#oh my god I think tumblr has killed the quality </3

[gaytobymeres]

York train station, a cold November Sunday 2023

Taken on Rollei 35S on Ilford HP5 film

[undermostcorgi]

ok i will post them because i love them and i worked way too hard on it and almost lost the file multiple times so i am forcing you to see Them

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Sorry the comic anon again

I know we mostly focus the woke shit but comics also fall apart because

1. Rampant big events that cause more damage than good

2. Rampant character assassination and development erasure that cause serve damage (don’t get me fucking started on Dan Didio 5G plans and how that effect a character I was invested in)

3. PAINFULLY obvious writers who don’t check the characters they are writing past unless it’s a certain run.

4. And keeping the same godawful status quo that keep a endless cycle of the same shit again and again.

There more, but marvel and dc purposely put them into the landmines and refuse to properly adapt their stories and money making ways to modern era. I can’t blame just the wokies, I have to blame th embodiment of a strawman manchild like Dan didio

I know this long, but hear what the head of dc comics from the early 2010’s to 2020 said

https://www.omega-level.net/2013/09/09/frown-dcs-dan-didio-says-heroes-shouldnt-happy-lives/

Oh, absolutely mainstream comics have been shit for decades. I love that you made a numbered list because I have things to say and this makes it easy to organize, XD

FUCK EVENT COMICS. God, I used to love these things when they were rare. They felt meaningful and they were the only time you got to see some characters interact with each other, and it felt special because it was unique. Secret War, Crisis on Infinite Earths, No Man's Land, and Age of Apocalypse are some of my favorite comic stories ever. Reading the No Man's Land novelization was actually what got me into Batman comics in the first place, and from there into DC itself (eventually). Until then, the only comics I'd read were Marvel staples like X-Men and Spider-Man (which, believe it or not, used to be the only two Marvel characters 90% of mainstream fans liked) and Spawn. But event comics also completely killed my interest in DC and Marvel. Civil War ruined pretty much every character I liked, along with everything I enjoyed about the Marvel universe. And Flashpoint killed DC for me, while the New 52 dug up its grave and did unmentionable things to the corpse. Now, event comics happen all the time. Hell, DC rebooted its main universe I think three times in a 10 year span. And dear God don't get me started on multiverses. They used to be an interesting concept, but now they're just a receptacle for every idea that was too shitty for even modern Marvel/DC editors to green light for the main continuity.

Yeah, way too many comics these days are written by people who hate the character they're writing for. It's vandalism, pure and simple. Taste, quality, respect for the character and its history, satisfying the fans, all gleefully thrown into the fire. It makes it impossible to get into any character, because the moment the writer changes so will everything good about the character. Even new characters aren't immune. The moment Bendis took over writing Jon Kent he artificially aged him up, completely changed his character, and basically did everything he could to ruin the magic of Tomasi's Super Sons run. Pissed me off to no end, because I was actually considering dipping my toes back into DC just to read more Super Sons than the stuff I saw on tumblr until that happened. Still makes me mad thinking about it.

I know this is kind of similar to the last point, but Batman writers constantly do this with Damian Wayne. It seems like every new writer has to throw out all his character development and reset him back to being a barely functioning murder baby. Though, that's also a problem with Batman, too. How many times has he cut himself off from his family and friends because "he works better alone" only to realize that he needs other people? 20, by now? 30? I mean, fuck, they did the "Batman needs to be a loner oh wait actually he needs his family" storyline twice in three years. No Man's Land in 1999 and Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive in 2002. I get that long running serials are going to repeat storylines, but fuck try to keep things consistent for a decade, at least. I don't think that's asking too much. Aside from the vandalism and wokeness, I think the major problem with American comics is that they have no idea how to write a character or a story long term. They just do whatever they think will boost sales or get people talking, find out they wrote themselves into a corner because they didn't think further than, at best, a year out, and then reboot their entire continuity again because they can't figure out any other way to get out of the whole they dug themselves into. Why would anyone get invested in a product like that?

This is where I'm going to disagree partly. I don't think the status quo is necessarily a bad thing. I think about it a lot when people won't shut up about how killing the Joker would prevent countless deaths, and actually Batman is an idiot for prioritizing his own morality over the lives of others by not killing him. In real life, that might be true. "Do the ends justify the means" is a moral problem humanity has been wrestling with since we invented morality. But comics aren't real life, and they're not supposed to be. In comics, there are good guys and bad guys. The good guys stop the bad guys from doing bad things, usually by fighting them, and then arrest them. Good guys follow a moral code, one that usually includes a no killing rule. They do this because if Batman kills off his rogues, or Superman rips Lex Luthor's heart out, you can't tell anymore stories with those characters. Heroes are defined, in many ways, by their villains. Batman without a Joker, or Two-Face, or Riddler, or Scarecrow, is less of a character. Not to say that he can never face any other bad guys, or that they can't be cycled in and out now and then, but you can't just kill them off. You can't have Batman kill them off. Especially when comic book deaths are meaningless anyway. Once you break one of the central pillars of Batman's morality, he is immediately a different character. Less of a character, in my opinion. Especially these days, where morals are more about whether or not a character supports the popular new slacktivist cause and less about the fundamental questions of universal human morality. So, I very much advocate for good status quos to stick around as long as possible. But you also need to recognize when the thing you're doing needs to change. It's a delicate balance, and one that's completely beyond most comic writers today.

Ugh, don't even get me started on that "characters can't be happy" bullshit. I'll be here all day. Suffice to say, it's a garbage line that only exists to excuse bad writing and the most shallow interpretation of drama. Super heroes can be happy and still be entertaining and have personal strife. Reading constant misery and knowing that every bit of happiness a character does find will be temporary is what's boring.

[seokmatthewz]

mutuals appreciation! write heart-felt messages to some of your mutuals (or even ones you haven't talked to yet!) and tag them, BUT don't tell them which message is their, let them guess! after you're done, send this to 1 mutual you want to get a message from!

oh god okay this is very nice and sweet in theory KLDSLD but tragically i am perhaps the person with the most anxiety in the world ever and not telling people which message is for who for whatever reason feels like it would probably kill me so i think instead i will write some silly little notes for my mutuals but tag them directly or else i may die KLFCDSL sorry i cannot play the game properly i am not built like that kldskddsfkl but thank u nonetheless!!!! <3<3

@berryjaellie millie my lovely dearest fairytual who i adore and keep in my pocket it has been a joy interacting with u more thru twt these days be it to bicker or yell loudly or pester u abt matthew or hanbin as always i perpetually hope we can continue to interact more ily mwah!! thank u so much for sending me random little raccoon vids and associating me with cute things that i do not deserve u r so dear 2 me <3

@winxys paula my fucked up little meow meow there is nobody on this website who i would enjoy being the mortal enemy of more (even though with every passing day it seems like we are becoming 🤢friends🤢) as we continue to lose our minds over bbangiz crumbs and whatever onlyoneof are doing at most points in time. i know things have been rough for you lately and i really do hope they get better! here's to hoping zb1 don't debut with noise !!

@chwejongho i am not sure if u use tumblr at all lately (i believe u dont much) but it wld feel deeply wrong and incorrect to leave u off of one of these kaz dearest my boy my best friend my platonic soulmate u have put up with so much from me in these past few months (not to mention these past few years we've been friends) because i am a nuisance who never shuts up so thank you so much for putting up with my hours worth of instagram voice messages about how i was worried about matthew during boys planet even though you didn't watch the show i very much appreciate that you are always a shoulder to cry on for me no matter what the circumstance, be it me being overdramatic about a man i don't know personally or something much more serious. i appreciate you so much no matter how much or little we are talking at any given moment and i am forever wishing you the best no matter what. i love you so much!!

@hyvnsuk gabi my fellow haotual i do not have a ton to say here but i am incredibly amused every single time we have a same brain moment these days it's so fun and cute dslsdfk you're always a joy to have on the dash and your content is so pretty!! i hope ur always doing well mwah!!

@jjanguri rin dearest!! i hope the air quality has improved where u are !! u r so sweet and wonderful and i hope we can interact more soon!!! mwah!!

@haob1n lovely maria!! thank u for all the sweet comments you leave in the tags of my gifsets i do not deserve ur kindness and i am so incredibly overjoyed every time u call me a matthew stan pillar (or something along those lines) KDSSKLD mwah i hope u are always well!!

@zeroze hope!!!! ik we have not interacted much but it is always so fun to briefly goof around w u in the replies of an ask u are so sweet and funny!!! i rlly hope we can talk more soon <3<3

also to all my zerosetuals in general pls feel free 2 chat with me!! i wld love 2 make some zerose friends hehe

[zephra85]

I posted 4,970 times in 2022

23 posts created (0%)

4,947 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cheeziswin

@fierceawakening

@ironbite4

@rius-cave

@isastrobitch

I tagged 3,943 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#video killed the radio star - 320 posts

#ybg - 281 posts

#tmnt 2018 - 235 posts

#rottmnt movie - 198 posts

#newhologram - 154 posts

#rottmnt spoilers - 138 posts

#pokemon - 137 posts

#helluva boss - 129 posts

#meme - 117 posts

#leonardo - 109 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#if they didn't seem like a creeper (which 9/10 times they weren't) i'd invite them to have a drink with me or sit with my friend group and

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Sooo... like, we’ve all seen the subtle foreshadowing that Luz might be possessed by the Collector soon, but as we’ve seen in the latest episodes, it’s King who has an established connection with the Collector, which gave me a horrible thought:

What if KING is the intended target of the Collector’s possession, and it’s going to result in Luz sacrificing herself by either striking a bargain with them OR like, dramatically intervening ala ‘throwing themselves in front of a bullet’ trope to somehow transfer the connection/possession to HER instead of King?? 

Because I don’t think my heart could take that. 

20 notes - Posted May 25, 2022

#4

AW YISS HOMEMADE NACHOS AND RISE OF THE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES MOVIE LET’S GOOOOOO

20 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

Also I haven’t seen anyone talk about it yet but CAN we talk about how Alya telling Nino about Rena Furtive turned out to be a good thing because if she didn’t, if Carapace didn’t know Rena was watching them from there?

See the full post

49 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

#2

Quick ROTTMNT Review

Oh god... the tears running down my face are so real. I need to watch the movie a few more times to properly process everything, but here’s what I can get out right now. 

I just knew there would be some fresh Leo/Raph conflict for this movie, but I didn’t know how it would be handled. I was hoping for some nice support/angst combo and they freakin’ DELIVERED. And in a way I totally didn’t expect.

The tone was consistent with the show yet somehow managed to pull off the tears and angst SO WELL. 

My biggest fear from the initial trailers was how Foot Recruit/Cassandra was going to be handled. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: It was addressed, and it made me laugh. We’re good.

Okay like... it almost feels redundant to talk about the animation? But I will a bit anyway. It was FIRE. It was BOSS. It was EPIC. It was everything you could possibly hope, want, expect, and more. It stayed Movie Quality the entire time. 

Probably my biggest critique is while yes, Leo and Raph were intended to have a role reversal, something shown in the show was how while Raph was always doing and trying his best as leader, he wasn’t a very good strategist nine times out of ten? And while Leo was more laid back and lazy he WAS in fact a very good strategist when he set his mind to it. This movie seems to reverse that...? Leo was VERY ‘fly by the seat of his pants’ and Raph put in the effort to make actual plans. BUT I suppose this could be attributed to a more literal role reversal. Leo decides ‘now that i’m leader whatever i do is FINE i guess’ and Raph has to overcompensate like he does in Pizza Puffs. It would have been nice to see this addressed properly BUT it didn’t ruin my emersion.

All in all, I loved this movie with my whole heart. Thank-you so much to the cast and crew for giving us this gift. I hope my tears fuel your next endeavors. 

65 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Also anybody else catch this tiny Todd at the beginning of the movie kicking ass and taking names???

271 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[fourleaf-artlocke-tracker]

HGSS - Stream #1

Stream began on 9/11 around 5:30 CST Announcement Tumblr Post

Stream Summary below the cut :3

Starter chosen! A Cyndaquil named Kettle! +1 Pokemon!

Ethan is Forrest, how fun! :3

After a long debate and one misspelt poll name (minon -fish) the rival is named! Wallow, the evil version of Willow who is Definitely Real and Willow totally didn't just commit those crimes. Totally. Yep. Awesome.

The rival's creature is name Potodile.... cute creature with pot on head

One time, it didn't talk to it's ingame mom before leaving and it felt so bad that it reset the game. That is a canon thing that they said. honestly real and canon.

The first encounter, a Pidgey! Named Moe Wings! +1 Pokemon!

An idea was tossed around about giving her yuri wings and a lot of history was discussed during the drawing of this creature!! very cute and a v fun segment

tbh i had to go get water and missed Poke Bowl's catching, but we got Poke Bowl the Metapod with only Harden! How fun :) + 1 Pokemon!

Soon after, Willow caught a Spinarak! Between the choices Bobbin and Spindle, it chose Bobbin! Personally, this guy is my favorite thus far :) + 1 Pokemon!

Then, we arrived in the Belsprout Tower! Thing! (idk ive never played HGSS) and caught a silly Ghastly! Dimple! Well, silly sure is a word for it. Watching this thing being animated was... interesting. :) + 1 Pokemon!

Mob Psycho Ghastly. Horrible. Higher resolution image because the people need to see this.

I agree, user keyboardTennis and user Plush0fairy.

Accidental creature jumpscare.......

Zubat encounter! We catch it with general ease! This name was a chat-name, and we chose Doctor LawRent. Awesome. Perfect. Darling baby. I would kill for her. She works a solid internship and wants to move her way up the corporate ladder. Good for her. Graduated with honors. +1 Pokemon!

oh my GOD its so low quality forgive me. pleasee…

The chat enticed Wyll with the Wooper, but the false prophet himself, a rodent. The allure of life, only to discover failure itself. Fate's cruel hands have touched this creature and have hurt the people. Velvet joins the team. + 1 Pokemon!

angry creature... and transgender.... and yuri with Moe Wings

Whoopass x Pidgay yuri mention!!! woo!!!! tragedy...

Willow realizes that the level cap is 13. Oh No...

"HE IS A BALL!!! He has nothing to drop but himself! and my standards of him..." - Willow 2k24

oh!

awesome!

Dimple almost dies soon after. 4 health vs a lvl3 Belsprout. Good job, Dimple. Woo!

Velvet x LawRent arises as the new yuri ship... OH AND POLYCULE IDEA HAS BEEN TOSSED INTO THE RING! WOOOOOOOO!!!

Willow defeats the tower's Elder Li!

it just tried to teahc flash to dimple oh no oh fuck oh NO

After a quick almost-death with Moe Wings, Willow dives into the gym! Falkner makes a great show of how bird pokemon are superior and then gets his first pokemon absolutely DESTROYED by Moe Wings.

Attempting a switch, Dimple is brought down to 4hp after a single gust. Swap out into Kettle, a few close-calls, and then the first gym badge is Willow's!

Rock Smash.... i want to rock smash in my skull for writing this

oh my god chills voice. what the hell. deku?

Willow uses hacker power. magic. i think. i dunno. they use their magical powers of inserting numbers into boxes to roll the Mareep egg in the word game...

oh my god it encounters a wooper after we've already got velvet... the true prophet watches our failures and laughs... laughs... laughs... on and on... but we are the fools, the jesters among the courts of man and it knows. It dances around our wishes and sets them ablaze. "No water types!" it screams and shouts.

hehe creature

they are all 5 pixels tall in his screenshot.... so tiny...

KETTLE EVOLUTION!!!! darling child baby boy.....

chills possession arc went crazy

litte creatures....

im going to be so fr rn. i did not watch the rest of the stream because i had work in the morning and did not want to stay until 12am for the HGSS anniversary... guys i have to pay my BILLS.

so if anyone was there and wants to submit a quick summary of the events then that transpired, then do tell me!!!

the stream is still ongoing if its september 11th so... :)

ADDED POKEMON: +7 LOST POKEMON: 0 NET POKEMON: +7

[shadowsif]

What are your favourite ifs/WiPs?

So this got out of hand. And then my internet crashed and my Tumblr crashed and I had to rewrite this all… I might have missed something and I could rec more, but I need to keep this readable length.

The first one I ever read: Zombie Exodus: Safe Heaven. This was before I followed any creators on the forums/Tumblr. Liked it and played multiple times the first few chapters but I have not kept up with it. Of the published I’ve read or started a lot of them but nowadays WIPs are flying high above most of them in terms of quality. My taste has also evolved, you could say.

The big, long, angsty ones:

A Mage Reborn by @mage-parivir

Long, good story in high fantasy world with anime influenced vibes. Good RO choices and other NPCs. Some stat balancing and actually reading stuff to get the results I wanted required, which is why I needed to start it a few times before I got over my hang-ups and got really into it.

Shepherds of Haven by @shepherds-of-haven

Epic high fantasy story in a deep and thoroughly thought-out world. LOTS of Ros (Trouble is my <3) and NPCs. Also involves keeping track of your stats and thinking before choices. Long one. I mean, really long. In tone, to me, a bit darker than A Mage Reborn even with the BBQ. I have at times wondered how well this could turn into an video game.

I, the Forgotten one by Bacondoneright (the work is on Dashingdon but has no Tumblr)

No magic but an eastern European inspired world. This might not be for everyone as it deals heavily with wartimes in ‘realistic’ medieval world. Involving homophobia, misogyny and lots of death and adult themes. I played a male MC to skip some of that. Lots of stat balancing and following, hard choices and angst. So much angst. You will have to be in a certain mood and have hours of time to read through it but if this sounds something that you’d like to try I encourage it. The writing and plot are really good and the overall quality is better than most. But it’s a hard read.

Mind Blind by @mindblindbard

Modern superhero world where you play a nobody in a family of somebodies. Good mystery, lots of angst and awesome ROs and NPCs. (Grayson has my <3) Not so stat heavy than the others. To my knowledge is close to being finished and I can’t wait to throw money at it.

The Exile by @exilethegame

All the angst. Oh my god the angst. A fantasy world with ‘monster hybrid’ people and you’re exiled and suffering and nothing is going to be good again. The last update left me infuriated. If it would be badly written I could stop reading it and be happy again but no. Have to keep going back. 10/10 would recommend.

The Northern Passage by @northern-passage

Even if I’ve never played or watched the show this has Witcher vibes. I’m sure I will die or kill someone accidentally or something else horrible. Lea is what keeps me going back. The asshole. Love it.

The shorter, angsty ones:

Ouroboros by @honeypeabrain

Plants. Lots of plants in a fantasy, slightly apocalyptic world. The world is really intriguing and the plot pulled me in at the start. Loved especially the option to customize one of the possible Ros. Can’t wait for where the story goes and the RO routes that have been teased. (I have not made up my minds who I like the most)

Ripper’s Plague by @ripperplague

One I have recommended before. Steampunk world where you are a ‘mad’ doctor with past full of trauma. The humour is fun and the story is turning up to be intriguing, even though not all the major players have been introduced yet. Love the way everyone just casually hits on the MC. It’s hilarious.

The not so angsty ones:

College Tennis: Origin Story by @allieebobo

Play tennis, go to college, annoy, and charm everyone while succeeding at everything. Or that’s how I play it. Gets really into the actual games and tennis but everything is written by a person who clearly knows what they are doing so it’s all good. Recommend it even if you’re not into tennis. Living like a jock is fun.

Anything written by @leftski-if

Lots of monster romances (werewolves, vampires, orcs etc.) Light hearted stories in more serious worlds. For more mature readers, not because of NSFW but of tone that’s written with more mature readers in mind. (at least to me) You want a good, hard hug from a RO that’s three times your size? These have it.

The adventures of Sherlock Holmes- An affair of the heart by @doriana-gray-games

It’s Sherlock Holmes but make it actually gay (if you want to). The writing equals the originals by sucking the reader in. There’s murders and mysteries and maybe the tone is not especially light but to me Sherlock Holmes and the stories are comfort read and so is this. Can’t wait to meet H of the ROs, but in the mean time Lestrade is and awkward duck who gives me sandwiches.

 Defiled Hearts: The Barbarian by @defiledheartsblog

Look. Listen. Does the story start with your family being murdered and you being sneaky and enlisting to the Roman army? Yes. Do I still consider this more light-hearted one because I’m having too much fun being pain in Marcus’ backside? Yes. I really need to restart another save and be less confrontational and before I get myself murdered at some point when I’m caught. The writer knows a lot of Roman times, and the Picts while taking liberties to introduce inclusivity and fantasy elements.

Ifs with really short demo so I haven’t really got into them yet because of that but the premise sounds awesome:

Absentia by @absentia-if

Having been ten years stuck in a void and then coming back without time passing for you. What could go wrong?

Sinners and Saints by @sinnersandsaints-linwrites

Hah! I’m in danger!

Novaturient by @kalorphic

Smexy agents doing secret agents things. Gimme.

Shoutouts to things I have read but weren’t for me at the time:

Citadel- A medical Romantic Drama by @bouncyballcitadel

Writing and medical knowledge top notch. Unfortunately, I’m still recovering from the last semester and couldn’t focus enough to read with thought and failed at everything. Which caused me to quit, start again next day from the start and then rinse and repeat. Will have to try again at some point when I have more spoons.

Blood Moon by @barbwritesstuff

Modern werewolf story. Awesome writing and lovable characters. Is to my knowledge finished if you don’t count editing, rewrites etc. Have played it about but not the last few updates. Another one I’ll try again when I find my spoons somewhere.

There are lots more that I follow or read but these came to mind. I also acknowledge that I have a problem with remembering names and have a bad habit of skipping paragraphs while reading, so I tend to forget especially shorter ones. I have not included ones without demos because I have gotten my heart broken a few times when the creators disappeared after posting awesome premises but no demos.

This got really long… Hope this was informative?

[darlingbudsofrae]

Neil Josten Appreciation Post

Foxes Appreciation Series : 1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7 || 8 || 9 || 10 ||

Alright, let’s just start this by addressing the big elephant in the room: everyone loves Neil Josten. EVERYONE.

If you don’t, you’re lying. 

Okay, first up- I’m glad this is getting addressed more on AFTG tumblr but Neil is literally so much smarter than the fandom gives him credit for.

Like yes, he’s a little dumdum on the social aspect of things (you could argue he kind of has a low EQ but also not really, I would argue that later)

but that doesn’t dismiss that he is smart af and that he can kill you and make it look natural if he wants.

For example, he literally outrun and hid from the mafia for years. Like, that in itself is an obvious point but we often forget that he did this at a very young age.

Like, he was presumably what? 16?? (when Mary kicked the bucket?) And kid was already playing hide and seek pretty well with a freaking mafia.

He does not get enough credit for this.

The survival skills it takes- the mental strength to survive as a runaway and technically he’s also homeless- at freaking 16, that’s just insane.

Also, let’s not mention the fact that it takes skills to forge official papers and all that.

We also do not talk enough about Neil and how he freaking have to relearn an entirely new position just to play exy.

I don’t think most remember that he’s actually a backliner, but have to play as a striker because it was the only available position in that local high school he attended in Millport, and that was how Kevin saw him so he was recruited as a striker.

We also additionally do not talk enough about how Kevin “literal and figurative Son of Exy” Day found potential for court in Neil “I’m a backliner but I’m playing striker because it’s the only thing available and I’m an exy junkie” Josten who only played it for like a year or less. 

Like yeah, Kevin said he needs more training but it’s not even Neil’s official position. 

The talent on this man- I cannot, he is such an icon. 

Aside from his great survival skills and being literally great at picking things up- he’s also like freaking academically smart.

Like that also doesn’t get enough credit- I mean, he does math for fun.

Frankly, I think if you did Kumon or if you had an awesome teacher you could also do math for fun (I know I did) but this should be noted with the fact that he didn’t have proper schooling.

He went on a run at a really young age so there is no way he received formal education.

Which means he is naturally like really smart.

He’s also a polyglot. And the languages he has under his belt are all freaking difficult to learn- like, no kidding: French, German, and he can assumingly speak intermediate Spanish, and we don’t even have an idea if this is all the languages he can speak.

Also, he and Andrew learns how to speak Russian, right? Like, that’s crazy.

The brain on this man and the power that he has- my son, I am so proud.

I mean, for all we know- there’s more than that and the fact that he’s like 18 at TFC screams supremacy.

This is where I argue about his EQ but Neil is crazy perceptive.

It took him like freaking 3 seconds to figure out the team dynamics the foxes have, and how to work against it.

He later figured out how to make it all mesh together.

Like the way he do things isn’t conventional but reading him analyze his team despite his lack of empathy really makes me shudder.

Like, this kid is so freaking smart. I remember reading his thought process for the very first time and being like, okay- I definitely did not think about that.

The main problem with his EQ though is that he doesn’t know how to process positive stuff when he’s involved, but when he’s the outsider- his perspective is so amazing.

Like again, he kind of lacks empathy but the way he understands things and is just so sharp is just noteworthy.

I’d argue he doesn’t understand social cues and “modern teen things” but he isn’t so completely clueless on the social aspect in general as to not manipulate an entire team of misfits with issues to work together.

He’s literally the key to unity in AFTG. Even Dan says so.

Also, the way he puts things into play- like he’s a master manipulator, and I love that for him.

We do not talk enough about manipulative Neil, like I just really love manipulative characters in general so much- especially if they’re just owning it. 

I mean, he freaking manipulated Andrew and Aaron into therapy. Kind of evil but also wow. (just a sidenote, please don’t force people into therapy lol)

Going completely dark for a second, Neil also has a freaking high pain tolerance.

The amount of horrible things he went through in the books were just so sad and the fact that he just kind of moves on from it? That’s just completely oh my gods.

My poor summer child, even if you can kill me at any given time, let me just hug you for a second with consent.

Everyone also gives shit about Neil’s fashion choices and granted it is said he kind of bags the homeless looks but the fact that he values utility above all else-

Yes, we stan a resourceful king. 

Lowkey though, am I the only one who appreciate Neil’s average style?

Speaking of style- I love the way Neil narrates. Like, the way he doesn’t give much attention to how the character looks- it’s just so realistic?

Because if I’m talking to a person in real life, there is no way I am noting how his blue polo makes him kind of casual but clean-cut and how his brown eyes is as warm as my morning coffee. Like, who even does that?

The thing with Neil’s narration is that it’s just so authentic- like it easily engages the readers and the way he gives importance to every thing the same way, it really makes it easier for the reader to discern things objectively, y’know what I mean?

He just has that quality in a main character and narrator- he’s laidback and sarcastic but not trying too hard, and he’s just really easy to love.

Like, I normally don’t like narrators/main characters in books because I favor a side character more or just because they’re annoying, but Neil Josten is legit lovable. 

At the same time, he’s also a really well-written character. Like, for all the technicalities I point out in AFTG, Neil is an asshole. He’s not perfect and I don’t 100% love everything that he does and I love that.

He’s a flawed character but he gives you something to root for- and I just really want to appreciate his characterization for a second. Most books make their characters’ flaws not even their fault to put a check to the flawed character but at the same time still have that perfect character. Eeww, no- give me real flaws to work with.

He’s one of the realest protagonists I ever read.

Like people give him shit for wanting to hide but also choosing to play a nationwide-discerned sport on an infamous collegiate team but for me it’s kind of realistic.

Because I think we, as human beings, also do things we love too much regardless of logic. I don’t know, like it’s kind of funny the way Neil is written but I honestly didn’t see him joining Palmetto as a loophole.

Like, just think of all those successful people who hid their identities via pseudonym or other necessary means to do things they weren’t expected to do or weren’t allowed to do.

For me, his character was really just looking for excuses to play his favorite sport a second longer and if anything, that’s just kind of sad.

But also, his dedication and love to exy is really admirable- like I never understood it but the way he literally does everything to stay on the court for a second longer just makes me want to root for him.

On a random note, Neil may not have an eidetic memory like Andrew’s but the way he memorize most phone numbers by heart? 

Bruh, I don’t even have my phone number memorized and I freaking have it for two years now. 

He also memorizes every twists and turns at every trip, every exits at a room he enters, and most people’s tics upon the first meeting, and other things and that’s just crazy perceptive but also really crazy on another level.

Also, we don’t get much ace/demi representation and out of the few I’ve consumed, demi Neil Josten validates me. He’s legit my favorite character that belongs in the ace spec in books.

I just really love Neil’s character so much- he’s just so amazing.

One thing I always appreciate about Neil Josten is that while he’s not a total angel (sadly), the way he loves the foxes- like he legit tried to mend the team and make sure everyone is going to be okay before walking straight to his death- like I’m with Andrew on this one, what a fucking martyr. Why are you like this and why am I crying?

Neil Josten is by all means not soft, that much is established, but the way he’s just still as precious and must be protected at all costs-

"You know, I get it," Neil said. "Being raised as a superstar must be really, really difficult for you. Always a commodity, never a human being, not a single person in your family thinking you're worth a damn off the court—yeah, sounds rough. Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time."

I love him, your honor- where can I file this adoption papers and do I have anything else to sign?

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free

[awsydawnarts]

I posted 5,031 times in 2021

98 posts created (2%)

4933 posts reblogged (98%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 50.3 posts.

I added 394 tags in 2021

#mine - 98 posts

#camp cretaceous spoilers - 51 posts

#camp cretaceous - 45 posts

#rwby - 44 posts

#rwby spoilers - 44 posts

#yes - 31 posts

#jwcc - 27 posts

#rwby v9 - 23 posts

#oh my god - 17 posts

#nora valkyrie - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#y’all don’t understand i live in a place where you get surrounded by a literal cloud of those fuckers if you stop walking in the evening

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Me: I really love and appreciate the fact that Ren never gives any indication that he values Nora for her physical appearance. It’s a nice way to shake up the typical m/f dynamic by having her compliment him rather than the other way around, and it fits into the popular headcanon that Ren is somewhere on the asexual spectrum. It’s also really nice to see that a woman like Nora, who is energetic and bubbly and crazy and SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH, can be valued for those very qualities, not despite them.

Also me: If Ren Doesn’t Tell Nora That She’s Pretty Sometime I Will break Through My Screen And Do It Myself

133 notes • Posted 2021-04-20 08:01:32 GMT

#4

Too soon?

133 notes • Posted 2021-03-28 05:30:33 GMT

#3

Something I’ve noticed during my rewatches of the show is that Brooklynn’s…kinda clumsy???

It’s not super obvious, but there’s some moments that I don’t think others get the equivalent of, like when she drops her phone in the gyrospheres, falls over on what are essentially flat surfaces while running from dinosaurs (Indominus in season one, Baryonyxes in season two), and has this whole mini battle with a cup that almost falls down the stairs that anyone else in the group could have probably just grabbed in one swipe without having to toss it around and then fling themselves on it. There’s probably a few more that I’m forgetting, too.

My point is. I. LOVE. How that’s included. Usually when a girl character is clumsy it’s basically her whole personality. “Oh she’s SO clumsy cuz she’s QUIRKY and RELATABLE and not a Mary Sue because she’s FLAWED!!!” She bemoans how clumsy she is. Everyone around her makes a big deal out of it. It’s used repeatedly for comedy and “Oh my, she fell down onto her love interest!!!” I’m SO sick of seeing it. So for it to be included as something so subtle that it’s almost a headcanon is ridiculously refreshing, and actually WORKS as something endearing the way it’s supposed to be because it’s not being hammered into you.

134 notes • Posted 2021-05-26 07:28:43 GMT

#2

The Ship That Must Not Be Named is slowly killing my soul

139 notes • Posted 2021-12-03 09:22:15 GMT

#1

Lmao I was going through my pictures and found this meme that I made after v 8 episode 4 and I wanted to share it

329 notes • Posted 2021-05-14 21:58:25 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[dragonbabezee]

Fictional Crush Series No.7

Have we made it to the 90′s yet?  We have!

What’s this you say?  The Outlander series didn’t premier until 2014?  Well!  There just happens to be an antiquated technology called books in with this particular tale was first created.

Let me set the scene.  It’s 1993.  I’m at the library with my dad.  I feel like I’ve read the entire YA section, and I’ve run out of David Eddings and Anne McCaffery books to read.  I complain to my dad that I have sucked this library dry.  He reaches into the Returned Today Shelf of unsorted books and grabs one at random.  “Here, you haven’t read this yet.”  It was this, a first edition copy of Outlander:

Perhaps he though it was an historical novel set in the highlands.  It kind of is...?  

To prove to him that plucking ugly books at random off the shelf was no was to pick a quality read, I read it.   First came intrigue, then delight, then fascination and compulsion, then welling tides of love and lust, and the feels! So many feels!

For those very few who are still unfamiliar with the Outlander universe, it’s a genre-bending book and series, especially the first three books, combining historical fiction, time travel, romance, blood, gore, sexual violence, medical ickiness, touches of mythical fantasy and magic, mystery, and a big slabbing helping of hot sexy sex.  

https://www.deviantart.com/aryundomiel/art/the-heart-asks-pleasure-first-181601743

Oh, and this hunk of red-blooded, red-haired Scot!

That means “I am ready” for everyone who doesn’t read French or hasn’t read the book.  I was 15.  I was ready.  My parents may have disagreed if they had known what was behind that twee bookcover.

James Alexander Malcolm McKenzie Fraser, Jamie to some, and JAMMF to the old school fandom.  Oh course, now we have Sam Heughan to envision Jamie as, but back in the day we used a read words off a page and picture Jamie et al in our minds.   I don’t think they did a bad job of casting Jamie.  Sam is of course, too short, and his hair is not red enough, but I give it a pass.

What makes Jamie Fraser a worthy subject of a lasting fictional crush that rocked my world?  He is an enlightened and modern thinker of the Enlightenment era, meaning that he does still kinda believe in witches and faeries, but also in science, and can eventually be persuaded to not beat his wife for wrongdoing (after a knife to the throat).  He is a soldier, a mercenary, an expert swordsman, can ride any horse, even a demonic stallion that no one else can master, a farmer, a landlord, a leader of men, a student of science and progress, a virgin at the beginning of the first book, and a sex-god by the end of it.  

Packaged in a 6 foot 6 Viking-esque warrior’s body, like a red-haired, blue-eyed demon set on Earth to sway our time-travelling heroine Claire off the path of marital fidelity.  It could be said that he is the ultimate Gary Sue.  He does have flaws though, mostly pertaining to pride and being a man of his day, even if he is a progressive one.  He is the prototype that launched a thousand Highlander romance novels.

The most singularly swoonworthy thing about Jamie though is how much he loves his woman.  The end.

https://www.deviantart.com/ellaine/art/Blood-and-Bone-567354322

https://www.deviantart.com/ellaine/art/Wild-strawberries-576708467

You want more detail?  Oh, fine, SPOILERS AHEAD.

He will save his wife from his worst and most feared enemy, armed only with an unloaded pistol, even though he thinks she’s probably an English spy bent on turning him and his folk as traitors to the crown.

https://www.deviantart.com/lehanan/art/Outlander-Take-your-hands-off-my-wife-486871484

He will single-handedly rescue her from the midst of a witch trial that is in the process of condemning her, even though he’s fairly sure she really is a witch.

He will trade his soul and his body to keep her alive.  He will believe the insane truths she tells him, and based on them, betray his kin and his King.  What impressionable young hetro woman doesn’t want that level of devotion from her man?

At the opening of the book, Jamie has already been through a lot - imprisonment and two disfiguring floggings, exile, the soldiers life. near starvation, serious head injury, family intrigue, the death of both his parents....and he’s only 22.  And yet, Jamie is still fairly optimistic character, aside for when he or his wife are getting tortured, raped, nearly killed etc.  He’s not one to wallow unnecessarily in his Man Pain.  Until he is, and then grab the popcorn and watch Claire drain the pool.

While we’re here, I’d like to point out a few unexpected treats and differences that I got from the show that I didn’t get from the books.

1) Jamie’s knees

2)  The flogging and several other violent scenes that were disturbing enough in the books became Extremely Uncomfortable and Upsetting Viewing.  If you’ve seen the show or read the books you probably know what scenes I am talking about.

3) they didn’t hold back on the sex scenes.  Many gifs from the various scenes would get this post removed from Tumblr.  Many were so hot I was blushing whilst watching it alone.  DO NOT WATCH WITH YOUR PARENTS.

I have read all the books of course, though I mainly concentrated on the first one here, the one that spawned my crush.  IT was a couple of years before I got my hands on books 2 and 3, and the fourth one hadn’t been written yet (I did get to go to a book signing and have my copy of Drums of Autumn signed by Diana Gabadon, Herself!).  My parents remembered my love for the series, unfortunately, and tried watching the TV when it came out.  My dad finally saw the error of plucking a book at random from a shelf to give to his 15 year old daughter to read.

[saecookie]

Tag 5 or more people that you are thankful were in your 2020, that you’re thankful exists in a world that’s hard to live in. Whether that be through random reblogs on your posts, or people you have had full blown conversations with. Whether it’s just seeing them on your dash, or interacting with them.

Please Spread this love. 2020 has been hard for so SO many of us.

Tagged by @ineffable-yikes and oh god you’re a darling <3. I hope you know that and get a warm and cozy day and all the good things you deserve in your lil corner of the world ! Keep it up, you’re a gem, honestly, and as always, I’m proud of you !

Now let me get into a rant because. BECAUSE. Because I love loving people.

@maddiesup MADDIE ILU. I  cannot express how lucky I feel to be able to just. Kick in your  messages and just ramble or scream or. You know. Ilu ilu.

@gay-impressionist   hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. hhhhhhh. Les meilleures soirées de l’univers  rohlalala. Tellement contente de pouvoir te parler je. Je sais pas quoi  dire. <3 <3  

@megabadbunny my love my beauty my darling I am so very gay for you and your bunnies and your face and the light you shine and hhhh I don’t know how we evolved from tumblr once in a while cutie comments to I’M GONNA BONK YOU IN THE HEAD AND You’RE GONNA FEEL BETTER and I really, really love you and you’re so dear to me.

@sparklingwaterbabie can you believe we got to see each other in 2020 ? It seems so far away----. But what an incredible wonderful moment I had with you, I really really had the time of my life. I’ll def never see a kermit the same way :’).

@gingerteaonthetardis  HHHHHHHHHH oh boi. What can I say ? You’re so. Such a wonderful person ?  And I adore you ? And the way you seem to FEEL things and I vibe so  much with it and and and. You’re so bright. I really really really love  to see you around and listen to you talk about things and. Sending you  cute mushroom stickers. You’re forever linked to cute forest stuff in my  mind now. You’re trapped.

@i-lost-a-flip-flop i love you ??? so much ???? what I can I say ??????? I just do ???? Like, it’s so easy to talk and share and open up and. Yeah. I’m really, really so happy I met you (even if it wasn’t strictly in 2020 but you’ve been a soothing presence all throughout this year so YEAH).

@smallblueandloud honestly same I just. Really really love having you around. You’re spirited and clever and witted and I can just barge in and scream about my feelings and that’s so precious you have no idea. You’re a comforting presence and a safe person.

@galiifreyrose listen I’m not gonna say anything. You’re safe and musically galaxy brain and I feel like I share so much and you’re a new person to me and I’m not coherent but I don’t care. Yo’ure. Everything. 2020 would not have looked this way without you. I fucking love you so much and timezones and geography have never been so punitive. I. Just. Want to hug you and spend time with you and. Just be with you. (Guess I did say something...)

@effervescentdragon ooooh now I know you’re in your exam and I get to write this. Listen Aki. I’m. Beyond grateful that I’ve been able to meet you. And scream with you. And then vibe and share and talk and discover you and. It’s been a very few month, and a very few eventful month, so I guess there’s still a lot of things to be said and a lot of things we could disagree on, but honestly ? I just feel like we match ? And. You told me once “I don’t care, just talk to me about the emotions”. Well that’s this kind of moment, when I don’t have sentences, just emotions. Full of them. I’m sure you’re killing your exam. I send you all the best hugs you like. (I didn’t even start on how many freaking qualities you’re full of but it’s already getting a bit long and sappy...)

@goneadrift always such a pleasure to see you around honestly <3. It’s been a few years now that we’re mutuals and I couldn’t imagine my dash without you. And your fma viewing gave me LIFE.

@demoiselledefortune always a familiar presence on my dash, it would be v weird without you honestly, and I love seeing all those passionate reblog I don’t understand a thing about, like. Really. There’s a whole aesthetic that I love.

@skyler10fic listen Skyler I  absolutely adore you ok ? You’re such a bright spirit and. I really  vibe with everything you say ? haha. ALL THE HUGS TO YOU.

@elialys I’m ? So grateful ? For you ? I don’t know how to express it ? You’re so smart and talented and a good friend and and and. How are you you ? I wish I was able to TALK MORE but you know, stuff. I’m really grateful for you.

@booksandwoollysocks you’re so precious ? And I can’t wait to post this letter ? hhhhhh I’m really impatient. I love everything about what you blog and your opinions and everything. <3

@yellowsuedeshoes I’m shit at talking and I WILL have to try Destiny at one point because there’s no reason we’re the two europeans connected late at night and not making the most of it. I’m so glad I met you and got to talk to you so much in vc !

@melusine0811 Oh wow how my life changed since you messaged me on tumblr haha ! I’ll never thank you enough to show you gratitude. You’re so brave and so strong and I love being around you and don’t ever think I don’t appreciate you to the moon and back whaveter dumb brain says !

@crazyrose912 meeting you was such luck. You’re lovely and caring and strong and I can’t think of someone more peaceful than you. You really are the calm presence around here for me <3.

@cleverlittlejay you’re a gem and even if I’m shit at talking I really love every little message we exchange and fandom we don’t share and I wish I could just come and hug you !

@emjee I like following you so much because I discover SO MANY THINGS thanks to you and I. Just love seeing people being passionnate and. Yeah. So many hugs your way.

@elwenn-dreaming listen I always love seeing all your lil comments about stuff and posts and good providing of lotr meme and I’m sending you all the strenght I think you need to go through these 2 (maybe +) years because they can be good and I really hope they will be for you, you deserve it !!

@lastbluetardis hfsdgdkjfghdfjgflhg. All the love. And the vibing. And the video games. And the reading. And the sharing. And the feelings. I. You know. Still the “how are we the same age you’re so much more EVERYTHING”/”NO YOU” and I really love you and I wish I could just. Be more with you.

@doctorrosetennant oooooh you’re so sweet and precious and I’m so glad I got to meet you this year and we’re able to get each others back. Honestly this year would have been very different if I hadn’t met you all, really <3.

@timeladyofthesith I know we don’t talk much and everything but. I first met you through your writing and it. Really did something to me. And now I know you a little and you’re such a bright and spirited person and I really admire you ? And your cosplaying is gold ? And you’re so funny ? uuuuh we don’t deserve you.

@tardisinateapot meeting you was a gift and I’m grateful I can exist in your orbit and your wise and funny words and. Thanks for your grounding presence. You’re a gem and I love you <3.

@temporary-dysphoria I discovered your writing this years and WOW. It did something to me. And I’m very, very grateful for that, and thank you for your stories and for all your good content and opinions and I’d send you hugs if I knew if you’re comfortable with them, but without that knowledge let’s just say I wish it’s getting better your way !

@naromoreau (typing your @ I just discovered that I’ve always called you naNomoreau.... SORRY) I also discovered your writing this years and it’s so special and I’m so happy I did. Thank you for all your stories <3 <3.

@chocolatequeennk you’re a gem you’re a treasure I feel so safe and seen with you and I hope I can provide something good too and you make me so happy and just. Seeing you everyday. And your smiles. And the bad days. You’re just. hhhhhhhhhhh <3 <3.

@wildchildamandaa you know what ? Meeting you has been a gift. A real true gift because you’re so kind and soft and gentle and funny and adorable and I just want to hang out more because I’m just. Blown away by how cool and great and nice and strong you are. Iluvmuch.

@pellaaearien mgngngnngngn I really adore you and you being so NICE and I really don’t want it to be in the bad way because I know it can be a struggle but you’re really gentle and kind and generous and. Thanks for being around <3.

@sunnibits WELCOME TO TOLKIEN FANDOM you’re so smart and funny and I don’t really know you but you always me smile >w< !

@xyloophones lrehfdgdfkjg I LOVE YOU ? You’RE SO SPECIAL AND PERFECT AND YOU just. Get it when I’m screaming stuff and. I really really love talking to you and you’re such a warm person to be around. All cozy <3.

Other people I’m grateful for ! @tolkien-understands @turtle-pond-stims @finn-shitposts @hinamie @oreliel-from-valinor @charlottemadison42 @cleowho @letters-to-lgbt-kids @obiwanobi @eccleston @smolshoma1 @narootos and I’m forgetting a ton of people but. YEAH.

[gayspock]

oh and also

- also still thinking further abt worf, & how well he's gonna fit into ds9: i still regard it as early days, see, so i guess im still... also wondering what story HE himself has here? i mean, i get it: he's recovering from losing his place on the enterprise, one of the few places he finally found a home in and i like that avenue? like, good he found himself a home; but its also good to learn to grow past tht, and whatnot... but nonetheless hmm. im trying to imagine how he will be on ds9. trying to imagine his purpose i the show and all this. im most likely thinking to deeply abt it but im like now where do i see worf contributing to all of thsi and what story do i see him exploring in the contesxt o the show... its kinda hard to conceptualise idk

(- i also had a big ramble abt the way tumblr treats found family tropes here and how weirdass some thoughts are on them but i cut it out bc we cant deal with that. sozzy.)

- i also rlly like having him as a means to compare tng to ds9. its nice. this little chat tht sisko just had with him, abt how it's different on deep space nine- yeah, nice...<3

- however again i think i rambled abt, like, worf still does feel like a choice im unsure of omg. i mean idk. he IS the best fitting person but also its like... in terms of, like, balancing the cast? idk, its still hard to see him fit in, even if vibes wise he works. its just i think it's just his qualities are fulfilled by, like, so many of the other characters in different ways and so im like idk... chemistry wise i cant rlly feel much with him and the rest, other than the very good chemistry he has with jadzia (and some nice back and forth with sisko, admittedly)

- anyways why am i rambling abt word agian help

- also god god god. i was doing those tier lists yeah and u can see community opinions yeah. and never make me do that again. not only bc i saw bitches rate julian the SAME tier as kai winn (i could kill you) but also bc my god. a little suspect with how you guys put keiko and kasidy at the shit tier. granted idk how it goes with kasidy yet but shes literally just chillin. leave her alone.

-hang on i . i was abt to talk more but the episod just

[panharmonium]

Merlin and Naruto

I did Merlin here, so here’s Naruto! :D

[disclaimer for everyone: I have only watched up through Season 10 of Shippuden (the arc with the Five Kage Summit), and I am trying to avoid spoilers for everything after that point, so please don’t interact with this (including tags, because tumblr shows them to me automatically) unless you are avoiding ALL spoilers.  For me, this includes discussion about whether you like/dislike future seasons, comparisons of various seasons in terms of quality, etc.  Thanks, everyone! <3]

My favorite parent-child relationship: I know they’re not blood-related, but Iruka and Naruto have me crying every time I see them together.  Naruto straight-up says that when he’s with Iruka he feels like he knows what it’s like to have a father, and honestly, Iruka loves Naruto so much at this point that he would insta-adopt him if Naruto asked.  I love how Naruto always cites Iruka as the first person who cared for him even later in the show when Iruka hasn’t had as much screentime, and when I saw Iruka cry because he’s so proud of Naruto at the end of the Pain arc, it was just...too much for my little heart to handle.

My favorite sibling relationship: You know, thinking about it, almost all of the people in Naruto are only children, as far as we know!  But in terms of just that sibling vibe - Sakura and Naruto definitely give me that feel.  I know he has a crush on her, but their relationship has always felt more sibling-like to me, and I especially love how deep their bond has become by the time we get to Shippuden.  They are just so comfortable with each other now - the depth of the love and friendship they feel for each other is palpable.  

My favorite family relationship (other): I adore Naruto’s relationship with Jiraiya.  That scene where Naruto falls asleep against his back almost killed me, and Jiraiya’s later line, “Your smile is my salvation” - that was too much.  It absolutely destroyed me.  The way Jiraiya kind of gave up on everything after his old life went to hell - neverending wars, Orochimaru gone, his original students dead, his student’s students dead, Minato dead - he just ran away after that, and it was meeting Naruto that kind of rekindled that spark of hope in him and helped him reconnect with his community and rediscover a sense of purpose in his life.  Naruto enabled him to finally come home, and I think that’s beautiful.

My favorite friendship between two people: There are so many friendships in Naruto that I love (one of the greatest things about this show for me has been how little focus is given to romantic relationships, at least so far; it’s very much a friendship-oriented show), but right now I’m in a bit of a Kakashi-Yamato hole.  I was super primed to not like Yamato when he first showed up, because him being there meant that my favorite character WASN’T there, and also he ended up replacing Kakashi on the one mission where the team finally found Sasuke, but the guy won me over in the end.  He is one of my favorite characters now - my heart just swells every time I see him - and I think his relationship with Kakashi is super interesting.  I’ve written before about how Kakashi’s only truly intimate friendships are with people who are dead, and I do think that applies when it comes to Yamato, too, even though the two of them are obviously very companionable and close.  There is still a level to that relationship where Kakashi is a bit of a mentor figure, the “superior officer,” which results in a degree of (still friendly and affectionate) distance.  And as with all of his other relationships, Kakashi doesn’t really confide in Yamato about his life or open up to him in the same way that he does when he talks to his dead friends - but at the same time, there is an element to their relationship that doesn’t exist in Kakashi’s other friendships, and it’s the fact that Kakashi trusts Yamato with his kids, implicitly and without reservation.  Kakashi’s entire life right now is very much enmeshed in what happens to his students, and even if he doesn’t necessarily talk about that with Yamato, Yamato is still deeply involved in that work.  Yamato VOLUNTEERED for that work.  And he continues to dedicate himself to it even when his first mission as Kakashi’s stand-in ends up going completely off the rails and turning into WAY more than he signed up for.  He keeps doing his utmost for Kakashi’s kids without it even being his original responsibility, and that is such an unusual thing, for Kakashi, who in every other circumstance is always the one stepping in to help other people, the one who always shoulders his burdens alone.  Nobody ever asks Kakashi if he needs help with these incredibly high-needs children, and neither does Yamato - but the difference is that Yamato jumps in to help regardless, and he stays no matter how complicated things get.  That’s huge, and it’s only going to become more important.  It’s just - it is difficult for Kakashi to have intimate friendships with people who don’t share his history, and this rules out almost everybody else in the world, because all the people who truly share his own history are dead.  But the degree to which Yamato has altruistically and irreversibly entwined himself into the most important parts of Kakashi’s new history - the chapters being written right now, the ones that are going to define the rest of Kakashi’s life - means that Yamato is well on his way to breaking through that wall and becoming the first exception to a universal rule. [There is a lot to be said on Kakashi’s side of this, too, like - every time Kakashi refuses to call Yamato by his code name I lose my mind just a little bit, and I have MANY thoughts about Kakashi basically dragging folks who’ve been victimized or exploited or experimented on out of ANBU and then absorbing them into his own team, where they become a part of a family-type unit that respects them and cares about them and treats them like human beings.  I mean, there’s a huge difference between the Yamato we meet in S2 vs. the Yamato we know in S10 (and the same thing goes for Sai!) - and that’s something I think about a lot.]

My favorite friendship between a group:  I love all of the team dynamics, but Team Gai is a fave XD  The absurd contrast between oh-so-serious Neji vs. Gai/Lee’s incredible goofiness (with Tenten’s exasperation in between) is comedy gold.  I screamed with laughter in S1 when Gai was trying to get Neji to put his hand in the circle and do their “shout a slogan like a sports team” thing - I’ve never seen anything funnier on this show than jonin!Neji trying to put up with Gai’s antics.  

My favorite mentorship: My favorite mentorship is always Kakashi and whichever kid happens be onscreen with him at that moment, but I’ll be honest and say that Kakashi+Sasuke was the first dynamic that got me actually invested in this show (as opposed to me just watching it because it was on and not really caring what happened to any of the characters).  They are still the mentorship dynamic about which I have the most complex feelings, and that is especially true after the last season we watched.  I will probably end up making a separate post about this, because I still have not written down all of my thoughts about the end of Season 10 and I am still trapped in my feelings about this very lost child and the only adult who ever tried to help him the way he deserved to be helped, and I know I have way more to say about them than I can reasonably fit in this bullet point.  But - the short version is that I am super compelled by the way that every tragedy that’s befallen Kakashi is precisely what shapes him into the only adult who can help this particular kid, the way seemingly senseless events ended up putting Kakashi in a position where he’s the only adult who can intervene on this kid’s behalf many, many years later.  The way Sasuke’s plight (and the potential that Kakashi has to help him) suddenly grants meaning to the worst parts of Kakashi’s life - that knocks me on my butt.  

My favorite rivalry: So I probably would not have said this until the episode where Kakashi comes three seconds away from being made Hokage, but I’m gonna say Gai & Kakashi, solely to express my love and appreciation for Gai in that episode.  This is the ep where Gai challenges Kakashi to a race through the entire village (as a sort of “last hurrah before we can’t do this kind of silly shit anymore” thing) and Kakashi is initially kind of reluctant to do it, because he’s stressed out about a lot of things, but he does end up agreeing to it, and then he has SO much fun, and I LOVED this so much; I can’t even tell you.  This moment takes place immediately after Kakashi returns from that horrible, awful confrontation with Sasuke, and everything preceding this scene was very hard for me to see, because everybody is just asking Kakashi to do more and more and more for them without giving him even a hot minute to be like “i almost just killed my own kid.  i almost just had to kill my own kid, who was trying to kill my other kid, who was trying to kill kid #1 first, so i wouldn’t have assume the burden of killing him myself.”  Nobody checks on him, nobody asks, and Kakashi has to just hold onto that horror and also fret over the uncertain yet chilling secrets that Madara Uchiha disclosed and also prepare to shoulder the crushing weight of an office he never asked for - AND THEN.  GAI SHOWS UP.  And even though Gai doesn’t really know what happened, he still checks Kakashi over from top to bottom to make sure he’s in one piece, and then he drags him into this stupid competition, and it makes Kakashi LAUGH.  They go running all out across the craterized scene of devastation that used to be their home, and they have FUN doing it, and Kakashi straight-up tells Gai, “This was just what I needed,” which - god.  It would be great if Kakashi had somebody he could actually talk to, sure, but there’s also a space in our lives for people who just cheer us up, no questions asked.  It’s like when you tell someone you have a problem and they ask, “Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted?”  Sometimes you don’t need to talk about it.  Sometimes you just need people who will take you for a goofy footrace and make you feel like you’re running too fast for any of your troubles to ever touch you again, for a few minutes. 

My favorite hatred/antipathy: The answer to this question used to be Kakashi and Itachi, and while I’m even MORE fascinated by their dynamic now than ever, it’s taken on a whole new dimension, given that I think Itachi is (secretly) thrilled to see someone like Kakashi so committed to taking him down and keeping Sasuke safe.  So, in place of that, I’ll just say that I love how much all of the Akatsuki cannot stand each other XD  Almost none of them get along, and it makes me laugh every time - I can’t believe they ever get anything done, though I guess that’s to be expected when you get that many super-criminals together in a room.  I especially love how they all think Orochimaru is so stupid...cannot get over them laughing at him and his body-snatching immortality schemes.

My favorite potential relationship between characters who never talk in canon: Okay, these are both silly answers, but - I would have KILLED to see Jiraiya interacting with Minato’s team.  Like, I’m certain they spent time together, but honestly, what I wouldn’t give to have witnessed some of it.  All I could think about during that mini-arc where Jiraiya teaches Naruto how to sync up with Gamariki was how little!Kakashi would have taken one look at the dancing frogs and decided he would be using dog!summons for the rest of his life; meanwhile Obito would have already been in the frog’s mouth begging to be launched into the air like a cannonball.  Also - my sister said the other night how it is a CRIME that we never got to see Sasuke forced to interact with Jiraiya and honestly, that is too true.

[suntrastar]

abstract: chapter 3

 chapter 2!! you can also read it on ao3 :)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Artist!Reader

Summary: Wait- Bucky Barnes attends your art class? And you didn’t even recognize him?

Word Count: 9520. i am deranged. someone euthanize me i beg you.

Author’s note: jesus fucking christ. this is so long for no reason. probably kind of poorly written. that is okay though. i really really appreciate the support you guys have given me for the last 2 chapters!! i was a bit iffy about joining tumblr but i’m glad to be here now :) please comment and reblog!! i appreciate it so much!!! ily all ok now enjoy this mess!!!

“You want to paint me?”

Rina looks at you, shocked, mouth agape, lone cherry tomato speared on her fork.

“Yeah,” you say, and smile with your straw still in between your teeth. “You in a field of flowers.”

“You want to paint me in a field of flowers?”

“Yes- that’s literally what I just said.”

The bustle of the restaurant is loud enough to drown out the rising volume of her voice. Thankfully. She’s being excessive, again- as if this is the first time she’s ever been the center of attention- but you’re fine with it today. You almost like it.

Today, her enthusiasm is almost contagious.

“I know,” Rina says “Duh. But, like, it’s just so crazy to me that you want to put me in your second solo show ever- I mean, why me?”

“Because,” you say, and almost leave it at that, just to mess with her. “Because you’re my best friend, and the whole thing is focused on people I know. And your hair would look so good with poppies, and-”

“I’m your best friend?”

“Obviously,” you say, even though to her, it might not be that obvious. “Who else?”

“That is so sweet,” she says, and leans back in her seat, dramatically clutching her hands over her heart. Rings sit on each of her fingers, gold and heavy stone. “You are too nice to me.”

She’s really milking it. But you’ll let it slide.

Rina gives you a self-satisfied smile, which you return without too much trouble. She’s so overwrought and showy with how she sits, limbs sprawled all over, like they’ve been blown into disarray by the wind. Her hair, still glossy red, is parted down the middle and made up in two French braids, tips just barely brushing her shoulders. The hair ties don’t match.

She has no best friend. She probably has, like, five other people just like you, who she calls on when she feels like it, whenever she wants company, when she feels like humoring someone. Or when she wants someone to listen to her talk.

It comes as part of the lifestyle- can you really blame her?

“I know,” you say, veering back on topic. “Bucky gave me the idea.”

You do it on purpose.

Her eyes go wide.

“Bucky?” She says, incredulously. Like she doesn’t believe you.

The feeling of being incompetent comes quick in a flash, and it takes too much to put it away.

You’re not incompetent- his number is in your phone, after all, isn’t it?

“The Winter Soldier, I mean,” you say, and the words feel all wrong in your mouth.

“No . Shut up. You are not on first-name basis with the fucking Winter Soldier.”

“Oops,” you say.

Her jaw drops.

You’re grinning too hard. She didn’t expect this from you- you didn’t expect this from you! You take a bite of your food, some garlicky chicken thing you can’t pronounce the name of, to delay your response. It gives you time to think of what to say next.

Rina waits, stunned into silence.

“We’re… talking, I think,” you say. “I asked him for his number.”

“And he gave it to you?”

“Yep.”

There’s a story there, that you won’t tell her.

You texted him a day after class, on Tuesday. Was that too soon? You didn’t care, your mind was too muddled with so many other things- icy blue eyes and different techniques for drawing wrinkles and this week’s shopping list and the best color that went with orange-red, and the laundry that you still hadn’t done.

You were too giddy to get smart with it- all you sent was a simple Hey.

All he sent back was a simple Hi.

Then, once you had read over his message too many times, you turned your phone off and pretended it never happened.

It’s too nerve-wracking. And pointless. You’re going to see him on Monday again, anyway! There’s plenty of time to text him- everything doesn’t have to be so immediate- you’ll get around to it before then, for sure.

You just have to stop thinking so much.

“I cannot believe you,” Rina gushes, and from her expression, you believe her. “You’re all grown up! I am so proud of you. That man is delicious, I cannot-”

“Do not describe him as delicious, oh my god.”

You burst out laughing as Rina raises one eyebrow, filled in dark. Her eye makeup always kills. “Am I wrong?”

“Well… no, but…”

***

Steve leaves, but Bucky stays back at the end of class to help you clean up. Acrylics again, and it’s the second-to-last class, so you had finally brought out the canvas.

Canvas means more fun, but more mess. More paint splatters on the tables, more brushes with clogged-up bristles.

Bucky doesn’t smile as he says bye to Steve, and it makes you feel a certain type of way , but you stick to business. Cleaning supplies are pulled out, paper towels are ripped from the dispenser. Bucky starts on the tables while you roll up your sleeves and start the sink, preparing to start on the brushes.

God- these brushes.

If these brushes were washed incorrectly, you would cry. They’re new, and high-quality, and the bristles are still soft and not yet frayed or discolored, and the handles are made of thick, clear plastic, and they come in different sizes and styles, and you can barely believe it, but they all even have rubber grips.

They’re really nice brushes.

“You didn’t text me back,” Bucky says.

You wish the sink was loud enough to swallow all sound, swallow you up within it.

Still, you look over your shoulder, giving him a pained smile while he scrubs at a spot of dried paint. He looks back at you, but you can’t tell what he’s thinking.

Of course you didn’t text back- thinking less is way harder than it seems.

“I wanted to,” you say, “but I got nervous. Sorry.”

You turn back to the sink. It’s a little easier to breathe without having to look at him.

“You got nervous,” he repeats, voice still so unreadable.

Is he mad? He always looks mad, always sounds mad- you can’t ever tell if there’s anything behind it.

“Yeah,” you say, and shrug, like it’s no big deal at all, like you chicken out of things all the time, like texting is always such a cause for concern. “I didn’t know what to say. What was I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know.”

Ugh.

The sink water slowly circles the drain. You don’t look past it, only keeping your eyes on the sink and the remaining brushes- it helps calm your heart, a little. Bucky is probably on the last few tables. All of the paintings have been neatly propped up on the drying racks.

Bucky painted his entire canvas yellow.

You are so dumb.

“Um, okay” you say, shutting off the sink. The really nice brushes are all neatly piled up on the counter on top of a folded paper towel, washed and drying. “What if I was like, ‘hey, Bucky, after this class ends and I’m not your art instructor anymore, would you want to meet up sometime?’”

You turn back around and lean against the sink. It’s an effort that deserves applause- you look so collected, while your heart is beating way too fast, and Bucky, its forever opposite, just stands behind a table, spray bottle in hand.

Your hands are sweaty.

He nods slowly, and it’s a victory in and of itself- the action nearly has you weak at the knees.

“Meet up,” he repeats, voice low, like a halfhearted growl. Disdainful, kind of. “Like a date.”

You wipe your hands on your apron. It’s a totally normal, totally relaxed movement. But then you’re wishing that you wore something cuter- was this sweatshirt really the only thing you had? Do you not own, like, a blouse, or something? Didn’t you just do your laundry?

Fuck, you’re being annoying.

“We don’t have to call it that,” you say. “We can just… hang out. Eat something. Go on a walk.”

You say it casually, but honestly, you like nice dates. Dates at art museums, dates at fusion restaurants, dates at movie theaters showing indie films in foreign languages. Anything eccentric, haphazard. Spontaneous.

But you also like seeing him smile, and you like to talk, and you like to be listened to- and he is giving you that.

This is a different type of everything. It’s all upside down, inside out, twisted over in itself. You have to approach it all differently, maybe it’s because he’s too quiet or too famous or too dangerous or whatever the hell, but none of it matters.

What matters is that you want it.

You’ll realign your compass.

“Okay,” he says. “I like walks.”

“Great,” you say, and go on without hesitating, because long nights have you tired and hesitation is for the weak, “I like you.”

Bucky Barnes, real, unfitting name James, clutching dirty paper towels and a spray bottle, smiles at you.

It’s wrong, but you could just bite him.

A sudden, unprompted thought hurls through your mind- you want to paint him.

***

The last art class.

It was once long-awaited, but now, you’re actually sad to see everyone go.

You buy a tray of cookies. It’s the least you can do- everyone has been so nice to you, so respectful and cooperative. Everyone has made things fun. You don’t know if you were doing anything right, but it sure as hell has been enjoyable.

Crumbs might get in the paint, but’s a small price to pay.

“Knock yourself out,” you announce.

The tray is set out on the middle table. You forgot the package of napkins back at your studio, so you gesture to the paper towel dispenser.

Then you long for the kids in your Wednesday and Thursday classes, because unlike these people, they wouldn’t be looking so dead at the prospect of free cookies.

You shake your head and return to your perch, tucking your feet behind the legs of the stool.

Eventually the conversations trickle out, slowly turning the room warm and lovely and bright. You listen in, a little, savor it, and hop back up. There’s nothing to do- might as well make some idle chitchat, one last time.

Shonna uses a small brush to add purple highlights to the feathers of a pigeon. It’s gorgeous- and you don’t even like pigeons- but you like her painting style and the jewel tones she’s adding amidst the grey, and the orange beak, and the washed-out yellow background she’s painting over.

“Wow,” you say, and she adds another purple highlight with a flick of her hand. “I cannot stop looking at this pigeon.”

“Thank you, honey,” she says, without looking up.

She’s too focused for you to stay for too long- you have to leave the pigeon for others. Marcie waves you down and gives you the latest update about her son, abandoning her half-painted rose while she launches into a bit of a tirade- her son wants to pierce his nose, isn’t that ridiculous?

“Hey, I wanted to pierce my nose when I was his age, too,” you say, and spout something about self-expression that makes her frown.

Ahmed chimes in. You have no idea what the blob he’s painting is supposed to be, but you like it. “I’ve been trying to tell her the same thing! These kids are modern now- these are just the things they do!”

“These are just the things we do,” you echo.

Marcie heaves a heavy sigh.

***

You head over to a few more tables, and it goes by too fast and too slow, but then you’re suddenly there in the back, with your star student, and your…

With Bucky.

“I really like how this is turning out,” Steve says proudly, as you approach them.

Then, he adds, almost childishly, “Don’t look until I’m done.”

He has a half-eaten sugar cookie sitting by his paint water.

“I won’t look” you promise, and all at once, you’re almost emotional- he is such a nice guy. He’s like the human embodiment of a golden retriever. “Don’t worry.”

Steve nods, pleased and nervous at the same time. You pointedly look away from the painting as you slide into a seat, across from Bucky and his yellow canvas.

Yellow and black canvas. He’s hunched over with a fat-bristled paintbrush in hand, adding black stripes, blobby and unevenly spaced, but still unbelievably straight.  

It is all so cute.

“Very bumblebee-esque,” you say, and his forehead creases. “I like it.”

Steve smiles.

Bucky adds another line. He didn’t take a cookie. He should’ve- the chocolate-chip is so good.

“Thanks,” he says.

And Steve just smiles wider, and you almost kick him under the table, and Bucky gives you an unsmiling look that turns you to jelly.

Hat aside, he is looking exceptionally pretty today. All hair and eyes and bone structure- it makes you want to do something, like reaching out and grabbing him by the collar of his jacket. Like running a hand over his jaw. Catching his stubble under your fingertips.

Parting his hair down the middle and French braiding it.

Taking a picture- it'll last longer.

“I'm going to miss seeing you guys around.”

Steve gives you a surprised look and shakes his head. He has one arm protectively curled around his canvas, even though you’re still not looking.

“Oh, I’m sure one of us will be seeing you around,” he says, and grins.

You glare at him.

Bucky laughs.

***

The goodbyes aren’t as bad as you thought they would be.

People leave with a simple goodbye and a brief thank you, shrugging on their coats and gingerly clinging to their still-damp artwork. Marcie makes you promise her that you won’t pierce your nose. One woman who would always come to the class with a huge coffee cup sets her painting aside to sweep you into a hug.

It’s very gratifying.

Steve and Bucky linger.

Shonna does, too, but for a completely different reason.

You want to give her Rina’s contact. She probably has some painting class available, if Shonna’s interested in that sort of thing, if she’s okay with being around so much personality.

And you also want to give her your contact- so she can keep on sending you pictures of those  birds.

“One sec,” you tell her, and reach for your purse, sitting on the counter.

Bucky is standing closeby, remarkably closeby, and you accidentally brush against him.

He goes rigid.

But you’re busy pulling out a pen and a scrap piece of paper, and then you’re using the counter as a hard surface to write against, shoulders angled away from him, and you’re talking all the while- you don’t have the spare second to be concerned.

“This is my email,” you say, adding a smiley face after the address. “Send me your art. And, like, talk to me. Send me your grocery lists, if you want- I don’t care. Here.”

Shonna takes it and gives you a smile. There’s a glimmer of something in it, a knowing.

“Thank you,” she says, and laughs a little, and you suddenly fiercely miss your mother. “I’ll keep the last bit in mind.”

She looks past you. Steve, standing a few feet away, holding the canvas he still hasn’t shown you, nods respectfully. And Bucky, standing near the counter, still near you, even though he’s looking at you like you’ve scalded him.

“I’ll leave you to it,” she says.

You almost ask, “to what?” But she’s already left- Shonna and her pigeons are gone.

Steve steps up fast to take her place.

You still have no time to think.

“So, this is the finished product,” Steve says with no preamble, and with a great flourish that makes you laugh in delight, he turns the canvas around.

Oh.

Wow.

You’re not dizzy.

But you will be, if you keep on looking at this- a tangle of vines on a wall, with blooming flowers in what should be the wrong colors, dappled in light from a window you can’t see, drawn from a strange perspective. The leaves are really big and the vines are really small, and then it’s flip-flopped, and he has a hot-pink underpainting that he didn’t fully cover, so there’s pink in the leaves, pink on the wall. Pink in the un-pink flowers.

“Fuck,” you say, and then go quiet.

Steve tenses.

Now you have two very strong men looking at you weird.

You should probably fix that.

“I don’t- I don’t know what to say,” you say, stumbling over your words, feeling cotton-mouthed. “There are no coherent thoughts going on in my head right now. I’m just- where did this even- how did you even come up with this?”

“I tried to do that thing you said,” Steve says, sounding uncertain. He shifts and the painting moves with him, sending pink flickering over your eyesight. “No empty space. Because it’s boring.”

What is this called, again? Artists supporting artists?

“It is boring,” you say in agreement, and your voice comes back to you, all at once. “And holy shit, you pulled it off so well. I’m obsessed with the pink underpainting- it’s everything. You literally invented pink. And can we talk about these vines? How long did it take you to draw them all tangled up like that? And the flowers- you even gave them little stems, ugh.  And all the colors! And this lighting- I’m sorry, I have too much to say.”

Like watching a flower bloom, Steve unfurls at your praise, blush deepening with each compliment. It’s so wonderfully endearing, and internally, you sigh in relief.

“Thank you,” he says, and bursts into the brightest smile you’ve ever seen. “Also, we have one more question.”

“We?” You ask, and Bucky clears his throat.

You turn to him.

Already, you have a whole slew of problems- you have to sketch out an emerging idea and place an order for new brushes, ones with rubber grips, and you have to cook dinner when you get home because lately you’ve been ordering too much takeout, and you have to organize your closet, and you have to give an adequate and peppy response to whatever Steve is about to say-

You’re bursting at the seams.

There isn’t much room for anything else. Any concern.

“You have something to say, Bucky?” You ask, and waggle your eyebrows.

He doesn’t crack a smile- just how you like it.

“I do,” he says, smugly, and then says your name in a way that ties your stomach up in knots, that has you thinking of flowers and chiffon.

“We were wondering if you’re free tomorrow,” Steve says, and then invites you out for drinks, for tomorrow evening.

So you’ve passed the initial threshold of friendship, and now you’re onto group drinking! That’s exciting- and you’ll get to see Bucky, and you’ll get to postpone that tedious process of planning out a date- a hang-out, and you’ll have an opportunity to show up in something besides jeans and sad sweatshirts.

There hasn’t been a chance to show it off to him, yet, but you can dress.

Steve mentions another friend named Sam, who might join, too, if that’s okay with you.

“I’m cool with it,” you say. “The more the merrier, right?”

He has to be a decent guy, if Steve associates with him, and you like new people.

But doesn’t Steve also associate with, like, Tony Stark?

That man is oh-so problematic. He rolls out with a new scandal every month. He’s had enough scandals that he could release a line of red-and-gold-themed calendars- with the dates of each scandal marked in. Each month could have its own photo, too, coinciding with the dates.

Tony Stark, making peace signs at a court hearing. Tony Stark, wasted on a yacht. Tony Stark, in the middle of an interview where he bashes people who have absolutely nothing to do with him.

“That sounds like fun,” you say, and Steve lets out a breath of relief, “but I have to ask, about Sam? Is he, like, a…”

An Avenger? A genetically-altered individual? A prominent public figure with a stupid amount of money?

“He’s a really nice guy,” Steve quickly says.

“He’s a pain in the ass,” Bucky says, immediately after him.

***

As it turns out, Sam Wilson is not a pain in the ass.

He is really nice, but more importantly, he is funny.

Bucky texted you the address a few hours ago. You walk into the bar and at once, you’re assaulted by an excess of dark- dark floors, dark lighting, dark accents on the decor. None of it is dingy, just low-lit. It’s a nice place.

It might be a little too nice- nothing like the sticky-floored, rowdy sports-themed bars you usually hit when you’re in the mood to get hammered.

You catch the back of a head, wavy brown hair and thick shoulders, in a booth tucked into the corner. Steve, sitting opposite him, against the wall, catches your eye and waves you over.

Next to Bucky is a guy you’ve never seen before, Sam. Black skin, close-cropped hair, looking over his shoulder to flash a grin at you. Even in a simple shirt, you can tell that he is built.

He’s an Avenger, then. Maybe.

You’ve just barely slid in beside Steve, and you’re grinning and making some dumb comment about the disaster that is the New York subway system, when Sam fixes you with a gleeful look and leans forward.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” he says, casting a side-eye at Bucky. “I’m not joking when I say this- I was starting to think that Barnes made you up. He’s always doing crazy shit like that. Anyways, you will not believe why I’m actually here.”

You humor him, because why the hell not? “Why are you actually here?”

Already, you can tell that he has that vaguely-ironic, purposely-stupid sense of humor, which you always find absolutely hilarious. And you want to know what he means by crazy shit.

Bucky looks up at you for a few charged seconds, telling you something you can’t decipher, and then ducks his hand back down to stare intensely at his drink. Something amber, with ice cubes.

“I’m here to make sure that you don’t feel bad. Because these two fossils,” Sam says, and Steve winces, “can’t get drunk. But I can! So if you wanna get trashed, I’m game.”

Under the dimmed lights, Sam’s teeth shine perfectly white. All of Steve’s friends seem to have perfectly white teeth.

“It’s because of the serum,” Steve says, and you just gawk.

They both can’t get drunk?  

Because of their fucking superhero vaccine?

“What the hell,” you say, and rest your elbows on the tabletop. Bucky’s gaze follows your arms, starting at the hems of the sleeves, trailing up to your shoulders. “That’s so… Steve, if you can’t get drunk, then why are you torturing yourself with that beer?”

“It’s for the feeling,” Steve says quietly, blushing pink, and Bucky is still quiet, and you have a feeling that this has something to do with nostalgia, or World War II, or something. The good old days.

Sam catches it too, so he buts in, quickly bringing the conversation back to something less layered, less wired.

He’s a man with nothing to hide. He tells you who he is with no hesitation, without trying to skip over or disguise anything- he’s open. He’s a war vet, too, and now an Avenger- he’s the Falcon. He has, he says, a pair of fancy-ass wings. And the coolest outfit.

“Wait,” you say, and you’re suddenly dying to know, “what does it feel like to fly?”

His eyes light up.

“You know when you’re trying to sleep, and then you randomly get that feeling that you’re falling, and your stomach does that thing?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s like that, but you can control it. It’s fucking amazing.”

He launches into a whole spiel, talking your ear off about the feeling of high-altitude wind on his skin and aerodynamics and some science-y things you don’t understand, and you get your own beer and enjoy the sweet feeling of getting buzzed on a weeknight, and as the edge you constantly have on yourself shifts, the seats shift, too.

You don’t know how, but you end up next to Bucky, in between him and the wall. Not touching, but close. Sam is across from you and Steve is next to him, and all of a sudden they’re talking about Chex Mix.

“If the Avengers were Chex Mix pieces,” Sam says, throwing the word Avenger around casually enough to make Steve’s hesitations seem horrendously uptight, “I would be the garlic chip. The best part of the whole damn bag. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

“Yeah, those chips are definitely the best part,” you say, adopting a mock-seriousness. “And Tony Stark would be one of those knobby-ass, crunchy little mini breadsticks.”

Sam mirrors your expression, nodding gravely, like what you’re both evaluating is a highly intellectual subject. “I completely agree. And for Rogers- man, you’re a pretzel.”

You narrow your eyes. “Square or circle?”

“Uh,” Sam says, turning to survey poor, unprepared Steve, looking equal parts bewildered and embarrassed. “Square.”

“Great choice. And Bucky?”

“Bucky…” Sam hesitates, and the briefest smile flashes over his face before he schools his expression back into objectivity, “Bucky is one of those original Chex squares. Sorry.”

“That’s cold,” you say, and Sam smiles again, and leans all the way back in his seat, bringing his hands behind his head.

“He’s not one of the yellow squares, though- those are actually good,” Sam starts, grin growing wider by the second, and you can’t tell if it would be rude to laugh. “He’s not one of those squares with extra seasoning, either. Bucky is just one of the plain brown squares. The wheat squares, or whatever the hell. Have you ever, like- have you ever wondered what the sole of a shoe tastes like? Or the eraser on top of a pencil? That’s what those taste like- that’s what he is. Just one of the plain Chex squares.”

Your jaw drops.

A roast like that from a halfway drunk man is absolutely scathing.

Bucky just levels a glare.

He’s used to this, you think. Is that his crazy shit? That he never reacts to anything?

You’re definitely a little tipsy- this is obviously no time to get wasted, but the edge has certainly been taken off, the corners of your world having gone hazy. In a lull, you watch a well-dressed man standing by the vestibule doors lean past your field of vision and receive what you think is a kiss on the cheek.

Without thinking, you lean close to Bucky and cup a hand over his ear.

Maybe he won’t react, maybe he will, but you’re not going to give him the time for either.

“I think that you’re the garlic chip,” you whisper loudly, and you’ll probably cringe yourself into oblivion over it when you're sober, but you think he shivers- and then he snorts.

“Thank you,” he says, and Sam putters out, giving you an amazed look.

***

“Heyyy,” you say later, turning to Bucky, when time has passed and you’re no longer on the subject of Chex Mix and he’s still a little too quiet. “What’s up?”

He’s quiet and troubled, drinking what might be whiskey like it’s water. Is it whiskey? You didn’t think that people actually drank whiskey- just kept it around in crystal decanters and silver flasks to look cool, like they’re main characters in a movie.

“The sky,” he says dryly, like you didn’t say that same exact shit when you were in middle school, hopelessly thinking that it was the slickest comeback.

“Very funny, James,” you say, and he huffs, and you feel a brief flash of panic, and then you’re almost apologizing, when he grins.

You know maybe three whole things about him, but you’ll press yourself up against him right here and now, under the low light of a fancy bar, with rain sliding down outside the window panes, with his friends right across the table. You don’t care.

His friends can tell.

“We’ll be right back,” Steve says suddenly, making a very showy display of getting up with Sam. Both of them send you obnoxious grins and suggestively raised eyebrows.

Bucky glares. You can’t stop smiling.

“You kids have fun,” Sam calls, and you laugh.

Just you and him, then. The mood shifts fast, turning from one thing to… another. Bucky’s eyes reflect the window outside, falling dark and darker, and you’re slipping, too.

“You look really nice,” Bucky says, and his eyes dip down in the slyest fucking move- you’re almost proud of him for it, for having such game.

A spark of heat flashes through you, as he takes you in slowly, like he’s trying to savor it.

You opted for a slightly tighter shirt, and a pair of jeans, but they’re your nice jeans. The ones without any weird streaks of paint on the thighs. And you wear a beaded necklace, and in your ears, a pair of fun, delicate hoop earrings, dangling with charms in the shape of crescent moons.

“Thanks,” you  lean back, into the wall, letting your voice drop to match the tone of his. “You do, too.”

He just stares at you, unamused. Still dark, and dangerous.

Purple chiffon, you think, and marigolds. The flower was meant for another friend, but she’ll have to manage, because now, you can only see Bucky with marigolds, with no room for anyone else.

“So,” you say, before the silence carries on and makes you do something stupid, “Done anything fun lately?”

He tenses. Again.

There’s all these things that you know you can’t ask him, things about his job and his hobbies and his metal fucking arm, which you still haven’t seen- which you’re fine with, but, like. It’s the fact that he has a metal arm in the first place- he is so detached from everything you know, and you aren’t sure if you know how to navigate it all. You don’t think he knows how to navigate it, either.

He’s hesitant, you think. But not unwilling.

You’re just going to roll with it.

”I watched a movie today,” he says, sounding so smooth that your clutch on your drink wavers. His eyes are raking you over, cold.

Red marigolds. Not the orange ones. Red marigolds with the little golden borders on the edges of each petal.

“Which movie?”

He shakes his head. “I forgot the name”

“Okay, well, what was it about?”

“Talking dogs.”

You laugh and he smiles, and then you feel light enough to float. “Talking dogs?”

“Yeah,” Bucky says, and he takes a sip. His mouth is very pink. Layers, you think, layers and overlapping, to make the fabric look hazy. Washed-out. “They talk when their owners aren’t home.”

“That sounds right up your alley,” you say, and you’re giggly and he’s all smiley and maybe you’re being embarrassing, but whatever, because he’s looking at you like he’s never been smiley with anyone else before, and you really, really want to lean in.

You’ll wait.

***

Sam comes back with Steve a little bit later, but it isn't until you’re getting ready to leave when he brings it up.

“You’re good for him,” Sam says, while Bucky and Steve have gone to pay. Your drinks are on him- how chivalrous. “Honestly, you’re probably too good for him.”

You laugh as you shrug on your jacket. “Doubt it.”

“No, I’m serious,” he says, voice dropping to an urgent whisper. You realize at once that he’s about to say something heavy, something concerning. “He has been through some fucked-up shit. It’s not his fault, obviously, but it’s always there. He’s never going to get over it. Sometimes he doesn’t sleep. He just stays awake, for like, three whole days at a time. Sometimes he just disappears. He never tells anyone where he goes. Sometimes he does this thing where he-”

“I get it,” you say quickly, and he must be able to see your sudden dread, because his face softens.

“I’m not trying to scare you. I just want you to know- that that’s what you’re getting yourself into.”

“Thanks,” you say, and zip up your coat, and then pat your pockets even though you know you have everything, just so you have an excuse to not say anything. Sam gives you a long look, before sighing and pulling out his phone.

Obviously, Sam is trying to tell you that Bucky is damaged.

You’re not in the business of fixing things, but you’ll take him as he is anyway, because...

“Sam?” you say, and he looks up from his phone.

“Sometimes,” you start, and swallow down whatever anxiety is starting to surface, “Sometimes he’s being all quiet and moody and angsty and whatever, I get that same feeling that you’re telling me. But then, like, he just does something. Like, he’ll make a joke, or say something, and then it’s like-”

You struggle with your words- it’s like everything you want to say is there, but you can’t reach it. Sam slides his phone into his pocket, and Bucky is coming back, with Steve in tow, moon and sun, peas in a pod. You wonder if Sam makes their duo a trio, if he’s the third invitee to their slumber party, or if he’s just on the fringes.

“It’s like- It’s like, okay. Like, I know who he is and it’s all okay.”

He nods, and smiles at you, and you sincerely hope that he isn’t just on the fringes.

***

The paintings of your parents are finished- and they are good. So good. Every detail is there, every color. Every line. The wrinkles and the flowers and the lace neckline of your mother’s dress. Looking at them makes you feel so proud- it’s been forever since you were able to properly convey your thoughts onto canvas.

They’re big, too. Larger than life. You’ll have to rent one of those orange U-Haul trailers to transport them.

On a new canvas is Rina, only halfway painted. She looks good too, even though right now she’s just a head and a torso and two floating feet, because getting the colors on her legs right is harder than you thought. It’s tricky to paint the shadows and contours without her legs just looking bruised- there’s so many flower stems overlapping with the skin, so you don’t have a lot of room to work with.

You’ll figure it out.

You might be a little in over your head, actually. Confident- a little too confident. You don’t even have this painting done, and you’re itching to start on another. A possible recipe for disaster, but every time you have a spare second, in the shower or on the subway or when you’re trying to fall asleep, you find yourself thinking about it.

Not in bits and pieces the way most of your thoughts are, but a fully formed concept; a real, true image brimming with fullness, already starting to spill over into everything you do.

You have it all figured out. You know what techniques you’ll use. What composition, what colors.

You text Bucky.

Nothing crazy. You know you could scare him off, or maybe not, not anymore- by the end of the night at the bar last week, you sat next to him and bumped up against him and whispered in his ear, and right before you left he flicked the charm on your earring, watched it sway, and then he smirked- and you almost died.

You text him Hey, and then set your phone on the farthest surface you can find, pointedly avoiding it. Rina’s calves need attention- you have paint to mix.

Ten minutes later, your phone rings.

You can’t help it, you’re weak-hearted- you drop everything and dash to your phone, dodging your carts of supplies and hopping over a stack of toppled canvases that you never bothered to pick up, and pick up on the third ring.

“Hi,” you say into the receiver, slightly out of breath.

“Hi,” he says, and he sounds slightly out of breath, too.

“Um,” you say, and laugh a little, with the heady rush of nerves flooding in, “I wasn’t expecting you to call.”

“I called because I’m a slow texter,” Bucky says.

You feel so fluttery. When was the last time you felt this fluttery?

“Oh. That’s okay. I was just wondering if you... wanted to meet up sometime soon? Tomorrow, maybe?”

Tomorrow is Saturday, a day off. For you, at least- do Avengers get days off?

“Okay,” he says, and you swear he sounds pleased. You want to cut straight to something else. Skip, jump, leap over all of these steps, so you can get to what you really want to tell him. “I think I can do that. Where are we meeting?”

“There’s this little cafe we can… we can head there first, I’ll text you the address, but I have this idea,” you say, and wait for his invitation to continue, with your heart beating dangerously fast, thrumming like it might just burst through your ribs.

“What’s your idea?”

Thank you, you almost say, but don’t.

The steps are skipped, formalities disregarded- you just tell him.

It’s the perfect time- there’s that currently rare, pretty daylight that grows with each passing day streaming in through your windows unfiltered, blocked by no blinds or curtains. You pace a little, at first, right in the sun, and then sit down on a stool, toeing the smooth wood floors beneath, cradling the phone.

You start it off simple, with the marigolds.

Red marigolds, you specify, because you feel like you have to. Then you delve deeper, into chiffon and lighting and this thing you want to try out with layering, where two elements that overlap go by a completely different color scheme. Like, you say, like the flowers are red and the clothes are black, but the places where they meet are electric pink or orange or blue or something else unusual and distracting.

Save for the sound of his breathing, Bucky is quiet. You can tell that he’s really listening, probably sitting down somewhere and focusing on you, not doing some other task with your voice as background noise. He doesn’t interrupt when you go off on a tangent about the importance of natural lighting or contradict yourself with opposing statements on color choice, or when your words start to deteriorate, when they start pouring out so fast that they slur together and become less than coherent.

Your mind is going even faster- you can see the image even when you blink.

Something at the back of your thoughts tells you to stop, to slow down. You need to chill out.  

But the idea is so vivid, so you can’t- you don’t, not until the idea is totally exhausted and you give a final sigh and go quiet, not until after giving what could count as an entire fucking speech.

When Bucky speaks again, he sounds tentative.

“I… like it,” he says, and maybe he’s holding his phone at a bad angle, because his voice is quiet.

“You do?” You say, instead of asking something else, with a sudden bad feeling in your gut.

“Yeah. But…”

You know what he says without him having to say it.

It feels like you’ve been punched.

The picture behind your eyelids burns brighter.

“That’s okay,” you say in response to his unsaid words, speaking too late, so that it's obvious that it’s not okay.

Your heart is sinking, as if it has any right to, as if he’s in the wrong. How did you go from high to low so fast?

You scared him. You put too much pressure on him too fast- it’s exactly what Sam said, that he’s all levels of wary and weird, and little things can set him off, because of everything that he’s been through-

Even if he was someone else, though, even if he was normal, he would still say no- anyone would say no to being given such a request out of nowhere.

Well, Rina didn’t, but she doesn’t count in this situation, does she?

“Sorry,” he says.

That hurts worse.

“Don’t apologize,” you say quickly. “It’s not like it’s not going to work now- I mean, it’ll be fine. Are you still down to meet, though?”

“Sure,” he says, too late.

***

Bucky Barnes does not like anything in his coffee.

He takes it black, black like his clothes, black like his soul, black like whatever other emo shit you can come up with.

It’s not that funny anymore.

Still, you keep up with it- you’re funny and talkative and charming and everything else, because you don’t know what else to do. The subject will be broached, it’s inevitable- you’ll broach it, even, but you still have to figure out how.

He’s subdued. And wearing his stupid hat, again, and you would give anything to knock it off so you could really see him, and he’s cautiously cradling his mug in a way that makes you ache everywhere.

The cafe is busy and decorated with a specific aesthetic, one that you would call manufactured bohemian. Potted plants and quirky photographs and drinks that all have fancy and ridiculous names. The baristas wear yellow aprons, and if you have a membership card, every tenth purchase gets you a free sugar cookie iced with a smiling sun.

Your cappuccino foam is dissolving. Sometimes, even though it’s mostly tasteless, you swipe it up and eat it with a spoon. Today, it seems like a bad idea- frivolous in the face of his silence and your unmotivated charisma and this stupid idea lingering between you two, like a friend that’s overstayed their welcome.

“I’m sorry,” you blurt out, and wonder why you feel so jumpy for saying it. “For bringing that thing up yesterday.”

To your own credit, you still sound confident.

He looks at you so darkly that you wonder if you should be afraid. Have there ever been others in your seat, afraid?

You’re not afraid.

“It’s fine,” he says, and continues staring at you like it’s not fine.

“I’m just- I was just thinking out loud,” you say. You feel like you have to explain yourself, prove something to him, so that you won’t wilt. “It was just an idea that I thought could be cool. I told you because, no , wait. I mean, I know that I- fuck. I’m sorry that it made you uncomfortable. That was really dumb of me.”

He tilts his head, eyes sliding over, and you shiver.

He looks bored.

Which is unnerving and terrifying as hell, because you have this carefully hand-crafted, precisely-cut image of who you are supposed to be, and it is not meant to be boring in the slightest, but he's bored, and you’re going to lose it.

“I said it’s fine,” he says, monotonously, giving the sudden impression that he’s about to leave. But he’s just sitting in his seat, unwrapping his hands from his mug and setting them on the table, while your hands are on the verge of shaking. “It didn't make me uncomfortable.”

If that was true, then you wouldn’t be having this conversation in the first place. You wouldn’t be stumbling over yourself to say something so simple.

It takes considerable effort to keep your gaze steady. “Okay. But I still- I just want to say a thing really quick.”

“Say it.”

He’s being mean.

But this thing has been eating at you for a while now, so you don’t care.

“Um, so, we’re really different people,” you start, and before you second-guess it, you adopt your speaker voice, the teaching voice, the smart one. He has to know this about you- you’re smart. “And you obviously have all of your own things going on in your life that I can’t even imagine, and if you ever want to, like, talk about it, I’m here, but I also don’t care.”

He raises an eyebrow.

You push on.

“Like, it’s not important to me. If you want it to be, then it’ll be, but if not, then it’s whatever. I'm not- when I see you, I just see you. Does that make sense? Like, I don’t really think of any of that other stuff? If I’m supposed to, though, I’m sorry. I… I don’t even know what I’m saying.”

You don’t get nervous often, but you let out a small, nervous laugh.

It’s like your heart and head and lungs are suspended, frozen in ice while he takes your words in. The door to the cafe chimes and a large group of people step in. Middle aged women, all wearing athletic clothes. Devil’s ivy grows on the wall farthest from you- how chic- with vines snaking forward in your direction, reaching for you in green and streaky white.

He smiles.

All you see is teeth and creased eyes and a low, uncreased brow- you want to kiss him.

“Tell me the idea again,” he says, and leans back in his seat. He crosses his arms, and you watch his forearms shift and strain against his shirt, and then you clear your throat and look away and try to focus.

You inhale and gather everything, hoping that this time, you’ll be able to make it make sense.

***

One thing spirals into another. Your words were building and building, rising like a crescendo, overwhelming you to the point where you just said it outright, and-

He’s now in your apartment.

He is literally in your apartment.

You watch him survey the area- the clutter, the mismatched furniture, the crooked posters and photos and artwork hung up on the walls. The subpar paint on the walls that you didn’t choose, the cabinets made of old wood with newly replaced handles.

The entire place is creaking, becoming worse for the wear with each passing day. You could probably afford nicer, but it doesn’t matter, because you love it here- you’ve formed an emotional attachment that goes beyond sad paint and constant repairs. Your home is cozy.

But right now, with Bucky in here, it’s suddenly cramped.

“I want you to sit over here,” you say, and facing a great window, rounded on top with those gorgeous little decorative swirls, which is your favorite part of the whole place, is an armchair. It’s a steal you found at an antique store, with little tassels lining the back of the seat, upholstered with the tackiest floral print you’ve ever seen, but it’s perfect for what you’re trying to do.

The sun is shining strong and unfiltered- he’ll be lit up.

Bucky sits. He looks on edge, and beautiful.

You want to make this easy for him. But you might be too swept away in him to make any efforts- you’re still in shock that he agreed to this in the first place, so disoriented with him being here, in your place, that your trains of thought keep on derailing.

You’re closer than you wish you were, closer to losing it.

“Perfect. Give me one second.”

You go to your room, which isn’t really a room but a sectioned-off alcove with a bit of wall blocking it from view, no door- weird architecture, but whatever, to retrieve your supplies. Tape and the neatly folded swatches of fabric and your camera.

Photography isn’t your thing, but you need reference material.

When you return, he’s looking pensive, and dazzling. His arms fall tensely on the sides of the chair, but his hands dangle so gracefully, and the light catches his face and colors it golden- you are going to lose it when it comes to painting his eyes. They’re blue, but you see them as suns.

“You look great,” you say, and he blushes. You’re ready to pounce, right now.

The fabric is a little bit awkward. It has to be draped upon him- Bucky bristles at your actions in a way that tells you he’s never done anything even remotely like this before, but you persist, and he lets you.

“Get out of the chair really quick.”

“Okay.”

Bucky gets out of the chair. You hop up on it, to tape the corners of the fabric to the ceiling. It’s a flimsy attempt, but they hold and flutter just fine.

He takes you by the hand to bring you back down.

“Careful,” he says, as you make the daunting two-and-a-half-foot descent, and he squeezes your hand in his gloved one before you make him sit down again.

You are buzzing with electricity. Another point to him- that was smooth.

The loose ends of the fabric are tricky, You try at first to tape them to the back of the chair, moving back behind him to reach. Bucky’s head stays perfectly still, and the chiffon looks wrong. It looks weirdly stiff.

So you drape one on him like planned, sort of dripping down his shoulder in a bunched-up purple river, and let the other hang freely, swaying a little from the fragility of the tape.

You move back around to face him.

“This is perfect,” you say, and grin, because this is finally happening. “You look perfect.”

He’s staring all intensely again. You want to come close to him, tell him how lovely he looks, straight out of a dream. You’re so pretty, you almost say, but you have some semblance of rational thought left in you- and so you stay quiet.

The camera dangles from its strap around your neck. You take it in your hands and power it on. The settings are adjusted, and you fiddle with the shutter speed and focus and everything else before bringing it close to your eye, expecting this dream-

He’s all tense, again.

It’s the lens, you immediately think, even though that doesn’t really make sense. You look like- you look like him when he does his things. Lenses and targets and crosshairs. How is this thought so immediate?

You’re just trying to take a picture.

“Relax,” you say, and it does absolutely nothing.

“I am relaxed,” he bites out.

He’s really not. There’s something shifting in his face, something discontented, a brewing storm. His hands are starting to harshly curl into the armrests, digging at the upholstery, distorting the flowers.

The chiffon looms.

“Fix your hands. Like, move them- no, turn them back,”

You’re stooping over to fully capture him, almost ready to take a knee.

His hands flex and stay as they are, stressed and taut and not right, and the rest of him is still so-

You bring the camera down.

***

He’s in this ugly chair, surrounded by fabric, and you’re pretty and wearing a pale pink sweater, and you’re aiming a camera at him, for a picture, but he feels like a target.

White-hot adrenaline and cold and dark dread pull at both sides of him. He feels like a total mess.

Is this they all felt- how they all feel, when he is aiming at them? He tries to do things differently, now, but the tragedy still takes place, the trigger is still fired- the deed is still done. Karma, he thinks, retracing its path, coming back to bite him through you.

You’re frowning. He wants to apologize.

You take the camera down and let it dangle from the strap at your neck. He just had your hands in his- he wants them back and wants to get as far away from you as possible.

“This isn’t working,” you say, and straighten back up, placing your hands on your hips. You look powerful, and he might be trembling from clenching his jaw so hard. “You are not relaxed.”

“I’m not,” he agrees, and you sigh and fix him with a look that isn’t pity- he’d bolt if it were pity, but steely resolve.

You take the camera off your neck, and gently bend over to set it on the floor. Then you sit down beside it, wincing as your knee makes a noise, and giving him a bemused little smile that he wants to just-

Your head level with his knees as you sit, cross-legged. Hands splayed over your lower thighs, careless and carefree. Your posture slouches a bit, relaxing the way he is not, and it's relieving.

His hands grip the chair like a lifeline.

“Why isn’t this working?” You ask, more yourself than him. “You were so- nevermind. Or, Let’s… um, wait. Maybe- Can I?”

He’s always thought of you as so put-together, a born speaker, but now you’ve been stammering and stuttering all over his heart, and he doesn’t know what to do.

You reach out with your hand, hesitantly, wavering. The scar smiles pink.

He nods- his head nods, his body is moving outside of itself, and he feels sheltered and exposed, nearly covered in purple fabric and vulnerable and sitting above you, all of him bared for you to see. Hot and cold.

Your hand goes on his knee.

He’s so alarmed that he almost lashes out- he wants to think, but you’re giving him no time to-

Your other hand is reaching out, tugging at his own, and you bring yourself up to your knees and lean back on the balls of your feet, balancing. Your head is still below his chest and tilted so he can’t see your eyes, and you’re holding his hand like it’ll break.

There’s a dry-erase board fastened on the opposite wall, next to all of the other eclectic clutter. It’s filled in with a to-do list- the words COOK SOMETHING are scrawled at the top in angry red marker. He focuses on the words as you play with his fingers.

You gently trace a thumb over the ridges of his knuckles; he’s suddenly so ticklish that he flinches and chokes on a word that he doesn’t know how to say.

You nudge his hand over to the side, drape the fingers down, and your other hand is still burning his knee, setting him alight-

You’re molding him. Setting him to look how you want, manhandling him in the softest way possible. Should this feel violating? Rude? It feels good- purposeful. He’s letting you do this, and his heart is beating hard, but he can still hear your breathing and his breathing and the white noise of the traffic on the street below, stories away.

You take your hand off his knee, and nudge at his left hand, and he thinks now, how fucking stupid this is- if it’s his fucking hand, why does he wear this stupid fucking glove?

He goes to work it off and you understand, and if he wasn’t wanting so badly to be still for you, stay here as you take your picture, he would grab you by the necklace you’re wearing and drag you closer.

The glove is pulled off and dropped to the floor and the silver of his hand winks in the sunlight.

“Oh,” you say softly, and there’s a crack in your voice, and his voice would crack too, if you asked him to speak.

There’s this look on your face. He doesn’t know if you want to hold his hand or kiss it or put his fingers in your mouth, it looks like all three and he is all unfurled, too, because he is sitting back in this ugly armchair and you’re holding his hands again, and you’re backlit by the sun- like a vision sent straight from the sky.

You fix his hands.

This feels intimate- more intimate than kissing, or anything else. This feels like skipping steps.

After a moment, you pry your hands off of his, and lean back.

Wordlessly, you take the camera and stand up, and you fiddle it and back up, back to where you were at first, far away. Then you’re bringing it close to your eye, looking at him through a lens, and the shutter clicks once, twice.

You bring it back down.

“You got it?” He says, and his voice sounds rough- he sounds parched.

You look at its little screen and bite your lip. “Yeah.”

“Can you come here for a second?”

You look up at him and he’s glad that he couldn’t see your eyes before- they’re dark. “Yeah.”

The camera is tossed to the side, again, and you walk like you’re floating. The steps have been skipped, but Bucky will have to go back to them anyway- he doesn’t like to leave any stones unturned-

And so he waits until you’re close enough, and then tugs you down by your sweater- he doesn’t want to hurt you, and he’s reaching and reaching-

You laugh or smile or do something else sweet, but he’s too caught up to tell. He pulls you down to him, and surrounded by you and sunlight and fluttering purple chiffon, he kisses you.

[karaslluthor]

supercorp fanfic masterpost pt.2

this has been in my drafts for over a year so here ya go and hasn't been updated since then but if u haven't read these then ur welcome. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

its literally a big ass list jsyk and i did all the tumblr tags back then so idk if they are still the same users but hopefully lmao. 

original part 1 is here boysss

MULTI FICS

somewhere i have never travelled (http://archiveofourown.org/works/9268886/chapters/21008012)

kara and lena visit all different places lenas lived and then they find a home together and its super cute and fluffy I cry

Paranoia Incarnated - @justmickeyfornow

mickey is my fucking supercorp spiritual guider with the best fucking fic and ive read it about 322934 times and still is sooo good. Also the whole heartbeat thing KILLS me. SO MUCH ANGST but literally its worth the death u go through trust me

Transcendent Interactions 

Kara and lena share this bond thing from birth and can feel each others emotions and they finally meet and its so great like im actually fucking in love with this fic and kara gets herself off all the time thinking lena doesn’t know idk just read it u wont regret I stg

Closer and Closer (Until We Collide) - @hallow777 

Im a slut for bed sharing tropes and this is so CUTE like lenas all freaking out because she keeps waking up cuddling kara and alex is oblivious to everything and its just soooo good

So, This Happened?

Drunk kara leaves drunk alex for a more suitable cuddle buddy aka lena lesbian luthor and lena sleeps in a supergirl t shirt bc of course

Sojourn 

Holy mother of fuck as if this fic didn’t absolutely ruin my fucking life??? Lena has to go to London for a month so she invites kara to come with her and lena has a gay awakening and realises shes in love with kara and its SO FUCKING GOOD

just one wrong move (baby, baby)

lena is having karas baby from this alien tech accidentally! And lena is so loved and its so cute like honestly and obviously they fall in love bc duh

hold me, my dear (and don't let go)

kara is a professional cuddler and lena hires her services bc shes a sad touch starved young lady and deserves to have some hugs in her life hello fluff my old friend discovering the moon 

alex and lena brotp and holy fuck does it deliver!!!! Alex is like a wingwoman we all need and kara and lena just need to communicate tbh but AMAZING

Focus on Something You Love, and Breathe

Lex is a little shit as always and wants to kill lena bc he thinks shes in love with supergirl (which she is) so kara says she can stay with her and obviously the angst is juicy and ruined my life. So. Good. Read. It.

Offstage 

College theatre au but like literally one of the best college aus ive ever read!!!! Lenas just a big lesbian and karas confused and they bang secretly and its glorious

it's a boy!

lena takes in a super powered alien baby that falls from the sky and gets a weird neighbor in the form of kara danvers and theres not many chapters yet so im not sure whats happening with kara yet but im super excited for this!!!

Break My Fall 

Kara dates monel but kisses lena as supergirl and its angsty and smutty and all round a good fucking time

carefulness can be damned 

Post 3x7, literally smut with some plot need I say more??

A Foolish Wit - @seabiscuits-us​

if you haven’t read seabiscuits fics are you even a supercorp fan?? Lena needs a husband and Clark Danvers is positively charming and also actually disguised as a man, I mean.. quality content

In My Veins

im soooo excited for this fic because the lena/alex brotp is written so well!!! Basically lena and alex become really good friends bc they both deal with their issues by drinking obvs and kara thinks they are secretly dating and gets upset and im SO READY FOR THIS ANGST

Would You Catch Me If I Fall For You ('Cause I'm falling) 

This is absolutely amazing and so captivating and I was honestly on edge the whole time kudos to the author!!!!! Kara goes back in time to warn lena about her dying on the venture and lena falls in love with her but she disappears and then when real kara and lena meet, kara doesn’t remember knowing lena and ughsalkdhsla its so good.

We Need a New Song

Oh my good golly gosh this fic ruined my life. Ballet au that has barely any ballet and an abundance of GAY and I had to take a moment after reading this to collect myself tbh

and stick it into someone else's heart 

Rhea infected lenas boobs in a cage dress with some weird alien stuff and her and kara have to bang or THEY’LL DIE pretty much but they love each other

The Laws of Fate 

soulmate au where everyone has a red string and lenas points to the sky and shes confused af but it’s a gay slow burn and the angst is good for ur soul

My Sun 

Lena gets into a car accident and kara thinks she died but lex is a maniac and wants lenas help and fdjsaklfs it’s a rollercoaster let me tell you

Mercy on Me 

lena falls under black mercy and in order to bring her back karas has to break her poor little gay heart bc lena thinks her and kara are in looooove AWWW heart shatters

Be your own Hero 

Collection of supercorp one shots!!!!!! Quality content lemme tell yaaaa

pick a blossom and hold it to your breast (honey, you know that’s my love bursting loud from inside) 

kara and lena rely on their late night phone calls with each other and get the feels and go on a date and they are just cute adorable dorks that are nervous  

your voice is pretty, baby (but i’d rather have your pretty skin instead) 

part 2 of pick a blossom ^^^ still adorably cute and a smut chapter I mean come on, treat yoself

Firsts 

kara and lenas first told in the cutest wayyyyyyyy

Whispers 

lena works with lillian to save supergirl and its oh so angsty and kara always believes her girl bc that’s canon

My personal Santa in heels 

Kara loves Christmas almost as much as she loves lena, almost

Timer 

Soulmate AU where everyone can have a device installed to tell them the time until they meet their soulmate, kara and lena love each other but kara cant have a timer installed obvs kryptonian skin and its so cute and soft and angsty

The Fatal Flaw 

Super cool and different fic and keen to see more chapters from this!! Kara doesn’t have her powers (yet) and she meets lena at a party at college and then clark tells her shes actually an alien ooooo im keen

Stay the night 

Lena inherits the national city womens basketball team and star player kara danvers is a muscly babe and they try not to fall in love BUT ITS JUST TOO HARD BECAUSE THEY ARE SOULMATES also I love jack in this such a wingman

1865 

MATTTTTTTTEEEE lena is the daughter of the governor and shes a little rebel. She falls in love with kara but her family has arranged her marriage to monel BUT LIKE THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH btw they are aliens but like in 1865 so cool. Pls update I love this so much

All Our Bodies in the Grass - @seabiscuits-us​

fuckkkkk this fic honestly, amish au and lena knows nothing but kara is down to help her out while also sharing lovely girl mags ;)

B.F.F.W.E.B

Kara and lena are friends with benefits but feels get involveddddd, lenas a useless lesbian

All the little lies 

Kara comes to earth and falls in love with lena but she has to go back to krypton and breaks lenas heart in the process, but she comes back and its only been like 7 months but its been like 3 years for lena!!! (I cant remember exact dates don’t judge me)

half melted m&m's 

lena needs a fake wife to stay in the country so kara is ever so helpful and agrees to be her wife, oh I do love a fake wife trope and this delivers!!!!

The Wrong Superhero 

Lena gets saved by batwoman and supergirl thinks she is super jealous because of superhero-related reasons but shes just in love with lena

We'll Take on the World 

College au, just useless fools in love that need to communicate and make out more

And they call me from beyond the stars 

Omg I LOVE THIS FIC SO MUCH ok so kara is a ghost (still from krypton and stuff) but no one can see her except lena so lena works on trying to get her back into the physical plane of existence so she can find alex but they FIND LOVE WITH ONE ANOTHER oh my god so angsty let me tell ya be warned

Wait for me to come home 

https://lostariels.tumblr.com/

idk where to even start on this fic honestly, im pretty sure most people have read this bc it’s a rite of passage but fuck it gets me everytime!!!! Army au and there is so much angst and I love it

An Unexpected Surprise 

supercorp baby au!!! Kara and lena bang and kara ends up preggers. Iconic  

Days in a Lifetime 

Kara and lena grow up together, massive slowburn but worth the wait!!!!! ACTUALLY GO AND READ ALL OF STENS BECAUSE I JUST REALISED HOW MANY I PUT IN HERE AND THEY ARE ALL FUCKING GREAT

Do you wanna (like you know I do) - @seabiscuits-us​

another seabiscuit, I couldn’t not put this in!!! CAPE COD and sharing of bunk beds!!! Pls update this my soul is withering away

Purple and Black are my Favorite Colours 

Kara gets in contact with kryptonite that makes her gp! And her and lena b a n g    

ONE SHOTS

danishes and other sweet treats 

oh my fuck this is so cute and its like a long one shot so I mean get on it because kara and lena go to a conference and share a hotel room need I say more  

Sun Kissed 

Kara takes lena on a roadtrip to the science museum for her birthday and my good golly gosh its so cute I could ascend to heaven

Only Human 

A one shot with two chapters in different POV but lenas jealous of monel and then supercorp bang and its all angsty and lena protects kara and tbh they need to communicate but happy endings and love all round

The Right Thing 

Lena freaks out because lex knows her and supergirl are dating and does the most dramatic thing (of course) by distancing herself from kara and did I say angst???/ also I cried multiple times in this

funny how the stars crossed right 

Kara and lena keep meeting at parties and have super dorky costumes and fall in love (literally love anything written by you btw, im going to go ahead and say I would have all yours bookmarked so everyone just check them ALL out)

Accidental Text

kara accidentally sends a love confession to lena and its short and cute!      

Unspoken Promises

supergirl and reign battle and lena finds out about kara being supergirl and supercorp are just obliviously in love

Green (Kara loves it and hates it in equal measure)

Im a sucker for a jealous trope and boy does this deliverrrr. Karas hella jealous of lena having other friends but realises its because shes super in love with her

Crush

Karas jealous because lena is flirting with supergirl but lena knows kara is supergirl so shes actually flirting with kara, nice!

My Donuts

Karas really jealous of sam and lena spending heaps of time together and then kara walks in on them having donuts and she fucking loses it because its their thing duh.

when we get there 

Lena invites kara to her beach house to chill and they obvs fall in love because they are cute af

Have a Break 

Lena is determined to work out how to use a vending machine to get kara her candy and kara and winn are watching it all unfold via cameras in catco, basically lena vs. the machine (himym singing voice)

Self doubt and comforting talks 

Drunk kara, comforting lena fluff and adorableness

Shopping carts and a beautiful girl 

Kara crashes into lenas car in a shopping cart and they go on a date and its SO CUTE

Distractions 

lenas oblivious to kara being supergirl even though kara slips up all the time!!! #nicehalloweencostumekara

Lip Bites & Long Gazes 

lenas a big gay flirt and kara gets frustrated and flustered and calls her out and they make out

Off the Record 

kara spots lena at a gay club and they dance and make out *lizzie mcguire voice this is what dreams are made of*

Not so secret 

the superfriends take a weekend away and kara and lena bang pretty much smut but its cute

come be my lover, be my getaway car 

How many amazing tropes can you fit into one fic (aka the fic that made me lose my fucking mind oh my god its so good, had it include)

A one time thing

Kara and lena end up banging in a motel and kara has an internal meltdown its great

This is Home 

Listen here, this is the most adorable thing my two eyes have ever witnessed. Lena doesn’t really have a home kara the sweet soul she assists her in finding a home with her (aka its kara, kara is her home get it)

Her Biggest Fan 

lena is apart of the supergirl fandom, aka shes me

Drunk Puppy

kara being a drunk gay mess wanting to hunt seashells with lena

Act Natural

kara and lena have hickies and try to hide them on a beach trip with the gang  

Like a date, date 

kara asks lena on a date and lena has a gay panic attack pretty much

Datable 

everyone thinks kara and lena are dating so they just start dating? Amazing

Stop following me, creep 

Please clarify 

Lena tries to tell kara she loves her and wants to date but karas an alien and just doesn’t get it, so cuteeeee

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 1) 

Fate is Written in the Ink (part 2)

Soulmate au!!!! Any ink on your skin appears on your soulmates and omg its so cute like kara draws all this art on herself and lena gets to see it too!!!!!

Muddle my heart (then add a dash of lime) 

Kara keeps going to the bar because punk/bartender Lena is a babe and she has a big lesbian crush on her

be hopeful, don't get broken (stay caught up in the moment) 

angsty dog au and I mean PUPPIEs and SUPERCORP need I say more?

The makings of a family 

Clark is the one who arrives after being stuck in the phantom zone and kara has to look after him and lena helps her out and wow new baby for supercorp

Let Your Guard Down 

Lena in a DEO uniform sparring with kara and its so angsty because lenas mad at kara for not telling her the supergirl secret and then they bang and did I already mention lena in a DEO uniform???  

Do you not like the service here?

Thirsty kara and waitress lena, lenas jealous of alex l o l

here is where time is on our side (part 1) 

our corner of the universe (part 2) 

long oneshot but fuck me its so good. Post daxamite invasion/mon-el coming back and both are healing from everything and go on a roadtrip just wherever the map takes them and oh my fuck its so cute and everything u want in a fic. Part two is the follow up

The Uncanny Valley 

cadmus replaces real lena with a robot version and kara didn’t know but then kara finds lena and its cute  

put these battered bones to rest 

soulmate au (you should know by now im a sucker for a good soulmate au), lena has a foreign name on her hip (its kara btw)

pain

another soulmate au hhehehe soulmates feel each others pain obvs both these babies have a lot of paiiiiiin in their lives

Love is Garbage 

Literally a garbage truck au, im not even going to say more

i know you're out there somewhere waiting (i know the stars can hear us praying) 

Whats this??? Another soulmate au!!! Classic lover one arm, enemy on the other, honestly lena deserves more and just waits for kara to love her and I love this fic, also they help sam!!  

Monster in the Mirror 

Supercorp reveal in the middle of the lena/edge poisoning children episode oooooooh so angsty but happy love ending

Safety 

Supercorp first ever sleepover!!! This is so cute stop

Please Clarify 

Lena tries to ask kara out in every single way possible and kara is an oblivious alien

love is a flower, you gotta let it grow 

Unrequited love makes u grow flower petals in your lungs but when ur love is returned it clears up, this was dope and I love ur work

where our hands hurt from healing - @seabiscuits-us​

its seabiscuit do I need to say more?????? I will tho. Alex and lena match on tinder and become besties and I live for alex/lena brotp so….

blessed be (the mystery of love) - @seabiscuits-us​ 

*dj Khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE, look I love every single fic this one does not disappoint and nothing like a good light hearted first date fisting hahahahahaha

The Luthor and the Super That Saved the World 

Fit it fic for the season three finale where there is more supercorp and less shit writing, LOVE STENS WORK

Kara Danvers and the Brown Belt of Lesbianism 

Karas gay brown belt that she always wears that makes her look like a big ol lesbian drives lena mental bc she so gay

SIN

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BY JAZZFORDSHIRE IM NOT FUCKING JOKING LET YOURSELF FALL INTO THIS SMUTFEST AND LIVE UR BEST FUCKING LIFE AND IF YOU HAVENT READ THE CAMPING AU UR NOT EVEN A SUPERCORP STAN

Pleasure 

like sweat dripping down our dirty laundry 

What Happens in the K Room Doesn't Stay in the K Room 

green-eyed monster

Kara shows Lena what makes her Super 

Supergirl, Kara, and a Luthor walk into a bar... 

Late Night Heroics 

Good Vibrations 

Two Lena Luthors and a blonde walk into a bedroom... 

Her perfect match 

Girls' Night 

Happy Halloween, Supergirl 

What She Wants 

make the rules then break them 

an animal within an animal 

THE WILDEST THING IVE EVER READ, STRAP THE FUCK IN (youll understand my pun when you’ve read it)