#on either discord (bc i just don’t want to bother with it anyways)

[valra-pr]

Probably the only ant colony game I bother with rn

Also it’s Ant Colony Wild Forest if you want to try it out yourself

[mc-glare-is-king]

Funny Out of Context Quotes From My Friend Group’s Discord Server

(I say out of context but some of them have a little context lmao- also this is just for funsies bc i love my friends & our chaotic groupchat)

(idk if my friends have tumblr but if they do- you didn’t see this)

“Also, [insert professors name] is a whore for not just posting our grades online and that’s on god”

“he’s dead💀 sleep well!”

A note I had in the rough draft of a paper for my art class that I shared with my friends:

“I just finished my conclusion, but I keep thinking about how I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to describe the painting or not and it’s like almost 11PM so I don’t want to bother you but also my brain has low key melted and is officially done for the night so I just wrote this paragraph and you can either say yes to the dress or throw this page to the sharks or something.”

And the following response:

“SAY YES TO THE DRESS😭”

“Idk but like kill it girlie KSDFHSJD”

“The pug is on the BRINK of death🥰”

“friggin snappychat whatchamacallit and all y’all youngsters smh”

^ and the “LMAO GRANDPA PLEASE” in response^

“GET UR DIRTY LIPS AWAY”

“SIN COSINE TANGENT HELP”

“u signed with the turkin grease???”

“Can I take over your Brian?” (brain lmao)

“My Brian ??? Sure u can have him he’s not good at his job anyways”

“Wait will he give me your dyslexia”

I would email [insert professors name] like “hey how do I do this one thing on adobe” and he’ll be like “you literally took my graphics class” and then he’ll turn into that Dance Moms meme where Abby Miller is like “HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING, JOJO”

-And he’s like “GO TO LAVA LAMP YOUTUBE”

“im lesking [friends name] im leaking”

I would say that to them and they’d probably go “lmao get good, we’re the American education system, you stupid little bitch”

my friend referred to my anxiety, adhd, & depression as “um… illnesses” one time and i thought it was funny

“i deal with [friends name] on a daily basis and her fards stank bro” (in response to me saying how much I appreciate them dealing w/ my daily weekly breakdowns lmao)

\/ \/ speaking of my breakdowns👀 \/ \/

ITS GONNA BE WHEN I ULTIMATELY WORK MYSELF UP ABOUT THIS PROJECT SO MUCH THAT I BURN MYSELD OUT AND END UP FEELING LIKE IM A FAILURE WHOS DISAPPOINTING EVERYONE

…

ahahaha anyways-

how is everyone else’s day going lmao

“[professors name] really said “I want you to have fun w this project” but followed it up with “but also it needs to be the best piece you’ve ever given me” as if that wouldn’t stress me out💀”

“HEY💢‼️‼️GIRL🙋‍♀️‼️🚺My name is TSUKASA TENMA🦄I💆‍♂️🗣AM👍👍STAR‼️⭐️🌟I👁AM🌎FUTURE STAR DANCE🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️💃🕺💃🕺AND‼️‼️🆒➕SING‼️🗣🗣🎙”

“I’ll beat his head into the dirt” (in response to my lil brother making fun of part of an art project I was working on)

“Do I need to put your dad on my parents hitlist😭”

[saltminerising]

fr users reading challenge: impossible

it takes 5 seconds to click on lair/hibden at the top of the dragon page to check the tab description. it also doesn’t take long to check someone’s profile on sales info for dragons not deliberately posted for sale on ah/forums/discord. you can pm someone right on their profile anyway. yet for some reason i STILL get ppl pming over not-for-sale dragons. one pm even had a junk item attached to it, forcing me to take it out and essentially let the other person know i’ve read their pm before i can delete it. these aren’t the panicked user trying to get back a dragon they accidentally sold either.

i’m gonna be very honest here, no matter how polite these pms are, it still comes off as incredibly rude since the other party apparently decided that their want for the dragon is more important than my needs or whatever i’ve tried communicating through my profile and went ahead anyway. the baffling thing is that it’s apparently common enough that folks just get straight up hostile over this on their profiles (very valid tbh). i think they might be on to something here if my attempts at politely communicating boundaries is clearly not getting to these people… it’s also not just one pm but several from various users over a period of time.

*sigh* this would be less of an issue if we could block or restrict pms/any 1-to-1 player communications so pms from random strangers asking for my nfs dragons won’t even go through and THEY KNOW IT. i know i can just block them if they get persistent but it’s not quite the same feature i want for this. i do not want to see or receive those pms in the first place. i also don’t want the other user to get mad at me over ‘ghosting’ bc they can’t be bothered to read my profile and so i can’t be bothered to read their pm.

[carpedanneel]

Ya’ll are fucking wild here. no wonder why this rp has just been the same 5 people for the last 4 years. But I thought maybe things are different, maybe it’s changed. Wrong. Admin, you still make rules to cater to the admin or the “inner” 3 other members they’ve deemed “worthy”. You make rules that cater to pretty much you only. You dont care about how you make other people feel, as long as you're getting your way. And the members here have been so brainwashed by the bullshit either theyre too scared or too intimidated to say anything. You still find a way to corrupt people from playing certain fc’s you have history with STILL forcing history on certain fc’s. A history ONE player expects you to remember every detail to even if you don’t like the plot. That one player who makes SO MANY people uncomfortable, whether they want to admit it or not, who also just happens to be the main admin. The main admin who doesnt even do a god damn thing on the main, and then will make every excuse as to why not. Sarah, you’ve found so many ways to provoke, gaslight, bully, guilt or force threads, histories, plots on probably every single player here. It’s gross. You deserve every call out youve gotten. But I don’t even 100% blame you. I also blame most of the spineless people you claim to be your “friends”. Here they complain and shit talk behind your back but then turn around and lick the ground you walked on. But probably because you’ve bullied them into it. I love how you post this long ass thing from the main saying how this place isn't for everyone and if youre bothered, blah blah. Just say this place is for you to do whatever tf you want whenever you want, and be done with it. At least be honest. How many times did you ask if you should drop certain chars looking for pity and how many people begged you to stay, Sarah? No one. That's telling. But its good to know this group is only here for you and your bullshit. Since this group is "anything goes" then the second someone calls your character out ic, you do the same thing you do ooc and come up with every excuse on why youre not wrong. Amd then kick them out! Maybe instead of always blaming everyone both ic and ooc, maybe look inward.I tried, I really tried to come in with an open mind that maybe this place had changed over the many years, but it clearly never will.Also, on the subject of bullying, Lena, you're also a god damn bully, which is funny since youre barely even on. But you still found a way, thought it was okay to message me and try to get me to drop ashley. First time we spoke you instantly were guilting me saying I swiped up Ashley before you could. And then to actually IM me the other day trying to guilt me into giving her up? So fucking rude. But at least you got your wish. Ya’ll have zero class. RP should be fun. This place sucks the fucking life out of you. I now remember why Sarah used to be banned from so many hollywood rps back in the day and why this place was basically blacklisted. Why i used to have to block her and other members here from my character pages bc youd steal shit. I bet I could log onto an old blog and find FANMAILS of her TRYING to force ships and plots in old rps, thats how long its been going on. I will say i do feel bad for some of the quality players in this group. I just dont know why you put up with it when there are groups out there where you dont have to be foeced into ships or plots just bc youve known someone for so long. Where you dont have to NOT come on the dash bc a player/character is being redundant and miserable 24/7. You dont have to sit here and keep letting sarah and this group take advantage of you. Anyways, I'm out. To the few here who actually reached out to plot or even just to chat, ya'll are cool and feel free to dm me or hmu on discord. New members, I'd beware if I was you.

@carpediem-celebrpg

Just for context, this was what I wrote in the ooc of an rp I just left. I'm sure it got deleted but I wanted to put it in the tags to let the rpc know this rp is still a problem and so are some members. Beware if joining, it's all shady.

[tuesdayintheservantshall]

Jimmy has no right to *that* hostile (ie downright homophobic). He already almost threw Thomas out onto the street without a reference; if anyone has a right to be scared it’s Thomas; he’s now aware everyone knows he’s gay and he knows at least one or two of those people(one of them being jimmy) would happily throw him under the bus given the chance. He’s literally never been so vulnerable and there’s no need for jimmy to rub it in

Hey Nonny you’re my first official fandom argument! Or you were when I first drafted this over a week ago lol. Since then I've waded into some drama bc I have poor impulse control. Well you're my first argumentative anon still! Do I get a prize, or do you? Have an, um apple of discord: 🍏And I will have one too: 🍏 (Intended tone: genuinely friendly, although if you are not already aware you should know that in fandom spaces messages like these are generally considered hostile acts. Most people don’t want to argue with strangers about why their faves suck, and especially not in response to tags they made about their overwhelmed shippy feelings. (Although I guess if hypothetically you’re the OP of the post I put the tags on and weren’t comfortable with them being on your post that’s admittedly a tough place to be in. Coming to me with your face on and asking me to remove my reblog or the tags because you’re not comfortable with them runs the risk of me being an asshole or taking something in your phrasing badly and starting a big fight. Uh, the chances of that seem rather remote so I’m gonna leave the tags where they are unless OP comes to me and says “I hadn’t wanted to say anything but actually -”.) Anyway I’m not gonna derail this into a long(er than it is) ramble on preferred ways to discuss disagreements in fandom but I might post something like that at a later date.)

God I use way too many parentheses. Apologies to any with a blacklist for Jimmy (do I still have any of those? not sure), obviously I don’t want to put this in the tags. I shall tag this and any further discourse on the subject with “the storyline that shall not be named”. Let’s get (finally) to it!

So, the first thing I wanna say is: yes, Jimmy makes homophobic comments and that’s bad, both because Thomas being gay is not the reason he assaulted Jimmy and because there’s hypothetically a chance someone who doesn’t already know might figure out Thomas’s sexuality based on Jimmy’s comment(s? There's the one before the rope tug and then I could have sworn there was one other one but I'm blanking on what it actually was.)However a) the moment I was commenting on wasn’t one of the homophobic comments and b) I find it important to distinguish between the specific manner of hostility (sometimes homophobic) and the level of hostility (nasty remarks and making a constant point of distancing himself) and the level is in fact 100% warranted. If you think nasty remarks and pointed distancing are more hostile than a person has a right to be towards the guy who sexually assaulted them, then we have a pretty profound disagreement.

As for your other point, regarding fear: Thomas and Jimmy both have very compelling reasons to be afraid of each other but I have to ask exactly what you think Jimmy is “rubbing in?” He initially tried to retaliate excessively against Thomas, backed down from that, and then discovered that instead of facing a reasonable consequence for assaulting him, such as being fired but with a reference that reflected the fact that this was one very bad mistake rather than a pattern*, Thomas was promoted to a position of direct authority over Jimmy. Although Jimmy was bribed into not making a fuss about this rather than, say, threatened, I think he has nonetheless been given a fairly clear message from his employers that they will back the senior coworker who assaulted him against any potential consequence he might try to bring. From Jimmy’s point of view, which is admittedly blinkered by fear and self interest, Thomas is the one in the secure, powerful position and Jimmy is the one extremely vulnerable.

I don't even just mean from his point of view like, ~emotionally. Genuine question: what would happen if Thomas started being overly touchy-feely again, or did worse than that, and Jimmy went to Mr. Carson or Mrs. Hughes or Lord Grantham to report it? I really don't know, and neither does Jimmy. Personally, I'm guessing that whether they believed him would probably depend significantly on things like Jimmy’s demeanor, and exactly what words he used, and basically whether he came across as a victim or as a brat trying to get someone in trouble. And which of those things a person seems like has no particular correlation to the facts of what they’re reporting - as we can see from what happened the first time! Like, Jimmy came off as spiteful and nasty and instead of being fired Thomas was promoted. That is actually what happened! The fact that Jimmy's motives were mixed doesn't change the fact of what Thomas did: Jimmy, when evaluating his safety, has access to one really strong datapoint and that’s that last time the majority of his superiors came down on Thomas’s side, either from the beginning or by the end.

Now, it’s true that he’s had a year to observe Thomas’s behavior and make an educated guess that Thomas really is sorry and won’t do it again. We can only speculate as to what extent he may have reached that conclusion and why he has or hasn’t. Some possible reasons why he might not have: trauma blinkers, homophobic and sexist beliefs, sufficiently bad at reading people to not know what clues to even look for, too self-centered to bother thinking about it in those terms... we don’t know. And perhaps he does know perfectly well that Thomas won't do anything like that again and any lingering fear is of cooties or of people mistaking him for gay and him being in the line of fire along with Thomas next time! You can read him that way if you want. You can say “wtf I see no fear of any kind”. It’s a flexible canon and none of these interpretations are actually contradicted by the text. Indeed I happily read other interpretations and when I babbled in those tags it was more "this is the interpretation I am thinking about right now" than intended to assert it as my One True Headcanon that I will not deviate from. But Jimmy definitely has reasons to be afraid, and of more than cooties.

Of course Thomas also has logical and emotional reasons to be afraid of what Jimmy might do, I'm certainly not denying that. (In fact, one of the things I find so compelling about these two is that they both have such strong reasons not to trust each other and they both reach out anyway.) It seems that Thomas’s belief in who Jimmy is as a person supersedes those reasons (“He wouldn’t be so unkind. Not on his own.”) but if Jimmy has a similar belief about who Thomas he keeps it hidden at least until the fair.

P.S. please reconsider the phrase “has the right to be scared” in every context but especially when discussing someone’s reaction to a situation that involved them being sexually assaulted. I offer you the alternative “logical reason to be scared” or "compelling reason" as perhaps capturing what I hope you meant. I think that’s a language choice that really does matter a fair bit.

[innittowinit]

Abandoned amusement parks are the best place for young children (Chapter 19)

Fic summary: 

Techno, Tommy, Wilbur and Phil have been hanging out at the abandoned amusement park in the woods since they moved in. Techno likes knowing he's definitely alone with his brothers Tommy likes climbing on the old rides Wilbur likes having a place to play his music Phil likes spending time with his younger brothers

That is, until a group of brothers calling themselves the 'dream team' move in down the road. Will the sleepy boys give in and share the park or will they succeed in scaring the new kids off?

Chapter summary:

Eret's been acting...strange Techno senses somethings definitely off

Chapter word count: 1726

AO3

Friendships were a complex thing. Techno had known that as long as he could remember. People come and people go, it was nothing, especially not to him or Wilbur. Inherently, they knew all they had was each other, maybe their other brothers would also always be with them but what they had together was a special bond. Neither Phil nor Tommy would ever be able to understand them the way they understood each other and that was fine, they had lived every day side by side, they shared almost all their core memories and so their rationality was incredibly similar because of it, meaning they could very easily understand each other. 

Never had they asked for a friend that would feel the same way as the friendship they had with each other, and yet they always seemed to be asking for too much. That’s the part that confused Techno. 

Never had they needed to be understood. Never had they needed something complex. All they needed was someone to accept them so why did it feel like everyone always ended up leaving? Were they the problem? It always felt like they were trying so hard so why did it feel like they were pushing people away? 

You see, recently Eret had been acting….off. 

He had been stumbling over words, fidgeting, leaving quickly with the excuse of ‘being late for something’, and taking hours to reply to any kind of message. Each of these things would be fine on their own but with them all together, they felt a little strange. 

It didn’t seem like Wilbur had noticed the recent shift in behaviour yet so Techno didn’t dare bring it up, it wasn’t uncommon that he was overly cautious and he didn’t want to risk upsetting his brother over something that might not even be a big deal, especially when he had just started to get over the incident with the ticket booth. 

“So....He’s been busy a lot lately” Wilbur sighed, draping himself across the couch and clutching his phone in one hand. Niki had insisted they add some stickers onto it since letting them live off a ‘boring flip phone’ (as she had called it) was apparently not okay.

“Do you think he’s okay? Maybe something’s going on at home..”

Oh. Techno was positive everything was okay at home. Of course there was a possibility that he was just being protective of Wilbur because he didn’t want anyone hurting his brother but seriously! In his opinion, if you had enough money to eat fucking burger king as a school lunch you were doing fine financially, and really, that’s all that mattered right? Money had always been the reason why their parents were never around.

It was probably just his jealousy talking but he had always had a bit of an underlying anger for people with a big disposable income, how was it fair that their parents had to work so much at minimum wage jobs that they could hardly see them just to keep them warm and fed and yet other families could have their parents around by the time they were home from school /and/ have extra money for treats.

“Wil, don’t worry about him.” Techno sighed, trying to choose his words carefully. He knew Wilbur was always more sensitive to rejection than him.

“He’s more..social than we are, he probably just has other friends that he doesn’t want to ignore or something”

“Maybe.. I wish he’d tell us though, I don’t like being left on read” 

With a sigh and a gentle prod for him to sit up a bit more, Techno wrapped an arm around Wilbur, feeling how he melted into the contact straight away. Of course it hurt Techno too to be ignored by the one person they thought actually could be a good friend but he needed to put on a brave face for Wilbur. Of course it felt like a stab in the gut to have trusted someone so much to be able to start talking to them and then they just disappear but Wilbur needed him right now, it was obvious to anyone that he was the one with the bigger connection issues. 

“Wil, trusting people is a part of being friends. We can talk to him tomorrow alright? And we can explain that it would make you feel better if he said his plans before disappearing”

-----

It was Tuesday night and other than a few memes she had screenshotted off of instagram and sent them, they hadn’t really heard much at all from Eret. She hadn’t hung around them long enough at school for either of them to really bring it up with her and honestly, Techno was getting incredibly worried about what was going on. He’d never had a real friend like this before, of course Skeppy always made him laugh but he was family so he didn’t count, if he messed up with family he knew as long as they weren’t adults they’d still love him afterwards, friends worked differently though. He had his Hypixel friends too but they didn’t count either since they were online and he could type to them on days when he was struggling more. By now he’d known them so long they were basically family, they’d all taken hours out of their own time to research Techno’s problems to try and be as accommodating as possible- all in all he really couldn't compare them with Eret.

It was tricky and he knew communication was one of the more important parts, which was ironically what he struggled with the most. Maybe on one of his worse-off days, where he normally would have had Wilbur doing most of the talking for him, Eret had assumed he was angry with her or giving her the silent treatment, maybe she had taken offence to the fact that Wilbur and Techno were very obviously closer than she was with each one of them. The thought that somehow they might have made her feel left out made him feel a little sick, had they not explained well enough what had led to this point? Maybe it was selfish for them to relish in the fact that she rarely bugged them for explanations.

All in all, Techno was sure they had done something for the sudden shift in attitude and, not wanting to make Wilbur feel worse than he already did, he wasn’t sure who could help him. 

Maybe he could wait up until his parents got home? People on TV were always getting advice from them but then again.. His family wasn’t really like those on tv, if he was being honest he was half sure he’d be yelled at for being awake before he could have a chance to ask for help. 

He could also ask Phil, but then again Phil was already beyond stressed trying to make sure they were all okay, he really didn’t want to bother him. Niki was closer to Wilbur than she was with him and he was sure his hypixel friends were all still at school because of the time zone difference. 

The only other person he could really think of talking to about this was Skeppy, and so, hopping out of bed, trying his hardest not to make too much noise and wake up Wilbur, he made his way to the PC. 

11:36PM 

From what he knew, Skeppy usually stayed up late and slept so late he often missed his bus anyway so he probably was still up.

Clicking onto discord, he breathed a sigh of relief as he saw the green dot next to his cousin's icon, immediately messaging him. 

11:36 OrphanDestroyer: Hey nerd

11:36 OrphanDestroyer: U awake?

It took a few minutes for him to answer, Techno was just about ready to give up and accept he had just chosen the one night he may have gone to bed on time to try and message him.

11:42 japanesesymbolforbeginner: 1 sec ina call wiv bbh 

Writing ‘bbh’ off as one of Skeppy’s friends he had forgotten to tell them about, Techno waited patiently for Skeppy to say he was free. 

11:46 japanesesymbolforbeginner: ok im done, what you need

11:46 OrphanDestroyer: SO

11:46 OrphanDestroyer: Do you remember Eret?

11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Okay well basically for like the past few days he’s been ignoring me and Wilbs and I’m really really worried we offended him or something like maybe we hurt him or he’s mad or maybe he decided he's too good to be friends with us which tbh I don't blame him for because we kinda are losers and maybe people won't be friends with him because he's friends with us or something? Idk idk I just really wish he’d tell us something because like Wil is freaking out and idk what to tell him, he really struggles with this kinda stuff and I wanna help but idk how. 

11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Ok...fuck

11:48 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Has he replied to any messages or anything? Maybe he’s busy?

11:48 OrphanDestroyer: Not really 

11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: Okay okay so here’s what I think you should do

11:49 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If he’s ignoring you you're gonna need to confront him next time you see him and don’t just agree when he makes an excuse to leave, like say you NEED to talk

11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: If u think he’s offended bc sometimes you don't speak a lot maybe just message him some resources or whatever on the type of mutism you deal with, even if he doesn’t reply he’ll probably still open it.

11:50 japanesesymbolforbeginner: like he might just be in the position where he’s nervous he’ll offend you if he asks something about it? Like maybe he doesn't understand fully and he just needs one of you to open the discussion 

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: okay you're probably right

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: There’s a link I have to one I normally email teachers whenever we have a new one so i'll probably send him that

11:50 OrphanDestroyer: Tomorrow though, my dads gonna be home soon and he’ll kill me if im still awake 

11:51 japanesesymbolforbeginner: aight, night Techno, good luck and btw you're all always welcome to come over if things get tense over there with ur parents

[lesbiancarat]

Lol its fine!! Reply whenever you can ^_^

But ahh true, true. Idk why I thought it would be a hint to the music lol but a sort og an evolution of the concept so to speak. Either way, am excited for the comeback because fresh svt is always iconic. Oohhh the concept photos are all pretty and idk which one to pick jfkshfjsjd. Like they are all very on brand for them but also unique and pretty. Very artsy haha.

Ahh yes, rabbitnwas forever iconic and it was what helped other places like discord to do similar things! But ah understandable!! Both seventeen and nct (when I was getting into kpop more) always felt like BIG well known groups due to their fandoms being so big at least to me. Especially when people always recommended their songs i just assumed they have been around for a while like bts when I joined only to realize they are still rookies. Monster rookies indeed!! The fact so many people love them is enough for me to say they are amazing, well respected and loved by many. Those comments annoy me, especially when people downplay their hard work by claiming 'bighit helped them get more famous' like what!? Yes bighit did help with getting more western attention per se but like downplaying as if they haven't achieved anything at all is confusing to me. Claiming how streaming fans aren't doing s good job to which im like one, mass streaming isn't healthy and two, fans who do try their best and we do beat records of our own. Seventeen isn't unpopular, just because they aren't you know who level doesn't mean they aren't big like do people forget what unpopular means?

Anywhoo, a day late but happy late birthday to our tiger King. May he forever rule the tiger land and take over the world with his tiger agenda lol.

yes! one side fits my aesthetic the best but all the concept photos were nice ^^

and yeah it is annoying but at the same time those people are so detached from reality that I'm just sort of like whatever djflgj like 'it's obvious to anyone who knows what they're talking about you're wrong so I'm not going to bother arguing w you' is sort of my mindset when i see those comments dhfkj bc if i don't think of it that way then i get angry easily. the way i see it bh/hybe definitely is helping SVT with western promotions but like. i don't think SVT/pledis would have been incapable of expanding into the western market on their own if they wanted to. but it's a given that it will be easier and faster with hybe bc they have connections and a reputation in the western market already established. honestly I'd guess that was one of pledis's main incentives for agreeing to the acquisition. but at the same time hybe and western media wouldn't give SVT the time of day if they truly were the flops some ppl try to claim they are lol

and yeah agreed, streaming culture can be super unhealthy. it's one thing to do it if you want to but at the same time don't be losing sleep over it or prioritizing it over your real life responsibilities. and definitely don't guilt trip and say a bunch of toxic things to others to get them to stream... i feel like it would be a lot healthier if fanbases just stuck to simply explaining, hey this is what streaming is and why it can be important (for like music shows etc) and here's how to do it properly if you choose to stream, and then just let people decide for themselves. there would still be people more than willing to do it, and without the guilt tripping maybe even more people would just find it enjoyable. but hey, what do i know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i also think most kpop stans underestimate how many views from from casual listeners and fans vs hardcore fans/streamers. like streaming does make a difference, but not 100M views difference like some people try to act like it does. tbh there are a lot of groups that have a smaller core fanbase than SVT but get hundreds of millions of views bc they have a lot of casual listeners. you can even see it internally too: don't wanna cry is SVTs most viewed MV by a mile, it's the only one to pass 100M views, let alone 200M. and it has nothing to do w carats streaming dwc extra hard, it's bc it's arguably SVTs most well known song outside of the fandom. i see reactors all the time who react to it and say "oh i know this song! i had no idea it was by seventeen" and you can look at the comments section and see a bunch of people saying the song has a fandom of its own/even if you're not a carat you have to know this song

kpop stans also put too much emphasis on views imo and also equate views to popularity, which on the surface might make sense but isn't always the case. actually in terms of profit, groups/companies make the vast majority of their money off of album, merch, and ticket sales than they do off of views. but those are all things that are a lot harder to "sell" than views, because they actually cost money for the consumer, while you can watch an MV for free. hence why it makes sense that there are a lot of groups with hundreds of millions of views that get relatively low album sales. it's easy to convince casual fans and and listeners to watch an MV than to get them to buy something

and I'm not trying to diss other groups at all or try to say groups that consistently get 200M+ views are flops, they're absolutely not. I'm just trying to point out that kpop stans completely underestimate the amount of casual listeners that exist

but this is why SVT is honestly such a fascinating case. their MV views are nothing to write home about, and yet they're the second highest selling k-act at the moment and are in the top 10 if not top 5 highest selling k-acts of all time, their album sales are literally insane. a lot of people chalk it up to carats being bad streamers but like i said before, streaming isn't going to make a difference of hundreds of millions of views. this indicates to me that seventeen have a bigger core fanbase (ie people who call themselves carats and actually keep track of seventeens activities) but a smaller audience of casual listeners compare to other kpop groups. and i think a lot of people, carats, and non carats alike, pick up on this in some way or another but don't realize that's what's going on and it manifests in kind of weird ways sometimes

and this fact isn't something that bothers me, i actually think it's super important more than anything for SVT to have a strong core fanbase if what they're shooting for is longevity. but i do find it strange bc as i said, groups that do better with digitals than physical sales make total sense from a consumer standpoint!! so how did SVT end up like this!! it's so interesting for me to think about. i think i would have a better idea of why this is if i had been around since debut but alas

the only thing i can come up with is that SVT is better at retaining fans or like... getting fans invested in the group so people who become carats are less likely to be multistans? bc multistans play a huge part in both being and attracting casual listeners. they're the ones making video compilations and edits and content that includes multiple kpop groups, which is how a lot of non-fans get interested in other groups. whereas if someone is just a carat and making content for SVT the people most likely to watch that content is ppl who are already carats. i know im not the only one that's noticed it's kind of rare for SVT to be included in multistan edits and videos. which i don't blame anyone for, i think most of those people genuinely just don't stan SVT and they shouldn't be expected to include a group they don't know we'll or at all. at the end of the day ppl can make what they like. but it's interesting to observe as a general trend. but idk SVT potentially having a lower percentage of multistans still isn't really an explanation for why SVT doesn't have as many casual listeners bc those things kind of just go hand in hand. like either one could be the cause of the other one if that makes sense

ANYWAY sorry for the long reply but as i said the ratio of SVTs core fanbase vs casual listeners is a topic i find endlessly fascinating dhfmfj

[vapcrwaves]

━♡ guess the 24 YEAR OLD JULY baby just arrived to dallyeog! it makes sense, because AOKI IMOJEN is just as BLAZING as the month of JULY. wait, why do they remind me of HIRAI MOMO? beyond that, they seemed SELF-RELIANT & BUOYANT upon first glance. i heard someone say they’re sort of INSURGENT & RECKLESS though. i hope they get acquainted here in COMPLEX # 3 / APARTMENT # 2 / FLOOR # 2 ; they seem to have a lot going on with HER job as TATTOO ARTIST / BASSIST. 

bonjour , y’all !! my name’s jade ( she/her , twenty-one , gmt+8 ) !! and i’m super excited to meet and write with everyone !! this is my spunky kid , imojen , and i hope you’ll come to enjoy her as much as i did writing everything about her :D if you wanna plot , do not fret because i’ll be dropping in everyone’s IMs hehe , but if you prefer to plot over at discord , don’t hesitate to tell me !! <3 

*   𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖑𝖔𝖌𝖚𝖊   ╱  ʙᴀꜱɪᴄꜱ   .

name  :  aoki imojen  nicknames  :  yoki , jen . age  :  twenty - four . birthday  :  july 27 , 1996 . zodiac  :  leo sun , aquarius moon , sagittarius rising . place of birth  :  tokyo , japan . currently living  :  seoul , south korea . occupation  :  tattoo artist , bassist . pronouns  :  she / her . orientation  :  bisexual biromantic . ethnicity  :  japanese .  spoken languages  :   japanese , korean , english .  character insp.  :  kat stratford from 10 things i hate about you , bridget vreeland from sisterhood of traveling pants , effy stonem from skins uk , young carol rhodes from gossip girl tv series , rhonda smith , mia’s backstory from if i stay . label  /  tropes  :  hoyden , icarian , insurgent , reveller , the rebellious spirit . pinterest  :  here .  aesthetics  :   scared of commitment , but has 7 tattoos. a habit of endlessly lighting a lighter. platform boots to boost your height. but then again, sneakers for comfort while running from the cops. forgetting to discard empty cigarette packets from your bomber jacket. spilling your fifth espresso onto your drawings and designs , maybe it’s time to sleep. a frightening look on your face which millennials like to call a resting bitch face. the heat ruining your collection of leather jackets. finding comfort in your friends who seem to understand your mood swings. having a pet cat who’s as feisty as you. spontaneous adventures live inside your head and your friends fall victim to those ideas. liking the rays of the sun more than the moon despite being a night owl. oversleeps anyway. trimming your bangs yourself because you couldn’t be bothered to go to the salon. overcooking your sunny side up eggs. sleeping to forget problems. drinking to forget problems. epitome of a ride or die. 

*  𝖋𝖎𝖗𝖘𝖙 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗    ╱  ᴘᴀꜱᴛ   .

aoki imojen was born to understand what it was to live a life with no structure. her father was part of a rising band in the 90s, toured all over small venues in japan that they slowly rose to a known local name, and imojen has seen all the chaos unfold from backstage in the arms of her mom. however, slowly transitioning into the year of 2000s, the economy was still struggling from the lost decade and the income from touring never sufficed for a growing family. imojen’s father was forced to leave the music scene with the help of her mother’s influence: “it’s time to be serious”; and work multiple jobs in order to fully provide for his first child and the another growing one inside his wife’s womb. 

growing up, imojen’s no stranger to music and her father loved to introduce rock music and bands to imojen’s upbringing. she adored b’z and the gazette, and it leaves no doubt that imojen’s father had been her greatest influence in life. as she grew older, not only did they share identical music preferences and influences, but imojen’s learned to play various instruments— the bass being her favorite. imojen’s also stemmed from that infamous reckless behavior his father’s known for back in the day, and when the teenage years came, so did the impetuous reputation begin. 

imojen and her mother aren’t exactly as close as she was with her father. in fact, their relationship was a toe out of the civil line. it got worse when imojen started to focus on the band she created with friends instead of school and late night practices turned to never returning home for a few days and having the audacity to blatantly lie when asked where she was when asked. it’s hard not to blame her mother when she assumed things for the worst. imojen’s gone quite defiant especially when she discovered that her and her father’s relationship had began to run askew. imojen blames her mother’s interference with her father’s music career as much as her father did, she loved him so much that she was completely blindsided to always take his side. and when the divorce papers came and went, imojen chose her father as she always would. 

her father got a job as a musician locally and eventually overseas, however, money didn’t come by so fast and easy initially. instead of going to university, imojen invested in learning the arts in tattoo design and worked as a tattoo artist to help with the bills. the pair finally thought to settle in korea when imojen’s father got a permanent job. and at this time, imojen has decided to try pursue a career as a musician as well, hoping that the thrill in her early band days are still well stored in her system. 

*  𝖘𝖊𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖉 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗    ╱  ᴘʀᴇꜱᴇɴᴛ   .

imojen can never be satisfied of living in the same area for so long, or at least under the roof with the watchful eye of her father. work’s payed well and imojen decided to move out and get an apartment of her own. hence, she found dallyeog, parties almost every single day, drags everyone into spontaneous adventures, comes home terribly drunk and wakes up with a huge hangover—well, still pretty normal. aside from the norm, imojen working at the tattoo parlor and taking gigs at bars as a bassist, imojen’s investing in writing music as well. she hopes one day to finally finish at least one song she’s been procrastinating for far too long and convince her father to make them a rock duo instead, but a band of her own would fantastic too.  

*  𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗    ╱  ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ   .

imojen looks quite mean at first glance, and it doesn’t help that she’s indifferent towards anyone who isn’t part of already her friend. she doesn’t hate, hate is such a strong word, she simply doesn’t have the attention span for people that don’t interest her or she doesn’t know fully well to enjoy a conversation with.

honestly has the gina linetti energy “how was i supposed to know there’d be consequences for my actions” as she literally does anything she wants before her brain can even weigh the pros and cons to it.

imojen enjoys taking risks despite the relaxed attitude and seemingly nonchalant view in life. it might be a surprise to learn that she’s quite ambitious, but underneath, she does aim for the highs (both meanings) in life, except there isn’t exactly a time frame for those and would much rather pursue them steadily. 

everyone can depend on imojen to have a good time, or if someone needed a friend to vent to, she can surprisingly be all ears, but never follow her words of advice. she does mean well, it’s just that she doesn’t know what she’s saying half the time and is quite reckless,, like ask her to pick between two choices and she’ll advice you to take the riskier one bc “it’s fun don’t be a prude”.

she is more sympathetic than she let on. imojen’s not very vocal especially with her emotions and on what she exactly feels about other people’s situation. serious conversations? catch her yeet away from those. they render her uncomfortable, most especially if it is about her. however, seeing her friends gloomy doesn’t sit right with her that she does anything to make them crack a smile. 

believes that people should be left to roam free and that authority is useless and ruins the fun— hence why she’d always be caught defying them. yes, she uses her brain, but acts more towards intuition and what she felt like doing that day. so yes, she might loves setting her life on the line.

*   𝖋𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖍 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗   ╱  ᴡᴀɴᴛᴇᴅ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴꜱ .

plastic hearts   ╱   someone whom imojen shares a passion for music with. the both of you are like peas in a pod as you both are in the same wavelengths as each other. they may not have the same types of music, but open enough to share a plethora of music playlists.

angels like you   ╱   the typical bad-good influence trope wherein imojen’s reckless behavior and liberated thoughts on legalities have gotten your muse in various dangerous but fun adventures. on a flip, your muse may be the reason why imojen’s woken up at 8 in the morning, bright, well, and not hungover.

prisoner   ╱   an angsty and toxic relationship that imojen could not get enough of. everyone sees this partnership (romantic or platonic) of destructive nature, both of you may or may not know, but regardless it can never be broke off no matter how hard both try. 

gimme what i want   ╱   the typical fwb relationship, we can add spice to it, but on the base that’s the idea. 

night crawling   ╱   imojen’s ride or die, the person she would instantly run to for an adventure, midnight strolls, alcohol escapades, and vandalism. but as things you both do burst into haywire, you’re both aren’t afraid to be open to each other too and spill secrets or bodies hidden in the closet. 

midnight sky   ╱   perhaps a new acquaintance?? friend?? that doesn’t exactly have a first good impression of imojen?? maybe vomited on your muse the first time they met, or jen was really mean for no reason under the influence of alcohol?? she’s chaotic so perhaps it wasn’t a good first meeting. 

bad karma   ╱   imojen hasn’t been exactly an angel all her life, and perhaps karma has run around to bite her in her ass. your muse might’ve been somebody who hurt imojen; either a terrible break up or severing trust, let’s explore :D 

golden g string    ╱   a band :D maybe nothing too serious, just a group of pals playing and making music together :D  or maybe the group's been playing gigs for awhile now and wants to head into the big leagues :D

honestly im so down with anything so !!!!!!

[funny-toilet11]

hi guys lonnngggg post abt me shipping dnf and just like my feelings on it idk u can skip it haha

dnf has accompanied at least half of my thoughts in a day everyday since like april. i have read so much fanfiction n i'm always thinkin abt different fic ideas n i write stuff occasionally of my own. anyways it's a bit weird because like this started from watching dream and george and loving their chemistry together and combining that with my super big desire to be in a relationship and to be loved also next to my previous experiences in fandoms and like shipping people n such. um but i've never really been part of a real person fandom before? like i liked dan and phil and watched their vids but that was about how far as it went. um so it's really new to me and i've like i guess clarified that there's a difference between dream and george youtubers and the version of dream and george in my head that includes all their like shippy moments and all the characteristics and experiences from fanfics that i've derived and complied into my own little kind of characters that i feel like are so separate from actual dream and george? for one i don't even know what dream looks like so him as a person feels even more distant and then like george? he never looks like real person george either in my head. but yeah i still get like !!?!! whenever they have a little # Gay Moment bc i'm like omg lol yoooo r they in love w each other that's awesome but i literally do not mind either way bc gay dnf lives in my head 24/7

uh so yeah i feel like this most accurately describes how i feel abt irl shipping. also by this mentality it means i literally only talk abt dnf on platforms where they cannot see it (tumblr n like discord servers or texts u know like not twitter) just personally bc idk i don't want to involve them at all even if they say they don't mind it. also like when i watch them or whatever i realize that over time the idea of dnf in my head has grown sooooo distant from like who they actually are. bc originally i started shipping them bc in a way i was comphetitively infatuated by both of them and was like yeah they deserve love n i'm a sucker for the best friends dating trope and it made me happy. but like recently i've not been like super duper obsessed with them as people? like i kinda feel like dreams an asshole and idk i'm like less in love with georgenotfound and his pretty ass face as i used to be?? idk for sure i think i go thru phases of simping but yeah

and i've gotten over the phase about feeling like shit for shipping dnf bc 1. it is not bothering them 2. the idea that i have of them is so actually distant from how they r as real people and even if it wasn't they are still content creators and i would never really know them on that level 3. i do not shove it in anyone's faces

if u read all this and have similar feelings i would love to hear abt it!! i'm curious abt other people in this fandom and dnf has become such a huge like obsession and thing for me to focus on it's made life so much better i’m rlly grateful for it

[movedkagen]

NATSUO TODOROKI  STUDY  /  MASTERPOST .

This is also mostly ripped from discord so if it’s choppy that’s why ---

TRIGGER WARNINGS : DOMESTIC ABUSE, CHILD ABUSE, LOSS OF A SIBLING, ANGER ISSUES, BODY PERCEPTION ISSUES.

Natsuo is loyal.  Literally he loves his family so much. like between natsuo and fuyumi, fuyumi has the stronger quirk 100%. Natsuo HAS an ice quirk but he can only freeze things that fit into the palm of his hand...so all he does is make the cola nice and cold before his siblings drink it.

So Natsuo wants to be a family practice doctor and he wants to do outreach work. Pretty much his coping mechanism with being ignored and hating being home is he threw himself really hard into studies, and just did his HW all night in his room. To tune out the yelling anf the negligence. He got good enough grades where he got into University of Tokyo which is good but like basically he almost didn't go bc like. 

his relationship w enji is nonexistent. He was an immediate failure in his eyes, he literally SAID enji didn't look him in the eye ever until recently....he never rly saw him or hung around him. and then like. by the time touya was starting to rly get shit / by the time he was "dead" and shouto got burned and rei got sent away natsuo was only five or so. So to Natsuo? enji was just the guy who lived in his house and ruined his life basically. he hated him. he didn't love him at all. He’s hated him since he was a small child. NATSUO WILL NEVER FORGIVE ENJI AND HAS NO DESIRE TO.

Me and Inad have discussed it but  because  fuyumi is the only girl, Natsuo is the true middle child. The one who was never looked at or spoken to by Enji. And FUCK ENDEAVOR STANS for saying otherwise, but natsuo ISN’T “the only child who wasn’t abused” or the one who “should be the least angry”. Negligence IS child abuse. 

As a kid, Natsuo had a stutter. He acted like a baby for a long time. He was also chubby as a kid -- ate a lot to cope. He was always bigger than Touya, and it continues into adulthood --- Natsuo is now. thick / buff. He was a chubby kid growing up, but now he works out and has muscle however he still also stress eats bc premed is hard and gains like 15 pounds during the school year, then loses it during breaks. it's just the way his body is. This is relevant because Natsuo does have extremely low self esteem -- he thinks he’s very plain looking, that his body is big and awkward and ugly (I have him as growing to be 6′6″ at his full height, taller than Enji), and it all stems from Enji’s negligence. At his core, because of his father, Natsuo believes there is absolutely nothing special about him and that physically and personally he is a worthless person.

Natsuo has anger issues unfortunately (as we’ve seen) but does judo to let it out. tbh he storms out of the house a lot because he doesn’t want fuyumi to see him fucking lose it.

me and inad discussed this but but natsuo HAS put a hole in the wall before and Like he was maybe 15 when that happened. it scared the shit out of fuyumi and he felt so upset he literally like. ran away for two days and when he came back he cried rly hard and promised she would never see him lose his temper like that again, so he storms out so she doesn't see him angry.  It was the summer before he started high school and as soon as he got into high school he started getting into judo and joined the club for it and that's been his outlet ever since. And whenever he storms out of the house it’s to go do that.  He's ashamed of reminding her of endeavor somehow. he knows he’s got enji’s hairstyle and body type, and that contributes to why he hates his appearance so much.

The reason he never brings his S/O around his house is honestly that... he doesn’t like himself when he’s home. ppl love 2 say natsuo has the least right to be mad because enji didn't "abuse him" but don't realize negligence is abuse. it's literally classified as abuse. he was literally born thinking his dad felt he was a disappointment to the point where he didn't talk to him or let him talk to his youngest brother and it HAS an effect on him. natsuo has a lot of self perception issues, he thinks he's ugly and he panics if he doesn't do things perfectly in school and just. is very easily made to feel inferior and puts himself down. he doesn't consider himself special at all. He believes he lacks intrinsic worth as a human being.

Natsuo only went to college after his sister told him to go and do what he wanted to do…I promise you he was going to not go at all and was going to stay home with her until she told him she wanted him to go. BECAUSE natsuo doesn't rly consider enji a member of the family at all, natsuo has this goofy lil quirk where he thinks he's the "man of the house" even tho he asks fuyumi for help with basic things!!! most of the time it's funny but it's honestly just him being protective of her. And natsuo does cope with some perceptions of toxic masculinity --- he’s NOT abusive at all himself, but he’s goofy in the sense that he thinks he has to be the New man of the house, has to take care of his sister, has to never cry or show weakness, all because he’s male.

ENJI TAKES NO PART IN PAYING FOR NATSUO’S TUITION. He doesn’t even agree to go until Fuyumi insists she will use her own money to pay for it, and Natsuo works and studies because he wants to pay her back for every cent someday. Endeavor DOES NOT EVEN KNOW natsuo’s current address or which exact school he attends. natsuo wants it that way, but it’s also important to note that Enji never bothered asking.

Honestly Natsuo and Fuyumi probably argue a lot about endeavor, But that’s okay because they still love each other. Natsuo knows fuyumi puts everyone above herself and rly wants her to be happy, which is why.......frankly.....he’s glad kenta barreled into their lives. Because he’s like this is something Just For Her and I hope she likes him and it works out.

continuing on natsuo hates heroes and he hates his dad and frankly if he had a strong enough quirk he would have probably become like dabi. he really would have and he truly hates endeavor that much.

sb: so u agree with stain? natsuo: idk i just want someone to kill my dad.

Natsuo doesn't forgive endeavor, doesn't fuck with him, and blames him for everything that went wrong in his family. He honestly wants him to die! and he HATES the hero industry bc a literal monster like his father is praised and rewarded and they HELPED COVER UP TOUYA'S DEATH!!!!

and like with natsuo + touya.... time for pain. “Touya told me everything” / “I still hear his voice constantly” ... i think about those quotes always every time i think of natsuo. natsuo was the closest with touya and I truly believe that. He loved him more than anything . He really loved touya so much and he never got over losing him. 

kinda like inad hcs fuyumi saw shouto in the kitchen, i think natsuo saw touya last bc the way he describes touya telling him.... natsuo is shaking when he says it like. That shit traumatized him. And he’s just so angry. He did not leave touya. They had to PRY NATSUO OFF OF HIM. Because natsuo is loyal. 

like me and inad hc that fuyumi wouldn’t tell Natsuo where rei was for years because she knew even at 9 years old, he would have snuck on a bus to see her. Natsuo is so loyal to his family he loves them so much. He would have done anything for them. He wouldn’t have left Touya. He wouldn't have let touya go without him there. Not anywhere he couldn’t follow. Not even as a child.

and natsuo would NEVER be able to juxtapose that dabi isn't touya. I think the first time he saw Touya he would know but it wouldn’t be like. An instant look. He’s probably seen clips of some of the shit he’s done on tape and it’s always given him this unsettling feeling. But then he looks in his eyes...and he knows his eyes.

I always picture it like Natsuo forgetting however dangerous the surrounding is and chasing after him, he doesn’t even know why he’s running; he knows he wouldn’t stand a chance against him. But he sounds like a child again when he says “Touya?”. He sounds like the annoying, chubby little brother that followed him everywhere. And yeah, he would simply need that confirmation that Touya is alive to take his side because he knows more than fuyumi did. Simply seeing him alive again, and I think he’d know EXACTLY what Dabi wanted to do with Enji.

Dabi trying to scare Natsuo and Natsuo just “Touya cut it out talk to me” / “Touya I’m on your side” and it’s because Natsuo could never EVER see Dabi as a monster once he knows it’s Touya.  I don’t think he could ever feel fear based simply on the fact that he loved him that much. Touya was his favorite sibling he followed him around like a puppy and copied everything he did. 

Touya is the sibling he was closest to and i think the same in reverse since Natsuo is the one Touya vented to. I think fuyumi was probably really shocked when they were kids and Natsuo would suddenly say he hated enji. that he wished he was dead. She’d gasp and be like "Natsuo!"

But he’s HATED HIS GUTS since he was a little kid. He didn’t grow to resent him either. He basically didn’t care about him/was afraid of him when he was super super young, but the moment touya’s quirk didn’t work out and he was like what, 7-10? I’d say like 7 or 8 when shit started just Not Working. Natsuo was probably 4 or 5 when his own quirk manifested and was weak. Had this initial “why doesn’t dad like me” phase, but Touya just told him once something endeavor did to him or why his skin is starting to scar, and Natsuo instantly went from fear to hate. There was no build he simply hated him from that moment on. That’s how loyal he is!

He said he hated endeavor for the first time when he was five, but anyway i think a lot abt how natsuo like.... has the least ties w them all. That's why I say he’s a true middle child because he doesn’t have anything he’s good at that binds him to the family or makes him especially important to anyone. Like...he CARES about and loves shouto of course but i think if fuyumi weren't there natsuo wouldnt be in the picture at all. He just wouldn’t talk to them. Especially before he started talking to shouto? Absolutely. After now that he talks to him he would definitely stay to hang around him but before?

unfortunately because enji KEPT SHOUTO AWAY FROM THEM i think about how natsuo probably had what inasa felt where he saw shouto's eyes and saw endeavor and like. kept up that distance because of the trauma (tm) and i think when shouto got some friends and got out the house he tried talking to natsuo and natsuo was like "wait...me? you're...talking to me?" and like as soon as shouto started trying to talk to him he was rly receptive and was like shit i have 15 yrs of info to catch up on. 

but i rly think that's their relationship bc he literally didn't even know what kinda food shouto liked until now?? but he loves himand has become instantly very protective of him and once again things that because he’s the big brother he HAS to teach him things and be his “positive figure” and frankly I think shouto feels a little thrill whenever natsuo openly shittalks their father because out of all of them natsuo IS the one who hates him the most openly.

[la5t-res0rt]

Okay, but please consider once again; Beetlebabes and Anti Shippers should both be allowed to enjoy Beetlejuice without hate from anyone, we’re all just looking for a good time. You can avoid content you dislike, by either blocking a tag or user entirely. You don’t have to read something or look at it if you dislike it. Nether-Receipts also mostly counts death and rape threats sent directly to users and isn’t intended to send any hate to users. Hell, anti’s are allowed to submit things too!

ok here we go again so i get what youre i saying i understand that that would be super cool if everyone could just get along but the fact of the matter is that there are people in the world who are extremely triggered and hurt by certain content

and yes you can block people and yes you can block tags but if people know it will get a rise they will find a way

i have received accounts of certain parties deliberately breaking rules in discord servers that were clearly stated simply because they do not care about other people’s comfort or they do not care if theyre bothering people which frankly really bothers me

i have said before that i think a lot of people on the internet in general have issues with over identifying with bad traits and making it too integral to their personality and i think thats not great but i see it a lot

you could even argue that these anons that i have received tonight could have been sent through other channels via incognito windows or alternate accounts etc im fact i know for a fact that someone who sent me asks is someone who previously did have me blocked

isnt it sort of funny that im getting all of this all at once almost as if people have probably been talking about my shitty blog and planning out what theyd say to try and stump me but jokes on them i never shut up and have too much to say always i am never at a loss for words

if someone sent you to do this im sorry thats a huge bummer 

one more thing i gotta mention bc it would be cruel to not bring up but the accusations that you mention im not okay with those either im also not okay with making broad generalizations about eating disorders or responding to jokes with fiction with explicit rape the latter of which was deleted im pretty sure i dont know the specifics that was before i got tumblr but someone sent me a screencap

and im going to say this one more time i am pretty sure a lot of those asks are self sent if you examine the language and the content of the asks on the whole antis are pretty pc there are exceptions of course but on the whole there are certain phrases that arent used like slut is one that stands out thats kind of a slur in some circles

all im saying on that is that some of the worst asks that are sent seem to be almost too awful like the opposite of too good to be true i cant confirm that this is the case but it is what i think based on what ive seen from screenshots

also

you mention that antis can submit things too

thats kind of not true actually

i was angry recently because i saw that someone had actually reported someone for anti anti wow i hate how that sounds basically they were reported to the blog for saying some pretty mean things about fans of the musical that could be classified as gatekeeping and general nastiness for sure

the response to that submission was a lecture from the author of the blog and it was then deleted 

so yeah maybe they can submit but its not likely to be taken seriously but that being said if you want to send me stuff i wont repost it but i will get angry about it

anyway you seem like a nice person who only wants the best but to quote apersonal hero of mine magneto peace was never an option there is too much bad blood and too many morally sticky areas some of which are literally illegal in the united states but the internet is hard to monitor 

i hope this counts as considering

i stand by what i said in previous asks have a good night

[msueve]

hello!! this is slightly late because i’m just a Huge Mess and i never know what i’m doing and i probably shouldn’t even be bringing in this muse or already thinking about a second muse but it’s okay… hopefully... anyway!! my name is bek, i’m 18+, she/her, eastern time. some of you probably already know me or at least know of me and some of you probably have never heard of me at all which is fine! either way, i would love to plot with you and get to know you better!! i have a twitter which is @kmingross and my discord is kmingross#9674 if you’d prefer talking there, just pls let me know who u are if you choose to do so.

and now moving on to the muse!! so, this is my baby eve! you can read a little bit about her here, though i will admit it’s still a work in progress so there isn’t much information. i would suggest also reading her app if you want to know more about her personality because i am lazy and haven’t done the facts segment of her profile or a bio for her yet, but i will get to it probably!! 

she was raised in washington, usa

she’s a twenty-one-year-old toseong junior

she majors in herbology and minors in potions

she’s also co-president of the herbology club, as well as a member of the potions and magical creatures club

i’m sure it’s no secret but she was inspired by a mixture of characters (including one of my old muses), but the most evident is poison ivy with the way that she loves and finds solace in nature. 

she also really loves magical creatures and doesn’t fear the “creepy crawlies” so if there’s ever a spider or some other kind of bug bothering your muse, she’s your girl

she prefers her own company over the company of others, though there are a few exceptions

she has a general preference for women over men since she finds men incredibly annoying jFSJKLFS

she’s been through a lot and has a rough history, though no one would ever know because she is very guarded and doesn’t typically talk about anything too heavy with anyone, bc she doesn’t entirely trust people

she can be snarky and mean at times, or just sassy and playful, but she’s certainly not a sweet and kind-hearted person

she can be selfish and incredibly envious, feeling a lot of anger whenever she can’t manage to have what she wants

she’s a bit of a drama queen at times, making mountains out of mole hills bc SHE CAN

she’s very guarded and likely comes off as a bit of a loner to those that don’t know her, even though in her mind she has all of the company that she needs when spending time in the greenhouse

other than the greenhouse, she enjoys the pool of universe, the magical creature reserve, the astronomy tower, and even the trophy room bc it fascinates her

i’m getting kind of lazy but i think i’ve covered most of the important things!! i will try to come up with a general plots page and maybe a plots post for the event that i will do shortly!! if you would like to plot with my girl, just let me know!! come to me with ideas or like this and i will come to you! thank you for reading this if you have, i love you all already and i am excited!!

[sleevesareforlosers]

Hey! I saw you talking abt gender weirdness and I was wondering if I could get ur advice? I’m a feminine presenting person (out of necessity/habit) who knows I don’t identify as female, but I’m also definitely not a guy. She/her pronouns dont bother me, but they don’t feel ~right~ either. Anyway I’m 22 and feel like it’s ‘too late’ to come out, and since it’s not absolutely destroying my life, it would just make me feel more ME, it seems like an unnecessary struggle to put myself through. Thots?

first off, i’m sending u a HUGE amt of love bc even thinking abt this stuff can be overwhelming and scary so like. genuinely good job on that 💜💜

second, there’s a lot of variables here that i don’t know, so i can’t give like super tailored advice. even if/when u find an identity that fits the choice to share that with other people depends on so much. That being said, quarantine and (i assume) being online is kind of a great place to explore ur gender. even if it’s like. telling a discord chat that you want to try a new set of pronouns or saying “hey i want to be called x term instead of y” it’s a low-stakes way to find out what feels right and what makes you happiest. because...

third, that’s what it’s all about. what makes you happiest! if you think that sharing your gender with the world/the internet/one person from highschool that you kind of talk to sometimes/whoever is going to make you super stressed and you don’t think it’s worth it then don’t. if you know who you are and can be happy with that and living in that knowledge on your own then great! do that! but like you said, it would make you feel more like YOU. and don’t you deserve that? even if it’s around one person don’t you deserve to be addressed right and present that way you want and be you in every way you can?

i don’t think 22 is “too late” to come out, it’s literally never too late to come out. but if that seems intimidating (which it might! i know i still get intimidated by some gender shit as you may have noticed) you can start small. carve out little places and people that you can be yourself around and see how it feels. this is a choose your own adventure game that you get to write and play at the same time and i think you deserve to have fun with it

[gabriel-agreste-has-no-rights]

Rating: T

Summary: Luka is just minding his own business. XY is just hanging from the side of his boat.  Of course XY isn't going to shut up and leave him alone... but maybe that's not entirely a bad thing.

Word Count: 1843 | Chapter 1/4

Notes: Special thanks to Janai and Maddy for beta reading for me!! And being inspirations bc I wouldn’t ship this otherwise lol.  Luxy rights [dabs]

XXX

“C’mon, man, please!  This place is such an unsexy trash heap, she’ll never think to look for me here!”

Luka blinked down at XY from the Liberty’s deck.  Straight down, because the other boy was currently dangling from the side of the ship.  How had he even gotten there?  Tried to jump?  They had a plank, but he hadn’t bothered to ask Luka to lower it.  Luka probably wouldn’t have known he was there if he hadn’t watched his face smush against his bedroom porthole.

The smart thing might have been to ask “what are you doing here,” or maybe even “what makes you think I’ll do you any favors?”  But XY would probably have an easier time answering questions when he wasn’t hanging on by his manicured fingertips.

“Fine.”  He reached a hand down to haul him up.

“Woah!”  XY exclaimed at being yanked on deck.  Luka didn’t know why he was surprised.  He weighed almost as little as Marinette.

He dusted off his purple jacket with a sneer.  “Gross, I think I touched a barnacle.”

“We don’t have barnacles.”  Only because Officer Roger made them scrape the hull once a month, but still.  “You mind telling me why you’re here?”

“Pshaw, yeah.”  He plopped down in one of the folding chairs and crossed his feet on the table like he owned the place.  Unsurprising, considering his attitude said he owned everything.  Including his music and Marinette’s designs.

Even though they’d appeared on Bob Roth’s show in the end, that sting never entirely went away.  Maybe it was because it was his first (and only) time being akumatized, but the negative emotions still hung in the air like a discordant note.

Or maybe it was because music was meant to come from the heart, and Luka wasn’t convinced XY even had one.

He sighed and shook his head.  It wouldn’t do any good to confront the boy again and risk another akumatization.

He settled down cross-legged in the chair farthest from XY, where he could still keep an eye on him, but not hear his obnoxious humming quite so clearly.  Maybe working on Marinette’s melody would soothe some of his irritation away.

He was only three chords in when XY started talking.

“Do you know that blonde girl from the hotel?  The mayor’s kid?”

Luka blinked blankly.

“Her name’s er—Cole?  Clover?”

“Chloe?  I think Marinette’s talked about her.  Why?”

“Aaaaanyway, that girl’s been on my tail ever since we started staying at the hotel.  She’s probably my biggest fan.”

“Good for you,” he replied in monotone, strumming a few more chords.  Maybe a D minor would work there…

“No!  Awful for me!  She wants to take me out for pasta.  I don’t even like pasta!  Or girls!”

Luka blinked at that last bit.  “Can’t you just tell her that?”

“Ugh, I wish.”  He sighed, flopping his arms over the sides of the chair so they dangled against the deck.  “Dad says I can’t come out because it’ll be bad for my image.  The only thing I’m good for is my pretty face.”  

He said it like it was a fact.  Something about that turned Luka’s stomach.  He couldn’t imagine hiding being bi from his family.  Juleka knew she was lesbian practically since she was born, which made it a bit easier too, and it wasn’t like their mom cared either way.  

“Music should be about who you are on the inside, not just the way you look,” he said.  “Hiding such an important part of who you are must make it difficult to hear the melodies in your heart.”

XY snorted.  “Not sure what kind of hippie crap you’re talking about.”

Why was he even bothering?  They weren’t friends.  But still, this was the longest conversation he’d had with anyone outside of Juleka’s friends in… he couldn’t remember.

“Why did you tell me this, anyway?”  He asked, shaking off the thought.

“You asked why I was here.  Duh.”  XY dug some wax out of his ear and flicked it on the deck.

“But you said—nevermind.”  

Unsure how else to react, Luka readjusted his guitar and tried to pick up Marinette’s melody again.  But his fingers stumbled over the strings, refusing to press the right frets.

What did it mean that XY had come out to him of all people, when he otherwise wasn’t allowed to?  Didn’t he have anyone else to share his struggles with?  Or was he just trying to draw on Luka’s sympathy to keep him from kicking him off the boat?

Probably that last one.  After all, it didn’t seem like XY even knew this was Luka’s house when he showed up.

“I thought you were supposed to be good,” XY scoffed when Luka butchered another chord.

“I’m just playing the song in your heart.  It’s not my fault you’re out of tune.”

The boy blinked, as if no one had called out like that before.  Luka hadn’t even meant to, really—he should’ve just kept his mouth shut and let his music do the talking.

“I think my heart song needs more bass drops.”

“Wh—that’s what you’re concerned with?”

“Uh, yeah?  Your heart might be a boring guitar solo, but I’ve gotta have some kind of beat.”

Luka just sighed and shook his head.  “Play your own heartsong, then.”

If that was supposed to make XY shut up, it failed miserably.

“Huh.  Sounds like your weird hippie stuff again.”

Luka didn’t point out that he had been the one to argue what his heartsong would sound like in the first place.

“Dad wouldn’t want to hear something like that, anyway,” he mumbled.  “Can’t top the charts with mushy junk.”

“Is that all you care about?  Being number one?”

XY looked at him like he was stupid.  “Yeah.  Why else would I make music?”

Something in his gut twisted.  It was just so wrong, to hear someone talk about music like that.  

“Because you enjoy it?  Because it lets you express yourself?”  

XY snorted.  “Maybe that works for you.  I can’t… it just doesn’t work like that.”

“Have you tried?”

“Yeah!”

Luka jumped at the anger in XY’s voice.  It was nothing like the nasally drawl he was used to.  

His blue eyes flashed with regret before he settled back in the chair. “...Sorry.  That wasn’t very cash money of me.”

XY?  Apologizing?  What kind of nerve had he touched?

“...It’s okay, I guess,” Luka mumbled back.

XY scoffed and ran a hand through his gelled mess of hair.  “This was stupid.”

“What?”  This whole situation was stupid, but probably not for the reasons XY thought.

“You’ve just—you’ve got all kinds of ideas.”

“Yeah?  So?”  Not everyone’s head could be as empty as his.

Luka received another of XY’s are you stupid stares, which was pretty ironic considering which one of them had been hanging off the side of the boat a few minutes ago.

“My dad, no matter what he says—he hates ideas.”

Luka shrugged.  “Sounds like he doesn’t know much about music, then.”

“No, he knows everything about music.  What sells, what doesn’t.  So when he said my original music sucked—I knew he was right.”

“That’s…” That’s terrible didn’t cut it, just like it hadn’t cut it earlier.  He shouldn’t care; it wasn’t like he owed XY his sympathy.  Heck, he didn’t even like him.  

But when it came to having your music rejected… he could only imagine what it would be like to have a family member deny such an important part of his soul.

He might have said that out loud, if the moment hadn’t been broken by a voice from the street.

 “XY!  Where are you?  Stop being utterly ridiculous and come back!  You said you were going to show me your new song!”

“I didn’t say that,” XY hissed, pressing himself flat against the chair.

Luka sat up a bit straighter to see the blonde girl searching the street, her ponytail whipping back and forth.

“I’m guessing that’s Chloe,” he said.

XY clasped his hands together and made a face that was probably supposed to be puppy eyes.  It would’ve worked a lot better if he stopped making those duck lips.

“Don’t rat me out, man, please!  I know you don’t like my music, but you wouldn’t make me—”

“Please, just—shut up.”  Luka rubbed his temples.  XY was going to give himself away by talking that loud.

For once, he actually listened.  Chloe’s shouts rang out for a few more seconds before she decided he must not be at the riverside.

XY heaved a giant sigh.  “Pretty cash money of you to hide me.  I’d better get back now.  Got some new holograms to touch up.”

“You make your own holograms?”

“Pshaw, no.  Dad has people for that.  They like seeing my gorgeous face while they’re at it though.”

Yeah, he should’ve seen that coming.  He didn’t know why even now, he kept holding out hope that XY would show some trace of the real music inside his heart.  Maybe he really was just a tinny pop beat—but when he’d spoken about his dad, he almost sounded like he had a soulful rock ballad hiding under the surface.

Probably just wishful thinking.

XY stood up, brushed off his butt as if the Liberty’s “unsexy garbage” clung to him, and looked over the railing.

“So. Uh.  How do I get off?”

Luka rolled his eyes.  At least he hadn’t jumped off into the river.

“Let me get the plank.”

When he got done rolling the walkway over the edge of the boat to the street, he straightened back up and jumped.

“Didn’t anyone teach you about personal space?”  He glared at XY, whose blue eyes were just inches from his.  They might’ve been pretty if they weren’t so close he could barely see.

Then, as if this day couldn’t get any weirder, XY planted a smooch on his cheek.

“What the heck are you doing?”  Luka moved to wipe the spit off his face, but XY grabbed his wrist first.

“I just increased your face’s net worth by like, a billion euros!  As thanks for getting me out of that jam.  If you’re gonna wipe it off, at least sell the rag on ebay or something.”  He winked.

“I should’ve left you on the side of the boat where you were hanging.”

“But you didn’t.”  

XY, being… himself, almost fell into the river while throwing his hand sign from the plank.  

Luka snorted and shook his head.  At least watching him make a fool of himself was entertaining.

“See you next time I need to hide from Cole.  So probably like, tomorrow.”

“I didn’t invite you back.  I didn’t invite you the first time.”

“Like you’d say no to the number one chart topper in Paris.”

“Number two.”

“Still not a no.  See ya, Lucky!”

“It’s Luka!”

“Luke, right!”

Luka groaned.  That boy was the human equivalent of an out-of-tune trumpet.

But his eyes still followed him down the street until he was out of sight.

[the-nope-train]

i’m gonna vent bc i feel like no one will see this anyway... i will title this “i hate long distance” and also “i hate people who can’t take responsibility for something they know they did wrong”

so basically my LDR boyfriend is really good friends with my ex-friend...

we’re all a distance from each other and i introduced her to all of my friends in my discord server and apparently my boyfriend and her got along really well. 

they ended up playing a few games together and listening to music together for hours in my discord chat which kinda bothered me at the time and what felt bad about it is he was so invested in everything she was saying whereas he’s literally told me he doesn’t care about something i said or he just says “oh” and sends a shrugging emote. i’ve told him before that when he says he doesn’t care it’s hurtful, so he stopped, but i recall him saying, “i’m not going to say i don’t care because you’ll get mad,” just to imply that, yeah, he didn’t care. don’t get me wrong, he’s not always saying it, but he doesn’t ask what’s going on in my life anymore. 

anyway, that night, i told him like hey i just kind of feel like u don’t care. i didn’t mention my friend because i didn’t want it to seem like i was just jealous; it was genuinely an ongoing issue and that was my breaking point. well... he got mad  ignored me for 3 days instead.

in that 3 days, he spent more time with my ‘friend’ and she told someone that they had played animal crossing for 6 hours while listening to music together in HER server that she made. a server she didn’t invite me to. she actually made two of those, by the way. what was weird about it is she deleted a whole channel with them talking together and no one saw what they talked about. she claimed the reason was that it was just spam messages. 

so i confronted her the next day and was like hey it just feels kind of weird that ur spending so much time with him and not once did u check on me (she was told by 3 different people that i was really upset about everything) and i was like “it would just be nice if u were more open about it” and she agreed and said she’d stop talking to him until things were okay between us. she tried to say she wouldn’t be his friend anymore, but i told her that i want them to be friends, but that i want her to be transparent about their friendship. the next day, my bf (who still wasn’t talking to me) was in my discord chat listening to music and she immediately started texting him in the channel and then that night my friend sent me a screenshot of them talking and she was asking my bf to play games w her again and he said something about his sleep schedule being messed up and she said “i hope it’s not my fault” and he goes “yeah i’ll blame you” and that also made me really upset bc she wasn’t even following through with what she told me hahahaha

so, i just unfriended her. i talked to my bf about everything and he took her side (of course) and was saying i owed her an explanation. he said she doesn’t think she did anything wrong and that she did what i asked (no, she didn’t). so, a week later, i gave her an explanation. i wrote a page and a half of everything that went through my mind and she said, and i quote, “i don’t think i’m a good influence on either of you, but i’m still going to spend time with him, and i’m not going to apologize because i didn’t intend for any of this to happen. i think your reason for being upset is crazy and i don’t trust you on my social media anymore. i don’t intend on getting close to either of you though. i think you’re just upset because he didn’t talk to you and talked to me instead.” the best part of this was when she said “i don’t think i have to tell you when or if i spend time with him.” okay, sure. spend all night talking to my boyfriend while he ignores me, when you’re supposed to be MY friend. yeah, that’s cool. anyway, she then proceeded to unfriend everyone from my server, except my boyfriend, and i have since blocked her. 

my boyfriend showed me a screenshot yesterday of his discord and the only other chat was her and some other person he met through her. so, i know they still talk quite a bit. i’ve noticed recently he’s been using emotes she uses a lot and once ‘accidentally’ sent me a text that i know was meant for her (it was regarding art, which is what she lives and breathes). i also noticed that he follows her on instagram now. so much for not getting close to him i guess?? 

ever since this happened, my boyfriend has been extremely distant. he’s always spending time alone. he doesn’t say i love you. he doesn’t show affection. says “maybe” or flat out says no to doing things together. i confronted him about this too and all he says is “i’m just like this, you get accustomed to a lot of attention in the beginning and then i focus on myself.” he didn’t have much to add because apparently i was laying out too much for him and it was giving him “a headache” trying to tackle every issue i brought up. he said it’s valid and that he understands how it would hurt me, but that it’s just how he is and that he can’t help some things (ex. he can’t call me anymore because it’s hard to do that living in a small apartment with parents, which is fair). but... after that discussion, he literally didn’t talk to me for FOUR days and claimed it was because he’d be sleeping off and on. i told him... i saw you online? he said that he just leaves discord open. that’s funny, i didn’t know discord statuses could change themselves. he said that if it mattered so much that i could’ve just messaged him again and ask him myself. i asked him why i’d do that if the last time something like that happened he ignored me. he asked what i wanted, and i went to town talking about how he needs to be as good at communicating as he expects me to be, and i went on and on. all he did was say “okay.” bullshit.

i don’t get why he needs more time alone when we’re already miles apart and don’t even do half the things we used to together. we’d spend all day watching movies, shows, videos, calling each other, playing games, drawing, telling stories... and now it’s hard to even have any real conversation with him. yesterday i asked if he’d be interested in watching this movie with me and he said no. i cried. i don’t even know why i cried. but i realized... it’s because if it were the person he was, he’d have said yes and said “anytime.” but he won’t do that anymore. not for me. 

it’s worse that one of the servers my ex-friend made was for minecraft and i’d been asking him so much to play with me and we only played once together and he’s been avoiding it ever since. he just doesn’t want to play it with me. and i KNOW it’s not because he doesn’t like minecraft anymore bc he’d tell me when he was playing by himself. so it’s either he likes to play with her or he likes to play by himself, maybe? i know that’s not even a big deal but jesus fuck

i’ve been drowning in sorrow for the past two months over this. and yet, i don’t let go.

[sumeshi-t]

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭