#ok I’m legit writing this at my desk at work I gotta do work stuff now agaahahaahahrhfh

[whump-queen]

hi hon! it's been a little while, I hope you're doing well! 🫶🏽

- 🐘

hey love <3 I am doing okay!! my god— between working 6 days a week and @demondamage crashing through my front door and to taking over my house for an entire weekend (more on that later…) i legit haven’t even had time to look at my notifs—

but today when I get home Ill hopefully have the time to actually sit down and properly answer my asks and messages that I have been hoarding~

you are all so wonderful for continuing to follow and interact and send me stuff even though i’ve been less online lately !! please keep sending things! I love you! a bitch is ffuckwn busy but I love you and plan to set aside time and spoons to be able to give messages and asks the attention they deserve and answer you properly!!

[herotheshiro]

so i reread all of behind the desks today lol bc i was thinking abt it last night as i was going to sleep, and also fully read through the epilogue chapters which i don’t think i had done before. which means i read through all of the plot points all at once this time around. i think my thoughts for this readthrough might end up being the length of a regular post so i’m just writing up a new post instead of reblogging my old review of this manhwa. obviously spoilers for the story below the cut

again i like this manhwa mainly bc of 2 things:

i like the juxtaposition of young’s obviously manipulative language with taesung’s innocent language that also sounds suspiciously the same. obviously you know taesung has positive intentions and isn’t a controlling freak like young but it’s such an interesting way to depict the aftermath of an abusive relationship and the difference in intentions despite the same words even though in retrospect that probably wasn’t what the author was trying to do. unless... ?

sunny seo as a character!! on the surface he definitely seems to fall under the standard BL uke tropes of being clumsy and looking pretty and stuck in a love triangle as the shared obj of affection but from the very beginning you already know he’s not a pushover but he just seems like that bc he doesn’t really have or express strong opinions. a lot of BLs tend to have the shared obj of affection be like oh nooo i can’t pick bw the 2 of them... but i mean from the start sunny doesn’t want to be w young and his fear of backlash and change is what motivates his secret-keeping from taesung... also throughout the story they imply that he’s a good match for taesung who canonly likes action stuff by being someone who actually likes high-energy activities/vibes. tl;dr sunny is generally a good character who also has a lot of foreshadowing done for him to reveal aspects of his personality that contribute to the story

anyway onto my thoughts that i had during this specific readthrough

jaeyoon. anyone who read my prev review for this manhwa knows that i had beef w how they used him during the conclusion to young and sunny’s relationship. i now realize that maybe they DID actually give him a face reveal during his wedding when young and sunny split off to chat with a friend each and the friend who spoke to sunny was actually jaeyoon himself... BUT YOU GOTTA FUCKING SAY THAT!! i suspected they were the same guy bc of the hair color and them always hiding jaeyoon’s face until that “random” moment where they give this character who looks like him a face but like i was never sure... no offense to the author or anything but i think you have to put in-text that it’s jaeyoon and not assume readers will know based on your art that it’s him... there are too many side characters who show up so it’s not like we’ve ONLY seen taesung/sunny/young so far so now this 4th person who shows up has to be jaeyoon... i mean maybe other readers ID-ed it as him w no issue esp since he shows up being like ‘dude...’ when that other friend is like ‘well jaeyoon was in rehab and stuff’ but i personally think it should’ve been mentioned in-text esp since that face reveal wasn’t nearly dramatic enough to 100% capture readers’ attentions.

otherwise i think the fact that jaeyoon and taesung are similar is a great plot point. jaeyoon was clearly the only friend in that group who saw young and sunny’s relationship accurately so i’m glad sunny had at least one GOOD friend then. jaeyoon is implied to be someone who takes care of others similar to taesung (even if it’s only sunny he dotes over the most) too. other than young’s general possessiveness of sunny, them being similar also explains why young saw jaeyoon as such a threat. but yeah unfortunately i still don’t think it was handled as well as it could have been.

young’s explanation for his behavior towards sunny... i hesitate to say it was the standard “villain redemption” but tbf i think it was a good explanation for his actions even if it felt a little too clean of a conclusion (young letting go of sunny so easily and also apparently realizing and accepting how damaging he was to him). i say it’s partially redeeming bc it shows that young was kind of trapped in such a specific and damaging way of thinking abt life that it affected how he treated sunny but it’s also not really redeeming him bc like. be normal man lol you don’t have to be like that to others.

separate but related note but young’s mindgaming of taesung... when he was like oh everything abt sunny seo you like is bc of me... like DAMN that’s evil and good (writing-wise). although the thing is that young and sunny also haven’t interacted apparently for 5 years so i mean you do have to realize that by the time taesung reunites w him, sunny has developed enough of an individual personality so it’s not ALL young’s shit. 

in my last review i said i felt like i wanted more of young and sunny’s history... tbh i think they gave us enough actually. all we really need to know is that they’ve known each other for a very long time and that young manipulated sunny enough during an impressionable time (young age, college. ppl know how college can be lol) that sunny felt that young was the only one for him. i was actually surprised jaeyoon’s story/details came up so quick in the story (i think it showed up in the 1st half of the manhwa) but i think it was a good point bc the story had to move on to the middle/2nd half of sunny and taesung trying to get their relationship to work. past me was also apparently looking for this scene in the bar apparently where young explains his “reasons” to taesung lol

not really much to say this time abt the hosung x young endgame. still don’t think they should’ve done it or had hosung have unrequited feelings but whatever i guess. tbh i didn’t really realize/connect until this time around that hosung actually was in freelancing art/publishing which was why taesung had him look at sunny’s work lol... i think last time that part in the epilogue hadn’t been translated yet so i just didn’t have the room to make the connection maybs

the epilogue ending... so i actually never read the epilogue ending or at least its eng translation, and i was like hell yea at the full circle shit w sunny being like ‘oh the cherry blossom petals are falling just like when i first met taesung in the infirmary’ but then the ch kept going w taesung and sunny on the beach... idk i think ending it literally at sunny being like ‘w you i feel alive’ was such an abrupt ending... like maybe if they added another panel of them smiling at each other it could’ve been fine but if the author was running low on time i honestly think they could’ve ended it at the scene of sunny accepting his contest award

also when sunny was like ‘yeah lol all my classmates at the children’s book program also get sick all the time’.... i was like bruh this author is prob speaking from actual experience lmao

the other thing abt the ending that was a little random was the quick aside abt taesung’s mom being against their relationship... i mean it was a reference to the mom wanting taesung to get married in the main story but then they dropped it and then suddenly brought it back up again... randomly adding that taesung had a sister who was his contact w their mom... like i get it, it wraps up the loose end of his mom but wow i was uh ok random ch abt potential family conflicts. also where are sunny’s parents lol but that would’ve been too much to get into too regardless of homophobia or not lol

overall it’s still a pretty solid manhwa. stuff proceeds at a good pace and the conflicts/misunderstandings make sense. i said before it’s kinda like a love triangle but it’s really not which works w me bc i don’t like love triangles that much (they stress me out lol); it’s also good bc young is clearly toxic for sunny and it’s good that sunny knows that rather than sunny being like “oh i know he’s bad but also... hmm maybe i can overlook it”. the manhwa’s not perfect -- i still get the sense the writing could be better even if i can’t really enunciate why -- but enough details are tied together that there’s nothing major i have to extrapolate bw (like i can overlook the jooyeon mishap even though it legit threw me off the 1st time i read through). also yes i know the manhwa is based off of a game w characters essentially already established but my understanding is that the author/artist essentially had to write up a lot of the actual story themselves even if they had a general plotline provided to follow

also the final author’s note abt the author personally preferring fucked up stories... when i started rereading i was like wait isn’t this the same artist for that one manhwa where the characters look like the k!lling st@lking? mains and even if i didn’t remember i would’ve realized w that author’s note lol. i think fortunately for them that sunny isn’t an entirely “pure” character so they had enough room to make him a little more twisted.

[mikkock]

Uhm??????? Unacceptable?? Please tell me more about your OCs in that last art? I demand it? I want a full report on my desk before morning? Cite your sources please?

Oh no,, you’re asking,,, about my own faves,,, sorry to everyone, but I guess im never going to shut up ever now. (i already don’t shut up ever, what have u done, im now going to speak so much that society will collapse AT LEAST)

But for real. I enjoy pretending I don’t have faves, I love all my kids the same, buT WE ALL KNO THAT’S A LIE, those two my fave bitches (they snatched that title from the last two faves, rip to them, and they also snatched, n I must really make that clear, the title of “the bitches with the most AUs from the previous previous faves. Their power.)

SO. Get ready for a ride, table of content: them, their respective character, their story, and the pLETHORA OF ALTERNATE STORIES I GAVE THEM because i must yell about all the versions of my kids i have (non-exhaustive cause its that serious bro, but ill take extra time for the universe depicted in that art just for u bby). (tbh if clamp is allowed to sprinkle their fave gays in all their universes so am i, except they aint secondary characters there, every story is just theirs. love that concept.)(itll be so long you’re getting a whole novel even if i have to post it in two posts)

So~ Em twos. Dari n Wei-wei as I call em, or Dumbass n Egg if you wanna get friendly.

They’re my proudest instance of “oops i made a squad of characters, and two of them just accidentally were so perfectly compatible and complementary oh no I guess they’re in love now.” And then they became my favourite. Cause I guess their potential was too much (jk its bc they hot)

cuties.

I spent ten minutes wondering which to introduce first cause dang son, I want to talk bout them both so much shefjgfdg

First, as I technically designed him first (like ten minutes before the other), my man weiwei. if u ever saw my art its impossible that you havent seen him at least once. cause i’m legit always drawing him. cause im in love bro.

Demonstration : here are my computer scribbled weiweis of 2020 so far (with a few daris there n there they’re a package deal), that i could find, and they do not include all the paper sketches that i’m too lazy to take pics of. (i just been drawing him with so much hair these days that’s illegal, his brand is baldness)

But anyway, he’s CHEN Chia-Wei, he’s 21, he’s Taiwanese n I love him. Two very important facets of his character when you meet him: he doesn’t talk, and is absolutely, in every single dimension, built to make you fall head over heels for him.

He’s (in the “canon” storyline if i may call it that since it’s def not my most developed one but oh well) an art student, mostly paints but is also great at photography and videography (his vibe is busy hectic pieces with strong bold colours, lots of harsh edges, and very people focused).

Aside from that, he’s also super into fashion, and because he’s part of the rich boy squad (the “im broke so im giving half my characters wealth in compensation) he Can and Does exhibit some quite funky fits when he feels like it. (maybe a reason I draw him a lot, since my fave thing is pretty boys in weird ass clothes)(and then i also draw him in just casual shit cuz tittiful men in plain white tees you know. there’s just something about it.)

Small compilation of outfits. ft me and my band handwriting roasting outfits that id also kill to own but ok u know.

He digs music. (i make playlists for my OCs and i gotta say, his is the best one, i spent so many hours researching it, “arranging” it etc n its still a work in progress but dude. she got many moods my fave part is when it suddenly turns into so many cheesy ballads also she’s enormous cause im as wordy in playlists as I am in writing.) listens to a lot, n also he can play piano n guitar. cause you know. heartthrobs got to win your heart with a song (and if he’s alone he can even mumble some songs, who knows maybe even sing em softly, definitly a sight to stumble on accidentally). Big main artists that have his vibes are Hello Nico, No Party for Cao Dong, n Circa Waves’s “what’s it like over there” album.

He does a lot of sports. He ain’t fit through magic, rip to him. He’s got a serious routine, and it’s a time he likes to use alone, cause nothing like running at the break of dawn, alone with your thoughts, which you can just easily forget through the exhaustion of a workout session afterwards.

he also eats. A lot. Food is just good, bro. (the canon story is def happening some place europe aka his biggest struggle is how expensive food is here. outrageous.)

He secretly loves super cheesy movies. the dramatic romcoms??? the cute shows that are just so cute and worriless?? anything involving soulmates??? yeh dude. he watches it, he reads it, he listens to it, and he may cry about it, but no one will know. That’s the one true guilty pleasure. (and he definitly has a collection of romance dvds, books n manhuas in his old room back at the family home. where no one can see it. perks of studying abroad. no one can see ur hoarding of material that clashes your image. “yes i watch edgy experimental things haha yes i love those smart people movies of course wow the philosophy…” and then immediatly goes to watch the trashiest predictable but oh so sweet dramas all night)

While he doesn’t speak (as in with the mouth) he can communicate in a bunch of language, due to having moved around quite a bit. On top of his native mandarin and hokkien, he’s fluent in English, so he can use those to write, and is also fluent in TSL, and pretty good in HKSL (and from that, other close-in-syntax sign languages). So he doesn’t have trouble getting around, but then he is also overall quiet in public (with close friends and over text though, that’s another story, that’s where he gets chattier, and also where you may get more of his true personality). Also, he can speak with his sister. That’s pretty cool bro.

I was going to say he’s a very “hides his true colours under a shell” type of character but you know, for an egg character, that’s pretty ironic. We love poetic cinema.

He presents himself as a very laid back, chill detached dude, going with the flow and all that great stuff, and masterfully mixes just the right doses of mysterious, flirty and calm to just go around vibing. But ain’t that jUST THE MILLENIAL’S ILLNESS, those dANG KIDS, going around, gettin relationships but never intimacy 👏😢 (there’s more to it dont leave)

First of all, before you see the Drama, the Turmoil, the first thing you notice when you really do befriend him is that he’s c h i l d i s h, he gets sulky when things dont go following the plan, he gets whiny n jealous for not getting attention , he gets competitive over stupid challenges, and way too playful if you start teasing, and when he gets flustered too…you think you get cool stoic dude but actually you get a dude who’s reacting to things with way too much intensity, and boi i thought u were gon be mature what’s that why have you been pouting for three days over losing a bet come on- That’s mostly coming up when he interacts with his sister, but the closest you are to him to more of it you get to see.

He’s also an affectionate dude actually. Like physically. As in you’ll get spontaneous hugs. He’s come nap on your shoulder. That’s a perk of befriending him if you ask me.

Also he tries to look so cool, so tough haha. He’s actually a lil sensitiv boi. he gets fluffy, he gets flustered, he heart eyes. you turn around and he’s gazing at ya as if you were the whole universe. he gets a mini crisis for holding hands with his crush. ya know. he’s secretly a softie.

nerd.

Then in the “what he doesn’t show” (my fave part), where you stock all the anxieties, all the trauma… Obviously there’s a lot of anxiety here (selective muteness being a symptom of it, he hides the other ones very well) mostly fear of inadequacy, of abandonement and of loneliness. mmmmmmmaybe that’s why he was v reticent to continue pursuing that one guy he was into when he realised he was just a tad too into him oh no is that some,, like?? some lovey-love?? cant have that im afraid of gettin heartbroken bro. Aint that sad for a someone who’s one true goal is just findin someone to love and to be with forever, the struggles of yearnin for a soulmate when there’s nothing you fear more than getting attached to a person and letting them see you and your flaws.., delicious.

Now tho (because its so alone speaking about a character on their own and i just wanna get to the part where i can speak bout em together and how they bring out bits of each others ya kno, the good kush….), Dari…

He’s pretty, i must say, and got the funniest hair to draw, and comes from the most opposite background to weiwei’s.

Darian Andriev PARVANOV, also 21, comes from the remote Bulgarian countryside, but i still love him (this makes it sound as if i wouldnt normally love someone from the bulgarian countryside. its not what i meant. by default ud remind me of my son so you’d start being liked if u came from the bulgarian countryside) Now for the first instance of “wow, the complementarity”. The first thing i thought making Dari was that he looked too cool, and that he obviously was a dumbass, and mostly that he was physically unable to shut up. (o fuck he’s me)

best picture i could find of him. He’s got the dilemma of “wow he looked so pretty n cool until he opened his mouth” 

He’s ALSO an art student (cause they were initially created for the purpose of filling the gap of “i have ocs in every field except the one i sorta know that’s so stupid”), painting major (def vibes differently than weiwei though, he’s doing those soft pretty landscapes n flowers, everything real pretty and peaceful, we got some impressionism nerd in here folks). 

He was/is a real country boy, farm family, he helped tend the fields, he worked in plantations for pocket money, he knows how to take care of cattle and chicken and goats and all the cool babies you can take care of, he can tell whether the soil is good or not, he can drive a tractor, and doesnt fear dirt.

but then also he’s kind of a neat freak, he hates getting paint on himself, so the duality of man, dirt ok but paint? disgostin. his spaces are real neat and spotless, he likes cleaning (its relaxing) and does it nearly too often.

his dumbassery comes from lack of common sense and impulsiveness, aside from that he’s actually what you’d call “mad smart”, dude had em good grades, he can memorise pages upon pages of the most trivial information, he has an accumulation of knowledge beyond limits, and is good at problem solving. so he can recite all the words of the F letter of the dictionnary, but would also put a curling iron in his mouth to see if it would curl his tongue. (side note, he does have a problem with heat n fire, most his “oopsie how i wound up hurting myself on acccident” story involve burning -that stove was just too tempting…)

while he doesnt feel very attached to his home country, he does feel strongly for his family. he’d do anything for his mum (and actually does everything to make her proud already, that’s his one main goal), and he’s ready to sacrifice a lot for her (as in, spend years working non-stop a really uncomfortable job so his mother wouldnt have to pay a cent of his expenses even though she said she could by doing some sacrifices herself,and then being ready to come back as soon as needed if anything happened, and potentially drop his career and dream n go back to the farm life to provide for mama)(also he still does hold onto some parts of his home country’s traditions, and does sometimes feel homesick but more in a ‘i left the most beautiful landscapes n the city feels cramped and claustrophobic and i dont know people and i dont feel in the right place cuz im a forreigner with a thicc accent who doesnt master the language of this place and straight up have different body language communicators due to cultural difference oh lord i wanna be home where a nod means no and a head shake is yes i keep misunderstanding everything”)

if you want background noise he’s the perfect pal to call over, he’s just so chatty, he got hours and hours of non stop speech ready for you. you can shut him up once you’re done listening with the offering of food. works everytime.

he’s definitly not shy. neither in terms of talking to people, nor when it comes to making decisions. he’s quite bold, and rarely hesitates to go towards something he wants. he’s direct in his approach to most everything.

he likes partying. mostly the socialising part, talkin to people is just fun ya feel. and being in the crowd, doing whatever, pressure free? ya can dance n enjoy yourself, and people wont notice? yeah that’s nice. but doesnt do it super often cause broke bitches aint got the party time n budget. 

he likes arm. (just an excuse for me to drop this thing here cuz i like it)

While he’s an overall bubbly looking character, with a cheery loud personnality, he does carry some youth trauma that has him more reticent to engage in happiness, he comes from what you could call “not the wokest background” and he may have fallen victim of it : he’s kind of a flashy noticeable character, both physically and in his personnality, and doesnt exactly matches the expectations of dudes in the area he comes from (delicate, emotional and sweet guy? that doesnt exist bro). He went through it, and it has definitly had some impact on his confidence in many aspects. But he’s 100% the type of guy to put on the fake happy front because if feeling bad is sad, making the people you care about sad for you too is Unacceptable Right??? relying on friends?? what???

But then what are we supposed to be doing with such charming characters huh,,, 

Make them fall in love obviously.

Their story obviously has to do with falling in love and workin a relationship cause if I dont write romance i literally die, but I make the center pivot of all of it communication, and barriers in communications. Most obvious being them coming from wildly different cultures, having different native languages, and also the ways you adapt to muteness (what i love most bout that part is even then they fucked up given the easiest quickest small body language things to communicate are head nods n then i managed to make one come from the one country that reverses those like iconic how do they even understand each other -through a lot of work and love bro) but also on more “introspective” points, how to say things that you are even afraid to think about, how to open up and share your burdens and trauma with someone, how to say words you’ve been convinced you weren’t allowed to, the inner turmoil of communication in short. And then also communication through art, and through alternative unusual ways. If i were snobbish i could call it something like “a thinkpieces on how humans overcome obstacles in communication, and adapt, all for the sake of pursuing love” but fact is its mostly boys being in love n learning how to speak, figuratively and also quite literally. And also its me having fun with making characters evolve from each other, be able to influence each other for the better, helping each other be more comfortable with themselves and express the true things of their personnality, and discover new aspects. I just wanna write intense and soulful love bro.

So in less concept and more facts, weiwei meets dari, dari being his puppy self just immediatly strikes a conversation and weiwei gets interested cause “oho nice pretty boy? very good. i want some of that”. they get closer because you cant fight off the Power of friendship (and also the power of “what your friend is bestie with my friend?? guess we hanging out”) and then friendship and interest turns into pining, held back by respective dread of what romance with the other would mean (as in “romance?? cant have that we cant feel” and “with him?? cant do that, convince yourself he’s just a friend immediatly what would the family think”) but eventually they do have to just crash into one another cause that’s just the gravitational pull bro, its physics bro. and from then on its all unlearning destructive behaviours, bettering oneself with the help of the other, and getting over trauma to finally live ur best life. and gettin fckin married bro they’re both cheeseballs theyll wanna wed

BUT MAKING EM FALL IN LOVE ONCE ISNT ENOUGH time to make 3894853 alternate universes about em.

Lets speak bout my fave of those for a hot second.

First of all, the one of the art that brought this ask, guess i could call it “Pretty Tribes” AU, bunch of tribes live and do their things, having nature and energy powers. Dari n Weiwei’s tribes are bros, the latter’s powers needing them to move around to get energy from different places, enabling them different abilities. So basically they get to hang at the other’s place while the regenerate energy from there, and in exchange they help them out with various tasks (dari’s tribe is a rly farmer oriented one, with plant magic, while weiwei’s got more poyvalent powers, and have very good healers notably, so it comes in handy). The two boys were born a few months apart in their respective tribes, so naturally, anything the two clans meet, they’re put together to play and all, and from that they became besties, and each time they meet, after the gaps of time separating the two groups, they feel more and more of a little something else~ story is themed round growing up, friendship between clans, their traditions and cultures, and pretty boys in pretty clothes in pretty landscapes interacting with nature.

The superpower AU, i fuckin love it bro. Its an old one, made for other characters, but i just love it so much that i had to inject my faves in it. Its got a grimy ugly setting, bad government, propaganda, and fights between super-people (heavily mediatised for entertainment and reinforcing the idea that “look at these evil villains thank god us the good government protects you from them”), with a side of bad ethics in science. In all that, those two have the role of “those two young enemy warrior and villain, they were so powerful and fought so hard”, public figures, legendary and admired by both sides, everyone followed their fights, til one day they presumably died in one of their showdowns. (haha sike they actually found themselves talking for 5 seconds and realised they lived in a society, n built a plan to run away). The main characters get to find they’re alive because one of em had history with super-warrior-golden-boy and go to seek their help to overthrow the Big Bads. (stealing them from their nice gay cottage hermit life smh so rude)

Mermaids. I like those. Sailor weiwei sees merman dari, they both save each other in different occasions, they grow fascinated with each other, they’re at sea, water romance. Amazing. AU made half cuz i just like water n fish. and shirtless sailors.

(i couldnt find art of it in five minutes so have a link to that lil animatic piece i made of it once)

Indie band AU, where i was listening to songs that vibe so well with those two in general n then my brain was like “what if they’re the ones playing”. They’re (along with the rest of the art squad) a nice little alternative rock band, doing their thing, then one of their songs blows up, and they get quite the attention, to the dismay of dari who wrote that song in a moment of “oh no im so in love with my bandmate but i cant tell him what if i ruin everything we have going on ill just have to love from afar and deal with that” and now has way too many people interested in who he wrote it about and theorising from his every move when performing it (a mix of music, secret crushes and social media) (ft a picture of neither of them but its the least ugly art i found of this AU cuz its old and instruments are the bane of my existence)(also kelana is so pretty i gotta flaunt her around)

in kind of the same vibe, as in we’re in a music world overexposed to social media, i also integrated em to an AU i did for fun, “boyband AU” as its called aka idol based band system cuz you kno, i got a hobby, lets apply it. Band boy Dari and bodyguard Weiwei got a thing going on, but can’t really act on it in any way, because they’d just destroy the whole band if it ever came public. Featuring annoying bandmates, catchy pop songs and people making fanaccounts of that one hot Mr.Bodyguard cause dang he hot.

(all the art of this one so ugly im sorry)

SPY AU, one of my fave brand. They spies, they get assigned on the same mission, they work real nice with each other. spies hot. fights. strategy. i just like the concept. Gays taking down the worst traffics imaginable??? I love that song.(i actually have so much on this cause s p i e s are fuckin great)

Fashion. U kNOW i have an AU for fashion. Supermodel and his private stylist, trying to maintain the line of professionalism. And failing to do so. Lets make out in unpractical designer clothes.

Have an highschool AU for a bunch of characters, injected them as “spinoff”, start chatting online being art buddies, fall in love without meeting (ft. all the iconics of internet friendship like knowing tiny details of their personnalities but not the fact that they have a sister or “waIT ur a GUY i thought u were a girl wow wild good news for my gay ass”)

n those are my faves as far as i remember, i got a fuckton of small other ones that arent fleshed out enough, or some that are more of a guilty pleasure universe, and some that are more like “projects that i can expend on as soon as i run out of daydream material” (like u kno those hospital drama shows with super innacurate medicine n shit like idk scrubs or whatever, yeh i want some of that but im keeping it for later)

[enchantingkittengaditor]

The MCU’s Daughters: Shoebox

A/N: This is a Prequel, to my new story The MCU’s Daughter, inspired by Brie Larson’s album Finally Out of PE. Invisible Girl was merely the inspiration for this piece and if lyrics are seen it’s probably just me listening to the song about 100 times writing this and editing it.

Summary: Long before she was the MCU’s Daughter. Before they were the Internet’s Daughters. They were just teenage girls trying to fit into a new system, a new country and a new school. Before all the fame and success two teens first became friends and teammates.

Warnings: Mentions of Depression, Anxiety, Epilepsy, Violence, Extreme Angst, Fluff

November 25th, 2016

Simone

“Happy Regionals Day!” Tegan said as she walked into the classroom.

“What do you mean Regionals Day?” I asked as Tegan sat down next to me.

“I mean every one of our classmates except for a few are at athletics regionals today. So it is just four of us in yr 8 and we get to be alone. No teachers!” Tegan said to me going up to the whiteboard and writing ‘class plans: nothing,’ on it.

“So do you want to watch movies or play games?” Alexandra asked sitting down in Miss G’s chair.

“I vote conspiracy videos,” I said.

“I vote you actually do some school work,” Miss G’s assistant said coming through the class door to grab her folders for the day.

“So if we do an hour of school work we can do whatever we like for the rest of the day?” I asked her.

“Yes.”

“Sweet,” Hamish said taking his seat.

“So it’s just you four in here everyone else is going to the other classes. Don’t rub it in. And maybe edit some videos,” she told us all.

“That last one counts as schoolwork. So we can watch raw footage and put it together and film a video of today and then we can watch videos and play weird games for the rest of the day,” Tegan suggested.

“And we can have meetings at the desk,” Alexandra added on.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Once we’d watched raw footage of us all in Wellington enjoying ourselves. With comments such as ‘we have to include that!’ and ‘no! No, we can’t include Miss G swearing at a wall! Can we?’ it passed the time till morning tea. And after that, we dissolved into playing games.

“OK! Hamish, bed, wed, behead, Saskia, Indy and Scarlett,” Alexandra asked.

“Uhhh… Kill Scarlett, Marry Saskia? And Bed Indy,” He said very scared.

“Why?” I asked him.

“Well, Scarlett’s horrible, Indy seems the most down for weird stuff and Saskia is the nicest,” Hamish said, “Now Tegan. Celebrities or people we know?”

“Celebrities, definitely,” Tegan responded.

“OK, Brie Larson, Scarlett Johanssen or Tom Holland?” Hamish asked.

“Kill Tom, Marry Brie and Fuck Scarlett. Because Tom is a twat, Brie is Brie and while Scarlett is a questionable person she is Natasha Romanoff and I mean,” Tegan responded almost too quickly, “Now, Alexandra, Celebrities or people we know?”

“People we know, I want a challenge,” She told Tegan.

“Hamish, Lachie and… Xavier.”

“Kill Xavier, Fuck Lachie and Marry Hamish, easy,” Alexandra told Tegan, “Simone, celebrity or people we know?”

“Celebrities.”

“The Marvel Chrises.”

“Fuck Hemsworth, kill Pratt and marry Evans,” I told her instantly.

“Well this is fun and all but I have to pop to the loo,” Tegan said closing her computer leaving the classroom

“Should we snoop?” I asked them.

“Yes,” Alexandra said, “And before you say anything else 2 against 1 Hamish.”

“Cool, what does she have in her emails?” I asked, “Who’s Donte?”

“I don’t know but let’s call him and find out.”

November 25th, 2016

Tegan

“Who are you guys?” I heard the familiar voice as I walked into the classroom.

“Hello Donte, my friends stole my computer and are skyping you,” I said walking toward the computer.

“That’s odd, you have friends?” He asked me back.

“Yes, I do. I’ll let them talk though I have some songs to work on,” I said waving to him.

“So…” Simone started as they asked him a thousand questions.

I sat down at the big computer with its piano keyboard and started trying to recall the keys for Shout Out To My Ex, that we were recording after lunch and tried to start singing.

“This is a shout out to my ex Heard he in love with some other chick Yeah yeah, that hurt me, I’ll admit Forget that boy, I’m over it I hope she gettin’ better sex Hope she ain’t fakin’ it like I did, babe Took four long years to call it quits Forget that boy, I’m over it,” I sang to myself in the corner.

“Guess I should say thank you For the “hate yous” and the tattoos Oh, baby, I’m cool by the way Ain’t sure I loved you anyway Go ‘head, babe, I'ma live my life, my life, yeah,” Alexandra joined in from across the room.

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never bring me down Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down,” Both of us sung in unison.

“Oh, I deleted all your pics Then blocked your number from my phone Yeah, yeah, you took all you could get But you ain’t getting this love no more ‘Cause now I’m living so legit (So legit!) Even though you broke my heart in two, baby (Scoop, scoop) But I snapped right back, I’m so brand new, baby (I’m so brand new!) Boy, read my lips, I’m over you, over you, uh,” Simone sang while Donte looked confused with Hamish.

“Guess I should say thank you For the “hate yous” and the tattoos Oh, baby, I’m cool by the way Ain’t sure I loved you anyway Go 'head, babe, I'ma live my life, my life, yeah,” Donte sang from the other end of the phone call.

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never bring me down Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down,” We all sang together, even Hamish this time.

“You’ll never bring me down, yeah,” Hamish sang.

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down, ooh,” I sang

“Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man (You’re quite the man) You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now Well, I’m, I’m all the way up, I swear you’ll never bring me down (You’ll never bring me down) Shout out to my ex, you’re really quite the man (Eh-hey-eh) You made my heartbreak and that made me who I am Here’s to my ex, hey, look at me now (Won’t you just look at me now?) Well, I’m, I’m all the way up I swear you’ll never, you’ll never bring me down,” We all sang together as some of the yr 7s came in.

“(Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh) Yeah, hey, oh (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh) (Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh) Oh, Nah, Nah (Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh, oh) You’ll never bring me down,” We finished.

“That was so much fun, but I gotta go. Dinner time. But you should definitely post that song on youtube, maybe remake the video,” Donte said to all of us as the year 7s stared at us as if we were insane.

[apprenticebard]

How can I make more money like you?

An important question!!

So to start with, I am not a person who has Figured Things Out. I got lucky last year - my friend recommended me for a job in a very high-wage area (specifically, San Francisco’s tech industry) that I happened to be a really good fit for, and that happened to be willing to hire people on a trial basis if they were promising, even if they didn’t have college degrees (’cause I still don’t have one). And that was really good for a while, until some stuff happened and I kinda got eaten. Now I’m unemployed and looking for another job; I think I’ll find something comparatively good again, but I dunno how long it’ll be, and right now I’m looking at both moderately high-paying content-writing jobs and jobs that pay around minimum wage (which is a lot here; nothing pays less than $15 because the bay is lowkey insane), in case getting another really good job takes longer than I’d like it to.

But anyway! Obviously there isn’t a super easy way to make lots of money that’s going to apply to every anon who could possibly have shown up in my inbox, but here are some general pointers:

1) Even if things are going really well for you, you’re gonna tend to make less than most people while you’re early in your career. This is difficult but how it is. It doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, and you might be on track for a great career in a few more years, once you gain more experience. If this is where you’re at, I think the best way to make more money is to work on leveling up at your current job, or looking for a different job of the same kind that either pays better now or will probably allow you to level up faster. It’s good to take on extra responsibilities when you have the time and energy to do so, especially if they use a lot of skills you do have, but also a few skills that you’ll need to figure out as you go along. 

Note that I do think that this advice is less actionable outside of the bay (which is full of startups that are growing rapidly and trying new things). I do think there’s still something to it. If you gain skills and responsibilities as well as you can, I think that even if your current job doesn’t recognize that and reward it, you’ll be building up skills that’ll make you more desirable the next time you change jobs.

2) Say you think you’re in a really good industry, and you know that other people in your industry make decent money, but for some reason, you’re not. Or, alternatively, say that you have a lot of skills and some work experience in a decent industry, but you can’t get anyone to call you back, and you’re beginning to wonder if maybe you’re secretly terrible and have zero Good Employee Qualities.

Getting a new job is hard, and leaving an old job is scary. I know; I just left my old job, and I spend lots of time being scared that nobody’s gonna hire me and I’m gonna have to go back to working at Kroger again, where I only made it through cashiering shifts by imagining that my characters were being tortured and that I could only save them by making it to the end of the next hour. 

But it really does pay to look at what else is out there. You can get some ideas by very casually looking at job sites like Glassdoor or Indeed; there might be nothing, or a bunch of job postings that you don’t understand, but I’ve found that it’s often good to get the lay of the land and figure out what recruiters are looking for in your industry. If you want better odds, and you have some successful friends, it can pay to ask them whether their companies are hiring for a position you can fill, and whether any of them might like to recommend you for it.

If you don’t have an easy way to get your foot in the door, you’re gonna be filling out a lot of applications. This sucks, but it doesn’t mean that you suck. If you really feel like you’re qualified for the sort of job you want, get someone to help you put together a good resume that shows off your skills, put together a portfolio or similar if you’re in the relevant industries, and resign yourself to applying to dozens or maybe hundreds of things. Recruiters are super arbitrary and will totally disqualify you based on things that have nothing to do with your ability to do the job. (This isn’t even because they’re bad people, it’s because they have a stack of resumes on their desk and have only the faintest idea how to tell which of the associated candidates are gonna be good at things.) It’s a numbers game. If you’re not doing something really ridiculous, like applying to every job with a resume that only lists completely unrelated kinds of work experience, then someone’ll probably talk to you eventually. It’ll just probably take way more applications than you’d think.

(Oh, also, all of the requirements in job postings tend to be pretty silly; as long as you think you’re genuinely capable of doing the work, I think you should apply to jobs where you meet maybe 75% of the stated requirements if the job sounds OK, and maybe 50% if it’s something you’d be really excited to get to do.)

3) If you’re not in a career sort of job at all - if you’re stuck behind the counter at Wendy’s right now, in which case my heart goes out to you, anon friend - or you’ve found yourself in a career that pays very badly or makes you unhappy, and you don’t think your skills will translate to anything you like doing, then you might want to look at changing careers entirely. Most people will tell you to go to college, if you haven’t already. I’m gonna tell you that college is a great thing for lots of people, but not always a good idea financially, and not always the best way forward, especially if you’re not very academically inclined. 

Think about what you’re good at, and think about what your dealbreakers are. You’re approaching this from thinking about money, not about passion, but you still don’t want to end up in a job that you’re a terrible fit for; you’ll get fired or be miserable all the time, and that’s no good for anyone. 

As a first line, if you feel that you’re reasonably flexible and talented, here are some very different jobs that make good money; you might want to consider whether you’re a good fit for any of these, and do more research as appropriate. (This is largely an exercise to get you thinking, not to say that these specific jobs are the ones you should definitely be looking at.)- Nursing. There’s a perpetual shortage of nurses, they have to exist everywhere in the country, and they make at least decent pay no matter where they live. For an RN, you’re looking at an average of about $55k per year in the cheapest states, and about $90k per year in the most expensive ones (although remember that this isn’t what you’ll make at the beginning of your career). I don’t recommend it if you really dislike people, long hours, college classes, heavy lifting, or bodily fluids, but I do think it’s a career that a lot more people should be willing to consider. If you think you can hack the education part, but not so much the heavy lifting, the bodily fluids, or the being around people who might be dying, dental hygienists make about the same amount, and their patients hardly ever need to be carried anywhere while possibly dying. I think.

- Software engineering. The pay rate here is kind of insane; if you have the interest and aptitude, then doing a coding bootcamp and getting a programming job in either NYC or San Francisco is a relatively attainable way of making a genuinely six-figure salary within a few years of starting, even if you don’t have a college degree. It’s not for everyone - I’ve tried to learn, a little, but I’ve bounced off pretty hard so far - but it’s a great opportunity for people who can hack it, so to speak. Like nursing, there’s a shortage here, mostly because software is a rapidly expanding industry that has only existed for, like, forty years tops.

- The skilled trades. We’re talking about electricians, mechanics, plumbers, carpenters, and other people in this space. It’s hard in different ways than an office job, but there are a lot of people who these are a good fit for. While they’re not as highly paid as nurses or engineers, people in the skilled trades do OK; reaching $50k per year is totally feasible, and people who are both skilled and lucky can break $80k. These jobs tend to go by apprenticeship systems, so if you don’t have a family member or friend to vouch for you, it’s a good idea to look at trade schools in your area to get you started, and then expect to spend several years in a junior position until you know what’s what.

- Flight Attendants. Not all flight attendants are particularly well-paid, but many are, and things like waitressing can be counted as relevant experience. The first flight attendant job I found on Indeed just now is $18 an hour and doesn’t require any experience or a degree, though the requirements do have a lot to say about your appearance, height (gotta be able to get luggage out of the overhead compartments, after all), and willingness to work really weird hours. The BLS reports that the median flight attendant ultimately makes about $56k per year. 

- Police officers. Obviously there are a ton of very legit reasons not to want to be a police officer, but I am of the opinion that someone’s gotta do it, and it’s better if the people involved wanna do it right, right? (I guess I don’t know if you want to do it right. Please don’t become a police officer purely for the money and then shoot someone, anon.) The median police officer makes about $60k, and it doesn’t require a college education, which is honestly a pretty good deal even if you’re not as passionate as Judy Hopps. I don’t recommend it as a job unless you’re not scared of people, even the creepy ones, ‘cause scared people make mistakes, and when police officers make mistakes, sometimes people end up dead.

If you read that list and were like, “Bard, there’s a reason I’m at Wendy’s, can you lower your expectations here a little,” you might want to look into stuff like warehousing, groundskeeping, janitorial work, sales, garbage collection, or construction work. Job sites are your friends; it’s useful to browse them and see what sorts of jobs pay the kinds of salaries you’re looking for. I also think you might be well-served by considering whether you can move in with friends or family in a part of the country where wages are higher. The big cost of living difference in other places is rent, so if you have a housing situation figured out or can split that cost with a friend, you can make a lot more money just by doing the same thing somewhere else. For example, before I got super lucky and became a Real Content Writer, my plan was to hang out on my friend’s couch for six months rent-free, work at some supermarket in SF, and then take my wages back home to Indiana to pay for the rest of my degree. And honestly, if I hadn’t fallen in love with this ridiculous place and hadn’t immediately gotten a much better job, I think it very well might have worked.

There’s a lot more that I could say here, but this is already pretty long. The main things are to think about where you’re headed, to look around at all of the different possible lucrative directions to head in if you don’t like where you are, and to figure out what steps you’d have to take to get there. You’re welcome to come to my inbox with more questions about this - my last job was all about helping people find jobs themselves, so I guess I should know something about it by now - but you might need to be a little more specific if I didn’t hit on the thing you’re stuck on in this post.

[cptn-stvngrntrgrs]

TAGGED BY @natalierushmn ILY <3

5 things you’ll find in my bag - the holy trinity: my phone, wallet, and key case. ik these are three things but i count them as one bc i cannot leave without one or the other - laptop - power bank and chargers - water/snack - lip balm or hand lotion - but mostly only when it’s cold

(i usually don’t bring a bag when i don’t have class. i just have my phone/keys/wallet in my pocket or a small handbag lol)

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom -- (im gonna talk abt my dorm room instead xD) - my tangled tapestry + ravenclaw flag - stevenat shrine - those dorm beds that is 80% covered with plushies - UHHH i have basic dorm-issued desks and fridge ;-; lol tbh my room is bare - a not-so-CLEAN chair (SORRY GAIL) but i have one (1) chair and i’d have a jacket or the clothes i’m wearing for the next day folded there. BC I HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO PLACE IT ON (i swear i’ll show u guys a pic of my dorm once it’s....... acceptable to look at lol xD)

5 things I’ve always wanted to do - i want to do a split. like a legit split. even just once. idc if it hurts. i want to do the s p l i t -date???? go on a freakin’ d a t e ???? disappointing, right? <--- this is gail’s answer but im not even gonna change that bc same --> HONESTLY AT THIS POINT I WANT TO EVEN JUST HOLD HANDS WITH SOMEONE - use a damn planner. literally. even just putting stuff on my calendar. bc im so busy rn but i still don’t use it i am a clown - learn how to drive bc commuting is basically a myth here in the middle of nowhere ohio, unlike socal or manila where i can always ride something - sleep like a normal person. deadass. it’s almost 5am and i am still rock n rolling here on tumblr

5 things that make me feel happy - WRITING FANFICS IS TOP 1!!! i love getting prompts from yall and writing them bc i like that i’m writing for someone and that also applies to those who read it and it makes me happy when i make this fandom happy like it really is a great honor <333 - sleep. i am happy when i am sleeping. idc where, idc when. im just always down to sleep. - MY DOGGY NAMED SIMBA HE’S A GOLDEN AND HE’S FLUFFY and sadly he’s also in manila so i miss him but i LOVE HIM SO MUCH OK - so by extension, being home in manila makes me the happiest :(( - eating ramen. drinking boba. eating kbbq. the little things :’) - reading fanfics; watching catws. or any stevenat interaction for that matter

5 things I’m currently into - this is controversial but i am very into draco x hermione fanfics rn. my cousin got me into it and im hooked. idk how and why but. it just happened. one minute i hated draco’s guts then i read one fic and my mind was blown. then i was in. but dw bc stevenat is still my #1 - harry potter in general. i’m new to this fandom and im still at the ‘everything is wonderful abt this’ stage - making spotify playlists for different things/moods. this is fun!! - traveling!!! i have this urge to go everywhere - skincare facial routine?? haha

5 things on my to-do list - eat healthily!!! i either eat 2,000 calories in one sitting or not eat at all. yeah i gotta fix that - stop BEING LAZY. sometimes i just want to DO things without hesitating or being lazy - DO MY DAMN HOMEWORK OR ACTUALLY STUDY. school is starting TOMORROW and im officially a 2nd year in college - i gotta get my shit together - finish my wips. i keep adding to them (i have a multichapter in the works :o) that it takes me so long to finish one lol (i either write one in one sitting or take weeks lol) - exercise. i already walk a lot on campus but i really wanna get into lifting weights so lets see :’)

tagging: @crazyaboutto, @superbcap, @makeprocrastinationyourbitchblr​, @unholyromanoff​, @avengrz-mcu​, @romanoff-danvers​, @gomustanggirl16​, @pico-bogue + whoever wants to do it <3

[thestudyfeels]

As I’m writing this, I legit have just three days left till my winter break ends. However, by the time this post goes live on my blog, I’m hella sure that this challenge will be completed on my side and I’ll be ready to slay at school. With that said, if you want to know the secret of how I get ready for school after a break, then keep on reading. Next semester? Get ready to be conquered.

I would recommend downloading and printing off the PDF file of this challenge if you want a proper checklist that you’re about to slay.

To note:

This is a challenge. Don’t simply read through this post. I dare you to get all of these things done before your break ends.

It doesn’t matter if you’re reading this while it’s your spring/summer break. Just because this post was made during my winter break doesn't mean that you gotta wait till winter to try this out. All your need for this challenge is a few days to get your shit together and a break gives you the time to do that.

I’ve purposely put a few more things than needed in this list because - a) It’ll encourage you to get your lazy ass off the couch and hustle more (I see you) and b) Long Is the New Black (ok, I stop).

Obviously, if your break ends in like two days and you legit have no time, go ahead and get those tasks done which look important to you.

I’VE  DARED YOU! Let’s do this (always remember, actions speak louder than your words).

clean the living crap out of your room

I mean it. Look around and you’ll probably find your test papers from 3 years ago. You can play the clean up song while you do this, I won’t judge you.

Change your bedding.

Do the damn laundry.

Sort out all papers - assignments, test papers, maybe even old grannie letters to your homie, all go to their places.

Dust yo’ desk, cupboards and drawers - I know you have like one inch of grime on every math book because you haven’t touched them in years, lmao.

Give! Your! Space! A! New! Look! So important. I’ll hands down say that this one is the game changer. You can go ahead and give your room an entire makeover (shift your music to Mr. Kate’s theme song now, lol) or just simply rearrange the pen stands on your desk.

Bathe in the glory of having a clean room, like, yay you.

clean the living crap out of your computer

Downloads folder. Holy heck, sort that ish.

Delete files that are not needed.

Make sure your screen isn’t full of small files. Folders were created for a reason.

Make new folders for the next semester’s classes. Go further by making sub-folders for different units too, so that the next time you gotta save something, you don’t leave it in the downloads folder next time (hasn’t that folder suffered enough?).

clean the living crap out of your online stuff

Clean your inbox down to zero.

Reply to emails, if any.

Social media accounts. Delete the unnecessary ones. You probably still have your vine account, lmao.

Reply to social media messages and delete those pesky spams while you are at it.

If you run a blog, clean out the inbox and messages too.

You just killed it! Let’s move on now.

kill your academic work

ah, the good ol’ learning.

MAKE YOUR NOTES, YOU DUMBHEAD.

Check your school’s website to see if Miss Honey sent any surprise (so annoying, I know!) assignments.

Complete your homework on time because you probably just chilled on the Friday school closed and left it for the weekend (and didn’t do it then too, lol)

If you have any exam coming up, start prepping!!

Make sure everything’s ready, whether it’s your notes, assignments, whatever. Realizing you have a mock test on the last day (also probably set by Miss Honey) is the quickest way to get a heart attack, scientifically proven. (And you thought your ex breaking up with you was bad? Oh, hun).

other stuff to try out

Try learning new things! Being off from school gives you a lot of free time (seven hrs, precisely) so instead of playing Mario Kart, use it well.

Try out projects you’ve always wanted to try out. Maybe it’s a crazy idea like starting a YouTube channel or just beating your friend at Mario Kart (I mean, a lil Mario Kart does no harm..), it’s worth a shot.

Make a badass playlist! (btw, you can also check out my soundcloud account, #plug).

Do a booty pop! You’ve conquered this challenge, and boy, you should be damn proud. Conquer your next semester and make yourself even more proud.

Well, that’s it, it’s a wrap! If you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there, feel free to send in a message! My other og posts are here and to request one, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you all are well, stay strong and conquer life, you conqueror.

- nandini (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[hardwarevent]

Maybe not fuck dating sites?

Oh hey, so guess who has actually been getting dates, because guess who has been doing it wrong kinda? So there is a metagame to dating sites, and I'm slowwwwly becoming more aware of how it goes. For pretty much all of them it goes "Like", then they "Like" back, then you message, then they message back. It's all about the action and response.

I actually went on a few dates with a girl! I got to do the side-arm wrap while we watched Friends on my couch! We went drinking for St.Patricks day with her cool friends! And then I didn't talk to her again because I didn't feel like it and she had 0 affinity for video games or anything remotely geeky, and since that's most of my persona we didn't really have anything in common. But I got there! Kinda! And that's what matters!

So I still need some experience with the actual driving of stuff because she made like literally all the moves cuz I guess I was her type (I'm a type? What type?? I'm someone's type???) So it was like no effort moving stuff forward. But I'm talking to more girls! One of them reminds me of a girl in high school that I'm still friends with but if she actually did stuff? And made decent money? And pushed herself out of her shell? Which is promising. We're sending these fucking enormous messages back and forth and I'm trying to slow that down so I can be like "hey you wanna meet up" but that's going well. Maybe I can push her into getting a sense of wit or humor though, shes dry as a desert. Shes got the desire to change and improve though, which is important. We will see.

Also there's this other girl who was cute and liked my profile and she was like "what's the deal with waluigi?" In her profile and of course I fucking had a bunch of shit lined up for that one. Where that one is currently is I was like "hey wanna try out *gamer lounge* this weekend?" And she was like "sorry I can't my car is broke and it needs this esoteric part and I can't do stuff until next weekend" which, it's hard to tell if that's legit what's going on and I could be like "oh I have a car I could pick you up and do stuff", or it's a "I got stuff going on this weekend" thing, or a " I blew it and I'm going to keep saying next weekend until you get the hint" thing. I'm actually leaning towards the first one, but I'm still wary towards being too eager? And finding ways around all of her issues. So I think the right move is to be like "yeah ok next weekend for sure", so I'll do that.

So yeah, that's the dating life update. Real life update? Uh so I was sick for a while. Still got runny nose and phlegm I'm coughing up constantly. Dunno if that's ever going away. I went to a spin class yesterday. The lady was like "you gotta challenge yourself!" And I was like "raaaaa challenge myself!" and I challenged myself so hard I puked. But in the restroom after leaving during the cooldown so it was ok. Uhhh hackweek was this week at work, a week where we work on whatever but I worked on something shitty and I didn't present cuz it was too shitty especially compared to the stuff like 40 other people did. So that was whatever. I just couldn't get into the spirit. Uhh what else. GDC was last week. Did some stuff for that. My parents visited so it was cool to see them. My stocks fucking sucked these past few weeks so I'm like only a few percent up from where I was when I started like 10 months ago. I might be more aggressive and do stock options like calls and puts and straddles and iron condors and accidentally lose all my life savings probably, but I haven't decided yet. I have some money I use that is currently in $NVDA and have been selling covered calls for with that stock as collateral, so maybe if I fuck it up intentionally and have to sell the stock I'll use that money to do real spicy chalupa hours shit.

Also, I feel sick of sitting at my computer all the time? Like I'm writing all this outside sitting on a park bench in this roundabout thats outside my place. Every time I go inside and think about sitting at my computer... I just don't want to anymore. I don't want to play video games or watch shows or stupid YouTube videos anymore. I can barely stand it. I sit at my desk all day, and I just don't want to sit at a computer anymore. Even though it's my job 40 hours a week and it's a job I'm apparently good at even though my shitty hackweek says otherwise. Every day I fantasize about doing crazy shit with my stock money and making like 10 million dollars and using that to buy my freedom. By that I mean the freedom to be owned by no company or economic system. To have enough money to generate enough money ambiently through stocks and dividends and investments to live off of comfortably without me having to do anything. I've done the math, I want around 5-7 million. And then I think about what I would do. And I wouldn't know. I'm a dog chasing his tail man, a coyote chasing a roadrunner. I'll probably never get there, and if I did, I don't know what I'd do. I guess the first step is to get there. I guess the first step is to get a little risky with these stocks. My dumbass harebrained scheme. I'll keep yall posted.