#okay km done

[justmwahstruly]

sigh… i may as well post this…

soooo back in early August *cringes* i was planning smth I gave up on. And i doodled a bunch of ocs so I could have a reference for them which REALLY wasn’t an awful idea but meeahhhh

anyways. take this old beat up thingy

igNORE THE NOTES—

so now i have to tag… (nuh)

Robs trio belongs to @/clownsuu

(Old design of) Silvie and Gloom belong to @/theknifeclown

ROSAAA ahem anyways Rosa belongs to @/foxyd101

Nellie belongs to @/sheriffopossum

Winnie belongs to @/janejellyfish

Beary and Whisky belong to @/kumakooo

Maverick belongs to @/thatthirtsyweirdo

and Basil (i did him less than justice i did him WRONG it looks awful I know) belongs to @/cutepotatook

dies immediately

[skrunksthatwunk]

so the eikichi-centric kuwabara fic is going well

[were-all-pretty]

sometimes the only thing you can do is sleep

and just hope that it goes away

[anglerflsh]

hope i don't come off too intrusively but that all sounds like the qualifications for ocd! or at least anxiety with obsessive compulsive tendencies which would require the same medication, i would go get that checked out!

lovely sentiment but- I'm not going to say for certain I have any kind of Thing going on with my brain without having gotten either a professional (psychiatric) opinion or a professional (peer reviewed by people with that disorder) opinion, and since at the moment I can't go to any doctor about it... it'll stay a mistery + I won't be getting meds any time soon

[weezerlvr228]

why he so mysterious…

demur

[ode-to-joie]

It sucks so much ass being tone sensitive and having a stern ass mother

[lesbianlotties]

uh oh i'm getting this feeling that tells me i might not graduate this year and as soon as that's confirmed you have no idea how much i'm going to cry <3

[kyuala]

sweet by tbz being taken off spotify bc of this universe bullshit i WILL cry myself to sleep thank u very much

[gwyoi]

I feel so sick because of stress and no sleep. When my alarm goes off I will take pictures and post my old keurig, my side table, and a purse onto Facebook marketplace. and then when I get off work I’ll try and see if I have any other clothes that are valuable to sell. And I’ll charge and clear my switch and post that too. I could maybe even just have my bed on the floor and sell mt bed frame. The sad thing is even if this helps me I know something will happen later that will set me back even further. I can’t even afford to live anymore. I feel like I have a good job and I’m learning a lot from the people there but I’m so stressed out about basic needs that I can’t even work. I get sick and can’t recover fast enough because my body is under so much stress. I don’t sleep because I’m stressed. I can’t really take it anymore guys

[violettever]

OMG!!

okay let me tell you guys about my hajime headcanons! (i say ‘you guys’ as if anyone actually sees these posts LMAO)

but anyway, hajime.

after the simulation hajime wasn’t just magically himself. sure, somewhere in there hajime existed, but he couldn’t pull himself to the surface for months. we’re led to believe that hajime and izuru now share a body, right? but after having his emotions removed and his body enhanced he couldn’t force himself to feel for the longest time.

how do i put this.. hm… some people like to think that hajime now suffers from DID or that izuru is just gone but i think they physically share a body. hajime is more in control but izuru still exists in the mind. (izuru is originally more in control but as time progressed hajime gained more authority) so not exactly like DID more like two people in one. two for one sale, that’s a hell of an offer! (sorry bad joke) i feel like his body would be more like a vessel then a person, y’know? anyway when they wake up from the simulation his hair is still long, he’s wearing the suit, all that jazz. the others are pretty terrified at first, hajime isn’t like he was in the neo program at all. he’s silent, barely talks. his eyes are a dark red, his glare is deadly. even the future foundation is hesitant. but he shows no hostility, despite his horde glare he keeps calm. while izuru shows no signs of danger or violence, hajime does. mostly out of fear. i mean how would you feel if you were trapped inside a body, unable to surface, to feel or express anything. it’s difficult for anyone to decipher who is in control for the first few months, they both show no expression. izuru doesn’t feel like it and hajime physically can’t. the only indication they have that hajime is still there is if the body either harms itself or others.

occasionally, hajime would have these freak outs. he’d harm himself in many ways in order to feel something. izuru would put no work into stopping him even though future foundation begged. he said he found no use for it, that the others actions were meaningless. once hajime had walked out to the Hotel Restaurant where they usually meet in the mornings. the others say he looked deadly pale, his eyes opened wide, blankly staring forward. it was frightening. saying nothing, he sat down at the table, motionless. not wanting to interact too much with the man, they served him breakfast while the others chatted mindlessly, hoping to free up the tension in the air. that was until hajime picked up a knife and slammed it straight through into his hand, still staring at nothing, no indication of pain on his face. the others went silent in shock for a few moments before the room erupted in screaming. mikan was still in her pod, they had been relying on izurus nurse abilities but with him out of commission they were lost with what to do.

another time, he had collapsed on the walkway due to starvation. other times due to blood loss. in conclusion, hajime was incredibly unstable.

it took months for him to express properly. he had to completely relearn emotions and feelings. he lacked empathy and proper etiquette. they were worried he would never recover..

eventually that one eye turned green again and it felt like he could finally breathe. he had been watching everything from the back, as if he watching a movie of his own life play on the big screen. but now he was there. he was actually there, it wasn’t just izuru. after that, the outbursts started to slowly stop. he started working with the future foundation directly instead of giving instruction from the sidelines. people started to wake up. first mahiru, then hiyoko, then gundham, and so on..

the ones who were able were sent out to the fight monokumas in towa city. hajime, having a completely reconstructed body was obviously sent out first. actually let’s talk about that!

the izuru kamukura project wasn’t just a simple procedure. this was months of torture. his brain was picked apart and put back together. so we’re his legs, his arms, his feet, his hands.. all were reconstructed to be better then a regular humans abilities. he was stronger, faster, trained in hand to hand combat, his reflexes were enhanced. they tried everything. (a part of me wants to say he had like psychic abilities but i feel like that would be silly. they’re talented, not magical. although that would be super cool) they didn’t care about hajime hinata, they wanted to create something inhuman. a creature able to showcase true hope. their experiments were risky, inhumane. they hadn’t killed his pain tolerance until later in the procedures, he was forced to withstand it all. he desperately hung onto his hope of obtaining a talent, it was the only thing keeping him sane. how they didn’t end up kill him is a miracle. ah, but i suppose in a way they did. hajime was erased. they had gotten rid of any trace of what hajime hinata is, of who he was. it’s not like anyone knew him, and if they did they wouldn’t care. he was a reserve course student after all. many had died or gone missing, all was covered up. he didn’t have a talent, no friends, no job, and his parents were “taken care of” by the school. it was almost like hajime hinata hadn’t existed at all.

ahaha okay, i could rant more but this is getting too long. soo ima stop it here! i love hajimes character sm, i feel like everyone ignores his trauma and story. ESPECIALLY in fanfics omg. like i get it, nagito is fucked up BUT LIKE SO IS HAJIME??? if anything, they’re both fucking insane at this point. like there’s so much to work withhh! omg okay pause i might get hate for this but does anyone know zakikos work?? you probably know him from that limbless hajime meme thing that went around for a while. i hate to say it but his stories are SO FUCKING GOOD. PLUS THE ART STYLE?!! UGHH!!! ITS AMAZING. i don’t even read it for the porn, the ideas and angst this man creates are right up my alley. i’m such a fucking whore for angst istg. I STARTED RANTING AGAIN SHIT. OKAY IM DONE IM SORRY

[bylertruther]

"it's not my fault you don't like girls!" is such a crazy line for so many reasons.

they filmed versions with mike saying "you don't like girls yet" but didn't use it. hm.

"you don't like girls"? so... mike knows, right? and he backs down because bringing it up (even though technically it's not uncalled for since will was the first to make it personal but anyway) clearly hurt will?

"it's not my fault" so mike recognizes that will is unfairly zeroing in on him? that he's upset with mike specifically being the one to get a girlfriend and abandon him, himself, and their party for her?

"it's not my fault" so it's true that he feels suddenly cornered and attacked here, and that's why he puts his foot in his mouth? that he really wasn't trying to be a jerk like many still think?

the general fact that mike obviously is not the reason will's gay, but also he kind of is very much the reason lmao.

the way that he basically says "listen, i know that you're gay and all, but did you seriously think it was going to be you and me, together, us and only us, sitting in what has always been our safe space doing that which has always brought us joy, forever?" and will responds with a very simple "yes. i did. i really did." that kills and breaks the heart of everyone in a 5k mile radius including them. :(

[were-all-pretty]

i carry others emotions more than i carry my own

[smileymoth]

i just got the funniest fucking idea for a drawing fuck my stupid baka life i can never finish a thing can i

[s-ccaam-era-crepe]

the gall of some people- wait what’s a better word for gall I don’t like that one

[maiteo]

Just seen your Diogo Costa linked to Arsenal and city….

me in AVB’s office begging n pleading n crying n throwing up

[lily061208]

i so desperately want to go back to school bc i miss my friends but i cannot for the life of me go back. all the pain, the stress, the anxiety, how it drains me. i cannot go back to school. i have bad insomnia so i don’t sleep until like 6am then wake up at 3pm. i get told sometimes about different things and trips and then i’m like “maybe i can go in” but then i’m like “no bc what if they tell me i have to stay for the whole day or something changes” i cannot deal with change and i am not ok. i will NOT be going back to school.