#ok lol real reason is cuz I wanted to write it in another post. just wanted to write real quick the sad

[shslpunkartist99]

I love how you told that other anon that you gave the sad scenario a happy ending and yet there's no happy ending in that recent Morgana angst you posted

Either you're talking about a different sad scenario or you changed your mind or you somehow forgot to give it a happy ending lol

Ok welllllll

The happy ending is locked behind paywall. $5 dlc

[fractualized]

I totally see where you're coming from with how you like your mix of comedy and seriousness and I think I'm really similar! I can definitely tolerate a lot of cheese but I'll almost always consider it a one off situation. I recently rewatched Batman and Robin while my wife was making a cast of my body so we could make cosplay and it was just so funny and silly that like it reminded me of what one of those really campy comics would look like in real life and I respected the fact that they could commit to it that way and make an artful movie that brought that to life but there were a few elements that didn't make sense to me like Barbara being Alfred's niece that I was just like whatever man and I knew I couldn't like... use it as a foundation for my basis of characterization, like I can with other media! I really love the animated series too, I grew up with it being my first experience with Batman and I always really respected it as a medium that I could trust to be satisfying and whole. I also really really liked Batman beyond because it felt like the closest continuation of that story even though I know it's really not canon and it kind of doesn't work, I like to view it as like a semi-official what if fan fiction from the original writers lol

I completely get what you mean about the comics, cuz I kind of view official comics like fanfictions even in their own right? I mean when you think back on like Bill finger and Bob Kane like eventually every other writer is going to be writing fanfiction of their characters but it's really fun to go through all the different Batman media and see whose stories you kind of like more and then whose stories you kind of tend to avoid

and when I mentioned I knew you liked comics, I was also speaking more from the perspective that you seem to have more knowledge about them Rather than I thought you had a preference for them, because you put together that comic PDF with batjokes moments and I was really impressed with that ☺️

i love your telltale fics and the games as a beautiful breath of fresh air into the life of batman so sometimes I like to imagine the animated series would be a great way to say where is juce 10 years later, if those universes were more cohesive setting wise lmao

Yeah, Barbara randomly being Alfred's niece is definitely one of the aspects of B&R that just… I guess it breaks up the campiness? That and Ivy being in love with Freeze for no discernable reason. And teaming up with him even though he'll kill her plants. And poor Bane! And then that weird bit at the end where Freeze is sort of forgiven but Ivy can't be? And Alfred almost dies. Should taken all that stuff out and added more camp.

I really enjoyed Batman Beyond too! I didn't even realize a lot of people didn't like it until recently. Honestly it's one of those things where I don't look into the reasons too much. lol I liked it and I'm fine with having liked it, no notes!! (OK I sorta lied. That bit in JLU where they made Bruce Terry's bio dad, that was bizarre.)

I am definitely in the "anything not created by Bill Finger and Bob Kane might as well be fanfic" camp. Like, sure, if DC puts resources behind a project, it has a better chance at being worth your time, but when I get down to it, I can't put a lot of weight behind the idea that someone's official derivative story is more valid than another someone's derivative AO3 post just because there was a cash exchange with a company that owns the original "asset." People who want to lean into that idea, that's their business.

The wild thing about the batjokes spreadsheet is I know that it's only a fraction of what's out there. I have read hundreds of comics at this point and I still feel like it's not enough to totally have a handle on things. Especially knowing how little I've retained. 😅 But that's another reason for the spreadsheet!

Thank you for enjoying my fics! And for implanting the idea in my head of a Telltale universe animated series… Just hijinks and maybe a little more murder with John and Bruce, bestest buddies.

[ofhiddenthings]

ok heres all the fiction podcasts ive listened to! roughly in order of how much i liked them. if anyone has any recs for things other than these to listen to please tell me i need more

the silt verses - oh my godd favorite podcast. i love its trans voice actors. i think it and eskew recently got added to the same network as tma but i listened to them before they were so i’m still cool. too good to spoil. page my beloved

i am in eskew - basically only putting silt verses higher because it’s not finished yet and eskew is. also the audio quality of silt verses is better. amazing fucked up city. the horror parts in this are better than anything ive seen anywhere else. henry if u see this idk if u listen to podcasts rn but this feels up your alley for sure

the strange case of starship iris - im soft for these characters.. theyre the best and i love them.. this is exactly my shit. im trying to find information on whether another season is coming but idk :(

limetown - if anything is a classic of the medium it’s this. it’s just really good. kinda hits the weird city button too... i basically made this list going backwards because it’s so much easier to talk about things you dislike about something than things you do

the penumbra podcast junoverse - setting took some buy-in but it’s great. love the characters, esp in s3. love juno as a narrator. i think the weakest element is the plots of the actual mysteries. mick and jet r my fav characters. tbh i think nureyev is the least interesting of the bunch. also it was bad and unnecessary when they killed a cat in that one episode. i don’t understand how i can love the writing in this and hate it in second citadel when it’s the same people writing lol

passenger list - omg i love it. the mystery is so good. gets kind of out there in the second season but for good reason. basically the only one where the setting is completely real

ars paradoxica - i haven’t actually finished this one because i wanted to save the rest for when i could pay better attention for them and now they’ve been sitting in my downloads for literal years but i LOVED the first two seasons. single best time-travel story out there.

within the wires - very good first two seasons. others are a bit hit or miss, i liked season 5 well enough, but tbh the world that they all tie into isn’t all that interesting to me, the seasons connect to this greater history but not enough to each other? first podcast that i listened to that did the whole diegetic audio thing, and it does that part very well. it doesn’t justify the fact that every interesting plot beat is being recorded, it’s content with just showing a slice of its world.

wolf 359 - listened to this before i learned how to manage my poor attention so i think i missed a good portion of it. loved the characters, especially the villains. plot felt disjointed. good voice acting. i was going to relisten to it but then they announced “hey we’re going back and adding ads into every episode” and i was kinda like.. maybe not worth it then lol

unwell - i love how it all comes together. it’s little and cute and spooky. starts off real slow but maybe that’s a good thing cuz all the characters feel so human

welcome to night vale - feels unfair to rank this one. first fiction podcast i listened to and i think it had some very good arcs but basically everything since maybe desert bluffs has been boring to me except the khoshekh episodes that just got posted lol

the bright sessions - not as good as people say but i really liked it. the am archives is bad though. something about the way people solve problems in this kind of show

archive 81 - could have ended after the first season and i would have been happy. whole thing has some cool concepts but i was kinda uninterested in the overarching plots after that point. the horror part was pretty underwhelming tbh, but i gotta love Weird Ass Cities. i adore weird ass cities. this one just wasn’t weird enough i guess

the edge of sleep - this one is FUCKING SCARY. something about sleep freaks me out. also turns out markiplier is a good voice actor??

spines - i love how this starts out but it turns into something that i didn’t expect at all and wasn’t all that interested in but i really like the ending :)

it makes a sound - i swear this used to be a night vale presents thing but i cant find it on that website. i barely remember this but i remember thinking it was really nice and quaint and it had at least one song that i rly liked. i should probably put this lower but idc

magnus archives - this thing is too fucking long. it hit all my buttons honestly- episodic horror with enough interconnectedness to keep me interested- but tbh it disappointed. the way the world works is kind of boring. the finale was underwhelming and it felt like there was a lot of leadup for not all that much payoff. no relationship had literally any chemistry. i do not understand how this became like a tumblr ship haven. in fact the character i loved most was the avatar of the lonely (forgot which one he was, was it elias?) i remember i was listening to his big monologue history about like, him wandering around cities in the middle of the night, as i was literally wandering around the city in the middle of the night. discounting the actual plot, though, some of the individual tapes are very good. made me realize oh i actually do love horror

the deca tapes - wasn’t really sure where to put this one. it’s very short. i thought the concept was pretty unoriginal tbh and the way it just spoon feeds the background “these tapes got released!” plot to us is kind of boring. but i really liked the main mystery box plot and its execution, and the ending was pretty great.

the white vault - the pacing gets better in the later seasons i think but there really is just not enough information to go around. great premise, kinda drags, love many of the voice actors

this sounds serious - the casino season was pretty boring but i loved the first two as the commentary on the genre of, like, true crime investigation docuseries (?) that they are clearly meant to be. also it’s funny

brimstone valley mall - idk this seemed perfectly my kind of thing in theory but i just didn’t really seem to like it. some of the characters are great and some aren’t. i remember this is another one i listened to while wandering around new york at night. i think i could probably pull off a mall goth aesthetic

the penumbra podcast second citadel - uninteresting plot. uninteresting setting. writing feels, i don’t know, camp. tackling of social issues.. look i don’t really care. didn’t add anything for me- knowing that like “this society is homophobic like ours! but, like, not as much really,” like, come on. i think trying to tell a story influenced by real systems of oppression loses a lot when you fictionalize the setting like that. i don’t know i’m no expert. that said though it has some good character moments- i like damien a lot. tbh i really only listened to this to hear more of noah simes’ voice

zero hours - idk. the future stuff wasn’t all that interesting. some good stories though. loved the prohibition one

alice isn’t dead - loved the premise. felt like it lost something when alice was introduced as a speaking character. i feel like if i relistened to it now i would probably be able to like it more. this whole list suffers from recency bias

orbiting human circus - idk. didn’t get me

the last movie - putting this above the rest of its ilk because its scope is so limited. has some of the same problems as tanis, black tapes, etc. but i actually did like this one

bubble - just kinda not good

carrier - unmemorable

the left right game - i zoned out through most of this

tanis, rabbits, the black tapes - ughhhhhhh

[dpargyle]

_

I'm not doing that podcast anymore. I'm racking my brain here trying to figure out how to build an audience/make $ creatively rn. Every conventional avenue is cut off to me, as I've explained before. I don't really want to write books anymore (due to restricted creative control/sadly losing faith entirely in the medium/business of the novel as an effective art form in these horrendous times) - but trying to build an audience online has just been one failure after another. I really don't know what to do. These days, I catch myself daydreaming about dropping off the grid entirely & farming or some shit but I think realistically my disability precludes me (for multiple reasons) from such foolishness. & I think I'm always going to need to create art of some description. I just wish...like...anyone would care... & this isn't a call out post or anything - like - I get it. Shit is falling apart everywhere (more rapidly than I think many abled folk may realize) so reading/listening to my creative output is nobody's top priority (nor should it be) - especially in such oversaturated markets I don't really know what I'm trying to say here. Like. I'm unemployed - I have no prospects - & even if I had any - the government would cut funding for medical necessities b/c secretly (but not so secretly) policy is set up for people like me to die quietly in the background I'm far more privileged than most in my position, due to my family. At least for now. But if I can't find a steady source of income soon, I'm going to have to move back in with my folks which I really do not want to have to do. Like - I did everything right. I went all the way through a hellish school system. I graduated (with honors) from college. I jumped through all their hoops, I played all the stupid fucking games. & because of my condition I am almost completely cut off from society - b/c no one has given me a chance at the things I actually give a shit about. (This is a rant now oh well lol) & I know I'm a damn good writer. I'm a good artist. But finding an audience is just. I don't even know. I don't even know who I am anymore half the time. I feel thoroughly rejected from society at large. Not that I'd wanna join it right now lmao but like...it'd be nice to be asked. I'm not the only one hanging on by a fuckin thimble right now. I know that. But as a disabled person, I feel the strain before many of you. I feel it when there's not enough people to help me get up in the morning so I get left lying in bed for four hours after my usual times. Sorry, I'm rambling now. I'm also kind of exhausted trying to come up with creative endeavors and putting them up with nobody giving a shit. I put my heart & soul into these things - and I have for years. 32 years of my life, where instead of going out enjoying myself or trying to form friendships (which is already really fucking difficult when I have to get back home every day at 9pm cuz my aides are working 100 hr wks & I don't want to overtax their schedules anymore than I already do) - I chose to forego all that, laying myself on the great altar of art or whatever...all for what? Nobody caring? It's. Fuckin soul crushing. I spend like 95% of my time alone. & I don't think I'm the only one. All I really do is work on creative endeavors, research, and then finally turn off my brain watching football or w/e I don't have energy for any of this anymore. This hyper capitalist mode of....I just. I'm not even making sense & I'm all over the place & I usually outline/plan this sort of shit & probably nobody will read this anyway so I don't know why I'm bothering lmao Shot in the dark, I guess? I dunno. I know I have people who love me. & for that I'm grateful. I hope you all do too. These are dark times & I don't see them brightening in our lifetimes I'm afraid. Hold on to the ones you got I suppose. We all just have to play the cards we're dealt, even if they're all jokers, right? While I do have people who love me, I'm also sick of Utah & the US as a whole tbh, but I honestly doubt anywhere would be much

better if I'm being realistic. Even Mars will be conquered by Musk... Anyway. Just trying to express how it feels to be disabled in these times of societal collapse unheard of since the end of the Bronze Age. Perhaps it's for the best. Wish I could inhabit a different body for a while. But "if wishes were horses, we'd all be eatin' steak," to quote the bard. Like. for just one day, I'd love to experience a day that didn't feel like going to war with myself. With the world. With...like, ok, this is kind of a stupid fuckin example, but on the other hand it shows you the power of art (for w/e that's worth these days) but I was watching the most recent season (series) of Sex Education on Netflix (great frikken show btw) - and for the first time EVER - a disabled character (played by a disabled actor) has an intimate scene with another character where she's not a sex worker (no shame to sex workers but the connotation is always we can only ever have sex if we pay for it) & nobody died lmao - & it was this sacred scene where consent was central & it was playful & sweet & it literally made me cry b/c like - (& I don't cry AT ALL anymore - it's just not me) but I did - I fuckin cried, because like. You can't understand. I'm sorry. But you can't. To never see yourself reflected in such a manner. & then suddenly. You see yourself being tenderly kissed on the nose - & for a touch starved cripple - to see that - like. I know in this life I'm never gonna get that. I've accepted that. I'm too old & too much of a fuckup. But for the youth to see that? For the disabled youth of the world? Fuck. I hope it fills them with the brighter future they deserve. Maybe art can move mountains after all. Just wish I could build a door to get myself out of *here.* It's so fucking hard to see the light right now for me. I hold my head up high. I smile. I'm the strongest person I know. But I just wish I could peel off my shit & be the real me & be loved & I'm terrified none of that will ever be in store for me. But I roll on, as always. Love & strength & sorry to be...this...lmao....

[falcon-eye]

Part 3? of the story for my OCs for @inexplicifics Accidental Warlord AU! I intended to only write like the opening paragraph for this today but now it’s two hours later and the whole thing is typed out. Oops.

At some point this will all be on AO3, I promise! But until then, should I do a tag list? Would people want me to tag them as I write these in the meantime? Please let me know!

(Also points to whoever can guess what Veko’s talking about when it comes to colors and smells and things! I also have it, though not exactly like Veko does)

(Also bonus points to wherever can figure out what real life goat Ren is based on lol)

———————————————

Unfortunately, Veko wasn’t able to return to Eloise for a few more years. Between simply not being in the area, not having time between hunts, his brother Hamra almost being disemboweled one year, and his own injuries, he just hadn’t been able to make his way to her little town in Temeria.

This year, he was determined to go back, though he wasn’t sure why. He chalked it up to being able to stay somewhere comfortable, with actual good food, for free, but even he knew that was a flimsy excuse. Eloise fascinated him, for lack of a better word. She hadn’t been afraid of him—quite the opposite! From the get-go it was like she had tried to intimidate him, and godsdammit it worked. But she was so nice to him, and despite what she said, her food was quite good. Or maybe everything Veko had been eating recently was just that awful.

Veko swung down off of Nine—his new gray mare after Eight became wyvern food (rest in peace you prick)—and hitched her to the fence post outside Eloise’s house. For some reason, he was nervous to see her again. Was it because it had been so long (for a human anyway) since he’d been here? He didn’t want her to think he wanted out of their deal or anything.

Veko brushed as much dirt and grime off of his armor as he could before knocking on the door. A moment later, it swung open and Eloise stared up at him with wide eyes.

Veko scratched his burns. “Uh, hello Elo—“

Eloise threw herself at him, arms around his neck. “Oh my gods!” she cried. “You fucking prick! Where have you been?!” Veko faltered for a moment before tentatively wrapping his arms around Eloise’s, but she immediately pulled back, giving him an icy glare. “Well?!”

“I, uh, I’ve been... busy,” Veko replied, but for some reason, Veko felt awful despite it being the truth.

“Busy!” Eloise exclaimed. Holy shit, she’d really been upset about this.

“I’m sorry,” Veko said, staring down at his boots. “I really am. And—and I really was busy. I don’t want you to think I was trying to get out of the deal or anything, cuz I wasn’t—“

“You think I’m upset because of the fucking deal?!” Eloise shouted. Veko blinked at her and she pinched the bridge of her nose. “For Melitele’s—get in here!”

Eloise pulled Veko into the house and slammed the door. Despite the few years that had gone by, not much inside had changed. There were more paint supplies strewn around the house than last time, but that was about it.

Veko scratched his scars again and Eloise slapped his hand away. “Sorry,” he said automatically.

“I thought you were dead!” Eloise shouted, poking a finger into Veko’s chest. “You’re a bloody Witcher! That’s what happens, isn’t it? You fight monsters, and then you die. Well godsdamn you I thought you died!”

Veko was horrified when the salty smell of tears began tickling his nose; something must have showed on his face, because Eloise rubbed her eyes quickly, not letting any of them fall.

“I’m sorry,” Veko said again.

Eloise glared at him again before suddenly hugging him. “Fucking git,” she hissed. “Send a letter or something, at least! I don’t know how to get ahold of you but I’m always here!”

Veko hesitated again but hugged Eloise back. This time, she didn’t pull away. “Sorry,” he said into her hair. “Just, every time I was in the area, something would come up, or my brother was hurt, or I was too injured to travel—“

“Are you ok now?!”

“Oh yeah, all healed up now.”

“And your brother?”

Veko smiled sadly, remembering the blood on his hands and the horrifying look of resignation on Hamra’s face. “Touch and go for a bit, but yeah, he also made a full recovery. I just couldn’t leave him like that.”

Eloise finally pulled away and crossed her arms. “Well damn,” she grumbled. “How can I be mad at you now?”

Veko chuckled, feeling like a weight had lifted off of his chest.

—————

During lunch, Eloise filled him in on how things had been going since they’d seen each other. Lennart was still a bastard, but after being slapped in front of the gods and everyone by a lady at the tavern, he’d been officially removed from his position. A local woman had taken the title of alderwoman now, and things had been a lot better. A few of Eloise’s goats had had multiple babies, though a wolf problem last year had taken a few of them. She still had one of her original nanny goats, though, and apparently this particular goat was about as stubborn as they come.

“She actually chased one of the wolves off, even!” Eloise explained. “Charged it head on. I’ve never seen a wolf roll like that in my life.”

“Remind me not to piss your goats off, then,” Veko chuckled.

Eloise seemed to pause for a moment. “I actually have to go feed them,” she said. “Plus, your horse has just been... well, outside tied to my fence. Come with me?”

So that was how Veko found himself leading his horse to the tiny barn behind Eloise’s house. He could see a couple goats that were obviously youngsters immediately rush over to the fence, bleating loudly. From within the barn, a huge tan goat trotted out and fucking screamed.

Veko flinched and even Nine pulled back. “Sorry, sorry,” Eloise said. “That’s Georgina. She’s... special.”

“I’ll say,” Veko grumbled. “This our wolf chaser?”

Eloise shook her head and pointed to another goat on the opposite side of the paddock. A little black thing, shorter than the others, with huge, curled horns. Eloise whistled and the goat immediately charged—and slammed horns first—into the fence.

“Ren,” Eloise said, crouching down to scratch the goat between the ears. “She’s harmless. Mostly.”

Veko looked at Nine and seemed to almost share a stare with the horse. A ‘can you believe this shit?’ moment that got Veko chuckling despite himself.

“Whatever you say.”

Eloise led Veko and Nine into the barn and into a small empty stall. “This was my father’s horse’s stall,” she explained as Veko began undoing Nine’s tack.

“Where is your old man, anyway?” he asked as he heaved the saddle down.

Eloise looked away. “He, um,” she cleared her throat. “He passed, um, a few months after you left.”

Veko dropped the saddle. “Fuck,” he said. “I’m—I’m so sorry. Fuck, if I’d known—“

“Veko,” Eloise put a hand on his arm, “my father was sick. Even I didn’t realize how badly until a week before he went. But it was... it was peaceful, at least. I’d made him dinner, he wished me goodnight, and I found him in the morning.”

Veko honestly didn’t know what else to say. Death was a weird subject for Witchers, after all. He continued grooming Nine while searching desperately for something to say that wasn’t ‘sorry’ again.

“Did he have... a funeral?” Veko asked. He could’ve slapped himself. Of course he had a fucking funeral.

Eloise seemed to sense Veko’s fumbling, because she smiled gently and nodded. “A very nice one, too,” she said. “I’ll go get some water for your horse.”

As Eloise walked away, Nine looked at Veko again. What was it with this horse? Veko pointed a warning finger in his face; Nine simply huffed and turned away. Somewhere, Hamra was laughing, Veko was sure of it. His brother had always had a good relationship with his horses.

Eloise returned a moment later with a bucket of water. Veko immediately took it from her and poured it into the empty trough.

“What’s her name?” Eloise asked. If he could blush, Veko would’ve been scarlet.

“Nine,” he said.

“‘Nine’?” Eloise repeated. “Does that mean something in another language or like, the number?”

“The, uh, the number.”

Eloise slapped Veko’s hand as it reached for his scars. “Why?”

“She’s my... ninth horse.”

There was beat before Eloise burst out laughing. “You’re something else, you know that?”

Veko smirked to cover his embarrassment. “So I’ve been told.”

Eloise rolled her eyes and headed over to the opposite end of the barn. The far wall was lined with bales of hay. Before she could even reach for one, Veko rushed over and hoisted one over his shoulder. Eloise put her hands on her hips.

“You know I’ve been doing this for years even before you showed up, right?” And she had a point; what was wrong with him?

“I, uh,” he looked anywhere but at Eloise, trying to find an excuse. “I figured it’s... been a while since I’ve been here so I, uh, owe you. I guess.”

“Are you telling me or asking me?”

“Yes.”

Eloise laughed. “Ok then,” she said, heading back out of the barn. “I’ll get the gate at least.”

Veko followed Eloise to the paddock and held Ren by a leather strap around her neck while he made his way through the gate. The other goats immediately began following him. As soon as the hay hit the ground, the goats descended. Eloise let Ren go and the other goats parted to let her through.

“I never realized how scary goats were,” Veko said as Eloise latched the gate closed.

“To be fair, I have quite the herd of characters,” she replied. “Most people have a rooster to wake them at sunrise; I have Georgina and her screaming. Ren is like my own personal guard hound. Sometimes she gets out and chases off anyone who gets near the house. The others are still young, yet, but they’re slowly starting to show their personalities.”

“I’ll stick with horses, I think,” Veko said. “They’re enough trouble as it is.”

“Apparently!” Eloise laughed as she and Veko made their way back to the house. “Seeing as you’ve had nine of them!”

“This is a dangerous job!” Veko defended, but the tone was joking. “Plus in the grand scheme of things, nine horses hasn’t been a lot for how long I’ve been on the Path.”

Eloise’s brow furrowed. “How old are you?”

“Old.”

Eloise scoffed and started gathering some of her paints. Veko followed her into her art room, not sure what else to do at this point, and found the walls covered in different paintings than the last time he’d been here. One in an ornate frame was her father, exactly as real as if he was standing before them.

Eloise picked up a few leather straps from one of the tables. “Help me with something,” she said. “I’m going to repaint the goats’ collars and I don’t know what color to give who. I want you to help me decide.”

“Ok?” Veko said, taking a seat. “Why?”

“Something you said to my father, when you saved him,” Eloise replied. “It always confused him. He told you he lived in the house with the blue roof and you said it suited him. Why?”

Veko went to scratch his scars, but instead balled his hand into the fabric of his pants. “Well, it’s, uh,” he hesitated. Of all things for that old man to focus on!

“My father was always fascinated with color,” Eloise said, as if sensing Veko needed a minute. “That’s how I got into painting. He was never content with something being the original color it was. Hence, the blue roof. He said that you saying the blue suited him kind of, I don’t know, validated him.”

Veko’s chest felt tight. Now he felt fucking terrible for not being here before. Maybe Eloise’s father would’ve understood, or at least found it interesting that—

Veko cleared his throat. “So, sometimes,” he began, staring down at his hands. “When I think of things, or names, or... well anything, really. I get these senses.” When he looked up, Eloise was enraptured. “Like, your father, just looking at him, the color blue came to mind. I don’t know why.”

“Just colors?”

Veko shook his head. “Smells, sometimes. Like when I think of you... I, uh, I think of the smell of your paints.”

“That’s... that’s fascinating, Veko,” Eloise said. “Tell me more?”

Veko gestured to the collars. “Well, you’re trying to figure out what color for what goat. As soon as you said Georgina, green came to mind. I don’t know why. And Ren is red, but not because the name and word are close. Uh, sometimes when I picture my supplies in my pack, I see them like they’re all laid out on the table, lined up side-by-side, despite the fact that I know damn well they’re a jumbled mess in my bag. And in my head, the order is always the same. I kinda do the same thing with months. I see them lined up like squares on a wall.” Veko grimaced. Fuck. “No, ‘see’ is the wrong word, cuz I don’t—I’m not hallucinating or anything!”

“I believe you,” Eloise said softly, taking one of Veko’s hands in hers. And she was telling the truth. Veko felt the tension in his body release.

“It’s weird, I know,” he said. “So I don’t normally say anything. When I was younger the trainers thought my head got fucked up by the mutagens but it’s just the way I’ve always been.”

“Does your brother have this too?”

“No,” Veko chuckled. “But he’s been the most receptive to it, even if he doesn’t understand it. Like, his favorite color is green, but when I think of him I think of like an indigo color. And I’m red, but I don’t know why.”

“What about me?” Veko met Eloise’s gaze and held it. The look on her face was one of honest curiosity and interest. She smiled at him and squeezed his fingers. “What do you see when you think of me?”

Veko swallowed. “I see turquoise, like the color your dress was the first time we met. I don’t know if it’s because that’s what you were wearing or what, but when I think ‘Eloise’ I think of that faint turquoise color.”

“Does it work for family names?”

“Sometimes. What is your full name, anyway?”

“Eloise Calold.”

Veko cocked his head to the side. “Yellow,” he said. “Calold is yellow.”

“But not because of anything I’m wearing,” Eloise said, gesturing to the paint-stained brown smock she was currently wearing.

“Guess not.”

“Veko,” Eloise breathed. “That is the most fascinating thing I’ve ever heard of. So you see colors? Or, think in colors? I wish I had that. I wonder how it would affect my art. I wonder how it would affect your art.”

Veko pulled away and put his hands up. “Hey, whoa, who said anything about me being an artist?” he said.

Eloise laughed. “I bet you’re better than you think,” she said.

“I bet not.”

Eloise smirked. “Tell you what,” she said. “I’ll drop the subject if you do something for me.”

“Name it?”

“Let me paint you.”

Veko again was struck silent. She wanted to paint him? Apparently his mouth was hanging open, because Eloise tapped his chin to close it. “Why?” he managed.

“Because,” she replied. “We’re... friends. Or I like to think we are. And in case... in case something happens to you...” she gazed at the painting of her father, smiling down warmly at them, “I want you to be immortalized with him.”

What the fuck could Veko say to that? “Oh. Ok,” he said dumbly. “Uh. How do you want me?”

Eloise jumped up and ran for a blank canvas. “Whatever’s comfortable!” she called. “It takes a while.”

Veko just... sat there as Eloise began setting up. He turned this way and that, never quite settling, before Eloise huffed and dragged an armchair over. Veko abandoned the stool he’d been on and sat back into the warn leather.

“Better,” he said. He turned, scar facing away, and immediately Eloise’s hand reached out to turn him back. Her fingers grazed the puckered mess that was his cheek and he flinched.

“I’m sorry,” Eloise said gently. “I just—I want to see it.”

“Why?” Veko whispered.

“Because it’s a part of you,” Eloise replied. “And gods know I’ve kept you from scratching it enough.”

There was a moment where neither of them said a word. Veko’s heart sped in his chest like it hadn’t in many years. Eloise gazed over his burn scars and gently brushed her fingers over them again. Veko didn’t flinch this time, but just barely. Her fingers were cool against the phantom heat of his burns, and as she traced the expanse of them along his jaw, he couldn’t hold back the full-body shiver the touch elicited.

Eloise pulled back and Veko scrambled to find something to say before she said anything else about them. “So—so how does this work?” he asked. “I, uh, I just sit here?”

Eloise nodded and finally pulled back. “Yes,” she said, not meeting his gaze. Now that he was out of his own head, Veko could hear her heart hammering in her chest. “Just, um, get comfortable, relax, and um, don’t... don’t move, if you can help it.”

Veko grinned. “Ok.” Eloise nodded and began mixing a few paints.

Veko just... watched her. As brush met paint and paint met canvas, he could almost see the cogs turning in her head. Instead of sticking her tongue out, like he’d heard some artists do, she made faces. A stroke here and her mouth pinched to the side; stroke there and her mouth opened in a little ‘o’.

Veko wanted to slip into meditation, as that would be the best way to sit still for her, but he found he just couldn’t. As much as Eloise was watching him for her painting, he wanted to watch her. He couldn’t help but think of the last time they’d seen each other, and what he thought of her then. She wasn’t all that attractive, merely plain by any standards. Her laugh was unladylike and jarring. She intimidated him. She swore. She—

She made him dinner. She let him sleep in her home. She told him stories and listened to his in turn. She wanted his opinions. She found his mental crap fascinating. She worried for him. She cried for him!

She called them friends.

As Veko sat, watching Eloise paint his portrait, a warm weight settled in his gut. He didn’t want to leave in the morning. Hells, he didn’t want her to ever finish this bloody painting. And although emotions aren’t exactly a Witcher’s strong point, he had a sinking suspicion that what he was feeling...

Fuck.

[muthaz-rapapa]

Let’s talk TroPreCure! (^∀^ 🌺)

i’m so stupidly proud of this dumb pun “tropurikyua~”, hahahahaha

Last post of the year and wow is there are lot to be excited for!

I even had to make a list for the stuff I want to talk about and I’m sure I already forgot one or two things but we’ll get to them as we continue to float~ along the wave to February 28th, mmkay? :)

Now for what has peaked my interest so far. And yes, we have to talk about the following first:

1) HealPre the shortest Precure season??

Unless they plan for double features in February (which I doubt but you never know), HealPre is likely going to reach only 45 episodes long instead of the usual 48~50 before TroPre I’m using this shortening of the title for now so if there’s a better alternative, tell me and I’ll switch out begins its broadcast.

Understandable because the producers probably want to get back to their normal scheduling as soon as possible (toy sales, y’know) and I suspect pushing the start of the new season back by a month is the most they’re willing to compromise.

As for me, I’m quite happy about this since HealPre’s lost its hold on my attention a while ago so the sooner TroPre gets here, the better. Though the downside might be a scrambled climax and a rushed, underwhelming ending for HealPre (I dunno if it’s January’s titles that feel a bit messy or if the hiatus is still throwing me off) but whatever. We’ll refresh ourselves with the new blood Cures so it’s all good.

2) Tropical movie announced for Autumn 2021, no All Stars??

(source)

First saw this mentioned on Youtube somewhere but it’s all over the fandom forums by now. I mean, HealPre’s movie is set for March, the usual time slot for All Stars release. If Toei intended for there to be an All Stars in 2021, there’s no way they would announce the seasonal movie before it so speculations of them skipping it this year are probably true.

To squeeze it somewhere between March and October-ish would force them to readjust their budgets as well and I don’t think even Toei wants to go through that extra hassle after all the trouble the pandemic’s caused for everyone already. It’s just easier to resume All Stars in 2022.

That, and I think Laura being a major character in TroPre despite not having a Cure title (yet) would make for an awkward situation when the three latest teams gather so perhaps that’s also one of the reasons. But I’ll get back to Laura in a bit.

3) Cure Summer is a RAINBOW Cure

So god help me if I see anyone calling her a Pink Cure.

Yes, she’s the lead Cure for this season. NO, she is not a Pink Cure.

Look, even the official website has a rainbow overlay for her profile pic and text font while everyone else’s respective theme colors are a solid hue:

Therefore, RAINBOW.

In promotional material and merchandising, they’re probably going to advertise her primarily with pink bah and at worst, she might occasionally be labeled as a White Cure with multiple subcolors (her outfit is not pink-dominant) but definitely NOT. PINK.

...also, this goes without saying but f***yea, we finally got a lead Cure practically and unabashedly wearing the LGBTQ flag and you cannot tell me otherwise, Toei!

Own up to it! Declare Manatsu/Cure Summer as the Precure queer icon!

I’m not gonna stop yellin’ until you do! 😠

4) Laura = obvious midseason Cure is obvious

First of all, Laura is a babe. I already love her the best and she’s not even Precure yet. <3

Anyways, the set-up is pretty much in the description. Important main character who’s not a mascot, stated to have a self-confident personality and just speaks her mind (oooh, I like~ :D), magical/foreign being from another world looking for Precure to save her home, possesses her own special item(s), has aspirations to become the next Queen (so she’s a princess-candidate or something to that effect, I suppose).

We’ve seen various combinations of these traits in past midseason (and a few starter) Cures so nobody should be surprised when we all guessed that one of the Cures would be a real live mermaid.

The only question is why not just make Laura a Cure from the get-go if she’s introduced to us at the beginning (like Hime or Lala) and having a team of five with no unnecessary extra add-ons later on (like Smile).

Well, there’s a simple answer for that: formula.

Toei is afraid that if they don’t spit out some new animation sequence at the halfway and third quarter points of the show, the kids will lose interest and abandon the series altogether. Which means failed toy sales. Oh nooo... [/sarcasm]

...Yea. 

And this way they can also have Laura available in the Cure lineup for the next All Stars in 2022 instead of making her sit the fight out if we were going to have one in 2021. I’m convinced that’s gotta be one of the reasons. *shrug*

But ok, whatever. Her debut is gonna be later, that’s all. She’s a delayed Cure.  Midseason Cure, same difference.

Moving along to the more important stuff now like what’s her Cure name gonna be, y/y?

Well, knowing Toei, a translation of the term “mermaid” into another language is the most predictable route even though we already have a Cure Mermaid. Not like that ever stopped them from repeating words before (ex. Cure Happy vs Cure Felice). Though if they do go down that road, I hope they opt for the Spanish/Italian “sirena” and not the French “sirène” because the latter sounds too close to how Cure Selene is pronounced in Japanese. And, putting it nicely, we all know Japanese pronunciation of foreign words is as off kilter as can be.

Hell, even the the Portuguese “sereia” sounds aesthetic as hell so it’d be nice if they can just remember there are other languages that exist out there besides Japanese, English and French when making the final decision at the writing table! *stomps foot* >:/

Alternatively, “nereid” or “naiad” are good choices too but they remind me too much of Greek myths and Laura’s from the Grand Ocean which covers more than just a couple of seas (Greece is surrounded by three, btw) so...

I dunno. But whatever it’s gonna be, she’s definitely got a strong association with water and her powers will probably be based on that.

As for theme color, since there’s noticeably no blue or green Cure in the starter lineup, it’s likely she will take up that spot when she debuts around ep 20.

Pink is also open since Cure Summer, again, is technically not a Pink Cure and Laura’s hair and tail fin are hot and light pink respectively but looking at Laura’s design and concept, does anyone seriously believe that?

Her upper torso consists of aquamarine while the body of her tail is definitely some shade of cyan, implying they’re aiming for somewhere around the middle of green and blue on the lighter spectrum.

And yea, I’m aware that green and blue are considered exchangeable in some perspectives with how close some of their shades are to each other but officially, I think Laura’s gonna be grouped with the Green Cures.

Cuz of the hair. If Laura’s gonna keep it the same or a similar shade after transforming, that is. The Blues have always had cool-colored hair so putting Laura in with them might disrupt that harmony whereas if you put her with the few Greens there are (including Parfait), she’d fit right in.

I mean, we’ll see but that makes the most sense, doesn’t it?

On another note, I just want to say that I love how they added frills to her arms instead of letting her elbows go bare naked. It definitely makes her look more like a genuine mermaid than if she didn’t have them (remember, half fish doesn’t mean half the body :P).

5) Magical Items

Frankly, I’m tired of seeing the transformation device being a compact again even though one of the main motifs is make-up this season. But at least, as far as Precure compacts goes, the Tropical one is my favorite cuz of how cute and delightfully colorful its toy version looks! So I guess I’m okay with it.

The Heart Rouge Rod, though? ...I dunno. I think it would’ve been fine without that...straw (?) jutting out at the top. It looks weird, doesn’t it look weird? :S

As for the collectible clip-ons, I can live without those for the rest of my life. Yeesh.

Laura’s items, the Aqua Pot and the Ocean Prism Mirror.

Again with the portable, travel-size housing. *sigh* 😩

Alright, I can let this year slide cuz Laura (I’m so soft for her, omg) probably won’t be getting legs for 20 weeks so she’s got to move about on land somehow. But unless they’re really thinking about turning this idea of carrying your apartment around in your bag/pocket/purse into a reality (cuz that would be effin’ awesome), please be more creative with your toys.

On the other hand, I’m much more interested in the Ocean Prism Mirror but from what Kusyami (the Precure merchandise reviews I follow on Youtube) said in his latest vid, this is the ED dance item so don’t know if it’ll actually have an relevance to the story or not. But I did hear him mention it having something to do with the Queen as well and since Laura wishes to become Queen, maybe it’ll be important after all? Maybe it’s her transformation device?

That’d be super cool. Let’s continue the trend of the midseason Cure having a different transformation item than the starters. Honestly, we should alternate every other year or two but we’ve gone three seasons with all of them using the same henshin gimmicks up till HealPre and I just want a break from that.

6) Fin sleeves??

These look so impractical for combat so maybe it’s exclusive to group attacks.

And/or a sort of precursor to the super forms?

*GASP* Does that mean they all eventually turn into mermaids? 🤩

7) Yui finally became Precure!! 😭

lol, it’s all crack from this point on so don’t take it too seriously but man, after Yuni’s deceptive braids, I thought I wasn’t gonna see anything that reminded me of Yui for a while and lo behold, Sango.

kehehehehehe xD;

Though Yui might be closer to Minori in terms of personal interests (fairytales and storybooks).

8) Akira, the actual Onee-chan version

I didn’t think this when I first saw her but once I read “Onee-san” in her profile, there’s no saving you now. Sorry, Asuka. 😅

Also, damn, do her sandals make her feet look big! Compare them to the heels she wears as Flamingo. Are they even the same?! lololol

9) ...this sounds awfully familiar...

Translation:

Tokimeku Tokonatsu! [Exciting/Thrilling Everlasting Summer!] Cure Summer! Kirameku Hoseki! [Sparkling Jewel!] Cure Coral!  Hirameku Fuurutsu! [Flashing Fruit!] Cure Papaya!

Japanese reiteration:

Mallow/Mao: Pink no tokimeki! Lillie: Blue no kirameki! Lana/Suiren: Yellow no kagayaki!

….........

@Toei 

Care to explain yourselves, punks?! 

୧(ʘ ∀ ʘ ╬)

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

songs on taylor swift’s LOVER (2019), a concept album about eliot waugh and quentin coldwater from SYFY’s the magicians, rated by how much they are about eliot waugh and quentin coldwater from SYFY’s the magicians

i forgot that you existed - lmao these dummies will never be over each other. bumped a bit because it would be good on the soundtrack for the fic i still kinda want someone to write where eliot gets brainwashed by the dark king who for god’s sake is not trying to bring back to life his beloved who died because of homophobia and gets catfished by his dead brother but is just a supernatural evil despot manipulating eliot’s pain and erasing his memories of quentin only to be defeated of course by the power of true love. weak showing to start but things quickly improve. 2/10

cruel summer - this is a song about being out of your mind with horniness for someone you would rather die than admit you’ve caught feelings for, which is.... VERY queliot. love eliot watching quentin at a hotel vending machine at night and insisting to himself, “i’m not dying.” good for a non-beast AU where quentin dates alice and eliot dates some non-possessed normie boy and they both get dumped finals week and get obliteratingly drunk in the physical kids’ cottage as bros and hook up and wake up like “LOL haha rebound sex” and then it happens again and they’re like, sure, you know, why not, you’re heartbroken, i’m heartbroken, let’s help each other forget about it by fucking like rabbits, except of course by august eliot is drunk in the back of the car crying like a baby coming home from the bar because he is not fine about all the times he has told quentin it’s fine. ALTERNATELY this is actually just quentin in the mosaic timeline after they hook up and he wakes up in the morning totally ready to talk about how they’re dating now and eliot is like LET’S NOT OVERTHINK THINGS and quentin’s like, haha yeah ok! and they keep having mindblowing outdoor sex but like as bros and quentin regrets every waking moment agreeing to pretend not to overthink things with his best friend who is amazing in bed and who also he is definitely falling in love with. “breakable heaven” is a good description of the mosaic timeline, because many pieces and because it broke by never happening. bonus point because “i love you, ain’t that the worse thing you ever heard?” is SO eliot and also SO quentin in related but distinct ways. 8/10

lover - UGH!!!! SO QUELIOT!!!! “have i known you twenty seconds or twenty years” vs. “i bond fast, time is an illusion.” “can i go where you go” for two people who have been thrown together and torn apart so many times is wildly romantic. “my heart’s been borrowed and your heart’s been blue” = i dated a possessed guy and then became a possessed guy and you are chronically depressed. “you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me” is all about eliot’s smirks. i ALREADY have feelings about taylor swift, a human being who spent most of her adult life ruled by the lingering wounds of having been uncool in eighth grade, putting in her big sweet love song the line, “and at every table i’ll save you a seat,” but i have SO MANY MORE feelings when i apply that to quentin coldwater, who ate lunch in the bathroom on days that julia was absent because of the horror of finding somewhere to sit in the high school cafeteria. 9/10

the man - margo says she hates this song because it’s white feminism but whenever she gets drunk at karaoke she makes quentin sing it with her. he always flips his hair on “i’d be just like leo in st tropez,” because he is the only other person besides taylor swift in america uncool enough to think that’s still a reference that conjures up associations of a sexy awesome playboy. 3/10

the archer - FUCKING!!!!!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is... ok. ok. i’m calm. this is the eliot song of all time. “i’m ready for combat / i say i don’t want that / but what if i do” is about eliot’s reactivity and his fear that on some level he wants to blow everything up more than he wants to be loved. we don’t know what started the fight we see in the mosaic timeline but what we glimpse is very “cruelty wins in the movies”: this impulse to win by pushing the other person away to avoid your own vulnerability. “i’ve got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you” is eliot unpossessed after quentin is alive but before he and alice have broken up thinking about all the apologetic true love confessions he made charlton watch him rehearse. “i search for your dark side / but what if i’m alright right right right here” is about refusing to believe in good things because they are so threatening when your formative experiences of love and family were so unsafe. “i cut off my nose just to spite my face / and i hate my reflection for years and years” is, quite literally, just the exact plot of 4x05. “i wake in the night / i pace like a ghost / the room is on fire / invisible smoke” is more A+ abandonment issues content, and i can’t even TALK about “all of my heroes die all alone” in the context of eliot waugh who FULLY has on MANY occasions raised a toast to living fast dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse and has never himself been wholly sure exactly how much he was kidding. “all the king’s horses and all the king’s men / couldn’t put me together again / cuz all of my enemies started out friends” is first of all a very funny thing for a former high king of fillory to say, and second upsetting because MOSAIC, PIECES, MINOR MENDINGS, ELIOT SEES HIMSELF AS A BROKEN THING, and third devastating because of how much of the Trauma Chalkboard involves times eliot has betrayed other people. ok FINE we can start talking about the refrains now, even though they CAUSE ME THE MOST PAIN. “help me hold on to you” is the subtext of every post-4x13 queliot fic for the very good reason that it’s the most vulnerable and beautiful and real thing eliot could ever say. “i’ve been the archer / i’ve been the prey” is again about eliot as a person full of regret for all the ways he has lashed out in his life against people other than the ones who wounded him so deeply. “screaming who could ever leave me darling / but who could stay” is sooooo eliot, with the drama and affect of it all (“darling!”), and the performed belief in his own excellence combined with his deep insecurity. “they see right through me” is about how he’s secretly afraid everyone can smell on him that he grew up on a farm in indiana, “can you see right through me” is about both fearing and hoping that quentin will see all of him, “i see right through me” is about how hard he’s lied to himself about wanting love. the best song in the world probably. 20/10.

i think he knows - my favorite thing about adult taylor swift referencing anything about adolescence is that taylor swift had a totally deranged abnormal adolescence because she spent the whole thing first trying to be famous and then actually being outrageously famous. so i love it when she says “it’s like i’m 17 nobody understands,” because when she was actually 17 she was dating a jonas brother for like 3 months and then writing break-up songs that made it sound like she was never that into it, so it’s like this idea of being 17 and hormonal in some kind of normal context where you actually are thinking about sex all day instead of meeting with your branding team. this is a fun idea to extrapolate to eliot & quentin, who were both miserable at 17 and never got the experience of devoting your brain full-time to all-consuming horniness for the first person to ever give you an orgasm, but who can now experience that with each other. also “his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it’s mine” is a queliot line because of my very strong personal headcanon that eliot is obsessed with quentin’s hands. 6/10

miss americana and the heartbreak prince - see above re: tswift & teenhood. "when i was 16 / lost in a film scene” is even better because actual teen taylor swift spent many hours of her life literally acting out on film these like pathologically normative high school scenarios that she never lived because she dropped out after ninth grade, and because this song is all about like, image vs reality but is also itself a fantasy? fucked up and weird, i love it. taylor swift spent so many years portraying her specific teen shame as being about her deep dweebery and i think it’s really funny that in this song she is still an outcast but now it is because she is like, too sexy and misbehaving, both through the line “they whisper in the hallways she’s a bad bad girl” and by setting it to basically a lana del rey track. i feel like this is a very eliot move, to rewrite your own history of exclusion as more glamorous and flattering than it was, to portray yourself as like this debauched rebel instead of a sad gay kid in a homophobic environment. eliot obviously was never enamored with this kind of stock teen americana imagery the way taylor was, but i think he has that same tension of deeply resenting one image while being very drawn to another one. extra point because “heartbreak prince” is such a hilarious and amazing way to describe quentin. 7/10

paper rings - good song for a very chill no-beast AU. “i like fancy things but i’d marry you with paper rings” is very eliot. it’s cute to imagine eliot reading all of the books besides quentin’s bed not because he likes them but because he wants to get to know quentin better. “i want your dreary mondays” is a nice thing for either of these dudes to hear. 5/10

cornelia street - all songs about being overwhelmed and terrified by love are about eliot waugh!!!!! especially songs where someone does something casually that is clearly not casual at all. it rules that both of the key metaphors in the verses are extremely quentin images: fresh page on the desk / card sharks playing games. stories and magic! thinking about eliot and quentin barefoot in a kitchen together makes me want to cry, for normal reasons. 8/10

death by a thousand cuts - i have to be honest, for a long time i thought it sucked that the best song on this album was actually not about queliot, but then i saw the light and realized that this is a song about how totally incomprehensible it is that you’re supposed to just move on with your life when someone you loved absolutely is no longer yours, so ACTUALLY, this song is totally about quentin after the mosaic! “i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright / they say i don’t know.” trying to be normal while secretly dying inside. “i look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up / chandelier’s still flickering here” = i said it was chill when you compartmentalized our 50 years as soulmates as something that happened to other people but actually the me i am right now wants you real bad! “what once was ours is no one’s now” because it happened in an alternate timeline that never existed. “you said it was a great love / one for the ages / but if the story’s over / why am i still writing pages” = you said it was kind of beautiful but also that wasn’t really me but if so then why do i want to bone you so bad. gets even more fucked up if you extend it properly into season 4. MY HEART MY HIPS MY BODY MY LOVE / TRYING TO FIND A PART OF ME THAT YOU DIDN’T TOUCH: a line i can only ever type in all-caps and about which i can say nothing because it is perfect. “gave up on me like i was a bad drug” is also very quentin reflecting bitterly on eliot. saying goodbye to your possessed ex is death by a thousand cuts because that’s how many times the monster sockpuppeting his body is going to randomly show up in your apartment covered in blood. the morning comes and you’re not my baby, because you have been possessed. flashbacks waking me up because i have PTSD now from watching your body murder like 80 people.  8/10

london boy - lmao. no 0/10

soon you’ll get better - I Feel Weird Jokingly Assigning A Rating To Taylor Swift’s Very Sad Song About How Taylor Swift’s Actual Mom Has Actual Cancer Based On How Much It Relates To A Fictional Couple In Which One Person Has A Parent Who Dies Of Cancer So I’m Going To Rate This Not Applicable. N/A. great song tho

false god - jesus, does she really go london boy / soon you’ll get better / false god? her sequencing is so deranged. anyway i know i was JUST talking about my interest in fic where quentin and eliot get together but don’t necessarily talk out every single one of their 800 issues in the timespan covered by the story, but this song about make-up sex is still not very queliot to me, possibly because i cannot get past the dorkiness of taylor swift calling herself new york city. “you can't talk to me when I'm like this / daring you to leave me just so I can try and scare you” is pretty good though. “if you want to live your life live it here...” damn eliot waugh and taylor swift really are like the same person on the level of psychological architecture. i know i keep saying it but it keeps freaking me out. 4/10

you should calm down - eliot unfollowed jonathan van ness on twitter after the video for this came out. he unfollowed antoni too but then refollowed him because he’s hot.  -1000000/10.

afterglow - so THIS song about fighting actually DOES have very queliot vibes. and it’s funny, because i keep talking about eliot’s fear of lashing out and hurtfully pushing away people he loves, and i think he does have that impulse (”if you want to live your life live it here...” what did you MEAN eliot), and i also think he’s SUPER afraid of that within himself, partly because of how the dynamics of his childhood make anger and conflict really fraught for him... but actually the character we more often see being a huge dick because of his own issues is, in fact, quentin, and that is who this song about. we all know i am obsessed with the scene where quentin comes sheepishly back to alice apologizing for being an asshole because it’s so vulnerable and honest and such a powerful moment of growth for him... as robbed as i feel of like tearfully joyful queliot reunions i also feel robbed that we never got to see quentin and eliot have a moment like that together! 7/10

me! - absolutely not. -30/10

it’s nice to have a friend - i like this song but the way taylor talks about it always makes me kind of sad, because she draws this equivalence between being excited about a friend as a kid and being excited about romance as an adult that really does make it sound like she thinks in adulthood romance takes over a place that friendship used to occupy, instead of co-existing with it... but she’s also talked a lot about the importance of finding who her real friends are so idk maybe i’m being too hard on her and also oversensitive because of certain plot developments. “call my bluff / call you babe” is cute. card sharks! pet names! 5/10

daylight - R U KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE QUELIOT ANTHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! two people who have been hurt and hurt others, who have spent a long time running away from their own hearts, who have been confused about what they want... “i wounded the good and i trusted the wicked / clearing the air i breathed in the smoke” about every mistake and regret and fuck-up... “maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down / maybe i’ve stormed out of every single room in this town”... the trauma chalkboard, the fight outside the hedge bar... the people you become to try to erase the person you’re afraid you are... and then! “throw out our cloaks and our daggers because it’s morning now / it’s brighter now”... to find peace in the person you never need to hide yourself from... the transformative power of letting yourself be seen... “i can still see it all in my mind / all of you all of me intertwined”... i can still remember this other life that never happened which matters not because it’s where i fell in love with you but because it’s where i revealed my whole self and learned that whole self could be loved.... and of course above all most crucially, “i once believed love would be burning red / but it’s golden / like daylight”... the very beautiful story the magicians accidentally almost told was a story about letting go of the narratives you’ve been taught to want and realizing that as much as real life and hard and scary it is also lovelier than any of those wan old stories... “i wanna be defined by the things that i love, not the things that i hate, or the things that i’m afraid of”... please!!!!!!! 100000000000000/10

[late-to-the-damn-party]

ok, pinned post here we go :D

i'm technically legally an adult. whether that should be allowed is another thing. i like to stay sfw, cuz i'm like. really sex repulsed. well. sfw as in no nakey ppl in sexual poses, porn, and smut. all for the sex jokes tho.

if i don't want someone following me, or interacting w/ me (bc someone's blog makes me uncomfy) i won't hesitate to block >.<

i'm like. never on here anymore. but i'll spontaneously come on here every now and again :P

currently into: danny phantom (and a bit of the owl house) splatoon. help.

previous thing(s) i like(d): invader zim, pokemon, and spider-man. so don't be surprised when you find some of that stuff here ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

if any1 is interested in my discord for some reason erm just ask ig idk :T (lol i'm in no servers and am friends w/ no one)

my ao3 is latetothedamnparty also :3

tags

the rambling zak: my random bullshit falls under this tag. jus lil thoughts.

zak's miniature writings: any fics i write that are less than 1000 words go here :l

zak's fics: any fics that are 1000 words or more go here; given what the prev tag was it's kinda obvious ig

zak did a thing: any crafty shit i do goes under this tag

lil doodles brought to u by zak: doodles. straightforward.

zak's art: any art i do that isn't classified as doodles. so, like, stuff i put real effort in

wgw au: all my witchcraft gone wrong danny phantom au stuffs is under this tag :D

dp crossover: any dp crossover ideas/works i reblog/make. they also might be tagged along with "dp x [insert other media here]"

i don't really tag dp stuff, but i try to tag other fandoms. iz: invader zim, pokemon: pokemon, spider-man: spider-man, marvel: marvel, de:pp: dead end: paranormal park, toh: the owl house, gf: gravity falls. these are just the ones on the top of my head. as you can see it's either the actual name or an abbreviation.

prompts are cool, actually, and it's be nice writing practice if you could give me some... atleast, some that can be fulfilled in a oneshot :p. also drawing prompts r cool 2. :>

ok that seems about it ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

[dredreadsdrawing]

Oc-tober day 5: Old

For Day 5’s challenge, I brought back what I believe to be my first trans character haha. This will start as cringe plz bear with me. Im copy pasting the Quickie I had planned for a post in my writing blog.

PunchLine: Quickie Summary

Just suddenly grew nostalgic of this story lol. Notes before delving into the plot:

-        I literally started this story’s concept when I was in 5th – 6th grade and first watched Ouran High School Host Club. My kid brain was mad at Haruhi for not taking advantage of her passing as a boy so I made what started as a self-insert oc that gradually transformed into my first trans character ever. Whack, lol.

-        Just a side thing, most of my damn stories have playlists and I swear, All Time Low/All American Rejects songs are exclusively this story’s official soundtrack.

-        The main character’s name is super…. Wow lol. Please bear with me I might change it, just… this was a story I started making when I was 11 and really liked ‘unique’ names instead of conventional ones >X,,D

-        Please have mercy on my tiny weeb soul.

Lolol ok, plot start naw. Keep in mind I was very influenced by anime at this point of my life so I started this in a stereotypical Japanese setting but made it more Americanized over the years. Big oof.

Protagonist (I called em Echo lol) is a hella poor girl living pretty much by herself in a shitty apartment. Her aunt is her caretaker but she’s never home and she doesn’t work. Echo has to work a job herself to make money for food. She has a quiet personality, long, terrible hair with split ends everywhere, and a boxy frame. She works doing lots of manual labor, adding to her poor health.

Because she’s always been quiet, no one knows who she really is. She’s just ‘that poor girl who never talks’,  and they mostly leave her alone. One particularly shitty night however, after getting fired without her pay, she gets caught by some hotshot popular dude and his cronies with her work uniform on. Kids aren’t supposed to work. He takes a picture and threatens to turn her in if she doesn’t follow him. He’s just looking for some easy fun with a docile girl he can make do anything. She’s done being docile.

In true anime fashion she beats the hell out of these dudes, trash talking them the entire time. She’s merciless, bashing them all black and blue until they pass out. Only once everyone but the main instigator is down does she take his phone. “I have back-ups!” The boy exclaims through broken teeth. She looks at him and posts the image onto his feed herself. She’s done going to school anyways. She destroys the phone, laughing, and he loses consciousness. She gets up and dusts herself off.

She had a spectator. Some dude had watched the whole thing from his fancy car. He thinks he could use someone like her.

The following week goes as expected. She’s expelled. Her aunt came to act as a concerned guardian in front of the school but left immediately after. She took Echo’s savings. Echo is laying in her mattress on the floor, pretty much wishing to be dead when a knock on the door breaks her concentration.

Oh boy. It’s the spectator dude with two other boys (one of em may end up being cut lol). He has a proposition. She join their prestigious team from some fancy school for something (idk I initially had her join a mob lol but these kids are still in highschool. Maybe their fighting club?) and they’ll pay for her tuition and living expenses. But there’s a catch. The team is boys-only and she has to crossdress. She signs up immediately anyways lol. From now on, she will live as a boy (so I will use he/him pronouns).

Hmm… mayhaps the reason Echo has such a ‘unique’ name is because he chose it himself. Like the edgy teen he is. Cries.

Echo packs his stuff and goes with em. He hears the specifics about his new group. Eric is the leader, who’s father founded the group. He clearly puts on an aura of being tough and in control, but his delivery is too forced. The spectator dude that found Echo is his co-leader, a guy who actually knows what he’s doing, but doesn’t want to overthrow Eric because he thinks it’s funny seeing him struggle. He is a dick lol. Depending on whether or not I’ll use him, the third dude is Eric’s best friend from childhood meant to be the soft one who helps Echo settle at first.

Moving on, I don’t have a coherent timeline of events, just scattered things that will happen. For sure, Eric and Echo keep butting heads, mostly because Eric tries to control Echo and the group as a whole too much, and Echo is like ‘dude, your demanding for perfection only makes me want to screw things up more to show you how unhealthy your expectations are. And also cuz youre cute when you’re mad.’

Eric has a legacy to live up to. He’s the classic worrywart trying to live up to an image and failing. Echo was brazen at first with his trying to mess Eric up, but he softens as he realizes how much it effects Eric. They eventually hear eachother out and come to a compromise. That’s the start of their friendship.

Then, a year later, comes Kimmie. She’s Eric’s childhood crush. She’s short, she’s plump, and she has a rude attitude. Eric’s been a simp for her since he was a kid. He tries way too hard to make her see him as a romantic partner; she’s the reason he grew out his hair when he heard her casually mention she likes it long.

What’s his reason for liking her so much? When they were kids, Eric was plump too, but unlike with her, kids would pick on him because he always just took it. She defended him a lot, and her fiery personality mixed with her ability to hit kids and get away with it made her feared. He idolized her ever since.

She reacts to this as well as you’d imagine a childhood crush staying just a crush is handled. Meaning she clearly sets up walls around him and tells him he’s not interested. Echo, however, catches her eye.

After a P.E session, Kimmie follows Echo to his usual changing place and catches him with his top off. Kimmie knew Echo was a ‘girl.’ Kimmie explains she had seen Echo before his transition. Echo laughs it off, finding her brazenness cute. “So what now? You wanna tell the school?” “… I require you for something actually…”

Kimmie is dating Echo now. Eric is devastated. Kimmie flaunts Echo around like a trophy, breaking many girl’s hearts that had previously asked him out. Echo has to follow her around as a part of their deal, but he doesn’t mind it. The more he learns about her, the more he likes her.

Eric tries to confront him about it along with his friends. Eric’s approach is…. Well… “You’re faking this, right? You don’t like girls, you’re not really a boy!” “Dude, I like what I like. Deal with it.” This response further punches Eric in the gut as everyone laughs nervously.

Some big event comes and Echo is Kimmie’s plus one. Eric doesn’t want to attend it so he stays in the mansion. Echo is feeling the guilt of the situation more with each day that passed. At the event, him and Kimmie have a great time, but when they escape the crowd and are alone, she tries for a kiss. Echo doesn’t proceed. Kimmie is disappointed, but Echo explains.

“I know the real reason you wanted to date me. It’s the same reason you touch my chest so much, why you wanted to see me in a dress, and why you told Eric you like long hair. Kimmie, you like girls.” He steps away from her. “And I can’t be your girlfriend in disguise.”

Kimmie is floored. She begins to cry. Echo is right. She’s a lesbian but she never wanted to accept it. She kept telling herself she’d find the right boy, and when Echo came, it felt so perfect. She thought she could just slip in and pretend that she was straight. But she isn’t.

She apologizes. She says, however, that she truly does like Echo now. Echo sighs and rubs their neck. “You can’t like me Kimmie… I’m not…” Kimmie thinks it through. “But… you were a girl before! The only reason you’re dressed like this is because of the contract!” “Yeaaaah… but I kinda like it now. This feels…. Better. More me.” Echo grins with confidence. “I’m a man now.”

Kimmie takes Echo’s figure in and sighs. “Ew. I can’t be date a man.” They laugh and break up, Echo going back home. Kimmie returns to the party and is spotted by one of Eric’s friends. He asks where Echo is and she tells him everything. Echo is going home, him and Kimmie just broke up. The friend tells Kimmie some comforting words before running away to the hall to call Eric and tell him the good news. Kimmie is available again, and he can be more aggressive this time!

Eric is slumped in the couch after binging Netflix and eating a pint of icecream. When he hears the news, his mind is stuck on only one piece of information. Echo is coming back home. Instead of feeling happy about Kimmie being available again, Eric realizes Echo is coming back after a break up. His worrywart tendencies has him picturing a comedically sobbing Echo, ruthlessly broken up with by Kimmie, wondering how he could continue to live without her. He cleans up the couch and by the time Echo enters, he’s saved him a spot on the couch and his own pint of icecream. Echo laughs but sits right beside him, accepting the comfort, even if Eric doesn’t know the full story. They have a nice night together, and by the morning, Kimmie’s sexuality is revealed thanks to a picture she posted in her social media celebrating with a girl she kissed.

She’s officially out and happier for it. Eric congratulates her when they run into eachother in the hallway. She’s surprised he’s not as sad as she expected him to be, but she’s touched by how genuinely kind he’s being to her. They stay friends, and even get closer thanks to Kimmie now putting her walls down again.

Movin on to another story event, Eric’s mom has been away for most of Echo’s stay, but she comes back. Eric has made it clear that Echo should stay away from her, and never let her know his transition. She somehow finds out thanks to some mishaps anyways. When the contract is revealed, she is ASTOUNDED that her boy would force a GIRL to live as a MAN. She’s putting a stop to this! She takes Echo away for a weekend spa treatment, girling Echo up, talking over him through the whole thing, never listening to his complaints and only reassuring herself that Echo is safe now and free to be pretty and feminine once more! It’s the proper way!

Needless to say Echo is uncomfortable.

The more Eric’s mom talks about herself and her own life, it’s clear that her way of thinking stems from some issues she had as a kid, being forced to work and to give up feminine things, but Echo doesn’t feel like she did at all. And though Echo enjoys some of the spa things, and doesn’t much mind being put in a dress, he just… prefers a suit. Would rather stay at home training with the group. Would rather keep his hair short as opposed to the length Eric’s mom proposes him to grow it at. It’s a bunch of little things, but they culminate in solidifying to Echo… he just wants to stay a boy. He’s not being forced to be one. He genuinely likes it.

When they return from their trip, Echo is in a skirt and heels. He is dolled up with professional make up and styled hair. The group ogles him, but as comments get thrown around about how good Echo looks as a girl, Eric can’t feel the same. He just feels it’s too… off. He doesn’t bring it up, he’s afraid he’ll hurt Echo’s feelings. All his mom’s mutterings got to him, and Eric feels guilty for forcing Echo to live as a man. 

During dinner, he reassures his mom and Echo that they can get rid of the contract and Echo can live in their house and attend their school clause free.

Echo stops him right there.

“I don’t want to be a girl. I’m a boy.”

Eric and his mom are confused. They try to reassure Echo, but Echo continues. “No. No offence ma’am, but all weekend, you have talked over me, never listening to what I have to say. I don’t want to be a girl. I am not like you. I do not share your experiences nor your desires. I like being a boy. I like being called a boy. I like dressing like a boy. I want to be known as a boy.”

Echo gets up.

“I’m going to go change now. But before I go, I want to keep the contract. I have no problem with any of the conditions.” Echo looks at Eric and smiles. “I like being a part of the group and competing with you guys.” He’s flustered by his sincerity. Echo leaves. For the rest of the day, Echo is unbothered in his room, but when night comes, Eric goes up to bring him some food.

Echo didn’t really wash off the make up very good (damn that high quality stuff), and his hair is a mess. But he’s in comfortable clothes and he brings in Eric so they can hang. They talk about trivial stuff at first, spend an hour playing a game, and when it’s 3am, Eric gathers the guts to talk about it. That he’s glad Echo stood up for himself, and he sees him as a boy too. Echo bursts into laughter, teasing Eric.

“So that’s what you were so nervous about. I thought you were planning to ask me on a date.” More flustered Eric. “W-Why would I-“ Echo gives him a half hug that stops him, hiding his own blushing face. “Thanks…” Eric hugs him back. It’s yet another sweet moment before they finally get together…. In some other event in the future mwahahaha. Idk, I haven’t decided yet when they confess and actually start going out ;p cries.

Welp, there ya go. This is a story I still cringe at because of how anime it starts but damn these chars got me. I love Echo, Eric and Kimmie ;o; I’m sorry I’m a sucker v-v

[stinkyratshadowgod]

Crazy Storyline Apex Theory

(P.s: I’m reposting because Tumblr F*CKING ate my first post)

Okay in the trailer for the new event “Lost Treasures”, we see at the end that in Mila (in some way) spoke to Crypto through his drone, saying “Tae, it’s me. Be carefull! they’re watching you”. Naturally i was going to joke “Haha Mila is going to be the next Apex Legends next season lmao”. But then i stopped and thought more about it, and instead of making a joke, i decided to write a theory about why is that plausible and it’s going to be the next storyline (or maybe...this storyline)

Okay what do we know about Mila? Not much actually, she and Tae found a prediction algorithm that is directly related to the Apex Games (but we don’t know who made that and the real purpose), and then she saves it in a pen drive, leaves and is found “dead” next morning, with her brother being blamed as the killer

I know that this isn’t a lot to work with, but i think it’s enough to cook something. The name of my plate (aka theory) is “Apex is going to pull up a Winter Soldier and make Mila a brainwashed soldier (or expert Hacker) from Hammond”. You better enjoy it while it is still hot

1-Mila is still alive

Ok so why do i believe that? It’s because i believe that Mila is actually alive (even tho it’s a schrodinger cat paradox situation because shes alive and dead at the same at, and we will only know the real result when Respawn pulls her out of the “box”).

My evidences is that 1-The new trailer (lol) and 2-Shes actually pretty usefull: Shes a hacker, a good one, she was the one (with the help of Tae) to unlock the prediction programm, and she developed the system that unlock it (or at least had the knowledge that the system she found online would help unlock the algorithm). And because shes connected to the biggest hacker of the outlands, so perhaps they are going to use her to blackmail Crypto to stop going after the truth.

Respawn never explained how the brothers found the algorithm, but whatever the case is, if the sindicate would go out of their way to “eliminate” Mila and then go after her brother (but we know that this time they wanted for real kill Crypto) that must mean that the prediction algorithm must be really important, and we know why:

2-Season 4 (and the Override event)

Hammond had great interest in the Apex Games in the start of Season 4, and so they made a deal with the AG, and so Hammod brought us 1-Revenant (the best decision ever i love him but i better stop or else i will write a full essay on why i love Rev); 2-The evo shield (at least i headcannon that the evo shields are a Hammond creation in order to please the Legends), but in return they would build the planet harvester and do some promotion...it’s just me that thinks that a big company especialized in robotics (and titans) would only bring a harvester and do a propaganda to show that their hip and cool?

Even the harvester is a little weird, because: 1-The Apex Games takes ages after Titanfall 2 campaign (10 years i belive), and the war is over, so the need of building Titans wouldn’t be very necessary, yeah they can be used as heavy machinery in hazardous jobs, but the main use of the titans was military, and they already use MRVNS units to replace humans. I know that building robots and guns requires a lot of materials, but the harvester seems like a little bit of a overkill, also are we even sure that they are collecting materials for the robots? (which brings me to my next point)

2-What the heck is the planet harvester even harvesting?  By the looks of the big lazer, it looks like they are actually harvesting the core of the world edge’s planet (idk if it’s also sucking materials for robots and guns, but you never see pieces of scraps flying up with the lazer, and we don’t see a storage thing to store the minerals)

I believe the real reason that Hammond is so interested in the Apex Games is actually because of 2 mf’s: 1-Revenant (since he was killing all the Hammonds workers and those connected to the simulacrum project) and 2-Crypto, since hes the one going after their tail, and Hammond knows that Crypto has the actual powers to be a real problem to them, so they partner up with the Apex Games just to keep a closer eye to Tae Joon (and Revenant but who can blame them Rev is a real eye treat).

(Side point: While i was writting this theory, i remembered a critical point of the Override event...the rewards, the rewards you got when you gained points, and in the points reward’s menu, we see this:

At first we thought this was Rev doing, but when you think about, it doesn’t make a lot of sense since Revenant doesn’t give a crap about helping people, he just wants to kill (go you, you funky lil robot), and when you think more about it, hes couldn’t pull that off since hes not a computer specialist. The only character that could this is Crypto, but Tae A)Already knows that Hammond cannot be trusted or B)He coudn’t have predicted the partnership. My point is, Crypto also didn’t left the message (cuz it would be weird leaving a message about something that seems obivious to yourself). So the only one remaining is...Mila Mila is somewhere in the Outlands (maybe she escaped or she sneakily sended the message through the place she is being held) sending messages to Crypto.

2.5-The bunkers

You know whats weirder than The Planet Harvester? The underground holes (bunker? vaults? Its hard to use these words since they’re already taken) introduced in Season 5. In the trailer they looked like bunkers that you could open at any moment (like a trapdoor). In the release of season 5 the first thing i saw youtubers do is try to open the bunkers, they failed, and then they tried to use Loba (and they would usually fail and fall to their death, which was funny content). So i thought “Okay, maybe it’s going to be like Fortnite and with each week they are going to open one by one (and yes i play Fortnite casually, it’s actually a great and fun game), and nothing. So i ask “What is the purpose of those trapdoors?”

In the trailer of the new event, after Mila talked with Crypto through the Drone, it showed us a underground bunker opening, perhaps it’s Mila, or at least a secret base that Mila used to send Crypto the messages to warn him about Hammond. Whatever the case is, i strongly believe thats it’s going to be something related to Mila

3-The artifact and the “broken ghost”

The name “broken ghost” is actually a weird name for something that has something to with Loba, sure you can say “It actually refers to something that is going to be used against Revenant” or “It’s actually something that we are going to use to bring back Ash from the Titanfall 2 campaign” and while yes that can be the case (especially the Ash theory) i actually believe that what we’re building is a universal locator, a locator used to locate everything and everyone in the outlands. You may be asking “...okay...why?” And i tell you: “The legends don’t live together”

On what i mean by that: In a tweet sended by Tom Casiello, he told us that the legends don’t live in the dropship or in a big house like housemates  (even tho i decided that in my heart they are one big family of friends living together in a mansion, with each one of them having a room with their themes). And in the Chapter 4 of the storyline, it’s revealed that Bangalore and Lifeline live in diferent houses.

Where i am going with this is: Crypto is still living like a nomad, always running (and he even says in one of the elimination lines [“Sometimes you get tired of running, I understand, but you can't ever stop."], thus showing that even in the Apex games, hes running from the sindicate, the people who got his sister and now is after him, but as we can see, they still didn’t got him. Hammond could be building a robot (since the artifact [currently] looks like a skull, which spookes me a lil bit) that could pinpoint the exact location of Crypto and finally capture him.

Now for the most bonker part of this theory: They brainwashed Mila and turned her into a winter soldier

As i already said, Mila is actually pretty useful, not only because of her smarts, but because of the advantage that using someone that Crypto is closely familiar with could bring his downfall. So heres what i concluding: Mila gets brainwashed by Hammond in order to have someone to be a strong match against the best hacker of all the outlands and get rid of a big threat.

You may be asking “How?” and for that, i call my favorite boy:

4-Revenant (also yes this is a excuse to talk more about my main)

Rev doesn’t need a introduction, but heres one anyway: He was a hitman that at some point has died, so Hammond used his still somewhat salvageable brain to put it in a Simulacrum (in which i headcannon that at the same time they were also experimenting with some supernatural elements, but thats a theory for another day). after 200 years, during a hitjob he found out about who he really was and now here we are...do i need to say more?...really? Okay then: Hammond showed that they can brainwash simulacrums for an extensive period of time (200+ years i believe) in order to make them believe that they are actually human (even tho climbing a 15 store building, turning into a shadow and stabbing people with hands isn’t very...human). So in Rev backstory (and in the simulacrum lore) Hammond shows that they have the capacity to brainwash brains since the simulacrums are in a way cyborgs, being 99% robot and 1% human (that would be the brain btw). So using these techniques on a human would be very easy (i think?, i don’t know a lot of Simulacrums cuz they’re not real)

5-”THE broken ghost”

I want to touch upon is the name “The Broken Ghost”, i know that people believe that it’s actually Ash from Titanfall 2 (because spoilers she died), but don’t you think it’s weird that even 10 years after the main campaign, they couldn’t bring Ash back? I know that Simulacrums are diferent from robots, but couldn’t they just repaired Ash? And to answer myself: No. You see Simulacrums have an internal brain that is used to datastore information, but Rev is a special boy cuz hes handsome and his storage system is external, so in another words, when she died in the explosion caused by when a Titan is destroyed (or worse if you did an execution on her), her brain was destroyed, thus meaning that there is absolutely no way to bring her back. And yes, i just debunked the theories about how Ash is actually the broken ghost. Speaking of ghosts, that brings me on another point

6-Revenants and Ghosts

I wanna talk briefly about real life urban legends. First the Revenant myth is that a phisical deceased person who returns from the dead with an eternal rage for revenge, they are strong, smart and imortal, only leaving the world of the living when his thirst of revenge is sated (which fits very well for our baby boy Rev from Apex Legends)

And the Ghost is a spiritual deceased person who starts haunting the world of the living, sending chills down the spines of those who looks at them.

While yes their backstories are similar, their main diferences is that Revenants are corporial, and ghosts are spiritual, aka, Ghosts have the ability to dissapear and make people wonder if what they saw was real or not. Sounds familiar? If not, let me spell out for you: Mila. In the Crypto’s backstory, she suddenly dissapeared from Tae’s life, even in a surreal way since his life suddenly came crashing down overnight. And even better: If she was truly the broken ghost and got introduced in the Apex Games next season, that would really mess with Crypto’s brain, cuz his paranoia would make him wonder if his sister was back for real or not.

7-”Hold up”

-Said the handsome reader, scratching their brain (and yes i write fanfics)-”What does that mean for the future of Apex Legends and the storyline?”. I look at them, with the fire of knowledge burning through my eyes-“Let me tell you about the Winter Soldier movie from Marvel”

One key element from the Winter Soldier is that he was being brainwashed by Hidra (a Marvel version of the Nazis) and Bucky Barnes would transform into a emotionless killing machine, ready to kill the next target or those who got in his/Hidra’s way. But one thing that would turn him back into a normal human is his best friend Captain America, that through his pursue and persistence, by the end of the movies he saves Bucky from the brainwash trance and later movies he becomes Captain’s ally (and my OTP don’t @ me)

So if everything i talked about here is correct, heres what i think it’s going to happen: By the end of the storyline, it’s going to be revealed that Mila is alive, but she has been brainwashed by Hammond to kill Crypto. Even tho hes the main target and it would go against his better judgement, hes going to try save Mila from the brainwash trance, and not only that, hes going to use the help of Mirage. “Mirage?”-Asked the reader-”What the heck does Mirage have to do with an complicated story about family reunion, betrayl, saving someone from brainwash and fighting against a evil corporation?” and for that, i call Tom Casiello yet again (and a piece of Tae’s past):

8-Mirage, Casiello and a letter

In a early Season 5 tweet, Casiello confirmed that Mirage and Crypto’s story is far from done, and they would have many misadventures together, and while everybody (myself included) read it as Cryptage fuel, now i can confirm that Crypto is going to need Mirage’s help to make Mila remember who she was. You ask again ”But why Mirage?”, well, while i was researching Crypto’s page on the wiki, i found a peculiar letter that he sent for someone: “[Mystik -- I survived my first match, with only two broken ribs. Being as safe as I can, and keeping my distance. Unfortunately, the others are already asking about the Tower. The one Legend you love confronted me on the dropship. I thought he had evidence, but it turns out he’s just an idiot.There are two others here who are BIG guys. Like your son. Very intimidating. I’m sure one’s a sociopath, but I may have judged the other too soon. His name is Makoa Gibraltar, and he’s here to help Legends survive. I always chalked the Games up to neanderthals trying to prove something. Turns out some of them have a strong code of ethics. Ironically, the only neanderthal I’ve met trying to prove something… is me. Burn this letter as soon as you receive it. Will write when I can. Family forever. --TJP]” (https://apexlegends.gamepedia.com/Crypto)

Now you’re wondering “what the heck is that letter? Who is “Mystik” ”, and according to the wiki, Mystik is Crypto and Mila’s former caretakers at Ticacek Orphanage in Suotamo, aka the closest person they had to a parent. And in the letter, Crypto knows that Mirage is Mystik’s favorite legends, showing that him, Mila and their caretaker watched the Apex Games together

Thats where Mirage comes in: Crypto is going to use Mirage’s handsome and familiar face to remind Winter Soldier Mila the past, and then try to deactivate the brainwash (and headcannon, we are going to visit Angel City (the place where Mila and Tae used to live together) and collect parts of Crypto’s past and then bring it back to try make Mila remember who she was, but the FBI and Hammond is going to stop the legends)

Oh, and before you leave, ask yourself this: “How can a ghost get broken?”, now, instead of trying to find an answer, i’ll be kind enough to respond it to you (you’re welcome ;) ): Mila is the ghost that Hammond broke and put it together into Winter Soldier Mila, and then Crypto is going to have to break the ghost again to put back the right pieces

(I wanna thank everybody that somehow read everything, i do apologize if broke my english in some parts, it’s not my first language, also i would appreciate if yall could share my theory. It’s because i worked so hard on it, and it’s probably only going to receive like 10 likes and 3 reblogs. Also if you have a piece of information that could be considered important for my theory, please do let me know)

part 2 here

[seblore]

everyday i wake up and you still havent posted your evermore rant </3

there u go boo 👩���❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

GDBDNSKDJHHDDNDS GIRL................ ok so i very cleverly avoided ranking folklore because every song REALLY HIT and the whole album was just SO.. SO.. yeah. i can however rank miss evermore. i dont want to compare the two album i do not get the point in that. both give off really different vibes. now what i will say is with folklore, AS AN ALBUM, it is just a master masterpiece. The songs flowed amazingly with each other and really held you close the entire first listen. at least thats what I felt like <3 with evermore however, the individual songs are OMG!!! THERE IS LITERALLY NO SONG I DONT LIKE FROM ANY OF THE TWO ALBUMS. but as an album on the first listen i did feel a bit disconnected from evermore which didnt happen to me with folklore. why i think that might’ve happened is BECAUSE taylor is just so brilliant m8.... the MASSIVE contrasting emotions between the songs was too much for my little brain to handle.

Ok so now that’s out of the way dhsjsk time for rankings :) i have no idea where im going to put each song im just going to make it up as we go <3 ill ALSO give you my fave lyrics from each if I remember it <333 (oh and also you’ll notice marjorie isnt here. im sorry but i never listened to it after the first listen because it hits a little too close to home and i dont want to unpack all of that now im sorry! it is a beautiful song)

14. Closure: she popped off <3 she really said dont treat me like a situation that needs to be handled 💃🤙💯 a beautiful song with beautiful lyrics HOWEVER its the first song i couldnt connect with thus it’s down here BUT I STILL WOULD LISTEN TO IT ON REPEAT THO... the last in my ranking but still fucks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ thats taylor swift 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

13. long story short: i have never been in a relationship ever BUT GODDAMN ‘pushed from the precipice, clung to the nearest lips’ hdjsksksjjddjnBbdns jddd ubebs!:!?:?:$3&39383$hzjs WOAH.... and this bitch really summarized the full 2016 drama with long story short it was a bad time. HILARITY. yeah not much to say here tho this is just the ‘at least one mandatory song to shake your tits to on each ts album’ song of evermore <3 and always remember that if the shoe fits walk in it TILL YOUR HIGH HEELS BREAK WOOH ANDIFELLDOWNTHEPEDESTALRIGHTDOWNTHERA—

12: dorothea: making a lark of misery :D RENt free. i had to listen to ‘if youre tired of being known for who you know you know youll always know me’ 113 times to finally understand it tho 😐 some of us are stupid and illiterate have you ever thought about that miss swift???? anyways TINGTINGTINGINGINGING THE STARS IN YOUR EYES SHINED BRIGHTER IN TUPELO <33333 such an innocent feel good song I LOVE!!!!!

11. ivy: the goddamn here and the hush of mirrorball ARE THE REASON IM STILL ALIVE 😽 another lyrical masterclass <3 ‘id live and die for moments that we stole on begged and borrowed time’ IS2G!!!!!!!!!!! anyways what if you cheated on your husband with me and i cheated on my husband with you and my pain fit in the palm of your freezing hands 😳 JK JK 😅 unless...... 🤪😏 hdjsks yeah this song is magnificently cursed and i am in love with it 🧎‍♀️

10. tis the damn season: this song is august but the other side of the coin. august but four months later. AUGUST SLIPPED AWAY LIKE A BOTTLE OF WINE- THE HOLIDAYS LINGER LIKE A BAD PERFUMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE... she sounds so pretty goshhh! ‘time flies messy as the mud on your truck tires NOW IM MISSING YOUR SMILE hear me out we could just ride around and the road not taken looks real good now’ is on repeat in my mind. and as always the bridge ::::::::::::::.............:::::::::::::: how does she do this everytime. ‘and wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles im faking’ 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ after every ts song i listen my expectations about true love grows exponentially and my chances of finding true love falls exponentially simultaneously ADIEU.

9. willow: she really took the invisible string quartet and put it in huh..................... FUCKED IN THE HEADDDDDDDDDDDDDD. what can i say <3 its just such a pretty song <3 hashtag gorgeous hashtag i cant say anything to its face. WRECK MY PLANS!!!!!! WRECK IT BITCH!!! ‘wait for the signal and ill meet you after dark’ LOVE STORY WHIPLASH. also mate i cant even focus on the song she looks SO GOOD in the music video i—

8. happiness: !!!! what can i say.... one of the best songs of the album hands down. lyrical masterpiece AND musically rich. she really logged into tumblr dot com and typed out ‘THERE’LL BE HAPPINESS AFTER YOU’ AND ‘THERE WAS HAPPINESS BECAUSE OF YOU’ ARE IDEAS THAT CAN COEXIST and logged off...... h8 her and her insanity. the one word i have to describe this song is: picturesque. tis a picturesque song <3 oh and dfbhhffcbhDDVHHTRSDVJK when i heard ‘i hope she’ll be a beautiful fool who takes my spot next to you’ i audibly GASPED and then she says ‘no i didnt mean that sorry i cant see facts through all of my fury’................. i fell out of my chair. IT FELT LIKE AS IF SHE HEARD MY GASP AND TOLD ME SPECIFICALLY THAT NO SHE DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT... anyways yeah. ill write an article one day named THE SWIFT DECEPTION OF TAYLOR about how she keeps writing songs with deceptive titles and this will be the opening case 😈🤙 also the fact that this is one of my faves and i put it in number 8 says a lot......

7. evermore: i havent recovered from ‘motion capture. put me in a bad light’. i mean come on the whole goddamn song is a lyrical masterpiece. ‘writing letters addressed to the fire’. IS SHE OK!????????????? i think tf not. beautiful song beautiful arrangement. iver sounded really good too. and lol lol rofl WOOFWOOFbarkbark ‘HEY DECEMBER GUESS IM FEELING UNMOORED’ unmoored definition from google dot com: no longer attached. she doesn’t go back to december anymore. about2 faint oml. long story short: i did not survive. THIS PAIN WOULD BE FOR EVERMORE........ what i felt with this song is that she took the quarantine sadness we all felt at least once this year and made it into a masterpiece of a song. couldve been easily the top song on any album except this. no i will not elaborate <3

6. no body no crime: i cannot believe. she teased us with a musical number. this woman teased us with. a musical number. I THINK SHE IS WRITING A MUSICAL BUT I JUST CANT PROVE IT! when she wins that tony 16 years later call me prophetic xoxo. anyways yeah she literally wrote this to flex her storytelling abilities. send tweet 🐥

5. cowboy like me: YEEEHAWWW I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THE FULL SONG SOUNDS LIKE I JUST HAVE THE BRIDGE ON REPEAT!!!! OMFG!!! the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up. AAAA!! ??? STFU. IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS MATE THE WAY ITS SUNG!!!!!!! GUT WRENCHING! the best bridge she has ever written musically. i cant stop listening to it. REALLYYY DID BELIEEEVE I WAS THE ONEEE. STORIESSS ABOUT WHEEEN YOU PASSSEDDD THROUGHH TOWN. y e l l. and then she hits me with ‘now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon.’ L ???? M !!!!! A $$$$$ O “”””” i had to pause it and sit there for 10 minutes to take in what i had just heard. case closed critical hit sustained yeedhawd.

4. tolerate it: i cried. the only reason it’s not 1 is because it hurt me too much. WHAT THE FUCK YOU MF YOU ASSUME IM FINE BUT WYD IF I BREAK FREE AND LEAVE US IN THE RUINS???? TOOK THIS DAGGER IN ME AND REMOV— m8 this physically hurts me everytime. if its all in my head TELL ME RN. aghhh aRghhhhhhh. pain. and lol she broke down sleep to its bare essentials ‘breathing with your eyes closed’.

3. ??? coney island: i know it’s a bit of a controversial top three but WHO CARES 🕴this is solely here for ‘AND IM SITTING ON A BENCH IN CONEY ISLAND wondering where did my BABYy GO’ im shaking. my bed is shaking. my body is shaking. my pupils are shaking. THE WAY SHE SINGS IT OH MY GOODNESS ME i have to lie down gimme a sec. ‘and if this is the long haul howd we get here so soon 😟’ SCREAM. and when i was hearing it for the first time and she said ‘sorry for not making you my centerfold’ i was like yeah and?? so what?? and then she hits me with ‘over and over’...... so she didnt make him/her/them her centerfold over and over !!!!!!! she is sorry she didnt do it over and over!!!!!! mannn.... the chorus.. i shall not speak. i am held at gunpoint i CANNOT SPEAK. the bridge tho dhdnsksksjsb I CAN SPEAK AND I SHALL SPEAK. BITCH WENT OFFFFFFFF. <3 this is the apology she deserved from her exes which she never got so she wrote it herself. podium. grey skies. birthday cake. ACCIDENT. im laughingggggggggggg <///3 and yeah so overall it is a really yummy song with yummy vocals and yummy arrangement 9/10 would recommend. also!! life lessons kids life lessons. disappointments? SIMPLY CLOSE YOUR EYES AND PRETEND YOU DO NOT SEE IT YAAAAAAAAAS

2. gold rush: ETHEREAL!!!!!! The last time i felt like this™️ whilst listening to a song was with mirrorball <3 the production of this song omg omg omg LOVE 💃 but what propelled it to number two status was the ‘i dont like slow motion double vision in ROSE BLUSH/ i dont like that falling feels like flying till the BONE CRUSH’ imagine how fucked in the head a person needs to be to rhyme rose blush with bone crush. yeah i have nothing more to say really this song is extremely gorgeous and ‘eyes like sinking ships on water so inviting i almost jumped in’ / ‘walk past quick brush’ ?:!:!&:8483 F A V E <33333 and the transition transmission transfusion from ‘... gray old tea cuz itll never be ᵍˡᵉᵃᵃᵃᵃᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʷⁱⁿᵏˡⁱⁿᵍᵍᵍᵍ’ MADAME

1. champagne problems: are we surprised? ARE WE REALLY SURPRISED? when listening to new albums i normally listen to it at one go in order. i stick to that rule. HOWEVER after many years of my solid album listening self made rule tm i finally broke and immediately replayed this mf song after listening to it once. ‘you had a speech, youre speechless/ love slipped beyond your reaches’???? stfu???? VILE. PUNISHABLE. DEROGATORY. and welp the entire bridge ...... .... ........... what can i say. And the parallels to miss all too well??? WHAT WAS THE REASON???? your SISTER splashed out on the bottle- left my scarf there at your SISTER’s house 😐 she’ll patch up your tapestry that i SHRED- maybe this thing was a masterpiece till you TORE it all up 😐 your MOM’s ring in your pocket- your MOTHER’s telling stories bout you on the tee ball team 😐 November flush and your FLANNEL cure- PLAID shirt days and nights when you made me your own 😐 wHAT A SHAME SHE IS FUCKED IN THE HEAD IS2G........... and also why would she not rhyme POCKET with LOCKET?????? why with wallet???????????? slant rhyme why????????????? AND THE NOTE THIS MF SONG ENDS ON..... FUCKED IN THE HEAD

THATS IT. i really sat here and did this for the past 2 hours huh...... hhdjsms anyways LONG STORY SHORT: I HATE ONE INSANE WOMAN AND HER NAME IS TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT. GODSPEEED 🏃‍♀️

[criticallyalexandrite]

wait I'm kind of confused by that post about "if you use the word squick you're a freak" thing. I almost always see it used to mean something that's not a trigger but is off limits for reading/writing. Like, certain things are triggers for my OCD and trauma but certain forms of gore is just something that makes me uncomfortable. So I would call that a squick. is there another explanation I'm not aware of? (sincerely asking because I obviously don't want to use it if it's bad)

(Tw: CSA trauma, child abuse, abuse and personal abuse story)I don’t think anarchist-queer was trying to bash people who personally choose to use the term and find it helpful. I personally don’t hate the the term inherently either despite my ranty addition to that thread. I don’t know if I can fully speak for OP there. But what I was trying to get across in my post was my personal issue with the origin of the term and the way some popular anti antis are using it. A lot of popular anti antis are literally trying to haze people with fiction based triggers into using that term INSTEAD of trigger.Which is you know very ableist. I wouldn’t have an issue with the term otherwise if the attitude of the anti antis who coined the term was like “You can use it if you want but if you don’t that’s ok too.” In one of the most popular threads I saw on the manner the tone OP was using sounded very dismissive of fiction based triggers. Like they thought the very idea of fiction based triggers was “too discoursey” and that’s why we should just bring back the term squick instead. It was prioritizing “less discourse” over the mental health of antis. I haven’t checked the OP of that particular thread but I wouldn’t be shocked if they thought that antis are lying about being triggered by fictional scenarios (many anti antis legit believe this.)I know this is the case for many anti antis who platform the promotion of the term. Not just from my experience of being called out by theassholeantiarchive for daring to be raped by a NOMAP. (Seriously, theassholeantiarchive initially called me out over that. The mod who did immediately assumed i was lying.) But also due to my experience with the NOMAP in question, best0utthere. He’s a long time advocate for the anti anti community. He even talked a lot about directly experiencing the Anne Rice discourse himself which suggests he’s pretty old. Anyways, how that’s connected to my discomfort with how and why the term squick was coined is this. It’s because the anti antis who made it initially wanted to shut down antis who said they’re triggered by fictional characters/stories/scenarios. Didn’t matter the full context or even if the trauma related to the trigger was real. Anti antis like Best believe that people who claim to be triggered by anything fictional are just using  triggers to “trollbait” people into not embracing their full creativity.He legit believes that and due to how much social influence he’s had on the anti anti community, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was one of the people who helped coin the term. Or was at least around when the term was originally made. (Btw I don’t suggest actually asking him yourself, cuz he’s a dangerous person who doesn’t respect  nsfw boundaries.) I even have a retraumatization experience surrounding him insisting that was why I’m traumatized by pedo ships/pedophilia AU’s (Pedo AU’s are basically…taking a character who isn’t a pedo and making them into one.)Even though he’s literally the reason that I have that trigger in the first place.But he didn’t know that at the time he demonized my trigger. Still regardless, that was triggering for me in itself. This happened between us in a Wander Over Yonder discord server. One that was run by slogbait on tumblr. It’s not up anymore because me leaving the server over Best doing that apparently killed the server or something. (Not that I’m remorseful of that lol.) But yeah that experience of mine is I can’t help but side eye people who are so against using the term trigger to refer to fictional characters/stories/scenarios that trigger someone.It’s one thing if you (and by you I mean generally referring to anyone who prefers the term squick) prefer the term squick  for whatever reason. I can definitely see how it can be a legit helpful term to people. If it helps you, more power to you. This is definitely a situation where you can separate the idea from the creator. So I’m not gonna bash on people who use it. But I will absolutely be suspicious if someone intends to pressure others to use it when talking about fictional scenarios and ideas that cause them panic attacks or flashbacks or any other form of debilitating breakdowns. Because that IS different from just choosing to use the term squick for yourself. That’s both invalidating necessary language people need to use to explain how something is a trauma reminder and also demonizing people who don’t want to say squick in place of trigger. I think whichever word someone chooses to use to describe that, squick or trigger, should be up to the person. Some bitter and way too paranoid anti anti blogger shouldn't’ be allowed to haze and guilt trip people into choosing them for them.Does that make sense?Also to clarify in case my tone comes across that way…I’m not mad at you Connie. My tone just might sound kinda intense right now because this is a topic matter I take really seriously. And I’m also trying to put all the effort I can into using the right wording and tone. Sometimes that can result in me using a more intense tone with my posts than I intended to.

[aldbooks]

Desperada

...

What the everloving hell did I just watch?

Beware the salt... also the GIF use lol

Basically... I fucking hated it. The entire time I watched it, the majority of the words coming out my mouth were some variation of “what the fuck? This is excruciating!” I honestly can’t believe I actually watched it twice 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ok so, first we start off with some quality Lukanette and even Marinette’s friends are all “Wow! Marinette and Luka are so cute together. What a good match they make. Maybe she should give him a shot instead of Adrien?!”

But then of course, Adrien shows up!... with Kagami. And Marinette, predictably, becomes Disasternette. At this point, we’re not even two minutes in and I already kinda wanna turn it off.

So then the gang goes above stairs to see what’s going on and Disasternette becomes even worse when Jagged Stone asks her to help him find a new guitarist. Everyone of course expects her to say Luka, cuz duh. But no. She picks 🥁... Adrien.

Who doesn’t even play guitar.

Then Jagged says “what about that kid wearing my face on his shirt with the guitar strapped on his back?” (Lol) and Mari’s like “oh, of course!” Cue short lived sigh of relief, cuz it’s immediately followed by “Luka can let Adrien borrow his guitar!”

At this point I’m actually kinda angry. Because not only are they once again making Marinette look like an absolute fool, they made beautiful, selfless Luka look like a complete push over because he just gives the guitar to Adrien to please Marinette. Wtf??

And still, we’re not even four minutes in. At this point, I know this is going to be a very long episode.

So, now the introduction to this episode’s akuma, Desperada. I ain’t mad it. Cool costume design, semi legit reason for akumatization, also, we now know what that random akuma from the Gamer 2.0 episode is that we were all like who the heck is that?

Fast forward a little here: Mari has a bit of an ah-ha moment with Tikki like “omg why did I give the guitar to Adrien? Why am I like this?” (Unfortunately it isn’t the development we’re hoping for though, as we find out very soon)

There are some quality Lukadrien moments as they both try to hide from Desperada and help Ladybug.

There’s a moment where Luka plays his guitar and both Ladybug and Adrien go all dreamy eyed, which I loved (Lukadrinette for the win) but my salty ass kinda wanted Adrien to see Ladybug getting goo-goo eyed over someone else and get jealous. Lmao

Anyways, so Lucky Charm gives her a gong and we all know that means it’s time for a new miraculous holder. Yay! Of course it’s obvious now this is Viperion’s episode but there’s a moment of confusion (and an epic face palm) when Marinette is all “I know the perfect person for the job! 🥁 Adrien!”

Seriously? Wtf.

Upon hearing that Ladybug wants to give the miraculous to Adrien, Chat Noir distracts Ladybug long enough to destransform so he can accept it.

Also see here how he pushes Luka back into the locker like “why don’t you just stay here 😉” so she won’t think to give it to him instead, when she can’t immediately find Adrien.

So Adrien and Plagg debate (read: Plagg tries to talk some sense into his idiot holder who completely ignores him cuz “omg ladybug needs me!” Um, yeah dipshit, she needs you to be Chat Noir) and for a hot minute I think we’re gonna get Snake Noir. But, Adrien wants Ladybug to fall in love with him as ‘himself’ 🤦🏻‍♀️ So never mind.

Also for a hot minute I think Adrien is going to actually do the right thing and refuse, but of course not, because this is ML...

Side note: Adrien’s acting when he opens the box and pretends to be surprised to see a kwami is on point.

Side side note: I don’t know what I expected Sass’s transformation phrase to be, but it def wasn’t “scales slither” 😒 and also, his transformation sequence is terrible and that costume is a travesty. (His end pose also kinda reminds of the gif of the guy from Road to El Dorado aggressively playing the mandolin😂)

Anyway, so for basically the first time ever, we actually see Ladybug explaining the miraculous rules and powers to the new holder. Adrien tells a corny joke and basically acts just like Chat, to which Ladybug giggles

Again I think Adrien is about to do the right thing when Ladybug basically tells him to his face that Chat Noir is an unnecesary part of the team; so, naturally, he doesn’t.

Basically both of these kids act like selfish little shits so they can spend time together. For once I’m actually very proud of Plagg for calling Adrien out. “You’re supposed to be saving Paris, not flirting!”

What happens next is a montage of Adrien epically failing to save Ladybug with the Second Chance (do I sense a metaphor here? Is this foreshadowing? Ha! As if). He finally gives up the miraculous and good lord, thank you!

Then we find out he failed over 25k times before he finally made the right call...

So Luka shows up and of course it’s Adrien who is all “Luka should have the miraculous” not Ladybug (because she can’t actually chose Luka herself for anything) And of course Luka just stands there while she kisses Adrien and thanks him for his help, blatantly letting Luka know he was the second choice (def a metaphor). *sigh*

Luka’s transformation of course is hella dope. I really wanted Ladybug to have an “oh no. He’s hot” moment, cuz let’s be real...

Also, why is Ladybug suddenly completely cool with civilians knowing the identity of a miraculous holder???

We’re now over 17 minutes into the episode, nearly the end, and I’m just now realizing that the episode where Luka is introduced as Viperion, isn’t even about him.

Luka then, after a couple of tries, actually is the one to figure out how to win, proving he was the right pick for the snake from the get go. He plays the damn Lyre, because of course he does, and they use Ladybug’s second Lucky Charm (a saddle btw. What the actual hell. This is some more weird, 50 shades type shit (see Reverser)) to defeat the akuma.

Back on the boat, Jagged again apologizes for being a diva and instead of getting some resolution to the Lukanette mistreatment at the beginning of the episode, we get Kagami once again being all “better step up Marinette before I steal your man” which is just the cherry on the cake really

Other notes:

- in my opinion, this entire episode was essentially Adrien/Ladrien fan service

- as another poster astutely pointed out: Adrien acted basically exactly the same while Aspik as he does when Chat Noir, essentially blowing up Tom’s whole theory about Chat being the “real” Adrien

-Master Fu: this miraculous should be given to someone who won’t abuse it

Ladybug: gives it to Adrien- who proceeds to abuse it

- all I think we learned from this episode, is that both Adrien and Marinette need to get over their obsessions with Ladybug/Adrien because it severely impedes their ability to make rational, sensible, non-selfish decisions.

Also, that knowing each other’s identities really isn’t a good idea. Yeah I hear you, “what about Oblivio?” In Oblivio, they literally knew nothing about each other, other than they cared about each other and they worked well together. There was no ‘hero worship’ ‘he/she’s so perfect’ mentality to get in the way, just good old fashioned trust. So does knowing who the other is actually work for them?

Ha! I’ve been dying for a good opportunity to use that set

I don’t think I’ve said it before on here, but def in my comments on my fic I Wanna Be Bad: I loved Adrien when this show started. Of the cast of characters, he def had the most potential. Lately though I’ve kinda given up on him.

He’s had zero growth. In fact, some times I think he’s actually gone backwards, especially as Chat Noir. He’s become increasingly petulant and childish and hasn’t learned a damn thing about respecting Ladybug’s boundaries or how to take being a hero seriously. It’s honestly killing the love square for me.

The writing on this show in general has become atrocious. For instance, this episode (according to reported production order) takes place after Silencer. Meaning Mari sat there and listened to Luka confess to her twice, and then goes and says he’s “just a friend” (yes, literally. She pulled an Adrien) and continues to humiliate herself for a guy who’s openly shown an interest in another girl.

It’s so painful to watch. Just as it’s painful to see Chat continually rip his heart out for LB even when she keeps turning him down.

Enough is enough already. We get it. Let them move on. Just because they date other people, doesn’t mean they won’t still end up together. That’s called reality.

[thereal-dj215]

I gave social media a break cuz it was really starting to look like a place where mostly everyone came to complain, cry, speculate, assume, showoff, and pretend to be something that we weren't, and I was guilty of it to. So if my 14 year old daughter doesn't even have a Facebook account by choice then I think I can give it a break for a lil. And it's not because she's not allowed to have social media that she doesn't participate. It's because she realized right away what it was, and even worse where it's going. And that's what made me take a real hard, honest look at myself, and what I been doing as far as the negative energy I been putting out into the world. And let me first be clear, I'm not accusing everyone of using social media that way, but let's be honest. I'm just guessing, probably 80% of what we post and see on social media sites is bullshit, lies, propaganda, fiction, and I can go on, but you get what I'm trying to say. That's what we're wasting our time on, instead of using that time to better ourselves, and the world around us. That's what we're filling our heads with, and even worse its what our children are filling their heads with, and we're allowing it, basically telling them that it's okay to believe everything you see on social media. It's okay to treat people the way a lot of people are treated these days on social media sites. I've heard parents try to explain to me their logic behind them thinking "social media isnt that bad for the children", And I'm overreacting, "it's really not that deep" they say to me. I'm just gonna give one example but I've heard worse then this but I heard a parent say "it's doesn't mean anything, or it's ok for lil Johnny to treat someone with evil intent, bully, or make fun of other people on social media because it's only a computer".............. If your jaw isn't already stuck wide open in shock I'll wait a little longer for that comment to sink in..........

Ok, isn't that just the dumbest, most naive thing you ever heard? What's even crazier then that is that a lot of people actually think like this. Their is another human being on another computer, phone, laptop, what ever smart device that is reading that. Someone else's daughter, or son. Please try and think about that. And definitely think about that with even more concer before whatever it is your about to post, share, or comment on because you really can't say how many people possibly are going to see it and we have to be more mindful of that. I'm gonna stop here cuz I can go on for ever on this topic, and all different directions with this. I definitely will continue to post more of my thoughts like this in the days to come. But I'm asking you to do just a couple easy things during these crazy times we ARE ALL going through.. Turn off the news, stop watching/listening to all the Coronavirus hoopla for at least a half hour. I would recommend more time but really this can help even if you do this for a half hour each day.

1st. Go on social media, and scroll down your wall and really try and pay attention to all the different posts, examine everything, the messages, the messengers, the reactions/comments, the language used, the ages of the people of some of the comments that catch your eye. Really pay attention, and do this all with an open mind and being true to yourself.

2nd. Now, ask yourself. And again really try to be honest, because your only fooling yourself in the end.. Is this something that is good for humanity? Should children be allowed to navigate on these social media sites freely and without any kind of proper training (that's a whole topic I'll get into another time), ask yourself is this really something that is helping humanity in a positive way, or is it hurting us?? Seriously, their is no right or wrong answers. This is all a matter of opinion, and who knows, (my ultimate goal) We can learn something from all this if we are true to ourselves, and respectful, and open to others opinions. Another question I almost always find myself asking when I login to my social media, Am I going to finally not see a negative, disrespectful comment or post today, because theirs never been a time when I logged on to social media sites at least for 10 mins and could say, Finally, a day where everyone was nice and respectful today. No one's feelings got hurt, and Everyone told the truth.(another goal I want to achieve).

Now this has always been on my mind. I have a lot of mixed emotions about social media, and let me say this, not everything on social media is negative. It has its moments, but let's be real. Their few and far between. Since this Virus,(I refuse to say the whole word ever again) has lead us to social distance ourselves physically from each other, and the government pretty much stopped and we were forced to stay inside. Here's another one of my wild guesses, I'm It's prolly just easier to say we have increased our social media use a lot more . So I've had a lot more time to really get to know myself, and others as well, and I'm including human beings as a whole in that. I'm guilty of this to. But we really need to take a look at how were acting, what were saying to each other, what were teaching our kids and that means what were letting them think it's okay for them to just log onto a site that you really don't know who's on the other end of one of them mean, disrespectful, or even positive comments aimed to lure them in for all the wrong reasons.

Ok ok I'm rambling.. . I think I heard this on Jerry Springer show ages ago..Lol

My Final Thought: "Be mindful of what we say on the internet, and how we say it. Pay more attention to what our kids are looking at on the net as a whole not just social sites. Let them know not everything, and everyone is truthful on there. But this most of all and why I originally started this post, WE NEED TO BE HONEST AT ALL TIMES TO OTHERS, OUR CHILDREN, but most of all, OURSELVES....

This was started mostly as a form of meditation for myself because writing is one of the few things that relaxes me. Another reason was Im always in protection mode for my daughter. And to take my mind off all the Coronavirus BS, and all while doing that I always hope I'm helping others in some way. Thank You,

D.J.

Feel free, I encourage you to comment, leave your thoughts, and share this with others please. If you wanna help others like I do then please share this, cuz that will help me to continue to write, and better myself and hopefully reach others that don't know certain things and get something from this...

[sanguinarius-archive]

Hey! Could I get to know some of your headcanons about dickfigures/your designs for them? :D

ya ya sure!!!!

i already have my designs for them up if you havent seen, here they are!

as for headcanons idk how long this post will be so ill just add a read more for anyone who might not wanna scroll thru it all lol

red!!!!!

his real name is rowan bc i thought it was cute, also it means “little red one” which is eVEN BETTER

he’s nonbinary masc and bisexual! the self projection is REAL

he has adhd

most of my headcanons kinda flow into my own version of dick figures because i’m not very Satisfied with canon NJSJDNSKM so like. for example red doesn’t just kill people or whatever. he gets into fights and has scars and wears bandaids a lot bc of them

he graduated college with blue, he got a bachelor’s degree in fine arts (honestly idk how college works bc im a grade 10 baby so if thats like totally wrong just let me know also im. canadian so idk how american school system works LOL)

red got suspended a lot in high school but never expelled. mostly bc he got in fights that were mainly him protecting stacey from shitty people (he sees her as his sister so he was rlly protective) and the school wasnt really sure what else to do so they just. you know. suspended him a bunch of times hoping itd do something but it didnt

he hates his dad! reason being is bc when he was born, his dad was actually an alien able to disguise himself as human, so he wanted to take red back to his home planet cuz red turned out to be more powerful than anything his dad had ever seen. but red’s mom was like Nope, so she snuck out with him and his plush cat (kitty amazing) and they were never found. red is very close with his mom and is scared of his dad coming back someday

we know he canonically likes rlly loud music so im just gonna project here and say he’s a metalhead. at least, some form of it. he likes the alt scene music and industrial rock. examples being deftones, nine inch nails, skinny puppy, rage against the machine, kittie and others. it keeps him focused and calm

bLUE!!!

we know blue was bullied as a kid but i dont wanna say red also bullied him bc i feel like thats just wrong to me? MAYBE ITS NOT ACTUALLY but it just makes me sad so like. lets say red, being as protective as he is, stood up for blue a lot cuz he was like “oh this kid cant fight” so he knew what to do

blue dated pink for awhile but they mutually agreed to break up after blue realized this wasnt what he wanted (he came to the conclusion that he was gay, well, he knew for awhile but it was Internalized Homophobia)

he grew up in a very conservative family so to see the world completely differently by meeting red, ems (lt), pink and stacey was a very good thing for him. unfortunately even tho his family did love him, it was conditional so they stopped talking to him after he came out. thankfully he’d already graduated high school by that point

despite being emotional blue isn’t very good at understanding how he’s an emotional person. he’s able to distinct one feeling from another and analyze them, but it’s just... hard for him to kind of. process WHY he feels a certain way? which is what’s led to a lot of his struggles in getting closer with ppl

he loooves reading and writing we already know this but i mean come on. he also got a bachelor’s degree in english/ela. so he’s able to become a teacher ig but he doesn’t really want to? at least not for awhile yet

blue was ems’ first friend. at first he couldn’t understand why they had tics but decided he shouldn’t get into someone else’s business. he didn’t find it weird, just cool!

he and red would always pair up for projects if they had classes together!!!!!! blue would do the writing/research and red would do the illustrations. they always turned out really good even if it ended with red cramming it at the last minute

surprisingly hates broseph more than red. well i mean its not surprising, because broseph was always a huge DICK to him

blue’s real name is wyatt!!!!! i forget the meaning but i felt the sound of it and the meaning fit him well

piiiiink!!!!!!!!!!

she’s still in college, getting her doctorate to be an astrophysicist!

pink is very very smart and will help anyone who’s struggling with something in school. she was basically the genius who always got in the honor roll every year. but, she actually was really anxious especially with exams

pink encourages stacey to go back to school, and sometimes stacey does, but she always ends up leaving again. it’s a little stressful but pink has hope for her

she’s never drank one sip of alcohol in her entire life. she smoked weed once, but it felt weird so she didn’t do it again

ever since she and blue broke up she’s been very supportive of him bc she herself is bisexual!!! so she sees nothing weird about it. in fact, about almost a year later she started dating stacey

pink’s real name is lily. when she became friends with blue she met red through him and she was like “can i join your nickname thing” and they said “sure” so they called her pink. stacey sometimes calls her pinky or just pink but mostly lily

pink helped red with academics. even tho he was sometimes insufferable to work with (/j thats a Joke i promise she’s a very patient person) she didn’t give up on him!!!! in return he helped her out with some fitness stuff cuz pink was always insecure about gym, and later when she graduated she actually got into exercising bc of red!

she loves travelling and going for walks. she owns a lot of houseplants and she’s given them all names and takes very good care of them! she also owns an albino ball python named Velvet

STACEYYY!!!!!!!

stacey is nOT actually all about sex this time ok. i don’t like that. i mean she did have some personality in canon but it wasn’t much? anyways she just really likes to express herself thru tight/”risque” clothing like fishnets and leather and pleated skirts and thigh-highs and platform boots, all of that. basically she’s a goth girl but doesn’t really “act” like one

she’s really intelligent when it comes to animals and insects and will tell you anything you need to know. when she goes back to college she gets a degree in environmental science

stacey can play the electric and bass guitars!!!! she was in a band back in high school but it never really went anywhere beyond performances at parties in someone’s garage. not that she didn’t like it, looking back on it makes her feel happy, but she wished it continued. probably why she has a hard time going back to college bc she’s not sure what she really wants

stacey is a trans woman btw!!!!! unfortunately it was a little difficult in high school to be who she was bc some kids were jerks, but there were a lot of others who supported her which is good

she views red as her brother as well and they still hang out a lot

i haven’t really had time to focus on stacey and make headcanons and stuff for her so i don’t have a lot but... let’s say, secretly, she’s a scifi nerd. and for the sake of debate, let’s say she’s a marvel fan. if you count being a fan of deadpool as being a fan of marvel

LOVES GIRLS.... loves pink!!!

has very similar music taste to red’s!!!!!

emssss!!!!!!! (lt)

instead of being a stereotype of ppl with tourette’s syndrome, it’s just a normal thing that isn’t focused on a whole lot. it doesn’t make ems swear but if they get really really frustrated they’ll curse while doing one of their tics

ems is agender, i’d say they’re also ageless but i don’t really want to make them too “nonhuman” because i feel like that’s dehumanizing to people with tourette’s. so let’s just say most laws of existence don’t apply to them

they’re very friendly!

they’re an aspiring musician, just like in canon

ems is also big into horror movies believe it or not. they’re pretty critical of them though like most horror movie fans, and only like specific ones (i’m not a horror movie fan myself so i can’t say what Specific Ones they like ajsdhbjn just imagine they have good taste okay)

they r very artsy too and like doing crafts cause it gives them something to focus on. it’s just a hobby though it’s not something they’re Professional at

they love nature and flowers and trees and all kinds of plants and animals!!! they like to document what they see when they travel thru nature and stuff so they bring a camera with them (and their phone, but, you know whatever)

ems was never really affected by things people said to them regarding their syndrome. to them it was something they were born with, so they couldn’t bother to feel bad about themselves. in certain situations theyre able to control it but 90% of the time they don’t care about what ppl think

aaaand there u go!!! as for minor characters like raccoon, jason/trollz0r, broseph, dingleberry, they all exist (raccoon isnt a racist stereotype tho), i just dont focus on them a whole lot. most of my hcs for stacey and ems here were thought up on the spot since i havent had time to lay out all my ideas for them but i hope what i have here is good !!!!

also, red and blue ARE dating, and pink and stacey ARE ALSO dating. gay rights

[initiumseries]

Jessica Jones Review

This was a request, but I will keep it relatively short because I live posted most of my issues, and it didn’t get better lol.  So basically, my issues with JJ are twofold: Jessica Jones, as a character, is not interesting. Neither is Tricia, or Jeryn, they’re just...white lol. Most, if not all their problems are self created, and everyone else has to manage the fall out.  Second, as usual, antiblack trash. JJ proves to me, yet again, having white women in the writing room does not help antiblackness and misogynoir, like, at all. In a lot of cases, it just kind of, amplifies it.  Jessica had a hard life, so she drinks, I guess. She runs a detective agency, and for no reason at all, she keeps encountering people who want to love her, but she’s too damaged by being strong and living with her best friend, Tricia, and her mother- to just, be with them. Lolll. Okay. Who fucking cares? No one, that’s who. Not even the show, because we spend an inordinate amount of time with every BUT Jessica this season.   Ok let’s start with Jerry.  

She had me cutting the fuck UP this season, because I can’t imagine being diagnosed with ALS, knowing I’m like, actually dying, then bulldozing into an old flame’s life and blowing up hers AND mine, just to...I don’t even know what the POINT was. Neither did the writers. Ol’ girl tells Jerry that her and her husband are in an open marriage. Jerry takes her on dates to the orchestra and shit. They be fucking. SO WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?? She does A LOT, just to get her away from her husband, when she could have literally taken the information Malcolm found, and just...gave it to her. LOL. Also, guy gets exposed for embezzling, and then just...live video’s him killing himself? OH MY GOD, melodramatic and contrived!!!  What is anyone’s motivations here? When we’re introduced to Jerry in s1, she just seems like a fuck girl who likes smashing hot women and lives life hard and fast (theoretically), manipulating the women in her life, but also her clients etc. Cool. She’s kind of a bitch. I’m on board with that. But then this season, she suddenly becomes obsessed with this Brown woman we’ve NEVER seen before (unless I’m wrong, cuz I hopped tf out of s1 at some point but she def wasn’t in s2), smashes into her life, destroys it, then legit stands around like..wait so you’re just gonna...leave me here? LOL SIS WTF. It’s just...I resent how this show uses Black and Brown people as sites for white female dysfunction, and their lives and everything about them, becomes a fridge for these white female protagonists’ story arcs. I can’t say this enough because it’s annoying and it ONLY happens to the nonwhite characters.  For ex. so the brown guy down the hall from Jessica is gone, now, since I guess he’s not needed to make illegal documents (oh and wasn’t he also undocumented? LOL OK JJ), but his son can still keep coming to see her. Not weird at all. Whatever.  That white guy she starts boning in s3 gets a whole ass character arc. But the brown guy down the hall was just that for like...most of s2. Any “arc” he had was directly tied to JJ’s own story and arc.  Anyway, Jeryn’s motivations were basic and murky all season. She says her life is her work, and yet she set that all on fire for some old flame booty. Lmfao. She takes on the case of a serial murderer against powered people (and I really, REALLY resent the way “powered” people are constantly used as a placeholder for racism here, because like...that’s stupid), because Jessica and Tricia upset her lmfao. Jeryn was just..doing stuff. It was so redundant, but I guess the same could be said of her last season as well. Malcolm.  He starts off like this: 

LOOK AT HOW BLACK THAT ROOM IS.  He’s working for Jeryn, making money, got himself a good girlfriend he loves, some new, Black friends, living his Black ass, sober life, doing well now that these trainwreck white women are leaving him alone.  There’s no reason at all he should still be living here.  But Jessica, FOR NO REASON AT ALL, once again, bulldozes into his life and Malcolm ends the show with, being sexually assaulted by the sex working sister of the guy Jessica is boffing, beaten up by her pimp, quits his job, cheats on his girlfriend, for NO reason at all, with the same woman who assaulted him. He even ADMITS he sabotaged their relationship at the end of the season when she comes by to get her things, but before he can explain why he sabotaged a good thing, Ms. Lady, his assaulter, comes strutting out in no pants. Ok. Again, there’s no reason why she’s in Malcolm’s life at all. They made it seem like she was going to be relevant to the plot, but the Big Evil of this season kidnaps and tortures her brother, not her. She’s utterly useless except to ruin Malcolm’s life for no reason other than I guess there’s a ban on happy Black relationships on tv.  Tricia fucks her Black trainer, because I guess, using Black men as sexual draino for their self inflicted problems is a theme on this show. At least this time they lit Luke Cage properly so he wasn’t just eyes and teeth. :/  Luke Cage makes a guest appearance in an ugly ass olive suit to be Jessica’s moral compass on how to deal with Trish. Mmmkay. 

Malcolm has nothing left I guess so he might as well also moonlight as Tricia’s moral compass, because I guess that’s all non white people are good for on this show.  And it was a waste of time, because Tricia, on a pretty serious bender to completely ruin her life for absolutely no reason at all other than she’s high on her own superiority complex, STILL turns around and murders the guy who tortured and killed her mother.  Now personally, I’m not particularly bothered that she went and got revenge. I think shows like theses equivocate these weird slippery slopes with “if I obtain revenge, I become the person who harmed me”, which is just...such a western perspective. And it’s stupid. But in this case, Tricia literally became the “Bad Guy”, just going off the rails attacking people and using a disproportionate amount of force with the help of the Human Divining Rod Jessica was boffing. Very convenient his power is seeing the evil in other people and being physically hurt by it (but not his own evil when he blackmails other people?? LOL). It was clear he existed for Jessica and Tricia’s story arcs to pivot off of, and yet he’s still handled with more interest and humanity. The show works really hard for you to feel sorry and/or conflicted about Tricia, but I don’t, because her problems aren’t real problems and she’s kind of crazy, and can’t manage to deal with her issues without ruining other people’s lives. I lived for the moments when Malcolm said: “You should just keep us on retainer, because I know you, you hurt as many people as you help.” and for that time Jessica SLAPPED the teeth out her mouth and got the phone she asked for after Tricia went on another self righteous unhinged diatribe about how great she is now because she can jump over stuff. She’s a cat now, so she’s unbeatable. Except when Jessica beats that ass  l m a o.   Anyway. Yeah, as we already knew, this show sucks. The whole Big Bad of the season was a disgruntled white man who was smarter than them and mad at women. LOL. Ok.  None of these characters are interesting or likeable. No growth. Abuse of non white people. Boring storylines, meandering plots. It’s just an overall trainwreck and I’m pretty sure this is the last season of JJ and I’m glad because we didn’t deserve to be hurt with any seasons of this. I was lowkey hoping they wouldn’t do Malcolm the way they did, but I’m not surprised. Overall -5/10