#okay i did it

[flamedork]

a wild ride

[imakemywings]

Analysis of Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth

The Athrabeth is one of those things which spawns endless fandom discussion, but a lot of it seems to misunderstand what's going on in Andreth and Finrod's discussion, which is understandable. There's a lot going on and the language can be difficult. Athrabeth serves two purposes: 1) on a meta level, it is Tolkien exploring the differing fates and beliefs of the peoples of Middle-earth; and 2) on a textual level, Finrod is both having a cultural exchange with and seeking to comfort Andreth about the loss of Aegnor, his brother whom she loved. The two discussions are necessarily tied together, because Andreth's bitterness and anger over the mortal fate of Men (which she believes to be unnatural, imposed on them by Melkor) is tied into her feelings about losing Aegnor.

I want to focus on the relationship we're shown between Andreth and Finrod.

The Cultural Exchange

Finrod first engages Andreth, a wise woman among her people, in a conversation about the beliefs and mythologies of the Beorians. I have often seen Finrod criticized for being condescending here, and while I suppose you could read that attitude into it, I don't. When Andreth accuses the Elves of condescension, of considering Men beneath them, Finrod agrees with her:

"Alas, you speak near the truth," said Finrod. "At least of many of my people; but not of all, and certainly not of me."

He freely admits many Elves wouldn't bother with Men because they do consider them "creatures of less worth." But Finrod is among Men, asking questions about their culture and their belief system, because it interests him. From the very beginning, the story tells us Finrod's interest in Men and their culture is genuine, whether or not Andreth believes that.

Finrod (son of Finarfin, son of Finwë) was the wisest of the exiled Noldor, being more concerned than all others with matters of thought...and he was eager moreover to discover all that he could concerning Mankind.

And he seems to respect Andreth as a keeper of her people's knowledge, even if he doesn't always agree with it. The story very much sets them up both as respected individuals among their peoples, with even the Elves acknowledging Andreth's intelligence and knowledge:

[Andreth] was wise in thought, and learned in the lore of Men and their histories; for which reason the Eldar called her Saelind, 'Wise-heart'.

This exchange between them has always come off as one of deep respect on both sides, to me. It is precipitated by Finrod's grief for the death of Boron, a lord of the Beorians, and his struggle with the seemingly short lives of Men. He and Andreth compare the views of the world of their respective species and share beliefs that each side has in the nature of the world.

A number of things Andreth says Finrod knows are false, because he grew up in Aman, he's met the Valar. But even where he challenges her assertions--such as her belief that Men were not always mortal, but were made so by Morgoth--it isn't done with some effort to triumphantly prove her wrong, but rather advising caution or offering a different perspective.

"Beware of the chaff with your corn, Andreth! For it may be deadly: lies of the Enemy that out of envy will breed hate. Not all the voices that come out of the darkness speak truth to those minds that listen for strange news."

And there is a deep bitterness and resentment that arises around the notion that Morgoth robbed Men of their rightful immortality. It absolutely comes through in Andreth's tone throughout Athrabeth. It must be very easy for mortals to perseverate on this rather than taking mortality as the natural state of being and processing it through that lens. Andreth resents that she is mortal, and she sees her mortality (imposed on her by Melkor) as the reason she could not have Aegnor.

Andreth and Finrod like and respect each other enough to have a discussion/debate like this and still consider each other a friend at the end. Further along, Finrod even suggests Andreth may not be entirely wrong, but is deeply troubled by the notion that Morgoth could be powerful enough to do such a thing. In short, he is listening to Andreth, and while her assertions may not immediately make sense to him, he considers them and how they might impact a person's view of the world.

Andreth too, allows for some flexibility in belief:

"You speak strange words, Finrod," said Andreth, "which I have not heard before. Yet my heart is stirred as if by some truth that it recognizes even if it does not understand it."

While each of them already has their own ideas about the world and their species' relationship with each other and with death and hope, they listen to one another. They aren't simply arguing to prove themselves right--they are having a genuine discussion (which necessitates being willing to oppose each other on some things). Amid the discussion on mortality and the nature of death for Elves and Men, she says this:

"Hope, that is another matter, of which even the Wise seldom speak." Then her voice grew more gentle. "Yet, Lord Finrod of the House of [Finarfin], of the high and puissant Elves, perhaps we may speak of it anon, you and I."

There is some culture clash between them, as some of their views and beliefs are mutually exclusive, but although their discussion gets emotional at some points, it never, to me, feels mean or disrespectful. Here was a clear spot for Andreth to cut off the conversation if she felt talked down to, or upset, but instead she encourages it to continue. They may occasionally get intense with their discussions (Andreth does shed tears at a few points)--and Athrabeth implies in my view that this is not the first of these cultural discussions they've had--but they still like each other.

And that is part of the key to the Athrabeth for me--they are friends.

In the days of the peace before Melkor broke the Siege of Angband, Finrod would often visit Andreth, whom he loved in great friendship...

He comes to her in friendship, and goes out of his way to speak with her about the end of her relationship (whatever it was--the text isn't clear on that) with Aegnor. He opens this talk by asking her about things Andreth is known to be knowledgeable about--paying respect to her wisdom, and regarding her intellect highly enough to even have such a debate. He wants to understand her perspective on the world, and it does shape her reaction to her relationship with Aegnor.

Finally, Andreth, for her part, seems like she would be more than willing to tell Finrod to fuck off if she didn't like him or didn't want to talk or felt like he was being an ass. This is not a soft-spoken person; she is very upfront with Finrod when she wants to be. The fact that she continues to engage him both in the discussion about Mannish beliefs and about Aegnor suggests to me that she also considers him a friend, or at least that she feels generally amiable towards him

Explaining Aegnor's Choice

The other big criticism of Finrod that seems to come out of Athrabeth stems from this effort, which often seems to be a misunderstanding that Finrod is making an argument that Aegnor made the right choice, which is not at all how I read this discussion.

However, before that, I do want to say: Aegnor was not wrong to leave Andreth. There is, to me, an uncomfortable fandom attitude that Aegnor was obliged to stay with Andreth because she loved him, or that he somehow wronged her by choosing not to be in a relationship with her. No one is obliged to be in a romantic relationship they don't want, no matter what the reasons are. That Aegnor loved Andreth does not mean he was forced to be with her. There were other considerations in his life and I don't think it was invalid of him to place those first. Neither is it invalid of Andreth to be bitter about it--especially considering where she starts this discussion.

Andreth, early on, still believes that the reason Aegnor left her is because she isn't an Elf--that she isn't immortal. She talks about how she wouldn't have made herself a burden to him in her old age, how she would have only given him her youth, etc. She is 48 at the time of Athrabeth.

"I was young and I looked on his flame, and now I am old and lost. He was young and his flame leaped towards me, but he turned away, and he is young still. Do candles pity moths?"

You can see here her anguish over her own mortality, which ties irrevocably into her anguish over losing the love of her life. What Finrod tries to tell her is that it was nothing about Andreth that ended it. Aegnor's decisions were not based on his feelings about Andreth or her mortality, but on various cultural factors among the Elves (such as their disinclination to marry during wartime) and his obligations, in his mind, towards the war against Morgoth. Finrod tells her that "if his heart ruled" Aegnor would have run off with Andreth, but that he chose to put his duty above his desire for her.

"Adaneth, I tell thee, Aikanar the Sharp-flame loved thee. For thy sake he will never take the hand of any bride of his own kindred, but will live alone to the end, remembering the morning in the hills of Dorthonion."

He isn't trying to say "Aegnor made the right choice" or "Elves shouldn't marry mortals" but he is trying to give her context for a decision that's already been made. Aegnor is already gone; Finrod is trying to relieve Andreth of feeling that it was somehow her fault, or that she didn't live up to Aegnor's expectations.

"Then why did he turn away? Why leave me while I had still a few good years to spend?"

"Alas!" said Finrod. "I fear the truth will not satisfy thee..."

Here, he gives the explanation about customs of the Eldar and marriage, and about Elves and memory (specifically about how Aegnor, as an Elf, may prefer to dwell in the happiness of their memories rather than proceed to a grim future). Andreth does not seem especially comforted by this. It's understandable. Andreth is very bitter, and not unfairly: She's bitter that her people are mortal while Finrod's are not; she's bitter that this mortality (in her mind) cost her the man she loved; she's bitter that Aegnor left her. Andreth's life has been hard: it's very understandable that she's angry about it. So it makes sense that Finrod's words don't really reach her where she is now. She isn't ready for that; she's still dealing with all of these other feelings. But I do believe that someday, this conversation will mean something to her. Someday, when Andreth is older and has more distance, I think it will mean something to her that Aegnor loved her, and that it was duty, not contempt, that kept him from her.

Finrod does express belief that marriage between Men and Elves is destined to be sorrowful, but this isn't an illogical position from the half of the equation doomed to live on without their partner, or from one of a species who may literally die from grief. Naturally Andreth thinks of how she could have spent her youth with him at least, while Finrod thinks of how much pain Aegnor would have been in as Andreth grew old and neared death.

"I would not have troubled him, when my short youth was spent. I would not have hobbled as a hag after his bright feet, when I could no longer run beside him!"

"Maybe not," said Finrod. "So you feel now. But do you think of him? He would not have run before thee. He would have stayed at thy side to uphold thee. Then pity thou wouldst have had in every hour, pity inescapable. He would not have had thee so shamed."

It is also relevant that they both speak, on this matter, in ignorance. Neither of them has experienced or even seen a marriage of mortals and Elves (none occurs before Finrod's death in Tol-in-Gaurhoth). They are both speaking only from the heart, from what they feel would be true about it. It's also relevant to remember the decision has been made. Finrod is perhaps trying to explain how hard the marriage would have been in part to make Andreth feel better about its nonexistence, because he knows Aegnor will not go back on his choice.

And on some level, Finrod sees that he isn't going to radically change her view on this one visit, and that's when he backs off.

"And what shall I remember?" said she. "And when I go to what halls shall I come? To a darkness in which even the memory of the sharp flame has been quenched? Even the memory of rejection. That at least."

Finrod sighed and stood up. "The Eldar have no healing words for such thoughts, adaneth," he said... He took her hand in the light of the fire. "Wither will you go?" she said.

Athrabeth ends on such a tender note, it has always in my mind contributed to seeing the conversation as an overall positive: that Finrod looks forward to seeing Andreth after death, that he places himself--almost tentatively (and what is the meaning of that em-dash, Tolkien?)!--alongside Aegnor in her future. He knows her time on Arda is short, compared to his own, but he doesn't want this to be the only time their souls have together. It ends with his holding her hand in her grief and giving her this blessing:

"Wither you go may you find light. Await us there: my brother--and me."

This is why I've always seen Athrabeth as such an intimate conversation which speaks to a deep level of friendship and respect between Andreth and Finrod. It deals with a lot of emotionally volatile things, which I think makes people inclined to see either of them (Andreth especially) as upset by the conversation, rather than the issues that they are discussing in it. But to me, again, that they were willing to have such a raw, open discussion with each other speaks volumes about how positively they see each other. They are so clearly trying to reach out to one another from two very different places in the world.

"Yes, Wise-woman, maybe it was ordained that we Quendi, and ye Atani, ere the world grows old, should meet and bring news to one another...indeed, that you and I, Andreth, should sit here and speak together, across the gulf that divides our kindreds..."

"Across the gulf that divides our kindreds!" said Andreth. "Is there no bridge but mere words?" And then again she wept.

They don't always make it, and sometimes they wound, but they are trying. And that counts for something.

[rubbish78]

Pretty. Odd. is the second studio album by American pop rock band Panic at the Disco. Recorded at the Studio at the Palms in Paradise, Nevada with additional production at Abbey Road Studios in London with producer Rob Mathes, the album was released March 21, 2008 on Decaydance and Fueled by Ramen.

[mur-art]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Welcome To The Table - Ben Brainard (Web Series) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Florida/Louisiana (Welcome To The Table) Characters: Florida (Welcome To The Table), Louisiana (Welcome To The Table) Additional Tags: Songfic, Historical References, Period-Typical Homophobia, Great Depression, Pining Summary:

Louisiana's State song is "You Are My Sunshine." Florida is the "Sunshine State." This is not a coincidence.

A.k.a. The alternate history wherein Louisiana wrote his own state song as a love letter to Florida. <3

[gremlinbehaviour]

I have the Amazon page open for the cane I want and I have no idea why I’m so hesitant to just press order. Internalized ableism, probably. So here are some affirmations about it: It’s a folding cane with butterflies on it and will hopefully actual be small enough to fit me. It costs less than I spend on a typical craft store trip. I don’t have to use it if I feel too weird doing so. I am not taking resources away from other people. It will hopefully decrease my pain, increase my mobility, or at the very least make me more comfortable asking for other accommodations. Why does this feel like such a big decision it’s literally just a purchase of an item

[clockworkouroboros]

Goncharov (1973)

A ploy from the early years of the War, Goncharov (1973) is a mafia film directed by Martin Scorsese and the unknown Matteo JWHJ0715. Or maybe it wasn’t. The film is of importance in two ways: first, as the last attempt the Hollywood cabal made at creating a memetic device through film; and second, as the ultimately successful memetic device imagined by Michael Brookhaven after he rebranded the cabal as Faction Hollywood. 

While Brookhaven promoted the ideal of a “single striking image,” earlier iterations of the Hollywood cabal adhered to the ideal of the “underlying theme.” Whereas Brookhaven rebuilt Faction Hollywood as a brand, his predecessors preferred more subtle, subliminal approaches to the Faction and to film. Goncharov is perhaps the only film that attempts both approaches at once, although much of its success in these areas are because of consequent meddling from Brookhaven or his underlings.

Scorsese himself was aware of the Hollywood cabal, but never joined it. Goncharov’s influence and success as a memetic device, then, is directly the result of his collaborator, JWHJ0715, a little-known member of the group who likely requested full initiation into Faction Paradox shortly after the film’s release. 

As a means of introducing ideas, Goncharov is relatively simple: its underlying themes of betrayal and corruption are easy for the casual viewer to notice, but the ticking clock heard throughout the movie creates a subliminal effect on the audience, sending ripples out through society and creating both a hypnotic fixation on the film, and an irrepressible tendency towards corruption and betrayal. This is easily seen in the concurrent history: infamous for its long stay in Production Hell, Goncharov was almost never released, and a director’s cut of the film was shown to then-President of the United States, Richard Nixon in May of 1972. That same summer, five men working for Nixon broke into the headquarters of the Democratic National Committee.

Goncharov was met with acclaim from critics, praising it as the “greatest mafia movie ever made.” It broke box office records, scandalizing both the press and the general populace. After its deliberate snubbing at the 1974 Academy Awards, JWHJ0715 vowed to never make a movie again, and became a fully-fledged initiate of Faction Paradox, in which he was tasked to go back in time and kill himself as a child. Scorsese was alive, while JWHJ0715 had lived and never lived at the same time, placing Goncharov in a unique position regarding temporal causality.

Brookhaven took over the Hollywood cabal in 1977, only four years after Goncharov’s release and only three years after JWHJ0715′s initiation. After rebranding as Faction Hollywood, Brookhaven or one of his associates turned to Goncharov as a new project to resurrect.

What had once been a simple device used to control and foment certain attitudes in the population became a device powered by memes that gave Brookhaven and, indeed, Faction Hollywood in general, unprecedented power in filmmaking and production. Like much of Brookhaven’s work in Faction Hollywood, Goncharov was not necessarily used for a greater purpose within Faction Paradox, as Faction Paradox essentially abandoned the cabal after the 1940s. Ever the opportunist, Brookhaven took Goncharov and used it for his own personal gain.

With the initiation of JWHJ0715, Goncharov became a film that existed on the fringes of reality. This gave it limited use for Brookhaven, but as the War progressed and causality became more fragile, Goncharov and its legacy reawakened in the public’s subconscious. While the actual film could not be viewed, people began remembering the effects of the film. Discussion, critique, and analysis of the film sparked a new wave of memetic energy, giving Brookhaven more power to shape Hollywood and its future. One could argue that with Goncharov, Brookhaven was also shaping its past. 

[spectres-fulcrum]

I just read Thrawn and Eli's scene before the battle where Thrawn assigns the tie defenders to Eli because Dobbs trusts Eli and says he's certain Eli won't let him down. Tells Eli to ask about the project he's working on.

And I could be wrong but I have a sick feeling this is their last ever meeting before-before Ezra space whales Thrawn. And I can't

Can't turn off this chapter. Can't rip them apart. For 12 years. I can't do that to Thranto.

But I have to. Because even if I don't turn the page Zahn already did. Filoni already did. But we got the gorgeous 15 years of bonding. Their trust and support. Their loyalty.

And they'll meet again one day. And maybe, then, maybe their paths will once again stay joined.

[ladykissingfish]

*at a meeting* Pein: Alright, since we have seemed to have had trouble expressing ourselves as of late, I’d like to introduce to you all the concept of colored bracelets.

Kisame: Colored bracelets?

Pein: Yes. There is a small tag written on each one that indicates what mood each color represents, for example sad, angry, hungry, etc. Wear these when you feel as though you can’t properly communicate yourself to your fellow Akatsuki members.

Deidara: Wait, there’s no — *picks up a yellow bracelet and uses a red marker to color over the beads, turning it orange*

Tobi: Orange, Senpai? What’s that supposed to mean?

Deidara: Horny, hm.

The others:

Tobi:: And w-why does orange mean this for you??

Deidara: *stares pointedly at Tobi’s mask while licking his lips* No reason …

Tobi:

Tobi: … so which color means “scared” again?

[praetorqueenreyna]

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[thedarkestgreys]

✨year end fic review✨

tagged by @muserepeats and @luuver3 💕 thanks friends!

whats your ao3 account?

thedarkestgrey

how many words did you write in total in 2022?

the very stupid number of 252,903

how many fics did you publish in 2022? how many were multichapter vs one shots?

eleven all together. three completed multi-chapters, three wip/on-going multi-chapters and five one-shots.

what was your longest fic? your shortest?

longest : your violent overnight rush (141,867 WIP) shortest: 'till our wide eyes burn blind (938 on-going)

what was your most popular fic? what was your least popular fic?

lol by the numbers we can just repeat the above answer in the same order. YVOR is very, very close to not only being my most popular of 2022 but my most popular of all time by the numbers, in like a fraction of the time? it blows me away tbh. with TOWEBB, like, I didn't expect much from it really, it's less than 1k and it's just a little bit extra from an existing fic. it was still fun to write out a backstory idea from the hades/persephone verse i created though!

what fic didn't perform as well as you thought it would?

i only have one chapter of it posted, but don't you dream impossible things? has under performed from kinda what i was expecting i guess? idk its hard to say these days, a year post the season coming out while in a hiatus until who knows when means that it's really only the diehards still around for the time being, so i'm lowering my expectations here folks.

what fic performed way better than you expected it would?

all of you, all of me (intertwined) Desert!Fexi for sure. It was just a chance for me to write about T-Town and y'all ate that shit up. i think they will make a comeback sometime in 2023 when i'm not so busy with a billion WIPS like rn?

what was your favorite fic you wrote from 2022?

I think at this point we all know how I feel about YVOR. that fic is my child. BUT!!!! the stray lines that unwind you is probably what I go back and reread the most out of everything I've published in this last year. maybe ever actually? it was just a fun little slice of life to live in when i wrote it and has some of my favorite fexi interactions i've ever written.

what was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

oh so many. the talent in this fandom is beyond.

i will scream about And no drugs for Lexi Howard, bye. by @changeyourwholepitch to anyone who wants to listen to me. it's just perfectly smutty and delicious. i think about inspiration point by @actnatural-ly a fucking lot too. and Someone To Watch Over Me by @muserepeats never fails to fuck me up. i would be remiss to not point out that i love so many fics from @myztify. and also to remind @calculated2stagger that she makes me want to retire 😘 (yall its a joke okay?)

tag your friends to do this year end fic review as well!

@sarahcakes613 @takearisk-ao3 uhhhhhh idk who hasn't done this yet?

[justaz]

why I think know Sally Jackson is a descendant of venus:

have you seen her?

case closed.

[sarcasticsunshine123]

quick how to tell my roomates to shut the fuck up

[125storejuice]

.

[alongtidesoflight]

I posted 11,241 times in 2022

212 posts created (2%)

11,029 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@lyriumrain

@niceferatu

@clusterfxckedbysirens

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@bluepriestess

I tagged 11,154 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#q - 10,144 posts

#random - 7,091 posts

#about me - 1,795 posts

#fav - 413 posts

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#tes: v - 60 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#you're both walking the same shitty cishets will use this against you either way mile the least you can do is leave each other in peace lol

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I was only mostly dead. Try finding that on government paperwork. | Cerberus Version [x]

420 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#4

legionnaires am i right

757 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

#3

same old energy, baby

813 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

#2

Remember when we first met in Kvatch? I told you that I didn't want any part of the gods' plan. I still don't know if there is a divine plan. But I've come to realize that it doesn't matter. What matters is that we act. That we do what's right, when confronted with evil. That's what you did at Kvatch. It wasn't the gods that saved us, it was you.

903 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

now you see me standin’ in the lights, but you never saw my sacrifice or all the nights i had to struggle to survive

1,125 notes - Posted July 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[werethey]

(link: tiermaker. com/ create/ ultimate-star-trek-character-tierlist-18759)

[myclericalromance]

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.