#ok maybe i do slightly want her to be evil but ONLY as an anti hero

[goldensunset]

i don’t actually think ava kingdomhearts is secretly evil nor do i really want her to be but dang if it doesn’t make for a lot of fun ideas and mental blorbo rotation

[mcrcki]

here i come with another MASSIVE event plotting / starter call (this time with over 20 characters bc who even am i) !! before i get too much into event stuff, i just wanna put up some housekeeping things so i'm not just repeating myself over and over in the discord : i will be dropping almost all of my pre-event threads. meaning, i will only be keeping the thread if it is an active plot that needs to be continued because we aren't at a place to infer the ending. i am just so utterly overwhelmed with my number of drafts that i really need to just start fresh, so i'll be using this as my chance to spam the heck out of y'all's calls and get way more threads that i actually have muse for. i'm sorry if we had a thread you really wanted to continue, i just need a fresh start. now for housekeeping for my call, as always this will be capped. i wanna write with everyone but i can't if i get a million requests from one person so!! the cap is three starters per writer!! blind date starters will not count towards that cap. otherwise, please LIKE for plotting messages, and REPLY for starters (pls specify muses unless previously discussed!!)!

in the meantime, if you wanna see what my clowns are wearing, please follow this link to my pinterest :))

alani tiure | star wars | blind date w. cami o'connell ( 3 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : imma be so for real and say that they think they're absolutely too good for this lmao, their dad is a crime lord in the city, and really they're just here to take advantage of some free drinks and maybe check in on some clients. her date is going to have to be okay with her being slightly stuck up but will absolutely be down for some dancing despite it. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sofia robbin sloan torres, ellie williams, cami o'connell

beatrice | over the garden wall | date w. wirt ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : going with her favorite boy loser, wirt. definitely here just for the free party and to do something fun, now that she's human again she's taking advantage of all the things they missed out on as a bird. will definitely be here to make friends, they're a little rude at times but i promise they're kind when you get past the kind of rude exterior !!! down for shenanigans !! potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : xiao chiye

branwen | a court of thorns and roses | blind date w. enola holmes ( 1 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : winnie LOVES THIS, she hasn't gotten to have fun in pretty dresses in ages, she was still young the last time they were able to have any kind of formal party so they're really enjoying this. she wants to see everything this party has to offer so she'll be dragging her date around everywhere, wanting to take it all in potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : he xuan

daniela dimitrescu | resident evil | blind date w. jeremy smith ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : ok tbh, daniela only came to this and signed up for a blind date to possibly grab an easy snack. they're a man-eating monster idk what anyone expected here. but tbh, once they saw the girl she's actually simping over (and will not make a move yet for one reason or another) they're going to be flirting and going so far to make her jealous, it doesn't matter with who tbh. also open to some absolute chaos if you wanna do something Bad potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for murder purposes)

starters : myri tiure, henry creel

danika fendyr | crescent city | flying solo ( 3 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : listen danika like.. just got here, she's just getting used to the city and her memories again with her friends, since so much happened back home. she's spending the majority of her time crashing her bestie's date, for various reasons, but will be out on the floor dancing and drinking as much as she wants, enjoying the hell out of a free party potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : bryce quinlan, apple caramela, hunt athalar

elain archeron | a court of thorns and roses | date w. lucien vanserra ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : this is elain's first ball in the city, and she's very much looking forward to a night where she can just dress up in a beautiful dress and dance with her husband. things have been... rough with her family unit so she's just happy to let loose a little bit and enjoy everyone's company and dance the night away potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : lu junyi, lucien vanserra

evangeline ennar | throne of glass | blind date w. choi nam ra ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : evangeline grew up in a high fantasy world, getting dressed up in fancy clothes for a ball is all she could've hoped for coming here, and now she's old enough to really enjoy it, she is going to be having the best time for real. will be helping her mom glare at her not dad, but other than that, she would love some friends so just dance around with all night potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : choi nam ra, aedion ashryver

kaya dura | star wars | blind date w. lola flemming ( 2 / 4 )

they/she pronouns : kaya is not really in the dating and dancing mood, they are still getting over their ex after a very hard breakup, where her ex killed her and all that fun stuff. so, they're really trying to like.. get themselves out there and get over her, so they signed up for this blind date and are forcing themselves out into public again. will probably get drunk for the first time and just want to forget everything to have fun potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : kaiden monsula, kasil monsula

keelan cardulo | fourth wing | date w. mira sorrengail ( 0 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : lowkey her and mira's first public appearance as a couple, especially after everything that happened back home that resulted in keelan's death, she is very much looking forward to getting to dance with their girlfriend and just enjoy that. is a bit anti social if they don't know you, so when mira is inevitably somewhere else, find them hanging to the shadows potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters :

leia organa | star wars | date w. han solo ( 3 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : mom and dad night out!!! leia's a mom of six now, and while ya know four of the six are adults with some having children of their own, and the other 2 are less than six months old, she just wants to have a little fun. the past year has been.. hard. and despite being the president and having to be here for this ball, she would so much rather be home right now, avoiding all the memories that valentine's day now brings out in her mind. last year was the worst night of her life and she will in fact be drinking a lot to forget all that bastilla did a year ago. #thereturnoffloorgana potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : din djarin, ahsoka tano, winter celchu

louise vance | harry potter | date w. thea hughes ( 4 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : a party???? hell yeah lou is gonna be there, they love this whole vibe. will 100% be testing the limits of security and trying to ride the t rex skeletons and any other shenanigans they can get into. they're here with their best friend in the whole world, thea, and they're definitely just friends, if you see them slow dancing really close that's just what besties do potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : thea hughes, emmeline vance, bucky barnes, willie

marlene mckinnon | harry potter | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : marlene lowkey is working this, and will be having fun but trying to stay focused on her job. she's unaware currently so, they'll just be hanging around with whoever is kind of hiding in the outskirts of the party, could absolutely be convinced to dance/will flirt given the chance, but mostly just here to have a fun day at work potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : dora tonks, esther mckinnon

morrigan | a court of thorns and roses | date w. cassandra dimitrescu ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : this thing with cassandra has been a bit of a whirlwind romance, and she's found herself really swept up in the other, and will absolutely be spending a lot of her time in their arms. but considering how her family life has been lately, she will also be checking in on family and doing what she can to make sure reporters aren't going too wild with everything going on with rhys and her family. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : cassandra dimitrescu, rhysand

omega archeron | star wars | date w. kirei monsula ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : if i had a nickel for every time one of my muses is on a date with their best friend and convincing themselves it's not a date, i'd have 2 nickels-- anyways, omega will be here, fulfilling her role as senator archeron's messy as hell kid, and drunk as shit nearly getting kicked out for shenanigans around the maze, and also perhaps drunkenly making out with their best friend kirei that they've been pining after for years. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : hunter

rosemary winters | resident evil | flying solo ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : now for my girl that knows she's in love with her best friend but her best friend doesn't know her and is here with another girl!!!!! honestly rose will be in a corner getting so drunk, glaring daggers at mouse's date and wanting nothing more than to be the one dancing with them. please come try to drag them out of this slump they are sulking HARD potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : lyra ayala

rowena ravenclaw | harry potter | date w. hunter ( 1 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : rowena is uneasy after the last masquerade that happened in the city, and last valentine's day, and will be spending a fair amount of time at hunter's side until she realizes that this is actually safe, that things are normal and she can cut loose a little. will be spending a lot of time dancing and mingling, happy to talk to anyone who needs some friendly conversation, even if she may just info dump at you. is VERY excited that this is at the museum and may spend more time wandering the exhibits than actually dancing. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : arnold

sella palpatine | star wars | date w. allana solo ( 4 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : oh sella is LIVING FOR THIS. valentine's day is her fucking holiday and she will be making up for how hellish the last one was. considering the fact that her and allana have yet to have a single good date on a holiday, she is going to be spending as much time as possible making her girlfriend twirl her around the dance floor. if anyone needs a dancing partner, sella will also let you spin her :)) she is just here to get a little tipsy and enjoy all the love in the air potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : rey palpatine, steve rogers, sion val palpatine, allana solo

sophie hatter | howl's moving castle | date w. howl pendragon

she/they pronouns : once again, sophie has been dragged to one of these parties because their husband loves these things far more than she does. howl dressed them, and as long as he agreed to a babysitter, sophie agreed to come to this. they are not the biggest dancer, a bit too self conscious to put themselves out there like that, she doesn't like drawing attention to herself. which is difficult when your husband is wearing a glittery pink suit but... potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : cindy moon

sorrel blackbeak | throne of glass | flying solo ( 2 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : i am planning on letting sorrel get their memories back during the event so she's going to be having a little bit of a time trying to find the rest of the thirteen and reunite now that her memories are back. once that's sorted though, she will be a little anti social but if someone asked her to dance, they're not one to say no. potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : asterin blackbeak, manon blackbeak

tatum riley | scream '96 | blind date w. conrad fisher ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : tatum is just trying to put herself out there, to enjoy some good things in the city, even if she's a little on edge with just throwing herself into a blind date roulette, she knows she's gotta get out of her comfort zone so she's going to make the most of this party and enjoy the heck out of it. even if that means someone's gotta drive her ass home cause she's gonna be gone potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sam carpenter, jake wheeler

vesta starkos | star wars | blind date w. riley matthews ( 1 / 4 )

she/they pronouns : listen vesta is unaware and super normal right now, and she wants to dance with a pretty girl. even if she's a little sus of all the people who keep staring at her like they know her, they just wanna dance and have a little fun, to cut loose instead of thinking about school. is up for some shenanigans and drunken adventures if people are down potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : ramona flowers

victoria sutherland | twilight | date w. james witherdale ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : vic will never pass up an opportunity to dress sexy and dance on her mate, she has absolutely zero shame and does not care who is watching them. she also loves to use these events as a perfect little hunting ground. vic will probably be upset that it's not turning into a nightmare but, she can make it a nightmare if she really gets that bored. until then? she will be annoyingly hanging all over her mate all night. potential plots ➛ drinking (not alcohol) || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date (for a drink ;) )

starters : heidi volturi, bella swan

violet sorrengail | fourth wing | date w. xaden riorson ( 2 / 4 )

she/her pronouns : did violet show up to this ball 90 minutes late, looking very flushed? yes. is she going to talk about it at all? absolutely not, her siblings are here and her friends can infer what's going on. now that she's here, vi will be happy to dance and enjoy the party with her friends and just get a few moments of normalcy considering the ticking timebomb her life has turned into, she is going to be savoring any moment of normal young adulthood with her family and friends thank you potential plots ➛ drinking || dancing || looking around the museum || general chatting || anti social food/bar behavior || attempting an escape || flirting || chaotic shenanigans || stealing your date

starters : sgaeyl, xaden riorson

[weirdnaturalscience]

Well-Known and Obscure Toxins: How They Work

Well this is a morbid subject but HEY it’s almost Halloween baby!! I was super curious about what toxins actually do on a molecular level after reading about cone snails. Obviously toxins can kill you, but how?? I wanted to know the grisly details. This is not an exhaustive list, just some types of poison, venom, and other toxic substances I was curious about, so let’s get to it.

Deadly Nightshade

Where is it found? Atropa belladonna grows in Europe, North Africa and Western Asia.

How it works: speeds up your heart and generally fucks with your nervous system. Deadly nightshade contains tropane alkaloids atropine, hyoscine (scopolamine), and hyoscyamine which disrupt the nervous system’s ability to regulate activities such as heart rate, breathing and sweating. It can cause narcosis, paralysis and heart failure as a result. Yikes. But an antidote exists that can reverse these affects if administered in time.

Toxicity: the entire plant is toxic, with roots having the highest toxicity but berries posing the greatest threat to humans because of their appearance. 10-20 berries can kill an adult, and 2-4 can kill a child. Symptoms of mild poisoning include dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, loss of balance, confusion, hallucinations (wild) and convulsions. Doesn’t sound like a good time.

Do not eat the shiny attractive berries!!! (Cows and rabbits and other animals can eat it but humans, dogs and cats...NOT SO MUCH) You can also get toxins on your skin just by touching the plant but this will not kill you.

Totally fun and not morbid fact: during the Renaissance, belladonna was used by women in small quantities to dilate pupils and give a seductive appearance, and this is how it gets its name belladonna, or beautiful woman. Atropa comes from the Greek Fate Atropos who cuts the threads of mortal lives with her shears. Snip snip!

Hemlock

Where is it found? Conium maculatum grows naturally in Europe and North Africa, and has spread to North and South America, Australia and Western Asia.

How it works: stops your breathing. The flowers contain an alkaloid called coniine, which directly affects the nervous system and causes paralysis of respiratory muscles, leading to death from oxygen deprivation. Hemlock poisoning is treated by artificial ventilation for 48-72 hours until the effects wear off.

Toxicity: about 100 milligrams of coniine is fatal to an adult. That’s about 6-8 hemlock leaves, or a smaller dose of the seeds or root. Animals can also be poisoned and killed by hemlock, but luckily dangerous substances cannot be passed into the human food chain from milk or fowl. Similar to nightshade, you can get a non-lethal amount of the toxin on your skin simply from touching this plant.

Basically you’re only gonna get poisoned by this if someone puts it in your tea, because I assume you’re not gonna just go around just like...chomping on pretty flowers. Right? Right?? ok good.

Arsenic

Where is it found? arsenic is a metalloid that occurs often with sulfurs and metals. It can be present in volcanic ash and groundwater, and as a result can be found in low (acceptable) levels in plants and seafood. Good news: it is rare to find arsenic occurring at dangerous levels in nature.

How it works: in high levels, arsenic disrupts ATP production and causes organ failure due to necrotic cell death. This process can last between 2 hours to multiple days. It can also be fatal in lower doses administered over a period of time, and as such, was a popular murder weapon when it was readily available during the 1800s in England. Symptoms such as vomiting and diarrhea don’t immediately alert someone that there has been an attempted murder unless maybe you’re Sherlock Holmes.

Toxicity: google probably thinks I’m a murderer and won’t tell me just how much arsenic will kill a person. COME ON, google!!! it’s for SCIENCE!

Arsenic is no longer readily available for people to just get in large quantities, so that’s a RELIEF.

Cyanide

Where is it found? cyanide is a chemical compound produced by certain algae, bacteria and fungi. It is also found in plants such as peaches, apples, apricots and bitter almonds. A type of bamboo that grows in Madagascar is so rich in cyanide that it would kill humans, but not the golden bamboo lemur for whom this bamboo is a primary source of food!!! You go girl, eat that cyanide bamboo.

How it works: for everyone who’s not a golden bamboo lemur, cyanide disrupts ATP production, affects the central nervous system and heart, and causes histotoxic hypoxia: the inability of cells to take up oxygen from the bloodstream. Antidotes can work if administered in time for lower doses of cyanide.

Toxicity: 200 milligrams of solid cyanide or a cyanide solution, or exposure to airborne cyanide of 270 parts per million is sufficient to cause death within minutes. Um, YIKES. Really, cyanide was already scary enough as a solid before nature went and made it into a gas that kills upon inhalation. DEEPLY uncool.

Murder mystery writers: slip belladona or arsenic into your literary victim’s tea. Belladonna is sweet, arsenic is tasteless, but cyanide has an acrid and bitter taste.

Fun (well, not fun) fact: if you eat 200 apple seeds (about 40 apple cores) you will receive a fatal dose of cyanide. So like, don’t do that. An apple a day keeps the doctor away and is completely safe, but 40 apples apple cores a day WILL KILL YOU

Vampire Bat Saliva

Where is it found? Vampire bats are found in the Americas.

How it works: a toxic substance called Draculin (I’m serious) in the saliva of vampire bats acts as an anticoagulant by inhibiting an enzyme involved in the coagulation pathway.

Toxicity: vampire bats are indeed venomous and toxic, but they are not at all lethal. It just sorta sucks if you’re being bitten by a vampire bat, but you’ll live. Unless that bat has rabies. Vampire bat saliva also contains an analgesic, meaning the bites are almost completely painless. SO THAT’S SOMETHING

Cobra Venom

“hello do you have a moment to hear about cell death?”

Where is it found? Many species of cobra are found throughout Africa, Southwest and Southeast Asia.

How it works: most cobra venom includes neurotoxins that cause paralysis as well as cytotoxins that cause necrosis and blood coagulation. blood coagulation can happen in minutes.

Toxicity: many types of cobra venom are treatable, but may leave disfigurement from necrosis. If this isn’t scary enough for you, just know that spitting cobras can reach 2.7 m (8.9 ft) in length and like to aim for the eyes.

But you’d still rather be bitten by a cobra than THIS deadly mofo:

Venom of the Inland Taipan

Where is it found? the inland taipan is the most venomous snake in the world and lives, YOU GUESSED IT, in Australia, ie the place where everything is designed to kill you. Evolution decided it can reach 1.8 meters (5.9 feet) with a maximum length of 2.5 meters (8.2 feet), which I think everyone can agree is a dick move on evolution’s part. Take it back, TAKE IT BACK!!!!!

How it works: the venom contains neurotoxins, hemotoxins, and myotoxins AND an enzyme to increase absorption of the venom. Basically it causes paralysis, blood coagulation and muscle damage, because one of these things wasn’t enough apparently. Antivenoms against Australian venomous snakes exist but are least effective against the venom of the inland taipan.

Toxicity: the inland taipan’s venom has a murine LD50 value of 0.025m/kg. This means there is a 50% chance that .025 milligrams per kilogram of weight will cause death. It’s bite contains enough venom to kill at least 100 adult humans. But GOOD NEWS! the inland taipan lives in such remote places that it rarely comes in contact with people. Other slightly less venomous snakes are therefore responsible for more deaths. ....So that’s...still terrifying. just don’t go into the woods in Australia FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

What’s deadlier than the deadliest snake in the world, you ask?

Tetrodotoxin

Where is it found? tetrodotoxin is found in several animals such as pufferfish, moon snails and the small but deadly Australian blue ringed octopus (DAMMIT Australia)

How it works: blocks sodium channels. This prevents normal transmission of signals between the body and brain, causing loss of sensation, paralysis and inability to breathe. Fun!!! Don’t pick up the frickin evil little octopus

Toxicity: more powerful than cyanide, that’s for sure, about a thousand times more powerful in fact. the oral median lethal dose (LD50) for mice as 334 micrograms per kilogram. Fatal pufferfish poisoning result in death in about 17 minutes. The blue-ringed octopus, however, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within just a few minutes. There is no anti-venom.

What’s worse than that, you ask? Ah, you shouldn't have asked.

Conotoxin

Where is it found? Cone snails are found in the Indo-Pacific, the Cape of South Africa, the Mediterranean, and even southern California. Smaller species are not that dangerous. Larger species, however...

How it works: paralysis within minutes. cone snails have multiple harpoons to administer venom to prey (or unsuspecting humans). the harpoons deliver a venom that has HUNDREDS of different types of toxins, each targeting different nerve channels or receptors. Some cone snail venom even includes pain-reducing toxins. These pain reducing toxins can be 100 to 1,000 times more powerful than morphine. How THOUGHTFUL.

Toxicity: vastly more potent than tetrodotoxin. the oral median lethal dose (LD50) for mice is is 10 to 100 micrograms/kilogram. So like, GOOD LUCK WITH THAT LOL

Ricin

Where is it found? Ricin is obtained from the beans of the castor oil plant.

How it works: inhibits protein production and results in organ failure, respiratory failure and circulatory shock.

Toxicity: The median lethal dose (LD50) of ricin is around 22 micrograms per kilogram of body weight. If that sounds bad just wait till you hear about poison dart frogs 😭

VX

Where is it found? Nowhere in nature. VX is synthetic. It is an oily amber colored liquid in its natural form, was first developed as a pesticide and later for chemical warfare. It is considered a weapon of mass destruction and is banned under the Chemical Weapons Convention of 1993.

How it works: causes stimulation and fatigue of muscarinic and nicotinic ACh receptors, resulting in violent contractions followed by paralysis and death by asphyxiation.

Toxicity: 7 micrograms/kilogram. this is one of the most toxic synthetic substances on earth. Humans have got nothing on mother nature though...

Batrachotoxin

(This guy is called phyllobates TERRIBILIS. but is his cute little face terrible? noooo.)

Where is it found? in certain types of beetles, birds and poison dart frogs found in Central and South America.

How it works: similar to conotoxin, batrachotoxin interrupts sodium channels. The resulting migration of Na+ ions causes heart failure and paralysis.

Toxicity: The LD50 is around 2 micrograms per kilogram, meaning that an amount the size of two grains of table salt will kill you, and that this is even worse than a cone snail, Ricin, or VX. Batrachotoxin is one of the deadliest alkaloids known. No antidote exists.

Fun frog fact: this was the poison commonly used by the Embera-Wounaan for poison darts, and that’s where poison dart frogs get their name! How...cute.

Botulinum, most toxic substance in the world

Where is it found? made by the bacteria Clostridium botulinum and related species.

How it works: causes Botulism, which if untreated can result in paralysis and respiratory failure by preventing the release of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. Botulinum is used in very very very VEEEEEEERY small amounts in Botox, in case you ever needed reasons NOT to do Botox lol.

Toxicity: the lethal dose of 1.3–2.1 nanograms per kilogram in humans. of any toxin natural or synthetic, this is the deadliest known. However!! Actual good news this time: treatments involving antitoxin therapy and intubation are very successful and mortality from Botulism is extremely low. Yay! 

More good news: toxins have been instrumental in medicinal breakthroughs throughout history and continue to be vital to modern medicine. A drug for diabetes was recently synthesized from Gila monster venom: it increases the production of insulin when blood sugar levels are high. A painkiller has been developed for chronic pain patients that is derived from a component of the venom of our friend, you guessed it, the cone snail! These are just two examples of toxins being used in medicine, and a lot of research is still being done because face it: we still don’t know a lot about how our bodies work. Paralyzing agents are extremely important to our understanding of the body and the development of non-opiate non-addictive painkillers because of how they disrupt signals between nerves and the brain.

Long story short: don’t eat nightshade and stay OFF AUSTRALIAN BEACHES and you should be just fine. 

Oh and your tea is getting cold ;)

[anna-dreamer]

Warning: some anti-Valar and anti-Eru atheistic rambling follows. I get critical about philosophy of Arda. Now, my opinion might be misinformed, because of course there is so much to learn about Tolkien’s work! But right now it is this way, and i choose to express it. If that’s not your cup of tea, please keep it civil. If things like that trigger you, i suggest you skip this post. 

Last time my friend and I were rewatching Return of the King we once again took notice of this heathen kings of old line. I thought that maybe it was a reference to that time the Numenorians got into Melkor worship. Now the book tell a slightly different story, and the kings who burned themselves were obviously different kings, lesser ones. (Jeez, this built-in lessness just sucks.) So i went googling, and this article was very helpful. And it got me thinking once again about the peculiar state of religion in Middle-Earth, how it kinda is there, but also kinda is not. 

I very much enjoyed this work that goes deeper into the relationship between The Numenorians and the divine powers of that world. It draws an exiting parallel between the Akallabêth and the Biblical Exodus narrative, and it filled some blank spots in my understanding of the authorial intent when it comes to religion and faith in Arda. 

Now i read Tolkien works for the first time as a young adult. My childhood knowledge of his works was all derived from the movies. So coming to the text of the Hobbit, and especially Lord of the Rings and Silmarillion, i was already an established media consumer, reader and d&d player. The sheer lack of religion in the world-building back then struck me as a huge hole in this world. I even remember me as a child, with no knowledge of any background, asking, So Gandalf professed his hope that this new Age should be blessed. But by whom? What do these guys believe in? And i know that even people who are intimately familiar with the Legendarium often choose to ignore this areligious nature of peoples of Arda. 

A big example is Finrod the Opera, a rock show performed here in Russia, and it is... not the greatest, but it does grow on you. So almost all the characters there invoke Eru’s name. Melian, upon realizing Thingol has sent Beren to get a silmaril, says, My only hope now is for Eru’s grace. Finrod, arguing with Celegorm and Curufin, says, Thank Eru, I’ve never wanted revenge! Luthien, recounting her first encounter with Beren and seeing death, says, Eru be my witness... And so on. Hell, i met a girl during one performance, and we went to the bathroom together, and seeing me frantically fix my elven ears she said to me, Let’s go, for Eru’s sake! So yes. By inertia and out of habit the fantasy consumers, geeks, roleplayers, and so on, feel the need to ‘complete’ Tolkien’s world, because they feel like something is missing.

Now, I know only too well that it is missing very much on purpose. And i as a reader have come to except it as a fact - yes, this world is meant to be seen this way. Nothing is broken here. 

The thing is, i personally don’t like the way it is. And i indeed was lucky to have read Tolkien’s works as an adult, cause i already have an established value system. And here it doesn’t click with me. While peoples of Arda are mostly areligious, there is a built-in truth of what to believe in if you claim to be good. And if you happen to not like the Valar or even disagree with Eru himself, then welcome to the heathens. You probably will die. In Tolkien’s world, it seems everybody who is not ok with the divine powers ends up doing crazy evil shit and dying. (Or they just disappear from history and never return. I really want a spin-off about the Avari.) And if you are the Noldor, simply leaving Aman is apparently bad enough, not even counting the murders, though the Valar kinda keep it ambiguous and insist they restrict nothing. Now i wonder why does it feel so sketchy?.. Yes, i do not appreciate the Valar, nor do i appreciate Eru. He has a lot of inherent Christianity-inspired problems, starting with being a really shitty parent. I wanna write more about it in a separate post, so i’ll stop here. 

So it is curious. Apart from the way it was in Numenor, there is no organized religion in this world. But there is a built-in true faith, and one has to accept it. If they don’t, then surely their pride or lust for power will corrupt them. There is only one way to salvation. All others lead to demise. Boy, sometimes this world feels so stuffy. But i still love huge portions of it.

The main thing i appreciate about Tolkien’s work is that it teaches me to like things and at the same time be critical of them. And while Dragon Age, which i also like and get deeply frustrated with at times, exists in a more flexible medium, Tolkien’s work is there to stay as it is. While many elements in it are unfinished and are left for us to interpret, it is hard to argue with its spirit and emotional core. Although, who am i kidding, people have and will continue to try! I must admit i respect that. 

[meanautisticenbian]

Fuck it, I'm gonna dissect all the bullshit in that one Lilith post bit by bit

TW// Lilith hate, victim blaming, abuse, cult mention, ableism towards Autistic people, sexualization of minors (briefly mentioned)

I'll be putting my text in bold just in case it's hard to distinguish between the pictures and my commentary

Here's the post I'm referring to in case you're curious

Moving on and starting with this bit

People pay attention to Eda all the damn time, she's literally one of the main characters. Funny how you only mention tik tok and nothing else. Is that the only other social media you have? Because fans on different social media platforms act much differently; on IG and Reddit stuff like the sexualization of minors and fucking ODALIA AND ALADOR STANS are normalized, where everywhere else it's pretty much universally agreed that that stuff is bad. I don't know a lot about what toh Tik Tok is like just because I don't usually go on tik tok, but even if it is like this, it's not the same for the rest of the fandom. A lot of the fandom still hates Lilith and blames her for her abuse and not being able to leave

You say that like she's a bad person, she's really not. The curse she placed on Eda wasn't intended to be permanent and probably wasn't even supposed to take the effects that it did. She was most likely scammed. I mean look at how she reacts when Eda transforms for the first time. She also feels guilty enough about it to throw herself into an abusive situation and spend almost her whole life trying to make up for it. Lastly, yes she hurt Luz, but let's not forget that Belos threatened her life upon Eda's capture and Lilith was running out of time and had no other option. Obviously what she did was wrong but she's not the real monster here.

"I do like Lilith" this entire essay says otherwise.

Literally none of us ignore any of the bad shit she's done, stop lying about us.

Yes, Lilith did mock her for her curse, which was messed up, but we don't actually know for sure if the curse is basically canonically a disability in that world, so if that's the case then for now it's technically not ableism until we get confirmation otherwise.

"it was an accident and I forgive Lilith" no you fucking don't. First of all this entire essay is you talking about how evil you think she is and secondly, if it really was as bad as you view it, you wouldn't be that forgiving.

Ah yes the victim blaming, the one thing that almost everyone does to Lilith and barely anyone talks about.

There is literally not a single Lilith stan out there who blames Eda for getting cursed. You're just mad that your victim blaming towards Lilith got called out so you silence us by lying about how we do the same thing to Eda.

No one is making Eda out to be the villain either, the only example I can find of this is a few fanfics where she treats Lilith a lot more harshly than she should, and even then, scenes like that are written in a positive light as if you're supposed to be on Eda's side, so with that in mind, the writers of these fics are clearly not even Lilith stans. In terms of how actual stans treat Eda, the worst they do is make her slightly ignorant of Lilith's trauma, kinda like the fandom, minus the "slightly", until she grows as a character and learns to see the red flags. If that's the problem you're talking about, then breaking news: Eda's not perfect either. She has flaws too just like literally everyone else in the show and people are allowed to write about them

Tell me the truth: are people making playlists for Lilith that include a lot of sad and angry songs because she's not a happy person anyway so there wouldn't be a point in having any happy songs, or are they making "trauma" playlists? There's a difference

I'm sorry, are you trying to tell me that people recognizing Lilith's trauma is victim blaming Eda? That's not how it works sweetycakes

There is far more Eda angst out there than there is for Lilith, where are you finding so much Lilith angst? LILITH is the one who's traumas are being ignored while Eda's gets all the attention. You're acting like one of those white cis gays on twitter who see black people talking about the anti blackness they experience daily and accuse them of being homophobic because "there is so much homophobia in the world and they still manage to make it all about race".

No one is saying that Lilith has worse trauma, we're only saying that her's is also severe and that it definitely exists. Also funny how you're allowed to be mad at us for comparing Lilith and Eda's trauma (once again lying about us), then you go on to do the exact same thing and say that EDA'S trauma is worse. Even if, hypothetically speaking, Eda did have it worse, that doesn't mean Lilith doesn't have the right to be traumatized. Both of them have trauma, both should be recognized. Also, Lilith had far more going on in her life than just the guilt of her actions, she was was implied to have been psychologically and maybe physically abused, and was probably even tortured. Stop ignoring all the red flags and condemn the actual abuser (Belos) before you criticize anything the abused (Lilith) has done.

We're not making everything about Lilith, like shut up.

Please don't say that autistic people "have autism", it implies that it's something that can be removed from us. For example: you don't say "a person with blackness" when referring to black people or "a woman with homosexuality" when referring to Lesbians.

Oh yeah I'm also autistic so here are MY thoughts

Amity and Lilith are not antagonists anymore, hcing them as Autistic is not villainizing autism.

The autistic Lilith headcanon was made by autistic fans, allistics only latched onto it because they either wanted to be supportive or they saw that she actually had a lot of autistic traits

You're not the only autistic person alive, just because you're not like Lilith or Amity doesn't mean none of us are or they're not autistic. I mean, I know I am

You're not fun or funny

"not all Autistic people are like this" remember that line, dear readers

Actually, I prefer the autistic villain trope MUCH more than the grown ass autistic adult that acts like a five year old trope. At least we'd have less stereotypes associated with us.

Autism is not supposed to be portrayed in only fun and happy characters, that is literally the epitome of stereotyping and infantilizing. You literally just said that not all autistic people are the same, doesn't this count as being all the same? Does this mean I don't exist anymore? Am I just not autistic? Are you even aware that a flat affect or monotone voice is literally a very common autistic trait? You can't just say that we're stereotyping autistics and then just go on to stereotype us, like what the fuck are you even on? Is it only ok when you do it?

Amity is not edgy for fuck's sake

Literally no one is headcanoning Lilith or Amity as autistic because they're mean, we headcanon them as autistic because they actually show traits of it

Oh, our harmless headcanons are making you feel uncomfortable because they don't fit into the stereotypes you made up about us? Good to know our plan is working I guess

Last thing I wanna say regarding this post as a whole: why are you acting like liking Lilith and feeling sympathy for her is a bad thing? If you find this then don't say "I don't think that's a bad thing", answer HONESTLY

Well that's all I have for now, thank you for reading, I need to go to bed soon

[painted-starlight]

Frozen: Love As Transactional and Contradictory Themes

Warning: LONG POST, Anti-Frozen, Anti-Kristan//na, Anti-Agdu//na, swearing, discussion of colonialism

Tl;dr/Summary: The romantic pairings of Frozen, which are meant to drive the theme of unconditional love appear less romantic and more transactional. Love is something that is owed if you do nice stuff for the person you love. 

The romances feel convenient for male characters and give them what they want at the expense of Anna and Iduna’s agency or against their best interests. This convenience isn’t even beneficial in the long run for either party, because it actually hinders the male character’s growth by making them the lesser of two evils rather than good characters with likable personalities of their own. 

Both Kristoff and Agnarr are meant to be ideal love interests, but they are very underdeveloped despite the former being Anna’s true love and the latter being the center of Iduna’s character motivation. 

Introduction

Frozen’s interesting in the sense that I completely understand what it’s trying to do, but that doesn’t mean it does it well. 

The story itself is constantly contradicting itself an it’s own themes. The theme of Frozen is that love should come with no strings. Unconditional love is the right way to love someone, either romantically and platonically. Iduna and Agnarr’s love for Elsa came with strings while Anna’s didn’t. Which is why Anna’s act of love was the cure, while Elsa suffered under them. 

Kristoff appeared to have a conditional relationship with Anna but then it turned unconditional, while Hans’s love appeared unconditional but in the end was conditional. 

However, upon examining Frozen and it’s sequel, it’s themes become...muddled at best and hypocritical at worst. Especially when it comes to it’s romantic pairings. 

Kristoff and Anna, as well as Iduna and Agnarr are one of the biggest issues that threaten to undermine the very themes of Frozen and it’s views on unconditional love. Note that I think it’s views on platonic unconditional love are...OK to an extent (at least in the first film), but it’s romantic pairings are just plain awful.  

Kristoff/Anna: The Transactional and the Unconditional 

My huge problem with Kristoff and Anna’s relationship is that it feels like the story (through Olaf) pressures her into returning Kristoff’s sudden feelings for her just because he helped her. Their relationship was already very transactional and it really felt like they couldn’t stand each other for a majority of the movie.  

Kristoff goes from hating her spontaneity (”You don’t tell Sven what to do!” while throwing her on Sven) to suddenly loving this side of her on the flip of a coin. I could pinpoint the scene too, when she jumps into his arms after failing to scale the mountain by hand. Her incompetency is played for comedy while he watches her. Then, like a switch, he likes her. Seriously, when did he start liking that side of her?

And Anna doesn’t even appear to feel that way towards Krisotff until Olaf basically tells her Kristoff did all that nice stuff for her, so the implication is that she HAS to return his feelings. If she weren’t dying at that very moment, I don’t think that would be an option for her. 

They Helped You, You Owe Them!

This theme of “they saved your life, you owe them!” also applies to Iduna and Agnarr, no matter whether or not the latter remembers this because it’s a narrative implication. The person who sacrifices their life for you or does nice stuff for you, should be your true love/or platonically they love you without strings. But only if they have no ill intentions. 

As if people in general are somehow mind readers who can tell when people are fooling them. As Hans character proves, this is a very faulty line of thinking. You shouldn’t owe someone love because they do nice stuff for you, and you might never know what someone’s motivations are until it’s too late. 

It feels like this notion of romance is very skewed in favor of what the story wants. Iduna can give away the only life she knew for someone she just met, but not Anna. Iduna is portrayed as selfless because she did it for Agnarr, while Anna is selfish because she did it for herself, a child neglect and in a lonely environment. 

Convenience for Male Love Interests To Their Detriment and The Preservation of “Good” Royalty

I find it strange that Frozen and Frozen 2 seem to be centered on what’s the most convenient for male love interests, regardless of whether or not they are fully rounded or compelling. 

And this doesn’t even mean that it’s to their benefit, but to their convenience because it actually does way more damage to be given things by the story rather than making them fully fleshed out characters. 

Kristoff’s Convenience Destroyed His Character

Kristoff likes Anna, so the story is twisted in a way that benefits him so he is the one Anna ends up with. 

Consequently, because his story arc is considered done he is reduced to comedic relief to keep him relevant, even when he’s not needed. Both Kristoff and Agnarr are given superficial amounts of “background” through the barest minimum, but only because it is a means to an end to convey a point. 

Kristoff and Anna go through the basic boyfriend introducing girlfriend to family, (even though she is already engaged to someone else) bit. They interact with Rock Trolls, have banter with them in a wasteful song. And he talks to his reindeer. These points are necessary within a modern dating context, but they do very little to provide a deeper insight into his character that would him a better option than Hans. Things like who he truly is as a person is stripped to what is needed by the story because we are already supposed to like him by virtue that he isn’t Hans. 

In fact, because we know so little about him, his characterization can change on a whim from a gruff loner to perfect boyfriend who’s entire identity is “I’m Anna’s Fiancé, look at me do goofy things!” as demonstrated by Frozen Fever and Frozen 2. Frozen 2 actually tells on itself when they include lines like “Who am I if I’m not your (Anna’s) guy?” And that is a good question. Who is Kristoff without Anna? Who is he really?

And I know that the story uses Krist*nna as a way of perpetuating the idea of not diving into a relationship with someone you literally just met, but it’s obvious that Anna does EXACTLY that, just with someone the story approves of. She and Kristoff are making out within probably a day of the end of the movie.

You can’t tell me they let Hans and the Duke of Weasleton stay for weeks between their attempted assassination of royalty. Kristoff and Anna moved WAY too fast.

Agnarr’s Convenience and Position as “Good Royalty”

Like Kristoff, Agnarr’s position as the good successor to his idiot father Runeard, is considered essential to his characterization. Good, of course, being relative. He was “slightly less of a bastard,” and therefore, better.  

But you can’t make a character by saying who they AREN’T. You need to show who they ARE. And saying  “well, he could’ve been worse to Elsa” is no excuse. And Runeard in a league on his own, being the stupid dumbass he was. 

Agnarr, by the definition of the story, needed to live so he could be the good king. And meant that Iduna had to sacrifice herself for his convenience.  

Out of both parents, Agnarr is given the most screen time and dialogue. His convenience and inability to love Elsa correctly motivates him and Iduna to force her to conceal her powers.  All the problems that arise in the story are due to him introducing the gloves to Elsa, and he and by extension Iduna are the basis on the conflict. 

I say an extension because she almost a complete nonfactor of a character in the original Frozen movie. She is given maybe two lines, tops. She is still accountable, though, for the hot mess that is called Elsa’s upbringing. 

But it’s also worth noting that the second movie expands her character and background. She is given more screen time, dialogue, and songs relating to her character. And it’s still very centered on her love for Agnarr, which is portrayed as a positive influence on her despite him being the main source of her leaving her community and keeping her identity as secret. It doesn’t really feel romantic when she basically has to live in fear to keep him on the throne. 

Iduna and the Boy She Just Met

Iduna’s character is motivated to leave her people for a boy she just met. This goes against the very themes of Frozen, but not really upon closer inspection. It’s mostly about the convenience of “good” royalty, and he’s Agnarr so he’s special. 

Not special enough to give him a fully rounded character, but special in the sense that he is considered a better alternative. As I’ve said before, his characterization is mostly based on the idea of him being the lesser of two evils. 

His convenience is placed above Iduna’s safety. The questions of where she lived during her time in Arendelle, who took care of her, how she navigated this life as a child and still felt comfortable being with the person who is the prince of colonialistic nation is considered almost a nonfactor. It is meant to evoke sympathy, but not outrage at her circumstances that left her basically without a support network. 

She is praised as sefless for saving Agnarr at the expense of herself. And she is rewarded with his love, which apparently totally worth losing so much.

Final Thoughts

I’m not really sure how Frozen will navigate it’s themes in future installments. However, without significant changes and a reevaluation of what it wants to say, it’s ultimate impact on audiences will leave them questioning if Frozen’s desire to convey unconditional love actually comes with strings attached. 

[moonaft]

The Unkindest Tide - Review

Rolling in a couple months late with this one. Incidentally, Incryptid is a wonderful series and I can’t believe I hadn’t read it sooner. 

Spoilers for The Unkindest Tide and Patreon up to January 2020. 

What a wonderful read! The Luidaeg! The Lordens! Answers to some burning questions! 

I had thought for a long time that this was to be the last October Daye book and was very concerned about the number of loose ends. Figuring out there is more to come was a great pleasure. 

I appreciate Toby using magic in her actual job as a private detective. This is a good use of it and I’m glad she’s able to make use of it. 

Even better is Toby talking about her extended family - May, Raj, Jazz, Chelsea, the Brown kids, Dean, Quentin, Tybalt. She has a family that loves her and that she loves too. 

Toby is right that she needs to help those closest to her first before helping Simon. The problem is that she delays fulfilling her side of bargains until something forces her hand - case in point, this entire book. I would be very surprised to hear she’s given Mags a biography of her mother already.

Pay your artisans, people. If you don’t pay them, they can’t continue to provide their goods. Good on Tybalt for paying for his groceries.

Hello Luidaeg! That solves the question of ‘Hasn’t it been more than a year since she told Elizabeth Ryan the Selkies had a year to settle their affairs?’. 

Interesting that she thinks Oberon may not have had the power to turn Selkies into Roane. But the Roane saw Amandine and her daughters well before Janet broke Maeve’s ride. 

New question: what caused the divide in the Three that led to the Moving Days? 

Gilian: fennel and primroses. So becoming a Selkie did change her magic, but it’s close to what she would have had as a Dochas Sidhe. Interesting. 

Hi Marcia! Hi Poppy!

Marcia’s “been in Faerie so long she doesn’t know what to do with a human hospital”? Not natural for a thin-blooded changeling, and not natural that no one’s picking up on that. And she looks about Gillian’s age? Toby’s known her for years, and despite them all getting delaying aging, someone should have noticed. 

And unaffected by the transition to the Summerlands. Titania or Maeve, for sure. 

At first when she was talking about the ‘prince in the rigging’ I assumed she meant Quentin, and wondered how she knew that. Now I think she meant Nolan. I don’t remember getting clarification on that. 

Captain Pete! And confirmed: the Merrow Firstborn is a daughter of Titania by Oberon. 

Dean, Dean wake up. 

Confirmed: Dawn is Evening’s daughter. And slightly younger than August. So who’s the father? Maybe that doesn’t matter since Evening had a hope chest. 

I like Pete, and she likes Dianda and Patrick, and I like her more. 

Marcia’s more afraid of Pete than she is of the Luidaeg. 

There’s another prophecy at play - the one Amandine’s afraid one, where her line brings back the Three. Probably by dying. But Toby can’t know about that yet. 

“Again, sea witch. I’m allowed.” What a good kid. 

Claude Anthony: “He looked even more anachronistic than the others, like he’d just wandered out of some hot new show about attractive people and their sexy problems” How did I miss this on the first few read throughs? 

Patrick and Dianda! That answers the question of ‘Did Toby tell Patrick about the pixie colony’ with a firm ‘No.’. Does Patrick even know that Simon had been back in town? Did he know about the elfshot? Or has he assumed that Simon disappeared and is doing evil somewhere else?

And Toby shoves off that conversation for later. 

Hello, Dianda’s asshole brother Torin. 

And their father descends from a human while their mother doesn’t. Interesting that the last name itself is a gift to give to the heirs. 

And now Patrick comes to make a deal with a Firstborn, to save the one he loves. How ironic that he will never know that’s what Simon did for him. 

And Toby’s back in debt. She’s a hero, she can’t not save Peter. 

The first and second requests could be twisted to be easy - help the Luidaeg with groceries, prick Toby’s finger and collect one drop. 

The third - I never would have thought the Luidaeg would want to bring Simon Torquill back. No time limit on this one. 

It’s fish time again!

Hello, unnamed Cephali man letting our heroes through. 

“I have never seen anyone with any sense try to start a fight with Dianda in what I would consider the smart way, by sucker-punching her before she had a chance to respond.” I love you, Toby. 

“How are you not dead? I saw them stab you”. New unnamed Cephali friend asks the right questions around here. 

“We’re coming in. Please don’t stab us” Toby is really playing to her strengths, and I love it. 

New Smurf Cephali is an idiot. Go Toby. 

And now he’s dead. 

Helmi and the now named Kirsti both think Toby’s great - good, she needs more fans. 

I love how the Undersea fae speak. 

Ok, unnamed Cephali is Helmi’s... something. On our side!

Back to the Ships without incident - and Toby may be getting another squire one day. 

Poor Isla. 

This is a fascinating insight into the Law and how it applies to fae-but-not-really fae. If Selkies without a skin are considered human, then the Law doesn’t count. All of these little loopholes. 

Diva is half Roane and half Selkie, and that seems to be enough to avoid needing a skin. I wonder if that counts as non-human in terms of immortality?

Rene definitely knows who Quentin is. Fun!

And they’re gossiping about Toby in Halifax, this is great. 

Toby’s growing stronger in her magical abilities. 

A fae who understands the need to not mess with a crime scene - excellent. This book is filled with smart people. 

Has Toby slept or ate since they got to the Duchy? 

Back to the Lordens, 

Oh, Peter. Anti-humanism is still present in the Undersea. I had hoped that wouldn’t be the case. 

Marcia is good with flowers and pulled several that Toby doesn’t recognize. How do you make marshwater charms with plants from the Summerlands instead of the mortal world?

Holy shit, Tybalt took out part of her spine and now she’s paralyzed. 

Huzzah for healing factors!

Back to the battle. People need to stop using Gillian as leverage. 

Chryseis: the Cephali Firstborn! May or may not be alive, Pete doesn’t know. 

Marcia using flower magic. 

Holy shit, Pete notices there’s something weird about Marcia and then gets distracted from her questioning and doesn’t get back to it. That is some mind whammy. Assuming Marcia’s Titania, that’s her daughter who’s made it very clear that she hates her mother. Not a good place to be.  

I love you, Pete. You are a friendly Firstborn and you have style. 

How did Eira tell Torin that the Roane were returning? Was it before the elfshot, or has she been dreamwalking?

Patrick has a surrogate Firstborn now, that’s cool. 

Toby has been able to convince the Luidaeg to try a new way. She is awesome.

How did Marcia know the sealskin belonged to a boy? Has she always known that, or was she able to hear a ghost in the skin?

The Luidaeg gets multiple magical scents, the Three probably smell like everything. 

If only Amandine could see Toby now - it wouldn’t change anything. I hope Oberon, when he is eventually found, is proud of Toby. 

What a good book.

[dead-inside-mcgee]

Beyond that door - Part 2

The lesser evil

Summary:  Chase sits in silence, feeling embarrassed for no particular reason. He doesn’t even think about the fact that he never gave the man his name.

Word Count:  2028

Taglist: @rabbitsartcorner @caori-azarath @murder-schmurder 

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Tonight we bring you exclusive interviews with our latest mayoral candidates. Starting with a young man coming from right here in Septic City, let me introduce you to Mr. Jameson Jackson!” 

  “Thank you Miss. Cook.,” Jameson said with a sharp, British accent. 

  No matter what you’re wrong. 

  “Now Mr. Jackson. You claim that you grew up here in this city, but your accent is British. Why is that?”

  “Well you see, my parents were British, and they had me after moving here. I simply just inherited it from them.” His voice is slightly shaky, and cracks occasionally. He clearly wasn’t made for public speaking, but he holds himself together. 

  “Interesting. Now time for a big question. Why are you running for office?”

  “Ah, now that would be a good question. Well let me think.” 

  There’s a pause. 

  “Well there’s a few reasons.” Jameson states. “When I was young I grew up without a voice. Nothing I ever said mattered. I grew up believing that nothing I ever said would matter. And I look around today and see people just like me believing their voice means nothing. So my goal is to give those like me a voice and make sure they are heard.

  “There is also the fact that I’ve always been looked down upon in my own family. My brother is a famous voice actor, my father runs a business, my mother is a reporter, and what have I done? Have any of you even hear of me before I ran for mayor?” 

  There’s a few awkward glances before the candidate continues. 

  “I want to accomplish something big. Something that people will remember me by. But most of all, I want to do what I believe it right.” 

  “You know Mr. Jackson, they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” 

  “And that’s very true! Many people who wanted what was right, did terrible things to get it. Because they thought… it’s what they had to do…” His tone shifts, along with his expression.

  “Umm… Well that’s very interesting Sir. The people would also like to kno-” He cut her off. 

  “I will not be answering any more questions.“ He states and walks off, followed by a few baffled reporters. 

  ***

Chase flicked off the TV and joined Marvin with observing their guest. After tying him to a chair the doctor passed out again, and after failing to wake him, they decided to just wait until the potion wears off. 

  “Nothing interesting on TV?” The witch asks. 

  “Not really.” He sighs.

  Marvin glances around. “Want to play a board game or something while we wait for him to wake up?”

  He glances at the clock. “Actually, I should be heading home. It’s late, I have work, and I need a new phone.”

  Marvin nods, trying not to look disappointed. “Can’t you take a day off to help watch this guy?” 

  He stands. “As much as I’d love to, it’s not worth the trouble I’d get into.”

  “Okay… At least keep an eye on that guy, Anti, you work with.” 

  “Will do!” Chase makes his way up the stairs and is greeted by the cool night air. 

  It’s about two am, his work starts at eight. If he got home in ten minutes, he could squeeze in at least five and a half hours of sleep before he has to get ready. 

  Oh, who is he kidding? There’s no way he’s going to fall asleep tonight. 

  He wonders around the town, he never noticed just how quiet it was at this time, especially considering how big the town was.  

  Chase finds himself in a small Cafe. He decides to grab a very early breakfast. 

  The Cafe is empty except for the cashier and a man in a bowler cap sitting in the corner. 

  Chase just gets a coffee and a fancy sandwich a plops down at a table. 

  He notices the man seems pretty lonely, so he gets and asks if he could sit across from him. 

  The man nods. 

  “Cool.” Chase sits down and eats. 

  “Tell me,” the man begins. Chase notes that he has a british accent. “What’s a man like you doing out at a time like this?” 

  “I could ask you the same question,” he says through a mouth full of food. 

  The man laughs. “I had a rough day. Or I guess a rough yesterday. Couldn’t sleep.” 

  “Same.” Chase blinks, noticing just how familiar this man seems. “Do I know you.” 

  “Not personally I assure you. You’ve probably seen me on TV.” He lifts off his hat. 

  Chase chokes. “You’re- you’re-!” 

  “Jameson Jackson, at your service.” He holds out his hand. 

  He takes it, his face flushed in embarrassment. 

  “You’re a cyborg, aren’t you?” Jameson says, examining his arm. There was a very faint line where the robotic part met the skin, but Chase thought no one would notice, especially with the mask. 

   “Don’t worry,” he continues, “I won’t say anything. I just tend to notice things. Are you using a mask of sorts?” 

  Chase nods, no longer trusting his voice. 

  “Interesting. I always thought masks were very interesting. I never understood why they were outlawed.” 

  “How did you-”

  “How did I see through it?” Jameson chuckles, letting go of his hand. “Like I said, I tend to notice things. Masks aren’t perfect.” 

  The politician stands up. “Have a lovely day, Mr. Brody.” 

  Chase sits in silence, feeling embarrassed for no particular reason. He doesn’t even think about the fact that he never gave the man his name. 

***

Marvin never liked the silence. The fact that he was used to it didn't change that fact. 

  He liked Chase. For many reasons, he was friendly, and worked hard, and always loved to fill that silence. But he was also stubborn. Even more stubborn than Marvin himself. 

  When Marvin was forced underground, he cut Chase off. He wanted to keep the man safe, and if cutting him off was the way to do it, then he would. 

  But stubborn, persistent Chase, found his way back into Marvin’s life, and this time Marvin couldn’t so easily shut him out.

  The witch was snapped out of his thoughts by a thump and a yelp. He turns to fine his guest had managed to tip over the chair. 

  “Wh-where am I?” Henrik asks. His voice was groggy and high pitched, like he wasn’t used to talking. 

  Marvin fixes the chair upright. “Somewhere no one will ever find you.” 

  The man shivers. “What are you going to do to me?” 

  “Nothing bad. I just have some questions. Can you answer some questions?” 

  Henrik nods, trembling enough to make the chair creek. 

  Marvin pulls up another chair and sits in front of him. “What’s the last thing you remember doing?” 

  “I remember reading. And then sleeping…” 

  “No memories of holding the mayor hostage or threatening to blow up a hospital?”

  Henrik blinks. “Noo…?”

  “Damn it!” He bites his lip and stands up to writing something on the whiteboard. “I was hoping you’d have… something.” 

  “I’m sorry?” He shifted uncomfortably. 

  “”It’s not your fault.” Marvin pulls out a book and flips through it. “Sleep potions tend to cause slight memory loss, and I doubt you were, well, you, during either of those situations.” 

  “I’m confused. Who even are you?” Henrik looked around, his voice a little shaky. 

  “Right, manners.” Deeming the other man harmless, he snaps his fingers and the ropes fall away. “My name is Marvin.” He puts the book back up and holds out his hand. 

  Henrik takes it slowly, his eyes flickering to the myriad of scars that doctorated Marvin’s hand and arm. He then notices how many scars he has on his own hands. 

  The magician notices his gaze. “Do you know how you got any of those?”

  “Papercuts.” He states, but he doesn’t sound so sure.

  “If you say so.” Marvin shrugs and lets go. 

  Henrik slowly shifts to sitting on the floor, finding that more comfortable. 

  Marvin watches him and sighs. “Do you want to play a boardgame or something?”

  He shrugs and Marvin pulls a random box off the shelf.

***

Chase ate lunch alone, as usual. Sure he’d only worked here for a few days, but it seemed like no one really liked him. Maybe he wasn’t friendly enough, or maybe he was too friendly.

  Whatever the matter, he was alone.  

  There were benefits to the loneliness. For one, he could sit back and listen to music instead of having to make conversation. And he could be sloopy without being judged. 

  He was completely fine with eating alone, are hardly lonely, he told himself. 

  He slipped on his headphones to mute his thoughts for a moment. He didn’t pack much of a lunch, just some cold leftovers from a week ago. Not that he was in the mood for anything else.

  Right as he was about to get to the good part of a song, someone tapped his shoulder. Chase grunted and turned off his music. 

  “Do you mind if I sit here?” The man asked. 

  Chase blinked, taking a moment to register his face. He gulped, his face heating up. 

  “I- uh- s-sure.” 

  The man gave a toothy grin and sat across from him. 

  “You’re Chase Brody right?” 

  Chase nods. “And you’re- you’re Anti right..?” 

  Anti chuckles. “Actually, it’s Anthony. But Anti works too. How are you?” 

  “I’m fine,” He squeaks.

  “You sure?” You look a little red.” Anti raises an eyebrow. 

  “Yeah. I’m ok, it’s just a little warm in here.”

  “I can ask someone if they can turn down the temperature.” 

  “No- no. I’m fine.” Why was he getting so flustered right now?

  “Sorry if this is a little forward, but can I have your number?” 

  Chase chokes on air.  “Yes. I mean no. I mean my phone broke last night, so I don’t have a number right now. But I have plans to get one soon.” Marvin said he’d get him a new one, right?

  “Hm, alright. Maybe later tonight I can take you out and get you a new one.” Anti smiles. 

  This time Chase really chokes, going into a coughing fit. 

  “I- I’m fine.” He says between coughs. “I appreciate the offer, but no!” 

  “Oh well. We should go out some time though.” He glances at the clock. “Welp, I gotta get back to work.”

  “But the break just started.” Chase called, but Anti already disappeared. 

***

Marvin signed, pulling out the Monopoly rules again to try and explain them. They were sitting on the floor, an array of pieces and Monopoly money spewed about. 

  “You don’t seem very into this game,” Henrik comments.

  “I’m not really. Monopoly is just boring.” He tossed down the instructions and started putting the game up. 

  “Are you okay?” 

  Marvin paused. “Why do you care.” 

  “Because I’m a human being with basic empathy that can tell when something is wrong.” Henrik stated, crossing his arms. 

  Marvin said nothing, sliding the game back on the shelf. 

  “Fine. You’re right.” He slumped back onto the floor. 

  “So. What’s wrong.” 

  “I’m not about to spill my feelings to someone I met about…” He glances at the clock., “Ten hours ago, that could be a murderous asshole for all I know.” 

  He gulped, turning away. 

  Marvin groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

  “Yes you did, don’t lie.” 

  “I don’t think you’re the bad guy. Or a bad guy in general. I just have too many feelings, and like I said, I’ve only known you for so long.” 

  “I understand.” Henrik looks down. 

  “I just sent my friend to investigate someone, and I'm worried that he'll get hurt. Especially since he doesn’t have a phone, which is my fault and-” 

  The doctor reaches out to touch his shoulder, giving him a sympathetic look. 

  He wipes his face, laughing weakly. “Oh, this is pathetic.” 

  “Don’t say that!” Henrik snaps. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk?”

  “What are you, a therapist?” 

  “I’m a doctor, but I did dabble in psychology,” Henrik says with a prideful grin.  

  “Fine. If you really wanna hear about my issues.” 

[closetspngirl]

Winchester’s Witch (Part 3)

Summary: You lived a normal life in Lawrence, Kansas. After graduating you move across the country to go to college. That’s when you notice that you’re seemingly finding yourself in…weird situations. And they only get weirder from there. Pairings: None, Friends with Sam and Dean, Rowena Word Count: 2782 Warnings: Mild swearing A/N: Last part! Hope you enjoyed it! Series Masterlist

Rowena looked to you, then your hand, then back at you, her red lips curling up. “What’s yer name dear?”

Looking between Sam and Dean and then back to Rowena you answered her, somewhat nervously. “Y/N.”

“No dear, ye’r surname.” Shifting your weight nervously from one foot to the other, “Gilmore.” You heard Sam hum, like he thought this situation was suddenly funny. “My last name funny or something?” You asked him, a little more accusation in your voice than you intended. “No, no. Sorry. It’s just…I’ve always thought it sounded familiar, but I can never figure out why. It’s nothing. Sorry.”

Your attention went back to Rowena. “Well now that that’s been sorted,” Rowena moving her pointed gaze from Sam back to you, she continued. “Gilmore ye say? That would be the Mac’IlleMhòire line, out of a little town in Scotland; Achnascheen. What do ye know about ye’r family dear?”

Now you were really confused. You had no idea that you were even Scottish. You never thought to look up your family history past your great grandparents. “Um, nothing I guess. I just thought my family was from here, well, Lawrence.”

“Wait, you’re from Lawrence? As in Kansas?” Dean asked sounding surprised. It was occurring to all of you that you hadn’t talked about where any of you came from. “Yeah, born and raised. My parents are professors at the University,” you told him.

Rowena kept smiling through the whole exchange. “Ah. Seems ye all missed something in the introductions a few years back, eh?” That pulled all your attentions. “How do you know I’ve been with them that long?”

“Well dear, I guess a’m th’ first tae tell ye.” She stated. “Tell me what exactly…” your eyes narrowing.

“Ye’r a witch my dear.” Once again, she got three sets of stares back at her.

“I hate witches,” you heard Dean say, this time you shot him a warning glare to zip it until you figured this out.

You started pacing, the three of them watching you, back and forth in front of the beds. Sam had tried to speak, but you held a hand up to quiet him, after all you were just told that you were a witch, you needed a moment.  

“Y/N, you keep going at that sweetheart, you’re going to wear a hole in the floor. Sit,” Dean said. You looked up, snapping out of the fog that had settled in your head. As if on autopilot, you moved to the bed closest them and sat.

“Start explaining, Rowena. I have a feeling Y/N is going to lose it in a moment without some sort of logical explanation,” Sam almost growled at her. You only saw him like this when he was trying to pull information out of some wrong doing monster, not that Rowena wasn’t one of them. But that was beside the point, and he wasn’t wrong. You were doing everything you could to stay focused right now.

“Ok, ok. When an’ where did ye get the ring dear?”

“Uh, from my mom. She gave it to me for my eighteenth birthday,” looking down at it, running your finger over one of the deep purple stones. It was an Edwardian style ring, silver filigree, purple stones, flashy, but not gaudy or over the top.

Continuing on as she turned fully to you in the chair she sat in, “Oh dear, that ring is far older. Centuries old, originating from Elspeth Reoch, executed in 1616 for bein’, well, a witch.”

“Still startling her, Rowena,” Dean warned, keeping his eye on you.

Letting out an exasperated sigh, “Well, there’s not much I can do about the history Dean, what’s done is done. Not trying tae scare the poor girl.” Noticing your attention was on the ring, she started with that. “Amethyst. A stone for protection, stress and anxiety.” You looked up at her, confusion on your face, “But I rarely get anxious, or stressed for that matter, even during finals week in college when everyone else was losing their minds over studying, I was fine.”

One of her perfectly manicured pointer fingers went to her nose, “Exactly dear, because of the power inside of you, and the stone. How have yer hunts been, say, the last few years? Noticed anything?”

The boys were thinking back to old cases. “I had the heart issue the year Sammy started back hunting with me. And there was the case with the shtriga that almost killed Sam,” Dean remembered.

“I got abducted by Azazel and sent to that camp, and then died, then brought back. There was that Vamp killer, Gordon Walker, who turned Dean against me. Oh, and that run of bad luck with Bella,” Sam said, listing off some of their other cases.

You looked up in realization. “Nothing more than some cuts and scrapes has come to either of you since I met you, right? I’ve heard stories about your hunts before I showed up. I mean think about the last couple of hunts we did. Things could have gone wrong. Fast. But they didn’t and here we are living to tell the tales.” Did you actually believe what she was telling you? Everything was making sense.

You were sure that smile was permanently attached to Rowena’s face at this point. “Have ye ever noticed th’ ring almost shining…shimmering, even when there’s no sun around? That’s when yer know you’re protecting something.”

Looking down you saw a faint hint of light from the ring, when there was only the dim motel lighting. “What about now? We’re not in a situation where I would have to protect them,” you asked. “Ah, but deep down ye know ye’r not completely comfortable with what’s happening, ye’r on edge. And not just because of ye’r hunting instincts. That’s the magic in ye’r.”

Rowena turned to the boys, “Have ye tried tae give her an anti possession tattoo yet?”

They looked at each other, Rowena already knowing the answer before they could vocalize it.

“Of course it wouldn’t work, she has a witch’s mark. Where is ye’rs dear?” turning back to you.

You looked at the boys. All of you knew what mark she was talking about.

You decided to join the boys after that night at the bar. You weren’t sure what it was about them, but you were drawn to them. They let you get settled into the bunker for a week or so before starting any training. One day Dean told you to get changed and meet him in the gym, which you did, walking in in a pair of leggings and a tank top. He started giving you the basics of fighting, letting you warm up. You had tried a couple of moves from a head on scenario, switching to coming from behind. Dean grabbed you, waiting for you to work your way out of his hold when he noticed the mark on your back. Your tank top had shifted slightly from the movement between your bodies, uncovering the mark on your shoulder blade.

“What is that? A birthmark?” Dean asked you once he saw it. “What are you talking about?” you asked him, after he released you. “Here,” putting his finger on it, “It’s like a, an antler…not sure. Some sort of symbol,” he said, taking out his phone to take a picture. “Huh, I’ve never noticed that before. You’d think I would have noticed by now, right?”

“Y/N?” Sam asked you, “You ok?” Looking up you realized that you had been walking down memory lane. “We were going to look into it, Dean, you took the picture of it, but we never did anything. Shit hit the fan pretty quickly what with the whole Mark of Cain thing and what not. I guess it kind of just got swept under the rug.”

“Well dear, where is it?” Rowena asked again. You unbuttoned your flannel and lowered the sleeve on your left shoulder, pulled your hair to the right side and turned so she could see it.

“Yes. The Algiz, or elk rune; the rune of protection. When did ye notice it dear?”

“That would have been…when I turned twenty-five?” You told her, eliciting a hum from her, like she was confirming something to herself. “The mark shows after the ring is given, depending on how you…present yourself.

“Presenting as in…” you trailed off in question. “As in protecting. Them.” Rowena pointed to Sam and Dean.

You thought about all the times you had seen the guys. “So all of those run ins with them when I was in college? Helping them when I was in Seattle?” you asked. She responded with a sly nod.

“Ok, I have a question. How is all of this possible if I had no idea that I’m a witch? My parents have never said anything, and they’re both European history professors. You’d think they’d mention some century old family secret, right?”

Rowena laughed through her lips, almost humming. “There are three types of witches dear. The borrowers, the naturals,” she said motioning towards you, “and the students. You are obviously and quite literally, a natural. Ye’r don’t need tae be taught because it’s already in ye. There are extraordinary cases to each of these, and ye dear, happen to be one of them. Protectors are strong, very rarely ever learn from a book or mentor, and never use their magic for the sides of good or evil.”

Confused, once again, you asked, “But isn’t some of what we do…maybe not considered good?”

A hearty laugh came from the red head now. “Oh of course! Ye three are no saints, that’s for sure.” Dean rolled his eyes. “But there’s a second bit to this extraordinary case that you happen to be. Every few hundred years or so, they come up, where a witch such as yourself finds the one, or in this case ones, that she is supposed to protect. So, ye’r not protecting for the sake of good and evil, ye’r protecting them from anything that wants to cause them harm. Ye’r more powerful than you know, between your bloodline, the mark and the ring, no major harm will come to ye or the boys.”

You looked between the boys, both of which were looking at you. “Huh, so that happened,” letting out an airy laugh, still getting over the shock of the situation.

“I’m a witch.” It was more of a statement than a question, but directed to Rowena either way.

“Ye’r a witch dear.”

Looking right at Dean, pointedly, “I hope you can make an exception,” a smirk resting on your lips. He laughed, “For you, of course I can.”

“Well, now that all of that has been settled, the help I needed. There’s a vampire nest not far from here. One of them has been after me for the better part of a century, I’d like him dead. I don’t care what ye do with the rest, but ye may as well kill them while ye’r at it. I know ye boys can handle a nest; especially with Y/N,” she looked at you, giving you a wink.

---

“Ok, everyone clear on what we’re supposed to be doing?” Dean asked from the front seat, the Impala parked just down the road from the old barn that the nest was in. “Go in, find the guy, kill them all, get the hell out,” you and Sam took turns repeating each part back to Dean just as you had practiced. “And,” Dean said, turning his gaze to you. “And act like nothing is different in light of recent information,” you finished.

He wasn’t wrong. You couldn’t go in with machetes drawn giving any thought to what you had recently found out from Rowena. All you had to do was make sure you wore your ring, like you always did, and kill the vampires, like you’ve done before.

The three of you stalk towards the barn along the line of trees when Dean turned to Sam, “How many vamps do we think are in here?” All of you stopped walking, Sam looking between the two of you. “Well in everything that I read about them, it should be about five or six?” Dean wasn’t amused. “Should? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” “I, uh, think it means there should be five or six, but he’s not sure,” you quipped, getting an eyeroll from the elder brother.

“This seems too easy. I don’t like it when it seems easy. Why would Rowena send us to a kill that would be easy enough that we could do with or without Y/N, without breaking a sweat?” Dean was questioning. “Well, I guess we prepare for worst case scenario?” you responded, answering his questions as best you could, which really wasn’t an answer in anyway at all.

So that’s exactly what you did, well as best as you could while you were practically on the front step of the door to the nest. When you got in, surprisingly unheard by the prey in question, you looked at each other then back to the rest of the barn. And the fourteen vampires that were mingling around.

Just as you planned, you fought like you normally did; not giving thought to the ring, or the fact that you now knew that you were a witch. The kills were surprisingly easy for you since any vampire that ended up standing in front of you froze, out of fear, making cutting their head off quite simple. When the three of you finished, you looked around at the mess that the ‘fight’ had caused.

“Uhh, guys, I only count thirteen bodies,” Sam mentioned. “Where’s the last one, he was here, I counted fourteen when we walked in, twice,” you responded.

There was a rustling of hay on the ground from one of the darkened corners of the barn, announcing the shadowed figure coming out. “Looking for me?” he said, acting like this wasn’t his last day. “Sure am. You Dante?” you asked, the vampire ignoring the guys and heading, slowly, right for you. While his attention was on you, Sam and Dean were quietly making they’re way up behind him. You noticed your heart rate was staying calm you, you know, for having a vampire with its eyes set on you within arms reach.

“Maybe, maybe not. Who wants to know?” The smug son of a bitch was still thinking he was going to get away from this. He stopped, maybe 5 feet in front of you, enough space that you could take him down, if you put enough power into your swing. You wanted him closer though. “Let’s call her…a mutual friend,” you gave him, not entirely sure what he’d do at the mention of Rowena’s name. Chuckling, more to himself than anything, he took two more steps towards you, and froze. “No,” he whispered.

What he didn’t see was the ever so slight glance that you had given Dean a few seconds before, telling him to take him down when he had the chance. And now that Dante was in front of you, frozen from whatever invisible force was coming off of you, he had the chance. Well, all three of you did, but there was something about the way Dean finished off a vamp that was entertaining. In the dramatic sense, not the ‘I love chopping the heads of half human half creatures off’ sense; he was always making a show of the last one.

“That was still too easy. I don’t like easy,” Dean huffed, not completely out of breath, but more because the fight was over. “I know, no one likes it; but it’s done. We did was she said, and we’re all coming out unscathed. Which I guess just proves everything Rowena told us, me,” you said, not really to either of them.

You looked at Sam first, him offering you a smile. “So, a witch.” You shrugged in response, “Guess so?” You looked at Dean next, “Still ok with this?” He seemed to be thinking about it, which should have spiked your heart rate a little, knowing what he was capable of doing to someone. A smile found its way back to his face, “Yeah. I’m still ok with this. You are the only witch that I will ever be ok with. I guess as long as you stick around. But judging by our history, it wouldn’t be long before we ended up together again. So, still want to keep hanging out with us, Y/N?”

“I would love that,” you said, a big smile on all of your faces. “Let’s go home.”

[paraclete0407]

Pretty sure I'm going to become Catholic if I don't die from Delta tonight - I've been thinking about it my whole life and I feel awful contemplating how much time and how many people I've lost.  Recently I concluded what might have been my last intimate love-relationship with someone - the last person I feel I ever wanted to marry, m y first true Christian fellowship, it's just  over now.  Night is falling over Milwaukee.   I drove to Chicago today, it was very foggy.  I remembered riding the bus in to Seoul in 2012 and reflecting on Aurelius Augustinius' adage that this vast dark world overwhelms our being / soul and at the same time our soul protests or rebels against this whole world.   Till recently I might not have considered enough the awesome scale of God the Father or the size and depth of Hell.  I didn't realize how lessons learned are not only challenging to apply, but important to magnify or amplify.  America feels like a huge trap, all these warrens.  Everyone was told for decades life is small, everyone is equal, don't judge, it'll be OK.  Suddenly everyone is trying to be everybody else's father, teacher, answer-machine, certainty-source.  Traffic is insane, weaving, filtering, cutting off.  People think they are professionals making astute snap-judgments - like military officers giving commands.  It is reaction, 'expressive individualism.'  Ill-bred people; I am ill-bred too.   I also never apologized to God till today or considered that He might have defended me in my years of meekness against everyone who either wanted something from me or was keen to write me off for lack of go-getting masculinity.   I actually feel as if I owe an apology to Holy Mother Mary for her solicitude.  Suddenly I realized that a few sacred important people in this world have been thinking, knowing, believing much as I have but they're far away and I have no means to go and be with them.  I don't even know how to account for the last 9 years of my life.  I rebelled against every teacher and father; I cope with rejection horribly; I've always doneless than I could; I always stop knocking. I have an extreme temperament, severe, grave, but always act the moderate.   Lately it seems as if humanity is dimly aware of the fact that Covid is a Judgment and that it could have something to do with racial war, class war, gender war, identity politics, generations, history, as well as religious divisions at least where I am.  I don't like talking about Roman Catholicism because the way in which some clergy passed kids around is blindly incomprehensible; I remember Pope Francis using the phrase, 'consecrates a Black Mass.' Over the last 5 years I slowly improved myself but technology changed so precipitately and everyone now seems to understand everything already.  Everyone is sophisticated and look through people and guess at their underlying motivation or 'rhetorical purpose' and background in ways I used to relish maliciously doing in college but since quit as I wished to err on the 'sweet and obvious side of the light' and rather renounced intellect and guile.   I don't know what Koreans are like anymore either which saddens me at a personal level.  Did they all become cynical?  Do they look down on white men now?  Recently a scholar whom I wrote to in the past EY Pastreich wrote about totalitarianism in America and I felt like, 'I was going to be the answers-man who dealt in certainties in an age of relativism and probability' but it all went to someone else; nor did I realize how certain Science and statistics had become.  

I have a lot of flaws like sensualism, aestheticism, expectation of unending maternal unconditional love.  Ever since 18 I relied on the same few pieces of music to hold me, Franz Biebl's 'Ave Maria,' Praetorius' 'Es It Ein Rosentsprungen.'  Biebl only wrote a few pieces of music in his life. I don't know why in the past decade I went to war with the world when meekness had seen me through for a long time and kept me surprising everyone who said I wasn't doing enough or getting with the times.  I'm really dumb, blind.  I also accumulated various cupidities and preciosities.  It's pathetic.  Today there are race-wars, class-wars, gender-wars, identity-wars, age-wars.  Covid I still feel is just anti-Asian racism though - I can't see it any other way and I always, always lose my motivation for studying or reading about anything but the history of Western imperialism.  I don't want to speak ill of Protestants b/c I read Metaxas' Luther bioraphy at least in part and the cynicism of that priesthood... but 'Heil Hitler point 1' in Milwaukee is like 'Joshua and genocide' every day, showing no mercy.  I love John Piper, John MacArthur, RC Sproul I only wish I'd listened more like 35 years ago.  But.  Chest-beating.  However the fault is mine for I'd be more masculine if I simply abided with probity by the rules of Scripture and subjected myself to wholesome discipline.  I don't know why I'm so skitting of everything. Honestly I'm a Satanist - in the Baudelarean sense and otherwise.  There was a student I worked with in KR who reminded me of the poem 'Benediction' which is 'bad sauce' but poems like that and K-Pop stuff like Aespa or 'Lamborghini Angels' by Lupe fiasco is kind of 'advanced, ultramodern' religious contents.  I can't say more than that b/c those are real people and also part of my 'patrimony' or simply my experience as a man / human; specific responsibilities. One thing I really regret is in past I always tried to blow my family off with cheap gifts which was 'pozzed' b/c cheap gifts and fake gifts and twisted as opposed to linear gifts is part of what's wrong with all of Europe Germany Netherlands et cetera.  Like, 'I have a perfect idea- nah, let me f--- it up to personalize it or sth.'  Milwaukee's obsessed with ethnography like 'Wales has mining and its own language' but they never ethnographize German culture which is all about hiding your virtue and doing less than you can - 'be more than you seem.'  But why?  It's completely diametrically anti-biblical to hide your light.  Anyway criticizing the Church when 4 million people died and my own DNA (Dutch) just got an 800% spike in Delta infections might seem kind of idle / academic but lit-crit is sth I've been doing all my life.  Why wait? I keep thinking of 'Lincoln' lately which is not a great movie and Kushner says a lot of dumb stuff.  But the 'now now now' and 'millions unborn' is absolutely epic and it's what is going on right now all the time.  Today I got lost in Chicago while trying to report to the ROK Consul General literally to discuss matters fro mthe past as well as literally to tell them to evacuate Koreans from Milwaukee (most of the ones I knew in past are already gone).  Right now I wish I could make myself as little but perfect a box / chamber as possible in which to exist like a prison-cell just to I stop wrecking my own chances.  I also remembered a Sowon hyper-fanfic called 'My Brother's Type' about someone I knew who used to like these leggy lissome slightly remote types but decided to trash their own taste in women (nothing wrong with changing mind per se but) and deciding B-52's and gangster / clan / tribal conspiracy is better than being open and honest.  Ironically 'B-52' was a nickname given to Chairman Mao by I think [I forget]'s son since he had a huge stomach that dropped out all kinds of murderous ideas which again I can't see any other way but that's the origin of Covid.  I was thinking of all these snice things to say about my carpet-bombing-philc family but thta's pozzed too at this point I just need to get baptized and hopefully plenary indulgence(?) before  Iget flamethrowered in my containment-zone.  I remember this picture of a Vietnamese woman with a crashed B in the background; I read 'Fire Road' and 'Ru' with that boy named Pascal and I read 'Pensees' over and over and over again like, 'Finally my friend.'  if I live to be even 51 or 52 I really want to go back to Asia or even just K-Town LA; I miss all my friends; I hear them, Protestants don't need me, Milwaukee doesn't need me, I'm just a 'little flower' or something.   I remembered today the face of the person I most wanted ot marry and the day we went on this kind of 'communication session' with a chaperone(?); went home and started reading Proust feeling 'everlasting gratitude.'  Never finished Proust nearly.  I bought a Korean language version of 'The Remains of the Day' which was the other novel I read that year and remembered trying to interpret 'South of the Border West of the Sun' in terms of a geographic-anagogic sort of Dantean-Northrop-Fryian system that would turn the title in to 'Before the Beginning and After the End.'  Sitting in the meditation-garden of the Church of Peter and Paul and just thinking of sailed ships and corners turned but that too was years ago.  I don't even know how to work gas-station pumps anymore.  Remebering the last words of someone from a vanished era, the 1990s when we thought that every little people could have their own republic and now the passive resistance people in Myanmar etc. are all getting jailed by dictators.  Richard Holbrooke with his arterial dissection, 'I love so many people.'  Maybe I should just wait outside the local church gate all night; little kids from Syria in France and such are sleeping in parks.  IDK why I stopped letting myself be acted on b/c my typical 'seizure of agency, self-coup' modus operandi is to headbutt immoveable objects and feast the obese.  I should've been a Jesuit or Cistercian, love Bernard of Clairvaux, 'Honey and Salt,' love Augustine who seems to be watching over the whole world right now, 'an intellectual giant,' hoping we will all remember Original Sin and the 'curse in hope' instead of thinking of C19 as somebody's technical error / lack of being a smart Democrat... I also liked 'Humana Vitae' to say the least; Koreans always talk about love of life and I realize death and evil and the Devil are things I should've taken more seriously in the past but... Anyway I also noticed how people are scrambling to conceptualize everything in terms of 'oxygenation' nowadays.  Concept of 'holiness' related to separateness but what can that mean if not integrity when we're all part of the metabolism of the Earth.  I'm saying too much now I always do too much or too little.  The future appears to be cereal-grains and the consciousness of chains.

I keep thinking about writing a very long letter explaining everything that led me to this point in my life.  There is much reconciliation, mitigation.  A while back I felt as if I were able to hold in my mind my entire life and somehow be aware of my coexistence or coevality with people who had been thousands of miles away at the time when I was in ES admiring the principal and there were images of stairs, windows at mid-stairs, but maybe I'm still avoiding or disclaiming personal responsibility or failing to see myself through the relevant / pertinent eyes.  

[alovevigilante]

Job interview: by Kari Keillor

Interviewer: Hello, Mrs. Kailior is it?

Kari: No, it’s pronounced Keeler, like the elves but without the b.

Interviewer: yes, I see... ok. Well, I see here that you are interested in working for our fine establishment.

Kari: yes, please as I need the money.

Interviewer: ok then... why do you want to work here?

Kari: I need money.

Interviewer: (jots down notes) ok, yes... yes... hmmm, I see here that you only have your associates degree, is that correct?

Kari: yes. I’m also one class into my junior year of college at a four year college.

Interviewer: oh... I see. Well, I’m sorry, but in order to complete this interview we need our applicants to have a minimum of a four year bachelors degree to be able to do this very important job we need filled.

Kari: I’m not a bachelor.

Interviewer: yes, we see that here on this paper. That means you aren’t qualified to be what it is we’re looking for here.

Kari: you haven’t seen me. Your nose has been down in my resume the whole entire time.

Interviewer: um, yes, see we don’t quite know how you got in here to be seen, seeing that you aren’t up to our qualifying qualifications.

Kari: yes, well seeing that I’m unseen, and as long as I’m here, maybe we can discuss what I HAVE done in my life that can be an asset to your job requirements. Perhaps that will suffice and be of some value to your qualification team.

Interviewer: no.

Kari: ok. Well, it was nice not really meeting you.

Interviewer: yes. Thank you for fulfilling my requirements of having to see a certain amount of people to fill this very important position that we probably won’t fill for quite some time and leave empty, and make others in our company do the job in addition to the jobs we pay them to do, and won’t pay them any extra to do this extra work of this job we have left, unfulfilled. Also, we will all complain about it a lot, and the middle management, that’s me, will shrug and yell at the people below me, and we will tell our higher ups, but they won’t be available because they will be golfing, and eating croissants on a veranda in Paris, while everything below them goes to shit. And when their workers become disgruntled, they will blame me, and I will say that I am following their protocol of the very important and highly overrated way of how things have always been done in business.

Kari: yes. That sounds about right. Well, thank you for saving me all that time and grief.

Interviewer: no problem. Good luck to you, and it was great not giving you a chance.

Kari: yes, and thanks for not investing time or effort in me!

Interviewer: sure thing! Take care now!

Scene.

George Carlin: Kari?

Kari: yeah?

Carlin: feel that clamp on your ass?

Kari: yeah.

Carlin: that’s bitterness.

Kari: right. Well, what do you want from me? I’m going back to school.

Carlin: why?

Kari: to become what I already am now only accredited by society.

Carlin: do you want to do this?

Kari: not this way.

Carlin: then why don’t you just wait til you feel better about it.

Kari: George, I’m 46. By the time I get my masters I’ll be over 50 years old. Wait?! I don’t have time to wait anymore. I’m sick of not having a degree.

Carlin: why?

Kari: cause I can’t do shit without one! I have an associates degree. Do you know what that means when you’re looking for a job, George?

Carlin: yes, cause I’m you. But enlighten me anyway so we can feel worse than we already do now.

Kari: ok, well, it’s basically the equivalent of having a high school diploma. When you look for a job that’s above minimum wage the requirements are usually the minimum of a bachelors degree in whatever and a certain amount of years of “on the job” experience.

Carlin: so?

Kari: ok, well, DON’T have it, George!

Carlin: then don’t do it, Kar...

Kari: George, I’m tired of not doing, ok? It’s time for some success for Kari Keillor, ok? I’m tired of the glass ceiling of social norms.

Carlin: great. Then continue to write and yell and scream and that will create the momentum you need for success in your chosen field.

Kari: a graduate degree in Art therapy and counseling?

Carlin: no asshole! Writing comedy!

Kari: no.

Carlin: fine, ok? We’re all here waiting until you come to your senses.

Kari: George, unfortunately we need to collaborate for that to occur, and I got news, we don’t have that.

Carlin: you don’t have to collaborate to write, Kari.

Kari: George, maybe you have forgotten what it’s like here on planet earth in the 3D, since you are now NOT here in the physical, but in order to lead a decent life, it takes tangible money, accreditation, and collaboration with people. I have none of the above.

George: yeah, I see your point. Ok then, off to school we go.

Belushi, John: oh fuck, I gotta go back to school and do this shit with her?!

Richard Pryor: yes sasshole, because you are belligerent to people online with your shit!

Belushi, John: don’t blame all this on me, Hamis is all up in Murray’s grilled ass...

Richard: ok, look. Kari’s pissed, ok? So now, our ass is being enrolled as a psychology major. This is what you get for being a shit... and a dick!

Kari: guys, look, it’s what we have to do to be seen for what we are. If it costs another 100 grand to do it, then so be it.

Belushi, John: this suuuuuucks, ok?! I’m not into it, so I’m not goin!

Gilda Radner: (pulling John by the ear) oh, you’re goin! Kari will sew your asscheeks together and drag you by the extra thread if need be.

Kari: I decided not to go near his asscheeks fictitious or not.

Gilda: probably a good decision.(1) Ok, let’s put it like this, we’re back to class. And you need to apologize to bill Murray, Steve Martin, John Cleese, Eric idle for being idle-y, Frank oz, and Mandy patinkin!

Belushi, John: I didn’t do shit to those guys! They have a whole bunch of problems all on their own! They’ve all lost their will to laugh! So why are you blaming me?!

(Terri and graham snicker in the background)

Harold ramis (aka hamis): listen John, we all know you like to instigate, and now all of us are going to be forced to listen to lectures on the human psyche, and you are to blame! So just apologize to them, and get this shit over with! I’m not willing to go back and become a junior in college again! Well, actually come to think of it, it may be slightly interesting to see how the human brain relates to how we interact as a collective people. This could benefit our writing immensely! Ok, I’m in. But Kari, just mention meatballs to bill one more time... for old times sake...

Kari: Hamis, how many times can a person mention that ridiculous, old timey movie before people start asking themselves if you’re insane?!

Richard: 34.

Kari: I don’t think it’s that many, Richard...

Belushi, John: nooooooooo! God, no! Ok fine, I’ll apologize... anything’s better than talking theory with ole schezwan head over here...

Kari: oh great! Now I’m gonna be called racist again... and still...

Belushi, John: Ramis isn’t Asian... you’re ok...

Michael stuvic (meathead from “All in the family”): No! Ok?! That’s just WRONG! She is a racist, a bigot, a lunatic, and she needs to be stopped! Gloria and I will not raise our little Joey the way that she’s been raised! We need more people to revolt against her incompressible blather!

George: she was raised in a good parochial upbringing.

Meathead: “I just thank god I’m an atheist...” (2)

Kari: I AM NOT A RACIST OR AN ATHEIST! I believe in all people being equal, and in God!

Meathead: no one said you were an atheist... A racist? Yes, but not an atheist.

Kari: EVERYONE thinks I’m the worst!

Belushi, John: no they don’t! They just think you’re a devil worshiper!

George: Belushi, stop fucking with Kari, she basically has the balls but doesn’t literally like people may or may not think, to write what she thinks we want her to say. So, now she has to apologize for being a shit but not, cause we were kidding and what she said wasn’t that bad or even bad at all... and Mandy, Judas Priest isn’t satanic, nor are they an anti-Semitic heavy metal group. They sing a ridiculously high pitched, screaming bloody murder, very, very, very long song called, “painkiller” about a flying skeleton half robot man that is on fire riding a motorcycle, and killing evil in its path. That’s it.

Richard: yes. It’s the age old story of skeleton half man half robot or machine, that gets pissed, and decides he’s going to take revenge and vengeance, so he flies in the air with metal and smoke and thunder and lightning and steel, and all that heavy metal good shit, and he crushes people’s dicks.

Gilda: sounds innocent enough to me...

Carlin: you like metal now, Richie?

Richard: well, I’m her, so I have to.

Belushi, John: THAT’S what the song is about?!

Kari: look, I don’t freaking know, alright?! All I know is that I only wanted to hear him sing it because he sings ungodly high for a man that hasn’t been kicked in the nut sack.

Hamis: we all want to hear that...

Belushi, John: .... but nooooooooo! She’s a fucking crazy woman! She’s insane! She’s telling me to sing a satanic song and I’m not ok with that!

Judas Priest: how many times do we have to say we’re not satan worshipers before someone believes us?!

Richard: 34.

Karl: ok, that’s it. I’ll apologize for all of you, because I do it all the time anyway. Ready?! Here goes: I’m sorry to everyone! I’m sorry I’m such an asshole and that everyone must be so insulted by me and my mere existence that no one in my life talks to me anymore. Ok?! There! I’m sorry you think I’m crazy because I’m a bored housewife who needs a destiny, and who hates to clean never, and cook sometimes but usually either orders out or ma comes over and cooks dinner for everyone at 6am, and I’m not even qualified to work as a person who talks poops on sesame street ok?! Cause I’ve most likely been banned from there in my head and maybe out, I’m not quite sure yet, because of being me! And I’m sorry, if that embarrasses you, or if I embarrass you by mere genetics or association! And yes, separation, isn’t cool with me, but it’s fine If you aren’t cool with me, cause I’m me, and if it’s a choice between you and me, I have to choose me, cause I’m all I got, ok? I wake up with me in the morning, and go throughout my day with me, and yes, close your ears people who don’t want to hear this part cause it can be construed as dirty like some of you believe me to be, I also bathe and sleep, with myself too! I do that! So, the opinions of you plural, make a marginal difference to me if I let them, which I usually do, because I’m human, and I have feelings and I care, but the scales have tipped now, and me, wins, cause I care about how I feel too now, ok?! And if you have a low opinion of me, and treat me that way, you, are out! Cause I’m not down with people who haven’t invested that much time or effort to get to know me talking smack about me like they’re experts on the subject of me, cause they’re not! So please enroll in the school of Kari keillor directly for the information, that’s ME, or shut your pie holes! It’s as simple as that!

Richard: God I love her....

Carlin: Kari?

Kari: yeah?

Carlin: to the school we go, unless we hear otherwise.

Kari: what otherwise?!

Carlin: exactly.

Scene.

Kari: no scene! Wtf are you talking about?

Carlin: you are now witnessing reality. The reality is, no one collaborates with you, so it’s time you make the executive decision to support you, and we’re down with that.

Karl: you have, no choice.

Carlin: I know, but it’s nice you bounce it off is anyway.

Kari: ok, who wants to end this extremely lengthy scene and/ or monologue?

Belushi, John: I will. I wanna know something...

Kari: oh man....

Belushi, John: no, really, I’ve always wanted to know something and it’s really important.

Kari: ok, what is it?

Belushi, John: when there’s so many amazing pizza places around the Chicagoland area, why would ANYONE eat at a chain pizza place?!

Kari: scene.

Belushi, John: no, fine... I apologize to Frank oz, my old time pal, for calling him an asshole. He’s not one. He’s a really nice, and forgiving person.

Big bird: yeah! Wait a minute... who’s he?

Kari: sigh... scene...

1. “I think that is a good decision.” Is a quote from my husband’s cousin Gary, and I don’t know where the hell he got it from, but it’s most likely from a very obscure movie, as it’s an obscure reference.

2. A direct quote from the show, “All in the family” said by the fictional character Michael Stivic created by Norman Lear.

[riczi-vengeance]

Legacy of Anti (Chapter 8)

Lena was frozen, staring at everyone with her grey eyes. But her sight was blurry almost as if Anti still had control over her body. She was breathing softly , but there was an evident stupefaction on her face. She was nervously scratching her neck, scraping off the tiny scabs and making the blood flow a little. This view slightly disgusted Jack who was now kneeling beside her. For a pair of persons who barely knew each other they seemed to care a lot when one another was getting hurt. Jack was playing with Lena's hair trying to soothe her and calm her down a bit but it wasn't quite working. As soon she saw drops of blood on her hand she began to rub and scratch her arms. Jack despite of the smitherins of a glass, spreaded on the floor that was hurting his knees was now patting her back and whispering to her to cool it down and to give herself a little more time to regenerate her strength.. Ignoring his bidding a pale girl tried to stand up and after a few sways she spoke with a shaking voice: ~I saw his plans when I was possessed by this bastard. It's like his mind was connected with mine even though he didn't realize it at the time. But you just can't let that happen.. No it can't be. Jack, you can't… Before Lena was able to finish her sentence she began to fall onto her knees and after a couple moans she passed out again. Jack with all the sincere concern has put her to a recovery position. He cared about her safety even if it was obvious that poor Lena has just lost a little strength and nothing serious was really happening. He took his shirt of since it was the only clean fabric around this cabin, poured a little water on it and placed it on a girl's forehead to revive her. He noticed that she got a very high fever and he was worried. At the same moment, Aygee was observing Mark who happened to gather a little more vitality than her friend and who was finally recovering from Darkiplier's possession. She didn't want to copycat Jack's movement so instead of taking her shirt off she gave Mark a glass of water and was holding his shoulder to show her compassion. She began to get jealous of someone who barely met and could take a better care of each other than a couple that was together for several years. She stood up and came a little closer to Jack and unconscious Lena. ~Nobody deserves a fate like you two. Aygee sighed and left for a kitchen to grab a towel. She wettened it and put on Mark's shouders. She decided that it would be better to do it than regret not doing it later and having a fractious boyfriend with a fever that annoys her. The colors on Mark's face started to return as the power of Darkiplier was completly gone. ~We got into the worst shit that could ever happen to us in a normal or our magical world. Jack added hesitantly trying to not make himself look weak or like some kind of a victim. He exhaled the air sharply as a chukle and then he has frozen losing himself in his muddled thoughts. There was a heavy air and the unbearable silence. Finally Mark broke it with his request: ~Aygee could you please bring meh... Before he finished he unfortunately threw up. A colorful puddle of vomit spreaded on the floor and stunk up the air. Aygee couldn't bear such polluted room and left again to feel better. "She certainly will not clean this up" was all than Jack could think about at this moment. As he saw Mark's face that turned yellow and green he asked: ~Mark, is everything OK? Jack gave Mark a pitiful look, jerked a little trying to stand up and help him out but suddenly he felt a effet gentle touch on his forearm. It was Lena gripping him delicately. The boy focused all his attention on a barely conscious girl that was trying to mutter some words. After a few incoherent speaking attempts, Jack gave her a bottle of water. She was still impaired, but despite it she managed to knock together a statement. ~You gotta help me to get to him... Lena spoke it in a stronger voice than a look on her face. ~Just stay where You lay! Mark screamed out, trying not to throw up again. ~Just a while ago there was Anti wielding your body so if now you would like to help better don't do it. You won't be able to fight off all the evil that is left inside you ~Maybe I will be of some use, huh? Jack stood up and came to Mark. He placed his hand over Mark's shoulder and began to think about positive things and imagined the sick man healed, content, full of energy with a wide smile on his face. He focused so hard that he had a look on his face like he was constipated which made Mark smirk. There was nothing happening for a few minutes and then Jack decided to start purring as if he was meditating. When Aygee heard those funny sounds she came back and everyone began to chuckle. Jack was almost out of his patience but was determined for it to work. Finally the room was repleted with green rays of light that affected not only Mark but the females also felt it. It was a tingling sensation that was flowing like a electricity up and down their spines. Everyone was astonished and surprised. Lena started to think that something has hitten Jack's head a little too hard and a man gone completely crazy. Mark didn't felt about it differently but all he added through his amazement was: ~Whoa. How did You know it would work? The injured man began to slowly stand up, but he still wasn't sure if the dizziness was over. ~Yeah, whoa... But y'know what.. I think that I need some sleep now. I will think of some spell but a bit later.. Lena yawned very loudly. ~In the middle cabinet there's my grandma's food. She crawled onto the bed, covered herself with sheets, closed her eyes and fell asleep almost immediately. ~Well if it's the gradma's food then I must taste it's deliciousness . Aygee disappeared at the kitchen's doorstep. After a while the boys heard the stove and oven working. ~Okey we all need to gather our strenght. Let's eat and let the poor Lena sleep it off. Mark gripped Jack hardly by his shoulder and they went to the kitchen. To Be Continued...  Well 8 chapter and I think that nobody really read this so far.  Maybe I should stop it.  Why I even write this....  I don’t know i have 5 more chapters but i don’t know should I realise it... 

[fae-fucker]

Crown of Midnight: Chapter 1-2

Fuck you.

Fuck me.

Fuck this.

Let’s do this.

Chapter 1

We open on Sardines being all assassin-y (took you long enough, you silly blond bitch) and sneaking into some nobleman’s house.

Concealed beneath a black mask and hood, she willed herself to melt into the shadows, to become nothing more than a slip of darkness.

*deep sigh*

I can’t believe I’m doing this shit again. Why do I hate myself this much?

The [servant] hadn’t noticed the wet footprints on the floorboards.

How convenient. 

Lord Nirall was no older than thirty-five, and his wife, dark haired and beautiful, slept soundly in his arms.

Gotta make sure the wife is beautiful!! What else are women good for, right?

Feminism!

Sardines wonders what this man did to offend the king so. But then she doesn’t?

It wasn’t her place to ask questions. Her job was to obey. Her freedom depended on it.

If you wanted freedom so bad, why didn’t you just escape as soon as you found the secret escape route, you dumb bitch?

Her sword slid out of its sheath with barely a whine. She took a shuddering breath, bracing herself for what would come next.

I can’t believe it’s only chapter one and I already have to bust this one out, but damn:

Some assassin.

Chapter 2

Sardines is back in the castle delivering “Lord Nirall’s” severed head and some other goodies.

No one spoke as it bounced, a vulgar thudding of stiff and rotting flesh on marble. It rolled to a stop at the foot of the dais, milky eyes turned toward the ornate glass chandelier overhead.

Mmm, yes, Sarah! Sarah, I just LOOOOVE it when you get so edgy! Look how dark and mature your books are, Sarah! 

The king notes that he can barely recognize him because of all the cuts and slashes on his face. I’m assuming since Jammo can’t actually write a morally grey protagonist, it’s not actually Lord Nirall and Sardines has just been finding coprses that look like her victims or some shit.

Celaena gave him a crooked smile, though her throat tightened.

Yep, ok, that’s exactly what it is. 

Supposedly Sardines is supposed to be this brilliant social strategist, but as soon as somebody even slightly doubts her lies, she just flips her shit and starts getting nervous. 

Some MASTER MANIPULATOR. 

She extended the hand to Chaol, whose bronze eyes were distant as he took it from her and offered it to the king. The king’s lip curled, but he pried the ring off the stiff finger.

Why didn’t you just ... bring the ring. Without any hands.

Is it just to make it more gruesome, Jammo? Is that what it is? You realize it just makes it dumber, yes? 

And why aren’t these chunks of rotting flesh filled with maggots? Would that just be too icky, Jammo? You can only handle Hollywood edginess? PG-13 edginess?

“What of his wife?” the king demanded, turning the ring over in his fingers again and again.

“Chained to what’s left of her husband at the bottom of the sea,” Celaena replied with a wicked grin, and removed the slender, pale hand from her sack.

Why did the king even have to ask this? Didn’t he give the order? Did he just say “uuuhhh kill the guy” and Sardines didn’t even ask what to do with the wife? 

God, these people are so dumb.

The king mentions that there’s a rebellion brewing in Rifthold but he only has one name so far.

On [the paper] was a single name: Archer Finn. 

It took every ounce of will and sense of self-preservation to keep her shock from showing.

1) Someone teach this bitch how to pokerface. 

2) There’s just one name on the piece of paper that Chaol hands to her on the king’s order. Why couldn’t he just SAY THE GODDAMN NAME? With his mouth hole?

Whatever. Sardines recognizes Archer and mentions that he’s hot and she used to have a crush on him, so he’s probably mildly important or his death will be super tragic.

He’d been several years older, already a highly sought-after courtesan … who was in need of some training on how to protect himself from his rather jealous clients. And their husbands.

Uuh ... bonus points for male courtesans, I guess? 

He’d been handsome and kind and jovial, not a traitor to the crown so dangerous that the king would want him dead. 

It was absurd. Whoever was giving the king his information was a damned idiot.

Sardines, the smartest being in this world: UUUUHHH THIS DOESN’T MATCH THE THINGS I KNOW!!! EVERYBODY ELSE IS WRONG!!!

Though that’s probably true, since we all know Smaas could never handle Sardines being anything but absolute perfection. 

“You know Archer? I’m not surprised.” A taunt—a challenge. 

She just stared ahead, willing herself to calm, to breathe. “I used to. He’s an extraordinarily wellguarded man. I’ll need time to get past his defenses.” So carefully said, so casually phrased.

If you say so, curiously crusted book page. I mean it’s an obvious and rather clichéd attempt at making more time for herself, but I guess the king is a dumbass and SJM can’t actually write for shit, so this passes for cleverness. 

It works, too. The king, who’s supposedly a shitty dictator who’s afraid of this rebellion killing him, still gives her an entire month. Yeah, that makes sense. Gotta love it when you have to nerf your villains because your hero is a fucking imbecile. 

Honey, king-boy, the correct response here is: “BITCH, MY ACTUAL LIFE IS ON THE LINE, YOU HAVE TWO DAYS, GET!! ON!! IT!!”

It’s especially stupid when this is happening IN THE TOWN THEY LIVE IN. So the fact that this dumbass lie works is just pathetic, honestly.

“Then you have one month,” the king said. “And if he’s not buried by then, perhaps I shall reconsider your position, girl.”

Wow. Damn. SJM, be nicer to your heroes. We’re on the edge of our seats here. How will they possibly defeat this very intimidating villain.

“Be discreet. Your payment for Nirall is already in your chambers.”

1) Do you really have to tell your stealthy assassin to be discreet? Well, I guess since it’s Sardines, you kinda do. What a nice self-roast there, book.

2) Do you also have to tell her that her payment’s in the chambers? Hasn’t she done this a couple of times already? Shouldn’t she know this?

Smaas, why.

We switch POV to Doriass, who angsts about how edgy and evil Sardines is now and how she maybe doesn’t actually love him and manipulated him to love her!

Yeah, she’s not that smart, Doriass.

Actually, for the two months since she’d been named the King’s Champion, she’d been like this. Her lovely dresses and ornate clothes were gone, replaced by an unforgiving, close-cut black tunic and pants, her hair pulled back in a long braid that fell into the folds of that dark cloak she was always wearing. She was a beautiful wraith—and when she looked at him, it was like she didn’t even know who he was.

1) UNFORGIVING TUNIC.

2) This is the second time she’s described as a wraith in the first two chapters. Who edited this? 

A gibbon.

But he couldn’t help wondering if he’d ever meant anything to Celaena at all.

Cry me a river with your manpain, Doriass.

We switch POV back to Sardines. (Well, that was utterly pointless.) She angsts bout how Chaol hasn’t been looking at her the same way ever since she started with the murder and stuff, and she meets with him in the secret passages of the castle or what-the-fuck-ever-who-gives-a-damn.

“Are you still acting like the King’s Champion, or are you back to being Celaena?” In the torchlight, his bronze eyes glittered.

This is the second time his eyes are described as bronze in this chapter. 

I have a feeling that this book was created and “perfected” by a bunch of horny drunk women throwing their own shit at the walls. 

We get more of Sarah’s trademark tepid banter that the fangirls probably think is super hilarious and SASSILY FEMINIST. 

Chaol tells her that he’s been worried and thought she’d been murdered, so they hug it out.

He hadn’t held her since the day she’d learned she had officially won the competition, though the memory of that embrace often drifted into her thoughts. And as she held him now, the craving for it never to stop roared through her.

ROARED.

He tells her that she smells bad.

She hissed and shoved him, her face burning in earnest now. “Carrying around dead body parts for weeks isn’t exactly conducive to smelling nice! And maybe if I’d been given time for a bath instead of being ordered to report immediately to the king, I might have—” She stopped herself at the sight of his grin and smacked his shoulder. “Idiot.”

This is, like, AT LEAST 10 feminisms.

We get another scene change.

After a joyous Fleetfoot calmed down enough for Celaena to speak without being licked [...]

I’m gonna eat that fucking dog.

Sardines angst some more about Elena and about how ...

Fucking called it.

She’d given Lord Nirall the same choice she’d given Sir Carlin: die right then, or fake his own death and flee—flee far, and never use his given name again. So far, of the four men she’d been assigned to dispatch, all had chosen escape.

Apparently, this LE EPIC ASSASSIN saw that Sir Carlin was a cool dude and just couldn’t put a knife in his throat. She only killed BAD PEOPLE, remember? Which makes no sense, considering how shitty evil her mentor was. Why would he even allow that? Whatever.

God forbid we have an actual female anti-hero, right Smaas? You wouldn’t wanna imply your bitchy little twat princess is anything but a perfect beacon of morality.

Curiously, we don’t find out whether she saw the other men acting as kind and cutesy perfect as Sir Carlin. What if they were assholes? I wouldn’t enjoy Sardines playing god, but the fact that she did it before and doesn’t do it now makes no sense either. 

We find out that she’s been finding corpses from sick-houses to replace the dudes for the crime scenes. 

But with magic gone and those wise healers hanged or burned, people were dying in droves. Dying from stupid, once-curable illnesses.

Alright, here cometh an epic rant:

1) I can maybe buy that the king doesn’t know all of the nobles who live far away, at least not enough to recognize them by appearance. What I can’t buy is the servants not recognizing their masters. That’s just plain dumb. Even if she fucked up their faces or cut their heads off, they’r still recognize the bodies as not theirs. 

2) So, do they not have non-magical healers? Did the king know that the world needed magic to survive and that they had no non-magical medicine and still went “nah, just kill them all”. We never really find out if the king truly killed magic of if it went away, so like ??? What’s the truth here?

3) If they have no non-magical healthcare, WHY THE FUCK DOES THE KING LET HER JUST BRING DEAD THINGS INTO HIS THRONE ROOM AND WHY DOES HE TOUCH THOSE DEAD THINGS. WHAT THE FUCK!!!

4) If Sardines has been stealing corpses and not actually killed any of the dudes, then her little angsty thoughts about how bad she feels about killing this man and how it’s not her job to question but to obey are nothing but misleading bullshit. It doesn’t make any sense for her to be thinking that! WHY DID SHE EVEN UNSHEATHE HER SWORD IF SHE KNEW SHE WASN’T GOING TO KILL HIM?! HE’S MENTIONED TO OPEN HIS EYES SO HE’D JUST SCREAM AND FREAK OUT AND CALL ATTENTION TO HER!!

SJM why. 

Celaena fought a shudder. She was playing a very, very lethal game. And now that her targets were people in Rifthold—now that it was Archer … She’d have to find a way to play it better. Because if the king ever learned the truth, if he found out what she was doing … 

He’d destroy her.

God, I fucking hope.

It’s only been two chapters and I’m already tired.

[captainschmoe]

I Will Survive [Beta] - Chapter 3: Caught Ya Napping

[A/N: Not much to say about this one other than I’m pleased with how smoothly the writing went. ^^]

[Summary: In which Sean tries to record Bio Inc. again and then gets interrupted by Ma- ahem, “Mark.”]

[Previous - Next]

Jack,

I know you probably don’t expect me to say this, but I believe you. I trust that you and Signe wouldn’t make this shit up, and really, it’s too weird to be a coincidence. If I see anything suspicious or out of the ordinary on my end, I’ll be sure to let you know. I also promise not to tell anyone about this, unless you tell me otherwise.

However, I don’t think there’s anything I, or you, or anyone can do about it right now. There really isn’t enough information (at least from what you’ve told me) to go by. And if it is supernatural, I don’t think we can really stop it. Or if we can, I don’t know how.

Again, thank you for trusting me. Be safe.

-Robin

Well, that was a pleasant surprise to find between games. Sean honestly didn’t think that Robin would be this calm about it. Then again, it was all in writing. Who knows what faces he made as he read the email.

It was exactly Sean’s concerns, though: not enough information. Too many questions and no answers to go with them. Is it related to the Anti stuff? Is it supernatural? Will it happen again?

Sean was becoming as much frustrated as scared. Of course he didn’t want more shit to happen. He didn’t want anyone to worry, or be in danger. But fuck’s sake! He wouldn’t die happy unless he got to the bottom of this, he just knew it.

Bio Inc. If he tried Bio Inc. again, he might get and answer. He’ll do his second game right now, and then go through Bio Inc. after that. That would be the plan - that would have been the plan regardless. Bio Inc. may have to come out slightly later than anticipated. That was fine; he could find some way to pass it off as all part of the plan. He could incorporate that into the game and Anti’s monologue or something.

Grrrrr...

Whoa. God damn. First things first: get some food to make his stomach happy. It didn’t seem to want anything in particular. Maybe it would change its mind once it saw the contents of the kitchen. Something quick and easy. That was all his brain was in the mood for, anyway.

As he passed through the living room, he spotted Signe lying on the sofa, face towards the back. Sound asleep, as evidence by some light snoring. Sean chuckled to himself. That wasn’t quite the level of “taking it easy” he was thinking of, but whatever works for her. Whatever helped her relax and recover from seeing whatever demonic monstrosity she saw - that’s all Sean cared about. Maybe he’d even spread a blanket over her. She got cold pretty easily.

You know what? I’m gonna do that.

It was a lot of back-and-forth trips through the house - but hey, it was exercise. Back up to the bedroom - with the sandwich he threw together. He set it down temporarily on the nightstand and grabbed one of the blankets off the bed, the really soft and fluffy one. Her favorite. Sean brought it back out to the living room, paying attention to and minimizing the sound of his footsteps this time. He waved it over Signe and let it fall. The blanket gently drifted down to cover her, minus her feet. Didn’t even faze her, though Sean wouldn’t bother trying to mess with it too much for fear of waking her up. Whatever, it was fine; she’d mess it all up herself in her sleep anyway.

He couldn’t resist the temptation to press a kiss to the back of Signe’s head. She fidgeted a little, yanking some of the blanket closer to her face. Called it.

This was it. This time, he made it through. Nothing had happened. No nightmare. Just Jack and ze good doctah having a bad time, all as originally planned. Now Sean just had to tackle Anti’s segment. He supposed it wasn’t too late for anything bad to happen. If it was somehow tied to Anti, this would be the moment for it to happen.

...No time to be thinking about that.

Sean fluffed up his hair in the bathroom mirror, trying to nail the look he wanted. Damn it, this still looked a little too soft. He spritzed some water into his hand and combed his fingers through. There. A little better, a little rattier. Throat “sliced,” gauges in, he was set to go. And the knife. He was using a newer, bigger one this time around. He could envision his reflection in the wide, stainless-steel blade. Heh heh... No wonder everyone got so hyped about him. Sean did, too. Running his fingertips along the edge thrilled him. So in-character. Maybe a little too in-character.

But these kinds of characters were so much fun!

“Guess who’s back, back again,” Sean softly sang to himself as he walked down the hall. “Anti’s back, everyone knows already.” He laughed. Ah, the theorists. Nothing escaped their collective eagle eye for more than half a second. But then again, how easy was it to hide from 16 million people and counting on the Internet?

Back in his office, Sean stood in the middle of the room, in front of his camera. What should he even say? He still had to pin down exactly what kind of mood he wanted for the scene. Something a tad more aggressive. Something threatening. Something that showed he really wasn’t fucking around this time.

“Well look who’s back!” He gritted his teeth in his best “psychotic” smile, and the classic evil giggle willed itself through. “You all thought you had him back. But this...” He dragged the dull side of the blade across his throat. “...will never end!” The tip poked him as he finished speaking. “Ow. That actually kinda hurt.” He laughed at himself. Can’t get through an Anti video without hurting himself in some way, whether burning his arms on candles or outright stabbing himself. Jeez.

“Well, I hope you’re happy...” He already used that line before. Was that all right? “I do,” he continued, breaking character. “I do hope you’re happy. Anti hopes you’re happy. He may be a character, but he’s got a good heart. He wants you all to feel spe-”

Buzz.

“Agh. Shut up, phone!” Good thing he didn’t have to do all the lines in one shot. Whatever. At least it was bugging him during a line that was meant for the outtakes. “Who’s texting me? ...Fucking Mark. The hell does he want?”

Sean predicted it was probably something stupid.

Though jokes on you jack :P wasn’t exactly the kind of stupid he was thinking of.

“The fuck?”

What the fuck did that mean? Couldn’t have been a wrong number due to the “Jack” at the end. Unless he sent some other message earlier and it just got eaten or something? Yeah, that was probably it. Or something like it.

Sean wouldn’t get the chance to ask any questions or get any answers, as the phone buzzed again in his hand, startling him. Another one from Mark. This one was an image-

“Jesus Christ!”

Thud. Somehow the phone resisted breaking against the desk.

Sean instinctively backed against the wall, hands balled up into fists and pressed against the sides of his head. “Oh my God... What the fuck?” Morbid curiosity urged him to check again, to make sure he wasn’t freaking out for no reason. But his legs didn’t want to take him anywhere but far away. As far away from that phone as he could possibly get.

He took several deep, calming breaths, overriding the paralysis and slowly walking back towards the spot on the floor where the phone landed. It wasn’t going to hurt him. Was it? Only one way to find out.

He picked it up again, feeling a burst of vertigo from bending over. His eye twitched like mad again, and he started feeling uneasy in his gut. Good God, it was getting worse. Everything was getting worse. Why was he suddenly this sick? Either that was one hell of a sandwich, or...

What the fuck was happening?

Sean managed to tap Mark’s name despite the visible tremble in his thumb. No, he wasn’t seeing things. It was definitely Mark’s blackened body - exactly what Signe described happened to Sean while he was navigating the nightmare. Mark’s mouth was gaping open as well, and his limbs were splayed out. He was definitely outside on the grass, near a building wall - most likely his house.

The unease in Sean’s stomach transitioned into all-out nausea.

Somehow, it was even more unnerving than waking up in the nightmare himself. Something about this hell happening to someone else was so much more terrifying. Perhaps it was the lack of control. The inability to communicate to Mark how to get out. The not knowing if he would be in the mindset to experiment around with the dot-ghost the same way Sean did - or the luck to land near it and find it at all. Now he fully understood Signe’s breakdown earlier.

Should he wake her up and tell her? She hadn’t come up to his office despite the obviously-unnatural screaming. This would be important for her to know, Sean felt, and yet what a rude fucking wake-up call. At the very least, he could tell Robin. He had to. He would. Right now.

Robin its happening again. But now its Mark. Got the freakiest fucking text from him. Pretty sure its not him.

Sent. Now he had to wait. Oh God, now there was nothing to distract him from his upset stomach. Don’t puke, don’t puke, don’t puke... Deep breaths. Willpower. His eye still twitched periodically. Come to think of it, he’d made Jack have nausea at least twice now in response to Anti. That and the eye twitching...

Holy fuck. Maybe it was somehow...

Buzz. Robin’s response couldn’t have come too soon. Sean opened it up.

What? Is he okay? Can you text him back?

Text him back? Really? Would that work?

I’ll try.

Sean switched over to “Mark.” Who the fuck are you???

The stomach upset was growing. He was confident puking was inevitable.

A buzz surprised him. From “Mark.”

someone who doesn’t like being mocked

Sean switched back to Robin. Hey got a response back from him surprisingly. Will send you screenshots later.

ok

“Mark” sent another one on his own. u feelin ok jack? ur not actin like urself

Sean wasn’t going to fuck around with this. Just cut to the chase. Are you Anti?

what do u think ;)

Where’s Mark?

i think u kno lol

Man, Anti was even more of a fucking asshole than Sean envisioned him. Why Mark? What did he do?

hes guilty as u r

What, the Dark vs Anti thing?

wow ur slow...

God fucking dammit. So Anti wasn’t a fan of that video. Figures. But that wasn’t seriously the reason he was-

Sean started salivating. Fuck. He shoved the phone into his pocket and bolted for the bathroom, and just so happened to encounter Signe, awake and apparently heading the same direction.

“Hold on, Signe, gonna puke.”

“Sean?”

He slammed the door shut, a little harder than he probably should have. The phone buzzed one more time as he knelt over the toilet. He pulled it out of his pocket.

just try to save him

Sean lost it.

[sage-nebula]

I’ve been taking a lot of screenshots as I’ve played through Splatoon 2, but I’ve neglected to upload them because it’s difficult to stop playing long enough to do so (whoops). However, I’m going to do so now in order to get caught up, and hopefully be better about posting screencaps of cool things in the future.

So, first, as per usual, the game starts off with a broadcast. In Splatoon, the Squid Sisters were the ones who always handled the broadcasts. But now, in the sequel---and I have little doubt this has a lot to do with the story mode, as well as just wanting to introduce new characters (and it wouldn’t surprise me if Marina being Octarian played into it), the broadcasts are handled by a pop duo known as Off the Hook, starring Pearl and Marina.

Anyway, the introductory broadcast to the game introduces the single-player campaign, of course, and I love how Pearl references the fact that the Octarians stealing the Great Zapfish is the exact same plot from the first game’s single-player campaign. However . . .

. . . there is a twist this time around, since Callie is “missing” as well. Hmmm . . .

Pearl gets over it pretty quickly, though, lmao. (And really, the fact that Pearl doesn’t care about the Great Zapfish is, I feel, another clue that Inkopolis doesn’t necessarily need it, at least not more than the Octarians might . . .)

Once the broadcast ends, the game decides to show you all the different features of Inkopolis Square, just in case you’re not bright enough to explore the place yourself. In so doing, it introduces the new Salmon Run part of the game . . .

I love how they keep hammering home that this is sketchy and shady and not that great, hahaha. That said, I get the feeling that the Salmonids, like the Octarians, are more victims than villains, despite how they’re being painted. I especially feel that way in this case, since we’re stealing their eggs for some sketchy dude’s profit. :/ Man . . .

Rude af. I can’t believe I have to already have a job and work experience to get a job to get work experience in Splatoon 2 as well. Art imitates life.

When you have more experience you can work, though, and like I said, I really love how they keep hammering home that this is not a good job, you are making a poor life choice.

Inklings can’t swim, though. Tf are you trying to say to me?

Anyway, after I did Salmon Run a couple of times, I went and played some (more) multiplayer, and . . .

I tried, OK. I did my best. I have no regrets. (Especially since I scored more points than anyone on the winning team, because remember: The winning team gets an extra 1000 points. The highest score anyone on the winning team had before the bonus was 729. I was better than that. Sadly, with two teammates disconnecting partway trhough the match, there was not a whole lot I could do . . .)

tfw you win a match by .3%.

And once again, I was the highest scoring person on my team, even if the highest scorer on the losing team had a slightly better score than I did. (Only slightly, though.) I’m still not as consistently good as I was in the first game, but I’m getting there. Once I have better gear / better weapons, I’m sure I’ll be back on top form, especially once I get used to all the new maps. (Though they better add Kelp Dome in an update at some point or so help me . . .)

Anyway, it soon became time for some story mode / single-player campaign playthrough, and once I realized I could unlock Hero Dualies this way, that’s all I’ve been doing. That said . . .

THERE SHE IS---THE BEST GIRL, THE SUPERIOR SQUID SISTER, MY LOVELY MARIE. ♥

When you go to talk to her, Marie explains about how she wants to go get the Great Zapfish back from the Octarians after they stole it, but that she can’t leave her post because that would mean leaving it defenseless, and so she needs someone else to go get it back and thinks you’d be perfect for the job. She also drops not-subtle hints about Callie, but those, I think, were supposed to be under her breath or in her inner thoughts. Regardless, she recruits you as Agent 4 (Callie was Agent 1, Marie is Agent 2, and you were Agent 3 in the first game) and sends you to go fight the Octarians. You may remember that I mentioned in an earlier post about how Marie is particularly savage toward the Octarians, and, well---

I was not kidding.

This really leads me to believe that Marie thinks that the Octarians kidnapped Callie as well as the Great Zapfish. Of course, I now think that Callie took the Great Zapfish when she defected to the Octarians, but Marie doesn’t seem to know / realize that’s what happened.

Rude af. I am Agent 3! (I can’t believe it’s already been two years since the first game came out, though, omfg.)

I can’t believe Marie betrayed me like this. (I looked it up and apparently the pineapple pizza debate was a Splatfest topic in the EU for the first game, and Marie was anti-pineapple, and they won . . . but I still feel so betrayed she’d take that stance in the first place. How could you Marie? I know you’ve betrayed me other times, with other Splatfest topics (the Red Version vs. Blue Version debate comes to mind---Callie was right there, too, and you know it), but still!

The win screen for whenever you clear a level is really cute, though.

. . . as is the screen when you clear it for the second time and rescue a Zapfish plushie instead, hahaha.

I can’t believe they dragged Spyke like this. (This is from the book you fill in as you find the pages in the levels. They’re similar to the sea scrolls from the first game, but are more current. ... Pun not intended.)

SHE’S INVESTED IN ME. ♥ Ily, Marie, even if you don’t know what good pizza is.

mfw:

YES, YES IT WAS. (I’m sorry, no offense to Off the Hook, but their catchphrase is just so stupid . . .)

Anyway, at the end of every section you have a boss battle, and there are wireless transmissions at the end of each boss battle. And at the end of the second boss battle . . .

HMMM, I WONDER . . .

I have the same reaction whenever Sheldon starts talking, tbh.

This was the second time I was forced to use a godforsaken charger in one of the maps, and I just

UNFORTUNATELY, despite it being a “request”, you don’t have the option to say no. You have to play through the level with the assigned weapon at least once. I already complained about this enough yesterday, so I won’t do it again, but god, I hate it so much, particularly since it means I have to play through most levels twice since you have to clear every level with your desired Hero weapon in order to unlock it for multiplayer, and I want the Hero Dualies. Ugh.

♥

Hahaha, I didn’t grab a screenshot of it, but in an earlier level after making a particularly risky jump, she asks if I consider myself to be “the reckless type”, and that she sure does consider me to be the reckless type. I mean, I am, I won’t deny it.

I love her.

mfw:

It was for a boss fight, too. I FELT SO #BLESSED. Oh, and here was the boss:

And then I destroyed him and his sweet new coat. Sorry, bro. :/ (Oh, and if you’re wondering, he was a boss from the first game, hence why he was “back”.)

But since this was a boss, that means that we had a post-battle wireless transmission, so . . .

She loves Callie so much. ;__; And I say this, because look at the word choice: “Even more than the Great Zapfish, I want to find my cousin Callie.” Marie is sending Agent Four after the Great Zapfish because she views it as a duty. This is a necessity, it’s something (and anyone she can recruit to help) must due because Inkopolis (supposedly) needs it. But she wants to find Callie, and she wants to find Callie even more than the Great Zapfish. Callie means that much to her. Callie is her best friend. Biologically, Callie might be her cousin, but in her heart, Callie is her sister. And something tells me she’s going to be in for a lot of emotional pain when she learns the truth . . . poor, poor Marie. ;__;

Anyway, she goes on to explain about how she’s Agent 2 and Callie was Agent 1, and---

OH, so THAT’S the excuse for why your inkling from the first game is just mysteriously out of the picture, haha. Though that begs the question . . . what is your inkling from the first game doing with Cap’n Cuttlefish? Why is your inkling from the first game with Cap’n Cuttlefish? Things aren’t safe with him! He’s not wise! He gets captured because he’s distracted by crabby cakes! Like, bruh! Have some sense!!

Anyway, then the transmission was interrupted again---

HMMM, I WONDER WHO IT COULD POSSIBLY BE . . . :/

I mean, I guess there’s still a chance that Callie hasn’t defected. Maybe she’s telling Marie to leave because she’s worried Marie will get hurt, or maybe she was kidnapped and is now brainwashed. Her eyes are red in that icon, after all (but so are the Octolings’, so that could just be because of some fancy goggles). Either way, that’s very obviously Callie, and if she’s helping the Octarians decorate their bases, something tells me she isn’t here unwillingly. Right now, I’m sticking by the theory that she is the one who stole the Great Zapfish (and all the other Zapfish) for the benefit of the Octarians, and that she has defected willingly because she has come to see that they aren’t all evil and that peace should be made between the two races. (Though why she isn’t working to actually make that peace doesn’t make sense. You’d think she’d come forward and talk to Marie (and Cap’n Cuttlefish) about it, rather than letting Marie think she had been kidnapped and is in serious danger, but . . . well. The plot has to happen some way, I guess.)

Anyway, I’ll post more as I can get to it. Stay tuned, and as always . . . stay fresh. ;D

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

I saw:

The Empire Strikes Back- 

SPOILERS! Because what the heck..

The opening crawl updates us with what are gang are up to, clearly written by someone with an agenda since it says the rebel fighters are led by Luke Skywalker and he’s anything but. Oh sure, he’s got a bit more rank but clearly a general is in charge and Leia is giving orders. Face it, Luke is still basically  just  a celebrity soldier. 

Which, considering the way things are going at least keeps him from being blamed for all the problems. I mean, they are scanning this new hide out planet for life forms and seconds after announcing he hadn’t picked up any readings he gets attacked by the abominable snowman! Ok, wampa.. He gets hauled off either to be a munchy and crunchy or the critter just wants to hug him and squeeze him and call him George. Since none of the skeletons in the cave are Bugs Bunny sized it’s hard ti say, but the bones do indicate whoever sold the rebels the scanning devices clearly scammed them!

Anyway, Luke does survive, thanks to magical mumbo jumbo and Han tucking him into a nice warm fur wrap. Ok, the wrap was a wee bit wet on the inside since Han’s not really got the hang of skinning, etc a caracas and  just shoves the boy into the bloody mess. Great while it’s warm, but once it’s cool we have a nice soaked hypothermic. But at least Han gets a break from hearing the kid muttering about his dead me tor turned imaginary friend. 

So after an undoubtedly super adorable reunion between BFFs Han and Chewie...that we don’t get to see...the guys encounter one of the coolest of droids, all appendages like an octopus floating over the snow. Unfortunately this droid was only there to call in the Nazi wannabe Empire. Oh no! This means fighting!

As the attack occurs our heroes split up. Luke steals a valuable bit of Rebellion equipment and abducts poor little R2D2 so he can go on vacation and work on his abs at a vegetation lush resort run by some sort of very short guru type. He gets a lot of fortune cookie advice like “Do or do not, there is no try” which sounds like a good excuse not to attempt anything you have doubts about working. And believe me, just thinking you can do something does not mean you won’t fail. But whatever, Luke is really into this cult if the Jedi, so much so he doesn’t pay any mind to the fact that R2 is stick out in the rain and probably rusting!

But C-3PO has it worse! He esapes with Leia, Han and Chewie,which is good. And bad. No body listens to him as he warns them the ship can’t go into hyperdrive. No body listens to him when he warns them about the dangers of diving head long into an asteroid field. And while they hide out in a cave that’s actually a hungry, hungry giant space worm he is stuck observing Leia and Han enacting the traditional “hate you/kissy kissy behavior”. He takes a bit flak as the verbal punching bag for their frustrations. The fact he is a droid and NOT human, with no way of getting the subtleties mating rituals  and blame the messenger sarcasim seems unfair, but this trip just gets worse. Once they reach the perceived sanctuary offered by Han’s friend Lando C- 3PO gets blown apart! While he gets put back together he gets little sympathy for his suffering, what with droids, while clearly sentient beings of high intellegence and deep feeling, are slaves in this univers. Bought, sold, and restraining bolts commonly used. 

You know, as a little girl I thought the Rebellion were good guys because they were full of non-humans and assumed that the droids would all be freed as a result of the rebels defeating the Empire. Did you see any non-humans in authority in the Empire? Nope. So of course they were human supremists with only enslaved droids. But I dunno now. I was probably projecting my own version of good and evil.

Where was I?

Cloud City offers the occupants of the Millenium Falcon, well at least the ones on one peice, a chance to relax in bright airy architecture. Leia gets a lovely outfit and hairstyle I’ll go to my grave envious of, though she doesn’t keep it long. They get offered a meal, but thanks to the guest of honor at the dinner being Darth Vader I dunno if anyone got anything to eat. Probably just as well, because torture sessions on a full stomach might get messy. The psychic screaming gets Luke’s attention. He wants to go to the rescue, despite the fact his green guru and ghostly mentor moan at him that he should just let his friends die because if he goes Vader would kick his novice ass. This is clearly untrue since he does go and all is not list as a result, just an easily replacable (in their universe) hand. 

You know, the real reason they don’t want to let him go is ‘cause they realize Darth Vader is actually a seriously dark daddy. As in Luke’s father that they keep neglecting to tell him about, or at least the truth about. Since it’s much better to have it sprung at him ar a properly dramatic moment. Interesting nobody seems to give much of a damn about Leia, Luke’s twin sister for crying out loud! Vader had personally tortured her and spent more time around her than any of our other chracters yet he never noticed she was his kid. So much for the force sensing things! Maybe Luke would have avoided Vader’s notice if some idiot hadn’t given him Vader’s real last name, sent him to live on Vader’s orginal home world and hidden him with Vader’s relatives! Yeah, yeah, Yoda says “There is another” but since he was willing to let her die rather than risk the boy,  I somehow don’t think our Jedi master and ghostly yacker take her seriously. Jerks!

So Luke heads off with Obi Wan telling him he  won’t help in the conflict with Vader. Well duh! What help have you really been? “Run, Luke run!” When only an idiot wouldn’t have run. “Use the force!” Which means using blind faith rather than technology, that works in this anti-science science fiction world view. And when Lukes lying in the snow near death does he give him help? Nah, just the address and contact name for the swamp spa! Yeah, only a slightly dim bulb would call out to this dead guy for help when his life is in danger.

Oh, right....Luke does.

On the flight to Bespin Luke tells R2 “Just hang on, we’re almost there.” Which sounds for all the world like a parent telling a kid on a roadtrip to try to wait until they get to a bathroom. Droids should need to piss but....

Meanwhile things are much more interesting at his destination, Leia gets to watch her new boyfriend, post torture, get turned into a bit of wall art. And as she bares her soul, confessing her love as a heads to possible death, the best she gets out of him is “I know”. Typical. And she has to join forces with her boyfriend’s betrayer. I mean, she is NOT having a good day. And then after all the bother she and the others put into escaping she gets the psychic call from her brother for help. I wonder if he told her he actually called for help from a dead guy before her? 

It all ends on a cliffhanger. Will they find Han? Oh, and though nobody mentions is, will the rebels find some place to regroup and a way to defeat the overwhelmingly powerful foe. I mean, you DO remember the rebellion, don’t you??  

I love this movie. It’s fluff, which means I find it all cozy and warm. I just wrap it around me and feel better. The mucking about with the SEs did no harm here, thank goodness. I adore the film irrationally, and very, very deeply. I just mock with affection.....