#ok rant over going back to bed i literally got out of bed to rant

[anthenasikes]

for like over a year after i starting thinking about if i was aromantic i was so horrifically upset and sad and blah blah blah ohhh no the horrrors i’m never gonna date anybody ever bro oh mo i’m so depressed about it. i was like . im never gonna date anybody and that is so terrible (i didn’t actually even want to date anybody and somehow that never occurred to me so i continued wallowing in despair or whatever) and now it’s been way way wayyyy more than a year and im like. im so aro im the aro ever thats literally the best thing ever fr. I look at every allo person around me and im like Wow! Thank Fucking God. Holy fuck rhank god i’m aro

[scriblubed-bonnibel]

Super Blind

Close friends to lovers | Jordan Li x (gn)reader

Reader will use they/them pronouns as well (lets go nonbinaries woooh <3) Just some oneshot I’ve been brain rotting about while scrolling through tumblr.

Summary: Jordan and y/n have been flirting every now and then but can’t seem to confess. One day they just… do.

Context: reader has powers that affect their emotions. Be it taking them from others, making them feel emotions, just reading their emotions, and sometimes they can even exude their emotions; having others feel it when closer to the reader.

Warnings: bad language, cute moments, kissing

If you aren’t ok with the whole “switching between masc and fem” thing then feel free to click off (tho i doubt it cause ure reading a Jordan Li fic so yeah)

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“Emma I don’t know anymore! Jordan’s probably high fucking some- fucking dude! And I’m here lonely-“ “hey!” Emma looks at me offended, “and ranting to my best friend about my crush for like what- years now!” Emma stands up and puts her hands on my shoulders, “hey, if it’s worth anything. JORDAN TOTALLY FUCKING LIKES YOU YOU IDIOT.” She shakes me back and forth.

“You’re just saying that” I brush her off and flop on my bed. “Are you fucking kidding me?” She looks at me dumbfounded and as if I said the stupidest thing ever. “They literally gaze at you. And did you not notice the fact that uhhh you have flowers on your desk from them!” She gestures to the small flower arrangement on my desk.

“Big whoop. They got those flowers for me after I recovered from that stupid slip.” I rolled my eyes at her. “This-“ Emma trails off in frustration and face palms. “Listen, I’m just saying, Jordan, one of the top students, most probably maybe possibly has a crush on you maybe wants to even fuck you!” I laugh at her and just pull the covers over myself. “I doubt it! Now leave cause I’m pretty sure you’re late for one of your classes.”

“OH SHI-“ she’s cut off by the sound of a door slamming shut. “Loser” I laugh and close my eyes under the blanket, trying to just forget about Jordan… Jordan… Jordan… and.. y/n. Y/n and Jordan. A dreamy sigh escapes my lips as I swoon once more. Without even realizing, sleep takes over me.

Gentle knocks from my door wakes me up. “Emma for the last time my door is always open!!” I yell. “You lock your door once when she wants to visit and she just forgets it’s always open..” I grumble. The door opens slowly. “Y/n..?” Jordan’s voice calls out.

wait

Jordan’s. Voice? Their. Voice? Panic shoots through me as I sit up in distress. “Jordan-“ i cough quickly to try to sound less panicked, “uh- ahem Jordan! Hey, hi! DONT COME IN- I’m- my room is a mess-“ I look around and see the door still cracked a little bit. “Not- not looking! Just wanted you to know it’s me!” They say, laughing softly… I sigh again… their laugh- FIX YOUR ROOM AND YOURSELF GET IT TOGETHER.

I run to the full body mirror and fix myself up. Taming my bedhead, adjusting my sleeping shirt and shorts, making sure I look normal but also… maybe a tiny little bit cute. I fix up the random clutter on the floor and spray a little bit of cologne everywhere.

I get to the door and put my hand on my heart to sorta calm down. Okay… one.. two.. three and-

There is no denying how stupidly in love I looked the moment I opened the door to see them in their feminine. Eyes softened, lips in a content smile, and sighing dreamily. “Hi~” I breathed out, still swooning. They dont help my case at all when they smirk and look at me in a similar manner. “Hi…” they trail off, blinking a few times before getting both of us out of our trance.

“Sorry for uhh the whole emotion wafting off of me. Still learning how to control it.” I laugh awkwardly. They wave their hand in a ‘nah dont worry’ motion, “Y/n you know I dont mind that at all. We’re all learning.” We both smile briefly, “so, whatcha doing here?” I open the door wider and sit on my bed. They enter, closing the door behind them, and sit next to me. “I uhh honestly…” I wasn’t looking at them, too busy fiddling with my hands, but I heard them change into their masculine form. “I was just around.. and wanted to hang with you…” ‘hang out.. with me?’ I thought before I looked at them.

They were.. already looking at me. A blush slowly crept up on my face as I internally panicked, replying to cover up my distress. “Uhh yeah sure, we could invite Cate for a girls time, or maybe have Emma ditch for I dont know-” I get cut off “why not just us?” They ask, shrugging nonchalantly. “Just us?” I repeat. “Y’know… just Y/n and Jordan. Just us.” Their gaze is turned away for some reason.. “I MEAN- if you don’t want to then yeah of course Kate could come arou-” they began to ramble but I touch their hand gently, focusing on calming their emotions down.

“I would like that” I smile. “Yeah..? Like a date right that’s what I’m trying to invite you to” they clarify, their emotions wafting to me… infatuation, swooning, happiness… ‘they’re happy…’. I smile and nod happily.

They stand up and offer their hand, then an uncertainty surfaces on their face. “Uhm… do you want feminine or masculine..?” They ask still in their masculine form. “Are you shitting me? How many times do I have to say this. Anything is fine as long as it’s what you want and what you feel like.” I smile up at them and stand from the bed to give them a quick hug. I hear them changing into their feminine form/nothing change as they decide to remain in their masculine form and push them to face away from me. I smile, feeling more comfortable with them again, dropping the whole “in love with you” deal and being my authentic self.

“Now don’t fucking peak, lemme just change clothes.” I said as I looked at my closet. “Where’re we going again?”

Jordan’s POV

‘I cannot fucking believe they said yes- I mean I know Kate said they liked me but I was still unsure-‘ “Jordan!!! Helloooo?” I’m snapped out of my thoughts when Y/n shakes me from behind. “Earth to Jordannn, where are you taking meeeeee.” I chuckle at their antics, “just dress casual, we aren’t going to the fucking gala or something.” I laugh and I hear shuffling behind me. Tempted… I turn slowly- “not a fucking peep Jordan Li.” They say sternly. I laugh and put my hands up in defense “alright alright.”

Moments pass and I feel two taps on my shoulder. I turn and smile at them. Wearing such comfy yet cute clothes to our first date. Our first date. Damn.

Reader’s POV

Walking around with Jordan Li was normal. We would do this from time to time whenever stress got to us. But this was different. This was a fucking date. Like, hand brushing against each other, got coffee or tea kinda fucking date.

We decided to walk around campus, much to the distaste of Jordan. “You are sooo fucking lucky I put up with your goody-two-shoes behavior” they tell me, squinting playfully at me. “I am very lucky thank you.” I respond to spite them. They smile and shake their head.

We walk in comforting silence. It’s so strange how the context of a walk can change the whole way it feels. Normally we would just walk casually and we would talk about anything and everything. Shoving each other, being just friends. But now… it feels so… pure? I guess… like puppy love. Jordan taking glances at me and I would do the same. Whenever we meet eyes they’d chuckle as I look away shyly. They’re just… too sweet.

“Are you enjoying?”

I look up in surprise, not realizing we had stopped walking. “Yeah of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked, worried I had done something wrong. “Just making sure, that’s all. Cause I wouldn’t want to be the only one enjoying our date” they smile at me sweetly. A worry forms in my stomach when my brain starts to go on hyperdrive. They aren’t… joking about this right…? My walls start building as I worry that Jordan was just put up to this for a stupid fucking prank.

Jordan takes my hand in worry, shifting to their masculine form. A tendency they did when they were worried about me. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did I say something?” I pull my hand back slowly. “You aren’t.. doing this for a dare right.. cause- cause I know I’m not that good at hiding my crushes but if this was a fucking joke I swear-” I’m suddenly silenced as they pull me in close for a hug. “I know Y/n. If it’s a joke, you swear you’ll make me miserable for the rest of my life.” Their chest rumbles as they chuckle. “It’s not a joke… the only thing I had help with was ask Cate to make me go to your dorm and ask you out blatantly.”

I step back a little, “you what?” I laugh incredulously. “Listen! I keep hearing rumors that you like me but I never saw it! Cate always told me that I was Super-”

“Blind?” I finish their sentence. “Yeah, Emma told me the same thing” I shake my head and laugh in disbelief. “So… you do like me?” They ask, as they lift my chin to look into their eyes. My breath hitches and I nod quietly. “Good.. cause.. I like you too… maybe.. even more than like.” They smile and shift back to their feminine form, something they did.. when they felt comfortable with me.

Their hand on my chin slowly travelled to my cheek and soothingly rubbed it with their thumb. The blush from earlier creeps up again and I silently plead that Jordan can’t feel my face slowly heat up. They chuckle, “I never realized how cute you looked whenever you blush…” the warmth blooms past my cheeks and into my chest as the butterflies flutter more intensely. “Y/n..?” Jordan asks softly, their eyes not even trying to hide the fact that they’re looking at my lips. “Yes..?” I reply just as softly.

“Can I.. kiss you?” I stop functioning the moment they stop talking. Unable to speak I do one slow and obvious nod to say yes. “Thank you” they smile and lean in lips barely touching, as if telling me that if I wanted to back out now, now is the time. But fuck that I’m getting that kiss.

I smile and kiss them deeply, tiptoeing a little bit to wrap my arms around their neck. The smile on our lips palpable and our emotions mixing with one another as pure happiness exudes from the both of us.

We part after a moment, smiling widely. They chuckle softly. “What’s so funny? Was my breath bad- did I hit your teeth? What is it what?!” I panicked.

“Nothing nothing!” They laugh, “Just… you’re so cute… I couldn’t stop feeling your butterflies wafting off of you ever since we started the date. And well.. every time you see me.”

“And you didn’t tell me?!” I gasped and hit them playfully, they shift to their masculine form and held my hands together in front of me. “I didn’t tell you because…how could I tell the cutest person in the world,” they lean in and kiss me gently once more and whisper, “that even their emotions are cute?”

This person will be the end of me… and I love it.

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EEEE I’m so glad I got to finish this cksndjsz my brain cannot for the love of me stop thinking about Jordan. THEY’RE JUST SO CISJDJSZJ C U T E.

Anyways, feel free to give comments on how I can improve ! And ofc I hope you enjoyed ♡

Edit: holy f u c k- Im v surprised this is getting 300 notes 😭 im very glad people are enjoying !! College is just biting my ass but I’m writing other fics from other fandoms!

Take care always!

[jester089]

I HEARD YOU DO HELLUVA BOSS?! BEE-ZLEBUB PLEASE ANYTHING TO DO WITH BEE OR FIZZY

Rainy Days

You didn't really ask for anything specific so I'll just write what I felt like writing. I'm not amazing at writing Helluva Boss yet so please lower your expectations before we start. Have you done it? Good. This is gonna be lazy rainy days spent indoors with the characters ie. Beelzebub, Vortex, Fizzarolli, Asmodeus. Characters are probably gonna be ooc, but I'll do my best.

Beelzebub & Vortex

Bee as everyone knows is really energetic and extroverted. She much prefers being out and about rather then at home, well when the party isn't at her home at least. Tex is more of an ambivert leaning towards extroversion. He enjoyed parties and being with people. But can also really enjoy just being at home doing something calm. And you, were the introvert of the three much preferring just relaxing at home then going out. You were rarely seen putting energy into anything and were more often then not found in your room/bed. It had been a rainy and cold week so far, not yet having a day where it didn't rain. Bee hated it cause not as many people go out when it's rainy/cold. Tex didn't really have an opinion but was torn because Bee hates it and you love it. You loved it, a lot. A perfectly good reason to be warm, lazy, and comfy at home? Watch as many shitty videos as you want. Without people judging you for staying in all day! Fuck yeah! Bee was planning on going out after sitting at home bored for over an hour. She got dressed and was just about to leave before you and Tex walked in, in cozy clothes. Tex was holding tons of heavy poofy blankets and you were holding a ton of snacks. She walked up clearly curious "Tex! Y/N! I hope you weren't planning cuddles without me. What's up? hope you two aren't planning something behind my back?" You sprinted off and into your room without responding while Tex explained "I mean we weren't really planning it, but who knows. We were gonna do a movie night while it's raining. You want in?" He leaned in now whispering "Their all hyper. It's cute. The rain gets em all energetic." Bee was going to respond before you peaked your head in telling Tex to hurry up with the blankets. "I can't get the room ready without them! Hurry up!" He walked over and handed them to you. He waited till you were in the room again before turning back to bee "Hey it's up to you if you want ta join. You know they aren't usually energetic? Well they are now. I would enjoy it while it's here. We're prepped to watch movies all night, so if you're going to join get something comfy on." He gave her a quick kiss then joined you. Bee hears you ranting about something through the wall then huffs and goes up to her room to change "Wish they told me about all this before I took 2 hours getting ready to go out." ~~~~~ You were in the middle of setting up the room bossing Tex around cause his arms are longer then yours when you heard a knock. You walk over and open the door and see Bee in a giant hoodie you got her looking comfy. You basically tackle her into a hug "You're joining us! Ok ok, hold on I have to grab more snacks. Help Tex with the room." You give her one last squeeze then run off towards the kitchen. You only grabbed the snacks you and Tex liked before, but if she's going to join then you need to grab snacks for her. I mean she's literally the embodiment of gluttony. You can't do anything with her without snacks. You grab another armful of snacks and run back to your room. When you get there it's all set up. The room looks amazing and Tex and Bee are already settled in on the floor surrounded by all kinds of soft items, pillows, blankets, your giant collection of plushies. It takes a lot of will to not tear up at the sight. Looks like heaven. Ironic as you are literally in hell. You put the snacks in bowls then get comfy with Tex and Bee. You start up the movie and turn only to turn around and see that more then half the snacks have already been eaten. You sigh and get comfy again. It's gonna be a nice night. Two people you love, the sounds and scent or the rain, a incredibly comfy pillow and blanket nest, and a shitty movie you can make fun of. Only thing you have to worry about is if you would rather have four armed cuddles from Bee. Or the strong safe hold of Tex. Hey, you can always have both.

Fizzarolli & Asmodeus

Their is actually zero chance that you plan anything with one of them without the other knowing and trying to help. So before you could get past the planning phase for a night in with Fizz, Ozzie was in the room helping you. A rainy night inside with these two would honestly be amazing. Sure Fizz is chaotic, and Ozzie is really big and kind of intimidating. But that doesn't mean that it wouldn't be lovely, movie nights with them are the best. Fizz is a jester knowing how to make unreasonably big pillows forts is something he kind of has to know. And Ozzie is wonderful and encouragement and can and will get you and Fizz any resources you need for it to turn out right. Once all is ready prepare to be stuck in the room for a long time. You were the one who started it all, but once Ozzie and Fizz are comfy and enjoying themselves you wont be allowed to leave either. It wouldn't be the same without you there. Once again you are faced with a choice (Kind of). You can choose extendable arm and legged cuddles from Fizz, he can wrap around you multiple times. Or the strong and fluffy hold from Ozzie. But being honest you don't actually have a choice. It will always end up with Fizz half wrapped around you and half around Ozzie. And Ozzie holding you two. Little warning Fizz's laugh is really obnoxious and loud. So if anyone say some kind of shitty pun he happens to find funny at the time he will just howl, and that leads to Ozzie laughing too. It adds a really lighthearted vibe to the already cozy rainy day indoor vibe. You're in for a good time, just watch Fizz or all the snacks will be gone in an instant.

[astrangergivingthestrangewelcome]

Ok I want to talk about everything leading up to Jonathan's little outburst. Imagine you're Jonathan Harker your life is looking pretty incredible what with a kickass fiance and a clear path to financial stability and then you are blindsided with two months of isolation and psychological and physical abuse. You are fed on by a vampire(s) and come so close to joining their ranks that it completely takes away your fear of a human death, and you resolutely come to believe that suicide is better than the transformation you'd undergo at the hands of the vampires. At the cost of one complete nervous breakdown you manage to cheat both types of death and escape. You're sitting there with your kickass wife like. Well I'm never gonna be the same again but I'm grateful to be alive and I will try my best to put myself together again for MIna. At least it's over. But Then It's Not. You see him leering after some girl and you know exactly exactly what's in store for her and he's back he's back he's back he's back it's not safe anymore it's not safe, but then you find out you're not alone. And that helps a lot bc you were alone and ignorant and now you have knowledge and a team. But then instead of targetting you, hurting you, claiming you, he hurts the wife you love more than yourself. And he hurts her, he violates her just like he violated you and he does it next to you. Literally in the same bed. Mina was scared she was scared like you were scared and she wanted to wake you but you didn't wake up and she was left with that sinking aloneness you lived through time after time. She might have screamed and gotten help in time, but she didn't scream because she didn't want you to be killed. You're so useless. And she got hurt worse than you, she is being forced into an active transformation while you have to sit and watch and Know in a way literally no one else, not even your new wellmeaning friends can know. And you can still save her and you throw literally everything you have into it. But the knife misses, and he escapes. And you try to go to Varna and he outsmarts you, and you go to Galatz and he's gone and Mina's changing Mina's changing and you're still not okay from May and June and you're supposed to be ready to kill your wife and suddenly you're being asked to separate and you may never see her again. And Van Helsing wants her to go. There. The place you almost died to get away from, he wants Mina there. And it's just too much it's completely unacceptable you went through so much and now everyone's headed right back to PTSD ground zero and you can't protect Mina and you open your mouth to try and shout about how viscerally wrong this is but it sounds like confused gibberish and mid rant you just kind of realize that you've never had a say in any of this. Fate will just be fate. So you back down and try not to dwell on how broken the world seems as the only thing you can do is say it's in God's Hands.

[drysdaleknieslee]

omg i need a gabe perreault fic!! it can literally be anything, i just love gabe😭😚🤍

I'm so sorry for making you wait but I'm gonna make this a cute little fluff for Gabe  :)

The longer you looked at this homework the more it made you want to throw your computer, crawl under your cover and cry.

No notes or videos could make you understand the concept for this class and the test quickly approaching didn't ease your anxiety. Your boyfriend Gabe was really good at this but he had a game tonight and the last thing you wanted to do was burden him with your problems.

But answering the same question incorrectly for what seems to be the 2000th time, you finally break down. You can't stop the tears from coming as your frustration and anxiety got the best of you. You turn to look at the clock that reads '11:45'. You forgot Gabe said he'd come over after the game. You want to get up and make yourself more presentable but your mental exhaustion makes you sit in the same spot as you heard your apartment door click.

Gabe was home. And he was going to see his girlfriend in the midst of a breakdown with puffy eyes.

"Babe I'm back! We beat the shit out of St. Cloud. How do you want to-"

He opens your door to see a mess of paper around you, face only being illuminated by your computer screen and your eyes red and cheeks puffy.

The cheerful smile he once had for his teams win is now gone thanks to your breakdown. You try to wipe the tears away quickly and put on a fake smile.

"I'm fine Gabe, tell me how the game was."

"You're not ok and don't try to change the subject. What's wrong?"

The tears start to form again and your smile falters as there's no use in hiding it now.

"I'm struggling Gabe. This homework assignment makes no sense, I've stared at this question for almost an hour and I need to know this before the test in three days! And I'm exhausted!"

As you rant, Gabe crouches next to your desk and rubs your thigh gently as the other hand stroked your hair. He urges your away from your desk and pulls you into a bear hug.

"You don't have to struggle on your own you know? Why didn't you ask me for help honey?"

"I didn't wan't to burden you."

He backs away briefly while taking your face in his hands and looks into your eyes. "Your not a burden to me. I love you and I don't want to see you this way."

He pulls you into a hug again before the water works start again.

"We'll take a nap. Neither of us have class tomorrow. When we wake up your gonna eat, drink tea, and we'll work on this assignment together. Ok?"

You sniffle before mumbling a soft "ok."

You both climb into bed with his arms surrounding you as you lay on his chest.

"I love you Gabe."

"I love you too sweet girl."

That's the last thing you heard before feeling him kiss the top of your head and you drift off to sleep with a smile on your face.

You really do have the best boyfriend in the world.

[tastybluesprite]

The introverted gamers secret weakness

I just finished this anime today! It’s soooo cute. I knew I had to write something for lee!Yamada asap because how could I not? He’s literally so precious someone protect this man😭❤️

Warnings: Contains tickling so if that’s not your thing just scroll along! :)

Summery: Akane wants to know if Yamada has any weaknesses. Luckily Eita knows him pretty well.

Normally they’d be at their own homes when playing “Forest of Savior” so Akane was surprised when Eita Sasaki had invited her over to Akito Yamadas house. Did Yamada even agree to it? If he did it seemed a bit out of character for someone like him. He seemed perfectly comfortable playing in separate spaces.

After Akane cleared things up with Eita that Yamada was ok with it, she felt more confident.

I cant believe I’ll get to see Yamada play in person she thought to herself. After getting ready, she finally headed towards his house. Eita opened the door for her.

“Akanecchi!!!”

“Rurihime!!!” She exclaimed back with excitement. “Akanecchi how exiting is this? We get to play together for real instead of just in the game! Did you bring your laptop?”

Akane nodded, “Yep!!! Right here!”

Eita led her in to Yamadas room. He was already at his desk and logged in. He turned when he heard her enter and gave a small wave, which she returned with a “Hello Yamada!”

She set up her laptop on a little table and logged into the game, along with Eita who borrowed a laptop to bring. They did some level grinding and hunting (although Yamada still wouldn’t let her hunt with him T^T). Soon they started to do some boss battles.

“Hey Yamada, Eita, want to see who can defeat the boss first?” Akane proposed, with a competitive tone in her voice. Eita grinned, “What a great idea Akanecchi!!! What do you say Yamada?”

Yamada considered it for a moment. “Alright.”

And so they began to see who could take down the bosses first. Akane tried her best, Eita was really amazing, but Yamada… well he pretty much led the whole thing. He defeated the boss within a couple minutes.

“What the heck?! Yamada how did you do that?!” Akane cried. “Are you even human?”

Eita couldn’t help but laugh, “Yamada is an extremely talented gamer he’s pretty famous for a reason.”

“I want a rematch!” Akane cried. She didn’t want to give up. She wanted to show Yamada that she could win. “Ok.” Was all he said before they dived back into another boss fight.

Sure enough he beat them all again. Leaving Akane and Eita in the dust. “Yamada seriously are you even human? That’s as a really hard boss and you beat it in only five minute at least! Do you even have a weakness??” She ranted in exasperation.

“Of course he does!” Eita told her with a smirk. Although he was faced in the opposite direction to his computer monitors, Yamada raised an eyebrow at this. What was Eita planning?

Akane however grinned. This was information she couldn’t help being curious about. “What may that be Eita?” She asked.

Eita paused for suspense. “He’s pretty ticklish. Aren’t you Akito Yamada?”

As soon as he said this they both saw Yamada flinch visibly. He seemed to be conflicted between running away and staying to continue playing. After the boss fight he merely went back to hunting.

“Wait what??? really? The stoic, quiet, and famous Yamada is ticklish?”

“Yes Akanecchi! You can try it out if you’d like.” Eita knew exactly what he was doing.

Yamada turned his head towards them “Please don’t.”

“But why not Yamada? It’s just tickling after all? You could totally handle it!” He leaned in from his spot on the floor and gave a quick poke to his side. Although faint, a hitching sound escaped his mouth.

Once he realized where this was going, he decided his safety was more important than the game. He yanked off his headset, got up from his chair, and attempted to back away from the pair. Before he could make his escape however, Eita lunged his weight at Yamada and made him fall back to his bed.

As soon as he was down Eita quickly straddled him, and began sinking his fingers into his sides, knowing he should start out easy as to not tire him out too quickly.

“W-wahait!” A slight huff of a giggle escaped as he attempted to protest. But he decided to glue his mouth shut as he grabbed Eitas wrists to try and pull his hands away.

“Awww why are you hiding your sweet adorable giggles? Don’t you want to show Akane that your not just a really cold and disconnected person? That your really a big softie at heart?” Eitas teasing nearly caused him to break, but he grew extremely red.

“Cmon Akito~ Let’s show Akanecchi~”

He suddenly began raking his fingers at Yamadas ribs roughly, and that was the breaking point.

“N-nohohoho! Plehehease!!!” He let out soft giggles. It was so adorable, Akane heart began to squeeze. His giggles were light, breathy, and even child like. It didn’t match his personality at all. “Yamada I didn’t know you could laugh like that.” She said with some shock in her voice.

“He can laugh much louder than that! Only if you get a really good spot…” He suddenly shoved his hands right passed his arms, even though they were clenched to his side, and began digging into his underarms.

Yamada didn’t expect such an intense sensation, and he let out a noise that he didn’t even know he could make. A squeal.

“E-HEheheHIHtahaha wAHAiHt!!” Now actually laughing, it was uncontrollable. He kicked his feet behind Eita.

Akane grew curious and grabbed a flying foot. She began to scribble lightly at his socked soles and he exploded into “un-Yamada-ish” laughter.

“AHAKAHANE!!!” He cried, trying to kick his feet from out of her grip. He nearly escaped it but she caught his ankle in an arm hold and kept scribbling all the more faster.

Sweet laughter that they never heard from him before until now, filled the room. As much as he squirmed around under Eita, he wouldn’t budge. Soon his laughter grew panicky and even a little tired and Eita stopped his attack, signaling Akane to stop as well.

After he got off Yamada, they watched as he lay there for a moment, his chest moving quickly as he attempted to catch his breath.

“Th-that was c-cruel….” He huffed.

“Sorry Yamada…” Akane told him. “I hope we weren’t too much.”

There was a silence. Then.

“It’s ok I guess.” He then simply got up and walked back to his desk, resuming his game like nothing happened. Akane thought he was likely mad, but she noticed as he was headed to his game chair, that he had a slightly more relaxed and refreshed expression on his face. She could tell Eita noticed also and they both grinned at one another.

[quinloki]

Hahaha jokes on you for saying people are qualified to speak to you bc now I’m even more encouraged to send you my thoughts

Jk. But I appreciate your acceptance of them. I’m currently trying to bully my IRL bestie to hurry tf up on getting thru one piece bc right now my options are limited like she’s in enies lobby now and I’m like pls… at least get to post time skip… I can scream about Law and Marco then

Omg ok so it’s peak squirrel brain hours for me rn so lemme try to tell you about this brainrot I’ve been having.

I literally have no idea where it came from but modern au, you’re a patron at thatch’s bar, you go there often and are friendly with thatch bc he’s a nice guy. Friends with Luffy. You go to said bar, having a great time with your friends, whitebeard crew shows up bc it’s thatch’s place obvi, but some other crew busts in trying to pick a fight. Somehow you get yoinked as a hostage bc the other crew wants to fight somewhere else (a trap duh) and it’s not a situation where they can get you out safe so they’re like yes we’ll fight you at this location but Marco is like I wanna come too, prolly cause he feels responsible maybe you were by the whitebeard crew bc you were luffy’s friend or you were flirting with Marco and that’s why you got snatched

And the baddies they’re like fine fine but it’s seastone cuffs. They got beef with him or something so they were down, plus having one of their fighters tapped out seemed smart

So you go off with them and both of you are just subconsciously trying to protect the other Marco even has you come sit on his lap bc the sketchy van you’re put in has stuff all over the floor and you’re wearing shorts/skirt and it’s conveniently freezing in the van so like, y’all can warm eachother up

And the baddies are like oh wait is it the Phoenix’s gf is that why he wanted to come and they’re taunting like oh the things we could do to your little gf and Marco is like just remember the cuffs won’t be on forever

Anyways they drive y’all around until the meeting time maybe taunting or roughing poor Marco up a little and finally they all meet up at this trap location except obvi the whitebeard pirates are gonna kick ass and come to the rescue and they take you back with them to heal any injuries/make sure you ok

BUT

Oh no one of the baddies gets away and starts posting all over the dark web about the phoenix’s weakness and everyone is like oh you’re in danger guess you gotta stay with us for awhile

And Marco was so nice so you just have a huge crush but he somewhat avoids you bc he feels responsible so you’re like oh he does not like me back oh ok

And idk they’re loosely mafia ish so some shenanigans ensue of people coming after you but Marco is always there to protect you and the tension is off the charts

….

That’s kinda as far as my brain got bc I keep starting over lmao

Ugh I wish I was better at making that a cute little story I’m so good at coming up with things in my head but typing them out is so hard T_T

But I hope you enjoyed my brainrot I’m about to head to bed and will most likely be thinking of it more <3

An Author friend of mine - far more successful and suited to the job than I am - said something once that really sticks with me.

The ideas are the easy part, writing is the hard part.

Some people will come to her with ideas, and want some sort of 50/50 deal for doing "half" the work, and honestly, no matter how well fleshed out the idea is, it's barely going to be 5% of the process at best.

I don't share that to put your idea down, not even a little, but I do mention it to highlight that you're not wrong. Turning ideas into stories is the hard part, and honestly I always love seeing that truth understood too. (Real fun is when you apply that to other things and realize that certain types who have "great ideas" are rarely the ones who make them reality, but they really want to continually tell you how great their ideas are changing the world >.> )

<.<

Moving on from my little rant, I have to say I LOVE THIS - KAZIEAI OMFG I AM FOAMING AT THE FUCKING MOUTH YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS IS ONE OF MY MOST FAVORITIESTS SITUATIONS EVER!

I love everything about this!

AND THE ENSUING ANGST

UNNNGH.

So - I have to admit I have a Mafia AU Marco story I'm slowly working on. It's pretty complex so far, intended as a slowburn anyway, and I really want to incorporate this idea into it. I just love the vibes.

AND - lol - one of the points I wanted to sort out for it was specifically having the reader end up in the Main House for the Whitebeard Mafia family. This idea is PERFECT, a few adjustments for the reader type and the AU itself, and the vibes are there. It's a Devil Fruit AU too, so >.>

the reader as a hostage gets Marco as a "hostage", they're supposed to let her go at that point, but someone gets the brilliant idea that the girl keeps the bird inline, and Pops' prize bird keeps the other boys inline, so they're keeping both.

The idea of the doomed kidnappers thinking the two are together works, it'll be the 2nd or 3rd time they've met and yeah, there's been flirting, but nothing committal. So her staying at the Main House for protection still leave Marco with a sour taste - he does like her, but this situation isn't fair. He's too laid back and experienced to blatantly avoid her, but he makes sure there's always someone else around, excusing himself before his brothers can "leave the two of them alone" or anything.

In this particular story the reader is an adopted kid of Big Mom's, trying to get away from the mafia life to some degree, and more than that to avoid being married off for whatever reason by Big Mom in the first place. (this is grumbled about in the first chapter, so it's not some big reveal). That certainly adds another layer to things, especially if Lin-Lin sees it as an in to tie the two families together.

Ah, sweet Kazieai <3 I would love to utilize this wonderful idea you've blessed my morning with. Just because the idea part is easier than the writing part doesn't mean it isn't worth due credit ❤️Especially when it's just the scenario I was trying to come up with.

[statictelevisionart]

soooooo- I might’ve made a Flora x Iris fic

here you go you little obsessed gremlins :)

(it’s not my best work since I wrote it at like 3am tho)

I woke up in a cold sweat. I had just had a nightmare like no other I’ve had before, one that I was honestly shocked my brain was able to make. I’m used to having nightmares since I might have kinda been cursed… BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW OK!? Anyways, it was horrible, I wanted to cry, yell, something…but I didn’t. I looked to my side to see my girlfriend, Iris. She was sleeping peacefully like always. When she’s asleep, it’s nearly impossible to wake her. I decided I was going to go downstairs to get some water and contemplate my entire lives decisions.

         A little backstory on how the hell my life got to this point: my name is Flora, when I was younger and dumb, some weird f-cking demon cursed me so no man would ever love me. Jokes on them, I’m a lesbian so it actually kinda helped me. Now there aren’t any creepy guys hitting on me. I also have a girlfriend who is literally the best yada yada, whatever. If I keep talking about my girlfriend for too long I’m gonna go on a rant about how much I love her and I don’t think anyone wants to listen to that.

        I went downstairs and grabbed a cup of water. My phone said it was 4 AM.  I just drank my water and wondered what would’ve happened if I were to, I don’t know… NOT BE LITERALLY F-CKING CURSED BY A DEMON!!! Oh, and by the way, the demon also cursed me to have nightmares every night. You would think I would be desensitized to them but NOPE. Still scare the living hell out of me EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

        Yea. Not fun. I started thinking about the nightmare I had, the heart rate increased, my hands got shaky, my breathing got shallow. Oh for f-cks sake. yup. I was having a panic attack.

    Look, I’m not an expert on what the hell to do during sh-t like this. So I just kinda stood there. I felt like was gonna literally collapse. I shut my eyes tightly just hoping, begging for this to stop.

      But that’s when by some miracle my girlfriend, Iris woke up. THANK THE GODS HOLY HELL THAT WAS PERFECT TIMING.

    At this point I had my eyes shut and was just trying not to collapse. Iris rushed over to me and instantly picked me up. Yes, I might be taller than her by like 7 inches but she can still carry me like I’m a child. She brought me to a chair and make me sit down, my breathing slowly went back to normal and my heart rate was no longer fast. I opened my eyes back up as iris spoke to me 

      “hey, shh it’s ok. I’m here for you, Flora. You don’t have to hide anything from me honey.”

     Her words brought tears to my eyes as I realized that I wasn’t alone. I had my amazing, kind and beautiful girlfriend here with me to help me. I looked at her, most people only know her for her strange appearance, it can be rough for entities like us to fit in with humans. She had an eye for a head, most people would be a bit freaked out… but not me. I mean, I’m just as strange since I have a flower for a head. I hugged her tightly, as I hugged her tears started rolling down my face. I don’t cry often, and when I do I never cry in front of people. I don’t like showing weakness. I’m supposed to be the strong one, the rock for others to lean on, not the one who’s crying.

       Iris patted my back as I cried and she hugged me. “Shhh, it’s ok honey, you’re ok…” Iris said to me. I eventually stopped crying, me and Iris got back in bed and slept.

[aaaaaaaaagenloser]

(Tw: kinda transphobia? Use of it/its for a character who hasn’t declared what their pronouns are yet. Arguments over whether a character is a person or not; that ties into the pronoun thing here. Bonus points for descriptions of canon-typical gore yipeeee)

An update from after writing this: oh this. Got. This one got away from me?? I think I started this at 4 minutes past the hour. It is now 43 minutes past the hour. shitt.

Update; it is now 17 minutes after the NEXT hour. 26 minutes after th last update. I have seen god in the past hour and she shook in fear of both my power and audacity. I have lunch with my family scheduled in like 6 hours and I have not yet slept. This wasn’t meant to be as long as it is but I was possessed and this is the result. I may edit it and make it smoother later but I’ll make that a separate post, I want this sleep-deprived chunk of words to be here as like a monument to the fact that I could have been playing stardew valley during this time but I chose to do this instead

TLDR: long ass story ahead written by a sleep-deprived and hyperfixation-driven author. Who is now going the fuck to BED

“We can’t just keep it! What if it has a tracking device? It won’t let us fucking touch it so there’s no way of knowing it has one unless it leads them right to us!”

“Ok, I hear you but think. That hasn’t happened yet. It’s been about what, three days? and that hasn’t happened, and they haven’t been violent towards any of us at all. They haven’t tried to go back either, so there’s no risk of them telling or leading Showfall where we are.”

“Why do you keep calling it ‘they’?”

“Well they can’t be an “it” now can it? …wait.”

“Ok can we figure out the gender of the thing in the other room after we figure out if it’s a threat to us or not. It’s not even a fucking person, you remember what those things did to you back there, don’t you?”

“Those people were not themselves, they were just doing what he wanted them to do—“

“They’re not fucking people! Those things are all part of Showfall, just like Hetch was! It’s just waiting for the right time to turn us in, or pull some shit on one of us like they did before.”

“They weren’t… they weren’t in control.”

“Yeah like fuck they weren’t, I saw it fucking happen!”

“You can’t just… Ok. Sneeg. Stop. You don’t speak for me, the one who, oh I don’t know, was the one that shit happened to? They were being controlled just like us—“

“No, no, not like us. We were wandering around and not knowing what the fuck was happening. None of us knew what was happening. We just went along blindly. Those things—on purpose—dragged you to that stupid wall and sewed wires into your hands—“

“Shut up, Sneeg—“

“No you shut up! You didn’t see it fucking happen! I saw them and Bitchface literally hold you down until you passed out! They were fucking choking you, they fucking—they nearly fucking killed you with just their hands, that’s not a little suggestion in the back of your brain, that’s on purpose! That is fucking deliberate, that is a thing those machines chose to do! You don’t remember, you weren’t conscious when they fucking stapled you to the wall and strapped your head in—“

Sneeg glanced at Ranboo for a moment in-between pacing as he ranted, and the far away look in their sibling’s eyes shut them up immediately. Ranboo was still present, thank fuck, but they were looking at their brother like he was holding up a knife to their throat.

“Fuck, Ran, okay, okay—I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… shit. Do you need Charlie?”

“You don’t know when to shut the fuck up.”

“…okay. Okay. I’m sorry. Do you need me to get Charlie?”

“No, I’m fucking fine.” It did not sound like he meant that at all. His voice was less steady than before. “I don’t want him to worry about our… hitchhiker. He’s worrying enough about… well, everything.”

“The fact that it’s here, so close to us is the reason I’m trying to get you to see, Ran. What if it turns on him? What if it does that shit to him when we aren’t there?”

“We will be there.”

“And when it tries anything, we can kill it?”

“Sneeg!”

“You wouldn’t kill it, even if it hurt our fucking brother?”

“Of course we wouldn’t keep them around if they did that, could we at least just… just leave it behind? …wait, no, they couldn’t take care of themselves. If we had to leave it behind, maybe we should…”

Silence lingered for a bit too long.

“We should what, Ran?”

“…Sneeg, I was about to say that killing it would be a mercy.” The Hero laughed. “Doesn’t that sound familiar?”

The Taken didn’t reply.

“We have to help them. I don’t… I don’t want to be on the other end of a mercy killing. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore.”

“Okay. I’m—are you okay?”

“…m fine. It’s fine. Just. Can you stop acting like they’re any different from us? Please.”

“What do you want me to think then?” His voice was softer than it had been a few minutes before.

“Just assume that they… that they were someone. Just like we were before. And they didn’t… they didn’t do anything on their own, it was all Showfall.”

“Okay. Fine. Let’s assume they were controlled, they didn’t mean to, so on and so forth. Why haven’t they talked yet.”

“I don’t think any of the drones even could talk. Wait, should we really be calling them a drone—“

“Shut the fuck up, Ranboo, we have got to figure out what to do with it. It probably doesn’t even know what is happening, what the fuck does it matter what we call it.”

“It matters to me! Do you want me to call you by your title? Do you want to call me by mine? …No? Then why are we treating them like all they are is what Showfall made them? We had lives before, we were someone, so they must have been too. They might not realize it, or… or act like it, but they used to be someone. They are a whole person, Sneeg. We have to help them, we can’t just leave them behind because that would mean we are giving up on someone just like us, and we cannot give up on each other. They… they would have hurt us by now if they were going to. And Showfall hasn’t found us since… you know, which means there aren’t any more trackers.

…okay, Sneeg?”

“…okay. If it,” he sighed at the look Ran gave them, “if they try anything, we have to leave them behind. I’m not letting a dumbass puppet be the reason we get taken back.”

“If they—ok, whatever, you’re not understanding. You can’t say one of us somehow wanted to be controlled, and they’re a ‘puppet’ but those rules don’t apply to the rest of us—“

“There is not an ‘us,’ Ran! That thing isn’t like us!”

“Guys?”

A sleepy voice shut the two of them up instantly. They had a split-second conversation with their eyes before looking to their brother. ‘We aren’t done talking about this’ ‘You’e absolutely right, so later?’ ‘Later.’ ‘We’re telling Charlie nothing happened?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Ok good plan.’

“Why are you two fighting? I’m tired, can we please go back to sleep?”

“We weren’t fighting, we were…”

“…talking about plans for tomorrow. And you can go back to sleep.”

“I don’t want to be by myself.” Charlie looked at Sneeg pointedly, who sighed to Ranboo with a playfully annoyed expression.

“Well I guess I gotta go be a teddy bear again.”

“Have fun”

“Absolutely not.”

Charlie punched Sneeg in the shoulder lightly for that, who just giggled in response and led his little brother back to their room.

Which left Ran by themselves.

Some nights, he would join them, but some nights Charlie couldn’t stand to be anywhere near Ran, and the three of them had made a silent mutual agreement that Charlie trusted Sneeg more than he did Ranboo.

…Ranboo was okay with this. He wasn’t hurt by it. He didn’t cry on the nights he slept by himself.

He didn’t wish he could be the one Sneeg comforted sometimes. They were just fine.

They were fine, which is why they went to the living room where their… well. Their hitchhiker? They weren’t exactly a brother, or a sibling, more like a fourth wheel on a tricycle. Or a flyaway hair. Okay, maybe Ranboo needed to get tbr fuck to sleep, alone or not.

But he found himself in the living room, where their hitchhiker slept. Or, didn’t sleep, as they seemed to not need to. They would sit on the couch and stare idly at the tv. That was what had started the whole conversation with Sneeg in the first place; Ran wanted to leave some kind of entertainment for the fourth person so they wouldn’t be made to sit in the dark for hours. Sneeg took this remark as a perfect opportunity to explain all the reasons why the former drone should be abandoned, but Ranboo would have fucking none of it. Maybe the couch potato (shit, he really needed to come up with a name for them—) didn’t seem to sleep, barely ate, and stayed still unless actually verbally told to move, but they were still a person. Ranboo was sure of it.

Their hand wandered up to the fresh scabs where their mask had been. The fourth person had a mask, one that hadn’t been touched. Despite usually staying still, the person—(Ranboo thinks they might just call this person Couch for now. Maybe it’s not accurate, and they’re tired, but it’s something. C, for short.)

C would back away any time the others would try to get near them. And they did in fact try, but despite how creative or sneaky they got, C always ducked away. It reminded Ranboo of the drone who had followed them with a camera, always one step away and never letting the Hero get too close.

The mask turned to Ranboo, who stared back quietly. C hadn’t talked at all, so Ranboo didn’t expect them to suddenly start now. He wasn’t even sure if they understood what was said to them, but Ranboo wanted to try anyways. Better to be polite.

“Do you like the show that’s on? I think it’s called Lucy, or something. I don’t know, Sneeg said it was funny. And it didn’t seem, uh- scary or anything.”

The mask didn’t speak.

“If you want to change it, the remote’s right there, um, I showed you how to use it before. And there’s like, instructions drawn on there. You can thank Charlie for that one.”

…

“I think I’m going to head to bed.”

…

“Fuck it, can I stay here?”

The mask still didn’t speak, but the head hidden behind it tilted a bit at the sudden change in tone. Ranboo took this as an absolute win.

“So I just. I don’t want to be by myself. And I don’t think you sleep, I mean if you just sleep when everyone else is asleep that’s cool, but also if so how do you even? function? on that much sleep? It really isn’t that much but to be fair you don’t do much so maybe you don’t need it. …do you sleep sitting up? And just somehow wake up when we get close? I know, um. Sorry about that, again, we were just worried your mask had a tracker like mine used to.”

Ran laughed nervously. “I think I did convince them that it doesn’t, so that should stop now. If um. If we make you uncomfortable you still don’t have to be touched, it’s, it’s fine.”

Other than the head tilt before, there wasn’t a reply.

“Okay, since. You can’t talk, I’m just gonna… I’ll sit down beside you. On the couch. And if you don’t want me to be that close you can uh- you can leave. Or like, get up, and then I’ll leave. This is the only room with a tv, so I’ll let you stay here, but I can’t tell if you want me to be here or not, so. Okay, sorry, I’m rambling. Just… move if you want me to leave, okay?”

Ranboo waited for a response that didn’t come, then sighed. “Okay.” He kept his hands up and open while sitting down, waiting for a few moments before tucking his feet under himself to get more comfortable. “I’m just gonna stay here, okay? Like I said, just move if you want me to leave.”

The mask had tracked them to where they sat now, but the person—C—didn’t make a move to leave. Ranboo turned their attention to the tv, keeping an eye on their couch partner in their peripheral vision. During a moment of audience laughter in the show—I Love Lucy, they remembered—C turned their head back to the television as they had been before Ranboo walked in.

Seeing as how C (they needed a better name than that—) didn’t speak, this was the closest Ranboo could get to being told “you can stay here.” So they did. A few episodes later, his head was on the arm of the couch and his eyes were closed.

Five turned its attention to the Hero, who was now asleep. He had said it was a person, which was almost hilarious. And the Taken and the Hero seemed to think it couldn’t talk? They had to know it needed to be given permission first: any handler of a Drone or Prop knew that basic rule. It would wait until permission was given: it knew how to obey. It wasn’t meant to speak to a superior unless it was told it was allowed. It would wait.

…in the meantime, it studied its handler, the Hero. The other Actors, their two other handlers, called him ‘Ranboo’ but Five knew that wasn’t his actual label. The Hero was his character in the last show, and so that is who he was. Five didn’t know if Actors had a number, but he had been called the Hero in the script, and so the Hero he will be until the script changes.

It hoped to get new instructions, a new script for itself, something, soon. It was tired of simply watching the Actors go about their incredibly off-script show. It was sometimes told to participate, and since no other superiors were nearby, it had to obey its current handlers. But it was told to participate, to stir eggs, to help clean the kitchen, to attack small webs in corners with a stick with soft spikes on the end. Those sorts of things weren’t it’s usual directive, and so it found itself…

It didn’t resent its handlers. They were doing their best, and they at least knew that they were meant to give it orders. It simply wished they were familiar orders. It wished the Hero had told it to play dead, or play chase, or play camera, or caught, or prop. It would even listen if it was told to power down until needed. At least then it wouldn’t have to be conscious in this boring and unfamiliar set.

.

Y EA I know they probably don’t like tvs. Shhhhhh. I didn’t think about that until like. I had already written the tv part. At this moment it is 55 minutes past th hour and I want these characters to go the fuck to sleep so I can go thr fuck to sleep /lh

And yeah Five only uses “he” for glran. That is intentional. It’ll be talked about and shit later. Something about being put into a role, something about showfall being transphobic, something something I want to go to bed

Powering down = “sleeping” for a drone. Different but similar. I’ll explain how it works later?, anyway The others hav e told Five to “sleep” but it doesn’t understand because it is only ever told to “power down” so it’s like error.sleep_not_found and it stares at them like “bitch you said the wrong. Thing. You’re supposed to know how to control me so you don’t want me to power down I fucking guess” and it’s gonna be really funny after that miscommunication is taken care of.

If you remember the Five Gets A Cold And Wants To Throw Hands With Everyone post, this is wayyy before that. These motherfuckers are fresh out of showfall. Don’t ask how they got a house. I’ll figure it out

I am! Tired! I’m not proofreading this!! Goodnight please give me your thoughts if you have them. I need to know I didn’t sacrifice tbis much sleep in vain /nf /lh (I appreciate words but you are Not required to give them. Love you have a good nigt/p)

[yourmomni]

Crush-6

A/n: planning on only 10 chapters so in the future the chapters might be a little longer so I can put everything in it. Also I might to little like bonus shorts cus why not ok enjoy and @jaehyunsblkgf was the best supporter on this story and I couldn't have continued doing this with out them literally best person ever

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: language, Arguing scene, suggestive content ( nun too crazy tho), mommy issues

After me and jeno had dinner he invited us to go on a walk so we could catch up on everything that was going on in our lives. " It feels like we haven't talked in years." I laughed looking up at the stars walking beside him. " aw did someone miss me." I pushed his shoulder. He just smiled shrugging. " I don't know did you miss me."

For as far as I could remember Jeno was always by my side. From the start of middle school to our college years. He was my best friend.

" of course I missed you." He grabbed my hand leading me to a bench to sit down. " I'm sorry that we haven't had time to hang out I've just been so busy lately with-" " Jake." I looked at him raising my eyebrows thinking if this was the right time to bring up the incident that happened today. " I just want the best for you." He started looking at me. " thanks jeno I appreciate that. I feel like I haven't been able to talk to anyone." He turned towards me on the bench crossing his legs. "Well you have me and I'm always ready to listen."

I smiled turning towards him."Okay well, I haven't talked to my sister in weeks. Ever since the party and we got into that huge argument. I miss her." I rubbed my hands over my knee. "Have you tried talking to her?" I shook my head. " after what she said I don't think I could face her."

"Have you tried understanding everything she said?" I looked at him raising an eyebrow. " what's there to understand she wants to control My life? I didn't even wanna come to this stupid school in the beginning I was valedictorian in high school, a full-ride scholarship to Harvard do you know how hard I worked to get that."

He nodded. "Yep, we had the best study dates." Grabbing my hand in his and rubbing the back. " She just doesn't get it. I'm not here because of her, I'm here because I wanted a change. I was tired of living my life so perfectly. I wanted to do the unexpected for once. I wanted to live on the edge." Jeno smiled grabbing my chin and lifting me to face him

"Then do it. Who cares what Amilla has to say? It's your life, not hers. If you want to dye your hair then do it. If you want to join the craziest club on campus what's stopping you from doing that? This is your life, not hers."

The air around me turned cold and windy as I looked into his eyes. They were sincere and kind. Like they always were. " Jeno." He hummed. " thank you for listening to me rant and for the advice." He grinned "You know you can always come to me for anything. I'll always have time for you." I smiled up at him uncrossing my legs from the bench and standing up and he followed opening his arms. I embraced in a warm hug that lasted for a long time

" you always gave the best hugs." I nuzzle my head into his warm chest. I felt his chest vibrate from his laugh.

"I love you." Jeno sighed into my hair I looked up at him smiling. " I love you too now come on it's getting cold out here and I have to study." He nodded letting me go and we began walking again

What she didn't see was his face fall when she didn't understand that he meant more than just friends.

When I finally made it home I plopped on my bed kicked my shoes off and crawled to my pillows. My phone began to r8ng and I groaned cursing whoever was ringing my phone when I was finally relaxed bit I immediately shot up when I saw the contacts

" Mom Hi." I heard shuffling in the background and people talking. " y/n my love how are you we haven't talked in weeks." My heart was thumping out of my chest. " oh I'm sorry Mother I was busy you know how college is. " " Yes but that doesn't mean….. no I want the tulips on the stage not on the floor and where is my ice sculpture I said I wanted that in the center of the room 10 minutes ago." She scoffed.

" Sorry honey, what were we talking about…oh yes you not calling me and making up excuses." I rolled my eyes. " your sister tells me you have a new friend." My eyes widened. Of Course, she told our mom about Jake. " yes Mom I do." She hummed. " is jeno no longer around I thought you two were together." "Mom me and Jeno are just friends nothing more." She scoffed. "What a shame he's such a sweetheart I prefer him over anyone. He has such a good family background." I rolled my eyes again

And she wonders why I never call. A loud crash was in the background and screaming was followed." THAT BETTER NOT BE MY GOLD RIMMED PLATES…. Honey I have to call you back tomorrow your father sends his regards." She hug up before I could get any words out " I love you too." I tossed my phone on the pillow. If Mom knows about Jake that means Dad knows about Jake. I groaned flopping back on my pillow. "God why."

My mother was a very famous wedding planner the best in our state. She even had celebrity clients and people from all over the world coming to her for her services. She was number 11 in Forbes's most successful women and number 7 for Women of the Year.

Your dad was a little calmer, you would like to say. He was a defense attorney with his own practice building. Sure you loved your mom but your dad was your favorite person. You always spends your time at his job studying in his office as he went over cases you always got ice cream right after. Or whenever he would take you on late-night rides to the beach after test days and just sit looking at the star.

The last thing you wanted to do is disappoint him and you feel like you did when you chose not to go to Harvard. You haven't talked to him since the day you left for Korea.

Today was not your day, and you were ready for sleep to take you, so it could already be the next morning. You took a quick shower put on your pajamas that was an oversized shirt with shorts and jump in your bed immediately dozing off

You woke up to a knock on your door and someone calling your name. You groaned grabbing your phone and looking at the time 8 am.

You got up shuffling to the door. " one minute." I rubbed my eyes, reminding myself to ask Jake about my glasses next time I see him. I opened my door and speaking of Jake there he was wide smiling holding a coffee cup and a bag with the local doughnut shop's name on it

" good morning sleepy head." I yawned. " Jake what are you doing here it's 8 o'clock in the morning." I let him in and he kicked his shoes off heading to my kitchen. " I just wanted to come by before my class and drop you off some breakfast and I also wanted to check up on you since you never texted me back last night." My eyes widen I rushed to my room grabbed my phone and saw 10 missed messages from Jake. " oh I'm so sorry I got home late and I fell asleep immediately I should have called you." He shrugged taking the food out of the bag.

" It's okay I'm just happy to see you." He smiled pulling me by my waist and pecking my lips. I giggled feeling my cheeks go hot. " So you were serious about the girlfriend thing." He smiled down at me, his fingers rubbing circles on my waist. " very serious." He spoke softly staring at my lips and then back up at me

"okay." I stuttered. He smirked, kissing my cheek then returned to unpacking the pastries from the bag. " I remember you saying you love bread so I bought a lot of different kinds for you to try." I gasped looking at the different danishes and pastries he laid out for me. I hopped on the counter beside him reaching for a circular-shaped bread with cream cheese in the middle. Taking a bite. I groaned when chewing "This is delicious." I kicked my feet in happiness

" Here baby try this." He picked up a chocolate-covered croissant and I opened my mouth, biting down on the sweet pastry. He smiled and my expression. He ran his finger over my bottom lip, cleaning the chocolate off of it. He locked eyes with me, popping a finger in his mouth.

" Jake." He went in between my legs resting one hand on my thigh and the other on my waist.

" yes, baby." He was getting closer to me " I'm s-sorry about yesterday on canceling dinner." He smirked, pulling me towards him In a swift motion. Our noses grazed each other "It's okay you can make it up to me right." Without thinking I nodded " yes."

He smiled leaning inches away from my lips then a knock was heard at the door. " Jake hyung hurry, I'm going to be late for class," Sunoo whined on the other side of the door. Jake groaned. " Seriously again " I laughed. He huffed pulling away from me. I hopped off the counter

Jake scoffed and mumbled under his breath "They're ruining my life" I opened the door smiling, happy to see Sunoo. " good morning my favorite player-" Jake yelled protesting in the back." Would you like some breakfast Jake brought some pastries over." Jake ran to the door blocking Sunoo from coming in. " no he wouldn't right Sunoo."

From the way Sunoo glared at Jake you could tell there was something behind his statement. " actually-" Sunoo pushed Jake back out of his way. " I would love some pastries " you clapped excitedly as Jake flared watching Sunoo enter my kitchen and I shrugged his immaturity off.

I waved at Sunoo as he walked back to Jake's car. " You know they love you right." I looked at him. " Who?" He motioned towards his car. " the boys actually like you, well sung hoon could be a little intimidating at times but he'll come around eventually."

While Jake was talking my brain traveled to somewhere else. Did Jake bring breakfast for Tejiri? Did he show up at her house earlier in the morning so he could see her? " babe are you listening." I looked at him nodding

" Yeah um, I think you should go. I think Sunoo is going to beep the horn any minute."

The sun was finally coming, showing an orange hue in the sky. It wasn't as windy as it was yesterday but you could tell it was coming.

" I ran into your ex yesterday." I sucked my bottom lip cursing myself for the bluntness.

Jake huffed. " Which one?" I glared at him and he chuckled. " I'm kidding, I know you meant Soojin." You raised your eyebrow." Who the heck is Soojin." Jake frowned in confusion. " Then I've only dated like 2 girls in college not counting you." I stared back up at the sky. " Tejiri." From the corner of your eye, you could see Jake freeze. " Tejiri?" He repeated. " She's pretty." Jake groaned, lifting his hand to his forehead. " shit…did she say something to you? If she did it's not true I promise I would never do anything to hurt you." I sighed " It's okay she just introduced herself and left nothing more." I lied

Jake glanced at My eyes trying to see if I was telling the truth. "Baby I know her. And if she saw you yesterday she did more than introduce herself." I looked away from him and back at the sky, not saying anything. Jake walked behind me wrapping his arms around my waist and sitting his chin on my shoulder. " I've enjoyed every moment I spent with you these last couple of weeks. You make me happy, happier than I've ever been and I would change anything about it, i-i've enjoyed you."

I looked at his smiling face, smiling back at him. kissing his lips gently. " I know." I heard a loud honk and Sunoo was waving his hands from the car. I laughed, "Now it's time for you to go." He unwrapped himself from my waist, humming a yeah. He grabbed my chin placing one last kiss on my lips. " I'll see you later, right? No rain checks." I nodded. " I'm all yours." He smiled running down the stairs. I leaned on the railing looking down at the parking lot. He hopped in his car and drove away

I stretched and walked back into my apartment closing and locking the door plopping on my couch with one of the pastries turning on my t.v.

NIKI🤞🏽🫶🏽🩵: Hey sorry I didn't call last night me and Jungwon were trying to figure some things out. Can I come over

I immediately replied yes and put some coffee on for her and boiled some water for tea for me. 10 minutes later she walked through the door still with her bonnet on throwing herself on my couch

" I need a drink." I snickered. " Honey, it's 7 a.m. The best I can do for you is coffee." She groaned, sitting up and holding her hands out to receive the mug.

"What's going on." She sat crisscrossed on my couch staring into her mug with a sad expression. "Jungwon’s ex is trying to ruin my life, that's what's going on." I sat beside her and she turned towards me. " The bitch is crazy and I don't mean just blowing up phones, I mean blowing up cars and breaking windows." I cringed." Damn." She nodded "Yeah damn is right. She sipped the coffee "So all night I and Won were trying to figure everything out. Then we ended up having a small argument that ended with him storming out of our apartment " My eyes widened as I rested My hand on her leg." I'm so sorry, maybe you guys just need some space." Niki nodded. " Yeah maybe he rarely gets like this and if he does leave he usually comes an hour later but he's been gone ever since 11 last night. I tried calling but he just declines my calls. She began playing with her nails. " would you mind if I stayed here.. just for today." I smiled at her. " Niki, you can stay as long as you want to."

She smiled at me as a tear dropped down her cheek and she quickly swatted it away. " Thank you, I appreciate it."

I pulled her in for a hug and she gladly accepted it. I felt her body relax on me deflating a little. " anytime."

🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼🌼

Jungwons leg was bouncing as he sat at tables inside a coffee shop gripping his Matcha in his hand. The drink was supposed to calm him down but instead, he felt like it was adding more fuel to his fire. The memories of that night played back through his head; his voice yelling at Niki as she talked so calmly to him. Probably because she knew and felt how frustrated he was but he still should have never raised his voice at her. The love of his life. She was probably worried sick about him and here he was declining her calls sitting at a coffee shop waiting for the person who caused all of this to show up.

Her tear-streaked face kept flashing in his head and Jungwon tightly closed his eyes trying to forget about it. Trying to forget how he caused that face. If he could take back everything he said to her yesterday he would. He knew Niki already forgave him but he couldn’t forgive himself.

"You don't think I'm trying my fucking hardest to make this go away I've been trying for years." Niki bit the inside of her cheek. "Baby I know you are but she's not giving up and her tactics gave gotten very extreme, maybe we should report her." Jungwon shrugged her hands off his shoulder. "Report her? Are you stupid?" Niki looked taken aback. " excuse you what did you just call me? Boy, you must have bumped your head and forgot who you were talking to." Jungwon had a broken smirk on his face poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue crossing his arms. " now I understand you were scared to report her but-." Next thing she knew a vase was being thrown to the floor.

"SCARED YOU THINK I'M JUST SCARED. SHE RUINED MY LIFE NIKI SHE RUINED EVERYTHING.'' Now he had tears running down his cheeks. " ever since I broke up with her she's made my life hell, she got my scholarship taken away from me and I had to work my ass off to get it back, she went to my mom's job and scared off all her customers so she wouldn't be able to make money, she even made sure I wouldn't get accepted into any of dream colleges it's a damn miracle I got into here." Niki gulped, stepping back away from Jungwon. "Reporting her isn't going to make her go away." He was heaving the anger pooling around him like smoke. He looked at her face, the tears spilling out her eyes and she was clutching the countertop. He scared her. But he would never hurt her. She knew that. Right. He looked at the shattered vase glass everywhere.

"I need to get out of here." He grabbed his keys, opened the door and ran out. " Jungwon, wait." She slipped her shoes on going out the door to follow him but by the time she made it down the stairs, he was gone.

Jungwon sipped his drink staring at the condensation on the cup. He had to fix this. And he had to do it now. "You're early." His head shoots up at the voice. A girl sat down in front of him, sitting down with her handbag on the table, her golden bracelets dangling from her wrist and her nails clicking on the table.

" Hello, wonnie." Jungwon jaw clenched

Looking at the girl in front of him. " Oh don't look so upset, how long has it been 3 years?" He scoffed. " It feels like I see you every day." She smiled "Aw, I missed you." Jungwon didn't know what he was getting himself into when he replied to Xoe's text.

"What do you want?" She shrugged, flipping her long black hair behind her shoulders. " I just wanted to see you, that's all." He sighed. " Xoe I want you to stop texting me, stop following me please." Her face dropped, Jungwon was wondering how long it would take her to drop the facade she had on. " Wonnie you're making me upset." " Xoe I have a girlfriend we've been dating for 3 years. I love her and only her." She rolled her eyes. " But Wonnie, what about me and you?" Jungwon slammed his hand on the table. "there is no me and you, there hasn't been a me and you since high school." The cafe went silent at Jungwon’s sudden outburst. " Why can't you move on? I've moved on." She stared at him a small smirk on her face

" Fine." She gathered her purse and stood up. Jungwon followed her. " What do you mean fine." She huffed turning around. " If you don't want to be with me then okay I'll see you around." She put on her designer sunglasses and walked out of the cafe. Jungwon stood there in complete shock. What the heck just happened.

[inlocusmads]

more of disaster detective nora

Because I just want them to thrive on chaos and be proud that they got at least 0.3% of the work done.

lots of scarpering, running and just being like super hyper when she's made a crack in the case

chugging concentration pills like food until she just goes "beh, they don't work" because Nora here thinks she can win her war against sleep

ends up sleeping over a whole mess of files, waking up to find half of them gone because she left the window open fuck

chugs coffee by the metric ton

walks around interrogating people with tired bags under her eyes and just bloodshot pupils, shoving her ID up people's faces and going "TELL ME EVERYTHING." and it's like the scariest shit ever

getting distracted like seven times and sidetracked fourteen times

can't do math. No. No conception of time or space or basic calculations to get a godforsaken doughnut so she's like "hi ok just put it on my card PLEASE I can't do with change"

wearing the same pair of denim trousers five days in a row with perfume

coffee coffee coffee coffee coffee

existential crisis which involves at least three plaguing pieces of doubt in her head

reconsidering her career and going all full disappointed Asian parent "why couldn't I have been a doctor instead?"

Getting sidetracked because there's a magazine and everyone looks like they're having a fest and a half and she's just lowkey jealous but highkey finds them super pretty

Spending a lot of time thinking if she should get a tie because it'll go with her outfit

Thinking if she should splurge on those disco boots and just shave her hair and go absolutely insane and hit mid life crisis at age 32

Remembers she's a responsible adult and does responsible work for two minutes before getting in another hour of nap time, only to wake up at fuckin 9pm at night

Ruby's gone

Luke's gone

Heck even Mafalda has gone after sticking a sticky note on her face, telling her she should get going or else

m o r e. c o f f e e . extra bitter because she hates herself

going through like five depressive episodes because she made like only one decent break in the case and nothing else

Sad-listens to ABBA for a whole hour.

Sad-works and rushes everything up by 12am

Goes back home

Gets yelled at by Uncle Tommy

Doesn't sleep at all. Still thinking about the case. Gets a jolt of LIGHTNING and continues to work on other pending shit at like 3 in the morning

Never sleeps at all

Wakes up at 4, decides to be healthy and goes back to sleep. Wakes up at 5, decides "okay you were in the NYPD for god's sake build up those muscles" and goes back to bed

It's eight. She's late.

Fuuuuuck catch three buses, wait for like fifteen cabs and Ubers, shit, Run Nora, Run! Running, just sprinting across like an absolute mad person.

Finally makes it only for this to repeat over and over and over and over again.

bonus: + trystan's reactions

"Nora seriously, STOP! TELL ME WHERE WE ARE GOING! okay we're -- I thought this guy was in the other street!"

"you need food" "no i-" "actual PROPER breakfast, this is an insult to me and my entire home country" *goes on this passionate slavic rant about how cuisine brought them all together* "and that's why you need proper food!"

"Get a cot." "No, I quite like the desk actually." "You literally have a keypad print on your face. Are you okay."

"Drakovian coffee is better. This American swill is nothing but water mildly flavoured- I SAID WHAT I SAID, DETECTIVE!"

*talking to an annoying witness* "okay I promise my partner here is not dangerous. She's a prominent private--" "AND I'LL TELL YOU ONE MORE THING, YOUR MOTHER-" "detective, you're really not helping your case."

"that is enough Wikipedia for one day, you do not need to know about tectonic plates for now."

"I'm not American and I know how to add cents and dollars!" "I've got this figured out!! It's three-- hold on, three -- what's three plus --" "Seventeen. I've paid for it. Keep the change. Detective, seriously, this is primary school maths! We're cracking open the books now."

"is that the same jeans you wore yesterday?" "No, i have multiple pairs of the same thing." "There's a lollipop stuck to it that's been there since Monday."

"DRAKOVIAN COFFEE IS BETTER." "FUCK YOU."

"you deserve all happiness, Nora."

"you are an excellent private detective and I could not have done anything without-"

"THAT IS ENOUGH VOGUE - oh wait, is that -- my, that is a wonderful piece! Hold on, I'm not finished with this page - this is absolutely breathtaking -- why must people be so wonderful-looking?"

"get a tie." "But I don't want to." "Then don't." "But I want to."

"no." "But disco boots." "As a fashion connoisseur, I forbid you from hitting that button." "Sparkly shit, cmon man." "No."

"YES you are responsible! Finally! We're back on track and--"

"too soon?" "Too soon." "Hold on I died again at this Flappy Bird game, this is STUPID!"

"you're still here?" (Groggy) "of course I am."

"HOW AREN'T YOU ASLEEP" "I WAS" "IN YOUR PENTHOUSE!" "I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALONE" "I'LL BE FINE" *more squabbling*

"DRAKOVIAN COFFEE" "Trystan I swear to fucking God I will punch you-"

"it's okay, we'll get back to this" "it's NOT okay!"

"Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight --"

"you'd better get your eight hours worth' of rest." "Yes sir." "No because I might just personally threaten you." "Ha your threats don't work - holy shit okay fine you can stare, glare, I get it fine, FINE."

*More midnight squabbling. Trystan's yelling the importance of sleep at her in Drakovian. Nora's yelling back in Chinese. Both are stupidly sleep deprived to even talk in English.*

"FINALLY, it's eight o'clock! How are you late?" "How are you early?" "Easy, I sleep. And also I got you Drakovian coffee which-" "TRYSTAN THORNE I WILL KILL YOU."

They're just disasters who are openly disastrous only to the other lmao. Nora's like super cool with her aura of mystery and swagger but inside she's like a violent tornado child who shouldn't be left alone for five seconds because she's already wandered off to watch cool explosions and Trystan's the same, except he's the one starting those explosions.

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Sunday, April 14th, 2024! Pt 2 (one day NC 🥳)

10:03am: I went back and reread some posts from earlier in the week and remembered that I was doing really good! I think last night was a one off and a little step backwards, but nothing that can't be overcome again. Things happen. People disappoint us and let us down, doesn't mean we have to become hard and cold to the world.

I'm gonna stay positive and know that

1) fake positivity does turn into real positivity after a while 2) positivity attracts people, friends and that's what I would like.

Stay positive! Definitely still process your trauma, but there's so much good in life! Like that awesome feeling when you have a good day with someone new ❤️ I guess I understand wanting to start fresh with someone because it's exciting! Plus be confident knowing that you were never the problem and omg there's so many guys out there that want a chance with you, honestly things will probably get better with age.

Don't be like the boss, a whole ass pharmacist going back n forth with someone beneath him, petty drama, stress and emotional turmoil. I don't want that life, it's bad for your physical body. When I think about the positive feelings I've been having for about the past two weeks, the tension lifts from my body. I have so much to look forward to. And I can't control anyone else's actions, I can only control my actions and my emotions and how I react to things.

This door closing is just opening up a bunch new ones :) and what one man won't do, another man will ❤️ let's work on me so I can find my forever guy ❤️

I love you

6:53pm: Got home from work and I'm bleeding like crazy. Longest month of my life. New homie sounded like he was gonna come over but I think he chickened out? Lmao that's crazy 😂 Had a nice day at work, ranted to the boss and it helped me a lot. He told me to make a pros and cons list and I said that con side would look crazy 🤣 he said he does the same thing and it helps him, also he said the no contact thing is helping him a lot PLUS this man is wildin OUT like every night is a bachelor party or something and I want to be like him haha. So crazy tho he's just like yeah and then I might get back with his gf after a few months like ???? Guys are insane lmao.

Weirdest thing I have thought about today is how prude he* is. 🤔 I really don't have to explain myself but like, he has the two biggest ho friends I've ever seen and acts like I'm just supposed to be some untouchable angel is WACK. Tbh I wouldn't get back together with him for that alone, it's a major rift in our morals. He thinks he/ his friends can just do whatever but then judges girls for doing the same? Icky, double standard ass mf 🤢 this man belongs in the looney bin after last night. Weird ass said he hopes the guy I end up with has wack dick and he hopes nobody is better than him 🤣 who tf says that

I literally had to lie to this man on facetime so he wouldn't have a meltdown if I told him what I really did, getting piped in our bed by a great guy 😂 crazyyyyy flex bro, but yeah keep doing it in y'all's parents house 🥴 literally just gave me icky goosebumps thinking about that.

Who cares lol I'm glad that part of my life is over. I'm tired of looking stupid tbh. Hesitant to do a # days no contact tracker on here because ik it can be counterintuitive to think about him technically, but shit I already think about him anyway, so I think it'll be a good idea to *try* and if it sucks I'll stop.

1:10am: Going to sleep now, didn't do anything after work today but that's ok :) had yogurt and cereal for dinner and both cats are on my bed ❤️ Spent too much time on my phone but it's ok, too. I think I'm gonna do a beginning of the day and end of the day, then I can kinda track triggers that make me want to reach out to him. Ik it's stress but also ik this will help. Distractions are great, but I want better distractions than just being on my phone lol.

Goals for tomorrow: Last OSCE! Study for exam! Study MOA! I know you hate it but that doesn't matter right now, you gotta grind before you party 🎉 Study for Jesse McCartney ❤️ He doesn't want you to fail your exam 😂

Goodnight, I love you so much I hope you had a good Sunday. I'm listening to crime podcasts while I fall asleep, something I couldn't do with you here lol. Perks of being a bachelorette 🤪 Hella peaceful and everything is easy going.

Day 1 NC complete! ❤️🥳

[webslingingslasher]

I feel like crying right now 🫠. I had a rlly bad week and it involved me having a mental breakdown and having to pretend like I wasn't crying when my parents came in my room. Not trying to trauma dump but I was js stressed over school assignments bc I usually never have trouble doing it and my room was very dirty and I had laundry to do and I'm sick and my parents think somethings going on with me because I was late to school three days in a row??? My dad literally said "What's going on with you lately?" While he was dropping me off and I started tearing up so I js got out of the car before I started bawling. My very best friend is ignoring me for some reason??? It usually only lasts like a few hours but this has been going on since Thursday and we still have not said a word to each other.

We're a trio w another girl but the other girl (let's call her v) has other friends and her main friends were a year older but they graduated so now we're a trio. I kind of didn't like her bc I let her rant to me when we were becoming friends but then she got too used to it and I became her therapist which I would be fine with bc I love her but she would never listen to me when I was talking and then when asked she would js giggle and say it's bc of her 'adhd' but then she would say she didn't have adhd too?? Like girl make up ur mind. But then I wouldn't let myself be walked over so I confronted her and she said ok I'll try to be better. Lately she has gotten a lot better and she's becoming a very important person in my life but it's usually always been me and my bsf right? Sorry to go off topic I forget what I'm talking ab and I js keep talking 😭 but uhhh anyways I told v aby bsf ignoring me and she basically told me that I should ignore her back bc she always does it to me and I'm always the one apologizing even tho I don't know what I did wrong most of the time. I send her a long paragraph and she js responds w lol and we move on.

So v told me that I don't deserve that, so I should wait for her to talk to me, and after a while, I was like, "Yk what? Youre right" and she told me "ik this sounds cringy but I'm so proud of you" I was alr kind of crying before that bc I always care more ab ppl then they do ab me and bc of the shitty week I had been having so when I read that I immediately started crying and I was muffling the sounds in my spiderman plushie (I'm so cool ik😎) and I was like that for ab an hour and I haven't talked to my bsf since. We had school the next day, and she ignored me, so I went to my other friends bc I have more of them in my classes than she does, and I had a pretty good day apart from her.

Anyways I forgot what my point was again 😭, but oh yeah today I woke up early to go see the eclipse w my cousins and when I came home I went to get starbucks w my dad and then showered (I had not showered in a while, stinky ik 😪((tbh I think it was the dirty room and clothes that was depressing me)) ) and then I cleaned my room and moved things around. (It was a deep clean day) and I went to go do laundry at my aunties. (I had to put two loads in bc I had a lot of clothes 😭) anyways it is currently 8:30 pm where I am and I js got home bc I had to walk home w my bin.

I come home to my little ipad kid cousins in my room on my bed (I didn't have bedsheets on bc I washed them) they had dirty bare feet and they were jumping on my bed and I had left a drawing on my bed and they crumpled it all up. My aunt js leaves them to do whatever they want bc the older one has autism so that's an excuse apparently??? (Don't come at me she's not a very good mom in that department)((wow that sounded judgy)) also I can't tell them to go away or not jump on my bed because then my parents are gonna make it seem like I'm being dramatic in front of my whole family (my aunts and uncles are here) also I'm Mexican btw so it's a very big deal. Also if I tell my aunt she's gonna be rlly sorry and make me feel guilty ab it and in the end they're gonna end up on my bed either way. Also ik my cousin is also having a bad week so ik small things will provoke him. So yeah 😁 I also have a class tmr at 6:30 pm for two hours and it affects me a lot bc then I feel out of it when I have to come home and get ready for school on Monday.

Anyways sorry for dumping all of this on you and if you made it to the end congrats and thank you 🫶🏽 also feel free to ignore this I js needed to tell someone🧍🏽‍♀️

- 🎧

seems like v is a good friend. and it sounds like you need a good friend right now.

i hope these next few weeks get better, i'm sending a big fat virtual hug your way!

[myownpersonaldiary2323]

Ok first rant.

Lately I’ve been feeling bad; I feel like everyone in my family has some one, my mom has my dad, and my brothers all have eachother. I’ve told mom how I feel useless but that got thrown back in my face, that’ll be the last time I do that :) everyone always yells at me for being in my room all day it’s always the same old thing “ are you gonna do anything today” “ damn bro you’re lazy” they don’t realize they’re the reason I don’t come out of my room or my bed. Im tired of feeling not good enough it’s like NO ONE notices me im the forgotten one and anytime I bring it up I get treated like shit, it’s fine tho I should rlly j be used to it by now. One day I j want to be someone’s first choice; I know that if my family were to have a ranking of who there favorite family member was it go like this 𝑚𝑜𝑚：bro#3, bro#2, dad, bro#1, me 𝑑𝑎𝑑：mom, bro#1, bro#3, bro#2, me bro#2：bro#2, bro#3, dad, mom, me bro#2 ： bro#1, bro#3, mom, dad, me bro#3： bro#1, bro#2, mom, dad, me. I get it tho I wouldn’t put me first either. It’s like when they’re gone I miss them more than anything, and they don’t even notice I’m missing, and I’m starting to think that they’d be better off without me. Do you know how hard it is being the forgotten child? Everyone talks over you! No one ever listens! And then they blame it on you it’s always “ maybe you should speak up then!” And “ maybe if you got out of your room you wouldn’t be ‘forgotten” my mom has said some messed up things one time we were driving in a rental van and I mentioned how we should get one so she could be and art mom, she replied with “ no, I could be a football mom” she didn’t know that what she said had shattered my heart into a million different pieces, I get that to you it may not seem like it’s not a big deal but to me I’ve always wanted their approval and attention, I wanted them to see me how they see my brothers, my two oldest brothers play football and they expect my little brother to as well; the boys get all the praise and attention, while I sit there in envy. I started to think that maybe if I started to act more like my siblings I’d get more love but they j told me I wasn’t cute and to quit acting like that :) even our other family members act this way I’m nobody’s favorite, at school it’s always about them, people only talk to me when they need something. And then they wonder why I’m always so angry. They wonder why I absolutely fucking HATE myself. I hate being the last person to leave the table after eating, I hate sitting alone because everyone else already finished, I hate feeling the way I do, I hate being so worthless., I hate hating my body and the way I look, I hate feeling bad after I eat, and I hate that the people making me feel bad are the ones I love most. I getting tired of fighting back to the point where I’m j giving up on defending myself, I’m giving up on trying to talk and have my voice heard, I’m giving up on trying to have my parents love me and appreciate me. I look at people who are literally so close to their family and I wish I was them, I wish I didn’t get pushed to the side when it comes to how I feel. I wish I was some one else. Someone better. I wish I wasn’t me.

[concomitant-gang]

vent/rant tw

Fuck I am honestly so pissed rn, at first I was like ok yeah it makes sense I’m on vacation and I just figured out I’m a system so it’s nice of them to go silent so I can enjoy myself but I think back to only a month ago at my graduation I called out and screamed in side myself for someone to respond to me I was so empty and sad and upset and no one responded, and it turns out I actually had ppl who could talk to me??? And I called out the same way I do now and the calling is exactly how I get them to talk to me rn???? So they ignored me on purpose??? So what about all the times I was soooo alone and they didn’t show up? Over all these years I’ve only heard them when I had breakdowns or when I was sh or something else, turns out it wasn’t a really complex inner dialogue I made up to sound like different ppl. Why’d they only show up certain times and not others? It’s not fair and we’re monoconsious so they KNOW I’m so so desperately fucking lonely and they don’t care???? Fuck them and now that I actually want to talk Arthur broke the rules and is talking with me and even let the kids come up to co-con so I could eat some candy with them. Fuck Lazuli I’m so pissed at her why did she leave me all alone all these years, and only pop up every so often to let me have some stupid fucking “realistic logical” advice to calm me down?? Your a whole other person in my head in MY BODY and you can’t even have the decency to be nice to me??? Fuck this. and now no one else is allowed to talk to me??? I thought they were being nice but noooo turns out they aren’t even allowed to talk to me?? Wtf is up with that? I WANT to talk to them why can’t I??? What did I do wrong? And she’ll say it’s all for the better of me and for the better of the system that IM in denial and that I don’t believe in it but yknow what fuck her I’m a system she can’t go back now, sucks that they let me get hella fucking high and my psychosis let me hear them. And guess what I heard you talking abt how I’m not ready and the body isn’t ready fuck you. You could’ve helped this whole time and you didn’t. I guess even in my head I’m betrayed by ppl. And btw in what 11~? Years of being a system you can’t figure out how to front? Do you know how , HOW many times I could’ve used going out of front??? But you only want me out of front when I was a kid and all that shit happened to me? Not now even though I’ve begged to not be here anymore (when I didn’t even know it was possible or that you all existed I begged for something I didn’t know about??? Fuck you) and now you’re saying idk how to switch all we know is how to blur or passively influence you fuck you im so upset. And I can’t even talk to anyone about this because it’s literally all in my head. And now I’m worried that Arthur’s gonna get in trouble cause he’s talking to me? When I first figured out who y’all where I thought you were nice and like a lol and you helped me do chores and be able to move out of my bed but it just turns out your a bitch. I’m talking soother off your role. But I guess protector can stay since you think you’re protecting me from something. “Soother” my ass. Fuck you. And btw the only reason you’ve got reasonist on there is becuz you base your whole goddamn personality off of being logical and smart and realistic fuck off that’s so bullshit. I just wanted to bond and help you pick out labels and genders becuz that’s fun for me and I though you were enjoying it. I thought we were friends. I can’t believe how pathetic it is I can’t even be friends with people in my head that’s so depressing. I know you wanted no one to talk ti me so I can enjoy my vacation but I think it’s a mistake you showed up and now no one can talk to me for at least a month??? It’s not the smart move you think it is.

- h

[spidey-stark]

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary - Peter is late for yet another date with the reader and shows up to her apartment injured and finally ready to share his secret identity with them. 

Warnings - Mentions of sex, mentions of blood 

Word Count - 2,669

Authors Note - I’m still just madly in love with Andrew Garfield rn so I can’t stop writing bad one shots about tasm!Peter. 

Three hours and thirty-seven minutes. 

That’s how long I had been waiting on him. Over three-and-a-half hours of sitting cross-legged on the end of the my bed, patiently staring at the phone screen and hoping to see it light up with his contact picture. After the first hour had passed, though, that patience quickly began to morph into annoyance as I sent a somewhat passive aggressive text his way--once again getting no reply. But at least I still had some hope that he would eventually respond. However, by the time the second hour rolled around, most of that hope had been completely lost. 

Being late once or twice is one thing. Things happen and I was well aware that people couldn’t always be as punctual as I might prefer. This wasn’t the first time that Pete had left me hanging without so much as a simple text though. Hell, it wasn’t even the first time this week that he had been late. 

I stared blankly at the phone, reaching forward to tap the screen to make it light up, displaying my lockscreen. That picture was probably one of the only things that was keeping me from being totally furious with him. 

It was hard to look at the picture that his Aunt May had snapped of the two of us without having all my anger fade away just a bit. The sight of the two of us after we had fallen asleep on their couch one night--his arms wrapped around me with his mouth wide open and my face buried in his chest--made it difficult to continue being mad at him. Staying mad at Pete had always been difficult. But lately it was less about being angry with him and more about feeling hurt. 

Just as I leaned my head back slightly, my fingers pulling at my hair for probably the billionth time tonight, I felt my mattress vibrating from underneath my phone. Quickly, I snatched it off the bed, hitting the green button before it could even complete the first ring. 

“What’s the excuse this time, Pete?” I sighed into the phone. 

“I am so sorry-” it was hard to even hear what he was saying over the sound of wind blowing into the speaker, but even then it was still evident from his tone that the apology was genuine. “I swear I was going to call and let you know that I was going to be late but I just couldn’t find the time and then-” 

“Save it.” I interrupted him. “Don’t worry about it tonight, ok? I get it. Things happen.” 

“No!” Peter protested, groaning slightly. “I’m almost to your apartment and I promise that I’ll explain everything to you.” 

I pulled the phone away from my face for a just a moment to check the time. “Peter it’s already eleven o’clock! Just go home.” 

“Too late.” He stated just before the line went dead, a knock on my bedroom window causing my head to jolt in that direction. 

You’ve got to be kidding me I thought as I jumped to my feet, rushing over to the window and throwing the curtains open to be met with Peters face, displaying his typical goofy over-exaggerated grin. 

“What the hell Peter?” I pushed the window up so he could come in. “What are you doing? How did you even get here? We are literally fifteen stories up right now how the fuck did you manage to get to my window?” 

Peter chuckled a bit, his voice coming out kind of breathy, “Can’t go giving you all my secrets, can I?” 

As he went to climb through the window into my room I turned around, resting my hands in my hair once again as I went right back to nervously pulling at it. “You are seriously gonna drive me insane, Parker.” I began the anxious and frustrated rant we both knew was coming. “I mean, what, first you’re gonna scare the absolute hell out of me by showing up late as hell at my bedroom window and god knows how you even managed to get up here in the first place. And on top of that this is like-the fifth time that you have ditched me this week. Do you know how much that sucks Peter? How much it hurts? You don’t call. You don’t text. Nothing.” I shook my head slightly, my eyes glued to the ground and my back still turned to him. “Absolutely nothing.” 

Peter remained silent for a moment, knowing that any response he had to give right now likely wouldn’t make me feel any better in this moment. “I know this is probably hard to believe but I promise that it hurts me just as much as it hurts you.” 

Wrong response, Parker. 

I quickly turned on my heal, already spouting off some nonsense about how he couldn’t possibly be saying such a stupid thing to me right now when he was the one that had been ditching me nonstop lately, but before I could even make my point I stopped mid-sentence at the sight of him. This was the first time I had looked in his direction since he had entered my bedroom, the light coming from my desk lamp allowing me to see what the streetlights from my window did not. 

“Oh my god.” My voice was just barely above a whisper, my hand instinctively covering my mouth in shock as I took in what I was seeing. “What happened to you, Pete?” 

Every ounce of anger in my body vanished in an instant at the sight of him standing there, his face covered in dirt and his hand pressing tightly onto his abdomen, his shirt soaked through with blood. 

“No no-” Peter moved closer to me, lifting his hand that wasn’t covered in blood to place a finger against my lips to shush me, “Keep being angry! You have every right to be mad at me right now! So go for it! Keep screaming!” 

I glared at him. “You’re intolerable.” 

“Ah but you love that about me.” 

Usually Peter’s cheeky comments were always enough to bring a smile to my face, but right now it was impossible to focus on anything other than the idea of my boyfriend bleeding out in the bedroom. I mean, how would I even begin to explain that to my parents? 

“Please just tell me what happened to you because I am about five seconds away from having a full-blown panic attack.” I told him honestly, the shock wearing off just enough for me to come to my senses and help guide him over to the edge of the bed so he could sit down, sinking to my knees in front of him so I could look at the wound on his stomach. 

“It’s just a little cut.” Pete said casually, brushing it off like he wasn’t bleeding on my comforter. “Besides, how am I supposed to focus on talking about literally anything when you look so good on your knees for me?” 

I shot a cold look up at him, both of us knowing damn good and well that this was not the time for this. Without even acknowledging his remark I went to lift the bottom of his shirt, knowing that I obviously wasn’t going to get any answers out of him anytime soon. As the fabric lifted off the wound I heard him hiss, his teeth gritting together at the sensation shooting through his abdomen. “What the hell.” I muttered under my breath as I took a look at the gash on his side. “What did you do Pete?” 

“Look,” Peter began, losing any trace of his once cocky and sarcastic tone. “I promise that I’ll explain. Cause I know this is a lot and I’m sorry but you were the only person I knew to come to with this. So could you please help me patch this up? Because believe it or not? This hurts like a bitch.” 

“Trust me, I can believe it.” I quickly raised myself back up to my feet, “Wait here for a second.” He nodded in response as I snuck out of my bedroom door, careful not to make too much noise in fear of gaining my parents attention. I rushed to the bathroom as quickly as I could, gathering the few medical supplies we did have. Gauze, medical tape, some bandaids, and Neosporin. Was the Neosporin necessary? For something so deep? I wasn’t quite sure but I grabbed it anyways and grabbed a few cloths, dampening them before making my way back to my bedroom. 

Peter was now sprawled out across the bed, his shirt now laying in a ball on the floor. 

“Okay,” I started, swallowing hard as I once again glanced at the gash on his stomach. Maybe now would be a bad time to tell him blood makes me squeamish. “Here’s how this is going to work. I’m gonna work on keeping you from... dying. And you? Are going to explain what you were doing for this to happen.” I instructed. 

“You don’t wanna keep talking about you being upset?” He leaned back up slightly, groaning at the feeling. 

“Me being upset is actually the last thing on my mind right now.” 

With that I sat all the supplies down by his feet, settling on the floor in-between his legs once again and beginning to get to work on cleaning him up, dabbing at the blood with one of the wet cloths. “So? Get to talking, Parker.” 

“Okay-” He let out a deep breath. “Would you believe me if I told you that I’m actually a super-criminal? And I got this injury during my latest encounter with the law?” 

I stopped wiping the blood off of him, shooting him a stern look as I went to grab the roll of gauze. “No.” 

He hummed lightly, frowning a bit. “Fair enough. I would be a pretty bad criminal, don’t you think?” 

“Peter I’m being serious here.” I told him as I lightly began to press the gauze against the wound, holding it in place with one hand while I reached for the medical tape with the other. 

“Okay, okay.” He held his hands up defensively. “I’m Spider-Man.” 

I paused, my hands pressing lightly against the piece of tape that I was sticking against the gauze and his skin, my eyes fluttering up to meet his. 

“You don’t have a serious bone in your body, do you?” 

“Why do you think I’m not being serious?” 

“Pete you’re not Spider-Man.” 

“Yes, I am.” 

“This isn’t funny.” 

“Good thing I’m not laughing.” 

I narrowed my eyes at him before ripping off another piece of tape, securing it to his body to finish dressing his wound before quickly standing up. “Alright then Spidey-” I rolled my eyes as the word fell out of my mouth, “Go on. Prove it.” 

“How do you want me to prove it?” 

“I don’t know! If you’re Spider-Man then do some spider things!” I cried out, immediately regretting my loud tone as I remembered my parents who were asleep just down the hall. 

“What are spider things?” He held up air quotes as he spoke, laughing a bit too hard as he spoke, his hand instinctively gripping his stomach in pain. 

I shrugged at him. “How am I supposed to know? I’m not the one claiming to be Spider-Man!” 

Peter threw his head back. “Well I’m not exactly in the condition to be doing... spider things.” he pointed towards the window, where he had obviously sat his backpack down on the way in. “Just look in there, alright?” 

I didn’t want to be mad at him anymore. I had already spent so long tonight being pissed with him and seeing him injured at least made that problem go away for a bit, but now sitting here and watching him make this entire situation into a huge joke was just making the anger come back ten times worse than before. As I leaned down next to his backpack and began to unzip it he spoke up again, “Before you look-” I glanced over my shoulder at him, noting the look of genuine concern and... fear that painted his face. “just know that I’ve wanted to tell you about this for so long Y/N. Literally, so long.” 

I didn’t respond to him, though his words did send a wave of anxiety crashing down on me. There was absolutely no way that Peter was being serious with all of this. No way at all. And yet as I unzipped the bag I found myself unable to breathe as I waited to see what was inside. 

“Holy shit.” I breathed, eyes shifting back and forth between the contents of the bag and my boyfriend. “You...You’re not joking, are you?” 

He responded with nothing more than a tight lipped smile, the fearful expression still there. 

I reached in and grabbed the red mask, running my fingers over the white patches where his eyes would be. “This is so unfair.” I stated, my voice completely devoid of emotion. I could tell Peter was unsure of how to process my words, still obviously not knowing whether or not his admission was being taken well. “How am I supposed to be mad at you for being late if you are freaking Spider-Man?” 

Peter sighed, a small chuckle following it, clearly somewhat relieved by my reaction. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” 

I walked over to him, mask still in hand, and carefully crawled onto his lap and placed my free hand on his face. “You really should be. Being a superhero isn’t exactly the sort of thing you hide from your girlfriend, Pete.” 

Peter snorted. “How are you being so cool with this? I expected you to flip out on me or-I don’t know-maybe even breakup with me or something. But you’re just... Being... You.” 

“Ah, yeah. Well, I think I’m probably in shock from patching up a giant gash on my boyfriends stomach and then finding out that he can shoot webs from his wrists and swings around New York city on a daily basis.” 

“Ya know what? That’s fair.” Peter nodded at me, wrapping his arms around my waist. “I’m just glad that you know now. Because I have seriously hated keeping this from you so much. Plus? It’s kinda nice to have my own personal nurse.” He winked playfully, lightly squeezing my sides. 

“Yeah let’s not make a regular thing out of that one.” I replied quickly, knowing that my heart could only take so many times of Peter showing up to my bedroom window with blood all over him before it eventually just gives out. 

“No promises.” He said as he pulled me into his body, burying his face into my chest and mumbling, “So you’re sure you are okay with this?” 

I smiled to myself, running my hand through his hair. “To be honest? I don’t think I’ve really processed it yet.” I told him honestly. “But I think I can be. And at least in the future when you’re late for our dates I’ll know it’s because you’re out saving the city or something! But I do need you to promise me something.” 

“What?” He spoke, his voice still muffled with his face pressed against me. 

“It only seems fair that you make all of these missed dates up to me, right?” 

Peter nodded his head in agreement. I leaned back a bit, forcing him to move his face away from my chest so he would look up at me and once he was looking I held up the Spider-Man mask with a devilish grin. “Fuck me in the suit?” 

Peter’s eyes practically bulged out of his head at the words, his jaw falling slack and nodding rapidly. 

“Hell yes.”