#ohhh this feeling is hell and heaven in one thing

[marauderswolf22]

oh god im in the phase when im something between "i want to cry because of fictional or non fictiontal but not touching me things that makes my heart melts" and "i want to write something where my fav fictional character cry over those things"

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

analyzing some images (for fun)

so i found this pair of promotion images for good omens season 1 on the good omens reference library server and it’s hooked me so so bad im having feelings about it. we’re analyzing them now. not really for meta purposes just fun to see the parallels and differences :)

everything under the cut !

unique traits

aziraphale:

1) his plank background. its older, its crisp, it smells like wood from the screen. mmmm

2) the pencil shavings at the bottom. he does a lot of writing honestly, so i like this. also adds a messy and cozy vibe he always seems to have in that shop…. i like that blessed shop fr

3) his SUSHI. little soy sauce drops near it too—just the right amount of deliberate mess. our first formal introduction to aziraphale in the present day and beginning the Tomfoolery just happens to have sushi... i watch that scene and i go “yeah, that sums up aziraphale i suppose” very nicely. (they dont have sushi Up There) (im literally never gonna forget that)

4) the ray of light shining on the scene. tiny thing, but a bit of the heaven is peeking through..it also sort of blurs the whole image but i think thats just me.

5) and we’ve saved the best for last: the big whopper. the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nutter, witch. I LOVE THAT BOOK!!!!!!! i cant remember if that ring stain was there but if it isnt in the show on the actual book i’d assume thats to add that ‘thy cocoa doth grow cold’ thing. ALSO. you know what’s being used as a bookmark in the pages?? a check for the ritz. he bookmarked their one chance for living . with a ritz check . MMMMMM. my GOD. that means so much to me even if i cant convey it in words. he KEEPS THE CHECKS 😭😭😭😭😭😭

crowley:

1) let me get my favorite out of the way. crowley’s glasses have fire in their reflection. we’ll talk about the glasses themselves later but the REFLECTION IN THEM. fucking FIRE, BOOKSHOP fire, PAIN, SRIVING THROUGH THE M-25, HELL, I DONT KNOWIM HAVING FEELINGS!!! i do believe this is a bookshop fire reference though, the flames feel too Familiar. the lengths people will go to to attack others 🤧

2) the leather seat background!!!!!!! probably meant to look similar to the bentley’s seats but i cant recall their texture, exactly. maybe just meant to convey modernness—unsure. still, its there <3

3) the tiny little crisp plant </3 its trying his damned best to stay perfect. it might a specific plant that means something, but i cant tell at thsi angle, so i’ll assume its a mini version of the ficus he keeps in the flat. its so SMALL and sitting in ANOTHER POT i CANT

4) the snake slithering!! black and red (in this image it looks orange lol) bellied scales!!!! slithering there, chilling, being crowley, showing hints. love it

5) QUEEN RECORD!!!!! TRYING TO OVERRIDE IT WITH TCHAIKOVSKY!!!!!! the tape over it does a reminisence to crowley’s handwriting, but in a clean ‘this made made to be a font’ way. not exactly just yet. ive become a fan of tchaikovsky recently. amazing darling wonderful crowley, trying to push the rock up the hill for eternity 😞

6) HIS LITTLE DEMON KEY THING. HOLDING A TINY LITTLE BENTLEY CAR KEY OHHH. thats how he doesnt lose the tiny key despite probably not needing one of those. and he CHOSE that intentionally probably. little wings and red circle….URGHHHHHHH

similarities

mmmmm now here’s the good shit. similarities! i’ll bullet point most of them but ohhhhh. ohhhh these. i’ll go from top to bottom as best i can….

1) one of their shoes, obviously. crowley has them iconic snakeskin shoes while aziraphale has his old loafers like the old loafer he is /pos

2) chateauneuf de pape wine bottle labels! (crowley’s is under his glasses, aziraphale’s is next to his shoe). oh my fucking god theyre MATCHING. the labels are old, battered, of course labeling the drink’s age, but mmmmm its these tiny details that get me going….

3) their respective drinks in their mugs—crowley’s a black mug coffee (or what looks to be coffee) and aziraphale’s angel mug tea (or what looks to be tea). i think about that mug sometimes. where did he get that from?? mystery for the ages….

4) their glasses, of course. crowley’s iconic sunglasses and aziraphale’s reading spectacles. i cant really tell the reflections in this pair, but if its supposed to be fucking fire, im done with this. im giving up forever

5) their own watches! aziraphale’s is visibily older while crowley’s is visibly modern, but they function just the same. also, crowley’s is set to 2:56:59 (presumably PM), which is around the time we see when crowley starts checking his watch at warlock’s birthday party. its almost time for disaster to strike!! 😃

6) and finally….their ties!! they have their own ties!!! or more accurately, neck accessories, but i digress. i mesn i assume its crowley’s neck tie, because the fabric looks… different. either way, crowley’s neck thingie is very whispy and aziraphale has his funky little bowtie i love so much,,,

okay thats it. there’s no canonical implications, any fantheories, none of the sort. just saw a pair of images and my mind went GOD DAMN!!!!!! theyre very important to me. i need to look at more promo material 😔

[coffeecatcraze]

Hello. I like your Chaggie analysis posts and wanted to ask you if you could another analysis on the couple. In this case, a tumblr user, angeltheninth, said they saw an interview of the couple's VAs and one of the highlights include saying that "Chaggie is at the core of the show". I was wondering ig you could do an analysis on what that could mean in the future and how it applies even in season 1. Again, only if you want to, and if not, I totally understand.

Ohhh this was fun!! I took a while to think about it and get it written out for a few reasons (such as working on fanfics and tragically having to do adulting things), and I'm sure I didn't pin down all the little ideas circling my brain about this, but here are my current thoughts on the matter!

To kick off with the obvious, they're the ones who started this. Charlie had a dream, and Vaggie was the only one who believed in her; and even with how hard it's been, they've still been fighting to make the hotel work. And it DOES. They're the first people since Lucifer and Lilith to look at things and say "hm, that doesn't seem right, let's try this" instead of just going along with it. Lucifer and Lilith led everyone into a new era with their dream of freedom, and with the Sir Pentious being redeemed and ascending to Heaven even after Sera said it as impossible, a new era looks to be exactly where Charlie and Vaggie are heading with their dream of protection. Yes, protection, because Charlie's goal to redeem demons comes from a desire to save their lives, not for the sake of making them better people. Protection has been a MASSIVE theme this season, expressed in song, dialogue, and action; and Charlie and Vaggie are the ones who kickstarted it in the first place.

And as far as "redemption" goes, using "redemption" as a term to encompass personal growth, Vaggie was the first person Charlie ever redeemed. She found her badly injured and took her in, helping a complete stranger out of the goodness of her heart; and Vaggie, a former participant in annual genocide, threw her whole self into Charlie's dream of redeeming Sinners to save Hell. Vaggie's redemption didn't come in the form of active encouagement towards it as a goal, but just as a result of being around Charlie. Charlie redeemed her without even trying. Vaggie was her first redemption story and she didn't even realize it until Rosie pointed it out. In other words, Vaggie was always walking proof that Charlie could redeem people who did horrible things. She never wanted to get back to Heaven; she was after redemption for her own sake, and for Charlie.

Choosing redemption for redemption's sake is the core of it all. Pentious wasn't trying to get into Heaven when he sacrificed himself; Angel had no way of knowing Charlie could see what he was doing at that club, so he very easily could have fallen back into old habits and called it a cheat day. But because they were genuinely becoming redeemed thanks to Charlie and Vaggie's efforts, they made selfless choices. Vaggie's redemption was real, and now these other souls Charlie took in are following in her footsteps. In other words, Vaggie was the original redemption story, and if she could become a better person even with all that blood on her hands, she knew other people could too; she supported Charlie's dream because she knew it worked, and she stayed by her side no matter how hard things got for them. Their relationship is what set the first ever real redemption into motion; they're at the core of redemption itself.

Themes of protection and love are also INCREDIBLY important in this show, and I'm not gonna cite my assorted Chaggie posts like a bibliography, but I feel like I've talked quite a bit about them being loving and protective. Their relationship is steady and stable, and there's an implicit understanding between them that comes from years of being together. They have rough spots but they get through them. They love and protect each other fiercely. Angel, Husk, Pentious, and Niffty have been learning to love and protect as well. How could they not, when they have such a great example to follow? If not for Charlie and Vaggie being such a united front, things would have turned out much less favorably for everyone.

Working together is what gets them through the hard times; they can't do this on their own. Look at what happened when they were off on their own missions in 1x07! Charlie was struggling until Rosie helped her sort through her conflicted feelings and realize that even though she was hurt, she still loved Vaggie and knew Vaggie believed in her; Vaggie was absolutely getting her ass kicked until Carmilla reminded her what (or more specifically who) her reason for fighting was, at which point she held her own, regrew her fucking wings, and impressed one of Hell's top Overlords. They succeeded because even with things so tense, they knew they had each other and they weren't alone. And isn't everyone supporting each other what that hotel is ultimtely all about? It's basically rehab, and for that, a strong support system really pays off. Their relationship essentially embodies the concepts that guide the hotel.

I know that's a lot more overall analysis than specifics about the future or season 1, but I feel like there are some implications in there, and it's hard to lay them out more explicitly in a frame of temporal reference. (Thanks for running out on me with no refills, ADHD meds, that's sooo helpful for getting coherent thoughts together...) They are indeed, in so many ways, the core of both the Hazbin Hotel and the show itself. I'm flattered you like my analysis posts enough to ask me about this, and I hope it was a satisfactory answer!!!

[fullt4nk]

submit to me (shuriri x reader) 18+

hey 🤭 this is my first time writing on tumblr and im lowk scared.. like what do I even say in one of these authors notes things??? prolly gonna pop up every once in a while with smth for people to read idk yet tho 🤷🏾‍♀️

gotta give cred where it’s due, this is heavily inspired by @generallysapphic their works are incredible

warnings: reader and riri are subby lil whores, tribbing, lottaaaa lotta lotta sex, basically porn w/o plot, voyeurism if yew squint, maybe a lil degradation if yew squint

some translations: zithandwa zam- my loves, uthando- love, khawulezisa- hurry up

bored, bored, bast i’m so bored.

I have gotten no attention from my loves all day and I was starting to get angsty. swinging my legs back and forth on the desk I was sitting on, I played around with riri’s hammer that was placed on the desk and hummed a small tune.

riri walked over to me as I jumped from my place on the desk; finally, some attention. I smiled at her expectingly as she walked over, excited be with one of my girlfriends.

she walked right behind me to reach for her tool box. well damn.

as she picked up a tool from her took box she turns to shuri, “shuri catch,” she yelled, throwing a wrench from her tool box right towards shuri.

she caught the wrench with ease. “how many times do I need to tell you to stop throwing heavy objects around riri?” last time riri threw a cogwheel towards shuri without looking, she broke a prototype shuri spent hours working on… it didn’t go well for her.

“my bad baby,” she said walking back to her original spot at her desk. I watched them work with a hot feeling in my stomach. damn they look good. with shuri in nothing but a tank top and sweats, i watched her arms flex every time she used that wrench. riri had on a sports bra and shorts. i watched her perfectly pierced nipples on display through the bra as thoughts of my lips attached to them racked through my mind

I could feel myself getting more fidgety as i watched their bodies move and work away at whatever they were building. at this point, anything was better than sitting and watching them work themselves to death in this damn lab. an idea popped into my mind and I fake a yawn best I can, throwing my hands above my head and stretching. my slightly cropped shirt lifted and a small portion of my midriff became exposed as riri watched me, eyes drifting.

just what I wanted

“you good?” she questioned. she looked me up and down and she could tell how bored I was just by looking into my eyes. “we’ll be there in a minute just wait a little longer baby.”

“nah i’m tryna take a nap… i’ll be back in a minute,” I said, looking and riri with a certain look. she immediately caught on to what I meant by “nap” and bit her lip.

“um yeah shuri I think imma go too. we been working since 7am and i’m tired as hell,” she said, only half meaning it. yeah she was tired, but not tired as in “I wanna sleep” tired. tired as in “i’m tired of working and wanna mess around” tired.

“you two go ahead, i’ll be there for diner.” shuri gave riri a kiss on the forehead and walked over to me to hug me. “get some rest, zithandwa zam.”

“haaah fuck please please please,” I whined and writhed all over the place. riri’s clit rubbing against mine having too big of an effect on my orgasm. “please don’t stop. need it need it so bad.”

“nghh im gonna cum fuck i’m gonna cum so hard ohhh my god,” riri’s eyes were glued shut as she wailed and moaned on top of me. her dripping pussy on mine like felt like heaven that I never wanted to let go of. and fuck the sounds she made, all whiny and high pitch. she especially got like this whenever we were tribbing, saying it was her favorite way to get off.

“please, please, please, wanna cum, fuck i wanna cum, i wanna cum all over your beautiful pussy please let me cum!” she babbled into my neck as my legs shook. fuck she’s cumming, I can feel her pussy get impossibly wetter. it drips against my folds and it’s just enough to send me over the edge.

“cumming, cumming, cumming im cumming-!” I silently screamed into riri’s chest and softly bit her nipple to quiet myself down. “ngh-! fuck fuck baby do that again please,” she begged

I softly bit her nipple again looking into her brown eyes, licking and biting softly as she moaned and squirmed in my arms. because her nipples were pierced, her sensitivity was through the roof as she arched her back, forcing her chest further into my face. I couldn’t help it as I began moving against her, wanting more friction on my clit. I knew I was overstimulating her, but god she felt so good.

“shit please baby please,” at this point I was begging just to beg. I just wanted more of her and her creamy pussy on mine. I wanted to smother myself in her chest as I sucked and nibbled on her perky nipples. fuck I could do this all day.

“wow. so I leave you two alone for 30 minutes and you’re already going at it like you’re in heat.”

fuck.

riri is quick to jump down from my lap, leaving my wet cunt exposed to shuri. “f-fuck um-“ riri panicked looking anywhere and everywhere to avoid shuri’s piercing gaze.

“shhh no need uthando. both of you, go back to what you were doing.” she tilted her head to the side and smirked in amusement. she was planning something, I could see it in the way she looked me up and down.

“please shuri-“ I whined as my breathing picked up, excited to know what she had in mind. “nope, no help from me. c’mon give me a show you two. i’ve been working so hard to protect this nation, i think I deserve a private performance.” she is vividly eyeing my fluttering cunt chuckling at it’s reaction to her presence.

me and riri are looking at her like deer in headlights, wide eyed and shocked at shuri’s request. we’ve never done anything like this before and judging by the look on riri’s face, she’s just as shocked and turned on as I am.

“khawulezisa, i don’t have all day,” she demands in a deep voice, thick with her accent, and fuck it’s so sexy. she takes off her tank top and throws it somewhere around the room, exposing her perfect torso and breasts. riri slowly climbs on top of me again and her clit slightly rubs against mine, making us both moan out.

we slowly find our rhythm again, grinding against each other with our eyes shut. there’s a new found feeling that makes me clench around nothing, knowing that shuri is watching me and riri moan and rub against each other. our chests are rubbing against each other, making riri pant even louder and heavier.

shurir stalks her way over to the bed to whisper in riri’s ear, “you like having your nipples played with like this?” as reaches between us, she’s squeezes and rubs riri’s nipples. riri moans in ecstasy, rubbing faster against me. shuri’s low voice in riri’s ear is enough to have her like a bitch in heat, grinding her pussy on me. “nngh, fuck riri slow down!” our clits gaining more friction causes a high pitch whine to escape my lips, as my eyes roll back; god this feels so good.

“haaa fuck shuri please. need you so bad, need to feel you, need to feel you deep- haah!” moans and pleads roll off my tongue like it’s nothing, begging shuri to fuck me. “poor usana, need something long and thick in this pretty pussy huh? what, riri isn’t enough anymore? she seemed like enough before I walked in here,” she says, reaching in between us to run her fingers through my folds. she rubs against me and riri, as we grind into shuri’s hand.

shuri could feel the wet spot between her draws as she watched her love’s pathetically rub against each other. she wanted nothing more than to take them right then and there, but she had to be patient and enjoy the scenery in front of her. “wanna cum usana? wanna cum for me? c’mon cum all over each other. fuck, it’s so wet I can see it. I can hear it. go on my love’s, cum for me.”

fuck that’ll do it.

riri is absolutely gone. shaking, crying of overstimulation, moaning, she was all fucked out as her thick creamy cum spilled over my pussy and shuri’s hand. my cum mixing in with hers as I bit into her neck to quiet my squeals.

“look at you two, such good girls for me yeah?” shuri’s lips connected with mine as she slipped her tongue into my mouth. fuck she drives me crazy as her tongue explores and licks every crevice of my mouth. she detaches from me, a string of spit keeping us together.

she turns to lean into riri, as riri completely opens her mouth for shuri, reaching her tongue out. shuri sucks on riri’s tongue, slow and sensually, letting her tongue into her mouth and bobbing her head up and down. riri whines and pinches her nipple, feeling her cunt clenched around nothing.

shuri slaps her hands away from her breasts and says “patience my love, i’ll take care of you..”

LMFOAOA I PRESSED THE POST BUTTON TOO SOON BY ACCIDENT 😭

but we’re already rackin up some typa engagement ok I see y’all !!

maybe i’ll write more, who knows BUT FOR NOW THIS IS WHAT I GOT

[iznsfw]

Chaewon anal pls :3

Fancam

IZ Days of Christmas: Day 6 - Kim Chaewon

LE SSERAFIM's Kim Chaewon x Male Reader Smut

3455 words

Categories: BUTT STUFF (anal + ass eating), brat!Chaewon, cunnilingus, rough sex, spanking, mirror sex, masturbation, doggy style, fingering, squirting, inspired from how a BFH happens + dirty thoughts

I couldn't complete the initial draft, so I just combined it all together but still made it fit the story like the clever little fucker I am. Enjoy.

For @kaedespicelatte ❤

Your cock goes through more bouts of stimulation in these minutes than your other body parts have ever felt in their lives. It suffers—or rather, enjoys, the feel of your fist bobbing up and down its girth as you imagine that your hand is not actually itself, but rather, your favorite idol's cunt.

"Oh, oh, fuck! Fuck, Kim Chaewon, you're so tight!" you yell out, speaking out loud to her in spite of knowing she won't hear you.

Yes, that is her name. You have never felt more of a degenerate and a blushing schoolgirl at the same time. This fourth generation idol does things to you. She's an adorable girl, but it's inevitable to see the hot side to her. As the concepts of her group, IZ*ONE, matures along with the members, she does, too. She becomes even more attractive.

You'd close your eyes to picture her bouncing on your cock better, but that would rob you of seeing the looped muted videos playing on your computer: Chaewon sensually gyrating her ass side to side, in accordance with the choreography of the most recent IZ*ONE comeback: Panorama.

Oh, she knows what she is doing. The smug look reflecting in her eyes, her smile... no one can tell you that Chaewon doesn't know the effect she has on her fans. What, with that tight little body and ass, she can send each and every one of the fans who adore her to heaven. Hell might be a better place for you since you love to lust over this girl so much, but you don't care one bit. You'd set yourself on fire if it meant a chance with her.

In short, and to keep all those pathetic statements, you are a big fan of Kim Chaewon. Too big of a fan, you know, but it is what it is. She's too attractive of a girl to not do... this.

As the videos transition to a new outfit and new angles, you close your eyes and let your mind run wild. What if....

±

"Oppa, are these shorts too tight on me?"

No. Well, actually, yes. You purposely styled her navy blue shorts that way so it accents her hips and butt, to appeal to the fans. It's your job as her stylist to design good outfits for her that fit the comeback concept and also pleasure the eyes and flesh, but now, it has backfired. The plan you have made is slowly starting to take you as its victim, too.

Chaewon raises the shorts higher, smoothing her fingers on the fabric as it wraps around her tiny body. Your mouth practically waters.

Chaewon, with her dark blue hair curled and cheeks blushed, snaps her fingers in front of your face. "Hello? Hellooo? Oppa, you good?"

"Y-yeah!" you say nervously. Laugh a little at yourself because of how weak you particularly are around Chaewon. You're a professional stylist—you are blunt, but charming enough for richer customers like those from Swing Entertainment, and most importantly: professional, but cool enough for the idols to pull jokes around you.

However, you are none of those things. At least, not in front of Chaewon whom you cannot seem to put your work personality on for. You get along with Eunbi and the other members professionally just fine. Yena has even become one of your best friends. So why can you never act right around her?

"Ohhh." Chaewon draws out the word with a sense of understanding. Afterwards, she sets her hands on her hips and smiles knowingly. "You're one of them now."

"Huh? One of who?"

"One of those fans. Those fans who never want to do anything but worship my body. That's who."

You feel a little guilty now. Have you overstepped on her boundaries? Yes, it is your job to cater to IZ*ONE's male-dominated fanbase, but that does not mean you have to become like them, too. No, you only admire Chaewon in a proper manner. You like her because she is pretty and has a sweet voice, not just because of her body!

Her body that is just so hot and tight...

Chaewon leaning over one of the dressing tables and wiggling her ass is no help at all. She giggles profoundly, as if her doing that was a completely innocent thing, and smiles again. "What if," she says, and pauses, letting the suspense take over, " I let you? "

Is she serious?

You have no time to think about it. As if you were controlled by a perverted puppetmaster, you walk over and smack Chaewon's ass. She gasps deliciously, biting her lower lip, whether for more seduction or simply her libido is unknown. But you set that thought aside to take it all in: how Chaewon's buttcheek feels so soft yet firm at the same time, completely spankable; the wet spot your fingers touch on as you slap her ass and part of her center. Chaewon is as needy as she is evil, so her eyes send you a request. Without words, you understand what she wants you to do.

But foreplay is essential. Taking this into consideration, you close the distance between you till it is almost nonexistent. Her thighs feel great in your palms. You've never noticed how pretty they are before. Pale and thick, they feel like pillows beneath your touch. They are sensitive as well; Chaewon whimpers softly while you take your sweet time with them.

"Yes, I've wanted to fuck you for so long, oppa~" she confesses out of the blue. The mirror reflects your actions performed onto Chaewon's beautiful figure. Most importantly, they show her face: the makeup for the comeback performance makes her siren eyes look even more seductive. Her lips are painted a perfect ruby red. "Everytime I saw you arrange the clothes for the girls, and how passionate you are about everything, I felt so... needy. I've wanted you since the day I met you."

"That makes two of us," you chuckle softly. Kiss her back as gently as you can, somehow assuring yourself through it that you can hold yourself back from ravaging her immediately.

The day you met Chaewon enters your mind. She still uses the same perfume from that day. She had worn an adorable blue and strawberry red sailor-themed dress. You loved its design, so you had reached her, complimented her performance and how she looks in it, and asked who made it for her. When she replied that she had designed and sewn it herself, you were surprised. You already knew that Kim Chaewon is talented, but you somehow forgot that her capabilities are also strong outside of vocals and dance.

She looked adorable. You were both the same age with big dreams that were just recently attained. And now... she looks beautiful. She has always been pretty, but there is a mature side to her now. If you were to be a little more explicit... hot?

"Did you know, Chaewon, that I put a very special feature in these shorts?" you ask, grinning. Feel around her crotch area to render her moaning needily.

"Mm, and what is it?" she asks. Her eyes are closed. They flutter wide open suddenly. "Oh!"

You've inserted a finger inside her. Her wet walls tense due to the unexpected intrusion. Smirk as you explain: "I added a secret zipper. Just so I can fuck you safely whenever I get the chance."

"Mmm, oh..." Chaewon rides your finger in dizzying circles, head thrown back. And it is so much hotter to watch her in motion in the mirror—it reflects the need in her eyes, the talented sway of her hips, and most importantly, her rounded mouth when she lets out her beautiful moans. "W-what's stopping you then, oppa? Why don't you just take me?"

Quicken the wiggle of your finger inside her to reach the right spots. Chaewon gasps out girlishly, looking back at you as if she expects you to just get to it. That's how most of her fans would have done, but you are no ordinary fan of hers. You are her stylist, someone she trusts and someone she actually wants to fuck her.

"It's just so fun to tease you. Look at Chaewonie all red and blushing."

She does. She gazes in the mirror and sees her own flushed face, and becomes redder. Since when did she become this horny for anyone? There's been the occasional boy toy here and there, yet she always finds herself wanting you.

"Please, oppa," she begs, with a cherry on top. Her own cherries must have been rock hard under her bra right now. They poke through the fabric, not protrudingly enough to show an imprint, but still tweakable. They are your findings in the experiment that is "Explore Kim Chaewon: erect, yet soft tempting things that slide against your palm.

Stop fingering her for a while to smack her ass again. This time, you do not hold back. Its impact sends Chaewon's hips jerking forward. She cries out in pain, but your focus is on the way her fat ass cheeks ripples in your hand.

"Say it again," you command firmly. Your eyes seal onto the reflections of Chaewon's in the reflective glass. She whines, not knowing what to do being put in a situation like this, so you spank her again. "Say it again, Chaewon-ah."

"Oppa, can you—pretty please?—fuck my ass?"

Her words are the perfectly written code to trigger the following events: the zipper being wrung even higher, and your cock sliding up into Chaewon's asshole. The tightness is overwhelming; all the lube you've used is the natural wetness from her cunt.

Now, Chaewon arcs her back and screams. Her virginal asshole is not used to your size nor girth, but the pain only extracts more juice from her cunt. It is even wetter than from when you fingered her. She bites her lip in order to quiet herself down, but you slam into her ass harder, knocking her into the table.

"Ah! Oppa!"

"Scream louder," you command. Grasp her by the waist and start to pound her fervently. The puckered hole just grips you so well. What else can you do but let it? Hell, even make it?

Chaewon whimpers. "But what if someone hears? Oppa!" She screams again because of your cock roughly jerking to the depths of her ass, amplifying the pleasure that warms her whole body.

"Let them, they might even join in on the fun."

Chaewon considers this, and you can tell that deep inside, she has to confess that she likes the idea. Imagining someone coming in as you pound her before the mirror in the salon... it is a fantasy that she has not even considered.

She gasps as you add your fingers inside her cunt again. Her gasp turns into a wail; she's being fille din both holes simultaneously, and you are in no way being gentle. Your fingertips dig into a rougher texture, making Chaewon cry out. That is how you know you've reached her G-spot. Start to rub into that spot more and kiss her delicate neck and ears. Capture her earlobe with your teeth and increase the speed of your drills.

"Mm, ahh, fuck, oppa!" Chaewon wails needily. The penetration from both holes is becoming too much. She is just being stretched too well. All her sensitive places are being overstimulated. But she can't cum now! Not when you're jerking into her so perfectly and her mouth is lewdly slack as she watches herself in the mirror. Not when your cock stretches her tight asshole so perfectly that it is nearly agape!

"No, no, can't cum yet!" Chaewon's ass sways just like the part of the choreography you've watched for so long, again and again. "Can't cum y-yet—ahhh!"

Girl cum floods your hand like a storm. Chaewon's scream of pleasure is the thunder. The lightning speed of her body squirming and bucking into yours brings you to your orgasm, too. Her asshole has become incredibly tight despite the stretch your cock has made, wringing ribbons of cum from its tip and filling her ass with semen.

Such a shame that this has to end. You want to stay in the heavens of her ass forever.

Deftly pull out with pants that mirror Chaewon's. Her shorts are now ruined. Her creampied ass wets the fabric along with her own cum. It's filthy—you know you should be angry that her need to be ruined has done its own way of ruining the shorts you've painstakingly sewn and designed, but in that moment, you don't mind. You don't mind one bit.

±

That's your first orgasm for the night. Your cum has spurted all over your shorts and shirt. You are beyond exhausted; you have been wanking off to Chaewon all night, and your mind has gone to places you never knew could reach.

You can't move nor speak, so instead, you look at your desktop wallpaper of her in the background. She is beautiful—her tongue is cutely stuck out as she mimicks a Kuromi expression. A picture that is supposed to be cute suddenly gives you an idea again.

Sigh and wrap your hand back on your cock. Here we go again.

±

"You're just so boringgg! Why can't we do it?"

If you were a different person and were told that those words came from a five-year-old girl spoiled by overly adoring parents, you would have believed it. But you aren't a different person and Chaewon isn't five; she's twenty-fucking-two years old and your girlfriend.

It's the weekend, and Chaewon has decided, because you are home, to be brattier than ever. You know your endless scolding and spankings won't stop her because she thrives on those like a little devil with each sin you make, so you try to ignore her loud complaints as you go through your phone.

She sits on the floor, legs folded beneath her, throwing another temper tantrum. You're used to it, but it still annoys you to no end.

"Why can't we do it?" she whines, slapping your knee. "Other couples do it a lot! But you won't let me!"

You ignore her, subtly rolling your eyes and scrolling through your phone. Cool, another funny dog video. But that doesn't evoke a laugh from you; you're too riled up by Chaewon to even chuckle.

You know what she's asking from you, and you are not about to give in.

It's not that you don't want to, per se; it's that you are afraid that it might hurt her. Even if she begs for it day or night, you aren't sure you can go ahead without hurting her.

Despite Chaewon's brattiness (both in and out of your sex life), you still love her and would not want to put her in pain.

"Why can't you put it in my ass too? Are you scared?"

Yeah, that's correct: Kim Chaewon has been begging you to do anal. You know it sounds ridiculous that she has to plead for it from you, but you have your reasons.

Reasons that you are having difficulty keeping.

But you roll your eyes. Fine, you'll bite.

Place your phone down on the sofa, your eyes trained on her with a squint. "Chaewon, I'm tired of this."

"I am too!" she fires back.

"And I'm not scared, Chaewon."

"Oh? Then fuck me."

"Easy," you say, licking your lips. You are about to reach for her when Chaewon shakes her head.

"Uh-uh! You don't just fuck me…I want you to fuck me in the ass."

You should have seen that coming. The little brat.

but if she wants it that bad…

Your mind is a large fire of frustration. Your girlfriend is being the most annoying person on Earth right now, and the pent-up tension between the two of you isn't helping at all. Not one bit.

Your hands quivering, you grab Chaewon without thinking and throw her on the sofa. She screams, whether out of excitement or actual fear is unknown to you. You simply wring her panties and shorts from her legs, finally giving in after abstaining from it for so long.

"Fuck, oppa, what are you doing?" Chaewon asks. Her legs are pushes back in the air. She gasps when you blow cold air all over her pussy, and the round brown hole that has barely been used.

"Lubing you up, what else?"

Chaewon moans with pleasure when your lips connect with her lower ones. Your tongue slides over her lips, flicking her clit, and licking its sensitive form repeatedly.

Chaewon practically quivers from gratification. She lies back to enjoy your oral attack, but you aren't about to give her a gentle way in. Not at all. You grab her thighs and wildly wiggle your tongue inside her, lapping up the juices that eventually start flowing. Lick from the bottom a stripe that finishes sharply on her clit, before trying out something new.

Your tongue prods against her brown hole. "Oh!" Chaewon screams, hands on her mouth as she watches you. She loses sight of you; she can only see stars as this oddly new sensation ripples through her body. Would she like it? Or would she regret asking you to expand your horizons in bed?

Your tongue eases in through the tight hole and backs out, too. It isn't quite anything like you expected. She tastes... delicious? Her juices flow down to her peach and make it easier to eat it, adding to the delicious flavor that is and only is Kim Chaewon.

"Fuck, oppa, you eat my ass so well!" cries out Chaewon. Her asshole tightens around your tongue, but you continue to lick and lap. All the while, your nose also provides constant stimulation to her clit with unintended but welcome rubs.

Chaewon's thighs crash into your head. You actually start to run out of air. You have kept at alternating eating out her ass and pussy, have become so inmersed in eating her out that you forget yourself. Inhale sharply through your nose and let her feminine scent invade your senses, just like how your tongue does to the wet and tight cunt and her unexpectedly delicious ass. It doesn't help that Chaewon keeps wiggling her cunt in your face, forcing you to continue eating her out with no break. Your plan of not giving her rest throughout this session has backfired on you, too.

Luckily, Chaewon is close. She announces it loudly, breath catching in her throat, before she screams loudly. She suddenly tears at your hair and forces you to keep your tongue wildly wiggling in both of her holes, sliding over her erogenous zones and filling them both. It is too much for a one-guy job, and you aren't too sure you can handle it. You aren't sure if you can handle her.

You start to spank Chaewon's thighs wildly, a sign for her to back out. You fire angry slaps at her ass too, but no matter how red and sore they become, they remain around your head. She's desperate, now, but you are, too. Who will win this game? Chaewon, who is squeezing her own breasts and lying back on the sofa pillows moaning, or you—her good-for-nothing daddy?

It's obvious now. Daddies always give in. Might as well do so in a way that pleasures you, too.

Soon, Kim Chaewon is upside-down. She is slobbering all over your cock, diligently blowing its girth, while you give your all into eating her cunt out. You groan; you forgot how good she is at giving you head. Such a pity you are out of breath to praise her. At least your hips are diligently knocking into that cute little face, causing her to gag wildly.

±

Wow.

You are stunned at the thoughts your own mind can create. The clarity of it all makes your nth orgasm less intense. Although you have had your head full of thoughts about Kim Chaewon—her bending over and letting you take her ass, and her being bratty as you eat her out—only one thought remains clear:

I should become a smut writer.

You have read them before, and it is possibly that which has led to all this feral feelings over Chaewon. You have fantasized a lot before, but you have never actually considered writing them down or posting them.

Perhaps you could—no, you should—write them down. Maybe someone out there will like them enough. Tumblr is always a good place to start.

Determined, you wipe yourself down and clean your place up. You log into your barely touched Google Documents account, add a fresh new document, and start to write.

[ourestcape]

hello first, this is inheet (my other account name) I can't post there anymore so I'll use this account from now on.

this is a short smut since I'm back again.

[TEASE]

WARN: Jay × fem reader. kinda messy lol. lots of error [since English is not my language] | smut, unprotected sex. Jay wants to be fuck by the reader, eating ***** and more😉

You only came to study with him for the impending test, but you couldn't help but look at him as he bit his lips.

he's handsome

In his condo, you two were. he's thinking the same thing

either he's fucking you or you fucking him.

you both take a seat on his bed. you only accept his invitation to visit his condo also you purposefully act in this way inviting him to fuck you

he continued to stare at you as his face drew nearer to try to touch your lips with his he softly kissed you, nibbling your neck, and yawning for more.

while he was licking your neck, leaving marks, you asked him, "Jay, what's your fantasy?"

"I want you to fuck me"

"really"

"You could say that," He said

"That's my fantasy."

"Have you relived that fantasy of yours?" His voice was full of curiosity. Shit. Why did he seem to be turned on at the thought of you doing that to him?

It shook its head. "nah. no girl has ever asked me what my fantasy is" He grinned wickedly. "It's you, so I should do the same to you."

his lips parted at the same time his cheeks warmed. But he immediately erased the embarrassment he felt

he would have all of you tonight

"I want to try it"

He froze and stared dumbfoundedly at you

He looked up into the air and took off all the remaining coverings. you're now naked you felt no shame

"Kneel in front of me" you whispered to jay before lying on the bed

"Okay." It was a short response before following your order

his face settled between your parted legs. his mouth was just a breath away from your mound. you could feel his hot breath hitting her womanhood

"My pleasure," he replied.

he opened your thigh even more at the same time he kissed your womanhood. when his tongue touched your clit, it felt so fucking good it felt so hot and sexy!

jay lapped your mound

"Ohhh, jay ah ah..." He tugged at you with one hand and buried his head further into your womanhood.

you were almost going crazy with the pleasure of him licking it

It felt so fucking good!

The feeling was inexplicably delicious. you craved more! and he was very grateful to go even faster

his tongue mixed with your juice. "Ahhh Oh, god...faster! More! Lick me more! Make it fast-Ohhh, shit."

His grunts almost filled the entire room he his moans became even louder

you felt as if something was going to explode inside. you meet every movement of his tongue. The taste of you is addictive

jay doesn't want to stop. he wants to eat you all day, non-stop

"Uhhhh... Uhm. Ahh, I'm about to cum" he buried his head into your womanhood. immediately sucked your p'ssy at the same time as your juice came out. "Oh god! heaven"

The shock on his face was obvious as he stood up he grabbed his manhood

"suck it," he said

"Gladly." you took his length inside your warm mouth

he moaned loudly as he thrust his manhood into your hot mouth. Then, as if teasing, you slowly took his length out in your mouth.

"Ohh! Fuck!"

you twirled your tongue around his stiff cock as you sucked it again

"Uhm." he groaned when you sucked his balls in your mouth. "Ohh, holy sweet hell! Ahh! Ahh! Suck my cock more"

It's like he's going crazy because he feels so good because of what you're doing. he was clinging to the bed sheet while one of his hands was tightly clinging to your hair

you feel that jay is close because his hips are moving that's why he quickly stopped what he was doing

"oh fuck, w-why did you stop"

you didn't answer. Instead, you quickly sat on his lap. you touched his c'ck and slowly guided it inside your core

his grunts mingled as you began to move you pumped in and out. slowly at first then your pace became fast. Hard. Fast. Rough. you could hear the sound of private parts lapping at each other which adds to the warmth you both feel

your movement is getting faster and faster. With each stroke, his length was full and he almost lost his breath from the sensation he was feeling

"Ohh! jay! I'm coming!"

He held both of your waists and guided her to speed up each in and out

"Ahh! Ahh! Ohh! I'm cumming" Loud moans and groans filled the room

and when you cum, jay came after you

still slowly trusting and moaning until he feels emptied inside you.

———

He is comfortably sleeping next to you when you wake up, hugging you

you gradually free yourself from his grip

you collected your clothes and put them on.

Before leaving his condo, you give him a forehead kiss.

[nikibogwater]

I watched The Last Unicorn (1982) with very, very little prior knowledge of the film. And I wasn't planning to, but I ended up taking notes because wow. This movie. It's something.

The very little prior knowledge I had was as follows: it's an old animated film about a unicorn and I've occasionally heard people talk about it fondly. That's it, that's literally all I had going into this thing. It was not nearly enough to prepare me.

Ohhhh I love the scenery! Man, nothing hits quite like a traditional hand-drawn backgrou--OH MY WORD WHAT IS THAT WHY IS IT MOVING LIKE THAT STOP IT

Ohhh, this is a Rankin-Bass production? Well, that explains the animation.

Yeah that is not a unicorn, that's a llama with a table-knife glued to its head.

Ooh, the opening credits play over a lightly animated medieval tapestry! That's so coo--aaaaand they picked the most 80's sounding song I can imagine to go over it, okay.

Yo this butterfly is stoned out of his little buggy mind, maybe he should get some rehab.

Love that it's not immediately clear what the "red bull" actually is yet. Is it a literal bull? Is it a raging fire? Is it the inescapable march of industrial progress?? Gotta stay tuned to find out. (edit: it was literally just a bull and I need to stop reading symbolism into every little thing).

Ok ngl, the "Man's Road" sequence was actually fire, despite (or perhaps because of) the 80's cheese.

Angela Lansbury!!! Man, she just ate this role. Who'd've thought Mrs. Pots could sound so threatening?

I would die for Shmendrick.

Oh that is a very lore-accurate harpy right there. (⊙_⊙;)

Love how the witch's carnival arc touches on the idea of truth vs. wishful delusion. There's a beautiful irony in a movie about a literal unicorn talking about the importance of staying grounded in what is real and truly beautiful.

No, seriously, I would die for Shmendrick. Protect this precious man at all costs.

Can we pretty please stop calling the witch Mommy

"That's my immortality!" eyo this witch is actually a great villain. Really wish she could've stuck around for the whole movie.

Awww, the unicorn is taking care of Shmendrick! That's so sweet! God knows he needs it.

Shmendrick: Run! We'll find each other later! *immediately gets captured*

Have I mentioned that I would die for Shmendrick.

I feel like the entire bit with the outlaws had a lot of connecting shots cut out for time because I really couldn't follow any of what was happening.

Hehehe...That tree looks like a butt. I wonder if they did that on purpo--WHAT THE HELL

*nervously glancing over my shoulder to make sure my family doesn't see me watching this*

Unicorn to the rescue!! Thank heavens.

"That was true magic." Then please don't ever do true magic again.

"How dare you come to me now, when I am this?!" H-hey, nobody told me this movie was gonna go that hard...

Mom-friend acquired! Just in time, too. Unicorn looked like she was getting real tired of being the only one with two brain cells to rub together.

Our heroes: *bracing themselves for what may be the darkest, most dangerous part of their journey* Freakin' Gerry Beckley from "America:" 🎵MOON RISIN'! DISGUISIN'!! 🎵 Gotta love that tonal dissonance.

Oooh hey the animation on the Red Bull is actually kind of good!

Molly: DO SOME MAGIC! Shmendrick: I CAN'T! Molly: YES U CAN I BELIEVE IN U Shmendrick: *does some magic* Molly: NOOOOO WHAT HAVE U DONE Molly I love you, but make up your darn mind.

Love that being turned into a human being is like, the worst thing that could ever happen to the unicorn. Yeah, being human is a pretty awful experience.

Boy there is just empty static behind Prince Lir's eyes. Homeboy doesn't have a thought in his head and probably never will.

Lir: babe look I got u a severed dragon head pls love me

Oh yeah. Marry this one, Unicorn. He's a keeper.

Molly: Shmendrick will help! Unicorn: I hope for no help from him. He is no magician now, but the king's clown.

GURL SAY THAT AGAIN! U KEEP DISRESPECTING MY BOI SHMENDRICK AND U WILL GET THESE HANDS!

The pirate cat is now my second-favorite character. I've known him for all of 10 seconds, but I love him.

He doesn't actually purr. He just says, "Purr, purr." I love him even more now.

"No cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer." Most accurate line ever put to film.

Unicorn, please marry Prince Lir, you well never find a purer source of Himbo Energy than him. Look at him, he's even singing badly for you, you gotta take this one.

"I mean you can't really be that ridiculous magician's niece--" BETRAYAL. OUTRAGE. SCANDAL. I DISOWN YOU, LIR, YOU FOUL SERPENT WHO SPEAKS NOTHING BUT FILTH. I HOPE THE UNICORN BREAKS YOUR STUPID LITTLE HEART

Dang. This guy voicing the skeleton is putting his entire heart and soul into that laugh.

Prince "I love whom I love" Lir will not be stopped even by the threat of potential bestiality. I'd say Husband Goals, but first of all, ew, and second, he insulted Shmendrick so he is dead to me.

"I wish to God I didn't care about anything but my magic, but I do!" Oh Shmendrick, honey... 🥺

Yooo, that transformation back into her unicorn form was actually sick. For a Rankin-Bass made-for-tv movie, this thing pulls off some surprisingly good animation every once in a while.

Yeah, kick his magical red butt, little unicorn! Go save your boyfriend and your family!!!

What is it with Christopher Lee and playing creepy old guys who get thrown off of towers at the end

Wait, no, I only sort of meant it when I said the unicorn should break Lir's heart, I didn't think they'd actually do it!

Molly ditched her outlaw husband to travel the world with Shmendrick and honestly, I'd do the same if I was in her place.

Oh wow. She chose to save her own kind and return to her forest even though she loved Lir. This is actually very bittersweet and--GOTDANGIT GERRY BECKLEY, NOT NOW!!!

Closing thoughts: This movie was an absolute trip and I'm probably going to think it was a fever dream I once had after some time has passed. It's also the only movie I can think of that I would actually want a remake/remaster of. The story was great, though it jumped around from place to place so quickly that it was sometimes hard to follow what was happening. I like the characters a lot (mostly Shmendrick tbh but they're all good), and I wish there had been more time to let them interact with each other. You can see the potential for chemistry between the different personalities, but it's stifled by moments of awkward voice acting and the strange, jittery character animation. With more time to breathe and better animation, this story would really be something amazing. I'm actually very interested in reading the original novel it was based on now, I'll have to see if I can get my hands on a copy. All in all, The Last Unicorn (1982) is a mind-boggling experience with surprisingly deep themes combined with what I can only assume is what you see when you're on acid. If you have any interest, I would highly recommend seeing this thing for yourself.

Yes. Even the Boob Tree. Please. I don't want to be the only one who is cursed to have that scene in my brain.

[tightjeansjavi]

Burning in a Hopeless Dream

Boston QZ: Part 12

“Hearts Don’t Break Around Here”

Joel Miller x f!o/c

A/N: this actually might have been my favorite chapter to write. It’s so beautiful ♡

Summary: just a group of friends/lovers pretending that the horrors that lay outside a white picket fence, no longer exist for a day. No apocalypse, no death, no carnage, no violence. Just good wine, full bellies, laughter and oh, love. Lots and lots of love.

~word count: 7k~

Warnings: implied age gap, established relationship, brief mentions of angst, swearing, soft! joel, he’s so sweet your teeth will hurt! joel, fluff, consumption of alcohol, nicknames, so much flirting, teasing, feelings, emotion, comforting themes, light smut, consent, consent, consent, cockwarming. (+18) minors dni!

Songs for this chapter:

“Hearts Don’t Break Around Here” by Ed Sheeran

“Second Chances” by Gregory Alan Isakov

“Kiss Me” by Ed Sheeran

“From Eden” by Hozier

“Like Real People Do” by Hozier

“The Last Waltz” by Engelbert Humperdinck

“Heaven” by Niall Horan

“Somethin’ Stupid” by Nancy & Frank Sinatra

“A Man Without Love” by Engelbert Humperdinck

June 2021 : Boston QZ

“Oh my god, she has fuckin turned you into a goddamn marshmallow!” Tess was in absolute disbelief when Joel Miller sat across from her, with chipped purple nail polish on his nails.

He let out a scoff while he tried to hide his small grin. Yeah, okay maybe you had turned this grumpy man into a marshmallow. Soft, fluffy, gooey. All the things that no one would ever believe Joel Miller could actually be. “It’s just a bit of nail polish, Tess. It ain’t that big of a deal.”

The two friends sat across from each other in the community square. It was blazing out. The sun was beating down on them unforgivingly. They each had a cup of homemade hooch in front of them. Joel would have been back at the apartment with you but you had kicked him out. Not permanently, of course. Just for a few hours because as much as you loved having him there every waking moment of the day, you needed your space. Of course, your newfound lover fought you on it at first, until he reluctantly gave in. He supposed that a bit of space from each other wouldn’t do any harm.

Tess had grinned at him over the rim of her cup. It was pretty glaringly obvious that Joel had it bad for you. “Where is she anyway? I Expected you two to be tied at the hip, if you weren’t already.”

“She kicked me out.” He took a sip then before adding, “Not permanently. Think i’ve been suffocating her a bit. She wanted some space to herself. Can’t really blame her, but you know how I am.”

“You’re as stubborn as a mule Joel.”

“You’re right. Ain’t nothin gonna change that either.” He looked around for a moment and felt the sweat dripping down the back of his neck from the blazing sun. “So, what’re you doin out here Tess? You got a hot date you’re waitin for or somethin?”

When she didn’t immediately respond, he raised his brow in her direction. He could see her cheeks heating up and it sure as hell wasn’t from the sun. “Oh my god, was I right on the money with that? No fuckin way. Who is it? You gotta tell me now c’mon.” He was intrigued, and unashamedly excited for her. Tess deserved happiness just as much as he did. Although, he was still getting used to it. Feeling for someone again. Opening his heart up, piece by piece. It wasn’t easy by any means, but he’d do it a 1000 times over for you.

“Yeah, okay. I am waitin for a hot date, but before you say anything–” She had paused when she saw Beatrix approaching and Joel had turned his head to see where she was looking. Using his hand to shield his face from the sun and when he spotted Beatrix. He couldn’t help but slowly look over at Tess, a grin tugging on his lips. “Ohhh. I see now. You and Beatrix, huh? When did that happen?”

“Been happening for a while now, Miller.” Beatrix responded to his question as she stood alongside the makeshift table and looked over her girlfriend, shooting her a little wink.

“Beatrix.” He nodded and gestured to the empty seat. “Makes sense. Considerin Tess has been pretty much absent from the apartment. Y’know it’s uh–it’s nice that y’all have each other I mean–” He rubbed the back of his neck slightly.

Beatrix let out a light laugh and nudged her girl then. “Man, you weren’t kiddin when you said he’s gone completely soft. You alright there Joel? Is the sun starting to get to ya?”

He grumbled under his breath and crossed his arms over his chest. “I ain’t goin soft. Just think it’s nice y’all are happy.”

“He let her paint his nails, Bea. The man has it down bad.”

“y’know that is actually pretty fuckin sweet. You’re a lucky man, Miller.”

“Oh, you’ve got no idea.” He wanted to say more. It was on the tip of his tongue. All the ways you had made him feel. In a way, it infuriated him because this was never supposed to happen. You had shown up and wrecked all his plans, if he would even call them that. You and your smile, your ferocity, your wit. Hell, he could easily compile a list of all of your attributes. It would end up being a mile long, but he could do it. Yeah, he had it pretty bad.

The three fall into a comfortable chatter. As if they are long-time friends, meeting at the bar for a casual drink. Catching up on one another’s lives. Who’s married, how many kids do you have now? Do you still hate your job? Did you ever find love? Are you happy? Except, there is no bar. There’s the Boston Quarantine Zone, crumbling more and more each day. Crawling with FEDRA, Fireflies, infected, raiders, and cowardly men like Robert.

It’s easy to forget the hardship, violence, and death taking place just outside your window when you’ve found yourself in love. Finding one person who makes it all worth living again. Joel Miller was unashamedly in love. There was no hiding it. It was written across his weathered face, burnished between his two thick brows; melded thoughtfully through the ridges on his forehead. His hardness towards the world was slowly melting away, dripping in a puddle beside his worn boots. You made Joel Miller want to live again.

“Oh, before I forget, Frank radioed in this mornin. Said somethin about a summer solstice get-together? Guess he’s the only one makin an effort to keep track of dates and the seasons. Anyway, figured you wanna go Tess. Oh, and Beatrix. You should come along as well. If you’re lookin for a taste of hospitality.” He had lightly nudged Tess’s boot with his own and shot her a little grin.

“Summer solstice get-together? Yeah, that’s got Frank written all over it.” She looked over at Beatrix and nodded. “Yeah Bea, you should come with us. Only if you want to, that is.”

“Well, I gotta come now cause I'm pretty intrigued to see what exactly a summer solstice get-together really is. I’m all in, babe.”

Joel thought Tess and Beatrix looked good together. Genuinely he was happy for her. For them. They complimented each other nicely and it warmed his heart to see Tess smile again. A real smile, one that finally reached her eyes. He also knew that you would be over the moon that Tess had found someone. You and Tess had learned to put your differences aside. It was a phenomenon to see just how things really changed from the cold, rainy day you met Joel and Tess, 4 years ago.

The last thing you had ever expected to happen was falling for Joel Miller. The slow burn of your feelings intertwined. The intensity, confusion, resentment, forgiveness. It all went by in a blur. The record skipped, screeched, halted. The vinyl of your hearts were torn, and sewn back together. You nurtured one another through it all. You both were rough around the edges, sharp to the touch, walls miles high, impassable. You tore one another’s defenses down till it was just you two, standing in front of a mirror, looking in on yourselves. It was as clear as day that you and Joel were made for eachother, in more ways than one. Whatever soulmates were made up of, whatever the fairytales, and romance novels called falling in love, didn’t compare to how you and Joel felt for eachother. Your connection, devotion, sacrifice for one another was on a completely different plane. Love didn’t even begin to scratch the surface.

The three friends finished what was left of their drinks as the sun sky began to shift. Curfew was approaching. The different pink and orange hues were stunning against the sullen backdrop of the QZ. Joel couldn’t help but embrace Tess then. Giving her a firm hug. Much to his own surprise, he had hugged Beatrix as well. Looking over her shoulder when he caught two QZ residents giving an obvious dirty look to Tess holding Bea’s hand loosely. Joel didn’t even hesitate to stare them down. If anyone were to ever dare fuck with his friends? Well, you could imagine just what he would do.

“We’re leavin first thing in the mornin. Before the sun is up. Hope you’re not as cranky about it as I know Gwen will be.” He gave them both a slight nod before he turned on his heel, leaving the small community center and headed home, to you.

____________

The early morning hours ascended far too soon in your opinion. Despite your grumbled protests of, “five more minutes, please baby just five more.” Joel had ignored them and coaxed you awake with peppered kisses on your face and soft touches. When you didn’t immediately budge, he started tickling your sides and nearly avoided a kick to the balls when you sat up in annoyance. “Mother fucker, you really couldn’t give me 5 more damn minutes?”

“I’m sorry honey, but we gotta get dressed and go. You know I’d love to give ya 5 more minutes but I can’t. Besides, don’t you wanna see Frank? C’mon, sugar. I got coffee waitin for ya too.”

You let out a huff as he grabbed your face in his calloused palms gently. He greeted you with a soft, warm kiss and you playfully swatted at him. “Yeah yeah okay fine I’m up. What was that about coffee?”

He let out a deep chuckle when you had swatted him away and in return, he threw you one of his flannels to throw on. “That’s my pretty girl.”

“Shuddup. It’s too early for flirting.”

“Never too early. I’ll be in the kitchen waitin for ya.”

He left your shared room quietly, waiting for you in the kitchen, loading his and your gun. Once your bags were packed, and you had the steaming thermos of coffee in your grasp, you and Joel headed out.

His natural protective nature washed over him as you made your way through the alleys, and dark corners before reaching the exit point of the QZ where Bea and Tess were waiting. The hike to Bill and Franks was just as you remembered. Surrounded by lush forest while the four of you walked. Joel was leading the way of course, with you tagging by his side. Your fingers brushed against one another a few strides before he grasped your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. You were fucking holding hands and it absolutely warmed your soul. He only let go a few times to readjust his rifle over his shoulder, or if he heard something. Other than that, his palm was constantly on yours.

You arrived just outside Bill and Franks compound by late afternoon. This time, your company was expected, and before Joel even had the chance to punch the code into the metal gate, it was opening.

When you saw Frank up ahead, racing out of the house, you let go of Joel’s hand before running towards your friend that you hadn’t seen in so long. You yelled his name with pure joy radiating from your soul and when you finally met, Frank had scooped you up into his arms and spun you around.

Joel couldn’t help but smile at the exchange. You and Frank truly adored each other.

“Little Bird!” Frank exclaimed as he spun you around, hugging you tightly before he gently set you down on the ground.

“Frank! I’ve missed you!” You giggled softly when he had spun you around.

“Pssh? Me? You missed me? I was absolutely devastated when Joel told me you got sick!” He gently released you from his grasp, only to bring his arm around your shoulders as you started heading towards the house.

“I know, Joel told me, and I’m forever grateful for the medicine and tea.” You wrapped your arm around his middle then as you walked, the smile etched on your features was surely going to be permanent by the end of the day.

Joel, Tess, and Bea followed closely behind as the metal gate clinked shut behind them.

Bill was at the top of the stairs on the porch. Apron on as he was already cooking. He wasn’t a huge fan of you, not that you took it personally because he wasn’t a huge fan of anyone, except for his lover of course.

“Glad to see that you aren’t dead.” He spoke gruffly, arms across his chest.

In mock shock, you brought your hand against your chest and laughed. “No way man, you’re glad to see that I’m not dead? I can’t believe this. I’m going to have to document this exact moment!” You jokingly said.

Bill couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Yeah, I sure as hell am happy you ain’t dead cause otherwise that one? He pointed to Joel. Would be 10x more insufferable than he already is.”

You leaned in with a small grin on your face and whispered, “yeah he’s pretty awful. No idea how I actually put up with him.”

You could feel Joel’s hand wrapping around your waist then pulling you back slightly. “I’m pretty awful? Hmmm…we’ll see about that honey.” He whispered.

You and Joel were the first to enter the familiar home. Making your way to one of the guests rooms for the night and as you set your bag down, pulling out your pistol and knife, setting them down on the nightstand.

Joel was grabbing you then, grasping your hips as he pulled you flush against his chest. His hand that wasn’t holding you firmly came up to your face, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “What was that about me bein pretty awful? I heard that correctly, didn’t I?” His tone was low, teasing.

You immediately brought your arms around his neck and threaded your fingers through his soft curls. “That was nothing, honey. I was just joking. You’re far from awful.”

Before he could steal a kiss, you were slipping out of his grasp like the little tease you were. You had a smirk spread across your lips as you leaned against the doorway. “C’mon, we’re not gonna spend all day up here okay? We’ll have all night for that Joel.” You shot him a wink before slipping past the door and headed back downstairs.

“Minx.” He muttered under his breath before he set down his rifle against his bag and pulled his own pistol out of his pocket and set it down next to yours. “Damn little tease.”

You had planned to take full advantage of the lasting sunlight. Bill and Franks home was surrounded by wildflowers and tall grasses. So that’s where Joel knew he could find you. Boy, were you a sight for sore eyes when he found you. Your back was splayed in the tall grass with your arms crossed behind your head and your eyes shut, blissfully. The sun was warm and inviting up until a shadow was casted over it. Now who the hell—Joel, of course.

You brought your hand up against your face as your eyes opened, shielding them from the sun as you looked up at your lover's tall frame.

“Comfortable?” He mused.

“Yeah, but can you maybe move like..I don’t know, a good inch to the left? You’re blocking my sun, cowboy.”

He chuckled and brought his arms across his chest. “Oh, I’m so sorry sugar. Did you want me to move?”

“You’re such an asshole.” You said with a light laugh as you reached your hand up to him and as soon as he grasped it, you were using all your strength to pull him down next to you.

He let out a grumble out of protest before he let you pull him down into the thick grass with a soft thud. “Was that really necessary?” He let out a grunt as he propped himself up on his elbow, looking over at you.

“It was because you were in the way of MY sun so I had to take matters into my own hands, lover.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes as he plucked a strand of the tall grass and twirled it between his fingers. You couldn’t help but lean over, grasping his jaw in your hand, and kiss him sweetly. He wasted no time grab ahold of your hips while he maneuvered himself onto his back, coaxing you into his lap so you were straddling him.

“Joel..” you warned. Kissing him deeper because you simply couldn’t help it. His kisses were addictive.

He hummed in response bringing his hand up to the back of your head and threaded his fingers through your hair gently. “What is it honey? Just tryin to get myself comfortable.” he mumbled into your lips.

“Slick mother fucker.” You pulled back from the kiss and looked down at his smug expression while he brought his arms behind his head then. His eyebrow tilted up towards you in a suggestive manner.

“enjoyin the view?” He rasped. You looked so pretty in the sunlight.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” You reached out and lightly booped his nose before climbing off of his hips.

“You really gonna tease me all day like this? What, you tryin to drive me mad? Up a wall? Cause, it’s workin.”

You looked back at him with a small grin, shaking your head. “No, of course not. That would just be pretty awfully mean of me.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before he slowly sat up scooting over so he was close to you once more. “Can I sit out here and hold ya at least? Promise I won’t try anything funny.”

“Joel, of course you can honey, you don’t have to ask for that. It’s yours.” You watched as a grin tugged on his lips as he reached for your waist and gently pulled you back against his chest. Letting you get comfortable between his thighs.

Once you were settled, he pressed a kiss to the side of your head while his elbows rested back against the soft earth beneath his palms. He watched you curiously as you began to pluck some of the surrounding wildflowers. All different kinds. He watched as your delicate fingers weaved together the stems and he swore, he caught you humming.

While you were crafting together your flower crown, Joel couldn’t help but lean his head back slightly, his eyes closed, a relaxed expression on his face as the sun warmed his skin. He was at peace, being here with you. He must have dozed off for a few minutes because he didn’t feel your soft grasp on his bicep right away.

“Joel, honey?..” you spoke softly through the warm breeze.

“Hmm?” He mumbled softly, blinking a few times as he tilted his head forward once more and looked at the wildflower crown between your fingers. “Oh, that’s beautiful sugar. You want me to put it on you?”

You turned your head slightly so you could look at him. “I was gonna ask if I could put it on you.”

“Oh? No baby, it’ll look beautiful on you. It’ll look silly on me.”

“No it won’t, Joel. You’ll look handsome, I promise.”

How could he really say no to you? Especially when you looked so carefree, so happy. It was just a little flower crown after all. Maybe he wouldn’t end up looking silly.

“Oh, alright. Go ahead. Lay it on me” he watched as you gently lowered the flower crown on top of his soft curls. Your smile was so soft, so beautiful.

“So, how do I look? Still ruggedly handsome?”

You shook your head, brushing your fingers against his jaw gently. “No, you look beautiful Joel.”

__________

Unbeknownst to either of you, Frank had seen the moment between you two from the open kitchen window. He, of course, already had his vintage Polaroid camera at the ready as he snapped a picture. He knew you would want to always have this memory for safe keeping.

He looked over at Tess and Bea who were helping Bill prep the vegetables. “So, when did this all happen? I always had this feeling that they liked each other. I just never thought it would actually happen.”

Tess set down her knife and wiped her hands on one of the nearby towels. “She almost died this Spring. The three of us were gonna leave the QZ permanently with some other smugglers. We were set up. Robert caught wind of us and sent some of his men. Gwen shot first. I watched her go down. Saw the knife sticking out of her gut and Joel? I’ll never forget the screams he let out.”

Frank's face fell as Tess told him what had happened to you. He was in disbelief.

“She nearly bled out on our kitchen table. I had to keep him calm. There was this moment where I knew he thought he was going to lose her. She was fading and then he just grabbed her face, Frank. He’s got tears streaming down his face and he kisses her. He kissed her because he thought he’d never get the chance to do it again.”

Tess nearly had tears in her eyes from that traumatic night and when she felt Bea grasp her hand gently and give it a squeeze, she took a deep breath.

“He stitched her up, and laid with her on the couch. He literally wouldn’t leave her side. He slept on the floor next to her till she woke up. He was just so—I don’t even know how to explain it. I’ve never seen him get so distraught. I let him go that night, and it probably was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. They’re meant for eachother. I’ve never seen him so fuckin happy. I’m happy for him. I’m happy that someone broke through to him. I’ll always care about him, nothing will ever change that. She’s his person, and he’s hers.”

Frank was already grabbing a bottle of wine. He had his own tears brewing because how fucking beautiful was it to hear that two people, who despised eachother from the beginning, had found eachother. Fallen for one another, and held on tight.

“Jesus fucking Christ. I’m going to need a large glass of wine after that.” He was already unscrewing the bottle and poured himself and Tess and Bea a glass. “You found someone too. You moved on, right?” He gestured to Bea by her side.

Tess took the glass with zero hesitation and took a big sip. “Bea is quite literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like I’ve gotten a new chance. A fresh start.” She looked over at her lover, who was in disbelief and when Tess saw her tears welling, she reached over and gently wiped them away with her thumb.

“You really..you really feel about me that way?”

“Course I do.”

Frank was already raising his glass in a toast and had to gently kick Bill to grab his own glass, with a disapproving grumble.

“Here’s to good wine, full bellies, laughter with friends and of course, love. Lots and lots of love.”

Tess, Bea, Frank and Bill all clinked their glasses together.

What a sight they all were to the outside world beyond the white picket fence.

________

You and Joel were in your own little world as held you against his chest, he was still wearing the flower crown you crafted him and you were both looking up at the passing clouds, in a comfortable silence. You could hear the birds chirp, the soft breeze through the grass and the humming of buzzards.

A purple butterfly, with delicate papery wings flew above you and landed right on Joel’s nose but before he could shoo it away, you had gently grabbed his wrist then and whispered, “No, don’t. You’ll scare it baby.”

He looked afraid to move then. Staying absolutely still as you gently released your grip on his wrist. The butterfly slowly flapped its wings, revealing the different purple hues, some dark, some light. It flew from its perch on his nose, fluttering for a moment before it landed on the outside of his hand.

“Think it likes you, honey.”

Joel furrowed his brows slightly as he looked down at the delicate insect resting along his hand. Suddenly, the realization hit him. The color purple. Purple nail polish, a purple butterfly.

“Sarah.” He spoke above a whisper.

“Hi baby girl.”

You both watched as the butterfly flapped its wings once more before it flew off his hand, fluttering away.

You saw the tears well in his eyes before he even could feel them and you immediately pulled him into your arms, bringing his head against your chest while his arms draped around your middle, holding you close to him.

Neither of you spoke in those moments. You simply just held each other.

You were both torn away from your thoughts when the back door leading out to the porch opened and Frank stuck his head out and yelled. “Dinner is ready love birds! Hurry up before it gets cold!”

“I’m okay, sugar. C’mon. Let’s go and..what’s that word you like usin? Immerse ourselves with our friends.” He gave your waist a light squeeze, reassuring you that he was okay.

You answered him by gently grabbing his face in your hands, stroking his cheekbones with your thumbs, giving him a sweet, loving kiss.

His eyes fluttered shut when your lips met his and he kissed you back, holding you there for a moment before he slowly pulled away and stood to his feet, offering you his hand as he helped you up.

The six of you were comfortably sitting together. Frank spared no expense to the details of the table spread. He had brought out the finest china just for this occasion. It was, after all, the longest day of the year. What better way to celebrate, than with friends? Before you dug into your meals, Frank poured everyone a tall glass of wine and everyone toasted to love, longevity, and good times. Joel was looking right at you, a small grin on his face as he raised his glass in your direction. The only sounds that could be heard was silver lightly clinking on china. The occasional song-bird, or two. You all were enjoying the delicious food that Bill had prepared and by the end of the meal, your bellies were full.

The air was warm, peaceful and for a moment, it was all too easy for you to forget about the cordyceps, the end of the world, the loss you had endured. It was so easy when you were surrounded by friends, and your lover, who couldn’t take his eyes off of you. As more wine was poured, the laughter ensued as old stories of the past flowed past your soft lips with ease. Tess agreed that the Chicago Bean, was pretty fucking cool.

You felt so fucking loved. You could barely contain it.

When the plates were cleared, you all headed inside to help with the dishes and of course, crack open another bottle of wine. By the time that Bill had started a fire in the living room, you could already feel your cheeks getting flushed. A warm, fuzzy feeling washing over you.

Joel was at your side then, his arm lazily draped around your hip as you rested your head against his shoulder. He brought the rim of his own wine glass up to his lips and took a sip, a smile creeping over the delicate china.

Frank was already flipping through his many record albums while everyone else was getting comfortable on the two couches. He had decided on ‘A Man Without Love’ by Engelbert Humperdinck. You learned very quickly that Joel Miller was not a singer. Even a few glasses in, drunk on your love, he would not sing. Frank had pulled you up from the couch and twirled you around playfully while you both belted out the lyrics, “Every day I wake up, then I start to break up, lonely is a man without love. Every day I start out, then I cry my heart out, lonely is man without looooove!” You didn’t particularly have a grammy winning voice either but hell, you were having fun! Joel was enamored while he watched you over the rim of his glass. He loved to see you in these moments. When you let your hair down, you belly laughed, giggled and god, did you smile.

More wine was poured, more songs were played and as the sun began to set, the fire lowly crackled in the background, it was just you and Joel now. Frank had taken Tess and Bea out to the greenhouse to show the wonderful progress his plants had made. You were knackered from the singing and dancing as you plopped down next to your lover with a light giggle.

“You’re drunk, honey.” he looked over at you with a small grin.

“No, I'm happy Joel. I’m so fuckin happy. Okay, and a little drunk too. Just like a tad though.”

He leaned in, his face close to yours. “M’happy that you’re happy ‘darlin. You look beautiful. I love it when you smile. Warms me right up.” He whispered, reaching out and gently cupping your face in his warm palm.

“You’re happy too..right?”

“ m’so happy baby. You have no idea.” He admitted. This was only for you to hear. He was secretly thankful that your friends weren’t in the room. He wanted this moment to only be shared between you two.

“Good. I’m glad honey, you deserve it.”

Before he could answer, the record crackled, transitioning slowly to ‘The Last Waltz’

He surprised you then, reaching for your hand before he helped you up from the couch gently.

“Dance with me?”

“I never thought you’d ask, cowboy.” You took his hand then as he helped you up. You were a little unsteady on your feet, while his free hand was gently splayed across your lower back as he pulled you into chest, holding you as close as he physically could. Your hearts were practically intertwined as he slowly started to sway with you. Your fingers were interlocked between his other hand while you brought your freehand to his shoulder, playing with the worn fabric of his flannel gently. He dipped his head down slightly, his forehead resting against yours. His warm brown eyes, locked on yours. You continued to slowly sway, taking in this private moment as he whispered the lyrics lowly between you. His voice was warm, inviting, deep, and it settled within your bones. “I had the last waltz with you. Two lonely people together. I fell in love with you..the last waltz should last forever..”

He kissed you then. Closing the small gap between you finally. Neither of you pulled away as the record crackled, the song coming to an impending end. You continued to kiss him, tasting the sweet wine on his tongue. His breath hitching, his fingers tightening along the exposed sliver of skin of your lower back. You breathed him in, letting his kiss settle deep within your soul.

The moment had ended when you both heard someone clearing their throat. Joel had let out an annoyed grumble as he tore his lips from yours, looking over your shoulder at a smirking Frank, who was holding the game ‘Monopoly’

“Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds. Are you up for a friendly game of monopoly?”

Joel had opened his mouth to speak but before he could, you brought your finger against his lips and looked back at Frank with a sweet smile. “We would absolutely love to play.”

“Who is we–” you shot your lover a playful warning look and he returned it with a slight roll of his eyes.

“Yeah, sure we’d love to play.” He grumbled.

“Excellent!”

You slipped out of your lover's grasp, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before you grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the living room and into the kitchen.

You found out shortly after the game began, that Bill was an absolute sore loser. He was the first to be out of the game. He cursed out, throwing what was left of his money before he grabbed his gun, heading for the kitchen as he mumbled about how stupid this game really was. “Who the hell thought of inventing this stupid game? I hope they’re rolling in their grave right fuckin now!”

Everyone was trying to hide their laughter then. It was hard with the amount of wine that had been consumed already. As the game continued, Bill had returned shortly after his loss, with a fresh bottle of wine as he topped off his glass and plopped back down into his seat next to Frank. He had a grumpy look on his face, with his arms crossed against his chest. When Frank leaned over and gave him a little kiss on the cheek, his face softened for a moment.

The game continued on for hours. Frank was the next to lose. Joel had secretly slipped you a few of his extra bills under the table, shooting you a little wink as he leaned over and whispered “you’ll find a way to pay me back, sugar.” Which had you lightly swatting his arm for being the flirt that he was, but you loved it. You loved seeing Joel with his guard down, and enjoying the small joys that life had to offer. He looked so beautiful.

Bea and then Tess were the next to lose and soon it was just you and Joel, head to head. Battling to the death. Well, until one of you decides to give in. Your friends had all gone to bed a while ago. The candles on the dining room table were almost melted down completely. You weren’t even sure how much wine you had actually consumed, but by the looks of the empty bottles, you knew you had quite a lot to drink.

“Joel, baby. C’mon can you please surrender. It’s okay, you can admit that you lost like a big man.” You giggled. Your palm was resting along your chin as you looked at him, a drunk sleepy look gracing your features.

“C’mon, honey. We can finish this out. Don’t you wanna win fair and square?” He still had a half glass of wine in front of him and he couldn’t help but reach over and gently brush his thumb against your plush lower lip.

“Joel, I’m tired. Please? Let me win this my way.”

“The dirty way?”

“Nooo. The you’re gonna let me win because otherwise this game will never end, way. I think I will actually lose my mind more than I ever have if we have to keep playing.”

He leaned back against his chair, a smirk playing on his lips. “So, then go on and admit your defeat. Sooner you do, sooner we get to go to bed.”

“Who said anythin about me admitting MY defeat?”

He chuckled and reached for his wine glass, downing the rest of its contents before he set it back down. “You heard me.”

“You’re such an asshole man. Fine, I admit my defeat. If I weren’t so many glasses, excuse me, bottles in, then I would have won. I’m sure of it.”

“Mhm. You keep tellin yourself that ‘darlin.” He blew out what was left of the candles then before he pushed his chair back and slowly stood up.

“I’ll get you back for this Miller. Just you wait and see.” Your chair scraped quietly against the hardwood as you rose from your seat.

“Oh, I have no doubt in my mind that you will honey.”

You let Joel deal with the empty glasses and bottles on the table while you packed up the game, placing the board and all the pieces back into the box.

He let you go in front of him up the stairs. His hand was at your lower back, making sure you wouldn’t fall back when you nearly tripped up one of the steps with a quiet giggle.

Yeah, you were pretty drunk.

Once you were in your shared room for the night and the door softly closed, your arms were around his neck, your fingers playing with the soft strands of hair at the nape of his neck. “Baby..I’m really really drunk right now. Damn Frank and his wine but..I want you. Do you think we can?..” you whispered with a hiccup closely following.

“Honey..” he drawled, bringing his arms around you gently as he pulled you in close.

“We can’t. You’re drunk and I’ve had a bit as well. Plus, we don’t wanna wake anyone up..”

“We can be quiet.”

He gave you a look then. You and Joel did not know the definition of having a quiet fuck. It was pretty much impossible.

“Sugar, you know we can’t be quiet. Even though I wanna fuck you so bad right now honey, so fuckin bad. I gotta put my foot down, m’sorry.”

“Okay, fine. So we can’t fuck. How about..” you trailed off while your fingers slipped from his hair to his face, brushing your fingers against his strong jaw. “what if you were wrapped up in me, all night?..”

He raised his brow at your suggestion and his mouth went a little dry when he realized just exactly what your suggestion entailed.

“You want me to fall asleep, inside of you?”

“Please.” you begged. You were itching to feel him again. All of him.

“Fuck.” He whispered out. The wine was making his mind hazy and your words had him spinning.

“Please, Joel. I understand if you don’t wanna—”

“Shh. Of course I do. Fuck, of course I wanna bury myself inside of ya all goddamn night honey. You’re absolutely sure that’s what you want?”

“Yes. That’s what I really want right now Joel.”

He scooped you up into his arms in response. He carried you to the side of the bed and gently set you down before he reached for the hem of your shirt and gently started to lift it up.

“You wanna wear one of mine?” He already knew the answer.

“Always.”

He slowly lifted your shirt above your head before he reached down into his backpack that was alongside the bed and pulled out one of his spare shirts, slipping it down over your arms. Next, he gently shimmied your pants down your legs, leaning down and pressing a light kiss to your exposed hip bone.

“Can I take these off, sweetness? Or do you wanna keep ‘em on for now?” he rasped out.

“You can take them off baby, it’s fine.”

He slipped his thumb on either side of your panties before he slowly dragged the fabric over your hips, thighs and down your legs and ankles. He pressed another light kiss to your skin. This time it was your thigh.

You had reached for his flannel then and gently pushed it down his arms, tossing it to the side with your discarded clothes. He used his one hand to pull his shirt over his head, shaking his hair out a bit. Soon after, his jeans and boxers were discarded. You could feel the bed slowly dip from his weight as his arms reached around, settling comfortably around your waist as he pulled you flush against his chest.

His lips were at the shell of your ear, pressing a soft kiss just below as he whispered, “you let me know if you want me to slip out, okay? I don’t want ya to hesitate.”

You grabbed one of his hands then and brought it up to your lips, pressing a kiss to his palm before interlocking your fingers with his. “I know honey, I got you, you got me. It’s okay. Please, don’t make me beg you.”

“You got me, I got you.” He let out a puff of air against the back of your neck as he slipped his legs between yours. He let his free hand, that wasn’t grasped between your fingers, grab ahold of himself before he gently, and slowly slipped himself between your slick, warm folds.

It took every sheer ounce of willpower inside of him to not jut his hips into yours. He let out a low hiss, giving your hand a firm squeeze as he sank deeper, till he was at the hilt.

“This okay ‘darlin? Not uncomfortable or nothin?”

You felt so full at that moment. With him buried inside you like this. Holding you so close to his chest. It was perfect.

“This is perfect honey. Thank you. Are you good?” You had turned your head slightly to look over your shoulder at him.

“ m’good. This is nice. You feel amazin. So fuckin warm and tight—”

“Joel, baby. Please don’t start something that you know you can’t finish.”

He chuckled and let his head drop to the back of your neck, pressing another kiss there.

“Sorry, don’t wanna get carried away.”

“I know honey, this is torture, and at the same time, I’ve never been more content.”

“That’s one way to put it.” He chuckled.

He moved his hips just slightly as he got comfortable, sinking further into the soft mattress.

“I love you.” you whispered quietly. You were unsure if your confession was due to all the wine you consumed. Or if it was your sober thoughts, coming out in drunk words, or a mix of both.

“I love you, always.” He whispered back, tightening his hold around your waist, smiling against your soft skin when he felt your lips brush against his knuckles.

You and Joel slipped off into the dream world with ease. He stayed buried deep in your warmth, all night long. You never wanted him to leave. The closeness, intimacy, warmth you provided each-other so naturally. You wanted to keep him there forever.

How long could forever really last, when the dawn of a new day was always inevitable.

Chapter 13:

[catholic-character-tournament]

Round 3 - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Michael

Literally the whole movie series is framed around the sacraments. Weddings and first communions and baptisms.

I just thought of the Godfather bc of the tumblr ask about people who are devout in some ways but uhh not very holy in other ways, and nobody is a better example of that than Michael in the montage toward the end of the Godfather. I saw the film for the first time last year, and that sequence just floored me. Will not spoil it in case you haven't seen the film but ohhh my goodness

Ronan Lynch

Uhh fun fact he saw the devil flash his father once, and that's one of the reasons he goes to church on Sundays <3

context for this scene from book 2: ronan is in church with his older brother declan, younger brother matthew, and ghost friend noah "Joseph Kavinsky isn’t someone I want you being around,” Declan added. “Don’t snort. I’m serious.” Ronan merely invested a look with as much contempt as he could muster. A lady reached over the top of Noah to pat Matthew’s head fondly before continuing down the aisle. She didn’t seem to care that he was fifteen, which was all right, because he didn’t, either. Both Ronan and Declan observed this interaction with the pleased expressions of parents watching their prodigy at work. Declan repeated, “Like, actually dangerous.” Sometimes, Declan seemed to think that being a year older gave him special knowledge of the seedier side of Henrietta. What he meant was, did Ronan know that Kavinsky was a cokehead. In his ear, Noah whispered, “Is crack the same thing as speed?” Ronan didn’t answer. He didn’t think it was a very church-appropriate conversation. “I know you think you’re a punk,” Declan said. “But you aren’t nearly as bad ass as you think you are.” “Oh, go to hell,” Ronan snapped, just as the altar boys broached the rear doors. “Guys,” Matthew pleaded. “Be holy.”

Gay Catholic streetracing farmer. Consumed by catholic guilt NOT because of the gay thing but because he can Create things in a way he thinks should be only God's business. Will literally roll up to mass on sunday morning still drunk and bloody.

THIS GOTH KID IS LITERALLY GOD. This is a god trapped in the body of a Catholic teen and if he ever stopped feeling Catholic guilt he’d end the world!!. How is your confession every week that you creating a whole new being? Babygirl the God is coming from inside the house

eldritch entity from beyond the mortal plane wants to be a Real Human Boy, becomes a real (ish!) human (ish!) boy, goes to mass every sunday

Gay boy got his crush an apartment above his church so he could have his two favorite things in one place

gay. I'm not caught up the the series but I went through the tag when the latest book came out and I remember seeing a quote that said he worried if his boyfriend would make it to heaven when he dies because of his agnostic tendencies.

Kid is like a dream warlock who creates psychic horrors and never goes to confession because why would he? and he’s gay

There are no words

basically ronan's powers are inherited from his dead father niall and it means he can bring anything from a dream into real life. so he's got this whole crisis about whether he is a living piece of blasphemy because men are not meant to have the powers of gods or whether he literally is god. which is not acceptable to him for a number of reasons but mostly because he hates himself. his love interest's name is adam and adam lives in a small apartment above a church which the book says focuses the objects of his worship neatly into one building. I love them both dearly. also, this entire page makes me feel like I'm going insane. Ronan Lynch believed in heaven and hell. Once, he’d seen the devil. It had been a low, late morning at the Barns when the sun had burned off the mist and then burned off the chill and then burned the edges off the ground until everything shimmered with heat. It never got hot in those protected fields, but that morning, the air sweated with it. Ronan had never seen cattle pant before. All of the cows heaved and stuck their tongues out as they frothed with the heat. His mother sent Ronan to put them in the shade of the cattle barn. Ronan had gone to the searing metal gate, and as he did, he’d glimpsed his father, already in the barn. Four yards away from him had stood a red man. He was not truly red, but the burned orange of a fire ant. And he was not truly a man, because of the horns and the hooves. Ronan remembered the alienness of the creature, how real it had been. Every costume in the world had gotten it wrong; every drawing in every comic book. They’d all forgotten that the devil was an animal. Looking at the red man, Ronan had been struck by the intricacy of the body, how many miraculous pieces moved smoothly in harmony, no different than his own. Niall Lynch had had a gun in hand — the Lynches had an enormous number of guns of all sizes — and just as Ronan had opened the gate, his father had shot the thing about thirteen times in the head. With a shake of its horns, the unharmed devil had presented its genitalia to Niall Lynch before bounding off. It was an image that had yet to leave Ronan. And so Ronan became a reverse evangelist. The truth burst and grew inside him, and it was laid upon him to share it with no one. No one was meant to see hell before they get there. No one should have to live with the devil. So many homilies on faith were ruined once you no longer required it for belief.

[actual-changeling]

ohhh okay Idk how much meta you can get outta this...but I find the idea that Crowley has no idea what Aziraphale feels about him interesting. I actually think Crowley is FULLY aware of how Aziraphale feels, and that's part of why it all hurts so badly. Honestly my biggest reason for thinking this is s1 when Aziraphale is all "I don't even like you" and Crowley without hesitation responds "You dooooo" like he KNOWS, and similarly with the line of them both pretending to not be on their own side. He's aware of his feelings and he's aware of Aziraphale's feelings, and that's why everything sucks so damn much hahahha Aziraphale saying things like "we're not friends. I don't like you" etc etc doesn't bother him because he knows Aziraphale is lying, it's when Aziraphale STILL refuses to be "a team of two" and leave Heaven (as seen in the Bandstand break up and s2), that the hurt really starts to hit

On the flip side though...Idk if Aziraphale knows Crowley's feelings, I really don't. I think deep down he does, but he's so scared he forces himself to remain oblivious lol

Thank you for asks!! Definitely a good topic to think about, so let's dive right in.

I think Crowley and Aziraphale are both aware that they have 'feelings' for each other, although neither of them is capable of calling them what they are. They are, just as everything else in their relationship, vague and undefined under the excuse of 'plausible deniability'.

Aziraphale thinks that they cannot openly like each other and not even be friends because heaven is constantly watching them like perverts waiting for them to kiss and fuck. However, the emphasis is on thinks. None of this holds up if you look at the facts, which I will quickly do.

Throughout all the flashbacks, neither heaven or hell gave a single fuck about what they were doing as long as their jobs get somewhat done.

In 1941, the only reason why Furfur even has an interest in Aziraphale's and Crowley's relationship is to get a promotion - and fails. This is also HELL. No one in heaven cares.

Heaven and hell are not monitoring their relationship. They aren't. It's as simple as that. When Michael digs up proof in season one, it's the equivalent to trying to find a needle in a haystack because they have ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY in some sort of fucked up horror archive. Michael probably had to use some miracles to dig up three grainy ass pictures. They did not have them at the ready, they did not CARE, they weren't LOOKING.

Crowley knows that. Aziraphale knows that, too, but can't admit it to himself. So he uses it to "excuse" his shitty ass behaviour towards Crowley with 'heaven is watching not my fault'. Just that they're not. Yeah.

What heaven and hell care about are their impact on the earth's morality scale. If they tip it too far one way the person who's not supposed to be doing that gets punished. Other than that, there is no monitoring, they don't fucking CARE.

Aziraphale's constant and rather insulting rejections are because he is unwilling to confront his screwed up views of heaven. He'd have to confront all of his and all of their actions, and he is, and I am saying this with love for this character, a fucking coward who rather lies to the person he loves than risk making himself uncomfortable.

That's why they hurt Crowley so damn much. Aziraphale is lying because he is scared of accepting that the world is not black and white, meanwhile CROWLEY was forced to confront that fact rather quickly and got punished for it severely time and time and time again. Aziraphale does not understand that and doesn't want to understand that.

Additionally, with the way Aziraphale handles it, the impression Crowley gets (which like. whether A knows it or not is the truth) is that he is not good enough. He is an evil, bad, irredeemable demon that cannot be loved by someone holier than thou like Aziraphale. Aziraphale loves the angel he was and the angel he thinks Crowley could be again - but he doesn't love Crowley, fallen angel and former demon, who belongs to earth and earth alone. On top of that, the mere thought of loving someone like him has Aziraphale running away from him, insulting him, and a whole load of other shit.

The message is "you are unlovable, loving you, a demon, is so horrible that i would be punished for it, I will only love you once you're an angel again."

Crowley is trying to tell Aziraphale what his existence is like, all he gets is "you were an angel once" with this fucking face:

And then the whole speech afterwards. Aziraphale KNOWS what he is saying and how hurtful it is and then does it anyway.

And then he gets what he wanted, knows he's fucked up, but still doesn't care about Crowley.

He never apologizes for any of it, just sends him away again and again and again, expecting him to come back like a fucking boomerang. Aziraphale digs his own graves and those of other people, all the while proclaiming that heaven is holding a gun to his head, but he and everyone else know that there's no gun. He is doing it because he cannot confront his own trauma and the resulting maladaptive coping mechanisms - which is NEVER an excuse for hurting someone, especially not someone you claim to love.

[x-masc-reader-galore]

I’ve never really requested anything before and I don’t want to be doing this wrong but I would love if you wrote an Alastor x Fallen Angel reader? Reader being male or non binary is fine! Anyways the reader fell (or jumped) out of heaven and lands in a forest where Alastor gets his deer carcasses. He sees the reader and instantly becomes intrigued but doesn’t exactly walk up to them. He studies them for a while then finally decides to go up to them? The rest is practically up to you, both of them could instantly get along or take awhile to get along.

You don’t have to do this I just had an idea and wanted to share it and see it get written!

Ohhh this is a fun ask! I don’t want to rush things with Alastor, for I feel if he were to fall in love with someone, it would be a slow burn! This will just be the tip of the iceberg, but if a lot of you guys want more, I make a short series (probably 3-4 chapters) on ao3

Might be a bit ooc cause I can’t write alastor but I tried my earnest

——————————

You were falling. That was the first thing you noticed once you came back to your senses. Your wings were cut off and you were covered in Golden Light! How fun. (Not fun.)

He maneuvered your body and soon noticed Hell coming extremely close.

“WAIT WAIT WAI-“ You screamed as you soon fell into a tree, then a bush, and then you rolled out onto the ground. It was a miracle that you hadn’t died right then and there.

Now, you thought you were alone in these woods, but, that was a stupid thought. You had a feeling that you were being stared at. And you were right!

The Radio Demon, or better known as Alastor was in the distance, about to kill off some poor dear for his dinner before he noticed you. Alastor then saw you falling from the sky, which amused him.

He watched you from afar and saw you stand. He examined you closely but stayed away. He wanted to figure out what he was dealing with first. He noticed the glowing light on your body, especially how it was seeping from your back where your wings were ripped off.

“How… interesting.” He spoke lowly, getting a little closer to you.

You heaved and cracked your back, which was, a terrible mistake to say the least. “HOLY FUCK.” You screamed out in pain as your back ached in pain. You kinda just wanted to curl up in a fetal position and crumble away to ash. What left was there now? You were in hell. Kinda the end of road, isn’t it?

Alastor couldn’t help but enjoy that scream of pain. He examined you for a few more minutes before walking up behind you and poking you in your back. Where your wings were ripped off. Where it hurt.

Yep. You definitely wanted to crawl into a hole and DIE.

“OW WHAT THE FUCK?!” You screamed and looked behind you, seeing Alastor tower of you and grin. “I swear to god.” Is all you said before you rubbed your eyes and looked away, “Gimmie a moment, I need to process this.”

“Oh no, I don’t think we have time for that.” Alastor hummed out, spinning you right back around, “Aren’t you interesting, looks like we have ourselves a fallen angel.” He twisted his cane and pointed it to you.

“I’ll shove that cane up your ass.” You threatened as you went to go grab at it which resulted in you getting fwacked in the head with it, “OW.”

You just couldn’t catch a break now, could you?

“Would you, my friend like to join the Hazbin Hotel? You look like you miss heaven.” Alastor spoke, watching you eye him suspiciously.

“How do you know that?” You asked a bit worried. “Oh, know everything..”

You sighed, “What is this.. Hazbin Hotel?” You asked, walking up closer to Alastor and examining him. “Oh, nothing but a sad, sad hotel for sinners alike to try and redeem themselves into heaven!”

You were skeptical, but you needed a place to go. “Fine. Lead the way, smiles.” You grumbled, and you two were soon off!

Alastor was definitely intrigued by you. Maybe he could try and get you to give him your soul, so you’d be one of his pets. The idea of that made him feel great.

Only time will tell.

[inevitably-ineffable-husbands]

OHHH, did you see the way Crowley talked to Gabriel? Honestly gives the scene Michael Sheen played so much more depth. I forget it was him playing Crowley who's just pretending to be the ever-kind Azzi, but actually FUMING. Hell yeah, you TELL HIM.

Also The Kiss (tm) and Azzi's pained gasp afterwards? How he still touched Crowley's back?? Do you think his (Azzi's) love language is words of affirmation or touch by the way? I saw you mentioning Crowley's in another post. Because after this series I'm CONFLICTED.

PS Your blog and metas are a DELIGHT in these turbulent times.

Hey Nonny!!

Ahhh, thank you so much for your kind words! I am so happy you enjoy my posts!! <3

OOOOH MY GOOOOOOOOD I loved the confrontation scene with Crowley and Gabriel. Michael Sheen is SO amazing as an actor! Like, that scene makes S1E6's ending SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL, because now we know how traumatized that Gabriel's threat made Crowley. He's SO PROTECTIVE of Azzie it's RIDICULOUS. And sadly it's to the point where I feel like Crowley is TOO SCARED to let Aziraphale know of anything bad happening, because Azzie is "too pure-hearted" and Crowley wants to always keep him in a bubble of protection. I think THAT got spurned on by Aziraphale's reaction the first time he thought he was going to Fall. Azzie was genuinely trying so hard not to cry. I think it was THAT moment that Crowley chose to never let "bad things" into Aziraphale's world (and when I think he started his "showing up for all Azzie's rescues") because Aziraphale is "too pure-hearted" for bad things to happen to him, so Crowley keeps him in a bubble where Azzie is safe, and happy, and things the best of everyone.

"I think I understand a whole lot better than you do," Crowley says about the job in Heaven, and it's TRUE, because Crowley has always kept Aziraphale sheltered from The Not Good Stuff.

Unfortunately, Crowley's overprotectiveness finally came to bite him, because Azzie's naïvety about Heaven is what will get him into a trouble even Crowley can't save him from...

Or so it looks like it...

As for The Kiss, OMG. Nonny. YES, I actually mention in this post here what I think Azzie's love languages are: quality time, initially, but that, over the years they've known each other has morphed also into physical touch. AND now that you mention it, yes, words of affirmation as well! And while he generally does display all the love languages with everyone (he is a being made of love, after all), he's MORE blatant about it with Crowley, specifically with those three. I feel like, by the end of S3, both of them will display all five of them to each other, without hesitation.

As I said before, Crowley's is more pronounced BECAUSE he's very devoted to giving Azzie anything he wants without hesitation. Azzie's love languages are more subtle, but VERY VERY noticeable if you know which ones to look for.

GOD I love them so much, I want to eat my clown shoes, LOL.

[most-datable-datable-bracket]

ROUND 1 MATCH 39

Haru propaganda:

“Haru often gets overlooked, but she's my fave of the P5 romance options. I like some of the other girls more as characters, but their romance routes feel a bit forced, while Haru seems to genuinely like the protagonist romantically”

Damien propaganda:

“I LOVE DAMIEN LAVEY A LOT !! he is such a silly gremlin of a guy I love him + he is my favourite character ever actually. He's the prince of the 8th circle of hell and his dads are the kings and they all love eachother a lot, it's really silly. when he was younger, to rebel he literally broke off one of his horns so that's why he has . one and a half.

he's really into drag, one of his endings in Prom is about how he wanted to do something with make-up/hair etc as a career but he felt as if his dads wanted him to solely take over as king of the 8th circle BUT that wasn't the case. at the end of the ending his dad's r like "what you can do what you want". ALSO we see him in drag in Monster Roadtrip and oh great heavens.

He is so silly. he has horrible . wilderness. instincts ...? because of the whole prince thing and it's really pathetic I love him. 

I could go on and on oh my god . one final thing uh also in roadtrip during one of the talks at the rest stop with him he calls you (the player) a silly dumbass and OHHH MY GOD I went bonkers I love him a lot”

“He's v cool and acts tough, but has a secret passion for hairstyling and make up that he hides cus he doesn't want to disappoint his dads who want him to rule over hell after them. Also he constantly commits arson, so that's fun :)”

[chelledoggo]

my Hazbin Hotel first watchthrough

(DISCLAIMER: this post is being typed as i'm watching. there may be inconsistencies in my attitude as i go on.)

🛑SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT🛑

Ep 1: blehhhh...

Ep 2: overall: "eh." villain song was pretty good.

Ep 3: something something something plot plot plot- LOOK IT'S THE SILLY SNEK AND EGG BOYS. 💖 "I'll Be Your Armor/Keeper" was a damn good song, even if at this point in the series i couldn't fucking stand Charlie.

Ep 4: ...okay i'll admit. this one for all its heavy subject matter was... handled alright. was nice to see Charlie finally grow some goddamn balls and show some righteous anger. kinda wanted to strangle Husk here until he actually showed some empathy. "Poison" was a good song, even if Angel's VA was pretty weird and pitchy at points. "Loser Baby" was a good one though.

Ep 5: i feel conflicted as a Christian finding Lucifer so charming. /j /lh also i think Charlie's starting to grow on me. and it only took over half the series. also fuck you Mimzy. the Alastor vs. Lucifer song was a goddamn bop. and "Hell's Best Dad" was beautiful.

Ep 6: WHOA. WHOAAAAAAAAA. WHOA. I FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT FOR NOT SEEING THAT COMING. this episode is hitting all the Christian Universalist and deconstructionist sweet spots for me. and God i love Emily, poor bab. ;~; ALSO YASS ANGEL STICK IT TO THE MOTH MAN.

Ep 7: all my hate for Charlie is gone. i just want her and Vaggie to be happy. i feel so bad for both of them. also "Out For Love" beats the entirety of Steven Universe's soundtrack in every category lol

Ep 8: oh gosh this... ohhh... this was phenomenal... like i started out hating this show and now i'm just itching to see what goes down next season!! i'm glad i stuck through!

misc. notes:

i hate that this series basically requires you to watch the pilot to understand the first episode. luckily i've seen it but...

i like some of the background character designs.

i like the little one-eyed gremlin girl thing.

i know we're supposed to like Charlie but GOD she's annoying. I RECANT THIS STATEMENT

Alastor best character.

i kinda like Sir Pentious. he's silly. and i love his egg boys.

Vaggie's just as done with this shit as i am but the difference is she loves Charlie where as i just want to strangle her lmao.

Velvette's kinda hot ngl.

Camilla too.

seriously though am i supposed to like Charlie? when do i start to like her? I ALSO RECANT THIS STATEMENT.

i feel like i would like Charlie more if she wasn't essentially a ripoff of every "quirky" Disney princess from Rapunzel onwards. AND I RECANT THIS ONE TOO

okay, as of ep 5... i'm starting to not hate Charlie so much.

why do some of the denizens of heaven look like demons?

ep 6 is where this series finally really grabs me ngl. glad i stuck around. i'm on the beginning of the finale as i'm typing this point and i'm excited to see how it concludes.

OH GOD IT WAS WORTH IT

the angels of heaven really do seem to be the "american evangelist/dispensationalist" archetype. they don't know why a soul can't be redeemed after death. they don't question it. they're not allowed to because... it's "breaking the rules" or whatever. as someone who grew up in that kind of environment, that really resonated with me.

[morningstarwrites]

Omg oh my star i love receiving your updates notifications, and you keep doing such a lovely job to be consistent with it, thank u a lot for the food. So where do I start…this chapter might become one of my fav like ever. I love that now Rosie is gonna help Angel with his ‘project’ and please I need to see Lucy actually getting jealous of someone being near Al, or overall being protective of him, cause I can’t be the only one who think that’s hot as hell?! Eheh see what I did there! Totally pun intended

We already seen Al being jealous in numerous occasions, so I think it would be hilarious if Lucy, who actually has more grasp on his feelings for him, gets jealous and Al doesn’t understand why the king of hell is suddenly angry and clingy to him but he actually finds that he doesn’t mind it, and he gets even more confused lol

I adore how in this chapter Lucifer is respecting Al’s boundaries and Al is finally asking for another hug. I screamed so hard when he made Lucy sit on his lap, cause one hug wasn’t enough, and Lucifer just went on with it, following him like a little duckling. One of my favourite scene was definitely the ‘drunk fist fight’ scene. The mental image of Lucifer and Al wobbling like infant and throwing punches and strawberries at each other was priceless. At one point I was wheezing so hard I had to take a break. Ohhh and Lute finally made her move eheh Imagine if she just ends up sanding Nifty back, only after a day, cause she is discovering a new novelty: bad girls. Heaven is doomed!!!

I love this, can’t wait to read more💕💕

Btw I was wondering…u talked about showing more of their relationship in the future, when they finally get together. And do u accept prompt by any chance? Cause I am a big bottom!al stan and I would love to see Lucifer spoil the HELL out of Alastor, like giving him 🎁 and such, and him not knowing what to do with that:)

‘One the one hand, how dare he 'baby' me, on the other hand, hmmm, this is actually kind of nice’ kinda of thing😆

Honestly I mostly say that cause I am ace, and that would be what I would want from a possible romantic relationship. I like the idea to be spoiled a lot lol

But anyway thank u for listening💜

I am SO touched, thank you 🥹 I'm so glad you liked the chapter!

And me personally, I love the jealousy trope! I'll sprinkle it in for sure. I know, that hug was a long time coming haaaaaah I get shocked by my own slow pace sometimes

Don't worry - their relationship is gonna be super romantic, I guarantee it! Definitely gift-giving and such. But also they'll still be dumb and aggressive together haha. I've always approached them as a Partnership of Equals so you'll see how it unfolds!

Thanks for letting me know your thoughts, because it definitely helps me think about what people are interested in seeing/carve out the details for my next chapter!

[unknownarmageddon]

killer felt terrible. horrible. like he'd been gutted a thousand times over, hollowed out so painfully and violently that it left a gaping pit of hurt in his chest that tightened every time he thought about cross.

he didn't understand what he'd done wrong. except he did, but he didn't get it. cross wanted space. that was okay.

but it wasn't okay, because space meant being alone, and killer didn't like being alone, especially after having cross so close to him for so long. they'd spent some nights tangled together in a sweet embrace, exchanging kisses as easily as they did breath, sharing thousands of words between their souls, he'd let cross touch his soul, he'd felt cross's. cross had held him through some of his worst lv breaks, had wiped his face of liquid negativity when it hurt killer to even think of moving. he'd wrapped killer up in his arms, and when he couldn't do that, he'd wrapped him up with his coat.

so why, why, when killer worded the feeling he knew cross felt mutually, he'd heard it from cross's very soul that night, why was cross pushing him away?

why is he losing the one thing, the one person he had left to love, simply for daring to speak it aloud? it wasn't fair.

a surge of anger left a bitter taste in killer's mouth, but if left just as quickly as it came, lingering only as some sour aftertaste, like biting into an overripe mango. he wanted to be angry, because surely he didn't deserve this treatment? he had done nothing wrong.

but he didn't know what cross felt about it, how cross saw it, how cross heard it.

killer couldn't stop replaying it in his mind. he recalled it all just as vividly as it had been happening. cross's sleeping bag was stiflingly hot, his hands even hotter, every inch of them pressed together tightly, seeking out touch readily given. cross knew how to kiss, it always left killer's head feeling fuzzy and warm, and it had felt even more so then with every renewed kiss. they broke apart, gasping into each other's mouths and killer hadn't even thought about it, hadn't considered what he was doing, simply blurting it out when cross went to reclaim his mouth.

it was such a simple phrase. three simple little words, that shattered everything killer held dear and near to his broken, faulty soul. it drove cross away. cross.

he'd never loved anyone, not like this, not this much, and it was heaven turned to hell when cross was suddenly five feet away at all times, silent, cold, all but ignoring him, and it left killer shivering through the warm summer nights.

it was unfair.

-p :]

WEEPING WAILING SOBBING. CRYING EVEN

WHAT THE FUCK WHAT WHAT

OHHH MY GOD DUDE HOLY SHIT

Weeping head in hands

/pos/pos/pos I fucking love this one actually laying dead on the floor