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offtoljubljana · 5 years ago

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84. Heropening van het centrum

3/05/2020

Ja, ben ik weer, maar zoals ik al eerder zei, zijn er goede video's in quarantaine. De eerste die ik nu deel is van Legally Blonde: The Musical (ja, Legally Blonde heeft een musical versie en voor mijn ontdekking van rock musicals was het mijn favoriete musical) en het is het opening nummer, maar met nieuwe tekst. Nu zingen de leden van Delta Nu over het ontsmetten van je handen en eigendommen.

Wow, Laura Bell klinkt nog steeds goed.

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OMIGOD YOU GUYS, DON’T FORGET TO SANITIZE.

WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS, KIDS!

En nu terug naar nieuwe bullshit. What bullshit am I back on today? Panic! At The Disco. Ik was gisteren al “back on my bullshit”, nadat ik eindelijk na bijna 2 jaar een hele video van Panic! en Hayley Kiyoko heb gevonden, maar nu nog meer bullshit.

Een concert werd opgenomen en laatst gereleased voor fundraising voor Corona. Ik had geen idee, want ik heb mijn collectieve fandom dagen achtergelaten. I’m just swimming, ik let niet op wat er om me heen gebeurd. Daarom wist ik ook niets van de Six video, ondanks het feit dat het één van mijn favoriete musicals is.

Dus hey, hier, een gratis Panic! At The Disco concert voor tijdens de quarantaine.

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Vier nummer hebben “the final cut” niet gehaald (ben alleen teleurgesteld dat Death of a Bachelor er niet meer is), maar goede kwaliteit video en audio.

Zoals ze in Slovenië zeggen: #ostanidoma

***

4/05/2020

Ik blijf goed binnen.

Dit was mijn avond gisteren. Ik heb ook weer die kruidenpasta gevonden. Het was dus nasi goreng.

Dat was 3 mei.

En nu is het 4 mei, bevrijdingsdag. Gisteren heb ik Bandstand geluisterd en dat had ik eigenlijk vandaag moeten doen. Ach. In plaats daarvan luister ik naar de Where did those minutes go? playlist, een playlist voor lange musical nummers (en woah, we beginnen met Bandstand met Just Like It Was Before, het einde van de Tweede Wereldoorlog. Dat is toevallig).

Morgen had het land moeten feesten, maar ja, Corona.

Corona in Slovenië neemt weer af. Op zondag waren er ook geen nieuwe besmettingen, dus dat is goed. Op 4 maart kwam de eerste besmetting en op 4 mei is er niets.

In Slovenië is vandaag de dag dat van alles weer open gaat. Ik heb net boodschappen gedaan en ik moest oprecht lachen van geluk toen ik mensen op een terras zag zitten. De Spar is namelijk naast een druk cafeetje en het was heel lang leeg en nu dus niet meer.

Ook de beautysalon tegenover ons huis heeft de deuren weer open.

Het is ook mooi weer buiten en natuurlijk leer ik nooit van mijn fouten, want ik had mijn wintertrui aan. In mijn kamer is het namelijk koud en ik weet dat mijn kamer kouder is en toch ging ik met mijn warme kleding de wijde wereld in.

Toen ik naar buiten liep, stonden twee grote koffers voor de voordeur. Barbara’s koffers zijn aangekomen. Gelukkig kwam één van de Finse dudes (met een vrouw oh hallo) net aan, zodat hij één koffer voor mij kon dragen. Hij was nog nooit verder geweest dan de eerste verdieping, dus hij vroeg ook constant “another floor?” yeah man, ik woon op de bovenste verdieping. Het opruimen van Barbara’s kamer kan ook wel even wachten.

Maar dus toen ging ik boodschapjes doen en het was mega rustig. Misschien zijn de mensen die boodschappen doen, nu de wijde wereld in getrokken.

De boodschappen doen is genoeg voor vandaag. Ik weet dat dit een goed moment is om weer eens te gaan kijken in het centrum, maar ik had vanochtend les en in een uur heb ik ook weer les. Misschien morgen of overmorgen, want dan is het rustiger.

(Discovering Daniel/Pray van Once On This Island is intens.)

Ik ben alleen vergeten om te checken of de fietsband nu echt kapot is.

Wel irritant. Vorige week had ik het gevoeld dat alles nutteloos was, want alle dagen werden een grote blob en nu dat de winkels weer open zijn, heb ik een drukke week met studie.

Hoera, studie!

Vanochtend had ik een kleine 20 minuten lange les van MC, want mensen vroegen de leraar dus om meer uitleg. Ik weet nog steeds niet wat ik ga analyseren en ik heb ook nog minimaal 5 wetenschappelijke bronnen nodig.

Leraar MC: “This is also applicable to the people from other universities, but do not use a paper you’ve already written for another subject!”

En toch zit ik eraan te denken om een opdracht van Addy als uitgangspunt te gebruiken. Helaas is het ook plagiaat als je jezelf plagieert, maar als ik mezelf quote, is het niet meer erg. Ah, wetenschap!

Jonathan de Ier gaat kijken of het over cinematografie in animatie kan en nu ben ik jaloers, want dat is zo’n goed idee voor Avatar: The Last Airbender, een animatie show met veel symbolische cinematografie, maar ik wil zijn onderwerp niet pikken. Toen stelde hij voor om het over Vine te schrijven, maar ik weet niet of ik daar genoeg bronnen voor heb.

(Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812′s The Opera is... ook intens.)

***

(Matilda’s Miracle is oké. Het is 10 minuten lang en ik denk niet dat ik het af ga luisteren.)

Kijk, ik heb mijn verwarming nog meer gepimpt.

Ik heb misschien meer magneten nodig.

22:48 en een paar uur later. Barbara belde iets meer dan een uur geleden over de koffers. Ik vroeg of ze niet zelf kon komen, aangezien de grenzen tussen Kroatië en Slovenië misschien snel weer open gaan, maar nee. Ze zit nog steeds op een eiland en daar kan ze niet van af. Het eiland heeft geen ziekenhuis. Yay.

De fietsband is dus kapot volgens Sophia. Ik heb Ana gevraagd waar ik het beste de fiets kan laten repareren.

(Nobody Needs To Know van The Last Five Years is zeer hartverscheurend, maar ik kan ook niet echt sympathiseren met Jamie aangezien hij vreemd is gegaan. Hij is helemaal aan het zingen over hoe slecht de relatie met Cathy en ik denk dan: ... then don’t fucking cheat, asshole, lick your damn wounds 🤷🏻‍♀️.)

Sanne heeft ook eindelijk een mogelijk onderwerp voor MC. Climbing uphill. Mijn originele opdracht voor Addy is gelukkig in het Nederlands geschreven, dus ik voel me een stuk veiliger om mijn oude opdracht te gebruiken als uitgangspunt.

Het is normaal niet mijn intentie om een slacker te zijn, maar ik moet nog zoveel werkstukken schrijven dit semester, dus als ik een makkelijke oplossing kan vinden voor één paper, dan neem ik die. Als ik de tijd en zin had gehad, dan had ik waarschijnlijk weer over glee geschreven.

Maar zelfs dan wordt dit nog tijdrovend, want het moet ongeveer 10 pagina’s lang zijn.

(Nu we het toch over Legally Blonde hebben: What You Want is goed.)

Ik moet nog twee werkstukken van ongeveer 7 pagina’s schrijven voor B&T. Ik moet ook nog twee kritiekstukken van ongeveer 3 pagina’s schrijven voor Sociologie en ook nog een eindwerkstuk van ongeveer 8 pagina’s. Dus dan ook nog dit MC werkstuk van ongeveer 10 pagina’s. Dat zijn 37 pagina’s. Denk ik. Ik kan niet hoofdrekenen.

Bruh, ik ben gewoon al blij dat ik dus een normaal examen krijg voor GLINT. De leraar gaat kijken of hij het digitaal kan afnemen, anders wordt het een mondeling.

Verder is een bepaalde duivel terug van weggeweest: Methoden A.

Yup. That bitch still lives.

Ik kon de herkansing dus niet doen in Nederland, maar wegens Corona heeft die herkansing dus niet plaatsgevonden. Ik heb Esther gemaild of ik alsnog mee kon doen, indien mogelijk. Als de herkansing digitaal is, kan ik het op afstand doen (... nu ineens wel). Esther zei dat Peer ergens volgende week meer informatie geeft.

Dus hoera, ook nog Methoden A. Het wordt druk, druk, druk. Het enige fijne aan werkstukken is dat je zelf het werk goed kan verdelen. Daarom ben ik normaal fan van vakken dat een werkstuk als laatste tentamen hebben, maar zoveel bij elkaar + Methoden A? Yikies.

En ik wil alle punten halen, maar om eerlijk te zijn laat ik één vak mogelijk zakken als het betekent dat ik Methoden A kan halen. Gelukkig heb ik me opgegeven voor meer vakken dan nodig.

(Mijn favoriete Natasha, Pierre & The Great Comet of 1812 nummer! The Abduction!)

Ik had het er met Sanne over: gelukkig is de RU niet zo streng met studiepunten halen in het buitenland. Alsnog, andere Nederlandse universiteiten eisen een aantal behaalde punten, maar als ik hier niet alles haal, heb ik volgend jaar nog.

No worries, ik ben niet van plan om expres af te zwakken, maar het geeft gewoon rust dat het niet het einde van de wereld is als ik het niet allemaal haal. Het geeft ook meer rust met Methoden A.

Dus ja, maandag en meteen begint het academische deel van mijn leven weer.

Anyway, have yet another cat.

#blog post #may #84

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whatevenismyaestheticidk · 5 years ago

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Things I’ve heard high schoolers say pt 2

Person 1: But air doesn’t splash Person 2: How do we know that, Im splashing the air right now.

Person: Prove me wrong. Prove fish can’t see air.

Person: I think you underestimate just how poor I am.

Person: I just invented a new thing. No Romo. Like no homo but with romance cause I’m lonely. Get it?

Person: So yah I burned my hair cooking ramen.

Person: Well I figured he wasn’t an adopted iguana.

Person: Say it. You know god is watching.

Person 1 upon heading the news of George Bush’s death: Wait he’s still alive? Person 2: No he’s dead that’s the point.

Person: I got it. *five second pause* no I don’t got it.

Person 1: My name is (name), but you can call me yours. Person 2: Okay nice to meet you yours.

Person: Don’t drink it all fool.

Person: Bruh you could literally turn in a gay fanfic and he’d give it an A.

Person: Bruh, what is this triangular accusation?

Person 1:It’s call physics. Person 2: Yah but I don’t take Physics hence they should not apply to me.

Person 1: Discreet. Person 2: No discr-yeet *dabs*

Person 1: Be impressed with my ability to bull shit. Person 2: I mean, it’s gotten you this far.

Person: Why do I feel like finals are lowkey Russian roulette? Like okay I made it through most of them but I still have a few pulls of the trigger to go and one of them might get me.

Person 1: Murder. Just do it. Person 2: I didn’t know that nike was sponsoring murder.

Person: How do mermaids reproduce if they’re just like conjoined legs?

Person 1: Frozen Yogurt Person 2: Fro yo Person 1: Frozen YOgUrt Person 2: Fro Yo Person 1: FROZEN YOGURT

Person: All I have to do to commit suicide is jump from my parents expectations to my grades.

Person 1: I mean yah I cheated on that test. Person 2: Man your love life it DOOMED!

Person: I was seeing if I was tripophobic by repeatedly stabbing my finger with my pen.

Person: You do know that crickets exist during the day right?

Person 1: Hey (person 2), we’re friends right? Person 2: ….. What do you want. Person 1: You know, that sandwich looks real good. *person 2 hand them the sandwich* OMIGOD THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!

Person: Omigod (person’s name) is going through puberty!

Person: If you pulled my ear I would have ripped out your nostril.”

Person 1: She’s attacking me! Person 2: No, he’s beating a woman, that’s not polite.

Person 1: I know many things! Person 2: like what? Person 1: ..... Person 2: my point.

Person: My shoes will be sparkly red stilettos. Fight me Dorothy.

Person: umm hello Christmas miracle even though I’m not Christian. Come at me 15 years from now!

Person 1: you’d make a really good baldie Person 2: yah you have a really rest head shape

Person: you know teletubbies? Yah that but compressed.

Person 1: I mean how will you become American? Person 2: paint me white, I’ll get a passport.

Person 1: I’m so funny. Person 3: it’s hard not to be when your life is a joke.

Person 1: So I’ve decided that my new career choice is to make school specific memes Person 2: That's Plan A? Yeash... at least Plan B lands you some cash

Person: I’m so small and bitter I’m like a human expresso

Person: You know what I’d name a baby kangaroo if I had one? David Jowie.

Person: I’m just saying that the orange red glitter crayon is you.

Person: I feel like a 1940’s schoolgirl who goes to an all girl finishing school where embroidery is a required class.

Person: I started high school with straight A’s, now I’m not even straight.

Person: Yeah, I’d swear by comic sans.

Person: (Persons name)stop being depressy and you’ll be more sucessy

Person: You can totally be insecure and self absorbed at the same time.

Person 1: Are you kids okay? Person 2: Besides crippling depression yeah.

Person: I don’t know it’s just giving me pig vibes.

Person: What drugs where the animators for “Pink Elephants on Parade” on?

Person: long story short I make like a semi hot guy.

Person: If I where pregnant id just be like 'you put this thing inside of me, you're helping me until it's out.'

Person: These girls asked me what type of guys I like and being the simple gay I am, I completely blanked

Person 1: why do you read on your phone if you get carsick at 20 minutes? Person 2:Because it works for the first 19 minutes.

Person: Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a bar. Just kidding they aren't old enough to drink. Three Indians, a Thai, a Colombian, and an American walk into a school cafeteria...

Person: I can't do alcohol cause I'm not of age but I can do drugs because they're illegal for everyone.

Person 1: you can't have a breakdown, it's the third day of school. Person 2:... so?

*Group of kids singing Bohemian Rhapsody in twelve different keys* Person: For gods sake choose a key!

Person: For gods sake that was complicated. You didn't need to send out a survey to see which episode of which season of which show to watch.

Person: Honestly I'd chose stab over dab any day.

Person 1: She said she'd throw me out of the window. Person 2: She never did. Person 1: She never did.

Person: What language is this? *pause* Oh wait it's English.

Person 1: I mean it's pretty hit or miss. Person 2 from across the courtyard: I guess they never miss, huh?

Person: Chu-chu bitch. I’m a train.

Person after loosing game of kahoots: I’m going to ka-shoot myself.

Person: So basically I need to learn Hungarian for a song.

Person: No one screams their sneeze, its not human

Person: If I where a mosquito I would bite you and you’d get malaria and die.

Person: That tide pod aesthetic.

Person: No I loved Barney, Barney was my bo.

Person: If I where my own boyfriend I’d dump me.

Person: It's already a really good song but then it's dubstep so it's extra good.

Person: No one is EVER to old for coolmathgames.com

Person 1: Why are you using a poon? Person 2:….. Person 1: WHY ARE YOU USING A POON?!

Person 1: I’ve been blonde for 16 years. Person 2: So what? I’ve been brown for 16 years and you don’t see me coloring myself white!

Person: Yes. Scrape the sweat off my hand.

Person: No one cares about a square cube of water.

Person: We’re melanin intoxicated.

Person: Well my life may be a mess, but at least I’m not doing drugs. Yet.

Person: Negative 13 out of 10, do not recommend.

Person: Yah that’s gunna have to be a no from me.

Person: Fool me once......fool me twice.......fool me as many times as you want, my first name is dumbass.

Person 1: Ya know, I think the Americans have the order of dates right JUST BECAUSE you can do 4/20/2019. Person 2: Okay but they’re still wrong though.

Person with AirPods: And where are YOUR AirPods? Thats what I thought you broke bitches.

Person: Salem witch trials bitches.

Person: La Croix, the AirPods of the soda world.

Person: Who needs a thermometer when you have… your hands!?

Person 1: It’s time to bring back SEXY MASQUERADE BALLS Person 2: It really is. I need an excuse to wear an incredibly uncomfortable dress that's so big I can't even walk through doorways. Person 1: And to wear a swan inspired mask that doesn’t cover enough of my face to deem myself totally anonymous enough to be half as bold and daring as i plan on acting that night but everyone else is on board we’ll all just forget about it the next day. Person 2: That's to specific for you to have made up on the spot, you've thought about this.

Person: It was lady Macbeth that drugged and made the guards drunk, without her Macbeth would just be like “I guess I’ll stab him???” Person: It’s like playing where’s Waldo but the page is India and I’m Waldo.3Person: Why are there so many frowny faces everywhere?

Person: This group chat is weird. It's either homework, deep philosophical conversations, or memes, there's no in between.

Person 1: Honestly, where DID it come from Person 2: The endless abyss that is the internet.

Person: Are you really blaming our generational depression on Jake Paul?

Person 1: Oh. My. God. Guys. Keep your carbon dioxide away from my computer. Person 2: But sharing is caring. Person 1: But my computer doesn’t need this kinda of negativity in its life right now.

Person: Sweetie, if you think I’m going to stop wearing my favorite dress just because you kissed me in it, you are dead wrong.

Person with a metal straw: I don't drink broke.

Person: My whole life has become that sock on the floor. It's just there. When did life screw us over and then just ex? I’m just gonna write a book, and the last sentence will be life screwed them over and then exed. A story of the main character who gets screwed over, so I can get that 'it be like that sometimes' reaction.

Person in group chat: Positivity- I will make you feel better about being an idiot. Self Doubt- I will highlight all of your mistakes and set low standards for you so you'll never be disappointed. Me to Self Doubt- I'm listening...

Person 1: Sadly the disappointment never goes away... Person 2: Man we're a sad lot this time of year.

Person 1:It’s almost my favorite time of the year Person 2:Ahh yes. Singles awareness day, also known as chocolate sales at Walgreens eve, also known as... Valentine's Day. Person 1:... Oh... I meant rainy season.

Person: Being antivax is like swimming in shark infested waters because you're afraid the bridge could break lmao.

Person: I learned how eat a kumquat this weekend.

Person: It’s so sticky. It’s like clear cheese.

Person: Hamburger helper? More like hamburger help me pass this class.

Person 1: So I slipped on a grape… Person 2: You got K.O.’ed by a grape (person’s name), how does it feel.

Person 1: Look at me, I’m fine. Person 2: Well how many drugs did you take. Person 1: Several.

Person 1: Did you just say it’s ALMOST FEBRUARY? Person 2: Yes, it’s January 72nd.

Person: I knew your comedic standards where low, but poop jokes? Really?

Person: What? So are you insinuating the fact that reliablest isn't a word?

Person 1: [bitter old man voice] back in my day, tik tok was a kesha song. Person 2: Back in my day we had wires attached to our AirPods.

Person: There's a reason rainbows aren't straight. Just saying.

Person reading sheet music and seeing mf crescendo: I forgot that mezzo forte was a thing for a second so I thought it said mother fucker as a crescendo but mood

Person: He looks like a fine piece of toasted white bread.

Person: If life hasn't given me a fist bump by now, why should I give life one?

Person: we all died in 2012 this is hell.

Person 1: Who wants a pamphlet on condoms? Person 2: Why do you have this? Do you collect them? Person 1: Yah it’s my hobby. I have this one, one on HIV and one on teenage pregnancy.

Person: We live a society where reading about assassins and gory details is a hobby.

Person: Stop breathing so loudly on my thumb!

Person 1: I’m the comic relief. Person 2: For what? Person 1: Myself.

Person1: Who’s your valentine this year? Person 2: Me, myself and I. Person 1: Wow three valentines, you really can’t keep them away can you?

Person: Why do women gotta get their period, why not men. I wish I was born a seahorse.

Person 1: No we can’t all fit, her car is smol. Like you. Person 2: Says you miss 5 foot nothing lmao. Person 1: Hey we’re the same hight so says you miss 5 foot nothing.

Person: No, that’s cheating no emotionally disabling people.

Person 1: Why is it that we’re talking about someone burning eggs on two different group chats. Person 2: Hey I didn’t burn them. Person 3: Cause why not?

Person 1: That’s not how an Australian accent works. Person 2: This is why I’m not Australian, I don’t have the koala-fications.

Person 1: I’m Indian, numbers run through my blood. Person 2: That’s like saying I’m going to marry my cousin just because I’m white.

Person: So I ate veggies and hummus for lunch but then I counterbalanced it by eating a spoon full of straight Nutella.

Person: Seagulls, California Pigeons, what’s the difference?

Person 1: I humbly apologize and request your forgiveness. Person 2: I humbly decline your request for forgiveness.

Person: I think I’m permanently stuck somewhere between “If you mess with me I’ll fight” and “If you mess with me I’ll cry.”

Person 1: It was implied! Person 2: What’s implied is your inability to accept that fact that I’m right!

Person 1: I got lazy because I was eating Pringles. Person 2: She values Pringles more than me.

Person: Yo, you be the crazy ex girls they be talking about in memes.

Person: I swear (persons name) if I hooked up with squidward in your dream your subconscious and I need to have a little talk.

Person: You get to die, and you get to die! Everybody gets to die!

Person: How do you just add a child?

Person 1: Look at this ink based pencil. Person 2: A pen?  Person 1: This egg is all broken. Person 2: It’s like you then, you both broke under the pressure.

Lakshmi: Don’t force your opinion, voice it.

Person 1: If I where a fruit, which one would I be? Person 2: Sushi. Person 1:… Sushi isn’t a fruit.

Person: I mean it’s not straight up “Yo come here I’m gunna kill you.”

Person: Bye gays, bye (other girls name).

Person 1: No (person B) stop. Just shut up. You’re making me loose brain cells. Person 2: But… Person 1: No. Just no.

Person: Stop. That is non-consensual pizza eating.

Person 1: Cheese is not a vegetable! Person 2: Well it’s not a meat either! Person 3: Guys… It’s dairy.

Person: Idiots have priority over just regular dumb people

Person: God melted the polar ice caps just to make it rain for Noah then refroze them. I don’t know (kids name) I’m not god!

Person: You and I will go out, and leave them to their raw fish rolled in sea salad.

Person: Does anyone else get really energized when they change their room? Just me? Okay.

Person: I hope you know I will diss you guys to the end of the earth.

Person: Bruh talk to (person’s name) I don’t know sh… *notices teacher looking at her*…niahhh.

Person 1: The thing is, I don’t want to be 80 that’s rough. Person 2: Then just die at 50.

Person: You’d be scrambled eggs with hair.

Person: Seeing you two fighting, it’s like seeing a piece of light fighting a black hole.

Teacher: What can you tell me about probability? Student 1: I hate it. Student 2: Dont you mean you? Student 1: Yes both.

Person: My brain has the dumb I’m sorry

Person 1: If my first word was no, I’m assuming that’s foreshadowing for them my family disowns me after I renounce religion and systemic abuse. Person 2: Or…. You just need to make sure your last word is yes. Person 1: Yes to what though? Person 2: ‘Are you dying?’ Yes.’ Pessimism, just your style. Person 1: That’s true.

Person: My parents don’t message me, they’re the type of people who CALL. Where did I get my social anxiety from??

Person: Well guys it's been great knowing you I’m just going to drown now.

Person: I figured out a new diet regime, it’s called sleeping until noon and just not eating breakfast.

Person: The f on my birth certificate was the doctor paying their respects.

Person: Chocolates with raspberry filling are the sole reason I’m still alive.

Person 1: Isn’t Latin a dead language? Person 2: You’re a dead language!

Person: Hydrate before you diedrate.

Person 1: you have a son named Spider-Man? Person 2: what noooo! Person 3: well don’t expose her!

Person: That awkward moment when you just really don’t care about people.

Person 1: (Person 2) and I will be over here with my virgin margarita and her water. Person 2: Hey! I want apple juice! Person 3: Why are you not drinking (Person 1)? Person 2: Because she’s to single, and also she’d strip. Person 1: Woahh! How dare you assume that I’m not drinking because I’m to single?

Person 1: Ya know, I think I’m going to have to jazz hands my way through hell. Person 2: All of us will.

Person: Brown town children, y’all find someone in India?

Person 1: Wow you have the best backup singers. Person 2: I only hire the best, at least 5 stars in yelp. Person 1: Well good because that’s the sound they’re making.

Person: The cold kills everything, it’s like my heart.

Person 1: Remember the rolls I brought to school last year that I used to give you? The ones with paneer and the really good spices? Person 2: Yah? Person 1: This is not at all the same thing.

Person 1: What’s stevia? Person 2: It’s like sugar but no.

Person 1: Yeetus Skelettus. Person 2: Fetus Deletes? Honey, that’s called abortion.

Person: Anything for you. That’s what you said. Anything for you. But when I ask for just one bite of your pasta? No!

Person 1: I've written 1,300 words and don’t have a thesis statement or topic question Person 2: Yeah, you need to figure that out.

Person 1: you know I had a dream that you where in a romantic relationship with a toaster. Person 2: wasn’t that your relationship with (ex’s name)? Person 1: you’d have more chemistry with a toaster.

Person: Can people read colors? Cause I am ooo.

Person: It’s like hands but medusa

Person: You look like a cardboard jellyfish that’s brown

Person 1: Two of us like boys. Person 2: We all like boys. Person 1: Two of us like ONLY boys.

Person: you’re like a reverse plant. You convert oxygen into carbon dioxide.

Person: Shhhhh. I’m not in physics, let me be dumb in peace.

Person: Why are you laying down like some greek god, get up you brown child.

Person 1: Do all of you just think you’re going to be single? Person 2: I already am why not keep the streak going to get a high score?

Person: and now cracks of light are coming out from around the sides like some sort of computer Jesus!

People 1 and 2: Rock Paper Scissors Person 3: shoot me please.

Person 1: not since 9/11 you can’t. Person 2: dang. You just tossed your whole country just to prove a point. I’ve never been so proud.

Person 1: what is an angle of depression? Person 2: it’s my life. Person 1: no it’s you because it’s not straight.

Person: Boom. Lesbians.

Person 1: Well what if two rocks just washed up at the same time and humans. Person 2: Evolution.

Person: Watermelon isn’t good anymore, I swear its just water with food coloring.

Person: You being dumb makes me want to correct you, sos too being dumb cause I’m on vocal rest.

Person: well (persons name) who have you a mouth?

Person: Teachers that grade late work deserve all the love and cookies and cake in the world.

Person 1: honestly I just want to die right now. Person 2: same. Literally same.

Person: I just feel like a single molecule lost in space.

Person: who’s gunna stop me? God? Damn him to hell.

Person: the line is not actually straight it’s like (students name)

Person 1: It’s your favorite sleep deprived gay. Person 2: But I’m my favorite sleep deprived gay. Self love. Person 1: We Stan.

Person 1: Why do you have a tool? Person 2: Because my hair is moist.

Person: eating lead was an otherworldly experience

Person 1: I have everything stolen from me 2: at least you have the tiniest bit of dignity left 3: what dignity? 1: exactly

Person 1:( holding up katsup) does this go on salad?

Person:I’m turning red! Me! A brown girl!

Person: I’m not trying argue that we should date, I’m just saying.

Person 1: what’s your biggest turn on? Person2 : a light switch Person 2: or then leaving.

Person 1: what is the most attractive retire on someone Person 2: my own face

Person: you’d be that one bar do white chocolate that just sits in the feidge because no one wants it

Person: that’s like saying I’d rather see your shirt than your face.

Person: why would I shut up when I can shut (kids name) down

Person: Subtle. Gay. Vibes. I’m telling you.

Person: just watch me write my ee on all the reasons why nick caraway is gay. Just watch me.

Person: Why are you stereotyping. What if the body doesn’t want trucks, what if he wants to be a fairy.

Person: being ace is basically just eww no but like forever.

Person: Stop trying to science your way out of being wrong.

Person: even if you did ask me out I’d still say no so then you’d even be rejected by a trash can

Person 1: you can’t read cheese color. Person 2: yellow?

Person 1: Think about it like you’re brown Person 2: She is brown Person 1: Then act like it

Person: You’re not an ugly frog, you’re a beautiful human being. Person: I am. Very very dumb. And also. Bisexual.

Person: I was thinking of something smart but then I forgot what it was.

Person: I want to skip the crush phase and just make out with someone.

Person 1: The only way to get into the Holland family is to marry in through Paddy. Person 2: (Person 1’s name) this isn’t the royal family.

Person: Omigod you looked like the human version of squid ward.

Person: I want to be smart. Where can I learn smart stuff?

Person: But plant the seed and smoke the weed and chop the cane.

Peeeson 1: that is the definition of meter? Person 2: about 3 feet. Person 1: okay thanks America

Person 1: who’s Tom Holland? Person 2: Spider-Man you uncultured swine!!

Person: I am not a children

Person: Ohh dang yeah forgot chickens existed for a while

Person: Hey! Don’t narrate my water!

Person: I don’t read water.

Person: Think of it as a relationship. If you and your ex break up they are salty but you profit because you wanted to end it but if you end it weak, then y’all will argue back and forth and get nowhere with ending it while still exchanging insults.

Person: You know those really sexual mattress adverts?

Person: Oh please, you have the sexual appeal of an easy bake oven.

Person 1: weed is a gate way drug Person 2: YOURE A GATEWAY DRUG!

Person: (first, middle, last name), I love you to the end of the earth. But you are a daft child.

Person 1: She’s like that type of girl. She’s the long paragraph white girl. Person 2: Well that’s a niche if I’ve even seen one.

Person 1: swing you two fight is like watching two ants fight. Person 2: you friking piece of bacteria!

Person: I’m just an intellectual.

Person: I will murder your face off.

Person: that’s like a kilometer tall.

Person: It’s weird when I pet you horizontally.

Person: to be honest I thought those were rocks in a jar for the longest time. Turns out they weren’t.

Person: does she have a brother or gay tendencies

Person: I’m going to slap your hand like it’s a fricking spider.

Person: I like your face better blurry.

Person: every night at about midnight someone starts googling astrology

Person: I will kick you. I will murder your soul.

Person 1: I’m just going to marry a millionaire. Person 2: Where are you gunna finds a millionaire in this economy?

Person: Welcome to my tea party, there isn’t any tea to drink, but we have a lot of it to spill.

Person: Yah, it was something about sex or something.

Person: You’re all uncultured swines.

Person: I’m about as straight as a sine curve.

Person 1: They’re not Oreo’s you dumb head Person 2: I know that dumber head. Person 3 :Shut up dumbest heads

Person: As an ex foetus i can say with authority that if my mother had aborted me i wouldn't have known nor would i have given a fuck

Person: I’ve just accepted I’m going to fail this test. I’ve gone through the 5 stages of grief already.

Person: Yes I’m blind that’s why I need glasses fool.

Person: what the fork do you want you little son of a biscuit.

Person: Anyway now I’m taking Tylenol PM and I’m going to actually sleep tonight that’ll be fun.

Person: I need all the hoodies. ALL OF THEM.

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maraczeks · 4 years ago

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chuck s4 thread pt 10

#THAT WAS DIRTYYY ugh #sorry to say it but every time morgan opens his mouth on a mission my respect for him drops #jan 14 2021 #OMIGOD HE ESCAPED #YOOOO #his fighting is so dirty bro #WHAT I THOUGHT HE ESCAPED AHHHHHH #BROGHSOKFKSDJF THE DISAPPOINTMENT???????#THESE DREAMS ARE SO ANNOYINGLY REAL GAH #what what i just wanna know if this is the real life or fantasy BRUH #no these dreams are so sad :(((((((((((#fear in my heart omg #aLSO LOL when i was little i thought the voices in my head were like this multiple tv screens in my belly #WAIT THIS IS SO COOLLLLLL HIS MEMORY/DREAMS AND REALITY OMMGGGGGGGGGGGGG im gonna cry #nOOO IN HIS MIND AND IN REALITY BROOOO THIS IS SO COOL #their love is a completely different level bro #sARAH CRYINGG PLEASE IM TEARING UP #oh my goD #aRE THEY UNRAVELLING THE REST OF FROST #also the end of e9 was so cute omg #omg she...........she has to kill her son i ..................... no words #ENGAGEMENT ERA THOUGH WHO CLAPPED #HUH #lmao this show is so outdated i forget #um.. who's brain #yike #oh im uncomfortable #MAN head in hands LAUGHS #morgan ugh if ur gonna do something at least make it not dumb #see like he always gets saved by someone else its sooo irritate

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trashy-ways-to-waste-time · 8 years ago

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Our Panic! At the Disco Concert Experience

This is a personal post guys. Hope you don’t mind! Admins Daria, Socks, and Disappointment went recently and we wanted to share our favorite parts. Enjoy! (feat. the assorted names for Brendon Urie)

Admin Daria’s thoughts

EVERYONE WHO WENT LOOKED SUPER COOL AND VERY FRIENDLY (fun fact: we started singing history maker from yoi and someone joined us ^^.)

Note: my ass has never danced so hard in my LIFE, my vocal chords did not last, and my ears could not hear for an entire day. i felt amazing

i also realized im capable of crying happy tears? more than once??

Saint Motels has the coolest sounding shit. Good vibes right there

The chick from Misterwives seemed so sweet, adorable, cool, and awesome

Brendon: “You’re like a fucking frat house” *begins to dab viciously in imitation of a frat boy* “sUP BRAH SUP BRAH” Me: wHEEZE

Dallon was so cute oml, save me. HIS HAIR KEPT FLOPPING AROUND AND ASDFGHJKL (Im a bit sad that dallon didn’t interact much but he seemed into it so im happy that he’s happy)

After Girls/Girls/Boys, Breadbin was like “oh i don’t wanna get political…” then the little shit says “Donald Trump is a fucking idiot and he can suck my dick :))”

Old man beebo reminisces of the days his parents played vinyl around the house while they did chores

KENNETH SLAYING THE GUITAR. ALSO KENNETH ROCKING OUT THE BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY GUITAR SOLO WHILST STANDING ON A MOTHERFUCKING PIANO?? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK???

Dalllooooonnnnn. Bless him. He was doing cute little hand movements during the beginning of Bohemian Rhapsody and my heart hurts

Dallon jamming was just everything. (god, have i mentioned how much i love dallon weekes?)

Bden dancing and doing a backflip. Also, him being extra.

DANNNNNNNN. STOP KILLING ME WITH THE DROOOMMMMSSS

the bass was so strong. and so good. can i just say that i find all instruments sexy?

Kenneth interacted with us and gave people high-fives

tHE SAXPHONE BRO NEEDS TO BE APPRECIATED

intense smirking

Brandon Urine handing out compliments made me want to cry

the goddamn crowd during Girls/Girls/Boys (im posting a pic later)

tHE BACKUP VOCALS. DALLON’S VOICE AHHHH (im a dallon enthusiast, is there a problem?)

forehead expressing his appreciation for us :’)

mah bois hips don’t lie

I legit yelled "you own my ass" out loud... kinda regret it now

Admin Socks’ thoughts

THE FLOOR WAS SO FREAKING STICKY

THE HIGH NOTES THOUGH

saint motel was SO GOOD 10/10 would have gone to a concert of just them

those songs from the 70s made me feel nostalgic even though I wasn’t alive

I was one of the few in space buns?? I expected more

GIRLS/GIRLS/BOYS WAS SO BEAUTIFUL WITH ALL THE HEARTS

ok, but out of the THOUSANDS of people, I was standing in line and noticed that the person next to me was MY FRICK FRACKING CHILDHOOD MUSIC TEACHER LIKE WTF ARE THE CHANCES

OH NO there are goldfish all over the floor of my car

GOSHDARNIT THEY ALL LOOKED G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S

merch merch merch merch merch yes please

when the first opening act came on I stood there gaping for a solid minute before whispering to myself “i’m here”

everywhere we went it was like this: “oh there’s your shirt” “someone has on the same shirt as you” “darnit I see someone with the same shirt as me” “look a whole flock with the same shirt”

I shouted “yassss queen” a few bajillion times

I ACTUALLY sang the bad words *gasps* so scandalous

I saw a bunch of pride flags and that just kinda filled my heart with joy :)

Admin Daria actually cried right next to me

SHOUTOUT TO THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF US WHO JOINED IN ON HISTORY MAKER AND THEN GAVE US THEIR SPARE HEARTS (my heart swells for all you nice wonderful people)

I tried to listen to what I sounded like when I was screaming and it was BAD. BAD I tell you

WHEN THE PIANO FIRST APPEARED I SCREAMED “YAY BRENDON YAY PIANO”

when I got in the car my mom was like “oh I bought the whole set-list and a few more songs if you’d like to listen to them” and I was just like “afjbvjk bwkbc yes please”

contrary to popular belief too weird to live too rare to die is my favorite album so I was glad that there were songs from that at the concert

my MOM had a better seat then me ... my MOM

that place had really bad service

we were all “SUP BRAH” and unironically dabbing in the parking lot

but seriously this was one of the best experiences of my life and I actually just layed on the floor when I got home and was like “omigod omigod omigod I just saw Panic! At the Disco omigod omigod I'm gonna die omigod”

Admin Disappointment’s thoughts

CRYING LOTS OF CRYING

LIKE WTF WHY SO MANY TEARS

Yelling

Singing off key

Low key judging the people arriving late at the concert

Eating a bag of goldfish

Getting sick because of the excitement

“BEEEEEEBOOOOOOO” “I hope this doesn’t show up on the video”

Crying even more

“sUP BRUH”

Terrible videography skills

Knowing all the songs

“Donald Trump is a fucking idiot”

Yelling across the room saying “I like your shirt”

“You need to stop”

Out of control 10/10 embarrassing to go to a concert with

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