#oh my fucking god it’s varian holy shit

[ballad-of-the-eleventh]

FUCK YOU GUYS MIKA IS MY SON NOW

[thisblogisaboutabook]

Hello lovely!! Would you ever do a part 2 to Bad Idea right? Maybe the IC finds out about reader and Eris? 👀👀

I had planned for Part 1 to be a drabble only but I loved your ask so much that it’s going to be a short series now! I present to you, part 2. Thank you for this fun request!

Bad Idea, Right? - Part 2

Eris x Reader/Azriel’s Daughter

Sleeping with a male your dad hates is fun… until you get caught.

A follow up to the drabble “Bad Idea, Right?”

Part 3

Warnings: 18+ for sexual content, language

Holy mother and all the bullshit gods my ancestors prayed to, I’m so royally fucked.

A necklace. A damned necklace, and my family’s overall inability to mind their own business, sent everything spiraling.

Nobody paid any mind to the jewelry I chose for Starfall until Amren set her eyes on the unique amber and gold hued necklace dangling from my neck - coveting the thing. Its unique jewels apparently something she’d never seen in her over 15,000 years of living.

Lucien, who had come with Vassa, Jurian, and Helion in tow, of course, overheard the conversation. With his wealth of knowledge and abundant need to be the biggest know-it-all in the room, Lucien chimed in that the gems came from the Autumn Court, typically only worn by the leading family and their closest affiliates. His brows furrowed with contemplation as he waived a hand toward my décolletage asking, “Which makes me wonder, where did you come across this piece?”

Damn it, Lucien.

And damn it, Eris. Leave it the prick to give me a gift that’s as much of a pain in my ass as he is.

Reading the look on my face, Lucien and Vassa’s son, my childhood best friend, Adish cut in- “Oh, I uh, I gave it to her for her birthday a couple of years ago. I’m surprised you two forgot.”

Lucien and Vassa looked to eachother in contemplation, not totally buying it, but not pressing further.

I mouthed a “thank you” to Adish before Amren pulled me back in to inspect the piece further.

Naturally, Uncle Rhys had step in at that moment - reusing the same joke that I have heard a hundred times since I was a child - Amren is a firedrake who will snatch the necklace right off me blah, blah, blah.

“It really is a lovely piece.” Aunt Feyre joined in, my mother, Aunt Nesta, and father with her. The three sisters inspecting it closely.

Holy shit, have these people never seen a necklace before?

I could have sworn that one of my shadows rolled it’s not existent eyes in agreement.

“Where did you get that?” Dad asked. “Apparently I need to keep it in mind for your mother and aunts for Solstice.”

“Oh, um, it’s from the Autumn Court, Adish gave it to me two years ago for my birthday.” I replied, innocently tracing a finger along the gems as I gave a forced smile.

It was then that my all-to-observant, spymaster jr., little sneak of a sister made her presence known. “No he didn’t! Adish got you a scarf from the continent that year.”

How the hell did this little shit remember these things!?

“Whatever, Azalea, it must have been a different year then.”

“No sissy! He never bought you a necklace - he bought you a bracelet, and two pairs of earrings, but never a necklace.”

Good gods. This child.

Rolling my eyes at my snoop of a sister, I coolly replied “Whatever, Azzy, I suppose my memory isn’t quite as good as yours.” Silently praying to whoever would listen that nobody pressed further. Dad’s shadows agitated but settled when my own shadows wound over to mingle with them.

Amren gave me a suspicious look that could only mean trouble - but fortunately kept her mouth shut. As the remainder of the group dispersed to interact with the crowd, Amren grabbed my arm.

“Be careful, girl. I know better than to tell you what to do, just… keep your wits about you.”

Her intense eyes locked with mine to which I shrugged the comment off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I am not a fool, girl. I do not know you to be one either. Be careful.” the tiny fae chided as she sauntered off to find Varian.

Keeping a collected facade but needing some fresh air, I casually made my way toward a secluded balcony on the backside of the House of Wind.

Finally free of the crowd, I released all of the tension I’d been holding in, taking deep breaths in an effort of calming my nerves. I am an adult capable of making my own choices but… given the inner circles complicated history with Eris, and my fathers overall hatred of the male, I’d rather nobody know that we fuck each others brains out on occasion.

Frowning down at the necklace, I muttered curses to it that would make my mother, dear sweet Elain, keel over.

Too wrapped up in berating the jewelry, I didn’t notice the male behind me. I startled at the smooth voice cutting through the silence, his low tone dripping in lust. “Ah, little Shadowsinger, If you’d prefer a ring instead, I’m sure we could arrange that. Though I do say the necklace compliments your lovely assets quite well.” His eyes roved hungrily up and down my body, a primal gaze darkening those amber eyes and filled my core with heat. I nearly rolled my eyes back into my head as the intoxicating scent of mahogany and crackling fire filled my nostrils.

Regaining my wits and refusing to let him see how he effected me, I met those bedroom eyes with nothing but contempt. “Fuck off, Eris. Why are you here?”

He stepped closer. I stood my ground, no way was I going balk away from the challenge.

“Come now, little one, is that any way to speak to a High Lord? I was invited to the celebration tonight, as all of Prythian’s leaders were.”

Fair enough, but I wouldn’t let him win that easily. Waving him off, I commanded “Go find somewhere else to be a pain in the ass.”

Eris closed the distance, grabbing the wrist I had waived him away with. His head dipped down as his plush lips grazed the shell of my ear. His deep, sensual voice sent chills through me as he replied, “I can only promise pleasure when it comes to that beautiful ass, Y/N.”

Releasing my hand, Eris reached both hands around me, palms pressing into my ass as his fingers hitched my dress up to expose my thighs and barely clothed sex to the brisk evening air. In one swift motion he scooped me up, my legs instinctively wrapping around him. As his lips crashed into mine I bit the lower one just hard enough to draw blood before licking it away and kissing the hurt. His tongue then swooped into my mouth, battling for dominance against my own, a low growl escape his throat, reverberating through me.

Placing me on the balcony ledge, Eris situated himself between my spread legs, desperately palming at my breasts as I threw my head back, exposing the column of my throat to him. He lightly nipped down the length of my neck and my protruding collar bones before falling to his knees before me. His lust-filled eyes met mine as he cooed, “You could bring any male to their knees before your beauty, but this…” he pushed aside the lace thong, exposing me to him, “this gorgeous, dripping cunt belongs to your High Lord, and your High Lord only.”

His skilled tongue deftly swiped up my center, eliciting a moan from me. I looked down into his eyes - mesmerized by the amber hues peering at me from under his lashes. My fingers found purchase in his fiery red locks as I firmly stated, “I belong to no one and you are not my High Lord, Eris.”

His responding nip to my swollen clit drew a sharp gasp from me. Eris let out a satisfied hum in return as he resumed feasting like a starved male. Perhaps that’s what kept drawing me back into the bastards bed - his insatiable hunger fueled by that eagerness to please that only amplified with the calloused remarks I threw at him. Most females fell at his feet - throwing themselves at the chance to serve a High Lord. Whereas most males ran as far away as they could upon realizing that my father was the infamous Shadowsinger.

One of my shadows caressed the base of his neck, circling back around as to tilt his chin up. His needy eyes met mine again. “Fuck me, Eris.”

In an instant he was up, standing before me. Biting my lip, I clenched my thighs together at the sight of the incredibly evident arousal pressing against his trousers. He fumbled with the buckles on them, when suddenly a grating sound filled the air - the balcony doors flying open. “Sissy! Aunt Mor wants to see your neckl- oh wow, who is that!?”

Fuck me. This cannot be happening.

I jumped up, pulling my dress down before my little sister could see the exposed flesh.

I scrambled for words, voice cracking as I scolded, “She can wait, Azzy, just go back inside.”

It was too late though, as my father’s shadow that had been trailing her all evening had already reported back and before Eris or I could flee, my father, mother, Uncle Rhys, and Lucien winnowed onto the balcony.

————————————————-

Stay tuned for part three!

[number2hazbinblue]

Hazbin Hotel Thoughts: Episodes 5 & 6

I am watching the new episodes as I am typing this, so I will share some thoughts of mine that came during my viewing!

Spoilers!

Episode 05 -- Dad Beat Dad

Okay, first off, Niffty needs a handler. Thank you, Angel! Next, Lucifer and Lilith split? As in...divorced? ...Huh... Did it happen 7 seven years ago too?

So, Lucifer (voiced by Jeremy Jordan, who voiced Varian from the Tangled series) turns out to be just an awkward short king with a dash of depression. Literarily. And he makes/collects rubber duckies as a coping mechanism...I mean, there are worse coping mechanisms.

Clearly, Lucifer loves both Lilith and Charlie with all his heart.

Wait, he had no idea about Charlie's idea for the hotel?!

Lucifer is reminding me so much of Spirit Albarn from Soul Eater, just without the whole womanizer thing. He did not want to pass up a chance to spend time with his daughter.

Um...Al? Buddy? You okay? Why are you sneering at the king of Hell?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Razzle and Dazzle!!!!

Damn, Lu-Lu! You don't know Alastor? Either Lucifer really doesn't give a shit about the Overlords or he has been reallly out of it.

Seriously, what the hell is going on between Lucifer and Alastor? Like...Alastor is so damn hostile that he straight told the king of Hell to fuck himself. That type of language is what Al typically reserved for individuals he scathingly despises and, up til now, it was solely Vox.

Does it have anything to do with Lilith?

Is Lucifer feeling threatened that Alastor has taken over the father figure role in Charlie's life?

There have been so much unexpected twists and I love it!

And it's not even the halfway point yet!

Wait...is this why the episode is called Dad Beat Dad. It's freakin' Alastor and Lucifer duking it out.

Mimzy!!!! What is happening?!

Oh! So, Mimzy and Alastor did know each other in life!

"Big talk for someone who's also on a leash." -- Husk to Alastor.

...What?

Nevermind that now, yes! Go feral Alastor!

Aww...Lucifer just wants to protect his daughter...

This ballad is so damn beautiful...

And...Vaggie? Is it because you're a sinner or are the fallen angel theories true?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Episode 06 -- Welcome to Heaven

Hotel walls can't seem to take a break, lol.

And, hey hey! It's Cherri! And yes! She has an Australian accent! At least, I think its Australian. You'd think watching three seasons of Bluey (on loop, courtesy of my niece) would have me pick up the accent.

Heaven does seem alright. It kinda what I figured it be.

Emily is just precious!!

And I saw Molly, y'all! Angel's sister!!!

Wait...so, only the exorcists have knowledge of Hell's yearly extermination? ...Is it to prevent an uprising in Heaven too. I mean, there could be some residents who don't agree with this.

Sera is in a higher rank than Adam, I wager?

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Vaggie was an exorcist! Holy shit!!!

God, I hate Adam and Lute.

And Angel...this is the reason why you are best boi. And that's why Valentino wanted Angel to stay at the studio, because of the contract.

Jesus, Niffty is just plain unhinged!

Awwww...Cherri and Angel are still buddies! I was honestly gonna worry that the whole Angel staying at the hotel was gonna sour it. So glad it didn't.

Soooo...Vaggie's secrets out and Sera stubbornly says that there are no redeemable souls in Hell.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hope that Charlie and Vaggie will have a talk about that revelation and I wonder what does it really take to get into Heaven since (apparently) no one knows.

[cryptdaii]

Hi, your art is so cool and I love them so much! But now I'm also like, thinking about the futuristic au ITS SO COOL pls tell us more about this or literally any other au u have DHFJD

AWA THANK UU AND I WOULD LOVE TO

little more hugo background because i like thinkin about it

unlike most people, hugo is probably generally indifferent towards bots. while he isn't really empathetic towards them, he won't go out of his way to be aggressive towards one if it isn't necessary. any unmotivated harm he causes them is probs just orders from donnie (what's she doing with the parts?? um haven't gotten that far). otherwise, he just cops parts from bots who are already out of commission to make his shit. less trouble that way.

little about varian i GUESS. he's an abnormally advanced bot with top of the line tech. modeled it himself. however, he wasn't created as a bot. they're upgrades he's given himself. whether out of necessity or otherwise, who knows, but he's now unrecognizable as a human in any way because of it.

anywho back to varian + hugo first meet, where hugo is just lookin for parts. it probs goes something like this

"gods... this shit is high tech"

cue hugo attempting to dismantle var, who's currently the equivalent of ur computer in sleep mode. hugo's rummaging sparks varian awake

"tf- excuse you???"

"OH MY FUCVK HOLY FHSIT?????"

varian uses hugo's moment of shock to promptly shove him off and onto the ground, maybe a little too harshly

"bitchass"

var stumbles to his feet and runs off (more of a quick tumble out tbh, he's fucked up bad) before hugo can do anything more. hugo is left confused as hell but now extremely interested in varian

boom end scene

i migggghht write more like semi-literate scenes but this was kinda just a braindump but anyway ummm

THANK U FOR ASKING IM GLAD U GUYS ARE INTO THIS AHHHD <333

[karmautistic]

I'm bored as fuck drop your salt about v&tsk

Oh jeez... fandomwise or canonwise?

I don't think there's much I can say canonwise that hasn't already been said. All the characters of color are based off of vaguely racist stereotypes (I.E. Yong being the "Jinx Asian character") and stuff like that, all complaints of which I agree with.

But uh, oh man, fandomwise? Jesus where do I begin.

How about varigo interpretations?

I just think, imo, I've seen a lot of people portray them in a way that just... rubs me the wrong way as a gay man. I really hate the stereotype of "smaller guy is big pushover and so easily flustered and uwu shy" and then "bigger/taller guy is flirty and strongk and an asshole but its ok because its hot♡"

I actually don't see this as often as I thought I would, but im assuming that's because I tend to stick to people in my own friend circle for varigo content, but that doesn't mean I haven't ran into it.

Varian's not shy and he's not a pushover, like holy shit I can not emphasize the enough, if Hugo said any of the "uber hot flirty" lines half the people write Varian getting flustered by, he would have bodyslammed Hugo in 10 seconds flat.

There's just something so stupid about the idea of Hugo being an overly flirty guy who pushes boundaries and doesn't respect personal space or romantic advances and thats... thats supposed to be attractive? No.

I mean, I know most of the characters have vague personalities so there's not exact way to write them in-character except Varian. He is literally the most fleshed out from tangled the series and from what we've seen, he's clever, insightful, and oh my god he is stubborn. There is just no way in hell he'd lay down and take flirting from some random dude.

One thing I still don't get about people writing him as a push-over even after season three is... Yeah in season three, he was a damsel in distress a lot, but he... still had a lot of moments of sass... Did you. Guy's not. Watch the show?

Are you willfully ignoring character traits so it can be """sexy"""?

They tend to reduce Varian to a weird push-over which is. The opposite of his character. He's a sassy dude who may have a hard time turning people down do to maybe past situations,, he's still not going to lay down and let Hugo push him around.

People are very much too worried about what is "sexy" in mlm ships than what's healthy.

Also Varian literally spent so much of tts having trusts issues aeound his dad and raps and everyone and then unhealthy relationships of manipulation around the saporians. I just think he should have a healthy relationship with trust and communication and not just. "Mmm haha flirt sexy"

Also I just. CALL ME CRAZY but I think portraying all mlm as "hot flirty guy who pushes boundaries" and "person who finds being pushed around and abused sexy" is... bad. Like. Its just bad. Wtf yall.

Thats about it for varigo but one more thing that bugs me abt the fan base is like. People arguing over 7k being Canon or not.

Like. People get excited and thats fine but then there's people who are like... idk I don't wanna be mad at them bc I know they're trying to help and like. Tell people not to get their hopes up, but I promise saying "its probably not gonna happen" doesn't. Do anything. It just seems kinda mean tbh.

Like yeah idk maybe its not maybe it is happening idc at this point, let people be happy with their own things and if it ends up not being canon they can find out on their own. Like who cares just leave it alone idk lol.

Kind also ties into a lot of tts fans that dislike complaining abt 7k posts showing up in the tts tag... like. Just. Mute 7k or vat7k or whatever???? There is a mute button on tumblr dot com you can use it. I promise you will not die of annoyance because tumblr use Hugospubichair69420 posted another varigo drawing in the tts tag. If its not depicting abusive or legitimately harmful content then like. Keep scrolling.

Idk sorry my brain scrampled egg and I could word this more eloquently if I tried but I wont.♡

[fletchphoenix]

Sweet As Sugar, Right As Rain

Chapter 3 of the Varigo Coffee Shop AU! Yay! Thanks so much for all the support I’ve been receiving on this fic, I’ve enjoyed writing it so so much! It’s just been amazing (considering this is my first time EVER writing a fic so aha, I really appreciate the support!) Enjoy! <3

Word Count : 3809

TW - Strong Language

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  Sunlight beamed through the windows, the rays penetrating the temporary shield of his curtains and straight into his eyes. Hugo let out a loud groan and raised his arm to shield his eyes from the blinding light, however his attempts were futile. He resorted to pulling the emerald sheets over his head with a groan. Birds outside had other plans however, singing and tweeting right outside his goddamn window to ensure he couldn’t go back to sleep. Hugo shoved the sheets back in frustration, kicking them off him and letting them fall into a bundle on the floor. “Note to self. Buy some shutters.” he muttered, propping himself up on his elbows and reaching out for his glasses on the bedside table. 

  As everything came into focus, he took a second to look into the mirror. “Holy fucking shit.” he complained. Blonde locks jutted out in every direction imaginable, sticking up unnaturally. “Okay then. Shower time.” he said to no one in particular, shuffling off his bed as it made a painfully loud creak once his weight left it. Squeaking and shuffling sounded from the cage across his room, catching his attention, and he glanced over. A smile quickly took over his face.

  “Olivia! Hey there girl.” he jogged over, sitting at his desk and opening the top drawer of his desk to take out a packet of sunflower seeds. He tipped a few out of the packet, examining them in his hand before placing them in the cage in front of her. She inhaled the seeds, chittering and scurrying around in the cage happily after her breakfast with an energy unlike any other he’d seen before.

  “Yeah, yeah. I get it. You’re excited. But I’ve gotta go get ready, sweetheart.” he muttered, moving to stand. He gave in to his urges at her pouty face (could mice even pout? He’d have to google it later) before reaching into her cage with his finger and running a finger over her smooth, golden fur. “Okay, NOW I’ve gotta go.” he told the mouse sternly, pushing the chair away from the desk and moving to his feet. Arms made their way above his head in a long stretch as he made his way through the tiny apartment to his bathroom. 

  He should be grateful, he thought, that Donella was kind enough to let him live alone, but god, this place was less than satisfactory. The window panes were cracked in their frames and never really shut properly - making winters like these with their incessant flurries of snow the worst in the world. Banging and screaming always sounded from above him, with his neighbours being possibly the most dysfunctional couple in the history of romance. The walls were paper thin too - he could hear whenever his frat-boy next door neighbour bought a girl round, dreading whenever he did, and he wasn’t even allowed to keep any real pets! It took MANY hours of seducing the landlord to be allowed to keep Olivia in the apartment with him. And don’t even get him started on the rip-off rent costs. Alas, it was home and he couldn’t bear to live with Donella again. She was a great woman, taking him in when he was young and supporting him, but she was terrible when it came to motherly duties and..it was pointless to expect that from her. 

  The bathroom wasn’t much to brag about, either. A lime mat covered most of the tiled floor with a heater barely peeking out under the mass of towels placed carelessly on top of it. Reaching out, he turned the handle and let the water run, so it could heat up gradually. He tapped his foot as we waited, checking his phone. 11:15am. Why did it feel like he was forgetting something? It was probably something Donella told him to do. She did that sometimes - springing plans onto him out of nowhere. As if he didn’t have a social life at all. So inconsiderate, he mumbled to himself. It didn’t matter anyway, the shower water already at the right temperature. He stripped out of his pyjamas and hopped in.

  After his shower, Hugo finished drying his hair, tied it up and quietly changed into a light yellow shirt, blue jeans and his signature green jacket. He loved that jacket dearly, it being one of the first gifts Donella ever got him that wasn’t second-hand. (“Your clothes look ratty,” she’d said, trying to suppress her soft smile with a hardened expression. “I got you new ones. Maybe now you’ll look even slightly presentable.”) At least she was trying, he’d told himself as he started to fix his hair in the mirror. 

  Once he was fully satisfied, he set his course for the kitchen. In the hall, he passed various framed posters on the walls along with newspapers and small sticky notes with his engineering questions noted down on them. (All green, of course, because what was he, a monster? He had an aesthetic to uphold and he was determined to do so, goddamnit!). Shelves also littered the wall - containing various books on topics like engineering, chemistry, biology and physics. Donella had given him them too, so he had something to read growing up and to entertain himself while she was away on her business trips with her friend, Ulla. Sure, she’d be gone weeks at a time, leaving Hugo with Cyrus to be taken care of, but at least he had someone there to take care of him.

  He trailed his hand to the doorknob and twisted it, pushing the door open and walking into the room. It was slightly bigger than the other rooms in the apartment - counters along the walls with a small table in the middle. A clock sat on the wall as well. 12:26pm. Why did it still feel like he was forgetting something? A string of curses left his mouth after he, in his distracted state, stubbed his toe on the chair, “Motherfucker! Ow!” he cried out and hopped awkwardly to the coffee machine which was, not surprisingly at all, fern green. 

  Hugo let the machine do its thing, taking the cup of absolute joy after it was done and adding some sugar. Black coffee was his saviour on a morning - especially after he’d had a party the night before. The bitter taste flooded his mouth and tickled his nose, him letting out a content sigh of happiness. This was it. The freedom he’d always wanted. He let the serenity of the moment relax the tension in his shoulders and allowed himself a moment where he could just be alone. 

  The moment was broken by a bleep on his phone.

  “For fuck’s sake..” Hugo muttered as he checked the time again. 12:47pm. Shit, had it really been that long? Oh well..not as if he had anything to do today. His eyes scanned over the text he had received. 

Cyrus : Hey bud. Have a good time on your date today. Remember - Donella needs you at the workshop by 17:00. Don’t be late.

  Shit.

  He’d forgotten. How had he forgotten he was meeting up with Varian? He was such an idiot! He’d scored a date with the most handsome boy on the planet and somehow he’d forgotten! In his panic, Hugo tipped the coffee down the sink and rushed to the door...stubbing his toe again and slipping over. “FUCKING CHAIR!” he yelled and scrambled to his feet, scurrying and sitting on a step to lace up his shoe. His wallet and keys sat on the table by the door, his hand hurriedly scooping them up, shoving them into his pocket and racing out the door.

  Lungs gasped for air and burned as he sprinted down the street, dodging people on his journey to the coffee shop. The sun shining in the sky was deceiving, the bitter winter air biting at the back of his neck. He should’ve bought a scarf. It was too goddamn cold out here - the December airs howling past his ears. He should’ve bought his headphones too. Oh god, he hoped Varian hadn’t bailed on him. 

  He fell through the doorway, gulping at the stares he received as he made his way through the people in the shop in search of one boy in particular with the beautiful blue streak in his raven hair. He stuttered apologies before his eyes found what he was looking for. Making his way over, he began to apologise. “Hey hairstripe, sorry I’m late. I was-”. His words died out as he made his way closer.

  There, in the same booth as before, sat perfection in its finest form. Varian. His azure eyes were focused outside, gazing and half lidded but looking at nothing in particular. His ebony hair blew slightly in the slight breeze created by the fan in the shop, with the blue streaks sticking out against it. Freckled skin had a slight shine to it from the sun’s rays that provided perfect lighting and bringing out his soft features. His cyan sweater complimented the rest of his outfit, the headphones hanging around his neck matching the colour of his sneakers. It was like a movie scene - absolutely perfect. His mouth felt dry as the boy turned his head and gave him an excited smile and Hugo could swear he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of it. 

  “Hugh! Hey!” Varian said, waving his hand and watching Hugo as he moved to sit in the booth opposite him. “It’s fine, you don’t need to apologise. I got here early anyway so I was just listening to some music.” he added onto the end, leaning against the table with a grin on his face. “Love the jacket by the way, really compliments the shirt.” 

  “I-thank you. I could say the same for you though. That sweater really brings out your eyes. And your hair.” he reached out his hand, running the strands between his fingers before pulling his hand away. He let out a chuckle at the sight of Varian’s flushed face, eyes fixated on the younger male as he tucked his hair behind his ear and fiddled with the hem of his shirt stuttering out explanations. “Hairstripe, calm down. It’s just a compliment. Anyway, what do you want? The drink is on me.” 

  “Oh, um -a vanilla latte again. Please.”

  “Don’t miss me too much.” he grinned with a smug expression, laughing when Varian pushed him playfully before walking off to order. He let out a content sigh and glanced back at Varian as he ordered their drinks. The boy in question was playing with his hair as he read a chemistry textbook that he must’ve placed on the table when he left. He looked so beautiful, just sitting there without a care in the world. Hugo could just watch him forever, a red tint starting to build on the tips of his ears and cheeks as he realised just how long he’d been staring. He tore his eyes away from the breathtaking boy near the window and brought his attention back to the barista.

  “Vanilla latte and black coffee for Hugo?” the chestnut haired girl questioned, placing the drinks on the side and allowing Hugo to pick them up. He nodded graciously, flashing her a smile before returning to his seat. Leaving a $5 tip in the jar on the way, he sauntered back to the table with the drinks in hand and a smile on his face. 

  “Lord Varian, your drink has been served by your humble servant. I am forever in your debt.” he laughed and sat down opposite the boy again as he pulled his drink close to his chest and took a sip. Hugo looked out of the window with a smile, eyeing the people walking past in the freezing weather, holding hands with their loved ones and cuddling them close to ward back the December breeze. He wished he could do that with a certain obsidian haired boy sitting across from him reading a chemistry textbook like the adorable nerd he was. “So. How’s your week been? I saw you were in the library yesterday. You did look great by the way.” He smirked and winked in his direction.

  “Oh! It's been fine, Hugh. I do tutoring with Nuru on Wednesdays. We look after the sweetest boy in the world called Yong. He’s seriously the smartest kid I’ve ever met, but he gets so nervous to show it, y’know? And Nuru...god, she’s an amazing girl! Intelligent, yes, but just so mature and caring towards everyone! She’s a sweetheart really. How about you? Why were you there yesterday?” Varian asked quizzically, giving Hugo a little head tilt that made his heart soar. Fuck, he loved this boy. 

  “Me? Oh well, I was just picking up some books and doing some studying. I have an essay due in a few weeks and I just needed to look up some things.” he lied through his teeth. It was TOTALLY not because he wanted to see the other teen again before their date. Nope. No way. Nuh-uh. 

  “If you want me to, I could help you with your-”

  “NO!” He yelled out, leaning forward against the table before flushing red and moving back into his seat, composing himself and tapping his leg rapidly to calm himself down. “I’m sorry, I uh-I think I’ll be fine on my own. Thanks for the offer though.” he chuckled awkwardly, letting out an exasperated sigh. “Sorry...I’m just really awkward.” he apologised, sliding back in his chair and covering his face with his hands. Great. Perfect. Absolutely swell. He’s just embarrassed himself in front of the boy of his dreams like an absolute idiot. If whatever god there was could just strike him dead right now, that would be fan-fucking-tastic-

  A giggle followed by laughter and snorts broke him out of his spiral of self hatred. Varian’s hands wrapped around his wrists and gently lowered them, the most loving smile Hugo had ever seen plastered on his face as he dealt with the aftershocks of his laughing fit. “It’s okay. It was cute.” the boy commented, Hugo’s face twisting into a smile as well before joining him in his fit of laughter. 

  They must’ve looked like a strange pair - two boys laughing so hard they were in tears at a coffee shop in the middle of December, but neither of them cared. They were happy and that was all that mattered. Both took a sip from their coffees as they kept their eyes locked on each other. “Yep.” Varian thought, “Coffee does taste better when I’m drinking it with Hugo.” he concluded. He shuffled over in his booth, allowing Hugo to slide in beside him and look at the textbook to help with his questions. 

  Hugo tried his hardest to ignore how close Varian was, but after a few hours it became harder and harder to focus, with their shoulders pressed against each other and leaning forward with their eyes fixated on the book. A deep red flush developed on his cheeks yet again. Any closer and they’d be…Hugo tried not to focus on that, his gaze directing to Varian’s hand. He slowly and shakily took the younger’s hand in his own.

  Hugo turned his head to look at Varian, the younger boy coincidentally doing the same thing at the same time. Their noses almost touched, but both of them were too lost in the moment to bother pointing out the awkwardness of the situation, with Hugo intertwining their fingers under the table. “Hugo?” the younger whispered. Hugo could feel the tantalizing breath on his lips, intermingling with his own. Just a little closer. He tilted his head, leaning in and..

 His phone rang.

  Hugo snapped back to reality and moved away from Varian, letting go of his hand, much to both boy’s disappointment, and picked up his phone to answer it. “Hello?”

  “Hugo.” Donella’s rough voice replied, and boy howdy, did she sound pissed off. He was in trouble for sure this time. “It's 5pm. Where the hell are you.” she growled through the phone.

  “Shit, Donella I’m sorry. I forgot all about the time. I’ll start heading over now, I promise-”

  “Hurry up then.” she commented before hanging up, leaving no time for discussion. Hugo turned to see Varian - the hurt on his face wounding Hugo’s heart. A kicked puppy would probably look less hurt than the boy did in that moment. And he put that look on his face. He really was the worst wasn’t he? 

  “Hey-write down your address. I’ll pick you up at 5 next Thursday-” he began to say, Varian’s face twisting in confusion before grabbing a napkin and handing it to Hugo. “Alright, I’m sorry to cut this short.” he sighed and gathered his things together. Hugo turned to leave, before he felt a hand grab his wrist and a kiss was placed on his cheek. 

  “Thank you.” Varian looked at the floor, his face flushed red however a smile was still evident on it. Hugo’s mouth felt dry yet again as he froze for a second, a now all too familiar heat covering his face. He nodded in response and headed out the store, where he immediately leant against the wall and placed a hand on his cheek. 

  “Holy fucking shit..” he whispered to himself. “I’m in love with Varian Ruddiger.” He let himself get lost in the moment before another bleep reminded him of where he had to be. Shit. He started sprinting down the street, his path illuminated by streetlights as he passed them with a smile on his face. Well…

Next week was gonna be interesting.

  He opened the door to the workshop Donella ran, passing her henchmen as if they weren’t threatening at all. They fixed their glares onto him - okay yep, he was definitely in trouble for being late. He pushed open the doors, putting on his smug facade as he made his way to Donella’s desk. “Hey Donella, I’m here.” he declared, placing his hands on the desk and leaning against it. “You needed me?”

  “Yes, I did.” she frowned at him and gave him her infamous death stare. He cowered back slightly before regaining his composure again. “I trust this won’t happen again..?” she questioned, a slight smile tugging on her lips at the frantic nod he gave. “Good. Now get to work. We have an important client who requested specifically for you to make his product so..get to it.” 

  He hurriedly left her office, heading to his workspace and pulling on his goggles and gloves. Sheesh, that woman could seem evil sometimes - he bet in her past life, she was probably a supervillain. Maybe in an alternate universe, she was. He let out a breathy chuckle, glancing over the blueprints. Hm. Looked difficult, but he could do it. He set the paper aside and began to work, the incident from the coffee shop still playing on his mind. 

He couldn’t wait to see Varian again.

  Meanwhile, Varian packed his things again and began his walk home. Was Hugo about to...kiss him? Did he seriously feel the same as he did? It made him feel giddy just thinking about the way Hugo’s cold hands felt against his warm ones, the closeness that made his heart pound and ache for more contact, the way Hugo leaned in and tilted his head...wow. Hugo liked him. And he liked Hugo. 

  He pushed open his door and, once again, fed Ruddiger before heading up to his room. The cat purred gratefully and ate before following his master, lounging across his bed as if he owned the place. The audacity of the fat bastard! “Sometimes I wonder why I feed you.” Varian wondered aloud, grinning as the cat meowed back and swatted V’s hand as he tried to pet him. “Ow! Okay! Geez, I get it!” he laughed before reaching over and grabbing his phone to see some texts from Hugo.

Hugo : Sorry for leaving so early, short stuff

Hugo : My mom needed me for something and I completely forgot

Hugo : But hey, next week you’ll have me all to yourself ;)))

  Varian scoffed and looked at Ruddiger, who he swore had a disgusted expression as he read the phone screen. “I know Ruddiger. Absolutely disgraceful, isn’t it?” He chuckled, but..deep down he knew he wasn’t opposed to the idea of having Hugo all to himself...He shut that idea down fast, typing out a sarcastic response as he tried (and massively failed) to feign annoyance.

Varian : You wish I’d want that, you twerp

Hugo : Oh I don’t wish, I know ;)

Hugo : also, V? 

Varian : What is it now, Hugh?

Hugo : Thanks for the kiss. Didn’t get the chance to say that earlier but..thanks

Hugo : Anyway, I’ve gotta go. Mom wants me.

Hugo : See you next week, sweetie <3

Varian : No problem, Hugo. See you next week =)

  Varian set his phone aside and sat up. He completely forgot. He kissed Hugo’s cheek. Oh god, please don’t make it awkward, he internally begged. He didn’t want things to become weird between them. He really...really liked Hugo and just didn’t wanna mess this one up. He changed into his PJ’s and shuffled under the covers, reading through their conversations.

  “Goodnight Ruddiger..” he muttered as he turned off the lights and closed his eyes, trying to drift off to sleep. He sighed in frustration and brought out his phone, turning it on quietly and typing out 3 words. 

Varian : I Love You

  His lips twitched into a frown as he stared at those 3 words. They held so much weight - had the power to change the course of his and Hugo’s relationship as soon as he sent them. He thought back to their meeting. Was he just being friendly? Did he just get distracted? Did Hugo actually like him? A hand reached up to run through his hair. What if he was just misreading the signs? 

  What if Hugo found out? What if he found out about all the terrible things Hugo had done? The people he hurt? How badly he messed up? Varian bit his lip so harshly the metallic taste of blood flooded into his mouth. Hugo would never love someone like that. Someone who did everything that he did. Tears he didn’t even know had developed fell onto his phone screen, to his surprise. He quietly set it down and wiped his eyes. Not tonight, he thought.

  Varian held his finger down, erasing the text and setting his phone aside. He tucked his knees into his chest and looked at the wall. He had to tell him one day. Not now, but one day. He slowly started to drift to sleep, the thought of their date still fresh in his mind and the remnants of a smile on his face.

[takaraphoenix]

So... Why do you think Tangled the series is crap?

*blinks surprised* Well, this was defininitely not what I expected in my inbox this morning. Okay. xD

EDIT: So answer under the cut. If you still end up reading it and don’t want to hear criticism of the show, I really don’t know what to tell you…

1. Eugene/Rapunzel

What really didn’t do it any favors was the fact that before I started watching Tang/ed, I had just finished watching Tarzan the animated series for the first time. And, I’ve gone on a lengthy praise-rant about that one but the sum of it is that Tarzan is a beautiful portrayal of a healthy relationship and its growth.

Tang/ed flat-out forgot Eugene existed for the majority of season 1. Like. He was there. Occasionally. More in the background. Showing up after the adventures. And even when he was prominently featured, he didn’t get any romantic scenes with Rapunzel. They severely cut back on the Eugene/Rapunzel interactions in season 1.

Most of Rapunzel’s screentime was spent with New BFFOC #1, while most of Eugene’s screentime was spent with New BFF OC #2.

And I love Eugene/Rapunzel, I love their tenderness and how they got together in the first movie. I had expected a Tarzan level of romantic growth, development and focus on their romance. I mean, seriously, the whole movie had little going on that could have been continued, what with the hair cut and the witch gone, there was only “Rapunzel gets to reunite with her family and her and Eugene’s relationship gets to grow and develop while Rapunzel learns what it means to be a princess”.

Holy shit would I have loved a TV show with that premise and focus.

Instead, they sidelined Eugene for most of season 1 in favor of focusing on the new OCs - and yes, I admit, the Eugene/Rapunzel got better and got more screentime and actual development in season 2, but that’s… a whole-ass season too late in my opinion.

The Eugene/Rapunzel dynamic was what carried Tang/ed the movie, but the show put Eugene on the backburner to focus on its new shiny things. He should have been right there, at her side, every step of the way, not her sneaking off with only Cassandra all the time. He should have been her rock, her number one fan and supporter.

2. The Parents

Rapunzel’s parents? The freaking trauma of the whole thing? The loving reunion, the bonding time? Barely there and even then it sets in relatively late and very much only in between. This should have been one of the main angles of this show; after so many years, a whole life-time in fact, they are reunited with their daughter, now it’s time she learns what you love and what you’re like and you learn what she loves and what she’s like, you get to show her her kingdom and tell her about her family. It does however end up more like the… D story of the cartoon, really.

Half the time, they just Exist. And most of the times that they are prominently featured, it’s for dad to somehow royally screw up, really… Which only made me sadder, because I usually love Disney Dads. Like, Disney creates beautiful dads. Instead, this show continued making him mess up.

The missed opportunity for bonding time, real bonding time, in actual character arcs, not just in throwaway episodes maybe every now and again, is just… so infinitely sad to me as someone who loves a good family dynamic and who, looking at a movie that literally was about “long-lost daughter is reunited with her parents”, absolutely expected that to be in the focus somewhere, not in the background.

3. The OCs

In number 1, I already mentioned New BFF OC #1 and New BFF OC #2, so lets give them names and let’s also dive into them.

I love Lance Strongbow. He is genuinely the one thing about this cartoon that I absolutely adore. He’s the type of personality Eugene absolutely would have gotten into trouble with as a kid. Their dynamic is so well-captured and he’s a delight.

My problem is Cassandra. I really hate that character, hated her even before the reveal that ultimately made me drop the show.

Look. Rapunzel is this incredibly positive sunshine girl. And they… gave her a pessimistic, sarcastic, snarky best friend. That’s a really hard clash and it can work brilliantly, or it fails. In this case, it fails, because Cassandra constantly channels her sarcastic snark into mean comments and insults aimed at Eugene.

Who, the actual ever-loving fuck, would stand for that?

Who would let this new chick just constantly insult your partner, stab at your partner with words, put your partner down, and then decide “Yes. You are my New Best Friend!”. If someone would treat my girlfriend, who is absolutely amazing and whom I adore, the way Cassandra treats Eugene? I would definitely not befriend that person, what the fuck.

And that’s not taken into consideration Cassandra’s side of things. She seemed to think of Rapunzel as her best friend, but she still had to constantly vocally insult Rapunzel’s boyfriend. Who does that? You don’t like him, okay fine, shut up about it though, no reason to always be extra mean to him, especially not while Rapunzel is right there to hear you.

It’s just… I get it, I get when you don’t like your friend’s partner. But… Cassandra has no actual reason to be that way with Eugene? He literally never did anything to her. He saved Rapunzel, he was ready to die to save Rapunzel, way before Cassandra even knew Rapunzel. If anything, he should have her respect, but at the very least he should have the benefit of the doubt.

I don’t like this unfounded hostility toward Eugene and I don’t like how Rapunzel just smiles and ignores it and never calls Cassandra out on it.

And then the point where I stopped watching the show. When Cassandra, who is supposed to be Rapunzel’s best friend, betrays her because of Gothel. Because of course it’s revealed that she’s Gothel’s daughter - they really had to retcon her into being Gothel’s daughter, they really had to do that cheap dump trick, never mind who would have slept with her, when, oh how convenient that her kid is Exactly The Same Age as Rapunzel despite Gothel being literal centuries old, and like fuck that woman would have raised a child on her own like that, the only reason she tolerated Rapunzel was because of her powers. But no, now Gothel had a secret toddler before stealing Rapunzel and instead of ever, at any point, getting her daughter back, she just traded her for superpowered Rapunzel. Which is just such bullshit writing and so cheap and cringey, but to then make Cassandra, who was supposed to be Rapunzel’s best friend and who knew of the abuse, who knew of the trauma that Rapunzel had suffered at the hands of Gothel, betray Rapunzel because “mommy liked you more!” was just… the ultimate Fuck You to me, personally.

And while we’re at OCs and cringey bullshit writing - they really had to retcon Eugene into being A Prince All Along. And not just… any prince, no, no, since she is the sun and her kingdom watched over the sun drop, he is the moon and his kingdom watched over the moon drop and isn’t that super poetic? But that’s beside the point, that comes later, for now just the fact that they couldn’t even let Eugene stand on his own either, they had to also retcon him.

That’s like if the Aladdin show had decided to introduce the sultan of the neighboring kingdom and oh no wait he’s Al’s father now, Aladdin was a prince all along after all actually! No, that show at least kept Al’s suddenly alive father also a streetrat and thief.

That’s what Tang/ed should have done, if they had to retcon Eugene out of orphanhood. Make his dad a supposedly Big Bad and thief until at the season finale it is revealed that they’re father and son and dad maybe never even knew Eugene existed or whatever.

But to make him a prince just like that and have Eugene act so… nonchalant about it all and take it all in such stride, after all these years… it was bullshit.

Also, before we get into the big issue (because yes, so far, this was the small stuff that bothered me), let’s talk about Varian. Man was that a heap of bullshit too. Cute adorable kid who could have become an ally… had to… turn Angry And Bitter and feel betrayed by sunshine protagonist because something happened that was absolutely out of sunshine protagonist’s control. I hate that plot-tool so incredibly much. And then he’s just… redeemed and immediately forgiven and All Is Good. Pff.

4. The Moon

Fuck this. Fuck this. Fuuuck thiiis.

Gods, I can’t put into words how much I loathe the fact that they took “so she had a sun drop, right? Let’s now add–A MOON DROP! *gasps*”… It’s so stupid, it’s so stupid, it’s so stupid.

And badly handled, man.

The contradictory powers would have been cool. The moon drop as the shadow side to her could have had like… potential. But what they did with it? With the weird black stones, with the weird sudden black hair (why in the world would the moon incantation work on her, she is literally the sun drop and has no attachment to the moon drop). Why would the moon drop black stones cause her magic hair to grow back, that was bullshit too.

Like, yeah, the whole hair thing is questionable at best in the movie already, I know - why would cutting it have an effect on the magic, since the magic is inside of her, that was nonsense.

But that it now just… grows back. And like. the full length. For no reason. Not that she just turns blonde again and her hair grows back the normal way, nope. Sudden 10 meter of hair. Because… I mean, you can’t make a Rapunzel show without Rapunzel’s classic long hair, I guess.

That whole sun and moon thing was so… stupid, yeah, and badly handled and executed because the powers just make no sense and the cause and effect there are just so weird. It was very much just “it does whatever the plot requires it to do” and I hate that kind of writing, I prefer set rules within the magic that make sense.

Also, watching this parallel to Elena of Avalor, who also had a sun and moon balance plotline and handled that on a way more evened out playing field? Yeah, that only made Tang/ed look even worse.

5. The Animation

We’re taking the part where I personally think the art style is ugly as fuck out of the equation here, because I know that’d be an unfair point and that others find that style… pretty… for some reason.

The main problem here is more that good gods do I miss 2D movies when I have to sit through these kind of tie-in shows. Because back in the day, a tie-in show actually tied into the movie, in art and animation style too.

I hate that style-break, it’s dumb. It’s dumb on Big Hero 6 too.

Seriously. You’re Disney, you have the freaking budget nowadays, if you make a TV tie in for a movie, at least try to find an animation style that is vaguely in line with the movie…

Like, the argument that 3D animation would be more expensive - or, you know, more easily looks cheap as fuck - doesn’t even count if you consider that this is DISNEY. I’m serious, look over at DreamWorks.

Sure, sure, many were bothered with the cheaper animation of the How to Train Your Dragon series, but it was at least 100% in line with the movie and let’s be real you can’t expect the same animation budget for a show like you got for a movie and that was always the case. But it was close enough.

They could have done this for Tang/ed. Especially considering it’s Disney and they literally have all of the money.

I mean, again, look at DreamWorks - Trollhunters may just be the prettiest 3D animated series out there. That looks gorgeous, in animation.

There’s no reason why Disney can’t do that, can’t put that much effort into its tie-ins of its 3D movies. No reason at all.

Instead, they went with what I assume is a cheaper way of animation and just a huge fuck you to the gazillionaire corporation that has the budget to book its movie stars into whole-ass MCU tie-in shows and would have the budget to fully animate a Tang/ed show in the same quality level as the movie if they wanted (and I’m not even asking for that, really).

It’s cheap. It looks cheap. It’s a jarring clash with the original movie and if you make a tie-in for a movie there should be no clash between the two.

–

Well, there you go. The five reasons why I personally think this show is crap.

I was really excited for a tie-in to this movie and I had really low expectation - like, literally I just wanted to see Eugene/Rapunzel be cute and Rapunzel bond with her parents, that was literally all I expected. And I only got half-assed attempts on both of those, while the focus got completely derailed by a newly added OC and a whacky, very forced plotline.

[princesstadashi]

My Liveblog Emotions of Tangled the Series S3E1

...Okay so I know there are theories that the baby Cass memories are fake, but if they aren't, FUCK GOTHEL EVEN MORE SHE IS FUCKING SCUM HOLY FREAKING SHIT HOW DARE SHE HURT BABY CASS LIKE THAT!!!!!!!! 

AND CASS'S DAD IS A FREAKING ANGEL TAKING HER IN.

But also Cass being jealous of Rapunzel is kinda fucked up, like Rapunzel was being abused too, not loved, so be angry at Gothel, not Rapunzel!!!

PRETTY SONG!!! HEARTBREAKING BUT PRETTY!

OWWWWWWWWWWW. I'm crying a bit. 

OH MY GOD. IT'S ULF IN A BALLOON!!! 

Lance, sweetie, just... Just stop with Adira please, she's really not into you that way ^^; ...Or any way.

Aaaaaaaand that fucker Andrew is back. Jeez, what a dick -_-

IT'S MY BABY!!!! BUT NO HE'S STILL ACTING EVIL!!!!!!!!!!

Oh but he's still adorable even so...

Ohhhh, he's conflicted...

Xavier to the rescue!!

DAMMIT RAPUNZEL DON'T RUN OFF ON YOUR OWN.

OH NO POOR BABY HE'S BEEN LIVING IN GUILT!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I'm sorry I'm soft for my boy, okay???)

FUCK ANDREW OVER A ROCK HE IS A COMPLETE AND TOTAL DICK.

FUCKING BATH BOMB. VARIAN YOU CUTIE AT LEAST YOU TRIED XD

HE JUST WANTED TO BE FRIENDS AGAIN AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

EUGENE!!!!

SHE KEEPING HER PROMISE!!!!!

VARIAN GOT HIS DAD BACK!!!!!!!!

THE NEW OUTFITS ARE SO FUCKING PRETTY HOLY SHIT.

What is it with Max and losing important jewelry?? XD

THE LITTLE BRAIDING GIRLS FROM THE MOVIE MADE AN APPEARANCE!!!

HEALTHY EUGENE AND RAPUNZEL COMMUNICATION! ...BUT WAIT ARE THE KING AND QUEEN OKAY OR NOT?!!!!!!

This episode was a TRIP and a half, but I’m so happy with how everything went, my heart is so full!!!!

[azzandra]

I continue to read Wolfheart despite Knaak’s best efforts to make me stop, and oh man, I’d forgotten what a massive tool Varian Wrynn was. Oh my god, what an asshole.

So there’s this summit that the night elves have arranged so that there can be a vote for admitting the worgen in the Alliance. There’s like a banquet the night that every faction arrives, and then the vote is next day. Tyrande and Malfurion are hosting it, so they’re concerned that Varian is going to oppose the worgen’s admittance into the Alliance because he has a grudge against Genn Greymane.

Anyway, true to form, Varian Wrynn rolls in super late, crashes the party, throws an actual fucking tantrum at Greymane, spoils the mood for everyone, and then rolls out again.

The next day, the worgen make an excellent showing at the summit, every other faction in the Alliance is ready to vote for them to join, and Varian throws another tantrum, and blocks the vote.

Like holy shit dude. Voting against the worgen at the summit, I could get, but the guy literally ruined this nice welcome party that Tyrande and Malfurion threw for everyone just so he could get into a pissing contest with Greymane. 

I suddenly remember how much everyone used to hate Varian Wrynn during that time he was the faction leader for the Alliance.

[highpriestessbriyanna-blog]

Khadgar’s Life After Karazhan - The Abridged Version.

So there was a conversation with @sigurdjarlson.

Part of this is from the conversation, and the rest of it is to fill in what I skipped over.

Khadgar's Life After Karazhan (Abridged Version)

It starts with a... like.. 1-2 week of just successive loss and heartbreak. Khadgar and Lothar kill Medivh. They return to find Stormwind a mess. Llane is assassinated. Taria and Addy (who are apparently now gamecanon) are killed before they reach the docks. Varian watches his home burn while Lothar and Khadgar stare at it like "And we couldn't stop any of it."

Khadgar then gets to watch his home get overrun, and then deal with assholes in Dalaran. And THEN Lothar dies. And then he leads his people across to Draenor and is like "Well this is my life now if I don't kill us first" .... And then he goes home and is like "WHY THE FUCK IS MY HOMETOWN FULL OF FUCKING ZOMBIES?" And realizes that Some Shit happened when he was gone, tries to go to Dalaran and is confused by this giant fucking hole in the ground...

Gets BACK to Dalaran because Varian's like "Oh. um. Yeah. Shit happened. Here, lemme fill you in." And he chills in hiding while Deathwing nukes the world because Deathwing is all like "I WILL REMEMBER YOU" and not in the good way... and then the portal to Draenor changes and he's like "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT ALL I THOUGHT I FIXED THAT MOTHERFUCK....ER.... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK."

So then he leads ANOTHER fucking expidition over to Draenor and kills off some of the champions to make rings for them, (and later hands over their remains to power someone's artifact weapon), fails to stop Gul'dan from Gul'danning, finds out his bodyguard goes nuts and joins the fucking Legion (which rips his fucking heart out), and then Maeiv being like "I lend you one of my Watchers and she fucking joins the fucking Legion, are you THAT much of a Shit Wizard?!"

And because Maiev is a bitch, he goes and duels Gul'dan and has his ass handed to him on ice (because without that ice block let's face it he'd have been fucking TOAST), and Maiev mocks him s'more and Khadgar's like "Scuse me I need to go copy the awesome move Medivh did last time this happened." and goes to warn Stormwind.... and kind of hopes that the word will trickle over to the Horde because he's a twit.

And then he flies his freaked out ass to Karazhan, finds Dreadlord!Medivh and arcane-nutblasts him out a fucking window (like seriously "YOU FUCKING IMPERSONATE THE ONE PERSON IN THIS WORLD I LOVE AND PRETEND THAT HE'S BACK AND I'M JUST GOING TO NUKE YOUR ASS... fuck I just smashed a window, Medivh's going to kill me..."), and finds out that he's screwed no matter what he does.

So he acts cool by teleporting Dalaran around for a bit and putting gnomes in walls (which was kind of awesome) and according to one guy there's a trail of books still following Dalaran from both moves... and Khadgar then drags us back to Karazhan to find a book in The Library Where We All Learned I SHALL NOT MOVE WHEN FLAME WREATH IS CAST OR THE RAID BLOWS UP or else... meanwhile having us play with constructs while he tries to fuck with wards that he should have paid attention to for the last twenty fucking years but didn't because WTF.

And then things quiet down just enough to find out Karazhan's gone fucky AGAIN, and he goes there, finds Medivh alive and 'well' and has a half-assed emotional breakdown that Medivh half-ignores and then fucks off again, leaving Khadgar to stare at the retreating raven like "FUCKING HELL GET YOUR FUCKING RAVEN ASS BACK HERE WE HAVE FUCKING FOUR DECADES TO CATCH UP ON YOU DICK! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE BACK?! I HAD NO IDEA WHEN YOU WERE ON THAT FUCKING BALCONY BEFORE I FUCKING LEFT THIS FUCKING TOWER YOU FUCKING... ... oh. right, sorry, Champions, here's a portal back to Dalaran. Go ahead back, I'm going to stand here and scream into the Nether and probably have another mental and emotional breakdown, tell Modera I'll be back by dinner."

And of course there's the Legion ships all pointing their dicks at Dalaran while he has to shoot them down while we clear the beach and he makes bad puns and tries not to let his anger blow up on everyone else.

And then gets his ass kicked out of the Tomb of Sargeras. Again. (Since I first thought that thing in Cathedral was an illusion to distract us - no, they got their asses kicked, probably because Khadgar was exhasuted as fuck and he's only human, and his manapool is deep as fuck but he has a limit dammit)

And then they get into the fucking tomb and Khadgar then throws out Medivh’s last words to him about going through doors instead of closing them - and somehow Medivh didn’t fly down, dig his talons into Khadgar’s shoulder and peck his head all like “WHAT THE FUCK YOUNG TRUST?! WHAT THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU?? FUCKING NOOBLET I TAUGHT YOU BETTER THAN THIS!!!” So because VELEN has more balls than Khadgar, we all go kill KJ and then he’s all like “Well, at least we will have died fighting...” all like “THANK FUCKING GOD I CAN GET SOME FUCKING REST!” BUT NO!!! Illdan pulls out Plot Device and opens a giant fucking hole in the Universe and is like “Portal to Azeroth PLZ.” So he has to dig into the bottom of the little strength he has left to mass teleport like 40 people THROUGH THE FUCKING NETHER back to Azeroth without losing anyone... and he’s then like “Is everyone all right?” And Illdan’s just staring at the sky with this giddy “Holy fuck I’m epic” look and Khadgar is just “..................................” and doesn’t even have the strength of mind to punch the smile off Illidan’s face.

... and now he's like "GOD DAMMIT FUCKING LEGION UP MY ASS CAN'T GET A FCUKING BREAK FOR FUCK'S SAKE THIS IS FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE I'M ON A SPACE SHIP. ON ARGUS. MY FRIENDS HARDLY TALKED TO ME BUT THIS IS FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE EVERYTHING HAST TO BE FINE I'M FINE SOMEONE KILL ME."

And this is where we stand today.

This is me on talking with Sig and on pain meds. Thank you.

@selarcis @archmage--khadgar @archmage-modera @shadowphoenixrider If you would like to be added to my crack tag @ list let me know.

[ashleybenlove]

This episode is so fucking tense oh my gods.

Rapunzel and Varian and Pascal and Rudiger being down in the tunnels

Varian gave them truth serum cookies. 

Also, holy shit Fred’s kept the flower in the vault which I mean is fair. 

[nisha-kadam]

ACOWAR - MY FTR COMMENTS

So I was scrolling through the notes on my phone when I found the notes I made while reading ACOWAR. *REALLY LONG SO…*

*UK PAPERBACK EDITION

34 - Lucien & Feyre moment 36 - Alis KNOWS 😢❤ 43 + 44 - FEYRE GLOWING OMGG 😍😂 66 - immortal temper tantrum 68-71 - She send a BOGGE after them. TAMLIN THREW A TABLE AT HER. And RHYS OMGGG 😮😂 dirty minded 😂❤ 79 - Alis to Summer Court & a friend in her (Feyre’s) court (night court) & inner circle 93 - Lucien to Elain (night court) AHHH ❤ 96 - Lucien realising. Under the mountain. 101 - calling Feyre out on the horseshit she made up at Hybern 😂 106+106 - Jesminda 😢 114+115 - Elain & mates 121 - YAS, YAS, YASSS 🎉 AZRIEL IS HEREEE, CASSIAN IS HEREE, INNER CIRCLEEE 123 - HIGH LADY OF THE SPRING COURT 124 - Lucien Vanserra AND CASSIAN ❤ 127 - Lucien in Velaris 128 - RHYSANDDD OMGGG 😍 (my eyes started watering and I went full omg melt down mode in fangirl style) 131 - Ianthe ‘fell’ 😂 132-135+ - sassy Feyre 😏😂 & sex 145-148 - Rhys, Lucien, Feyre, Tamlin & mate bond. Pushing Lucien down the railing 😂 150 - Lucien. Feyre. Villain in your narrative. 156 - Elucien 😭😢 181 - INNER CIRCLE BANTER OMGGG 😂😂😂 215 - poor baby High Lord 😂😂 RHYSAND OMGGG 😂😏 218 - AHAHAHA ❤ 223 - BONE CARVER GOING HOME OMGGG ❤❤ 235 - OMG, BONE CARVER SHIFTED INTO SOMEONE LIKE FEYSAND’S SON OMGG 😮❤ 236/7 - OMFG, BONE CARVER AND THE WEAVER ARE TWINS. AND HE ALSO A GOSSIP GIRL 239 - Weaver Of Wood = Stryga. Her older brother = Koschei. Death-gods. 249+ - Elucien OMGG 254-6 - Az, Elain & Nesta vomiting bc of flying & Nesta is death 261 - Lord and Lady Night !!! ❤❤ ‘Ready to be wicked?’ Chapter 27+ (279) - Amarantha OMG 😭 274+ - Amren’s story 😢 295 - Mor and Feyre 303 - Feyre flew into a tree & Az 😂 307-9 - NEPHELLE’S STORY *SO INSPIRATIONAL OMG 😢❤ 317 - Nesta & Feyre moment 😢❤ 325/6 - The creature in the library 334 - Elain is a SEER 337 - Vassa, sixth mortal queen of Scythia = firebird of a sorcerer Chapter 34 - Amren is the besttt, Velarians love her ❤ 348 - OMG, Amren and Varian are FRIENDS?! 351 - OMG, ALIS. SUMMER COURT 😢 372 - Fuck, Tarquin is still hella mad 376 - OMG, Feysand moment 😍❤ 381 - Nessian moment!!! (Finally) ❤ 394 - Night Triumphant - and the Stars Eternal. 397 - OMG, LIKE AELIN. (Betting) 401 - OMG, FEYSAND. RHYS, ONLY THE CROWN. TO BED. 😂❤😍 Chapter 43 - OMFG, WHAT? EW, AMARANTHA MADE A DRESS OUT OF A FAERIE’S WINGS? TF IS WRONG WITH HER? 405-7 - AHHHHHH, MOR HAS A FRIEND? SHE SQUEALEDDDDDDD AHHHHH ❤❤❤ Viviane, Kallias’s wife. 410/11 - Viviane & Kallias’s love storyyy 429/30 - Azriel attacking Eris bc OMFG 431 - Nuan, the master tinker who gave Lucien a new left eye 433 - Cruel Beautiful High Lady 😍 445 - Yay!!! Allies!!! 447 - Mor and Viviane are fighting along side each other!!! ❤ 350/51 - OMGG, THREESOME?! WHAT?! 😂❤😍😏 453/54 - Lady Of The Autumn Court saved by Helion ❤ 455-57 - OMFG, HELION IS LUCIEN’S FATHER. HOLY SHIT. 460/61 - Morriel love and discussing the tool. And Feyre telling Rhys Tamlin burned his mother & sister’s wings 467 - SHIT. HYBERN JUST BROKE THE WALL. 473 - NESTA HAS NEVER WORN PANTS BEFORE?! 475 - Feyre is going to make another bargain with Bryaxis (the beast under the library) 487 - Mor telling Elain she’s lovely 493 - Jurian? Seriously? Chapter 53 - oh, oh, ohhhhh. Jurian isn’t mad, he is siding with us. Okay, phew 😌 496 - oh Jurian, I’m sorry 😢 499/500 - Elain and her human betrothed, ending their wedding preparations. 😢 501 - Jurian. Children of the Blessed. 503/04 - Mor 'we’re all broken’ quote 505 - Feysand moment 509 - Cassian’s death dance (battle) 511 - OMFG, TARQUIN DROWNED THE HYBERN SOLDIERS ON LANDD 😮 514/15 - Nessian moment 517/18 - Feysand moment 523 - YASSS, SURI!!! ❤❤ 527 - SURIII! Holy shit, I think Suri may be the Bone Carver’s oldest brother 530/31 - Oooh, Suri quote. FUCK! IANTHE IS HERE, WITH HYBERN SOLDIERS. Chapter 59 - OH PLEASE, BITCH. YOU SHOULD LEGIT JUST DROP DEAD, YOU’RE THE REAL WHORE HERE. 😠 SURI, ILY XX ❤ 535 - OMFG, ARE YOU INSANE FEYRE?! Oh wait, she is. For her friends she will be. Chapter 60 - and page 537, OMFG, BAHAHAHA, IANTHE IS STUPID. STOOPID. SHE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW OF THE WEAVER. AND THE WEAVER IS GOING TO TAKE HER PRETTINESS. BAHAHA 😂😏 518/19 - OMIGOSH, NOOO 😢😢😢 SURI IS DEAD 😢😭 He was kind 😢 544 - Rhys reminding her she is her own person. 547-Chapter 62 - Mor and Feyre fighting 😢 555-Chapter 36 - OMFG, AMREN AND VARIAN. FRIENDS, PFTTT, MORE LIKE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. 559/60 - OMG, CAULDRON 565 - Feyre & Az getting Elain back. Rhys’s pep talk 581 - BRIAR. OMFG, HAS 'MOON-WHITE SKIN’ COULD IT BE BRIAR BLACKBEAK? 587 - Mor. Briar to the Winter Court. omfg, rhys. 'They’ve got fuzzy animals’ 😂💕 Enormous bears were fuzzy if you ignored the claws and teeth 😂❤ 588-93 - Mor prefers females, omg; Andromache. Omg, the golden queen was her decadent. 😢😢 602/03 - omfg, you’re getting Ouroboros, The Mirror Of Beginnings And Endings. Chapter 68 - oh, oh, OHHHH. OUROBOROS, LIKE THE SNAKE THAT’S EATING ITS TAIL 606/07 - OMG, THE MIRROR SHOWS THE BEAST YOU ARE. YOU. PEOPLE ARE SCARED OF THEMSELVES, OF WHAT THEY ARE CAPABLE OF. 610 - OMG, Az is lending Elain use/borrow Truth-Teller (his personal knife) 611/13 - Court Of Dreams, family 😢❤ fuck, I’m bawling 😭 617/19 - OMG, THE WEAVER (wearing Ianthe’s pale blue jewel 😂), BONE CARVER AND BRYAXIS. *618 - Feyre saw herself. REREAD AGAIN AND AGAIN END - HOLD WYRDKEYS, PLZ LET THE TOG SERIES BE AS HAPPY AS THIS.

[cataclysmic-catastrophe]

SO I have just finished ACOWAR and this is what I have concluded..

(chronologically from my notes)

-Feyre is so badass at being undercover

-long distance relationship feels

-Ianthe is a piece of SHIT

-Dagden and Brannagh are like Desda and Eska from Legend of Korra

-Some similarities between Tamlin/the wall/Hybern early in the book are looking reeeeeeal relevant to some certain *ahem* political things going on in the USA rn

-mASKS

-Eris makes me suspicious considering he is literally named after the goddess of Discord who famously sowed the seeds of the Trojan War

-more invisible hands!?!? *wink wink* hey Manorian i c u

-Feysand being the ultimate relationship in YA/New Adult lit to look up to because C H O I C E  and  E Q U A L I T Y dammit!

-NESSIAN

-Amren Nesta friendship

-omg could you imagine them and Manon all hanging out.holy mother

-Rhys’s self sacrificing tendencies hurt my heart

-i want to see stuff from Rhys’ perspective while Feyre was undercover

-The library reminds me of the Guggenheim museum and if you disagree you’re wrong

-Rhys is the Mom Friend™

-in ACOMAF i thought the bone carver was just baby Rhys but OMG its their future kid. holy shit

-When it was mentioned that a Fae warrior’s blood ran into a human line.. HMM who could that possibly mean??

-Seraphim interesting interesting

-Elain is PSYCHIC 

-Feyre falls face first into mud when she falls asleep sitting up. DEAD

-”You are selfless, and brave and kind.” p 376 OH INTERESTING RHYSAND ARE YOU DIVERGENT

- “…wear that crown to bed. only the crown.” p. 402

- “You bow to no one” p 402- this made me think of LOTR but alsoooooo of a certain someone who is heir of ash and fire and will bow to no one….

-Helion makes me think of Apollo

-Helion’s thighs

-feminism for all the wives/mates to become HIGH LADIES fuck yeah

- “50 years of Gossip”

-When Tamlin rolls into the meeting

- “The sun was shining when I left you”

-Amren being attached to the blood ruby 

-Amren and Varian

-AMREN AND VARIAN

-Azriel attacking Eris

- more with the GENDER EQUALITY PLS (Viviane, yas girl)

- “I shall Consider” remember in EoS…. Remember???

- Helion’s bisexuality

-Helion is LUCIEN’s baby daddy

-Helion’s thighs

-Elazriel !!!

-Bryaxis is bae

-Nesta the witch

-the focus on how being narrow minded is bad!!!! very relevant

-Cassian reminded me of Achilles during the first battle scene

-when nesta detects Cassian’s injuries: Maaaaaaaaates

-YAAAAS SURI

-a few pages later:

-NOOO SURI

-”I need to-to die for it to be stopped?” 529. NO SARAH NOT AGAIN PLEASE

-crying because the suriel died

-p 552-3, the cauldron looking back at them reminded me a lot of the Palantir and of the Eye of Sauron. loved the LOTR parallels whether or not they were intentional.

-again VARIAN AND AMREN

-when Elain got kidnapped by the Cauldron i just pictured it skirting up to their camp and her getting in and it driving away like nyooom nyoom

-it was late at night dont judge my sleep deprived brain

-aw Tamlin did something right for once

-POLAR BEARS AND REINDEER

-MOR LIKES GIRLS!!!

-i didnt seee that coming but omg it makes so much sense

-Andromache, again a reference to the Iliad (Andromache was the wife of Hector)

-p 600- when they are gonna have the big battle while the Made ones nullify the king’s power over the cauldron- LOTR parallel to when the Rohan and Gondor forces draw out the orcs and the Eye while frodo and sam Do the Thing™

-in short… Feyre is Frodo

-the SPEECH

-YAY monsters

-When Spring and Autumn show up!!! love that trope

-oh shit more Hybern… theyre all fucked…

-AcCePt!!! Seraphim and MR ARCHERON

-and VASSA

-sidebar, Vassa being the firebird is an interesting parallel to Russian folklore and history. not to mention the Weaver reminds me of Baba Yaga a little bit but ANYWAYS

-AMREN WHAT ARE YOU DOING

-EXCUSE ME

-Enchanted Cauldron Journeys™ 2.0

-The entire scene between Nesta Cassian and Mr. Hybern King

-Elain STABBING. HYBERN. IN. THE NECK.

-ugh yes.

-punt that bitches head like a deflated football!!!!!!

-yeah i said it.

-Amren is….. Satan?

-That was the Lucifer story, right? Are we all in agreement there??

-The cauldron is a big ol womb

-Mother+Cauldron=life, gift of life

-its the universe

-Rhys dying literally ruined my life

-even tho i knew it was gonna happen ( i saw a spoiler by accident)

- “Be happy, Feyre” Tamlin redemption arc?

-Rhys’s first words when he is Rhysurrected™

-Oops dont overcook Amren!!

-Nesta spat on Hybern’s corpse

- “We’re opening the fancy bottles”

-THE LINGERIE

-one more time for good measure:

Helion’s thighs

ugh. This book i swear to god

AND THEN THERES GONNA BE MORE?!?!?!??!?!?!

what are you doing to me sarah!??!!??

[tntwme]

My reactions while reading ACOWAR - SPOILERS!

-Who is Ravennia?  Is she coming back?

- Rhys never stopped looking for his family, never stopped fighting for them and his people

- OMG Lucien wants Elain!

- Jurien?  Oh, HELL no!

- Jurien knows of Feyre’s powers?

- Friend at Dawn Court skilled at blending magic and machinery; Lucien knows her…she’s going to play a part in this somehow….

- OMG, twins have mind powers

- Helion Spell-Cleaver, curse-breaking ability….

- Lucien and Ianthe on Calanmai???  Ewwwww…

- Alis knows!!  And approves!

- Holy fuck!  She chose Lucien to stay by her side and had him glow, too

- “When do you come home to me?”  I love him so much!!

- He burned their wings???

- Breaking bargains bears a price…but Hybern broke Rhys and Feyre’s bargain….?  What was his price to pay?

- How are Tamlin and Lucien going to use Hybern to their advantage?

- Who saw her use her Daemati power on the three Children of the Blessed?  Jurien!  But why thank her?

- What are they looking for at the wall?

- Jurien knows Rhys and his true nature and knows Feyre is a spy!  He wants revenge on Miryam and Drakon?

- OMG, they used a bogge to kill them!!  How cunning is she!!!  :) :)

- Why isn’t she healing??

- OMG, she brought Tamlin and Ianthe down, no one respects them

- OMG Alis!  Work your charms on Tarquin for Feyre’s sake!

- Why are her powers weakening?

- So the cauldron will pick up on previous acts of strong power an magnify it…even 500 years later?  What other acts can the cauldron be made to use?

- OMG, poison?

- YESSSS!!!  She’s going back and taking Lucien!!!

- “He can get in line.”!!  HA!!  So much like Ripley’s, “They can bill me!” in Aliens 

- They are reconciling!

- What have the inner circle been doing all this time?

-YYYYYEEEESSSSS!!!  THEY ARE HERE!!!!!!!!!

- CASSIAN!!!!!   WINGS!!!!!!!!

-AZRIEL!!!!!!  HEALED!!!!!!!

- Lucien Vanserra

- Amren, “I see you brought home a new pet.”  Poor Lucien, but LOL!

- Rhys about Tamlin, “That piece of shit!”

- Nesta - pointed ears!!  YES!!!

- “Learn hard way”, she’s denying HE is HER mate!

- “If you disregard those rules, I’ll lock you in a room with Amren”  HAHAHAHA!

- Miryam and Drakon - hid centuries ago, but even from friends? 

- What item made Miryam?

- “When you erupt, girl, make sure it is felt across worlds.”  Amren is the shit!

- Azriel, cocky, I like!

- Some humans can claim distant Fae ancestry…are they talking about anyone in particular?

- What’s in the pit at the library?  What in the hell can scare Cassian that bad?

- MONSTERS!!  YES!!!

- Why is she having nightmares and (almost) vomiting again?

- Bone Carver = their son!  CALLED IT!!

- The Weaver is his Sister? WTH?  And a brother also?

- What did Cassian wake? What did she rip out w/her teeth and take?  It’s gotta be Nesta…

- It is!

- Koschei is bound by a Fae warrior who’s trace is in the human line…who??

- Ouroboros mirror, window to other worlds…

- Who did Cassian see as the Bone Carver???

- Is Nesta a Death God, too?

- Bird of Fire - Autumn?  Lucien?

- Elain made Az blush!

- Eris…what’s his whole story?

- OMG, AMREN reveals who she is!!??!!

- WHAT did Elain hear?  Don’t dismiss it!  Who is not dead, but crying?  OMG, please not Amarantha!!

- Young hands wither with age; a box of black stone, a feather of fire lands on snow and melts it……OMG, is this  Aelin and Rowan??

- Why not let Elain look into the mirror?

- SHE’S A SEER!!!  Called it

- The 6th Queen! Oh shit, held by Bone Carver’s brother!

- If Lucien’s eye can see spells and glamours, why didn’t he ever see through Feyre’s?  She glamoured her mate tattoo and other stuff while at Spring…

- No, not Summer!  Save them!

- Did Varian tell Amren??

- Yes, he did!!!!!!

- Show them the Court of Dreams!

- Night Triumphant…and the Stars Eternal!

- Wingspan - Rhys!  LMAO!!!!

- Viviane - Oh, I like her!

- Nuan crafted his eye!!!  Yes!  I knew she’d be important later!

- Nesta’s defending Cassian!!  You go girl!

- OMG, is one of the Autumn heirs actually Helions?  (Please be Lucien!)

- Nesta - what feels wrong?

- THE WALL IS GONE??

- YES, GATHER THE MONSTERS!

- Jurien….ally???

- Tamlin, that FUCKING TOOL!!!!!

- SOMEONE PLEASE WRITE FANFIC OF THE FOURSOME!

- “We’re all broken,” More said.  “In our own ways, in places no one might see….”  Ummm….recycling “We all have scars, some are just more visible than others”???

- SOMEONE PLEASE DRAW MY BABY BATS WITH THE WINGED HELMETS, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

- OMG, THE SURIEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- WTF IANTHE???  BITCH!!!

- OMG, the Suriel is doing anything to save Feyre!!

- OMG, is she running them into the WEAVER?

- YYYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

- The Suriel = A DREAMER!  My heart is broken!!!!

- Why is Helion even there?

- NOOOOOOOO!  CASSIAN!!!!!!!

- Amren, lol!

- HOLY FUCK, VARIAN!!!!!  YEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!

- LMFAO Tarquin!  “We’ll alternate who has to deal with them on holidays.”

- Why was Nesta staring at Azriel?

- SHIT!  Cauldron took Elain??

- Rhys!  Commander speech to Feyre!  Wait, did she mimic the broken hand, too?  

- Are Elain and Az….?

- OMFG, Tamlin saved her!  His wind…?

- 3 Archeron sister in bed again…SOMEONE DRAW THIS PLEASE!

- Really?  She’s been so strong about everything in her life and she chooses THIS to be afraid to admit??  Weak character writing…

- What exactly did the mirror show her??  SOMEONE DRAW FEYRE AND THE MIRROR!!

- THE REAL ONE!  OMG!!  TEARS!!!!!

- OMG, RHYS GOT THE WEAVER!!!!!!

- No way the Bone Carver’s dead!!

- Oh guess so

- PRINCE OF MERCHANTS!  OMG!!!

- Amren….what….?

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORHYSNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

- High Lords come together in a big way - you bet your ass!

- AMREN!!!!!!!!!!!!  YESSSSS!

[tradcprince]

Please, please, oh god please, share your salt with us.

          oh my god i hope y’all are ready because there is. so much.

the alliance bias is killing me. yeah, i know, wod was all about orcs, cata was all about wanking off thrall, yaddah yaddah. but legion is so alliance-centric it hurts. first of all, yes, both cata and wod has horde-leanings, but cata still featured alliance– malfurion in particular– and there was still development for them. anduin did a badass thing and saved the dwarves a civil war, dwarven society had a huge change in general, the gnomes had a breakthrough with their issues… etc. wod also still had alliance development with the draenei and i’m sure i could list more if i ever did any wod content. but legion… has no horde development.

sylvanas became warchief and… that’s it. the darkspear have a stand-in leader, an unofficial one. blizz couldn’t even be assed to develop an actual new troll leader. sylvanas, as soon as she’s got the title, dips to go dog-hunting and we get no word on how she’s handling her new position, how she interacts with the other horde races now that they work under her, etc. it’s only because of a forum post that we know nobody supports her as warchief, with the sole exception of lor’themar who’s being blackmailed at best.

the alliance have an entire questline dedicated to showing anduin’s new role, how people are responding to him, him coming to terms with varian’s death. we get no such thing for vol’jin. you know what we get? various guards say stuff in orgrimmar during his funeral, if you ditch to go visit the city or if you walk around before he dies, but you know what some orc guards say?

they say that they think the horde should be lead by an orc.

supposedly the second cutscene showing vol’jin’s death was our anduin questline-equivalent, but it’s not. we didn’t get twenty extra minutes worth of questing with sylvanas. we get no closure. our broken shore cutscene was half-recycled from the alliance one, and we’re made to sit through varian’s death when the alliance never saw nor heard about vol’jin’s death. the horde is still held responsible for what happened to varian, and the horde is expected to apologize and sympathize with the alliance with no reciprocation. WE LOST OUR WARCHIEF. our warchief that time and again said that the horde is a family, that dropped everything to help even the estranged undead during the events of wrath, that banded the horde together when garrosh tore it apart.

also, side note that i’m sure everyone’s heard a hundred times, but vol’jin survived having his throat SLASHED WITH A POISONED DAGGER but we’re supposed to expect that a poke in the tummy from a demonic nobody killed him… okay, blizz.

not only did we lose our warchief, but the horde forgot about him. as mentioned above, sylvanas does nothing to avenge him as she said she would. orc guards still hold garrosh’s racist values. the trolls have no defined new leader. there are no horde npcs in stormheim that aren’t forsaken. the sin’dorei insult the kal’dorei by leaving troll voodoo artifacts in their camp, apparently forgetting that time vol’jin helped them deal with the amani who were still pissed with them. after the funeral, nobody mentions him except fucking gul’dan, and there’s literally no memorial left in vol’jin’s honor. (varian even got a part of the isles NAMED AFTER HIM.) the horde didn’t just lose its leader, and the trolls now ALONE. and they’re are already on the road to extinction since blizz is just dedicated to vilifying every non-darkspear tribe out there. only king rastakhan is left, and we KNOW we’re going to be killing him at some point.

the entire xpac is focused on the night elves, the draenei and the worgen. the latter two, okay, fine. they were neglected badly in previous xpacs. the only horde leaders that’ve had ANY kind of screentime since the start of legion besides sylvanas and the now-dead vol’jin are gallywix, who is actually helping the horde by FIGHTING ALONGSIDE US AT THE START LIKE HOLY SHIT, and saurfang, who participated in the invasions and is now the orcish leader in orgrimmar. baine and thrall are just kind of disposable (and the latter even finally retires), and lor’themar is back to obscurity.

(baine by now is also still the only racial leader without a unique model. seriously, what the fuck.)

the class halls are alliance-centric, too. by nature of the current lich king and the previous highlord, the paladin and death knight class halls are the most obvious with this. the rogue class hall as well has more alliance-leanings than horde, because there’s literally not a single goddamn champion that isn’t neutral or alliance. according to my friend boo, the druid class hall is similar, and druidism in warcraft is already night elf-centric in how the night elves actually FORCED THE TAUREN to abandon their original names for the various figures in druidism, and both night elves and tauren are said to be mocking the trolls for doing things their own way. the paladin hall has also assimilated the sunwalkers into following the light according to some people. it’s kind of infuriating how even little details for the horde are washed out in favour of the alliance beliefs and values.

in general also, ever since the start of warcraft the horde has gotten shafted in little ways, even with our villains. illidan gets to return with a “redemption arc” (that’s a whole other story), kael’thas is left as the villain when he was the much better man in wc3. garrosh is killed in wod such that the player is never allowed to remember that he was once a hero, while arthas’ death in wrath is almost redemptive in showing that there was still a part of the princely paladin left in him. the kindest horde villain death is gul’dan, who gets to sadface in 7.1.5 before illidan finishes him off, but one patch later kil’jaeden gets actual lines redeeming his character and a touching moment with velen as he dies.

(i know gul’dan was always a reprehensible person at his core, but the trend still follows.)

and this is all without getting into how sylvanas as a character is shafted to just make her more shady without any regard for the fact that she DID clearly have SOME AMOUNT of care for the horde, or how blizz dropped the racial tension subplot with the horde as soon as garrosh lost his title, or how the orcs as a race got pretty badly flanderized in mists, or even going into complete detail in how blizzard straight-up hates the trolls as a race.

i’ll freely admit i’m horde-biased af – and the alliance has its share of deficiencies too. but i really do think the horde has it worse, despite being such a major part of why warcraft is as unique as it is. in legion especially, horde players are bombarded with talk of varian, mourning varian, reminded at every turn what a good king varian was. all that, and not a single word is whispered about vol’jin, the greatest warchief we ever had.

we can only hope one thing, and i doubt blizz will feel the same: DARKSPEAR NEVER DIE.

[forsaken-castle-cainhurst]

3, 4, 8, 16, 23!

3: Best game you've ever played?BLOODBORNE its bloodborne i live and love in bloodborne’s peculiar light

4: Worst game you've ever played?Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Any Gears of War game? Clive Barkers Jericho? League of Legends? World of Warcraft? I’ve played a lot of bad games man. I have low low standards.

Wait what am I saying, its fucking Halo 5, holy shit man.

Wait I’ve also played Assassins Creed Unity and fucking stopped 20 minutes in. Hmm

8: Best soundtrack?Also probably Bloodborne tbh. Persona 3 is really good too? Is it better? Maybe, but only on fucking portable of all things where you can play as a girl because the girls music is soooooo much better.

16: Character you've hated most? From what game?FUCK THAT’S SO HARD. Like dude do you have any idea how much i hate Varian Wrynn? like god damn I’m so glad he’s fucking dead. There’s also Yoske? And TEDDIE UGH I HATE TEDDIE SO MUCH GOD. Oh man and mercer from skyrim? fuck man I just want to kill him every time i see him. Him and Nazim or w/e his name is. But I do kill Nazim every time. Also Heimsker but we all kill heimsker. I also really hate Ulfric but he’s literally skyrims version of varian soooooooo yeah. I hate a lot of characters yo

23: Biggest disappointment you've had in gaming? I mean WoW has been an almost constant disappointment in my life since Wrath ended. Like every expansion since save for Mists, weirdly, has just been super bad. Like holy fuck Warlords was sooooooooo bad and Legion is also soooo bad it’s fucking embarrassing for Blizz imo.Dark Souls 3 was kinda disappointing? Like it was still good because it was a Dark Souls game but like, I thought it spent too much time reminding us that the first game existed. Which was everyone’s gripe with 2 but 3 did it way more often and was way more obvious about it but is /apparently/ the better game of the two or some nonsense.

I haven’t played Civ6 but it looks bad. I just looked at it and it has disappointed me. How dare it.