#ok I Need to immediately stop thinking about this because I am being hit with an intense sense of impending doom and want to shoot myself

[dracolizardlars]

Also I've never posted anything about this so far but I just... i just feel the need to say by this point... I hate what's happening in Palestine so much, so so so much and the longer it's going on the more I just can't comprehend it and how it's just being allowed to keep happening. I normally don't really engage myself with international affairs (well or even my own country's politics) because my mental health is bad enough as it is, and I never usually post about any of it either, but... Yeah... This is a new scale of awful. This is the most bothered by something happening in the world that I've ever been. It feels like a bad timeline. It feels like a horror movie. My own country is supporting it btw.

[runby2]

Ok so it's canon that Klavier mentally age regresses around Kristoph. It obviously wasn't the writers entire intent, but it is the type of abuse Kristoph uses on Klavier in this context. I know because I am a victim of it as well.

You see him shrink in on himself when he panics about something - he hits walls with his fists like a frustrated child and holds his head. He even starts begging.

When he was 17 he immediately jumped to his age as his defense when he realized oh no, I messed up, this isn't what Kristoph wanted me to say. I need to fix this or else. You see him going quiet any time Kristoph throws a backhanded comment during the misham case - oh, older brother is talking, time for me to be quiet.

The panic and silence from Klavier's end is involuntary, because he tries to bite back and he hates how he's feeling. You see him have a panic attack when he realizes that everything he knew was a lie.

I think the most tragic part is that Kristoph knows it only takes one degrading comment like that to get Klavier to stop talking, and regress back to feeling small and powerless. Klavier only breaks out of it because Apollo is there to ground him. Kristoph calls it control that Klavier is spiraling out of, and it is, but more specifically he's using trigger terms that sound simply rude around others, but they are heavy enough to knock Klavier down immediately. Because Klavier has had these threats and comments weighing him down gradually throughout his entire life. And now, during his weakest and most vulnerable moment, they've never hit him harder.

We've seen how these comments affected Apollo's self esteem. Imagine what Klavier had to deal with all of his life. He's stuck in a loop of being that younger brother forever - he never had a chance to grow up. He knows he can't live up to Kristoph, and puts a mask on to be the adult rockstar. What's underneath it all?

A scared teenager.

[alilarew23]

the first manifestation is [in] the body

i want you to genuinely ask yourself if the reason you’re struggling to shift states is really due to a lack of faith/belief in your power as god of your reality or if it’s because you’re biologically addicted to the stress hormones associated with “trying” to manifest your desires.

i think most people, like myself, discover the law of assumption at a time when their inner/outer worlds have crumbled.

they’ve lost something or someone dear to their hearts. they’ve been fired. the business deal they thought for sure they had in the bag fell through.

but here, someone on tiktok says, i have a solution. decide what you want. affirm and persist until it shows up.

now, to be clear, i am by no means against affirmations if they work for you, if you’re truly repeating phrases as a means of reminding yourself you already have/are that which you desire to be, or if said repetition helps you shift states.

if something works for you, great.

keep repeating.

but i think there’s a general misunderstanding surrounding the term “persist” that can (and often does) have seriously detrimental implications for people first learning about/applying the law, especially those who haven’t read or listened to material from neville or edward art (yes, there are other wonderful teachers, but for me, the neville-edward duo is where to start).

persist, put simply, means to know, to continually accept your assumption as true despite lack of immediate evidence in your physical world.

acceptance does not imply—and does not demand—any work on the part of the assumer.

acceptance is by nature gentle.

it is a pleasant, “yes, i already am. yes, everything already is. yes, my prayer has been answered. thank you.”

but there’s this energy a lot of supposed-teachers have attached to the term that makes those applying the law think they need to work.

PERSIST PERSIST PERSIST UNTIL IT SHOWS UP.

meaning, if you are not working, if you are not affirming and visualizing and scripting and SATS-ing every second until who knows the exact moment your desire materializes, it will not materialize.

which then gets people in the state of working, of trying, which by nature has force/anxiety attached to it.

which implies not being/having.

how can you work to get something you already have?

how can you try to become something you already are?

when people start to realize this, usually because they either get exhausted and depressed from all work and no results, or they manifest their first neville book that begins re-orient their relationship to the law, they might have the realization that, oh! this can be…mind-bogglingly easy.

like, i legit just decide i have/am something and go about my life and it appears in my physical world?

what a relief!

but then…immediate anxiety sets in.

NOT, at least i don’t think—and of course this isn’t always the case, there are exceptions—because they don’t believe in the law or intuitively know/feel their power to select and step into the reality of their dreams, the one inherently granted to them by their god-selves, but instead because they have trained their bodies to not trust—to not feel safe within—their power.

to not allow for the naturalness of having/being what they desire to effortlessly take over.

which is the key to successful manifestation.

it’s like, oh, ok, it’s done!

but five minutes later, the body says, where is all that anxious energy i’ve been hit with non-stop for the past seven months?

now, if they could sit with this discomfort, they might realize that, actually, that *lack* of anxious energy is a signal to the inner man/subconscious mind/whatever you want to call it that—hell yeah! we have this thing now!—hence the immediate build-traverse of the bridge of events, and a rapid materialization of said desire in the physical world because they are living in the end (present, not desiring)—and that realization might make it easier to stay in the being/having state.

but instead, there’s the bodily pull-back to the trying state.

which leads only to more exhaustion and frustration and depression and the cycle begins itself again.

but there’s such an easy fix.

i did it.

you can do it, too.

here it is.

STAY.

in that feeling of relief. of ease. of almost-disbelief.

at all costs.

it sounds so silly to say your life depends on you sitting in this sort of discomfort, because—what?

how could simply being/knowing/gently accepting be this uncomfortable?

it shouldn’t be, and i’m genuinely sorry for all of us who have had to do the work of un-learning the persist-work stuff, but also, maybe it isn’t work.

maybe this, too, can be easy.

gentle acceptance.

we already are. everything already is.

it is a blessing to exist in and accept this naturalness.

[maximumkillshot]

Home

Warnings: There are a lot with this one and it hits close to home. Mentions of S/A. The R word is used, sobbing, anxiety and mental episode. mentions of self harm, mentions victim blaming and slut shaming. MDNI. There is fluff spattered around.

Pairing: BangChanxReader

Characters: Bang Chan, Reader, mention of the person who S/A, people Slut Shaming and Victim Blaming. 

A/N:  Okay so this one is heavy. The things you are about to read have happened to me. I had a mental episode a while back. I wrote most of this during said episode. This is what I think Chan would do for his S/O if they went through and go through what I did. This blog has always been a safe space. I use my fictions to entertain as well as a platform to have safe conversations. If you need me as always I will hang around after drop.

I Can't Lose You Masterlist-CLICK HERE

Stray Kids Masterlist-CLICK HERE

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

“YN?” Your husband called out to you. You couldn't hear him from the pressure of today. It created a seething pool of frustration and anger as you kneeled at the foot of the bed, wanting to pray, but now that you think about it the pain of being on the floor was a sweet torture in and of itself. 

Usually, anger like this wouldn't be a problem for you. You would go down to the basement and punch granite with your poorly taped hands, yes you were only a kid then, not knowing how else to get the anger out only stopping when you'd hear a crunch. Yes, that was the start of negative coping mechanisms, and yes you are trying to either bury that anger or let it consume you fast before Chris gets home. He's dealt with enough, we don't need to add on to it.  

Now you're no longer a child… as a matter of fact, you are now an adult, an adult with a hairpin trigger vaguely yet expertly disguised as comedic sarcasm. Depression that you don't remember not having… maybe when you were 8? You weren't sure. Not to mention a cast made of a myriad of physical and mental health issues…. Disabilities… and the cast of characters just keep growing! You have the medicine and the “coping techniques”, they called it, for success! Even those fail. 

Trying to talk it out just made you more angry, the injustice looking more and more ludicrous by the second. Okay, let's try breathing. Yeah no. That didn't work either, it just gave your brain more oxygen, so your brain went from quantum computer speed to Sonic the fucking Hedgehog. Oh… ok oh oh! Let's try soundboarding. You know, talk to people, not yourself. That ended in yet another game of useless catch phrases like “calm down” and “you shouldn't be thinking of that.” 

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T FUCKING KNOW THANK YOU! Oh, and I almost forgot the “Your method of thought isn't changing because you don't want to change '' DO YOU THINK I AM POKED ALL DAY AND SAY TO MYSELF…

‘OH I WANT TO FEEL MORE LIKE SHIT… I KNOW LET ME RUN MY FACE INTO A BRICK WALL OF ANXIETY REPEATEDLY UNTIL I CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF ANYMORE.’

You reverted to hurting the people around you due to your anger and frustration, plus you darkened the mood, you've always been a multitasker. My friends were right. I'm depressing, I was only kept around because of my ex. That was before they kicked me out… because they didn't want to believe he assaulted me. You go back to that night often… 

“I didn’t want to do that, I felt icky” You told him after he came back from cleaning himself up in the bathroom, while you were left to clean the traces of himself from your own mouth. No aftercare, no thought about you. The ghost of a boy who used you, who was an on and off friend of almost 10 years…

“I know.” he answered with no emotion.

“Then… why?” You asked, your head cocked to the side.

“Because I really wanted it.” He puts his hand on your shoulder, “But I’m sorry you feel that way. Shit now I feel bad.”

Then it switched to those friends, on another night… “ I just don’t buy it. That DID NOT HAPPEN, I know him better than you.”

“I mean you did it anyway so you must’ve wanted it.”

You tried to explain that you were assaulted, it’s called coercive consent and it’s the most common form of assault. You were raped. You didn’t want to do it and he knew that but you wanted to make him happy. You tried to explain, to educate. They weren’t having it.This conversation at times whirls in your head. Making you itch to pull a trigger, do something to make the torture stop.

“You always overreact and you’re so annoying why don’t you just go the fuck away!”

“You’re so depressing just fucking go away! We only tolerated you because you are his girlfriend, just go the fuck away!” The intent in her voice. The reality. You trusted her most out of the entire group. She helped you emotionally… Now shaming you, blaming you.

Her boyfriend rendered you speachless when you called it what it was, it was rape via coercive consent:

“Oh I get the kind of person you are, you’re the type of person who gets felt up in the middle of the night by their significant other because they’re trying to get laid and you call it rape.”

You know the right method to take now, right… Yeah you do.

Isolate… process… torture yourself…cry… alone. Contain the monster, so it doesn't hurt anyone else… You're just a monster parading as a human. Don't forget it. This happens when you forget Y/N… stop being reckless. Always so fucking reckless… 

You started clenching your hands one over the other, wanting to rake the top of your hands until they bled, trying to ground yourself. Until subconsciously, you did. You rocked as you did it, trying to soothe yourself.

Sometimes you swear people don't see you drowning right in front of their fucking eyes. You know how to swim, you know how to get out, to scream, punch, fight. You want to swim, you really do. But you can only do so much in a rip current. The lifeguard sees you. But instead of helping they yell “PADDLE! JUST PADDLE YOU'LL BE FINE!” It's a different level of patronization. It just makes you want to let the tides swallow you. Because why fight when the waters are so warm?

“Y/N?!” Chris yelled as he saw your bag tossed haphazardly on the couch, never where you put it. He stopped and listened carefully. He thought back to the last text you sent him. “Shit hit the fan at work …I don't want to feel right now. I'll see you at home.” 

That middle sentence made his heart stop. He knows you… something was up. He tried texting you back, sending words of encouragement, calling, and leaving cute messages when you didn't pick up, and nothing was heard from you. As soon as he could get away from schedules he did. When he looked at the clock you had sent that message three hours beforehand, he never raced home faster. 

He knows what your mind does to you. He sees the battles every day. When he’d compliment you and you would look down, not shy, but contradictory. When he’d pick you up you would freeze and he’d remind you that you aren’t too heavy, that he loves you in every single way that you think is impossible to love you. He’d always encourage you to wear what you want, do what you want. He would caress every single curve, never being able to keep his hands off of you. Whispering into your ear in public as he tilts your head up gently after asking for permission. He’d kiss you so delicately in front of a sea of people. On the red carpet, on stage, it didn’t matter. You were and are his person, and he loved showing you off. He couldn’t win the war in your mind for you, but he damn sure would fight those battles with you.

He would fight away those negative thoughts, he’d wrap his arms around you and sing to you to will those images, the anxiety and fear away. Until those thoughts were rendered useless. He’d wrestle with them for control, as soon as he won your mind back he gave it to you. He reminded you that you are here with him for a reason. He adores you, and nothing would change that. 

It was something he promised you when he saw you breakdown while doing your medicines. You told him that you were ashamed of it all. All the illnesses, that you weren’t perfect and that you’d understand if he didn’t want you. He looked at you and helped with your medicines, learned about each of them, and their dosages. He was so gentle, smiling at you, wiping your tears. He looked at all the medicines and said, anything that keeps you alive is nothing to be ashamed of. You aren’t something to be ashamed of. He knows that sometimes you can’t hear him until he’s right in your ear. Now looked like that case.

You couldn't hear him calling out to you, your mind too loud, too vicious, bloodthirsty. When pain and self-deprecation are your main moods, all others seem like an abnormal concept. Something that is stolen, was it even real in the first place? You know one thing that was real… Chris. You hated being this… the medications, the constant fires in your mind, the barrage of hate aimed at yourself, of unbridled strength turned inward to rip yourself apart for no reason other than things piling up. He didn't deserve that. He deserves peace, the best… just like what he demands of himself, perfection. 

You got through the gauntlet at your job. People undermining your authority, people on a power trip of their own. Sending others to try to intimidate, embarrass you into submission… as if you weren't a bloodthirsty wolf that could snap any second, biting their heads clean off. “An Alpha through and through,” that's what Chris would say, “Even Alphas have to bite their tongue, Love.” 

That made you cry more because at this point you don't even know if your tongue is still existent, or if you swallowed the damn thing after you bit it off. Or worse… you still have it… but you lost your voice. You know that can't be it, we're too fucking stubborn for that.

But the hits didn't stop coming, traffic happened, then going to the doctor who said that the physical therapy you needed would eat into your personal time, your time to write, to cook for Channie and the boys, to spend time with Channie and the boys.. then you forgot the doctors note so you had to walk back in for it. Then you had to go home while you tried to talk about everything… and well now here we are. 

Even now you try to problem solve, try to nitpick at yourself, the person he loves so much. You collapsed more on the floor of your shared bedroom, cross-legged thinking of the ocean, the violent, dangerous, tumultuous ocean… something simultaneously so beautiful and scary. You want to say you are like an ocean, but you don't see beauty in yourself, only a beast. That's all we'll ever be.

Chris freezes in the hallway hearing a sob break loose from you. He hadn't heard a sob like that before, it chilled his core. How does he approach this? He sees the doctor's note thrown next to your purse… He was happy you were approved for physical therapy, you really were in a lot of pain daily from the muscle and tendon weakness, but he looked at the times…

He looked to the hallway, “Oh…Baby Girl.” He had one piece of the puzzle. He knew you loved to cook for him and the boys but this schedule meant you couldn't do that for the foreseeable future. You enjoyed seeing the boys eating, and staying fueled, knowing without that they'd opt for less healthy options. Then he saw the paper right under it. A typed log… a leger of interactions throughout your day… “No…” 

Right there, in black and white, was what you went through today, everything down to the sarcastic smirk your coworker had as you were barraged with pressure to break the rules… and you didn't break. He never would've expected you to. You are the strongest person he knows. Even under these conditions, Chris himself would break. In front of fifty plus people being berated, pushed to do something you knew you couldn’t do. 

Right at the end of it was a line, written in plain ink by hand. “Vacation not given as described by supervisor. No week off.” With tear stains smudging the ink. 

Chris started walking down the hall to the shared bedroom. As he walked closer he heard you mumbling as you sobbed. Things like “stop crying” and “it's nothing.” But one made him freeze right before he opened the door, “Chris is going to worry. You already take too much from him, get it together so he won't worry. It’ll hurt him. Stop hurting the people you love. You’re a monster.”

That made his eyes sting, you were worried about him above all else. He slowly opened the door and you couldn't find it in you to look up. You knew who it was. The aura you know and love, like salve on the holes you ripped into yourself. The small steps were only weighed down by his sneakers as he slowly spoke. 

“Hey…Baby Girl?” The tone was even more soothing. We don't deserve that. “Can you look at me please?” You just shook your head. Too embarrassed at the shambling mess you are. The real you that you hide. 

Before you knew it you saw two big hands undoing the laces on his sneakers, shortly after he toed them off. Slowly he sat in front of you groaning “Oooooookay criss-cross applesauce it is…” making you smirk as you wiped your nose with the inside of the collar of your shirt. Finally, as he settled he said “aaaaaughh” with a big puff of air… 

You just tucked your head into your chest as you hid as much as you could. He waited for a few minutes, until he said, “We can address what happened in a few minutes. But you need to know. You don't take from me.” 

Your tears kept falling as you listened, his tone calming the raging currents in your mind.

He looked at the engagement and wedding band on your left hand. He watched the tears fall, he saw the holes in you. He wanted to lunge at you, take that emotional knife away from you, smother you in affection. Hold you, his heart burned for it. Needle and thread ready to patch you up. To heal you.

 He spoke softly, “You are my everything, Y/N. You aren't a burden, a disappointment, you aren't a chore, the only thing you took from me was my heart, but you had that before I even heard your voice. The second I saw you… I gave it to you. I don't want it back either.” 

You hiccuped breaths as you listened. He scooted a little closer and he put his hands out, palm up into your vision… asking for your hands. That was when you realized you were scratching at them again. 

You unfurled them from one another, hissing where one nail was slightly deeper, the tiny droplet of blood following soon after.

He looked at your hands, humming in the back of his throat, “One second.” He didn’t want to show it, but he was worried. You feel so much and he just wants to be there to hold you, to love you. 

Then popped up and left. He came back with a first aid kit, “Oooooookay heeaarr we goar again... criss-cross.” That made you giggle the tiniest bit. Chris always loved to hear your laugh. Your laugh is infectious and it always never fails to brighten his day. He knew he was making progress.

You couldn't see it but Chris was smirking at your tiny cute form. And hearing that little giggle made him want to channel Changbin and squeal at the cuteness overload. 

“Okay my Koala Bear… hands.” When you both had started dating, he noticed you always hung on to him. You explained that he was warm and you were always frozen, especially in the colder months. You asked if it was okay for you to hold on to him like that. Internally he was trying his best not to giggle like a school boy at the prospect of you holding on to him like this naturally. He looked at you and said, “It’s no problem, you just remind me of a Koala Bear, so cute and tiny. Can I call you that? My Koala Bear?” And you nodded blushing. Since then, you’ve been his Koala Bear. 

You presented your hands to him wincing at the stretch of the new scratches and he said “So tiny… so cute. Okay tiny sting” he cleaned the bigger scratch and put a bandage on it, and checked the rest. Once he deemed it all good to have your hands back. He kissed them then returned them to your lap. “Thank you for letting me clean them.” 

You nodded and hummed. The voices slowed down. They always slowed down around him. He always was your safe place. Like home base in a baseball game. If you made it there, you’re safe. You’re home. That thought made you sad, surprisingly. How are you safe with only one person? You should have security in yourself not in someone else. Your brain was waiting to start assaulting you again. 

“Is it loud in there?” Chris asked. You've told him about all of this before, this is the first time he's seen it this bad though. The voices, memories attack you. You explained to him that sometimes your brain will do this, you try to hold it back but sometimes it just can’t be helped.

“Mhmm”

“People don't help… right?”

“mhmm”

“Can you tell me what's going on in there?”

You told him. Some.. not all. You also told him about that pesky intrusive thought about your ex and your friends. 

His body went rigid as he said, “No… they're the ones that are wrong, not you. Your ex…” He wanted to choose his words carefully. He knew that you blame yourself at times. The memory of you explaining why you were hesitant to go further when you were dating. He assured you there was no pressure. That he loved you for you, the rage boiled in him and it still does because you were never at fault for this. Especially when you trusted that asshole enough to experiment with him. He was going to be your first for everything but after what he did. The trust was gone, rightfully so.

Chris continued, “He took advantage of you, and coerced you into consent, that is not love. That is not okay? That is sexual assault. The way that your friends acted was disgusting, the way he acted was sub-human… You are not depressing, you are one of the most beautiful, talented, funny, caring, loving people I have…” his voice gave out and he cleared his throat, “You are one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my life. I love you so much and I know you feel like you're a burden on me but being with you has been the most amazing thing I've ever experienced.”

He tilted your head up and you let him, he had tears in his eyes as he said, “You have never been nor will you ever be a monster.” Your tears picked up as you looked into his eyes. You could tell, Chris doesn’t lie. He’ll tell you the truth. His tears started falling as you leaned forward, reaching for him, needing contact. When you saw him you needed his warmth, you need him to heal you. You were losing hope, faith, everything as you watched the holes in you. Seeing him holding the needle and thread. By holding you, being with you, just being himself, it heals you. You whimpered, “Need you…” As your tears switched from self-hate to desperation… you needed him and he could tell. 

He untangled his legs and scooped you up, cradling you in his arms as he rocked you petting your hair back, “You are my inspiration, my eternal love, you are the best part of my past, my present, and my future. You are the future mother to my children, the woman I'm going to grow old with, my forever and always. You are my Y/N, and I am never going to let you forget who you are and why I love you, okay?” He started crying, shielding you in his chest, protecting you. Stitching you together as you heard his heartbeat. You cried on him, relieved that you were with him.

You pulled back from him nodding. He tried to kiss your lips but you said “I'm all snotty” and he giggled. Leave it to you to be worried about snotty kisses. You looked so adorable, cheeks and nose red, nose running, tears stopping, the twinkle coming back into your eyes as he looked at you. 

“Are you denying me my snotty kisses?” He giggled as he said “Okay fine. There's no snot on your forehead” he pecked your forehead, “none on your cheeks”, and laid another peck, this pattern continued for any expanse of skin he could get his lips on as you giggled at him and his barrage of affection. When he stopped he wiped your nose with his sleeve and he kissed you gently on the lips. He savored moments like this, being able to heal you, to pick you up. He looked into your eyes as he said, “now I am thinking I’ll draw up a bath for us and I’ll give you a nice massage. After that we order take away, from your favorite place, then we watch something, Hm?” He looked at you for an answer as he kept wiping tears.

You nodded and gently, he placed you back where you were and went to get the bath ready. You'll always have hard days, but those days turn into amazing nights with Chris. Your home.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

LIKE MY WRITING? WANT MORE? Tell me so! Want in on the tags?? Shoot me an ask and consider it done!

[red1culous]

Exhale

Snow was falling thick and fast as Nat follows Wanda out onto the pavilion into the cold night air. It falls in straight vertical lines gathering on their hair. Faster and faster, thicker and thicker big flakes feel like ice pricks on Nat’s bare shoulders before melting away.

“So much for the weather forecast” Nat mutters.

“This is so you” Wanda sighs stopping in her tracks.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Nat says almost bumping into her unprepared for her abrupt stop.

Wanda shakes her head. “It means you fall for someone and then you set the world on fire so you two can’t be together.”

Nat’s eyes widen at her description. “That’s not true and—“

“Oh come on Natasha. I may be the youngest here but I am your best friend and I see what’s going on. You like someone and then you get scared so you go out of your way to screw things up. You act ridiculous so no one can really get close to you. You want attention to a point. Once someone gets close to you, and in this case Y/N, you do something catastrophic to guarantee they run a mile away.”

“Ok, well don’t feel like you need to hold back” Nat says a little hurt but more so embarrassed by how accurately Wanda had described her. She sighs and hides her face in her hands. “Wow I am a monster. Maybe it’s best she keeps away then.”

Wanda leans in closer to her best friend poking her index finger into Nat’s shoulder. “Did you not hear a thing I just said?”

“Oh I heard you loud and clear. Crystal, in fact.” Nat’s shoulder slump a little.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel bad.”

Nat snorts. “Well you’re failing there.”

Wanda rolls her eyes. “Look all I’m saying is we all have baggage. I have enough to fill the Compound. But it’s what we do with the baggage that makes it better or worse. Are you just going to keep pushing people away or are you going to let her in?”

Wanda’s steady and piercing gaze punches holes through every excuse Nat had floating about in her head. She had long realised that her attraction towards you was more than just physical. Sure you had an allure that she was immediately drawn to. But just knowing that you were in the same building as her made her feel grounded. It was as if just being close to you made the world seem a little messed up than it was. 

Nat knew Wanda was right. It was weird and it was selfish. She was purposely trying to self sabotage just because she was falling…or rather, had fallen for you. 

Nat releases a huge breath. “Why would you want me to be with her. I’m a mess, Wands.”

“Because you’re so much more. And you’re the first person who makes her smile like an idiot and isn’t just using her.”

“I’m not the right person for her” Nat counters.

“Not right now you aren’t,” Wanda leans back on her heels and folds her hands across her chest, “but you could be.”

“How?” Nat asks her voice smaller than it’s ever been.

“Stop beating yourself up for whatever it is you think you think you’re responsible for.”

“Anyone tell you you’re like Oprah and Dr Phil combined?” Nat says a smile in her voice.

Wanda kicks some snow into Nat’s direction. “Did you hear a word I just said or do you want me to hit you in the face with a snowball?”

Nat lifts both hands in surrender. “And I’m going to make this right, I promise.”

“Good” Wanda replies giving Nat a quick side hug.

“Can we go inside now my nipples feel like they’re about to fall off” Nat says shifting her weight from foot to foot.

Wanda laughs pulling Nat into her side. “It’s not my fault you’re not wearing a coat” she says as they start walking back into the building. 

-------

I have a taglist if you would like to be on it.

@arcturusseer @readings-stuff @blackwidow-3 @justyourwritter69 @cutelittleakira @jareguiromanoff @sk1nnyftt @official-clint-barton @nattysredhair @black-kittycat18 @owloftheshadows @angryalpacachaos @iliketozoneout @marvelonmymind @wastdstime @lovelyy-moonlight @beholdagaywriter @inluvwithfictionalwomen @33-mrvl @wandanats-goodgirl

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

Once again I have so many thoughts, but very limited time to express them, so will attempt to make my swirling brain come up with something coherent.

I am finding it interesting to see all the different reactions to Dangerous Romance this week. To be clear, I am the kind of person who rarely has expectations going into a show, and am much more a "meh, let's see where the journey takes us" kind of watcher. I'm also very much still in my "yay, queer content" phase, and if it means looking at Perth for an hour a week, I'm probably going to be happy. (Not that I'm never disappointed, do I think Big Dragon needed about 200% more BDSM? Yes, yes I do.)

I do totally respect when a show isn't working for some people. That said, I am completely fine with the pacing, because what I am seeing, is a fuck-ton of setup.

Sure, the bullying has stopped, but now we know Kang is capable of being very dark and cruel, especially when there is something making him feel powerless in his life. He also has a weakness around Sailom, and is still trying to exert control, just in a new way.

Yeah, Sailom only had to escort once before getting back to tutoring, but Name literally followed him to his place of work, AND confirmed for himself that Sailom will accept a job like that with very little pushback - meaning if he gets even more desperate, it won't take much to push him further. Name is not going to do nothing with that information.

And I get if people feel like Saifah and Sailom should be freaking out more about their situation, but I kind of feel like that's purposeful? Saifah is an ass. He acts like everything is no big deal, because his little brother is going to be the one busting his butt to save them. He plays the part of the benevolent loving older brother, he buys treats for Sailom, but if it's a choice between Sailom getting beaten or himself, he's fine if it's Sailom.

And I may really be getting in the clown car here, but...who gets an injury that puts them in a desperate situation right at the worst time, when Sailom loses his tutoring job? Who would be in the best position to tell Name where Sailom works, and that Sailom will be easy to convince to accept an offer?

And right now Sailom is still in his "I adore my older brother" phase. It's been just the two of them for so long. He doesn't act stressed in front of Saifah, because when he told Saifah he lost his tutoring job, Saifah's response was, "yeah, rich people suck, huh". He's learned to hide his feelings, because his brother is an ass who will not take them seriously, and his friends will immediately want to try to help him - and he doesn't want help he doesn't feel he's earned. So yeah, we're not seeing his mask slip much yet - but I think we will. He will hit his breaking point.

Ok, and this is where I need to talk about the bubble. Because, yeah, Kang was snapped out of his when he saw Sailom getting beaten. But now - he's just in another one. One where he has accepted his money can't buy Sailom, but where he believes his money can protect Sailom. And right now? Sailom is joining him in this bubble. Why wouldn't he? It feels warm and safe and there's a cute boy inside. They can play games and work by candlelight. (I mean, c'mon, Kang literally put the boy in a VR helmet).

But this bubble, like the first one, is going to burst. And it's going to be rough for both of them.

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Howdy howdy howdy!!! 🫶 🤠 I NEEDED to pop back in and let ya know I’m a little feral over the innocent/inexperienced reader with the toxic king (aka wrecker of worlds, seriously wtf he must be stopped) asks. BECAUSE and hear me out guys, I need konig absolutely rotting in this new hell and about to spontaneously combust with sweet little reader who hasn’t let him hit yet, who just wants to lie down with him on a sofa or bed and shes just humming along, tracing over his arms or chest or abs perfectly innocently while chatting about her day. And meanwhile konig’s mind is sounding the nuclear explosion warning and the man can’t BREATHE and reader goes to rest her little head on his chest and immediately pops back up like bro are you ok, your heart is going to explode 👀

Konig, trying desperately to not be a horny menace, with clenched fists and gritted teeth, white knuckling the whole time: ja, totally fine, this is how I relax

So I’m all for torturing toxic konig with fluff since homeboy doesn’t know how to act and he deserves to suffer through oblivious sweet reader 👍👍

I also feel like we’re all in the worlds dirtiest book club lmao and I AM HERE FOR IT

Howdy my man, I'm so happy to hear from you!!

And oh my goodness. Wrecker of worlds?!? He does need to be stopped! Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen in our dirty little book club ^^

Of course this woman’s appeal only increases in König's eyes when she makes him work for it. She’s morally superior to any woman he’s ever met so yes, his heart is about to explode (along with his cock).

And what’s even worse is that she calls him 'cute' and 'sweet'. Probably thinks he’s just shy under that hood when he’s simply trying his best to act normal and not smother her during another cuddle session that leaves him blue balled.

König starts to build up so much resentment. This woman must be torturing him for some sick, feminine entertainment purposes... Does she think he’s just a toy she can play with after ten, eleven, twelve dates? What kind of a demonic temptress even does something like this to a poor, lovesick man?

But no… She wouldn’t do that, she’s far too innocent and far too sweet. He’s just letting the beast inside him get the better of him again... Poor girl doesn’t even know that there’s practically a demon inside this hood.

But then he gets riled again when she invites him to her place and has the audacity to put on a romantic movie. There’s even a scene where the leading couple is kissing in the rain. This is literally worse than being captured by the enemy and being tortured for days.

She sneaks her hand into his and squeezes softly while the couple on the screen are kissing slowly while they're drenched, everything’s so sensual, and all he can think about is how he's supposed to disguise the swelling cock inside his pants as he imagines himself and the sweet girl beside him in that scene. Those wet sounds wouldn't even compare to the ones that would rise were he between her legs with his mouth…

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for ditching my friend for kicking someone out of our Discord server?

Some context before I begin. We are strictly online friends, with all of us having more than one social. I am the youngest of this group when this happened, with a friend named Yammy being the oldest, a girl named Isabella the second oldest, a girl and a boy named Lisa and James about driving age, and me, essentially the baby. There are a few other people who would not want me to talk about them here, but they’re all around Lisa and James’s age.

I met Isabella on Deviantart back in May of 2022. We hit it off almost immediately, sharing several interests and a common friend (James). About a month later, we were joking about forming a cult of kindness, and since her username had something with a chicken in it, we named it the chicken kindness coop (she changed it to coop for ethical reasons). I met Lisa, Yammy, and a bunch of other people on that server, and we would do shitpost roleplays and share vents about our real lives. I remember Isabella constantly posting vents and pictures of her life. She was homeschooled, which I used as justification for her constant messaging. Isabella was my grounding stone for a long time.

However, things started to fall apart in May of 2023. Out of the blue, I got a message in a brand new message channel named ‘Judgement Hall.’ Isabella purposefully did not give Lisa access to the channel. She wanted to kick Lisa out of the group chat because she was uncomfortable with her being around. Her reasoning was that Lisa was very religious, which we all knew about and respected. I, as a trans male, and a few other anonymous queer members were all fine with her as she was always a refreshing break from the wild roleplays and heated debates on how you should water your mochi. However, Isabella said Lisa was triggering her religious trauma. I, being an easily influenced minor, let her run her course. However, Yammy stepped in and let Lisa know about Isabella’s message. She sent a mass text out, and told us she was leaving and that this was an unfair judgement on Lisa. Here’s where I might’ve been TA. I immediately replied to her message, saying I was leaving, and asking why Isabella wanted to kick Lisa from the chat without even telling her. I then left the chat.

Later, when Yammy reached out to me, they said that James (who also had religious trauma, but was completely fine with Lisa) had reached out to Isabella. Him being one of the few people who stayed for a while without leaving or being kicked, he was in pretty much an empty server, minus Isabella’s most loyal friends and another friend who would later leave after saving some screenshots. James talked to Isabella, who deflected behind her autism and adhd diagnosis, tried to guilt trip James into feeling bad for her, and playing the victim, saying she did nothing wrong. James (who was probably 3 years younger than her, mind you) was trying to make Isabella see that banning someone from the server behind their back was not ok, but she freaked out and stopped talking. Now, we’re all still dealing with the fallout from this situation, but about a week or two ago, a mutual friend of Isabella and I told me that Isabella wanted to talk, and she wanted to feel less betrayed. Now I feel really bad, because I acted pretty abruptly, but I really don’t know. Yammy and my other friends think I’m in the right, but our mutual friend says I betrayed her and left her in the dust. I really need an outside opinion.

AITA?

(sorry for the incohesive mess)

What are these acronyms?

[we-are-inevitable]

au where davey gets married to his boyfriend (who is kind of a dick) right out of high school, but his self esteem is so shot that hes like. ok this is probably my only time to get married. sure. lets do this.

and it works for a few months. davey plays it up. he has a shitty little one bedroom with his husband who never cooks, never cleans, rarely talks to him when theyre not in the same room- but davey understands. he tries to, at least. davey knows he’s not the perfect husband. he’s not as attractive as he should be (he goes to the gym often and hates what he sees in the mirror), he’s not a perfect student (he’s an honors student with a 3.9 GPA), he’s not the perfect husband (his cooking is mostly hit but rarely miss)— he’s not perfect like he should be, so it makes sense that his husband- Oscar Delancey- doesn’t like spending time with him.

davey isn’t perfect. but davey is also a student who works hard. davey, who didn’t have many friends in high school, joins a study group in his chem lab and meets a boy who goes by Racetrack. race has a boyfriend named Albert, and albert has a friend named Jack, and jack has a brother named Charlie and suddenly they’re all spending time with each other all the time. davey is undoubtedly the only introvert in the group. he rarely talks, he’s soft spoken, he doesn’t really have any opinions on anything. he doesn’t talk about his husband.

one night, they’re all hanging out, and davey gets *hammered.* he’s staying over at race’s house anyway- oscar is out of town with his brother, so davey can actually have fun and stay out and get drunk, since he’s not allowed to drink at home. oscar says he’s loud and annoying when he’s drunk. anyway, davey gets drunk, and talks about his relationship, loudly, and talks about how oscar thinks he needs to lose weight and needs to drop out of college and needs to stay at home and stop going out with his friends, and davey says these like they’re normal.

everyone else in the group is immediately on the same page. they don’t tell davey to leave oscar, they know that wouldn’t work, but,, they start complimenting him more. they start focusing on him. talking about his accomplishments, jack especially. (jack being the friend who is like “ugh slay im in love with you ill make out with you right here right now” but he means it and davey doesnt know he means it). they do this until davey starts to believe it. they do this until davey is sending daily fit checks in the group chat. because for a long time he was the only one who didn’t send any. they do this until davey starts buying clothes he actually likes, until davey starts showing more skin, until davey starts experimenting with his style, despite the fact that oscar doesn’t like it. they start doing this until davey comes clubbing with them and actually has fun.

they start doing this until davey cheats on oscar and loves it.

and davey understands that he’s a bad person. he knows he’s being terrible. but its also like . Wow I’m having fun. I want this. This is a bad thing to do and I am a shitty person but I want this.

i haven’t decided how long i want it to last. maybe davey cheats with one person and immediately tells oscar he wants a divorce. maybe davey hooks up with multiple people over the course of a month (or three) before dropping the ball on oscar. it doesn’t matter, right? because oscar doesn’t even pay attention to him, doesn’t kiss him, doesn’t hold him, doesn’t want to be intimate with him— it’s only natural that davey ended up cheating.

with jack, probably. after the first guy, davey probably realizes that he wants jack, and his paint-stained hands, and his brown eyes, and his smile and his giggle and all of the good and bad that comes with it. starting a sort of relationship behind oscar’s back but never labeling it, until davey reveals that he wants a divorce and is immediately kicked out. davey moving in with jack instantly, and when they’re in bed together that night, jack asks davey to be his boyfriend and davey says yes. because why wouldn’t he?

why wouldn’t he?

he’s finally happy. jack doesn’t hurt him, jack doesn’t think he’s less than. jack doesn’t berate him. jack cooks him dinner and jack buys him little gifts- even before they started fooling around- and jack spends time with him and jack talks to him and jack loves him. jack likes it when he gets riled up. jack listens to him ramble on about his special interests and asks questions because he wants to. jack likes davey’s rough side, davey’s mean side, davey’s bitchy comments, davey’s strong will, davey’s hills he’ll die on.

jack likes davey. oscar doesn’t. and thats all it takes for davey to leave and finally start living.

[ihavenolife346]

Don’t Forget Me PT.2

Pairing: 1998/2002 James Hetfield x f!reader

Warnings: Cheating, swearing, and crying

Characters: James Hetfield, Kirk Hammett, Jason Newstead, Lars Ulrich, Francesca Hetfield, Y/N

Summary: James never meant to fall in love with a woman who wasn’t his wife. They fell in love…but knew they couldn’t be together as long as they wanted too.

Requested: Yes, one of my friends asked me to write a second part so here you are babes:>

Link to part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/

“Hi pretty girl.” His voice rang through her ears. Even though it was 3:18 in the morning in France, Y/N was wide awake now.

She could never mistake his voice…she never could. “J-James.” Y/N, shot up from her bed. It’s been 4 years since she had left…4 years since he told her his wife was pregnant. Y/N honestly never did expect to receive a call from him ever again. Though that never meant she stopped thinking about him. Somehow, no matter where she was, who she was talking to, who she was working for, he always lingered back into her mind.

Y/N heard James let out a loud sigh, “god you have no idea how happy I am to hear you.” Y/N found herself lightly giggling at his expression. As happy as she found herself being that he called, she was still wondering why he was. As bad as Y/N felt about it, she was hoping he was calling because it wasn’t working with Francesca anymore. But if he was just calling cause he needed a friend, she was ok with that too.

“Yea…it’s really good to hear you too James. What’s wrong?” Y/N could tell he was bothered by something. Even after 4 years, she could still read him like a book.

“Can I not call you cause I miss you?” James slightly teased, visibly relaxing at the sound of the small giggle she let out.

“You know what I mean James.” Y/N tried her best to sound serious, unable to contain the fact that she was really happy to hear from him. Y/N remembered exactly what she wrote in the letter she left him. She was being serious when she told him if things didn’t work out, or if he ever just needed a friend.

James remembered just how stubborn she was. When she had a question, she never stopped still she got the answer. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said in your letter.” James’s voice was hardly above a whisper.

Y/N softly smiled. That sentence gave her what she mainly wanting to know. “And?” Y/N pushed on.

James took a pause for a second. “Things haven’t been going good for a long time…” James knew he should feel guilty about giving up on his marriage, but he didn’t, he knew it wouldn’t work, and he tired, so he didn’t feel guilty.

Y/N knew it was wrong, but she felt happy the second he said that. “I’m sorry to hear that James.” Y/N tried to sound understanding.

James immediately started busting up laughing, “we both know you aren’t.” James wasn’t even offended.

Y/N started laughing as well, “can’t blame a girl for trying to make it seem so.” Y/N heard Dave groan next to her. Every tour, they always shared a room when Jordyn wasn’t touring with them.

“Shut the hell up Y/N.” Dave grumbled, throwing one of his pillows over to her bed in attempt to hit her.

Y/N grumbled, “one second James.” Y/N didn’t even let James respond before she took the phone away from her ear. “Shut the hell up Dave, you’re fine.” Y/N snapped back playfully, earning the finger from her friend before he turned back around to go back to sleep.

James felt his heart stop when he heard a man’s voice in the background. Was Y/N seeing someone? Was she is the same bed as another man? “Hey, sorry. Dave decided to be annoying.” Y/N snickered.

“It’s ok…who’s Dave…?” James asked hesitantly, not wanting to come off as jealous. It’s been 4 years, he wouldn’t blame her if she had found someone else.

Y/N knew his tone, that was the tone he used whenever something was bothering him or when he was jealous. Y/N lightly giggled at the fact that he was bothered by it. “Oh Dave? Just the guy I work for. Dave Grohl.” Y/N giggled at how jealous James sounded.

“Oh shit,I forgot you were working with them, still are I take it?” The name immediately clicked in James’s head.

“Yea! I have been since I left.” Y/N shrugged. She had grown quite close with the Foo Fighters members over the past few years.

“Y/N….! You know I love you, but please shut the actual hell up please.” Dave groaned, almost fully awake now.

“Fine…” Y/N sighed. “I’m sorry, I really have to go.” Y/N really didn’t want to hang up, but she knew she had stuff to do in the morning.

James sighed, “yea, yea, that’s perfectly fine. Call me back whenever you can.” As much as he didn’t want her to go, he knew it was late for her, and that she had things to do in the morning.

Y/N didn’t want to hang up, “Can you call me again 3:00ish your time? See ya rockstar.” Y/N sighed.

“Yea, yea I will. Bye pretty girl.” James felt a small appear on his face. It felt so good to hear her voice again.

__________________________

“Soooooooooooo.” Dave came up behind Y/N, making her almost choke on her sandwich.

“D-dude!” Y/N choked, slightly jumping. “You scared the shit out of me!” Y/N playfully slapped the guitarist.

“You gonna tell me who you were talking to last night?” Dave blew off her other comments, a grin on his face.

“How’d I know this was coming.” Y/N giggled.

“Well you woke me up at like 4:00 in the morning, so yes, yes it was coming.” Dave hand a snarky grin on his face. “Welllllllllllll?” Dave drew out his question.

Y/N knew she had no way out of this. “God damn you…fine.” Y/N grumbled, watching Dave grin from ear to ear. “So…you know that I guy I told you about from San Francisco?” Y/N started, getting a nod from Dave.

“Yea, the guy you were with but ended things cause his wife was pregnant.” Dave remembered the story word for word.

“Well I got a call from him last night…” Y/N hadn’t taken their conversation out of her mind ever since she woke up.

“Based on how much yapping you did, I’m going to guess it went well?” Dave teased.

Y/N couldn’t help but smile, “yeaaaaaa, he wants to see me again.” Y/N sounded like a little girl with her first crush.

“How much time do you need off?” Dave didn’t even bother asking to already know what she was wanting.

“Oh no, it’s ok, I can just tell him that I can go see him at the end of the tour.” Y/N didn’t want to miss any pay she could get.

“Payed leave, you never take vacations, you deserve it. And I can tell you wanna see him. How long do you need off?” Dave remembered the stories she told him about who she claimed to be the love of her life, he remembered laughing his ass off when he found out it was James Hetfield.

“Maybe a week and a half?” Y/N knew she wouldn’t win this.

“I’ll put you in for two weeks.” Dave got up to get back to rehearsal for tonight’s show.

Y/N knew he would t let her talk him out of 2 weeks, “thank you Dave!!” Y/N couldn’t wait to get James’s call tonight.

__________________________

Right on time, the phone rang, making Y/N practically run to pick it up. “Hi!” Y/N spoke the second she picked up the phone.

“You sound happy.” James smiled.

“I am…” Y/N trialed, “quick question.” Y/N added.

“What’s up?” James wondered. He wasn’t too worried about the guys getting mad that he was on the phone, when he told them what happened the night before they were all perfectly fine with him calling.

“Can you pick me up from the airport ok Friday?” Y/N grinned. She found everything she needed, flights, hotel, all she needed to know was if he could pick her up or if she needed a car.

“Wait, you’re coming on Friday??” James wanted to make sure he heard her right. Him and Francesca were already sleeping on separate beds, he could always get a hotel for a few nights to see Y/N and to get away from her.

“Dave gave me two weeks off, wanted to make sure everything was cool with you before I booked it.” Y/N couldn’t get the smile off her face.

James didn’t even have to think about it, “yes! Yes! Book it. Do you need money?” James hadn’t felt this excited in years.

“Ok! I’ll book it, I’ll be in San Francisco Friday afternoon at like 2:00 I think. And no, I don’t need any money.” Y/N giggled. She remembered how he always liked to make sure she was taken care of with whatever it was.

“Ok! Let me know the flight details and when you land then.” James felt like a little kid on Christmas.

“Yea, yea, I will! Ok well…I’ll see you Friday!” Y/N couldn’t believe she could say that now. She was seeing him again. “Oh! What’s your cell number? My phones weird overseas, doesn’t show me your number. Just so I can text over the flight info.” Y/N asked.

“Oh yea, of course. It’s *** *** ****.” James hadn’t wiped a smile off his face ever since she picked up the phone.

Writing down the numbers, “ok! Well I’ll text that over to you once I get booked, and I’ll text you sometime tomorrow. I have a busy morning.” Y/N once again didn’t wanna go, but she knew she had too.

“I’ll let you go then. I bet it’s late. Um…I can’t wait to see you.” James still hadn’t processed that Y/N was going to be with him in not even 3 days now.

“I can’t wait to see you too James. I’ll text ya tomorrow.” Y/N grinned.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.” James had never wanted Friday to come faster in his life than now.

[eggyrocks]

gnawing at the bars of my enclosure i loved the ch ending. ur works r so great keep it up. also do u happen to have tanaka n kiyoko relationship lore theyre so silly *twirling my hair and twiddling my fingers*

hehe im giggling the couple of all time okay here we go

tanaka’s first words to kiyoko were literally: “hi im tanaka ryuunosuke you’re very beautiful i think i am in love with you”

and all she could do was blink before yn was hitting him upside the head and dragging him away with a bunch of apologies directed at kiyoko

from that day on tanaka would not stop talking about kiyoko

he brought her up at least once a day

and at first everyone thought it was just a really intense crush

but tanaka kept insisting it genuinely was love at first sight

when yn and kiyoko started hanging out she didn’t tell tanaka

it’s not like she lied to him or anything

he just didn’t ask ok

tanaka was so betrayed though when he found out

“why didn’t you tell me you’re hanging out with my future wife?”

“because you say freak things like that”

whenever kiyoko did show up around him he was trying his best to act completely normal and not nervous at all

which consisted of him clenching his fists and sweating and repeating over and over in his head “be normal be normal be normal be normal”

and then kiyoko would be like “hey what’s wrong with your friend”

“he’s an idiot”

kiyoko did not think much of him at first except the occasional “that sweaty guy is staring at me”

she was sort of confused as to why he was always so nervous bc she didn’t really think he had anything to he nervous of

she did think it was sort of endearing though

not that she ever said it out loud

yn and kiyoko got closer and yachi got closer to them too and then even nishinoya started to get used to kiyoko and was more chill

not tanaka tho

nope

butterflies in his stomach every single time he sees her throat going dry head getting hot

she just always has that affect on him

and then when kiyoko started helping out with the band it actually sort of became an issues

because he would get so nervous around her that he literally forgot how to play the drums

the band was like “my dude you have got to get a grip”

then one day at before one for their earlier shows tanaka was showing signs of being crazy nervous and kiyoko said to him “don’t be nervous. you’re a great drummer”

and that just changed everything

because she thinks that of him?? she thinks he’s a great drummer???

he’s not about to disappoint

tanaka might’ve gone too hard that day he broke three drum sticks

but kiyoko told him he did a great job after

so it was worth it

tanaka would always go out of his way to try and impress her

drumming skills: “hey kiyoko watch me play this fugazi song…..okay wait no…wait let me start over i fucked up…..shit…”

strength: “hey kiyoko do you need help carrying that” “no” “are you sure it looks heavy” “this is just one of nishinoya’s pedals”

knowledge: “hey kiyoko did you know that you burn more calories drumming than you do weight lifting” “cool” “yeah”

and tanaka was way too in love to notice but kiyoko started smiling more that the things he would say

and would listen more intently

and start to ask him follow up questions

yn and yachi knew immediately when she started having a crush on him

they both thought it was very cute

and would lightly tease kiyoko abt it

but ultimately told her tanaka would be a great boyfriend and would be very sweet to her

like he already is

kiyoko knew she would have to be the one to confess because tanaka never would

he would just continue to be completely obvious about his feelings

but would never actually do anything about it

but still she was nervous

even though she was sure she wouldn’t be rejected

she chickened out the first three times she planned to confess

and on the fourth time

it actually turned out yachi and yn had had enough

and what do you do once you’ve had enough

why you lock your friends in a storage closet until they confess their feelings !

in a weird way, being in the small dark space made it a bit easier for her to admit her feelings

so she did

and then it took about ten minutes to convince tanaka that he was not dreaming

once he did bro was on cloud nine

for him the honeymoon phase has never ended

he’s so in love with her and every day he wakes up he feels lucky to be with her

and kiyoko loves him more and more every day

they’re gross together

so sweet to each other that it makes everyone else roll their eyes

tanaka got kiyoko a hoodie that says “i prefer the drummer” and she wears it to bed almost every night

they’re soulmates :)

[avatrice4l]

DEAL WITH THE DEVIL

What if…

Ava, who was stuck on the other side was being brutally tortured by Reya. Now Ava is getting punished for trying to escape for the hundredth time and it’s truly hitting her… no one will be able to reach her… no one will be able to save her… and she won’t be able to get back to Bea. She was running out of hope. But as Ava is about to give up, the Halo gives out one last final push of power making it back home.

Julian was working on the machine when a blast of energy hits inside of the lab and her machine was flickering, as if it was giving off a message. “What the-” Julian cut herself off a grabbed a piece of paper. The machine was given short and long pauses. “MORSE CODE” Julian shouted, making sure to watch closely.

On the paper:

•••• • •-•• •—•

H E L P

•- •••- •-

A V A

••• •••• • •••

S H E S

•- •-•• •• •••- •

A L I V E

__________________

That is all Julian had gotten from the message because it just started repeating. So she immediately contacted to OCS and they got their to inspect the situation. But Beatrice wasn’t their.

________

Once Ava was gone for the first 4 months, she couldn’t do it anymore. She revoked her vows, and left OCS with a broken heart. She was in the lowest part of her life that she as ever been. She was filled with hatred that enraged inside of her.

One day, Beatrice got so drunk in a bar and got herself thrown out by the bouncer, into an alleyway. She sat up, starting to cry again wanting Ava by her side again.

“Everything alright?” A voice faintly spoke.

“Get away hobo, I’m not broke! I just got kicked out of the bar” Bea drunkly said.

“Then why are you crying?” The voice spoke again

“None of your business! I just- I miss her” Bea let herself begin to cry again

“What is your deepest desires,Beatrice?”

“How do you know my name-”

Beatrice looked up, and saw a pair of red eyes. She swallowed the saliva in her mouth. She knew exactly who this was.

“Y- Y- Y- Your the D-D-” Beatrice kept stuttering and couldn’t make out the words.

“The Devil”

“Oh Shit” Beatrice quick got up and dashed off

“Do you want her back? Ava, I mean of course. She is the one that is your deepest desire.” He spoke

Beatrice stopped in her tracks and turn to look at him. “Don’t you dare say her name, your just a deceiver and a manipulator!”

He began to giggle, “oh my my my Beatrice, you are a feisty one. I see why Ava took a liking to you. However, she’s still alive.”

“What are you saying devil!”

“She’s alive, but she’s slowly getting to her end. I can feel it.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW?!”

“My dear Beatrice, I am the God of Death after all… would you like to save her?”

“H-H-How would I do that?” Beatrice was vulnerable. She wanted Ava back.. no fuck that she needed Ava back.

“Make a deal with the Devil” He smirked at Beatrice but was honest.

“And why would you want me? I don’t get it why me?!”

“Why not you? You want something that I can give you, and I want something from you.”

“Which is what huh? You give me Ava and what do you get out of this?”

“I want you to be my reincarnated Lucifer.” He smirked once again

Beatrice thought for a minute, if she does this she just sold her soul to the Devil… But she does get Ava back

“Tick Tock your running out of time Beatrice, we’ll I mean Ava is running out of time, she’s close to death”

Beatrice stopped thinking

“OK OK, let’s to this! No turning back, I NEED HER!”

“Your wish is my command, Beatrice” He bowed at her then lighting shot from the sky.

————————



[such-a-barbarian]

🚄 w e e k ly 🌊 t a g ✨w e d n e s d a y ✈️

Thank you as always to @mybrainismelted and @jrooc for the tags!

_____________________

Name: Kell

Age: mid to late 30s

Location: the great white north!

we're going on a trip!! woot woot!

📍where are we going? Seeing as this time next week I will be Mexico, let's go early!

📍whats the weather like there right now? Warm and Sunny!

📍are you an over-packer or a light-packer? oh boy - chronic over-packer! Why do I need 10 pairs of underwear for a 7 day trip when I will be in swimsuit 90% of time? I DON'T KNOW OK! 

📍are we taking a plane or a train? I don't think you can get there by train and if you could it would take far too long. Plane it is!

📍early morning departure or an overnight trip? Seeing as there is no time change between here and there I prefer early morning. If there was a significant time change then I'd prefer overnight.

📍what song are you playing in the car while we drive to catch our departure? Probably whatever is on the radio.

📍we need to grab something on the way, starbucks or dunkin? Neither. I don't drink coffee. But since we are on an early morning flight I am stopping at McDonalds for a McMuffin and a hashbrown

📍we've made it to the transportation place 🚂✈️! be honest, are we on-time or are we rushing because we're running late? on-time. In fact, I am probably over an hour early. Being late gives me the most anxiety. If I'm not somewhere at least 10 minutes early I panic.

📍are you taking the window seat or the aisle seat? Window for sure. 1) I love watching the world get small. 2) I need to know when we are about to hit the tarmac.

📍we're settled in our seats, are you gonna read or watch a movie/show? Unlike my trip next week, for this pretend trip my kids aren't with me, so in that case I will be reading.

📍what are you reading/watching? So much fanfic. I currently have 92 fics on the "marked for later" list, so probably one of those.

📍are you using wireless or wired headphones? wired. I do not own wireless headphones. Actually, I'll be lucky if I can find my wired ones before the flight...

📍are you going to take a nap or stay awake? Chances are pretty good I will fall asleep at some point.

📍do you want a salty snack or a sweet snack? both?  Yes. (excellent choice Jess)

📍we've arrived! are we heading straight to activities or are we gonna rest at the hotel? Head to the hotel just long enough to drop the suitcases and change into a swimsuit, then it's immediately to the beach for me.

📍finally, pick a treat to reward yourself for a travel day well done! Something fruity and slushy and alcoholic with a tiny umbrella.

Also including this picrew! Forever in a hoodie.

tagging @francesrose3 @juliakayyy @tanktopgallavich @transmickey @babygirlmickey @zutaralesbian @lupeloto and @krysmiss if ya wanna.

[omentranslates]

Owari no Seraph chapter 136 english fan translation

Hi how are you. Do you wanna read a fan translation of the new ons chapter? Because I have one. You should totally also read the official from here though!

There was some promo material along with the color page I translated this time too.

Color Page: To save Everything, that's the ambition he's imbued into his sword.

Owari no Seraph chapter 316: God Resides Within Them

[Transcription of the OnS half of the following volume 32 ad page]

Knowing the truth only strengthens their desire for a path to salvation!

To bless the souls of all with forgiveness...Yuu* and Mika's fight begins!!

Having found out the truth of his own past, he's set his sights on "delivering salvation unto all in existence." His first step has been to pay Saitou and the vampires a visit and attempt to discuss with them...!?

-[chapter starts here]

Shikama: Yuu, hurry up.

Saitou: Urd!!! Do NOT let him get to the First!!

Ky: ....holy shit.

Lest: We're gonna get caught up in it too if we don't get out of here!

Shikama: Shit

Urd: O Sword.....CLEAR THE SKY ALONG WITH THE FIRST!!!

Yuu: I can tell that's bad news just by looking, what do we do about it?

Mika: Hmm...

Yuu: I wonder if we can just...tank it?

Mika: No shot, tanking that would kill us. And even if we lived we'd have been knocked too far away.

Yuu: Oh yeah, too far away to hear what the First has to say. So what then?

Mika: Mhm....

Mika: Ohhh- I've got it. We've cast curse of you can't kill us on the vampires, right?

Yuu: Uh, no I don't think they're really taking that into account with these attacks.

Mika: Well ok, but maybe that's because we're in the middle of a tumultuous battle now. So basically if we settle down and behave, our curse should go back into affect.

Yuu: Hm...

Mika: So as soon as we hear whatever the First has to say, we should just immediately let ourselves get captured and it'll be fine.

Yuu: Ok.

Mika: Alright, we've got our plan

Yuu: But how?

Mika: I'll take his attack alone until I hit empty battery, so just toss the sword into it.

Yuu: Aren't you just being suicidal again?

Mika: I'm already dead I can't be. Even if he explodes me I'll just come back whenever I eat some of your desire.

Yuu: That's gonna have ME running on empty, though.

Mika: Yeah it'll probably get you so bad you won't even be able to move, but it's better than dying right now.

Yuu: Sure I guess. Ok, I'll throw you now, then.

Mika: Great, I'll give it my all!

Yuu: *Link sounds*

Mika: *screaming*

Mika: Oh, nevermind I fucked up

Mika: YUUCHAN I FUCKED UP.

Ferid: That's the impact Urd Gilles' sword makes. Must be someone real powerful over there to cancel it out

Ferid: Am I right, My Queen

Krul: He's strong, this isn't Ferid's strength. I don't know if I can win here.

Shinya: Hey....Kureto nii-san. Are you still alive? ...Did you die?

Shinya: I gave you your next shiritori kana quite a while ago, can I consider it my win if you died? What would people say if they knew Kureto nii-san had died ragequitting shiritori....

Shinya: Uh??? Kureto nii-san, are you alive? If you really died-

Kureto: Hey.

Shinya: OH SHIT, YOU SURVIVED THAT?

Kureto: Stop being stupid. Let's set our allies loose and then get out of here, Shinya. And no dawdling.

Shinya: I know.

Yuu: I'm so hungry oh my god, this must be empty battery.

Yuu: Ok, First, I'm here! What are we talkin' about!?

Yuu: Oh, you're see-through! Wh-what the hell happened???

Shikama: I'm...being eaten.

Yuu: Eaten!? Wait by who?????

Shikama: By humans.

Shikama: I couldn't have imagined a human with enough power to do this...

Yuu: I asked who though????

Shikama: There's no time to explain. I need to transfer whatever is left of my magic and power to you before it's all stolen.

Yuu: Wh-

Mika: THAT WAS SO STUPID. I DIDN'T EVEN LAST 8 SECONDS.

Mika: HEY, HE'S SEE-THROUGH!!

Shikama: There's no time. Rigr and Urd are on their way. Before they get here, Yuu,

Yuu: What?

Shikama: You said you had found out how to resurrect Mikaela. Was that true? I've never once been able to do it.

Yuu: It was true. If you teach me how, I can do it successfully.

Shikama: Was I mistaken in the way I've been doing it?

Yuu: Yeah, all wrong.

Shikama: ...I see. But you found where that mistake was.

Yuu: I did.

Shikama: Understood. Then, since my time has run out, it's time to entrust everything to you.

The spell to resurrect Mikaela. The spell to hide this world from Paradise. The spell to destroy Paradise.

Shikama: There is a great price for you to pay for all of these. But still-

Yuu: I have my memories back, I can do it. I'll follow in your steps, I'll resurrect all of the angels.

Shikama: Ha, hahaha

Shikama: You really do surprise me, humans and homonculi both, before I even knew it you've surpassed your creator's wildest expectations.

Shikama: Alright then, I leave what's left of my power to you, who I know less and less what exactly to call.

Shinoa: I don't think so.

Shikama: .....what do you even intend to use all this power for?

Shinoa: For love.**

Shikama: How selfish, an expectedly human answer.

Shinoa: How are you any different?

Shikama: I never thought this day would come...my wish, I leave to the next generation.

Shinoa: I don't know who you were planning to give what to, but now that I have it, it won't be used to hurt anyone else.

Yuu: Ok

The power of the First’s love has been settled in that body....***

Owari no Seraph will be on hiatus next month.

T/N:

*the Yuu they use here is in katakana like they write the Homonculous's name (and how Shikama has been referring to Yuu recently)

**Shinoa uses the word for romantic love here

***changed from what I used to have after being asked for clarification, I think this version makes it more obvious which body they’re talking abt but you can still see the original with the twitter version XP

[caputgeratlupinum]

In which I (re) watch Robin of Sherwood

In the dim and distant past (of a few years ago) I started watching Robin of Sherwood. I dropped out after the end of season 2, when *events* happened (if you know, you know).

Anyway, this to say that I started watching it again, and I thought it would be fun to record my reactions to it. I remember it as being a good if slightly silly show, so... we'll see how it holds up.

EPISODE ONE - ROBIN HOOD AND THE SORCERER (PART 1)

We are starting off strong with the Ominous Bad Guy theme that sent me back to the last time I watched this with the force of a hammer (this show has about five soundtracks and they all come up like once an episode).

Our introduction to adult Robin is him running to the top of a... something, I'm not sure if it's a hill or a ledge or what. Anyway he runs there, stops, and screams 'MUCH!'. Which must be wildly confusing if you're not familiar with Robin Hood.

ITVX doesn't let me take screenshots (tragically) but I need you all to know that Guy of Gisborne looks about twelve and speaks like he went to fancy boarding school.

Hi Will Scarlet I have fond memories of you from last time! And I think this might be the first time he's 'scarlet' as in 'bloody' rather than named for his hair or clothes. Also the second Will tells them his name another man steps out of the shadows to introduce himself like he's desperate to get in on the action.

ROBERT! ROBERT! BY CHRIST ROBERT I WILL NOT LOSE MY FISHPOND! 10/10 introduction no notes. Genius move to give the Sheriff an annoying brother in the form of Abbot (??) Hugo.

Sheriff duties: keep on top of the poachers in the forest, and meet with the evil sorcerer baron and his... possessed slave? I'm vague on what position Little John holds here.

Sorry, Sir Evil Baron (yes I know his name is Simon de Bellame. I'm ignoring that), but I don't believe for a second that your wife taking her own life was nothing to do with you.

Did I mention Marian and Tuck are here? They are! I love them both very much.

I can't believe they that they just leave Rat Man and Arthur behind. I demand a spin-off about what happened to them.

'You're like a May morning.' *climbs out the window without another word* I mean to be fair to Robin if I tried that line I'd probably also flee immediately afterwards.

I really wish I could do screenshots because Herne the Hunter's vision of various events with Evil Baron's face over it all, slowly getter bigger and bigger, is truly a sight to behold. Robin honestly took that pretty well.

The classic bridge fight is very enjoyable but I am haunted by the knowledge of the blooper reel where Michael Praed gets hit in the balls. And Robin's dramatic scream as he falls off the bridge is sending me.

Last time I wasn't really sure how to feel about the Herne the Hunter stuff, and right now I'm in the same place. uhh... stag-man. With vague prophecies. I dunno... 'when the horned one possesses me' ok but who are you when he's not possessing you? How does one become possessed by the horned one in the first place (I know none of this is the point. I just have questions!)

If I were one of the merry men, I would find it easier to agree with Robin's Heroic Inspiring SpeechTM if it hadn't started with him explaining how he's been 'awakened' by a deer-headed man.

I feel like Will saying, 'You should have killed him. You'll have to someday.' is setting up for a conflict down the line where Robin has to make a Choice about Gisborne some day, but I don't remember any such plot.

aaand that's it! I didn't mention every single thing that happened, there's a lot happening in this episode. Genuinely had a good time though! Despite my poking fun at stuff, I do actually like this show.

[richonnesbitch]

I think ultimately the problem for me is not even people being mad at Michonne per se but it’s the time jump of it all that just makes it too much.

*cautiously whispers* I get why they might be mad actually. Because the whole thing with not killing Negan was about being better and thinking of the future and building that better future even if it meant doing something as painful as not killing him and that’s gonna make them stronger and unify them in the long run (see also: the bridge) bla bla bla And actually even if I obviously can’t support how they went about it and all that, I really don’t think Daryl, Maggie and co were wrong either about being pissed at Rick and Michonne. As much as I wanna be you’ve never done anything wrong in your life ever about them… come on. They (well, Rick but Michonne immediately backed him up) completely kinda f_cked every one else over for something they wanted and something they felt was necessary and something they needed to honor Carl… Idk, I think it’s fair that the others are like ok we get that but sorry f_ck that, that’s not what we agreed on, that’s not why we went to war for etc etc… So they started this thing with Negan that they (well, Michonne) then drops and stops when sh_t hit the fan. And she then gets to be yeah all that communities kumbaya sh_t f_ck all that I’m done… when they kinda were the ones who started it. As much as I get (from their perspective) why they did what they did and then stopped… I also get why from everybody else’s perspective it seems, if nothing else, at the very least, selfish! And why that pissed everybody off.

However the thing that screws it all up for me is the time jump. Because you’re telling me it’s 6 years later and no one made any effort to fix the situation? And that all of that anger is still placed on Michonne? With a time jump that long that makes no sense. Because if it was that important to everybody they should have had an agreement between all the other communities and just leave Alexandria out of it etc etc. But they did none of that. Just stayed in their own respective corners and blamed everything that went wrong for them on Michonne. And yeah, that makes no sense.

Being mad at Michonne (and before that, Rick and Michonne) makes sense to me! I may not like it but it does. In theory. It’s how that storyline was executed where they lose me. For it to be the way it still was after 6 years, if nothing else, I would have needed more info on the whole situation because yeah, after 6 years, am I looking at it like… and you’re still this mad at Michonne/this is is Michonne’s fault because…??? GTFOH

(That was just my more rational, objective side talking really because I’m team Rick and Michonne have never done anything wrong in their life actually idc idc 😎🤪)

I'll never understand the writing team's decision to keep Negan around. The worst mistake the show has ever made! Besides killing Carl. Actually... keeping Negan around and using Carl/Judith to try and redeem Negan are their top two worst decisions lol. He will never be redeemed in my eyes. Really, he's not even a good villain. Even if they had successfully redeemed him he still wouldn't be a thrilling villain. Like... you want me to fear a man who makes dick jokes? OK! And regardless... he's just not a very good character in general. Boo hoo hoo I cheated on my wife who was dying with cancer 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and I named a bat after her that I used to ruthlessly kill hundreds of innocent people in front of their helpless families 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 boo hoo hoo 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺