#oh and dont get me wrong. im absolutely going to read the entire thing in like maybe half a year or whatever

[luvo27]

ok ok ok now that my critical thinking skills have been well and truly returned to me (i fully lost all of them when i saw first kristen appearance i will not lie) here are my Not So Great thoughts on the fantasy high webtoon adaption so far:

i had been prepared for wildly different characterization what with it being. a webtoon. i had been prepared for stuff to get cut and streamlined and softened and cutesied and toothless and bland etc etc etc. my first reaction upon hearing that fantasy high was getting adapted, and that it was going to be through webtoon??? crushing disappointment. my expectations? on the ground.

i was also very excited because i can have a great time with terrible things. i was so excited that i did actually go and fast pass all the way to episode 8

the sense of crushing disappointment has been coming and going since then because of the riz main characterness so far. This is something that can change!! there's definitely still time!!! with six main characters and 61 episodes, it's possible that it's going to end up cycling between main characters!!!!!

i don't have it in me to continue reading as it comes out probably. if by episode 20, riz is still the Main Character, i absolutely cannot be in there as it happens. if it doesn't, great!!! if it does.

oh man it is DIFFICULT to articulate how blehhh it would feel. it's like. the same thing as looking at overall fandom trends but instead for officially licensed content with regards to biases.

Does it make the most sense narratively for riz to be the main character, if there had to be one? Sure. but there's no need for him to actually BE the main character, and the story actually suffers for it.

it's just. why does there need to be a main character, and what does making it this specific character say?

aside from riz, you have gorgug who is a transracial adoptee, fabian, who is black, and three girls: Kristen, who comes out as a lesbian in the first season, Fig, who gets a girlfriend in the second, and Adaine.

there's still time for the webtoon to change and give focus to the other characters like riz has been getting so far but my hopes aren't high

look is part of my sensitivity coming from being a batman fan? maybe. i just wasn't expecting to get the same feelings with regards to character treatment here

because it leaves a bad taste in my mouth that Riz is the 'main character' out of this set of characters at the Cost of those other characters. I think giving scenes from a female character to a male character is never a good thing. I think it wouldnt feel nearly as bad if those other characters were not Main Characters themselves before this adaption, but they were, and i hate that the main character for this adaptation is the closest thing to a white boy as the main cast gets.

and obviously it's not intentional. it rarely ever is.

and oh, i know it's not canon and the og series will always be there, that's not the point. i was literally on the other side of this same exact conversation about the batman webtoon like last week.

it's about like. respect.

just. out of all the things that i was preparing myself for with respect to quality? I never thought I'd need to prep for the possibility that the other characters were not also loved, and now I do, and that's really disappointing.

[chasedeys]

not the original anon to ur recent ask but… that post just made me go crazy for joemarrtee and lsu trio. joe is absolutely obsessed with his teammates esp his wrs. thinking abt that shirt he wore with tee tb and ja’marr’s faces on it. arghhhh he makes me go insane. and that bit you put on the whole tee’s agent situation🫨😵‍💫 and joemarr and jj… yeah they’re linked together forever. sorry im just insane rn. ur post did a number on me. so many thoughts.

side note has anyone made a name for joe and tee? and also yes to the tee and jj. yeah. okay. love ur yaps.

RIGHT????

I THINK. IT'S BECAUSE. joe just. falls in love with every weapon he's ever close to. just straight up grows terrifyingly attached and just refuses to let go. it's like he really can't he's sooo attached to everything of his past it's all in his wrists and his clothes and his offseason adventures and the way he speaks to everyone even when he tries to hide it it's also in your face that kind of paradox is so fascinating to me. and he's such a giver he gives and gives and gives and that makes them fall in love right back you know. and ja'marr is just. he has this incredibly ridiculous standards that is insane and only he knows and refuses to tell literally anyone and they're honestly impossible to reach but once you do you're set for life he takes care of you period he will never be able to be chill about you ever he will say and do insane things about and for you and you can't refuse for shit. that bit of devotion is just so insane to me how did he grow into this. what made him like this. while tee is just. he's a sweetheart. have you ever seen or read a lick of his childhood i shit you not that shit moves you you will not recover and after all that tragedy he ends up as this absolutely beautiful soul with such a beautiful heart and beautiful smile and beautiful everything it's no wonder his team and the entire whodey nation falls in love with him really. and justinnn i know he's like not part of the bengals but he's so intertwined with everything because of joemarr and lsu it's kind of hilarious. and the amount of talent in him is crazyy and when you find out his lore of like. not being Noticed as a good receiver and flash forward being The receiver itl? but just the way he speaks? he's sooo humble about himself but he also knows he's leagues beyond everybody else. absolutely compelling. gorgeous.

LIKE YOU CAN WRITE SOOOO MANY NARRATIVES AROUND THESE FOURRR and i have so many. so fucking many. any possible combination of these 4. even fucking jjtee that's like basically strangers originally. any possible ship with ja'marr who is my no. 1 (guilty sorry truly coming clean here ja'marr really is that bitch to me if it isn't that obvious yet lol) i can go absolutely crazyyyyy with as you can see from all i have written in this blog god what is wrong with me 😭

I ALSO THINK this is because. i'm too in love with them?? i fear i write like i'm in love with them. do you get me. like who even knows if they're actually like this. but i write them like this. and i write like they're in love with each other so. well. there's that.

AKFLAJSLK I DONT ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT YOUR ASK IS ABOUT IM SORRY I JUST RAN WITH THIS I YAPPED ABOUT THESE 4 FOR LITERALLY NO REASON

thank you for loving my yaps 😭 i just wanna say that like. sometimes i yap with just. no thoughts. zero thoughts. please don't expect much when you ask truly i don't have much thoughts sometimes really 😭😭😭😭😭😭 but do ask anyway LMAOOO i do love getting asks

oh ship names! like generally i guess? like joemarr, joetee, teemarr, jjmarr, jjtee. what's justin and joe joejj? jjjoe? jjoe? 😭 the classic joe/justin?? the bolded ones are the ones i use personally.

oh and ja'marr ships are usually tagged with <'> too like joe'marr! but may i have a very guilt ridden confession of just tagging shit as joemarr because <'> messes up the tagging system :')) like if you search up the ja'marr chase tag link there's the 'tagged/ja’marr%20chase' and also the 'tagged/ja%27marr%20chase' :) that fills me with so much agony nobody touch me please i try not to think about it too much or i'll try to kms ahaha.

[makib1tch]

ummm all of them 😅

OKAY OKAY THISLL BE LONG BUT ILL TRY

the character everyone gets wrong : Alnst Luka. LIKE I GET THAT PEOPLE DONT LIKE HIM BUT HE ISNT THE VILLAIN. THE ALIENS ARE THE FUCKING VILLAINS. Like I lowkey feel like he doesn’t understand that what he’s doing is wrong. Like he wants to survive. Thats how the alien taught him too. DONT GET ME STARTED ILL RAMBLE WAY TOO FUCKIN MUCH

a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom: uhhh my fav is Aventurine and I see him as a switch sooooo….idk 🥲🥲🥲🥲.

screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr : uuuuuuh idk sorry

what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person? : idk if it counts but like I had a friend I vented to her and told her I $h and she started to insult me and yea I was having a panic attack and blocked her

worst discord server and why : I’m never on discord so idk

which ship fans are the most annoying? Not all of them (I sometimes ship it too) but aventio/ratiorine/call them what u want idc. Like. There are ratiorine shippers who are like "OOOOHOOHH AVENTURINE IS SUCH A HORNY BOTTOM WHOREEE AND RATIO IS A HORNY DOM EUZKZKALALAL" and then they go and ruin the entire fucking characters. Like I like the ship when it’s done right. When they respect the fuckin characters. Not when they ship them out of pure horniness. BUT NOT ALL OF THEM. Oh and it’s the same for Ruikasa (pjsk) shippers.

what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? : I used to hate Ratio. Because of the weird ratiorine shippers.

common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about : THAT LUKA FROM

ALNST IS THE VILLAIN

worst part of canon : idkidkkdk

worst part of fanon : idk too sorry im shit at ask games

number of fandom-related words you've filtered : none

the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them : Alnst Luka. Again with him. HES SUCH A FUCKIN INTERESTING AND COMPLEX CHARACTER ILOVE HIM

worst blorboficiation : the fuck is that?

that one thing you see in fics all the time : in x reader like "you have blue eyes and black hair" THEN NO THATS NOT AN X READER

that one thing you see in fanart all the time: aaaaaahh idkk I see way too much fanarts everyday

you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc) : Hyuna x Luka. I don’t understand. They’re so toxic like

there should be more of this type of fic/art: anyone comforting aventurine. My baby needs comfort. I love him. I want to hug him

it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on... : i don’t think people have been sleeping on but idk she still doesn’t get enough credit everyone go read @aventurineswife ‘s fics they’re so fuckin good.

you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like... : those x reader fics that are written out of straight up horniness. They be having the most obscene and devious devilish things.

part of canon you found tedious or boring : the whole xianzhou luofu quest ig. Expect for Tingyun I love her. But like idk I was kinda bored in it. Maybe it’s just me idk

part of canon you think is overhyped : Himekos death in csm. Like I saw people being super sad but like…idk. I didnt feel sad for her. I felt bad for Aki since he was sad yeah. But Himeko like her death didn’t do anything for me.

your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores : AAAAAAAH IDK IM SORRY

ship you've unwillingly come around to : Ratiorine, I used to hate it. Now I like it. (I’m not sure I understood the question lmao)

topic that brings up the most rancid discourse : The hospital scene in the End of Evangelion. I don’t have to explain. I think just no one should talk about it.

common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing : "Denji is a dumb pervert."

OK FINALLY FINISHED I TOOK WAY TOO FUCKIN LONG TO ANSWER THIS

I’m shit at ask games sorry lmao

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

infodumps abt a new au idea (the demon-familiars au, or the un-familiars au)

TL,DR: Reader is a witch/wizard hired by a town to handle a poltergeist/demon problem (Vanny has a cult and is trying to summon demons lol), but they aren't very good at being a witch/wizard and after a bunch of 'throwing things at the wall to see if anything sticks' and absolutely nothing working, they, in a panic, kind of accidentally summon Sun and Moon, who are equally shocked to see them and after a bunch of staring at each other like ?????????? reader ropes Sun and Moon into helping them and hides them in plain sight as their 'familiars' until they've taken care of the demonic cult problem, promising to send them home as soon as things are ok again. PLOT TWIST THEY GET ATTACHED TO EACH OTHER AND KISS PROBABLY HAHAHAAAAAA

(the long initial ramblings/brainstorming i did w the space aces in discord is copy-pasted below, if anyone wants only vaguely coherent ideas n concepts abt this au and ur willing to torture urself, go nuts w it ig lol)

taken directly from the space aces discord, i present: the reason all of my aus are barely coherent and somehow overly thought through and barebones all at once, as shown by the following example (unfamiliars au edition)

weird silly demons/familiars Sun Moon au where Reader is a (less than talented) amateur witch/wizard trying to lie themselves into a position of relative security (bc theyve had to move three different times bc towns shun n drive away witches/wizards that proves to be unhelpful) and they werent actually trying to summon sun n moon so they end up getting them involved in their scheme but oops there is some kind of other demonic threat that is actually a big problem and oops oops now we have to seriously work together to not get killed by the other eviller demon or the cult summoning it while also fooling the townsfolk into thinking that u r competent and have everything under control

Sun and Moon, a couple of demons just chilling when suddenly summoned to the material world: what in the heck Reader, having just performed a spell/ritual they've never read the instructions for backwards and facing the wrong cardinal direction: SHUT UP AND PRETEND TO BE MY FAMILIAR FOR A MINUTE OR WE ARE BOTH GONNA GET KILLED, BURNING-ON-A-CROSS STYLE

hhhgj i just had. a rlly sappy idea for the 'familiars' part

basically like. witches n wizards naturally end up casting their own 'summoning' spell for their familiar at some point, most of th time when they are really starting to understand and control their magic? so to see a witch or wizard without one it's like 'wow they're a beginner' or 'something is wrong with them, why dont they have a familiar??'

so Reader asks Sun n Moon to pretend to be their familiars partly bc 'uh oh i summoned two whole entire demons without even meaning to i have to make this look intentional' and 'if i have a familiar the people will assume im a Real Witch/Wizard and respect me more'

and at one point when they r getting to be like, actual friends instead of 'weird roommates', Sun gets curious bc ofc he does

Sun: Soooo,, we're your pretend-familiars? Reader: Yea Sun: Sooooooooo,, do u not have a familiar? I've never heard of a wizard with no familiar Reader, visibly upset/disappointed (in themselves): Yeah, well, it turns out it's only the witches and wizards with actual skills that can summon familiars. So. Couldn't tell you if I've got one or not, I've never managed a proper summoning spell. Sun, foot in his mouth: oh,, Reader: Yep.

and then later. It turns out. There are ways to make a demon into a familiar! Turns out in the distant past some wizards used to make demons they frequently summoned for spell/magic services into familiars bc it was way easier than just doing the entire summoning ritual every single time

but at this point, Reader and Sun n Moon are close enough to be good friends, and Reader doesnt want to force that kind of permanent connection on them, they probably just want to go home, theyre probably sick of being here and being around u, and,,, u get the idea

and Sun n Moon dont wanna force that kind of permanent connection on YOU bc what if ur sick of them, or ur tired of feeding and housing them or putting up with their jokes n bickering, or maybe after everything u really dont want anything to do with demons!!!

so there's a lot of sad pining that none of them know abt

bc ofc they r all idiots in this au sorry thems the rules

and then at some point there is some big threat/place they have to go to, or maybe Reader gets injured in a fight, idk take ur pick, anyway in a heat of the moment panic Moon is like 'HEY U WANT US TO BE UR FAMILIARS RIGHT??' and reader like barely conscious is like 'w??? yea??????' thinkin he means the pretend thing theyve had going on

anyway spur of the moment/'im doing this to save ur life bc i love u' familiar binding spell/ritual performed BAM now ur stuck together

and when everything is calm again n the fighting is over reader looks at Moon and is like 'so ur like,, my actual familiar now,,' and Moon, sweating bullets, unsure if this is rlly what u wanted or if u went with it out of fear of dying, is like 'yyyyyyyyyes?'

and reader starts bawling their eyes out and kisses him bc this is like. th dream scenario to u

anyway reader n sun n moon are th worlds least likely wizard/familiars combo but somehow they r absolutely unstoppable together thank u for coming to my tedtalk

[gracetoldmeto]

really long rant: why am i so scared of everything?

note: the rest of this post was a draft i made a few days ago, and was going to let rot forever, but today has messed me up so much i just said *why not* and posted bc idk... why not...

im not like 'BOO!!! jumpscare' scared just like... there are so many things in life that could go wrong that are entirely out of your control and theres absolutely nothing you can do about it, ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING, because shit happens and sometimes that shit is BAD and permanently fucks you over for life and thats just the way it is bc fate is a game of chance (this is my dramatic ass way of saying 'a forever change') but everyone says "oh if you cant control it then why worry?"

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?

NO. THAT IS NOT THE POINT. THE POINT IS I DO WORRY.

I could die tomorrow. I could get a terminal diagnosis tomorrow. Someone (else) I love could die (again) tomorrow. Maybe my house could burn down tomorrow. Maybe in some freak accident everything I've ever known is taken from me... somehow?

can i control any of this? no.

so what do i do about it??? anything i can to minimize the fallout just in case...

bc isnt that just called RESPONSIBILITY???

ie: house fire? -> ok. insurance.

medical? -> insurance.

death? (that isnt mine) -> stable income

(note #1: this is about the point in my writing of this post where i dont even have the motivation to finish it bc i just wanna sit down and cry... but i might as well)

so OKAY, guess what? i did something about all those possibilities, so my anxiety should be relieved, right? fear gone! all okay now!

WRONG!

all that structure ive created bc its the "rEsPoNsiBLe" way to live, is a slow painful depressing death of my mental health at the hands of my job

yes, id rather gain an inch than lose a mile, small sufferings over large,

but oh my god is that all life is? small sufferings???

if i keep only suffering one inch at a time im going to end up killing myself and i dont quite think anyone truly GETS that except my therapist

this isnt like high school where i knew jack shit about mental health, i know what help is out there, whether or not it works is a totally different story

(note #2: i have looked at my options, ive read the rules, and id actually rather take my metaphorical little plastic car you get at the start of The Game of LIFE boardgame and throw it out a fucking window)

im past the point of easy help and unfortunately the conclusion i keep coming back to is a quote from a fic i wrote last year...

whatever THIS life is, regardless of how much i worked my ASS off for it, i dont want it anymore

(note #3: i dont even think id be in this spot if i didnt have shit luck)

i am equally fucked by either...

1) being responsible, financially safe, insured, but sad af at my job and actively praying something kills me in my sleep

OR

2) quitting my job with no plan and being scared that fate is gonna fuck me over for the upteenth time and this time i wont be able to bounce back or (lets be real) even have a want to (but thats a discussion for another time)

this is no way to fucking live, yet here i am

why am i scared of everything? well, yes i know WHY (bc from personal experience i know what can go wrong)

why am i scared of everything? because you cant be scared of something if you dont know it exists BUT in order to be prepared and responsible it means you have to acknowledge that YES IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU

so how the hell am i supposed to be responsible when i hate what comes with it???

"hey alex, what do you wanna be when you grow up? (1) sad or (2) scared?"

actually neither, id rather simply not exist

why am i scared of everything? because how else am i supposed to act?

why am i scared of everything? because actually, there is no answer to this... there is no reason... its just another shit thing in life that iunno how to deal with

why am i scared of everything? because the universe said so and so thats how it is

and i fucking hate it

.

...ok thats all im gonna go make a quesadilla now

[kaananom]

so i feel very compelled to list out my favorites mangas which changed my entire worldview and shook me to my core. Here they are.

Lullaby of the dawn

This manga EASILY tops anything ive ever read. Im predominantly a romance reader so while going into this i assumed this was going to be a romance focused story but OH WAS I WRONG. While it does have impeccable romance, it has a well thought and an AMAZINGLY intriguing plot. It goes into the characters inner turmoils and it highlights many ideas that just makes you rethink EVERYTHING about society as a whole. The thing i loved most about this was that, the way it written made it feel like two PEOPLE, two distinct humans fell in love rather than two MEN who fell in love ykwim? Theyre not a couple just for the sake of the story being romance, theyre together because they truly connected with eachother and i think thats beautiful

2) love in the palm of his hands

First of all, THE TITLE???? ITS SO CREATIVE?? This manga follows the love story of a deaf person and a person who has a deep desire to communicate and connect with people. An absolutely bombtastic pairing. The way this manga delivers its emotions and experiences of its characters is genuinely MINDBOGGLING. As a hearing person i always love reading stories that represent the deaf/hard of hearing community as its something im not really familiar with, so stories like these give me a perspective on their day to day life and it makes me understand different kinds of people a little better. I love love this manga for beautifully encapsulating all that it does

3) Basara

Very very classic shoujo manga and youve probably heard all about it lol. NGL, i have some gripes with specific parts of it but the overall message of this manga really stuck to me. The characters fail over and over again and they get back up, but its no EASY process. Often id see stories gloss over how hard it is to get back up by throwing in excessive optimism but basara does not do that. Its ugly and its a painful process and theyre just so so human. The characters dont grow linearly, its a gradual growth with many many lows in the middle and i loveee that

4) Color•Collection

I LOVE SERIZAWA TOMO AND ALL THEIR WORKS but this one stood out to me a whole lot. Mainly because it offered a perspective of the formal part of the creative world (basically art school and compretitive arts), a world im very foreign to. For a manga with literally only 7 chapters, the impact it had on me is so crazy. I loved the characters, the way they were portrayed, the way they bonded, their thoughts, gestures, the way love was portrayed, the art itself, i adored everything about it basically.

5) A brief moment of ichika

This one just broke my heart honestly LMAOO and i was so occupied with sadness and existential doom that i kinda forgot what intricate things i love about it WAHAHA i just remember how i felt through out the story 😭 what i will say tho, it really does make you question all you know about life and death. The philosophy tag in this rightfully claims its place.

[soudakuwunmoment]

expressing my take on dream is how i finally get cancelled but tbh im ready.

so i just watched the moistcritical video on whatever bullshit happened on twitter regarding him.

i wanna establish that im not exactly a dream fan. i dont watch videos of his or really anyone from that part of youtube. i dont think hes that great of a person necessarily.

also, i want to establish that i am an idiot 18yo boy. ight? im not some kind of expert on this shit. its literally just my take. its an opinion. and im putting it on the internet. as people tend to do.

okay. recap. dream allegedly sent snapchat videos of him moaning to a minor. there is zero proof that the video was from him, and zero proof that it was sent to a minor. then the fight between dream and gumballva. oh my god. guys. god i cant even with this bit. alright alright ill get to it

im gonna completely fuckin disregard the snapchat thing. theres absolutely no proof. innocent until proven guilty, as it goes.

about the fight between dream and gbva. holy shit stop taking sides. both of these men are immature man babies whos fame got to their head. "it was a physical fight!!!!!!" believe it or not, drunk slapfights happen sometimes. just because the fight was between two famous guys doesnt make it any more important or significant.

gbva was referring to himself as Michelangelo. he was saying how dream is "miniscule compared to him" like the worlds most pathetic dick measuring competition. he mentioned his "intellectual stature" guys. my friend told me about how the gumball va TOTALLY BURNED DREAM and DESTROYED HIM so i had high expectations. but no. the guys just stroking his own ego and shittalking some other guy, and people are hype about it because the other guy is dream and OOOOOOO DREAM BAD GUYS.... and because gumball is pretty well loved as a show. he called dream a slur. like on one hand, it is INSANE to me that a famous guy called someone a slur and twitter cheered. on the other hand its actually not that big a deal. yes, slurs and homophobia are a big deal. but let me reiterate that this is literally just two drunk dudes trying to roast each other and failing miserably. a slur isnt going to end the world. like it isnt cool that he said it, he shouldnt have said it, but honestly what the fuck ever. people are being killed in mass rn and this is what we're arguing about and im part of the problem so WAHOO.

and then theres the fact that dream recorded it. guys its not that fucking weird. im sorry to burst your bubble but recording arguments or recording when someone is aggressive towards you isnt abnormal. was it a little bit dramatic and incredibly childish to post it on twitter? yeah!!! duh!!! this is dream we're talking about. dramatic. childish. but the thing is, and hear me out, hes allowed to do that. insane as it may be, humans are allowed to be dramatic and childish. humans are allowed to brag about their "intellectual stature" in a cab after a night out. humans are allowed to be flawed. no, i dont think he was recording it due to feeling unsafe. i do in fact believe he was recording it to start drama. i believe whole heartedly that dream recorded the argument hoping his teenaged fanbase would run to his rescue. and you know what? who gives a shit!! are you actually surprised? are you REALLY? because dream very obviously has something wrong in his head. im not saying that the shit he does is okay because of it. but i want everyone reading this right now to imagine how you would realistically cope if you suddenly became famous during the fucking plague at the ripe ass age of 21 in the span of a month and then spent the next 3 years being either worshipped by children in mass or brutally harassed by literally the entire world. because believe it or not, 21 year olds are immature and are not normally equipped to deal with a situation like that. its entirely possible that dream already had issues, and its also entirely possible that he FORMED issues in the past 3 years due to the intense stress of his situation. dream is fucked up. dream has issues.

but listen to me. as far as we know, dream is not a pedophile or a murderer or a racist or a homophobe or any of that shit. sure, hes awful at babysitting each and every one of his bajillion preteen fans, but thats kinda not his fucking responsibility??? if a kid is going around doing awful shit in the name of some guy, blame the kids parents. its their job to teach their kid how to act online and around other people. and sure, dream is very very likely a narcissist and seems to be incapable of criticism and needs attention constantly or else he keels over like a scared gerbil and dies. hes kind of a shitty fuckin guy!! BUT GUESS. WHAT. so is like 70% of the population!!!! most of us are fucking awful!!

i know i cant change shit, i know id get bodied by even a single dream anti. i just wish people would stop giving him attention, leave him the fuck alone, and let him get therapy or spend a year in the woods or smoke some fucking weed idk.

seeing the reaction people have to literally just some schmuck makes me TERRIFIED of putting myself out there. can we all just accept that everyone is flawed and sometimes good people have shitty takes or do shitty things. if you had the same exposure to the world that dream did, how quickly would YOU get cancelled? im just. im fucking begging you to look at this guy (and other equally underwhelming schmucks) with a critical mind and context to why you may see them the way you do.

im not tagging this shit i dont hate myself that much. i dont mind if no one reads this i just wanna rant. just leave the guy be.

[knightzp]

izuleo and uhh. xingyun for the ask game (I think you like xingyun right?? I was and still kind of am obsessed with them)

izuleo:

what made you ship it? tbh i remember watching the enstars anime and not really understanding at first why everyone was shipping izuleo (bc the anime shows absolutely nothing abt them) and then i read checkmate and lionheart and i was like. Oh. now i get it now i understand everything. izuleo oughgg

what are your favorite things abt the ship? just. all their story. theyve been through so much together, both good and bad moments. how they started as best friends and understood each other like no one else at the beginning and then how it all went wrong after checkmate and they hurt each other a lot during the war but after months of being separated they reunited and started slowly healing from their wounds to the point theyre now living together in florence. the whole evolution of their relationship is just. So good

is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? actually im gonna say the same as you tia bc its so true i really think it too. their relationship is a lot of things but i dont think it is extrictly romantic i cant imagine them like a regular romantic couple at all but also its not entirely platonic either bc they love and care abt each other so much and in a lot of unique ways. theyre def a secret third thing and i believe not even them know how to describe it

xingyun (and YES YES YESSS I LOVE XINGYUN SO MUCH theyre my fave genshin ship and one of my fave ships ever in general too my absolute beloveds <333):

what made you ship it? oh god its been so long i dont think i remember the actual moment.... like i knew abt the ship way before i got to know their characters in the game and i Had the feeling i was going to love them. and then i played their quests/hangouts and started to slowly get to know them until i was like. yep i do love them. i knew it <3

what are your favorite things abt the ship? oh boy *inhales air*. theyre best AND childhood friends with water/ice powers which is the best combination ever both combat wise and aesthetically one is pining a lot and making every possible excuse to spend time together with the other (like remember that moment when xingqiu asked chongyun to go to that haunted place BC IT WAS A LOCATION ONLY VISITED BY COUPLES HE CLEARLY WANTED A DATE) and the other is so oblivious that wouldnt take a hint ever (and so asked the traveler to go with him instead.... sorry xingqiu) but also most of the times one appears onscreen the other is very likely with him bc theyre clearly so attached to each other. xingqiu pulling pranks on poor chongyun and teasing him so much but also 'dear chongyun'. and chongyun may get a bit mad at first but would never hate xingqiu for anything he does bc he just cherishes so much. THEIR MATCHING TASSELS. THAT BDAY LETTER FROM CHONGYUN THAT WAS CLEARLY FOR XINGQIU AND NOT THE TRAVELER. THE YOUNG AND HOPELESSLY SMITTEN THING they just have one of my fave dynamics ever and there is So much evidence in canon content abt their feelings for each other and hngngngngngn im so obsessed i love them so much 🩵💙

is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? mmmm not really? idk if this is really unpopular but if i have to say something. theyre So ace. to me. both of them but especially chongyun. ace xingyun is real and canon to me <33

[reggies-eyeliner]

it really is a blessing yk? ah no worries! LETS DO IT! 3 2 HAPPY NEW YEAR!! (hugs) Ah it really depends yk on how everything works out. life is mysterious. MAAM PLEASE GIVE ME SOMETHING TO TEXT YOU ON haha. you're right you're right that's the right mindset THAT UNFORTUNATELY DOES NOT GET ME READS AHHHHH. I'm glad it was good ! omg what was your favorite thing you ate? do you have dishes that you only eat on special days?

oh no! seasonal depression is no fun. i saw the post you reblogged about friends leaving and I was like :( oh no! ellie is going through it. but hey, yes the grieving has to happen but there are people who are still here and guess what? you haven't met everyone who will love you! (I get that feeling whenever I read old messages between friends that we just drifted apart from each other and i smile sadly and wish them well... obvi puts me in a sad mood for the rest of the day but such is life, I've realized. and maybe there was a reason it needed to happen? like yeah we probably vibed the entire time but maybe they were just a that season friend or that place friend that was needed to help you out yk? that's how I've been trying to see it because God knows the number of friends I've lost that i vibed with but just ghosted me or who were so dry that i had to keep asking qs to hold the convo and it was so draining) MAAM THAT GOES TO YOU TOO!! IF YOU NEED TO TALK, IM HERE!

that's good that you love your classes tho! it would be so hard if you didn't (especially with the workload you mentioned). and OMG SATs?? AHHHHH THE STRESS! but hey by this time next year, no more worries about those exams. do you have ideas of where you want to apply and stuff? What's your favorite class you're taking? are you still doing theatre?

ugh dont even get me started. like dont get me wrong- I'm so blessed to get an education but the stuff that has happened to me has made me question if this education and loss of sanity is worth it. i swear its just... how do I put this? professors literally publically humiliate me by saying the absolute worst things to me about me in front of everyone and omg! i always thought it would be fellow classmates who would backstab you (like be nice to you but talk ill behind your back) BUT GUESS WHAT ELLIE? HAHA ITS NOT JUST THE STUDENTS!!! Its also the lovely PROFESSORS!!! I LOVE THAT THANK YOU!! haha but dw about me! i guess this is prepping me for corporate life? haha. but I'm currently being strategic because they're in positions of power and they decide if I graduate or not. but after this, I will choose my peace and sanity.

3 2 1 HAPPY NEW YEAR ‼️‼️omg do you have any resolutions this year or is it just get through the year because sometimes that's what we gotta do BWJHSA AND AHHH ILL AEND YOU MY DISCORD WHEN I HAVE THE TIME does that work?? AND AHH. OKAY BUT DON'T PRESSURE YOURSELF TO WRITE ON AO3 YOU CAN just write something for fun and post it if you feel like it ykyk AND I FORGOT WHAT I ATE NGL but I had really nice dumplings those are my fave 😭 AND WE HAD LIKE TTEOK GUK idk what it is in English but it is very banger 10/10

AND IT IS OKAY my seasonal depression isn't too bad DWDW TEEHEE AHH AND AHSHDHUE THANK YOUUU FOR YOUR WORDS ABOUT SCHOOL I RLY APPRECIATE IT😭💓 and omg the PROFESSORS. WHAT. I HATE THEM IF YOU DO TOO BECAUSE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM?? THEY'RE TEACHERS TEACHING STUDENTS IDK WHY THEY'RE MEAN TO STUDENTS IF STUDENTS ARE THE REASON WHY THEY DO THEIR JOBS?? AND IM NOT sure about what schools I want to apply for yet but my favorite class I'm currently taking is AP Bio!! the work load is crazy but I love learning about it RAHHH and girl sry I can't get over it but the professors man :((( I hope they will figure out that treating people kindly is an expectation and the bare minimum!!!!!! YOU CAN GET THROUGH THIS AND YOU WILL YOU GOT THIS U INDEPENDENT AMAZING WRITER WOMAN ILY CERY MUCH!!

[slowdripsunrise]

ok here we go again spoilers under the cut

starting off with a banger i read The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. holy shit it was awesome. audiobook 10/10 narrator did a phenomenal job. there were some characters that confused me, where there were a couple names for the same person and i thought they were different people, and the opposite maybe im still not quite sure.... mainly with the queen of yscalin i believe? again not 100% sure but it didn't take away from the story at all. i did really like most if not all of the characters, they were all well fleshed out in my opinion. super interested in the prequel, my favorite thing ever ever ever in stories is like. well theres the story but what happened before years ago or even centuries ago is still there. she's haunting the narrative. she's present in every timeline there was no other ending to this story etc. etc. loved it excited to get my hands on the other one and maybe also try some of shannons other books? i heard about another series but it looked a lil confusing to get into but either way i will read it. trust

after that i read Yellowface by R. F. Kuang ! not my favorite of hers bc i am more of a fantasy/sci fi/historical fiction girlie rather than lit fic but there were parts of this that did make me laugh ! its been a while but i do remember the part where the mc talks about liking eminem or something in the beginning and thinking ok yeah she's got the character down good. like yeah. anyways i do see how it's a bit on the nose and some of it seems a little out there and cartoonishly evil. and i can definitely see how a lot of the characters mirror real life people, mainly athena/rebecca. and how a lot of the criticisms towards athena are criticisms r.f. kuang has gotten/gets in the past and does she kinda just write them off as haterisms. yeah. like thats a little funny sure queen. and while yes i dooooo think that its a bit over the top some times..... having seen all of the asian phishing and race faking and pretending to be someone ur not on twitter to get published irl these past few MOnths. like in 2024 ONLY. i do think Sometimes the obviousness is necessary !. like some of you bitches did NAWT get the message. anyways the book was pretty good not my personal favorite as its just not the type of story i typically read but i will continue to read Kuang's work ! it was fun it was silly i got to laugh at a racist white woman.... and i do think it was nice how a tiny little bit of sympathy would come up for the mc in the book and then just immediately be squandered by the next stupid thing she did like it was funny. like damn okay you watched a sorta friend acquaintance die thats traumatic. oh well you stole her entire manuscript okay nevermind. oh something bad happened to you in the past that sucks for you /gen sorry. oh okay no ur using it to fuel ur racist ideas and beliefs and how nothing is actually ur fault okay man yeah i dont feel bad anymore. like it was just kinda funny how every little chance she got to do better she absolutely squashed it. astronomically. and okay last thing i think but i do like in the acknowledgements Kuang said that a lot of this book is a horror story about loneliness in an isolating industry. and thats not a direct quote but i think its the jist and yeah like. so many problems the mc had could have been solved by having real friends that cared about her and her writing and supported her when she needed it, so she didn't go and blame every other person (and minority) in her vicinity on her problems. and people to hold her accountable when she did wrong. all of the people around her were basically just yes men (when she was making them money) and so nobody checked her when she was being a fucking idiot and a racist. so like. yeah i do see how it's a horror story about loneliness, and i like that outlook on the story. it is also primarily a silly ass look into a racist white woman's brain. like okay i can see how you got to this conclusion, if everything else you have ever thought and known and been taught was wrong. like its yeah a little funny. okay i need to stop on this one i am just saying words at this point like it does need to stop. recommend as a quick read if you wanna see how a lot of racist people in the publishing industry operate. (side note that part was interesting reading about the publishing industry like taking away the racism from the mc it was interesting to see the other characters and how they operate) okay done.

NEXT i read Ghost Music by An Yu. interesting, the mushrooms were throwing me a bit and like. i do see how there is a connection between the mushrooms and the mother and her hometown and her son but its been a bit long since i read this so i do not know what the connection is yet. and what exactly this connection is trying to say. i think if i reread it i would understand more but i'm not much of a rereader and i don't think im interested enough in this book to try. dont get me wrong it was good !! i just wasn't in the correct headspace to really take it all in when i read it. the story was fun, i liked most of the characters. tbh it is very short so i feel like i didn't sit with it long enough. i also dont understand the talking mushroom. but like the vibes were there.

ALMOST THERE !!!!! i read ough okay A Tempest of Tea by Hafsah Faizal ! so. i liked it thats for sure. the characters were fun and cute i particularly liked the relationship between Jin and Flick...... they were cute. i do think as i've grown out of YA and into adult books, my standards for YA have gotten lower and lower lol. like i have high standards for my adult novels because thats what i primarily read now, but going into YA i'm looking for maybe a more specific type of vibe and less like. i don't need the highest quality ever bc i have high quality in adult books now. if you get what i mean? so like no i don't think this was Faizal's best work we hunt the flame you will always be that girl to me. BUT. i read this for the vibes and the tea and the heist and not much else. my expectations were low -that the other thing i think a lot of people came into this book with super high expectations- and i had a really good time ! i am definitely interested in the sequel- i think a lot actually maybe not a lot but some of the moments in the book were specifically written to idk maybe go viral ? like some of the dialogue and scenes i could just tell some editor or publisher really wanted to highlight it. did i see a lot of the plot twists coming. yeah. did that make it less interesting....... not really? Could it have been better. yes absolutely i think theres always room for improvement especially in YA when a lot of things are more cookie cutter. BUT. this was still fun. and i liked how the worlds are connected, arawiya is present ! although. okay. am i stupid because Laith was making references to shit i feel like i should remember but i don't.... like yes arawiya was freed by the king yes i know vaguely.... but yeah. idk. I WILL READ THE SECOND ONE !!!!!! love how this post is just me trying to remind myself to read more books lol.

NEXT i read The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow. fun book ! not much to say about it tbh i did like the vibes, don't remember the ending at all so overall i don't think this one like. really made me think or emote or whatever. i do think that the dual kinda. stories were cool i liked reading both, which is rare for me usually theres one that i like a lot more than the other. the world was cool. i had fun. i would recommend as a shorter little fantasy book....

Tread of Angels by Rebecca Roanhorse... meh. I kinda went into this knowing absolutely nothing I SEE THE VISION. god i see the vision so hard but i really think Roanhorse shines when she has a larger page number and more room to really flesh out her ideas. like because the vibe was there, it wasn't like. Present but i could get just a little taste of it and god it would have gone so hard as a fully fledged story i feel like. this one, tho, fell way flat. i did NAWT care about any of the characters at all. like the mc and her sister. were just both not great people and like neither were the rest of them and i think that was the point but like even when characters are bad you kinda wanna have to root for them at some point. and i just did not at all. Sad !. well theres other stories.

okay. last one. i finally did it after so many people raving about it and one of my friends basically forcing it on me. i read The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemison. and well like i get it. LIKE OKAYYYY I FUCKING GET IT THIS BOOK WAS AWESOME. apparently the author is on tumblr and does look for fanart so like if u see this hai :3. really really fucking good. it took me one or two tries to get into it, first with just the book, second with just the audiobook, and once i had time to sit down and read them together it was like. just flew by. i tried to pace myself but hooo boy. did i see it coming how all the characters were actually one character yes. because well i had heard how everything was connected before and well the dots came together pretty quickly. did not take away from the story at all though! if anything it made me want to read more to see when and how it all came together !! 1000000000% recommend to anyone who likes fantasy (look up trigger warnings!). the characters OUGH. the worldbuilding OUGH. that last line like OUGH. the little interludes like explaining some stuff about the world OUGH. like okay when it was talking about how yknow. how will people know whats missing when they've never had it before? like they have the stars the planets the sun and i was like well Moon? any Moons queen? and then forgot about it until the very end like OKAY YEAH THE MOON. having a moon well it does control tides and things like that. so it being missing could have a large affect on the seasons. and well yeah. also. dude the whole premise of like having to go on what u think is a stupid ass assignment with some guy you don't like but are contractually obligated to have sex with. well its fucked up first of all. but also just a little bit funny like. the mc will just be describing her day and then just "yeah and when we set up camp for the night me and this stupid ass man i hate had sex it was really bad and then we went to bed" its just a little funny like man. yeah. the polyamory was cute !!!!!!! those little moments of bliss and then it switches to a different pov and ur like god how did it go so wrong. damn. okay last thing because well this is getting long. but god there was a post i think i reblogged it but comparing two passages, one of Alabaster saying he would destroy the world for his little family, and the other from the very beginning of the story where he breaks the world and that just. is so. OUGH TO ME LIKE FAWWWWK this book is kindof making me insane and also to that point of the part in the beginning where Alabaster is breaking The Stillness well that part in the audiobook. god the narrator did such a good job that will stick in my mind forever i think. just they way they said it OUGH. fucked me up. anyways thats all if u read all this good job happy reading.

[the-blaze-empress]

Gona put a Spoiler alert on this one for “Take My Arms That I Might Reach You”.

Hey so I’m back (the person who asked about the time measurement in “Take My Arms”) to say I absolutely loved the rest of the fic. I really enjoyed the character development both Techno and Phil went through throughout the fic and getting to see the way they both end up together terrorizing the bigots of the desert was wonderful. Was sobbing at the part where Phil died had me fighting back tears cause I was absolutely reading this at work. Just the visual you painted in my head of Techno putting Phil’s body in the bedroll was the breaking point. I was like 90% Phil was gona come back, but still it got to me. The world building you did in the Ebony plane was incredible! I love a good info dump and Kristin’s explanation of the magic and spirits tied everything together so well. And oooooo the Quackity/Techno flashbacks. Man Techno really did a number on him! But I like that they still became tentative friends after all was said and done. You asked what my thoughts were on Chapter 18 and I’ll be honest, I’m a bit confused on that but cause there’s a chapter 18 and then one labeled eighteenth, so I’m gona roll em together. I pretty much knew early on in the fic that Techno was also had wings. It was pretty obvious (at least to me) with the fact that he had a voice talking to him since Phil had the same thing, even if he ignores it. Still, the reveal was fantastic! And the way Techno used his own curse to get on Phil’s level and try to calm him down and let him know he was okay, he wasn’t going to hate him was so sweet. Ah! I could go on and on about all the little details I loved about the fic, but those are the major things I loved about it. Sorry it took so long to get back to this, life went and lived and my brain has been a bit fried lately so it been hard to put thoughts into words. But you’re a wonderful writer and I will definitely be coming back to reread this fic again in the future, as well as keeping an eye on your other fics (see you have a new one out, haven’t gotten to it yet again because life). Thank you so much for sharing your work!

AAAA THANK YOU!!

im soooo glad u loved the fic!! character development my beloved, that was one of my big things i wanted to achieve with this fic, having a distinct but still believable development of the characters, and to show how that development happened even when it wasnt going quite so great. patpat i am hugging u but also hell yeah i rlly wanted that moment to have a big emotional impact esp since it was planned from like. the very start lol.

im glad u didnt think my infodumping was too out of place! truth be told the worldbuilding developed a LOT as i was writing the fic, and some things never got the chance to get properly established rip.

backstory hell yeah! i wanted to show what techno was like when he was young and more in phils shoes and i also wanted to elaborate on quackitys cardistry, AND i wanted to show that the superstitions around the carrion cursed arent entirely unfounded. managed to roll that all into one chapter lolll.

oof yeah prolly shouldve clarified. by chapter 18 i mean the chapter titled eighteenth, the ao3 automatic chapter numbers are wrong bc the first 'chapter' is a prologue lol. and niceee ur one of few who actually made that connection, youd be surprised at how many people genuinely failed to see that chat was no different to kristin it was so funny.

PLEASE DO GO ON ABOUT THE LITTLE DETAILS!!! OH I WOULD LOVE YOU SO MUCH IF YOU DID!! (not to say i dont love u anyways that is) little details are my favourite things literally ever i know i wrote the fic but pleasee go on about the little things you noticed!!

thank you soso much for this, genuinely <333 you dont need to apologise for taking ages to read shit, god knows life can Be Like That. cant wait to hear what u think of my future and maybe even past stuff!!

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

actually hang on lets spend the rest of the night imagining the specials with yaz still there. marrying the old with the new or the.....oldnew with the newold idk but yaz deserves her hand held and her arm pulled out of its socket in enthusiasm (she even refrains from taking 13s hand when shes actively dying!!!!) and i want to see her see 14s openness and have them literally look at each other in startlement like what the Fuck

i want her there meeting donna and rose, Watching. i want her there in the cab while the doctor catches up. i want her asking questions about donna while they sneak into the.......place where the alien spaceship is and i want the doctor to respond to those questions easily with basically what he tells shirley later. i want to see what "Because I've got this friend called Donna Noble, and she was my best friend in the whole wide universe. I absolutely love her. Oh. Mmm. Do I say things like that now?" turns into when it has to be said to yazs face.

i want her there in the tunnels of unit meeting shirley. the two of them doing the lay of the land conversation in quiet voices like theyve done this a thousand times before. the doctor going "double-bladed dagger drive, damaged by laser fire, which means-" and yaz finishing "two alien species at war with each other? feel like ive heard that one before" - "i was wrong then though, wasnt i?" - "and now?" - "lets hope not" before shirley interrupts "doctor" "and this is yaz" "nice to meet you" "did you get the heat readings and deceleration?" "ive got everything. shirley ann bingham. unit scientific advisor 56" "i was scientific advisor number 1" "you were?" "he was. im gonna get a bonus just for meeting him. but why are you hiding away? we're on the same side" "hmnggweelllyeahh we were just upstairs yesterday slash last year dalek....cybermen....master.....situation, you remember. new faces, old faces, bit awkward, you know how it goes" "hang on, last year?" "oh yeah, we skipped ahead a bit" "doctor!" "just give me your phone later we'll backdate a couple of texts. nobody needs to know" "youre impossible" "you were supposed to go home" shirley like: 👀 but then that soldier comes to interrupt them and they bounce

i want her there in all the scenes in donnas house feeling sooo out of place and trying to understand how she feels like the doctor just died but also,,,,not? but every time she thinks shes about to lose it the doctor pulls her into the conversation with a "yaz :)" thats just Too familiar counting on her skills and her knowledge bc she literally just saved the world and the doctor's life, and saying little things that the rest of the company wont understand just to make her feel like,,,,,,"im still here im still me" like a lowkey version of 11&12 to clara in deep breath.

i want her to pipe up "but you all assumed about the doctor?" when rose points out about the meeps pronouns and everyone look at her like Hang On Who Are You Again? and the doctor quickly move the conversation along to Meep Things before anyone starts asking Questions and i want yaz to shoot him a look that he Pointedly Ignores.

i want them to be all halloween apocalypse team dynamic as they get the family out of the house when all the soldiers come and the doctor surprisedly going "this is a lot easier with two" and yaz being like "took you long enough"

she'd stay with the family to get them to safety, maybe because the doctor orders her to but i dont think she'd listen so i think she'd take the initiative. that way you can still have the big climactic scenes with 14 and donna alone.

i want her to burst out laughing in the end after donna and rose "let it go", taking centre stage for the first time in the whole episode to go "hang on. hang on. tHE DOCTOR?!??!?! the doctor????? she'd have understood???" near hysterical because this day - in true doctor fashion - has lasted an entire year. i want everyone to be stopped dead in their tracks, the doctor as well as anyone else, startled and taken aback and realising we still dont actually know who she is? like shirley does, but none of the others. a friend of the doctor, sure, presumably, but we dont know where she came from, we dont know how long shes been here, just sort of in the background, watching, Being There so reliably that the doctor seems to count on her presence almost like the sonic or the tardis or that net that appears when you jump.

so she introduces herself to them briefly like "sorry. yasmin khan, and..." - looks at the doctor "...not actually entirely sure of the rest, right now". and the doctor looks at her like Not The Dirty Laundry Please I Put On This Whole New Outfit So Nobody Would See The Dirty Laundry. and yaz, loyal and devoted and one lie in two mouths when it comes to the doctor, narrows her eyes like fine. and the doctor turns to their Audience all smiles and is like "yaz! my best friend" "number 56?" she mutters "thereabouts?" he whispers back and they share a look that says we'll talk about The Rest later.

then we can finish the episode almost as it went. get a new look at the new tardis with two doctors at once. the doctor running around the console room while yaz gets her hands on the new console Immediately to figure out the new controls. she'd watch donna and the doctor together, figuring them out too, figuring out the new doctor too. and simultaenously her old doctor retroactively too. thinking about the doctor in her living room as donna talks about dinners and school plays. putting that away to pull him aside later to ask if he......would like that, actually. dinner. "i never got to taste that pakora" he says. "didnt miss much," she says. he gives her a look that maybe he thinks it was, and with that basically gives her an answer to the question she asked.

now wild blue yonder is gonna be more complicated. i think you'd need her to stay in the tardis. you know, lock the doors, have the doctor yell at her a bit through them, give her some instructions for repair perhaps. and then the doctor and donna can go take a stroll while yaz takes care of that. then wild blue yonder can go almost exactly as it goes. and the giggle i think would be very interesting with yaz added in. room enough for a couple of fun conversations. lots of potential with yaz+other companions

"i think i need to do the next part alone" no you dont!!!!!!! you dont!!!!!!!!!

[ziaron]

woah hi ok UMMMMMMFHSKXNXKSB (this is my first request so excuse how bad i’ll be at explaining this to you)

ive always had this idea about someone a person is dating ending up being a yandere, like they really wanna protect you to the point they kidnap you and treat you like a goddess like that and just hurts everyone that interferes? or if they see someone that’s getting closer than they’d like or they’re jealous they’d just break their leg and go “oh! they fell down the stairs yesterday :(.. i helped them, it was so sad!”

also what if they’re like kinda scary but try to be nicer around you because to them you’re like an absolute angel or goddess

I MEAN YOU SAID YOU WANT A REASON TO WRITE SO I GAVE YA ONE

also idk if u do the anon thing where they have a name i completely forgot but if u do i really like oranges so 🤭🤭 maybe i could be orange anon… OKAY THATS JUST ME BEING AN IDIOT LMFAO

Loved orange anon xDD --- 🍊🍊🍊

I'm going to write more, i just am a bit burnt at the moment

Ok but in all seriousness im willing to regress into my feral writer form to satiate your needs ♡♡♡ (P.s. Lyo is read like Leo)

cw: Yandere behavior, manipulation, physical assult (Not towards reader), threats, idolization, stalking

'No relationship is perfect- no one is perfect.' you keep repeating to yourself.

What kills you is, for the most part, he is perfect. You've truly never felt this amount of love, tenderness or care in your entire life. So what if his eyes widen just at the sight of you enter a room- like he was meeting a deity of some kind. Isn't it wrong to ask less of him? Of a man so utterly devoted to you?

"What are you thinking about, angel?" Lyo's concerned eyes stare daggers into yours, waiting patiently for your reply.

"What am I-? Oh... nothing." After you speak there's nothing but silence for a minute or two

"It's just that-... Well... I know something is wrong so- can you just tell me so I can fix it?" He leans in as you quickly pull away, last time you let him 'fix' an issue between you and someone else your friend of two years sustained some pretty nasty bruises, bruises way too specifically placed to have been caused by a tumble in the dirt.

You let it slide then- 'just once' you thought. Since your so called friend had turned into a real jackass after having a few too many, and refused to take no for an answer. You didn't even bother to start a fight even when you knew Lyo was lying to your face about just walking him home, the quick glimpse of fresh scratches on his knuckles where all the proof you needed at the time.

But then there was that 'accident' on the staircase, the scared glances that surround him, the constant hovering, and the multiple monologs about how deeply he loves you, how he will always protect you; how you were like a divine being, taking pity on the likes of him-.

'He doesn't mean to- he doesn't know he's wearing me down... He doesn't mean to.'

"Please- just let me handle it myself. I'll be alright." you give him a reassuring glance before an abrupt

SLAM

As his hand meets the table. Instantly, you look at him with a mixture of shock, confusion and fear.

"I'm sorry! I'm so-so sorry! I didn't mean to! I just-!" Lyo's posture shrinks- like he's trying to make himself look as non-threatening as possible after seeing the look on your face.

You'd never seen him like that before. He was always incredibly calm with you-

"-please dont be mad at me, angel!" He reaches to cup your face in his hands "I just want to protect you... that's all...... GODDAMN IT! This is all his fault! YOU KNOW THAT?!"

Your mouth is still agape as you watch him unravel. 'Did he want to hit me?' 'Was he going to hit me?' were the only thoughts going through your head as you watched him pace.

Finally after a minute you blurt out

"I can't do this anymore. For a second there- I genuinely thought you might hurt me. I can't do this, I'm sorry, I need to leave."

He freezes.

"Don't." Lyo's voice came out as half threatening, half pleading. Like he was dreading what he would have to do next.

"I need you. Please- I just want to protect you! You know I would never hurt you! Ever! I just got a little frustrated! That's all! Don't be stupid, you know I'd never ever hurt you! I'D NEVER HURT YOU!?! WHY WOULD YOU EVEN THINK THAT?! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I-"

"Stop!", "I made my decision."

"So what? Mine doesn't matter then? What am i supposed to do without you? I have nothing without you. You aren't just the greatest thing in my life- you- you are my life!" Desperation clang to every word Lyo spoke, making your heart ache.

He could tell you were caving, as pools began to cloud your eyes you croak out a pitiful "ok..." before feeling his warm embrace.

Lyo gently pets your head, holding you tightly for a good few minutes while you cry. Knowing that just like a moth drawn to flame, He has you exactly where he wants you, no- needs you.

[aprofessionalwithoutstandards]

ik i pass as a Horny For Old Men kinda guy but my attraction to them isnt... entirely sexual. It barely is.

My attraction, part of it is my autism absolutely adoring my blorbos, part of it is attraction to their characters and personalities, but the largest part of it is gender envy.

there's a very very thin line between I want to fuck him and I want to Be Him for me.

Also, with sex, and consuming pornography, I dont... imagine myself being fucked/fucking. I am detached from it. I imagine the feelings and emotions and shit, dont get me wrong. But I imagine it as though I am the character themselves experiencing it, not me. I simply like when people show off mutual pleasure and want and lust and desire and blasphemy, and, this is really sad, I can not, for the life of me, imagine a scenario where I am having that mutual reciprocated pleasure with someone.

So I really like my blorbos when sex. Because the tf2 men are so. so incredibly goofy and ridiculous and unconventionally shaped and insane and its like.. ok yeah, I can vibe with this. It isn't like, y/n type shit. It's literally sweaty middle aged men fucking in the most unconventional places. It's awesome.

Also I love love love when author's do queer shit. Like, queer history shit. And queer sex. I read a fic where, in his backstory, Medic studied at the Institute of Sexology in Germany before Nazi Germany, before the book burnings, and Medic secretely preformed the first top surgery ever, in history, on his close friend. And Medic was one of the contributing authors to HRT and trans studies, and even though so many of the books were burned (this actually happened btw, its estimated that we still arent up to the same point knowledge wise as we would be if those academic trans books hadnt been burned.), Medic knew the ins and outs of it all well enough to make his own fucking drug lab and create testosterone for Scout tf2. To help him transition. And I was like. That's awesome.

Or, or like, this one fic. Where scout is like oh god im gay??? And spy is like "lol you are gay. Anyways here's a book I wrote about being gay and all the shit that I've learned and my shenanigans with sex and anatomy and gays and lesbians and gender. And my deceased lover who was killed for basically everything written in this book"

It's like... I feel this strange solidarity, reading it all. Because its.. We've all been there, we've all been in that confusing ass "this is so.. wrong" or like... the hunch you get, before you come out to anyone. The hunch that your parents wont accept you, regardless of what they've said about gay ppl in the past or how much they love you and how much they'll support you. There's always that little sliver of doubt, that, that this is the thing that gets you kicked out of the house, that gets you abused.

And its. It makes me feel so good when I read queer shit in the context of the tf2 universe.

anyways thats enough of my ramblings thumbsup

This is Extremely long but there are parts here that spoke to me so I am going to respond to this in parts:

I don't think it's that weird to visualize yourself as a particular person or character in sexual scenarios. In my experience this has a lot to do with being trans. A Lot of bdsm is playing roles or characters or etc, and I have actually found that that kind of thing can be very very alleviating if you have trouble being "yourself" in sexual situations you otherwise want to partake in. You should note that I do not in any way id as ace but some people with similar experiences do id somewhere on the asexual spectrum. That's really up to the individual, in my opinion

When you're trans and gay (of any variety), of course it's going to be difficult sometimes to distinguish attraction from gender envy. A lot of what society pushes as "gender-conforming" is the same as what it pushed as "attractive", so for a lot of trans people, presenting as the gender that they are can manifest as a desire to look attractive (not even necessarily "conventionally", just what they think is attractive). Tbh I don't really think this is like, a "problem" if it's just fictional characters; I probably wouldn't recommend dating an actual human being you constantly feel envious of, but like I would probably fuck Sniper tf2's mind out and obviously I do a lot of gender envy and projection and kinnie stuff onto him. I would also fuck my own clone though so I might be weird in this regard

Okay finally like the meat and potatoes of this ask: I ALSO love when people do gay shit w the tf2 men! For me, this manifests itself in stuff like the Medic leather ask I did a while ago, because I like kink and kink history and kink culture and that's what I know about and what I like to write about. It also helps people to see a positive representation of some aspect of themselves in these characters that they like, but, more importantly TO ME, I get to tell MORE people abt this kind of thing. This is the biggest platform I've ever had and I get to use these stupid video game men to like, teach people about shit! About gay shit! And I love that. I love you freaks who care abt stuff like this I love people doing gay shit and trans shit and kink shit with the tf2 men. It can be comforting it can be therapeutic it can genuinely cause a lot of positive change in someone's life, and most importantly it is FUN and it is HOT

[satoriberry]

I love the baker s/o it’s SO CUTE!! Could you please continue it with Akaashi, Oikawa, kei and osamu pleeaasssee🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

‣ Currently growing: What they'd be like if they had an S/O that's gifted in baking!

‣ Pairings: Akaashi Keiji + Oikawa Tooru + Tsukishima Kei + Miya Osamu × GN!Reader

‣ Watch out for: Me calling Oikawa the reader's whore, nothing more. Happy reading! (〃^∇^)ﾉ

‣ Berry's note: nah cuz YALL ATE THAT FIRST ONE UP??? HELP?? ok but im actually so happy shsksjd i just dont know how to react cause this is the first time something like this happens :]

Part one! ( ๑>ᴗ<๑ ) Part three! ( ๑>ᴗ<๑ )

• Akaashi Keiji:

- One word comes to his mind. Cute. Literally his first thought.

- He seriously thinks you with an apron, oven mitts, flour all over your hands and a messy kitchen surrounding you is the most adorable sight ever and no one has the right to disagree.

- He doesn't do much himself, he prefers to observe you do your magic. BUUTTT he will assist! ( `･ω･ ´)

- You want more flour? Measured and ready. You need more sugar? Getting it right away. Your hands are too busy and you can't reach that jar of jam? He's getting it for you.

- He doesn't say it but his favourite thing to do is to sit down on the floor and watch cakes rise. Only cakes though, bread is overrated (/j). Yes, you've walked in on him multiple times, ass on the floor and eyes glued to the oven (isnt it canon that he does weird stuff sometimes???)

- I like to think that Akaashi is a major book enthusiast (in highschool) so he likes to get you really cute dessert books! He gets so happy when you make him something using a recipe from that cookbook.

- Omg pack it in a lil box and give it to him, do it DO IT. he doesn't laugh a lot but he'll let out a really subtle giggle after you hand it to him. doesn't matter if it's a confectionary he likes or not, he doesn't want his sweetheart to feel awkward about gifting him something.

- Don't let him try baking, for his mental state, please don't. He'll overthink each step so easily that when something ACTUALLY goes wrong, he'll feel so guilty because he messed up something his lovely partner could do so easily and- yeah <3

- We all know he fiddles with his fingers a lot, and it's because of his nervousness right? And him being nervous means he has a lot of pent up anxiety throughout the day, right? Imagine him releasing all these negative emotions somehow....and by somehow I mean abusing some bread dough.

- LISTEN IT'S SO FUNNY?? If you're in the school's baking club, he'll walk up to you, hands neatly behind his back and he'll just say, "Hello Y/N-san, can I have some bread dough? <3". "B-bread dough?". "Yeah."

- 5 minutes later, he's kneading that bitch like his life depends on it. Smacking it against the counter top, punching it, borderline assaulting it. You're just standing there like, "Keiji, I love you, but what the fuck?" and he'll simply answer, "Life is so stressful. Advanced classes are turning diffcult, I lost my black pen this noon, Bokuto-san has been sulking the entire day, my mom said sh- Oh yes my love? <3"

- It's his therapy so DON'T FORGET TO HAVE SOME BREAD DOUGH READY!! Then you bake it and eat it with him (nom nom)

- He loves that you have such a nice hobby, he's like your little cheerleader.

• Oikawa Tooru:

- He's your whore.

- JKJK. However, he'll go coocoo crazy if he finds out that his S/O is at good at baking, he thinks baking is so complicated. Won't shut up about it for the rest of day, after that, he calms down.

- He's always asking you when's the next time you're making something, because if you aren't, he'll show you his pinterest board with cute animal shaped bread. It's almost as if he's been waiting to show it to someone...

- I feel like he can bake a few things only. Each is very specific: fruit cake (that absolutely disgusting, atrocious cake with dried fruits inside), lava cake, banana bread and pound cake. Anything other than these 4, he can't even imagine doing.

- If you're a part of the school cooking/baking club, he'll visit you everyday. Sits on the countertop (much to your dislike) and just watches you be in the zone. Will drop a few "Woahhhhh"'s and "WOWWWW"'s if you do something cool (just pull out a stand mixer and he'll be like "Technology!🤖✊🤘")

- If you ask him to join....he'll be so happy. Like, seriously. He'd think you're joking but when you hand him an apron and ask him to work with you, he'll feel so special, especially if you guide him and show him some techniques.

- If you work at a bakery or something, will try his best to visit you at every shift. Also pretends he doesn't know you and now your coworkers think this really hot guy is hitting on their junior baker 💔

- If you make him milkbread....makes out with you-

- Nahh, (ahaha unless???) but he WILL show you off (and the bread 🙄). Goes into the 3rd years group chat (convince me they dont have a group chat titled something like "we [dont] get bitches everyday 💪😈" LMFAIOAOAI) and sends a photo of him engulfing you in a hug with some bread in his mouth and hand. His friends were terrorized by him after that.

• Tsukishima Kei:

- Tsukishima doesn't like to make a big deal out of things, so I don't think he'll care THAT much.

- I feel like his owk teammates would be more invested in your baking skills than he is. Like, if the other 1st years see you making something in the club room, they'll gather around you and watch you like little kids (kageyama will lose his shit if you whip some egg whites, he thinks its some kind of sorcery)

- He doesn't really care until Nishinoya and Tanaka decide to spend the afternoon break watching you make some cookies. He saw you 3 through the door's tiny window, chatting loudly.

- He felt a pang of jealousy in his chest, but he didn't admit it to you nor himself. He slowly walked into the room with his hands folded, the two boys not seeing him behind them. You noticed him first though.

-You were really happy to see him since he never visited, so after quickly rinsing your hands, you pulled him into a tight hug. He didn't even need to glare for Nishinoya and Tanaka to get the memo, they excused themselves and hurried out the room (laughing like lil bitches).

- You asked him what brought him here all of a sudden to which he answered (he's lying), "I got this feeling you were going to mess up something. I don't want to eat cookies that have sugar instead of salt."

- You looked at him, confused, which in turn made him raise his eyebrows. "So if I'm not wrong, you came here to help me? And you also want me to give you some of the cookies?" You stared at him, an amused expression on your face.

- Immediately regrets his shitry lie but he will stay with you for the rest of your break. Slight to 0 chances of him helping, will watch you struggle if something goes wrong 😈.

- HIS MOM LOVESSS YOU!! Everytime you come over, she steals you and you two spend your time together by making a fuck ton of baked desserts. Will talk about Kei as a child.

- "When he was 7, he used to think the word 'mop' was an insult so he would always use it on Akiteru if he gets mad and it was so ador- Y/N honey, that's the self rising flour, the recipe calls for fluid flour <3". Bonding hours lololol

- After a while though, your hobby begins to grow on him and he finds a good way to share it with you....by explaining the chemistry behind baking.

- You're making meringue? He explains why it goes from egg whites to floofy stuff. You're kneading dough? He'll explain why you KNEAD to knead it (ahaha pls laugh). He actually enjoys researching this stuff, and he gets kinda eager to talk to you about it.

- (Courtesy of it being his birthday 2 days ago) If you make him strawberry shortcake...he'll smile. Yeah, he'll give you a legitimately content smile and stare at you with the most loving look. It's kind of concerning ngl...will take a bite of the cake and kiss you so you taste it yourself-

• Miya Osamu:

- POWER COUPLE.

- It's fucking canon he's a bitch for food and cooking. So imagine how giddy he'll be if his amazing, hot and beautiful S/O is like, a god at baking? Or just bakes in general???

- That's definitely the thing you two bond over. Anything that has to do with food, he likes.

- I imagine you two meeting each for the first time because of your baking. So what if one day he saw you showing your newest test trial to your friends? You packed some Palmier cookies for them to try and evaluate, which caught his attention from afar.

- He'll walk through the classroom door and hover over your shoulder like, "Oh em gee what's that?". People assume he's the more shy, timid twin, which isn't completely true. He's just as dumb reckless as Atsumu, only better at hiding it.

- He'll flutter his lashes and try to smooth talk his way into some cookies, which wasn't necessary since there was more than enough for you, your friends + Osamu.

- The lil smile he gave at your agreement was so wholesome <33. He proceeded to take a cookie, stare at it for a few milliseconds and just chomp it. He then took another one. Then another one. Then almost a 4th one before your friend pushed him to save the rest for you.

- He did not hesitate to show just how much he loved these "fancy heart sugar biscuit thingies" were. Was maybe a bit too loud but you still appreciated his kin words.

- Even when you two get together, he'll be just as enthusiastic when you bake something. Maybe ever more since you're together, so he has "aggressive affection" privileges.

- WILL BE SO HAPPY HE HAS SOMEONE TO SHARE HIS CULINARY PASSION WITH!! Seriously, he's so excited whenever you have him with you in the club room. He feels like your trusted assistant.

- If he ever sees something online that he thinks you'd like, he'll bookmark it for later‼

- Buys you cute kitchen tools and items. Matching aprons, CUTE WHISKS!! (tiny whisks are so fucking cute), a bear honey jar. Anything to make the experience more fun :]

- If you work at a patisserie shop, he'll think you're so awesome?? Like, his S/O is so good at baking??? that they work??? at a patisserie shop??? and people buy and love their baking??? How???

- Thinks you look hot while baking. Not even in a sexual way, more of a "admiring the love of my life" way. Like, the way you know what you're supposed to do, how to do it and when to do it is so interesting to him. And you having a genius for doing it is so attractive to him. He likes smart people <33

- Brags about you all the time, unapologetically. Will brag about you to Atsumu, to Kita, to Aran, to Suna, to the lady that works at the local market, to a random classmate. Will also take any chance to mention how you two are culinary geniuses. He thinks it's cool how he's like the chef and you're the baker <3.

- Moral of the story: you're good at baking? Osamu is a fucking simp for you. No room for discussion.

‣ Berry's after-writing note: WHY DID IT TWKE SO LONG RO FINISH BROOO??? HSKSH anyways, thank you so much for requesting, lovely anon!!! and thank you to anyone who enjoyed part one, yall are so sweet <3333

[chairhahaha]

canon es looks like a pathetic baby

i love how u end up analysing every piece you see ur so smart

i honestly hate how everyone handled it so childishly like ur telling me that everyone in vivid street watched an obliviously continue to wait for nagi for YEARS not even a few months or weeks it was most of her life???😭😭 i know they wanted to fufil nagi’s final wish but honestly that’s just so wrong. also taiga what the fuck man how r u gonna destroy an’s dreams like that then bring the entire group JUST TO PROVE THAT VBS CANT BEAT RAD WEEKEND ARE YOU DENSE ok ignore that anyways no way the entire town agreed that this was okay?????

ur right though milgram’s treatment is way more inhumane what the hell is wrong with them, as far as i’m aware i think all the wardens introduced (novel and music project) r like high schoolers. DUDE😭😭😭 imagine just being a normal teenagerthen u wake up with no memory of what u were doing before and get told by a talking chromosome that ur surrounded by murderers thats absolutely terrifying

THE STACKS OF PAPER WHAT THE HELL not even the excessive hw i get could get that bad

idk if u read Side S yet but I’ll spoil it under cut bc good god

Es KNOWS that their memory Was wiped and they don’t gaf because

“I want to be a beautiful warden if that’s the case, if memories are impurities for a warden, then they are unnecessary” Like WHAT THE FUCK WHAT HAS MILGRAM DONE TO YOU

milgram wardens r honestly so dehumanised to the point where nothing else but the verdicts they give is important. jackalop is so. ew i like making fun of him but he also seems genuinely frightening in the sense that he’s a higher rank than es so he could. do anything to them. dont even get me started on novel jackalope she can literally strangle the wardens like “do you want to stop breathing too?” SHUT UP PLEASE

I want t3 so badlu but at the same time im so horrified

ANALYSIS READING TIME!

i feel like i could pull up with this and you’d still find a way to analyse it/pos

edit: WHO VOTED ON THE POLL LMFAOOOOO

messy hair es!!!! i only did that so it wouldn’t look too basic but omg!!!!!!! yes es is clutching onto themselves and their heart, idk i js copied the original poseLMAO

the duller clothing has no meaning i just love playing with saturation

ur flower analysis is so good holy shit i was just trying to doodle those rlly basic flowers bc i was NOT drawing all that detail on an’s shitt. abandonment. oh god the prisoners

“if u put a red and white flower together something something someone will die” <- looks at a prisoner

Okay I Actually Lied I Did Want To Put Symbolism (abt the person behind es)

You are correct that is supposed to be past es, i was trynna go for like there’s nothing much to past es’ design because es doesn’t know their past self so. they could be anything . so like the basic ness in the design means that there’s not much u can really say about a past you don’t remember WHAT AM I SAYING

“they died before even becoming a warden” HOLY FUCKING SHITTTTRTT THATS SO SICK I HATE MILGRAM

the pancreas thing is so cool i didnt even know that what

the longer hair was entirely an accident its bc i didnt have a reference of es’ back hair. but of course kani finds a way to analyse it and still make it make sense. ahoge was also unintentional LMFAO es is implied to have a bad past so it makes sense that pre milgram es would be depressed

THE NUMBER OF FLOWERS TOO?? i honestly had no idea numbers had symbolisms i just pasted a bunch of flowers everywhere so the background wouldnt look basic

i DEFO drew them looking like hearts but i tried drawing petals scattered everywhere. the hearts look cute tho

did u know i based the fence off the wall thing in ur engeki es art😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

the fence bar things is supposed to represent milgram bc. the gold things r in milgram. es’ room. and the fact that warden es and past es r separated by that fence implies that milgram is preventing es from uhh knowing their past/true self by putting a fence and hiding the past from them

idk shit about fences so im just gonna go with whatever u said about facing outwards and inwards bc it still makes sm sense😭

oh god the heart being split apart because es was ripped from their childhood and since its a fence they can’t get it back

^ that was NOT intentional i just wanted to say smt

i think i need to get better at symbolisms like i’m literally a milgram fan

THANK TOU SO MUCHHH OH MY GOF DON’T KYS YOU CAN DIE FROM THAT🙏🙏🙏🙏

下剋上

i need to stop drawing them with a baby face all the time😭😭

if u find any symbolisms here it was probably an accident i suck at analysing and all that

An and Es when they have 2 letter names and were raised in an environment that they believed and trusted in only to realise that the truth was being hidden from them (if that makes sense)

who died???? probably their freedom

^ if that makes. sense (I SAID THAT ALREADY)

based off this

if u saw me post this b4 u didnt