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edenfenixblogs · 8 months

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hey, gentile here. just came across this post of yours and, first of all- it's SUPERB. it showed me a perspective on being a jewish ally that i really wouldn't ever have considered by myself, made me more confident in my choice to put combating jew-hatred above the friendships I've recently lost, and gave me a really useful direction on where to go as an ally to jewish people onwards. that being said, there's a few details about it I'd like to press you about, if it's not too much trouble.

this point is probably worthy of an eyeroll as i'm a culturally christian atheist (making a concious effort to not be *that* kind of atheist), but: when you refer to G-d as the creator of all things, you stress that that includes evil- but that, in so doing, G-d is not evil themself. now, I'm asking this with the express purpose of you correcting me, so: why does this G-d- as a G-d fundamentally distinct from the Christian conception of God as a Super-Mega-Ultra-Perfect God Who Can Do No Wrong Ever- create evil? i, personally, have been led to believe by @/spacelazarwolf that it is simply because G-d, too, makes mistakes just like any human being, but the way you worded it in this paragraph (which I've included as a screenshot below) had me interpret G-d creating evil as a concious, intentional action. did i just not read it correctly? and, if i didn't, then is the reason G-d creates evil part of this central struggle you went in detail into in the same paragraph, and as such, a very individual part of Jewish belief that no two jews agree on? and if that is so, would you be comfortable with sharing your version of it?

a few paragraphs after that one, you dedicated many words to make it absolutely crystal clear that, in the process of unlearning and combating jew-hatred in the society around me, i should, in spite of the vitriol that they propagate, love the former friends i lost to antisemitism. how- and *why* should i love the people who, on an early october 8th morning, actively celebrated the news of a massacre of Israeli civilians? who mocked- and still mock- the survivors and the families of hostages? who wield the memory of the holocaust as a baton against Jewish people's right to self defense? who deify terror groups who are up to their necks in atrocities? who make an active effort to spit on the face of *reality?* How could i possibly look at the face of a friend who chose allegiance to a terrorist group she did not even know existed four months ago over me- who she had actively interacted with for much longer?

would you rather we called ourselves "gentiles" or "goyim?" I've been calling myself a gentile for the longest time because i see jamming a word from a language i don't speak at all in an otherwise english sentence to be disrespectful and constitute appropriation, but you and other jumblr blogs have given me the impression that that is not the case. furthermore- i believe it was @/bambahalva who pointed out the usage of the word "gentile" in antisemitic segregation policies.

that is all- i hope this message finds you well. oh, yeah one more thing- what do you think of The Forward news network? i came across them by chance and next thing i knew I'd gotten into their newsletter.

WARNING: I HAVE FINISHED WRITING THIS AND IT'S LONGER THAN I EXPECTED AND ALSO MORE JEWISH THAN I EXPECTED LOL! I have done the most Jewish possible thing I could do and answered all of your questions with questions. I'm sorrryyyyyy! This is what happens when you grow up surrounded by rabbis and future rabbis! LMAOO

Oooh! What a good ask! I love this ask. OK, so! Let's go in order.

First of all, thank you so much for your kind words. And thanking you for backing your words with the action of prioritizing kindness over hatred. It matters. More than I can ever explain. Thank you.

You know, it's funny. People ask me a lot of questions about i/p that they think will have simple and straightforward answers that just don't. And I end up writing a lot of essays because of this. The questions you wrote me seem like they should be complex, but feel relatively straightforward to me.

Now, to your first bullet point: I don't know. I truly do not know. I think that G-d is fundamentally just...G-d, and in so being, G-d is truly unknowable to me. I think many Jews have many different interpretations on why G-d creates evil. I'm no rabbi, but one of my BFFs is and so is her mother and great grandfather. That doesn't give me any kind of authority. It just means I've spent a lot of time thinking about theological questions like this. As for my perspective, I'm a progressive/reform Jew, not a humanistic Jew. I do actually believe in G-d, but I vibe with the community philosophies of Humanistic Judaism a lot. So that's the perspective I'm coming from here:

I'm not a particular fan of the Book of Job, because I think it gets twisted and interpreted in Christian ways more than most Hebrew books and it can too easily be twisted into a "Don't question G-d, because G-d is perfect" narrative that I find to be fundamentally at odds with how I practice Judaism. Also, it's just a very sad story about how a good and kind man lost everything, and it makes me sad to think about. HOWEVER, that traditional "Don't question G-d" narrative is not how I learned to think about that book. The way I learned it, I believe the Book of Job describes this issue most explicitly. After Job loses everything he holds dear and talks to all his friends and begs again and again "Why? Why did G-d do this to me? Why would G-d do this to me when I'm a good person?" And basically G-d hears everyone answering for G-d with various reasons, "Maybe you were bad." "Maybe you should make an offering" Maybe this. Maybe that. And eventually G-d responds from within a storm (paraphrased of course) 'Why the fuck do you think it's your business to know? I made the whole universe! I made everything you see. I made the world that gave you your family in your first place. Why do you think you get to question my motives?'

The way I always interpreted that is: I don't fricking know! It's not really my business. What am I gonna do? Stop G-d? How does my knowing why G-d creates evil help anything? It doesn't mean we don't question G-d. It means we should instead focus on what we CAN control. I can't make 10/7/2023 not happen any more than I could stop The Holocaust or form an ocean. That's divine business, not human business. What I CAN do is make the world better now. What use is it challenging things that we cannot change? Things that are in the past? What's the point of asking why bad things happen when we can instead focus on stopping more bad things from happening. G-d named us his people when Abraham fought with G-d to stop the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. Abraham repeatedly asked, "But are you sure? But what if there are 100 good people? 50 good people? 10 good people?" And G-d kept responding, basically, 'I mean, there aren't. I know this cuz of how I'm G-d and know all the things. But knock yourself out looking.' My interpretation of this was that G-d doesn't get mad when we do our utmost to help our fellow human beings. G-d gets mad when we waste our energy that we could be using to help our fellow man to instead be angry and rage futilely against the past. I say this as someone with PTSD as someone who attempted to stop a tragedy from occuring and failed and can never understand why. What informs my trauma and what makes it so hard to get past isn't that G-d allowed it to happen. It's that people did. It's that I begged for help before it happened--over and over and over to dozens of adults in various positions of authority in order to prevent this terrible thing from happening (no, I will not now or ever disclose what that thing is). And all the people who could have helped failed me, and now two people are dead. Because someone did an evil, evil thing. And a bunch of other people let it happen. I'm not mad at G-d. I'm mad at people. And yet, I also know that hating people and finding reasons to dismiss them and despise them is what leads to more tragedies like that happening. So, despite my rage, truly the only thing to do is to love people. It's the only that helps. It's the only thing that repairs the world. It's the only thing that we can control. So, in short, my answer to "Why does G-d create evil?" is "Why should I spend my valuable time on earth trying to answer that question when, instead, I can spend that same exact amount of time asking millions of people, 'How can I help? What's wrong, and how can I help make any part of it better?'?" We don't need to understand G-d to make the world a better place. I'm fine leaving G-d stuff to G-d and spending my time on the human stuff.

Now, your second bullet point. Love their souls. You don't have to love what they've done. But they are human beings, as are we all. I think this can also easily be twisted into the Christian framework of "Hate the sin, love the sinner," but that's not what I mean at all. People's evil deeds are a part of them. They need to take responsibility. There is no divine absolution for crimes that people do unto each other in Judaism. If you harm a person, G-d cannot forgive you for that. Only the person or people you harmed can forgive you. And to a certain degree, we are all defined by our actions toward others. And so, no. I do not forgive the terrorists who woke up and decided to kill a bunch of Israelis and Israeli-adjacent humans. I do not forgive those who celebrate the deaths of Israelis because of some misguided sense of justice. I do not forgive the people who continue to send me hatred and death threats day after day after day after day. And I do not love the parts of them that did and do those horrible, unforgivable things. But my goodness. They were babies once. They either had parents who love(d) them, which is so sad, because they have this life of love and they chose instead to fill it with so much hate. Or they didn't have any parents or loved ones or anyone to guide them and, my goodness. That is so sad. How terrifying and alone that must feel. Maybe they have friends and family who love them and are instead wasting their precious time on this planet directing their energy at raging against me and 15 million other Jews they've never met. Or maybe they don't have anyone who loves them and they think that hating me and harming me will bring them some sense of purpose and joy. What a horrid way to live.

My Grandpa died last year. I have a wonderful family for whom I'm very grateful, and I even have good memories with my Grandpa. But he was not a good person. He came from an abusive home, and weaponized that abuse on his loved ones until he drove them all away. He was a narcissist. Not in the pop psychology sense. But in the actual clinical sense. He ruined every relationship that ever mattered to him--personal and professional. And in the end, because of his own actions, he died alone. He had pushed everyone so far (often with legal threats and action) that when he died, he laid on a slab for weeks because nobody could figure out who to call, because he had no one left. (For reference, Jewish burials are supposed to happen rather quickly and two weeks is...not good.) He was the only person in his generation who was not born in Israel--my family on his side has lived in Israel since looooong before even the British Mandate and he was the only person in his family born and raised in the US. As far as we can tell, the family on that side has been in Israel for as long as Jews have existed. He was religious. And while I've never been to Israel or met any of my family there, he did go. And he kept in touch with his relatives there before driving them away too. He was a wealthy man, but convinced himself that everyone only wanted him for his money and then decided to horde it instead. He left nothing to his children or to me. He left all his money in an endowment to his university--a place that uses that money to fund anti-Israel organizations now. He died alone, without his family that lived nearby, and with a legacy that will now cause active harm to the family that lived far away. He could have died surrounded by the loved ones from around the world who wanted nothing more than to be near him and loved by him. His story is a tragedy. The story of every person who chooses hatred over love is a tragedy. The story of someone who woke up and chose to murder others or to delight in the death of others is a tragedy. I love the soul in the center of these people. I loved my grandfather. I could not be around him. I cannot forgive some of the things he said and did. But I love the person he could have been. I love the part of him that gave me some good memories. I love the family he gave to me.

No, we do not all need to love or forgive those who have wronged us or terrorized us or murdered our loved ones. But that is different from mourning a human soul. From loving the potential of a human soul to do good in the world, and mourning the loss of that soul and its potential. Every human being--every single one no matter what they have done in their lives--has the potential to create goodness and make the world a better place. Every moment of every single day is a new chance to meet that challenge and do our best. Sure, not all of us have it in us to try our best every single moment. Sometimes life is hard and we're sad and tired and hungry and angry. And that's ok, because we have tomorrow, and an hour from now, and a minute from now. But the moment someone chooses to take action and decides that action should be to cause another harm or celebrate the harm that was caused? That's a tragedy. And when a life is extinguished, that is a life that loses its potential to try again and do better. We shouldn't love people because we deem them worthy of love. We should love people because they are people. And so are we. And how wonderful is that? I could choose to hate them. It would be so easy! But why should I do that? What do I gain? What do they gain? And isn't it so wonderful that I chose to love instead? And isn't it so wonderful that you can, too?

As for your final bullet point: I have no preference. I say goyim cuz it's easier for me. Goy/gentile/non-Jew are all fine to me. I have some icky feelings about the word gentile for a variety of linguistic reasons I won't bore you with. But some other people don't like when non-Jews appropriate Yiddish words. Others (including me) find it wonderful when non-Jews call themselves goyim. All my closest non-Jewish people call themselves goyim, including my sister! Non-jew is the most neutral in English and least likely to offend anyone. But it still separates Jews as an other whereas "goy" is a way to distinguishing yourself from Jews while also being an acknowledgment of our culture. As far as I'm concerned as long as a goy is being a goy (ally, positive) rather than a goy (derogatory) I don't mind that they call themselves goyim. LOL! Idk, friend. Do what makes you happy! What do you prefer?!

Regarding The Forward news network: They are a reliable Left-Center source with a high credibility and reporting rating and only one failed fact check in the past five years for which they issued a correction. I would consider them a reliable source. They cover legitimate issues of people who support Palestinan self-determination ostensibly being punished for their stances. They publish Op-eds critical of Netanyahu, who is terrible. And they address how antisemitism is harming diaspora Jews. They seem to consistently emphasize the humanity of everyone, which you can tell based on the rest of my post is very important to me, but they also avoid over-editorializing on news that is not in the Op-Ed section. I'll never endorse any source as perfect or guaranteed to be free of problems or harm or bad takes, but they do seem to make a genuine effort to be factual, clear, and wholly truthful. Note: I highly recommend that everyone installs the Media Bias/Fact Check extension on their web browsers. Get in the habit of checking and evaluating sources critically. It's a skill that will serve you your whole life.

@clawdia-houyhnhnm I hope this helps. And thank you for your thoughtful ask and commitment to intercultural understanding. <3

#ask me stuff #clawdia-houyhnhnm #leftist antisemitism #antisemitism #jewish muslim solidarity #jewish goyim solidarity #Judaism #jewish culture #jumblr #how to help #allyship #media literacy

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inthefallofasparrow · 2 months

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I remember when I was 10 or 11, my parents pointed out a special one-off evening session at my school that was advertised in the school's newsletter and asked if I wanted to go to it. I can't remember what it was called, but it was something pretty vague to do with 'relationships' or 'family', so I had no idea what it was and no reason to be interested in going. Except my parents wouldn't having mentioned it unless they wanted me to go or wanted me to feel like I could go if I was interested. So, because I didn't have a reason 'not' to go, and because their question felt more like a suggestion, which in turn now felt more like an obligation, I said, 'uh, ok, sure, I guess'.

So, my mother and I went to the session and there were only a few other people there. And it wasn't until the speaker started talking and drawing on the whiteboard, that I realised that it was some sort of extracurricular sex ed class, and I absolutely did not want to be there. Especially not sitting next to my mother throughout.

But I couldn't exactly leave given I'd freely volunteered to be there. So I just had to awkwardly sit there for an hour and desperately try to zone out. Except they were asking questions and expecting some sort of interaction, so I couldn't really do that either. And the worst part was, my mother clearly knew what it was beforehand and also clearly thought I knew too, and felt like she was being a good supportive parent in asking if I wanted to go and being there with me. So, I didn't want to burst that bubble, even though I'd rather be hit by a truck than be in that room a second longer.

#a lesson in benign benevolent or well-meaning trauma

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jbbartram-illu · 10 months

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OK first off, I'm sorry to my European pals - this update time is going to suck for you again BUT I promise I'll try harder to do future updates during the day (for me) on weekends! My lovely fellow-potters @sleepnoises & @moldspace are both having their updates on Saturday, so I didn't want to step on their clay toes & Sunday was too late & most of my customers are in the US & Canada, so I had to prioritize a good weekday time.

ANYWAYS. Apologies aside I've picked a time based on the poll & it's 8pm EST this Friday, December 8th! I'll be packing & shipping things ASAP, so hopefully some of it will arrive in time for the holidays if they're meant as gifts.

You can check out my latest newsletter to read some more about the update & see some peeks at the wee experimental batch I'm sneaking into the kiln next week, & you can see the shop preview here. Now I'm off to measure everything & write some descriptions - see you on Friday!

#artblog #pottery #ceramics #handbuiltceramics #ceramicsculpture #ceramicart #clay #handbuilding #stoneware #handbuilt mugs #handbuilt mug #mugs #mug

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ursynes · 7 months

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Gaster is a cat confirmed (kinda)

Ok, so I'll go ahead and come out as a massive Gaster stannie. (My beloved. He barely exists in-universe, but he is so real to me. Pets him on his bald head)

Anyway, there's a small passage in the Valentine's newsletter that caught my eye:

Putting aside interchangeable faces - this is a reference to Alice in Wonderland. Specifically to how Alice plays with verbiage. The notion that words, indeed, mean anything is constantly toyed with (and discarded) in the book.

We're now given this image of Gaster as someone for whom reality is so warped, that words (and perhaps the objects they signify as well) lose concrete shape. It ties in neatly with his use of a font where every letter is a symbol upon itself. The guy sure has a strained relationship with language. (Relatable.)

Of course, this isn't the only Alice reference we have:

So the "friend" is an obvious nod to the Cheshire Cat. This character is known for vanishing, leaving behind only its grin, and being cryptic. Vanishing and cryptic? Sounds familiar.

We have known for a while that the "cat" element exists in DR:

The other elemental pairs - Thunder/Light, Dark/Star - have a throughline of meaning that ties them together. They are things that co-occur with one another. Where there's thunder, there must have been light(ning). Stars can only be seen in the dark. So what's the deal with Puppet/Cat?...

Let's assume "cat" stands for Cheshire Cat-like qualities. Ephemeral, inscrutable, with a tinge of eerie omniscience. Why is it paired with "puppet"? A puppet is something that is, well, puppeteered. It is something immutably material, with no agency of its own. Quite the opposite of "ephemeral and omniscient"!.. Except when you realize that in DR, transcending what you know of reality will inevitably lead to the conclusion that you are...

One is intrinsically tied to another!

The characters in DR who seem to have the most forbidden knowledge have a relation to puppets and/or cats:

(Assuming that Jevil has some jack-in-the-box in him.)

These folks also have ties to Gaster and his juicy knowledge. It is not too far-fetched to assume Gaster himself has Puppet/Cat vibes. In fact, I think that he is the Cheshire Cat of Deltarune. Perhaps he doesn't mind his condition as much as we think!

TL;DR when Gaster is revealed as a catboy, the fandom will implode. Consider this your warning.

#deltarune #deltarune theory #deltarune analysis #deltarune newsletter #gaster #ursynes analysis

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furinana · 14 days

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Megaten Spotlight, an official newsletter made prior to SMTIV's release, got FULLY TRANSLATED!

While focused on the voice cast, exclusive information surrounding the development of several characters was touched upon, including juicy obscure lore about Mido and Stephen.

Taken from SMTIV's official website. Translated by takujilvr and commissioned by furinana

Megaten Spotlight: Sabbath Newsletter (108 Macca)

Text and Reportage by Shinji Yamamoto

OOOOOO

Jonathan/Kamiya Hiroshi/Forbidden Anonymous Report

A Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity

Kamiya Hiroshi is very busy. This recording session was a gift made possible thanks to the strenuous efforts of his coordinator.

Even today, he could only show up for recording after finishing the rest of his work.

The Deciding Factor was His Versatility

His appointment to the role strongly reflected the opinions of the female staff. Apparently they grinned, saying his voice fit Jonathan's concept and visuals perfectly.

But what really caught my eye, aside from their support, was his versatility. He can perform a wide range of roles, from handsome men to madmen.

In addition to Jonathan, he also plays a character who appears in the latter half of the story, for reasons pertaining to the game's plot.

I knew he’d be able to perform both roles splendidly.

Fighting with Real Swords

He's frighteningly strict in regards to the art of acting.

He gave a great deal of attention not just to the nuance of the lines, but the context they stem from.

Even when we gave the OK, he would ask to do a retake if he wasn't satisfied with the result. In the end, he gave so much of his time to us that he had to make an unplanned addition to his schedule.

I felt he had the approach of a modern-day "Samurai".

Living Up to the Title of Law Hero

Up until now, Chaos has had more vocal supporters thanks to its bold claims and good balance of recruitable demons.

The secret challenge put before this series entry is whether or not it can add to the ranks of Law adherents.

Seeing his acting, the way Jonathan laughs with the protagonist and sheds tears before him, I'm convinced this hurdle has already been cleared.

In Conclusion

After recording, I asked for a photo despite his busy schedule.

This gentle expression conveys his personality well.

I earnestly wish for his continued good health, and that his fans won't throw rocks at me after seeing this photo.

AUDIO FILES

01_01 [Hiroshi Kamiya] I'm Kamiya Hiroshi, who does the voice for Jonathan. Now Jonathan, he's a bit like the honor student there's at least one of in any class. His conduct and morals are flawless, there isn't a single gnarl in his character, but because of that he can be a bit inflexible from time to time, and then again sometimes not. But being the golden boy can come with its own particular forms of suffering, and I feel like in some scenes you might gradually come to see glimpses of that here and there. You'll have to play the game to find out. Thank you!

01_02 [Jonathan] S-Stop pulling my hair, Walter! It won't straighten out, I got it from my mother!

01_03 [Jonathan] Some say, "Might makes right. I have no hand to extend to the weak." …I simply can't comprehend that way of thinking.

01_04 [Jonathan] I'll only tell you this because it's you, all right? Only because it's you! I'm afraid I can't bring myself to like women very much. Being raised in a household with two elder sisters and one younger made me lose any illusions about them I might've had. You're a man, so I feel much more at ease with you.

Walter/Konishi Katsuyuki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Troupe's Vice-Leader is a Fisherman's Boy

Lunchtime in Jinbocho

Before the recording session at 2:00, we sated our hunger at a famous ramen shop near the studio. It was before work, so when the call came he asked for "Veggies, salty!"*. *[TN: Referring to infamous chain Ramen Jiro, where you have to make your topping orders very fast-- "Garlic! Veggies! Fat! Salty!"]

This time Konishi Katsuyuki, who plays Walter, is recording. He's a remarkable actor who works as the vice-leader of a theatrical troupe in addition to performing many roles as a voice actor.

He's also tall and has refreshing looks. How many things has heaven blessed him with? The photo below was taken before recording.

We gave him a summary of this SMT title and an explanation of his character. During the prep meeting, we found out that he's an avid gamer. After enduring the worry that we'd lose track of time talking about games with him, I attended the recording session.

A Chaotic Recording

The recording session reached new heights of chaos. The script he was given was full of missing pages.

Walter boasts the most voice lines out of any character, which means that reviewing the script takes up a lot of time as-is.

Perhaps this was the work of a certain bigwig demon he also plays.

Now this is Acting!

To the left, you can see Konishi recreating a scene where Walter, due to a certain event, vents his emotions to Jonathan, who should have been his friend. His clenched fist represents the katana Walter holds during the scene.

It once again drove home to me that voice acting isn't just about reading lines, but performance.

A Brief Rest

The recording actually lasted five hours.

But today's work only amounted to about 60% of the voices he's been assigned to do. The rest would be recorded at a later date.

Dinnertime in Jinbocho

It was dinnertime by the time we left the recording studio.

The scene where Walter enjoys breakfast with his friends crossed my mind, and even though I hadn't decided on dinner yet, I chose to have bread for breakfast the next day, and hurried home.

AUDIO FILES

02_01 [Katsuyuki Konishi] Yes! Thank you! Hello! I'm Konishi Katsuyuki! I play the part of Walter. Right, anyway, Walter, he doesn't talk very nice, but he's a great guy at heart. How do I put this, he's a very human character. He openly expresses the things that most people hide, and if everyone sees that they might be a little turned off by it; but he's very honest; he's a good boy. So I hope you enjoy him a lot. Honestly, I think it's a pretty wonderful thing! Please see him in action in SMT 4!

02_02 [Walter] Enough of that "Ooh, you'll catch cold!" drivel, Jonathan, you sound like a naggy old wife. I can't abide being constricted, this chest must stay bared!

02_03 [Walter] I'll only say this if you promise not to tell anyone! Cats, I just love 'em. When I see one outside, I can't help but crouch down and give it some pets! Wait, no. I mean, listen, I can't stand fish. And they can take it off my hands, can't they? That's why I love cats. Right.

02_04 [Walter] "What is this world without God's order? We don't need any excess of individuality." There are some who say this, but I wonder if they even know where their own heads are at.

Isabeau/Sawashiro Miyuki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Sole Lady Samurai is Bilingual

Taking the Subway to the Studio

We boarded the subway from Sangenjaya, where the company building is located. The studio we headed to is in Jinbocho.

The laptop I was carrying holds the data for all the scripts used in recording. If this laptop gets stolen, you can be sure a written apology won't save me. Preparing for unforeseen circumstances, I made sure to keep my nerves sharp even while I was on the move.

Today's recording was with Sawashiro Miyuki. I'm not familiar with the voice acting industry, but even I know her name. I also know she's proficient in English.

She gives a quiet impression, but has a fair amount of presence. I felt the awe you'd get from a still body of water holding back a raging current.

Before recording, we gave an explanation of her character, Isabeau. But she understood the character perfectly. I spend most of my time silently working at the development offices, and I'm not good at conversation, so nothing made me more grateful than this.

A Consummate Performance

Her performance plan was even more perfect.

Not only did she nail the image of Isabeau we had in mind, she polished it even further, without any need for retakes. As Isabeau, she conveyed merry excitement, and acted with bizarrely high energy after inhaling gas.

So many new expressions of Isabeau were given life that couldn't be conveyed through text alone. If at all possible, I'd like to progress the story together with Isabeau, without having to part ways.

The End of Recording

Her recording session ended without incident.

She briskly left the studio to go to her next job.

Back to the Office

I stopped back by the office to prepare the materials for tomorrow's recording sessions.

I was met with the envious gazes of staff who were knowledgeable about voice acting, having become "the guy who got a conversation out of Sawashiro Miyuki".

AUDIO FILES

03_01 [Miyuki Sawashiro] Hello everyone, I'm Sawashiro Miyuki. Isabeau, who I play, is a very strong girl, one of the few to become a Samurai, and she works hard to stand on equal footing with men in a society where she's expected to walk one step behind. In present-day terms, she's like a career woman working hard on the forefront of things. She may not seem like it at first glance, but she's a girl with a very focused will. Definitely play the game and see for yourself how she turns out.

03_02 [Isabeau] Your hairstyle is called a "ponytail", correct? Maybe I should grow out my own hair. I wonder if it'd suit me.

03_03 [Isabeau] "So we're talking like, super lame, but so lame it makes me laugh my ass off, yanno?" It seems this dialect was common in Tokyo once, but how exactly does one laugh off an ass?* *[TN: in jpn Isabeau's confusion revolves around the phrase 'gyaku ni ukeru'. "gyaku ni" can mean "in reverse" but also "on the other hand", and "ukeru" can mean "to find funny" but also "to take", so Isabeau's confused by the slang-- she thinks the person with the 'accent' possesses something that is backwards, and she doesn't know what.]

03_04 [Isabeau] I must tell you something very important. You mustn't go spreading it around. When I think of that one special gentleman, it makes me want to have a romance so enthralling I can't even take my meals! But it's not an easy one, maybe let's say, our parents are both opposed to it. And this is where it really gets good! Finally, after so much deliberation, we choose to elope and-- Excuse me, I got rather carried away. I suppose before all that I need to experience love for myself first.

Navarre/Ōhata Shintarō/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Behold a Gallant Man Who's So Hard to Hate That You Can't Help But Hate Him!

A Quick Lunch Between Recordings

This morning we managed to finish recording one voice actor's lines without incident. Two more are scheduled for the day.

To the right you can see me having lunch before the next session. It wasn't very good manners, but I also went over the scripts we'd be using that afternoon.

Even a Problem Child Outside the Game

It was actually pretty rough going selecting Navarre's voice actor.

The development staff had varying opinions on just how annoying Navarre should be, and we couldn't quite seem to figure out an image we could all agree on.

Then we borrowed some wisdom from the director of the recording studio. On the basis of this recommendation, we listened to some sample voices, and decided to have Ōhata Shintarō play Navarre.

He came without a moment's delay. He was unpretentious and very friendly. To the right you can see him doing a promotional autograph. He handles the pen so smoothly. Navarre could learn a thing or two from him.

Thanks to his acting chops, Navarre became many times more enjoyable than we originally planned.

If that pen was a sword, Ōhata would be a remarkable Samurai.

A Happy Accident

Ōhata's Navarre went above and beyond what I had imagined. The director was right on the money.

The likeability he brings to Navarre will make his tragic fate stand out all the more.

A Quick Break

The session ended faster than planned. This is yet another one of his skills.

We saw him off from the studio.

A Luxurious Time

Thanks to him, we had some extra time before the next session. We took a short break with some coffee, courtesy of the studio staff.

This must be what it's really like to live as a Luxuror.

AUDIO FILES

04_01 [Navarre] Whuh?!

04_02 [Navarre] If there aren't any demons it'll all be fine… And there aren't any demons in the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado…

04_03 [Navarre] [Mindbroken laughter]

The COOL☆ Way to Throw a Tantrum

You're on break with your close friends, and you want to get curry for lunch, but everyone else is fine with going to the convenience store. These moves will come in handy in such situations.

Move 1: The Paper Sheet

Stand with your arms relaxed. It's easier to move if you lower your center of gravity.

Vigorously push either one of your shoulders to the front, like you're hitting something.

Stick out your arm, letting it move with the force of your shoulder. Twist your upper body around while doing this. Now do the same thing with your other side.

Repeat while whining. You don't necessarily have to use your words, just make sure to convey your intent.

Protagonist/Kaji Yūki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Leading Role

We spent almost the whole day immersed in work.

The last voice actor didn’t have that many lines to record. We planned for the recording time to total less than two hours.

I felt a premature sense of relief.

But……

The Players had Unexpected Knowledge and Wisdom

Nothing’s been published on the official site yet, so I was surprised by how many people online guessed correctly.

Today we’ll be introducing Kaji Yūki, who plays the protagonist.

The Character of a Samurai

I was struck by his inquisitive gaze as we explained the concept of a protagonist who recruits enemy demons, and the mythological origins of the major demons who stand in his way.

I could already feel the character of a Samurai radiating from the way he refused to shrink before demons.

Surely it’s a quality the Gauntlet wouldn’t overlook.

The Personality of ‘No Personality’

SMT puts emphasis on the player being the protagonist.

So we had to give him the unreasonable order of displaying heroism without displaying too much individuality.

To be honest, taking his presence and his voice’s impact into account, I felt a touch nervous before the recording.

But his knack for restraint was superb.

Given his ability to understand our angle and promptly execute it, I believe all his stats would be very high.

Abundant Variations

The majority of the protagonist’s lines are short phrases, such as the “Yahh!” when he swings his sword and his “Ugh!” when he takes damage.

He gave as many “Yahh!”s and “Ugh!”s as the recording time permitted. His excellent performance sparked a passion in me as I gave the orders.

To the right, you can see me striking a pose to explain the nuances of the protagonist’s voice when he lands after falling from a great height.

A Rich Recording Session

During his recording, I didn’t just use my head, but my body, to convey the nuance of his lines.

Despite the short recording time, I had a rich and extremely rewarding sense of exhaustion by the end.

Feeling a bit of discomfort in my thighs due to lack of daily exercise, I left the recording studio.

AUDIO FILES

05_01 [Yuki Kaji] Hello everyone, it's Kaji Yuki. Some of you have probably guessed who I'm playing. I'm the protagonist! In SMT the protagonist represents the player themselves, so I tried hard to make my performance cool without bringing in too much invidiuality and spoiling the player's sense of identification. This game is a story of the choices the protagonist makes. Please weave the tale of SMT 4 with those choices, everyone.

05_02 [Flynn] [Dying Flynn noises]

05_03 [Flynn] Summon!

05_04 [Flynn] [Climbing grunting Flynn noises]

Issachar/Maeno Tomoaki/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Bass-Voiced, Reliable Childhood Friend

The Character’s Role

Issachar is the first character whose face you see.

In the game’s setting he plays the role of the protagonist’s childhood friend, while simultaneously bearing the responsibility of a guide, easing the players into the game’s world.

So Issachar is a very important character.

We put a lot of thought into selecting his voice actor and the phrasing of his lines, so that he’d appeal to a wide range of players.

Reliable Performance

Since Issachar acts as a guide, he has to be a character that the players will want to take along with them.

Maeno Tomoaki, Issachar’s voice actor, conveys that dependability with his powerful bass voice. I’m sure he’ll be able to comfortably guide the players into the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado.

Although Issachar doesn’t have many lines, he’s a character with turbulent emotions, going from speaking in a gentle tone to suddenly violently raising his voice.

The above photograph shows him just before he does Issachar’s dying scream. The sudden change in him left me awestruck.

I was so transfixed that I forgot to take a photo……

A Tearful Farewell

This is a photo of us after recording.

It was taken after the scene where Issachar, choked by tears, pours out his emotions.

It’s easier to make a middle-aged man cry than I thought. His tears became my own as I saw him off.

AUDIO FILES

06_01 [Issachar] Haha! I suppose so.

06_02 [Issachar] I'll have my vengeance!

06_03 [Issachar] Shall we?

The COOL☆ Way to Catch Change with Your Feet

We drop our change at vending machines a good deal more often than we’d like to admit.

We’ll introduce a COOL way to deal with this situation.

Move 2: The Chicken

Stick your lower back out behind you. Keep your upper body as still as possible, and…

Rotate your lower back to the other side from behind.

Use the force of your rotating orbit to raise your leg. Fix your aim on the change at your feet…

And twist your leg as you stomp on it. Don’t let your prey escape.

Akira/Gōda Hozumi/Forbidden Anonymous Report

You Won’t Find These Two On the Website

The Joys of the Job

Game development is harsh work that exhausts and burdens one’s mind and body. One page isn’t enough to convey how painful it is.

But there are joys I’d never experience if not for this job. This time, Gōda Hozumi, who plays the two Akiras, is recording.

There might be readers unfamiliar with ‘Akira’.

Because of the timing of his appearance, and to maintain the balance of the work’s setting, the two Akiras aren’t introduced on the official website.

I’ve known about Gōda since I was little, when he played the role of a perfect soldier.* *[TN: Chirico Cuvie, from Armored Trooper Votoms.]

I really admire him, and in my humble opinion the character he played is one of anime’s top three handsome men of all time. So I’m a lot more tense than usual, and during the briefing my words seem to get stuck in my throat.

The two Akiras he plays are an Akira with an aura of Law, and another with an aura of Chaos.

The tricky thing about this role was how he had to play, fundamentally, the same “Akira”, while still bringing out the differences between the two.

Truly Perfect

Just so I’m making it clear.

Both Akiras became deeply impressive characters thanks to his performance.

In-game, when you find yourself about to press the remote control’s switch, that means you’ll meet Akira very soon.

Normie Experience

You can see a photo of the two of us to the left.

I never imagined I’d be taking a photo with “the man on the TV” I looked up to as a child.

In this moment I felt, from the bottom of my heart, how happy I was to have this job.

The End of Recording

On the way home, for no real reason, I checked today’s horoscope on my cellphone.

It seemed like my sign was in the lowest-ranked position. My career luck was especially bad. After today, I knew that couldn’t be true.

I smiled and followed the route home.

AUDIO FILES

07_01 [Blasted Akira] Your faces tell me you have no idea what's going on. That's understandable. There's no need to worry, we aren't your enemies.

07_02 [Infernal Akira] Oh yeah, lemme ask, where you guys from? I mean, not like it really matters.

07_03 [Both] [Blasted Akira]: We'll make sure your efforts are remembered till the end of time. Farewell, Messiahs. [Infernal Akira]: Damn, you guys are something! That's my Intruders for ya!

Hikaru/Inoue Marina/Forbidden Anonymous Report

A “Light” Hidden by a Uniform

Trouble Brewing

The problems that occurred during Inoue Marina’s recording session almost broke my heart.

In the middle of recording, we found out that a crucial scene with Hikaru was missing from the script.

A certain somebody must have been present at the recording. We wouldn’t be able to do this the easy way.

Handling it Cooler than Cocytus

At this point she had already recorded Hikaru’s lines and started on our old friend’s. Changing characters in the middle of recording can really disrupt the flow of an actor’s performance plan.

After she finished the lines for our old friend, we’d have to have her do Hikaru once again. In contrast to my panicked state, she understood the situation without once breaking her beautiful composure.

Our friend is very reliable indeed. While she was playing this character, I had to work out appropriate lines for Hikaru while checking her performance at the same time.

Borrowing Our Old Friend’s Knowledge and Wisdom

After that phase of recording ended, we went back to recording Hikaru. She helped us out with the parts of the script we had issues with.

With her suggestions, we managed to record some very nicely fitting lines. I came to know firsthand the magnificence of the knowledge and wisdom our friend gave humanity.

A Stormy Recording

She gave us an autograph for promotional use. She then left the studio for her next assignment.

The studio was once again calm, as if our earlier troubles had never happened. This time around, in the words of a certain entertainer, “my stomach turned to friggin’ ice!”.* *[TN: Yamashita Kenji, a personality appearing on entertainer Matsuko Deluxe's variety program Out Deluxe. Notable for his unusually squeaky voice. The line in question is 肝を冷やしたぜ！]

AUDIO FILES

08_01 [Hikaru] I wonder how it'll look if we take a walk together? We can go arm in arm if you like. Hold hands, too. Squeeze them, like a couple. I'll do anything you want… As long as you hold my interest.

08_02 [Hikarucifer] The nail that sticks out is hammered down in the human world, yet in the end it's king-of-the-hill: the winners rise by process of elimination. See Tayama; he has no power, but he draws the people's ire by making more of a display of it than he needs to. Charming, as long as this game goes on, but I can't leave him be if he goes too far.

08_03 [Marina Inoue] I'm Inoue Marina, who plays Hikaru. Hi! Hikaru looks like a very normal high school girl, but is she really? Right. I guess she's a very odd presence in SMT 4's world, which raises a lot of mysteries around her, but definitely play the game, discover it for yourself, and you'll be like, 'Oh, so that's how it is!' Please have fun playing SMT 4! Thank you!

The COOL☆ Way to Push a Button

Buttons may seem like they’re at a disadvantage with the advent of touch panels, but we still have many opportunities to push them.

These moves will turn your everyday button-pushing into COOL button-pushing.

Move 3: The Point

Set your hand at the edge of your shoulder. Put your fingers in the pointing position.

Using your elbow as a fulcrum, stick your hand forward without breaking the position of your fingers. Lean your upper body forward a bit.

You can also do it with the opposite hand, with many variations depending on which direction you’re pointing.

Or do it from the side. There are as many ways to point as there are people.

Tayama/Ōtsuka Hochū/Forbidden Anonymous Report

A Rock-Solid Image Even Before Recording

Unanimous Agreement

Tayama’s role of the ‘lovable enemy’ is a difficult one to pull off. But it was surprisingly easy to decide who we wanted to play him. Basically everyone agreed.

I actually wrote Tayama’s lines with Ōtsuka Hochū firmly in mind even before we decided on him.

I even listened to his acting in other works he’d been in while I was writing. So, ironically, I actually couldn’t believe it when I heard he was officially selected for the role.

He’s played many memorable villains, like the pilot of a Mobile Suit equipped with a weapon called the “Sea Snake”*, and the final boss of the second movie in a series about drunken martial arts.**

[TN: *Yazan Gable from Zeta Gundam, who pilots the Mobile Suit Hambrabi.

**John, an enforcer for the British consul in Drunken Master II. (Of course, just the dubbing, he's not the actual actor.)]

To be honest, I was a little nervous about actually meeting him.

A Gentle Aura

He had a very gentle aura about him when he arrived at the studio.

I could feel my tension melt away in front of him, like a detoxifying lotion.

Lovable Villain

Thanks to his acting, Tayama became even more persuasive than we thought. His voice has the power to make even Tayama’s inhuman methods seem reasonable.

Tayama is more than simply “the tyrant who rules Tokyo”, and Otsuka was able to bring out that appeal even more.

Sharing Drinks

I asked for a photo after recording. Taking Tayama’s character into account, we tried doing a photo of us ‘exchanging sake cups’.

But I was overwhelmed by his presence, and got nervous again. Maybe the senior Samurai in Roppongi ended up that way for the same reason.

I felt like I’d touched the aura of somebody really amazing.

AUDIO FILES

09_01 [Tayama] If I went around looking like a bum, my men would lose their ambition. This way, even with Tokyo in the state it is, you know you can dress sharp and drink your fill of good booze twice a week. I know if everyone in Tokyo heard this they'd really chew me out, but it's a lot to put up with on my end too. I'm really more of a 'wolf down some egg on rice wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants' kinda guy.

09_02 [Hochu Otsuka] Hello, I'm Otsuka Hochu, who plays Tayama. He's one of them yakuzas, but I played him with the image of a slick, smart guy-- a guy who keeps some sharp fangs hidden, who glimpses people's weaknesses-- in mind. A sharp guy who used that rottenness and dirtiness unique to adults to crawl from society's dregs to the peak. He might be a character who grown up players can find surprisingly sympathetic. I know he's a scary middle aged dude, but why don't you join him and think about the future of SMT 4's Tokyo?

9_03 [Tayama] 'Scuse me? You're telling me you can't meet the Reds quota? I've said it a million times, if it looks bad, you gotta report to me with a contingency plan. You know, kidnap some poor sap from the underground, turn yourself into Reds material, that kinda thing. Now I'm not saying you have to just go off and do that. But when you make a report, I better hear you say "We won't be able to meet the quota! In the worst case scenario I will gladly become the Reds myself!", capiche?

The Black Samurai and Gabby/Tanaka Atsuko/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Devilish Female Characters

There’s an expression, “devilish”*, that’s sometimes used to describe a woman. *[TN: The word used, Mashō, literally means ‘devilish’, with the specific connotation of an alluring sexiness.]

During this recording, I found myself in the direct presence of that devilishness. If there were an app that could evaluate devilishness, how many points would she get?

Devilish Beings Taking Human Forms

The Black Samurai and Gabby, who Atsuko Tanaka plays, are unique characters. They appear to be human on the outside, but there’s an inhuman quality we want to emphasize in every one of their lines.

We wouldn’t be able to do this without her skill and devilish appeal.

A Soft Demeanor

I got a very mellow impression from her.

Before recording, I was encouraged by how she said “Just let me know if you have any requests”.

A Gentle Aura

During recording, her demeanor was so cool and dignified that it’d be easy to fall in love with her even if she was a man.

If someone like the crossdressing beauty in V◯rbara* really existed, they would probably be a lot like her.

*[TN: Oscar from Rose of Versailles. You should know this.]

You can feel this devilish allure from both characters. It’s no wonder the people of the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado were led astray by the Black Samurai.

Innumerable Kinds of Devilishness Within Her

We got a promotional autograph from her after recording was finished.

She was very gentle-mannered, in stark contrast to the dignified aura she had during recording. I felt that there were innumerable different kinds of devilishness within her (in a good way).

It makes you wonder if the devilishness you can feel in these characters is something that comes from Tanaka herself.

AUDIO FILES

10_01 [Gabby] Hm? You'd like to share breakfast with me? It would be an honor. I was thinking I'd like to talk with you if I had the chance. You must have all manner of things to think about in the course of your duties each day. I can be your listener if it isn't any trouble. Why don't we share our time as fellow members of God's chosen?

10_02 [Yuriko] It doesn't give me too much grief when I actually wear it, but shame on humans for making this Demonica thing. Oh, you over there, if you've got the time, could you help me take this off? It gets so tight around the chest. Why don't I add it to your quests? Oh, I know you'll accept. Hehehe.

10_03 [Gabriel] Shene Duque is the land of beginning, where your ancestors who once spurned His works alit on the earth anew. Thus from this land shall the new Millennium be built… With you, who have hearkened to the voice of the angel who speaketh His word.

10_04 [Atsuko Tanaka] I'm Tanaka Atsuko. I played two female characters, Gabby and Yuriko, in SMT 4. Their personalities and alignment are polar opposites, so I played them while digging deep into my own lawful and chaotic sides. Maybe this game will create an opportunity for all the players to confront their own selves. Is your alignment Law? Chaos? Or…?

[Editor note: Tanaka Atsuko sadly passed away in August of 2024. She also voiced Lilith in SMTV:Vengeance]

Hope/Nakai Kazuya/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Sympathizing with the Grief of Middle Management

I also found myself in a central position where I was put in charge of and had to give directions to the staff who drew up the in-story events.

Which is to say, I’m a middle manager pushed down by the higher-ups and pressured by the people under me. It’s a tough place to be.

This is a game where the player becomes the “protagonist character” and fights demons. But when I take my own circumstances into account, I can’t seem to take my eyes off what Hope is doing.

Is this the Studio or my House?

It may be because he provides the narration for various morning infotainment programs, but even though this was our first time meeting, I was already used to his voice.

Listening to him as he did the promotional autograph, for a moment, I thought I was in my own living room watching TV.

Truly the Ideal Boss

In the course of the story, the protagonist leaves the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado and has to perform new duties in Tokyo.

The story itself doesn’t go into details, but while the protagonist is gone, Hope makes strenuous efforts to defend the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado.

He has the great pride of devoting himself to behind-the-scenes work so his subordinates can fulfill a great task.

Thanks to Nakai, Hope’s “Ideal Boss” concept was made into a reality.

The Road to Being the Ideal Boss is Long

By the time recording ended and we saw him off, it was already past 9:00. Even then, the story event staff was probably hard at work back at the office.

I was planning on going straight home from the studio, but now I thought I’d drop by the office and give them some snacks…… Unfortunately, the next day’s recording was scheduled early, so I had to go home after all.

If Hope was real, I’d definitely want him to give me some training too.

AUDIO FILES

11_01 [Hope] You. Good timing. I want you to sit down a minute and listen to me talk about the old times. I left a woman in my hometown. A slight one, with a bit of a curl in her hair. My beloved. Haven't been able to send her so much as a letter since the day I became a Samurai. No, here I am throwing the ring I was supposed to give her into Naraku every year for the Prentices' training. Being blessed with outstanding men can be a trouble in its own right.

11_02 [Kazuya Nakai] I'm Nakai Kazuya, I played Hope. He's a rather unlucky adult character who's revered by his peers for his ability, but isn't valued by society at large because his inability to bend his convictions makes him a bit pigheaded and awkward. He shows a brusque, taciturn, and strict side, but on the inside he's quietly full of passion and concern for his subordinates. I played him with the image of the ideal commander everyone has in their heads. He doesn't get very much screentime, but he has a lot of flavor as a character, so please go meet him in SMT 4.

11_03 [Hope] Listen here, you. I can't say I find it very admirable that you're spending your off day mewed up in the barracks. Come, if leisure is too much for you to handle, I'll give you some training. Take off your coat and come to the Aquila Statue Plaza.

The COOL☆ Way to Pick Out a DVD

DVD stores are a treasure trove of knowledge and wisdom. You don’t want to take your eyes from the shelves for a moment, lest you miss out on an unexpected meeting with a masterpiece.

Here are some moves that will help you out at such times.

Move 4: The Crab

Stand by with your toes turned inward. Keeping your knees turned inward is also a good idea.

Open your legs, shifting your weight to the heel of the foot pointed in the direction you want to go, and to the toes of the opposite foot.

When you lift your foot it’ll look like this. As you move, keep alternating your weight between the heels and toes of your left and right feet.

Shift your weight again and return to the first position. Repeat, moving sideways. You’ll never miss that actress’ new movie now.

Hugo/Tadano Yōhei/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Not Just “Another Hired Gun”* *[TN: Tadano Yohei’s name, 多田野曜平, is a homonym for ただの傭兵, ‘just another mercenary’.]

Hugo’s voice actor, Tadano Yōhei, was a pretty unique individual. As soon as we met, I was hit with a preemptive strike: he introduced himself as “tada no yōhei”, just another hired gun.

I could tell he wasn’t “just another” guy at all.

Eyes on my Head

We explained Hugo’s concept to him before recording.

During my explanation, even as he listened to me, I noticed that his gaze drifted to the top of my head multiple times.

Adding More Lines

When it was decided he’d play Hugo, the development staff felt a sense of regret. You see, Hugo didn’t have nearly enough scenes. We wouldn’t be able to fully convey the appeal of a Hugo played by Tadano.

Despite the difficulty of making large-scale revisions given our schedule, we increased the number of events Hugo appeared in, and drew up some new quests focused on him.

Among the staff, Hugo has a solid position in the popularity rankings, even moreso than the female characters, who are all pretty high up there. This is also thanks to his voice.

Trembling from the Seriousness

This next photo shows him acting out another character related to Hugo, just before you enter into battle with him. *[TN: Most likely King Ahazuya Mikado-- He's played with a lower-pitched voice, but its tone and quality makes me fairly certain it's Tadano]

He gave a serious performance, as far from Hugo as you could imagine. I trembled at that quiet air of intimidation that lulls whoever listens to it into despair.

A Friendly Chat After Recording

After recording, he told me he had a request. I readily consented, saying I’d do whatever I could.

He’d had his eye on something since before recording started. If this’ll make him happy, it’s no problem for me.

I attained a heartfelt understanding of how a certain anpan-headed hero feels.* *[TN: Anpanman. You really should know this.]

AUDIO FILES

12_01 [Hugo] In truth, we of the Monastery have been conducting excavations of Naraku ever since King Aquila founded the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado 1500 years ago. Yet every one of those daft Samurai speaks of our many accomplishments in Naraku as if they were their own deeds! No one would have even conceived of forming the Samurai if not for us!

12_02 [Hugo] In this kingdom, the fruits that come of researching Tokyo net you more praise than doing battle with demons all day. Thus I left the Samurai and joined the Monastery, even as my brethren-in-arms all scorned me as a coward. Now I'm the Abbot, and even the Samurai must act as I will it! And yet I feel a hollowness sometimes. I've lived my life prey to the whims of my own avarice; I've never learned what it is that I truly must do. I envy, yet resent my Commander-- I mean, Hope, for how he lives with such unwavering conviction. [TN: Hugo calls Hope 'Hope-kun', implying that he sees him as a subordinate, or at least tries to act like it. idk how to carry over the nuance?]

12_03 [Hugo] It seems in Tokyo there was once a dish called sweet-and-sour pork. I'm told the meat was fried together with vegetables and even fruit, and mixed with a sweet, mildly sour sauce. Isn't fruit supposed to be eaten as dessert? And what's meant by "sweet and mildly sour"? Does the sweetness win out in the end, or is the flavor more acidic? It's all very bizarre. I can't say it doesn't fascinate me, this pork.

Fujiwara/Morita Junpei/Forbidden Anonymous Report

From the Ward Junior High to the Coffee Shop

This installment’s voice actor is active in many other areas besides games. He really does have a wide range, from anime to dubbing to theater.

Morita Junpei, who plays Fujiwara, also played “Kan-Kan from math class” in a nationally famous school drama. *[TN: Morita played Inui-Sensei, nicknamed "Kan-Kan from math class" in the long-running Kinpachi-Sensei series. His nickname comes from an alternate reading of his name, and his short-tempered (kan-kan) personality.]

A Very Well-Suited Role

All of the voice actors are people I’m meeting for the very first time at the recording studio.

It’s natural that when they get cast, I’m not going to know what kind of people they are.

But even though he looks different, Morita felt just like Fujiwara himself.

He’s a mature fellow with an intellectual and gentle demeanor, but the discretion to not make a big show of it.

It Feels Just Like a Cafe

Morita loves conversation very much. During the pre-recording briefing, he told me about the frontman of a well-known guitar rock band some of you may know as “Shikerona”.* *[TN: This was a misspelling, probably deliberate, but it's supposed to be "Shinaroke"-- Sheena and the Rokkets. Fujiwara was based on frontman Makoto Ayukawa, who sadly passed away in 2023.]

It seems like he’s very good friends with him. Coincidentally, Fujiwara was based on that musician.

Our conversation grew even more enlivened. The briefing’s mood was supremely relaxed, just like Cafe Florida. I found myself unconsciously reaching for imaginary snacks in front of me.

An Artisan’s Technique

What struck me was his magnificent way of utilizing pauses.

Fujiwara is meant to search out and get a feel for whoever he’s talking with without saying much himself. Morita conveyed this through exquisitely timed pauses.

His technique as an artisan shined even within his relaxed manner.

Making Balanced Decisions

Fujiwara doesn’t have very much screentime at all. This means you could easily reach the ending without even touching on Fujiwara’s real motives.

You should definitely try to make balanced decisions and conquer your feelings of despair. Then Fujiwara just might open his heart to you, using the power of Morita’s voice.

AUDIO FILES

13_01 [Fujiwara] Hey, Skins. You're looking a little long in the tooth lately! The corners of your eyes are all droopy now, like in one of those idol groups from this one country back in the day. Maybe time to think about a facelift? I can give you one if you're jealous. Aw, what's with the face? Bet it's 'cause you don't know where they messed up with it!

13_02 [Fujiwara] I've lost all my appetite with age. A drink, a cig, piece of a biscuit, and brother, I've got myself a dinner. But back when I was a company man, I duped my coworker Kelly so I could eat at this yakiniku joint in Roppongi three times a week at my employer's expense.

13_03 [Junpei Morita] Morita Junpei here. I play a character called Fujiwara. He's the man with the cigarette and coffee cup who's always at the cafe. He used to be a newspaper reporter and he went through a whole lot in the past, but I tried to play him as sort of detached and easygoing, without letting that show on the surface too much. Also, his friendliness and that kind of thing. Depending on how you progress through the game, there's a route where you get to find out about the hopes and sorrows he's had since he was younger, so if you haven't seen it yet, please try and adventure through every nook and cranny of SMT 4's world.

Skins/Yamaji Kazuhiro/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Dandy Comes to Town

When I was a teenager, I had a sense, albeit vague, of wanting to become a “cool adult”. But even as I near my 40s, I still don’t know what you need to be “cool”.

But when I met Yamaji Kazuhiro, who plays Skins, I think I began to understand a little.

Exuding Presence

Skins was written as taciturn to begin with, but he doesn’t have much screentime either.

I tried to give each and every one of his lines a lot of weight so that he would make a bigger impression. Adding Yamaji’s performance into the mix, Skins stands out far more than we initially planned.

He Can Play Around, Too

Yamaji doesn’t operate on presence alone.

When Skins asks the protagonist the name of a certain character, you’ll get to see a unique reaction from him if you enter a certain string of letters.

On his recommendation, the content of his lines in that scene became more comical than we initially planned. I take my hat off to his playful spirit.

Definitely enter “Masa****” when you get the chance.

How to be a Cool Adult

He joined us for a post-recording photoshoot. He proposed that we both make “cool faces”.

Being photographed with him, I felt like I got closer to being a “cool adult”. I think I still have a ways to go before I can really become one.

I want to think that I got a little bit closer from realizing that.

AUDIO FILES

14_01 [Skins] When I see you I think of this one kid I worked with in my old unit. Had these two friends he was always with, just like you with Jonathan and Walter. What were their names again… Oh, right. One guy was a little too much of a people-pleaser. Had some real backbone though. He was Kiyoharu. The other was a rough, wild type, but real compassionate when he wanted to be. That was Kenji.

14_02 [Skins] The guy who first proposed building the Yamato Perpetual Reactor was the Minister of Defense. Said Japan was weak, didn't have enough stamina, and if we wanted to catch up we'd need a perpetual-motion plasma reactor. He drew up the perfect plan to make this Yamato Reactor a reality. But it was actually a means of staging a coup d'etat, to purge the incompetent politicians resigned to selling our country out to the ones who financially dominated us. He was a brave but pitiful man who got swallowed up by the lust called patriotism. His dying screams as he fell to the demons still ring in my ears.

14_03 [Skins] I remember these rumors that started going around way back when the Counter-Demon Force was first established, about the source of the Demon-Summoning Program. Thought we'd summon some demons with it and put 'em to use as weapons anyway. I mean look, this thing, if you got the most bleeding-edge tech in the world back then, you still couldn't even come close to developing it. And that means you've got everyone talking about some broad out there providing our country with supertechnology.

Stephen (or rather... Steven) /Chō/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Father of the Demon Summoning Program

When I had to stay home sick early in elementary school, I saw a young man on the TV, who moved to Nagano Prefecture to pursue his dream of running a store.

I can still clearly remember how he worked hard at his delivery job with his beloved bicycle, and how between deliveries, he would make maps of his routes and introduce the places on them.* *[TN: Cho played the main character in the television series Tanken! Boku no Machi.]

To think I’d be able to meet him in a situation like this.

So Many Mysteries

Some of you may know this, but for a little while there was a rumor that Chō was dead.

Steven, who developed and spread the Demon Summoning Program for the sake of humanity’s potential while losing his own physical form, is one of the most unusual characters in the game.

Chō and Steven are both shrouded in mystery.

How he was chosen to play Steven is a mystery in its own right.

The Father of Steven

Even though Steven has appeared many times in the series so far, the truth of his character remains unknown.

So even the development team struggled to work out Steven’s nuances. This is why we decided to leave it to Chō to depict Steven’s image.

His performance was gentle, but with a sense of overwhelming scale, as if he had descended from on high.

Chō is the father of Steven, so to speak.

His Smile Hadn’t Changed a Bit

After recording, he joined us for a photoshoot.

He gave us an innocent smile, just like the one I remember from elementary school.

AUDIO FILES

15_01 [Steven] I remember a movie about a group of astronauts killed by an artificial intelligence they themselves developed. That's humanity for you; they'll sacrifice everything for demons and gods they birthed from their own imaginations, and lose themselves completely in the process. But that purity is humanity's greatest strength and its greatest weakness; it's exactly what makes humans human. [TN: obviously, he is talking about 2001: A Space Odyssey]

15_02 [Steven] With you it was Naraku, and I think with the other you it was the Harajuku police station. The first time we met I believe it was, "Will you find a ray of hope in a place the sun doesn't reach?". Now that fits the description of a certain somebody who hacked the Ministry of Defense's PCs to distribute the Demon Summoning Program, heh heh heh heh.

15_03 [Steven] Technically speaking, I used to be STEVEN, but you can still call me that, I won't mind. But let me just say that it's SteVEN; not PHEN, VEN. Say it with your teeth on your lower lip; I'd appreciate it. Up to you, though. [Editor note: The fictional SMT character was known as STEVEN in Japanese (and changed to the written form of スティーブン in SMT4/A albeit still officially romanized as STEVEN). However, the English localization spelled his name as "Stephen" because well, Stephen Hawking. Whether this distinction was intentional from the start from the Japanese side or this was a reversal Herlock Sholmes situation, who knows. Either way, his name is pronounced the same in both languages]

Mido/Chafūrin/Forbidden Anonymous Report

Human or Demon?

At first Mido didn’t even have a portrait, and wasn’t counted among the characters with unique voice actors.

But the demon fusion system is the jewel of this entry, and the staff in charge of system development wanted to make it stand out.

Taking their wishes into consideration, we decided to have Chafūrin play Mido.

Refined Uniqueness

To say nothing of his voice, Chafūrin’s hair and clothes are very refined, and he has an exceedingly stylish sense of presence.

In spite of myself, I couldn’t help but have big expectations for Mido’s recording.

Stylish and Crazy

Mido is already a character who would willingly give up his own humanity, so he isn’t exactly in his right mind.

The Mido Chafūrin played during the test recording had a much more stylish image than we thought he would.

We gave him a rundown of the image we had in mind and had him do another performance.

After comparing the two, we decided to proceed with the “stylish and crazy” Mido Chafūrin played.

The Recording was a Battle with My Ab Muscles

Those who know him may understand this already, but Chafūrin’s voice has a strange charm that slowly grows on you.

He has a tendency to boldly exaggerate every bit of Mido’s lines, and you might find yourself about to burst out laughing.

I had to put up with the desperate urge to laugh in the middle of a serious recording, and if it had gone on just a half hour or so longer, my abs might have collapsed.

Just Like Going on a Bar Journey

The recording ended without incident.

We’d gotten to the time of evening where the bars are about to open, so we naturally began talking about alcohol. Like, whether rice or noodles are better for a last meal of the night after a bar crawl.

We began getting deep into topics like whether you should cut shochu with dark or light low-alcohol beer, like in a certain travel program about touring different bars.* *[TN: Yoshida Rui no Sakaba Horoki (Yoshida Rui's Bar Journeys). The Japanese header namedrops it, referring to "Sakaba no Horoki".]

When I remember that conversation, I start wanting to eat vinegared mackerel.

AUDIO FILES

16_01 [Mido] Welcome to the Cathedral of Shadows, where demons gather! And congratulations! From this moment on, you'll live within the Extraordinary that lurks in the shadows of the Ordinary! That's right, by activating this app, you've stepped into a zone far beyond the human world!

16_02 [Mido] What do I look like to you? I bet I look like a weird digital geezer. But this form is proof that I successfully grasped the reality of the human mind and transferred my own soul to the Expanse. I'm a superior species of geezer, so to speak. And not only that, I've successfully fused myself with a demon native to the Expanse. Right now you can only see me as an old guy due to issues of data capacity, but if you saw my true form… You'd be too scared to open the app.

16_03 [Mido] When I was young I spent all my time with that Steven, immersed in researching how to convert emotions to digital information. Steven was the one who proposed the theory, but I, Meade Waugh, used my own body to put it into practice and become a cybernetic trailblazer! Goodness gracious, this body is fantastic! Without any pesky human relationships, I never need to worry about getting my suit dry-cleaned! I only regret that I can no longer savor those blissful times when I stuffed my face with vinegared mackerel and washed it down with some dark beer. It still weighs on my mind. [note: his old name seems to be ミード・ウォー? pronounced 'meed woe']

Masakado/Nakata Jōji/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Majesty of Tokyo’s Guardian Deity

Many readers are probably familiar with Nakata Jōji as the voice of Q, the shopkeeper who sells weapons and armor in the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado.

But Q isn’t the only representative character he plays.

Some of you may recognize him as the character responsible for the game taking place in two settings, the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado and Tokyo.

Nakata plays none other than him: Masakado.

Switching Modes Before Recording

In contrast with the humble Q, Masakado is a majestic, imposing character.

Nakata was supposed to do his promotional autograph after all the day’s recording was over, but he asked to do it right after recording Q. He wanted to cut Q’s energy off before going into Masakado’s recording.

I saw his spirit as an actor in this request. I thought an aura of quiet and solemn majesty began to grow from him the more he moved his pen.

Masakado is rooted firmly within him.

A True Guardian Deity

His Masakado was a guardian deity for sure.

Just listening to him, the courage to take on God’s Chariot or the demonic Tyrant wells up within you.

Definitely keep a slot in your stock open when you head for Ginza to bear Tokyo’s hopes on your shoulders.

The Stage for the Battle is Set

This has already been published on paper, but Masakado also has a design from the neck down. If you want to see it……

If you don’t know what we’re talking about, give the information we’ve released up until now another good once-over.

Nakata’s majestic voice just might bear down on the protagonist in hostility this time.

AUDIO FILES

17_01 [Masakado] Behold my form. I am Masakado, guardian of Tokyo and great spirit of earth. The boy entrusted with destiny, the boy who found himself in the Colosseum, the boy who became a demon, or the boy who was once in the Counter-Demon Force… It matters not who you are. If you have become the hopes of the people, I shall follow you.

17_02 [Weapon Shop Guy] You wouldn't think it, but when I was little I too wanted to be a Samurai and fight for the sake of my kingdom. But selling weapons and armor to the blessed Samurai, I have many opportunities to listen to them, and they seem to be having an awful time of it. They worry for their superiors, they worry for those at the Monastery, and of course they worry for their compatriots. I now consider it a blessing I was never chosen by the Gauntlet.

17_03 [Joji Nakata] Hello, I'm Nakata Joji. I think some of you may know this, but I played a cat named Gouto in Devil Summoner: Raidou Kuzunoha. If you know, you know. He was the cute black cat. Anyway, this time, I played a number of roles in SMT 4, some of which were pretty important! In the game I turn up in many different positions- standing in the players' way in battles, selling weapons and armor, and handing over very important items, so look forward to it. Please fully immerse yourself in the world of SMT 4.

The COOL☆ Way to Jump Over Obstacles

Stepping over the threshold, you find seven enemies.*

*[TN: Reference to a proverb, 男は敷居を跨げば七人の敵あり( “Stepping over the threshold, a man finds seven enemies”). It basically means, keep your wits about you when you grow up and step out of your house and into the world, because you never know who might be out to cause you harm. The “seven” is just a symbolic number standing in for “many”.]

Here are some moves that will allow you to clear any obstacle in the level known as the World.

Move 5: The Shuffle

Obstacle spotted by the wayside. This time we will represent it as a tissue box. Set your direction, and using the foot opposite to this direction to launch yourself…

Jump over the obstacle. The key is to do it without exerting yourself.

And land. At this point, if you’ve already done the steps to make the jump, your landing will be COOL too.

Cross the foot opposite to the one you landed on and strike a pose. You haven’t just jumped over an obstacle now. You’ve jumped over your own limits.

Burroughs/Kaida Yūko/Forbidden Anonymous Report

The Fairy in the Gauntlet

As soon as you think you can do a surprising amount of things in the world by yourself, you realize that all those things are a pain in the butt.

Even when you eat alone, if you don’t talk with the other people in the store, you’ll have to pick out all the ingredients and seasonings by yourself.

The protagonist of this game must have also had a hard time fulfilling his duty alone.

A Fairy for Real

Burroughs is played by Kaida Yūko.

When she appeared at the recording, she was gorgeous, just like the “fairy” in the Gauntlet.

Burroughs doesn’t just appear in events, she gives you support with the game’s system and the tutorial, and has lines for just about every scene.

We of the development team want the players to have a comfortable experience, and we think that’s best communicated to everyone with a lovely female voice, rather than the deep voice of a middle-aged man.

A Fairy Again

Actually, Kaida did another recording after finishing her work for the game itself. She also did the narration for the promotional videos.

Not just the development team, but the person in charge of promotion took note of her voice’s power of persuasion and Burroughs’ appeal.

Some readers may know this already. The narration for the fourth trailer currently viewable on the website and the title call in the TV commercial is Kaida’s voice.

A Fairy Three Times

She put in a particular amount of effort for the TV commercials.

When the development team got the pilot version, we ended up deciding that we wanted her voice to give it a more mature finish.

She cooperated with us in the midst of her very busy schedule and did a third recording session.

“Shin Megami Tensei IV”. Just to give us that one line.

Until I can be called “Master”

On the left you can see us after recording. We requested a smile for the photoshoot.

In contrast to her unreserved gaze towards the camera for the sake of this request, despite my best efforts, I couldn’t even manage a half smile.

I wonder if I’ll be someone worthy of being called “Master” when the next series title is announced.

AUDIO FILES

18_01 [Burroughs] Lovely weather we're having, Master. On days like these, don't you humans just want to forget about your duties and laze around all day? All right, I'll give you an extra day off. And I'll go tell the Monastery to keep an eye out for a flagrantly falsified report.

18_02 [Yuko Kaida] Hello, I'm Kaida Yuko. I played Burroughs. Will my voice reach Masters all over the country? Burroughs is the character who spends the most time with all the players, so I strived to do a performance that sounded pleasant without too many mannerisms that stood out. A little like a reliable older sister. I'm here to support your comfortable gaming life. Journey onto the stage of SMT 4 with me.

18_03 [Burroughs] This was long before you were born, but the people of Tokyo once used communication equipment similar to Gauntlets in their daily lives. I think they were called smartphones and feature phones?

We’re at That Point, so Let Me Say it/Almost Time to Move On/Forbidden Anonymous Report

I Know it’s Sudden…

This morning, I got a notice from the higher-ups to complete this blog. Should I take this as a “step up”, or as a “fall back to the center”? This is the story of my own choices.

I know this is sudden, but I’d be happy if you read this report as an editorial postscript.

Take care not to get possessed until the day we meet again.

A Definite Response in the Feedback

This is only within the scope of what I myself have been able to check, so I apologize, but I can definitely feel a surprising response in the support I’ve seen for Isabeau.

Isabeau doesn’t get the indulgent treatment common with female characters in other works. We made sure to always center her character around the themes of the story, and use her concept to discuss those themes.

I’m encouraged by the fact that even though nowadays works are full of female characters who seem to embody male fantasies, with predictable “character types” and excessive attention drawn to their body lines, there are still plenty of users in the market who “get it”.

A Definite Response

Even now, when I look back on the horrors of getting the script done before the deadline, I’m as moved as Hideki* was every time I hear the voices in this work. *[TN: Reference to a commercial for Vermont Curry where singer Hideki Saijo says "Hideki, kangeki!" (Hideki's moved!)]

The staff in charge of game events who skipped their days off to edit the script, the administrative staff who helped send the script out, and the promotional staff who helped out so much preparing the voice material for this blog.

Then, the coordinator, who worked everything out even with the frequent script delays and made these recordings possible. And of course, the voice actors who breathed life into these characters.

To everyone who worked on these recordings……

Thank you!

AUDIO FILES

19_01 [Raphael] I am Raphael. God's solace resounds through my name. I hear that a popular song in your world sings of children of men as flowers, all special in their own way. Indeed, such is the Lord's teaching. All children of men are children of our Lord, equal in His eyes. Thus every one of you is special. [TN: idk which song he's talking about..]

19_02 [Michael] I am Michael. God has no equal; this resounds through my name. If you children of men repeat not the mistakes of your foolish forefathers, if you exalt our Lord Almighty, if you eat not the Forbidden Fruit, no wickedness shall take root within your hearts. O wise ones who hearken to this voice! Will your future hold such glory as befits our apostles in the new Millennium? Or will you suffer God's wrath, laid low at Armageddon and cast out with the Snake?

19_03 [Uriel] I am Uriel. God's fire resounds through my name. If you have heard this voice, you pass muster as a warrior of light on a par with us four Archangels. Do not betray our Lord's expectations. I have wrestled with you children of men and I have delivered you prophecies, but if I find you to be unclean, I will not hesitate to burn your face to ash that I may never see it again.

19_04 [K] Let me recount the legend of a hero passed down in the Eastern Kingdom of Mikado-- not one so great as Aquila, mind, but a hero nonetheless. This isn't public knowledge on account of the Monastery's controls, but some decades ago a demon erected a Domain in Naraku. Many Samurai fell prey to this demon. Now the Commander at the time couldn't just leave this matter be, so he let the demon plunge its teeth into his own arm, then took his chance and skewered it, arm and all. The Commander could fight no longer, so he became a tavernkeeper. They say he's there to this day, watching over the young Samurais' progress with his one good eye.

19_05 [Charon] The souls of those who took their own lives wash up here on occasion. And when they get a look at this riverside, it's always the same: "Oh, it wasn't supposed to be this way!" These misguided nuisances choose death on a moment's impulse or out of plain naivete, and all it does is give me more work. You had better believe I charge them a massive return fee. The market price is three times the usual, as compensation for inconvenience.

19_06 [Chiwa Saito] Hee-hello, everybody! I'm Saito Chiwa. I've been here since Soul Hackers. In SMT, I started with the Hee-Ho demons, and I've actually played about five more people-type characters… People-type, that sounds really weird… So I thought it'd be fun if I could do it being conscious of, where am I now?, and all that… Anyway, I did the Hee-hos, and before I started I thought I'd give the voices recorded in Soul Hackers another listen, and thinking I really had to do that myself, it really calmed me down! The game itself is very much for die-hards, but that 'ho! ho!' tic, it's relaxing! I try to really relax and get comfortable, but actually I have to convey that dangerous and precarious quality, and I have to keep that balancing act all by myself, and that's the hardest part. Right. I managed to put things pretty well while hee hee ho ho'ing. Or, well, I'm not right now, but, well, I did it. And in this game, I did what I could, and hee-hos will gladly be your demons, so if everyone can relax and be fends-- I fumbled my words, friends with them, I'd be really happy. This has been Saito Chiwa, nice to meet you all, ho!

Download link (includes raw data with the audio clips, original text and translation)

#smtiv #shin megami tensei iv #translation

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abrandnewshadow · 1 month

Text

2005 mcr newsletter [email] about the founding of skeleton crew

"SKELETON CREW ONLINE

To whom it may concern,

Hello friends, this is Frank from My Chemical Romance. First of all, I would like to thank you all for helping my dreams come true. I cannot express my undying

gratitude for your support of this little band. You have made it possible for four kids from New Jersey and one from Chicago to make a difference in this world. Thank you, thank you, thank you, from the depths of my polluted New Jersey heart, thank you.

Ok, so now that the mushy stuff is out of the way I wanted to tell you about something that's going on in my life. I am clogging up your inbox with junk mail to let you know that I have embarked on a new creative adventure. Over the past few years, I have met lots of extremely talented people… tons of them. The thing is, I have not only become friends with these people, but I have also become a huge fan of the art they create. When that happens, the next logical step is to figure out how to work with them in the best capacity. So I wanted to start a company or companies that would be able to showcase the talents of my friends, my heroes, and the people who inspire me to live each day of my life as if it were my last. What I came up with was Skeleton Crew (skeletoncrewonline.com). Skeleton Crew is a record label, book publisher, and clothing design company. I figured if I was going to do it, I might as well do it all. I have always had a passion for record collecting, especially rare releases. If I'm a fan of the band I have to have it all, it's a sickness really. So Skeleton Crew Records will put out limited edition releases, colored vinyl, picture discs, and things I would want as a record collector. Basically whatever the band wants to do, we will put out. Some of the bands you might have heard of, some of the bands you might not have. The one thing they will all have in common is that I like them, which means they are worth checking out. (I have wanted to start a record label of my own for years, I'm really excited.)

Skeleton Crew Publications will release books written or illustrated by musicians, artists, athletes, and just all around interesting people who have something to say. I want to create a different forum where art and ideas can be presented. With media some of these artists have not experimented with or explored yet. I think this division of Skeleton Crew is the most interesting, and the one to definitely keep your eye on. We will not censor any of the artists, they will have full reign over what they create. (Again the only thing the authors may have in common, is that I am a fan.)

Last, but not least, is Skeleton Crew Clothing. This is not a t-shirt company! I can type it again if you didn't read it the first time…this is not a t-shirt company. I have nothing against t-shirts, some of my best friends wear them, and I enjoy them as well. All I'm trying to say is that Skeleton Crew is a clothing design company; we are in the process of developing a fall/winter line that will involve more than just screen printed t-shirts. You will be able to wear nothing but Skeleton Crew products for weeks straight to any occasion or destination and never think twice about whether your uniform is comfortable, appropriate, or fashionable. The designs are rad, I must say so myself. There are teasers on the website for you right now, but we'll keep you in anticipation of the clothes for a little bit longer.

This is a business that has a greater good in mind, Skeleton Crew will donate a portion of all profits to different charitable organizations, decided upon by the artists we work with. I have a feeling you guys are gonna enjoy what we come up with; at least I hope you do. Skeleton Crew will have a booth on upcoming Warped Tour dates on the East coast. I will drop you guys a short email letting you know when exactly that will be.

Until then, go to the site, skeletoncrewonline.com, you can email us for additional information. So far it's been really fun and hard just developing this project, I can't wait to get things rolling and hear what you guys think. I created Skeleton Crew from my heart and with my friends so I hope you check it out. Thanks for reading, I'll see you at the show.

keep the faith - frank m.c.r. & s.c.."

posted by bringyrbullets on lj

#2005 #revenge era #skeleton crew #frank iero #my chemical romance

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brisquad-unit-4402 · 2 years

Note

Is it ok to ask for hurt-comfort with shu based on this tweet?

https://twitter.com/galacticidiots/status/1617931636687122434?t=_32nzHkqmlCRZZfbknSZBg&s=19

You used to look up to him but suddenly he grew colder and you didn't know why. So you chose to be a brat and make him your rival, only to find out you broke his heart due some misunderstanding

Thank you so much (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

trading a heart

woaaaa. WOAAAAAA, anon. that’s such a good prompt i’m gonna lose my mind. woaaaaaa. i could snap wood between my teeth that’s such a good prompt. WOA. it was so good that i wrote over… 11k words… if you’re not going to read it all in one sitting remember to like/rb so you don't lose it

tags: friends to enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, kinda slow burn? i guess it counts as slow burn for a tumblr post

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You are a witch in a small town. The paranormal comes naturally to you in divinations, and your tarot readings are well-received among the superstitious. One way or the other, your readings herald the inevitable, and you’ve more than earned your reputation as one of the best diviners in the area.

Spellcraft, however, was a learned skill, though one you’ve honed for a long time. Your best friend in both life and magic taught you his techniques in return for some of your future sight. You were no slouch, and you had a repertoire of other practitioners’ wisdom in your book of shadows, but at the end of the day, there’s a reason why your clients come to you for tarot rather than talismans.

Still, it doesn’t mean you aren’t willing to flex your muscles and try something new! You regularly scrounge online stores for spell components on discount. Usually you expect a bushel of nightlock here and a dubious animal remain there, but today was the Powerball of witchy bargain bins. One of the most reliable online stores you’ve ordered from just sent an email to their newsletter advertising a tinted glass jar with a preserved object and liquid inside.

USED, PURIFIED - Genuine Organic Sorcerer Broken Heart - Fresh Vintage Natural Human Heartbreak Essence, 100% Ethically Sourced from Licensed Sorcerer for Cleansing, Blessing, Cursing, Hexes, Spellcraft Witchcraft Sorcery Wizardry, 1-CT Solid Preserve 8.4 oz Sustainable LIMITED EDITION LIMITED STOCK, the caption said.

So like, HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

You glanced at the $19.99 USD price tag and didn’t even hesitate to click ‘Buy Now’. Thank God your browser saved your information. If you lost the race for such a valuable material at such a low price, you would never forgive yourself. You wait in anticipation as the website processes your purchase.

Of course, the heart was a necessary organ for the body itself to function, and to rip it out of a human would be just plain organ trafficking. Magic practitioners, however, have discovered spells and rituals to force the soft essence of the heart- the soul of a person and where their emotion takes root- out from the body while keeping the physiological heart in tact, often to be used as a powerful amplifier to spellcraft. A human heart is hard to come by, but considered one of the highest quality, most luxury components a practitioner could use, especially if the emotions captured from the heart essence matches the intended final result of the spell. The more intense the emotion, the more impressive the effects of the product.

Not only that, but the hearts of magical humans were even more potent than an average person. Their metaphysical studies grant them more awareness of their heart essence in order to connect themselves with the universe and its forces at large, and allowed them to understand their emotions with awareness. More awareness means the emotion is stronger without some of that pesky doubt, and stronger emotions mean powerful ingredients. Magic literally courses through the essence of the sorcerer’s heart, meaning it’s easier to use than the typical dose. If you were a collector you’d be even more delighted. After all, no magic practitioner in their right mind would sell their heart, so their power is only exceeded by their rarity.

You’re taken to the receipt page, and you silently cheered at your computer. You’re about to have a blast experimenting on all sorts of rituals with this bad boy.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The next day is a relatively quiet one at your sanctuary. Open from late morning to evening, the sanctuary sells oddities, spiritual goods, and spellcasting materials, but anyone who’s seen your little establishment knows the real draw is the owner and their fortune-telling, always too eerily accurate to dismiss as just coincidence.

You can easily sum up your clients of the day in just a few breaths. You had your usual handful of newcomers: most of them asked about their love life’s latest emergency, but a small percent wanted readings on wealth, and just one person asked for a reading on the health of their mind, body and spirit. Some of your frequent stay-at-home mothers visitors came in for fortunes, and as always you loved listening to them titter and gossip about the latest PTA drama. To cap it off, you were beginning to get close to a new regular, a young university student trying to navigate the workload as a straight-A student in high school as well as courting with a girl in one of his classes.

All in all, a good day of work. A few minutes before closing, you figure there won’t be any other customers for the rest of the day. You make use of your time cleaning the tables and reorganizing a display case of crystals- early that afternoon a horde of preteen emos entered your store noisily, ogled over the pretty rocks, and left it a mess, and you’re hoping none of them stole anything- when the wind chimes by the door clattered against one another, signaling a last-minute visitor. You speak before you turn to look at the person. “Hello. Welcome to-“

You glance at a pair of blocky sunglasses, then your eyes meet bright amethyst. The sorcerer in the threshold takes the sunglasses in his hand, and they disappear in midair with a snap of his wrist.

You aren’t used to seeing him in street clothes rather than his usual ritual garb. He wears his hoodie over dark hair accented by pink, purple and golden blond, and keeps his hands in his pockets. His eyes don’t waver. He’s focused.

You feel a chill crawl up your spine as you utter his name. “Yamino.”

“That’s me,” he says. There’s no joking tone to it. “I came here to speak to you.”

“And I said, my sanctuary is closed. I’ve got things to do.”

“Like watching Wednesday over a pint of ice cream?” Shu Yamino still has a sense of humor, but time has worn the warmth in his words away. Without it, his wit feels scathing to you. So what if Netflix and snacks were calling your name? That didn’t give him the right to call you out like that, whether he intended to or not. After all, you had too much of a history with him to consider intention anymore.

You evade discussing your post-work plans. “Like closing my sanctuary and going on with my day. Besides, I’m set to close in a minute. Better talk fast before I lock you out.”

“I came here for a reading-”

“Then you should’ve come here earlier-”

“-As a friend.”

The ice in your veins burns into hot anger. “We are not friends,” you spit. “You and I mean nothing to each other.”

“Then for old times’ sake, when we were.” He slaps a wad of cash on the counter, and as petty as you are, you’re just a little greedier. You count the bills. It’s way more than your rates for a single reading. Your eyes divert from the cash back to Shu’s face, trying to figure out his angle.

“Reader, I know our bond is…” Shu pauses, trying to think of an appropriate word. “...Strained, but you’re a gifted witch. I trust you and your abilities.”

You cross your arms. “Cool story, bro. Got any other cliches you want to tell me?”

“Think of it as a favor. I’ll be in your debt.”

“I’d rather eat my own foot than talk to you again.”

“Then I’ll get out of your sight after this reading. Keep the cash and call on me if you need anything in return, but until you do I won’t seek you out again. You have my word as a sorcerer.”

Your face is set into a grim frown. Shu’s presence alone was enough to irritate you, and his audacity to consult you was revolting.

However, the forty dollars extra on top of your usual fee alone is enough to persuade the cheapskate in your heart. The favor would be excellent if you were ever in a pinch, too- after all, as much as you disliked him, Shu was one of the most powerful magic casters in the area, and an esteemed sorcerer in his own right. You could ask him to perform feats average practitioners could only dream of.

Also, he’d stop bugging you. Thank God.

“I’ll do it if I keep the change,” you say.

Shu’s lips break into a smile. All these years and his smile still hadn’t changed at all, a pointed V-shape that reminded you of a cat. “Deal.”

He shakes your hand. That smile never changed, but the joy behind it did. When you used to call Shu your best friend, it was like a warm sunbeam, but the years whittled down the light, and all that was left was an unreadable, cold shade.

You place his money into the cash register, flip the door sign to read CLOSED, and enter the back of the sanctuary. Shu trails behind you without a word.

As much as you hated to say it, he had a point about ‘old times.’ Growing up, you two were inseparable. He came from a family of sorcerers and your lineage had the gift of foresight. Your magical origins branded you the outcast among your peers whether they knew of your abilities or not, and Shu was the only one that could relate to you for a long time. He was the one that taught you about conjuring and curses, and you helped him hone his own intuition. Intuition is the gateway to the magic of foresight, after all.

Even once you started networking with other magic practitioners, you’ve never met anyone quite like Shu. He was insightful and smart, with a good nature that can take a joke and keep a conversation going. He cared about others, but knows how to stand up for himself, and even though his specialty in curses can get macabre, you’ve never seen him lose sight of what he wants.

If you had to look back on your friendship, that was what attracted you to him for so long: even in his weakest moments, he stayed true to himself.

But that was then, and this is now. You don’t know what happened to him, but two years ago it was like a switch flipped somewhere in Shu’s head. The kind sorcerer you knew and (you were ashamed to say this now, but it was true then) loved began to act like nothing could touch his heart anymore. He was emotionless and dry whenever you talked to him, and talked to him, you did; you gave him every opportunity to let you know how you could help him, if something happened, if you did something wrong.

He never did. You snapped at him one day for insisting everything was fine while acting so callous. To be fair, you aren’t proud of how immature you acted. You should’ve just let your best friend drift away, as much as it pained you, but instead, the rift forming between your friendship turned into a chasm the day you fought.

Ever since, interacting with Shu Yamino was like planning moves in a cold war. Detaching yourself from your best friend since childhood was hard enough, but the feelings you held for him made it even harsher. The few times you spoke with him afterwards, you resorted to anger when he showed apathy, and the resentment grew even more.

After the initial arguments things just went silent. You focused on your career, opened a sanctuary all your own, and tried to forget about the hole Shu left behind. It worked, but only up until a few weeks ago. He’d been trying to get in contact with you for a few weeks now, and though you would’ve been relieved to hear it years ago, you were done with pretending like that friendship was salvageable, and tried to avoid him as best as you could.

You cast a curtain aside, revealing your private consultation room. The walls are covered in tapestries and drapes, and the corners are lined with short tables full of candles. One side of the wall is covered by a giant shelf with rows of divination tools, and sundried herb cuttings hang by the window before you shut the curtain and cast the room into dimness. In the center of the room was a table. Shu sits at the table on the side closest to the door, and you sit opposite from him, a deck of tarot cards in your hands.

You internally pray to any spirits nearby to grant you the strength to pretend like Shu was just another client and resist the urge to punch him in the face. Either they listened or you perfected your customer service voice, because your voice only sounds a little fake-happy. “So what shall I be looking into today?”

If Shu was feeling any negativity he was doing way better at hiding it than you. He wastes no time in asking his question. “Am I doing the right thing by pursuing love?”

A bitter thought dredges up to the front of your head. Of course he’d ask about love. Anyone would do anything for love, including talk to their loathsome old friend.

But you push out the thought for the sake of professionalism. “Let me clear the room.”

You close your eyes and your mind goes blank. You place trust in your sight and channel upon the abilities of your bloodline.

Outside your mind’s eye, candles alight the color of your magic, illuminating the contours of the room and the faces of the practitioners inside. You make a sign with your hands and utter an old blessing to cleanse negativity and encourage your intuition. As you do so, an otherworldly feeling descends upon the room. You did your best work when this blessing did its job, and you welcome the familiarity. You’re in the zone now.

You open your eyes. A veil of awareness casts over your vision as you shuffle your tarot cards. “Allow me to see with clarity and speak with conviction. Soul of the world, tell me: Is Shu Yamino doing the right thing by pursuing love?”

The cards spread under your hand face-down in a steady line. You know what to expect. Choosing the cards appeals to your instincts, but only after observing the energy the deck offers the client. Before long you pick out three cards and place them in a horizontal line across from Shu, then wave your hand to the remaining deck. The unchosen cards levitate and place themselves in a neat stack on your command.

You flip the first card. An armored knight atop a white horse beckons. “Death.”

The next was an angel, a graceful figure that pours water between two goblets. “Temperance.”

Finally, you reveal the last card. A judge in red sits atop her throne, a double-edged sword in her hand. “Justice.”

You breathe in the story the cards tell you, and begin your analysis. “Death heralds the end of a journey and the birth of the new. It’s no bad omen. Either you’ve changed as a person-” and you try to hide the bite of your tone- “-or you’re soon to enter a major change. I’m inclined to believe the former, since it’s the first card in your spread. That position denotes context and the matter at hand. Know who you are, and where you’re trying to go. It’ll be your driving force to keep moving as you navigate your love life.”

You clear your throat. “Are you single?”

Shu nods.

“And you love someone?”

“Certainly,” he says. That’s the most assertive you’ve heard him all day.

“Then trust them,” you say. “Your second card is in the center of the spread, and indicative of your actions. Temperance is moderation. She is calm and rational, and declares patience as a mark of diligence. She invites you to take the middle path, and avoid any rash decisions. After all, she knows that good things come to those that wait, and those that make the choice to wait are biding their time rather than being held back by inaction.

“In relation to love, her advice means that you need to take a step back and examine your past actions, as well as the ones you’re about to take in your love life. Love is a two-way street, after all. This is not the time to make big moves; instead, let the object of your affections come to you. They have their own choices to make, too. What will be, will be. Temperance is patience. Remember that.

“Should you continue down this path then Justice will greet you at your destination. Soon comes the reckoning where you can bear the fruits of your labor. I hope you have good karma saved up, because this is where it can reward you or ruin you. Whatever choices you inflicted upon others will return to you, and you had best be accountable for it.”

You cast your eyes upon Temperance next to Justice. “Justice also calls for a decisive choice in a moment of uncertainty. In this case, I’d imagine heeding Temperance’s advice is what will grant you a merciful resolution when Justice delivers. After all, in love readings, Justice can represent a need for you to trust your partner. I’d imagine that’s only strengthened by how Temperance encourages you to trust the person you care for. Honesty is key here. So is that trust. When you accept that the object of your affections has their own life to live, and give them the room to live it, they’ll realize their own feelings about you. Be ready to accept them whether or not they reciprocate. Wherever your bond goes after it, it’s going to be built upon a foundation of understanding, faith, and truth between you.”

You exhale, and you and Shu sit in the silence of the room.

Shu’s face is as unreadable as ever. He looks down at his spread, his lashes covering his amethyst eyes. He silently moves his lips as he thinks, totally lost in thought, but you can’t pinpoint anything about how he’s taking the reading.

“So is Death my past?”

“In a sense. The position also represents your current self. Something must ‘die’ in order to move on from one phase of your life to the next- namely, the phase that your reading foresees. That can include a death imminent or one that you’ve already accepted and moved past. That’s up for you to determine.”

“How do I know what needs to die?”

“I can’t tell you. You have to reflect and figure out what you need to let go of yourself.”

His mouth lowers into a frown. “That sounds inconvenient.”

“Uh, I read fortunes, not minds. It’s not like I know what’s going on in your head all the time.” Dealing with you would be much easier if I could, you add on in your thoughts.

Shu mumbles to himself. “I wish you did.”

“You know what? Me too,” you retort. Shu’s been pushing too many of your buttons, and you can’t even hide your irritation anymore. “Are we really about to get into this again?”

He meets your glare. You can’t even tell if he’s angry, but those eyes are so bright and pointed, it makes you feel like you have a sniper laser pointed in the center of your face. “Reader. Things happen. I thought we were over it.”

“Clearly not! Even after all this time you’ve been so unresponsive whenever I talk to you.” Your face tenses into a grimace as you speak. The candles around the room flare tall and flick in your colors. “Look, if we’re still talking about how I reacted? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked so much about it. But I was concerned, and you have no right to just look at me like I’m subhuman! I just did a reading for you that by all means I could’ve refused and you’re going to complain? I thought I taught you better than that.”

At that, Shu sits up a little straighter. That’s the most surprise you’ve seen him express since your first argument. You’re high on getting a rise out of him, now. You want to see him squirm. Or do anything other than that stupid unreadable front. Your voice grows in volume as you rant at him. “You know what? I should’ve refused. I can’t believe you. You have the nerve to come into my workplace and make me stay back late because we used to be friends and- and I don’t even know you anymore. We’re not friends. And I guess what we used to have doesn’t mean anything to you now, because if you do then you wouldn’t be bitching about my readings the way you just did.”

He speaks up louder, but it’s barely a whisper compared to your unleashed anger. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then how did you mean it? Does it matter? Is ‘what you mean’ going to fix everything? You’re ridiculous if you think so. After all we’ve been through, you stepping foot into my space was disrespect enough, and now you have the utter indecency to pretend like my readings are meant to stump you-”

“I never said that-”

“‘-I wish you did,’” you mock, and he bristles. “When you of all people should know that it requires thought! It’s self-reflection, not a quick fix! You dare disrespect me like that! In my sanctuary!”

Shu stands up. “I think I need to go.”

“Congratulations, you finally used your intuition correctly! I’m sooo proud,” you sarcastically say. You snap your fingers. The remaining tarot cards flick to the deck in time as all the candles in the room blow out, except for one. The consultation room goes pitch black, but one thick pillar candle by your seat illuminates your face through a ball of flame much too powerful for its wick. “Get out. Never talk to me again, you piece of human trash.”

You feel a brisk tailwind behind you as Shu awkwardly leaves. You try to revel in how uncomfortable he must be, but the discomfort spreads to you and gnarls at you in your chest.

Everything about Shu makes you feel like rot, but the gnarl is new. You stay in your chair, lit only by the candle beside you, and slump. You stare straight ahead in the dark as the gnarl runs through your body and the white-hot rage subsides into resentment.

You think back on how his apathy broke during your spat. To see him break his apathy was what you’ve been waiting for over all these years, and inciting it was like feeding the hungry monster that thrived on hate. In that moment, you were alive. What frozen feelings you had turned to lava, but now, there isn’t even a temperature attached to the monster gnarl.

You let out a grumble that doesn’t even begin to express the gnarl.

“Is this hate?” You wonder out loud. At this point, you know there are three inevitabilities in the known universe: death, taxes, and Shu Yamino being the human incarnation of dirt. Like a fact, the emotion behind the argument is gone, and for a moment you think that this is what it’s like to be the emotionless Shu, empty and hollow save for the gnarl of negativity deep inside, biting through your core, dyeing your mind gruesome colors and spreading down the system like watercolor.

You can’t deny it at this point. Over the last two years you gave him all the time in the world to rethink himself, from the arguments to the silence to even the reading he so rudely walked away from. It’s his own choice now to brush you off and act so high and mighty and cold.

It seeps into your skin like water on a stone statue. The feeling is like nothing you’ve ever felt before. Raw and unfiltered, you realize it in a steady rhythm. Never in your life have you felt this way. You hate Shu Yamino.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You return to your home seething. You’re completely done with everything the last two years threw at you, and the only thing on your mind is the newly discovered hatred.

You brood over the evening, and by the time it’s your day off, you’re just as grumpy as you were the day you read Shu’s cards. Netflix be damned, nothing can turn your brain off from the boil and churn of the gnarl. What you wouldn’t give for him to learn a lesson or two.

No. You scratch the thought out. Shu had more than enough time to get his act together. If anything, it’s about time he understands exactly how much pain he’s put you through.

You think about possible revenge plots when your mind drifts over to the rare, potent ingredient you bought on a deal one night. You still haven’t used your sorcerer’s heart.

The monster gnarl takes over.

You enter your office, a wide room with a clear floor and spell components all along the shelves. A cauldron sits over an unlit hearth, and blackout curtains give you just enough light as needed for certain spells. The decorations in this room are plain, but nothing is out of place. You put a lot of effort into making a workplace you can concentrate in.

A bookcase stands next to the door, and you run your finger along the spines of spellbooks. It stops at a grimoire labeled Unconventional Curses for the Discerning Practitioner. You smile. This was a book Shu gave you years ago before your friendship soured. It would be awfully ironic if his undoing was a curse just like his specialty, invoked by his enemy from a book he gifted to them when they were friends.

You slide the book out and place it in the center of the room’s floor, where you intend to sit. But first, you dig through a storage container of your finest components. You don’t need to rifle through it too hard before you find it: a jar made of dark glass to hide the preserved object inside from the light.

With utmost care, you pick the sorcerer’s heart out from the container, and place it in front of you as you sit down beside the grimoire. You kept the label when the sorcerer’s heart was delivered for easy identification. The retailer sold it as a ‘broken heart,’ which referred to immense negative emotion when the essence of the soul was removed. However, that was all the information they provided. It would probably be a good idea to use your foresight on it. The last thing you want is to waste some of the essence on an incompatible curse because its emotions contrasted with the curse’s foundations.

You chant your favorite blessing and feel the veil cast over you, just as you did during your last tarot reading. “Allow me to see with clarity and speak with conviction.”

That familiarly otherworldly feeling comes again, and already you can feel the basics of the sorcerer’s heart. The negativity invested in it, for example, lived up to the name. Misery dominates the heart.

You crack open the jar, and lift the lid by the tiniest amount, enough to get hit with the chemical smell. It reminds you of a hospital. “Show me what this heart has been through.”

The scent carries you through the misery, and breaks it into smaller chunks. Hope must have existed here once, because if not, then how do you explain the overwhelming regret?

You identify some core values the heart holds. Whoever sold their heart must have treasured their loved ones a lot. You close your eyes and see visions of the original seller from their point of view. You watch them continually give themselves away for the sake of others.

Sure enough, the seller was a sorcerer. You recognize the magic they cast as curses to those that scorned the ones they care about, and conjurations to those who need them. Additionally, they were likely a professional practitioner as opposed to a hobbyist, considering how often they cast.

As you meditate, you file through the memories. The most recent before the heart was removed were all punctuated by inactivity. Perhaps a moment of depression or loneliness before the heart was sold? The memories get foggier the further back you go, but they all summarize into isolation. The root of the misery, you presume. They’re too lost in thought that they don’t interact with the world itself.

“What were you thinking so hard about?” You muse.

The heart dissolves your vision. Loneliness is the first thing you identify, and you’re not surprised. The hands of the sorcerer are young, but you watch them age before your eyes into prominent veins and thin bone. They’re afraid of living their entire life alone, you conclude.

You hear laughter and voices around the sorcerer, old and haggard in a blank void, and recognize it as celebrations. Strangers and their joy of milestone landmarks, grand events like renewed vows and children, to even simple things. You hear the pop of a cap removed off a marker and know on instinct it’s an important test graded perfectly, and in another a song of a student practicing by themselves. That loneliness is so stifling they’re missing out on basic joys of life. They’re too worried about a hypothetical future far away from now.

Your breath hitches when you recognize one of the voices. It’s Mrs. Yamino, Shu’s mother. You hear the pride in her voice as she describes her son, and the sorcerer’s heart pulses in uselessness. Unease sets in, but your curiosity just needs to know, and you focus in on Mrs. Yamino.

The heart leads you in the direction of treasured people from the life of the sorcerer. Shu’s parents are both close to it, and things start to fall into place when you realize you recognize most of these blurry faces. There’s not many, and you don’t know them like the back of your hand, but you can connect the dots. You’ve exchanged words with a handful of these people, or heard mention of them over time.

Your own heart freezes when you meet the eye of yourself. A perfect copy of your face. The copy is soft over the blurry vision but you recognize the details of yourself, from the rise of your cheekbones to the slope of your nose, the way your brows quirk and the flecks of individual color in your eyes. You clock the shirt you wear as one from- from two years ago.

The copy of yourself doesn’t open their mouth, but you hear their detached voice drive icicles under your skin. “Disaster comes.”

You snap out of the vision. You feel your own heart beat in your chest.

You seal the jar and take in your surroundings. You’re back in your office, and the chemical smell dissipates away. You’re breathing heavily, and feel a trickle along your forehead. You brush it away, and realize you were sweating.

“What the hell,” you say out loud, because what else is there to say? There’s no way. This couldn’t be any worse, but you need the confirmation. You feel gross, but- there’s simply no way you can believe it unless you hear it from the heart itself.

Your hands wrap around the sorcerer’s heart, and you open the lid once more, even more cautious than the first time. You take a deep breath in hopes of steadying your own beat. “Heart, please be honest. Do I know your owner?”

As your vision goes dark, the black is only brightened by marks of pink and purple magic. Your heart sinks when you recognize the insignias they form. Pink curves into geometric heart-like shapes, and the purple spurts out from it in flame. A single shikigami from white paper brushes against the hearts.

You close the jar of the sorcerer’s heart- Shu Yamino’s heart- as tight as you can.

All thoughts of gnarled revenge go silent as you desperately start looking through your contacts. You never had the guts to delete his phone number, but now you’ve never been more grateful to have it available.

Reader 7:48 PM: I figured it out

Reader 7:48 PM: Why we always fight over nothing

Reader 7:49 PM: We need to talk about it

Reader 7:50 PM: Call me ASAP

He doesn’t respond. You don’t even know if he opened your texts or not. You try to be patient and distract your mind, but this is just too big to ignore, and you blow up the messages of his social media next.

Over half an hour passes without a response from Shu, and the time only makes the dread stronger. Everything makes sense now. Of course Shu would be so apathetic about everything for the past two years, he literally cut out his own heart. Anyone without the essence of their own heart would ignore their own emotions, because they don’t have emotions to experience!

However, one thing is nagging at you. Why on Earth would Shu sell his heart? He was more accredited than you, and you were doing just fine financially managing your sanctuary. Surely he couldn’t be in a tight enough spot to sell his heart for cash. He’s single and in love, and you didn’t get the vibe that he was going through a bad breakup, especially since it’s been over two years since he removed his heart. How do you stay in love without a heart? How do you pursue love from before selling your heart? And why was his heart’s vision of you so clear, God, you were one of the clearest visions you saw in an ocean of blurred faces!

More time passes as you desperately research what to do, and you notice Shu hasn’t read a single one of your messages, even on the platforms with read receipts. Even when he isn’t in the room, he still finds a way to tick you off.

The gnarl tries to rise, but you stave it off. By all means, you shouldn’t care so much about him after all you’ve told yourself, but he really is someone you’ve never found a replacement for. You’ve spent so much time in your past with him that it feels wrong to just keep his heart as some kind of object. You think about all your arguments, and… you wonder exactly how much of it was affected by the fact that he lived without a heart for so long. You never felt good about standing up for yourself, but you were justified, and you weren’t going to regret it at all, but you’re wondering about how much of a hero Shu is in his own story, and if he really sees you as the enemy you imaged him as all this time.

You stand up, still a little shaken, and take his heart in your hands as you look around for a bag, a jacket, and your keys. Even if he’s not the person you once knew, even if he always makes the choice to hurt you… He’s still a person. And the gnarl feels nightmarish, and you don’t want to be ruled by it anymore. You can’t leave him out to dry like that, and you deserve the closure even if you never talk to him again.

You lock the door behind you, and book it to Shu’s place.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

You rap on Shu’s door one, two, three times. No response.

You pout at nothing, and knock another three times. “Yamino! Shu Yamino, I know you’re in there-”

The door opens before you finish your knocking and your sentence.

Sure enough, the man of the hour is on the other side of the threshold. The nicest way you can put it is that he looks like a doll that was left under the bed for too long. His eyes are so bright, but you can see the slight redness underneath his eyelids, and it strikes you that he hasn’t been sleeping well. He’s wearing a different hoodie than the one you saw him wear earlier that week, but it’s a far cry from his usual outfits, even when he’s relaxing at home.

Shu cocks his head, and you realize you’ve been silent this entire time. You jostle your head and muster up your courage. “I need to talk to you.”

“I thought you didn’t want to see me again,” he says.

“I did, but then I found this.” You rifle through you bag and shove the jar of the sorcerer’s heart against his chest. His body curves at the light impact. “We’ve got a lot to discuss. Let me in, please. For your sake.”

He stares at the preserve of his own heart for one, two, three seconds, before moving to the side and inviting you inside.

His home smells like patchouli burned and on the edge of fading, and despite everything, it’s as organized as ever, but that doesn’t stop him from saying “Sorry about the mess.” The house is small, but full of open spaces as you remember it, and you both sit on cushions in one of the emptier rooms. You can already feel the tinge of magic in this room, and you assume this is one where he practices his magic.

Sure enough, you blink and in front of you is an empty glass. Small licks of purple fire surround it, a mark of Shu’s magic. You bring it to your lips and you don’t even need to imagine your favorite beverage in order to taste it. When you lower it, sure enough, the drink is inside the cup without a trace of flame. This was one of Shu’s favorite welcoming conjurations whenever you visited in the past, and it lends you more comfort than you’d like to admit. Some things really don’t change.

Despite the familiarity, you set the drink down, and look straight at Shu. His preserved heart is to the left of you, out of his reach. You start your story. “I bought a practitioner’s heart on a bargain site ages ago. It was advertised as a sorcerer’s broken heart. The site’s words, not mine.”

You elect not to mention how you almost cursed Shu’s name into his own undoing. “I was about to use it for a spell, but I wanted to do some identification on it so I knew exactly what to expect from it. You deserve an apology for that. I saw a lot. I always knew you were hiding something, and I’m sorry that it came through magic after you sold your heart, instead of you telling me directly. But that’s how I figured out that it was you. I saw so many people I recognized, and the common factor between all of them was that they were all important to you.

“I checked the receipt email from when I bought it. Yeah, I was surprised I still had it too. But both the date when I bought it and the date when the site said it was extracted checks out with about the same timeframe you started to act so weird around me. So that’s why, isn’t it? I always got so mad at you for being so callous. I still do. But it’s because you’re missing your own heart. I’m not going to apologize for defending myself when you were acting like a prick, but I don’t think I can fault you for it. Or at least, not entirely.

“But all things considered, whether you intended to hurt me or not, you did. A lot. I’m going to remember the things you told me for a long time. But I’m also going to remember our past friendship for just as long, and you’re very lucky for that. What I want is closure. You always told me everything was fine, but you sold your own heart. Clearly things weren’t. And I don’t want to force you to tell me everything, but I just need to know. Were all our fights because I never knew you lost your heart?”

You observe Shu carefully. He closed his eyes as you recounted your story, and his chest slowly rose and fell in time with his breathing. He hasn’t taken a single sip of his enchanted cup, and the purple fire dances around the brim, waiting to fulfill its purpose. He looked serene as a painting, and you’d even believe it if it wasn’t for the grisly truth in a jar.

“Well, I do want to explain,” he finally says, after much deliberation that looks like nothing. “I should’ve been less of a coward and just told you. It’s always been you, after all. I sold my heart because I love you.”

What.

“What,” you say.

Then the shock sets in. “I mean. What? Like- you just- I mean- what?”

“I said, the reason why I sold my heart was because I was in love with you. Still am.” He averts his eyes and scratches the back of his head, but his serene apathy doesn’t change. “It was too much to bear, so I removed my heart.”

“I heard that.” The blood rushes to your head. The perfect answer to the mystery shatters. “I just don’t understand. I don’t get it at all. Are you messing with me?”

“I would never. Not over something as important as this.” “Then what am I missing? Why would you remove your heart because you’re in love? And- and with me! What the hell do you mean, you’re in love with me?”

“I figured it out about three years ago,” Shu said. “But I remember how I viewed you way before then. Things change, whether you want them or not, and it takes you a lot longer than you’d expect to realize it. I look back on what it was like growing up together as friends and compare it to how I saw you years ago as functioning adults, and there’s movement there. Feelings get stronger over time, and it’s unlike anything I’ve felt before. You’re an amazing person, Reader. I hope you realize that. Even through all our fights, I always thought the world of you for being able to simply hold your own. You don’t give up on the things you care about, and even when we did fight, I knew in the end you were in the right, even when you weren’t correct. I never could be. I didn’t have a heart, after all.

“I digress. I felt the warmth and the lightness way before that moment three years ago. I figured it was a crush then. Who wouldn’t? You have an energy all to your own that just gravitates people to you. I guess it makes sense I’d be affected.” Shu’s eyes cast downward. “But we’ve been such close friends for so long then, and for a crush? I wasn’t about to throw it all away for something as insignificant as that, especially when all my crushes before cleared themselves up quickly enough before they could get me into trouble. I made peace with ignoring it and just being happy as your friend.

“That worked for a while. The crush faded, and I’ve never been so relieved, until weeks or months later when it returned. Rinse and repeat. Every time I thought my crush was over for sure, it would only be a few more days until everything just comes back in droves, and over time, I realized I wasn’t even getting over it like I thought I was. It comes in waves of intensity, but it’s always constant, and always just a reminder that you’re one of the people I care for the most. That was three years ago. I realized that much time and that much care, even when you went through your lows, could never be something superficial like a crush. That’s when I realized I loved you.”

You have to admit, you’ve been hanging onto his every word but still have trouble wrapping your head around it. That long? And you had no clue?

You place your hands over your mouth and cheeks, and hope it hides your hot blush. All of it is so unexpected. You speak up. “That’s where everything went wrong?”

“Almost. That was when I was starting to make a name for myself as a sorcerer for hire. Lucky timing. We didn’t talk as frequently as we used to because we were both paying more attention to our careers, and for me, made less time to think about my love life. It was easier.” Shu finally takes a sip of his enchanted cup. When he places it down, you smell espresso and a hint of chocolate. “It’s so stupid. I visited my parents for dinner one evening, and everything was fine, but they mentioned that I need to get out more. Find a partner to introduce them to and all that. It was just another subject when we were talking, but I laid in bed that night thinking I couldn’t just move on after so much time stuck on you. I had to make a move.”

Shu raises his wrist and curls his fingers. The coffee spirals out of his cup and dances in the air just a few inches out of the mug, but not a drop spills as he bends the stream into patterns. You recognize this as one of his old nervous ticks. “But let’s be real. I’m a pretty spineless guy. I spent ages agonizing over how to tell you.” The coffee curves into a heart, just like the ones that generate whenever he performs a spell. “You and I both know my intuition’s pretty bad. I was so sick of wussing out, I tried divining my own future so many times to figure out what I need to do. Tarot cards, runes, tea leaves… none of it made sense to me. I couldn’t muster up the courage to ask anyone else for advice, either. You were the only person I could ever trust, but you were also the only person on my mind. And then I realized, of course. The best person to ask about confessing to someone, is that person themselves. I requested a reading.”

An epiphany dawns on you. “I remember that. It was the last time you asked me to read your fortune before this week, just over two and a half years ago.”

“I remember my spread so viscerally.” Shu lowers his hand. The coffee plops into the cup obediently. “I didn’t have the courage to mention my love life, so I asked you-”

“‘Will I be happy with the choices I plan on making?’”

You both say it at the same time. Shu’s lips form into a small smile, but the look behind his amethyst eyes is bittersweet.

He continues. “The Hermit, the Tower, and the Moon. The Hermit explained that I’ve spent so much time being introspective that I became too much of an introvert. And the Tower, that disaster comes. The Moon only confirmed that my future outcome would be full of trickery. Pretty gnarly reading. Plus, it came from you, and even if we didn’t know each other so well, I’d be an idiot not to heed a warning like that from one of the best divination witches in the city, if not the best.

“By the time I left your sanctuary, I resolved to get over my feelings for sure this time, but it just sent me into a depression. I isolated myself so much from the world outside and the things I used to enjoy because that reality was so crushing. Which was to be expected, but not for as long as it was. The more time I spent alone, the more time I had to think about how none of this was your fault. It was because of these emotions of mine.”

Shu places a hand over his chest. Even at home, he wears a pair of white gloves. His nails scratch through the fabric and against the skin. “I tried fighting the urge, but after six months, I gave up.”

His hand curls into a loose fist. “It’s the greatest regret of my life. I still feel, but it’s all mechanical, and my brain processes it like fact. I can look at a cat video and smile, but it doesn’t give me anything, and I’m sure we all know it looks fake anyways. I don’t remember the last time I laughed genuinely. I haven’t been properly afraid of anything ever since the soul was extracted out of my heart. I have a sense of danger, but no anxiety. No thrills, either. If anything, it made me even more cautious. No reason in doing things the risky way anymore if there’s no fun in it.” He leans back and stares at the ceiling. “I don’t process anger or sadness anymore, either. I thought it was amazing at first, but now I’m just bored at best, miserable at worse. Without any emotion to fuel me, my life’s in disarray. I don’t even get access to motivation anymore. And worst of all, the depression and love is still there.

“I think you can piece together what happened next. You were concerned over me, but I always brushed you off because, well, how do you talk about your feelings without having any? Whenever we fought, I’d spend the next few days beating myself up for what I’m missing. I can’t pick up on a lot of emotional cues anymore, so it got even easier to say the wrong thing, and whenever I did, I didn’t have the empathy to see where I went wrong. It became easier to just ignore you, and when you stopped talking to me so much… I can’t really fault you for taking the easy route either.”

Shu downs the rest of the coffee, and you realize just how small he looks right now. He slouches over the cup, and his legs are folded over his thighs as he sits. You don’t think he realizes that he’s trying to take up as little space in the room as possible. Now that you’ve been able to actually pay attention to Shu’s demeanor and his story, you’re starting to pick out the tiny details of feeling that show through, even when the sorcerer himself can’t access the raw emotion. Case in point: his lowered eyes and subtle frown makes you think he just got back from a funeral.

You poke him in the bicep. “You’re pretty clueless.”

His brow furrows, like a mourner disturbed.

You continue nonetheless. “No wonder intuition is so difficult for you to channel. Life isn’t black and white, and divinations come in shades of gray way more often than any other category of magic. Remind me; what was your reading all those years ago?”

“If I’d be happy with the choice to confess to you. Hermit, Tower, and Moon.”

“Hindsight is 20/20. The Hermit represented how much you reflected on your feelings and trying to avoid them by the time you came to me for a reading. You got that much right, I’m sure, but the Tower is a tumultuous change. You’re right that it’s disastrous. In fact, I think the reason why you got so tripped up in the reading-” you playfully roll your eyes- “that I analyzed for you, was because it has such a reputation for being disastrous that people forget that the Tower isn’t suffering for the sake of suffering. In fact, the Tower falls because it’s built upon a weak foundation, and its destruction warrants necessary change. It’s often that the changes predicted by that card are only so hard because the recipient is caught off-guard by the possibility that it could happen, or by playing right into the future that would cause such a major change to happen. I think you can figure out what kind of change the Tower was predicting, and exactly how disastrous it was.” Shu lowers his gaze to the empty space underneath his chest, and that’s about as well as either of you can put it.

“Finally, the Moon may warn of trickery, but more importantly, it refers to complexities. The card art itself is full of similarities, from the buildings to the canines in the center, and that symbolizes difficult choices ahead that require a lot of forethought. Avoid deception, especially deception from your own doubts. The night is dark, and the Moon’s light is how you navigate through with trust in your gut feeling.” You try to keep a cool head as you continue explaining the reading. “And when it appears in readings about love, it represents uncertain or complicated feelings. That’s a pretty apt description of the fallout when you sold your heart. You did it because you were tired of all your conflicting feelings, then dealing with the removal of said feelings, and I know I didn’t make it any better by acting so immature and lashing out at you.”

“It was a self-fulfilling prophecy, wasn’t it?” Shu asks.

“Any divination is a glimpse into a possible future. No path is certain until you embark on it,” you say. “I’m sorry to say it, but you went down that path.”

Shu hums in response. “I really am an idiot.”

“A lucky idiot.” You reach for Shu’s preserved heart, and hold it in your hands. “A lot of practitioners would pay top dollar for this thing. I bought it for $19.99.”

Somehow, that was the most insulted you’ve seen Shu yet. “It sold for that little?”

“Bargain hunting has its benefits.” You shrug. “Every single human heart for sale has some kind of story, and if you buy one, then you have to be at peace with that. But when I figured out it was yours, the idea of keeping it creeped me out. I have to be honest, most of the reason I came here was for closure, and I’m glad I got that, but you don’t have any at all. You really deserve it, though.”

You take Shu’s hand in yours, then press the jar into his palm. “Want your heart back?”

He stares at it. His face is totally blank. “More than anything.”

“It was a twenty-dollar bill and some change. All I ask is that you swear that you won’t be a jerk when you get your heart back. And dinner.”

“You’re giving it to me?”

“You need it more than me.” You take your hands off the jar. Shu’s hands keep it secure instead. “Get yourself together. Put your heart back where it belongs.”

“But it’s removed. How do you just put it back?”

“I did some research. There’s a ritual we can do together.”

“Together?”

“Technically, it’s more of a solo conjuration thing. But I’m not totally sure how good replacing the heart on yourself is going to go, so if you need anything, you can count on me. I brought some pages on common procedures about the soul of the heart.” You sift through your bag and produce a bunch of papers. Each one is a photocopy of a tome from your personal collection, or a verified practitioners’ site. “Lore doesn’t state any limitations on practitioners nor witnesses involved. And just to be sure, I did a ton of research on the active components and method. It’s safe. But of course, I don’t want to pressure you into doing this if it’s not something you want to do.”

“Let me look through some of these myself,” Shu says. “But, Reader, I’ve caused you nothing but hurt because of my own selfishness. Are you really serious about letting me have this?”

“Listen to me, and everything I’m about to say.” You place your palms over Shu’s and look straight in his eyes. “Nothing is going to change the past, but we’re not bound by it. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. You screwed up, big time. But that was a bunch of mistakes, and everyone makes mistakes. That’s only human. You put your heart back where it belongs and make amends for yourself, then that’s redemption. Everyone deserves redemption just as often as they make mistakes.”

You sort through the papers on the floor, and separate the ritual procedure from the rest of them. “Also, you gotta realize how weird it is to own your heart and not even be your friend. Take it. Don’t let me be one of those weirdo witches,” you joke.

The sorcerer scans through the ritual’s instructions in silence. After he’s done with it, he picks up each piece of paper you brought with you, and reads those too. He brushes his finger against the text as he reads, and you look over his shoulder. Whenever his finger scrolls along an important passage, a pink highlight remains on the paper.

“I don’t want to be a nuisance,” he says.

“You aren’t.”

Shu takes a breath, but his eyes don’t leave the ritual instructions. “You remember where I store my components, right?” You hum in agreement. “You have every right to deny it, but Reader, is it okay if you help me replace my heart?”

“About time you finally realize you need help. Nothing wrong about asking for it.” For the first time in years, you smile at Shu himself. “I will.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“I invite what may be returned to me, and to my soul, I beckon thee. Allow the severed to be healed and the heart to be sealed. On my heart, so I declare it be.”

Shu sits in the center of the room, surrounded by a circle of purple candles blooming in brilliant magenta flames. You sit across from him enclosed by the fire, and the jar containing his heart is fully open. As Shu chants the final words of the incantation, the preserve inside of the jar evaporates into a smoky gas that curls around the air before embedding itself directly into his chest.

The flames break into ash and dissipate when the remnants of the preserved heart erases itself, and all that’s left is the liquid it came in. A shikigami breezes across Shu’s closed eyes, heralding the end of the ritual. The magic still hangs in the air like residue, and so does the silence after the plume and crackle of fire.

Shu’s eyes flutter open, caught in the haze of sorcery, and blink. With each blink those amethyst eyes grow brighter and waver as he takes in the world around him. His lips part, and his irises search around as he presses a hand to his heart. You notice the fabric of his hoodie fold around his fingers.

You don’t even need to study him carefully to recognize the way that the corners of his mouth slowly upturn. You catch a flash of teeth, and his cheekbones rise enough that his eyes squint.

“Did it work-”

You don’t get to finish your sentence. Your breath hitches in your throat as you’re enveloped by a strong hug.

“Reader!” Shu calls your name, and his voice is so light, almost musical in tone, pure relief and joy. “Reader! Reader, it’s back. Everything is back.”

You didn’t have any time to react, but your head is propped up against Shu’s shoulder, and you listen to his high voice, almost childlike in wonder. “Everything’s back.”

His chest rises and falls against your body, and you realize he’s crying. He hiccups. “I’m so happy. I never thought I’d feel happy again, but- but I am, and I feel…!”

You finally comprehend the situation as Shu weeps, and let your arms wrap around his body. You pat his back and rub circles against his spine as you close your eyes and lean into the crook of his neck, tightening the hug. His raven-black hair brushes against your face. It’s soft.

Shu finally parts from the hug when his tears start to dry, and you’re struck by the absence of his warmth. He paws at the remaining tear tracks on his flushed cheeks with the back of his sleeve. “I’m so sorry for everything, Reader. I’m sorry for getting you roped into this mess.”

“What are friends for?” You say.

His forehead raises. “We’re friends?”

“Now that you’ve figured out your own problems, sure. I stopped considering us friends because I thought you hated me.”

“I could never.” Shu’s face falls. “Even when we fought, I always thought you were too good for me. You deserved better than how I treated you.”

“But I always flew off the handle with you. I wish I could’ve understood you, or at least acted reasonably. I’m sorry I was irrational.”

“You had a point.”

“It’s in the past anyways. I’m not forgetting this, but I’m going to forgive you. And by the way, I don’t want to overwhelm you right after you got your heart back, but are we going to talk about how you’re in love with me?”

“Oh my godddd.” Shu’s hands collapse over his face. He lets out a long-suffering groan. “I can’t believe I said all of that.”

You shuffle into a more comfortable position next to him. “Were you just never going to tell me?”

“I didn't want to after the reading. I was afraid, and then right when I removed my heart I didn’t see a point. Being able to see you happy was good enough, but then you were never happy when you were around me, and then I didn’t see you at all. I mentioned that I don’t- I used to not feel fear, right? I thought we’d never see each other again. So when you showed up at my doorstep and just started asking questions, I didn’t even blink before I answered them.” Shu sighs again. “I’m so embarrassed. This whole heart thing was the worst way you could’ve figured it out, and you weren’t even going to reciprocate.”

You stare at the floor. “How did you figure that?” You ask.

“There's no way I'd have a chance. That reading ate me alive, it was so bad. Or I just made it bad because I misinterpreted it…?” He trails off in thought, and his hands drag down his face. His amethyst eyes are puffy, and sparkle with dried tears. He looks like a kicked puppy. “I don’t know, just that I messed up hard. Don’t make it sound better than it actually is.”

“I mean, it kind of is. Better, I mean.” You’re very interested in the grain of the hardwood at this point. Anything to distract you from the heat rising in your face and how admitting this feels like pulling teeth. “I, um, really felt something more than friends for a while. I liked you. A lot. You’re unlike anyone I’ve ever met, and so is the feeling.”

Shu grabs your arm in surprise. You feel your body tense. “You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m serious,” you mumble.

In a moment Shu realizes he’s touching you, and jerks away awkwardly while his hands slap over his mouth again. All he can manage to say is a stuttery “O-oh.”

You both sit in the silence of your blush. Your own thoughts pile onto each other with such frequency that you begin to forget where all of it is leading until you force yourself to calm down. Each thought paints one picture: The feeling was mutual for so long.

“I need to be honest with you,” you say. “The feelings for you? They’re a jumble. I know that they’re real, and I know that I liked you before we stopped talking, but when we did, I was hurt. Everything I feel for you is so strong, but I don’t even know if I’m still mad or attracted or what after the last few hours, and- ugggh.” You quietly growl as your thought process hits a wall. You throw your neck back and look up at the ceiling. “I have a lot to figure out, and it’s late. But let’s stay in contact this time. I want to know you again, and I want to know if the feelings are still there. If this can happen.”

“I’d like that,” Shu says. His arm drops to the side, and he exhales as he does. His body relaxes. The corner of his eye still shines from when he cried, but his lips bear a smile of awe. You see him as he is, a man exhausted but euphoric, a hiker at the apex of a mountain. “You liked me too. I can’t believe it. I must be dreaming.”

“If you still think you’re dreaming…”

Courage possesses you as you thumb away the last of his tears and press your lips against his cheek.

Shu turns to you as you back away from him, and watches you like a deer in the headlights. It takes him a second to raise his fingers and brush where you kissed him, but when he does, his face blooms in shocked color.

Then he jumps. “Ow!”

You giggle a little as he reacts to you pinching him. “If you were dreaming, that would’ve woken you up.”

Shu’s eyebrows knit together in frustration, before he remembers where he is and what just happened. Now that his emotion is back, his face is a journey from pouting to surprise to amazement, and when he takes you and your own nervousness in, he squeezes his eyes shut and lets out one tiny, high-pitched squeak from pure happiness.

“That’s adorable.” You laugh again and stand up. You pick up your bag as you walk away, but stop before you leave. “By the way, we agreed I’d trade your heart back if you bought me dinner. I’ll close my sanctuary early on Friday, so go think of somewhere nice to eat together.”

“Wait.”

Before you turn the doorknob and leave Shu’s home, the sorcerer approaches. You cock your head, signaling him to speak. “Reader, can I kiss you?”

You close your eyes and nod.

Shu places one hand on your shoulder and the other behind your head. His gloved fingers stoke your hair when your lips meet.

You lean into the kiss while Shu holds your head at just the perfect angle, and you feel all the ennui from the past two years crumble.

Longing, respect, faith, love; it all comes through the way he presses against you. You feel against the muscle of his back and relief floods through the kiss.

Enchanted, he smooths down your hair, and shivers when your hands trails up his back and along the nape of his neck. Shu holds you close and flush to his chest, and you swear you can hear his heartbeat crying out in satisfaction. This is where he’s meant to be, after all. All of the puzzle pieces fit together like lips locked.

You part when you run out of breath, and rest your head against his chest. His heart thrums in time with yours.

“Let me escort you out,” he says, and you let him lead as he takes your hand in his. The door shuts behind you. “I’m grateful for everything.”

“You’re welcome. I’m just glad you’re back to yourself again,” you say. “I’ll be looking forward to Friday.”

“Wait. Is it a date?”

A hidden slice of your soul smiles. You squeeze his hand. “It’s a date.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

#shu yamino #shu yamino x reader #nijisanji x reader #nijisanji en #luxiem #4402 writes #OOOEEEUUOOUGHGHHH i think this prompt mind controlled me for the last five days straight #i put a lot of thought into the fortunes here idk why all my shu writing gets so pagan tho

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nhi-theuserof-this · 1 year

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Noir hcs!! (+punknoir!)

These are based on BS and nobody can stop me because I’m the author >:)

Ok so this list also doubles as self promotion but we aren’t talking about that right now ✌️

Also content warnings! I’m keeping it light but like general warning for noir having poor mental health, nothing terrible or explicit brought up and hcs end on a light note

-he’s recruited to the spider society specifically due to basically his entire life getting shaken around like those little glitter water jars

-the events of itsv changing his mentality ->therefore changing how certain events were supposed to go

-he near exclusively shows up to use their infirmary

-he doesn’t get sent on missions due to not having a no-killing rule

-he primarily starts going by ben at first(not only as a differentiator for author) because he’s quite detached from his own identity as a person and needed a fresh slate so to speak

-now he just likes going by ben since hobie is the one that started it

-he goes to therapy with spider therapist. The bill goes straight to miguel

-he’s aroace, he has no fucking clue what the terminology actually is, just knows he’s got no romantic intention when kissing and holding hands

-punknoir. Need I say more?

(yes I need to say more.)

-he and hobie getting together is simultaneously a gradual thing and also just absolutely random. They get closer as time passes but there’s absolutely no beating around the bush when it comes to saying their feelings to each other

-he starts growing a pot of flowers shortly after they get together and is going to gift them to hobie when they start to bloom so they can plant them in his(hobies) universe

-hex codes. Something about them

-there’s a group in the spider society that write a newsletter about what he gets up to because people were interested and a little worried about him when he joined

-he does not know there’s a newsletter about him. There’s probably a subplot about that going on its merry way right about now

-he’s trans he’s so trans literally the most trans of trans look at him and his misery and tell me he isn’t trans

-on that topic he does not like his face

-he also loves hearing his own voice, he’s not gonna go out of his way to talk all the time but he’s really proud of the general control he has to get it that way. I’d be proud too actually

-continuing, he just passes so well when I think about it. Deep ass voice, pretty tall, and whatever his build may look like, he’s got a fire ass fit with that coat and hat and stuff

-speaking of the hat, he’s quite fond of it and has had it for a while, he likes to personify it for bits and quips sometimes

The post is getting a bit long so I think I’ll make another part at some point, if you enjoyed any of these I greatly recommend reading my series!! [Link] I put my heart into it and I want you all to love it too! Things are getting a bit busy but I’m working on another main work as well as outsiders pov with more of the newsteam

Take care all! <3

#how we feeling on that subplot idea btw #happening parallel to bs but focused on the goobers #i’d probably demote alanis to a one off character though ngl #since she’s not mine and allegedly is going to be paired with miguel #anyways I do realize they’re invading noirs privacy so that’s gonna be a plotpoint for sure if I did that #noirpunk #punknoir #ao3 link #spider noir #itsv noir #itsv spider noir #punknoir spiderverse #noirpunk spiderverse #nhiwrotehere #nhihashcs

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madaboutmunson · 2 years

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Ok because the other two little fics were so well liked my brain could stop thinking about it.

So we've got how the song in question was written, the song when Corroded Coffin make it big, so consider this one the last time that song is ever played live by Corroded Coffin.

It starts with a little shocker so I've hidden the story under a read more so people don't accidently read it, in case it upsets anyone, but trust me when I say it's not all doom and gloom 😉 I got you 💚

The day the news of music legend Eddie Munson passing breaks, it plunged the world into deep, dark despair. A shocking departure that stopped newsreaders in their tracks to announce it.

The bombshell news was plastered everywhere for weeks, billboards, posters, newspapers, magazines, murals, tv show opening monologues, and this thing slowly emerging, the internet, had its forums full of theories as to what had happened, as no announcement had come from the Corroded Coffin camp as yet.

There was no sign of illness or injury. No accident or crime details. He seemed to have just...died.

The outpourings of condolences from countless heavy metal icons, hundreds of celebrities, some of which you would never have even guessed, liked Corroded Coffin, millions of fans worldwide held candle-lit vigils and sang their songs sombrely acapella in meeting places all around the world.

A week later, the band finally released a written statement.

"It was during the hellish times of high school that Eddie found us, protected us, guided us and forged this band of brothers that would go on to conquer not just our fears but the entire world. Impossible dreams came true countless times over, but now we sit in a waking nightmare at the loss of our leader, so now our time must come to an end.

A band is a sum of its parts, and with any one of us gone, this is simply not Corroded Coffin anymore. So it is with the deepest sadness but no regrets we have to say goodnight to you one last time.

Thank you for sticking by us all these years.

Remember to look out for one another.

HFC 4 Eva

The Remains of Corroded Coffin"

With the statement is an announcement that there will be a tribute show organised by Corroded Coffin, but they declined to play all but one song, which a special guest on guitar.

A month later, the tribute show goes ahead, but no stadium can hold it due to demand, mainly because the band had to fulfil Eddie's final wishes.

One of which was causing the most problems, Eddie wanted every member of the Corroded Coffin fan club to get the first refusal on a space at the tribute show. So no matter where in the world they were from, they were invited and their travel expenses paid, or something set up so they could join the live feed.

Eddie had jokingly set up the fan club at a merch table in the early days. It got you a Corroded Coffin badge, a hand-painted d20, a poster, access to a monthly newsletter/comic and a hand-drawn membership card signed on the back by the band, all for the price of five dollars. As the band grew, the fan club pack stayed the same, except the merch was better quality, it had to be mass-produced, and the price was lowered to one dollar.

The band also often had membership cards on their person or gave them out for free to fans that wanted them through their music charity for kids living in low-income areas.

So as you can imagine, there were thousands of potential attendees, but if you didn't have the card, you weren't getting in, no matter how much money you had or how famous you were.

The crowd is a sea of Corroded Coffin fans of all ages and all walks of life.

The first people out on stage are Corroded Coffin.

All of them.

The three band members wheel out an enormous coffin encased in rusted metal sheets with haphazardly driven rivets to keep it together, standing up tall, onto a platform at the back of the stage. They do this in absolute silence. The crowd is so hushed that on the recording, you can hear the ting of someone dropping a can.

Then the chants start, "Eddie! Eddie! Eddie! Eddie!" Hauntingly fierce like an army ready for battle, they know they can't win.

It spreads across the ocean of fans like a ripple of deafening voices.

Then the concert begins. Not only is the lineup littered with some of the most famous musical artists in the world, but also many of Eddie's favourite bands, and to introduce each of them is a celebrity pairing.

Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley. Prize-winning journalist and film director, respectively.

Tech Whiz Kids Dustin Henderson and Erica Sinclair.

Internet entrepreneur duo Jargyle.

Jim Hopper and Joyce Byers. Heads of a missing children's charity.

Award-winning scientists Mike and Will Byler.

Novelist Lucas Sinclair and Skateboarding legend Mad Max.

Then lastly, a fan favourite, Eddie's Uncle Wayne. He had made a cameo appearance in every video they had ever made, was on every concert video and was always thanked in the album notes.

"It is my greatest honour that the boys chose me to introduce the last performance of the evening. I know this song was his favourite, and many of yours also. So without further ado...Sadly, for the final time, Ladies and Gentleman, I give you Corroded Coffin," he shouts finally over the crowd's roar as flames shoot out of the sides of the coffin on stage, and the three remaining members walk out.

They say nothing and launch into the heaviest song Corroded Coffin ever wrote.

A lead guitar joins in but with no guitarist to be seen.

As the song draws to a close, a man walks out in a denim battle vest a little too snug for him, his hair voluminous but dishevelled. He's holding the prop guitar.

He swings it around, smashing it into the floor behind him, and with an almighty swing back in front of him, the guitar must know this is its last show because the body splits in two. The man rips the neck of the guitar out of the body and holds it above his head. The fake blood spills out of his mouth, and the tears flood down his face as he punches the air in time with the Eddie chants before he blows a kiss at the crowd and then one at the coffin.

There is a curtain call for all involved as pyros and flames fill the air around the stage until the last fan leaves the area. Then the curtain finally drops.

Everyone heads backstage or to the trailers behind it for food and drinks.

All except one person. Steve Harrington.

He looks around to ensure the coast is clear, approaches the giant coffin structure, and puts his hand on it, still warm from the flames.

"I never did find the right time to tell you this, and it looks like I'm too late." The tears prick his eyes again, and the first one that escapes down his cheek causes the rest to follow in droves.

His sobs are so loud he covers his mouth to quiet them for fear of anyone overhearing, "I love you, Eddie. I just didn't know how to say it, I-I d-didn't know if you felt the same, so I'd act like I didn't care and hoped you'd make the first move, but you didn't. And then you got famous, and were gone. I saw you a handful of times, and every time I wanted to tell you, something got in the way, or I chickened out, you know, because...well, because maybe you'd reject me and hate me or worse, you'd want what I did, and the press would eat you for breakfast. It would have ruined everything you built, and I couldn't handle that."

He runs his hands through his hair, bows his head, and presses his forehead against the warm sheet metal. "I couldn't take that chance because I loved you so much, so very very much, Eddie." He plants a kiss on his fingertips and presses it against the name plaque on the coffin. He lets out a final guttural sob. "See you on the other side, Munson", he manages finally and walks away.

He takes a last look back over his shoulder as he wipes the tears from his eyes, and Steve swears he sees the thing move.

He shakes his head and takes a few more steps, he can hear Eddie cursing under his breath in his mind, and it makes him smile.

But then Steve freezes to the spot because there is a loud clang behind him. He doesn't want to turn around and fix Eddie's coffin, but who else is going to do it, right?

"Well, that was suffocating!" Eddies voice rings in Steve's head.

Steve steels himself and prepares to see the worst as he turns back towards the coffin, only to find the front of it completely off its hinges, and standing draped in his guitar, with crumbs in his hair and hat with two beer cans in with straws, is one, very alive Eddie Munson.

Steve cannot move. He mutters, "Oh god, I've finally lost it."

Eddie looks at Steve with a perplexed look on his face, "Ah, yeah, you have" he puts his hands on his hips, "Keeping a secret like that from me for like a decade. First of all, how fucking dare you wait until I end everything to tell me, and secondly, get over here, you big stud, and give me some well overdue sugar."

"What...the...fuck..." Steve fearfully whispers to himself, "I'm actually insane."

"Eddie!!" Dustin's excited voice rings out behind Steve as he charges forward, embracing him.

"Hey, watch my guitar, you little shrimp!" Eddie giggles and Ruffles Dustin's hair.

"Wait a second now," Steve says, finger pointed out in front of him, slowly stepping forward, "You can see him?"

Now it's Dustin's turn to look confused at Steve. He scoffs out a laugh, "Well, of course, I can! Are you feeling ok, Steve?"

"But...but...but he died...again...is he like... immortal, or something. Like a-a vamp.. vampire?" Steve tries gingerly, moving closer, one hand still stretched out in front of him like he's trying to ward off something evil.

Dustin and Eddie look at one another in confusion and start laughing.

"Steve, have you sampled some of the special backstage treats?" Eddie asks and turns back to Dustin, "I mean, that might explain why he also just confessed he's had a massive boner about me for over a decade!"

"Really?" Dustin says curiously, and Eddie nods as he takes off his guitar. "Wow."

Then the others start piling onto the stage, all of Eddie's nearest and dearest, and all of them are smiling and laughing and joking, except for Steve, who is watching this happen around him until he erupts.

"How can you all be so god damn normal about this??!!!!! He's just come back from the dead. Not like last time when he passed out. He's been dead for like a fucking month, and your all just-just fucking OK WITH THAT??!!" Steve is yelling at the top of his lungs, hands gesticulating wildly at them all, still keeping his distance, and the group falls silent.

"Oh, no, honey," Joyce says soothingly, walking towards Steve. "It's ok, it must be really scary to see this kind of thing, but you remember, right? It's all just for show." She turns and whispers to Hopper, "I knew all those bumps to the head needed looking at."

"FOR SHOW?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN FOR SHOW?! IT WAS EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE" Steve starts counting on his fingers, "It-it was on the news, and-and in all the papers, and-and the fans did all those vigils" He points accusingly at the band, "You were at least three of those!!"

Robin's eyes go wide "Steve, it's me, Robin. Hi!" She approaches him slowly, "I'm real. We're all real here. Everything is ok" Once Robin is within arms distance of Steve, he pokes at her and squeezes her arm to make sure she is, in fact, real, "OW!! Jesus!!!"

She bats Steve's hands away, "Ok, enough. Listen, did you open the fan club mail this month?"

"The fan cl-? What the hell are you talking about?? Is this a nightmare? Am I dead??!! Is this Hell??!!!" Steve shouts into the air.

"In this month's fanzine, it explained everything. The band wanted to stop and spend time with their families and start new projects, but the press was getting to a fever pitch with them. Gareth had his bins rifled through. Jeff couldn't even take his kid out for his birthday without getting hounded. So Eddie came up with this plan. That way, no one gets blamed for breaking up the band. It just is no more." Robin explains compassionately to Steve.

"So the whole crowd, all of you and the bands, they all knew it was fake?" Steve asks quietly whilst everyone is still staring at him and Robin.

Robin nods but then adds, "Well, not the other bands. We couldn't risk it, but we and the fans are loyal enough to keep a secret. Plus, if anyone even tries to say they've seen him, they'll be labelled like those Bigfoot-spotting people."

Steve shakes his head, "But I'm not a member of the fan club?!"

"The absolute audacity!!! What, you fucking love me, but you're not a member of my band's fan club? What kind of half-assed groupie are you?" Eddie shouts, astounded and a little insulted at Steve.

Jeff turns to Eddie, "You knew he wasn't, man. You made him that special membership card at the hideout for valentine's day, but you never gave it to him, remember?"

"Shut up!" Eddie says through gritted teeth at Jeff.

Steve stands more confidently, his hands on his hips, "Oh, is that so?"

"Yeah, that's right", Gareth laughs, "And then when we were talking about this, you said you'd call him and tell him yourself, Eddie, remember?"

Eddie bites his bottom lip and tries to look as innocent as he can from under his hair, smirking over at Steve, "Did I say that? Really? Funny thing that... I don't remember"

Steve's eyes go wide, "Why, you little shit!!" Steve runs and lunges for Eddie. Eddie is laughing and yelling as he's being chased around the stage by Steve, who eventually captures him in a bear hug when he runs the wrong way around the drum kit.

"urgh...god...let me..." Eddie struggles angrily and tries to wriggle free as Steve squeezes him.

"Oh-hoh no, you are going nowhere, you little prick!" Steve says, squeezing him tighter, making Eddie's face screw up, "What you did, was so not cool!"

"I...only...did...it...cus..." Eddie tries to talk, but it is difficult. He can hardly breathe.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuses. You wanted to make me look like an idiot!" Steve says with an unimpressed tone.

Eddie's face is turning pink as he frantically shakes his head in a no.

"Oh, you didn't? Then why?" Steve says, loosening his grip enough for Eddie to take a breath.

Eddie's body sags a little as he takes a deep breath, "Because... I wanted to see if you'd be sad if I died." Eddie says quickly, "I mean, I didn't expect you to agree to headline and the whole speech, you know?" Eddie says, trying to hold back an adoring smile.

Steve squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head in disbelief, "You made me go through a month of grief to see if I would be sad if you died?"

"Well...it was supposed to be just a day, but then I got genuinely distracted by everything, and then it was two weeks later, and then I thought I could surprise you by jumping out of the coffin, and you'd be overjoyed and I'd say something romantic to maybe win you over, like..." Eddie looks everywhere but at Steve as he details everything.

"Like what? What could you possibly say to make up for that, you complete shithead!" Steve says with an angry squeeze, making Eddie wince and groan.

"That I fought an army of angels and the hordes of hell for one kiss from your sinfully perfect heavenly lips because you're my muse, my love." Eddie manages to get the words out with a struggle.

"What?" Steve says, lessening his grip.

"The songs I write, the ones with my name next to them on the albums, they're all about you," Eddie says as he catches his breath.

"What?" Steve says again, wholly bewildered and fully releases Eddie.

"Our first number one, the one that got a Grammy, and was used in a bunch of movies. That's about you. The um, slow one with the choir on the unplugged album, that's about you. The one we close the shows with, the one with no words, that's about you too. And loads more," Eddie says, adjusting his clothes, looking back up at a dumbfounded Steve, "What? You had no idea? You don't remember? in the garage? You corrected the spelling of sleeve, but it was supposed to be Steve. I just forgot to cross the t" Eddie looks between Steve's eyes for a glimmer of comprehension.

"Ohhh", Steve says finally and points at himself and smiles.

Eddie smiles back at this lovable weirdo and nods.

Steve claps his hands together and looks pleased as punch, turning to the others still pointing at himself with a look of happy surprise.

Everyone nods at him except for Mike, who throws his hands up, "Are you kidding me? The song we danced to at our wedding was about Steve??? Oh my god!" Mike has to be consoled by Will and Nancy.

Steve eventually turns back to Eddie with a massive smile on his face.

Eddie plays with his hair and looks coyly up at Steve swaying from left to right, "So I dunno, do you maybe wanna come live on a secret island with me for a few years until people forget about me, maybe? I mean, I'll have to get my hair buzzed first, and um, lose the whole rockstar get up" Eddie looks up hopefully and gives a cute little shrug.

Steve folds his arms and taps his lips thoughtfully, "Hmmm."

"OH, MY GOD! Could you grown-ass idiots just kiss already? I could be solving the mysteries of the goddamn world, ok? But instead, I'm stuck here waiting for a long-haired freak and his little ex-sailor boy bride to figure out what everyone else knew years ago!!" Erica shouts, exasperated.

"Apart from Mike", Dustin whispers.

"Yeah, except Mike, who is also on team dumbass!" Erica adds.

"Hey!!" Mike says, annoyed, and is immediately swamped by Will, Joyce and Nancy as Hopper pats Erica on the shoulder with a smile.

"Get offa me, sasquatch!" She says, rolling her eyes.

"Well, you heard the lady," Steve says with a smile walking with an over-the-top swagger towards Eddie.

Eddie grins mischievously, jumps up to grip onto Steve like a koala on a eucalyptus tree, and kisses him, once on the lips, with an audible mwah sound.

Steve looks at him with a laugh, "I hope you've got more where that came from because you've got a lot to make up for, Eddie Munson."

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