#okay i really have to answer things here.

[aperrywilliams]

That Wasn't Fake (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Request: Can you write a Spencer fic where the reader is kind of quiet and shy when she begins working at the BAU, and Spencer has a crush on her, and then they have a case, and she has to like to seduce the unsub lowkey and everyone kind of like...how is she going to do this shes not very outgoing but when she does shes really good at it, and everyone is surprised and impressed.

Summary:  You're shy and reserved. Spencer has a crush on you, and unbeknown to him, you have a crush on him. Maybe the cat can get out of the bag when you have to step aside of your comfort zone to catch an elusive unsub.

Word Count: 4.2k (no self control here)

Warnings: Words like 'fuck' and 'bitch'. A rant about self-doubt. Typical CM stuff: unsubs, killings, etc.

A/N: Another request I loved! It should have been a little shorter, but I'm having a hard time getting to the point these days. Please keep sending requests!

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Spencer knows it is inappropriate, but he can't help it. You're coworkers, and that itself sets a boundary, so he shouldn't be thinking of trespassing.

But the crush he has on you seems to grow every day.

He doesn't know if it is your beautiful smile, the kindness you show in everything you do, or the enthusiasm you put into every task you are committed to. Since the moment he saw you pass the bullpen glass doors, Spencer knew he was damned.

From that moment, Spencer knew he wanted to know you and learn everything about you. About what you liked, what you hated, and what your fears and dreams were. Everything.

But not much after that revelation in his mind, he understood it wasn't going to be easy to get to you.

You were extremely shy and reserved.

In fact, your first interaction - when Emily introduced you both - consisted of a wave of your hand and a timid 'nice to meet you.'

He thought as time went by, you would loosen and become less bashful and quiet. And in part, he was right. As the months passed, you began to feel more comfortable within the team. You laughed at Luke's jokes, you commented on Rossi's stories, and you could even - when the stars aligned - crack a joke yourself to Tara or Matt.

But beyond that, no one knew much about your life outside of the BAU, unlike JJ, who always talks about her kids and her husband, or Matt, who talks about his kids, too. Or Tara, who recounts her failed dates. Or the same Luke who always shows photos of Roxy.

You, on the other hand, seemed to be an enigma. But Spencer Reid loved decoding enigmas.

At first, he turned his interest in you out of mere scientific curiosity. However, internally, he knew it wasn't just that.

It started with small random questions about the times you worked together: Is this coffee okay? What was the last book you read? Do you think we should buy some donuts for the team?

If you were honest, it picked your interest why, from all people, Dr. Spencer Reid was so adamant in making conversation with you.

From what you knew and from what the team said, Spencer was not a person very interested in things other than work or books. But suddenly, out of nowhere, he asked you what the last movie you saw was or something like that.

You always answered his questions; however, you would have liked to be much more talkative and engage in longer conversations, but your nature stopped you.

'What if I don't have anything more interesting for him to say?'

'Does he just talk to me because he feels sorry for me?'

And that was the big issue: you have never had problems with the way you live your life. You're pretty satisfied with what you do in your job and out of it, too. But you have always thought you are too 'simple' to entertain people's interest.

And to be honest, being surrounded by people with so much experience and big things happening in their lives still intimidates you a bit. So, you usually refrain from talking too much about yourself or anything for that matter.

But with Spencer, things are a bit different. He's always checking on you but respects your boundaries. He has learned that sometimes you just don't want to talk, and he doesn't push.

Despite his interest beyond the professional, Spencer would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Being able to share time with you will have to be enough for him.

In a way, he has become your protector. He is your backup during interrogations or in situations where you can feel awkward, like the times when some police officers tried to flirt with you and got too close. Sure, you know how to turn them down, but sometimes guys don't get the memo and keep pushing. You're too shy to yell or be aggressive about it.

The team also understands the way you are, and they know it does not make you any less professional. However, they have always been careful not to take you too much out of your comfort zone.

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A whole two weeks and five murders later, the team is stuck trying to catch an unsub who has preferences for killing women after club nights. The profile says he is not interested in just any woman but in those between 25-30 years old who like to flirt with several men in the clubs. But it is not just any type of flirting; it is the type that is initiated and dominated by them. In short, he likes to kill women who are the opposite of submissive. He sees them as predators on a hunting ground.

Another finding in victimology is that the women he kills, in addition to having a specific age range, have very similar physical characteristics. And similar to you.

All his victims have your build, eye color, hair color, and height. It gets to be creepy to a certain point. And it's something difficult to ignore.

Bouncing information and possible strategies, the team agrees they need to be proactive to get him to show up before another killing happens.

"Okay, what options do we have?" Emily asks.

"The witnesses haven't gotten us anywhere," Luke complains.

"Although we've narrowed down his hunting grounds," Rossi shrugs.

"Yeah, we know the clubs where he likes to hunt," JJ backs Rossi.

"But although the profile, we have yet to learn about what to look for there. I mean, we know what the unsub wants, but not how he looks like." This time, it's Tara who speaks.

You've rarely seen Emily bite her tongue when she wants to say something, but it's clear that she has something on her mind, and she doesn't know how to put it, or maybe the problem is something else. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and she looks back at you; what do those eyes say? They look like they're even apologetic.

It's a fraction of the time before she comes back to behave like herself.

"We need to lurk him. It's the only way," she says. And everyone's eyes - yours included - are on her immediately.

"Lurk him?" Matt repeats.

"Yes. And all we know who should be the one going undercover to do that," Emily adds, looking at you this time.

That's it—the elephant in the room.

Of course, you're the ideal candidate. Well, you're perfect in the physical aspect because if we talk about the victim's personality and yours...

There's silence in the room, and you can feel like the team's eyes are all on you.

Do they expect you to say no? To refuse? From your perspective, it's not a question; it's more like the option you all have to catch the guy.

"It's true (Y/N) would be the closest to the unsub type, but there are a lot of things to take into account," Matt says. And you know perfectly well what's behind his words, even if he doesn't say it directly.

And that's okay; it's perfectly plausible they have their doubts. It is not enough to look like the victims for the operation to work.

But if there is one thing you are sure of, it's that you will always give your all to your job, even if that means becoming a completely different person.

"I can do it," you mumbled so quietly that if the AC weren't in the lower setting, people wouldn't have heard you.

"But (Y/N), you know about this guy. It's dangerous," Matt points, a frown on his face.

"Not to mention he likes rough interactions," Luke adds.

"You don't have to do it if you feel uncomfortable." This time, it is JJ who voices her opinion. And you know, that's the closest reason to the team's main concern.

And the fact you can blow up the entire plan.

Spencer stays in silence. Internally he's freaking out thinking of you having to lurk on the unsub, but he knows you are a professional. And he feels a kind of deja vu.

When he was younger, the team would have said the same about him doing something like that. Spencer knows what it's like when people baby you, making you feel insecure. Sure, he hasn't had to worry about that anymore. Spencer is almost forty, and no one would dare to tell him he can't do something. Not after all the things he has been through.

"JJ is right, Bella. You don't have to do it. We can think of another way," Rossi backs JJ.

That's when Spencer notices the slight frown on your face. It's invisible to everyone but him. He knows it's there.

You stay collected, even when everyone on the team has something to say about how bad the idea of you going undercover to lurk the unsub is.

Emily is who stops everyone's rant.

"Guys, hey. If (Y/N) is telling us she can do it, we're going to do it. Of course, we'll be there to back up her and catch this unsub."

And this is how the discussion is settled.

Emily sends everyone out with a task to prepare for the night. Today is Friday, and the unsub will surely be stalking some new victim. The chances are high.

When it's just you and Spencer in the room, he still looks at you in silence.

"Do you also think I'll not be able to pull off this mission and I'm going to ruin everything?"

You downcast your gaze, exhaling deeply.

"No. I don't think that," Spencer clarifies, and you raise your gaze to meet his eyes. "You are more than capable, (Y/N). The team is worried because you'll be out of your comfort zone in a dangerous situation."

"The team? Not you?" You narrow your eyes to him.

You try not to sound accusatory, but if you're as scared as everyone, you also are fed up with the other's doubts.

Spencer closes the distance between you both but doesn't invade your personal space.

"Of course, I'm worried too! I don't want anything bad to happen to you. But I trust you and your judgment."

Your heart does flip-flops, and you're not sure if it's because Spencer is worried or because, despite that, he trusts you—or both.

"You do?" You ask, not so convinced.

Spencer nods and smiles at you.

"And we'll be there when you catch the guy."

If that is the reassurance you need, you don't mention it. Instead, you grin at Spencer as a promise you'll do your job just how you are supposed to.

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You insist on getting ready in your hotel room. The only assistant you ask for is Emily. She was the one who trusted you first in this, so you'll take every piece of advice she can give you before this night starts.

Everyone has a role in the plan.

Rossi will be the chauffeur who will drive you to the club.

Luke and Spencer would be in the club, mingling with the patrons. JJ, Matt, and Emily would be in the van monitoring the whole situation with cameras and earpieces. Rossi would keep his facade as a driver so he could be at one of the entrances. Tara would be at the club, too, eyeing nothing suspicious going on in the bar because there is a chance the unsub is getting help from the bartender.

When you are in front of the mirror applying the last touch of makeup, Emily is looking at you with a stare you can't decipher.

"What?" you ask, and Emily chuckles.

"Please, don't take this in a bad way, but I never thought I would live the day of seeing you using clothing like this. And Jesus, you look so hot!"

Your cheeks redens.

"It's a little bit odd coming from my boss, don't you think?" you muse, smoothing the fabric of your dress.

"Point taken," Emily raises her hands in defense. "Although I know someone who is going to run out of breath after seeing you."

You let out a scoff. It's not a surprise for you. The BAU girls - boss included - have been trying to set you up with Spencer since forever. You don't entertain the idea only because you don't think it's possible and not because you don't like the concept.

"Come on, don't say that. You are not helping to my nerves."

"Sorry, I'll shut up. We should go, though," Emily says, checking her watch.

One of the SUVs drives you to the van parking point. You needed to review the operation details.

At the back of the van - or commander point - JJ, Luke, Tara, Rossi, Matt, and Spencer see you come up with Emily.

For the best US profilers, they're not doing a good job hiding that they are gawking at you. Surely, no one imagined seeing you in such a revealing outfit. Outfit that, without a doubt, suits you extremely well, highlighting all your body attributes.

Spencer feels like he died and was resurrected after seeing you.

"Okay, guys, we need to check the details again," Emily announces.

The plan is in motion, and everyone is in position.

As expected, you arrive with Rossi at the club, who opens the door for you and helps you descend from the car. Rossi gives you a reassuring smile before letting you go.

Like a switch, you are no longer the shy SSA (Y/L/N). Now you are the woman who is going to take what she wants and attract the unsub attention doing that.

Your walk is determined, and your eyes send out flames of confidence to those who look at you. The music is very loud, something that would usually bother you, but not now. This needs to feel like your environment. That's how you like it, you tell yourself.

Almost instantly, you start to attract the looks of men who are eager for a woman like you.

You exude determination, and you don't go unnoticed.

Walking into the club, you make brief eye contact with Luke, who is on the dance floor. You see Spencer perched in a booth, nursing a beer.

At the same time, Tara is stationed at the bar.

"Remember (Y/N); the unsub expects the woman to approach men. The flirt needs to come from you," Emily reminds you by the earpiece hidden in one of the earrings you're wearing.

"Show time," you mumble to yourself.

You walk seductively to the dance floor, where a young man is dancing with a blonde. You approach and whisper something in his ear. That makes the boy completely lose interest in the blonde and start dancing with you. You smile and cling to the man's body, who wastes no time and takes your hips as if they were his possessions.

That dance certainly has nothing innocent about it. You continue whispering things in the boy's ear, and he looks more and more excited. Once you consider it a reasonable amount of time to have attracted attention, you leave the boy alone and head to the bar. Just a few meters away from Tara, a suspicious man is staring at you. You see him out of the corner of your eye as you order a drink. When the bartender passes it to you, you make subtle eye contact with Tara, who nods, indicating that the drink is clean.

You look next to you and see another man not so subtly looking at you. You know the unsub's profile, and you can't be intimidated or dominated by another man. You are the one who calls the shots. Otherwise, this will not work.

Before the man makes his attempt to seduce you, you turn to him, and with a penetrating look and disdainful voice, you stop him.

"Sorry, honey. Don't waste your time. You're not my type," and with that, you leave to move to the opposite side of the club. The guy huffs, and you're almost sure hearing him call you 'bitch' under his breath.

JJ, who's following the cameras inside the club, sees someone who looks suspect.

"Hey, this guy has been peeking at (Y/N) the entire time, and look, he clenched his fists when (Y/N) turned down that guy at the bar."

Emily confirms JJ's observation before giving you the next instructions.

"(Y/N), you're doing great. We have a possible target. So we need to raise the bet."

You know exactly what Emily means. You both had talked about the strategy to follow, having more details about what you should do than the rest of the team.

Matt and JJ look confused at each other but say nothing.

Your next step is to find another dude to seduce before delivering the coup de grace.

Luke and Spencer keep an eye on you. And while Luke is pleasantly surprised by your audacity, Spencer can't help but feel his stomach tighten. He tells himself it's because he is afraid something bad could happen to you, but inside of him, it's that and the fact of seeing you flirt with other men.

Just like you did with the guy on the dance floor, you attract the attention of another man; this time, you take his hand and pull him to the dance floor.

JJ and Matt's jaws drop to the floor. If Tara, Luke, and Spencer could do the same without giving themselves away, they would have done it, too.

As if it were your second nature, you laugh and move to the music. The man seems to enjoy the moment so much that he takes a bold step by leaning in to kiss you. You let him get closer until his lips are almost on yours. But before touching each other, you pull back with a malicious smile.

"Naughty boy. I'm who says if you can kiss or no," you pout, faking disappointment. Dizzed, the guy cocks his head and sees you walk away.

Matt chirps now. "It's him. Look boss," he tells Prentiss, pointing to the same guy JJ saw before.

There is no longer any doubt that it is him. Now you just have to catch him red-handed.

"(Y/N), we got him. It's time for the last play," Emily tells you.

With Emily's instruction, you go to the bar for another drink before heading over to where Spencer is sitting.

He tries to play it off, but he has no idea why you're approaching him.

"Is this seat taken, handsome?" You ask, with your drink in hand.

"N- no. Please," Spencer gestures to the booth on his front, but you opt to perch to his side. Spencer thinks he never has been this close to you. He looks at your eyes, and it's like you are a totally different person. It's a little bit contradictory for him, to be honest. He already likes you just as you are, but this version of you? It's driving him insane.

Some resemblance of your true self looks with a kind of curiosity the nervousness on Spencer. You don't think much about it; you assume he's playing the nervous guy who is baffled by you.

The thing is, Spencer isn't playing. He's definitely baffled by you.

"Are you okay?" You ask him, masking your question with a seductive smile.

"Yeah. Are - are you?" Spencer stutters a bit—something that is perfect for the plan but embarrassing for him.

You get closer to him to speak in his ear.

"This was Emily's idea," you tell him before kissing his ear and gently biting his lobe.

Spencer's breath hitches in his throat, and he thinks he's going to pass out any second. You're not doing it better: your heart is also pumping hard from the adrenaline. Of course, you had imagined something like that with Spencer, but only in your erotic dreams. You wouldn't dare do this on any given day.

You keep teasing Spencer, who, despite the nervousness, tries to play along. If this is the closest he will ever have you, he wants to engrave this in his memory.

"Just a little push, (Y/N). We almost have him," Emily instructs by the earpiece.

You swallow as subtly as possible as you wrap your arm around Spencer's neck, pulling him closer to you.

It's only a second between that action and the fact that you're kissing Spencer like it's your last meal.

Spencer doesn't know how to respond, and you were counting on that; it was enough time for the unsub to notice that you were the one who chose her last prey.

When Spencer is about to reciprocate the kiss, you murmur a 'sorry' into his lips and quickly pull away, giving him a disdainful look—which you hope he understands is fake—before getting up and walking toward the back exit door.

As expected, the unsub follows you towards the back door, and while your back is turned, he believes he has the advantage to attack you. What he doesn't know is that Matt and Luke are ready to lunge at him the moment he tries to touch you.

Everything that happens after is too fast.

The unsub is detained and taken to a patrol car while the team gathers around you, congratulating you on the successful operation. They all apologize to you for their previous apprehensions. You tell them that you understand and that there is no need to apologize. And it's like the switch has been flipped again since you came out of the femme fatale role.

But something is wrong. Spencer is not in the group. You see him a little further away, near the exit door of the club. Emily notices the looks between you both, and she sends the team on different tasks to close the case, leaving you and Spencer there.

There's something in his eyes that you can't decipher. You think it's resentment for using him without warning him what you were going to do.

You shyly approach him.

"It's me again," you tell him, pulling a face. You don't know what to say to make the situation better. Spencer nods.

"Yeah. You did it great, by the way," he compliments you. But it doesn't feel good like Spencer's compliments usually do.

"Look, about the kiss back there-" you start. He needs an explanation as a bare minimum.

"I know. It was fake," Spencer cuts you off.

Those words shouldn't hurt you as they do now. But isn't that the most reasonable thing to believe? The you in the club weren't you, so all you did inside was pretend.

Everything except that kiss.

If it's true you couldn't enjoy it the way you would have liked, you will never forget his lips on yours.

A tense silence takes over the moment. This is not okay.

You can't afford to lie to one of the most important people in your life, even if telling the truth takes you out of your comfort zone.

What the hell! Tonight has already been a total of 180 from a usual day for you.

"It wasn't," you mumble, and you see his eyes flicking to yours in a second.

"What?" Spencer asks, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Everything was fake, but not the kiss," you say with a stadied voice this time.

Spencer's heart races again. If you say you didn't fake it, then what he felt on your part at that moment was real?

"It wasn't fake?" He asks for clarification. You nod.

A smirk forms on Spencer's lips, seeing your cheeks redden.

There you are. The girl he had fallen for in the past two years.

"Well, you know that I am a man of science, right?" he tells you, and you frown because you have no idea where this is going.

"I know," you say with some hesitation.

"And as a man of science, I need evidence of things, you know?"

Now, you are the one who smirks at him.

"Evidence, huh?"

"Yep," he says, emphasizing the 'p' and swaying his body on his feet. You hum.

"I believe I can provide the necessary evidence if you need them," you concede, and Spencer's eyes sparkle with excitement.

Now, he is the one who reaches out and cups your cheeks. Your breathing quickens, but that doesn't stop you from standing on your tiptoes and connecting your lips with his.

This time, there is no unsub, no curious eyes are looking at you, there is no rush, there is no femme fatale role, and above all, this is not fake; it's as real as the fact that your heart beats for him, and his for you.

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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers 

[lilghostiequinni]

Not Strawberry

Main Masterlist Lando Masterlist

Pairing: ginger!female oc x Lando Norris

Warnings: Fluffy

Summary: She's been in London the last few years, doing long-distance with her boyfriend in Monaco, but when she's finally able to move in with him, people are shocked to learn Lando Norris has had a long time girlfriend.

Requested: NO / yes

Max had convinced Lando to stream tonight, weeks ago, before Lando knew his girlfriend was going to be moving in, and now, he's regretting it.

Max had met Rowan more than a few times during the relationship, and while he would have allowed Lando to not join the stream, a couple of other streamers were going to be on tonight, all of which Lando had promised to be there.

So, here Lando is getting ready to stream and also not wanting to let his girlfriend go.

"But baby, I don't want to," Lando whines to his girlfriend as he pushes his head into her neck.

"You are the one that promised, and you knew I was moving in this week," Rowan points out to her boyfriend as she runs her fingers through his curls.

Lando groans as he pulls away, whining the whole time to his stream room.

"I'll make dinner as you do," Ro calls after the groaning Brit.

She hears a faint okay from the room as Lando leaves the door open just a crack so he can hear if his girlfriend needs him.

In the kitchen, Rowan picks up her tablet, logs into Twitch, and turns on Lando's stream as she moves around the kitchen, getting everything she needs to make their dinner, which is Traditional Swedish Meatballs with mashed potatoes and roasted carrots and some dessert, which is Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte, or Black Forest Gateaux.

Also, she had been craving her mom's homemade cinnamon rolls, which she stole the recipe for before moving to Monaco.

Lando also made the request for cheesecake as he was bragging to Max about and she was going to make it happen.

She was bored and didn't just want to stand around and wait for Lando to be done.

She was watching the stream as she made the meatballs for dinner.

"Baby, that smells so good," Lando calls out as she gets them frying in the pan.

Rowan smiles at her boyfriend as she watches the chat of his stream go crazy about learning the rumors about Lando having a girlfriend.

Lando realizes what he said and that he didn't mute his mic as he did, and Rowan chuckles at the driver but not entirely loud enough to hear her.

"Yeah, I have a girlfriend and have for the last 5 years, but she was just now able to move to Monaco because of personal reasons. I will not tell you at this moment," Lando reveals as he continues to play with his friends.

"Max, does he really have a girlfriend, or is he just playing?" One of the other gamers asked the driver's best friend.

"Yeah, he does, and she's got some great red hair," Max answers.

The other streamer stopped for a second and looked at the camera, "Is she a natural red or like box die?"

"She's naturally a ginger. She's currently cooking because that's like her favorite thing to do aside from writing her novels," Lando says, still playing the game.

Rowan stands in the kitchen and for the life of her, cannot open the jar of condensed milk.

"Lando," She starts as she knocks on the door of the 'stream' room.

Lando stands and goes to the door and sees his girlfriend with her sad face and an unopened jar of condensed milk; Lando chuckles and grabs the jar and opens it for the girl, then she kisses his cheek and walks back to the kitchen.

Lando goes back to his stream, and the comment is going crazy about why he stopped in the middle of a round to go to the door.

"My girlfriend couldn't open a jar, and I just helped her; it wasn't long. It's fine," It may seem a little snippy, but he doesn't want a big deal made out of something he does for her because he just wants to help.

Lando stays on the stream for a little while longer before Rowan knocks again and says that dinner is done, to which he nods and tells the guys he has to go

Another thing that Lando promised is that while the two go to England to get a few more of Rowan's things, while Lando does some work at McLaren.

Another thing he wanted out of not yet wanting to share his girlfriend with the world, even if he does have to do so for her books.

Lando sits in the car and rests his head on the headrest, "Do we really have to do this?"

"Yes baby, you promised Max," Rowan says to him.

Lando looks at her and takes a moment before getting out of the car and then walks over to her side and opens the car door.

Rowan got out as Max came over, and he pulled the ginger into a hug.

"Ready?" He questions when he pulls away.

"No, I don't want to share," Lando whines as he pulls Rowan to him, and she tucks herself under his arm.

Max chuckles at the answer he got from Lando, and the two follow mate to where they are shooting the video.

"This your girlfriend?" One of the Quadrant members asks when they see the three.

"I thought she was going to be strawberry or box red, not actual ginger," A different member says.

"Not strawberry. Full, natural ginger," Rowan says as they get done speaking.

Lando chuckles at his girlfriend; he can't remember how many times she's said the same line whenever people see her hair color.

A/N: I would like to point out that I don't do Twitch, so let me know if I got something wrong. So, I have a quick question for those being tagged; what other drivers would you like to be tagged in that I have. There's Carlos, Max, Oscar, & Charles. What about F1 ships?

Tags: @poppyflower-22 @samantha-chicago @barcelonaloverf1life @tallrock35 @hellothere9597

If you want to be removed from a tag list, let me know so I don't keep tagging you. If you are striked through, I don't know if you want to be tagged, but just let me know if you want me to continue or stop

[leclercsredhelmet]

The Alchemy ♛ Charles Leclerc

A/N: Hi! I'm back after being away for a bit but I come bearing a gift! I was so unbelievably happy after Charles's Monaco win and inspired to write about so here it is!

“Honestly who are we to fight the alchemy?” 

Monaco is known for being the playground of billionaires among many things. This is the ideal destination if you want to see multi-million dollar supercars and yachts. If you are a fan of the pinnacle of motorsport then you know that the Monaco Grand Prix has been rewarded as the crowning jewel of Formula One and for great reason.

To you, Monaco was much more than a playground for the rich or the crowning jewel of your favorite sport. Monaco was home, the principality held half of your heart. You had not intended to stay here while on a trip fresh out of grad school but by fate’s hand, you now called this place home. As a formula one fan, you always dreamed of seeing the principality and walking its streets. When the opportunity arose you decided to take a little detour to visit the principality. 

Little did you know that the detour would turn into more than one visit during the summer. You were wandering the streets when you ran into your now boyfriend Charles Leclerc. Just now after a few months of dating it still sounded crazy but it was true, your favorite driver had turned into your best friend and love of your life. 

Flashback

Your camera was in hand as you marveled at Casino Square, after taking some pictures you decided to find someone who could point you in the direction of the Princess Grace Japanese Garden. Turning around you found the closest person to you, whose back happened to be facing you, and asked for directions using what little French you knew. It just happened that Charles was that person and once he turned around realization dawned on you. He looked at you and he swore he had just seen the most beautiful girl on Earth. 

He stuttered a little as he gave you directions and you were a little confused so you were just nodding along. “It seems that my French isn’t as good as I expected,” you said with a chuckle. Charles laughed, “It’s okay my English isn’t the best either which makes us even,” he said. “Considering that  I have nothing better to do and could use some peace and quiet, please let me take you,” he said kindly. 

His offer earned him a kind smile from you and a nod, smiling you decided to follow his lead. Surely he had taken you there as he offered and ended up walking through the garden with you while you chatted. “Had I known it was you I wouldn’t have disturbed you,” you said a little embarrassed. Charles looked at you and lifted an eyebrow, “It’s no trouble really, for what it’s worth I’ve had a great time, how long are you here for?” he asked. “Just today, I took a little detour from the group trip which means that I’ve got to head back soon to pack,” you said.  Charles felt his stomach drop, there was no way he was passing up a chance with a girl as beautiful as you. “Let me invite you to lunch before you leave,” he said. He looked at you and dreaded your answer but a grin spread across your face, “Consider your invitation accepted,” you said with a wink. 

He’d bought some pizza from his favorite place and invited you into his apartment where you kept chatting well into the late evening and he walked you to the train station. Unbeknownst to him you had left your number written on a napkin pinned to his bathroom mirror. 

When he found it he couldn’t help but grin and he called you, before leaving Europe you took the train and met up with him for a few hours. Weeks later you were talking and had started your early stages of dating which had to be long-distance. You decided to fly out and surprise him for the Monza Grand Prix. Once the season ended you decided to spend it with him while you waited for news of your job application to arrive. 

Charles was next to you when you found out and had been approved and you mentioned looking for a small apartment in Italy that was within distance from Monte Carlo but he asked you to move in with him instead. 

End of Flashback

“Mon amour, we have to head out!” Charles called out from somewhere in the apartment and you smiled. “Just a second! I’m almost done,” you called out as you slipped on your sandals and grabbed your bag. Meeting him by the front door he kissed you sweetly and you slung Leo’s carrier on your shoulder grabbing his leash on the other. “Who’s an excited boy!” You said as you bent down to pat Leo who was happily barking. “He represents us both,” Charles said with a smile and you grinned. “You got this chérie,” you said reassuringly, he smiled before replying, “I hope so mon amour, we can’t lose this,” he said. “And you won’t,” you added. 

You had to part ways once you left the apartment because Charles needed to get into the motorhome once he arrived. Before parting he pressed his soft lips against yours and kissed you sweetly. As he usually did he kissed your forehead making you giggle and kissed Leo’s head. 

Walking into the hospitality you were instantly greeted by Pascale, “You look gorgeous as ever darling!” Pascale gushed. “You look great as always!” You replied. Pascale kissed your cheeks diverted her attention to Leo and took him from you so you could greet Lorenzo and Charlotte. You stayed there and went down to the garages to wish Charles luck and get the headsets you were always provided with. “I love you, you got this chérie, now go bring that trophy home,” you said after you kissed him and helped him with his gloves, he squeezed your hand three times before leaving to head on track.

Arthur was going to be watching the race from the garage so the rest of you went back up to the hospitality and sat down at the table. You let out a steady breath when you saw that he had finished the formation lap and said a silent prayer as you waited for the lights to go out. Pascale automatically reached for your hand and your eyes were trained on the screen. After the accident on the first lap, the start had to be delayed while the barrier was repaired and the cars were taken out of the track.

Once the race started again you found it difficult to calm your anxieties so you talked in hushed tones with Pascale, Lorenzo, and Charlotte. The entire team he was leading and you could not wipe the grin from your face, on the last five laps you were finding it hard to contain your excitement and the cameras had panned in to show you and you smiled. On the last lap, you were fidgeting with a bracelet while looking at the screen you could feel the cameras on you but you were so focused on the screen. 

The moment he crossed the line and the checkered flag was waved you all erupted in cheers and hugged each other while wiping the tears that were starting to fall. Your thoughts drifted towards Charles and you knew how happy and proud he must be feeling. This win meant everything to him for various reasons and you knew his thoughts had undoubtedly gone towards his father. 

You all gathered under the podium next to the Ferrari mechanics who were holding flags. All of the people standing there were so proud and you had texted his friends who had gathered in the balcony to watch him win and were sharing how proud they were of him. You looked around and smiled knowing that his family, friends, and all those gathered here were so unbelievably proud of him. You clapped once Carlos and Oscar made their way to their podiums, when Charles walked out you cheered as loud as you could and saw Prince Albert crying as well.

Seeing Charles at the top step of the podium, with the flag draped around his shoulders brought you to tears, you knew how much sentimental value this win had for him and his family. Winning this had been Charles and Hervé’s wish and after the previous events in which Charles was close to winning this race and not getting it, you knew that this victory felt a million times better for him and it meant everything.

Your eyes met and you smiled and waved, Charles’s eyes crinkled as he looked down 

at you standing next to his mother and brothers. 

When the anthem started playing you were all singing and you lifted a hand to wipe your tears as you used the other to film. Pascale put her arm around your shoulders and you leaned into her a little, a proud smile spread across her face as he watched her son on the podium he so dearly loved. 

The Italian anthem was up next and you sang along with the mechanics who were waving the flags around. The city that had seen him grow was now watching him win and the pride could be felt on every single corner, chills ran up your spine as you thought about it. Clapping once the podium was over you moved to join the rest of the team who was waiting for him. 

“Where’s the trophy? He just comes running over to me” 

Charles came running towards everyone with the trophy in hand.  “You brought it home!” you exclaimed. “I brought it home!” he shouted and you laughed. Handing the trophy to Lorenzo, Charles placed both hands on your cheeks and kissed you. 

His lips tasted like champagne but they were soft as always, pulling him closer you kissed him again and pulled away to look at his sparkly eyes before pressing your foreheads together. “I’m beyond proud of you, we all are,” you whispered and he nodded and kissed your forehead. 

Lorenzo, Pascale, and Arthur hugged him and you took a picture of the family with a fond smile on your face. Charlotte congratulated him with a hug. The team celebrated the win by hugging him and patting him on the head. The mechanics were singing and you smiled at the joyous scene. 

After the round of pictures and more champagne sprays, you accompanied Charles and the team to the harbor. Everyone cheered when he pushed Fred in and dived after him, you laughed at his perfect diving form and knew he’d ask you later if he had done it right. 

His eyes sparkled every time he smiled and the smile never faltered all through the night. This type of happiness was one of your favorites and you adored to see him like this. It was the time of happiness that you would love to see every single weekend, it was worth every single aspect that came in to make sure a moment like this would happen here of all places. Nothing tasted better than a home win with a deeper meaning.

Charles had endured so many ups and downs to get to this moment and after countless hours of work, and every single amount of passion poured into it the moment was finally here and it was his to celebrate. You couldn’t have been prouder of him and never faltered in telling him the truth. 

The trophy might’ve been in the room but the real trophy had come running over to you and had been next to you all night smiling from ear to ear.

(all photo credits go to the respective owners)

[etz-ashashiyot]

I'm sorry, but actually I'm not over that comment whining about how several of the JVP ritual, uh, practices and bastardization of Judaism are being excluded and how we can't police people's identities.

Actually yes we absolutely can.

[Rant incoming]

Listen, I hate exclusion, alright? Inclusion is always the answer when it comes to people knowing who they are. Every obnoxious identity policing thing in the queer community that has divided us and ripped apart communities has been cruel, counterproductive, given platform to bigots, a distraction from the real issues bearing down on us, and honestly just dumb as a box of rocks. Okay? Okay.

But Jewish identity works differently, because it isn't about YOU. Becoming Jewish is about taking on Jewish culture and religion, a closed ethnoreligious culture, through the narrow path consented to by the collective Jewish people. There IS a path, but it is a highly supervised one. Otherwise it's just appropriation and cultural theft; something Jews have been subjected to for millennia. And if you do legitimately convert you do so because you love the Jewish people - the whole Jewish people - and want passionately to be a Jew for its own sake. You want to join our nation-tribe. You want to join our family.

And the crazy thing to me, the thing that still blows my mind, is that this is allowed! Even after millennia of appropriation, oppression, violence, expulsions, and genocides, Am Yisrael still accepts genuine gerim. It would be so understandable if they had closed the path entirely and tried to shut out outsiders who might bring in danger on their heels even if they themselves were not dangerous.

But they didn't. We didn't. To me this is a miracle, a blessing, and sign of true faith and hope. It is a privilege to be here.

Yet in the same turn, you gotta respect the process! You can't just declare yourself a Jew simply because you feel like it — it doesn't work like that. You can't just declare yourself an Argentinian one morning either without becoming a citizen first, even if you have Argentinian ancestry. And sure, if you do have some of that ancestry, you are connected to the nation, but that's different from being given a vote y'know?

Using a totally unsupervised, totally unsanctioned, brand-new neo-pagan ritual to unilaterally declare your membership in a tribe does not make you one of us. If anything, it proves why you never will be.

Now! Let's assume for a moment that we are referring only to the provably halachic Jews whose connection and backgrounds are beyond reasonable questioning.

You can never really leave the tribe, but you absolutely can apostasize. Plenty of Jews do it. There are plenty of Jews who find that Judaism is not spiritually fulfilling for them but something else is, and they convert out. There are halachic Jews who have walked away from Judaism in order to practice any other number of religions: Christianity, Islam, Neo-paganism, Hinduism, etc.

That is their prerogative, but by doing so they turn away from their people in a serious way and cannot be said to be practicing Judaism. There is of course room for many different types of Jewish practice, but conversely, there are practices that are too far removed from Judaism to meaningfully be considered as such. Otherwise, it's no longer a coherent group identity. And because Judaism is a collective identity, that actually matters.

The Jews as a people have decided that worshipping gods that are not Hashem is not within the realm of Judaism, which is why messianic "Jews" are not practicing a valid form of Judaism even if they are halachicly Jewish and/or have Jewish ancestry. Worshipping Jesus makes you a Christian or at least adjacent. That is a hard boundary.

And yeah — if you change the basic meaning of holidays, if you bring in lots of practices that are brand new and have no halachic or even historical basis, are often highly individualistic, and would not be accepted as Judaism by the vast majority of Jews, then it absolutely falls outside it. If I started practicing a religion that made little icons of Muhammad to pray to once a day and celebrated my ingenuity with pork roast and a nice glass of wine, I don't get to say that I'm practicing Islam.

These people are doing the Jewish equivalent. It is something else entirely. Especially because so many of these practices spit in the face of major tenets of Judaism and go against Jewish values.

To treat it otherwise is to treat it as an absolutely meaningless aesthetic rather than a living breathing ethnoreligious tribe of people who get to decide our own community's boundaries and practices collectively.

And for the naysayers who still disrespect Judaism and Jewish identity and peoplehood so much that they think that they get to define Judaism more than actual rabbis? Look, we can't physically stop you from calling yourself Jewish, but by the same turn, YOU can't force US to recognize you as one of us. You can be mad, but that's the thing about group cultural identities — that cultural group gets to decide whether they claim you or not.

[To be clear: this is not about politics — there are plenty of Jewish non-Zionists and anti-Zionists who are 100% Jewish. This is about this one specific shitty organization and this particular type of behavior.]

[notreallyzofi]

I have to say this on here because i know you fellow unhinged people won't (and can't) judge me for still thinking about this. But I was doing some deep diving into Silverstone 2022 (it's really more shallow diving, there's not a lot). And there's this gif, by countingstars-17, of max and charles's conversation (which is apparently now kind of lost media because ig the vid was taken down and can't be found anywhere except for those gifs).

Obviously when it surfaced, everyone was trying to figure out what Max was saying, but imo not hard enough because most settled on "What? No way," as the answer.

The "what?" is so animated it's indisputable, but look on this third part of the gif set. That's not an exclamation, it's not a statement, it's clearly a question with how he raises his eyebrows, and with that slight headshake/twitch is also a sign that it's a question. Another problem I have with this is that Max mouthes something (not really enunnciated) before the alleged "no".

So here's a hypothesis: Max is saying "are you okay?". And a fact I've tested: "you okay?" and "no way" are virtually indistinguishable unless you enunciate them very properly. Which, for the most part, people say more of a "youkay?" because the vowels blends together.

So my conclusion here is: we'll never know what he said but i've looked at this GIF for long minutes and I think I'm right. Look at that man's facial expression and tell me he's not asking a question. C'mon. Also I just think "No way!" is moreso a shocked thing to say while in this gif the man looks (at least a little) concerned to me.

I could be wrong, though, I dunno. Is this stupid? I mean writing this long of a post over something that ultimately does not matter is for sure stupid, but damn it, I kinda think I'm right and I want some other opinions.

[genericpuff]

You know what do you think of hanza cancelling her own comic that is the guy upstairs? Like for me,I really really hope she's okay. And I know blacklightjack(he make a video about this) and the line he says about artists need to grow a thicker skin is just. I'm sorry like,look I get what he's saying but hanza have to cancel the comic because of toxic shippers. Sure,you can just ignore them and pretend they don't exist but they will still still still annoy you and h*rass you to the point you can't take it anymore and have to cancel the comic because of the whole goddamn toxic fanbase.

(as a Malaysian myself,I need to say this,I really hope hanza is alright. And in my language saya harap dia dapat bantuan Dan menjaga kesihatan sendiri)

So...

sigh I feel like this isn't the answer or essay you expected but I hope you're open to at least hearing it out all the same.

I do not think Hanza handled the situation in a way that benefitted her as a creator or her audience of people who genuinely love her work.

I DO think she was justified to be pissed off with the people harassing her. Those people suck ass and they're the definition of "this is why we can't have nice things."

But like... the notion of "you need to grow thicker skin" is true in being a creator who puts their work out into the world for an audience. Hear me out, this does NOT mean "creators aren't allowed to have feelings". But it does mean that you have to find peace with the fact that there are gonna be weirdos and assholes who take shit too far within your community. You don't necessarily deserve that. But you can't give those people power over you by going scorched earth in the way that Hanza did, because who does it really benefit? Hanza is now out a job and she's soiled her own reputation with her audience by basically going "FINE, because of these few people who were shit, NO ONE gets to have a good time!" And that's just... not a productive or healthy way to deal with these issues because it's just doing what those trolls and shitheads likely wanted. They wanted a reaction out of her, and she delivered it to them on a silver platter.

Like, I think of the dumbasses complaining about Hanza "taking advantage of the dark romance community" (she didn't, she just made a horror thriller comic that they felt entitled to see romance in) and guess what? Now those dumbasses have power over here because she ended the comic and in their heads, I'm sure they're thinking "good riddance". By choosing to not only end her comic, but spoil it entirely for her fans who were there in good faith, Hanza gave power to the people who weren't even a part of her target audience to begin with.

I do think it's ironic if people assume I'd automatically boo the "grow thicker skin" mantra because like, y'all... many of my complaints here are literally about people like Rachel who behave badly with their audience and desperately needed to grow thicker skin. In a lot of ways she's not even reacting to direct harassers, she's reacting to people simply discussing her comic in their own spaces which aren't mean for her. If she spoiled the ending of LO for her fans and ended the comic prematurely, I would feel awful, but... it still would have been her decision at the end of the day that she'd have to stand by and take responsibility for.

I think, at best, if I were to give her any unsolicited advice, she should have just put the comic on hiatus, taken a break, focused on her mental health and given herself enough distance to ask herself if she wanted to continue TGU. Maybe it still would have ended the same way, but at least she would have given herself the time and space to heal and rationalize her choices.

Instead, by choosing the nuclear option of spoiling the series for her readers and axing the comic - just to backpedal and go back to "no no it's just an indefinite hiatus!" - she gave up her power to the people who were harassing her. She reacted in a way that gave them power over her, not herself over them.

And I say this as someone who's currently on an indefinite hiatus with their main project, which I still have not spoiled for the 5 readers I have, despite the fact that I have zero clue when I'll return or if I'll even be able to. Whether or not Cyra and co. break out of the Reaper Society is now a 2 year old question.

I say this all as someone who has been harassed and is still harassed for doing what I wanna do. My first ever webcomic website when I was like 17 used to get emails and comments from shitty classmates and other local yokels who knew of me and wanted to pick fights over a teenager's dumb lil' gag comics. I kept making those comics anyways for myself and for the people who did like reading them, until I was ready to drop the comic on my own terms and move onto my next project, which would be Reaper. Reaper also got a lot of nonsense complaints and harassment. As did my fanfiction projects, as did my digital art, as did everything that I've ever put out into the world through the Internet, because the Internet just sucks for everyone always and then you die 🤣

And now, 10+ years later, I get the occasional "you're a shitty talentless person who isn't gonna amount to anything and yaddayaddayadda" which, to be fair, is a reaction from the folks who are unhappy with my intentions to make a Lore Olympus rewrite comic!

But I'm not going to give them power over me by stopping. I have a story I want to tell and if I stopped telling that story due to the shitty things they had to say and do, then I would be punishing myself and punishing my audience for the actions of a few bad apples. I do not deserve to have those abusive actions targeted at me (though they surely do and that's on them) and I do not have to put up with it, but I genuinely would not be able to live with myself if I gave them power over me by reacting in such an explosive way that my bloody remains land on everyone around me, including the people who were supportive and loved my work along the way.

That said, I also don't know to what extent Hanza was harassed. I've seen people claim she was doxxed, but have yet to see any evidence of that. I have seen people claim she got death threats, but Hanza hasn't shown anything to back that up. I'm going to assume the best of her that the harassment must have gotten pretty fucking bad for her to want to quit, and again, that is justified, and I cannot in any way use my experiences as a way to diminish hers. Maybe she just flat out isn't interested in making TGU anymore which... I can definitely say I relate to that, too.

There's this sort of mindfulness technique in stress and emotional management where you have to recognize that other people's actions are NOT your responsibility, but your REACTION is, because your reaction is what you can control and have power over.

Rachel Smythe finished LO in spite of what wackjobs like me said (and still say) about her and she has power in that perseverance, power that wackjobs like me cannot and *should* not try to take away from her.

mongie decided Webtoons was not suited for her work and vision and decided to put the comic on hiatus until she could get her distribution rights back and continue Let's Play on another platform. She has power in that decision and integrity, power that Webtoons cannot take away from her.

Whether or not you like my work, whatever opinion you have of it that you're entitled to, I have power in knowing that I started a project that I now love dearly and can take pride in, and has brought closure to people like me who were left disappointed by LO. I have power in that stubbornness and refusal to let other people determine what I'm capable of.

Even if you remove the external influence of the audience from the picture, we all have power as creators that we need to harness and take ownership in.

By going nuclear and spoiling her comic for her audience and ending it entirely, Hanza may have gotten the short term satisfaction of turning the school bus around to go back home, but she still disrespected herself and robbed herself of her own power as a creator which will ultimately stick with her far more than it will the harassers who will inevitably move on to some other target and forget she even existed. And that's a decision that she has to live with.

The harassers got under Hanza's skin and gave her more than enough reason to feel frustrated. But they did not choose to spoil and end the comic. She did. And she is ultimately the only one who will have to live with the consequences of that.

I do hope she's okay and that she's getting the time and space she needs to heal from this. If this truly is the outcome that she feels gives her the most power and the ends justified the means for her, I hope she found strength in it, regardless of the opinions of people like myself that ultimately should not matter to her. I hope the people harassing her get what's coming for them whether it be actually getting called out or just the universe delivering karmic retribution on them. I hope Hanza can find joy and peace again either in TGU or whatever project she pursues next. But most importantly, I hope she finds the confidence and power she needs to stick to her guns and create what she wants to create, unapologetically.

"Growing thicker skin" doesn't mean we as creators have to be comfortable with abuse - it just means we need to do ourselves the honor and favor of making decisions that give ourselves power rather than giving it away to the abusers who do not have to live our lives at the end of it all.

And that is my very big bag of cents on that.

[lovedrruunk]

'Mango Letters ♡⸝⸝💌⊹˖➴

Venture (Overwatch) x GN Reader

[Established Relationship!]

Authors note!!!; DID U MISS MEEE??? also...IM SO SORRYYY!!!! BUT I THINK IM JUST GONNA START WRITING WHAT I WANT :((( i realized im sososo bad with requests like genuinely ughhhh!! Ill def do some every now and then tho! Anyways im just clearing out my drafts cuz I’ve come to the realization that this is literally tumblr and my posts don’t have to be perfect lmao, enjoy!!

75 days 18 hours 46 minutes and 3 seconds. That's how long it had been since you've seen your partner Sloan. Being with them you knew how devoted they were to their work and how much it required them to travel but on pretty days like this one when the weathers just right and the flowers are in full bloom and the sunset is the perfect hue of orange, you couldn't help but wish they were by your side.

And although they were thousands of miles away they always made sure to send you physical manifestations of their love.

Through love letters of course!!!

It had been a tradition ever since they had started going on longer expeditions for them to send you things in the mail. So there in your shared closet in a cute little shoebox on the top shelf, laid all their feelings on coffee stained papers. Little crystals the same color as your eyes, maps with all the places they wanted to take you, polaroids of them doing silly faces, and your favorite part, the sweet scent of mango that came with it all.

And so although they weren't by your side, their feelings were. Their longing, their excitement, their thoughts, all in the palm of your hands covered in all types stickers and doodles.

Sitting outside on the porch of your shared home enjoying the calm breeze you smile holding the most recent letter delivered. Inhaling deeply catching the hints of mango as you carefully open it.

Dear Beloved,

It's been so looong!!! I can feel myself aging without you! Hope this letter finds you well! Notice how I used "beloved"? Fancy huh? Arn't I just the most romantic partner ever? (don't answer that.) This is my fifth time trying to write this and it's annoying the crew so this is my last chance before they jump me... It's just so hard y'know!? It has to be perfect. Perfect for you. Is that cringe? That was cringe sorry! I miss you lots and I think about you all the time... You'd love Petra! A camel ate my shemagh... but It's whatever. I'll buy a new one tomorrow, I'll get one for you too so don't worry! Now that I'm thinking about it the days seem to be going by pretty slow and I'm not sure if I like it much. Like I said I miss you a lot and it stinks being away from you for this long. Can't you just book a flight over here? Can't you do that for me pretty pleaseee? That's ridiculous? Okay just say you hate me and never want me to come back, just say you don't love me at all and want me to get stuck in a cave foreva. Just kidding! or am I?... (I am! >ᴗ<)

I like to imagine you’re missing me really bad counting down the seconds till I get back, which by the way I am too so don’t feel the need to deny it! I can see it now… You all shriveled up like a raisin crawling on the floor going “sloannn… sloannnn…” because of how bad you miss me hehe. Just kidding again! It’s probably the opposite let’s be real… I’m going insane without you seriously, I started talking to the hieroglyphics yesterday and the crew even caught me tasting some rocks earlier (sos!!!!)

But speaking of, they’re rushing me to “turn the lights off already” what a bunch of buzzkills ammarite? Promise to show up in my dreams okay? Who am I kidding, you’re always there regardless. Sweet dreams ᥫ᭡ᥫ᭡

p.s they really wanna meet you!

p.p.s take care okay? I’ll be home before you know it!!!

Yours truly,

(so romantic!!!)

“(๑´>᎑<)~*”

[vulpixisananimal]

"Look out, everyone!"

(Your feet feel like lead weights. Your shoulders, your back, your arms, your head your BLINDING head!! You could barely think! Let alone fight!)

(Don't think about the pain. Keep breathing.)

(How, HOW!?! PLEASE tell me HOW I can think about ANYTHING!!!)

"Loop please!!!" (Someone your shoulder, it was. . . The. . . Housemaiden.) "We can handle it, please! Just go rest!"

"I'm fine!" (You take your shoulder back, no touch.) "I, I can't leave you guys to, to do this alone."

(That was only half true. The real reason you stayed is because you woke up ten minutes ago. Despite your best efforts, you drifted to sleep. Stars, how stupid could you be!!! Now you were stuck HERE. And every failure would make it worse!!)

"We might not have that luxury." (The. . . Researcher calls over, readying herself.) "If we can figure out how to stop them now then. . ."

(. . . You forgot. Didn't you.)

(The Housemaiden looks at you, worried, then to Ramos, or what used to be Ramos.) "Grrr, fine! But you'll answer for this, buster!!!"

(Haha, you were terrified.)

"Plan, Loop?" (The Carpenter yells, she's in position with her hammer near The Kid)

(Ramos. . . Stars, what was your Defender thinking! You barely caught whatever conversation they were having, and, he could have been mind controlled or-)

(You forgot their names. Didn't you. You remember Ramos but not them? Your friends?)

". . . Try not to kill it." (You pause, trying to think of a tasteful way to say it- oh never mind that!!) "It'll, it'll kill Ramos too."

"!!!!"

"Oh. . ."

"R-right." (The Researcher says.) "Right, I suppose that, might make sense."

(You don't have a plan.)

(Yeah, you know. . .)

". . . J-just, just, just-"

(You, you don't know what to do.)

"Here they come!" (The Defender called over, he positioned himself in front of you.) "Don't strain yourself, Loop, just, try and figure something out."

(Right. . .)

(You feel like your body is shattering.)

(ATK down, DEF down, SPD down.)

(You concentrate really hard to speed up your friends.) "Right, it can still confuse you, try to avoid getting hit."

"Okay- Wait! I know!" (The Housemaiden claps her hands, and you feel something like a warm blanket wrap around you. You laugh.)

"Remembered the carrot method, did we?" (You call over.)

"Oh, it just came to mind, y'know?" (She smiles back.)

"Dunno if it'll work, but it's worth a shot. Let's go!!!" (Your Defender, strikes a pose, you feel a little stronger, but, not much.)

"We'll need to stall for time." (The Researcher crafts her spell.) "I can slow it down, but we need a proper plan."

"I-I'll, I'm trying-"

(So are you the Traveler again, Loop? And I, the Shadow? The Sadness?)

(Shut UP, you KNOW you forgot!!)

(The Sadness cries out, looking between you all, before diving at The Housemaiden.)

"I got it!!" (The Carpenter dashed forward and intercepted the attack, blocking with her hammer.) "N-no issue!"

"Thank you!" (The Housemaiden ducked to the side and swiped out with her rapier, it scraped on the sadness, but didn't doo much damage.)

(You're slow.)

(You shake your head. Loop time, you rush forward with your dagger and take a stab at the sadness. You connect. It doesn't do a thing.)

(Oh.)

(You look up at the sadness. It looked at you, it had insanity in its eyes. Oh. You're very weak.)

"HEY!!!" (Before you noticed, The Kid had smacked the sadness, it recoiled and you stumbled back.) "BE CAREFULL YOU CRABFACE!!!"

"R-right." (You held your head in your hand. Stars, come on, come ON. You're starting to feel numb again.)

(Do you even care?)

"Ramos!!!" (The Defender cried out.) "C'mon buddy!!! Snap out of it!!!" (He strikes, the sadness intercepts it with its, hands?)

"I don't think they'll hear you." (The Researcher whiped her brow before holding out a palm. The creative craft blasted the sadness, making it recoil, then scream.)

(It charged at her and lashed out.)

"Hrrngh-"

"M'dame!!!"

"A-are you alright?!?"

"I-I'll be fine."

(You shake your head, no, no she wouldn't be, there would be confusion, and then, and then-)

(Swap with me.)

(What?!? After what you've done!?! You'll drain the last of our energy!!!)

(You've been fighting too long. You need a breather, I handle it, stars, you forgot their names.)

(Like I'd trust you! You'll kill us!!!)

(You're killing us, too. Loop, I promise, I'll be conservative. I'll be careful.)

(. . . . . .)

(You breathe in, and out. Stars, you really did feel like walking death. Just breathe, Mal, it's Mirabelle next, take your time, look around.)

(Mirabelle claps her hands again, sending some healing craft to Odile. They were talking, making some comment, it didn't matter. Just focus on the Sadness.)

(Sadness. . .)

(A thing born of the sadness from frozen peoples; can no longer tell friend from foe. You could have been a sadness, maybe. What a sight that would have been. Ramos looked sad, and they looked desperate. They didn't want to fight you. Hmm. . .)

(You guard.)

"Smart!" (Isa calls back.) "We got it handled!"

(No, you don't. Isabeau threw a rock symbol and punches, the blast of craft glancing the sadness' side. It didn't do much. Rock on rock, of course.)

(Odile stood up, she shook her head.) "I-I think I'm being, effected." (She guarded.)

"Crab!!!"

(You needed a plan. Think. Think.)

(Why a sadness? Sadness were born from those frozen in time by the King. Ramos wasn't frozen, and there was no time craft in play. Perhaps it was made from Mind Craft? If that's the case then what other crafts could summon a sadness. Come to think of it, Ramos' sadness never froze any of you in time like those in the house could.)

(Sadness is a powerful emotion after all. And that is the domain of the mind.)

(Mirabelle holds out a hand and crafts a paper spell, the Sadness recoils, rolls with the hit.)

(What was Ramos screaming? As they turned into a sadness. Was it to someone?)

(. . . You open your mouth. You call Ramos name.)

(You see your allies wince at your voice, Ramos screams back. You didn't understand it. How do sadness communicate, you wonder. You call Ramos again.)

"OW!!" (Nille yelps.) "Crab was that!?!"

(She'll be fine, maybe Ramos could understand- wait-)

(WAIT.)

(You turn.)

(The sadness screams again and charges at you.)

(You try and dodge away, but your feet are still like lead, it's-)

(It strikes you in the chest and throws you across the yard.)

(Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. You got hit. You could feel your mind freezing up. You could, feel, your, mind. . .)

(Some "protector" you are.)

(You grip your head as a wave of nausea and strains run through you, swap. switch. tag out. can't. stay. I'm, sorry.)

(Was Ramos tugging at the star?)

"Loop!!!" (The Housemaiden ran over to you, a hand helping you up.)

(Your head. . .)

(Haha. . . You were going to diiiiieeeee~)

(You collapse back to the ground, gasping for air, keep breathing, c'mon, Loop, you need to keep breathing. Stupid, dumb. No, not stupid, it had a good Idea. Hah, Mal was being safe, and yet it still got hit. Actually, physically that hit wasn't that bad. But the lingering mind craft was still giving you waves of unease.)

(You feel the ground shake, you look up. The Carpenter had ran past you, charging at the Sadness, the Housemaiden cried out to stop her but, too late. She swung with her hammer and, sure, it hit, but the sadness just turned around and threw her accross the yard.)

(You're going to die. You're going to die again, and, and you won't be able to win.)

(The housemaiden, her name, what was her name! She stood between you and the sadness, hah, she was as weak to that thing as you were. She was so brave. . .)

(The sadness was coming towards you.)

(You're going to die.)

"Hey!!!" (Your Defender came swinging in from the side, striking at the sadness chest.)

(The sadness moved back, looked at the Defender, and attacked. It slashed acrross his chest, he tumbled backwards.)

(No, nonononononono.)

(The Housemaiden rushed forward, slicing at the sadness again and again. But, but, but the sadnnes just threw her to the side.)

(NO, NO, NO!!!)

(In Tears, And Time.)

(Blood. And. Stars.)

(You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die You're going to die-)

"H-Hah! Good hit, buddy."

(. . . What. . . ?)

(The sadness stepped back and turned. Your Defender was standing up, he, he should be KOed, by all rights he should be, but. But he's still here, standing. His face, you could tell he was straining. The sadness screamed at him.)

(He closed his eyes, straining, but, he didn't fall.)

"I'm, I-I'm not, giving up, buddy. Rams."

(What, what is he. . .)

(The sadness attacked again, but the Defender, he wasn't even phased, he blocked them.) "I'm, I'm not gonna give up on you, buddy!!"

(He's, he, he-)

"You promised to never forget you're strong! So I promise, I'll be there for ya when you can't!!"

(. . . Isabeau. . .)

"We're gonna find a way to help you! And we're gonna fix this, we're gonna do it! And we're gonna do it together!!"

(He strikes a pose- Wait, that's--)

"We're gonna win!! Together!!!"

(It is. Stars, it is! It's that, it's that skill! That one Stardust always was able to get but YOU WEREN'T!!! IT's, IT-)

(You feel warmth through your veins. You stand up.)

(You're going to win.)

(You're going to win if it killed you.)

(Keep going.)

"Isa!!" (You yell as you run.) "Ramos!! What'd they say about the star!!"

"Huh?!?" (He turns to you as you get to his side.) "He said someone gave it to them!"

(Someone GAVE it to them?)

(Wishes aren't given. You're given the tools for them. Wishes aren't an item. Wishes- It's not a wish.)

(IT'S NOT A WISH!)

(IT'S, IT'S A TRICK!!)

"I GOT IT!!" (You smile, hehehehe. You had a plan. You rushed at the sadness, it screamed and lashed out at you.)

"Loop what-" (Isa yells, running to catch up.)

(You sidestep it, focus, focus. You grab onto the sadness tendrils, hopefully your gloves would be enough to stop the mind craft.)

"I have a plan!!" (You yell back,) "Try keeping it distracted!!"

(Isa nods. You lift yourself up onto the sadness' body. It's writhing, screaming, rattling through your head but still you persist. Not, yet. Isabeau strikes at the sadness, distracting it.)

(Hand, over hand, you grab onto the sadness head, it screams again, so loud. You feel numb, your legs, your fingers, just, keep, your, grip. Just, think, one thing, one target.)

"L-loop!!!" (You feel warmth wash over you, looking back, Mirabelle had ran over to help and healed you.) "P-please just be careful!!"

(You were way past careful. You pull yourself up, once, twice, again, again.)

(You grab onto the star upon its head, and tug.)

(It comes free.)

(You fly back off of the sadness, tumbling to the ground. You could feel the second wind of energy starting to dwindle again, but just a little bit more, please. You lift your head up to look.)

(The star landed at Isabeaus foot, The Sadness, it looked maddened. It charged at Isabeau, screaming.)

(Isabeau opened his arms.)

(As soon as it started, it was over, in a flash of light.)

(Ramos tumbled into Isabeaus arms, crying their brains out.)

(. . .)

(Did. . . Did you Win?)

(. . . You breathe out.)

(Mirabelle is now level 46)

(Odile is now level 46)

(Isabeau is now level 46. . . And learned the skill "WE! WILL! WIN!!!")

(Nille is now level 19)

"Loop!!!" (Mirabelle ran over to you and offered a hand, you took it. She helped you to your feet.) "A-are you alright?!?! Are you hurt?!? Where are you-"

"Slow down, Mira, I'm fine-" (Both a lie and too late. She was already fussing over a gash in your side. When did you get that?)

"You are absolutely not fine!!! You look like, like-!!"

"Hey go easy on em'." (Nille said, Bonnie was helping her over.) "Did just save the day after all."

(It, it's not over though, right?)

"THAT WAS SO COOL!!!" (Bonnie, by contrast, was full of energy and a-okay.) "I didn't know you could do stuff like that!!"

(It, it couldn't have been that easy.)

(You hid your face in your cloak.) "It was just a hunch it would work." (Stars, you feel so tired.)

"!!!!" (Mirabelle went running to Odile. Looking over, she was sitting on the grass rubbing her head.)

(It just, couldn't have been that easy.)

"Hah, healers job is never done I guess." (Nille said cheekily.)

(Bonnie turned to you.) "Dontch'ya know healing craft too?"

(Oh right.) "Oh! Are, are you two hurt?"

"I'll be fine, had a tonic. And my heads clearing up." (Nille said with a thumbs up.) "Those two though. . ."

(She gestured to Isabeau and Ramos. You could hear Ramos cries from here.)

"R-right. . ."

(You head over to them. Isa looks up as you approach. He looked, so, so happy.)

". . . It, it worked!" (He smiled at you.)

(It, it was that easy?!?)

(It, it can't have been, right?!?)

(He continued.) "I, I feel fine, Ramos is shaken up but fine. What about you? Any effects?"

(You stare at him. He's, fine? Ramos is fine? What? You, you felt. . .)

(Isa tilts his head.) ". . . Loop-"

"We won?" (You ask.)

(He's giving you the biggest smile you've ever see.) "Yeah!! We won!!"

(But, but that was, so fast. How did, how did you do it? It, this can't be it, right? You'll smell burnt sugar soon or see something red or-)

". . . H-hey. . ."

(You look down, Ramos had turned to look at you. They looked like a mess, they were crying still. They looked, they looked-)

"I-I'm, I'm sorry." (They mumble.)

(After all that. They're sorry. After all that time. After all that pain. That, that-)

"Y-you, you're. . ." (You say, feel dizzy.)

"Hey, Loop are you okay?" (Isabeau asks.)

"You're so, so. . . (The world is spinning.)

(You can't think straight. You feel numb. You can't feel your legs, your arms, you can't, can't, can't. . .)

"Yyyou're so, stuupid. . ."

(Curtains fall. Piper; payed.)

(You black out.)

[thinemoonshine]

⋆ ˚｡𝒯𝐻𝒰𝑀𝒫! 𝒯𝐻𝒰𝑀𝒫! 𝓂𝓎 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝒿𝓊𝓂𝓅𝓈! ୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

enhypen 8th fem!member x maknae line content(s): fluff, (y/n) rizzing the maknae line(unintentionally), maknae line being (y/n)'s no.1 fans type: oneshot word count: 1450 (avg. of 483 words for each member)

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ synopsis: in which the hyung line’s hearts go THUMP! THUMP! in a fluttery way when (y/n) does a certain something ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

playing make-up/dress-up together (k.sw)

"what'chu doin'?~" sunoo skittishly asks as he casually steps into (y/n)'s bedroom. every once in a while, the members stop by her private apartment just for a little break before a nearby schedule or a random hangout—and today is one of those days.

"trying out some new makeup," (y/n) answers simply and glances at him as he closes the door behind him—drowning the cheerful rowdiness of the members from her living room. she then turns to him fully, spinning on her dressing table's stool. "hey, wanna try them together. you can be my mannequin head."

his eyes instantly upturn to crescents while his lips pull to a bright, ear-to-ear grin. "yeah!"

within a blink, he's plopped himself onto her bed, legs criss-crossed and hands tucked into the small space in the center, keeping them warm. he follows (y/n) with both his sparkling gaze and head, bobbing left and right in accordance to her like a pup. she climbs onto the bed on her knees before sitting right in front of him—both hands full with her fresh products.

"let's see here..." (y/n) says as she drops them onto the spot between them and soon sunoo’s cheeks are in all shades of pink and lips all glittery from her experimentations.

“hmm…i don’t really like this one…” she mutters to herself as she stares at her mannequin head’s soft lips that are in a matte rosy colour. using a makeup wipe, she starts cleaning the tint off with gentle, smooth motions—unaware of the gaze that is transfixed on her.

he doesn’t know when and how exactly it started, but he’s come to adore it whenever she plays with her makeup on him. he thinks it’s such a sweet, adorable thing but it’s also because he feels all…ticklish and fluttery inside whenever it happens.

the way her brush strokes his skin with the most softest of grazes, the way the cold wetness of the wipes feel hydrating and refreshing—cooling down his warm flushed face—and the way her fingers caress his skin so tenderly, carefully but not in a way where she treats fragile glass. but in a way where she seems to admire and treasure the most loveliest of masterpieces.

little does she know that in these moments, he finds her to be the most endearing, the most exquisite of arts. it makes his heart go a little over its speed limit sometimes—to the point where he forgets to breathe and causing her to chuckle and say that even though she forbid him from moving, that doesn’t mean literally everything in him has to stop.

“this one looks so good on you!” (y/n) squeals suddenly and holds her mirror up to his face so he can see. “don’t you think so too?”

sunoo looks at his reflection and gasps at the lip tint and blush that compliment his porcelain skin perfectly, his hand flying to hover his mouth. “wah! you’re right! what colour is this??”

“this!” his ‘makeup artist’ exclaims and shows him the products with a cheeky grin. “do you want to keep them? they look so good on you, i think i might just let you have them.”

sunoo stares at the blush and tint before shaking his head with eyes shut—gazing back up at her with a grin on his pretty rosy lips. “nope. we can just share! i’ll just go to you if i want to use them and you can help me put it on.”

“oh! okay~” she sings and gently cups his jaw, igniting fireworks in him that buzzes beneath his skin and he smiles—getting scolded almost instantly because she can’t clean the tint off efficiently.

when she tackles him (y.jw)

“i’m here!!” (y/n) announces as she walks into the boys’ dorm, ready for their schedule. jungwon who’s watching tv in their living room stands instantly from the couch like a curious meerkat and opens his arms wide.

(y/n) sees and copies the wide smile that stretches on his face before just rushing to him like a bullet—crashing into him and tackling him down onto the couch to which he laughs loudly with arms naturally wrapping around her.

“are the others not awake yet orr?” she asks as she sits up with jungwon despite his visceral want for them to stay cuddled up longer. but it’s better this way—especially when his heart is running 10 miles per second. if she knows, she’ll tease the living daylights out of him.

jungwon shakes his head. “they are awake. just getting dressed.”

“oho~ as expected, our leader is so early~” she sings teasingly but with a hint of admiration laced within. he chuckles with another shake of his head.

it doesn’t take long for the rest of the members to finish up and soon, their manager comes to pick them all up to shoot another episode of en-o’clock.

oh, how quickly (y/n) is drowned with dread and despair the moment they realise that it’s a horror special. she dislikes horro—no, she hates horror.

not that she’s a scaredy-cat but she is prone to shock—always easily startled by the most subtle noises and motions especially with heightened senses from the silence. but in most cases, she calms once she knows where it’s from.

still, that doesn’t stop her from jumping out of her skin and clinging onto the closest person like a koala on a branch whenever she’s jolted. and luckily for her, she’s partnered up with jungwon who’s beginning to think that maybe this horror episode won’t be so bad.

“you okay?” won asks, acting like (y/n)’s handsome and gallant knight as she practically attached herself to his side. he looks down at her, grinning at her fearful expression as she bobs her head. “alright, let’s—”

a thrill shriek tears through the deafening silence and pierces their ears like an overheated kettle—reverberating in the school corridor they stand in and the pair jumps.

“ACK—!” jungwon sounds when he stumbles amidst his frantic escape—dragging (y/n) over and under as they roll and topple on one another.

so much for heroism.

low ponytail and a bob (n.rk)

being the only girl in a male dominated setting, (y/n)’s in charge of introducing them to the wondrous world of hairstyles. from using the basic rubber ties and scrunchies, to claw clips and even none at all to tie the hair—able to use the hair itself as a knot.

and because of this, the members come to have their own preferences. for example, nishimura riki has found an undeniable liking to her ‘loose ponytail and bob’ combo. the first time he saw her with short hair that stops below her ears, it’s like the rosy tint on his permanent glasses seem to thicken—adopting a tunnel vision for her and only her.

“you cut your hair?” he asks slowly, contrasting the speed in which he uses to practically teleport to her. the girl furrows with confusion before realisation settles.

“oh! no, i didn’t. this is a low, loose ponytail with the sides pulled to cover my ears. didn’t want my hair to look too flat,” she explains and twists her neck to show the style.

now, it’s riki’s turn to raise his brows at the new finding. just as she said, there’s a low ponytail cascading down her back but her ears are covered by the left and right sections of her hair dragged to the front while the strands are still joined within the tie—not pulled completely to let them escape the bind while the middle section of her hair covers her nape.

“does it look weird?” she asks once she swivels on her heels back towards him.

he shakes his head. “no, it’s…nice. it looks pretty.”

a gulp and shifty eyes expose the bashfulness that blooms in him while the redness of his ears and cheeks discloses the erratic beats of his heart that’s having a full on party of its own—seizing the dance floor in the most frenzied manner and popping confettis that tickle his insides in a way he wants to vomit them out.

to just cover the floors with millions of tiny colourful sheets before burying himself under the pile in hopes it’ll suffocate him enough and thus, preventing him from draping (y/n) over his shoulder like a potato sack and hogging her all to himself. he has to remind himself that that’s basically kidnapping.

“you should do this one more often,” he grumbles out amidst a fake ‘throat-clearing’ and (y/n) beams.

POP! his heart goes overdrive.

DING! DING! DING!

ni-ki: 0 (y/n): 1

“i will!” is all the girl says, oblivious to his internal fluster and she walks away with a cheery, mindless skip in her steps.

ᡣ𐭩ྀི₊ ⊹ masterlist ᝰ.ᐟ✮⋆˙

𝜗𝜚 hi, it’s romi here!! thank you so much for reading to the end!! if you enjoyed it, don’t forget to leave a heart and reblog— they give me some motivation, ya know? X♡X♡, romi ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

copyright © 2024 thinemoonshine all rights reserved

[gretavangroupie]

The Ripe and The Ruin (Chapter 7)

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x Reader, OC x Reader

Word Count: 10.2k

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Smoking, Angst, Anxiety, Allusions to Cheating, Lying, Jealousy, Sexual Themes, Crying.

Find the Playlist Here: Apple Music | Spotify

A new series in collaboration with my talented co-writer @gretavanmoon.

A/N: Thanks so much for waiting for us while we took our little break. We had the absolute best time at our shows. We plotted and schemed most of the week and there really is quite a bit of exciting new things on the horizon, so keep your eyes peeled.

"Like all good fruit, the balance of life is in the ripe and ruin."

DUBLIN, IRELAND

HER POV

“There,” you whispered, putting the final touches on the food display. You gathered up the empty boxes and trash and made your way out the back door of the venue to dispose of them. You hoped you wouldn’t see anyone along the way, keeping your AirPods in as a public declaration to leave you alone.

You’d thrown yourself into work the last week, doing things that didn’t even fall under your scope of work just to fill the time. Your phone was on mute, but that didn't stop the calls. The texts. The songs. They all still came, but you paid them no mind. You couldn’t. You couldn’t be that girl. You couldn’t be the one to ruin a relationship. 

You hadn’t spoken to Jake since the friend request came through. You still hadn’t even accepted it. You didn’t know if you even should. She obviously knew who you were, and that alone scared you more than anything. How did she know?

You hadn’t spoken to Josh either. He had done his best to avoid you since that night in the bar, his look more than disappointed as he walked away. You felt a twinge of regret that you’d let him down, but you and Jake were nothing, and he has a girlfriend. He should be more mad at Jake than you. 

A call rings through your AirPods, the robotic voice alerting you to Ruth’s Facetime call. You make the split second decision to accept it, pulling your phone from your pocket and tapping the green button. 

“Hello,” you answer, shielding your face from the sun. 

“God, it’s so weird that it’s sunset there and I’m just now eating breakfast,” she says, taking a bite of a bagel. 

“Babes it’s literally what, noon there? Why are you just now eating breakfast?”

“Ugh, this isn’t about me, quit changing the subject,” she gripes.

“What?! I just–”

“Did you accept it yet?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows. 

“No! Are you insane! Why would I do that! Then she would know that I know who she is, and then she would know that I know she knows who I am!” you shout. 

“Yeah, I…am not even gonna try to decipher what you just said,” she says, shaking the ice in her coffee. 

“Ruth! Ugh!”

“What!? I’d accept it, you have nothing to hide. It’s not like you’re posting about him.”

“But–”

“But what? Show her you’re a hot bitch and she should be scared!” she laughs, tilting her head side to side. 

“You are actually a terrible influence,” you scoff. 

“Fine, what about McSexy,” she says, slurping up the last bits of coffee through her straw.

“Are you done with that yet? GOD.”

“You’re so dramatic,” she laughs, tossing it into the trash. “Spill about Beefy McGuns before I throw myself off a cliff.”

“Yeah I am the dramatic one,” you sigh, rolling your eyes. “Murph is…well, he’s good I guess. We have been hanging out a little bit since… ya know. We snuck into the hotel pool a few days ago, got Gelato night before last and last night we went to Temple Bar because the guys had an outing thing.”

“Okay, so you and McDouble are like kinda hot and heavy courting,” she asks. 

“Please don’t call him McDouble, that is gross. I mean, courting sounds kinda…more serious than it is. We are just hanging out.”

“A lot.”

“Yeah, kind of a lot,” you admit. 

“Do you like him more than Mr. Pene-Traitor?”

“RUTH ANNE!” you shout, trying to stifle back laughter. 

“Answer the question,” she snaps. 

“No! I don’t know! I mean, I like them equally for different reasons,” you answer.

“Well who is better in the sack?”

“Um…”

“Oh my god, you haven't slept with McSexy yet?” she asks, mouth gaping open.

“No! It hasn’t…gone there yet,” you reply. 

“Yet…So you intend for it to…” she smirks. 

“Well, I wouldn’t hate it,” you laugh. “I’m kinda like not planning to sleep with Jake again after all this shit. Murph seems less…complicated. He’s fun, and respectful, and we just mesh so well when we hangout. We have a lot in common and it’s just so easy. It’s not serious or anything but I’m trying to see where this thing goes.”

“So guitar daddy is out, officially…”

“Jesus Christ, Ruth.” you sigh, “I mean I haven't spoken to him in almost a week now. I’ve been ignoring every attempt and conveniently finding myself in the opposite room as him. I don't know what to even say to him without exploding so I have just been saying nothing.”

“Has he added any songs or anything?” she asks, quirking a brow. 

“A few but I haven’t replied,” you answer. 

“Oh I bet it’s eating him up, too.”

You shrug your shoulders as you see the back door open, Sam stepping out to light up a cigarette. 

“Hey, I gotta go, the family unit is present,” you say quietly nodding your head to the side. 

“Okay, well, personally I think you should accept her request. I’d think it's more suspicious that you haven’t if I were her. Maybe she just wants to talk.”

“I will think about it,” you say, pursing your lips. “I’ll text you later, okay?”

“Alright alright, and don’t forget my souvenir. I want one with sandy brown hair, blue eyes and an Irish accent.”

“You are actually so annoying.”

Your phone dings in your ear as a text flashes across the screen. 

“Oh shit,” you gasp. “It’s Murph.”

“What's up McBeefy?!” Ruth shouts. 

You open the text, reading it over quickly as a smile crosses your face. 

“Oh okay, why are you blushing Y/N? Huh, huh? Why you smiling like that?”

“So, he just said that The Black Keys are going to be in Glasgow on our day off next week,” you say, a little shocked. 

“As in The Black Keys that you’ve loved your whole life Black Keys?”

“Those would be the ones…”

You

6:02PM: How did you know I love them?

Murph

6:03PM: Just had a feeling 😉

Murph

6:04PM: I’m gonna tell the guys, I’m sure they will want to go. 

You

6:05PM: I definitely want to go.

Murph

6:06PM: Well good thing I just bought us tickets

“Hello?! Earth to Y/N!” Ruth shouts, and truthfully you forgot she was on the line. 

“Fuck, sorry,” you say, reopening Facetime.

“What did you say?!”

“I told him I want to go and he said he already bought us tickets,” you smile. 

“Mmhm, yeah it’s not serious at all though,” she mocks. 

“Gotta go! Love you bye!” you smile, ending the call and shoving your phone into your pocket.

You nod to Sam as you walk back into the building, making your way back into the greenroom to finish up. Your music begins to play through your AirPods again, and you feel a sense of calmness now that you’ve gotten a little reassurance from Ruth. You tidy up the room a bit, grabbing a few empty cans and chip bags and banishing them to the trash can that is seemingly invisible to these four men.

Just as you turn around you see Jake stepping into the room with his eyes on you. 

Fuck. 

You jump back a bit in shock, watching as he throws his hands up in innocence.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, a guilty look on his face. 

You pull your earbuds from your ears and place them in their case as you lean against the wall behind you. “It’s fine. What’s up?” you ask, trying to seem casual. 

“You think we can talk for a second?” he asks, rubbing his fingers over his chin. 

“Um, right now? I’m just finishing this up?” you counter, not really feeling like this is the best time for, well, this. 

He walks over to the small couch, tapping the spot next to him, “Please, just for a second.”

His brown eyes lock with yours and you know there is no way you can deny him. He had that effect on you. You nod and walk over to him, sitting next to him. Maybe this is it. 

You watch as he pulls in a deep breath as if trying to organize the thoughts in his head. He swallows nervously and turns his gaze to you. 

“You know, this last week has been…well, to be honest, it’s been complete shit,” he starts, locking his fingers together. “We went from seeing each other nearly every day and texting and everything to…whatever this is. Not speaking…”

You nod your head, wanting to hear his piece before giving your own. 

“I miss you. I’ve missed you a lot. I have hated every second of this silence and I would very much like to get things back to how they were before… all of this.”

Did Josh not tell him about Murph? Surely he had…

His hand reaches for yours, grabbing it in his own as he continues and you are praying he is ready to come clean. 

JAKE POV

“I know I’ve been a total and complete asshole, Y/N, and you don’t deserve that. That’s not me,” you go on, squeezing her hands in yours. Your voice continues to crack, and the emotion you feel while telling her all this actually surprises you. It’s hard to talk to her, hard to get things out. But you only know that it is because you’re positive that it all means something bigger. Your internal alarm clock is ticking, you can feel the time to get on stage is drawing closer and closer. “I just want you to know how sorry I am.”

“Jake, listen. I appreciate your apology, but I'm still not even sure what you’re sorry for? I mean, I know shit went sideways but, you never even told me why…” she goes on, pure confusion painting her expression. “I know that I was and am being left in the dark about something, and I don’t want to end up looking like the idiot.”

“Fuck, I know,” you say, rubbing a hand over your face. You can feel the bile swirling in your stomach as you prepare to speak again. “If you… I want to talk to you some more, and explain myself, but…”

“...You go on in like fifteen minutes and you aren’t even dressed yet,” she answers.

You nod, sucking in your bottom lip. Her eyes are glazed over, not with tears, but with some other overwhelming sentiment. Your voice shakes as you go on. “If you’re willing to hear me out, I have a long story I want to tell you.”

She takes a second to consider, and you know that she could just as easily tell you to fuck off, get away from her, and to never speak to her again. But instead she nods, meeting your eyes with pity. “It’s hard saying yes to this Jake, I’m not gonna lie…”

“I know it is. I know it, I’m so sorry, I’m just. You deserve to hear it all. From me,” you beg. The anxiety of it all is making you dizzy, and you hadn’t even told her anything yet. But you’re positive that when the time comes, it will all be worth it. She’s worth it. 

“Please trust me.”

She nods again. “Just…come to my room after the show?”

“I’ll be there,” you agree with a smile, and you feel the faintest hint of positivity, a tiny flame burning at the end of the tunnel. 

—

After an electric show, you dab the towel across your forehead and neck, wiping away the heavy sweat beads that continue to pour down. 

“Just keeps getting better and better, guys!” Paul compliments you as you pass by, making your way down the hall to the green room. 

“Thanks, man. Appreciate you,” you reply with a pat to his shoulder.

“Daniel, you hitting the shower?” you ask as you watch him take a seat on a red leather chair.

“Mm, here in a few, gonna have a drink first.” He pulls Mia over by the hand to sit on his lap, playfully wiping his sweat-covered arm across her face. “Where are Josh and Sam?”

You quietly walk over to the craft table, giving Y/N a sweet glance as you grab a mini bag of chips from the box, watching as she and Ty fiddle around with whatever random food is displayed across the table. “I dunno, they seemed like they were bickering all night, did you notice that?”

“Mmmhm,” Danny says through a long drink of a seltzer. “I could literally see the fuckin’ blurry tension between them, who the hell knows. He say anything to you, Ly?”

“Mmm, nope. Didn’t say anything to me…” Lyla avoids his gaze. You glance to Ty, and he offers you the same answer.

Just then, Josh and Sam burst through the door in a huffed mess of antics, yelling obscenities at one another as Josh’s hands fly up in the air around him. These two rarely fight, but every once in a while, one of them will get under the other’s skin. And sometimes it’s even worse, when they both manage to piss the other off so profusely, things can sometimes get physical. 

Josh’s voice is raised, and Sam’s face and neck are blotched red. You know that whatever it is, it isn’t good. 

“How about you stay the hell out of my face and sit the fuck down somewhere, huh?” Sam yells, grabbing a White Claw from the mini fridge and chugging it all almost in one drink. Your eyes dart directly to Danny who is just as stunned as you are, and equally as confused. 

“I’ll sit the fuck down when you stop running your fucking mouth, Sam,” Josh barks.

“Whoa, whoa, what the hell is going on?” you ask, moving toward them.

“Oh nothing, nothing, brother. Nothing at all,” Sam huffs, fury raging from him. You watch his eyeliner-covered eyes skitter across the room and finally land on Y/N, glaring at her from his peripheral. What the fuck?

For some reason, just his look pisses you off. 

“Not nothing, the fuck is your problem?” you ask him again, shooting your eyes between him and Josh. You see Mia rise up from Danny’s lap, joining Lyla on the couch. They sit closely together, and you swear they’re both biting back laughs. 

You finally move your eyes to Josh, giving him a stern look only the two of you can understand. ‘You got something to say?’ you ask him in your mind. 

He replies with an eye roll, shrugging his shoulders as he slips his stage jacket off. Josh is biting his tongue, you can tell, and the look in his eye is one you’ve seen often. With whatever rage he’s harboring mixed with the however many fireball shots he’s taken tonight, this could get bad. 

You look at Danny, as he knows the heavy feeling in the room all too well, too. You mentally ask him for backup.

Danny stands and clears his throat. “Uh, so… we going out tonight? We’re wasting moonlight if so…”

You jump in and agree. “Yeah, yeah let’s go grab a Guinness or something.” The room stays quiet as you and Danny make moves to get going, but the heaviness is still there. You decide to turn the attention elsewhere. “Y/N, Ty, you coming out with us?”

You can tell that Y/N feels like she’s invading the awkward encounter that’s currently happening in the room, just from her body language. 

“Yeah, um, sure… I suppose…” she says meekly. You offer her a little grin of reassurance.

“Oh, you mean you’re not hanging out with Murph tonight? Shocking!” Josh interjects, the tone of his voice menacing. Your head shoots to him. 

Y/N shakes her head, her entire demeanor falling. “Uh, no? No, why would I…” she stammers. 

“Just figured,” Josh continues, “You guys seemed pretty cozy the other night when I caught you making out at the bar in Paris, just thought you’d be continuing the festivities!”

“Josh!” Ty yells.

Hold…the fuck…on…

Your ears go deaf as you process Josh’s words, all the blood draining from your body, your extremities numb, your throat instantly dry. What the fuck. What the fuck??? He’s lying… That’s not true… she wouldn’t…

You hear a collective snicker from Mia and Lyla, both of them obviously loving whatever fucking show is happening right now. 

You somehow find the courage to look at Y/N, her face bloodshot and dripping with embarrassment as she turns away.

You feel like you’ve been hit by a truck. Making out? With Murph? Paris… a week ago? And Josh didn’t bother to…

You can’t find the will to move, or speak, or breathe or anything. Your mind is wracked with confusion and stress, wondering what in the hell is going to happen next.

—

HER POV

Your heart is pounding in your chest as you turn to look at Josh. 

Why? Why did he say that?

Your eyes scan the room as everyone stares at you, but all you can focus on is the look on Jake's face. It was a look similar to the one you received from Josh that night, but Jake’s hurt worse. Hit you deeper. You feel the knife twisting in your chest. 

You can see his neck growing red, the color creeping up into his cheeks as his anger starts to bubble up. Your eyes flash over to Mia and Lyla who are snickering in the corner like two highschool bullies. 

You shake your head and press your tongue to your cheek as you try to figure out an appropriate response. You decide at that moment that you owe none of them a single word. You silently grab your things and head to the door, brushing Jake’s shoulder as you pass. 

“Guess you’re not the only one with secrets, are you?”

You cut your eyes to Josh, completely shocked at his audacity to speak about something that didn’t involve him so publicly. It seemed out of character for him and you can tell by the way everyone is reacting to his outburst. 

You barely make it through the back door as the tears start to fall against your will. You feel so embarrassed. Everything has gotten so out of hand and now Josh hates you and you know Jake isn’t too far behind him. 

You just need to go back to your hotel room. Go back and be alone and cry in peace. You pull your phone from your purse and find the address for the hotel, and much to your displeasure, you see that it is a brisk three mile walk. Not to mention it is 42 degrees. You lock your phone in frustration knowing you have to go back inside and wait for the van to take you all back. 

You sneak back inside and head straight for the bathroom, locking yourself in one of the stalls and sitting down on the toilet bowl. You know the van isn’t going to leave for at least another thirty minutes, if not more. You let the tears flow freely in the confines of the bathroom stall, until you physically can’t anymore. You dry up your cheeks with the sleeve of your shirt as a notification from Ruth pushes through. 

Ruth

11:43PM: You do it yet?

You decide to bite the bullet. Who even cares anymore at this point?

You open Instagram and tap on her request, hitting the little blue ‘accept’ button and watching as her page populates with photos. Right off the bat you see how pretty she is, every picture perfectly effortless and aesthetically pleasing. Then, you see Jake. Happy, smiling, and holding her. Recently.

You're surprised by the feelings swirling through you, as you’d convinced yourself that your feelings for him were much smaller than they apparently were. You look at every single photo, and with each swipe you feel your own guilt start to grow larger and larger. 

Had you ruined this?

You hear noise in the hallway and know that they are leaving, heading to the bar or wherever they decided. You wait until you hear them leave, letting yourself out of the stall and into the empty hallway. As you approach the green room you know you want to get in, finish cleaning up, and leave, avoiding as many people as humanly possible. You press your ear to the door to listen for voices, but you hear nothing and know that the coast is clear. 

Though, when you open the door, you are met with someone, and thankfully it’s a friendly face. You see Ty grabbing the canned drinks from the fridge and throwing them into a cooler. He spots you, looking relieved and stops what he’s doing. 

“There you are,” he sighs in relief. 

“Wha– What are you doing here, I thought everyone left?”

He walks towards you, taking you into a hug before you can even process what he’s doing. It’s as if he already knows how you’re feeling and you fall into it, letting him wrap you up in his arms. 

“I’ve been around long enough to know how shit tends to go down in this family. I knew that Josh was in one of his moods tonight and Sam pushed him over the edge. Unfortunately, you were on the receiving end of things. I don’t blame you for walking out, but I am glad you came back.”

“Why are you always looking out for me?” you ask, feeling like you might cry all over again. 

“Real recognizes real, baby,” he winks, releasing you from the hug and returning back to the cooler. 

“Ty,” you whine, knowing you don't deserve his kindness. 

“Look, I know I shouldn’t, because he needs to do this himself, but I am really sorry about Josh. I’m gonna make him apologize to you as soon as I see him, I swear.”

“No, no, no. It’s okay. He is right. This whole thing is a mess and he and Jake and shit, even Sam, have the right to be mad at me. I fucked up.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “It’s a little bit of a mess but, it will get cleaned up. And as for Sam, I don’t think Sam is mad at you, per say, but more of just the situation and how he learned of it. There’s been some other shit going on with him lately, but don’t you worry I’m on your team, here.”

“You don’t need to be on my team, Ty. You have dealt with enough of my shit,” you laugh, hoping he doesn’t actually take your advice. 

He closes the cooler up and takes one last look around the room, both of you finding it spotless. “Oh, just let me. This is my shit and I am used to corralling these rowdy motherfuckers, I do it in my sleep.”

You laugh and shake your head, “Alright, alright, fine.”

He nods in victory before turning to you again, “You’re coming to the bar, right?”

“No, I’m probably gonna go back to the hotel and cry some more.”

“Actually, you’re not. You’re gonna go back to the hotel, pretty yourself up and come meet me.” He flits his hand to his chest as he points to himself. “I’ll text you the address when I get there.”

“Ty I can’t! I can’t even face Jake right now! And Mia and Lyla… I don’t know…” you stammer. 

“No, hang out with me all night. You don’t even have to talk to those bitches, I don’t half the time.”

You laugh at his honesty, and realize maybe you could go tonight.

“I don’t know…”

“Listen, it will look a lot worse if you don’t go darling,” he says, tilting his head to the side. You know he’s right. 

“Alright, fuck it.”

—

TY POV

Involving yourself in other people’s business wasn’t always your forte. In fact, it was something you tried to stray far, far away from. The thought of adding unnecessary stress into your life seemed daunting and pointless, especially when the outcome ended up being opposite of the one you desired, but, nonetheless… You find yourself here, completely involved in whatever drama is transpiring between Jake and Y/N. 

It’s none of your business in the least. It never was. But you could tell from the get-go that if no one else was going to step in and try to help each of them realize what was happening in front of them, you would have to be the one to do it. Who better, honestly?

You told Jake from the beginning that Isla seemed shady… though at first the two of them seemed like the happiest of two human beings, just like all new relationships do. She was good for him, and he treated her well. The day he told you and Josh that he told her he loved her, you were happy for him. Happy for them both. Things were good and they were taking Jake’s career changes in stride together. That was until you started to see straight through that bitch. 

That’s right, you’re not uncomfortable saying it anymore. She turned into a true-blue, cold hearted bitch. 

What started off as snide little remarks to Jake, in public, grew into full-blown insults that had you left with your mouth hanging open in disbelief. He let it slide off his back, though, and you swore it was like no one else even noticed it. How her behavior had changed almost overnight. You could see the respect she once held for Jake morphing into resentment right before your eyes, but everyone else seemed to think it was normal. 

It didn’t take long, though, for Josh’s twin-sense to be set off when he felt Jake’s normally low-key temper burning into fury; he was quite literally like a pot that was going to boil over anytime. Josh realized, but you don’t think he ever really realized, though to you, it was plain as fucking day. 

You and Josh welcomed him into your home, let him crash on the couch or in the guest room after he’d run away from her. It almost started to drive you insane that everyone else was just watching on as he let her walk all over him, all in the name of what everyone thought was love.

No. Fuck that. She may have loved him, but your senses absolutely buzzed with the feeling that all she was there for anymore was his status and fame. It made you sick how she took advantage of his popularity and his talent, only wanting to go out with him if it meant she’d be seen attached to his arm, only wanting to support him when it meant she’d reap the benefits. Made you fucking sick. 

But, like a good brother in law, you kept your mouth shut for the most part, until one day things got so bad you realized that Jake had seen the light, fully disconnecting himself from her right before you all left for this tour. 

And the minute you realized he was taking interest in Y/N, you felt like your heart could explode with relief for him. Finally, a distraction. The day you let him know how you felt about Isla in the bar was the first time you really said anything at all to him, hoping that your words of honesty would help to further the situation. 

But now… Now. Fuck, it seems like things have gotten messier than you anticipated. Y/N is the first person you’ve met in a while who matches your energy, who connects with you without any effort to do so. You like her a lot, and you are fighting to be on her team. But damn, if it doesn’t seem like she just dug herself into a hole…

So after what the fuck ever just happened in the green room, you know it’s time to strap your boots on and fix things, or at least try to. You’re no stranger to mediating arguments within this family, so you feel no shame in waltzing into this bar with a new flame lit under you. You’ve gotta fix this. For Y/N, and for Jake. 

You blow warm air into your hands as you walk into the bar, finding everyone gathered around a large table together. Good, they haven’t ripped each others’ heads off yet.

You take an empty seat next to Josh, greeting him with a quipped ‘Hey’ as you’re still a little bit pissed at his behavior earlier. His hand lands on your thigh, but you quickly pull it away, knowing that if you’re going to be the middleman here, everyone has to be on a level playing field. 

“The hell is wrong with you?” Josh slurs into your ear. 

You shoot a look his way, letting him know that now is not the fucking time. A quick glance around at everyone tells you that they’re all already fairly intoxicated, still sneering at one another overtop of their half-empty glasses. Great. Perfect. 

You take notice that Murph isn’t here, which is a good thing right now. He might need to stay behind and let the others have it tonight. You cross your arms over your chest as you make yourself comfortable in your seat. You clear your throat dramatically, effectively getting the attention of the table.

“Alright motherfuckers, who wants to tell me exactly what just happened in the green room?” you demand, taking a second to look Sam and Josh in the eyes first. The entire table groans and waves you off, except Sam, who gives you a look that says ‘Can’t tell you right now, but I will explain later…” He then does a quick glance to Lyla. You take mental note of that. 

Of course, Josh speaks first. “There’s not much to say, Ty… I caught our runner making out with our head of security last week, I don’t know what else you want me to say…”

“I want you to tell the table why you are so pissed off about that, Josh. Why are you so concerned with something that isn’t your business?” you quip back.

Josh mirrors your stance, crossing his own arms as he motions to Jake. “Hm, I don’t know, why don’t you ask my fucking twin, huh?” Everyone then turns all their attention to Jake, putting him directly in the spotlight. Your stomach turns over with nerves as you feel the tension in the room thickening with every passing second. You don’t want to do things this way. But, you’ve learned from experience, getting it all out on the table is the best way for them to do things like this. 

Jake is standing, running his tongue across his teeth, his face already glimmering with a nervous sweat. “Okay, fuck it,” he sets his beer down on the table, yanking a free chair out from underneath it and harshly taking a seat. “Y/N and I have been hooking up since tour started. Pretty regularly. Thought things were good. But I guess it doesn’t fucking matter anymore since apparently I was dumb to the fact that she’s more into our beloved Murphy.” You can tell he is seething. 

You hear Mia and Lyla gasp like the news was brand new to them. “So it’s fucking true, then, huh Jacob?!” Lyla practically yells, leaning over the table at him. “Ohhh, we fucking knew it, you sorry ass bitch.”

“It’s actually none of your fucking business, Lyla, so why don’t you lay the fuck off,” he retaliates.

You watch Mia put her hand on Lyla’s chest as she leans across her toward Jake, her words spitting with venom to him. “Actually it is my fucking business, Jake, Isla is my best friend you absolute dick! And she’s your fucking girlfriend!”

Jake almost stands from his chair completely, leaning over to her now. “She’s not my girlfriend anymore, Lyla! She hasn’t been for a long time! She just won’t admit it to anyone or even herself! Don’t speak on things you have absolutely no fucking idea about, Lyla. It’s not a good fucking look.” Jake is visibly vibrating with rage. You feel Josh doing the same.

Next thing you know you hear Sam bellowing toward Jake. “Hey, don’t fucking speak to her like that, man, or I swear to god–”

“Oh, I’d be fucking careful, Sam, given I know all the dirty details about our little conversation in my room the other night…” Jake defends himself with a finger pointed directly to Sam. His jaw is clenched so tightly you think he might break his teeth. 

Sam gives Jake a death glare that you know all too well, as Lyla turns in her seat to face him. “What the fuck is he talking about, Samuel? Is that why you disappeared drunk off your ass the other night? To go to Jake’s room? What did you talk about?”

Sam closes his eyes as he tries to diffuse his rage. “What the fuck ever, I’m just pissed everyone knew about Y/N and Jake besides me,” he slurs. “Always failing to let me in on the fuckin’ secrets.” You roll your eyes at Sam, suddenly confused and intrigued about what kind of conversation he had with Jake, anyway. 

“This is why, Sam! Right here! Shit blows up!” Jake yells. 

Josh groans, leaning his elbows on the table to Jake. “Yeah, just like I fucking told you it would.”

Jake scoffs hard. “Don’t talk to me about shit blowing up when you didn’t tell me for a god damn week that she was fucking around with Murph behind my back, Josh!”

“Ohhhhhoho, don’t try and pull that, I told you this shit wasn’t going to work anyway,” Josh responds with a sneer. 

“Wasn’t going to work?!” Mia yells. “What do you mean, wasn’t going to fucking work?! You have a girlfriend Jacob, are you a fucking idiot?!”

You watch as Danny physically lets his face fall into his hands, shaking his curls side to side.

“Alright, alright, everybody calm the fuck down,” Josh says loudly, actually qualming a situation for once in his life. “Let’s take a break, let’s talk this out.”

You dart your head to the side to give him a sharp look. “No, Josh, you’re the one who opened your big mouth in the green room and set everybody off, let’s hash this shit out right now. Everyone’s doing an excellent job of letting it all fly. Let’s not stop now,” you argue, putting your foot down. You motion with your hand to everyone at the table. “Keep going, let’s go…”

You hear a wholehearted laugh come from Jake at Josh’s expense.

Sam looks at Lyla, raising his voice a little. “Is this why you’ve been so fucking irritable lately?”

Oop, shouldn’t have gone there, kid.

She shoots back in her chair, looking as if she’s ready to pounce on him. “Whoa, whoa, irritable? Excuse me? Actually ya know what, yeah, I guess it fucking is!” She yells. “You’d be fucking pissed too, wouldn’t you?!”

“I guess I don’t know, since nobody ever fucking tells me anything!” Sam retaliates with his hands in the air.

“Sam you have got to be fucking kidding me… Do you not remember me sleeping on your couch for days at a time? Do you think I just did that because I missed you? Be serious…” Jake says with a little sincerity in his tone. 

“I don’t know! Shit, I guess I just thought you were…”

“Thought I was what?! Bored? Lonely? Hated my own home? Well, I guess that last one kinda makes fucking sense, now, huh?” Jake goes on, running a hand over his mouth.

Lyla speaks up. “All those nights you spent at our house Jake… you know Isla cried herself to sleep each and every one. Talked to me on the phone until 3AM until she couldn’t cry anymore because you fucking left her, over and over again–”

Jake leans his elbows on the table, hiding his face behind his folded hands. You can tell by the redness in his face that he is holding himself back from absolutely laying into Lyla. 

“Oh, you don’t even want to start with me, Lyla…” he grits his teeth, the vein in his head pulsing with rage again. 

“Chill out, Jake…” you hear Josh warn under his breath. 

“Do you know why I left, Lyla? Over and over again?!” His tone calms. “Yeah, I bet you don’t because all you care about is her fucking side of the story… did it not occur to you that I have one, too? What about my fucking feelings, huh? How do you know she’s not purposefully making me out to look like the bad guy? I bet nothing was her fault, was it? Hm?” He asks, looking around the table. Everyone stays silent, avoiding his glare. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. No one bothered to come and ask me what was wrong, hear my side of the story. Fucking figures, she always gets what she fucking wants, anyway,” he goes on, suddenly able to breathe through his words. “None of you cared to realize I’ve been fucking miserable for months? Tried ending things for months? I bet not, huh. You only got lies and a sob story from Isla.” He takes a deep breath. Keep going Jake…

“So yeah, I tried to end things with Isla. Multiple times. Now I know I have royally fucked up with making my life messier than it needs to be–”

“She still fucking lives with you, Jake–” Lyla cuts. 

“Yeah, I fucking know that, genius,” he eyes her sideways. “You think this has been easy for either of us? I asked her to move out way before we started packing for this fucking tour… So yes. I did start hooking up with someone else. And you know what? I don’t regret a goddamn second of it. I finally found something that makes me fucking happy, and not miserable every single second of my life. And if you want to know why I think my actions are justified, you can speak to me directly about it. I’m a grown fucking adult, and I don’t owe you a goddamn thing if you don’t even have the decency to speak to me about my own fucking business…” Jake cuts his eyes directly to Mia and Lyla, making them sink back in their seats a little. 

Fuck yes, Jacob. Fuck. Yes. 

Just then, like a sitcom hitting its dramatic peak, Murph enters the bar, leaving everyone gathered around the table even more speechless than they were before. You feel a collective breath be taken by everyone before Jake shoots up from his seat. “Another round?”

Hell yes. Success. 

Well, kind of. Progress. 

You look at your phone, seeing that Y/N had texted you a ‘?’ about fifteen minutes ago. 

“Perfect timing, Y/N is on her way here, too!” you announce, your voice full of pep. 

“You’re shitting me, right,” Josh murmurs under his breath to you. 

“Good, great. Grand. A big family reunion, huh?” Jake says sarcastically in his faux-accent. “I’m over the fucking moon.” Jake darts his eyes to Murph for a split second before making his way back to the bar. 

You take a second to hide your phone under the table, texting Y/N back.

You

12:32AM: Come. Sit with me. I’ll have a drink waiting for you. 

—

HER POV

Your palms are sweating with nervous energy, despite the freezing cold weather. You almost didn’t go. You talked yourself out of it three times before you ever left the room, but knowing that Ty was waiting for you was enough of a reason to go. He liked you, looked out for you and treated you like a friend even though he didn’t have to. You could suck it up for one night. 

As you push the door open you’re immediately met with warm air and the smell of stale beer. It’s loud in the small bar and terribly lit, making it hard to find the group. You see a hand wave you in its direction, and at the end of it, Ty. The table he is sitting at is fairly empty, most of the group dispersed throughout the bar, playing pool or darts. He pulls out the barstool next to him, sliding a drink in your direction. 

“You made it!” he smiles, watching you sit down next to him. 

“I did. What’s going on, I feel kinda weird about being here,” you admit. 

“Ahhh, don’t worry about it, everything is fine. Promise.” he says, taking a sip of his beer. “Everyone is pretty drunk now, and has already forgotten about earlier.”

You glance around the smoky bar and as you look behind you, your eyes meet with Josh’s, who is giving you the most apologetic eyes you’ve ever seen. You give him a curt smile, and turn back around, knowing that a conversation with him is low on your list of priorities at the moment. 

You spend most of the next hour with Ty, laughing and discussing anything and everything that does not have to do with Greta Van Fleet. He’s a sweet guy and you can tell why Josh fell for him, with his ability to make everyone feel heard and wanted, so easily. 

You’re two drinks in when you feel a warm hand on your shoulder, pulling you from your conversation with Ty. You turn to look at the person, but you can smell that it’s Jake, his cologne at the forefront of your mind. You feel him lean down to your ear, his breath on your neck. 

“I’d still like to talk tonight,” he whispers, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. 

You take a deep breath and try to center yourself. You turn fully to look at him, seeing that he is not nearly as mad as he seemed earlier, and you know you want to hear what he has to say. You want to hear his side of the story you’ve pieced together over the last week. You nod at him as your eyes meet his, and he nods back, stepping away to return to the bar already going over what he will likely say later.

— 

An hour later you find yourself in your hotel room, pacing as you anxiously wait to hear from Jake. He left the bar before you did, deciding to ride back with Ty and Josh after the others left. You took a shower and tidied up your room and still, you haven't heard from him, that is, until your phone buzzed on the dresser. 

Jake

1:47AM: What is your room number?

Shit! Okay. 

You

1:48AM: 407

You know it won't be long until he is knocking on the door, and your heart is beating hard in your chest. You try to slow your breathing and calm your heart rate before he gets here, but you know it's no use because it will spike again as soon as you see him. 

The knock echoes through the room and you make your way to the door, swallowing back your nerves. As you open the door you find him standing there with one hand in his sweats pocket, and the other gripping a CD. 

You look at it as he presents it to you, a smug smile on his face as you realize what it is. 

‘An Awesome Wave’.

“This is–”

“The album we listened to on the plane, yeah,” he finishes, smiling as he steps into your room. “Found it in a record shop the other day in London. Thought of you and that first time we talked on the plane.”

You both step further into the room, your heart already twisting at his sweet gesture. He thought of you. You sit on the edge of the bed as you stare at the CD in your hands. 

“Listen, I’m sorry you had to find out about Murph like that, I never meant for that to come out like that,” you offer, letting your eyes flick up to meet his as he stands in front of you. 

“Look, I came here to apologize to you, Y/N. Not the other way around. You said I’m not the only one with secrets, and I guess that’s true, but I am more interested in setting the story straight and finding out what secrets you seem to be privy to.”

JAKE POV

She holds your gaze for just a second as she leans forward, grabbing her phone from the dresser behind you. She takes a shaky breath as her thumb dances across the screen, obviously looking for something. Your heart starts to beat faster and faster as she searches for what she’s looking for, a million different suspicions of what it could be flying through your mind. 

Finally she turns her phone, showing you a screenshot of when Isla requested to follow her on Instagram. You feel your eyes grow as you breathe out a surprised “Oh.” 

Fuckkkkkkk. She found her. 

“Yeah. This was a while ago. I accepted her request tonight after the show. I know everything, Jake. I know about you and her. I know you’ve been lying to me this entire time,” she says bravely, gritting her jaw as she speaks. 

“Let me stop you there, Y/N. Please…” you beg, preparing yourself to finally lay everything out on the line. The time had come. You take a deep breath as you readjust your seat. “Where do I even fucking begin?” you ask rhetorically. 

“If I were you, I’d start at the beginning,” she suggests firmly. 

“Alright, okay, yeah…” you agree, doing your best to find the courage. “Her name is Isla Whitman. And… Yes, she still lives in my home. Isla and I had been together for a long, long time. She was there when everything skyrocketed with the band, right when everything started to take off. She moved in with me, life was going good. She uh… things were great, obviously, as I’m sure you’ve seen from the photos…” you say, motioning to her phone. “We were really good for a long time, I was really happy…”

“But then uh, but then things started to go south. Like really, really badly.” You wipe a heavy hand across your face as you relive those terrible days again. “I started to realize that she wasn’t here for me anymore, that she was here for whatever status I held. Only here because of the success of the band and shit. Only wanted to be seen and be a part of things if it meant she would be photographed and noticed by our fans. It was weird shit, like the fame got to her, and she wasn’t the one even… anyways. She turned into a completely different person, almost overnight. Apparently, uh… it was a lot worse than I even realized, now that I’m kinda putting things into perspective, and Josh and Ty are agreeing with me. She used me. She used the hell out of me. Talked down to me all the time. Gaslit me. Made everything my fault. We got into terrible, horrible fights. All the time. I’m talking fights so bad that we both would throw things at the walls. There at the end, I started spending nights on Josh or Sam’s couch, I’d completely leave for days on end until she’d swindle me into coming back home, all for it to happen again. Over and over. It was…really fucking horrible, Y/N,” you recount, feeling a lump growing in your throat. 

“I uh, I tried to get her to move out multiple times, told her I was finished, I couldn’t do it anymore. Mentally, I was done months ago. Over it. Then the night before we left for Europe, we fought and cried until 4:00 in the morning, and our flight left at six. The only way I could get out the door was if I agreed to go on a “break”. Which I know now was a stupid fucking idea,” you go on. 

“My idea of a break was no contact, cut off completely, do our own things while she found another place to live, then when I got home, we could discuss things like rational adults and get things figured out maturely, but. Ever since we’ve been here, she’s done nothing but try to involve herself in my life even more so than she did when I was home,” you bite your cheeks in as your eyes glaze over, feeling that same gut sensation that keeps haunting you at the worst times. That guilt creeping back up again and again. 

“My intention was never to hurt you, or harm you in any way at all, Y/N. Please know that. I left Nashville thinking I was practically a free man, finally. Ready to relax and disconnect while we worked. And I never intended to find you. And I never intended to… fall for you…like I did,” you explain, looking up to her with cautious eyes. “You completely blindsided me. Made me feel emotions that I hadn’t felt in years, Y/N. I should have told you from the beginning. I know I should have. That is the one thing that I regret completely and totally. I should have been upfront with you about it all. But, I was scared of fucking it up, you know? Scared you knowing about her would push you away. And now… I guess it blew up in my face even more than I thought it would…backfired completely.” You shake your head as you exhale a deep breath, letting a silence fall between the two of you. 

“I understand, Jake,” she finally whispers. “I really do…”

“Really? You do?”

“Mhmm. I get how hard that must have been. Especially since you had no idea it was even happening for so long,” she explains. You nod your head in agreement. “Feels fucking stupid now, I should have picked up on it.” 

“But she still lives with you. Still thinks you’re hers…” she reiterates. 

“Yes. Well, I guess? She still calls constantly, still texts me incessantly–”

“Was that who was calling the night we… ya know…”

You face reddens at the memory of that first night you hooked up, when you couldn’t even fucking perform for her. You nod. “Yeah. Well, her and my techs. It was a whole thing.”

“God…” she says, standing from the bed and shaking her hands out by her sides. She starts pacing the room and running her hands through her hair. “I feel so stupid…”

“You feel stupid?! Y/N, I am the idiot, here, not you…” you argue, standing from the bed as well. “I’m the one that fucked everything up and probably lost you completely.”

She stops and rolls her eyes at you, tears poking from the corners of them. “I should have… I should have asked you if you had someone, Jake. I should have gotten to know you better…” she starts to cry. “That’s like, girl rule #1.”

“Noooo no no, please don’t cry, Y/N…” you rush to her, gently placing your hands on the undersides of her elbows as she crosses them protectively across her chest. 

She runs a hand under her eye as she wipes a falling tear away. She scoffs at herself.

“No, Y/N. That was my fault. We kinda just…happened, you know? Our lust got the best of us,” you laugh a little at the memory of sneaking her into the bathroom that night at the bar.

“My suspicions kinda drove me away, ya know? I knew something was up the night Sam came to your room, talking all that…” she says. “You hiding me in the fucking bathroom.”

“Yeah, yeah I figured as much. I should have told you right then and there, I’m so sorry,” you plead. 

“I’m not gonna lie, Jake, my trust is…”

“Probably fucking shattered, isn’t it?” you ask, feeling a bottomless feeling in your chest. Like the whole situation has no happy ending, because how could it? Everything is fucked. 

She shrugs, looking past you at nothing. “I don’t know.” She walks slowly and sits back on the bed. “And Mia and Lyla? They–”

“Lyla is Isla’s best friend, yes. So of course Mia is pulled into that, as well. And, of course they are praying on my downfall. They don’t know my side of the story,” you explain, suddenly realizing that at the same time, Y/N doesn’t know Isla’s side of this story. You hope that she takes your’s in stride. 

“Great, great. Cool,” she complains. “Now they hate me, too.”

“No, I’m not gonna let that happen. I told Lyla to come and speak with me directly if she wanted the full, true story. We’ll get that sorted out, don’t worry,” you explain. “No one hates you.”

“You aren’t mad at me for… with Murph?” she asks. 

Ah, fuck. 

“Shit, I mean… I’m not mad, I don’t guess. I’m… I guess I’m blindsided with that, too,” you know you can’t explain how you feel, because you truly haven’t had time to even process it yet. “I pushed you away, I get that. Fuck, we hardly spoke for a week. Of course you wanted nothing to do with me. Then Isla goes and adds you on social media…? I mean. Fuck, I get it. Murph is… a cool guy…” you have trouble admitting it. 

“It’s not that serious, Jake,” she says, almost a whimper. “He and I, we just… clicked.”

Her words almost cut you in half. You thought she clicked with you. 

“I get that,” you choke, as much as you hate to say it, you have hardly any dog left in this fight. “Listen, the bottom line is, I know I fucked up. Royally. I wouldn’t blame you if you never want to speak to me again. I don’t blame you for running away from me. But… I swear to god, Y/N, I would fight for you to the end of my days… You gave me something that I haven’t had in so long, I hardly remembered how it felt to be happy. You gave me excitement, and energy, and… you showed me that even though my life was absolute shit, it didn’t have to be that way. You showed me happiness, Y/N. I can’t ask for more than that. And if you ever give me another chance, I know I’d spend all my time repaying you for just that little bit of happiness you gave me, because it was one of the best times of my entire life.” You let out another shaky, huffed breath, fighting back tears, yourself.

Her eyes begin to well again, and you even work the tiniest smile from her. She licks her lips, rubbing them together. “Might take me some time, Jake. I don’t–”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight. I just don’t want you to hate me.”

She shakes her head. “Don’t hate you…”

She relaxes back against the fluffy pillows on her bed, her eyes obviously becoming heavy. 

“Can we agree to start fresh? As friends? Forget about all the stupid shit?” you extend your hand out for her to shake, praying that if she could just give you this….

She takes it gently, clicking her tongue. “My intuition is telling me not to, but. I don’t see anything wrong with starting fresh… Honesty. From here on out.” She shakes it with a little firmness at the conclusion of her sentence. 

“Good. Yes. Perfect, even. I promise,” you say with a little added sugar in your words. “Please just understand that my… relationship at home is anything but. She’s… so far gone from my mind I can’t even explain it to you. My number one priority is finding her somewhere else to live when we get home.”

She nods again. “That’s really none of my business, Jake.”

“Yes it is, Y/N. We’re friends now, remember?” you give her a sexy side smile, knowing that just having her in your life again would be enough, for now. “Thank you… for hearing me out.”

“Thank you for explaining. If only you’d have done that weeks ago…” she rolls her eyes playfully. 

“I know, I know, shit,” you taunt, rising from the bed again. As she walks you to the door, you find yourself fighting off the urge to pull her in, still sobbing a little from earlier. You want to feel her touch again, feel her body against yours and kiss away the saltiness of her tears. But you can’t do that anymore. 

When she opens the door and you approach the threshold, you turn back to her, letting your hand push a strand of fallen hair from her eye. “I still want you in my life, Y/N. You’re too good to let go, I don’t wanna let you go…You’ve still got me…” you say through a whisper, feeling boldness rising in your chest.

She smiles and leans her head into the touch of your hand, but she brushes it away quickly. “Go to bed, Jake.” 

You give her one last knowing look, holding her stare for just a second too long, hoping that one last ditch effort to keep you on her mind would be enough to truly start things fresh. 

Lord knows you’d do anything to get her back again.

—

HER POV

When morning comes it feels different. A weight has been lifted from your shoulders and the day doesn’t seem so daunting. You are glad that you and Jake finally talked things through, though you wish it would have happened weeks ago when you could have stopped all this from happening in the first place. 

You quickly dress and pack your suitcase, knowing that van call is approaching quickly and that everyone will be assembling down in the lobby before you know it. You feel happy with your appearance as you make your way to the elevator, pushing the button and waiting as it climbs to your floor. As the doors spring open, you see none other than Murph waiting inside with his suitcase. 

“Well good morning,” he smiles, motioning for you to join him inside. 

“Good morning,” you answer, rolling your suitcase in behind you.

“Did you have a good evening?” he asks, adjusting his hat. 

“It was alright,” you answer truthfully. “You excited to head to Manchester?” 

“Think I’m more excited for Glasgow if I’m honest with you,” he smirks, pressing the button to close the doors. 

“Can’t imagine why,” you wink, feeling the elevator start to move toward the lobby, singing the ‘Da da da da da’s’ of ‘Howlin’ For You’.

The doors spring open and you step out onto the cobblestone lobby floor, your suitcase bumping along behind you. As you turn the corner you see your group huddled up together talking quietly. They’re standing awkwardly, seeming more out of sorts than normal. It’s then you lay eyes on the auburn haired girl you studied in great detail just last night, as she stands hand in hand with Jake.

Isla. 

In a tizzy of nerves, you turn to talk to Murph, only to find that he has walked away to meet with Dean and his own group. You’re alone and you have to face this. You swallow back your nerve and decide that you will walk over to the group with your head held high, ready to meet the girl Jake swore up and down he was done with. 

As she stands beside him. 

Holding his fucking hand. 

“Y/N!” Paul shouts, grabbing your attention as he stands next to Ty. Everyone's heads turn to look at you, including Jake’s and you feel frozen in place. His face is solemn, with a hint of guilt hiding in his brown eyes. 

You step up to the small circle of people, pretending that nothing is wrong, smiling and greeting everyone with a bright and bubbly smile. If you’re going to do anything, you’re going to make your first impression on Isla one that she won’t soon forget. Your eyes flick over to Ty who is silently telling you that you will definitely be talking later. Josh’s eyes meet yours next, sad and defeated as he stands next to her, showing his obvious feelings towards the situation you've found yourselves in. 

Jake looks clearly burdened, like a lifeless shell standing there as his face is vacant of any loving emotion whatsoever. His movements are aimless, his posture slouched. And for a split second, you actually feel sorry for him. 

Until you regain your clarity, opting to stay on the clueless side of this very obviously two-sided party. 

The lying fucking son of a bitch. 

“Oh hey, Y/N!” Lyla says cheerfully, “So glad we caught you, I just wanted to introduce you to someone. This is Isla, Jake’s girlfriend!”

Isla extends her hand to you, dropping Jake’s at his side. You can feel her laser sharp eyes digging through your skull, her glare almost enough to knock you over. Your eyes meet Jake’s, looking sad and withdrawn before you look back at Isla, and grasp her hand. “Hi, I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

She shakes your hand weakly before dropping hers to her side, falling into Jake’s shoulder to stake her claim. His face goes stark white. 

“I’m so glad to finally meet you,” she coos. “I have heard all about you.”

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[anxresi]

I Beg To Differ.

Okay, now just because I'm about to embark on an epic rant does NOT mean I think anything bad about you as a person, OP. It's just on this one teensie-weensie most minor of points, I happen to think you're 100% wrong. Just thought I'd clarify that, so no offense intended. Anyway, on with the show...

Nah, they did us SO dirty with Chloe. I hear your above argument a lot, and it WOULD be a fair point… if it wasn't for the fact that there are SO many clear signs this wasn't what was intended from the beginning that it makes your reasoning completely null and void. Chloe's 'arc' was the most blatant case of in-show character assassination I've ever had the displeasure of witnessing, and I'm about to explain why. Read on! (If you want to, that is.... no pressure).

They strung us along for at least three seasons with various hints about her 'traumatic past', her problems with her often absent mother (which Marinette didn't help by encouraging them to bond because 'they're both such awful people'), showed her genuinely apologizing to her victims, protecting Sabrina from akumatization and having times when she treated her as a real friend, sacrificing herself to save the day occasionally, hugging Miss Bustier in a moment of genuine emotion, telling Ladybug how 'useless' she felt in a teary rooftop encounter, saving lives both as a superhero and a civilian (check back if you don't believe me), giving Adrien a moving speech on his phone about how 'she'd always be there for him', sharing a really close bond with her father, telling her butler Jean it was time she started doing things for herself, loving Mr Cuddly, adoring Pollen… I could go on. Not the best person in the world, true.... but a promising start. Green shoots, and all that. Her name literally means that.

S4 simply forgot any of this happened, and literally pushed her burgeoning development off a cliff with Sisyphu's boulder tied to it's big toe. There was NO build-up, NO foreshadowing, NO precedent for Chloe suddenly becoming a one-dimensional total-sociopath irredeemable-monster AT ALL, they simply made her that way on a whim. They had her start acting like a complete psycho for the evilz, made her the most stupid person in the show BY FAR, severed ALL of her few close relationships, wrote AN ENTIRE FLASHBACK EPISODE in incrimate her newfound nastiness even more and 'punished' her by sending her off exiled on a plane in tears with her abusive mother to… what else? Get abused, of course. GREAT MESSAGE TO ALL THE VULNERABLE TEENAGE GIRLS OUT THERE. (I won't even get into how utterly useless and blandly boring her 'replacement' of a plot device Mary S... oops, I mean Zoe is).

And we're supposed to believe the former corrupt mayor Andre, the terrorist Gabriel Agreste and Thomas Astruc (you know him) are the GOOD guys here? Well, I'd like to tell you what I'd like to do to them… but for fear of censorship, I'd better withhold that particular information for now.

The upshot of it is… if Chloe had been bad from the beginning and terrible at the end, I'd have accepted it. Heck, if her so-called damnation arc was even halfway well written and gave us an accurate and compelling look at the moral descent a person who's capable of redemption could take to the light but ultimately chose to stay on the Dark Side, this would've been highly disappointing to me but fine from a storytelling perspective.

But they didn't give us anything like that, did they? It was just… 'pretend the last three seasons never happened, develop amnesia, hit yourself repeatedly on the head with a shovel… we don't care. Just accept this is the NEW Chloe without question despite past evidence, because you won't be getting any answers. Now let's go back to what we're REALLY here for… Marichat, Ladynoire, Adrinette and that other stupid ship name. SWOON!'

Thanks, but no thanks. Did I ever tell you how much I HATE this stupid show? Apologies if I didn't make that clear enough.

[put-me-through-the-wall]

Girl Next Door- Pt. 2

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x reader

Word count: 3k

Summary: Simon finally accept your offer for dinner. Did you mention you can cook?

A/N: I was a little slow on this but the idea of them getting close was stressing me out, okay? Also my MIL was in town and I couldn't get in the groove. All the support so far is amazing, thank you guys so much! If y'all like it there will be more to come. Warning: still slow burning

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Part I

━━━━⊱♡⊰━━━━

Simon sits across from you at your tiny dining table pressed against the wall of your cramped kitchen. You managed to lure him in with a fairly nice bottle of unopened scotch you found in the back of your cabinet that had potentially fallen into one of your own boxes when moving from your ex's house. 

He looks around your quaint little one bedroom apartment. It was a lot different than his own. The literal layout was the same. No extra rooms or walls but you’d done something different in here. The whole space had a cozy feeling to it. Every surface was decorated with useless gadgets and trinkets that he didn't understand the purpose of. Lots of blankets, pillows, soft things. You had music quietly playing through your TV speakers in the living room. A few lamps fill the dim room creating a subtle yellow glow that hits the high points of your face, softening your tired features.

"Do you think there's something wrong with me?" you suddenly blurt out.

"S'cuse me?" Simon asks, caught off guard by the question.

"Lately I've been feeling like there's something inside of me that attracts horrible guys. Like, is there a beacon coming out my head that says 'hey, come over here. I'm vulnerable and easy'."

Simon pauses, unsure how to respond. He watches your face closely. You're sad eyes looking to him for an answer he doesn't have. "I think you're...nice," but he has a feeling that's not what you wanted to hear.

"nice?" You let out a humorless laugh. "Maybe that's the problem. Nice must translate to doormat," You sigh and drop your head into your hands. 

Simon takes a sip of his drink. He's growing concerned this is entering too friendly territory. Then you pop your head back up.

"So, how much did you hear?"

"Not much"

"Yeah right," You toss him a coy smile. “Can I tell you what happened?”

“Sure,”

“Alright, so” you take a sip of your own drink and a deep breath before recounting your story. "I met him at work. He was really nice and offered to pick me up a coffee on his way in one day. I haven’t made any friends at work yet so it was nice just to chat over a coffee. Then we started having lunch together. Nothing serious just in the break room but it felt good to hear about something other than notes from my editor. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, I mean I moved here to focus on myself not continue dating more crappy guys. So of course he started texting me and he was really sweet. He complimented my outfits and thought all my jokes were hilarious apparently. I really wasn’t trying to get involved with this guy though. He said something about hearing I can cook and of course I said I do. It’s part of my job, duh. He’s giving my shit about it so I invited him over for dinner. I made this creamy potato gnocchi with Italian sausage that I got from that great butcher on the corner. I even hand rolled the gnocchi. I mean, who wouldn't kill for an authentic Italian meal?"

"He's sounds like some guy"

"Not really, I was testing out a new recipe for the column so, two birds one stone. Anyways, he comes up and we have some wine and listen to some music. It was going really well so far. Then I go to bring out a nice charcuterie board for an appetizer while the pasta finishes baking. While I'm bringing it to him I can see he's on his phone, texting someone and literally giggling. I walk up behind him and he is sexting. On my couch!" you throw you hands up incredulously. "Well, I thought he was. He’s looking at a picture of some girl bent over then I realize it’s me. He took a picture of my ass, while I was making him dinner. I couldn't fucking believe it. What kind of a scumbag does that to a woman preparing a fucking meal for him? Now, this is not something I'm proud of so let the record show this is very out of character for me but these were extraordinary circumstances. So, I dropped the fig chutney on his head. Right in his stupid quaffed hair. He jumps up and he's all mad and starts yelling and I'm yelling back. He calls me a crazy bitch then I call him a perv. After that he left." you conclude with a shrug.

"Wow" Simon responds, truly taken aback by the series of events. 

"Yeah, then you know the rest from there. I don't know what came over me. I guess after my last breakup I haven't felt very good about myself and this guy made me feel, I don't know- fun? That feels silly to say. I should’ve known better from a guy that works the celebrity gossip section. I probably looked like a big baby out there, how dramatic. I'm sorry about that, again."

"You don't need to apologize."

"After I moved here I thought things would be different. I thought guys in the city were classier I guess. Turns out all guys are the same. Just take what they want and go. Do you want another drink?" You point to his now empty glass. 

"Sure." You snag his cup and stand. He watches you walk over to the counter in your silky slip dress. The sleek fabric clings to your waist. Flaring around your hips and down your thighs. The warm light reflects on the shiny material, shifting with each step you take. It tightens perfectly about your waist and cinched with a neat little bow in the back. He wonders why you would wear a dress like that for this guy.

"So, do you date?" you question in a seemingly casual tone.

"No" 

"Yeah right," you laugh and look over your shoulder to see his stoney expression and your smile fades. "Oh, sorry, I just- I find that hard to believe."

"Why is that?" He tilts his head and you focus back on filling his glass. 

"It's just, you're a good looking guy. I would think you'd get plenty of female attention," You pivot back around and place the glass before him. You lean on the table with one hand and prop the other on your waist. 

"'M not interested," his gaze stays fixed on the brown liquid, grabbing it and taking another sip. He doesn't miss the way you deflated the slightest bit. 

"Maybe I should take a page out of your book, as in maybe swearing off men completely" The oven timer dings. "Oh! pasta!" You jump over and grab your oven mitts. You drop the oven door and slide out the sizzling dish. An aroma of cheese and basil fills the air. Your stomach audibly growls.

You pull down two plates from your cabinet. You serve up the steaming pasta, sprinkling parmesan and fresh chopped herbs for garnish. You proudly carry over the two dishes and place them carefully on the table. You place your hands on your hips while gazing down at the platter.

"This looks...great." Simon is truly taken aback by the incredible looking dish. 

"Wait, don't eat yet. Let me get a picture." You scamper into your living room, grabbing your phone off the coffee table and scurrying back. You hold your phone high above for a birds eye view. Simon scoots his chair back to avoid the gaze of the lens. The camera clicks with a flash. You examine the photo, seeming satisfied with the quality and finally taking a seat in your own chair. "It was okay if you were in the picture. I don't mind." 

"I do," he says simply. 

To anyone else, Simon comes off as rude or callous but you, you never seem to let his shortness affect you. You take his words and just keep going. You don't mind his lack of conversation. It seems you are totally satisfied with having someone there to listen. He was starting to think he didn't mind listening so much. 

"Oh," You shift uncomfortably in your chair. "Sorry then. Well, let me know what you think. Try to be detailed with your feelings about it if you can. You're my guinea pig and be honest. I don't want to put this out when it's garbage."

He proceeds to take a forkful in his mouth. He cannot control the groan that escapes his throat as the bold flavor hits his tongue. This is far cry from his usual take away food. He can't remember the last time he had a home cooked meal now that he thinks about it. 

"This is quite good." He grumbled between bites. Not caring to finish chewing before he's stabbing at the pasta on the plate once again. 

"Really? You don't need to be nice to spare my feelings. I don't mind criticism."

He shoves more in his mouth. "I’m serious"

"Thank you" You giggle watching him scarf down the still steaming hot meal. 

The two of you finish your respective plates without much more conversation to be had. On your last few bites you meet Simon's eyes as he reclines back in the creaky wooden chair, hands laying across his stomach. His head tips back with a satisfied grumble making a proud smile play across your lips. This may be the first time you've seen him express a true human emotion in your presence. 

"There's more if you want?"

"No, I'm stuffed." 

If you know one thing as a part time chef, food is the way to a man's heart. You knew if Simon tasted what you could make his ice exterior would melt away. You stand up and walk to the fridge. 

"Too stuffed for dessert?" you pull out a glass bowl filled with layers of custard, strawberries, cake, and whipped cream. "I made a traditional English trifle. Y'know for the holidays coming up and who doesn't love custard?" you shrug while carrying the bowl over to the table. You hurry back to the kitchen to grab two saucers and plate up the dessert.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you're trying to butter me up." he comments, intently watching as you carefully slice through the layers. "What do you know about English food?" 

"Not much, which is why this is a special occasion. I can get some insight from a genuine Englishman," you slide the saucer to him. "Everything happens for a reason, I guess you were meant to be here tonight" you don’t realize how weird that comment is until it's already left your mouth. You suppress the feeling and internally cringe. You take a seat with your own plate and try a bite. "Hey, that's not too bad. I think Gordon Ramsey would be proud"

Simon actually chuckles when you compliment yourself making you giggle in return. This whole night is very different than you expected. Not that you were complaining.

Your leg bumps his underneath the narrow table. Your bare foot brushing up the edge of his pant leg for the briefest moment. A deep blush rises to your cheeks the second you realize it's his leg instead of the table's. 

"Oh, sorry!" you quickly draw your legs underneath your chair. Simon pauses his eating and meets your gaze. 

"S'alright," he slowly slides his long leg across the distance and nudges the shin of your tucked legs with the toe of his boot. "You scared?"

"What?" you allow your legs to relax, your calves sitting on either side of his outstretched leg. It felt natural, almost domestic. "You don't scare me." you're lying paired with an anxious laugh.

"No?" As he says this his foot shifts underneath the supports of your chair and yanks it forward causing your chair to skid a few inches across the tile, pressing you further into the table as you let you a surprised yelp. Hands brace against the edge of the table. Simon maintains his calm composure. "Are you sure?" he takes another bite of the fluffy dessert. 

You weren't sure if it was the liquor going to your head or the rush of adrenaline but you felt bold. You rest your cheek on your propped up hand, offering the most innocent eyes you can muster, as you delicately slide your foot along the smooth leather of his boot. Simon swallows and gently places his fork back on the table.

"What do you think of it?" you question in a hushed tone. your foot travels further up his ankle, dipping under his pant leg to feel his hot skin underneath. 

"It's sweet," He states simply but his words roll off his tongue smooth as butter. 

"Not too sweet?" You tilt your head the slightest bit.

"Hm," he hums in contemplation. Your eyes drift down to watch his hands grasp his drink. He grips the glass in his large palm. The rolled sleeves of his long sleeve reveal the muscles in his arm shifting when he raises the glass to his mouth. For the first time you notice a faint raised scar cutting through the outer corner of his lip and stopping just shy of the edge of his nose. He takes a long swig of the brown liquid, not quite finishing the drink. As he pulls back his lips glisten in the warm light. "Not bad when it's paired with a stiff drink," his tongue is quick to swipe across, collecting the residue. 

"I'll be sure to make a note of that." you smile sweetly. "Can I get you another drink?" You look down at the last sip coating the bottom of the glass. You make sure to flutter your lashes when you look back up at him. 

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" A smirk raises the corner of his mouth.

"No," you laugh. "Why, do you want me to?" 

He releases a deep gravelly laugh that makes your stomach stir. Then he glances at his watch and your stomach drops. 

"I need to get going." He mumbles. He pulls his leg away from yours and rises out of his chair. 

"Wait," you rush to stand, almost knocking your seat over in the process. "Can I- uh- get you a bit of pasta to go? There’s plenty left" Trying to think of any excuse to keep him here a moment longer. 

"S'okay, save it. Maybe I'll come by another time." He turns and steps out of your kitchen and into the hallway leading to your front door in only a few wide strides. 

"Are you sure?" You don't intend for your voice to come out as needy as it does. You follow on his heels like a lost puppy.

"I've got an early morning." Before he reaches the door he turns, seemingly surprised by how close you are to him. He looks down at your big round eyes. 

"Okay," you smile trying not to look defeated. "Well, you're welcome over anytime. I mean it, just knock and I'll probably be home. I'm gonna try writing at home more. Try to avoid that guy." You let out a halfhearted chuckle. "Maybe, you should get my number. Y'know, in case you want to check if I'm home."

"I'm alright, I'll just knock" His hand finds the doorknob. "Thanks for dinner, it was nice" Then he turns to go. Closing the door politely behind him. 

You rush to the peephole, watching his distorted figure step out of sight followed by the sound of his own door shutting. You rest your hot forehead against the cool wood grain of your door. 

You step back in the kitchen and begin putting away the leftovers. Piling the pasta into tupperware, rinsing the plates, collecting silverware. His glass remains in place with a sliver of scotch leftover. You hold the glass up in the light and see a faint smudge on its rim. You twist the cup around so your own mouth lines up with the imprint he left. You swallow the last bit slowly, savoring the way the sharp burn eases into a smooth, smoky aftertaste. You never liked scotch, but now you are starting to understand the meaning of an acquired taste.

The low atmospheric music is abruptly interrupted by an ad loudly cutting through the calm space. You rush into the living room to find the remote, hiding among the cushions and various throw pillows. Growing frustrated you end up walking over and manually hitting the power button. The silence that replaces it isn’t much better though. You step back and let your weak legs carry you until you collapse onto the comfort of your couch. The wine followed by the glass of scotch you polished off makes your head feel light but your limbs so heavy. You turn from your back to your side, realizing the used glass is still clutched in your hand. 

You reach across the gap and set it down on the coffee table with a thud. Your hand retreats back to rest under your head. You stare at it, taking in all the imperfections left on its reflective surface. Your eyes trace the rim once again looking for the smudge. On the corner you see the shadow of an impression peeking out underneath the red lipstick mark you have smeared over it. 

Across the wall Simon falls back on his own couch. He looks around his dull apartment wondering what you have done differently to make your place look so welcoming. He never minded the minimal decorations he had. A photo frame with his team that his buddy gifted him and a couple of books always seemed like enough. After comparison though it just feels empty. 

He can hear you stomp across your floor. Footstep rushing from the kitchen until you're straight ahead. The sound of your TV turning off bathes the room in sudden silence. Only thing he can hear now is the rushing of his air conditioning unit. He considered your music annoying but now he couldn’t deny the way it added an unconscious energy to the small unit. Now sitting here, the cool tone of the overhead kitchen light illuminating into the living room he feels as though something is missing. Maybe a nice lamp would help. 

━━━━⊱♡⊰━━━━

@azkza @neurolept @contractedcriteria @hidden-treasures21 @sprokat @stark-red19

[ts19009]

Hong's Anatomy: Part 3

Pediatrician surgeon!  Joshua x pediatric surgeon!  Female Reader 

Synopsis: Coming to Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital wasn’t on your bucket list, that’s for sure, but when you meet the head of your department, Joshua Hong, it's one of the only things that constantly brightens your day. 

Warnings: swearing, made up medical terms and procedures, i have no idea if any of this is medically accurate it’s just for story, flirting, smut (18+) (oral: f -receiving, penetrative sex, no protection, aftercare)

Words: 5.9k words

NOT EDITED, SO I MAY GO BACK AND EDIT LATER (teehee)

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“You what?” Rose shrieked, as you told her what happened over the weekend with Joshua. You spared her all the details, but it was still enough for a surprised reaction. 

“Rose!” You hushed, “I don’t want the whole hospital to know.” 

“Sorry,” she said, looking down at her tablet, trying to be discreet. “So are you and Doctor. Hong dating now?”

“I don’t know, we didn’t talk about it after getting up,” you confessed. It was true, after waking up you both ate breakfast and spent the rest of the morning talking about surgeries before he left. You probably should have talked about the status of your relationship, but it just never came up. 

“Well you can now, he’s coming this way,” Rose said, briefly looking up in the direction of Joshua. You turned around to see him strutting his way over to you both with a big smile on his face. 

“Doctor. L/N, Rose. Lovely day we’re having!” He exclaimed, leaning against the desk, causing you to let out a chuckle. “What?” 

“Nothing, I’ve just never seen you this happy to be in on a Monday,” you answered as Joshua shrugged. 

“I guess I have a reason to be happy to come in, and it just so happens to be a Monday,” he flirted, winking at you. Rose let out a laugh, while you blushed and looked around, again, to make sure no one was looking at you. 

“Joshua,” you warned, “not in public!” 

“What’s not in public?” Jeonghan asked, approaching the desk. 

“I gotta go check in on a patient,” Rose said, looking towards you. 

Shit. 

She was leaving you with both the men you were potentially interested in.

“Nothing’a not in public,” you stuttered, as Jeonghan raised an eyebrow in question. “What are you down here for?” 

“I have cleft palate surgery in a few minutes on room twelve,” he said, pointing behind him. It was a little boy named Miles. 

“Right, good luck. Miles is really excited,” you said, as Jeonghan nodded. 

“What about you too?” 

“I’m in the pit. I just came up for my break.” Joshua sighed, winking at you. Jeonghan noticed the wink and looked between you too for a few seconds before turning to you. 

“What about you?” 

“Uhh, I’m treating a stage four lung cancer patient with Doctor Wen,” you said, looking between Joshua and Jeonghan. It was like a weird guy stand off thing going on between them. They were both looking at you.

“We haven’t worked together in a while,” Jeonghan added, “I miss your work ethic. Quick thinking, efficient, hard working. Every doctor's dream.” 

“I would say that I hope we get to work with each other soon, but..” Jeonghan nodded. 

“We have a surgery together tomorrow!” Joshua interrupted. Jeonghan’s eyebrows raised and you sighed and internally wanted to hit Joshua over the head. 

“Well, I have to go to surgery here pretty soon,” Jeonghan chuckled, “lovely to see you again Y/n,” he smiled at you before side eyeing Joshua and giving him a curt nod. “Doctor. Hong.” 

As soon as Joshua turned the corner you hit his shoulder. “What the hell was that?” You exclaim, as he holds his shoulder. 

“Ow!” 

“I told you, not in public,” you sighed, “that was very so in public.” 

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help it. Plus Jeonghan is attracted to you,” Joshua whispered, “he wanted to set up another date. He told me yesterday. I just don’t know where we stand right now.” 

“We can talk about where we stand after work okay? Let’s meet at Joe’s.” Joshua nodded before Rose called you to a code blue. Joshua quickly followed you to the room where Joy, your stage four lung cancer patient, was crashing. 

“Push 1 milligram of Epinephrine, start compressions and get a crash cart!” Joshua ordered as you started compressions. 

“The chemotherapy must have weakened his heart more than we had realized,” you told Joshua, backing off as he charged the paddles to 200. 

“Clear!” Nothing. “250. Clear”

“We got him, page Doctor Wen and let's get to the OR,” you ordered Jake as he nodded. 

“Do you want me to come with you?” Joshua asked, as you shook your head. 

“No, you gotta go down to the pit. Finish your lunch, I’ll tell you how it goes tonight,” you promised as Joshua nodded and gave your hand a little squeeze before leaving. 

“Are we ready to kick cancer's ass?” Jun asked, walking into the scrub room, you nodded but didn’t say anything. “I heard that Joshua helped save him.” 

“He did,” you simply said, Jun kept washing his hands. You both kept washing your hands in not quite comfortable silence, but not awkward silence. 

“He always talks about how much he enjoys working with you,” he says, turning off the tap, “I don’t know what’s going on between you too, but he talks with us a lot and he really likes you. He was excited to see you at Jeonghan’s party.” 

If Jun only knew what happened after Jeonghan’s party. 

“I like working with him too, but it’s a little bit more complicated than a normal situation Jun,” you said, also turning off the tap and following him into the OR. “He’s my boss.” 

“It doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t want it to be. It’s not like either of you have a kid,” he said, as the nurses were scrubbing you both. 

“Yeah, but what if we get into an argument at home and then have to come to work. That messes up your communication, which can cause a patient a life,” you explain. 

“That’s what we’re here for,” he says, placing a hand on your shoulder, “you’re not in this alone. Everyone supports you, even Jeonghan.” 

You were surprised to hear that Jeonghan was supportive of you and Joshua. Joshua said that he was giving the opposite impression. 

“I know it may seem like he doesn’t. But he’s an adult, and if you don’t choose him he’ll be okay,” Jun said, as Rose handed him a scalpel. “Now, let’s get this cancer under control so that this little boy can go home.” 

You started with monitoring his heart and making sure that it was strong enough to take the surgery before starting dissecting the cancer. Joey had about thirty tumors everywhere over and in his lung. Jun was the best thoracic surgeon, but Joey was only seven years old. His lungs were small, so you had to be extra careful not to make the wrong cut.

“Lap pads,” Jun said, as Green handed him some lap pads. “So are you going to talk to Joshua?” You looked up from your patient to look at Jun. He hadn’t looked up yet, but did when you started looking at him. 

“What do you mean?” 

“Come on Y/N. You’ve both been beating around this bush since you’ve gotten here. He’s waiting for you to give him the signal.” 

‘I’ve given him plenty of signals Jun,” you sighed, “it’s been a month since I’ve been here. I’m still trying to get to know him.” You took off another tumor. 

“You see him everyday Y/N. Work with him almost everyday, what do you not know about him?” Jun asked, taking another tumor off as you sighed and put your scalpel down to look up at him again. 

“I don’t know. What is his favorite food? What’s his favorite color?” You said, as Jun stopped dissecting and put down his scalpel for a second. 

“Just talk to him Y/N. Please,” he pleaded. You sighed, but nodded. You didn’t have to tell him that you were planning on talking to him after work. Not everything should be your friend's business. 

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“How was the surgery?” Jeonghan asked, as you came out of the OR with Jun behind you. 

“It was good, we managed to get all his tumors out. Now he just has to do a few weeks of chemo,” you smiled, leaning against the wall and took a deep breath as Jeonghan stood in front of you and handed you a cup of coffee. 

“That’s amazing, congratulations,” he smiled. “Do you want to go on a not date after work? There's a diner by my new place that I haven’t tried yet and was too scared to go alone if the food sucks.” 

You winced and took the cup out of his hands before taking a sip, “I would, but.. I’m meeting with Joshua after work. We really need to talk about…” you trailed off as Jeonghan nodded. 

“Ahh of course, don’t worry about it,” he smiled. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, we can go another time. It’s not closing tomorrow,” he said, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “It does look like I need to step up my game a little bit more though.” 

You blushed and chuckled before looking over his shoulder to see Joshua standing in the middle of the hallway watching the entire interaction happen. 

“Joshua!” You exclaimed, as Jeonghan dropped your hand and spun around. You tried to move around Jeonghan to get to him, but it was too late, Joshua was already walking away. You followed him down the hall a little ways before Rose stopped you by calling your name. 

“Doctor Y/N, it’s Joey!” 

Joey’s monitor was beeping like crazy and you check his monitor. 

“BP 80/90!” 

“Get a ventilation tube!” You ordered, “and page Doctor. Wen!” 

Rose nodded and handed you the tube as you opened Joey’s mouth and started ventilating him. By the time you got the tube down his throat and the monitor started steadying out Doctor. Jun had run from the pit. 

“What happened?” He said, taking the stethoscope off his chest and putting it up against his chest. 

“I think his lungs are collapsing.” Jun nodded and looked at his chart. 

“I need a chest tube!” Rose handed him one and a scalpel and he moved quickly to make an inspection and place the tube between the ribs into the space around the lungs to help drain the air and allow the lung to expand. 

“Is he going to be okay?” Joey’s older sister asked, from outside the room. 

“His stats are looking better already. He’s going to be under for another day or two, but once his lung re-expands we’ll take a look at what to do next,” you explained, as she nodded and called her parents. 

“This poor kid, weak lungs, weak heart. Let’s hope nothing else craps out on him,” Jun says, taking off his gloves and throwing them in the trash. You scoffed, but nodded. 

“How did we not see the signs of it collapsing?” You asked, as Jun shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I double checked to make sure there were no holes and that the arteries were clear, I guess. I must have ticked it when closing up.” 

“I’m going to go take a nap in the on-call room. Call me if anything changes,” you said to both Rose and Jun as they both nodded and started talking to each other about next steps for Joey. 

When you got to the on-call room you opened it to see Joshua lying there, not asleep yet, but his eyes were closed. He quickly jumped up when you closed the door on him, but scoffed and went to lay back down. 

You didn’t say anything, but you went to the bed and straddled him. Joshua’s eyes darted open in surprise, but didn’t say anything and put his hands on your hips and nodded. You both didn’t need to say anything, it was a long, shitty day for both of you. 

You also nodded and leaned down to start kissing him as he squeezed your hips. You sighed into the kiss and pulled away a few seconds later to take off your scrub top and throw it across the room. You were wearing a black push up bra and panty set, and you could tell that Joshua was digging it. He smiled and went to push his shirt off as well. You both moved quickly to take off all of your clothes and went back to passionately kissing each other. Only letting out quiet moans once in a while to not give yourself away. 

“I never thought I’d be the guy to have sex at work,” Joshua sighed, as you moved to start kissing his neck, “another thing I’m not opposed to.” You groaned, and looked up at him to see him smirking, before he cupped your cheek and led your face to his to kiss again. You slid his underwear down his legs and then took yours completely off before looking back to him. He was panting and looking up at you with hooded sleepy eyes. 

All of a sudden you had a great idea. You took your panties in your hand the same time that you lined his cock to your core and started sliding down on him. Before he could let out a moan you put your wet panties in his mouth to muffle them. Joshua’s eyes opened when he felt the fabric hit his lips and moaned again at both the taste of yourself on the panties and when you fully sat yourself all the way down on him. 

He squeezed your hip harder. He didn’t want to leave bruises, but you were so hot and felt so good that he couldn’t give a shit. Once he was fully inside you, you moved your hips a little bit to get yourself used to him before you started rising up and dropping yourself down on him again and then moving your hips back and forth. 

Joshua threw his head back as soon as you dropped on him the first time and moved one of his hands to grope your breast over your bra. He took one strap and pulled it down so that one of your breasts was spilling out of it and started massaging it and pinching the nipple. You gasped at the contact with your sensitive nipple and threw your head back as well. 

You kept moving up and down until Joshua grabbed you and flipped you onto your back and lifted one leg around his hips to keep pounding into you at a new angle. You were getting close. 

“M’ close,” you moaned, as Joshua nodded. 

“Me too baby,” he said, kissing you again and started moving faster and used the other hand that wasn’t holding your leg to rub your clit to bring you over the edge. When you did climax you squeezed down on him hard enough to make him cum as well. You both continued kissing for a few more minutes before he eventually pulled away and out of you. 

You hissed at the loss of contact but Joshua quickly grabbed a few tissues and wiped your legs before plopping himself on top of you. You groaned at the impact but wrapped your arms around him. You liked the closeness and wanted a few more minutes of peace with him before you had to start talking. 

“Do you like me?” You asked, as Joshua chuckled. His chest vibrating against yours. 

“Of course I like you babe. We’ve slept with each other twice in three days,” he said, lifting his head from your shoulder to look you in the face. “Why?” 

“It was something Jun said today in surgery,” you said. 

“He said something?” 

“Nothing bad,” you reassured, “he said that you were waiting for a signal.” Joshua went still on top of you and looked you in the eyes. 

“He told you that?” He asked, as you nodded and pushed some hair from his face. 

“This is my signal,” you whispered. Joshua smiled and took your hand, pressing a kiss to it before kissing you slowly. 

“If I haven’t made it obvious. I really, really like you,” he said in between kisses, “and I want you to be my girlfriend.” 

You smiled, but before you could say anything, Joshua’s pager started going off. It was right beside the bed, so he easily grabbed it. 

“Shit,” he muttered, sitting up and started gathering his clothes. 

“What’s going on?” You asked, propping yourself up on your elbows to watch him. 

“It’s my patient from the pit, he’s code blue,” he said, putting on his shirt. “I’ll see you after work,” he smiled quickly, before rushing out of the room leaving you naked and alone. 

 After your little nap, you still had some time to kill. So you went your way to Jeonghan’s office. You wanted to be Joshua’s girlfriend and you couldn’t accept with Jeonghan still pursuing you. You needed to put an end to the flirting. 

“Is Doctor Yoon still in surgery?” You asked one of the nurses. She shook her head no, and pointed to an office. 

Jeonghan’s office. 

You nodded and thanked her before making your way over and knocking on the door. 

“Come in!” He exclaimed. As you opened the door he looked up from his computer and smiled. “Hey, come in,” he said, gesturing his head for you to sit in a chair across from him. You hesitated but sat down. “You look nervous, what’s up?” He asked, folding his hands and putting them under his chin.

“Joshua asked me to be his girlfriend,” you blurted out. Jeonghan’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth parted a little. 

“Oh. Congratulations,” he said. 

“That’s the thing. I didn’t answer him because I know that even though I like him, I also like you. And I didn’t want to say yes to him when you were still flirting with me,” you confessed. 

“You wanted to come here to tell me to stop flirting with you?” He asked, as you stayed silent for a moment. 

“Yes,” you answered, “I really do like you, but…” you said, but Jeonghan interrupted you. 

“I’m not him?” He asked, a painful smile across his face as you nodded. 

“I didn’t mean to lead you on, but…” 

“It’s okay Y/N. I understand. Can we still be friends?” He asked, standing up. You smiled and stood up as well  before nodding. 

“I’d love to still be friends,” you exclaimed, as Jeonghan spread his arms out for a hug. You smiled and walked around his desk to give him a hug. “You know Jun told me that if I choose Joshua that you’d be okay.” 

“Jun, Joshua and I have been friends for the longest. We went to kindergarten together. That’s why he’s the Joshua and Jeonghan whisperer,” he chuckled, “and he’s right. I’m gonna be okay. It hurts, but I’m gonna be okay.” 

You nodded before your pager went off. “I’m sorry,” Jeonghan nodded and stepped back a bit. 

“Of course, I’ll see you later,” he smiled as you nodded and went to the pit where you were paged. It hurt walking away from Jeonghan like this. Some part of you knew that your relationship would change, but maybe change for the better. 

“What’s going on?” You asked, running into the ER to see a little girl being lifted out of the ambulance. 

“Bella, five years old. Fell off a three story ladder, broke her entire left side. Arms, legs, ribs, collarbone, everything, she's also concussed,” Heesung said, as you both wheeled her into the pit. 

“What the hell was she doing up a three story ladder?” You asked, looking back to see her parents getting out of the ambulance. 

“This was at school, Bella sneaked away and climbed up it. Her parents were the one that watched her fall off the ladder,” he said as you sighed. Bella’s mother was sobbing while her father was talking to the other ambulance driver. 

“Book an OR and call Doctor Chwe!” You ordered. 

“Already here,” he said, coming to the other side of the gurney. “We’re gonna have to operate multiple times at once. I can do the arms and legs, can you do her ribs?” You nodded. 

“Let’s go people!” You hollered, wheeling Bella into the elevator. As soon as you got her into the OR. You immediately started working. Vernon started on her leg to make sure it wouldn’t lose blood circulation and functionality while you started cleaning up her ribs. 

“It’s a mess down here!” Vernon sighed, “everything is broken into a million pieces, even her toes.” 

“Her rib looks pretty nasty as well,” you sighed as well, “it’s not fully grown so we can’t just let it heal on it’s own. I’m gonna have to screw them in place to make sure that they don’t grow out of place and puncture anything.” Vernon nodded and took a second to think about what to do. 

“I’m gonna be down here for a while. When you’re done could you start on her upper side?” 

“Yeah,” you sighed, “it’s gonna be a long day.” 

You spent the next hour placing titanium rods in place to stabilize the brake before moving up to the arm. Her shoulder, elbow, wrist, collarbone, and fingers. You then spent the next two hours alone, then two more with Vernon fixing everything.

“Shit,” you said. It was your last operation on her hand and three out of the five fingers were losing color. 

“What’s going on? I thought her arteries were still intact?” Vernon asked, moving around to try and get a better visual of her hand. 

“Oh no, there’s a cut in this artery, it’s bleeding out,” you said, “Jonah suction on the site right now.” Jonah nodded and put the tube right on the spot. 

“Her other fingers are blue now too,” Vernon exclaimed, “we’re going to have to amputate.” 

“Amputate?” You exclaimed, “we can’t fix the cut, or save her hand?” 

“No, even if we do ‘save’ the hand, I doubt she’ll get any functionality back, his nerves are also severed,” he said, pointing to a nicked vein. 

“Shit, we should have operated on this first,” you exclaimed. 

“No, if I hadn’t operated on her leg, she would have lost it as well,” Vernon reassured, “and if you didn’t fix her rib, her lung would have been punctured. Remember?” 

You nodded and sighed, before getting out the saw and handing it to Vernon. 

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“So how did your patient turn out? The one that interrupted us in the on-call room?” You asked Joshua as he sighed. 

“He’s alive, cracked his skull open. The page was because he was having a seizure. We had to operate again, but he’s alive.” 

“That’s good,” you said, running a hand over his shoulder, “that’s really good.” 

Joshua nodded before taking a sip of his whiskey, “what about you? I heard you had a pit experience as well?” 

“This little girl fell off a three story ladder. Broke the entire left side of her body, we had everything fixed, except her hand. We didn’t notice the debris had nicked a vein. We had to amputate.” 

Joshua winced, and turned towards you fully, “that’s always hard.” He watched you, take a sip out of your drink. 

“Can we talk about something else?” You asked, as he nodded. You both stayed silent for a moment, you both knew what you were going to talk about. 

“You never answered my question earlier,” he smiled, taking your hand in his, “I’m not leaving this bar without an answer.” 

“I’d love to be your girlfriend Joshua Hong,” you smiled back before throwing your arms around his neck and kissing him. 

Joe let out a holler and raised his hands, “finally! A round of drinks for everyone!” You broke away from the kiss to laugh at Joe, you won’t turn down a free drink. “To Doctor L/N! For taking this loser off my hands!” 

“To Doctor L/N!” Joshua chuckled, raising his glass, “my girlfriend,” he admired you, grabbing you by the shoulders and dipping you into a passionate kiss, almost spilling your drink all over the table. 

“Joshua!” You chuckled. 

“It’s okay, we’ll just get another FREE drink from Joe,” he winked before kissing you again, earning another bout of holler. After another round of drinks from Joe, Joshua looked at his watch. It was past midnight and you both had work tomorrow. “Do you want to come back to my place baby?” 

You nodded, not quite sure what his intentions were, but you weren't’ complaining if he did have any ideas. Joshua called an uber to take you back to his house. You didn’t talk a lot waiting for the taxi or on the drive back, you were too occupied with sucking each other's faces off. 

Joshua tipped and rated the uber driver really well. 

“Baby,” Joshua moaned, “we both have work in the morning.” 

“I know, but I’m horny,” you whined, “do you not want to fuck me?” You asked, tilting your head pushing your bottom lip out in a pout.  

“No no no, I never said that. I’m just saying that…” he said, before stopping because you were pressing kisses down his neck. “Alright, but we gotta be quick.” You nodded and started pulling off your shirt as Joshua started pulling his off as well. You took a quick second to look around Joshua’s penthouse. It was a pretty modern bachelor's pad, but before you could look more Joshua was pulling your pants down and grabbing your hand, leading you up a set of stairs to his bedroom. 

“Your apartment is so bland,” you joked as Joshua pressed you up against the hallway wall to continue kissing your neck and collarbones.

“I bought it like this,” he said in between kisses, “my mom said that it lacks a woman’s touch.” 

“You haven’t touched- ahh, any of it?” You asked, in between another moan. 

“NoPE,” he said, popping the p before attaching his lips to a nipple. “I haven’t had any form of girlfriend since college and I always visit my mom, so she’s never been here before.” 

“You’re really talking about your mom when I’m basically naked right now?” Joshua let go of your chest to look you in the eye and raise his eyebrow. “I’ll shut up, keep going,” you said, pushing his head back down. 

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“Can we call in?” You asked, rolling over in bed and reaching to cup Joshua’s cheek. He had just woken up from your basically all nighter. You in fact did not take work into consideration. 

“No, we can not call in because we had too much fun last night. I warned you,” he chuckled sitting up to cup your cheek this time as you pouted. 

“I hate that you're right,” you groaned, throwing your head back as he got out of bed. “I should really have some clothes in here if we’re dating now.” 

“I’m still not used to that. I’m your boyfriend. You’re my girlfriend. We’re dating,” he smiled, “we had sex while dating.” You chuckled and rolled your eyes as he handed you your underwear

“We did.” Joshua smiled and watched you put on your underwear. “I can’t go to work in these clothes.” Joshua smiled and took your hand, guiding you into his closet. Of course he had a walk in-closet. He did live in a penthouse in seattle. 

“I forgot that you’re a rich hot shot doctor,” you both chuckle as he hands you a designer dress shirt. “Do you think this is gonna look weird though? Us showing up together?”

“No, we’re dating babe,” Joshua smiled, “unless you don’t want to tell people yet?” You weren’t exactly sure what you wanted yet. Everything moved fairly quickly. 

“I don’t not want to tell people. Why don’t we not tell others, but we can still act like a couple, let people talk about it. That’s what the nurses love,” you suggest. Joshua nods and hands you a pair of shorts. 

“I can work with that,” he smiled. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Doctor Xu, what’s going on?” You asked, walking into the pit. It was the end of the day, and you were about to go home, when you got the page. 

“Broken spinal cord, fell down a flight of stairs,” he said referring to the teenage girl on the gurney. “We gotta get her into surgery for both a spinal cord surgery and to treat her vertigo.” 

You nodded and started pushing the gurney down the hall to the elevator, “call Doctor. Jeon, we’re gonna need another neurosurgeon.” 

By the time that you got to the OR Wonwoo was already scrubbing up. “Both of us being here isn’t a good sign,” he sighed as you came next to him to start washing your hands. 

“I know, but Minghao said that there wasn’t enough time and that we needed to do both at the same time,” he nodded and looked up at the nurses prepping the girl. “Tell me about her?” 

“I don’t know much. She’s sixteen and she fell down a cliff due to her vertigo. Landed on her back, cracked her skull, ruined her spinal cord,” you listed, “Minghao said that the chances of her walking, let alone living, are pretty slim.” 

“There’s a reason that the best of the best are here though,” he smiled, turning off the tap and pushing the door to the OR open and getting gowned up. Minghao came up and started washing his hands as well, as you sighed and looked at him. He looked nervous, hell, you were nervous. 

When you were finished, you gowned up and waited for Minghao, who was only two minutes behind you. 

“I’ll start on the spinal cord if you want to work with her vertigo,” Wonwoo nodded, “I have to be able to do this alone. Are you good to work with Doctor. Jeon?” 

You nodded and took a sigh. The surgery was called Microvascular Decompression. You were to remove a small piece of bone behind the ear and cut the vestibular nerve, then Minghao would immediately start on repairing the fractured spinal cord. It wasn’t right at the same time, but time in between would be almost nothing. This was the safest way to do it without opening her up for a long amount of time and risking infection.  

You all got to work quickly, but that doesn’t mean that the surgery was quick and by the time that it was time for Minghao to take over it was almost the end of your shift. You’ve been in surgery for three hours and haven’t seen Joshua at all today.  You were gonna stay over time to make sure that the patient came out alive, but Mingaho had a good five hour surgery ahead of him. This was gonna be a long day and you had started cramping really bad. 

Wonwoo had left after his portion of the surgery was done, it was just you and Minghao left to finish, when the monitor started going off. 

“What’s happening?” You asked, as Minghao’s eyes widened and he stopped moving. 

“She has a dural tear,” he muttered, “shit. The tear is causing an infection, we need to repair the tear.” You nodded and looked towards Rose. 

“Let’s get a bone graft!” Rose nodded and before you knew it, you were reconstructing the dura with a bone graft. Thank god for Minghao, who stayed calm during the whole surgery, you however were tired, in pain, and running on very little sleep. 

“Doctor L/N?” Minghao asked, as you stepped back from the table and blinked a few times, your vision was going in and out and your head started spinning. “Y/N?” 

Before you could respond you stumbled back and hit Jake. He stumbled back a bit but caught you before you could hit the ground. “Shit! Y/N?” Jake yelled, as you groaned and started clutching your stomach. 

“My stomach,” you groaned, clutching it, fading in and out of consciousness. 

“Call Doctor Kim and Doctor Hong,” Minghao said, looking up from the patient, he couldn’t leave the surgery yet, but he could help from a distance. The other nurses nodded while Jake lied you down on the ground and turned you to your side to make sure you didn’t choke if you did fully pass out. You were still mumbling in-audible words, but they were quick to get a bed outside the OR. 

All the sudden you were being lifted bridal style and placed into a hospital bed. You opened your eyes to see Joshua and Mingyu pushing you down the hall. “Joshua?” You groaned. 

“We’re taking you up from an ultrasound,” he said, as you were wheeled into the elevator. He took your hand and held it as you winced from the pain. “Can you tell me about your pain?”

“It feels like a cramping pain, but all over my mid section,” you groaned, “plus, I never get cramps.” 

“I’ll call Jihyo once we get out,” Mingyu said, as Joshua nodded. There wasn't anything he could do anymore. 

“Thanks Gyu,” you gently smiled at him. As soon as you got to the pit, Joshua was able to start up the ultrasound before Jihyo came in. 

“Y/N? What’s going on honey?” She asked, putting on a fresh pair of gloves and taking over the ultrasound from Joshua. 

“I don’t know, I was in surgery when the pain started and it just kept getting worse,” you said. She nodded and kept moving the probe around until she found what she was looking for. 

“That!” She exclaimed, pointing at the screen. 

“A cyst?” You asked, as she nodded. 

“Looks like quite a few cysts. These weren’t bothering you before?” You shook your head, “there's almost a dozen. Poor girl, no wonder why you were in pain. I’m gonna book you an OR right now and we'll take care of these.” 

“Right now?” Joshua asked, as she nodded. 

“They’re not causing any damage to your ovaries or anything, but they’re not helping you and you’re in pain,” she explained as Joshua nodded. You were starting to feel a little bit better, since they gave you some painkillers, so you weren’t wincing in pain anymore. “Sit tight and someone will take you up within the hour.”

Once Jihyo was gone it was just Joshua and you. 

“I can’t believe no one has caught all the cysts. I get checked up often,” you say, reaching out for Joshua’s hand. He smiled and took it, pressing a kiss to your palm. 

“Heard you had quite the surgery?” You heard from the door, you looked towards the door to see Jeonghan standing there, a bouquet of flowers in hand. 

“Yeah, almost took out Jake,” you chuckled, pulling your hand from Joshua’s. You didn’t want to rub your relationship in Jeonghan’s face. Joshua cleared his throat and took the flowers from Jeonghan. “They’re beautiful, thank you.” 

“They only had one kind in the gift shop,” he chuckled, “I don’t really have much time to talk, but I wanted to see you before your surgery and make sure you’re all okay. You gave everyone quite the scare.” 

“Thank you Han,” you smiled, “will you make sure Joshua doesn’t lose his mind when I’m in surgery?” Jeonghan chuckled and nodded before leaving you and Joshua alone again. 

“I don’t need him to keep me company,” Joshua scolded. 

“I know, but I don’t want you to have any hard feelings towards each other over what happened. I’d never live it down if you stopped being best friends.” Joshua sighed, he wasn’t mad at Jeonghan for flirting with you, and it was true. This wasn’t the first time they both pursued the same woman. Last time Jeonghan won, but he was hoping that he would be the ultimate winner. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist: @asasilentreader , @myjaeyunn, @gaslysainz@itsnotjop @vixensss

A/N: Hello all! I was pondering the idea of Jeonghan's story line, and don't worry, he's still going to be a big part of the story later down the line. It just wasn't his time quite yet. Hope you all enjoy this chapter! There was so many medical procedures I had to look up for this XD

[silverskull]

Chenford and The Rookie S6

This is a post where I vent my frustrations with The Rookie season 6 and the Chenford breakup. I will take questions, but I do not guarantee an answer. Retain the fact that this is a TV show I am mad at, not someone/thing in your personal life.

This month/few weeks haven't been great for me to absorb what happened in the last episodes of the season. Some of the reasons are listed below before I start sounding off.

-Unrelated but irritating:

Working 3 jobs, only 1 is paid. 

Crunch time at all 3 jobs

Visiting family expecting all of my time (same crunch weeks as work)

-Related and disappointing:

Cancelled cameo

Cancelled convention appearance

Sloppy SM and PR, frequently missing Melissa

Short S6

Late S7 renewal announcement

Delayed start S6 and extra-long hiatus before S7

Specifics:

Okay, so in 606 Tim lied - so did Lucy and Lopez. Why was there no IA investigation for them or concern about their honour? We were led to believe in 214 (Casualties) that everyone involved in an off-book mission could be compromised. So now why is the fact that Tim is lying more important than either woman compromising their career? Why is there no acknowledgement of THEIR discomfort? Lucy was already on shaky ground after he let her take the blame for SOME RANDOM SCENE COPS??!!? at the clown murder before her detective exam, but now I’m supposed to be worried about Sergeant Spotless-Record Bradford and his honour?! He could have just let that Ray guy go, or even fucking TOLD SOMEONE. He'd still have saved the Venezuelan, but it would have been above board.

And then, apparently the breakup happened over the aforementioned lying and Tim and Mark’s coverup of Ray’s misdeeds. We got no further clarification on this. And I really tried. I read deeply, DEEPLY into Tim’s reasoning (there are tumblr posts and twitter threads). I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I earnestly plead with people on twitter to give it time. But instead of that patience paying off, all we got was Tim trying to act normal, Lucy justifiably pissed, and generalised "things" opened up in (blackmail) therapy?

(Here’s where people have been coming at me too: I don’t really care about the therapy storyline. Honestly, if it’s not done well, I don’t know why we bother. I'm not out to get therapy, I just don't think it's working here. Just mention it and carry on like with Lucy after DOD, or show some scenes from the damn sessions. But turning the therapist into a blackmailer for Monica, who was selling to The Swiss?!?? or an Argentinian??? (I don’t even know and I do not care, and I will not listen if you try to explain, lalalalalala) How did we even end up here???)

And it PISSES ME OFF that we spent years building up the momentum for there to be turbulence in their relationship over Lucy going UC. We were ready. We were waiting. The traps were laid and baited. And they just went PSYCH! IT’S TIM’S ARMY DAYS THAT ARE THE PROBLEM, EVEN THOUGH WE LEAD YOU TO BELIEVE HE WAS WELL ADJUSTED BACK IN 214 WITH MITCH AND 311 WITH KATIE BARNES LOLOLOL

We have spent SO MUCH time on Tim's backstory. In fact, here's a list!

Isabel - wife -> ex-wife, UC drug addict, unfaithful

Tom Bradford - abusive father

Army - Let Mitch get his leg blown up; told Katie to let it go with a ladybird; unblemished record;

Cop Buddies - Wrigley -> lazy; Mack -> Addict;

Love Interests - Isabel, Rachel, Ashley

Family - Genny and Tyler (and some other nephew, and apparently a niece and a drunk uncle)

Here is what we know about Lucy:

Mother, Vanessa and father, Patrick, are psychologists and hard on Lucy

Mother had an affair with a patient (also named Patrick) who is Lucy's father, but - boo - he's dead. So is bff Jackson.

Aunt Amy and unseen Nana are nice.

Lucy's other love interests (206 ex, Emmet, Chris, TIMOTHY BRADFORD) have been assholes.

NOW WHOSE FECKIN BACKSTORY DO WE NEED TO SEE MORE OF???

(sorry to those of you who have heard all this from me before, I am literally typing my sporadic thoughts with you guys into longform)

Look, no doubt characters on this show need therapy, but if we’re just gonna make it a vehicle for some random side-characters to have an entire story arc, then WHY? And like, we were misled with the Bailan getting-pregnant storyline too, only to end back up where we started with fostering - because it’s only worth second place if your ovaries are geriatric. LIKE? SO. MANY. PROBLEMATICS.

It’s as if The Rookie plotters were given the outline to the exam questions… then tried to make the answers fit all the WRONG QUESTIONS (I may be speaking from experience). If the cards are laid out one way, don’t struggle to make a different answer fit. Just use what you’ve got, and use it wisely. Especially when it’s been working so well.

And another thing!!! Canon is not fiction - we all know that. We’ve all seen the ones who get carried away with fanon Chenford and ‘Lucy is vegan’-type imaginings that were never actually true. But saying if we don't like canon then we should just write or read fiction to deal with it is only serving to send people deeper into denial. There is a point where you are not crazy, and the writers did something stupid and you start understanding what ‘jumped the shark’ actually means.

Speaking of outdated TV lingo, I saw a really good tweet from Brian_Cronin :

TV showrunners accepting the "truism" that getting "will they/won't they?" characters together hurts the show, always citing Moonlighting, is because they like "rules" that remove their responsibility, as "Don't write the show poorly once they're together" puts the onus on them.

This goes for Chenford. No, Eric Winter. No, Alexi Hawley. We don’t need to see a breakup because it’s more like ‘reality’. Here’s a shocker: we come to watch a COP show, in this age of police brutality, global dictatorships, internationally ignored genocide, timelines full of dead babies and the constant looming threat of utter climate destruction to ESCAPE from reality. We are not watching a COP SHOW - A SHOW ABOUT ONE OF THE MOST VIOLENT, ABUSIVE POLICE FORCES IN THE WESTERN WORLD - for “reality”. Get your fucking head in the game. We supported you through pandemics and strikes, and you pull this season of SHIT on us.

I love all the characters, but I’m hooked for chenford. And I feel really badly treated.

If I was marking your exam, you’d get a failing grade.

“Started off well - linked UC storyline to previously-hinted relationship trauma. Dropped the plot entirely mid-way and brought in a host of unknowns. Tried to blame breakup on army issues previously marked as ‘resolved’, instead of UC drugs and unfaithful wife/abusive father? Reused names multiple times. Confusing and inconsistent. Fatally underused Chen character - inexplicably failing downwards, while Nolan character inexplicably promoted upwards. Use basic research next time."

[my-queer-fantasy]

daydreaming about teasing a new partner by listing out some of the things i wanna do to them under the guise of just surveying for their consent while slowly lowkey acting it out and sitting on their bed face to face

can i pull your hair? while gently tugging their hair from the back. can i grab your neck roughly? with my fingers gently brushing against their throat and down their chest. can i spit in your mouth? while grabbing their chin tentatively, making them open up their mouth for me a little with their tongue peaking out. then slowly pushing them down. can i bite your ears? whispered into their ear, my teeth grazing their ear lobe. may i kiss you here? breathed into their neck or against their chest, my lips almost touching their skin. what about here? as i traveled down, brushing my fingers over their tummy now. what if i go even lower, would you like it if i kissed you here? while running my fingers lower, closer to their parts, maybe even over them. my fingertips barely touching them. would you like it if i spread your thighs wide open for me like this? while sitting up on my knees and coaxing their legs open, my hands grabbing and brushing against the insides of their thighs. if i teased my fingers along your hole? moving my touch over their hole and circling my fingers over their entrance tentatively. do you want to know how it feels when my dick/strap presses inside of you? while suddenly applying more pressure to my touch, pressing in through their clothes. show me, how loudly would you moan for me? a devilish smile at the needy moan that escapes their mouth and the expression on their face. what if i flipped you around and took you from the back? as i grab their hips rougher than before and flip them around and pull their ass up toward me pressing myself against them. would it be okay if i grabbed your neck while i was fucking you and pulled you against me and fucked up into you? narrated into their ear as i press my hand against their throat and gently lift their body to meet mine. my breath against their neck while i hold them in place, my other hand on their hips, and softly grind against their ass. or would you like to be fucked into the mattress until you were screaming out my name? i growl as i let their head fall back to their pillows and straddle their back, my hips over their ass. maybe i'd punctuate some of my words with my hips, and then lean over them as i ask would you like it if i made you cum until you forgot yours? in a sultry, breathy voice against their skin. my body pressed fully against their back and i plant a small kiss to the back of their neck. and lastly–, i start getting up – how do you feel about wearing a maid uniform? i continue nonchalantly as if i haven't been mercilessly teasing them for the past half an hour or more. okay, great! hey...... why do you look so bothered?

and i patiently wait for each answer and watch as they progressively get audibly needier and hornier for me with my each passing question and touch. until they are rock hard or sopping wet for me and desperately trying to hide it from me, but i already knew and relished the effect my words have on them. so i'd just glance down on them confidently and ask them one last question.

do you want me to show you all of that on you in practice next? if you do, promise me you'll moan and be loud and sound really pretty for me, okay?

[fourteentrout]

ACOTAR tag game 💕

thanks for tagging me @mathiwrites ! I don't normally do these even when tagged because i never know who to tag, a lot of times everyone i think of is already tagged LOL, but i figured id start today!

I don't think I've seen one around, and figured this might be fun to do!

Answer the questions below & tag whoever you want, or make it an open tag!!

Who's your favourite ACOTAR character?

My boy tamlin!!

Who's your least favourite character?

Hm....hmmmm...oh Amren for sure.

Say something nice about your least favourite character.

She has a cool character concept and i thought it was really sweet and endearing when she gave feyre the bracelet (necklace?) to help her get through the Prison trip without panicking

Who's your favourite High Lord? (If you picked one for your fav character, then who's your second fav!)

Oooh hm not to be a copycat but I loved tarquin from the moment he was introduced, he was an instant fav and i was kind of sad that he didn't have more involvement later on that didn't have to do with the whole feyre and rhys betraying his trust thing

Favourite MINOR character?

ooh i dont know if this is minor enough but i've come to really like jurian. i didn't really have much of an opinion on him for most of the series and then for some reason in silver flames when he was in it for like 2 seconds i was like wait a minute why haven't i been more into this guy he kinda fucks

Favourite ship? (Crackships included!)

tamsand by far. though azris is becoming a close second.

Favourite court and why?

well i loved the spring court aesthetic from the first book, but at this point in the series I think I'd say maybe actually dawn. it just sounded so pretty, and i think it would be one of the subtler, less overwhelming courts while still being awe-inspiring.

Make up a brand new court RIGHT NOW, NO PREP JUST VIBES.

oh shoot um okay court of clouds?? people who specialize in wind manipulation, likely populated by a race related to the Peregryns or Drakon's race? an actual cloud court like in the sky could be a vibe I think. perhaps it would be more removed from the politics of prythian--they'd still have a High Lord, but maybe it would be more of a military government or something.

What relationship would you have wanted to see more of in the books?

oh wow i mean i am always here for more rhys and tamlin content obviously, but i would have also loved to see more of like stories and stuff about the sentries from the spring court that went over the wall, like Andras. andras and lucien's relationship in particular would be one I would have liked to know more about. I also really want to see Azriel and his mom.

What's your unpopular opinion?

god what ISN'T my unpopular opinion. hm. i think feyre's whole reasoning for wanting a baby out of seemingly nowhere is dumb. like i get it, yolo, life can be cut short, but like i really do not feel like she picked a good time to have a baby, nor do i think she is remotely ready to be a mother. when she realized she wanted kids in acofas, it wasn't a strong enough argument for me to actually like get behind her decision.

What's your favourite headcanon/fan canon?

omg i have so many I literally started a list lol. the first one on it is kind of silly, it's that Helion is actually the faerie romance author sellyn drake that nesta, emerie, and gwyn like

If you were swept away to Prythian, what's ONE thing you would want to do?

go to a festival! not necessarily something as crazy as calanmai, but i would love to go to some sort of celebration. maybe starfall?

If you could have ONE faerie ability seen in the books, which would it be?

shapeshifting without a doubt

thanks again for the tag! ill tag @cheap-spirits @achaotichuman @thedickgraysons @wingsdippedingold @hugevanserrass @lady-of-sevenwaters @the-darkestminds @msbrownwithacrown @tamlinsnailtech and anyone else who wants to contribute!! if were mutuals and i didnt tag u im sorry i tried to think of as many as possible LOL but yeah definitely feel free to contribute if you want to! this was fun