#on a more personal note Taken Ill was one of the more memorable episodes for me personally bc it had a rly deep sense of loss

[shapeshiftershenaniganary]

relistening to the archives and NOTHING is ever going to get the same, quiet "...oh." from me like when Elias started talking about Melanie's dad.

It was far from the worst thing in the series, absolutely. But the fact that they got that quiet understanding across, not just to Melanie, but to the listener? Phenomenal writing. I will never be the same again.

[sailormoonsub]

So you've watched a lot of different shows through the patreon and kori donations

If it's not too time consuming I was wondering how you would summarize those shows in a sentence or two

Or maybe just do the most memorable ones?

Not a bad idea! Here’s a one-sentence summary and a one-sentence personal note on every show I’ve reviewed more than one episode of on this blog. TLDR I’ve pretty much enjoyed everything that appears on this blog, though for different reasons. Links to all my posts about these shows can be found here! 

This is turning out to be a rather long post so I’m going to throw the list under a Read More. 

ANIME

Sailor Moon: I feel compelled to list it here but, like, I think you know enough about Sailor Moon by now.

Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun: Group of high schoolers write and draw a romance manga while simultaneously living the most chaotic reversal of common romance tropes. SO happy this was recommended to me because I never would have picked it up on my own but it’s officially a new favorite!!!

The Case Files of Jeweler Richard: Gem expert and his assistant solve rock-related mysteries while engaging in homoromantic behavior. A lesser known franchise that I think deserves more love!

Snow White with the Red Hair: Herbologist in a medieval fantasy environment escapes her oppressive government and starts a new life in a neighboring kingdom where SHE makes decisions about her life. I’m not even that far into the series but I am OBSESSED with the premise and all the character dynamics are so genuine and honest in a way I can’t describe.

Penguindrum: Himari dies of Glamorous Victorian Illness but is resurrected by the Penguin God in exchange for a favor. I’ve enjoyed what I’ve seen so far, although it is Ikuhara so it’s often confusing and abstract and all the characters need therapy.

Madoka: Being a magical girl is bad actually due to the amount of sacrifice involved. Reviewing this one is so effortless because there’s SO much material to talk about and it has such a well-established presence in the mainstream pop cultural consciousness.

My Next Life as a Villainess: Girl is reincarnated as the villain in an otome game and rewrites the script by being nice. I’ve compared it to the Good Place which is one of my favorite shows, and I cannot get enough of these characters, especially, of course, our angel queen, Catarina.

Cardcaptor Sakura (and Clear Card): Sakura has to capture all the cards. I LOVE the low stakes, slow pace, sweet and friendly vibe of this show, which might frustrate some people, but for me it’s the very definition of a comfort anime.

Zenonzard: Speaking of cards; apparently a witch created a card game to get revenge on humanity and now it’s the future where everything is neon, there’s humanoid robots all over the place, and card games are a gladiatorial sport. The visuals are amazing, the world is fascinating, and overall I’m impressed with an anime that’s based on an app.

Princess Tutu: Duck turns into a ballerina and uses unconditional kindness to save everyone from sad feelings, while ALSO working against the author who is writing her fairytale. I can’t describe how much an impact this show left on me!! A Big Fave!!

Revolutionary Girl Utena: High schoolers with swords fight each other for a shot at finding something eternal. If you read this blog, you already know I had a delightful time with this series.

Keep Your Hands Off Eizouken!: Three girls use their skills to make a hand-drawn anime. I only reviewed the first two episodes, but I had watched it while it was airing. I love series that delve really deep into a niche subject, and this one tackles the animation process in a fun accessible way while ALSO having a wonderful trio of protagonists with wildly unique personalities.

Fruits Basket 2019: Professional Cinnamon Roll Tohru collects friends who can turn into the zodiac animals. From what I’ve seen, the characters and relationships are a huge strong point in this series. I want to give them all a hug. This fell by the wayside a little while ago but I would love to get back into it!

CARTOON

Gargoyles: They are gargoyles, who come to life at night. Never got into it as a kid, but certainly appreciate it now!

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts: Girl from futuristic underground city arrives on the surface to find out that animals have taken over and have developed arts and culture. It’s so refreshing to see a post apocalyptic world that’s NOT a dystopia! It’s not earth as we know it, but it’s still bright and colorful and full of art.

LIVE ACTION

PGSM: I don’t think I need to list a summary, but WATCH PGSM OH MY GOD. Sailor Moon but with soap opera levels of drama, a killer soundtrack, an incredible cast, puppets, and a really cool reimagining of the Silver Millennium mythos.

Tokusatsu Gagaga: Office lady tries to hide her obsession with tokusatsu shows and makes friends who have similar interests. I fell fast and hard for Gagaga; if you’re a nerd who has tried to function in a non-nerd environment, you WILL relate to this 7-part series!!

Russian Doll: Natasha Lyonne relives the same day over and over and has to make connections in her life. First introduced to me when it won a Patreon vote, and even though it was different from my usual content, I was enraptured by the dark comedy and surreal vibe. Thursday, what a concept.

Good Omens: An angel and a demon low-key turn their backs on Satan and God in order to prevent a war between heaven and hell. I can’t even think of an adjective that’s good enough to describe how well this miniseries was translated from the book. Legendary casting, satisfying plot twists, hilarious commentary on religion.

Cutie Honey The Live: Robot girl fights off an organization that turns people into living weapons through various wacky schemes. Over-the-top in all senses of the phrase. I love a show that’s extremely silly, but takes itself seriously.

Gokushufudo: Former yakuza member becomes a househusband. Only just started this series but man, with a premise like that, how can you NOT fall in love.

[keepingupwithfundies]

BuB Season 10 Episodes 8-10

The Bates have their Noah’s Ark themed “I Love You” Day. It’s really...something. At the party, Travis has a question for Gil...and then a few weeks later, one for Katie. At least in the recaps, T manages not to complain every time they’re out in public (from Feb to Apr. 2021) without masks, but know I was thinking it. 

-T 

*Episode 8: Two by Two, I Love You

It is time for the first photoshoot in the new Bates Sisters Boutique location, and Esther and Tiffany have joined the party. The sisters are all thrilled to be in their new space with their hopeful future sisters in law. Lawson and Tiffany have been talking for about five months, have a lot of the same life passions, and they are having a good time. Tiffany is finishing her masters degree and Lawson says it is a big deal to bring her into the family, but it is a good time to do it. Esther is nervous about modeling for the first time, and Nathan reassures her. Tiffany jumps right in and she is a natural. Carlin says she never thought she'd see Lawson like this, and she has to do double takes. It is Esther's turn, and Carlin helps coach her. Carlin says she doesn't need coaching. Nathan says Esther is stunning but shy, but once she got in front of the camera her model side came out. Nathan says she did an amazing job. Kelly arrives, and she is impressed with the new space. Kelly goes to talk to her daughters about party plans, and tells them that Nathan and Esther will be cooking the couple's dinner. The sisters are all surprised but supportive of them. Kelly says she still has a whole bunch to do, and Erin hopes they will make a bunch of memories this weekend.

Michael says that she and Brandon went to start decorating for the party after the photo shoot. It is a Noah's Ark theme, and Brandon & Michael have taken on the decorating. They had fun making some decorations and finding some on theme and getting everything set up. Esther and Nathan get cooking, and Esther is used to cooking for a crowd, being some a big family. This dish is one which she made the first time she met Gil and Kelly, and they raved about it. The dinner will be at the church, but they are cooking at the main house since Kelly has two ovens. Nathan says being in the kitchen is outside of his area of expertise. Esther and Nathan have to head over to the church, since they left some stuff there. Esther says they should just stay and get ready there, and asks Katie and Travis to take the chicken out when it's ready and bring it over. Katie, not a chef herself, is nervous about this but Esther reassures her it will be ok.  There is also potatoes, but Esther has faith in Katie.

Everyone arrives at the church for the dinner, which is nicely decorated with help with some church friends. Nathan and Esther arrive last, and they are impressed with the dinner. Over the years, Lawson and Nathan have joked about the couples dinner but they are happy to be there with their girlfriends this year. The couples dinner is a hit, and Michael talks about what a special time it is each year. Gil shares a devotional thought with the couples, which is about how love cover up the little annoyances in relationships and how you need more of it as you go. Tori talks about how meaningful that is to her. Everyone then eats, and everyone is very impressed with Esther's cooking. Lawson says he enjoyed his first official couples dinner, and that it is going to get hectic from here.

The next day, the not-yet-engaged couples go to look at some rings. Nathan and Esther are looking pretty seriously. But the other couples are moral support, although Katie says they are taking notes. Nathan is nervous about the ring; he wants Esther to pick the style that she likes so he has a path to follow. Esther tries a princess-cut solitaire and then they look at a three stone look. They try a square halo, and Esther loves it. She lit right up, and Nathan is thrilled. Esther knew right away, and says "if you propose to me with this ring, there's no way I would say no." Nathan likes to see the ring on her finger, and he is so glad he know just the ring she likes. Nathan and Esther are so excited.

Later on, it is time for the "I Love You Day" party. People begin getting their costumes on for the party. Kelly is so excited for the theme. The couples are getting ready, taking photos, when Travis finds Gil alone on the basketball court. Gil knows what's coming. Travis tells Gil he loves Katie, and that he would like to take care of her, be faithful to her, and Gil does he usual joking "no" and then gives his blessing. He then says to make sure to come visit often. Gil says he knew it was coming, and it was an honor to get to someone with his character. Kelly asks if Gil can keep this a secret, and he says that now Kelly knows the secret will get out.

It is party time, and everyone arrives to show off their animal costumes. Zach arrives, and everyone tries to figure out what he is, and Zach jokes that he is a party animal. Jackson says it is his signature move: Zach comes as a cowboy and wins some kinda prize. Zach says they were going to be a dinosaur family, but only one costume came in: Bradley's. So they found what they could for everyone else. The costume contest commences. Kelly has everyone cast a ballot for the dinner. Tiffany's mom handmade Tiffany and Lawson's costumes, and Tiffany brought honey sticks for everyone which definitely helped their case. Counting the ballots is a more of a process then they expected. Kelton, Bobby, Evan and Travis go outside to practice their song, and the guys thought this would be fun to initiated Travis as a hopeful future brother in law. The guys all rave about Travis's voice. Travis asks if they have any advice. They ask if Travis has asked Gil, and Travis says he did. Bobby goes, "Did he say no at first?" and Travis says "he did!" and Bobby says, "did you laugh? you didn't laugh right?" and Travis says he thinks he did. But Bobby says you're still here. Bobby says that's step 1, and Kelton will do step 2. Kelton says step 2 is have a photographer there, and make a plan but be flexible to get it done. Evan says jokingly that from there on everything is perfect and nothing will do wrong. Bobby says he should just ask after their song, while in costume, as that is "every girl's dream." Travis says he will take some of the advice and he will use it. Travis says,"No offense, but Josie, Carlin and Katie talk all the time...", and Kelton jokes "but I'll kill you if you say anything." Bobby says the secret will stay within their marriage, and tells Tori not to tell anyone else.

Back at the parties, the Brothers-in-law get up to sing their song. The guys sing a sweet old love song in crazy costumes, and everyone enjoys it. Then it is time for the Biggest Heart Award, which she gave for the first time to Lawson last year. This year, it goes to Michael, since she drops everything to be there for them. Michael nursed her grandmother through a recent illness. Everyone cheers for Michael, who is overwhelmed and deeply touched by the award. The costume contest begins: Bradley (t-rex) wins for Grandkids, Ellie (an inflatable cow suit) wins singles, and Lawson and Tiffany win for couples. Kelly says there were so many memories, and she is already planning next year's party. Lawson and Nathan say it was particularly special for them, and Katie says every year is better and better- and hopefully next year they'll be back and married.

*Episode 9: The Webster's New Home and Nathan's Next Move

Whitney and Zach invite Bobby and Tori over, since they just moved in down the street. The boutique has left the house, and they joke about being able to see the house again. Zach and Bobby go to cook, and Bobby is excited to learn from Zach. (Oh, it's a Perdue ad! Hi Purdue!) The kids also help cook. Whitney says when Zach has time, he loves to cook really nice meals. When it's busy, she does a lot of casseroles. Tori has boy clothes for Whitney, and Whitney has girl clothes for Tori. The clothes get both families excited about their new additions. Tori says it is cool to see how in sync Whitney and Zach are in the kitchen. The food is done, and everyone is excited about trying the meal. It's good.

John and Alyssa are moving, and Maci is a few weeks old. Ellie and Addee have been enlisted to help Alyssa pack up. Ellie and Addee are good movers. Addee says she usually prefers to watch the kids, so she does that as Ellie and Alyssa pack her house. At the new house, John is working away with some of the brothers to get it ready. The flooring goes in quickly, and John is impressed. Alyssa is excited by the progress. Alyssa says it was wonderful having her siblings come help.

Kelton and Bobby are working at the plumbing company, since they had a lot of businesses in 2020 due to people being home breaking things. Bobby and Kelton are enjoying working together. They now have a warehouse. With work being crazy, they need to figure out how to handle Tori and Josie being due about a week apart. They are looking for another office person to handle the phone while they're away. But growing their families and their businesses will have some growing pains, but will be a memorable year for them.

Callie and Jeb are over at the Paines to meet their new goat. Last year, the Paines got a kitten, two pigs (and piglets on the way) and now a goat. Holland feeds the goat a bottle, and Holland loves the goat. The goat walks on a leash. Everyone agrees it was fun getting to spend some time all together and meeting the goat April!

Nathan goes back to the jewelry store to get the ring which made Esther light up. Lawson has gone for moral support. Lawson is excited for them. Nathan says it is all getting real as he purchases the ring and begins making plans for the proposal. Nathan jokes that he is one step ahead of Lawson, and Lawson says it isn't a race. Josie says Lawson and Tiffany say they aren't in a hurry, but she thinks they will move fast and she is excited. Nathan asks Lawson about rings, and he points out one he saw last time. Nathan gets the ring, and he is ready to ask Esther soon.

*Episode 10: Due Dates & An Engagement Getaway!

A lot is going on for the Bates family: three babies, two new relationships and Travis's upcoming proposal. Kelly sneaks out to a cafe and FaceTimes Travis and his mom. Travis says everything is ready to go in Key West. The plan is to surprise Katie at the weekly Bates Sisters Boutique photoshoot. Travis says he is planning on being outside and coming in to surprise her. The one thing they need to figure out: Travis and Katie share phone location, and if he shuts if off, she'll know. The plan is to tell her Travis broke his phone and then to have him call her from his dad's phone. Kelly says Katie is one who figures out surprises, so hiding this from her has been a challenge, but so far the surprise is safe.

At Zach and Whitney's, Josie arrives and brings Willow over to do a painting activity. Whitney and Josie are excited about Hazel, Jaden and Charlotte will be close in age. Josie says she was mostly pregnant by herself with Willow, and it is way more fun to be pregnant with someone. Whitney and Josie paint signs- Whitney paints "Jayden" (so this is before the spelling change) and Josie paints an H. They talk about nursery plans, and Josie tells Whitney that Willow is into everything. When Josie went to get her from a nap, Willow had stripped down naked, gotten her diaper off, and smeared the contents everywhere. Josie is now worried about them sharing a room in case Willow does something like that again. The kids help decorate, and Zach arrives to deliver chocolates from their husbands. The women are touched, and they appreciate the chance to make memories before their babies arrive.

Nathan is training Lawson to become a commercial pilot, and Nathan wants this wrapped up before his proposal. Nathan is so excited for the next step with Esther, and Nathan is starting to think about finances, where they want to live, and all that. Nathan asks when Lawson is gonna get engaged, and Lawson says he is saving for a ring. Lawson says Tiffany is an amazing person and getting to know her is a joy. But he wants to get Nathan to the altar before making more plans.

In New Jersey, Travis is trying to write a song for Katie for the proposal. His parents and brother come over to help him with the song. His family is very musical, so they can be a tough audience, but they are really supportive. He plans to sing it after proposing, but his mom suggests doing it first. He agrees that makes more sense. Travis says he has some things to figure out, but he is praying it comes out perfectly.

Travis and his parents are heading to Tennessee, and it is crunch time on hiding the surprise from Katie. At the boutique, Whitney, Erin and Carlin are excited for the photoshoot which will feature all the sisters except Alyssa and Michael (who is out of town). Tori arrives first, and then the rest of the sisters arrive and the shoot begins. Travis is hiding outside ready to sneak in and take the camera at some point. Taryn, the photographer, starts the photoshoot off with the sisters, and one photo of all three pregnant sisters together. Finally, Erin asks Katie to change, and it's time for the secret to come out. Up until this point, only Gil and Kelly knew the Clarks were in the parking lot. Erin starts putting people in a line for the big group sister shot. Travis sneaks in, and the sisters are shocked but he shushes them quick. Everyone is shocked and excited to see him. Addee says everyone knew right away this was the engagement. Katie comes out, and Travis, from behind the camera, says "Surprise!" Katie says he said he was getting his phone fixed, and Travis says: "Nope, we're going to the beach!" Katie then sees his parents are there, and she is shocked. Katie didn't think he would surprise her at a Boutique photoshoot, so he has surprised her once again. All the sisters are so excited, and Katie can't wait to see when and where it happens, but she knows it will happen soon. The sisters take a quick pic with Travis, and then it is time for Katie to go quickly pack.

Katie, Travis and their parents arrive in Key West, and they are in awe of their surroundings. They shop, explore and take photos. The Clark parents went to Key West on their honeymoon, and they are excited to be sharing it with Travis and Katie. Everyone does a history train tour first, to get to see what is going on on the island. They take photos at the southernmost point, a classic photo spot. Everyone teases Kelly for her love of vacation photos and counting "one two three" over and over again. Next stop is the Butterfly Conservatory. Everyone loves getting to see all the different types. Everyone is surprised with how many butterflies there are. They see flamingos as well. A butterfly lands on Gil's phone, which he thinks makes him special in some way. Kelly says the odds of a butterfly landing on you in that place with so many butterflies are high.  Gil retorts, "So did any land on you?" and Kelly laughs and says no. They rave about the conservatory.

Next up is a sunset cruise, and the views are amazing. Katie thinks this is the time, but it is just a classic tourist sunset cruise. Gil says this is a great tease for when it really will be. Everyone enjoys the sunset, and Katie teases her parents for being on their phones taking pictures instead of "living in the moment." but everyone is laughing and having a good time as the sun goes down.

The next day, it is proposal day (although Katie doesn't know that quite yet.) First stop is to a sand sculptor for a class in sand sculpting. Katie and Travis sculpt a dolphin. The parents go for a turtle. First, the sculptor has them pack the sand in first, and then everyone start chipping away at it. Katie and Travis have their dolphin hold a heart with their initials on it, which makes theirs the favorite. The sculptor asks where they're going next, and so does Katie. Travis says lunch is next. Travis says his nerves are ok right now, but he is worried about his song and wants to practice it before the real thing.

Kelly, Travis's Mom and the photographer go to the location, a pier over the beach, to see how the florists have set it up. It is really beautiful, and everyone is impressed. Kelly says she is nervous enough for the both of them, but it is time. Katie and Travis are all dressed up and ready to go. Gil sends them off on a walk, and Katie thinks this is it. Travis leads Katie away, and she is crying already.

Travis leads Katie down the pier, and they are both super nervous. Travis tells Katie he loves her, and he leads her to the end of the pier. Katie says it looks like a scene from a movie. Travis leads her into a heart made of flowers, and Travis picks up his guitar. Travis sings her his proposal song, and Katie cries as he sings to her. Katie was overwhelmed by the song, saying she tried to focus on it but couldn't stop crying. Travis finishes the song, and then gets down on one knee and proposals. Katie says yes, and Travis puts the ring on her finger. They hug, and then they turn to their parents. Their parents come hug and congratulates them. The Clarks says they are excited to have Katie in their family, and they have a bright photo. Katie is so excited as they take pictures. All the Bates siblings share their well-wishes in talking heads. Gil says there's wedding bells in the future, and three babies on the way- and maybe two more engagements- and, who knows, maybe even two weddings in 2021? Gil says there is a lot to look forward to and be grateful for- it is a dream come true.

[girlsgonemildblog]

There Was So Much Crying - The Bachelor, Season 25, Week 11 & After The Final Rose Recap

Image from abc.com

We made it. We finally arrived at the finale of what may have been the longest season of The Bachelor ever. Perhaps not in weeks and episodes, but definitely in years it took off my life. The episode opens with shots of Matt and the two remaining ladies, Michelle and Rachael, all looking very serious. Rachael was even staring pensively off in the distance while writing in her journal. Every season there’s a shot of one of the final girls journaling, and I refuse to believe that that many people keep a journal. I try to journal, and I am good for like two entries a month, and that’s only until I completely forget about journaling for half a year until I find the notebook in a drawer I never open.

Matt then goes and sees his mom, Patty,  and older brother, John, who looked so much like him it was actually distracting.

Matt’s family first meets Michelle, and Patty starts crying almost immediately. Michelle and John then go off to speak privately, and it was clear that John prepped for this conversation. He had a line of questioning memorized, and they were personal, such as “When was your last relationship?” and “Why did it end?” I think John would get along well with Michelle’s kindergarteners.

Patty then gets a chance to talk with Michelle, and the two of them had an instant connection. Serious bonding happened. Patty starts crying (again) because she is so happy that Matt has found love. I would be remiss if I did not say that if my boyfriend’s mom were crying like this, it would be a red flag for me. Like, why are you this grateful that someone is willing to be with your son? What is wrong with him that you’re not telling me?

The next day it is Rachael’s turn with the Jameses, and John lays into her just as much as he did Michelle. He hits her with questions like “How many relationships have you been in?” and “Have you ever been in love?” It did not seem like he was as satisfied with her answers as he was with Michelle’s. When Rachael talks to Matt’s mom, they discuss the importance of religion in both of theirs, and Matt’s, lives. Patty cries, and Rachael says that the show is “God’s way of bringing her and Matt together.” God, Chris Harrison, same difference.

After Rachael leaves, Matt gets a chance to debrief with his mom and brother. His mother seems to like both girls, which was probably quite unhelpful for Matt, who needed to decide between the two. She also says that she does not think Matt is ready to get engaged, which was pretty evident at this point. She then goes into quite a speech about how “love ends,” and it’s “not the end all be all.” Patty’s clearly been through a lot, and desperately needs to go to therapy. John counters by telling his brother that he supports him no matter what, but he also shouldn’t jump into a decision if he is not ready.

This whole conversation (understandably) confuses Matt, and he asks to speak with Chris Harrison. He tells Chris that he’s unsure if he’s ready to get married and fills him in on the conversation with his mom. Chris simply replies, “that’s a lot to unpack,” which is a very fitting response. He then tries to talk Matt into it in an attempt to salvage what has ultimately been a complete shit-show of a season. My personal opinion is that if you’re not sure if you’re ready to get engaged, you’re not ready to get engaged. You need to be 100% confident before you get down on one knee. (I also think you need to be 100% confident the other person will say yes, but I won’t get into that right now.)

The next day, Matt takes Michelle to the top of a building and brings her dangerously close to the edge with her eyes closed. When she does open her eyes, he announces that they will be repelling down the side, and that would be the point where I would break up with him. If he really loved her, he wouldn’t ask her to risk her life. Matt was really bad at the repelling but still took it upon himself to explain how to do it to Michelle, who was having no issues. That night, Matt goes over to Michelle’s hotel room. She gives him a gift; matching “World Changing Warriors” basketball jerseys with “Mr. James” and “Mrs. James” on the backs and he then breaks up with her. She says to him, “just tell me where you’re at,” and he responds, “I don’t think I can get there with you.” Harsh, to say the least.

The following day, we see Rachael getting ready for her own date with Matt. Chris Harrison then knocks on her door, and she is delighted to see him, unfortunately not realizing what is happening. Chris Harrison does not show up with good news. Chris tells Rachael that Matt’s going through some things and doesn’t want to see her today (imagine getting stood up on The Bachelor), but conveniently omits that Michelle was sent home the previous night.

Matt meets with Neil Lane, the official diamond provider of Bachelor Nation. Neil asks Matt if Rachael is expecting a proposal, and he says, “she’s expecting honesty.” Uh, no, Matt. She is definitely expecting a proposal.

Rachael gets a date card asking her to “meet me by the lake,” which is extremely ominous. Rachael does meet him and gives her pre-proposal speech, which is filled with clichés like, “I’m not gonna run when it gets tough,” and “when you’re hurting, I’m hurting.” Matt then tells her that he can’t propose to her (then why the hell did he get that ring?), but he still wants to “commit” to her. Then they all lived happily ever after. Just kidding, she got exposed on the internet, and the whole show exploded.

Which brings me to the third hour of the finale, “After the Final Rose”. Because Chris Harrison decided celebrating slavery was defendable, he’s been put in time out, and Emmanuel Acho was asked to step in and host. For those who are not familiar, Acho is a former linebacker for the Philadelphia Eagles (go birds!) and current analyst on Fox. He also wrote a book titled Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man and hosts a video series on topics involving race.

Emmanuel brings out Michelle first, who looked stunning. She tells Emmanuel that after she was sent home, she asked for two minutes with Matt, not to change his mind but just to get closure, but he refused, which is actually pretty shitty of him. Emmanuel then asks for her thoughts on Rachael’s scandal. Michelle, very tactfully, says that those photos hurt her and that she does believe Rachael has a good heart, but she was just ill-informed and inconsiderate.

Matt then comes out to speak with Michelle. She confronts him over how she was forced to walk away without closure, and he says he wishes he had pushed more for that conversation. This phrasing interested me because it implied that not speaking with her may not have been his choice alone. As Oprah would say, was he silent, or was he silenced? Emmanuel asks Michelle if she still loves him. She says that she still cares for him, and he will always hold a piece of her heart. She also roasts him by saying he needs to come up with more phrases than “thank you for sharing that with me.”

It is then Matt’s turn to speak alone, and oh boy, did he look tired. It was so painfully clear that he just wanted to be done with this whole thing. He and Emmanuel discuss how he was under extra scrutiny because he was the first Black bachelor and how he is the only representation of a Black man in some of the viewers’ homes. Matt speaks about how other leads would only be asked to find love, but he also had to represent all Black men. Emmanuel asks him how much of the pressure may have been internalized, and Matt responds that the pressure comes from the fact that Black people are conditioned to make people comfortable with their Blackness.

Their conversation then shifts to his relationship with Rachael, and Emmanuel asks what made Matt first fall for her. He says her authenticity, which is a bit ironic in hindsight. Matt then breaks down their trajectory after leaving Pennsylvania. At first, they were in a honeymoon phase. When the rumors started bubbling about Rachael’s past, Matt dismissed them as rumors and just tried to be there for her. He said that “you hear things that are heartbreaking and pray that they’re not true.” When he discovered they were true, he was taken back to growing up in the south and the people and places that made him feel unwelcome. Eventually, he broke up with her. He said it was a tough conversation, but “if you don’t understand that that’s problematic in 2018, then there’s a lot of me you won’t understand.”

Emmanuel then spoke to Rachael one-on-one. He shows her the controversial photo, and she says she sees “someone who was living in ignorance without thinking who it would be hurting.” Her use of the phrase “someone who” is important to note because she is separating herself from the actions and thus not actually taking responsibility for them. She also says that she never asked herself about where the tradition comes from because if she had, she would’ve immediately realized it was problematic. Remember she said this, it’ll come up later. Emmanuel asks her who is to blame for her ignorance, and she says there is no excuse. This is the point where it became painfully clear that everything she was saying had been scripted and rehearsed a thousand times. Acho also asked her what steps she was taking to educate herself, which she did not actually answer. She said it wasn’t about reading books and watching documentaries (you know, the tools of education) and even said, “we need to take action.” I’m not sure who the “we” she was referring to is exactly because she was the only one on that stage who was photographed playing Slave-Owner.

Matt joins Emmanuel and Rachael, and calling the situation awkward would be an understatement. Matt clearly didn’t want to have to talk to her anymore, and it was evident that a lot more went on during their break up than either of them were willing to say. Emmanuel asks Matt if there is anything else he has to say to Rachael, and he was silent for a long time. They went to a commercial break, and when they came back, he was still silent for a good 10 seconds. I would’ve taken that as a no, but they just kept on waiting. Eventually, Matt says that the most disappointing thing was having to explain to Rachael why the party was problematic. Remember back when Rachael said, “if I had just asked myself where the tradition came from, I would’ve immediately understood it was problematic”? Well, apparently, that was bullshit because in the year 2021, she didn’t, and she clearly fought with Matt about it and defended herself. In addition, Matt tells her that she doesn’t fully understand his Blackness, and she wouldn’t understand that for their kids. He also points out to Emmanuel that he didn’t sign up for this conversation, which I found such a perfect encapsulation of why this entire situation has been so unfair to Matt. Emmanuel asks Matt if the door is still open for a relationship with Rachael, and Matt says that feelings don’t just go away, but she needs to do the work on her own. I.e., Matt doesn’t want to be her babysitter and shouldn’t have to be held responsible for her actions or inactions.

After a palette cleansing commercial break, we return to a different graphic on the screen, that of The Bachelorette. Michelle and Katie then come out and announce that they will both be the Bachelorette, each with their own season, and Katie going first. Katie’s season will premiere in May, giving us just enough time to recover from this shit show before diving headfirst into the next one.

[klein-archive]

First blog by our new Archivist Christine English - Klein on Memory

26th July 2021

A brief introduction: I’m Christine English, and this is my first blog post as the new Archivist for the Melanie Klein Trust, taking over the position from Jane Milton. Jane introduced me to the Melanie Klein archive some years ago, since which time I have been looking particularly closely at Klein's record of her work with an adult patient, Mr B – this was brought to light by John Steiner in recent years, when he published Klein's Lectures on Technique (Steiner, 2019).

I am delighted that, in taking on this blog, which Jane originated and developed, I will have the opportunity to continue her work sharing Klein's thinking on a vast array of topics. In this first post, I pick up where Jane left off, looking at what Klein has to say on the subject of memory.

File D.23 of the archive is entitled, ‘Notes for intended paper on memory’, and is dated 1958. The file is short, and contains a mix of clinical notes, fragments of thoughts on the subject of memory, and more developed ideas that Klein clearly had in mind for a paper. It is likely that, as she was gathering these notes, Klein was also thinking back over her own life, since 1959 was taken up with writing her autobiography.

At the start of the file there is a newspaper article which Klein saved from September 1958, that is pertinent to the subject of memory. It is written by the Scottish poet and translator of Kafka, Edwin Muir. In his article, Muir remarks that what sets aside the great novelists is, ‘the extensiveness, exactitude and free availability of their memory’.

Their characters, he argues, ‘remind us of how little of our own experience we have preserved intact, and how inevitably it has leaked away into a kind of nothingness’. How then does one ‘preserve memory intact’? Muir argues that it is through the immediate imbuing of experience with personal meaning, a capacity which the great novelists possess. These novelists notice things, Muir writes; they ‘seize…the meaning of word and gesture in their passing’.

It is not difficult to see why Klein would have been moved by these words. She had made it her life’s work to study, in the finest detail, the particular and often very problematic ways in which her patients imbued their experience with meaning. I expect she would also have been deeply interested in the kind of mental freedom Muir was describing. The article is so engaging, it is little wonder that it captured Klein’s imagination. An image of the original article is shown here:

Next in the file, Klein makes a couple of statements on memory, without elaborating upon these. First, she writes:

Forgetting somebody is killing them in the deep unconscious. Therefore any painful situation or person forgotten is killed. In the Bible “his name shall be forgotten” is one of the curses.

Secondly, she notes that,

Not building up memories sufficiently strong [sic] is one basis for the loss of memory, at a later age.

This point seems to be very much connected with Muir’s idea that that experience must be imbued with meaning in the first place in order to become memorable.

There is then a longer note headed, ‘Note to paper on memory’. Klein reflects here upon why a perception - necessary, of course, for the creation of a memory - may be interrupted:

‘Note to paper on memory’

All the time perception has been cut out of various things in order to avoid a conscious realisation of something which would have made the splitting impossible. The pain of consciously perceiving would be too great. But it is more than that, because it would not allow the splitting which had been successful to continue.

Even in a normal person definite perceptions are cut out. During a session I moved my briefcase which immediately meant to the patient that I had been putting down the dream in writing. After a whole train of associations had finished, he became aware of that “hallucinatory” feeling going on while he was speaking. There was every reason against thinking I would have done that, but he had a hallucinatory conviction. Why had he left it out? That brought us to leaving out things in infancy, noises, suspicions about parents’ intercourse, etc. If the conscious perception had been there, splitting could not have been maintained.

This perception of reality goes on simultaneously with the inner feelings of conflict etc but is kept separate. Reality is split off.

Finally, I present a clinical vignette that Klein titled, ‘Recovery of a Childhood Memory During Analysis’. Here, she shows how work in analysis can liberate memories that have previously been denied:

‘Recovery of a Childhood Memory During Analysis’

The patient, a man of 35 years – came to analysis because of an acute breakdown in which he was very depressed – apparently precipitated by his deciding to get engaged to his girlfriend. A similar episode had occurred under the same circumstances 8 years previously. A great deal of homosexual material was produced during the first months of analysis and though he allowed me to give the interpretations about this he always denied that he was aware of it.

He also revealed that at the age of 8 years he had a fight with another boy in which he (the patient) was concussed – but ill in an emotionally disturbed way for several months afterwards – and when I interpreted that he felt it had been a sexual fight between them he very strongly denied anything of the sort. About six months later when he had been able to admit his conscious homosexual feelings in the present situation – he referred again to the fight when he was eight and he now said he remembered that he had started it by making a grab at the other boy’s penis – and this was why he had knocked him out.

[tillidontneedfantasy]

‘WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?’ - Billie Eilish REVIEW: Making ‘Em Bow One By One

WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?

An interesting question you pose there, Billie. When I fall asleep, I usually dream about being a part of the Harry Potter universe and trying to defeat Voldemort with the golden trio. But unfortunately, I don’t go there every night. I mean, believe me, fighting off The Dark Lord can be scary sometimes. But sometimes I go to even darker places, and it always takes a few moments when waking up to believe I’m really in my bed. Much of Billie Eilish’s debut album invites you into the dark parts of her subconscious, and sometimes her extreme consciousness, to which she goes. Of course, “asleep” could also be interpreted as, well, dead. Which is a nice way to phrase it. Ideal, really. How wonderful would it be if death was just an eternal nap? No one would ever be afraid to die.

Maybe that’s what Billie believes it is, and why she seems so desperate to go there on WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? (WWAFA,WDWG?) For a then-16-year-old girl, I wish she wasn’t so tired. “ilomilo,” “bury a friend” and most concerning, “listen before I go,” explore her friends who have been taken from her, and her desire to join them. I’m glad she hasn’t.

So is she. In a now traditional Vanity Fair video, Billie answers the same interview questions three years in a row, exactly a year apart. Expect The Fourth Year one October 18th, 2020. It is one of the most fascinating videos I have ever watched. Though the same at the core, there is a different version of Billie in each year. Which is to be expected, as she is a teenager in the limelight. But the video of year 2, which was around 5 months prior to WWAFA,WDWG?’s release, Billie openly admits to being in a very dark place, discussing how her friend had died. Her posture and affect are noticeably different in years 1 and 3. In the third and latest installment, Billie is an upgraded, happier and more comfortable version of the previous two. You can hear the change in her voice, see it in her face. In response to the question, “What’s most important to you right now?” her answer is, “Maintaining my happiness, which I have been experiencing for the first time in many years….I wanna stay happy. That’s a big goal for me.”

Billie Eilish is one of the biggest breakout stars of the past few years. Her following is enormous, and though fans vary in age, many of them fall in her cohort. Generation Z is special in many ways: morbidly funny, proudly outspoken, self-aware, and unafraid to be different. Billie Eilish is all of these things incarnate, the perfect spearhead for this generation and what they represent. She dresses how she wants to dress and makes the kind of music that she wants to make, refusing to follow the molded expectations of young up and coming female stars before her. In that music, she also does what very few artists, young or old, have ever done: candidly explores mental illness and suicidal ideation.

These issues have become more and more prevalent in today’s society, yet they are still extremely stigmatized. Like many teenagers, I experienced the sadness and darkness Billie is singing about. I’m almost 25 now, but I can imagine how 15-year-old Cass would feel hearing this album and seeing Billie as she is in the third year of that Vanity Fair interview. Understood. Not alone. And hopeful, hopeful that things get better. At that age you feel like everything is the end of the world, because it is developmentally and socially some of the most difficult years in the human experience. And to hear someone you look up to say, “I feel this way, too,” and then see them continue fighting, and happy that they did...that can change someone’s life.

Thankfully, Billie still injects some levity into the album. The musical hook in “bad guy” feels like a defining moment for Gen Z the way the musical hook in “Toxic” was for us Millennials. “all the good girls go to hell” unflinchingly decrees that God Is A Woman™, and “my strange addiction” has cuts from The Office, Eilish’s favorite show, interspersed throughout the song. Gen Z is taking over, and Billie’s one hell of a ringleader.

STRONGEST TRACK(S): “i love you,” “xanny”

The phrase “I love you” has never felt so intimate as it does coming from Billie’s mouth in the penultimate track on WWAFA,WDWG? Sandwiched between two tracks where all together they form a sentence (listen before I go, I love you, goodbye) "i love you" is the most mesmerizing and most vulnerable, not just of the three but of the whole album. As a listener, you are dying to know what's hidden between the lines. Why doesn't she want to love this person even though she clearly does? What did she do to make him cry? Why are you, the listener, crying right now? With the smallest breath, the quietest whisper, the emotion Eilish emits is enormous. Every once in a while you hear a song that you feel will never leave you, and “i love you” has all the makings to be everlasting.

As does the message in “xanny,” a dynamic song that mostly sounds like an old-time jazz track, although infuses a blaring noise over the chorus, as if you are standing right next to the booming stereo at the party setting in which she speaks. The layering of hums in the background and at the end of the song provides a necessary subtle softness, making it all the more beautiful. The track is a statement from Eilish that she has no interest in the lifestyle that so many kids her age- famous or not- lead, partly because she does not understand the appeal of its effects, and partly because she does not want to invest herself in someone willingly bringing harm upon themself, as she previously has. “I can’t afford to love someone who isn’t dying by mistake,” she asserts. Of course, most things in moderation are good and fine, but there is an ever-persistent pressure for young people to use substances, for easier social interactions or easier claim to desirable social status. There is a plethora of music out there promoting the party lifestyle, but very few saying, “hey, it’s okay if you’re not about this, you’re still cool,” and so a celebrity as big as Billie abstaining from it, and providing a reasonable explanation, gives a figure of understanding and solidarity to all the outliers.

WEAKEST TRACK: “8”

Not a bad song by any means, “8” is just the least memorable on an album filled with extremely intriguing and standout tracks. There is an interesting choice of vocal styles that alternate throughout, one of which it sounds as if Eilish is emulating the voice of a little girl. She is asking the subject to just give her some common courtesy and hear her out. "Who am I to be in love / when your love never is for me?" she asks, in the most compelling moment of the song. It is a difficult line to walk, knowing someone doesn't owe you anything but wanting them to anyway. Although the song is effective, its replay value doesn't quite match with the other contenders.

THE IN-BETWEENS

Although Eilish is authentic in her own right, you can see the draw of inspiration from unique artists before her. Lorde's imprint is all over "you should see me in a crown," a catchy song about ruling the world and making everyone bow down to her with the sound of a knife sharpening at the top, and “listen before i go” is reminiscent of Lana Del Rey’s morose romances. “when the party’s over,” written solely by Billie’s brother, collaborator, and best friend, Finneas O’Connell, is a beautifully quiet moment in the middle of the album, with absolutely gorgeous high notes from Billie. The song is succinct and poignant, noting the inner conflict between wanting a friend to be more than just that and yet feeling the need to keep up boundaries to protect your heart; but when has that done anyone any good?

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “my strange addiction”

In the age of Netflix, The Office continues to grow in popularity with younger viewers who missed it on air. Who better to bolster the movement than Verified The Office super fan, Billie Eilish? In “my strange addiction,” Eilish and O’Connell draw inspiration from the classic episode, “Threat Level Midnight,” where Michael Scott (Steve Carrell) has finally finished his movie and is ready to premiere it to the office. In his movie, Scott’s character, Michael Scarn, teaches the entire bar how to do his signature dance, “The Scarn.” “No, Billie, I haven’t done that dance since my wife died!” the song begins, which is a real line from the episode. “my strange addiction” borrows from the track for “The Scarn,” which is simply genius. Everyone is doing “The Scarn,” fictional or nonfictional, even NFL player Trey Quinn, who did the famed routine for his touchdown dance. Not only will “my strange addiction” convert The Office fans to Billie Eilish fans, but just imagine the amount of TikToks there could be of people doing “The Scarn” to this song…think about the meme potential, Billie! *Ed Helms voice* There’s a whole crowd of people out there who need to learn how to do the “my strange addiction.”

                                                                   *****

Billie Eilish, and her debut album, WWAFA,WDWG? is impressive in a multitude of ways: she is raw, candid, silly, wildly intelligent, and most importantly, full of a lot of love, no matter how much she claims she does not want to be. Perhaps most impressive is that the only writers and producers credited on this album are Eilish and O’Connell, ages 18 and 22, respectively, at the time of this review, yet 17 and 21 at the time of its release, which means they were 16 and 20 at the time of writing and production. For two young people to create such an impactful album on such a massive scale on their own is a rarity, and has not been seen since the beginning of Taylor Swift’s career, and look at where she is now. Billie’s music might be different, but her trajectory seems quite similar. At Billboard’s Women in Music ceremony in December of 2019, Swift was honored with Woman of the Decade while Eilish was honored with Woman of the Year. Both artists paid homage to the other in their speeches, harkening back to Swift’s 2014 Woman of the Year speech where she alludes to a future Woman of the Year recipient learning piano and singing in choir; Swift had said back then that we need to take care of her, and Eilish tearfully thanked the room for doing just that. As Swift continues to fight against the system to pave the way for female artists, the clearing is all Billie’s. If Billie continues to maintain ownership of her voice, as I’m sure she will, it looks like the woman of the next decade is a lock. The crown looks great on Billie, and I cannot wait to see where she takes us while we’re all awake. Grade: 4.5/5

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: The first time I listened to WWAFA,WDWG? the only tracks that really captured my attention were “bad guy” and “my strange addiction.” I wanted to like it so bad, but I felt like I was missing something. Maybe that’s because I listened to the album at work and did not take it in properly. But I also felt like she was whispering too much, which made it difficult for me to stay interested. So I did not revisit it. However, over this past year, despite not listening to her music, I started to form a big-sister-type love for Billie, feeling as if I must protect her at all costs (any man over the age of like, 20, reading this: stay the fuck away from her you sickos!!!). I loved how she embraced her individuality and did whatever she wanted. I watched many interviews of her on YouTube (one being the Vanity Fair one, where she talks about how the criticism that she whispers a lot is hurtful yet true- Billie, I’m sorry!!) and found her to be so intelligent. To me, her and Taylor Swift (my number one love) are two sides of the same coin, or two paths to the same destination. What I mean by that is that as a lover of music and as a girl going through a difficult time, sometimes you need positivity to counteract the negative feelings, other times you need to lean into the sadness to release it all; though they both possess a bit of both, Taylor is more of the positive route, Billie more of the sad route. The thing is, you need both options. Billie reminds me of Taylor so much; she writes all of her own music (with her brother as her only co-writer), she has blown up at such a young and vulnerable age (if WWAFA,WDWG? wins AOTY at the Grammys, Billie will be the youngest ever recipient since Taylor won for Fearless at the age of 20), and she is committed to saying and doing what she wants to do the way she wants to do it. After listening to the album a few more times leading up to the Grammys to write this review, I get it. I truly get it. I’m sorry it took so long. And although her super soft vocals are definitely effective, I still want her to project more. The girl has a gorgeous voice; she should use it! But also she doesn’t need my advice, she’s doing fine. Keep whispering, baby girl. I feel very nervous for Billie, because when a woman reaches the top this quickly, everyone gets ready to push her off just as fast, and the fall can be fatal. But I believe in her ability to stand her ground. Please protect Billie at all costs!!!!

[fountainpenguin]

T.U.F.F. Reflection

Now that I’m done with “T.U.F.F. Puppy” I thought I’d condense my overall thoughts into a single post (minus my Keswick thoughts since we’ve already established that I like Keswick).

Action isn’t really my genre, so “T.U.F.F.” wasn’t my favorite of the four Hartman shows, but I’m glad I was finally able to watch it. There were some interesting characters, episode plots, and dialogue that I enjoyed and I look forward to figuring out whether I can add the show in my united Hartmanverse timeline.

“Guard Dog” was hands-down my favorite episode. “Kid Stuff,” “True Spies,” “Bluff Puppy,” “Organized Crime,” Dancin’ Machine,” “Doom and Gloom,” “The Rat Pack,” “Legal Beagle,” and “Happy Howl-O-Ween” are up there too in no particular order. “Love Bird” was also good and was totally worth the season and a half spent setting up the “Bob” joke alone.

I did appreciate the commitment to animal puns. I kept expecting them to run out, but they kept up throughout the series.

I really enjoyed some of the T.U.F.F Agency’s rules, such as not attacking criminals in the presence of children, and the laws protecting members of endangered species. I thought those were played very well.

Interesting worldbuilding details: The animal people visit the vet instead of the doctor, animals that need to hibernate do indeed hibernate in winter, the hospital maternity ward has a place for mothers to gather together and incubate their eggs, and Dudley is able to eat large amounts of chocolate despite being a dog. Dudley’s mom seems to have trained him to obey the usual dog commands since his coworkers sometimes tell him to Sit, Stay, or Heel and he listens instantly. Mousetraps, pesticides, and flea collars are legally sold and no one questions the morality of this.

However, when Dudley’s flea collar made the Chief ill, the Chief was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and healed. It would seem that targeting “pest” species this way is legal, but if someone calls the police or hospital, the “pest” is treated like any other patient. The line might be drawn along a border of indirectly killing another animal by setting a trap versus hunting them down and directly attacking them.

Speaking of fleas and morality, can we talk about the Keswick-Chief relationship because I want to talk about the bloodsucking parasite and the three-hearted alien, please.

And speaking of aliens, Keswick joining the alien-hunting club in the hopes of meeting girls will never not be funny. Never.

There was some excellent subtle worldbuilding in the background, like hamster tube tunnels between the buildings, the hamster tube monorail system in general, and these beautiful multi-species restrooms:

Similarly, I always enjoyed seeing the characters’ animal sides come out in small ways, like Dudley curling into a ball to sleep, fetching things, and dropping into a crouch when he’s upset. Also good: Touched-starved Chameleon using the “I’m cold-blooded” argument to demand snuggles.

I really liked how Snaptrap and the Chameleon had day jobs (running a dance studio and hosting the evil shopping channel respectively). Those were excellent, consistent details that really helped flesh them out. Snaptrap teaching Kitty to memorize dance moves through crime-related mnemonics was super cute.

I enjoyed the snippets of backstory we got from the villains, but I’m always interested in more. I felt the Chameleon was extremely rounded and well done, Snaptrap was mostly rounded but grew dull and repetitive quickly, and Bird Brain was flat and super predictable the majority of the time.

So, I’d have liked to see a larger pool of villains. There were only three major villains throughout the series and their associated henchmen, followed by the reoccurring antagonists: the F.L.O.P.P. members (who were generally together and basically count as one), Quacky and the Sharing Moose (who again count together), and the Caped Cod (I don’t count the Weasel or Jack as reoccurring). The reoccurring villain pool felt like it only contained “six” villains and I’d have liked a few more (especially since the Chameleon and the Meerkat were the only reoccurring antagonists I was actively fond of).

Also, the Caped Cod might be the most annoying cartoon character I have ever seen in my life. It’s not usual for me to actively dislike a character, but he successfully annoyed me. A lot.

I’m kind of disappointed in the lack of lady villains. Zippy was merely Birdbrain’s tagalong and didn’t really do anything evil herself, while R.I.T.A., Snowflake, and Katty appeared for one episode each (two of them appeared early in Season 1 and were never seen again).

In fact, there just weren’t a lot of girls in general (Kitty being the only one to appear consistently) and I found that a little strange. Some behind-the-scenes lore digging revealed that Snaptrap and Larry are brothers-in-law, so I’d have liked to see more of Snaptrap’s sister / Larry’s wife.

To be honest I’m a little miffed the fact that Snaptrap and Larry are related by marriage wasn’t ever mentioned in the actual show, because those two are at each other’s throats constantly and it’s kind of something I’d have liked to know.

Continuity was a little hit-or-miss throughout the show. I did appreciate when background details remained consistent (like Dudley having his new house and new bed in later episodes after he obtained them), but things written in later episode scripts didn’t always line up with previous scripts and it bothered me a bit. On that note, though, Keswick having a fear of drowning despite having gills is something I find hilarious.

I had some issues with Dudley’s characterization over the course of the series. Early on he was obsessed with being helpful and did everything enthusiastically, including paperwork (to the point that his thoroughness with paperwork drove everyone crazy). He was constantly on edge, quick to jump to conclusions, expected that villains to show up at any time, and was completely unable to relax on vacation. Later episodes directly contradict this by portraying him as lazy, ineffective, and forcing Kitty to do his work for him. I suppose it’s reasonable that he grew bored of his job over time, but I found him more difficult to like. If I ever write him, I’d most likely be drawing inspiration from his early characterization.

Similarly, Kitty was shown early on to love relaxation, and her greatest weakness was that she was easily distracted by stereotypical cat interests like yarn, birds, and fish. In later episodes she loses interest in fish and the “easily distracted” weakness was dropped. She is also portrayed as a workaholic who refuses to calm down despite loving to relax in the beginning. There’s nothing inherently wrong with being a hard worker and I would have believed it if this episode had come first, but I’m not a fan of how she and Dudley flipped personalities so completely that they basically switched characterizations by the end of the series. As with Dudley, I’ll probably favor Kitty’s early characterization if I ever write her.

So, those are my initial “I have now binge-watched this kids’ show” thoughts. As I rewatch “T.U.F.F.” episodes over time I might find new things I like or new things that bug me, but this is the hot-off-the-press general reflection. Not my favorite, but it was interesting and I’m glad I watched it. I’ll look for places in my united Hartmanverse worldbuilding where it can fit, though I’ll likely be less of a stickler for canon with “T.U.F.F.” than I am with the others since the cartoon physics are so extreme.

At this time I’m thinking I’ll write a one-shot (or maybe a three-part short story) that will allow me to explore some of the darker aspects of animal people world we couldn’t have in a kids show. Specifically, we’d be delving into predator-prey interactions, the legalities of hunting, and the flea-and-host relationship Keswick and the Chief seem to have going on behind the scenes because I’m super predictable. As I said, Action isn’t my genre of choice and I’m more interested in exploring the worldbuilding and character relationships.

I won’t write any major stories for this show like I’ve written FOP ‘fics, but I’d like to write a bit about the “T.U.F.F.” world and characters just to mix things up in my writing life. I’d say expect some Keswick backstory for sure, because he’s fun. He’s really fun. I might also write a bit about the Chameleon, possibly by combining Chameleon POV with a Larry x Snaptrap’s sister wedding story so we can get a look at that relationship too. Since Snaptrap and Larry have such extreme conflict throughout the series, I think that would be fun to delve into for a warm-up one-shot someday.

We’ll see how it goes.

[ncfan-1]

ncfan listens to The Magnus Archives: S4 EP123, ‘Web Development’

We have further insight into the way the Archival staff is just completely falling apart, my suspicion that the other Powers were taking shots at the Institute (specifically, the Archival staff) is confirmed, and we have the third statement in a row to provide us with a parallel to Jon. I begin to suspect some sort of external influence on the kinds of statements he’s getting his hands on.

- We open with Jon grumbling to himself about his office has been rearranged while he’s away, only to hear Melanie out breaking stuff in the hallway.

- That Melanie responds so poorly to Jon, his return, and just… him in general, doesn’t really shock me. She’s just so badly destabilized, and the idea that Tim and Daisy both died* while Jon gets off incredibly, implausibly lightly by comparison, suffering apparently no ill effects from having been in a coma for six months, would upset someone who wasn’t already halfway down the slippery slope into Slaughterville. Just… what are consequences? Something that matters very much to Melanie King, and rather less so to Jonathan Sims.

And Jon is just thinking very shallowly about Melanie’s situation when he thought that getting Elias out of the picture would make everything be hunky-dory with her, because Elias is a big symptom of Melanie’s problem, but far from being the root cause. If Melanie is falling apart, I think that is happening in large part due to the fact that she is still bound to the Institute. She’s still trapped. She can’t leave. She’s a prisoner in a supernatural box, and in the absence of Elias, I’m honestly not surprised that she’d zero in on Jon as being to blame for everything, especially everything that’s going on with her.

Because if you think about it, Melanie wouldn’t be in this situation if not for Jon. She would never have crossed paths with the Magnus Institute in any meaningful way if Georgie hadn’t pointed her towards Jon. I don’t think it’s entirely fair to blame him for the breakdown of Melanie King’s life, because she would have become a laughingstock in the paranormal YouTuber/podcaster community with or without him, and would likely have had to find a different line of work anyways. But I don’t need to be halfway to Slaughterville to see where she’s gotten the idea that Jon is to blame for everything. Jon is a symbol; that part of what being an avatar is. He’s a symbol for the Archive, a symbol for the Beholding, and a symbol for the forces at work that have destroyed Melanie’s life.

And the worst thing is, it sounds like Melanie, even if she wanted to, wouldn’t have had the luxury of trying to pull herself back from the influence of the Slaughter. Because as I mentioned up above, the other Powers have been taking potshots at the Eye, and the Archival staff have needed someone a halfway-to-Slaughterville skillset just to stay safe. So we have Melanie, having to sacrifice bits and pieces of her sanity just to stay alive, just to keep Basira and Martin safe, and as I’ll talk about more in just a little while, I wouldn’t be shocked if she thinks Jon has had it entirely too easy by comparison.

*I still say I’ll believe Daisy’s dead when I see a body. I honestly think that by the time she killed whichever half of Breekon & Hope she killed, she had become like Jon: too inhuman to die. And when the explosion happened, I think that she, like Jon, made a choice, and walked away from it changed.

- That said, I also think Melanie is justified in her distrust. As I have emphasized before, it is not natural to walk away from a six-month coma as cleanly as Jon did. “You don’t know me, and I don’t know you.” He just waltzes back into the Archive, apparently completely fine after having been in a coma for six months, that just screams supernatural bullshit. As Georgie said, we can think that this is a miraculous second chance for Jon all we like, but it is probably not anything so positive.

- I no longer think Basira’s behavior is just a matter of her not being sure she can trust Jon. She’s so detached, so impersonal. She defends Melanie to Jon, but even when she’s talking about how she was attacked and almost killed by the Flesh, it’s like it was happening to another person, and she was just an observer. In any other series, I’d say that’s down to trauma, but here? That’s got the fingerprints of the Beholding all over it.

But I think another part of it may be that Basira is just done with Jon? Because let’s talk about what I just mentioned: the Archival staff were attacked by the Flesh. Like, some of my favorite episodes are the ones with the Flesh, because they’re so entertainingly weird, but the Flesh is probably the worst Power you could ever be attacked by, because unless you’re being attacked by cannibals, it’s just going to be something so bizarre, so alien, that you just have no frame of reference for what you’re dealing with. You can’t discern pattern or motive, and that makes it very difficult to find a way to effectively deal with it, unless you have a Hunter with you, or someone in the process of succumbing to the Slaughter. (Since the Hunt and the Slaughter seem to derive from the same source, is a human agent of the Slaughter able to kill monsters like Hunters can? I’d be interested to know. I’d also be interested to know whether or not it’s true that only Hunters can kill monsters.)

Though this was the worst incident, Basira (to me) implies that it wasn’t the only one. I think it would have taken more than one attack to convince Melanie, of all people, that she needs to stay in the Institute most of the time for her own protection. And meanwhile, we get no indication that Jon was ever in any danger from agents of other Powers for the entire six months he was in the hospital. He was comatose on a hospital bed for six months, and doesn’t seem to have been in danger from any of the other Powers even once. If I was Melanie, or Basira, or Martin, for that matter, I would probably have a hard time looking at Jon and not thinking about how much better he seems to have had it. And now he’s come back, only dubiously human? I’d be ready to be done with him, too. I mean, I love Jonathan Sims the Disaster Man, but if I was occupying the same universe as him, at this point I’d have serious reservations about whether or not I’d still want to be associated with him.

- I’m at the point where I think I can construct a timeline of events regarding the teaser. I think the teaser took place right after the attack by the Flesh two months prior to this episode. Martin’s been made an offer by Peter Lukas: work for me more closely, and I’ll guarantee you and your coworkers a certain level of protection. He’s thinking it over at Jon’s bedside, Peter calls, and Martin accepts the offer. Martin, like Melanie, makes a choice (though probably more consciously than Melanie’s choice, since it is to me at best unclear as to how much Melanie understands about what’s happening to her) to work outside the system of the Eye to protect his coworkers. And if it doesn’t bite both of them in the ass, I will be amazed.

- Peter Lukas being an absentee boss does not surprise me. Peter Lukas disappearing staff does not surprise me. Whoosh makes me snicker.

- Can we just stop with the assumption that all laughter is a response to finding a situation humorous? Seriously, I think laughter as an involuntary response to culturally-inappropriate stimuli is a widely-known enough thing that we can stop snapping at people to stop laughing and take something seriously if they suddenly burst into laughter at the wrong time. If you snap at someone that “it isn’t funny,” you just look ignorant. Just. Saying.

- Here’s something from my notes: “Tape recorders really do just pop up out of nowhere; I begin to understand why we meet so few human agents of the Beholding.” Like, seriously. It fits pretty well with the Beholding, which is cruel, voyeuristic, and honestly kind of ineffectual, to just spawn tape recorders instead of putting too much effort into growing a large body of human/monstrous ambulatory agents. It’s almost funny, it’s so pathetic.

- Basira’s “play dead” is another reason I think she may just be done with Jon.

- I won’t go into quite as much detail about the statement. It is pretty distinctive for a few reasons. One is that the statement subject (but not the giver, since the subject is too passive a guy to even take the step of talking to the Institute), Gregory Cox, provides another parallel for Jon. This time, we see a parallel for Jon in the form of a man who got sucked into supernatural shenanigans unawares and was after that point unwilling to really think about what that meant, and what he was involved in. Even when confronted with someone in the process of turning into a spider and begging him for help, he seriously tries to play it off as the person having had “an unfortunate condition.” That’s Jon’s S1 “willful ignorance that flies in the face of all logic” to a tee. And Jon, as best as I can tell, hasn’t really thought much about what it means that he’s involved with the Beholding, that he’s responsible for hurting people in the name of the Beholding. He’s quite like Cox, in that respect.

- So anyways, Cox is an incredibly passive man who is hired by a woman who, from her description (very thin, has clearly suffered grievous head trauma at some point in her life) and her association with the Web, is almost certainly Annabelle Cane, to make a website. A very basic, very simple website with weird coding that includes strings of people’s names, and a very long, impossible to memorize url name that changes every few weeks. A website called ‘Chelicerae.’

@agnesmontague and @flo-nelja have clarified both the spelling of ‘chelicerae’ and what they are. They’re the mouth parts of a spider. They’re the jaws of a spider. So when you enter this website, you are entering the jaws of the spider.

You tell a story to the “story-spinner”, about the worst event of your life. And if your story satisfies the story-spinner, you will be rewarded with the death of someone you have singled out. We don’t know what happens if your story doesn’t satisfy. It probably isn’t anything good.

Every few weeks, Cox was asked to code strange things into the website. Strings of meaningless words, bits and pieces of poetry, and a different name, every time. With everything taken in context, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to assume that he was literally coding someone’s horrific death into the website.

Eventually, it gets out that Cox has some involvement in this lethal urban legend, and he starts to get emails begging him to make it stop, demanding to know what’s happening to them, pleading for forgiveness and mercy. The “Bring them back” especially stuck with me. Cox has become the instrument of so many people’s suffering, and he refuses to face it, refuses to face up to what it means that he’s become involved with something very weird, and very dangerous. Like I said, he’s very like Jon, in this way.

- Cox has since vanished, almost a year after the statement was given. As this statement took place before Gertrude died, and would have been fairly current and potentially urgent, I do wonder at her not doing anything about it—especially since the presence of a story-spinner potentially suggests an overlap with the Beholding. I guess it may be like Jon thinks, and Gertrude never knew it had been given.

- The real kicker of this statement, though, is the supplementary document attached to it: a list of the names of the people Cox added into the website’s code. Several of them are the names of statement-givers, including Carlos Vittery. Yeah, suddenly what happened to him doesn’t seem nearly as random as it used to.

- Jon is finally facing up to the fact that he was always a bit of a shitty boss. Whether or not he actually learns something from it is anyone’s guess.

- My verdict: unless whatever Peter Lukas and Martin are working on is literally a plan to stop the Watcher’s Crown, these people do not have a chance in hell of stopping the Watcher’s Crown. They literally cannot pull themselves together fast enough. The Watcher’s Crown will go through, and we’ll see what the world is like when one of the Powers has come through the interstice—and dragged hangers-on with it. Then, the Archival staff, if they’re still in any state to do so, will go about trying to mitigate or reverse the effects. Should be fun.

[asimbelmyne]

A Forget-Me-Not in the Fork in the Road

Fandom: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi

Pairing: Kylo Ren/Rey

A03 Link

Summary: He'd wait at the fork in the road almost everyday, tethering his horse to an old apple tree beyond the fence row, biding his time until he'd catch a glimpse of her hair in the distance, the swish of her pale dress, or the dying echo of her voice on the breeze, taunting his ears. She didn't expect anything less.

A/N: For SilverNyte, who wondered when I'd try my hand at something lengthier. This is my first attempt at a multi-chaptered story in a very, very long time. It won't be terribly long because I lack the patience required for such things, but my fondness for Reylo should keep me going. I'd like to thank everyone for giving me the courage to continue writing! Thank you for embarking on this journey with me. I hope that you'll love it as much as I will! 

Few people could boast of having heard Rey sing, and she was desperate to keep it that way. Her voice was soft and lilting, taking flight like a bird in search of the sky, ascending beyond sight until her body felt as empty as a cage. She sang for herself, crafting stories out of thin air, allowing each phrase to slip from her tongue like honey, thick with a sweetness so enthralling she often felt compelled to carry on out of sheer delight. Hoarse from overuse, she'd trip over her melodies, bypassing barbed notes as though they were nothing more than pebbles, musical obstacles that required little consideration. Rey's voice had become her constant companion, a tool she'd utilize as often as possible in the company of her own ears, imagining a life for herself she'd never lead. Her world had never been anything but grey, a kaleidoscope of subdued tones that reminded her of Plutt's steely eyes and pert lips, his voice a listless rumble in the cacophony of his cotton mill, drowning out every strained syllable he'd scream at her. His words had always been meaningless, floating in the space above her head like snow, hungry for something other than harsh words, bruised hands, and bloody lips, spilling across her shoulders in an attempt to linger there, weighing her down. Plutt embodied everything Rey hadn't been able to achieve on her own. She had been working for him for as long as she could remember, and it had begun to show.

He had never been a considerate man, callous where he should have been empathetic, abusing the lives of those he'd taken under his wing for the sake of a few more bucks. Many had fallen ill in the time she had spent there, lungs full of cotton, hearts full of sorrow, and faces the colour of ash, greyer than Plutt's standards. Rey sang in spite of it all. She sang to muffle the sounds of their suffering, Plutt's uninspired cruelty, and the ache that had found its way into her heart, quelling her voice and everything she'd woven into it. She didn't know how to move beyond his blissful ignorance without ruining herself in the process. She hated his heartlessness, how he lived according to his own set of rules, ignoring his responsibilities as an administrator under the assumption that he'd risen above them, a king in his own right, presiding over a world as white as the cotton he coveted so much. Rey's hatred for him burned hotter than any flame she'd managed to kindle on her own, yet she hated herself for having to rely on him. Plutt had never made much of an effort to disguise his satisfaction with her displeasure, and she hated him all the more for it. He had spent hours sabotaging her work in the name of pride, taking advantage of everything she'd accomplished in an effort to line his pockets with silver she'd never see. She had spent most of her life handling a workload too large for one person alone, a brand Plutt had intentionally seared across her skin, embodying everything he felt she owed to him. Rey belonged to Plutt, but in name only. He had yet to take away her voice.

Rey paused, leaning down to pluck a flower from its place in the middle of the road, defying all odds in its determination to survive. She understood its resilience more than she cared to admit. The flower was blue, a forget-me-not that seemed too small inside of her hand, curling in on itself in an attempt to whither away. She brought it up to her eyes, sad that she had stunted its growth, yet happy that life continued to persist in the face of adversity, mirroring everything she had been forced to experience on Plutt's behalf. With nimble fingers, Rey tucked the flower into her hair, securing it in place as carefully as she could manage without some sort of ribbon, hoping that it wouldn't slip and fall away before she could enjoy it. Pretty things had a habit of dying on her.

Rey looked up when she was finished, almost resigned, making her way towards a fork in the road a few yards ahead. She had grown to hate that fork more than Plutt, more than cotton, and more than anything else she had come to associate with him. Few people could boast of having heard her sing, but Benjamin Solo was not one of them. He had caught her in the act more than once, determined to hear her voice again, but she refused to entertain his desires out of sheer indignation alone. He was aristocratic and wealthy, the nephew of Luke Skywalker and the son of Lady Organa, a family rich in land and in name. He had decided to neglect his familial pursuits in an effort to pave his own way in life, allowing the weight of his ambition to take hold of almost everything he had once held dear. He was cold and entitled, lonely for a man who had often boasted of his connections in the company of better people, yet relatable in a way she was reluctant to acknowledge. She hated his eyes in particular. They were a deep brown in colour, the sheen of wet leaves in autumn after it had rained, saturated with feelings he refused to voice in the presence of anyone but himself. He thought her presumptuous, she was sure, but their acquaintance continued to persevere, strengthening over time like a fine wine, giving her small glimpses into the soul of the man he had hidden away. He should have known better, but he didn't seem to care a great deal about class. He'd wait at the fork in the road almost everyday, tethering his horse to an old apple tree beyond the fence row, biding his time until he'd catch a glimpse of her hair in the distance, the swish of her pale dress, or the dying echo of her voice on the breeze, taunting his ears. She didn't expect anything less.

She rounded the corner and there he was, leaning against the fence row, apple in hand. He had taken a bite out of it and was chewing thoughtfully, maintaining eye contact until she began to feel uncomfortable. He liked the fire in her eyes, how she'd straiten like a bowstring under his gaze, refusing to look away until his hold on her had vanished. She hated the severity of it, ignoring the magnitude of his presence in favour of other things, like the apple in his hand or the way her dress felt against her skin, scratchy and hot in afternoon sun, sticking to her legs instead of falling strait. It was a game she had never taken joy in, yet she continued to participate out of necessity rather than obligation, waiting for the day he'd finally let her walk home in peace. She took another step forward, ignoring how his eyes flitted across her face in curiosity, trailing down her neck, into the folds of her hair, and across the curves of her body. His eyes lingered in places they had no right to, but she had grown accustomed to his impropriety, especially in moments like this. When they were alone, living beyond the boundaries their social class had made between them, they had never been anything but themselves. He was impish and she was impassioned, arguing until her throat had gone dry, unafraid to voice her opinions in the presence of a man she considered beneath her notice. He must have thought her crazy at some point, but he had never brought it up. They were similar in some ways, yet completely different in others. He continued to linger and she continued to show up at the fork in the road without fail. She didn't want to know why.

"You've forgotten something," he told her, taking another bite out of his apple.

Rey narrowed her eyes, folding her fingers into the fabric of her dress in an attempt to stifle the scream making its way up her throat. The juice from his apple dribbled down his chin and he wiped it away with his other hand, watching the way her nose scrunched up in distaste, an obvious indicator of her feelings towards him.

"Ah, yes. I should have turned left instead of right," she said, ignoring how his eyes seemed to light up in amusement. "You're such a gentleman."

"That's a little harsh, even for you."

"Honesty hurts," she said, frowning as he tossed his apple into the bushes.

He turned around to face her, reaching out to touch her cheek, hooking his fingers under her chin so that he could look into her eyes. Her pupils widened in distress, mimicking her state of mind. She had never been this close to him before. His eyes were darker than she had originally thought, glinting in the space between them like a lacquer, the tint of soil, bark, and gravel after a rainstorm, rough, callous, and coarse. He continued to look at her until she had turned a different colour beneath his hands, flushing a dusky red in the afternoon light, staining the skin below his fingers like an apple, one he hadn't thrown away just yet. He looked resigned, stoic when he should have been rude, content to simply stare into her eyes instead of resuming their feud, memorizing every line and curve for his own perverse purposes. She wished he'd move away, remembering their roles in life and how inappropriate he had become in the span of a few minutes, ignoring every rule decorum had drilled into his brain. He had always been insistent, demanding her attention more than once in their shared history, but this was different. For the first time since meeting him, she was afraid of what he could do. He'd never hurt her, but the weight of his fingers on her skin spoke of a desire so restrained she could barely breathe without choking, meeting his eyes in silent admonition, praying he'd see reason.

"Since we're being honest, I sometimes wonder how much it would take to break you," he said, running his fingers along the length of her jaw, curling a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I don't know whether you're brave or stupid half the time, but you're something else."

His fingers brushed against the shell of her ear and she cringed, trying to ignore how she felt as he threaded his fingers through her hair. He smelled as sweet as the apple he had tossed away, a strange contrast that made her shiver in anticipation, wishing he'd relinquish his hold on her yet again. They were always coming together like this, drawn to one another like gravity, waiting for the inevitable collide. The way he touched her had become dangerous. She watched with bated breath as he leaned in a little closer, carding his fingers through her hair until he found the forget-me-not she'd placed in there earlier, shifting his hands so that he was holding it in front of her face, inches from her mouth. The amusement in his eyes was a palpable thing. She could feel it in the space he'd made between them, brushing against her skin as fervently as his breath, bombarding her with an onslaught of anger she could barely contain. He had the audacity to smile in response. The sight of it took her breath away.

"You owe me a song," he said, twirling the flower between his thumb and forefinger, refusing to break eye contact. "You keep forgetting."

Her mouth fell open and he laughed, tucking the flower behind his own ear in mockery of its previous location.

"My voice is of little concern to you," she stated coldly, reaching out to retrieve what he'd so rudely taken, but he grabbed her wrist in retaliation, hard enough to elicit a gasp, but loose enough to cause little pain.

"I expect no less from you at this point, but one day you'll crack. You know as well as I do that I always get what I want. You're no different."

"Ha! I'll never belong to you, or to anyone for that matter. I'm beyond your reach."

"Tell that to Unkar Plutt," he said, gripping her wrist a little tighter.

A part of her heart seemed to freeze in her chest, chilling her to the bone. His position in life had given him a great deal of power over others, requiring little effort on his part, but he had gone too far this time, crossing the line she'd made between them so long ago. Plutt saw value in almost everything. She had lived according to his rules for most of her life, acting under the assumption that she'd always return to his white world, a world where machinery mirrored her place in life. Ben was offering her freedom, freedom in the guise of a gilded cage. To forego one form of slavery in exchange for another was cruel, and she hated him for it. A life at his side would require too much sacrifice, destroying everything she had fought for in the span of a heartbeat, spoiling her sense of self. His reasons for wanting her were entirely selfish, yet not unwarranted. He had found something in her that he had lost within himself, something he craved for, and something she'd never completely understand. His feelings for her were complicated, bursting from behind his eyes like a forest fire, hot, intense, and scalding, but not as shallow as he had lead her to believe. He wore his anger like a mask, hiding behind false pretences in an attempt to distance himself from how he really felt, pretending that she was an object instead of a person out of shame, out of guilt, and out of frustration. They had spent so much time with one another that he could hardly say otherwise. He didn't care about her voice, as lovely as it was. He had wanted her and only her from the very start and she knew exactly why.

"You need to leave," she said, trying to tug her wrist from his grasp.

He released his hold on her, slipping the forget-me-not into the front of her dress as slowly as possible, gauging her reaction. His fingers strayed over her bodice hesitantly, as if he were afraid of what he could do if she'd let him, but he moved away instead, reaching for the reins of his horse. He pulled himself onto his saddle and began to ride away, leaving her standing beside the apple tree like a druid, frozen in place. His eyes continued to torment her long after he had gone, a dark smudge beyond the fork in the road that had started it all, ruining any hope of remaining true to the people they had been before their encounter. He had changed her.

Rey's hand shook as she grasped the flower like a lifeline, nearly crushing it.

Somehow she'd endure.

[woozapooza]

Poldark: The Verdict

THIS POST IS SO LONG OH MY GOD

I haven’t read the books so idk how much of the stuff I’m praising or criticizing comes from the books.

Really wish Ross hadn’t raped Elizabeth, folks. Really cannot get past that. But other than that, it was a good show. Beautiful visuals, memorable characters. I have seen a lot of criticisms I agreed with and a lot I didn’t.

Uh, rapist tendencies aside, I’m not a big fan of Ross. Obviously I don’t want my protagonist to be perfect, but sometimes it felt like Ross wasn’t even really trying all that hard to improve. His tendency to keep Demelza in the dark is really annoying. He doesn’t tell her when her BROTHERS ARE ON DEATH ROW. He sneaks off to duel Monk Adderley and just before the duel starts he whispers like “forgive me Demelza” or something like that, so you know he knows he’s doing something wrong BUT HE DOES IT ANYWAY. And even in the very last episode he’s sneaking around with Tess and the French guys, leaving Demelza to think he’s lost interest in her. I’ve only seen the show once so I don’t have the best grasp of everything that happened, but based on my limited memory I feel like Ross doesn’t really make an effort to change very often. Even when he comes home after his night with Elizabeth, he seems more concerned with how Demelza is reacting than with the fact that he betrayed her.

DWIGHT BEST CHARACTER DWIGHT BEST CHARACTER DWIGHT BEST CHARACTER. I liked that his indiscretion with Keren Daniel (which, by the way, he never made excuses for and which he regretted because it was morally wrong—take notes, Ross—actually, I might make a separate post about this) came up in the finale. It felt like the show was saying “this guy doesn’t just exist to be friends with Ross and take care of people and display good values, he’s his own character with his own journey.” Sure, it’s a little weird that Caroline would bring it up in the context of her jealousy of Kitty, when he wasn’t being unfaithful with Keren because he wasn’t in a relationship at the time, but hey, sometimes people say things that don’t make sense when they’re in their feelings, and besides, the point (from a plot standpoint, not from Caroline’s POV) was to spur Dwight to confront Ross about acting in ways that hurt people. And what a satisfying confrontation! Sure, it would have been more satisfying in a context in which Dwight wasn’t working with incomplete information and therefore Ross would actually be convinced to change his behavior in the present moment, but “Ask George. He lives with [the consequences of your actions] every day” was a real oh snap moment. Dwight is so much better than Ross. As I’ve said before, why isn’t the show called Enys?

George second best character. WHAT a dude! WIthout reiterating everything I said in this post, the show was definitely unfair to him. He is not as evil compared to Ross as Debbie Horsfield wants us to think. I wish his s5 arc had been a little less all over the place. He’s having delusions of Elizabeth, he’s abused by Doctor Whatsit to the point that he tries to kill himself, he bonds with Dwight, he apparently forgets that he was ever mentally ill (???), he’s working with the Slavery Guys, he can’t condone collusion with the French, he kind of neglects Valentine but then in the finale he’s like VALENTINE IS MY SON NOT YOURS, at the very last minute he has some genuinely positive interactions with Ross…? That’s a lot to process. Well, taken in isolation, his scenes in the finale were SO good. WHEN HE SUDDENLY SHOWS UP AT THE DUEL AND SHOOTS HANSON AND THE FRENCH GUY! WOW! I found it hard to explain why Hanson and Merceron’s complete lack of integrity was such a dealbreaker for him. Unless I’ve forgotten something, that could have been better foreshadowed. But still! I feel like it’s basically the law that if you’re going to such a consistent, long-lasting, not to mention interesting antagonist, by the last season of the show you have to give them at least a little redemption, not because no bad person ever stays bad all their lives (I’m not talking about full redemption anyway) but because it’s just boring to not follow through on the promise of the character showing some decency. Despite what some reviews I’ve read have implied, George was never a one-dimensional villain to me and I would have been really disappointed if his dynamic with Ross ended where it began.

Caroline third best character. It was nice that she and Dwight got to do something new in the final season, but their conflict all felt so forced, both Caroline’s bitterness and Dwight’s impatience. While I was relieved that Caroline’s jealousy didn’t play out as the tired old “oh no my heterosexual partner is paying attention to a person of the opposite sex, there can be no innocuous reason for that” trope, I found it hard to buy that Caroline contrived her jealousy of Kitty because she was afraid to open her heart to another child. That’s an incredibly elaborate excuse not to have sex with Dwight. I guess I can buy it slightly more if I assume that her insecurity wasn’t 100% feigned...but in that case, I still have a hard time buying that Caroline would suddenly be all that distressed about her husband seeing her as vapid and sheltered. Also, I was disappointed that it was implied that Caroline wanted to have more children after Sarah died. It had been refreshing to have a female character in a period drama who was not the maternal type. I know Dwight loves kids but he’s got friends who have kids that he can borrow.

The Ross/Demelza aspect of the first three episodes was super rushed. They had, like, no chemistry for the first two episodes, then in the third episode they have sex AND get married?! Is this really how we want to introduce our main couple?

One thing I respect about this show is that it frequently surprised me with its willingness to have things go irreparably wrong. For example, I thought Francis wouldn’t drown; I thought Geoffrey Charles and Cecily would get married; I thought Morwenna would get custody of John Conan. But none of those things happened. The show can be sappy, but it’s not that soft.

I respect the show trying to deal with mental illness in a way that’s both sensitive and historically plausible, but the results were mixed. You have that wonderful storyline about Caroline not understanding that Dwight has PTSD and Hugh coming along to help him process, and then at the episode either Hugh or Dwight says that while Dwight isn’t fully healed, he’s moving in the right direction...then after that Dwight never shows symptoms again, and the only time I can think of it even being mentioned was when he was trying to reach out to Morwenna. (Side note, I was sad that Morwenna shot down his attempt to relate. I understand that his trauma was not identical to hers, but it would have been nice if later on she had been like “actually, can we talk some things out?” Fanfic idea, anyone?) On the other hand, Dwight’s interest in mental health in season five is a nice bit of continuity—not explicitly linked to his bout with PTSD, but I know from interviews with Luke Norris that the connection was very intentional. In Morwenna’s case, her trauma lasts longer than an episode, which is a step up from Dwight’s case, but letting go of John Conan and becoming ready for another child apparently cures her fear of physical intimacy all at once. Finally, George’s delusions of Elizabeth...give way to amnesia? That was weird, but his s5 storyline allows my main man Dwight to be the voice of justice and compassion.

Apparently unpopular opinion, but I liked the inclusion of the Ned storyline. I liked the concept of Ross coming face-to-face with his own flaws in Ned, even if I feel like he didn’t really use that experience to change much.

Tess was a pretty pointless character. She kind of reminded me of Sarah Bunting from Downton Abbey in that her unpleasant personality is used to make her political opinions look bad. Except at least Sarah was actually sincere in her opinions and not just trying to get in her married boss’s pants. Idk which storyline is more annoying. But I actually liked the part in the finale where Demelza expressed sympathy for Tess. It shows progress from her attitude toward Elizabeth back in the day.

I know it’s in the books but LOVEDAY IS A TERRIBLE NAME WTF DRAKE

Cornwall pretty.

Overall grade: B+. I really wish I could give it an A-, but, well the main character is a rapist but isn’t treated as such. Ugh, let’s not end this post on such a heavy note. DWIGHT BEST CHARACTER DWIGHT BEST CHARACTER DWIGHT BEST CHARACTER

Oh, that reminds me! Anyone want to recommend me any juicy Warlenys fics? :)

[bangtancity]

TOP TEN MARKSON MOMENTS

Long post ahead y’all but this was a lot of fun to go back and reminiscence about markson and their antics together. I hope all of y’all enjoy! 

Also, please remember that these are my own personal opinions and that they shouldn’t be taken literally or seriously. But if you ever wanna come talk markson with me, I’m always ready :) ((Note: All gifs should be linked directly but videos and pictures with have physical links above them because I’m not sure how to link those to their respective tumblrs– if your post is here and you want your content removed bc you don’t like the linking, msg me and I’ll take it down.)) I’m a litlle late but here we go!!

1. This was one of the ones I already had in mind ;) I just love it bc it’s such a weird situation to be in but Mark, ever the gentleman, just takes it in stride and keeps his hands to himself. I love how near Jackson gets to Mark and if that isn’t the simplest testament of how (pun coming) close they are, I don’t know what is. In all honesty, if Mark really wanted out, a simple hand on the back or a squeeze on the shoulder or even just shifting out of the way would have sufficed but he stays and although his face is stoic, his eyes are constantly on Jackson. LOVE IT!

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

2. SOFT!! My heart always swells a bit when I see this picture!! It’s natural and pure and they’re both enjoying this moment and it’s evident on their faces. I personally think jumping around puts a smile on most peoples faces and if other people, friends, are doing it with you, then there’s no way that isn’t going to make you shine. SO, jumping+BFF+concert adrenaline+love= BIG A__ SMILES !! Oh they’re also cuties so there’s that factor too.

LINK: http://fyeahmarkson.tumblr.com/post/136342100342

3. TBH I GOT DISTRACTED WITH THIS ONE AND REWATCHED THIS SECTION OF THE REAL GOT7– anyways…THIS IS PROBS MY ALL-TIME FAVE, THAT I FORGOT ABOUT. So the whole episode itself was hilarious with got7 and we got some markson moments sprinkled in but THIS, THIS takes the cake. I mean who doesn’t want to see their otp get this close to kissing? I love Mark’s hands cradling the back of Jackson’s head. I’d like to believe that Jackson stretched his neck up a bit more when Mark touched the other side of the paper but I’m not sure in this gif bc its quick (maybe I’ll add another one after I publish this). Like omg still can’t believe this happened though :D

4.  Ok all the Got2Day Vapp stuff was gold and I loved the fact that we got to see everyone but of course my faves Mark and Jackson had the best one ;) It was cute and relaxed and I just love them in light/soft colors. Also #no#personal#space !! The video is just a short moment but it is super cute and I love them smiling at eachother bc heart palpitations~ OH but the second gif is MY FAVORITE bc it’s Mark just watching Jackson talk and he just looks so content and caring and its just one of those moments ok

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

LINK: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/152683520387/jackson-lays-on-the-table-and-mark-laughs 

5. I could rant FOR YEARS about this but idk if tumblr has a character limit or no.. BUT SERIOUSLY THIS IS JUST ICONIC!! It was actually the 1st to pop into my mind bc it was my icon (no joke for that one sorry) for a month I think? ANYWHO, I just straight up love this. They’re close. Jackson’s shirtless. Said Jackson is pressed along Mark’s backside. Said Mark is very very very smiley. Like Jackson could’ve chosen someone else- JB was kinda close I think- but he chose bae and got all up in bae’s business. And the fact that he’s partially restraining Mark? Keeping him flush with his body and leaning in to talk to him? My heart cannot keep up, this some tachycardia **** right here omg seriously!! Is it hot for anyone else in here or is it just them? *wink* 

PICTURE LINK: http://bangtancity.tumblr.com/post/149470443176/fyeah-markson-please-tell-me-again-that-markson

VIDEO LINK 1: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/149317913961/shirtless-jackson-hugging-mark-from-behind

VIDEO LINK 2: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/149277241258/two-angles

6. GO WATCH THE VIDEO PLEASE. Like the caption is spot on in my mind and I couldn’t agree more on the fact that it looked like Jackson was going to do something intimate and then he hesitated and looked at the camera!! UGH. seriously a fave moment bc its like what were you gonna do? huh?! You can’t not agree with the fact that that boy was playing around behind Mark. And then there’s Mark’s small smile and that little thing he does with his mouth, which reminded me of someone keeping a smirk in check. Oooooh there’s def something going on there and I wish I knew what it was!!

LINK: http://marksonforlife.tumblr.com/post/151033384652/i-already-posted-this-but-ill-post-it-again

I couldn’t find a gif of this video D: but I found some others from the same video (they’re faves but this ^^^ moment is the one I really cared for)

7. ANOTHER VIDEO!! 9/10 markson shippers should remember this badboy right here. I don’t even remember what video this moment came from but even if I see a still I freak out bc this is literal gold. One of the best shows of touchy!Mark and cuddly!Jackson ever. Seriously, Mark kept putting his hands on Jackson and moving subtly, and then he even has the nerve to lean into Jackson further to whisper something-BOY!! And then there’s Jackson who decides it’s perfectly ok to rest his head on Mark’s chest all casual like he’s done it a thousand times before. And one moment I really love to see is Jackson noticing Mark playing with J’s bracelet, looking at him, and then Mark moves his hand away so quickly like he’s been caught. its cute. don’t fight me on this. Also I got newly-dating vibes from this: not sure how much actual touching is safe, leaning into one another, glued at the hip, private jokes. Markson or never ;) I’ll add a gif when I find one!

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

LINK: http://awesomemeowww.tumblr.com/post/128284251380/markson-httpifttt1hebms6

8. This picture satisfies like 3 things from my otp goggles-on checklist: smiling towards the other, touching, and suggestive posturing. Don’t tell me that this doesn’t look like Jackson’s about to pull Mark in and plant one on him! The positioning of Jackson’s hands make me wanna punch something bc who puts their hands there unless its for a headbutt or a kiss?? And lemme tell you that I’m 99% sure that he’s not about to headbutt Mark. (ALSO ARMS 4 DAYS JACKSON OVER HERE #hot hot hot) Back to the smiling and touching and pose- they’re close for one thing, and then Mark’s about to go into hug mode, there’s full eye contact going on, and what a beautiful smile!! It seems so loving and happy that I just can’t deal with them rn. I have a link to a gif, Jackson jumping into Mark’s arms :) , so I’ll add that in later!

PHOTO LINK: https://dani-okem.tumblr.com/post/160701529358

9. Ok but I really think they fit together so well sometimes~ Like their heights aren’t monumentally different but it’s enough that they look good together. SO there’s that sly BUTT tap and then the blessed hand moves up to the lower back (i like ur style boy) and eventually falls off the waist when they stop in front of the fans. Mark is totally guiding Jackson here and it seems like he’s 100% a-ok with it. Oh and there’s definitely some smiles going on here! I wish we had more concerts but the fanmeets are still great but there’s something about concerts that really let otps shine.

(Make sure to click the gif to see the whole gif post!)

10. VIDEO— ITS THE FINAL ONE Y’ALL AND ITS A FAVE BC I’VE BROUGHT IT UP A FEW TIMES. (lol I still get pissed every time I remember that I posted the screenshots on my old baeksoo account instead of this one but oh whale:) ) anyways I just love love love this bc it was so fleeting but so memorable. I know Mark was running around messing with everyone during this time (and that he did something similar to JB) but this was something special for Jackson. There was NO SPACE between them and their heads were so so so close. And then there were lots of giggles and smiling and DID YOU NOTICE THAT JACKSON HITCHED HIS LEG UP WHICH IN TURN BROUGHT MARK’S LEG HIGHER AND BY DEDUCTION, THEIR HIPS CLOSER?? bc I did. bc I know that. and it’s true. AND THEN AS MARK (the little tease) LEFT, JACKSON TRIED TO KEEP HIM THERE!! GRABBED AT HIS WAIST!!  I just want to know what on earth was going through Mark’s head when he decided to go and lay flush against his group member. seriously tho. but 11/10 would recommend them recreating this, in the presence of a solid 1080p filming camera preferably. 

PIC LINK: http://bangtancity.tumblr.com/post/144433607756/ss-baeksoo-you-can-see-that-jackson-brought-up

VIDEO LINK: http://awesomemeowww.tumblr.com/post/127118208761/jackson-doesn-t-want-mark-to-leave-so-he-was-about

[micaramel]

Artist: Nicolas Ceccaldi

Venue: Meyer Kainer, Vienna

Exhibition Title: Knock knock

Date: January 17 – March 7, 2020

Click here to view slideshow

Full gallery of images, press release and link available after the jump.

Images:

Images courtesy of Galerie Meyer Kainer, Vienna. Installation images by Marcel Koehler. Photos by Kati Göttfried.

Press Release:

Knock knock is an exhibition by Nicolas Ceccaldi about Joker, a 2019 American psychological thriller film directed and produced by Todd Phillips and starring Joaquin Phoenix. Set in early-1980s Gotham City, the film provides an origin story for Batman’s infamous arch nemesis never seen before on the big screen, following Arthur Fleck (Joaquin Phoenix), a social outcast and aspiring stand-up comedian who lives alone with his mother and who suffers from many mental illnesses including one which causes him to laugh uncontrollably when he is nervous. The film embarks us in Arthur’s descent into insanity and nihilism, inspiring a downward spiral of crime and violence, setting off a revolutionary uprising in the decaying metropolis; a path which brings him face-to-face with his alter-ego: the Joker. Joker is not only a gritty character study, but also a broader cautionary tale. The film and its main character are treated figuratively and metaphorically as subject matter, making the exhibition both an homage and a commentary. Every artwork takes various themes, narrative tropes, or visual elements from the film, and references them either in the form of personal interpretations or direct quotation. The exhibition title references the opening of a popular joke format (“knock knock – who’s there?”) a variation of which is delivered by Arthur Fleck in his Joker make-up during an awkward appearance on a talk show hosted by Murray Franklin (Robert De Niro), a TV presenter he idolizes. Despite having repeatedly rehearsed this moment in his living room and in his fantasies, Joker’s timing is off and after tediously rummaging through his “joke book”, he finally delivers the opening line “knock knock” prompting the host to quip “and you had to look that up?” Everything must go is an aluminum copy with added wings of a coroplast sign held by Arthur Fleck outside a shop dressed as a clown-for-hire in the opening scene of the film. A group of youths subsequently steals the sign and break it over his head. His boss not only doesn’t believe his story, but demands Arthur pay for the missing sign: an injustice that confirms Arthur’s impression that the world really is out to get him. All I Have are Negative Thoughts is an oil portrait of Joaquin Phoenix as Arthur Fleck in a scene in where his social service worker asks him if he ever has any negative thoughts to which he answers “all I have are negative thoughts.” Make obzervashins about audieense, is the abstract rendition of a clown face, with the foam nose held up by iron wires shaped into the outline of a face. The title is a quote taken from Arthur’s notebook, in a list of things he should be doing in order to succeed as a stand-up comedian. Besides making “observations about [the] audience” he also lists “dressing casual but nice” “making eye contact” or “slick hair.” Always make funny obzervashins is a title taken from the same list. This piece is a store-bought print modified with cut-and-paste letters to spell out one of the film’s memorable quotes, “I just hope that my death makes more cents than my life.” This pun, authored by the aspiring comedian, is read out loud by Arthur’s visibly concerned social worker as she flips through his notebook. On his way out of his workplace after being fired, Arthur stops halfway down the stairs beneath a sign that reads “Don’t Forget To Smile.” He then reaches out with a black marker and crosses the words “forget to” only leaving “Don’t Smile.” Werk The Croud is a “combine-painting” where a clown face is seen smiling while a plastic toy gun is pointed to its head, against a mustard background. The misspelt title is another quote from Arthur’s notes while the piece is an allegory of the concept of tragicomedy, a dramatic genre that blends aspects of tragedy and comedy. 1980s credits displays the Warner Communications logo used in the 1970s and early 1980s, in tune with the film’s 1981 vintage aesthetic.  The logo covers an urban landscape meant to represent Gotham, approximating Joker’s opening credits. Disclaimer is made of a laminated card floating across a dark green background. It is assumed that Arthur carries such a card on him at all time to clarify the situation in case he suddenly bursts into a fit of laughter. The card explains that he suffers from a condition akin to what is known as Pseudobulbar affect (PBA), a type of emotional disturbance characterized by episodes of laughter or crying without an apparent motivating stimulus. Video recordings of such symptoms were studied by Joaquin Phoenix in preparation for his role.

Nicolas Ceccaldi (b. 1983, Montreal, Canada) lives and works in New York. Recent exhibitions include Going to the Movies, Haus der Kunst, Oslo (2019); The Stroke of Midnight, Greene Naftali, New York (2019); Hymne à la Joie, Le Consortium, Dijon (2017); Les Chemins de la Honte, House of Gaga, Mexico (2016); Red Wine, Kunstverein Muenchen, Munich (2014); Wearables, Real Fine Arts, New York (2012).

Link: Nicolas Ceccaldi at Meyer Kainer

Contemporary Art Daily is produced by Contemporary Art Group, a not-for-profit organization. We rely on our audience to help fund the publication of exhibitions that show up in this RSS feed. Please consider supporting us by making a donation today.

from Contemporary Art Daily http://bit.ly/3ak8eM9

[mastcomm]

Your Tuesday Briefing – The New York Times

Viral ailment spreads in Asia, feeding fears of pandemic

The coronavirus causing a new respiratory illness is now capable of spreading from person to person, a prominent Chinese scientist said on Monday, as the authorities reported a third death and doubled the number of cases from a day earlier, including in Beijing and southern China for the first time.

Cases have also been reported in Japan, South Korea and Thailand.

With hundreds of millions of people in China expected to travel for the Lunar New Year holiday, which begins Friday, public health officials are working to forestall a major outbreak. Some experts have suggested that there are probably far more cases of the illness than China’s authorities have disclosed.

How Boeing’s role in a deadly crash ‘got buried’

When a Boeing 737 crashed near Amsterdam in 2009, killing nine people, the accident was blamed on Dutch pilots. But Boeing’s mistakes also contributed, including its design choices and faulty safety assessments.

A review by The New York Times of evidence from the 2009 accident, some of it previously confidential, reveals striking parallels with recent Boeing crashes that killed hundreds — and resistance by a team of Americans, including Boeing and federal officials, to a full airing of findings that later proved relevant to Boeing’s Max plane.

An expert commissioned by the Dutch Safety Board to analyze the 2009 crash said it “represents such a sentinel event that was never taken seriously.” His study was never made public.

Comparisons: In the 2009 and Max accidents, the failure of a single sensor caused systems to misfire, with catastrophic results, and Boeing did not provide pilots with information that could have helped them react to the malfunction.

Quotable: The Turkish Airlines crash “should have woken everybody up,” said one aviation safety expert.

Times editorial board endorses two candidates

The board, which is separate from the Times newsroom, announced that it’s supporting both Amy Klobuchar and Elizabeth Warren for the Democratic presidential nomination.

The dual endorsement is a departure from convention. The board says that it is meant to address the party’s “realist” and “radical” models.

While arguing that President Trump must be defeated, the board did not take a position on which was the best path forward for Democrats, writing that both “warrant serious consideration.” Read the endorsement here, which distills the themes and challenges of the election coming in November.

Background: The board’s 15 members met with nine candidates and released full transcripts of their interviews.

Behind the scenes: The endorsement process has typically been opaque, but this year, our TV show “The Weekly” was invited in. Our deputy editorial page editor explained the process and the decision to open it up to cameras.

Australia can’t catch a break

Thousands of people were left without power as baseball-size hailstones pummeled major cities in the country’s southeast over the past two days, the latest turn in a summer of extreme weather.

Although a drought — along with the devastating wildfires it has fed — is far from over, thunderstorms have lashed Sydney, Canberra and Melbourne.

What’s next: Meteorologists warned that the storms would continue for the next few days. Hot and windy conditions are expected to return to many parts of New South Wales later this week.

If you have 20 minutes, this is worth it

Helping to exploit Angola’s wealth

Isabel dos Santos, above center, Africa’s richest woman, often took cuts of her country’s wealth through decrees signed by her father. Global banks, bound by strict rules about politically connected clients, largely declined to work with her family.

But global consulting firms embraced her business, helping her amass a fortune in a country hobbled by corruption and park it abroad, according to a trove of documents obtained by the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists and shared with The Times. The vast empire stretches from Hong Kong to the U.S.

Here’s what else is happening

India: As the country seeks to rein in foreign technology companies and international news outlets, its leaders have pressured Jeff Bezos, who owns one of each: Amazon and The Washington Post.

How warm was your town?: Scientists said that 2019 was the second-warmest year on record, and an AccuWeather database of 3,500 cities around the world showed that more than 80 percent experienced higher-than-normal average temperatures last year. See how your city compares.

China: Video of a pig being tied up and shoved off a bungee tower at a theme park in Chongqing has sparked outrage in a country where animal rights activism is a relatively new phenomenon.

Snapshot: Above, mounds of plastic junk on the outskirts of Beijing. In an effort to combat waste, China is banning the use of disposable foam cutlery and nonbiodegradable plastic bags in major cities by the end of this year, with broader bans to follow.

What we’re reading: This piece in Taste about a food specialty familiar to only a small subset of Italian-Americans. “It has come to my attention that some of you do not know the first blessed thing about lard bread,” tweeted our food critic Pete Wells. “Max [Falkowitz] is here to guide you into the light of lardy knowledge.”

Now, a break from the news

Cook: Vegetarian skillet chili is one of those pantry meals that you’ll memorize. (Our Five Weeknight Dishes newsletter has more recommendations.)

Read: The Chilean poet Pablo Neruda helped save over 2,000 refugees. Isabel Allende’s latest book, “A Long Petal of the Sea,” imagines two of them.

Smarter Living: Should you live out of a suitcase when you travel, or unpack your things? There are arguments for both.

And now for the Back Story on …

Cocktails

A hundred years ago this month, the U.S. embarked on a 13-year official prohibition on the “manufacture, sale or transportation of intoxicating liquors” anywhere within the country.

It didn’t go well.

Bootlegging liquor operations proliferated, as did the illicit bars known as speakeasies. And the drink of choice: the cocktail, which spread out the hooch or disguised its sometimes bad flavors. The boom far outlasted Prohibition. Sidecar, anyone?

Dave Wondrich, a drinks historian, tracked down the source of the word “cocktail.” In the second edition of his landmark reconstruction of mixed drinks, “Imbibe!,” he notes that prospective horse sellers would give old or droopy specimens a rectal dose of ginger to make them cock their tails — a younger, zippier appearance.

From there it was just a short jump to the zingy drinks that made humans perk up, at least at the start of their alcoholic forays.

That’s it for this briefing. See you next time.

— Melina

Thank you To Mark Josephson and Eleanor Stanford for the break from the news. Andrea Kannapell, the Briefings editor, wrote today’s Back Story. You can reach the team at briefing@nytimes.com.

P.S. • “The Daily” is off for the Martin Luther King holiday in the U.S. Try listening to the latest “Modern Love,” in which the actress Rebecca Hall reads an essay about dating while bipolar, the inspiration behind one of the episodes in the Modern Love TV series. • Here’s our Mini Crossword, and a clue: Point of a fable (five letters). You can find all our puzzles here. • The Times is always looking for talent. Check out our international and U.S. job postings.

from WordPress https://mastcomm.com/event/your-tuesday-briefing-the-new-york-times-7/

[beaverla-blog1]

“The Shining” (1980) Review

Welcome back! This is going to be the first full movie review. Hopefully you have already listened to Season 1 – Episode 2 of “Here’s Johnny” and heard what both Justin and I had to say on this film. I am so very happy that this was the first movie we reviewed, not only because it is a personal favorite, but Kubrick is such a brilliant filmmaker and there is so much to dissect with this film. So before we start the review, let’s discuss some of the more important notes about the development and production of this horror classic.

This movie is based off of the novel of the same name, written by Stephen King. After the commercial failure of his last film, Kubrick needed to make a film that would be more financially successful but that would also allow him to flex his artistic ability. He decided to do a horror film, and for inspiration he locked himself in his office with a stack of horror novels and started his way through them. According to his secretary, there were constant slams against the wall as Kubrick discarded whatever book he was reading because it was not what he was looking for. However, the slams stopped and Kubrick emerged hours later with “The Shining” in his hand. According to Kubrick himself, the reason he chose the text was that “there’s something inherently wrong with human personality. There’s an evil side to it. One of the things that horror stories can do is to show us the archetypes of the unconscious, we can see the dark without having to confront it directly” (from Stanley Kubrick: The Complete Films by Paul Duncan). Kubrick did take a lot of artistic variance from the book, and although this allowed him to leave a great deal more to interpretation it also upset some people, including King himself.

A fun note in regards to casting; Kubrick’s top choice was the man who eventually took the role, Jack Nicholson. Others who auditioned for the role included Robert DeNiro, Harrison Ford, and Robin Williams. It blows my mind to try and imagine this movie with Robin Williams playing Jack Torrance. Stephen King is on record saying that he would not have picked any of these actors (B105FM in 2007).

Principal photography took place over a year, and each day is said to have been extremely long. Kubrick is known for his meticulousness and getting the exact shot he sees in his head. This is where some of the stories about the tensions between the actors and Kubrick arise. Kubrick apparently made changes to the script almost daily, and for anyone who has ever acted before it is obvious how frustrating that can be. Nicholson stopped even reading the new scripts and would just memorize lines or improvise right before shooting a scene. Shelly Duvall had an even more difficult time. She and Kubrick constantly argued, over the script, over the delivery of her lines, and her overall acting skills. Allegedly this fighting became so severe that she became physically ill and even started seeing her hair fall out. The scene where Wendy finds Jack’s manuscript was shot many, many times. This was not only due to Kubrick looking for a specific acting performance from Duvall, but also because he had different manuscripts each in a different language and with that language’s version of “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” (from Chris Hooton at the Independent, January 2017).

“The Shining” was also one of the very first films to use ‘Steadicam’. Steadicam allows a camera operator to maintain a steady shot regardless of his movements or any rough terrain. Garret Brown, the inventor of the Steadicam, was very intrigued by what Kubrick was using his new technology for with this film. So much so, that Brown became heavily involved with the filming and still proclaims the master vision of what Kubrick sought to place on film (from the audio commentary on the 2007 DVD release). The final budget was $19 million and the film made $44.4 million in the box office.

Plot:

I am not going to go into an in-depth discussion of the plot of the film. If you want that, listen to the podcast, go to Wikipedia, or WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE! Needless to say, it’s a great film with a whole lot to discuss. First, I am going to highlight some pros for the film, and then I am going to look at some cons. The film is great. There is a reason why it’s not only considered one of the best horror films, but also one of the best overall films of all time. The script is tight, the acting is brilliant and the tension throughout is palpable. I have also found that the older I get, the more I start to understand what happens to Jack Torrance. When you watch this as a kid, his craziness is scary but hard to relate to. However, as you mature and life starts showing you its hand, it becomes apparent that it would not take too much to take a normal man and turn him crazy. This film is also my favorite kind of horror film, because of how easy it is to see a situation like this taking place in real life.

It is important to note that the plot is not perfect, and those imperfections are far more apparent when watching the film critically. The injury timeline is a little screwy. Wendy tells the doctor at the beginning of the film that Jack hurt Danny five months prior to the start of the movie. However, when Jack is telling the ghostly bartender Lloyd about why his wife hates him, he says the injury took place three years prior to the events in the film. Although it can be explained away that Jack is starting to lose his grip on reality and his view on time is screwed up. And Kubrick is not one to let an error like that fly. But it is never addressed as such and I truly believe it was an oversight. I also feel that Dick Halloran was wasted as a character. I truly don’t see the reason why they brought him all the way from Miami just to kill him. He doesn’t even get to interact with any of the characters and his arc never develops. The film would have been better off having some random forest ranger come up and see what was going on at The Overlook. The furry scene is another that I find out of place. There isn’t a lot of setup for it, and it doesn’t fit in with the rest of the ghostly sights Wendy is seeing as she flees the hotel. It is iconic, I just don’t think it is necessary. Next, I feel the use of the N word is unnecessary. It might be that living in 2018, the word is so far from normal context that when I heard it used in the film I was immediately taken out of the scene. I also don’t think they can even use the excuse “it was a different time” because the film was released in 1980 and it was already established that it was taboo. Finally, my biggest problem is how fast Jack devolved mentally. The film had five months to play with, and for some reason they decided to use less than two for Jack to completely lose his mind. I think that the film would have been better suited to allow more time to pass to make Jack’s devolution make more sense.

With all this in mind, I gave plot 8.5 out of 10.

Cinematography:

I believe that this is one of the best films to use when justifying Kubrick’s genius as a filmmaker. There are three scenes in particular that I find illustrate this best. The first is the opening scene, with Jack driving up to The Overlook. It is shot from a helicopter, and shows Jack’s car driving on the mountain roads, surrounded by nothing but wilderness. It lets the audience know right away, without any need to speak words, that the family is isolated and that there is NO ONE around. The second scene takes place after Wendy finds Jack’s manuscript and his craziness is brought to light. Jack has his back to the large windows in the room and since this scene takes place midday, his face is hidden in the shadow. Wendy however is facing the windows and the light is illuminating her. And it’s as simple as that. Jack is shadowy because he is no longer the man we first met, and Wendy is in the light because she is finally seeing what the hotel has done to her husband. It’s a brilliant piece of directorship. Finally, the last scene that I really feel show why this film is a work of cinematic genius is when Jack is cutting down the bathroom door. The film is shot with Steadicam, so throughout the rest of the movie there are no shaky shots. But when Jack’s axe hits the door, the camera shakes. Each time. This is used to make the audience FEEL how hard Jack is hitting the door through camera work. It is so flawless, that the audience may not even notice.

This is why I give cinematography a 10 out of 10.

Audio:

I also strongly feel that the overall audio of this film is exquisite. One scene that illustrates this is Danny riding his tricycle throughout the hotel. When he is riding on the carpet, it is quiet. But the moment he hits the hard wood, the sound changes. It is abrupt but it is what it would sound like in real life. And again, when Danny goes from the hard wood onto the carpet it is silent again. It would have been so easy to ignore this, but Kubrick knows how important it is to hit the small details. Another audio aspect that I love is the main score. It is brilliant. If for some reason you don’t know it, go listen to it on YouTube. It will speak for itself. I also really enjoyed the “buzzing” that takes place periodically throughout the film. The buzzing will build throughout the scene, and sometimes it will lead to a scare and other times it will lead to nothing. It keeps the audience constantly guessing about what is actually going to happen. The last thing that I think is very important when discussing the audio quality of this film is Jack Nicholson’s delivery. At the start of the film he is articulate and charming. As the film goes on and Jack loses his mind, his speech devolves as well. Ultimately, he is reduced to grunts and screams.

Not surprisingly I gave audio a 10 out of 10.

How Scary is it?

When discussing how scary this film is to me, I feel I have to talk about how scary I found it when I was a kid and then as an adult. The first time I watched this movie, the horror came from the things that were scary to Danny. It is very easy to see how the events that take place in the movie could scare a kid. A rotting corpse attacking you in an abandoned room, two little girls that want you to play with them forever and ever and sometimes appear chopped into bits. Blood rushing down an elevator shaft and filling the hallway. And probably most terrifying of all, your father wanting to murder you. I think every son has a very basic fear that they are not good enough for their dad, and to have it realized in such a malevolent way is brutal for a young kid watching this movie.

As an adult, the fear comes from seeing what happens to Jack. It would be terrifying to be isolated in such a manner as the family is in this film. And to not only be isolated, but to feel yourself losing your grip on reality. To start questioning what is going on around you. To have your wife blame you for something you (think) you could never do again. And probably most basic of all, not being able to trust the one you love while dealing with all of this. This may not be the same kind of fear one experiences when watching a movie like “The Conjuring”, but the fear is one you feel deep in within yourself.

But even with all of that this movie is not all that scary, and modern technology prevents a modern audience from relating as well. Internet and cell phones make the idea of isolation seem so foreign, even when stuck on a snowy mountain.

This is why I rated this section the lowest. 7 out of 10.

Final Grade:

Out of 40, I scored “The Shining” 35.5. This gives the film an 89%, or a B+ which I feel it richly deserves. Even though the film may not be all that scary, the cinematography and acting make it more than worth the dollar it takes to rent on Amazon.

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

Kanye West and 9 Other Stars Who Have Spoken Out About Bipolar Disorder

Kanye West is telling his truth through music once again, and this time he's opening up about bipolar disorder, a condition that many celebrities have addressed in the past.

The 40-year-old rapper's latest album, Ye, was unveiled during a listening party in Wyoming, and while the cover art for the new music showcases a mountain in the scenic state, the message chosen to go along with the image is perhaps the most compelling. West chose to write over the photo: "I hate being Bi-Polar it’s awesome." 

According to the Mayo Clinic, bipolar disorder is "associated with episodes of mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs."

Kanye also addresses his health struggles and drug use in his song, "Wouldn't Leave," where he raps: “That’s why I f**k with Ye / That’s my third person / That’s my bipolar s**t, ni**a what / That’s my superpower / Ni**a ain’t no disability / I’m a superhero, I’m a superhero.” 

On the track "Yikes," he also croons: "I can feel the spirits all around me / I think Prince and Mike was tryna warn me / They know I got demons all on me."

.@kanyewest's latest album, 'ye' is OFFICIALLY HERE. 🚨https://t.co/HLsk4DqyNypic.twitter.com/NrYBhWOYr2

— Def Jam Recordings (@DefJamRecords) June 1, 2018

In addition to West rapping about mental health struggles, a number of other stars have been vocal about their battles with bipolar disorder.

Here are their accounts:

Mariah Carey

The 48-year-old singer told People that she was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder in 2001 and only recently came to terms with her condition. She is now going to therapy regularly and taking medication. 

"Until recently I lived in denial and isolation and in constant fear someone would expose me,” she says of keeping the diagnosis private. “It was too heavy a burden to carry and I simply couldn’t do that anymore. I sought and received treatment, I put positive people around me and I got back to doing what I love -- writing songs and making music."

Demi Lovato

The 25-year-old pop star has been very vocal about being bipolar, but was adamant during an interview with iHeartRadio’s Elvin Duran last August that she does not want the condition to define her.

“I think when people refer to me as being bipolar, it’s something that is true -- I am bipolar -- but I don’t like people to use it as a label,” Lovato -- who revealed she was bipolar in 2011 --- explained. “It’s something that I have, it’s not who I am. I think Demi Lovato, activist, is something that I would really be proud of.”

Catherine Zeta-Jones

In April 2011, the 48-year-old actress checked out of a mental health facility and revealed that she was diagnosed with bipolar II disorder. 

"This is a disorder that affects millions of people and I am one of them," she told People at the time. "If my revelation of having bipolar II has encouraged one person to seek help, then it is worth it. There is no need to suffer silently and there is no shame in seeking help."

Jane Pauley

In her 2001 autobiography, Skywriting: A Life Out of the Blue, the CBS Sunday Morning host opened up about being bipolar. 

"The diagnosis was a shock and a relief," she said during a 2004 interview on the  Today show. "Someone was taking charge of this. He [Gary Trudeau] was going to get his wife back.”

At the time, the 67-year-old journalist said that she was taking lithium to help with her condition. "It's just a salt," she noted on Today. "It just is stabilizing. It allows me to be who I am. A mood disorder is dangerous. You’ve got to get those dramatic waves of highs and lows stabilized.  It’s dangerous if you don't."

Carrie Fisher

The late actress was admirably candid about her mental health struggles, which she opened up about during her many interviews with ET throughout the years. Fisher was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, battled manic depression and also fought drug addictions.

In one memorable 2011 interview with ET, Fisher revealed the advice she would have given her younger self. "You know, I don't think I could have told my younger self anything," she shared. "Get help -- there's not much else."

"Learn to say the words, 'I don't know,'" the Star Wars actress added. "Mean them."

Patty Duke

The Patty Duke Show star -- who died in March 2016 at age 69 -- became a major advocate for mental health awareness after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1982, a moment her son, Sean Astin, described to ET as a “watershed” for his mother’s life and legacy.

“All of a sudden, [here] was this thing that, not only was it important for her own life, because now she could design a care-giving plan, and she could get medication, and there was a name for what her series of symptoms was,” Astin explained. “But now, she had a new identity and a whole new mission. A whole new sense of purpose, and that was to share what she had gone through with other people.”

“She was one of the first public figures with a big, public profile who did that,” he further recalled. “What's so funny is, as her son, seeing her -- the real her, the authentic her -- which most people saw as well... the more she opened up, the more she shared of her pain, the more she revealed how excruciating pain can be turned into bliss.”

Maurice Benard

The 55-year-old actor was not only diagnosed with bipolar disorder in his real life, but also portrayed a man suffering from the mental illness on General Hospital.  

While on Dr. Oz in 2016, Benard revealed that he had three mental breakdowns before discovering he was bipolar. "It’s like being in a nightmare and not being able to wake up," he said of those times. "I see it as God and the devil fighting."

Maria Bello

While promoting her 2015 book, Whatever...Love Is Love: Questioning the Labels We Give Ourselves, the Coyote Ugly star opened up to ET about her mental illness. 

"I think that my disease, since I'm medicated, is a gift, because I've gone so far through extremes -- from the very bottom to the very top of human emotion and feeling," the 51-year-old actress said. "I think that I am more empathetic because of it."

Scott Stapp

In May 2015, the Creed frontman revealed he was bipolar after having a psychotic breakdown the year prior.

"I was hallucinating," he told People. "I drove around the United States for a month, following an angel that I saw on the hood of my car. In my delusional thinking, I thought my family was involved in ISIS, and that millions of dollars had been taken from me to support terrorism. All of it was nonsense. I was out of my mind."

"There's a stigma associated with it," the 44-year-old singer added. "But [my wife] Jaclyn kept telling me, 'Embrace it. We love you.' It became a big sign of relief, because finally, we had an answer."

For mental health support, contact the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance at dbsalliance.org.

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