessa Hudgens, Adriana Lima relaxing in Florida, Ariana Grande shows off her new butterfly tattoo in an Instagram selfie 

Page 16: Lance Bass pointed out his platinum locks before dyeing them blue, Gwyneth Paltrow shared a snap of her and Chris Martin’s daughter Apple 

Page 17: Adam Sandler on a bike, Kate Beckinsale brushes her cat Clive, Elizabeth Hurley and her dog Ava, Britney Spears 

Page 18: Dean McDermott and son Beau playing golf, Sara Gilbert and estranged wife Linda Perry with son Rhodes at an L.A. park, Melissa Gorga played basketball with kids Antonia and Gino and Joey 

Page 19: Drew Barrymore read to her Instagram followers to take part in the Save With Stories fund, Shawn Johnson East and daughter Drew, Pink and kids Jameson and Willow

Page 20: Color Theory -- these ladies brightened up their looks at home -- Elle Fanning, Lottie Moss 

Page 21: Taraji P. Henson, Jennifer Love Hewitt 

Page 22: Arnold Schwarzenegger on a bike, Brooke Burke filmed a new exercise routine for her fitness app, Devon Windsor is having way too much fun doing physical couples challenges with husband Jonathan Barbara

Page 23: Josh Hutcherson on a bike ride around the neighborhood, Nicole Scherzinger and her boyfriend Thom Evans demonstrated easy workouts you can do at home, Venus Williams on the tennis court in Palm Beach Gardens 

Page 24: Inside My Home -- Kelly Clarkson’s modern mansion in L.A.’s ritzy Encino community is for sale for $9.9 million 

Page 26: What went wrong between Brian Austin Green and Megan Fox 

Page 27: Blake Shelton is worried history will repeat itself now that he and girlfriend Gwen Stefani have splashed out $13 million for a mansion in L.A. which is their first home together but Blake thought things were going great with ex-wife Miranda Lambert until they really started pooling their money and putting down roots then they started to fall apart with arguments and bad feelings, just weeks after Ashley Benson and Cara Delevingne ended their two-year relationship Ashley was spotted locking lips with rapper G-Eazy but an insider claims it’s more of a rebound than a full-fledged romance, Ariel Winter and her boyfriend Luke Benward are talking marriage just six months into their romance

Page 28: Scott Disick and his girlfriend of two years Sofia Richie are taking some time apart and the official line is that Sofia’s giving him space to work on his personal issues but everyone knows they were hanging by a thread before his rehab stint, Ryan Reynolds has kicked up his workout regimen while at home in Bedford during the quarantine and it’s all about maintaining his physique and being able to fit into his tight Deadpool gear at a moment’s notice and she’s trying to get wife Blake Lively to join him in his three-times-a-day workouts but she’s become much more relaxed about staying in shape since becoming a mom, Love Bites -- Jaime King and husband Kyle Newman split, Rooney Mara and Joaquin Phoenix expecting, Jamie Otis and Doug Hehner welcomed a son 

Page 30: Cover Story -- Inside Cher’s Private World -- from ongoing health issues to her secret new romance sources tell all about Cher’s wild life 

Page 34: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen’s unbreakable bond -- inside the Olsen twins special relationship and how Ashley is helping Mary-Kate move past her messy divorce 

Page 36: Matthew Perry on the mend -- after a rough few weeks Matthew has started to get his life back in order 

Page 38: Exes tackling quarantine together -- these former celeb couples have chosen to hunker down with each other. What could go wrong? -- Khloe Kardashian and Tristan Thompson, Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber, Mario and Ramona Singer 

Page 39: Tyler Cameron and Hannah Brown, Jesse Metcalfe and Cara Santana, Getting Some Space -- these still-coupled duos have socially distanced from each other -- Julianne Hough and Brooks Laich, Johnny McDaid and Courteney Cox, Emma Heming and Bruce Willis 

Page 40: Interview -- Dua Lipa opens up about her new album and her life off stage 

Page 42: Summer Stunners -- swimsuit models spill fitness and diet secrets that will have you beach-ready in no time -- Nina Agdal, Irina Shayk 

Page 43: Emily Ratajkowski, Olivia Culpo 

Page 46: Style Week -- Gabrielle Union recently unveiled her Spring/Summer 2020 NY&Co collection with a sizzling campaign shot in Miami’s Little Haiti 

Page 48: Summersalt X Tanya Taylor swim collection, Katy Perry’s favorite headband 

Page 50: Warm-weather must haves -- Emily Ratajkowski 

Page 52: Beauty -- fast and east beauty boosters -- Kristen Bell, Ashley Graham 

Page 54: Entertainment 

Page 58: Buzz -- Sarah Jessica Parker commemorated her and Matthew Broderick’s 23rd wedding anniversary with an IG tribute 

Page 60: Hollywood Heat Meter -- Ellie Goulding occasionally fasts for 40 hours, Jonah Hill is the actor who swears the most in his films, Ryan Seacrest’s droopy eye and slurred speech during the American Idol finale was from exhaustion, Mindy Kaling will be cowriting the Legally Blonde 3 script, Brad Pitt recorded a surprise message for Missouri State University grads, Kanye West’s former bodyguard Steve Stanulis revealed his time working for the rapper 

Page 61: Sound Bites -- Chris Evans on why he caved and joined Instagram, Catherine Zeta-Jones on why her husband Michael Douglas doesn’t use TikTok, Ellie Kemper on shooting the Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt special with Daniel Radcliffe, Ryan Reynolds on quarantining with his three daughters 

Page 62: Horoscope -- Gemini Heidi Klum 

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Denise Richards 

[lilyvandersteen]

Out of the Blue: Chapter 4

Cover art: @redheadgleek​

Beta extraordinaire: @hkvoyage​

Links: AO3, FF.net

Author’s Note:

Snarky Kurt is coming out to play... Ooh, Blaine, you picked the wrong person to anger!

Chapter 4: Called Out

“There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.”

(An excerpt from Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen)

Kurt was quick to welcome their guest of honor, who’d apparently brought his BROTHER to the wedding -hmm… Did that mean he was single at the moment?

One quick look confirmed that Mr. Anderson was still the handsomest man in all of North America. And if the rumors were true, he dated men as well as women, so Kurt actually stood a chance with him. Therefore, he made sure to mention he was single and very available while bringing him to the brides and officially introducing them.

Kurt adjusted his cravat and checked his coif while Mr. Anderson was congratulating the brides, and then graciously accepted Mr. Anderson’s praise of the decorations as he steered him up the fire escape and towards the circle of chairs they’d set up for the ceremony.

“It’s going to be pretty informal, as you can tell,” Kurt said, “Santana didn’t want to make a big production of it. Wanted nothing stiff or formulaic. That’s just not them.”

Mr. Anderson grinned. “I’ll like it all the better for that.”

Kurt shot him a quick smile and dashed off to Elliott to tell him to start the ceremony, sent Rachel over to Artie for the procession song, warned Tina to start taking pictures and then told bridesmaids Mercedes and Quinn as well as Britt and San to walk to their assigned spot.

As Rachel sang “The First Time I Saw Your Face”, the brides walked into the circle hand in hand and smiling – Brittany widely and Santana tremulously. Tina’s camera shutter clicked at a fierce pace, and Kurt stood there taking it all in for a moment, his throat thick with emotion.

Then he jumped back into action, taking the ring box out of his inside pocket and tying the rings around the necks of Lord and Lady Tubbington. Carrying their basket, he moved to stand next to Elliott.

Brittany and Santana’s vows made Kurt tear up, and by the many sniffles in the audience, he knew he wasn’t the only one affected.

Thankfully, the cats were as good as gold and stayed put throughout the ceremony, and when the right moment came, he held out Lady Tubbington to San for Brittany’s ring and Lord Tubbington to Britt for Santana’s ring.

After taking the ring off of his neck, Britt pulled Lord Tubbington closer and kissed his head.

“Oh, was that supposed to be the groom?” Elliott quipped. “Then we’ll need to start over!”

The terrace rang with laughter, and Lord Tubbington wriggled out of Kurt’s arms and fled. Lady Tubbington followed suit, but seeing as their task was fulfilled, it didn’t matter much.

As soon as Brittany and Santana had shared their first kiss as wives, to loud applause, Kurt gestured to Rachel to follow him to the kitchen, where they arranged champagne glasses on trays and filled them with an excellent spumante Kurt had found in Little Italy. Kurt got out the first batch of hors d’oeuvres, too, and they went around the terrace with their offerings.

Mr. Billionaire Anderson did not seem snobbish in the least, eating Kurt’s finger food with relish and complimenting him on the spumante, even asking to write down its name and where he got it.

When Kurt brought out his masterpiece, a three-tiered wedding cake decorated with rainbows and unicorns, as per Brittany’s request, Mr. Anderson whooped and hollered the loudest of them all, and his moan when he started eating cake made the tips of Kurt’s ears redden. He left only crumbs on his plate, and clamored for seconds, which Kurt hurried to give him, beaming.

                        Now that everyone was on their second piece of cake, Kurt took a minute to eat something himself. There wasn’t much left of the hors d’oeuvres, but what there was, Kurt decimated in seconds, and he ate one of the marzipan unicorns as dessert.

He took a glass of spumante to wash everything down in style, and surveyed the party with satisfaction. Yes, he had done it once again. The wedding was a resounding success. Now there was only the first dance to go, but that was up to Britt and San themselves.

Kurt made another round to fill up the guests’ glasses again, and then told the brides to get ready for their dance, Mercedes and Artie to sing, and Tina to catch all the magical moments on camera.

“Oh, I LOVE this part!” Rachel whispered loudly in his ear as she wound her arms around his waist.

Kurt kissed her head and hugged her back as they both watched their friends shine in their first dance.

“Look how happy they are,” Rachel sniffled. “Ah, this is amazing!”

“It is,” Kurt agreed. “Worth all the work and then some.”

“True. Though I’m going to dance a bit before I start on clean-up duty.”

“All right, then. Off you go, Miss Berry! But you will help me later!”

Laughing at her grimace, he pushed her towards the dance floor and then picked up the cake tray to wrap up what was left and put it in the fridge.

The party went on, and his friends took turns claiming the microphone for a song, until Santana took it to give a speech, thanking her wife for her promise of forever, thanking the guests for coming to witness their union, and thanking Kurt nicely for all his work organizing the wedding. He sent her an air kiss, and she half-laughed, half-sobbed, overcome with emotion.

He’d just stepped towards San to give her a hug when another voice piped up. Mr. Anderson’s brother. And for some reason, he was LIVID, accusing Britt and San of faking a wedding to swindle his brother out of an expensive gift, seeing as their family wasn’t even there, ranting and raving at the fake brides for taking advantage of his brother that way, and taking advantage of their friend to organize the whole event, too. He dissed all of Kurt’s careful wedding planning and hard work, pronouncing everything too cheap for an actual wedding.

Brittany shrank away from the venom in the guy’s voice, and even Santana seemed tongue-tied for a moment. The rest of Kurt’s friends, who had all been dancing and laughing a minute ago, now stood staring at the younger Mr. Anderson in shocked silence.

Kurt, however, felt his hackles rise. No way was this guy going to ruin everything at the eleventh hour. No way!

He fixed the man with a glare and gritted out, “Way to make snap judgments, Mr. Snob! For your information, Santana’s family is homophobic. As in, they don’t approve of her choice of spouse. They threw her out when she told them she was in love with Brittany, and are still expecting her to come to her senses and marry a man. Santana was crying this morning because her abuela wasn’t going to attend her wedding, so thank you very much for opening that wound again.”

The Andersons’ eyes flitted to Santana, who swallowed with difficulty and looked down. Brittany put her head on Santana’s shoulder and squeezed her hand in sympathy.

“And Brittany’s parents told her only last week that they’re getting a divorce,” Kurt continued. “She was so mad at them that she uninvited them to the wedding. And she’s the only child of two only children, and her grandparents are dead, so no other family. Any more questions?”

Mr. Snob rubbed his hand over his neck, his animosity all but gone. “I guess… I guess I just don’t see why people would tie the knot when they’re only twenty years old. That’s something for when you’re settled, not when you’re barely starting out.”

Kurt chuckled. “Believe me, I told them exactly the same thing when they came to me and asked if I’d plan their wedding. But they said they were sure of each other, and they didn’t want to wait. So I agreed, and made it as fabulous a small, low-budget wedding as I possibly could.”

“You did a wonderful job!” Mr. Anderson boomed, clapping Kurt on the shoulder. “This place looks like a dream, the brides are gorgeous, the ceremony was perfect, the music is lit, and I never had better hors d’oeuvres in my life. And the wedding cake! Beautiful AND scrumptious! If you ever plan a wedding again, do invite me, will you?”

Other guests chimed in with praise for Kurt as well, and soon they were all laughing and chatting and dancing again.

Kurt sent Mr. Anderson a small smile, grateful to him for defusing the tension, and then focused on Mr. Snob again. “Your assessment of me was spot-on, though, bravo. Yes, I’m the pathetic single gay who lives vicariously through his friends. Yes, I’d rather focus on their romance than fail at it myself. So far I’ve planned a wedding for my father and stepmother, for my show choir teacher and the school counselor, and now for Santana and Brittany. Because it made me happy to see them happy. And maybe that makes me a silly romantic, but it’s certainly better than thinking yourself far above anyone and being sarcastic and mean.”

Mr. Snob bit his lip and lowered his eyes for a moment, then looked Kurt straight in the eye and said, “You’re right. I was in a bad mood, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on all of you. I’m sorry.”

Kurt nodded coolly. “Apology accepted.”

Mr. Anderson put his arm around Kurt’s shoulder. “Do you know, I wouldn’t even have cared if this wedding were fake! Blaine can say what he wants, but you throw a damn good party, worth every cent of the gifts we brought! So, I’m serious, any event you’re planning in the future, send me word of it and I’ll be there.”

Kurt smiled wider at him this time. “I promise I will.”

Then he leaned in and whispered into Mr. Anderson’s ear, “And if you want to help things along, encourage Sam to propose to Mercedes. He’s been thinking and talking about it for ages, but he never makes a move. They’re over there, both of them.”

Kurt surreptitiously pointed to Sam and Mercedes so that Mr. Anderson would know whom he was talking about.

Mr. Anderson winked at Kurt and whispered back, “On it!” He sauntered back to the dance floor, bowed for Mercedes and swept her away in a quickstep.

Sam, who’d been dancing with his girlfriend until Mr. Anderson cut in, glared at his perceived rival.

Kurt grinned, and granted Mr. Snob (Blaine, apparently) only the merest glance before turning his back on him and starting to collect empty glasses and plates to take them to the kitchen. The guy was back to looking sullen, but Kurt didn’t give a hoot about that. He could sulk the whole night through, as far as Kurt was concerned.

Only, he didn’t. On his second run to the kitchen, laden with plates and trays, Kurt felt a presence behind him, and suddenly, his load was a lot lighter. Blaine had taken half of the stack and was carrying it to the sink.

“Where’s your dishwasher?” Blaine asked.

Kurt snorted. “None of that here. We wash up by hand. And by that I mean I wash up, nine times out of ten. The girls only help out when I force them to.”

“I’ll help,” Blaine offered.

Kurt quirked an eyebrow at him. “You’re a guest. The snooty kind that finds fault with every detail of the wedding I planned. Why on earth would you help me out now?”

Blaine had the grace to blush. “Hey, I said I was sorry. I was out of line, and I’m trying to make up for it. Throw me a bone, would you?”

Kurt stared at him until he started to squirm, and only then did he say, “All right, then. You wash, I’ll dry.”

They worked together in companionable silence, Blaine softly singing to himself as he scrubbed and rinsed. Meanwhile, the party petered out around them, and one by one, Kurt’s friends said their goodbyes and left.

Once the dishes were done, Kurt thanked his helper and offered him another piece of wedding cake as a reward. They sat down on the sofa and ate their cake.

Kurt felt his eyes droop, and hoped he wouldn’t have to stay up much longer. He wanted to lie down and sleep for a week on end.

He woke abruptly, because he got jostled and his head lost its comfortable pillow all of a sudden.

“Uhm, wha?” said a voice very close to him.

Kurt blinked his eyes open and found that he had fallen asleep against Blaine, who had dozed off too, if his slow reaction and slurring speech were any indication.

“You coming, squirt?”

“Don’t call me squirt,” Blaine snapped, rubbing his eyes like a five-year-old.

“Aw, Blainey, why are you still tetchy? You just got to spend some time alone with a gorgeous guy.”

Blaine rolled his eyes. “Washing the dishes.”

“You know what Nana used to say.”

“Yeah. ‘Share your life with someone you like doing chores with.’”

“And did you like it?”

Blaine blushed and lowered his eyes. Oh, wow, he had beautiful long lashes. In his own way, he was quite as handsome as his brother. While washing the dishes, he’d been singing under his breath, and his voice was lovely. And he’d washed the dishes efficiently and without complaint. Pity he was such a curmudgeon.

Mr. Anderson waggled his eyebrows until Blaine let out a plaintive “Cooooop!!”

“Blaaaaaaaine!!”

“Okay, let’s go before you embarrass me even more. And keep it down, will you. Don’t wake Kurt. He must be exhausted.”

Blaine’s eyes swept from Coop to Kurt, and he visibly started when he saw that Kurt had woken up.

“Too late for that,” Kurt drawled, sitting up. “But I can always go right back to sleep.”

Blaine looked shocked. “You don’t want to move to your bed?”

Kurt shook his head. “Nope. Whenever Britt stays over, she and San get my bed, and I sleep on the sofa. Usually, San sleeps here, but it doesn’t fit two people. When Britt stops touring with Mercedes, San and Britt will look for their own place, but for now, this works.”

Blaine bit his lip. “You know sleeping on a sofa is bad for your back, right?”

“Oh yeah. I don’t know how San has dealt with it for so long. One night here and I’m stiff and aching all over for a week.”

“So why don’t you buy an extra bed? Or at least a decent sofa bed?”

Kurt shrugged. “It’s on the list.”

“What list?”

“The list of things we need to save up for.”

Blaine raised an eyebrow. “Why did you ask for a 25K pet pavilion for your cats as a wedding gift when you can’t even afford decent beds for yourself?”

There he went again, Sir Judgy McJudge-a-Lot! He did have a point, though.

Kurt grimaced. “The cat stuff was all Brittany’s idea. We should never have let her compile the registry. We didn’t notice what kind of silly stuff she’d asked for until after your brother had bought the pet pavilion. It’s a stupid waste of money, I quite agree. If you’d like your money back, you can cancel that gift. Please do. We’ve been feeling awful about it.”

Wasn’t that the truth…

Blaine seemed slightly mollified, but still continued his questioning. “Also, if you have no money for something as basic as a bed, where did you get the dough to plan a wedding?”

Kurt flushed. Rude much? “I did a lot of it myself. I also called in a lot of favors, and borrowed stuff. And we all worked extra shifts.”

Blaine nodded, seemingly accepting this explanation. Insufferable snob!

“Well, you did a wonderful job!” Mr. Anderson boomed. “I had a splendid time, so thank you very much! And Brittany can keep the pavilion for her lovely cats. Don’t you worry your pretty heads about that!”

Kurt got up from the sofa and shook hands with Mr. Anderson. “Mr. Anderson, thank you for coming.”

“Oh, please call me Cooper. Or Coop for short. I hope to see you again soon for another party. And it’s ME who should thank YOU!”

Kurt smiled at Cooper, and then turned to Blaine. “Thank you for helping with the dishes.”

“It was my pleasure,” Blaine assured him. “And sorry again for my rant earlier. I was wrong.”

His earnestly repentant face made Kurt feel a bit guilty.

The brothers left with a smile and a wave. Kurt pulled at the heavy door to close it and then sank down against it, whispering, “You weren’t, though. You were absolutely right. We did it all for the presents.”

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [616]

Abelas escorts her into what Ellana is guessing is one of the private royal offices, the entire time he has one hand firmly on hers, keeping her attached to his side.

“Of all the days for me to not be released from duty,” Abelas says lowly, “Of all the days for Mythal to grant me momentary leave. It had to be that day.”

“I hope you didn’t get too cross with Lelander,” Ellana says, “He’s wonderful. Behind a desk. With a quill.”

“I assure you, that point has been stressed thoroughly. It continues to amaze and astonish that Lelander wound up in the ranks of Knightood rather than behind a desk in a research setting. No one, more surprised or astonished by this than Lelander himself, of course. When we return you will apologize to him. He’s been — to say the least — a trial to deal with in the wake of your absence.”

“Lelander’s always had the worst nerves.”

“And yet you did this to him.”

“It was a spur of the moment thing, it isn’t as though I was planning on it.”

“You? Plan? I would never dare accuse my lady of such.”

Abelas times that perfectly that he opens the door to the office before Ellana can respond and she’s faced with the brunt of the stares from a…from a rather decent amount of people who have every right to be cross at her and are uniquely situated to make her continued existence incredibly uncomfortable should she choose to attempt to throw herself out of the window now.

Ellana swallows nervously, and Abelas doesn’t need to hold her arm through his anymore because she’s clinging to him for dear life. Ellana mentally wills her guardian, her mentor — dare she think it? Her friend — not to abandon her to this veritable onslaught of disappointment and judgement.

And what does he do? Shove her into the room and close the door, leaning against it. Leaving her stranded all by her lonesome.

“Ellana,” Mahanon says, striding up to her and pulling her into a hug. After a second Ellana’s arms go around him as she breathes in the familiar and unfamiliar smells of him. His hair and skin, familiar with the oils they use from home. The rest of him unfamiliar. Especially in the light blue coat and the brocade.

“You’re dressed in something with lace.”

“The sacrifices I make for you.”

Mahanon pulls back, his expression soft for a moment before dissolving into the visage of a demon hell bent on ruining Ellana’s life as he pinches her cheeks between his fingers and starts stretching her face. Ellana smacks at his arms.

“Ow!” Ellana’s eyes water. “Ow! Ow! Stop!”

“You little brat,” Mahanon hisses. “Of all the idiotic, self absorbed, hare-brained, buffoonery you’ve ever done — and of all the days to do it on — “

And because Ellana has never been one to take anything lying down she starts pinching and stretching her brother’s face in return.

Thankfully, they’re in the presence of friends so there’s no consequences for behaving like children. Oh, Ellana’s not foolish enough to think that she won’t be facing other sorts of consequences, but at least this she’s going to get away with.

Josephine comes up next to her brother and puts an arm on his shoulder, “Perhaps we should all sit down for this.”

Evelyn sighs, standing on Mahanon’s other side. “Alright. Each of you let go on three. Alright? One. Two. And three.”

Ellana was half-tempted to not let go, but she does anyway, the two of them separating to rub their own faces.

“Uncalled for,” Ellana huffs.

“It was the most polite thing I could do in present company,” Mahanon retorts. “Look at poor Dorian over there, he’s so frustrated with you that he’s speechless.”

“Dorian? Speechless?”

“I assure you, I am not, I am merely gathering my many, many speeches and trying to arrange them into some semblance of order,” Dorian says from the writing desk. “Do carry on with your charming idiocy.”

Ellana winces. He’s so mad. She can tell from the crisp cut of his words.

“Dorian — “

“Ah, ah! No. I’m still focusing. You lot carry on over there.”

Ellana’s shoulder slump as she sits between Evelyn and Josephine, her brother across from her.

“What were you thinking?” Josephine says softly, putting her hand on Ellana’s. “We were worried sick.”

“I panicked,” Ellana says. “I didn’t — I wasn’t ready. I didn’t — well. I didn’t think the old fart would have made me his heir.”

“You are the only one who thought that,” Mahanon says. “Literally the only one. Everyone knew that Solas, may he rest in bloody pieces, had you as his successor.”

“He exiled me!” Ellana throws her arms up, barely missing knocking Evelyn and Josephine in the face. “To Tevinter.”

“Tone!” Dorian snaps.

“Sorry! I had a lovely time! But you have to admit that on paper it seems like a punishment! At first we all thought it was a punishment! Mother was so distraught that she was abed for a month and lost two stone weight! Father had a mental break. There was almost an insurrection! You were going to smuggle me into the Anderfels because, and I quote, at least the Darkspawn would make it quick.”

Mahanon’s lips purse together. “He called you back after a year. Your exile was for a decade, on paper.”

“That’s because I was having such a grand time it stopped looking like a punishment.”

“Ellana, focus. Why did you run? What happened?”

“I just ran. I ran as fast as I could, grabbed some baubles I could pawn along the way, ditched my horse as soon as I hit the border. Pawned my clothes, and hit the road along off-season trade routes. And then I started making my way here because I heard that you were going to have a ball for the future consort of the realm.” Ellana turns to Evelyn, taking the other woman’s hands in hers. “And I promised you, didn’t I? That I would be there. I promised you I would be there to give my most sound advice on your future spouse and I meant it. And then I got there and saw that my brother was there and I promised myself to stay as long as possible without being seen and then I ran because I thought I saw Abelas skulking about as he does.”

(And as strange as it would sound — she didn’t want to be caught with him. The Iron Bull. She didn’t want that moment, that interaction, with him spoiled. She wanted — she wanted a great many things. So many things. Too many to list, and all of them ruined.)

“I was quite surprised you know, when instead of you I got Mahanon coming up to the palace as the new ambassador. And then he told me that he got your appointment because you were to be crowned Queen fo the Dales and then you vanished into thin air and he thought you’d come here so he came along anyway,” Evelyn says.

“We were all worried sick. I must have written a hundred letters trying to see if anyone knew where you were,” Josephine says. “And at one point we had to get the vapors for Dorian because he’d worked himself up so much over it that he’d fainted.”

“That is a lie. A complete fabrication,” Dorian says from behind them. She hears his pen stop. “And — I’m very upset with you. The speech will have to wait for later. Right now I need to get this of my chest straightaway.”

Ellana turns to him and his eyes are so solemn when she meets them.

“You could have come to me,” Dorian says quietly. “Of all the things that upset me, of which we both know there are many. Of all those things. It was that you didn’t come to me that hurts me the most. Did you think I wouldn’t help you? That I wouldn’t try? I was in Ferelden at the time, I was closer than here. You could have come to me. And if not me then Josephine or Evelyn or — or any number of our friends. But you went off on your own and what if you had gone off and died and we would have never found you? And — “

Dorian’s mouth closes with a sharp click and he turns around back to the desk. “I can’t talk to you right now. I’m so beyond frustrated. Infuriated.”

Ellana’s heart sinks in her chest and she feels her eyes well up. Josephine puts her arm around Ellana’s shoulders and pulls her into a hug.

“He’s right you know. Through all of the worry and concern and panic, there was a little part of me that stung because I didn’t know about why you ran. I didn’t know anything at all and I wondered if there was something I’d done to make myself unworthy of your confidence.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” Ellana says quietly. “I was scared. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

This is exactly why Ellana can’t be Queen. She’s not even been officially announced and she’s already caused an international disaster.

Her brother sighs. “I know. But what you mean to happen isn’t always what happens. Enough of this talk for now. I brought clothes for you. Go freshen up and we’ll all have an early lunch and think about what we’re going to do when you get back home. I haven’t told anyone I’ve found you yet. I just wrote back that I have a lead. Ideally we have a vague general direction of what we’re going to do by end of day tomorrow and that might buy us some more time to sort this mess.”