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toomanystoriessolittletime · 3 years

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Going Back Home

Summary: Claire never thought she would be back in the town she grew up in. But after her fiancé broke off their engagement, leaving her 5 months pregnant and alone she found herself calling Frankie Morales in the middle of the night, one of her childhood friends who insisted that she booked the next flight out. Trying to fix her life with a little help from her friends she would find out soon that going back would be the best decision she ever made.

Pairing: Frankie Morales x Claire Beck

wordcount: 3.1k

Warnings: more or less unplanned pregnancy, break up, mentions of sexual encounters

A/N: I am a weak weak person so here it is, a chaptered fic. I will try to update this weekly, but no promises. Rating will go up later. I'm attempting slow burn. Let's see how slow lol Let me know what you think. Reblogs are, as always, appreciated 💙

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Even Though most of her happiest memories were connected with this town, the town she spent most of her life in, Claire never thought she actually would be back here. And certainly not pregnant and all by herself.

It wasn’t that she had been unhappy here. Claire just always wanted something… bigger. Something more. Something exciting. After her parents died and most of her friends moved away, there was nothing holding her back. Well, that wasn’t true. Frankie and Santiago were there. But only when they weren’t overseas or god knows where, which left her with her dream of being a journalist in a small town where she had no chance to ever make it.

She still remembered Santi’s face when she announced that it was her turn to leave just before they were about to be gone for months again. She had gotten a job in New York and thought for days about what to do until she took the job. That was eight years ago and they hadn’t seen each other in person since then.

Yet when she called Frankie three days ago in tears, it was like no time had passed. She wanted to call Santiago first, but she knew him. If she had told him what happened to her he would have gotten into his car and gotten to her, no matter if it took 3 straight days. No, she had called Frankie. He had listened to her for hours until he made her promise to book the next flight out.

When the fuck did her life become such a shit show?

Only a week ago, she had the dream job, was engaged and 5 months pregnant.

Claire was happy. Until her fiance came back from a work trip and suddenly announced that he wanted nothing to do with the child and moved out within days, leaving her on her own. Not even his phone number was working and she wasn’t gonna show up at his work. She wasn’t that desperate. She should have seen it coming. John never planned to have kids. But when Clarie found out that she was pregnant he had already asked her to marry him and maybe he was too proud to end the engagement back then. Thinking back maybe this was the reason he stayed. Because a part of him wanted to spend his life with her. They didn’t fight. He just moved out, told her that he would take care financially of her and the child, but that he didn’t want to be a father.

The first days she was just numb. Trying to wrap her mind around the fact that the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with, left her while she was pregnant with a child they didn’t plan but that she loved without a doubt. That was what kept her going. Her little bean. Claire would do anything to protect her little girl.

The guys to this day called her bean. She found herself thinking more of them since John left. Even without seeing them in the last years, they still stayed in contact. Not a week went by where she didn’t receive a letter. They had a group chat that was only used when they were at home and the bachelor was on. Cause fuck did they all hate that show but they watched it anyways.

Claire was okay with the whole suddenly being on her own thing, until she felt her baby move for the first time and turned in her bed to wake her fiance, finding the side empty and cold. For one tiny moment, she had forgotten that she was alone in a city where she had only a couple of friends who were his friends rather than hers. She had always had a hard time finding friends. That probably wouldn’t change.

Sucking her bottom lip in, she rested one hand on her belly as she waited for her luggage to arrive. She slept almost through the entire flight. Claire had gotten rid of the last eight years of her life in the last 48 hours. She wanted to start fresh. She needed a fresh start. Even if she had no idea how to deal with all of this on her own.

A woman next to her helped her get her suitcases on the cart, noticing that Claire was on her own. Pushing the cart through security she saw Frankie as soon as the door opened and next to him Ben, Will and Santiago who all smiled at her, while she felt the first tears escaping her eyes.

She had met Ben and Will only a couple times, they were living an hour away, but they became part of the group immediately. Once upon a time her childhood best friend, Leah, was in that group too. Claire hadn’t thought of Leah in a long time. She had died in a car accident almost 12 years ago.

Arms pulled her in a warm embrace and even after years of not seeing each other for such a long time, she still noticed Frankie’s scent.

“We got you,” he whispered, kissing her hair. She sobbed once before she was pulled into Santi’s arms.

“Look at you,” he smiled before he looked down at her belly.

“And look at you?” he smiled and leaned down.

“Hello, this is your favorite Uncle speaking,” he winked, bending down to speak directly to her belly, making her chuckle.

“Oh please, we all know I’m gonna be the favorite, hey bean,” Will hugged her.

“Don’t listen to them baby girl, we know they're all gonna spoil you rotten,” she grinned, letting Ben kiss her cheek.

“So you’re staying?” Frankie asked and you nodded.

“I already called some realtors. I wanna get this over as quickly as possible. Already sold everything back in New York,” Claire said, looking at the two men who formed most of her teenage years.

“Okay. Let’s get you out of this airport first. You okay to stay with Frankie? He has the biggest house,” Santiago asked, pushing the cart as you slowly walked towards the exit with Ben’s arm around her shoulder.

“Uh… I don’t wanna impose. I could just take a room…”

“Fuck no. Stay at my place. It’s my Pa’s old ranch. I’m renovating it.”

“What? No way!” she said surprised but Frankie only nodded.

“Yeah after Liz and South America I needed something to keep me busy. Also needed more space for Elena,” he explained. A small smile sneaked to Claire’s face.

“I still can’t believe you’re a dad Frankie.”

“Can’t believe you gonna be a mom. Fuck we’re really adults now, huh?” he winked and Claire sighed.

“Certainly didn’t plan it that way. Or planned it at all,” she said sadly before she shook her head as if to get rid of the sad thoughts clouding her mind.

“I meant it, Claire. We got you. We are bored most times anyways.”

“Hey speak for yourself, Fish. I got a business,” Santi said.

“Yeah. Yeah. Me too. But after work you’re either drunk or after some pussy so?” Ben grinned, making her chuckle.

“So still no ladies in your life, boys?” Claire asked as they reached what definitely was Frankie’s truck. It had his company name on it. “Morales gardening”

“Nope. But now that you’re here we could finally….” Will started only for Claire to look away in disgust, making them all laugh.

“You ready to become a Daddy, Will?” she asked, her hands both on her belly.

“Uhm… of course?” he answered and she chuckled.

“That’s what I thought,” she patted his cheek.

“Come on. Let’s get you to bed. You must be exhausted,” Frankie said and opened the door for her.

“We’ll see you tomorrow for the BBQ,” they all waved. She waved back, letting Frankie help her inside before he closed the door behind her and hopped into the driver’s seat.

“BBQ?” she asked.

“Can’t blame the folks from wanting to welcome you, bean,” he winked.

“What folks?”

“Ya know. Folks. You gonna see,” he looked at Claire. He felt better now that she was here. Frankie had missed her these last years, the couple of calls throughout hadn’t nearly been enough. And when she called two days ago in tears… He would have gotten the chopper and flown over but he couldn’t risk it. He had to be on good behaviour to be able to keep seeing his daughter.

“I missed you, Francisco,” she whispered.

“Missed you too, Bean.”

The sun was already setting when Frankie drove down a familiar path. Claire had spent countless days on this ranch when she was younger.

“How is your Dad doing?” she asked softly and Frankie sighed as he killed the engine in front of the house.

“I fucking hate that I can’t take care of him on my own, but he’s hanging in there.”

“I’d like to visit him if you’re okay with that,” she reached over squeezing his hand and he looked at her with a small smile.

“I bet he would love that.”

“And I’m sure he would have wanted it this way, Francisco. You know your dad. He wouldn’t have wanted you to drop everything for him. Don’t be too hard on yourself,” she said quietly.

“Damn I really missed you Bean,” he shook his head.

“Missed you too,” she let her head fall against his shoulder.

Claire didn’t really have eyes for the house, all she wanted was to go to sleep.

“I finished the guest room this morning for you,” Frankie said, setting one of her suitcases down as he opened the door.

“Please tell me you didn’t work overnight to finish this,” she sighed looking at him. He was rubbing the back of his head, pulling the cap he was always wearing down and avoiding her eyes.

Knowingly she shook her head, but couldn’t help the smile sneaking to her face.

“I won’t say it. But please don’t touch the walls, they might still be wet,” he said and she chuckled.

“Okay. Bathroom is over there. The shower isn’t working yet but you’re welcome to use mine. Will is coming over to take a look and make this one work. Other than that if you need anything just ask. Until you found a place this is your home.”

“You really didn’t have to do this, Frankie,” she said quietly, feeling overwhelmed by all of this. So many things had changed in such a short amount of time for her and she only now seemed to realize that she was indeed about to be a single mom.

“I wanted to. You’re… You don’t deserve to be treated like this. So let us help you, okay?” he said softly and she nodded but avoided his eyes.

“Okay. Go to sleep. My room is down the hallway if you need anything,” he stepped closer, kissing her forehead and for one tiny moment, she felt like the 15 year old teenager again who was crushing on Frankie Morales.

“Good night, Francisco,” she smiled.

“Good night, bean,” he whispered before he turned around and closed the door behind him.

Claire looked around, in awe of the room, the bed looking so inviting to her. Sighing she walked over to the window, knowing she would be able to see the whole property during the day. Crossing her arms in front of her she closed her eyes, listening to the sounds of nature that she had no idea she had missed living in the city for all these years. She felt a fluttering in her belly, her hand wandering down to feel a kick.

“We’ll be happy here, I promise,” she vowed, rubbing over her belly.

She didn’t want to disturb Frankie, even though she could hear the TV running so she just washed herself at the sink before she put her Pajamas on and sat down on the bed. She would unpack tomorrow. For now she had to sleep.

The sun wasn’t even up when Claire woke up. She turned in bed, propping herself up so she could look out the window and watch the sunrise. She had to make a plan. A plan that included finding a house, a doctor and help. Though help would be her smallest problem. She already looked at houses in the area and it didn’t look good. If she had more time she would buy the house just down this road, but there was no way the house would be ready before her due date. She would ask Santi for help. He had a lot of connections through his business. Though Frankie too. Claire knew that he had a little gardening company since he lost his pilot’s license. He never really talked about it, but then again, they didn’t talk that much. She knew that he had some problems with drugs in the past, but that he has been clean for almost two years and was doing better. She also knew that there was a lot more to this story then he had told her. Maybe they would have time to talk. To really talk. Groaning to herself, her quiet and peaceful morning was interrupted by her bladder. Time to start the day.

For a minute she wondered if she could risk sneaking into Frankie’s room to take a shower when she heard music playing. Grabbing her bathrobe and toiletries she opened the door and walked down. Now being really awake she had time to take in the house. It seemed like there still was a lot to do. The walls were still unpainted, the floors still old, though she could see he already started with the floor the closer she got to the kitchen.

Frankie was sitting at the kitchen island, a cup of coffee in front of him as the radio quietly played in the background. He had a serious case of bed hair and she smiled to herself. He hadn’t noticed her yet and she found herself thinking back to all the times she had thought that maybe there was something more in between them than friendship. And maybe there was at one point a long time ago. But that was before he joined the military. She might be selfish for it, but she couldn’t be in a relationship where her partner was gone all the time. She needed someone to be there. Even Though there had been times in the past she had found herself asking if maybe she should have risked it.

Instead she had slept with Santiago.

Yeah, that was a big fuck up. Well it was also a pretty good fuck but it was just once and they definitely were better off as friends. She still didn’t know if Frankie knew. Not that she had to explain herself. Frankie always knew what effect he had on the women around him, and he sure as hell took advantage of it. And now she felt nothing more than love for him. As a friend, nothing more.

“Good Morning,” she said quietly and Frankie turned his head, yawning at her.

Chuckling she walked over taking in the kitchen, setting her toiletries down.

“You weren’t kidding when you say you were still renovating,” she sat down next to him. He got up from his seat walking over to fix her a mug of tea.

“Still hooked on Strawberry tea, I hope?” he asked and she nodded, surprised that he remembered.

“Yeah. Though the kitchen and living room are supposed to be finished by the end of next week. So sorry for the noise in the next couple days,” he walked over and set down the mug of tea in front of her.

“Hey it’s your house. I’m just thankful you let me stay.”

“Of course. Couldn’t let you stay in the dumpster motel in this town,” he winked. She took a sip of the tea and it was perfect.

“So what are you planning for today?” he asked.

“I probably should start looking into houses. I’m kind of on a timetable here,” she rested one hand on her belly and Frankie followed her movement.

“Yeah. I think Pope already called someone for some houses. It’s not looking good.”

“Yeah I thought so. Everything I found on the internet was in really bad shape,” she sighed.

“It’s gonna work out. And if you don’t find something, you’re welcome to stay. The place is big enough,” he shrugged and Claire laughed quietly.

“Yeah I bet you can’t wait to live with a hormonal pregnant woman and then with a newborn,” she joked.

“I lived with Pope. Nothing can be worse and…”

“And?” she asked.

“I already lived with a hormonal pregnant woman. It’s not that bad,” he shrugged with a small smile. She looked at him with a small smile on her face.

“You say that now. Wait till I’m craving your mug cake at 3am now that I’m living with you,” she joked. Frankie laughed.

“Wow I haven’t had one of those in at least 10 years.”

“Well then it’s about time.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, looking at Claire. She looked more relaxed today, like she had a good night’s sleep and he was thankful he put in an overnight to finish the guest room for her. She deserved to relax. When she told him that she not only was pregnant but dumped by her fiance Frankie was furious, yet at the same time he already decided that he would take care of her and help her with everything she needed. It was the least he could do.

Even though they grew apart in the last years, she still was one of his best friends.

“Okay. I’m gonna go take a shower. I got to drive out to check on a project. You gonna be okay here for a while?” Frankie asked. Claire nodded, grabbing her mug of tea.

“Just tell me when you’re going out so I can take a shower,” she said.

“Thank you, Frankie,” she whispered when she stopped next to him and softly kissed his cheek, before she walked down the hallway. Frankie looked after her with a soft smile before he got up to get ready to head out.

Next chapter

#my writing #going back home #frankie morales #francisco morales #frankie morales x ofc #pedro pascal #fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction #fan fic #frankie morales fanfiction

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chrisevansluv · 3 years

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Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

The 30-year-old Bud Light-chugging, Beantown-bred star of The Avengers is widely perceived as the ultimate guy's guy. But beneath the bro persona lies a serious student of Buddhism, an unrepentant song-and-dance man, and a guy who talks to his mom about sex. And farts.

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

We're at Evans' apartment, an expansive but not overly tricked-out bachelor-pad-ish loft in a semi-industrial nowheresville part of Boston, hard by Chinatown, near an area sometimes called the Combat Zone. Evans has a fuzzy, floppy, slept-in-his-clothes aspect that'd be nearly unrecognizable if you knew him only by the upright, spit-polished bearing of the onscreen hero. His dog, East, a sweet and slobbery American bulldog, is spread out on a couch in front of the TV. The shelves of his fridge are neatly stacked with much of the world's supply of Bud Light in cans and little else.

On the counter sit a few buckets of muscle-making whey-protein powder that belong to Evans' roommate, Zach Jarvis, an old pal who sometimes tags along on set as a paid "assistant" and a personal trainer who bulked Evans up for his role as the super-ripped patriot in last summer's blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger. A giant clock on the exposed-brick wall says it's early evening, but Evans operates on his own sense of time. Between gigs, his schedule's all his, which usually translates into long stretches of alone time during the day and longer social nights for the 30-year-old.

"I could just make this . . . disappear," says Josh Peck, another old pal and occasional on-set assistant, in a deadpan mumble, poking at the voice recorder I'd left on the table while I was in the bathroom.

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

But not saying things isn't in the Evans DNA. They're an infectiously gregarious clan. Irish-Italians, proud Bostoners, close-knit, and innately theatrical. "We all act, we sing," Evans says. "It was like the fucking von Trapps." Mom was a dancer and now runs a children's theater. First-born Carly directed the family puppet shows and studied theater at NYU. Younger brother Scott has parts on One Life to Live and Law & Order under his belt and lives in Los Angeles full-time—something Evans stopped doing several years back. Rounding out the circle are baby sister Shanna and a pair of "strays" the family brought into their Sudbury, Massachusetts, home: Josh, who went from mowing the lawn to moving in when his folks relocated during his senior year in high school; and Demery, who was Evans' roommate until recently.

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Growing up, they had a special floor put in the basement where all the kids practiced tap-dancing. The party-ready rec room also had a Ping-Pong table and a separate entrance. This was the house kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang at, and this was the kind of family you wanted to be adopted by. Spend an afternoon listening to them dish old dirt and talk over each other and it's easy to see why. Now they're worried they've said too much, laid bare the tender soul of the actor behind the star-spangled superhero outfit, so there's talk of offing the interviewer. I can hear all this from the bathroom, which, of course, is the point of a good stage whisper.

To be sure, no one's said too much, and the more you're brought into the embrace of this boisterous, funny, shit-slinging, demonstrably loving extended family, the more likable and enviable the whole dynamic is.

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

We're operating under a no-names rule, so I'm not asking if it's Jessica Biel who made this memorable first impression. She and Evans were serious for a couple of years. But I don't want to picture lovely Jessica Biel getting sick at Auntie Pam's or in the car or, really, anywhere.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

"That dog is the love of his life," Mrs. Evans says. "Which tells me he'll be an unbelievable parent, but I don't want him to get married right now." She turns to Chris. "The way you are, I just don't think you're ready."

Some other things I learn about Evans from his mom: He hates going to the gym; he was so wound-up as a kid she'd let him stand during dinner, his legs shaking like caged greyhounds; he suffered weekly "Sunday-night meltdowns" over schoolwork and the angst of the sensitive middle-schooler; after she and his father split and he was making money from acting, he bought her the Sudbury family homestead rather than let her leave it.

Eventually his mom and Josh depart, and Evans and I go to work depleting his stash of Bud Light. It feels like we drink Bud Light and talk for days, because we basically do. I arrived early Friday evening; it's Saturday night now and it'll be sunup Sunday before I sleeplessly make my way to catch a train back to New York City. Somewhere in between we slip free of the gravitational pull of the bachelor pad and there's bottle service at a club and a long walk with entourage in tow back to Evans' apartment, where there is some earnest-yet-surreal group singing, piano playing, and chitchat. Evans is fun to talk to, partly because he's an open, self-mocking guy with an explosive laugh and no apparent need to sleep, and partly because when you cut just below the surface, it's clear he's not quite the dude's dude he sometimes plays onscreen and in TV appearances.

From a distance, Chris Evans the movie star seems a predictable, nearly inevitable piece of successful Hollywood packaging come to market. There's his major-release debut as the dorkily unaware jock Jake in the guilty pleasure Not Another Teen Movie (in one memorable scene, Evans has whipped cream on his chest and a banana up his ass). The female-friendly hunk appeal—his character in The Nanny Diaries is named simply Harvard Hottie—is balanced by a kind of casual-Friday, I'm-from-Boston regular-dudeness. Following the siren song of comic-book cash, he was the Human Torch in two Fantastic Four films. As with scrawny Steve Rogers, the Captain America suit beefed up his stature as a formidable screen presence, a bankable leading man, all of which leads us to The Avengers, this season's megabudget, megawatt ensemble in which he stars alongside Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., and Chris Hemsworth.

It all feels inevitable—and yet it nearly didn't happen. Evans repeatedly turned down the Captain America role, fearing he'd be locked into what was originally a nine-picture deal. He was shooting Puncture, about a drug-addicted lawyer, at the time. Most actors doing small-budget legal dramas would jump at the chance to play the lead in a Marvel franchise, but Evans saw a decade of his life flash before his eyes.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

By "the woods," he doesn't mean a quiet life away from the spotlight, some general metaphorical life escape route. He means the actual woods. "For a long time all I wanted for Christmas were books about outdoor survival," he says. "I was convinced that I was going to move to the woods. I camped a lot, I took classes. At 18, I told myself if I don't live in the woods by the time I'm 25, I have failed."

Evans has described his hesitation at signing on for Captain America. Usually he talks about the time commitment, the loss of what remained of his relative anonymity. On the junkets for the movie, he was open about needing therapy after the studio reduced the deal to six movies and he took the leap. What he doesn't usually mention is that he was racked with anxiety before the job came up.

"I get very nervous," Evans explains. "I shit the bed if I have to present something on stage or if I'm doing press. Because it's just you." He's been known to walk out of press conferences, to freeze up and go silent during the kind of relaxed-yet-high-stakes meetings an actor of his stature is expected to attend: "Do you know how badly I audition? Fifty percent of the time I have to walk out of the room. I'm naturally very pale, so I turn red and sweat. And I have to literally walk out. Sometimes mid-audition. You start having these conversations in your brain. 'Chris, don't do this. Chris, take it easy. You're just sitting in a room with a person saying some words, this isn't life. And you're letting this affect you? Shame on you.'"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

Okay, there was one on-set panic attack—while Evans was shooting Puncture. "We were getting ready to do a court scene in front of a bunch of people, and I don't know what happened," he says. "It's just your brain playing games with you. 'Hey, you know how we sometimes freak out? What if we did it right now?'"

One of the people who advised Evans to take the Captain America role was his eventual Avengers costar Robert Downey Jr. "I'd seen him around," Downey says. "We share an agent. I like to spend a lot of my free time talking to my agent about his other clients—I just had a feeling about him."

What he told Evans was: This puppy is going to be big, and when it is you're going to get to make the movies you want to make. "In the marathon obstacle course of a career," Downey says, "it's just good to have all the stats on paper for why you're not only a team player but also why it makes sense to support you in the projects you want to do—because you've made so much damned money for the studio."

There's also the fact that Evans had a chance to sign on for something likely to be a kind of watershed moment in the comic-book fascination of our time. "I do think The Avengers is the crescendo of this superhero phase in entertainment—except of course for Iron Man 3," Downey says. "It'll take a lot of innovation to keep it alive after this."

Captain America is the only person left who was truly close to Howard Stark, father of Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man), which meant that Evans' and Downey's story lines are closely linked, and in the course of doing a lot of scenes together, they got to be pals. Downey diagnoses his friend with what he terms "low-grade red-carpet anxiety disorder."

"He just hates the game-show aspect of doing PR," Downey says. "Obviously there's pressure for anyone in this transition he's in. But he will easily triple that pressure to make sure he's not being lazy. That's why I respect the guy. I wouldn't necessarily want to be in his skin. But his motives are pure. He just needs to drink some red-carpet chamomile."

"The majority of the world is empty space," Chris Evans says, watching me as if my brain might explode on hearing this news—or like he might have to fight me if I try to contradict him. We're back at his apartment after a cigarette run through the Combat Zone.

"Empty space!" he says again, slapping the table and sort of yelling. Then, in a slow, breathy whisper, he repeats: "Empty space, empty space. All that we see in the world, the life, the animals, plants, people, it's all empty space. That's amazing!" He slaps the table again. "You want another beer? Gotta be Bud Light. Get dirty—you're in Boston. Okay, organize your thoughts. I gotta take a piss . . ."

My thoughts are this: That this guy who is hugging his dog and talking to me about space and mortality and the trouble with Boston girls who believe crazy gossip about him—this is not the guy I expected to meet. I figured he'd be a meatball. Though, truthfully, I'd never called anyone a meatball until Evans turned me on to the put-down. As in: "My sister Shanna dates meatballs." And, more to the point: "When I do interviews, I'd rather just be the beer-drinking dude from Boston and not get into the complex shit, because I don't want every meatball saying, 'So hey, whaddyathink about Buddhism?'"

At 17, Evans came across a copy of Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha and began his spiritual questing. It's a path of study and struggle that, he says, defines his true purpose in life. "I love acting. It's my playground, it lets me explore. But my happiness in this world, my level of peace, is never going to be dictated by acting," he says. "My goal in life is to detach from the egoic mind. Do you know anything about Eastern philosophy?"

I sip some Bud Light and shake my head sheepishly. "They talk about the egoic mind, the part of you that's self-aware, the watcher, the person you think is driving this machine," he says. "And that separation from self and mind is the root of suffering. There are ways of retraining the way you think. This isn't really supported in Western society, which is focused on 'Go get it, earn it, win it, marry it.'"

Scarlett Johansson says that one of the things she appreciates about Evans is how he steers clear of industry chat when they see each other. "Basically every actor," she says, "including myself, when we finish a job we're like, 'Well, that's it for me. Had a good run. Put me out to pasture.' But Chris doesn't strike me as someone who frets about the next job." The two met on the set of The Perfect Score when they were teenagers and have stayed close; The Avengers is their third movie together. "He has this obviously masculine presence—a dude's dude—and we're used to seeing him play heroic characters," Johansson says, "but he's also surprisingly sensitive. He has close female friends, and you can talk to him about anything. Plus there's that secret song-and-dance, jazz-hands side of Chris. I feel like he grew up with the Partridge Family. He'd be just as happy doing Guys and Dolls as he would Captain America 2."

East needs to do his business, so Evans and I take him up to the roof deck. Evans bought this apartment in 2010 when living in L.A. full-time no longer appealed to him. He came back to stay close to his extended family and the intimate circle of Boston pals he's maintained since high school. The move also seems like a pretty clear keep-it-real hedge against the manic ego-stroking distractions of Hollywood.

"I think my daytime person is different than my nighttime person," Evans says. "With my high-school buddies, we drink beer and talk sports and it's great. The kids in my Buddhism class in L.A., they're wildly intelligent, and I love being around them, but they're not talking about the Celtics. And that's part of me. It's a strange dichotomy. I don't mind being a certain way with some people and having this other piece of me that's just for me."

I asked Downey about Evans' outward regular-Joe persona. "It's complete horseshit," Downey says. "There's an inherent street-smart intelligence there. I don't think he tries to hide it. But he's much more evolved and much more culturally aware than he lets on."

Perhaps the meatball and the meditation can coexist. We argue about our egoic brains and the tao of Boston girls. "I love wet hair and sweatpants," he says in their defense. "I like sneakers and ponytails. I like girls who aren't so la-di-da. L.A. is so la-di-da. I like Boston girls who shit on me. Not literally. Girls who give me a hard time, bust my chops a little."

The chief buster of Evans' chops is, of course, Evans himself. "The problem is, the brain I'm using to dissect this world is a brain formed by it," he says. "We're born into confusion, and we get the blessing of letting go of it." Then he adds: "I think this shit by day. And then night comes and it's like, 'Fuck it, let's drink.'"

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

We talk about his dog and camping with his dog and why he loves being alone more than almost anything except maybe not being alone. "I swear to God, if you saw me when I am by myself in the woods, I'm a lunatic," he says. "I sing, I dance. I do crazy shit."

Evans' unflagging, all-encompassing enthusiasm is impressive, itself a kind of social intelligence. "If you want to have a good conversation with him, don't talk about the fact that he's famous" was the advice I got from Mark Kassen, who codirected Puncture. "He's a blast, a guy who can hang. For quite a long time. Many hours in a row."

I've stopped looking at the clock. We've stopped talking philosophy and moved into more emotional territory. He asks questions about my 9-month-old son, and then Captain America gets teary when I talk about the wonder of his birth. "I weep at everything," he says. "I emote. I love things so much—I just never want to dilute that."

He talks about how close he feels to his family, how open they all are with each other. About everything. All the time. "The first time I had sex," he says, "I raced home and was like, 'Mom, I just had sex! Where's the clit?'"

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

If someone doesn't want to check the link, the anon sent the full interview!

#chris evans #cevans #Details Magazine #2012 #interview

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ayu-shiridara · 3 years

Text

Fall pt. 6

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

Tag/s: @lilypad-55449

Sorry took me so long to update

You stayed in America for years. Draco visits you and the children once a month giving you updates about George. Your son and daughter are already 5 years old. And you planned going back to England. Maybe it's time to meet their grandparents and their father. You're certain that Molly and Arthur would be delighted if they meet your children.

"Levi, Fred, time to leave, Draco is waiting for you outside, " you said.

You named them after Fred and Levi. Your son's name was Frederick Fabian Weasley Frederick from Fred's name Fabian from George's second name. He looked like his father except for his eyes. He has your eyes. While your daughter's name was Levi Georgia Weasley, Levi from Levi Georgia from George again. Your daughter was like George's girl version. Both of them really looked like a Weasley.

"Are you ready to go to England?" You asked your children.

"Are we going to meet dad?" Fred asked.

"Mama I want to see what dad looks like, " Levi said.

The twins love asking about their dad. But all you can say is they will meet him soon. Finally, you arrive in England. You will stay at Levi's home. The kids are playing in the forest while you and Draco are watching them.

"Are you sure about introducing them?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, they have the rights to meet their grandchildren, the kids have the rights to meet their father, " you said.

"You're ready to see George again?" Draco asked.

"No, but I'm certain that tomorrow is the right time to meet Molly and Arthur, " you sighed.

"Mrs Weasley's birthday?" Draco said.

"Yeah the kids will be a perfect present for them, but I will go to Diagon alley to buy something, " you said.

"I can't come with you to the Burrow but I can come with you to the Diagon Alley, " Draco said and smiled at you.

"Daddy Draco look what I found, " Levi said running towards you and Draco.

She's holding a puffskein and Fred is running behind her. They called Draco Daddy because that's what Draco wanted the kids to address him. You find it cute but kinda sad because it's not George whom they call Daddy. Of course, you still love him he always owned your heart. Because he's the first person who made you feel special.

The following day you arrive at the Diagon Alley. The streets are busy and crowded.

"Stay close to mama okay?" You whispered to your children.

"I will stay close to daddy Draco, " Levi said.

You let out a soft laugh and started to stroll around. However, the kids let go of you and Draco's hand and ran away.

"I will look for them, meet us at the Leaky Cauldron," Draco said and run after them.

Today is just an ordinary day for George. The difference is that it's his mother's birthday. He will go to the Burrow tonight and come back tomorrow morning. He was walking to the Leaky Cauldron to have his breakfast. Suddenly something hit his legs. He saw a little girl on the road wailing. A red-haired girl with freckles on his face. 'She looked like a Weasley' George thought. Then a boy was running after her, red-haired and freckled face but when he looked at the child's eyes it reminded him of (Y/N). He knelt down and helped the kid to stand up.

"Are you okay?" George asked the kid softly.

The kid didn't say a word and his twin brother run to her. The girl has wounds on her leg. George pointed his wand on the girl's wound.

"Episkey, " George said and the wound healed.

The children looked amazed.

"Can you teach me how to do that?" The boy said to George.

George let out a soft laugh. It's the first time he laughs again after (Y/N) left.

"I can but first tell me your name, " George said.

"I'm Fred, " the boy said.

"My name is Levi, " the girl said shyly.

George was shocked by hearing the name of his dead brother and friend. This is just a coincidence or maybe not.

"Fred, Levi!" Someone called.

"Daddy Draco, " the children said happily.

George stared at Draco, the children run at him.

"Mama is looking for you why did you run away like that, " Draco said.

George stood up and just stared at the kids who were asking Draco to carry them. George sighed and carried Fred.

"I'll help you I'm heading to the Leaky Cauldron what about you?" George asked.

"The Leaky Cauldron, thanks Weasley, " Draco said.

Fred was staring at George the whole time. And George felt like he is carrying his own son.

"Your children?" George asked.

"No, I'm just their godfather, a friend's children, " Draco explained.

"What's your name mister?" Fred asked.

"I'm George Fabian Weasley, " George replied.

"Really? We have the same surname Mr George, " Fred said.

"What's your name then?" George asked.

"My name is Fred Weasley, my twin sister is Levi Weasley, " Fred said.

"You're a Weasley?" George asked.

"We are, but we haven't met our dada yet, mama said we will meet him soon, " Fred said.

George became more confused. How come there's an unknown Weasley? He's sure that he doesn't have a niece or nephew that was named after his twin brother and friend. And he doesn't hear anything about (Y/N) for years. 'I must consult mum about this' George thought.

After looking for presents you stopped by the ice cream shop to treat your children and Draco. On your way out someone called your name.

"(Y/N)?" Someone called.

You turned to see who it is. It's Ron with Hermione, Harry and Ginny.

"Hi, " that's the word that escaped from your mouth.

"When did you arrive?" Hermione asked.

"Yesterday, " you replied.

"It's nice to see you again, " Harry said.

"You too, " You smiled at them.

"(Y/N) we're sorry about George, " Ron said.

"I already moved on, " you said.

"No, it's a misunderstanding, " Ginny said.

"I'm okay now, I'm living my life it doesn't bother me anymore, " you said.

"Can you please talk to him? He didn't know that you're here right?" Ron said.

"I will when I'm ready, I have to go the children are waiting for me, " you said.

"Children?" Ginny asked.

"You have kids? You're married to another man?" Harry asked.

"No, I'm not married to another man, I'll explain soon I really have to go, " you said.

"We'll see you around, " Hermione said and waved at you.

You exited the ice cream shop and went straight to the Leaky Cauldron.

"What took you so long?" Draco asked.

"Nothing, here I bought this for you, " You said and handed them the ice cream.

"Mama we've met an amazing man, " Levi said.

"Really who is he?" You asked.

"He just left, " Draco said.

"Mama we want to meet Mr George again, " Fred said.

You're shocked hearing his name from your children. Did they really encounter their father?

"We have to leave now, we're heading to grandma and grandpa, " you said.

The children cheered and all of you excited the Leaky Cauldron.

"(Y/N) I have to go now, I'll see you later, " Draco said.

You nodded and the kids wave goodbye at Draco. Finally, you arrive at the Burrow. No one was outside. You're anxious because for the last 5 years it's your first time showing yourself to Molly again. She might be angry at you she might unwelcome you.

"(Y/N)!" Someone called at the back.

"Charlie?" You asked.

"It's nice seeing you again!" He said.

He hugged you and you did the same.

"We haven't seen you for ages, how have you been?" Charlie asked.

"Everything is well, " you said.

"And who might these children be?" Charlie asked and knelt down.

"Are you my grandpa?" Fred asked enthusiastically.

"Do I look like a grandpa to you?" Charlie asked and laugh.

"He's not your grandpa, he's your uncle, " you said.

"Grandpa is inside the house, " Charlie said.

"I want to meet grandpa and grandma and uncles and aunties, " Levi said.

"And Dada, " Fred finished her sentence.

"Well come on let's go and meet grandma and grandpa and uncles and aunties, " Charlie said.

The children take Charlie's hand and all of you walked inside the Burrow.

"(Y/N)!" Molly exclaimed.

You're expecting her to be mad but she just hugged you. And Arthur did the same.

"Happy birthday Mrs Weasley, " you said.

"Happy birthday Grandma, " you twins said and handed her the present.

"Are they?" Arthur said.

You nodded with a smile.

"Mama, are they grandma," Levi asked.

"And grandpa?" Fred asked finishing Levi's question.

"Yes darling, " you said with a smile.

"Levi and I are so excited to meet, " Fred said.

"Grandma, Grandpa, Uncles, Aunties and Dada, " Levi said finishing Fred's sentence.

"They are like Fred and George when they were younger, " Charlie said.

"Come to grandma and grandpa, " Molly said opening her arms.

The kids run to Molly and Arthur and gave them a hug.

"What should grandpa call you?" Arthur asked Fred.

"My name is Fred, Mama said she named me after a wise and brave uncle, " Fred said proudly.

"I memorized my whole name for grandma and grandpa, I'm Levi Georgia Weasley, " Levi said proudly.

The kids are so delighted being with George's family. But it's already nightfall and you have to go.

"We have to go we will come back tomorrow, " you said.

"Can't you stay for dinner? Ron, Ginny, George and Bill are coming, " Molly said.

"I'm sorry Mrs Weasley, I'm afraid that the situation might be awkward for me and George, " you said.

"Don't be sorry dear, we understand and stop calling me Mrs Weasley you're still my favourite daughter-in-law, " Molly said.

"Before you go, uncle Charlie has a gift for Freddie and Levi, " Charlie said giving them a dragon stuff toy.

You thanked them before you leave and when you walk outside the house you can see that Draco is waiting at the nearest tree.

"When did you arrive?" You asked.

"Just now, " he replied.

"Well then let's go home, " you said.

It's finally evening and the Burrow was busy. One by one the Weasleys arrive having their gift for their mother. In the middle of the dinner, George asked his mother about the kids he met this morning.

"Mum I meet two kids this morning. They said they're a Weasley and they look like one. You have only one grandchild, right?" George asked.

"Where did you meet them?" Ron asked.

"At the Diagon Alley, they're with Malfoy, " George said.

"We met (Y/N) at the ice cream shop, " Ginny said.

"She just left, " Charlie said.

"She went here?" George asked.

"Yea and I have seen her adorable ki-" before Charlie could finish her sentence, Molly kicked his leg making him wince in pain.

"Are hiding something from me?" George asked.

"Best if you directly ask her, " Arthur said.

"That's enough, let's not ruin mum's day, " Bill said.

George sighed and after dinner, he walked to his room. It's the million time he wished that Fred was still here. Because he knew that he would feel much better if he's twin is here because he's the only one who understands him the most. Every second without his brother or his wife is a torture to him. Suffering in this kind of sadness for years. No one knows how many time he cried silently. Every night, every time when he's alone. All he wanted is to be happy.

Today you're going to Diagon Alley to buy something. Your children are not coming with you, Draco is taking care of them. You're walking towards somewhere you don't know where your feet is dragging you because you're looking at the parchment on you're holding. After a few steps, your head hit something making you look where you're going.

"I'm sorry, " you apologised.

A familiar man was standing in front of you. He was tall and you can smell the scent you've been longing for.

"It's okay miss, " he said.

But he looked at you his eyes widened as well as yours.

"George!?" You said.

"(Y/N)?" He said.

He's happy seeing you again. You too but you still can't forget what he did years ago.

"Ron was right, you're here, " George said.

"Yea. I arrive before Mrs Weasley's birthday, " you said.

"(Y/N) about what happened years ago, I'm sorry if I could just turn back the time, " he said.

"It's okay I moved on from you anyway, " you lied.

'Does that mean you don't love me anymore, ' George thought. His heart again shattered into pieces.

"I have to go, " you said and walked away.

When you arrive at your home Draco said that Ron is here to talk to you.

"Ron, what brings you here?" You asked.

"I just want to tell you that night was a misunderstanding he was under a love potion, it's not his fault it's Angelina's, please give him another chance, I can't stand seeing George like that anymore, he's been suffering for years, please (Y/N), " Ron said.

You keep thinking about George. You can't even focus on your children. You don't even know what Draco is talking about while having dinner.

"(Y/N) are you listening to me?" Draco asked.

"Mama is not listening to Daddy Draco, " Fred said while playing with his food.

"I'm sorry what did you said?" You asked.

"Nothing, I'll take the kids to bed, " Draco said.

Draco and the kids went to bed and you cleaned the dining table. After cleaning the dining table you sat on the couch in front of the fireplace and read a book.

"(Y/N), " someone called.

You look around to see who's calling you and you saw Fred and Levi.

"Freddie, Levi?" You said.

Both of them are smiling at you.

"He loves you so much, " Levi said.

"Talk to him before it's too late," Fred said.

"Too late what do you mean?" You asked.

But they disappeared.

"(Y/N) wake up, " Draco said shaking you.

You fell asleep while reading a book.

"Where's Levi and Fred?" You asked.

"They're asleep, " Draco replied.

"No, not the kids, George's twin and your cousin, " You said.

"They're dead, " Draco said.

"But they just talked to me, " You replied.

"You're tired you should go to bed, " Draco said.

You immediately stand up ran outside.

The following days your dream kept bothering you.

"Maybe you should have him back, for you, for the children, I know you still love him, you still need him, you haven't moved on you just keep on telling yourself that you did but the truth is you haven't, " Draco said.

#george wealsey x reader #george wealsey imagine #george weasley #george x reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy

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bethhxrmon · 4 years

Text

do flowers exist at night? -chapter seven

Chapter Seven: Hands Clean

Pairing: Steve Harrington x OC

Chapter Summary: After the initial shock of the events surrounding Halloween and the days after, Steve and Annie both start to realize they may be wrong about how to cope. Their friendship also manages to strengthen in the process

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of trauma, might be filler but I call it the beginnings of pining soooo

A/N: Hope you guys really liked this chapter because I thought it was a decent break from all that angst I lumped on pretty early into the fic. It would be fantastic if you guys could let me know your thoughts, I live for it! Anyways, you can find all the other chapters here!

~*~*~*~

Admittedly, Steve could have handled himself alone in the house long enough for Annie to go to school. However, when she pretended to be both her mom and his, he didn't stop her. Not until he was okay enough to drive.

How school would work was a question both of them asked. Steve's bruises were faded enough for Annie to try and cover them up with makeup. That was what she used almost too much of on the cut on her cheek. Sure, she could hide it with her hair, she already did that, but it wasn't enough for her. Nothing was really enough.

Being near Steve wasn't enough to stop her from reliving everything in her head. Besides, she eventually had to go back to her own house. It was safe and she was sure that Steve could use some alone time. Though, she couldn't stand the quiet of her house.

None of that stopped Steve from picking her up on a chilly Wednesday in November. Frost crunched under her boots instead of leaves. It was clear that nothing was going to stop time from passing. She wished it would pause just so she could catch up, but she wasn't sure that would be enough either.

Going back to school gave Annie the same twisted feeling in her gut as her first day. Maybe they found someone else to poke fun at or to joke with. She didn't have anything to defend herself with. Her switchblade was somewhere in the Byers’ house, but she hadn't asked anyone where it went.

"You ready?" Steve asked, looking at her.

Annie took a deep breath and nodded, "It's just school."

They both knew it was more than that. After a few days of hanging out, it became pretty clear when Annie decided to put on a front. Her back would straighten up a little bit too much and she would appear to tense up all over. It wasn't something Steve pointed out, and Annie assumed that he, of all people, would understand.

She could only imagine what seeing Nancy with another guy would be like for him. Though, a part of her wished that a broken heart was all she had to walk into. Seeing Billy was a reality she knew that she would just have to face. However, she tried to avoid it.

Since Steve was feeling better, she knew that she couldn't convince him to stay back. And maybe doing this with a friend would be easier for her. She wiped sweaty palms on her jeans before getting out of Steve's car.

It was going to be okay. That was what she kept telling herself on a loop. Just eight hours, seven if she took out lunch, and then she could go right back home. She could lose herself in a book or maybe try to catch up on some sleep she could never get enough of.

People stopped staring at Steve, and Annie wished that being shorter than him meant that she was safe too. Except it didn't. Nothing changed. There were stares boring into her as she walked to her first class. She didn't bother with her locker. That was something which obviously hadn't changed. Giving other students the satisfaction of walking up to it every day was the last thing she wanted to do.

There was a rumor going on about how Billy slept with her. It wasn't followed nearly as closely as everything with Steve a few days ago. Still, all of that led her to looking forward to lunch.

Sitting in the cafeteria was not an option. The first day back, they both sat in his car. They tried a few more places. By the end of the week, they were sitting in the auditorium. There was something about eating on a stage that calmed Annie a little and Steve was just glad it was empty.

"So what's going on there?" he asked, nodding at her copy of War and Peace.

Annie looked up at him, "Well... how do I explain this... there's this Pierre guy, and he kinda tied a bear to someone."

"What?!"

"In his defense, he was drunk?" she offered, laughing a bit.

Steve shook his head, "Didn't realize books like that were so interesting."

"You're kidding!"

"Every time I try the words don't really make sense or I get distracted by something else."

She nodded, "I get it. I mean, I'm sure you had a lot of other stuff going on."

"Not really. Come on, you lived in Seattle and New York. That's gotta be way more interesting. No wonder you didn't wanna talk to anyone," he chuckled.

"I didn't avoid everyone because I was trying to be pretentious. I gave up. There's a difference."

"What? How? You... you seemed pretty okay."

Annie sighed, "Well, you should've figured out I'm a fair actress by now. It wasn't like I had a say in whether or not I moved. I had to go with my mom or my dad, and well, my mom was the only decent option."

"Well, you can't say you don't have any friends now," Steve said, nudging her a bit.

Annie smiled a bit, "You've got me there."

"Could you read that part, though? With the bear?" he asked, "It just sounds like you're screwing with me."

She nodded, "Gladly, and I can tell you that I'm not screwing with you."

As Annie read the passage out loud, she couldn't help getting into it. Not wanting any of the details to seem boring, she tried her hardest to make all the characters sound different. Not that she would have needed to do that to keep Steve's attention. He looked at her so intently as she read. Of course, it wasn't anything she noticed since she was too caught up in what she was doing.

Lunch was the only real time Annie and Steve got a break from the school. Though, the only people who really cared about what they did were Tommy, Carol, and Billy. The perfect trio to constantly leave Annie feeling like she was going to vomit.

Annie had to stop carrying her books around in her hands. That was something she learned when her copy of War and Peace got snatched from her hands. Tommy didn't have the strength to rip apart the hardcover book, but she didn't want to take any chances either.

"So is it true you fucked Hargrove?" Tommy asked, cornering her in the hall when she was a bit slow to get out of the school.

"No, I think that was you," she said, trying to think of a quick getaway.

Steve sauntered up to both of them, "What's going on here?"

"Nothing, just having a chat with your psychobitch slut of a girlfriend," Tommy replied.

Steve nodded, "Right, I think you're done having a chat."

"No, I'm pretty sure I was just getting started," Tommy insisted, starting to get closer to Steve.

Annie was quick to move away from Tommy and grab Steve by the wrist, "You know what? I think we're done here."

She led Steve out of the school, promptly letting go of his jacket. Something told her that wouldn't be the last time they had to deal with something like that. It was the weekend again, though, and Annie was relieved that she hadn't completely fallen apart while at school. Getting through a full week sounded like it was out of the question.

However, that wasn't on either of their minds when they were sitting in Steve's room again that Saturday. She looked through his closet and sighed.

"Is it that bad?" Steve asked, sprawled across the bed.

Annie tossed a shirt to the side, "I just didn't know anyone could own this many polos. How were you so popular again?"

"Hey! It's because I'm good with the ladies, duh," he said, "What're we listening to right now?"

She found yet another polo and turned to face him, "West Side Story, the most heartbreaking musical I've ever heard in my life."

"I don't get it."

"Well it'd make more sense if we watched it. They're meant to be watched, but I don't have it and Family Video had it rented out already," she tossed aside the eighth polo, "I don’t get why you have so many polos."

He shrugged, "My mom told me they looked good on me and Nancy never minded."

"Well... I don't mind it, just... have you ever thought about what you like?"

"A little? No one really asks me, though."

Annie sat on the edge of the bed, "Do you like having all those polos?"

"Not really... I don't care, though. Same thing with the room," he shook his head, "Do you even know what you like?"

She thought a moment before speaking, "It took a while, but yeah. I don't have anything in my closet that I don't like."

That was a lie. What she wore that night with the demodogs was something she hated now. A part of her wanted to burn it, but she used to love that flannel. But now, it reminded her of everything so much. Mainly what happened with Billy. Shouldn't she have gotten over that by now? She didn't talk to anyone about it after she broke down that one time. A part of her wasn't sure if Steve even remembered.

As helpful as he had been that night and the day after, she knew he wasn't at his best. It was a relief that he was, for the most part, okay in the first place.

"How do you do that?"

She shrugged, "You try different stuff until you find what you like. And you'll know when you like something, trust me."

They stayed in silence for a little while, just listening as "America" played in the background. By all rights, Annie should have just been at her house. Her mom would be home tomorrow, but until then she didn't want to be alone in her house if she could help it. Though, she tried to stay the night at her own house.

Never mind how it had barely been a week and the only thing keeping her from losing it was that her cat would curl up in the middle of her bed with her. She didn't know how to go about talking about it. Though, if he wasn't going to comment on how she probably wasn't sleeping or eating much, then that was fine by her.

"So... what did happen with your parents, anyway?" he asked, "I mean, I get the cheating part, but my parents are still together and my dad’s not much better."

Annie stayed quiet for a few minutes as she tried to think about how to explain herself, "They tried making it work. We moved across the country so that could happen. My dad got a guy for a TA and everything. Still, they kept fighting and they wouldn't stop, and I was getting sick of it. I'm sure the neighbors were too, and I tried to get their attention. The only way I could do that was by talking about hurling myself off the roof of the apartment building."

"Shit... did you um... were you-"

"I didn't mean it, I was just frustrated," she said, thinking that was true, "But they agreed to go to family counseling. It just brought up all the problems my parents had and taught me that I was way more screwed up than I thought. We only went twice before my parents decided on the divorce."

Steve sat up, "That sounds awful."

"Yeah, it kinda was at the time... but my mom's doing the best she can and I appreciate that," she let out a long sigh.

He shook his head, "You shouldn't have had to do all that just for them to listen, though."

"Tell me about it."

"Hey, I know I'm not perfect, but you can talk to me about this stuff. Not that you have to tell me anything unless you really want to, but I just know that not talking about it ended up hurting Nancy a lot," he looked at his hands.

She nodded, "I know- but did it occur to you that I don't wanna talk about it? It's already bad enough just thinking about everything, talking about it? Forget it."

"Are you sure? I mean, I don't know what you're normally like since we kinda met a couple days before everything went to shit but," he sighed, thinking of the right words, "But you don't seem right."

"And maybe I'm not, but that's not your problem. That's mine. Let me deal with that on my own time. It's a lot easier to just make fun of how preppy you are."

"Hey!" he tossed a pillow at her.

Annie laughed, feeling the pillow hit her side, "What? I'm right!"

Really, talking about anything else was easier. It wasn't that she wanted to make Steve worry about her, but she couldn't help reacting to everything the way she did. Besides, Annie knew that he wasn't reacting the best to it either. Though, there was a lot more than just demodogs that he had to go through. Losing the girl he still seemed to love had to take a lot out of him.

On the outside, it probably looked like she simply stuck around out of pity or for some form of social protection. Maybe there was some truth in that, but she genuinely thought that Steve was fun to hang out with. He was funny and kinder than he gave himself credit for. Obviously there was a part of her that knew if she didn't stick around with at least someone, she would end up being more of a victim to ridicule than she already was.

All of that pissed her off more than she cared to admit. A part of her really did wish Billy Hargrove were dead. The way he would look at her made her want to run to the bathroom and throw up for hours. What if she had actually tried to cut his throat? No, they would be in a bigger mess than they were already. There was no need to add murder to the mix.

She wanted him dead in almost the same way she wanted her dad dead when she found out he was cheating on her mom. It wasn't something she actually wanted to happen. Death was so final yet uncertain. Saying that she wished that she wanted someone to still be alive but never come near her in any way, shape, or form was a bit long-winded and less catchy. That was more accurate to what she wanted.

"I know you don't like it when people touch you," Steve said, changing the subject back.

Annie shrugged, "Is that such a bad thing?"

"No, but... but you're really specific with it. I don't need to know why, I just need to know what you're okay with. We're friends, I need you to at least explain that."

"Um... I mean, I don't know totally, it depends," she paused, "Like, being snuck up on? That's a huge no-go, obviously. I mean, it's not that I hate touch or anything, I just- I prefer to be the one touching someone else. Or if it's, like, one of the kids, that I have a way to get out of it easily. It's mostly with people I'm uncomfortable with. Like you, at first, but it just- it depends, I'm not sure how else to tell you."

He nodded, "That's fine, I just don't wanna end up hurting you on accident or, like, one of the kids or something."

"Well, since you asked me something super personal... do you think you're getting over Nancy at all?" she asked, moving so she was criss-cross on the bed.

Steve frowned, "I guess? Seeing her and Jonathan together sucks a bit less every day. It's only been a week, though. And I'm not dumb, I know she's liked him for a while. I just didn't want to admit it to myself. After what I did last year when I saw them sitting together, I didn't wanna be the asshole jumping to conclusions again. I thought if she didn't love me that she would say it when she was sober. I put in so much effort for her and she didn't even care."

Neither of them brought up how obvious it was that Nancy and Jonathan probably did something when they were off getting some Murray Bauman guy to help them. Annie wasn't going to say anything if Steve wasn't. A part of her thought he knew, but she didn't want to hurt him even more if he hadn't put it together.

"You know she didn't leave you because you were a shitty boyfriend, right?"

"Now that's bullshit."

Annie tossed the pillow in her lap right at Steve's face, "No, you're gonna listen to me. The only one who's bullshit here is Nancy. If she didn't love you, then she should've said so. You were obviously a great boyfriend. You went to her dead best friend's parents' house when you didn't even know them. And you let her go, if you were a shitty boyfriend, you wouldn't have done any of those things."

"That's nice, but I called her a slut and I didn't even really like her much at first."

"If all that bothered her, she could have stayed broken up with you after everything a year ago," she pointed out, "You made up for all that. Not everyone does, and you obviously love her."

They both sat there, not saying anything. Instead, they both just let the music play in the background. Annie knew that she didn't have feelings for Steve. For all the bad luck she had with guys, they were too good of friends for her to mess that up. Because of that, she couldn't let him get over Nancy on his own. And she knew that for as moody as Steve would get at times, he would have told her if he didn't want her around.

Taglist (lmk if you wanna be on it!): @dungeons-and-demodogs @nxncywheeler @ilovebucketbarnes

#steve harrington #steve harrington x original character #steve harrington x oc #stranger things #stranger things fic #stranger things 3 #stranger things 2 #stranger things x original character #stranger things x oc #stranger things fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fluff

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waste-the-nite · 5 years

Text

Friends don’t // Ben Hardy

Basically it’s different occasions based off the song “friends don’t” by Maddie and tae.

Disclaimer : um this is my first story and it kinda sucks so yeahh but I had fun writing it, so whoever reads this I hope you enjoy!

********

Friends don't call you in the middle of the night

Couldn't even tell you why

They just felt like saying "hi"

I groaned as my phone vibrated on my side table next to my bed. Cracking my eyes opened I looked at the clock on the table, 3:27am. I debated on just ignoring the call, but thought it could be an emergency about my family or one of my friends. I reached over and grabbed my phone, seeing the name “Ben” on the screen. I put the phone to my ear after I swiped and answer the call.

“Ben is everything okay ?” I asked, sitting up just in case I needed to leave right away.

“Hey (y/n), everything’s fine” He said, “shit sorry I totally forgot about the time zones”

I sighed because he woke me up at 3am, but relaxed because he was okay. It made me a bit sad remembering he was still in America. He has been there for almost four months and wasn’t sure when he’d be coming back. Since it is 3am where I was, that means it was 8am where he was.

“Seriously Ben” I groaned, letting out a heavy breath of air, “It’s fine, I’ve been wanting to talk to you anyways, guess now is a good time”

“I’m really sorry, I totally spaced on the whole time zone thing, I’ve just missed you these last few days and just wanted to say “hi”, so hi.” He explain, letting out a little laugh at the end.

I smiled slightly at the thought of him missing me, “I missed you too, it’s been horrible not talking to you lately”

“Well since we both have been miserable without each other, tell me how’ve you been.”

We ended up talking for longer than I expected. We talked about my job and school, about what he’s been doing out in LA and New York and other random stuff. By the time we were getting ready to hang up it was 7am and I was very tired.

“Okay Benny, I gotta go and get some more sleep before my class later. I’m really happy we got a chance to talk” I mumbled into the phone.

“Alright love, thanks for keeping me company, I’ll see you soon” He replied.

“Promise ?”

“Promise, love you”

“Love you too Ben” I said, before hanging up.

I couldn’t stop the smile that made its way to my face before I fell asleep. I was so happy I got the chance to catch up with him, and maybe I slept through my alarm for class but i definitely don’t regret it.

********

They don't almost say "I love you"

When they're downtown somewhere, just a little drunk

They don't talk about the future and put each other in it

There was music playing from the band that was on stage, drinks in our hands, and smiles on our faces. Ben and I decided to go out to party, a bar somewhere downtown. It was a bit crowded but not to the point where there was no room to breath.

Multiple girls had come up to Ben, flirting and offering to buy him a drink. To which he respectfully declined. I was confused as to why, he usually goes off with someone by the end of the night. There were some good looking guys here but none of them are what I’m looking for.

Ben and I had been talking about anything and everything. People probably thought it was weird that we came here and talked instead of hooking up with someone. But honestly I’d rather just sit and talk with Ben.

“So in ten years, where do you see yourself?” Ben had asked, taking a sip from his beer.

I hummed thinking about where I did see myself ten years from now, “Well hopefully, I’ll be an teacher by then, married with kids and a cute dog” I replied with a smile, “How about you ?”

“I hope I’ll still be acting, maybe I’ll have a few big successful movies under my belt” He said, he had this hopeful and wishing look on his face , “I think I’d wanna be married by then, a kid or two, of course we’d still be doing our breakfast dates every Tuesday.”

I smiled at that, “You see me in your future ?” I asked, kind of surprised.

“Of course! You’re one of my best friends who knows where I’d be without you” He laughed, “Besides who would force me to watch ‘the bachelorette’ with them every other movie night”

I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop the redness that came to my face. I always imagined us being friends for a really long time but I didn’t know he did too. He was watching the band up front, giving me a chance to look at him. His hair was kind of flat pressed against his face due to the heat and closeness of people in here. His eyes bright as he looked around at people. Honestly beautiful he was.

He looked at me and smiled, “God I-”, ‘i love you’ looking down and letting out a breath, “I need another drink, how about you ?”

“Yeah I could use another one” He said, looking back into the crowd, “I’ll be right back, order me another drink, yeah ?”

Before I could say anything he was out of his seat and making his way across the room. Stopping in front a pretty red-head, smiling at her leaning in close to talk over the music. I let out a sigh, looking away and ordering another drink.

********

I keep telling myself this might be nothing

But one look in your eyes and, God, there's something

I wiped my hands on the back of my jeans, my nerves were getting the best of me. I shouldn’t even be nervous, it’s just a party at Gwilym’s, I go to them all the time. But this time is different. It’s different because now I know how I really feel about Ben.

Over the last few months I’ve really been thinking about my friendship with Ben. I realized how different my feelings for him are compared to my feeling for my other guy friends. When I think about Ben I get this weird feeling, something I never felt before. Being around him as been difficult, I just wanna lean over a kiss him.

Sometimes, when it’s just Ben and I hanging out, joking around and stuff, he’ll get this look in his eyes. It’s like all the happiness in the world is in his eyes. But I blink for a quick second and then it’s gone. Maybe I was just imagining it, I’m praying I wasn’t.

I let out a heavy breath trying to gather myself, turned off my car and got out. If I don’t go inside now I probably never would. Walking up to the door i almost turned back to my car a couple of times but before I could the door was thrown open and joe was stand there.

“(y/n)! You’re finally here, about time” He pulled me into a hug before leading me into the house.

There were people all over the place, some of them I knew, others I didn’t. I smiled at a few people as Joe continued to pull me through the room and into the kitchen.

“Look who I found!” Joe called out.

“(y/n) hey it’s great to see you, I’m happy you could make it” Gwilym smiled and gave me a small side hug.

“Yeah me too, thanks for inviting me” I replied.

I hadn’t seen Ben yet, maybe i wouldn’t even run into him. I could easily avoid him, just stay on the opposite side of the house. Gwilym handed me a drink, asking how I’ve been and what I’ve been up to. It was nice, talking to them again, I feel like i haven’t seen there in forever.

I guess the whole avoidin Ben thing is easier said than done. I was on my third drink when he walked into the kitchen, a girl holding onto his arm. I’ve never seen her before, I’m guessing he just met her at the party. I glanced into the other room, wondering if I could get away before he saw me. I obviously didn’t move fast enough because a second later he was walking over to me.

“Hey (y/n)” He smiles and hugged me, “haven’t seen you in forever”

“Yeah sorry I’ve been busy with work” I replied, but in reality, I’ve been canceling our plans.

/////

Ben introduced me to his friend, heather, she was nice. Which made it kind of hard to not like her. We were all sitting around in the living room talking. Unfortunately I was next to Ben, our legs pressing together.

Everyone was chatting with one another, I could feel Ben staring at me, I tried to ignore it but eventually I turned to look at him. We didn’t say anything for a while, just sitting there staring at each other’s face. I wondered if anyone noticed, but I didn’t look away to check.

I wanted to reach up and run my fingers through his hair, lean over and kiss him, really anything that gave me physically contact with him. I’m not sure how long we sat there staring into each other’s eyes, but he looked like he wanted to say something to me. As soon as he opened his mouth Heather called his name. He blinked slowly before turning to her. I didn’t move my eyes from his face.

I wasn’t listening to what they were saying but the next thing I know they’re both standing up, saying goodbye to us and walking out the room. Before they completely left the room, Ben turned and look back at me, giving a small smile. I closed my eyes, wishing that he was still sitting next to me.

Let’s just say I spent the rest of that night drinking and hoping that one day, Ben saw me the way I see him.

#ben hardy #fluff #cute #fanfic #imagine #borap boys #borap #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy imagine #joe mazzello #gwilym lee #rami malek #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rapsody movie #one shot #realization #love

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existentialstatesofmind · 7 years

Conversation

Weekend Fun

Clare: looked around the table. It was on the tip of her tongue to ask who Bren was but something about the way Kota's family was acting made her think she should just wait until Dakota was ready to tell her himself. Especially since even his mom didn't want to about him. She mentally did a head count trying to figure out if it was possible that Dakota had another brother. Clare thought she'd meet everyone but she realized now that includding Kota there were 'only' four brothers plus Kelly but Dakota had specifically said he had five sibilings and only one sister. When Clare had met everyone she'd assumed that he'd worded that badly and meant there were six kids in his family. "Good to know, I just won't go in there." Clare didn't plan to explore Dakota's house by herself anyway. She smiled at Stacy knowing if she'd made it this long without angering the Grandma's spirit, Clare would be just fine. Besides the Andersons didn't strike Clare as being super uptight about things like girls sleeping in the same beds as boys. As long as they weren't doing anything it was fine. Such a nice change. Clare often felt like she couldn't be herself around her family because they'd judge her for having so many friends who were boys. It was dumb, she wasn't going over to their houses to play kissing games or anything else they were so worried about. Why couldn't her parents just trust her? Clare was confused when she realized Dakota and his sibilings weren't talking about their Grandma being in their hearts and memories. Had they really divided up her ashes?! Clare wasn't going to ask. There were somethings she didn't need to know (she'd be spooked if she found out Kota kept his piece in his pocket somtimes, for example), and it might've been in her will. Clare didn't expect Emi to answer everything she asked her. It was a lot and Emi was only five. She just wasn't going to underestimate Emi and talk down to her. She had hated it when teenagers and adults did that to her. "Yeah! Like how some words in English start with a hard or soft C." She looked at the paper Emi wrote on. "The second symbol is the ee sound?" Clare checked to make sure she had it right. Clare wasn't sure if she would recognize it on a menu (so she'd know not to order it). Maybe if she tried to practice drawing the symbols at home for fun. They'd never look like Emi's. It was a beautiful language though and Clare was interested in learning what she could. "English is a lot easier than Japanese but we don't start learning how to write in cursive until third grade and then we're not allowed to turn in papers in print again until middle school. At least the symbols you can already draw are cool. Plus you get to learn more languages than the other kids around here." Clare comforted her. If she was here long enough, she'd be taking French in school and could chose Spanish as an elective too. "I'd rather play with a live octopus than eat it too." She admitted, smiling and laughing at Emi's story. "I hope we can get it fried. However, the California roll sounds delicious. I love avocados and I like crab too so imitation meat is fine by me." Clare smiled at Kota. "I can't wait to go to New York, it sounds like my kind of city." Her parents had promised a trip there. She just didn't know when. With the way things were going, she seriously doubted they'd all go as a family. It would probably be like the ski trip she took to Maine with Dad and Darcy while Mom stayed home. "Oh. Is Tokyo far from where you lived?" Clare kissed him softly in reply. She'd been oblivious. She thought Dakota had a girlfriend at another school and wanted to be the kind of friends who gave each other dating advice. Even when she'd found out he didn't, Clare just didn't think she'd be his type. Sometimes you got a second chance to be a first girlfriend and that was pretty special. Clare didn't see any reason why she couldn't consider Dakota her first real boyfriend if their trial period went well. K.C took her on all of one date, it hadn't been much of a relationship. She'd actually spent more time 'dating' Eli before realizing they'd rather stay friends. After they rode back to the Andersons, Clare got out of the van and waited on Dakota to get Emi. She went inside with them after it was decided that Bren wasn't there despite the light being on. "Okay. If Bren asks for it." Clare told Kota's mom hesitantly not sure what it meant when a mom gave you permission to hit a son you hadn't met yet. He must be a troublemaker since she'd sent Bren, and only Bren away to school, and he'd gotten expelled. No one seemed to like him. Up until now, Clare thought Dakota had a great relationship with all of his sibilings. To her they were all really lucky. Her much smaller family didn't have as much love to go around. This turn of events was surprising. She put the bag from the restaurant in the Anderson's icebox while Dakota was gone. After they'd walked to his room, Clare took off her shoes too. "Thank you. How cute, I love it." She said referring to the bathroom's sign. She raised her hand up to touch the sign, her fingers traced lightly over the writing before Clare went inside the bathroom carrying the bag Kelly had given her earlier. "I'll take purple." Clare said selecting a soft-bristled tooth brush. "Has this been approved by the American Dental Association?" She joked since they'd been talking about Home Alone at the restaurant. Soon as Dakota left, she took off everything except her panties and put on the grey pj pants and pink short sleeve shirt from Victoria's Secret. Clare stuffed her clothes in the bag and checked her reflection before leaving the bathroom. She got into the bed, wrapping herself in the blanket like they'd talked about so they could cuddle without it being super awkward. Clare looked at Dakota shyly and lay on her side facing him, she rested her head on his chest. "Is this okay? Are you comfortable?"

Kota: watched as Emi taught Clare about the symbols. "No, it makes the shi sound. There aren't any ee sounds in Japanese." she corrected. "Good night has six symbols." she said and started to write the symbols. "O-ya-su-mi-na-si." she said pointing to each symbol. "That's the thing Emi has trouble with." Kota pointed out. "She knows more languages and sometimes uses them." he added. "So do you." Emi whined. "That girl was lost." he stated. "Pero el telefono?" Emi asked looking at him. "Again, the person didn't know English. Were you listening in?" he asked her. "I tried to listen into your other conversation, but you were talking too fast." she said honestly. "That's because the other person was in New York and that's how fast they talk." he explained and listened to Clare talk to Emi, then smiled at Clare when she smiled at him. "They talk faster than Eminem raps in New York." Ash pointed out. "Only if they're in a hurry or if you're ordering food at certain places. Normally they talk as fast as Eminem raps." he explained. "We decided to go to New York without Kota, biggest mistake in our life." Dom complained. "No calling him while he was with grandpa was the bigger mistake." Ash added and Kota looked at them. "That's because you hung up on me when I answered my phone, then again when I tried calling back. You even hung up on grandpa." Kota stated. "That's because you answered in Spanish." Dom argued. "I was in freaking Spain. I thought you were a client, you called grandpa's phone. When I called back you told me 'English' then hung up the three times I tried calling." he stated. "But you hung up on us when we called your phone." Ash said. "Because I was busy and couldn't play your game." Kota said honestly. "Stop fighting." Emi stated and Kota sighed. "Lo siento." he said looking at her. "Esta bueno, pero no mas." she said sticking her tongue out at Ash and Dom. "No mas." he assured and with a smile and both Ash and Dom apologized as well. "It's only good if you can talk fast to understand and keep up with the New Yorkers. I mean we got invited by grandpa to the same places he took Kota, but we'd have to be there three days after they were since they were there on business for the first three days and the food they were eating seemed odd at the time so we didn't go." Dom stated. "Fried plantains are great." Kota said looking at them. "Should've accepted. We aren't going on business trips any time soon." he confirmed. "I have to take over MB and work on new products, we start selling them in America soon." he said honestly. He kissed Clare back as she asked Emi the question. "Well, we lived in part of Tokyo called Narita, Chiba Prefecture. It's over an hour to Tokyo City." she stated. When they were getting ready for bed, Kota listened to Clare say she was taking purple and nodded, then laughed a bit when she asked about the toothbrush knowing she was joking. Once she joined him in his bed and they were cuddling, he nodded. "Yea, I'm comfortable." he whispered and kissed her head before falling asleep.

#wf

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