#omg i post art not clickbait??

[iindigoeyed]

saw this dress and purse and i KNEW i had to draw this, it's so her!!

[osaemu]

life update under the cut bc this is a blog and people talk about their lives on their blogs!

omg okay so its only wednesday but I SWEAR ITS BEEN A WEEK SINCE THE WEEKEND. i have a five-slide presentation due at midnight that i havent started ((its 7:30 pm here)) and math homework due tmrw and im procrastinating bc i dont wanna do them 😭😭

ummm i have to make my queue post and then my mutuals post sometime soon. maybe ill do a selfship one too when my comms are done!! comms meaning art comms from other people but im writing in exchange so i have to do those too. maybe ill open writing comms for money whenever i set up paypal or something idk

kinda sucks that we finally got topless gojo but not the way we wanted it LMFAO,, sorry gojo nation. i would be devastated but dazai my number one pookie bear had the best day ever today so..... womp womp. also chuuya was so cute n silly in todays episode so i just cant bring myself to be sad rn lol

i think its funny how i stay up until 2 am most nights willingly and i dont drink coffee or energy drinks at all. im just built different!!

oohhhh i wanna talk about my irl friends rn. so irl whose codename is gonna be link on here is super cute n silly, she also writes fanfic but not nearly as often as i do. shes an ao3 girlie and shes super into zelda and thinks i write too much lmao which is probably true.

codename elsa is literally gorgeous. perfect breathtaking amazing in every way possible. shes a year older than me and i love her sm!! she thinks dazais very skinny which is true but...... hes my bf (real) (not clickbait)

codename jeanmarco is three years older than me and goes to berkeley :D theyre super fun to talk to and i cant wait for them to come back n visit!! i told them about the bsd and jjk updates today (theyre mostly involved in the aot fandom) and they said they were happy dazai survived bc otherwise i wouldve gone insane :3

honorable mentions: codename cat who got me into jjk (my old crush) left me on delivered for a whole month LMFAO, if it was anyone else they would be blocked but he leaves everyone on delivered so. im trying not to take it personally bc hes sweet but very bad at person-ing edit: he liked my spam post right after i posted this wow i manifested that so hard yall

also codename partay! keeps saying that if i were an animal id be a cat. idk why, i was whistling the other day bc i love whistling and she was like "hannah if you were an animal you'd be a cat".

EVERYONE ON MY SPAM TODAY SAID I LOOKED LIKE RAISIN BREAD TODAY. HOW DO I LOOK LIKE RAISIN BREAD.

anyways thanks for reading my life update ima do these more often now lmao!

[kidfoundonstreets]

OMG SIBLING EVER HAPPY BIRTHDAY KID KI DSKI DKIDS KID IDIS KID SKID HAPPY BITRDTHAY!!!!! OMG!!!!!! haoppy birthday happy birthday i followed you in like june its been over half a year already LITRERALLY HOW THE FUCK you are the one who caused my absorption into mutual group. i am sososos so so thankful you dont know how thankful this has actually been the bestest time ever. i love you i love you every time i see you on the dash i go OMG????!??!?!KID!!??!?!?!?!??!?! KID FOUND ONSTRETSTEDS YOU ARE SOOSOSOOSOS SILLY SO NICE I GO OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTDHYA BEST BIRTSHDYFA EVER YOU ARE SIBLING EVER we are anzu cat boy solidarity so real.. anzu cat boy siblings duo forever ily ily ily wonderful mutual on tumbglr dot com the wbebbed site. meowmeowmeomwoemwomeow KIDKIDKDIKDIDKIDK!!!!!!!!! here is a card for you

SEE LOOK WE ARE ANZU CATBOYS FOR REAL NOT FAKE NOT CLICKBAIT i was gonna send this at mindnight I AM ONLY 21 MINUTES LATE

JZHHHHHWKKJSHSKABBABBE QJBSHZH 9#9#927+2;2+$($)#0#0@)#+*!*!";"+$727292(#+#+(#)#(#+#!#(2!2+282(272+;2;$;$!#+2(2(282+#+#78$($+$$+$(#(#(#(#(2 ANAJAJWIBSHUJOQPPOJHQBJQ Q QJQJQB ANR ANR ANSNNT NANRN.. YUOOYOYOUOOU THE SISLVING THE..HFHEHHRNME.N . EOLXODES A MILLION TIMES OVER.. RHASKKU THANK TUOUT THNAK TOU THANSK TOU THSNAK TOTI

ITS BEEN HALFKA UEA.R?1?1?1!2828"0(2+2+2 ANFTHANM TOU FKR BEING IN MUTUAL GEOUP YOUR PRESNCNEN IS SO FUN AND IMSOAHAOOG TOUDE MT SILVING AND FRIENDYORUEVERY SKURBLYL

ANRNANANANNT ANT ANNT NAOMI ANTHOG MY GOOD FRIEND MY BESTIE MY BROTKHER MY FELELWO ANZU !1!1!1?2!$#)18(1 WHENENVER TOU PSOR IMMWAVUNG AND KUMPINGUOANDOWN JIHIHB HIH HIHAIAHIWHIHWI LOVEYSOSUIKCLEIEUSOSUNIOCOSUWOIII!!!! *likes post

HAHSHSHAHAH THE SILELISIT TOO THE MOST WNENEHRETIC THE BRIGHTINROEOM

anzu catboy will live on for etneneity fororevver andbvver as long as we are hehrw i hope we both bring rhe kehacy until death <3333$$ MEOEMQKWIAIAUWUWMEOWIQ

mutuals mrrlala mttual mutural youu!! youi

MROEOWMQNSKAUAUWYSJDJSJSHW SHDJSHWJWHAHA YEHAHHH LETS GO LERS FO LWLRLS FOFKSJWKWJQ YOUR ART IS PURE SAORINTIN BOOST THE SHAPES HE COLEOS RHE NOMMABLE OF OT ALL!!1!1!1!1!1 RHEHEHHEHE WHAHHHHSGSHWHWJDJSJWJWJW AND ESPEOICALLT SINCE IRS MT FEIENDS IT JUSR MAKESNIT SOS PERFECT ILVOEOWLCOEN WHAT YOU XREATE I LOVE YOU ILCOS NOEL LEVINE WAHAHHGSHSHWBI WISH BLODNES WERE REAL I RLALLT DO AGAHSHSHQ THE ANZU DESIGNS I ASORW RHEM THEYRE PROABBAKT MY FACORITE PART HEHEHDJHWHEHE EHEHEHEGEJDHWJEHGHW THE TWISNEIS THESIELSLSIES OH THE MOSCHEVIOSUSUEIZES LERS DANCE IN THE CONFERTI YAGSZIYAAYAYAY!!! YOU WERE MAKAING THIS AFTER 12 OWLAKSE GET SOME GOKD SLEEP OH NO

YELELING AND POINTING AT THE SCREEN. SHON RISKSISMI TSHIN TUSKSISMSI SHINS JSIS S SHSOS SHSOSJSN MY GUY MY BLEORBEO THE THE R EHHEJJBW EHHDJWHWHHEWHW WJEHEH 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥EVEN RUSHED YOUR ART MAKSA ME SO HAPPT RHERES CLEAR SKILL

[thepixelelf]

I posted 4,880 times in 2022

1,280 posts created (26%)

3,600 posts reblogged (74%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@jminwook

@woozi

@bisexualgyu

@ only-aroha-would-know

@xuseokgyu

I tagged 4,119 of my posts in 2022

Only 16% of my posts had no tags

#stickynotes.tpe - 756 posts

#seventeen - 678 posts

#golden child - 377 posts

#asks - 291 posts

#astro - 272 posts

#major ursa moment - 169 posts

#woozi - 168 posts

#anonymous - 158 posts

#kpop scenarios - 148 posts

#kpop imagines - 148 posts

rise of the major ursa moment tag 😎 I switched to being ursa halfway through the year so it's fun to see that up there. also omg uji being the only individual person on the top 10... truly I am weak for him

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and the way seokmins death was explained in 1251 so efficiently and yet made the audience 'figure it out' in the simplest sense— wonderful

@97-liners jackie got my longest tag and it was worth every letter 💕

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

and the universe said,

When soulmates are suddenly thrust upon the world, you are one in a million who wishes they weren't -- and that's before you meet the person (people?!) making your life much harder than it needs to be. And before someone asks you to sign an NDA.

genres: comedy disguised as romance and romance disguised as comedy, soulmate au, technically an alternate universe but they're still idols, fluff, angst?, short chapters

relationship(s): SVT ot13 x reader

warnings: 18+ (there will be no smut but perhaps suggestive parts and multiple references to/jokes about sex and I honestly just don't feel comfy with minors reading my writing of that stuff sorry). coarse language. everybody's a little bit very stupid. individual chapters will have their own warnings

See the full post

593 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#4

First to Fall - SVT 95 line (Completed!)

What happens when two friends who are ‘bad at love’ want to prove each other wrong?

Genres: romance, comedy, idiots-to-lovers, university au

Pairing: Reader & S.Coups (feat. Jeonghan & Joshua)

Warnings: language, absolute dumbassery

Note: this is a recast of an smau I have posted before

•••

Profiles

1. Taemin from SHINee

2. Scout’s Honour

3. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

4. Boom

5. First Date Types

6. As if

7. Wait What Happened

8. Awkward Silence

9. You Have No Idea

10. Emergency

11. No, Maybe

12. I Need To Tell You Something

13. Should’ve Gone First

14. I Don’t Know

15. Priorities

16. Missed

17. Standby for Backup

18. Starstruck

19. I’m Gonna Do Something

20. Because

21. A to B

22. Let’s Talk

See the full post

651 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#3

powerpoints I think seventeen would bring to a ppt sleepover

scoups: Exactly How Many Minutes After Midnight Each of You Texted Me on My Birthday

jeonghan: Cheating at Everything: Is it Really a Crime?

joshua: When To Quit a Bit (I Wish I Knew)

jun: Good Soup :]

hoshi: I *AM* a Tiger (NOT CLICKBAIT)

wonwoo: Why Cats Are Better Than People

woozi: Top 300 Best Animes Of All Time

dk: My Friends as Pizza Toppings and Combinations

mingyu: Receipts of Every Time You Guys Have Cyberbullied Me (Mostly Instagram)

the8: The Art of Shutting the Fuck Up Sometimes

seungkwan: 12 Slides of Secrets Y'all Have Confided to Me And I Will Only Skip Over Yours if You Admit I'm Your Favourite

vernon: cat videos 🐈‍⬛🐈

dino: I Am Underappreciated in This Household

832 notes - Posted December 1, 2022

#2

Or, Would You Rather it be Me?

Genres: romance, soulmate au, university au, (no angst isn’t that crazy?!) Pairing: Reader & Vernon (Seventeen) Words: 7.9k (00:31) Warnings: language. (spoiler: the characters make out and shirts are taken off but it doesn’t get described past that) Notes: well well well well well… what’s this? a soulmate fic by casey thepixelelf with no angst in sight? it must be christmas! oh wait, it is (was)! happy (EXTREMELY LATE I’M SO SORRY) holidays mia @ memesolvernonchwe​ !! hope you like it :)

set in the Words that Bind Us universe

A detested soulmark, a friendship over a decade in the making, and an unexpected proposal from one friend to another... what could possibly go wrong?

See the full post

840 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Bouquets for a Friend (From a Friend)

Genres: romance, ceo au, secretary/personal assistant au Pairing: Reader & S.Coups (Seventeen) Words: 1.6k Warnings: cheol gets drunk off-screen Notes: another recasted fic because ceo cheol has me in a metaphoric literal chokehold sorry

Your boss gets flowers quite often. This time, when he does, he wants to get rid of them, and who are you to turn down free flowers?

See the full post

wow that svt powerpoint post really climbed up last minute 😭 really happy to see or would you rather it be me here, though, because I feel like that's the post I worked the hardest on in this list. not surprised about #1.... it was a repost but I should've expected carats' weakness to ceo cheol lmao

852 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[random-the-hijabi-artist]

I shoulda made this an intro lmao.

Sup. My name's Random, but you can call me Faith 'cause that's my middle name and not my first name. :D

I don't like saying my age online so I'm ageless...not really though lol.

Soy Colombiana pero nacio en América. OMG A LATINA MUSLIM REAL NOT CLICKBAIT WHAT IS THIS SORCERY.

I like drawing stuff lol. I like fandoms like TTTE/Shining Time Station, Sonic the Hedgehog, Danny Phantom (Though I only found out about him a year ago and haven't watch the full show. I'm so fake), sigh Friday Night Funkin' (Mostly the Shaggy Mod since I haven't played the game in a long time xD), Winx, Eddsworld, Miraculous, Henry Stickmin, Monster High, and I think there's more but I forgor 'cause I have trash memory.

I simp for three engines. I'm so Halal Mode bro. Edit: Now four...and counting... Edit: Now 5...

I don't like rude people. People who steal art or lie or just plain bad and shouldn't be on the internet. ...Also I don't like dumb people lol.

So yeah I think that's it about me.

For art, go to my Pinterest.

I sometimes, sometimes, upload on my YouTube Channel.

But yeah. I may just post nonsense and sometimes art and I'm not gonna be all that active.

So yeah, hi.

-Random🌙

[wiltingofthewhitelily]

OKAY OKAY HEAR ME OUT,, hetalia ytber au

Y e s

Omg I've actually thought about this a l o t before lol

America would probably be one of those basic vloggers (or maybe a gamer, or both) who records literally everything and always holds the camera up super close to his face and always screams about something. His titles are usually in all caps and are kinda clickbait-y like "I'M LEAVING YOUTUBE!!! *Sad* *Emotional* *You will cry*" (when really he's just talking about possibly taking a hiatus). And at the beginning and end of each video he takes like 1 whole minute to say "don't forget to SMASH that like button, SMASH that notification bell, SMASH that subscribe button" etc. Also he has a ton of fucking sponsors that take up the majority of his vids too.

I feel like England would do ASMR videos??? Like either things like asmr eating or drinking tea, or even reading a book into the microphone. His voice is e x t r e m e l y soothing.

Russia would be...you know that like, weird side of YouTube that has those youtubers that do that thing where they just sit down and stare at the camera for like, hours??? (If you don't know what I'm talking about look up "Sitting and Smiling.") Yeah I feel like that's what Russia would do.

Japan would do like art tutorials and little animation videos and stuff. He's super shy though—never talks to the camera and never shows his face. He just has text across the bottom that explains what he's doing.

Italy and China would probably make cooking tutorial videos (or maybe art tutorials too for Italy).

France would be a vlogger too, but he's way more laid back and chill than America and usually just shares fashion/hair tips and does shopping hauls and mukbangs and stuff like that.

Germany rarely ever posts to YouTube, but every few months or so he'll just post like a random video of him doing some workouts—the videos are like 20 min. long and don't involve much at all, just him doing workouts in a gym. (If you know the kind of vids I'm talking about, you know.) Occasionally he'll post cute videos of his dogs.

Canada...eh, I don't really think he'd be into YouTube that much. He might post the occasional hockey video or cute Kumajiro video but that's it.

That's just some of the ideas I have though XD feel free to share more if you have 'em lol

[meteor-sword]

was boutta send in pianjeong til i saw kit did it already (kit if u see this, ur iconic n ily) and i am now here to say that 1. mirror surface with the rip tide tore my heart out for some reason and will probably be bastardized into a fic title and 2. ur postwar jeong jeong personality change is making me Think Thoughts 👀

omg... im glad that Hit bc i have been thinking thoughts about piandao tbh. maybe because he’s featuring in another chapter of Not Clickbait, maybe because i went through old piandao art for three hours last week. who knows which. i LOOK FORWARD TO WHATEVER FIC THAT MAY BE!!! 

and post war jeong jeong personality change??? assuming he gets with piandao and moves into his castle

at first, he’s very short fused. new environment, entirely new circumstances, probably more liberalism in his life than ever before-- or at least since childhood. he goes from on edge, to on the precipice at the end of the war, to slowly realizing there’s no need for hyper vigilance 

also short fused in his temper. he goes from being quick to insult someone (piandao) or shout his thoughts in disagreements, to stating them to being more open to discussion than i remember him being in the deserter.   

he grows his hair out since he’s in a cleaner environment-- less pests and easier access to bathing. he’d had a topknot as a soldier, which was a traumatizing time for him presumably, so i imagine he tries different hairstyles. perhaps a nice braid. 

he does not transition out of shlumpy baggy clothes, but he does transition into Nice Shlumpy clothes. i’m not sure if that would be a result of his perspective shift, or because someone (piandao) insists, and then it assists in his shift

i imagined a jeong jeong somewhere on this journey when i wrote this one pianjeong outline, by the way. sokka coming across a well dressed, well groomed, well fed and well rested jeong jeong, calmly having an intense debate with piandao? sokka screwing something up and expecting jeong jeong to fly off the handle, but he just sighs and shows sokka how to do it correctly? 

AND TO TIE IT ALL UP WITH A BOW. jeong jeong getting to a point with his depression where he starts to really notice and consider piandao and realize he has a lot more going on under the surface than “serene old swordmaster” bc support and affection should go both ways 

[goffilolo]

Demise!Izuku as a Youtuber?

Yep! You heard me right. Demise server is a strange little land, full of strange little ideas, unfortunitely this one idea in particular wasn’t so little. So without further ado here’s all the shit we came up with in the server in regards to izuku as a youtuber within demise!au:

If Izuku was a YouTuber can you imagine the fucking chaos dumpster fire his channel would be

He's be like an edgy twink Jenna marbles(edited)

Doing Me time every damn day

bandit is jennas dogs

tenya is julien

He'd have weird ass videos like dipping bandits feet in red pet dye then putting a sign on him that says "you pet and you'll meet the last person who dared to"(edited)

And he's also make videos about him breaking into UA and interrupting classes and stuff

"hey gamers, today we're breaking into UA to see my boyfriend and read all of my friend's secret files"

And a video just of him filing Aizawa in weird places and at the end putting him on an inflatable mattress and watching him float away 

He wakes up in Canada

They don't know how or why

He just attaches a go-pro to trash bandit and let's him run wild. He probably has a seriesJust letting him loose in weird places

DONT LET TRASH BANDIT EAT AIZAWA'S SLEEPING BAG AT 3AM | VERY SCARY"hey guys so today ill be doing the 'How many bottles of quil can i steal before i get caught by Tsukabitch' challange. feel free to make a video of your own!" 

He probably dyes Bandit according to holidays and puts him as the profile picture. The kicker is, he only does it for holidays that his country doesn't celebrate

Like 4th of july

And Canada day

"Hewo soulless fuckers it is me your overlord, King of the soulless fuckers. Today I'll be going up to people in the streets and telling them that I killed God and Satan. But y'all know me, that's not enough. So I'll be asking them which one I killed first and if they get it wrong I take a shot of quil. The quil I'll be taking is the plain ol kind so don't worry your little marshmallow heads about it." 

He only makes text posts in OwO speak this just makes me realise demise!izuku would make a great youtuber

He would twitch stream all the time doing the weirdest shit for hours on end

"what is up gamews! today i wiww be weviewing the new game cawwed life! i have been pwaying it fow about 16 yeaws now and i have to say it's pwetty bad my guys!"

I feel like he'd be absurdly popular and whenever someone mentions him and they look up the channel they are like "wth have I stumbled upon?!"

I'm just imagining what his front page would look like

The seasonal trash bandit profile picture, the banner would be a flaming hellscape with people he dislikes burning and trash bandit looming on low opacity in the background 

(He made it so that only people who view it on TV get the full experience.)

He probably has his own segment on buzzfeed unsolved

Not talking

Its about him

The intro video would just be him staring into the camera while mixing together a horrible concoction of quil then downing it without breaking eye contact(edited)

His about section is written in 3 different types of code and it's all in owo if you manage to crack it

i love demise|!izuku as a youtube cryptid

Clown Speak and OwO speak mixed together

I feel like in the beginning Izuku was this obscure YouTuber that you only find out about if someone in the know tells you about it until a bigger YouTuber found him out on a deep dive video and just couldn't stop watching yes

i imagine once he gets big people from react channel would invite him to react to videos of people reacting to his videos 

What if in one of his videos he started acting like his old self just to freak everyone out. He didn't say anything about it instead he talked about hero analysis with a bright smile and trail off into muttering a few times only to blush when he realized it. He have his hair in a ponytail with only bangs framing his face and some messy pieces falling out. Also her be wearing something plain but like old Izuku, maybe hero merch or something. The comment section was just people flipping out and shit

He never acknowledges the video after he made it

No matter how many comments he gets he acts like it doesn't exist

omg you know wha tthat would actually allign with the demise and canon swap places for a da

yand you know what that gives me a lot of feels

the millions of subscribers get to see the old izuku

Maybe after a milestone he would post a video he made in middle school of him analyzing a quirk in video format to make sure it wouldn't get destroyed

And he put a couple videos of younger him after it

But it starts being supporting Izuku

And his present and past self and stuff

PEOPLE MAKE FAN ART first Its all full of trash and memes

What if that picture of canon Izuku meeting demise Izuku was a fan art someone made of his old self meeting the new him 

Kids from his class kinda Piecing together they really screwed up?Some even sending in apologies, perhaps

For mental health day I could see him posting a serious video about what he went through and his time in the mental hospital 

And on national stop bullying day he would talk about his decade of abuse including the details of how the school and teachers fucked up and everything aboutbakugou

izuku using youtrube for shitposting and advocating

And for mothers day he features both Rei and Inko?

Endeavor exposure video

What if Rei helped edit or something?To help pass the time for her

Give her something to do

People love the mysterious editor

I feel like villains watch his content like maybe Dabi

rei and fuyumi sometimes make appearances

Dabi just shows up in the videos

Quickly become faves

I feel like Dabi would become a fan and start crying after seeing his mom happy in one of Izuku's videos

"...and this is rei, my hospital mom and this if fuyumi, her daughter so like my sister she helps me keep my shit together and sometimes gives me quil.." 

dabi crying from seeing his mom happy in some lunatic's youtube videos

“...and this is shin, dont let the looks deceive you this man went to jail"

Shin comes in and covers the cameras a lot

FATHERS DAY IS A PICTURE OF TRASH BANDIT WITH HIS DADS VOICE SCRAMBLED OVER IT

“and this is the local florida woman and her alligator

WHAT IF BNHA VERSE HAD QUIRKLESS AWARENESS WEEKizuku would go ape shit during that week

"who needs a quirk when my dad gave me a gun!"

He would give axe sharpening tips

"Remember kids! Society won't help you, so you gotta help yourself!"

he would make 'how to cook videos' except it would only be quil combos

What if one day he just put quil in the ovenand pulled out a muffin

Remeber, don't try this at home kids." makes A horrifying quil combo "rememer never ever do this even if you have a quirk that allows it." downs the horror concoction

"so today were gonna do my boyriend does my makeup challange and since both me and tenya are dumb and know nothing i borrowed my mums makeup..." 

It’s a given he’s gonna do makeup tutorials. The real question is would they be good or absolutely horrendous?

good or horrendous? Both

Amazing makeup at horrendous things? Hmmm interesting

“Hey guys today I’m turning myself into a real like eldrich abomination with the help of eyeliner and glitter!”

izuku has a whole playlist of videos dedicated to tenya and UA

theyre all jsut shitposty compilations of some footage when tenya isnt looking

Even tho it looks like he couldn't give a fuck he is very selective with which footage makes it online. He's very careful at how much is revealed and makes sure no students or secret identities would be in danger with his content

izuku isnt stupid...hes jsut having a good time

Sneaking into UA highschool by hiding in pro hero eraserhead's sleeping bag | NOT CLICKBAIT

Izuku would totally play carefree and childish games while just being Izuku

Like his animal crossing series

Fucking legendary on his channel in terms of gaming

izuku's sims lets play

it's like a 10 generation long telenovela lowkey based off the todoroki family

He has no straight sims, he recreated UA and class 1a in sims

the wedding of sim izuku and sim tenya is like the biggest party in the sim neighbourhood

He creates endeavor just to lock him in a room with 50 ovens

Omg his draw my life has got to be super depressing

He'd be super blunt and monotone during his whole draw my life going through all of the abuse and bullying that he went through because of his quirklessness and also his suicide attempt and all that jazz(edited) 

izuku would paint on a potato

Izuku would make a get ready with me where he does something totally batshit crazy then ends it with "Ah. Yet another day in my life."

Izuku meets Marie Kondo

“Only keep what brings you joy”

“Well this gun from my father sure brings me joy”

Knifemaking videos but with axes

Izuku decided to do a wardrobe tour and like 4 things were bloodstained which he never addressed. The most popular comment was what happened, which of course he never answered.

Izuku does these new year (like all of the questions from last year) or milestone Q+A’s/AMA's which are basically people just asking a bunch of the things he wouldn't answer or address before. A lot of his viewers write down and timestamp when he does something and doesn't address it. If you don't you'll never hear an answer.

He has his boonk gang phrase which is probably like Bandit gang or some shit like that, which he shouts while breaking into places. UA dorm rooms, UA facility office, UA, Hero Agency’s, Endeavour's bedroom (Don't ask), etc. 

He has a variety of videos where he does things from different communities. For example he has a few hair tutorial and following hair tutorial videos. Same for makeup.I feel like Izuku would also have some dresses and slutty Halloween costumes that be put on in a video all while looking like someone who just had finals and was studying for 4 days straight beforehand.

At like 4AM a thought hit Izuku to have Trash Bandit meet Kouta for the first time and learn what his sheep talks about and what he has to say. Needless to say he took his camera, went to UA, stormed the dorms, went up to the shy kid sheep in hand, looked him dead in the eye, and asked “What is my sheep saying.” bandit speaks and Kouta goes from confused and slightly scared to disgusted and horrified. What did Bandit say? Who the fuck knows…

Izuku loves analysis and while he doesn't do it for heroes anymore when he misses it too much sometimes he does it with tv shows or other things.

Idk what yet but Izuku is weirdly good at something and only showed it on camera once. (He's casually known to be a good artist) Whatever he's good at he did it once for a video and it's in one of the most popular compilation videos of him. 15 minutes of Izuku being a cinnamon roll.

Izuku has a shit ton of videos featuring the UA kids. He has some playlists dedicated to certain ones even if all you see is the back of their head.

Any proceeds Izuku manages to get (he is popular but he gets demonetized a lot) goes to different charities for the quirkless.

He made only 1 serious cooking video on his birthday, but instead of using a knife he used an axe.

He has a video called “My sharp things (tour)” where he just shows off all of his knives and axes and shit along with a massive pair of scissors he got Momo to make.

Izuku makes videos of himself destroying endeavor merch while staring at the camera.

[thestudyfeels]

How To NOT Be Depressed.

(Or If You Prefer — How to Be Substantially Happy About Life.) 

WARNING: This is one rollercoaster ride of a post. Proceed with extreme caution. For some, the staggering levels of insight may induce true purpose and re-establish their warrior spirit. For others, side effects may include grammatically incorrect hate or aloof eyerolls. We advise exiting if the said group includes you, for we're very tired of cleaning vomit off the seats.

Step aboard at your own risk.

If you’re one of the brave souls who stayed back to join us, I congratulate you for even I am scared of how crazy this post truly is. Alrighty then, kick back and relax folks, today we’re having a mature, adult conversation. Merely another cheery afternoon spent talking about life and its realities. Not too bad, eh?

Before we begin, spoiler alert! For those of you already turned off by the mention of 'depression’ and packing their bunnies to leave, sit tight. This ISN'T really about depression. This is about HAPPINESS. No clickbait. That got your attention, right butterfly? Nice, now stay.

A welcoming, maybe demanding A/N: Do me a favor and read this in one go. Maybe even plug in those headphones and listen to the songs dedicated to each part as you read. It's long, you have the new Riverdale episode to catch up on, but don't hop away just yet because (I had a couple moments writing this, alright) it's life changing. You'll prolly cry a few tears of realization, nod all nod-able body parts in agreement, beat your chest at random instants 'cause the hype’s too real, and perhaps, if it isn’t too much to hope for, finally go change your life for the better. In case you've forgotten, this'll remind you that there’s always hope, that you're a born conqueror, and you were made to THRIVE, not survive. Convinced? Kay, roll the cams.

   To clarify first-hand, no, I'm not depressed although I’ve experienced mild depression for a period before. Glad to say I'm out of it but I still struggle with tackling what I'm about to detail next.

Insert bitter voice, it’s this: My life is nowhere near I want it to be. Though I know vaguely what I wanna do, I haven't yet figured out how the hell I’m supposed to get there, or how my dream life is to be sketched out. It’s all a blurry mess. Which, to put it bluntly, hurts. I HATE feeling powerless and worthless, roaming about aimlessly.

There are many such moments where I hit the brakes to wonder why I’m not living THE Life already. There have been several times when I curl up and cry a frickin’ Amazon. There are horrible nights where I'm shaking with emotions, but they won't release, leaving me choked. (…not in that way, you hoes. Um, just ruined the dramatic mood with a lame dirty joke, sorry.)

   They say talking helps and that's why I figured I'd drop in. But perhaps more importantly, I wanted to hang because no matter how unfocused the lens may seem at my future, I don't consider myself a dopey loser incapable of the crazy dreams or wild bucket lists I fantasize about– and I thought I'd skip along to remind you that neither should you. (Or maybe I just came to sniff the new appetizers, who knows?)

PS: I also broke a sweat listing six ways to get outta depression– alternatively, to be more of a conqueror– because y'all are always pestering me with asks that go “how do I conquer omg send supplies” (Like, imagine a conqueror saying that! Oh, the crime, the atrocity!)

So yes, you're welcome. Have a feast with this litness.  

The main reason behind people being so frightfully sad, I’ve found, is a huge lack of fulfillment. We don't do what we love, for either— [ 1 ] we aren’t living life the way we want to (since we keep doing things we feel we're supposed to do) OR [ 2 ] because Mama, Papa and Mrs. Carter next door feel that struggling is the only way, and project their traditional beliefs onto us. Either way, whether or not we consciously realize this, subconsciously, we're all hurting because of it. Badly.

That lingering feeling of emptiness never seems to leave. You feel drained every night when you drop into bed, not because you gave it your all, but because you couldn't. And so, we do the next best thing. Drugs. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. We numb out this subconscious pain by binge watching Netflix shows. We deaden ourselves to that discomfort by reading smut in the bathroom or by playing dumb video games all day. We try (and fail) to extinguish this feeling of not ‘being enough’ by having silly flings or fake friendships.

And ultimately, we NUMB ourselves out to LIFE for we can't bear to live the way we're living. There's a reason why “How to Stop Procrastinating” posts are so popular (they’re a blogger’s most foolproof way of paying the month’s rent, and yes, even I'm guilty of a couple). We’re constantly having FOMO and tuning into others' highlights on social media– completely missing out on our own lives in the process. We fail to realize that the culprit is lack of genuine purpose more than zero self-control (or maybe it’s both, but that’s a tale for another day).

[On a side note, obviously I did generalize a bit– video games can be a passion for you, watching shows a way of winding down. But for most, they’re only DISTRACTIONS, just another way of ignoring the calls of life by hanging up the phone.]

   And here's the bitter truth about depression: The longer you wait to start living authentically, the more you start tuning out the inner cries wanting change, the faster your dreams start to ebb away, and the more you'll want to become insignificant. And to me, that's the scariest part of this journey to my dream life.

Nothing frightens me more than knowing that the moment I stop pushing, the very moment I give in to distractions and fears, my goals will stop manifesting themselves and I'll be stuck in this small town with its small people eternally. And THAT, I'm certain, won't be any more fun than working your way through a soggy ham sandwich, ironic as soggy is what life has become. (Yes, I have a thing against soggy sandwiches. They were a kid's worst lunch nightmare.)

   If you relate, and I’m sure you do (it’s probably why you stopped scrolling through cheesy fanfic for ten minutes to read this, I know you amigo) — here are six ways to NOT be depressed. Or more accurately, to gift wrap yourself some sweet ol’ happiness.

You're a Samurai and the Following Be Your Katanas —

Hol’ up. The second you reach the End Card, I want you to drop your Cheerios and implement at least THREE of these six strategies. Just follow the Takeaways, I've made this really simple. And as a rule, one of them has to be this one. (Look, don't whine. If you wanna climb outta that dark hole, you gotta put in some effort. So pop that booty, and let’s get down to business!)

Here’s the most truthful, though cheesy thing I’ll ever say: I would be nowhere I am today without this blog. If not for it, I would most likely be weeping in a dug-out hole somewhere, drowning in my salty little pond of tears and chiming every loser’s favorite words (“there's no point”). Creating this blog gave me a definite purpose – putting out fiery content, dipping myself deep into my newly found passion for writing and influencing, and connecting with other conquerors on the platform.  

I meet a lot of folks, whether at Sad School, Mouldy Mall, or Boring Bus stop, who always seem to be in a state of death-inducing boredom. When asked about their favorite thing to do, they’ll mumble “sleep” or “food” like Siri narrating your cat’s evening routine. And then you see adults, dragging through life mindlessly. Utterly clueless, floating like a piece of driftwood in an ocean bubbling with life. My sympathy quota gets overdosed everytime I think about it.

   To spell it out, find something to do. Anything! Learn a language, try some ballet, take pictures of your neighbor's rose garden, make an art piece and show it to your mom, stitch buttons onto shirts for fun, heck, make an entire shirt out of buttons, take a break from reading smut to write your own, frutify your farts, WHATEVER, just get up and move.

And here’s why – nay, not to keep you engaged or make you feel less worthless, not that bullcrap. It’s to put in gear the journey of figuring out what is the shite that you love doing. Too often we get stuck thinking about what our oh-so-great passion is. Get this, passion is energy. A spark for something. A magical fortune cookie which, when cracked, seems to explain everything, gives you the very reason for being alive. You can only feel that fire, that wild love, when you actually do it. So get cracking is all I’ll say!

Takeaway:

Attempt something. Nah, scratch that, imagine you’re in a sweet shop with shelves lined with free samples and try everything. Pick up that Polaroid cam, take that dreaded history course, buy that children’s cooking kit– in short, start working. Pull out all the stops, get curious, and get creative. In the process, if you promise to try hard enough, you WILL (money back guarantee) find out what makes your little heart burst with mad happiness and would willingly do for free, if needed, because you really are that crazy about it. And that, my dear, will be your oh-so-great-indeed passion. Have no doubt, you’ll never be “bored” again.

Real talk, having a dream is a big deal. And unfortunately, I’ve witnessed, rarely anyone has one to begin with. They’re either more dead than the cheap skeleton I bought for Halloween or believe they have a dream, but in reality, it belongs to mom, dad, or Uncle Sammy. Listen, doing something for someone you love (my Uncle Sammy used to supply me with cold cash whenever he came around, loved that guy) is great! YET, if you’re willing to throw away your life to fulfill others’ expectations, convincing yourself it's because they love you, even when YOUR lonely heart craves bigger things than just a marketing job, then you, my friend? Are the biggest fool. Don’t get offended, we both know it, this girl needn't ramble.

Recently, my relatives were over (nope, sadly not Uncle Sammy) and my cousin and I had a chat about life (correct, I grab every opportunity to do so). It wasn't very exciting I must say, he kept staring off into the distance (I wonder why), but what he SAID is what I'll talk about. After I’d gushed about my dreams, he asked skeptically if being an influencer would still be an ambition two years from now when I graduate. I raised my eyebrows, mock hurt, like eff you son, I ain’t giving up on my dreams! But that question got me thinking.

Life is wild. Unpredictable. An unexpected call, a single person, a random BLOG POST (cough) – can turn your life upside down, sometimes in the affirmative, other times not. This variability of life isn’t uncommon, and everyone experiences some part of it– unpaid student loans, failing startups, talent and art going unnoticed in industries dominated by wealth and connections, you name it. If all of that doesn’t make you run for the Himalayas and abandon any dreams, throw in a quick side dish of dysfunctionale famiglia with a sprinkle of self-image issues.

It ain’t easy, darling. The world is one cruel headmistress; it loves slapping awake the daydreamers and wishful thinkers. That hasn't ever actually stopped the dropouts and class clowns from building castles in the air though. And the common blueprint you notice they follow? Let me introduce you to…  Madness. Obsession. Maniacal obsession, to say. (Yes, I'm done playing with my words.)

   I struggled writing this point. A pestering voice in my head kept mumbling – They'll go back to doing the same sad shit anyway. Um, does anyone even read your posts? Lol, call yourself an influencer, hun. Hesitation started creeping in. Then the irony of the situation struck me. I laughed, shook my head and got back to typing.

We ran out of juicy gossip weeks ago, so here’s your tea served cold: insecurities and self doubt WILL get in the way. That whiny voice was just a mild version of what you face when you go all in. Fear traps you in its cage, and those who prattled behind your back now progress to talking shit in your face. Criticism and self doubt resurfaces, so unless your defenses are strong, you'll be crushed. Destroyed REAL quick.

When hell breaks loose (oh honey, and it WILL), your self defense comprising of maniacal obsession must be well learnt. Let them attack, mock, heck, drag you away from the desk and hurl you at the top of a damn mountain, but you better STILL hike back down, show them the middle finger, and continue working. That's how bulletproof you've gotta be. That's how madly do you have to love your dreams. And if you really think this will be a cake walk or want to continue complaining about Stuart being born with a silver spoon, hop off the train already. Your destination isn't on the tour list.

Look, my dreams terrify me. But they certainly make me feel more alive than complying with what every parent said about getting good grades and holding together a roof on my head. My ambitions set me free, give me a reason to fucking live. And yet, every now and then, something makes me question them. A fear engulfs me, some doubter proclaims I suck, someone I love is so blinded they can't see my vision. And that's okay. My defenses are way stronger. The next day rolls round, and you'll find me hustling again, thriving again. All because I know that even if no one reads my posts (the worst case scenario, I know y'all love me lol), someday in the future, someone will. I know that even if I’m not an influencer yet, if just one reader becomes a conqueror because of my words, it would be a win. A big win. I'd have done my job. All because I’m wildly, yes maniacally, obsessed with my dreams.

So hey, cousin? This influencer thing? This will be my dream long after I've graduated. Till the day I die, and maybe even then I'll rise from my grave to give a dead pal a lively pep talk. My watchtower has just been upgraded, so thank u, next.

Takeaway: 

“General, we've arrived!” Finally! Position those cannons, Martha, let’s talk them through the defenses. All aboard? AHOY MATEY! (wait, that was one for the pirates). Step one, dare to create a dream in your mind’s eye. The bigger, the crazier, and the scarier, the better. Doesn’t matter how impossible it is, don’t care how many voice their opinion against it, just imagine, keep a million possibilities in mind.

Once you see the life you truly want (you’ll know, everything will seem to zing)— have a sip. Become OBSESSED for that life. Thirst after that vision, itch to manifest it, and pine for the satisfaction that’ll come to your soul once it’s made a reality. Fall madly in love with the process and how magical it feel when you do it. And THEN, bellow a loud war cry and charge headfirst into battle, shields held high at all the criticisms. We conquerors never cared much for them anyway.

(play ♬) Picture this: forehead stamped with beads of sweat. Calloused hands working their fingers to the bone and eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. Conjure an image where powerful beats are pulsing hard in your ears, synced with your own elevated heartbeats, and you’re thriving. Performing. Winning. Guess the secret to that? Preparation. Champions prepare. You can’t throw anything to the winds or rely on ‘luck’ or chance to conquer.

Tough days are in everyone’s calendar, be it your extra cheerful neighbor, Sally, or lone wolf classmate, Derrick. We’ve all found ourselves sulking over an awful situation, scooping into mint ice cream to forget mistakes, errands, and ghosting exes. Yet guess what? The solution isn’t the proclaimed “be positive!” or “It all happens for a reason, don’t you worry” - the key is coming up with a method to dodge the discouraging effect these hiccups have on us.   

So every bad day, I bring out a mason jar containing a knot of chits and one secret letter which is, on most days, kept hidden on the top shelf of my cupboard. I make myself comfortable on the bed, read all my bits of paper carefully, including the letter addressed to yours truly, close my eyes, and mentally fight back whatever’s bringing me down.

A short while later, I get up, now a warrior, and go slay the rest of the day like it was my last one on this planet. That jar is my jar. A Conqueror’s jar. One look at those powerful reminders, and I’m grounded once again, the beast within me now unleashed to kill.

Takeaway:

Honey, go get yourself a jar. Along with some papyrus and ink. Then start jotting down. Document past victories, future visions, fears that mean zilch to the person you’re about to become, batty goals you’ve still gotta chase, reminders that the majority will never understand what it is you’re tryna do here, and how that’s perfectly alright 'cause you'll find your conquerors, your squad one day. Create your victory jar. And then go knock ‘em down dead. Bad days stand no chance against you. You’re a winner, a fucking rebel. Go take what’s yours.

Y’know, I’m perfectly aware that many muggles reading this will whine that dealing with depression ain’t no piece o’ pie and it’s hella hard to get up and take the crown when you feel like a pile of dino dung.

Stop it. Get some help. (See what I did? Like Michael- ok ok, calm thyself.) For real though, and I’m tired of repeating this with my kitten stamped microphone (but I’ll keep at it ‘cause it’s that significant) – whining is WORTHLESS. It saps up precious energy that could be used to make life a scrumptious smoothie. (Loothie? As in life + smoothie? Right, yes, I’m shutting up.)

And even THEN, we find denizens complaining about slow WiFis and thin crust pizzas and how the market’s down and the government’s incompetent. Because blabbering makes us feel important. Heard. But keeping yo’ trap shut and actually doing stuff? Hustling for your dreams when nobody’s watching? Actually walking the talk? C’mon, Emma, don't be naive, ain’t nobody getting recognition for that.

Trust me, I get it. The world is yet to become a feminist, turns out your boyfriend was cheating on you while you were looking up wedding dresses, mommy’s a drunk loser, and idiots are being voted into office. It’s a lot to handle. But thanks to our immense and ever increasing population (we folks really love our rumpy pumpy, can you tell) — there will surely be one chum, facing exactly the same misfortunes as you, but still turning up at every party and bulk-spamming his friends with puppy pictures while you sit and wail. (One Moaning Myrtle is enough, thank you very much.)

Look, I’m not undermining your worries or obstacles. I’m only reminding that you have the marvelous choice of positivity. To CHOOSE hope and a better future when others won't. To FIND (and it's always possible) something to look forward to even when the to-do’s a big snore. To KNOW, deep inside, that you're a magnificent conqueror, no matter what mess you’re in at the moment, and that the world dances to your rhythm. Realise that it's up to you to let yourself be happy. At any moment, you have the very say-so to get up and start rocking. Dumbledore said it himself, “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” So choose better, and you’ll unconsciously do better as well. And yes, that being said, this is the last HP reference, don't fret. Be positive instead. (Edit: Ha, look at these quips, the girl's all grown up now.)

Takeaway: 

Your new occupation is to be a sunflower. If you think back, you'll probably recall Miss Honey rattling on about phototropic movement in AP biology. No? Me neither. Point is, sunflowers always face the sun. Put them ANYWHERE, hide them in the dungeons, throw them in a trash bag and shoot it off to the moon, they’ll still turn around and face the sun. No matter what. And taking inspo from that, you too can stop scripting creative soliloquies for being depressed. Happiness is YOUR right, YOUR priority, don't let anyone take it away from you or diminish its importance. DON’T let sadness ruin your vibe, do what you've gotta do to protect yourself. Track happiness in yo’ journal, set 84 reminders on your phone, and tattoo “Long as you’re beaming up at the sun, all the shadows will be left behind” on your boobs. Do whatever, just don’t turn the corners of your mouth down. You’re so pretty this way.

The other day, I was doing the deathly Plié Alternative Heel Lifts (these names, I swear) and my legs felt dead. Gone. Put to sleep like the Wicked Witch of the East. Now obviously, the timer wasn’t not even halfway done yet, but my cheeks were already flushing red like dear Santa, and NOT because I was high on choco chip cookies. I sighed, and at that point, I was so over giving up. All this while, I’d been whining and protesting because my muscles felt sore, but in that moment, I made up my mind. I bit my lip and kept going. On and on. Keep pulsing, you got it, don't stop, was the mantra I kept chanting.

   Won’t sugarcoat it, I honestly hadn’t died this much since that time Miss Honey buried me alive with trig assignments. My legs were now basically Play-doh and I was shaking, fighting for balance. A few seconds in though, something crazy happened. My legs went numb. My grumbling mind quietened and the pain vanished. That evening, I had the upper hand, not my physical perceptions of myself. I was powerful. Flawless. (Hey Santa, do you even lift bro?) Real talk, I was in the Zone, bitches.

I’m not sure if that was the result of excessive pain or because Wonder Woman’s spirit possessed ma bod, but staying loyal to my love for metaphors, I’ll use the experience to explain what I’m tryna get at here.

   Look, here’s the real deal — if all of the greats gave up the second things got frowny, we probably would have no one to worship. Nix role models, nix inspirations, none to stalk on Insta - we’d all be bumbling about like Sad from the even sadder Emoji movie (no shade, emojis be lit).

And that'd be very sad (pun definitely intended). Hence, cue some tangible ways to boosting your grit, so that you can be your own superhero:

1) Get yo’self a goddamn motto,

2) Know your “Why,”

3) Repeat the cycle till it’s in your blood. Btw, Shawn, if you here, I’m still a single pringl—HEY PAL I SEE YOU, DON'T SCROLL.

Seriously, don't brush these prime steps aside. We're always going for the advanced modes, and deeming these basic levels a waste of time. Well guess what, compadre, YOUR LIFE IS A GODDAMN WASTE O’ TIME IF YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR BASICS RIGHT. Excuse my outburst, but listen. You can’t do a hundred bicep curls on your first workout if you haven't lifted anything more than a crisps packet. Likewise, if you simply jump into Life one day, and decide “ok, here it is, 12 habits to build, sleep schedule to fix, man to ask out, let's go,” you ain't getting nowhere, chum. Start small. Take baby steps. It's clearly not as fun (definitely negates the bragging on Facebook part of it) but it'll stick. You’ll create a consistency that not even Grandma's cake batter can achieve.

1. Talking mottos — For context, a motto that I always mutter (my mom thinks I'm cursing, oh what a bad child) every time I spill milk while making coffee is “Do more. Give more. BE more.” Not only does it help me stay right on track for the rest of the day but it helps me clean up my mess, figuratively and otherwise, or I’d just be sitting in a puddle of spilt milk, cursing adulting for real this time and with more laundry to do.

2. Why you need the Big Why — Owning up, I’m guilty of attempting to learn Welsh for less than 48 hours because I hadn't a single reason to speak the language. A similar thing happened with half of my 2018 resolutions, which had a bunch of rubbish like “Floss daily”, something my eyes got trained to skip because, um, who the hell flosses every day?

Lame humor aside, I still workout almost daily because I have my Why straight. 1) I want to feel good about my body and get closer to the confident badass I envision my future self to be, 2) I simply HAVE to sustain my health to live to build my legacy and fulfill my dreams of opening a bakery at 90 and 3) Because I’m an influencer, and want to walk my talk and be the inspiration people need. Those are the reasons as to why I turn up to my yoga mat everyday, shut my jabbering mind, and keep on pulsing. This “Why” strategy applies to everything. Wanna get outta depression? Why? Wanna lose 20 pounds? Why? Wanna listen to your dentist’s desperate pleadings and floss already? WHY EH? Unless you know your intentions, you’ll give up at the first chance you get to not act on your goals. And watch out, because there'll be a LOT of those.

For me, leaving a legacy behind means more than having a slice of cake or missing a workout because there’s a fun movie playing. Find what's important to YOU, make it your why, and go marry your goals.

3. And then, Repeat — Bear in mind, if you're not living your best life yet, there are NO weekends. NO work-shy days. No weak days, no pick-me-up days, no eat-candy-do-nothing days. Everyday is a damn Monday. EVERYDAY is life or death. Every holy day you wake up is a chance to push your limits, challenge your mindset, and see how far you can go. And every 24 hours, when the cycle starts again, it’s your mission to race to build a stronger, wiser and crazier you.

And who knows, perhaps one day, you and I will just be casually sipping tea in our dream home, laughing at how the milk is still being spilt but knowing, proudly, fiercely, that we’ve come so far, even though there’s still more left to do, more to give and so much more to be.

Takeaway: 

Quit quitting. You're, guaranteed, 20x stronger than you think. I doubted I could go through with the workout, it seemed beyond my present physical capabilities. But I did, because I treated it as life or death. Understand this, the second you start making excuses, for being depressed, for taking an unnecessary day off - you give away your power. You are a very powerful being. You're limitless, capable of everything.

I'm not throwing these words around to make you feel cute, I actually mean AND believe them. There’s so much that's been done already— the iconic four minute mile by Roger Bannister, invention of the light bulb, cars, toothpaste and other junk, people who lost both legs and climbed Mt. Everest, we sent a man to moon in frickin’ 1969 (50 YEARS ago), some ran a 26 mile marathon with zero training, love and hope is still strong in this world, oh let's also add coffee and motivational music— and YOU think you can't finish a workout or get outta depression or meet your idols or marry the man of your dreams or become the artist you wanna be? Ridiculous. Don't give away your power that easily, this ain't no charity shop.

(play ♬) Having personally dealt with unwelcome yet familiar feelings of emptiness quite often, I’ve now reached a point where each bad day is simply a reminder of how long my journey ahead is, and just how badly I want to reach my destination.

We finally near the end of this novel of a post (thanks for sticking around, bud), and my best advice would be this: Rather than wallowing in self pity and throwing one-man parties because your life is so awfully dreadful, know that even when life throws you to the floor, long as you can look up, long as you can read an entire book about defeating depression (cough)– you can GET UP too. Let those emotions of sorrow and frustration blaze up into a roaring, crackling fire that doesn’t consume you, but instead, urges you, fuels you.

Lately, no matter how much shit I go through, how many arguments I tumble into, or how barren my dreams look sometimes, I don’t break down. And no, it wasn't always like this. I never even had aspirations to name two years ago. Six months back, it had become a night routine to cry. Not anymore.

Now, every setback and every failure only pushes me to be stronger and give more than I ever gave. The day I made the decision to Conquer (truly, madly, deeply, with all of my heart) was also the day I said a big, loud ‘fuck you’ to every resistance that was to cross my path. I had finally understood that life was nothing but a battle of WILLS, that it was all in or nothing, and I made up my mind once and for all to NEVER give in to depression, or to society, or to anyone who tells me I cannot make it.

I had conquered depression. There was no looking back now.

Takeaway: 

Here’s something no one will tell you: the key to bringing depression to its knees is seeing it positively. Pretend that it's a friend continuously sending strong, aggressive signals urging you to be happy. And what do you do when a caring friend throws some holy light? You listen, push past your ego, and follow accordingly.

And if that parallel seems unconvincing, here's another one (sup, DJ Khaled. This post is turning musical, sorry): it's scared of you. Depression is scared shit of you. Y'know how bullies are, right? Majorly insecure, self-loathing too perhaps, hardly fans of self love, and always trying to numb all that subconscious pain by inflicting pain on others. Depression has the same instruction manual. Your fears and doubts are your (pathetic) bullies, and depression is the big ol’ crony who does the dirty work for 'em.

Whenever you decide shit this is it, I'm going for it, they go paranoid and try stopping you because they've seen no better. And if they succeed, BOOM, you're depressed, paralyzed, your qualms reigning over you again. Don't let them in. I'll say it a thousand times if I gotta because I want (HAVE) to see you conquer – you're so much stronger than you think you are. You can do so much more than you think. It's all in your head! Don't just sit there, click away, and go back to living a sad life. You’re better than that. DO better than that. You’re meant to freaking CONQUER, straight-up dominate, my pal. Pay heed to that voice craving freedom. You got this. And you better know it.

One thing’s fixed like the (beloved by all) proportionality constants in Physics, you will come across depressing mornings and sluggish evenings even in the future. I assure you. Lots o’ bad hair days in the calendar, sis. But here's what you’ll do: you'll deactivate the miserable thoughts, keep a cool head, remind yourself that this is yet another test (better, rap your new mantra) and USE that hurt, pain, and anger to create a fervor and passion that wreaks havoc on its obstacles and drives you to accomplish EVERYTHING you've ever wanted to do. The easy choice would be to just give up, bellyache about the situation, and want sympathy for your worries. Yet, what you'll never do is… exactly that.

Rule 1) NEVER give up. Stand your ground. Have faith in your strength. Know that you'll have your way soon enough anyway. Rule 2) NEVER complain. All it does is drain your energy, that precious fire you could to high jump your way into the clouds. Makes you a pathetic wimp too, definitely not something you want on a warrior’s resume. Lastly, Rule 3) NEVER seek validation. From anyone. It sure feels nice to be acknowledged and encouraged, but grasp this— this is your journey. YOUR life and YOUR vision. Validation won't get you anywhere, for there'll never be enough of it.

Cuz Marty, if you're tryna bring something new, different, and authentic into this world – you'll most likely be hated on badly, before you'll be loved madly (hi, me a rapper). Learn to invite hate instead—IMPORTANT: hate from others, not yourself. Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the real tea: hate is good. It means you're standing up for something, refusing to fit like a puzzle piece in society, and being UNAPOLOGETICALLY yourself. And it’s certainly a sign that you’re on the right path if you can ignore that hate and stick your tongue out at it.  

Yet another reason to never seek validation is simply this: you have to fight for yourself. In order to meet your own expectations, reach the doorstep of the best version of you, and transform this world, you'll have to go wildly IN. Toil and hammer away. Shut out all the haters and non-believers, listening only to your gut. Importantly, learn to accept the rejection slips, validating yourself not with what Molly says about it being okay, but with the reminder that your time is coming soon. Depend on yourself. Validation will NEVER be enough.

I get it, it's a lot of homework, but perhaps you already realize that it’s THIS work that'll change your life forever. Not “how to not procrastinate, Jesus take the wheel” or “HELLO, life's a mess so here are ten things to do (you won't believe number four!)”. Clickbaits don't work, stop believing that a fancy planner is going to be your savior. There is no rule to making your life a masterpiece. You'll have to get to know yourself and your dreams (journaling, meditation, silent pondering), build the work ethics and the mentality needed (lots of work in this one, yet no strict framework to go about it) and GET GOING.

AND with that firework, I'll begin to slip away now. Again, I won’t say it’s easy, that’s cock and bull. Life’s no fairytale. You will never feel ready to start bringing your dreams to fruition. But, my darling (I’m being so nice yo, follow me), you must. You must force yourself to work for the future you want till it becomes a habit, an obsession. The world badly needs heroes; confident people who can stand for themselves so that others can stare at first, maybe even hate a little, but then follow because they seem unstoppable and are, truthfully, having the most fun at life. YOU'RE one of them. No validation, just plain facts.

You see, conquering is a LOT of blood and sweat (K-pop, anyone? BTS? Lmao, this is me tryna clickbait y'all to read). Even getting up will seem huge when you're just starting out, and this is one long road, dear pal. Still then, I have enough faith in you to hope you don't give into your fears, I hope you willingly chase discomfort, and I hope you find the courage to do all that you want to do, while that heart's still beating.

I hope you conquer. I'll do too, and I'd really like to see some familiar faces during the ride.

Peace, amigo.

A loud ass A/N: And now, we come the most important part of this post. WAKE UP Luke, stop snoring, and take some notes. Remember kids, I won't accept anything but an A.

   If you couldn’t identify yourself throughout this post and currently are scoffing like um woman, that's not really why I'm depressed, hang in there a sec. Yes, you can stop singing It Ain’t Me now. You've a very nice voice by the way.

I'm not a doctor, and I don't have enough exposure to know why so many earthlings are depressed today. HOWEVER, by talking to many, following their stories, watching and reading stuff – I do know with firm conviction that a majority suffers from severe unfulfillment. Don't believe me? A study shows 85% of the working class worldwide hate their jobs. Do you realize what that actually means? EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT of the THREE BILLION PEOPLE employed today, hate being employed in the first place! They do it for prime survival, to sustain themselves. And that's just jobs. I won't scare you, but 50% (yes, HALF, you heard that right) of students HATE going to school. Kids waste SEVEN hours of their life every day going somewhere they dislike, doing something they hate. Who's singing now?

People find themselves trapped in golden handcuffs, taking the paycheck despite the passionless job. They push aside the art and business they love, to become a slave of good ol’ cash. Several surround themselves with negativity and get frustrated when unable to escape the choking (no, not THAT kind again, hello someone pour holy water over this post) atmosphere. An innumerable are forced into taking up courses that they don't care about under parental pressure. The reasons are endless, and I don't think I'll amuse myself listing all the sad excuses.

This has always been the story. Hundreds of influencers have preached the same words I’m tryna put into your head here and you’ll yourself say you’ve heard this a million times. YET, you’re dissatisfied. YET, you feel like crap everyday, feeding yourself the same lie that the next day will be better, that you’ll get up tomorrow– while you let life beat the shit out of you.

That’s why, all of my words, everything you’ve read today - all of that boils down to just one single question. A difficult but necessary choice. Will you let this happen to YOU? Will you, seriously, even after this wild ride together, go back to doing nothing and being nothing? Will you, for real, continue deceiving yourself, sacrifice your happiness for the sake of pleasing everyone else, and remain a statistic on a website?

   (play ♬) If you’re not sure of your answer, read: Look, making you feel guilty is not my intention, because that’s not how this works. I need you to understand instead. Guilt wears off, it’s only understanding that brings about change. So, just for old times’ sake, I’ll rant a bit more (ik, just can’t seem to leave y’all).

You’re so, so young right now. More than half of your life is yet to be experienced. None of this probably makes much impact right now but it will the day you die. Remember, on your deathbed, you won't EVER look back and say, “Damn, wish I'd spent more time at the office. Saved up just one more dollar. Could’ve got that promotion before Amy.” Nay, it won’t even be on the calendar. That day, one foot in the grave, you'll reflect and wonder why the heck you didn’t let yourself be happier. Why you took up that lacklustre, soul-sucking architect job when all you've ever wanted to do is keep laughing. Why you didn't ask your crush out, why you were so afraid to walk up to that audition, because dammit, you could’ve been running your own comedy show by now. Why you dragged around a karaoke machine all this time instead of singing your own song. Why you couldn’t love yourself. Why you submitted. Why.

And the moment you realize that you hadn't lived a life for you, you’ll be crushed. Broken. The arthritis in your grannie joints won't even compare and neither will the mild dissatisfaction you’re feeling right now. Those whys will haunt you, they'll terrorize you, break you. It'll hurt tremendously to know that there isn't a single thing in your long life that you could call completely your own.

 With every death today so many dreams are left unachieved, crazy things left unchecked on the bucket list, and unique potential left unexpressed.

DON'T let that be you. Please. I'm still a mess myself, struggling to reach class on time and studying subjects that aren't exactly fun, when all I want to do is create content (read: fireworks) that is at a level of insanity, influence folks to do better, hold crazy world tours and meet-and-greets to give hugs, and get an adorable puppy so I can create a dogstagram (yes, I'm that mom). Sure, I could declare it's too hard, hang onto small-minded and negative people who whine endlessly, and follow the crowd, getting lost in it, with ease.

But I won’t because I can’t take the burden of those regrets. That painful unrest and discontent that nothing could cure, not drugs, alcohol, buddies, not even true love. For then I’d be just another drone, my controller in the hands of society, forcing me to see the world through its eyes. I can’t give in because I’m scared, terrified even, of wasting away this one life doing the bidding of others- folks who won't even notice when I’m gone.

It’s easy to be depressed and crib your entire life. It’s easy to think you’re worthless and that trying is pointless since nothing ever goes your way.

But perhaps, if you rise, if you simply DECIDE to have the audacity to fight for what you believe in, if you work and focus on becoming better, things will go your way. Life will bend to you, in awe, at your incredible relentlessness. Life will take one look at you, wonder who the fuck is this person? How the fuck are they so incapable of giving up? And back right away. And then perhaps, life will be such a blast for you that depression would become the past you never had.

   I know you can get there, conqueror. It’s time you knew it too.

🌚🌝 Further reading? 🌝🌚

Last Post :— How To Get Back Into The Creative Process – For you, if you're in a creative rut. Get outta it and go create magic!

5 Reasons Why You're Unhappy — To help you identify & cut out CURRENT sources of sadness so that you can spice up yo’ life with some happiness instead. Definitely recommend reading AND implementing.

The Bubble Trap & How To Get Out Of It — One of my classics. Everyone is in one of these 'bubbles’ till they consciously do something about it; that's just how it is. Are you still in one? (Someone teach me marketing, lmao.)

The 5 Biggest Regrets of The Dying (from Greatist) — I LOVED reading this. Pretty much all you need to cut the crap and do meaningful stuff. Read it, memorize it, work it.

++ Want to request a blog post? Leave your request in my ask box! I'll get back to you with a reply, along with the average time I'll need to birth that magical idea.

Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure to have you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, I'd suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.

If you wanna check out my blog, here's a little something about me (y'all know I love the attention). What do I write about? Three arenas I dominate, Work, Lifestyle and Life, they are, my mate! Take your pick!

I post new blog posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if you're into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. I'll be your side pal, cheering you along.✨

And that was it, it's a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know you're pretending to be deaf, but Mom's yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.

And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope you're well, stay strong and go conquer life. ✧

I'm sending you so much love, see you soon.

— Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

[krimto-basi-hahm]

how I became friends with brandon rogers: not clickbait

i’ve been making some more brandon friends on here, and I realized that a lot of y’all don’t know my story. I would love to tell it here! for those of you that don’t know him or care, feel free to scroll past lol

(and this whole story updated to the end of 2018 is available here)

2015/2016

I actually found his channel through his first youtubers react episode in december of 2015, but I clicked away because his videos looked stupid to me, lol. after watching the teens react to try me bench, I clicked on a video for the first time (grandpa hates valentimes) in late june of 2016. I grew obsessed QUICKLY. like, I was a full-blown stan in the matter of a few days. I made my fan account on july 7, 2016. unfortunately, the account was taken down by instagram this year. anyway, I also started a youtube channel and made a video for him for his 28th birthday. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for making this! I was a theater kid too for many, many years!!! I’m glad you’ve been able to find inspiration, never give up on your dreams!! I worked many shirt jobs for 10 years before any success, and would’ve done so for the rest of my life until I did!”

a few months later, I got some friends together and made another video for his 2 million subscriber milestone. he also saw this one and commented:

“Wow, I can’t believe I have such amazing fans who would’ve taken the time to make this for me!! Thank you SO much!!! I’m so happy to hear that people are finding friends through my videos, that’s amazing!!!! ❤️❤️❤️thanks for making this, to all of you!! Much love from the bottom of my heart!!! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!”

the rest of 2016 was pretty boring, so we’ll skip to 2017!!

2017

for those of you that don’t know, playlist live is a 3-day youtube convention in orlando, florida. I begged my mom to go every year since 2014, and she finally let me go this year. this also was the first year brandon attended!! I decided to make him a jar filled with reasons why his fans loved him, and I gave it to him at the event. I met him for the very first time on may 6, 2017 in the lobby at playlist.

our meet-and-great was scheduled for may 7, so we also met then.

the next day coming home, I just assumed he would forget about me and move on. I was wrong! I received this dm from him over facebook messenger:

I was SHOOK!! I felt so happy that I was able to help him that much when he was going through a hard time. anyway, the next thing I did was make the 3 million subscriber special video and 29th birthday video. he only saw the first one and commented:

“Wow, how have I not seen this yet?!? Thank you so much to each of you for making this video for me!!! This really touched me ☺️ thank you!!!!!!!”

in august, he finally accepted my friend request on facebook!! this was insanely cool because he obviously has a much smaller audience there, and I was able to get his attention easier and work towards really becoming his friend. with our facebook friendship, brandon was able to start to get into my personal life, which was really cool. he commented the nicest well-wishes when I came out of surgery and even wished me a happy birthday!! this year was also when I started working on my next present for him: the book of brandon. this book incorporated fan art, letters, and more. I was able to give it to him at playlist live 2018, so you’ll see me mention this later. onto 2018!!

2018

the beginning of the year started off quite strong, with my debate teacher giving us the assignment to write a speech about our hero. I did not hesitate to write a LONG speech about brandon and post it here. he saw it and commented:

“Thank you for this, it touched my heart and I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t seen this video until now!! Feeling the love!!”

a few months later, playlist live 2018 rolled around!! before our meetup on april 28, 2018, I jokingly said to my mom, “what if he was just like, ‘oh hey sophie!’?” sure enough, that is EXACTLY what he said as soon as he saw me! the full video of this meetup can be found here, but I’ll summarize if you’re too lazy to watch it. he immediately thanked me for my speech, obsessed over the book I made for him, and basically talked to me like we were good friends. it was MAGICAL.

I didn’t think I would be seeing brandon again in 2018. well, I was wrong. his tour came around, and he announced a performance in tampa, florida on july 15. I was ECSTATIC. unfortunately, I was out of good sentimental ideas for gifts. I made him a wall calendar full of bad pictures of him, as well as a friendship necklace and a letter. at the show, he was looking for audience participation to come up onstage and act out a “fake date.” when he saw me, he said, “omg, this is one of my biggest fans! miss sophie, I recognize you! please come up here.” I was able to watch his entire show from the stage, and even drank from a glass he took a huge sip out of. at the meet-and-greet, we talked just like good friends once again and he gushed about my gifts and videos. he even bragged about me to my parents!

with august rolling around, I made another video for his 30th birthday. of course, he saw and commented. I think this one was his favorite!

“Awww thank you all SO MUCH for making this!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm incredibly blessed to have friends like each of you. Love you all to the moon and back, thank you for making my birthday that much sweeter! :D And thank you Sophie for taking the time to compile this! Take care!!! EDIT: I just made it to the end of the video. fork. I am feelin more touched than a child in prison. I look at many of you and see a younger me, especially you Sophie. I've always felt like an outcast for most of my life; never thought I'd find so many like-minded people. Thank you all so much for taking the time to do this!!!“

a month later, when I was sick in bed, I got the greatest news. brandon was coming to florida AGAIN! this time on november 25 in ft. lauderdale. I couldn’t believe he would schedule two tour stops in florida! this was also his very last stop, so it was a very special show. still out of big gift ideas, I made him a basket filled with lots of small gifts. at every tour stop, he would do a q&a for 10-15 minutes. as soon as he saw me in the audience while starting the q&a, he said “oh my gosh. this is sophie everyone...” I wish I could remember everything he said, but he mentioned how much I’ve done for him as a fan. even though he wasn’t planning on bringing anyone up onstage, he asked me to come onstage with him and help him with the q&a. brandon gave me the power of picking who he would come to in the audience, as well as asking me to answer some of his questions and really including me through the whole process. he even told me he would love to have me in a video!!! pure magic. I have clips of video from this show, so dm me if you would like to see them!!

the last thing that happened in this year was him wishing me a happy birthday again. onto 2019!!

2019

the main thing I’ll be talking about in 2019 is playlist live because that’s the main interesting event of this year so far. a few days before the event, rachel williams (his manager) gave me her phone number to coordinate with them to hang out there!! I made him a big gift bag because I was STILL out of ideas for bigger gifts. on march 2, we had our meetup. he asked the meetup attendant if he could have some extra time with me because I’m “one of his biggest fans”. he then proceeds to tell me...

“I got something for you!”

WHAT? he gives me the gift, and I give him his. we talk briefly before the attendant ushers me along. the two other people there were jon cozart and mac kahey, who both said to me “oh YOU’RE sophie! brandon was telling us all about you!” WHAT? it was a lot to process.

I open the gift and see that he has given me THE shirt BOOK from stuff & sam, THE HEART from blame the hero, a stuff & sam shirt, and a card!!! WHAT? again, a lot to process.

unfortunately, I never got to hang out with brandon and rachel because I got really sick the next day. however, they were both so understanding and carved out a few minutes to see me before I left!!

overall, this year, we have become a lot more comfortable with each other both in person and online, really talking just like friends. I am so incredibly grateful for him and everything he has done over the years.

omg thank you for reading all of this!! dm me to talk or gush about brandon or be friends whatever man love y’all!!

[femslashy]

2018 fic year in review

thank you so much for tagging me @homosociallyyours !! this was really fun (and also a bit hard haha) to do ^__^

1. number of stories (including drabbles) posted to ao3: 19 (6 100 word seasonal drabbles, and out of the rest 4 are under 1k and 2 are chaptered but one of those is still a WIP)

2. word count posted for the year: 142,383 which is def more than i’ve written in previous years but my initial goal for this year was 200k and then i lowered it to 150k and then decided i should focus less on word count and more on actually finishing the fics lmaooo

3. list of works posted this year in order of posting:

the tesco fic (although i didn’t make the tumblr post until recently)

three spring drabbles (100 words each)

begin again [timestamp] (my only snowbaz fic in 2018)

we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown

SPHERICAL

got me an appetite, now i can taste it

Take a Chance on Me

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT)

my favourite colour is you

louis tomlinson’s completely 100% foolproof guide to snagging the fit bloke next door (3 100 word drabbles)

no better place than right by your side

days gone by (WIP)

love the cronch

zero to sixty

where the love light gleams

4. fandoms i wrote for: mostly one direction and by that i mean i posted a timestamp for a carry on fic from 2017 and the rest was one direction lol

5. pairings: harry/louis, simon/baz (ONCE)

6. story with the most hits: Take a Chance on Me with 10975 hits :o

7. story with the most kudos: Take a Chance on Me with 426 kudos

8. story with the most comments: Take a Chance on Me with 52 comments threads

9. work i’m most proud of and why: well Take a Chance on Me was both my first time doing a big bang as well as the longest thing i’ve ever written (twice the length of the previous longest!) and i’m still completely in love with the art for it courtesy of @vulpixlou and i def don’t go back to stare at it ever nope 👀👀

10. work i’m least proud of and why: i mean i could nitpick the hell out of my stuff and i know there are certain bits i would write differently now but at the same time i created something with my brain that didn’t exist before and that’s just too cool not to be proud of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:

this is from Take a Chance on Me (shocker) and i was having trouble thinking of my fave but then i was skimming through all of my fics and ngl i had forgotten about this bit but y’all i’ve been trying to work a Dramatic Airport Reunion into a fic FOR FUCKING EVER and i finally did it and i actually don’t hate it? (spoiler for the ending of Take a Chance on Me)

“See…” Louis starts. “See, there’s this guy. And, oh god, he’s an absolute twat. Wanna know what he did to me?” Harry nods faintly, and Louis, emboldened now, goes on. “So, I already knew who he was, right? I knew him, because he’d been in this god-awful boy band for years, and even if me bloody sisters hadn’t been so bloody in love with him, I’d still have known him, because he was just that famous.”

“I wasn’t that famous.”

“Don’t interrupt,” Louis chastises, and Harry mimics zipping his lips. “So this guy, I knew him, but he didn’t know me, but, fucking hell, I think someone forgot to tell him that, because there I was, minding my own business, when this kid just…” Louis giggles then, because the memory is just so ridiculous, “he just starts fucking singing to me, can you believe it?”

Harry shakes his head. “What a weirdo.”

“Right? The weirdest.”

“What happened next?”

“I fell in love with him.”

“What? That soon?”

“Of course not, Jesus, Harold. I’m not that pathetic. I waited the appropriate amount of time to fall in love, thank you very much.”

“Is that why you’re here, then?” Harry whispers. “Is it because you love him?”

“That’s part of it, yeah. I love him, and I love the way we just fit, and I adore his daughter, and our pets are friends now, and I think our sisters are best friends now, so they didn’t actually give me a choice, but do you want to know the biggest, most important reason?”

Harry nods quickly, so hard his chin bumps his chest, and Louis’ so fucking in love with him at that moment that these are the easiest words he’s ever said.

“I’m here,” he tells Harry, “because I was lying in my own bed, in my own house, surrounded by all my things, and all I wanted to do was go home.”

He’s yanked forward then, Harry’s fingers digging into his shoulders, and he barely feels the pain because it’s Harry, and everything’s good when it’s Harry. He’s babbling into Louis’ neck, and the only words he can make out are his name and “love you” and he shivers with the feeling.

Harry’s hair has grown out enough since the night Louis snuck in to see him that he can tangle his fingers in the strands. So he does, pulling Harry’s face away from his neck and pressing their lips together. Every kiss feels like an apology. Every kiss feels like home.

12. share or describe a favorite review you recieved: so this miiiiight be cheating but i received two comments on a fic i wrote in 2015 and it was kind of a surprise that something that old still held up and people still enjoy it? def made me feel better about my current writing and also anyone who quotes my fics back to me has earned my undying love and affection

13. a time when writing was really, really hard: i have adhd so p much always ahahaha

14. a scene or character you wrote that most surprised you: the entirety of “we’re swimming with the sharks until we drown” ngl because i struggled with the like… morally gray criminal-y elements? and portraying the two of them in such a different way while still staying in character which i like to think i nailed? hopefully lol

15. how did you grow as a writer this year? i don’t feel like a i have? but i’m also bias and hypercritical so maybe i did and just didn’t realize ahaha

16. how do you hope to grow next (this?) year: i want to enjoy writing again and i want to finish more fics and not let them rot in my docs because of self-doubt

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer: okay so first @amandaisnotwriting is the real MVP as she bears the brunt of my whining/complaining/drama queen moments as well as the fact that she listens (some would argue is forced to :p) and reads over fic for a pairing she doesn’t ship for a fandom she doesn’t care about 😂😂😂

@rainbowbaz always makes time to look over my fics even when she’s crazy busy and is honestly amazing and saves my fics from americanisms ahahaha

and FINALLY we met p late in the year but but @livingatthelairport ‘s comment on “the tesco fic” helped me out of a writing slump and now she’s become my cheerleader (and friend 💜) and that’s make a huge difference in my attitude towards writing! it’s also easier to write a fic for a specific person than worry about the opinion of a crowd which is def something i’ve been missing in this fandom rip

also to everyone else who has read my fics, listened to me rant about them or just helped the process along in any way at all this is a GIANT thank you!!

18. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? i mean i can’t think of anything off the top of my head but a lot of my inspo comes from the world around me so probably lol

19. any wisdom you can share with other writers: there’s nothing wrong with feeling jealous of other writers because i’m not a fan of hiding feelings just because they’re ugly as long as you don’t let it fester and turn into resentment or make you bitter. there are a lot of factors that go into a fic becoming “big” in a fandom but honestly most of it is just random chance so don’t beat yourself up because someone else’s success is not your failure and it’s nice to get recognition for your hard work but if you’re writing solely for the feedback then you’re writing for the wrong reason and that will lead to the resentment and bitterness mentioned earlier

also if you compliment someone you say you like their outfit but if you complement someone then you complete them

20. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’M GLAD YOU ASKED

these are all the things i didn’t start and/or finish in 2018 that WILL be completed this year

the cat fic

the doctor fic

the final three chapters of days gone by

penpal AU

Space. Florist.

teenage fanboys who are also best friends

baking blog fic

a short follow up to tacom

twitter drama fic

80’s/’high school’/secret admirer!AU

something based on yawning grave by lord huron

part three of the alien harry series

chocolate orange holiday fic

LA fic (wtwm)

70’s fic

monkey fic

i’m also planning to do the @larryabroad challenge again because i had so much fun with it last time :D

21. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:

p sure everyone has done this but if you haven’t then do it now! and also tagging @cosyblack k bc you’ve had a really good year even if i have beta bias 😂

this took waaay longer than i thought it would omg but it was nice to take a look back!!

[jusdisslotus]

Why bringing all of the attention to Tord is a bad thing

I'm just gonna put this out there-

Make all of the speculations on Tord that you want, about why he's gone and shit-

But do not state it like it's FACT:

Because when you title posts like this

And then end it like this

It looks like you don't even know what you're talking about and just clickbaited so that everyone could listen to your crazy conspiracy theory.

And you know what's even worse?

A lot of people believe you

I've seen people (probably children from ages 9-15) repost your garbage with a comment like "omg I'm crying so hard...who would do this to poor old Tordy? 😭I wanna beat em up and chop their arms off so nobody can send anything bad to him ever again! 😡"

People keep reposting and it keeps getting more and more attention, more and more people believe it and you aren't even sure if it happened.

Another thing I've seen is that someone has told you that Tord is out there somewhere on the internet in the present where he's active. Yet, you still want to pester him in your posts by saying "please come back out Tord, your art is amazing...please..."

Don't you think he would've done that by now if he wanted to?

What if he's happy now? What if he doesn't want to come back? Who're you to keep bothering him to come back and make himself known to this horrible fandom? What if he's living his dreams outside of the internet?

It's been more than half a decade since he vanished off of the face of the earth

Let.It.Go.

-stop bringing up old screenshots like they're still relevant

-do not note him on DeviantArt

-do not pester him to come back out into the public

-do not present this faulty evidence like it actually 100% happened

And most importantly (for those reading this)

DO NOT TAKE EVERYTHING AT FACE VALUE

Triple check all of this evidence and look at it closely, then ask yourself if it proves anything. And by prove I mean actually prove and not just have speculations made off of it.

That's all for tonight

Goodnight ✌️

[lieberts]

@klavoir replied to your post “@klavoir replied to your post “*vigurously nods at all your thoughts...”

!!!!! EXACTLY. Like it‘s not about how they‘ll make the animation ‚better‘ esp with how advanced everything is these days (like if there ever is a remake they‘d 100% use CGI and things like that) but that‘s really not it? It‘s exactly the traditional art itself that makes it authentic and classy that it doesn‘t have to be remade? Like, remaking it would just ruin the whole setting, feel and atmosphere the whole work has.... oh and also!! I‘d recommend reading Pluto first - - and see how it goes since it‘s a lot shorter than 20thCB :0 I hope you enjoy it!! (There should be an anime adaptation of it tho this year but no news until now T_T) omfg WHAT ??? I NEVER KNEW he was underpaid when working for this show? GOD I swear........ heck why.... esp when it was so popular and well made I‘m. It‘s their lost tho yeah but still we could have had it all 😭 ugh imagine a sequel where Sybil is finally being taken down aft yrs aft s1 (& the potential parallels!!!!!) 😭 why

ALSO FJSNYJ LMAO ABOUT KOUGAMI i was trying not to be Biased (ik it wasn‘t a fanservice bc like literally all of us are waiting for him to comeback!! Esp after that s2 opening clickbait smh) his and Akane‘s reunion really hit hard gOD. We were being fed So Well with that movie

djkfhdfhdsf miss me with that cgi shit, i genuinely think that type of animation is so ugly like... yeah i know its easier and cheaper and im not supposed to be shallow and judge the quality of a movie based on how it looks, but it just irks me so much i unapologetically will not watch cgi stuff unless im 100% sure its a masterpiece, i simply cannot...... and the constant fuckign movie remakes oh my goddd society has progressed past the need for movie remakes theyre literally never good

alright, im gonna read pluto first! i have free time at the moment and im not reading anything else, so i might as well FINALLY do it. i know i will like it, i mean its urasawa so?? im sure its gonna be great but im just so lazy when it comes to starting something new it takes me ages to finally sit down and start lmao

godddddd a real pp sequel had such potential because the worldbuilding was done SO WELL in s1 imo and the system wasnt portrayed as a cliche cartoon villain but rather as a thing with genuinely good and genuinely bad sides so the whole conflict about whether it should be destroyed and what the consequences wouldve been was so so so good i cannot believe we will never see this........ and i knowww omg i really love the two of them together (not in the least bit as a romantic pairing tho) and it was such a pleasure to see how much they affected each others character development ugh this show bro