#oh mu god my brain

[alfazoings]

fiish :33

[lanchang]

god im sorry but xie lian's relationship with mu qing will always be the most compelling relationship to meeeeeee and i mean that in all interpretations of it i love the romantic/sexual interpretation and i also love the platonic interpretation i think its a really fascinating dynamic that really hits on something real and true to life theres a lot of care and love and misunderstanding and admiration and resentment and genuine friendship and its just so so good every time

[partyinthemysterymachine]

gripping the steering wheel. <- this is relevant to mhy thoughts

h. hang on. hang on a second hang on a second hNAGN ON A FUCKNG SECOND I JUST REALIZED

I JUST UFKING RUEALIZED SOMETHING IV'E GOT ANOTHER FUCKING. H HANG ON I DREW ANOTHER FUCKING PARALLEL AND YES IT HAS TO DOW ITH PARKING JUST HANG THE UFCK ON A SECOND,

[simcardiac-arrested]

me after 17 benadryl

[lil-tachyon]

For the last couple weeks I've been drawing logos / designs for local-ish (mostly NJ, some PA and NY) bands as warmups in the morning. Here's what I've come up with! Massive post below the break explaining each logo + where to find each band and listen to their music.

Teenage Halloween- a staple of New Jersey basements for probably about a decade now and finally getting wider recognition in the last couple years. Pop punk / power pop with a killer horn section. First time I saw them was in New Brunswick playing with Walter Etc. and Blowout. They played a killer cover "Build Me Up Buttercup" and my wife got a black eye in the pit. Recommended tracks: "Brain Song," "666," "Clarity." Their first EP is on a separate bandcamp page btw, check it out here it's great.

Sweet Pill - They will call themselves a Philly band but in my heart they'll always be from Glassboro. Definitely one of the more recognizable names on this list. Emo revival - early stuff is more twinkly, more recent stuff is heavier. All of it's great. Recommended tracks "Nephew," "High Hopes."

Shark Club - Central Jersey's finest. I'm very biased because I actually know these dudes and they did the music for my wedding. Some of the best pop punk you'll hear and the nicest people you'll meet. Recommended tracks: "Game Theory," "Bill Murray," "Heavens to Betsy."

Rest Ashore - My favorite band for the last (oh God I'm old now) eight years. From gut-wrenching emo ballads to virtuoso math-rock instrumentals they do it all. One time I got to sing vocals on "Lucy's Theme" at a house show- thank you Erica! Recommended tracks: "Hjarta," "Chinese Opera," "Devotion," "Soyuz Sweetheart." Too many bangers to name honestly, just deep dive their discography.

Morus Alba - First band I ever went to see at a house show and still one of my absolute favorites. Their music feels like the bridge between the best pitchfork, /mu/ alt rock bands and high energy basement emo. I mean that as a compliment and I hope it comes off as one lol. I should note that since 2019 Morus Alba has morphed from a band into an experimental hip-hop project so later releases sound radically different and basically disconnected from the earlier stuff. Also my favorite release from them, Live at Isabelle's, has been scrubbed from the internet but if you'd like the files just email me. Recommended tracks: "Skyscraper," "Human Resources," "The Goodnight Waltz."

Have a Good Season - another Jersey mainstay that's still going strong. Emo revival in their earlier releases, now with more 70s power pop influences in their newer stuff. See them live, they put on a fantastic show and usually play some great covers in addition to their original music. HaGS guys if you're reading this, please put your version of "Since You've Been Gone" online, I'm begging you. Recommended tracks: "Joseph / Shel Silverstein," (you have to listen to them together for the drop, so good) , "Gum, "Gleaux / Scab." Also, frontman Nic Palermo interviewed me once.

Elephant Jake - If you see any of these bands live make it EJ, they put on such a damn good show. Electrifying indie punk from the Empire State. Recommended tracks: "F.D.C." "Sarah Moyer," "Goodness to Honest," and of course you gotta learn "Sebastien Bauer" for the singalongs.

Blind Lion - Sadly one of the greats that we lost along the way. Defunct since about 2017. I only got to see them once but it was a great performance. Alongside their own stuff they played some killer covers of "Bad Moon Rising" and "Moonage Daydream." I had trouble doing a logo design for them because I actually really like the composition, if not the "Ed Hardy-ness," of their existing logo so what you see here are two separate attempts, neither of which feels entirely satisfying to me. Frontperson Larry Flately currently plays in Nematode and also handled production of Bradley Gardens joke hiphop group The Breakfast Boiz under the moniker "DJ Ova EZ." Recommended tracks: "Brumous," "Dinner."

Fighting Seasons - A band that I sadly found out about too late (via a sticker under the bridge in my town which has since been painted over). 2010s pop punk that packs a helluva punch, especially considering that I'm pretty sure the members were high schoolers for most of the band's existence. I think some members may have gone on to form Sawce (FFO Chon, Polyphia, that type of music) but I can't remember where I read/heard that so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Recommended tracks: "Fighting Seasons," "Oil on Canvas"

Milkmen- Another fallen giant, officially disbanded in 2019. Like Morus Alba, they played the very first house show I attended and their few releases remain on constant rotation in my home. Used to put on a great show and were one of the bands I always thought would make it big until suddenly they weren't around anymore. Frontman Ben Thieberger contributed guitar and vocals to Covid quarantine project Kin if you're looking for a bit of an extra fix but beyond that I don't know what these guys are up to these days, sadly. Recommended tracks: "Ramus," "Johnny Dangerously," "how sieves catch breeze," "K.O.T.H."

Stand and Wave - New York (now Philly) pop punkers delivering instant dopamine hits with every track. Another great live act, see them with EJ if you can! They often play shows together. Recommended tracks: "Convos," "Mrs. Dash," "Splashton Kutcher," "Michael Collins."

My Chemical Romance - You know who they are. While I was drawing all these other logos I ran a poll on Patreon to decide which famous New Jersey band should also be graced with a drawing from me. MCR won the poll by a hefty margin so unfortunately you won't get to see me do an illegible black metal take on Hoboken's Yo La Tengo. I ended up doing two versions: the one with the halo is the first, the one with the bats was the second. I tried to do something kind of thin and elegant with the first one and I don't think it's terrible but I also wasn't quite satisfied with it. For the 2nd attempt I tried to lean into the kind of pulpy, almost horror punk aesthetic of early MCR and I think that one looks better even if it's less original.

Anyway if you took the time to read through all this, thank you very much! And please support these bands! Also If any of the links aren't working please let me know.

-Logan

[romcomxb]

got this gem off pinterest today and oh my god-

Idk the context of this but what if hangster met before either of them joined the navy.

Bradley was focussing on college, he'd been set back so far in his career thanks to his dads, he couldn't afford to loose any more time. At least that's what he told himself every time one of his friends invited him out for drinks.

And Jake was taking a gap year. He had done a year in college, realised he hated his degree and took a year off to figure his shit out. So far his 'journey of self discovery' had included seemingly endless benders, a LOT of experimentation, and a whole lotta hangovers.

One night, Jake was out at a gay bar with one of his mates, but said mate had found a hookup and ditched within an hour. Jake hadn't been bothered though, he needed a drink but he wasn't all too stressed about who with.

The shirt had been a half joking gift from his sister after he came out, in a quiet corner under an overpass. That afternoon was one Jake wouldn't be forgetting any time soon. It felt good, having someone who knew the innermost part of him and wouldn't judge him for it.

A week later, she'd handed him the shirt, along with a stick of her old eyeliner and an object that looked suspiciously like a butt plug. But apparently it was just a compact powder.

Jake accepted the gifts with a laugh and an elbow jab to the stomach, then stuffed them in the bottom of his closet (ironic isn't it) for the next few years. There they stayed, until he began his gap year, and found the shirt surprisingly suitable for some of the clubs that his new friends frequented.

Bradley on the other hand had been dragged along to the club by a few of his mates. His friends had assigned Bradley as the chaperone for the night, so he had spent most of the time hanging by the edges.

Anyway, Jake was nursing his fourth drink of the night and enjoying the view, when one of Bradley's mates fell into him, spilling a drink over his pants.

'What the fuck?' Jake gasped, swinging around to face the boy.

'Ssshit-' The pretty clearly out of it boy mumbled and pushed himself up against the bar with a burp. Jake raised an eyebrow and set his drink down, struggling to clear some of the brain fog from his head.

'Jesus Danny how much have you had?' A gruff voice sounded from along the bar, and Jake glanced up. Across from the drunk boy was the hottest guy Jake had ever seen. Well that’s what his more than a little tipsy brain was telling him. He was tall, and buff, and his jaw was vaguely shadowed with stubble.

'Not that much' Danny slurred and his face turned a shade of green. The other guy sighed and began fussing over his friend. He managed to make clicking his tongue disapprovingly look attractive and Jake wasn't sure how he felt about that.

After a few moments of Jake struggling to decide what to do with his drink, the taller man’s attention turned to him. His gaze was clear and intense, the clarity in those brown eyes shocked him. His arms filled out his tight shirt that made Jake feel things he hadn't felt in, well, ever.

'Hey, sorry ‘bout that' He apologised and Jake's mouth was suddenly very dry. He struggled to formulate a coherent response and instead began gaping like a fish. He should not have had that last drink, it was making it frustratingly hard to tap into his usual smooth talking charm. After a few moments, the taller boy gestured to the wet patch staining Jake's pants.

'Oh! That- yeah no stress man, it’s chill-‘ Jake winced internally. What the fuck? It’s chill? No stress? What on earth was he saying? Jake bit back a groan then stood up, having to steady himself for a second on the stool. Maybe he wasn’t as sober as he thought. ‘I’m just gonna, go clean up-‘ He muttered, then sped across the club floor, refusing to look back at the guy.

After he finished wiping down his pants, Jake took a moment to recollect himself in front of the mirror. His shirt had escaped the worst of the spill, somehow no matter how much he wore the shirt, it managed to avoid any stains. One of the perks of a rainbow shirt, maybe. Jake grinned to himself and began to wash his hands.

A loud crash sounded to his right as the bathroom door was pushed open and he glanced up to see Danny all but running toward the nearest cubicle. Jake winced, he’d been in the same position plenty, he did not envy the guy.

A few moments later Danny was followed by his friend from earlier. Jake had to push down a hiccup of surprise as the man caught his gaze in the mirror.

He quickly turned the tap off and began to dry his hands, his eyes downcast. He’d already made a fool of himself, he didn’t really feel like fucking up anymore tonight.

‘I didn’t catch your name.’ Jake blinked as the taller guy spoke.

‘I didn’t throw it.’ He replied and turned to lean against the wall. Jake took the resulting huff as a good one.

‘I’m Bradley.’ The stranger stated and held out a hand. Jake took it eagerly. Bradley. He hadnt taken him as a Bradley, but he supposed he could see it now. It suited him.

A moment later Jake realised that Bradley was waiting for a reply. He quickly cleared his throat, ‘Jake.’

Bradley smiled and nodded, his hands slipping back into his pockets. ‘Nice to meet you.’

‘Likewise.’

[southparkhcsocs]

kicking my feet and giggling

can you do something like the main 4 praising you whether it's nsfw or not or both

heavy on the nsfw but you can pick 🤭

It's been a while babes ❤️ remember when that's what this blog was lol

Fem!reader

Under 18s dni! NSFW under the cut.

All characters are aged up to mid 20s thx

Stan Marsh

Stan wouldn't praise you as much as you'd like.

He doesn't say much generally.

But when he's drunk. Good God.

You are a goddess to him.

Everything you do is amazing, omg stunning!

"you're soo pretty, y/n. 'm so lucky to ha ve you. Look at you. You do so mu-ch for me. I loove youu."

Whether sober or drunk he'll praise you in the bedroom

He's a pretty dominant guy but he has to make sure you know how perfect you are for him.

But it's so much more when he's drunk.

He will stop mid thrust to complement and praise you.

Will end in crying lol

"So perfect." He mumbled into your neck before going to kiss your lips. He stopped his movements to just admire your beauty. "I love you so much. You're so good to me... I don't deserve you." His lip trembles.

You need to praise him back bc bro is insecure!!

Kyle Broflovski

Kyle will praise you a nice amount I think

If he thinks you've done something well, like getting a job, promotion etc he'll genuinely praise you

"That's amazing! I knew you could do it!"

If it's something he doesn't think warrants praise, like getting groceries, cleaning, basically everyday things he won't say anything but thanks. Not that he doesn't appreciate it, he just thinks it's not a big deal.

If everyday things are something you struggle with he'll try praising you but it will be half-hearted.

I don't imagine Kyle being much of a talker during sex

I also imagine him getting quite flustered when you ask him to praise you while he's two fingers deep inside you

"I - uuuhh." His brain fizzles out. System overload as he looks into your desperate eyes. "P-praise you? H-how?" He asked. You thrust your hips to remind him to keep fingering you which kicks starts his brain back to work. "oh, uummm g-good girl. S-so precious aren't you." He burrows his face into the crook of your neck. "You feel so good around my fingers."

He'll get so embarrassed if you praise him. He's not used to it!

Kenny McCormick

Kenny showers you with praises

No matter what you've done he thinks you're amazing, he understands how difficult things can be and wants to shower you in love, complements and praises

But he's so cool and collected it's sexy

"great job, babe."

But will almost always end it with something sexual

"you deserve a reward, huh?"

In bed, he'll praise you constantly

He'll get you to praise yourself.

"you're such a good girl, aren't you? Tell me how good you are for me, baby." His words reverberate against your neck as he's 6 inches deep. Fucking you so hard that you can barely get the words out. "Come on pretty girl. Tell me how much you deserve this."

You can praise him but he'll praise you right back. So much. He'll give you butterflies.

Eric Cartman

Cartman isn't much of a praiser

If you cook him his favourite meal he'll be like "Meh"

The only time he would praise you is when he's bringing you back from subspace

"such a good girl." "You did so well." "Look how pretty you are covered in my cum."

Bro would have you begging to be praised.

"what? You think you deserve praise?" He takes hold of your jaw, forcing you to look at him. "Babe, you're only good when you're on your knees sucking my cock. If you're not doing that, what is there to praise?" His hand slides to the back of your head, pushing you down to his crotch. "You need to work for it, slut."

Nooo his ego is too big don't praise him!!!! He doesn't deserve it!

Will melt at being called a good boy.

[rodolfoparras]

Sick sick sick pervert (who's also a fucking loser) that can't help but to love you like man loves a god... and sadistic reader who wants to see how far he can taunt the pervert before he snaps

Sorryyy i love demented little freaks that kiss

Tw for stalking + voyeurism + bouncing povs (sorryyy its fun) marked by "-"

He knows it's wrong. He knows he should be ashamed and all, but it's hard to worry about morals when he's witnessing art—that is, to say, you working out shirtless.

He scrambles up the tree, thoroughly flustered; you never work out on Mondays, and usually you draw the blinds. So why tonight?

-

You glance through your window, stifling a smile as you see him nearly slip on a wet branch. You turn your eyes back to the weights on the floor. If you played up seeing "something" move outside, he'd be careful. Not something you want, you want to see just how pathetic and sloppy he can get.

-

He dropped his camera. Shit, shit shit! He tumbles down the tree, scoops it up off the (thankfully soft) grass, and checks: no broken glass, nothing out of place. All good. Once again, he loses his footing on a wet branch and gives out a punched-out gasp. Whatever, you didn't notice last time. He raises the camera as you raise a dumbbell and takes the first picture of the night.

Click. "Fuck!"

-

...Is your stalker really dumb enough to leave the flash on?

You turn your back to the window to roll your eyes, then give your silly stalker another chance. You begin bicep curls facing towards the window and hear the rapid clicking synonymous with your personal paparazzi.

Soon, though, the clicking fades even after you begin more showy workouts, and as you focus you hear the most infuriatingly pretty moaning.

-

He's a failure. He came here for pictures! Just pictures! But fuck, you're stretching and he can see how big your dick is through your clothed and oh my god, it's bigger than even his biggest toy. Of course you'd be hung, you were sent from the heavens just to save him.

He stifles a whine as he spits on his hand again and wraps it back up around his weeping cock. He sees you tense up and bites his lip—was he too loud? His thoughts are scattered. He's torn between either wearing that cock cage he engraved your name on or making sure to jerk off before leaving the house when he comes to watch you. No more on-site masturbation, it's so risky.

-

He's jerking off? Seriously? Perched in a tree he's fallen on twice, he's jerking off? God, you know he's intelligent and all but he's got no common sense. You ought to fuck him til his left brain's smarts match his right brain's; til the only thing he remembers is how good his God's dick feels in his stomach.

[hmm not sure if i should finish this]

WHY DO YOU LEAVE MASTERPIECES LIKE THESE IN MY INBOX PLEASE POST THESE ON YOUR BLOG LOVE OH MU GOD🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️🧎🏻‍♂️

[artist-issues]

You're my new favorite blog! You have no idea how I wish I could peck inside your brain like a chicken. 😭😂😂 I am a Catholic and a recovering agnostic. I struggle with letting go of my old way of life and philosophy constantly, I have been struggling with it since the day I decided to revert - that was back in 2017. (I think you would like to know my journey back to the Faith started after watching HBO's The Young Pope! 👌🏼) At this point I don't know if I'll ever be the person the Lord wants me to be, oh well, I'll die trying and I know that will mean something.

I just know I can't go back to being a non-believer, because as Carl Young said, now I don't just believe, I know. The irony is my struggle to believe in something I know to be objectively the Truth.

I have a question for you though, actually I hope for some advice from you. How do I reconcile with the reality that I haven't become who I dreamed to become (like career wise), but now that a new career has been shoved upon me (a career my parents wanted for me - and they valued safety and stability over "following my dreams" I suppose)? ...which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it is an extremely noble profession and it pays quite well.

The thing is, as much as I try to accept my new career, I keep telling myself and to others that I'm doing this for my parents and not because I want to be here. I feel terrible about it. But, again, it's not like I am unfulfilled (I am unhappy though, but that comes with the work culture/environment, I feel like I am surrounded by 40+ year old teenagers); as a matter of fact, I do think I know - objectively - in my heart that this is exactly where the Lord wants me to be? But I keep fighting against it, keep struggling against this sense of vocational calling that I'm feeling towards my new job, instead I desperately wanna give into my want to go "live the life I want." Like throw this all away, get new training and start all over with the career I wanted all those years ago.

I want to be better, to be sacrificial like Christ on the Cross. I've always known I had a little depression (comes with my disability from a young age and this whole dream thing); I have been suicidal over this, I actually used to joke with myself that I'd kill myself if I don't achieve my professional goals by the time I turned 25. I will turn 30 this September and even though I haven't been literally dead, I feel like I've been in a vegetative state - mentally - ever since the day I turned 25. I hope that makes sense.

I started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago since my mental health started affecting my new job - she did say I have depression and is trying to help me but I just don't know if I want to be helped at all, because I am unable to do the exercises she tells me (like create a routine, exercise well, write down good thoughts, etc.) I feel like I'm failing myself, my parents and, most importantly, my Heavenly Father.

I apologise if this is nonsensical, I apologise for dumping all of this on you - random stranger on the internet - but idk I felt like maybe you'd have something wise to tell me to knock some sense into me (without a bump to prove it hehe).

Thank you and God bless! 🥰

You’re very kind, and I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to share all this with me! I really never have anything good of my own to say, or any wisdom to offer, except what I “steal” from God…and I guess what I mean is, if I ever say anything helpful or good or true, I’m just the messenger. I didn’t come up with it. On my own I have zero wisdom or good things to offer.

Anyway, I was surprised reading this because I have gone through (been going through) a similar sort of mindset. I went to school for the career I dreamed about (still dream about) and I worked hard and I wanted it more than anybody around me (very Mike Wasowski in MU of me) and it hasn’t happened the way I planned, or in my timetable.

I mean, in all humility: I work with a studio making a tv show, but it hasn’t got off the ground yet, and I work for a company that writes movie reviews, but neither of those things pay my bills. I have a third job, working with therapists, that’s nothing like what I always wanted to do. That’s my “career,” but it’s not the career I’m passionate about and working toward. And I wonder if I’ll ever do anything “major” in the line of work I love and went to school for. And when I do, I have gotten into some really dark mental places.

Forgive me for not using the words “depression” or “suicidal.” I hate using those words because they’re overused and romanticized and flooding the culture. But more importantly I hate using them because the only thing I identify with is Christ, not any mental struggle I try to slither back into, like a snake trying to put back on old skin. I’m not my overthinking—I’m not my depression—I’m not my suicidal thoughts or emotions—I am one with Christ. Those are things inside me that are defeated and dead—the teeth have been knocked out of them. They just gum me from time to time. So I want you to know I empathize with you, but that’s my point and that’s how I want to answer you:

The only thing about you that really matters is Christ.

Who He says you are, what He has done and how He lived, which is applied to you because He said it is, by grace alone, through faith alone. No matter how you feel.

And I say that to you, as the answer, because I think you and I focus too much on what could be and what “should be” as if God has a set path for us, and if we don’t figure out what it is and walk it, we’ll have a less-fulfilling life. “If I stay at my therapy job and just work with teenagers and write on my blog for the rest of my life, I’ll be fine, but I won’t be as good as I could be.” Or for you. “If I stay in this career I’m in, the one my parents backed me into, I’ll make it, I’ll be fine, but I’ll never be as happy as I want to be.” We’re both thinking, every once in a while, “This is career is what God wants for me, and all my misery is coming from not submitting to it, and if I could just wrestle my contentment into place and give up the thing I want, and submit to what God wants, I’d be fulfilled.”

But how do we know any of those thoughts are true? How do we know God wants us in these boring old careers we wouldn’t have chosen—didn’t choose? Or, how do we know these boring old careers are what we’re stuck in because we didn’t take the plunge and work harder for our “dreams,” which were what He really wanted us to do? How do we know either of those things?

We don’t. We don’t get to know. That’s the point.

Because that’s not how God works. Not from what I can tell in the Bible.

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”. Colossians 3:17.

Whatever you do. Not “the one specific thing you figure out He wants you to do.”

My mom described it to me once when I was in a really dark place trying to figure out what He wanted me to do, paralyzed with indecision, afraid He wanted me to do something I just didn’t want to do, like this: “God doesn’t hold out one flower and say, ‘this is the one I want you to have, so you can either take it or take something worse.’ God makes a field of flowers, and He says, ‘Which one do you want? Pick one, and do it with excellence for Me.’ Then just trust Him to make it good.”

It sounds like you’re in a career, but you are wrestling with whether or not to pick it, now that you have some autonomy as an adult, or to pick starting over. Well. Pick one. Just pick one. And trust God to take care of you. Trusting God looks like thinking it through with excellence, then making the decision—and making the decision means letting go of worrying about the thing you didn’t pick. “Take every thought captive in obedience to Christ.” Once you make a choice, make it all the way, and don’t let your mind wander anymore to “what if this blows up in my face? What if I should’ve stayed back there at the crossroads, or gone down the other path?” It’s going to be hard and God is going to take care of you, no matter what you pick. So don’t let your mind go to those places where you worry; acknowledge the worry, and every time, ask God to help you remember that He’s got you.

Because here’s the point, here’s the thing: He does have you. Because ultimately, your career really doesn’t matter. It doesn’t, it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Neither does your dream. Not ultimately. And now I’ll say “our” because I need to hear it too. Our dreams and careers are not the point of us, and our dreams and careers are not what God means when He says “I’ll take care of you.”

What He means is, “I’ve already taken care of you.” Because the most important thing isn’t our job or our dream. The most important thing is, we’ve been rescued out of eternally being trapped in our broken desires, and now we get to live for Christ, Who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. That’s the major. And that truth is where our fulfillment is supposed to come from, what our lives are meant for, our purpose. As long as we pick one, and do it with excellence to make the name of Jesus famous, with that goal in mind, we’ll be emotionally fulfilled. We’ll be satisfied. Because that’s the goal. Not making movies, or whatever it is you want to do. Not having secure means of living. Just…living our lives to make who Jesus is famous. We can do that wherever.

So then the choice? It becomes a minor, not a major, and the pressure of “will I be happy?” is off, because happiness isn’t found in that stuff. And whenever I forget, and start looking for happiness in my dreams, goals, career, that’s when it all starts to feel dark and stressful and hard and crushing. Because it was never meant to give me happiness or fulfillment—that’s a need only Christ can fulfill.

Don’t misunderstand me. He cares what you do. He cared about every decision you make, and He does have a plan. But that’s going to happen anyway. So just pray, consider which option is a) wise to go for and takes care of the responsibilities God has entrusted you with, b) which option you genuinely want, when your wants are not influenced by fears, and then c) step out and do it in faith. And do it with the mindset of, “I’m doing this, and I’m not thinking about the alternative if I can help it, and I’m also not putting all my happiness-eggs in this basket, because even if it crashes and burns, hey, I’m still one with Christ and I can still make Him famous no matter what road my career goes down.”

I hope this helps. It’s a subject I’m hamster-wheeling around in my mind right now a lot—but when I just fix my eyes on Christ and think about how the most important things, the things that give real joy and happiness, are already and forever taken care of and I can’t mess them up—then can get off the hamster wheel and enjoy the life He’s given me, right now, today, without worrying about the future.

[oh-koenig-my-koenig]

Fit for a King - WIP - "You are tiny"

Fit for a King - Masterlist

König fanfiction scenes and chapters that do not yet have a coherent plot

planned content/TW: rivals to lovers, König x fem!character (not too descriptive to make it accessible for more readers), social anxiety killing machine König, badass friendly FMC, dual POV, secret relationship, switch energy, NSFW, adult themes, strong language, violence (more details are still unclear, gonna update as I go), authentic austrian german

a/n: well, my brain isn't letting go of this newest obsession of mine, so I will appease it and write some scenes/chapters that come to mind. i have written more original work and less fanfictions and our boy (and KorTac) is hard to research, but I'll try my best to stay some-what cannon to the lore. it'll also probably get darker down the road.

if your character doesn't have a tragic backstory, why not give him one?

A not so meetcute

(CW: some mature language)

I strut along the hallway, I'm already late to report for duty and turn the corner abruptly. I collide with somebody else at full walking force and almost get pushed to the floor, if the big figure blocking the light shining from above wouldn't have caught me. "Ouch.", I yelp, more surprised than hurt, even though I feel like ran over by a truck.

I steady myself to look at the "truck". I look up and I keep looking up and up. At first there's just this chest, a huge chest, in a simple compression shirt, but oh boy. The weapon holster is what I see next, sitting snug at the side of his torso. Shoulders, big broad shoulders, and normally you would expect to have a head sitting on top of them and a face looking back at you. I guess, he has one as well, even though I don't see one bit of it. I strain my neck to finally meet his eyes.

But all I see is the dark black of a… sniperhood? A T-shirt? I mean, it looks like a t-shirt, that somebody cut holes in to fashion themselves a kind of mask. The front is stained with bleach, two streaks coming down from the eyeholes... My eyes widen as it sinks in who this is. König. KorTac operator, field combatant and one of my superiors. Shit. I've heard some rumors about him. And it seems like at least some of them ring true.

"You are tiny.", he states matter-of-factly, his Austrian accents shining through the uttered words. It's the first thing he says to me. "And you are... not.", I retort. I can't make out his expression as it so obviously is hidden by his mask. He nods, turns around and heads down the hallway where he came from. I shake my head. What the hell was that?

I stretch myself, feeling the impact of the collision already. My god, that was like being hit by a battering ram. I heard that his specialty is breaking down doors with brute force. I thought this to be ridiculous, but now as I watch the gigantic muscled man strut down the hallway, quickly disappearing, I do believe it. 6'10" killing machine. Ridiculous.

I shake my head again and make my way to the meeting room. Ridgeback is already waiting for me.

______________________________________________________________

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. Verdammt. Ah, des hast du ganz super g'macht.* I tell myself sarcastically in my head as I basically run down the hallway. She must be one of the new hires. Must be. And you almost turned her to mush. Mus. Brei. Human remains splattered against the wall. I curse myself again. I didn't even apologize. "You are tiny." No shit, Sherlock, everybody is tiny compared to you. I continue to mock myself. Fuck, Shit, Fuck.

"Ridge, since when do we hire children?", I ask him as soon as I enter the room. He doesn't even look up. "We don't." He keeps reading. "Then why did I just almost run over a recruit that didn't even reach my waist?" – “Because compared to you, everybody seems tiny.” He sighs and looks up at me. “None of our personnel are under 6’, not even the women.”

“Even the new recruits?”, I ask him again. He furrows his brow. “What did you do, König?”, he wants to now. “I may or may not have almost trampled one of them.”, I say, kleinlaut***. He sighs again. “I think that was Müller, she’s actually on her way here.”, Ridgeback says. “Müller? Is she german?”, I ask in surprise. I didn’t hear such an accent on her, but to be fair, she only said like three words… and I wasn’t really paying attention to her words anyway.

On cue, the door opens and I fall silent. “Permission to enter, Sir?”, she says with a clear voice. Not at all seeming like I almost turned her into pulp. I take two steps back to stand in the back, trying to blend into the wall behind me – which I already know from experience is not going to work. “Come in.”, Ridge says. “Müller, right?” She nods and approaches. My focus is fully on her, all the small bits I noticed about her before are still there. She’s not wearing a mask because it’s not necessary off mission. You know, like you normally would. She has laugh lines. Around her eyes and mouth. Fucking laugh lines. She doesn’t look like she belongs here.

The two of them are talking, but I catch every single time when her gaze lands on me, even if it’s just from the corner of her eyes. I fight against the urge to turn away every time she looks at me, when I hear Ridgeback drop the old s-word. Sniper.

My ears perk up and I finally pay attention to what they’re saying again. “Your track record is almost immaculate, Müller. You’re gonna be an asset to the team on the next missions.”, he says to her. I can see that she tries to hold back a proud expression or smile on her face, but she doesn't really succeed at that. God damn it, a sniper. I groan and make my way to the door which doesn’t go unnoticed. “König.”, Ridgeback pipes up. “You wanna show Müller the way to the dorms?” as I already have my hand on the doorknob.

I still for just a moment and the roaring sensation of anxiety seeps at my feet and crawls up my body until it’s nested at the back of my head. I can’t talk to her. Not after embarrassing myself before. “Nein.”, is all I say before I’m out the door.

*God damnit. You did a really bang up job. ** two different words for pulp/mash *** meekly (word for word: 'smallloud')

[msgexymunson]

Stray

Description: Eddie finds a kindred spirit.

Warnings: as far as I can tell, none! Pure fluff, gender neutral reader

A/N: Just a cute lil idea I had and I had to let it out so my brain would let me focus on mu next big fic. Enjoy!

700 words

Masterlist

"Eddie, where the hell have you been?" 

Flushed and panting, Eddie flops down onto the chair in the cafeteria, one arm held almost protectively across his chest. 

"What do you mean? I'm right fuckin' here!" 

Rolling your eyes, you shove his shoulder. 

"I didn't ask where you are, I asked where you were, doofus!" 

"I had shit to do, God, don't get your panties in a twist." 

You know you should drop it; being Eddie's best friend, you know him well enough to know when to stop. When his neck tightens like that, and his nose scrunches a little, you're sure he's being serious. 

It seems however, his little sheep aren't as perceptive. 

"Eddie, did I just hear a meow? Don't tell me you've brought a feral cat into the cafeteria?" Dustin says, arms waving in front of Eddie's face. 

"Just drop it, dude!" You see his flustered attitude, the tightening of his shoulders. 

"You found a cat Eddie? Fuck." Gareth says, hand reaching out to Eddie's jacket but he flinches from the approaching grip.

"You've all lost your minds. What's wrong with you? Imma have a smoke." And with that, he leaves just as mysteriously and abruptly as he arrived. 

The guys all stand in unison, each loud mouth expressing some theory or another. 

"Ok boys, enough chatter. Lemme speak to him." You wave your arms in a calming gesture to placate the growing hubbub and make your way to the bench where Eddie did his deals. 

Enveloped in the quiet whisper of the woods, you inhale the deep pine scent and cast your eyes on your best friend.

There he was, like he always was, sitting on the bench, cigarette in hand. Only it seems his face is halfway in his jacket, deep in conversation.

'Eddie?" Your voice rings a question, and he answers with a quick whip of his head. 

"It's OK, I'm just checking on you." You raise your hands in mock submission, inching closer to him, to take your obligatory seat opposite him.

He sighs so deeply you feel it in your marrow. 

"I'm ok, just, can you keep a secret?" He gazes at you with earnest eyes, eyes you'd been in love with for longer than you'd care to admit. 

"Eddie, it's me. Of course I can." 

His shoulders visibly relax at your words. At the same time, a very curious nose makes its way out of its leather jacket confines, sniffing the air. 

"Eddie, is that a raccoon?" 

He smiles. "Yeah. It's just a baby, I dunno where it's mom is, it was all alone." Eddie strokes at the baby raccoon's head making quiet shushing noises. It preens at his touch. 

"Jesus Eddie we should call animal control-" 

"No!" The strength of his shout nearly knocks the wind from you. 

He softens at your flinch, hand held out in supplication.

"They'll just put him down! Lucifer's not done anything wrong, just doesn't have his mother anymore but he's super sweet, he's just got a bad rep, you know? Doesn't mean he's bad, and why should we judge him anyway, just 'cause people labelled him a pest!" 

You watch the tears gather in Eddie's eyes as you finally connect the dots. 

"Oh, Eddie." You bite your lip, willing your own tears to retreat as you reach for his hand. He takes it gratefully, lost in each other's eyes for a moment. 

"He's not a pest. He's a little life. I tell you what, I know who could help. You know that Mr Clarke, the middle school teacher? Dustin talks about him all the time, I bet he could point us to a wildlife sanctuary, or a charity or something."

Eddie beams, face igniting like the rays of the sun. 

"You think so?" 

You stroke his knuckles, face turning a pale pink.

"I know so." 

Suddenly, Lucifer the Raccoon climbs out of the makeshift enclosure of Eddie's jacket and crawls it's way over to you. 

"See, he likes you!" Eddie grins. 

Taking the little ball of fur into your hands you hold it out at arm's length.

"I think you should think of a new name for Lucifer." You giggle, turning the baby raccoon this way and that. 

"Why?" 

"Because Lucifer's a girl."

Eddie laughs. 

"Lucy it is!" 

@eddiemunsons-missingnipple @munson-blurbs @zestychili @corrodedhawkins @indouloureux @cool-nick-miller

Masterlist

[sidecharactersdomatter]

Thoughts I had during TGCF S2 Ep 6

Previously on TGCF…

This is gonna be epic!!!

Cw: Past homicide

-That’s Yong’An in its heyday 

-Sparrows

-Fang Xin

-It’s Qianqiu’s assistant from Eps 1-2!

-Young Qianqiu is literally me in my Freshman year of High School during the first semester

-His butterfly shaped mask

-Writing the Laozi 10 times has the energy of making a kid stay in class and write a sentence over and over on the chalkboard till they’ve learned their lesson (Literally every Simpsons opening)

-He doubled it

-Imagine if Piandao talked to Sokka like that when beginning his sword training

-Man wonder who voices Young!Qianqiu?

-I mean the move could also get you hurt if you’re careless

-This is the Ancient Chinese version of the trolley problem, same analogy though

-I like to think this advice was taught to Zuko and Sokka when they were learning swordsmanship

-See, trolley problem esque

-Good advice to not intervene

-More dead bodies

-Oh no and that was his Dad

-That’s when the survivor’s guilt set in

-I can see why Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are perfect for each other, they both have a freaking high kill count

-Just like when Bruce Wayne lost his parents

-What did he say?

-He’s not a monster

-That was during his second ascenscion

-That’s gonna be a bad outcome

-“I wish to be stripped of my divinity” Literally every fangirl’s brain drifted to something else when he said that.  Just look at Kictor and Stitch

-Doesn’t seem like he earned it at all

-He just wants to get out of the drama

-If there was a modern AU, you know Shi Qingxuan would make an awesome and wealthy defense attorney

-There’s the Amongus quote

-Dang no answer

-There’s Prosecutor Pei Ming, that’s a good nickname.

-He made a solid point

-That’s the result of the Fang Xin trial with XL on house arrest and a restraining order from Taihua

-He made another enemy

-Aaaa pickle jar, better believe it Qingxuan

-How is she going to get air???

-That upset Qingxuan, Feng Xin, and Mu Qing

-The interior looks hollow in Xie Lian’s palace

-That’s coming out of Qingxuan’s pockets

-He deserves the apology hun

-He’s doing it, he’s doing the iconic old time Put your head between your arms against a flat surface like a Disney Princess!

-He still has the dice

-It’s snake eyes!

-Hi Mu Qing

-Stick it to Jun Wu, Mu Qing

-I know right, it did NOT seem like a healing spell at all

-Wonder if I can conceptualize a similar healing potion for TOH MTC…?

-You just had to ask him that didn’t you?

-Hi Feng Xin

-A guest who invited himself inside

-Welp he really was honest

-Seriously, Mu Qing you couldn’t have felt bad for his house arrest

-Xie Lian’s trying to mediate again

-Mu Qing’s response had bite to it

-One Punch!!!

-Fist Fight!  Fist Fight!

-“You’re a hypocrite, you’ve always looked down on me, but you’re not better than I am!!!”  Oh my gods, Lucien Dodge freaking delivered!!!

-“Enough…” Oh man, Xie Lian’s emotions

-The Junior Officials witnessing the Generals fisticuffs:

Feng Xin!  Feng Xin!  Feng Xin!

Mu Qing!  Mu Qing!  Mu Qing!

-“Did it really have to come to violence?” Yeah it pretty much did. - Iroh, dragon of the West, the Waterbending scroll

-Mu Qing: Fine I’ll break your face

Feng Xin: Not if I break yours first!  It’s too late to beg for mercy!  

That’s what I translated to the best of my skills during Xie Lian’s internal monologue

-He’s like a parent that’s disappointed with his two kids constantly at odd

-Don’t worry, hon what’s really gonna help them is Couples’ therapy, and I’d hate to be that therapist

-A dramatic sound effect!

-I can’t wait to write the Gaang’s reaction to the Wraith Butterflies

-That was a cool shield spell

-I love how the butterflies are easily dodging Xie Lian, but are charging toward Mu Qing and Feng Xin to scare the sh*t outta them

-He’s gonna hold one of the butterflies, he’s holding one of the butterflies, yeah too late man AND HE’S NUZZLING THE WINGTIPS WITH HIS NOSE Cue keyboard smash! WAE TESDHGFYFJ. RYGJ GUFTDRSSDFAEGRRESVGTGTRS DFGSTRWG EIEEEIIIIIIIEEEEEE!!! I always love this joke, no matter how old it’s gonna get in my reaction posts.

-Yeah he’s just going

-The real reason this episode took so long to air last year was that the animators had to get the waist snatch scene past censorship to spite their censor companies for not having Xie Lian fall into Hua Cheng’s lap in Eps 4-5.

-Xie Lian: Hello Again, Literally me: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! (This is the same noise Eleanor Shellstrop made when she was gifted a Shrimp Dispenser in The Good Place)

-They’re just backing up

-You two had one job!  Looking at you Feng Xin and Mu Qing!  I see ya

-He’s just tugging his sleeve as they’re walking

-Man, it’s like Hua Cheng took Little John’s advice from Robin Hood 1973 to “Climb the palace walls.  *Tosses out Gross Carrot* Sweep him off his feet, carry him off in style.” - Little John, Disney Robin Hood (1973) (Best Disney film hands down, freaking fight me if you dare)

-That must’ve hurt his ears

-Y’all had one job

-Feng Xin is just worried

-*Hua Cheng has entered the chat*  Like a goat!

-The subtle eye contact and expression he shared with Xie Lian!

-Some of the 33 gods he defeated are also in the chat

-That shook the veils

-Won’t that be pain in his mind?

-Looks like he saved you yeah

-A flashback from Ep 5!

-Touchstarved!  Touchstarved!  (Try prying this headcanon from my cold dead grip!)

-And here you’re about to see Howard Wang’s best performance in the series so far

-Best apology I’ve ever heard in media

-It healed that fast

-Petition to have James Cheek voice an iconic lead character in a Shakespeare play?

-Aw, they were actually both at fault for what happened

-You can actually feel Hua Cheng’s Shame

-E Ming: Noooo…. You hurt him!  I hurt him!  We hurt him! AAAHHH!  *sobs*

Season 2 has fed us once more!  I’m still busy with writing the Scrap Immortal and the Avatar.  For writing inspiration, I’ll be busy rewatching Avatar:  The Last Airbender

[aemond-one-eyed]

But Daddy I Love Him

(A scene for the #conflictchallenge within @asongofgoldenfireandblackblood )

Aemond did not have many fears. He hadn’t been afraid when he claimed Vhagar. Hadn’t been afraid when the managled remains of his eye were pulled from his socket. Certainly didn’t have fear when he stole Blackfyre for himself. His Uncle Daemon though… he feared him, and his blood ran cold when a note appeared summoning him to meet the man in the dragonpit. Why did it have to be there? Was it an intimidation tactic? If so, it was working. He considers stalling on his ride to the pit but figures making Daemon impatient in addition to whatever anger he held was worse.

Once at the pit the dragonkeepers are no where to be found, just Daemon and Caraxes in the main area. The blood wyrm spots him before his Uncle does, the unusual looking beast letting out a whistle like growl that sends a chill down Aemond’s spine. Daemon turns to face him.

“Don’t mind him, he’s like you; blind in one eye, you came up on his bad side,” his uncle says as way of greeting as if his dragon wasn’t one of the most terrifying ones alive.

“I’m assuming you didn’t ask me here to go on a ride together, as Vhagar doesn’t even fit in the pit,”

“So they didn’t remove your brain when they took your eye? Could have fooled me with how you’ve behaved over the years,”

“You called me down here to insult me? Is Caraxes a test audience before you perform the full show in front of court?” he retorts and is met with a puff of smoke blown in his face.

“Insulting you is just a benefit I get from conversing with you, but no that isn’t the reason. My wife seems to believe in you for some unknown reason… and she doesn’t seem to be the only one who does. Isn’t that right?”

Aemond narrows his eye, trying to assess what Daemon knew. He can only assume word of his courting gift had made its way to Rhaena’s father as much as he had wanted to avoid that.

“Rhaena is a grown woman who can make her own decisions, and she accepted my gift and with it my intentions to court her. Gods know I probably don’t deserve the chance but she has granted it to me,” Aemond says, trying to stand straight and appear calmer than he felt.

“Yes, it is exactly those intentions I’m concerned about. You’ve never shown interest in any of the eligible ladies in court, except for now when you’re wanting for a position in the Queen’s council. Then you suddenly set your sights on the only eligible step daughter she raised as her own. As her father can’t you see my concern?”

“I didn’t expect it either to be honest… I was sent to work with her as punishment for my behavior towards Luke and instead found myself enjoying each day. I would actually look forward to my mornings with her and I don’t ever enjoy mornings,”

Daemon seems to consider this, head cocking to the side and hands resting on the pommel of Dark Sister, “if your intentions are pure as you seem to be claiming, why did I find you asleep next to her in her rooms,”

“I was attempting to guard her and the other ladies after her Grace was poisoned,”

“falling asleep on the job… excellent skills you have then,”

“Oh really? Well at least our clothing was on, everyone in King’s Landing knows the story of you being found in Rhaenyra’s bed causing her to be married off to Laenor—“ his sentence is cut off by Daemon’s hands gripping into the fabric of his tunic and Caraxes head moving so close he could feel the heat radiating off the dragon.

“I’ll suggest you hold your tongue before I find myself removing it,” Daemon sneers and Aemond can only gulp. Okay, maybe he had gone to far in his bravado.

“She is my daughter, I love all my children but my girls hold a special place in my heart. I will NOT see her heart be broken by a poppy addicted, eye patch wearing, sad excuse of a man,”

Aemond’s gaze casts downward before he looks back up to meet Daemon’s, “I’m cutting back on the poppy. I’m trying to be better… I want to be better FOR her,” he replies. His earnestness must come through in his voice because his Uncle’s eyes widen slightly, his hands releasing his tunic and smoothing out the fabric. He gives him a pat on the shoulder, “Keep trying then. Thats what matters, that’s all I needed to know. Ask the Maester for willow bark tea, will help you with your pain especially while you’re adjusting to taking normal doses of poppy,”

He nods his head, “I’ll do that, thank you,”

“Off you go now, before I change my mind and have you roasted,” Daemon says and Aemond nearly sprints out of the dragonpit and back to the Keep. Not the morning he had expected, but at least he had all his body parts still attached and his life intact.

[missveryvery]

Have you watched episode 1 of tgcf season two yet? 👀

Are you kidding. It's literally the only thing that's keeping me alive. Now my life is "hold out until Wednesday, buddy, we can do this."

I'm not sure but I think they fixed up the animation from the preview we got before (like a million years ago) of the scene where they're all assembling because I remember thinking "oh no they lost their budget" and now the scene looks like "here are a hundred gods we made look incredible just for the background"

(Still salty about Mu Qing's hair getting nerfed, make it bigger you cowards)

The part where Pei Ming is about to kick Pei Xiu came off as cartoony in the book but they made it really intense here! I guess because they're trying to hide his clown nose for as long as possible.

I feel very gratified that I was correct that the person we saw for a split second in the preview FROM BEHIND was in fact sqx and my brain worms have again served me well.

I think if I was watching this and had no idea what the story was, I'd think sqx was another love interest because holy shit. The way they shot Shi Qingxuan after transformation where her hair falls and her eyes are locked on him is from Xie Lian's POV, right? Three people have "hair that falls prettily" scenes in this and it's Hua Cheng, Xie Lian, and Shi Qingxuan.

Gif set by @murcielaguitos

They're really going "she's BEAUTIFUL" and you can get the impression that even Xie Lian thinks so. I love the way Shi Qingxuan is looking at him here and her cute smile ; ; like "see? :)"

This is the first time I realized how massive her boobs are. They're INSANE. I really like how Shi Qingxuan's other form is so different! I like to think the trans color scheme is on purpose but idk if they care about flag stuff in China? I don't want to like, push that on them.

In the book, there are a couple people Xie Lian remarks as being attractive, I think Shi Qingxuan is the only lady?

Also the shot earlier of Shi Qingxuan glancing at Xie Lian's chest like ":) I could put some ginormous bazoons there for you, friend"

(Lmao, He Xuan is so fucking stupid 😭 what kind of idiot...?!?? This could have been yours, you absolute clown.)

I was surprised they kept Lan Chang!!! Like wow you're gonna do that part, huh?!

The presentation of the mission's circumstanses also gave me a theory about why Shi Qingxuan was sent with Xie Lian on this specific mission...!

I saw someone talking about how lonely the opening of Xie Lian waking up seemed. But then he gets such a cute friend...! That's so similar to him! It's so nice to see him happy. I like to think that if Hua Cheng didn't exist and all that other background shit wasn't happening, Xie Lian's third go around might have been nice, Shi Qingxuan could have gotten him settled in, reconciled with the clown boys, etc.

The way he looks at Lang Qianqiu ;0;!! he's like "My baby ;0;"

Also losing my mind over this rando. I need to see what the uniforms for each god looks like or I'll die. Why was this dude so well designed and animated ;0;! I love him?!? So exasperated with his dumbass god ;0;

[elaichoi]

Bbbyyy my love my pookie coochie 😍🙈

Can I request a foodplay with your husband loyl Yeonjun?? I would be porever grateful to you ♡♡

jzjsjdjf THIS HAS BEEN ROTTING OH MU GOD I SORRY i was like gonna do a long fic on it and I ACTUALLY started it so it's coming but really wanted to write something quick too soooo here it is!!!

🎫 temperature play ( i used popsicles), food play, boob job, yeonjun obsessed with boobies!!!!!

yeonjun is fascinated with a lot of things about you; your eyes when they crinkle when you smile, your nose that scrunches up as you're about to sneeze and the gasps that leave your opened mouth when he holds his popsicle against your clothed tits.

his pants straining against his crotch as he focuses on the string gasps that leave you when he pressed it extra hard, or the way your body shakes beneath him—every so slightly trying to get away from him, but he still persists. addicted to the way your body squirms because of him as you try to close the gap between the two of you in your sham attempts of trying to make him believe you just want his cock on your clothed pussy. but yeonjun knows: he knows that you only want to alleviate the coldness from sensitive nipples.

but yeonjun hasn't had his fill yet, so he gleefully ignores your pleas and whimpers.

dragging you closer by your waist, yeonjun momentarily relieves you from the icy bondage but the frigid surge is soon replaced by the unbearable heat of yeonjun's mouth. his tongue swirling around your clothed buds without a hint of worry for the screech that has left your mouth almost immediately at the harsh contact—on the contrary it spurred him on, he pulled back momentarily to blow on the wet surface of your breast that had just been assaulted by such coldness.

the immediate overload of hot right after cold has justifiedly left your brain a scrambled mess—on top of the feeling of his tongue rubbing harshly against your buds—the texture of his tongue directly affecting your cunt that has been sopping wet for quite long now while his other hand does the same to your other bud—rolling and pinching them to his own whim and pleasure.

"yeonjun please," you whimper for the umpteenth time, no sense of reasoning behind your pleas. do you want more, or do you want him to stop? you don't know anymore.

thankfully, yeonjun still had the reigns over his emotions as soon as he pulled back from your chest— a string of saliva commenting your see through boob and his red, fucked out face. he almost looked so innocent laying there with your hands on the nap of his craned neck to support him as he looked up at your teary eyes. his back arched downward in order to be face level with your breasts.

maybe he was done toying with you. maybe he was gonna fuck you now.

but casting aside all your thoughts, yeonjun pushed your top up along your bra to reveal your bruised breast to him, etching an elated foxy grin on his plump, supple lips.

"you think I was done with my treat?" he teased pressing the rest of his popsicle onto your sullied breast, eliciting a loud moan from you, "next up is your cunt."

23' ITGIRLHUB.

[yallemagne]

Everyone: "Man, how does Van Helsing know so much about Dracula and vampires?? Must be a personal connection between him and the Count."

Me: *pulling my hair out trying to rewrite the September 30 meeting scene* "IF YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING READ HIS MONOLOGUE TWENTY TIMES OVER YOU WOULD KNOW HE KNEW NONE OF THIS INFORMATION PRIOR TO THE STORY."

Maybe not none. But. Let me just. Most of the shit he says is filler. "Let me tell you, it's gonna be fucking spooky" is what he says like fifty times over in twenty words or more each time.

"Alas! Had I known at the first what now I know—nay, had I even guess at him—one so precious life had been spared to many of us who did love her."

Van Helsing says that if he knew all the info he's about to dump on us about vampires, they could have saved Lucy. Meaning he didn't know jack shit. He most certainly didn't know who Dracula was.

"Even friend Jonathan, who lived with him for weeks, did never see him to eat, never! He throws no shadow; he make in the mirror no reflect, as again Jonathan observe. He has the strength of many of his hand—witness again Jonathan when he shut the door against the wolfs, and when he help him from the diligence too. He can transform himself to wolf, as we gather from the ship arrival in Whitby, when he tear open the dog; he can be as bat, as Madam Mina saw him on the window at Whitby, and as friend John saw him fly from this so near house, and as my friend Quincey saw him at the window of Miss Lucy. He can come in mist which he create—that noble ship's captain proved him of this; but, from what we know, the distance he can make this mist is limited, and it can only be round himself. He come on moonlight rays as elemental dust—as again Jonathan saw those sisters in the castle of Dracula. He become so small—we ourselves saw Miss Lucy, ere she was at peace, slip through a hairbreadth space at the tomb door."

Then finally he starts saying things that he may have already known since he cites no specific examples: night vision, requiring invitation, no power in the daytime, the sunrise and sunset bit, etc.. He does cite an example of what "unhallowed ground" vampires can enter uninvited, but that's just to illustrate his point. But then he talks about his friend Arminius.

"I have asked my friend Arminius, of Buda-Pesth University, to make his record; and, from all the means that are, he tell me of what he has been. He must, indeed, have been that Voivode Dracula who won his name against the Turk, over the great river on the very frontier of Turkey-land. If it be so, then was he no common man; for in that time, and for centuries after, he was spoken of as the cleverest and the most cunning, as well as the bravest of the sons of the 'land beyond the forest.' That mighty brain and that iron resolution went with him to his grave, and are even now arrayed against us. The Draculas were, says Arminius, a great and noble race, though now and again were scions who were held by their coevals to have had dealings with the Evil One. They learned his secrets in the Scholomance, amongst the mountains over Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as his due. In the records are such words as 'stregoica'—witch, 'ordog,' and 'pokol'—Satan and hell; and in one manuscript this very Dracula is spoken of as 'wampyr,' which we all understand too well."

Van Helsing is really just like me for real oh my god. He sounds like me after just having gone on a Wikipedia binge. He knew absolutely nothing about Dracula before, and he really wants to capitalize on all the new shit he just learned.

"We know from the inquiry of Jonathan that from the castle to Whitby came fifty boxes of earth, all of which were delivered at Carfax; we also know that at least some of these boxes have been removed. It seems to me, that our first step should be to ascertain whether all the rest remain in the house beyond that wall where we look to-day; or whether any more have been removed. If the latter, we must trace——"

*gunshots* Anyway.

More fucking fuel for the stop fucking painting him and Dracula as mortal enemies fire. He's literally just an old man who reads a lot, he's not a badass vampire hunter, Dracula didn't kill his gf or some shit, and he's probably never successfully dealt with a vampire before. Also, more ammo for my if you deny Jonathan's importance to the story one more time-- gun.