#on twitter the only thing i can find this way is drama it's exhausting

[icharchivist]

being too terminally online on this website has a lot of downsides, but what isn’t one is when you see a joke being pretty funny, and then, at some point, either hours or years later, you see a joke about this joke, and then closely afterward another one, and then it takes like one hour for this joke to suddenly become Tumblr Big Meme, and because you were online the entire time you saw how it went from normal joke to website-wide joke and it’s hysterical. I love it here.

[catboymoments]

Me: Asks you to educate yourself, providing easy access to videos that, turns out, directly address the issues that make you dislike vivziepop and provide more context than tumblr and twitter hate threads ever do

You responded to that quickly I know you didn't bother watching. Bruh. I told you a lot of the hate around Vivziepop isn't valid and you don't check it out? See if any of your concerns fell under the one video I directly recommended?? The creator had timestamps too.

Going to the video would have told you the one nazi oc was from eight years ago. And it wasn't even hers! The Vivziepop drama playlist goes in depth about the updates concerning the people Vivziepop has worked with. Which SEVERAL people that worked with her came out to defend her and provide their experiences

You'd find out if you had just watched the videos, the proof, that people love to hate on Vivizie for clout and to farm likes and attention. They take screenshots out of context, go on tangents without proof, etc.

And expect you to believe them.

SO I'll do this one more time to address what specifically you said you disliked about Vivzie.

This playlist has all the videos I will talk about and more. So, if you know of any other drama and controversy surrounding Vivziepop you should probably consult that before forming your opinion: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOWIXPh0p7CzgQoUIl7rqd8oz2Ym6V9XY&si=lhDApDPhX5sWyTHA

Again, it can be found by typing into the Youtube search bar, "ayy lmao vivziepop drama"

You'll find their playlist "Vivziepop Drama Playlist" right there or even just going to the youtube channel "Ayy Lmao" and looking through the playlists.

Specifically addressing what makes you dislike Vivziepop:

The one Nazi oc, the only one to exist, is discussed in "Why everyone hates Vivziepop" at 20:07 and in "The Truth Behind Vivziepop" at 5:07 The latter has more information on that and it only takes TWO MINUTES to watch! With screenshots and proof and everything.

If you heard somewhere that there were multiple, did where you heard that have a source? To, y'know, back up the claim? If you can find it that would be lovely otherwise that is just an allegation either someone told you or you are misremembering.

The drama concerning their workplace goes mainly from the beginning of the playlist to "Vivziepop Erin Frost Drama Round 3"

Multiple artists and people that worked with Vivziepop come out in support of Vivziepop and debunk claims made by others in "Helluva boss employees debunk Vivziepop allegations (Vivziepop drama Part 4)"

I'm not sure what you are referring to when you say "the way she treats her friends" and since you haven't provided any sort of source I can only guess that you may be thinking about the ugly situation covered in "Vivziepop Spindlehorse Drama Explained"

I can already tell by the amount of people responding to the first ask I sent that you have a platform, at least a larger audience compared to the average user. If you have problems with x y and z thing about Vivziepop, provide links and proof to what concerns you in the future.

If you don't remember or can't find that proof. Watch the videos. That simple. Put it on in the background, educate yourself, before you spread any more misinformation. Please.

Then form your opinion. It's a lot and I know it is a lot but you need to know this before jumping on the bandwagon of canceling someone. Especially if you have a large audience.

Vivziepop drama and hatedom is so exhausting you wouldn't BELIEVE IT. People are constantly spewing hate without providing PROOF. THEY'RE ALLEGATIONS! Even with "proof" most are out of context and bad faith. There is a motive to lie about someone as well known as Vivziepop

I'm not asking you to like her I'm asking you to educate yourself before repeating what you've heard and provide sources to back them up.

[ishgardmuffin]

Hey, I'm alive.

Hey tumblr people, I am in fact, alive.

I've been struggling with a lot of things lately and pollen season is doing its best to take me out, but I'm surviving. I've been reasonably active on twitter, part of me regrets it quite a bit though honestly. As anyone who has been part of the XIV community there might know, the almost daily drama is kinda exhausting and the more recent one was just so incredibly gross.

It's not just the drama, either honestly. Twitter's over all spoiler etiquette is really.. non existent. I'm an anime only viewer with Dunmeshi atm (Physical manga is really expensive here) and since the show has gotten quite popular I'm seeing more and more spoilers, including a very big one recently that has kinda ruined my excitement to see the next episodes. People are much more polite and reliable with their tagging when it comes to this kinda stuff on tumblr I find.

Anyways, I need to sorta make my way back here. There are people on twitter I really do love and enjoy interacting with and I'm not gonna leave, but I think that as a whole I might be more comfortable being more active here. I'm sorry to the people that have recently followed me here and have received absolutely nothing in return 😅hopefully I can soon begin to change that.

[honeygold-dew]

Not here to fight or put anyone down but I do feel like I need to get this off my chest. I’m frustrated as I type but just know I mean no harm to others and appreciate kind responses even if disagreeing. It’s just… it’s too much.

Of course I know negative opinions of the show exist and everyone has the right to their own opinion, I try my best to accept that all views are valid views, but some of them have actually been hurtful to me. There are a bunch of articles written about this drama, especially because there’s an autistic female lead, a bunch of threads on twitter, people in real life talking about the show, and somehow this small space on tumblr I joined just some days ago is the safest I ever feel as someone on the spectrum while watching it every week.

Someone told me directly that Extraordinary Attorney Woo is actually harmful to the autistic community, in response to me being happy about it and enjoying it every week. Granted this person was non-autistic and went off takes by another people calling Youngwoo exaggerated, stereotypical and non-realistic, saying she casts unrealistic expectations for autistic people for neurotypicals — and, honestly, I just started crying.

I’ve had people tell me not to watch the show because the first episode made them “uncomfortable with the stereotypes”, I’ve had people tell me Youngwoo having difficulty with the revolving door is the most cringe thing ever (“What? Do they think autistic people are dumb?”), I’ve had people say her mannerisms are unrealistic. And you know what, I can still handle all of those, but being told that a drama where I finally feel seen and look forward to watching every week is actually harmful for the community I’m in? Made me feel so fucking shitty. I feel defeated, actually. I feel ashamed for enjoying this show when everything other than this small space is telling me I’m not allowed to. I feel ashamed that I relate to a character that’s apparently exaggerated and harmful. I feel ashamed of my autistic traits. I feel ashamed of my autism. I’m tired of explaining I disagree and want to watch the show. I’m tired of being overlooked because everyone’s only looking at negative opinions over the influx of positives from us. I’m tired that since this drama came out, I have had to explain and explain, instead of them just accepting that I like this and feel seen.

“This is too exaggerated” while my best friend who behaves exactly like Youngwoo watches the show with me every week. While many people in both online and offline spaces say Youngwoo is who they are without masking.

“There’s no masking so it’s not realistic” for you, maybe. Not everyone masks. Not everyone has to mask. Not everyone can mask. Masking makes us exhausted, it can hurt us, it can be a response of social abuse trauma so it can vary for each person. Youngwoo is simply another autistic person who does not mask, as exists in real life, and is valid in living that way.

“She’s stereotypical, it’s bad” but there are autistic people who still match the stereotypes. I match some, my friends on the spectrum match others. We see ourselves in Youngwoo. Past media didn’t do the best job at autistic representation, but why are we not valid because of them? Why are we now harmful?

“She can’t get through a revolving door, this is so exaggerated I’m cringing, no one acts like this” It took me weeks to use an escalator because of the motion when looking at it (even now I still hesitate), a revolving door is no different, am I now too cringe to be autistic? You can say you find some scenes cringey and you won’t be watching anymore. It’s not hard to be accommodating to the people who do struggle instead of making them feel like they don’t belong.

Why are we as real people being valued and assessed for… reviews on a kdrama? Just because there’s a character with the autistic label? The show isn’t even about her autism, it’s about her as a lawyer and her life with her friends, family and job?

I don’t understand why I am meant to feel this way. I don’t understand why, for anyone claiming to care so much about the community, that they don’t want to listen to everyone in it. I don’t understand why it can’t just be accepted this is an ordinary kdrama that happens to have an autistic character and move on, instead of them being probed under a microscope even when there are good and heartfelt responses to the character. Why must I explain and explain and explain. Why can’t this show just be for me instead of educating everyone else who don’t bother to talk to autistic people or learn about autism in real life, as all of us have done before.

I’ve watched the movies and shows with autistic characters everyone insists you should watch before seeking diagnosis because “are you sure you’re autistic when you don’t act like that?”. I knew I was autistic from talking to other autistic people, from researching about autism, from asking the questions I needed. I didn’t feel seen in those shows and I don’t put down people who do. But this, when I finally have something where I can associate and see my autism with explicit love, to be exposed to all of this is just… overwhelming, honestly.

It just sucks.

[invertedfate]

Not trying to be rude, just curious: when will the next video come out?

We'll announce when we have a date! Please keep in mind that video production takes a lot of time and we don't want to release more chapters until we have at least Rift 7 - 9 complete. I understand that people are anxious for a new chapter since it's been a few months, but I've also just been unmotivated and needed some time to just do other things. This doesn't mean IF is dead, but it's been eight years, and to be honest, the older I get, the more exhausted I get from some of the fandom climate (especially on Twitter). Obviously, a big fandom like UT is always gonna be heated and loud because the larger a fanbase, the more people, and the more people, the more chance there is for people to be loud. But I'm tired of people trying to treat my opinions as gospel, or people who try to use Inverted Fate as a way to shit on other creators. I know that in the past, I had been really vocal and picky about other fanworks, but looking back, I feel nothing but regret about that. But everyone who goes "Inverted Fate is the only good AU" and uses it to shit on people who like even AUs I don't like need to stop. I also don't like when people try to get me to speak out on the latest fandom drama or get my "hot takes" about AUs/fanworks I dislike. I get that I used to be more involved in that- I've picked fights I never should've, gotten too defensive without hearing people out. That's why these days I try to just focus on creating rather than getting so involved in the latest fandom tea. It's just that various factors have contributed to burnout, along with certain realizations about my own mental health/traumas that go way, way back and aren't really the kinda thing to discuss on an AU blog, haha. I want to be in the best mindset I can be so that when I do write the final chapters of IF, they're satisfying. I don't wanna halfass it, y'know? But I just have some stuff to sort out and I need to take a step back and focus on other things that bring me joy so that I can come back with a clearer head. The good news is, I have enough scripted that Liz and other members of the IF team have what they need for the most part. I'm just kinda in a place where it's harder for me to find the same joy. I need some cool down time. Creating something new and engaging with a new fandom is allowing me to get a little distance so I can come back refreshed later.

But please rest assured, I do plan to finish this story. There are so many things we're excited to share. Hopefully I can work through this funk and make 2024 a good year for IF.

[cometrose]

Exactly the only thing different is the genders, if they were reversed everyone would be on his side like you said we've seen this story a 100 times, not that there isn't a lot of misogyny in fandom spaces like all spaces and dramas still have room for improvement when it comes to female characters in general but the way fandom has changed these last few years is just crazy, no nuance no complexity nothing interesting just perfect characters or they will get eaten alive and when it comes to romance, all they want is endlessly devoted men the women and their actions don't even factor into it it's all omg he's such a green flag and she fell first he fell harder we've completely lost the ability to engage with media, everything becomes morality discourse for fake people. I don't remember how they phrased it but someone said the way these people engage with media is because the only activism they know is online they haven't done anything in real life which is why they think fictional characters and their actions are tantamount to what real people believe...

ooh this is such a good point and I agree truly.

Bullied by in-laws? Ignored by spouse? In any other story people would be rallying for HW to get on the quickest flight out of there (I mean I was lol)

There is still a lot of misogyny within fandoms and dramas themselves so I always try to be thoughtful when discussing female characters but god you're so right. We just want perfection from these characters all the time and some many people just want perfect tropes perfect characters and perfect stories all the time its exhausting.

I am repeating myself but I do like how they aren't hopelessly devoted to each other all the time. I've watched two dramas this year, Marry My Husband and Perfect Marriage Revenge, and both male leads are knee-on-the-ground, would do anything for their respective female leads and while i do like those boys I also don't mind a male lead that has contradictory emotions for his partner.

Like the biggest thing here is nuance, the truth is obvious from the beginning that Hyunwoo clearly loves Haein he has just buried that feeling under all this frustration and resentment that he can no longer recognize it. These people don't have perfectly good feelings or behaviors towards each other and I think that's fine.

Plus this is a story about an estranged married couple like how would there be drama if they were perfectly perfect partners to each other all the time? Even though they may love each other that love isn't enough to be a happy couple. Haein says that she did not write Hyunwoo in the will because she wished to marry him as soon as possible and had to get through her mother first essentially leaving him high and dry but they were so in love it didn't matter. Like noooo these complexities are interesting plus it is so common for spouses to grow to hate each other and seeing there relationship grounded in some aspect of reality is a fresh change. I welcome it.

Don't get me started on morality politics on social media, the first two eps dropped I went on twitter saw one discussion tweet and knew I couldn't stay there it would drive me crazy. People are always trying to idolize someone these days, to find some perfect thing or unproblematic item to worship unconditionally instead of just accepting some things are fundamentally flawed and discussing their strengths and weaknesses.

[eoinmcgonigal]

So I saw a post about tumblr wanting to try this 'communities' thing, and I just gotta vent/say my piece. (the tl;dr is 'fuck that shit')

1. I really hate the current trend of fracturing and fragmenting things down into little pieces so they can be categorised into boxes. That's not natural. (Also, discord pushing threads, which I already detest for 1) making me feel like I'm gonna hurl from the violently dissonant, ugly layout, 2) the severely narrow topic problem, and 3) how neurodiverse-hostile they are.)

Like, naturally conversations meander. If you're only allowed to discuss one topic, it's gonna be stifling. You WILL run out of things to say. Making another little box isn't going to fix it, it'll just add to the clutter

2. Quite importantly, honestly, just stop fucking changing shit. It's unnecessary

3. It's not going to be neurodiverse-friendly. As if fandom hasn't changed enough to become increasingly unfriendly to people who are just here to enjoy their hyperfixation and/or special interest. I don't need another thing to learn to navigate. I don't need another place with different rules to carefully traverse. Yes, I'm fandom old and salty. I'm AuDHD and a spoonie with about half a spoon to spend on a good day. I do not have the energy to do all this switching about and jumping from thing to thing. It's exhausting. I want everything where I can find it, and where I can be passionate without having to perform tasks like it's some customer service job, or job interview

4. FOMO shit is toxic. This whole 'be a part of the thing!' necessity if you want to 'engage' or see the conversations and 'content'. Why? I guess it's a social media model that drives engagement, but the stress of it is going to fuck people up. What if you don't have the time, energy, health, spoons, social skills, etc? I have no idea how much interacting will be expected with other people in the 'community' but I can see it becoming a twitter-like circlejerk, and if you're not one of the 'in' crowd doing your required interaction/reblogging/commenting then you might as well not exist to that fandom/group

5. From the description, it looks like these things will be ripe for drama, toxicity, clique shit, becoming echo chambers, etc. because 'semi public' means you gotta opt in/join in some way and whatever's said isn't visible to any old user

Like, who is going to create and mod these things? Who decides what the rules are? What if your fave is 'problematic', or your kink is 'gross' (if nsfw is allowed at all), your take doesn't fit with fanon, or you are just a bit weird and people shun or turn on you for that?

I hope I'm wrong and either these things never happen or they're not as bad as I fear, but fuck sakes I have the above worries because it's shit I've seen happen time and time again, and I don't want to see given a place here

Also, genuinely, what the fuck is tumblr going to be like if you can't/don't want interact with these community things?

Quickly, 6. it creates an 'us' (in crowd) vs. 'them' (not part of our gang)

And then 7. who is going to be dominant in these 'communities'?

Yes, I'm upset right now, because tumblr was just fine (well, fine enough) until this point. I mean:

We have the ability to make sideblogs! (My Star Wars sideblog from... well a decade ago oops... is still out there, I don't touch it any more but I left it up for people to go through). Tumblr even made it so we can reply with sideblogs, which was a very neat update.

Tags!! I don't think it's as usual these days for people to go through tags to find new content, but that's how I do it, how I've always done it, and how I always intend to do it. I'm not following everyone who makes an SAS:RH post. I love you guys, but no. My dash would cause me to have a panic attack. It's already too much for me most days.

EFFORT!!!! I can be here every day full-time doing Stuff if I want! Or I can zone out for weeks if I want/need, materialise and contribute a silly meme, then drift off into the sunset again. If I 'miss' anything, I can go back through the tags, or scroll someone's blog. But honestly, who notices/cares on here if someone lurks or goes afk for a bit. It's super low pressure, because I'm doing what I can/want when I can/want

I want to opt in/out on my own time and terms. The thought of having to be part of a 'community' so I can see/not miss Content TM is freaking me out. I don't want there to be an 'appropriate' time window to interact with things like there is on other social media sites.

So, idk how the shit will look, but I don't agree with making things harder for people to access/find. I won't be posting stuff 'semi-privately'.

And you know what's super upsetting? The thought that I won't be able to see conversations and creations for things I love, because they're hidden away behind some complex new social thing I can't navigate. (Which is already an off-putting, ostracising problem on discord.) That's not how fandom communities should be.

The thought of there being less stuff 'out there' because it's in some 'community' somewhere... really not the direction I'd ever hope this site wold go in

I'm fuckin exhausted. Just lemme do my fandom whateverness without having to perform to some arbritary social interaction standard/requirements that I neither understand nor can do

[youreignhere]

Mental Health & The Lack of Mental Health Care in the K-Pop Industry

The K-Pop Industry has helped brought forward the Greatest Performers, Dancers, Singers and Groups to this day. The industry is a Billion Dollar powerhouse for South Korea and has boosted the Nation’s connection to the World.

K-pop has played a huge role in Korea’s Tourism boost, the rising love for Korean Dramas and Movies being appreciated by International fans. With the growth of Korean Media, for example Youtube Videos by Korean Content Creators are being viewed by Foreign viewers, all of this contributing to the overall Economy of South Korea. While K-pop has only been around since the early 1990s, over 30 years old and it has changed the entire Music Industry for the better.

While K-Pop may have many great things, there are also a lot of dark sides within the K-Pop Industry as a whole. Today, we’ve decided to write a semi-well-researched rant about some things that we have a problem within the K-Pop Industry. Starting with the Overworking Crisis and the Lack of Mental Health Care in the K-Pop Industry.

Before we begin, feel free to like the blog and lease note, if you want to support or request a Blog Topic, please follow me here and Message us on Twitter. We will link all the sources used within the blog and in a Google Doc visible for all.

This Blog is also supported by affiliates as we’re not in a country that allows Stripe Pay, so Medium can’t support us. We are grateful for any comments, likes and shares even if you can’t support us financially.

Bare in mind, this post contains references to Suicide, Depression, and other Mental Health Disorders with references to Trauma. We will do our best to pay respect to the Names mentioned. May they all Rest in Power. Please continue with caution if this may trigger you in any way. After all, your mental health also matters and I will not fault you for finding something more comfortable to read.

Now, if you are still with me, let’s get into the nitty gritty.

Chapter One: Toxic Productivity in the K-Pop Industry

Before we delve into Mental Health, I would like to start with Toxic Productivity, or in simpler terms, Overworking. From what we have witnessed online and sometimes in person, Idols just collapsing after a performance or when the lights go down. They are so tired that they can barely stay standing or walk off a stage.

But what exactly is Overworking or in other words Toxic Productivity? And how has this become the norm in both Western & Asian Culture, specifically the K-Pop Industry?

Better Up dot com says that “Toxic productivity describes the drive to produce while neglecting other important aspects of our lives. We value productivity over everything else, like rest or quality time with loved ones.”

This has become Hustle Culture or that “Grind” Mindset that many on social media push to their audiences. While there is nothing wrong with working hard, working to the point of exhaustion, to the point where you forget or disregard your own needs or those that rely on you, is Toxic and even Physically Harmful.

Companies and even the media have pushed that “Grind” mindset for years but fortunately Millenials and Gen Z have picked up on the bullshit and many are fighting against the system or simply disregarding that system by refusing to work countless hours for barely minimum wage. But the sad fact is that companies don’t care that the Hustle mindset is Toxic or unhealthy, they only care about the revenue they can bring in the more their employees work and as you can tell, even the K-Pop Industry and Korea as a whole has companies like this.

Better Up goes on to state, “Productivity equals revenue, so companies want employees to value it as much as they do. This frame of mind is considered toxic because it’s culturally contagious. The more a society promotes overworking as valuable, the harder people work. And it can also have negative consequences like burnout and poorer relationships.”

Companies that encourage overworking have a special space in Hell. I am sure most of you guys reading think the same and feel the pain when your Fave rapper, singer, dancer or group is tired and obviously working too much. Especially after learning just how much Overworking or Toxic Productivity can Physically affect a person. Overworking of course leads to burning out- which let me tell you guys, is so horrible- but it is also proven to lead to adverse health problems, neck chest and back pains and even stroke to name just a few. Just take a look at this 2016 article reporting on some Idols who suffered the effects of Overworking.

At this point, I don’t even care if they have to put out that reality series or work on a new song. I’d much prefer if they took a week off, no actually. I want them to take an entire month off. I just want them to visit family, relax, don’t touch a lick of music or choreography. Have the free time to catch up on trends and just sleep. God, some of them just need to sleep for a month, shaking my head.

Sometimes, this isn’t the companies’ fault and more so the Idol/s pushing themselves too much, mentally and physically, all for the sake of their loving fans. Due to Korea and many times, Black & Asian, even Western Culture pushing this “Hard & Long Work Hours guarantees Success mentality”, ignoring the fact that Suicide has become rampant due to the pressure on many Teens or Young Adults in or out of the K-Pop Industry. With the stress to perform well academically starting at the young age of 10, it has been ingrained into many, in or out of the K-Pop Industry.

However, as we know, Overworking does more harm than good and I wish I could just grab certain Idols and just shake them until they see sense. I know at the end of the day, many of them choose the life of an Idol and are adults who can make decisions for themselves. I just don’t agree with some of their choices (that’s pretty fair too, not like they are going to care about what some stranger on a blog says lol).

If you have any experience with Toxic Productivity, please let me know in the comments, I would love to see everyone’s thoughts on this as a whole, because we pretty much see it everyday in our normal lives as well.

But before we head into the next chapter, I would like to take a moment to help you save money on the latest in K-Pop Merch. Please bear with me, as this Blog topic is going to get a bit deeper as we dive into Mental Health and I would like to make this a quick break as well as an opportunity for you, the reader.

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Chapter Two: Mental Health & Mental Health Care in the K-Pop Industry.

Let’s start with, What is Mental Health?

This is taken from our past blog, Everyone has Mental Health; The World Health Organization states, “Mental Health is an essential component in overall Health, as Mental Health decides our emotional, physical and social well-being. This can affect any person’s contribution to their environment and overall life.”

To put it in layman’s terms, Mental Health helps how we handle stress or anxiety, relate to others and topics, and determine our choices or behavior in life. The World Health Organization, or WHO continues to state that, “Mental Health is key at all stages of Life.”

Just like Physical Health, Mental Health is equally important for every person. However, it has been pushed aside in the media, education, and by society as a whole. Mental Health is never brought up when it can decrease your overall health just as much as diabetes or a stroke.

Just like you have Physical Health, everyone has Mental Health. Please feel free to read more about what is Mental Health on our Everyone has Mental Health Blog Here.

Mental Illness or Mental Health Disorders (they can be referred to as both) are classified as a or many significant disturbances in a person’s cognitive, emotional, and even physical behavior. As of a 2019 study from the World Health Organization, 1 in every 8 people globally is affected by Mental Illness. Making that an estimate of almost 1 Billion people worldwide (as of 2021) are directly affected by Mental Health in one way or the other.

Anxiety and Depression are the most common for Entrepreneurs and in this case Musicians or Idols. You can read more about the link to Mental Health Disorders and how it connects to Entrepreneurs from our blog post here. Toxic Productivity and Overworking also connects to Mental Health Disorders, as overworking is known to harm your physical and mental well being. Sadly, many Idols show symptoms of these and other Mental Illnesses and unfortunately, there are many times where no amount of fame or money can help ease that pain.

Remember, K-Pop Idols are many times put on harsh diets, told to look and act a certain way or their real personalities would not be liked. They are constantly put in the spotlight and have to conform to rigorous schedules, while many of them deal with Anxiety, Depression and low self-esteem or Self Hatred. Not to mention the mental pressure that Society and many fans place on them to be “perfect”.

With the fact that many K-pop Companies rarely care that much about Mental Health, much less their Idols’ mental health, not taking into consideration just how much toxic productivity, anxiety and depression can physically affect a human being. Causing them to spiral and fester for sometimes years, in absolute silence. Until they feel absolutely alone, even when surrounded by loving fans and a family like group. Suicide, seemed to be a last and, sadly many times, most pleasing option of a way out of the Industry and pain.

Considering how many Idols we have lost just in the past decade due to the lack of Mental Health Care and Mental Health Awareness in the K-Pop Industry. We may not have been able to save them all, but if at least one or few had the ability to get the professional help they deserved, then we may still have many of our loved ones with us. Mothers, Fathers, Sisters, Brothers, would not have to mourn and Fans would not have to grieve.

Psychology and Psychiatry Professor, Lim Myung-Ho said, “For a long time, celebrities have mostly avoided meeting a psychiatrist or a psychological counselor as they were afraid that their health condition would somehow tarnish their image,”

We have lost brilliant and beautiful Lights, due to the fear that society has put on these human beings, as well as the lack of understanding for Mental Health or the resources to give Idols the help they deserve as human beings.

Thankfully, since the last decade, there’s been a rise in Mental Health Awareness in the K-Pop Industry and Korea as a whole. Many Idols or Musicians in the Industry, like Solo Star, AleXa and Lim Jaebeom, the Leader of Got7, have opened up about his Struggle with Depression and Mental Health. Groups like BTS, Stray Kids and Ateez are known for making music that addresses mental health struggles and societal pressures.

Personally, I think it’s time that K-Pop Companies implement Mental Health days for K-Pop Idols, as well as have some professionals within the company have weekly to monthly mandatory mental health sessions with whoever needs or wants counseling and help. Just like if an Idol was Physically sick and had to go on hiatus, then an Idol should be able to take Mental Health Days for their emotional and mental, as well as overall physical well being.

Professor Lim also thinks that there are easier ways, as in Online Counseling, especially considering how fast paced most Idol’s lives can be, it would make sense to have Online Counselors if Idols simply need to distress or vent on the go.

Cho Jung-Hwa, a Life Coach at Starship Entertainment, home of Monsta X, said in a telephone interview, “K-pop singers have managers, hair designers and makeup artists, but they often do not have any experts to resort to when they feel emotionally taxed,” she said. “If they can get some direct help from a mental health trainer or professional, they would feel much better.”

She made some good points and I would like to stress that for the Idols or Trainees, it should be a safe and open discussion so that they can feel less isolated and have less to carry on their shoulders.

There has been progress, for example, KQ Entertainment allowed Song Mingi, Main Rapper and Co-Writer for Ateez, time off for his Mental Health due to Psychological Anxiety, from late 2020 to 2021 (a total of 8 months). While KQ is still a Family like and small Entertainment Company (that is still flawed), I would like to see this more, from Companies like JYP, Starship, Cube Entertainment and even Hybe.

“Celebrities are generally more impressionable than non-celebrities,” Lim Myung- Ho said. “They often take the brunt of the emotional labor too, because they frequently conceal their genuine emotions in front of the public. In the short run, having a regular mental health check-up may seem unnecessary, but in the long run, it will help the K-pop companies’ financial success by ensuring the mental stability of their stars.”

I would like to mention that SHINEE’s Jonghyun has a foundation in his Memory, created by his mother, that aims to help Idols and Trainees with their Mental Health. I highly suggest checking it out here and seeing how you can support them or even visit if you are going to Korea or in Korea. I have to admit, that is one strong and amazing woman, to take her loss and try and make some changes in the Industry for other Idols and trainees. I wish her the best and all my love to the Shawols reading this.

You can probably tell by now, there’s still a long way to go, but I am glad to see some progress at least. I sincerely hope that those gone too soon are finally resting easy, seeing the growth and recognition that K-Pop has achieved and knowing that their art, their music will live on in the hearts of K-Pop fans worldwide. I just wish that it didn’t have to take, the passing of many amazing beings or the abuse of Idols, as well as countless backlash from fans, for it to finally start to have changes within the Industry.

Chapter Three: What can we do as Fans?

Kpop fans hold a lot of power; We can literally make or break an Idol’s or Groups career. I would honestly prefer to use that power for advocacy.

You have the power to raise awareness for these topics in the K-Pop Industry. Your favorite Idol is overworking and the rest of the group is tired but they continue to put out that reality show. Start a hashtag, bring up the topic to other fans or members of the community. Discuss it in groups and forums.

Remember Toxic Productivity does more harm than good so remind Idols that they are human too and not just a form of entertainment to us. Raise Awareness in respectful ways like starting a Twitter account and sharing your ideas or events with like minded individuals. Check out the Shiny Foundation, in honor of the late Jonghyun from SHINEE. Do your research and advocate for Mental Health Days or Mental Health care as a whole for Korea and Kpop Idols.

Raise Awareness in respectful ways like starting a Twitter account and sharing your ideas or events with like minded individuals. Do your research and advocate for Mental Health Days or Mental Health care as a whole for Korea and K-pop Idols. Support Idol from Companies like KQ or Starship Entertainment, that allow their Idols the time & resources needed to mend their mental state.

Highlight Speakers on the topic of Mental Health in Kpop, like BTS, Jay B and recently Beomhan the Ex-F M Trainee that Spoke up on his own Mental Health Struggles.

Show support to content creators that touch on topics like this. Follow and share their content to bring more eyes on the issues. Share this blog with your friends and fellow fans to help bring more eyes and start discussions. Try making your own content, be it blogs on Tumblr, Tweets on Twitter (yes I am still gonna call it twitter) and Videos on Tik Tok or Youtube to bring more awareness on these less spoken about necessities in the industry.

If you get a chance to meet your Idols at fan meets or on a fan call, quickly speak to them about your own experiences with mental health, how they helped inspire you. Let your fave Idols know that they are not alone. That they and their feelings do matter.

So, what do you think? Should K-pop Idols and Trainees be allowed Mental Health Days and have access to mental health care? Did anything else I mentioned stand out to you, tell me what in the comments.

That was probably a lot, but this will be separated into more parts because I would like to talk about homophobia, racism, abuse and other issues in the K-Pop Industry soon!

If you like how this sounds so far, please feel free to check out my blog on Medium or Tumblr and follow for more. If you’d like to get more information on Mental Health you can read my post here.

That’s all for now, I will see when I see you. Remember, you can always, Reign Here.

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Notes

All of the graphics in this blog were created by myself in Canva Pro, or taken from our Pinterest.

The links for any more sources and videos are here in this google document.

This Blog post does include affiliates as I’m not in a country that allows Stripe Pay, so Medium (where this is crossposted) can’t support me. You can save money on stationery supplies and K-Pop Merch using the link here!

All funds go towards bettering content quality and speeding up production (getting better devices, paying for medium, canva pro and more). It means a lot if you can support, even if it’s just by liking, sharing and commenting.

Feel free to correct or critique (respectfully) and I’ll edit any errors with links, information and grammar.

[neilanuruodo]

Chuck Tingle said some very important stuff today. About being asked to take his mask off, which he wears not only for reasons of chronic pain but for his safety as an LGBTQ activist. It's a really good read and I encourage anyone with the time to sit down and read it.

It got me thinking about my current fixation because there's a very interesting parallel to be made, I hope, between the real and upsetting situation Chuck experienced and the way a certain segment of the Baldur's Gate 3 fandom treats t he Emperor...and its desire to wear a mask.

I hope it doesn't come across that I'm saying "oh these situations are the same!!" They really are not. One is a real person facing what sure looks an awful lot like discrimination and the other is a fictional character. But I value fiction highly for its role as a safe playground where we can interact with hurtful things without real people being hurt.

In a quick and dirty summary that does no true justice to Chuck's eloquence, he was invited to the Texas Library Association annual conference, then told he would need to remove his mask (which he wears not only to protect his identity but because, as an autistic person, masking causes him serious stress and chronic pain), and when his agent rightfully told them he would not remove his disability aid, he was disinvited. It's not only ableist but very rude to offer him a place, have him keep his schedule clear, and then change their minds. A small amount of research would have shown them he does not remove it in public appearances.

What the hell does that have to do with the Emperor? We first meet the Emperor in a guise it crafts to interface and work with the player character. A persona; a mask. Wearing this mask makes it comfortable, it makes it feel safe. It has every reason to fear violence directed at its person if the player becomes aware of who and what it is.

And, during the time while it wears this guise, it does not lead the player on, or make advances. (If your instinct is to say "oh but the robe it wears--don't. That's one step away from blaming sexual assault victims for wearing revealing clothing. Wearing showy clothing is NOT an invitation.) The option to give it a hug comes only after a perception check--it's trying to hide how weary and exhausted it is. It must be initiated by the player.

When its disguise is ripped away from it by circumstance, it is afraid. It is stressed out, uncertain what the player will do. It is forced to make all these explanations and justifications--exactly what it was trying to avoid in the first place. I firmly believe that, if the player had not had to enter the Astral Prism to save it (and themself) it would have kept its disguise up through the whole adventure, kept an emotional distance from the player character, and parted without ever removing its disguise. It sees you as comrades of chance, not bosom companions. Coworkers, essentially.

I had an illuminating conversation on Twitter about this, in fact. People have grown accustomed to invading other people's privacy, to seeing personal details of their life. They feel entitled to it. I think a decade or two of people sharing every minutia and photograph has led people to assume that those who don't share everything have something to hide.

But some people are just private. Some people find being in public situations intensely stressful. (I sure do! The mere thought of becoming famous stresses me out.) Yet these people will throw a fit if you don't share things that are none of their business. Will kick you out of events, or shut you out of jobs. These people would be upset at an LGBTQIA+ coworker not revealing "what they are" to them...even though it's none of their business. It's private. Yet they feel entitled to this information, and deceived if it's withheld.

I truly think that's what it comes down to. People want to know every detail of other people's lives because it's become normalized, yes, but also because they feel entitled to know if they're working with "one of those people." In a way, it's almost a good thing. More and more people feel safe enough to share their sexuality or gender identity. More and more people feel safe enough to explore whereas before they might never have let themselves question who they were. But it does have its downsides, and one of those is in the form of entitlement of others to know personal details of our lives.

I've seen a lot of weirdly vitriolic hate toward the Emperor. Like, the kind of murderous hate seen when the worst type of person is ""catfished."" And I'm sure that's a part of it; people making what they think will be the perfect character (dare I say it...woman?) to seduce, and then finding out it's an illithid. But the Emperor doesn't create this mask to seduce, only to survive. To get through this terrible situation without the party turning on or abandoning it. It's worth stepping back when you have this reaction to a character and considering why. Analyzing what assumptions you made, and what might have moved you to make them. This is the purpose of fiction. To get to know ourselves, and to see through the eyes of others.

And to write lots and lots of smut, of course. I think Chuck Tingle would agree with me there.

Read critically, friends. Fiction is supposed to make us feel, and sometimes it will make us feel uncomfortable. It's not a "bad thing" to be immediately rejected. Sometimes that's growth knocking on the door. Let it in. Ask yourself some uncomfortable questions. I promise, it's worth it at the end of the journey.

[thesecrethunt]

Cut another ex-friend off last weekend. Very glad I did. He was an emotional vampire. If he’s not ranting about constant drama in his life, or talking mad shit about someone, or victimizing himself, he would go out of his way to find threads that make him mad on Twitter and link it in the group chat so he could rant about it.

Last weekend he did it again: Something about Billie Eilish saying something about body shaming. I don’t remember what was said, I only remember it being really stupid.

He went on this entire rant about how she was a stupid bitch and a spoiled brat and other lowkey misogynistic stuff.

I told him he was being unreasonably angry and that he should stop interacting with Twitter outrage porn.

He started cussing me out and giving me all of this shit about how I was “invalidating him and gaslighting” him and “clearly been holding this in for a while”. 🙄 I was so done and exhausted by him at that point. While he was sending me 5 paragraph long rants full of cussing and self pity to my two sentence responses, I didn’t even read all of it. It was just nothing but spite and nastiness and uncalled for insults. I just sat back and was thinking to myself like “Do I even like being around this asshole anymore? When was the last time he added to my peace instead of take away from it? I have been nothing but kind to him, but he seems perfectly comfortable throwing all this shit at my feet.”

I just let him cry and shit himself in the chat until he was done. Then, I just told him “You know what? You’re right. I completely invalidated your feelings, and I’m sorry. But the last time someone tried to mischaracterize me as some manipulative, hateful harpy, it ended up pretty terribly for me. So, it’s been nice, but I need to protect my peace.”

Then I cut him off and blocked him.

It was clear by the way he was so comfortable spitting all that vitriol my way that he didn’t think I would cut him off like nothing. People are always shocked when I leave them where they disrespected me the first time. You show me single a red flag and I will show you the door.

He was one of those “everybody always leaves me” people too. Draining to be around.

I have felt nothing but relief after leaving him behind.

The funny thing was, this happened literally a couple days after I began a weekend-long spell ritual for spiritual growth and healing.

Guess he wasn’t conductive to my growth 🤷🏽‍♀️

I got a video on my fyp the next day that said

“When you choose peace, it comes with a lot of goodbyes.”

He was one of the last from that friend group I left because of [redacted]. And I lowkey knew I would eventually have to let him go. He was seeing therapy so I was hoping he would start being better about it, but the second he turned that nastiness and anger toward me, I was done lmao. Because staying after that just teaches them that they can disrespect and say anything they want to you, and fear no consequence.

I genuinely hope all the vitriol he spewed over a Twitter thread was worth my friendship. Because that was what it cost him. And given he’s been losing friends left and right over shit like this, I hope he will learn from it.

But it’s more likely he won’t. He will just play victim like he always does.

[pancakem3atz]

Things I wish I knew before streaming

You will get taken advantage of - I went in blind after seeing someone else stream for the first time. I had no clue, no support, didn't know how to work twitter properly. -I was used for money, support, and to get to my community and then was dragged in lots of discords lol fun times

Find the right people FIRST - I wish I found the right support BEFORE I started. 98% of the ones that got me to affiliate on twitch got me there in 11 days and aren't with me now. Most of them left right after I hit it. - Once I got it so fast SO MANY PEOPLE WERE MAD AF and said I didn't deserve it and left

GROW THAT THICK SKIN!! -People are going to talk shit. They're going to be jealous. They are going to use you. DO NOT FALL FOR THAT SHIT!! -Can't cry every day over the bullshit, but in the beginning, it was really hard bc I was NOT prepped for what it meant to be a female streamer.

You won't have it all, at first -You won't have a complete set up from the jump. It's never REALLY complete -Don't fall victim to the hypes - meaning don't drop the money you don't have into this shit. It's not worth it to cripple yourself over this. Get what you can and allow yourself the room to grow knowing you're not any less of a streamer bc you don't have pretty lighting

Know your limits/take your breaks -Streaming is exhausting. So is social media. TAKE THOSE FUCKING BREAKS -I learned quickly what streamer burn out is like and wouldn't wish it on anyone. -The right community will still be there when you come back from how ever long your streaming/social media break is. The ones who leave shouldn't have been there anyways. Taking an extended break will prove who belongs. -If you hit the button and quickly realize you shouldn't have, that's ok. You can stop when you need to. Don't even have to address chat. Sometimes we don't realize we didn't really have it in us to stream until we try and go "oh shit, I don't think this was a good idea." You're not the only one it happens to

Find your support system -you have to have people to talk to that understand the game. Things are going to happen and you are going to need someone or some people to help you through the streamer drama moments. No one understands better than another streamer who has had something similar happen. DON'T VENT TO JUST ANYONE!! If they feel like a snake, they are.

CHOOSE THOSE MODS CAREFULLY!!! -Again, not everyone has your best interest at heart. People are going to find any way to sabotage. -Your mods have some serious access to your streams. Make sure you trust these people. They can change your stream info/block and ban people/and can tarnish your good name. -I have had mods who came in just to block and ban people they didn't like then block me. IF THEY FEEL LIKE THEY ARE A SNAKE, THEY ARE!!!!

Don't ever be scared to ask for help, on any level, from anyone you trust. Including me. -You're going to need help in every aspect. Tech support, mental health issues, everything. -Streaming has brought me some the most amazing people, but also some of the biggest pieces of shit. Don't let the bad ones keep the good ones away -Please don't be scared. I will always try to help. If I don't have the answer, I will find someone who does.

Don't follow all the fads -I mean, come on, common sense lol not everything "cool" is for everyone and just bc everyone else is doing it hahahaha doesn't mean it's for you

HAVE FUN, MOTHERFUCKER!! -WE ARE ENTERTAINERS!!! have a good time with it and make sure you are enjoying what you are streaming. -Don't give into the gaming pressures of this. Play what you want; stream the things you want (that are within TOS;) just do the things that make YOU happy. Your stream will be much more successful and less stressful.

BONUS!! If you have a significant other, better make sure they know what comes with streaming, esp if they don't stream or game like you do. If they are also a streamer lol trust is a huge thing and don't let the internet come between yall. If it does, prob wasn't meant to work out haha

[budgieflitter]

been wanting to put this out for a while mainly for myself but also if anyone is interested.. well i assume some ppl are since my drawings get attention for some reason??

just my many thoughts and hcs on tnmrc. lengthy!!!

YEAH so there’s really no witty backstory to that... i was just playing strangetown somewhat seriously for the first time and added the uni hood as a general procedure. you know the drill. but somehow got very attached to it in the process and to davis twins specifically. cause i just love twins and boring people most of the things i have in mind are based on in-game interests and just general vibes cause the bios don’t offer much food for thought

and as for tank... i was just going for college being a crucial point in his life. that kind of place that is removed enough from his usual environment and his dad’s influence so he can actually have some autonomy for once. also that’s when his gay awakening happens :)

but actually all this started bc i made a joke about them both bullying their younger brothers. that is it. all the stuff below is just stuff i copied from my notes app

- i know almeric is supposed to be older since he's already in uni but i do like to think they're both freshmen

- they are both poli sci majors. almeric starts with undeclared major so i think he's more laid-back about it, but he has a high interest in politics and he also rolls the want to declare poli sci every time in my game lol

tank is also interested in politics, but in addition that is a major connected to military career and ofc he must meet the expectations of his father. later on he'd want to change his major to drama though. i think he’d start having doubts about what he even wants to do w his life, then skipping classes quite often, practise some dancing in private and overall avoiding people so alm is like the hell is going on, cause you know, he's quite stubborn so they'd have to have the Talk most definitely. where our local military boy finds out bottling up his emotions is not healthy, his dad sucks and also he is gay af actually

- also yeah sexuality hcs i guess.. well i did say about tank a thousand of times already...  almeric is bi but well it is easier to date girls, never had trouble with it in high school. also coming out wasn’t a big deal for him he dated jessie pilferson but it didn't quite work out (not cause jessie is a romance sim but bc almeric is a fake sports fan obviously!)

- almeric likes to argue and is really good at it, also part of the reason he's a poli sci major. like the class debates with him around? fuckin impossible, even if you have good arguments he's down to play the devil’s advocate, use somewhat scummy tactics and do L + not relevant + ratio. i mean this dude uses the "im 2 minutes older" argument and still wins? bro you would’ve loved twitter the only person who could’ve possibly shut him up is klara, but she tries to ignore him. the patience. also for that reason i think tank wouldn't really like him at the start actually lmao but like do you know how homoerotic debates can be? i know i played ace attorney

- alm is kind of this gifted marty stu guy to me, in a way that he doesn't have to put effort in anything to get good results. he doesn't give a shit about sports honestly but he's just good at it, same with the studies, otherwise he just likes to chill and have fun (he certainly has to teach tank how to do it as well) aldric is like really mad about it, since wasn’t as easy for him (did i just reinvent the pleasant twins? i guess i did)

- almeric has a quite high interest in health so along with his laid back nature he's certainly not the type to pull all nighters or exhausting workouts. tank however certainly is that type of guy so almeric is like dont strain yourself dumbass i also think he is not the type to solve conflicts with fists, once again he prefers to talk it through, so he kinda tries to calm tank down and keep him out of trouble (it magically works)

- i think tank is rather insecure about making friends so he often thinks he is replaceable to almeric bc he's that cool popular guy and everyone is freinds w him (im not projecting im not)

- okay this last one is silly probably but i like to think that tank's favorite color is green and almeric's is blue and like.. tank's eyes are dark blue and almeric's are green... heh... i love me some cheesy romantic stuff ok

congrats if you made it till the end!!! for whatever reason. you’re a true budgieflitter fan

[thychesters]

do you also hate dickkory stans? not because of Kory dating Dick but because they're always trying to prop-up Kory saying she's a better character than Babs and saying some disgusting stuff about Barbara, tiktok and twitter Dickkory stans are the worst part of it

I’m going to honest, I personally don’t much care for any of the shipping drama and A vs B and try to scroll past it as much as I can. People are entitled to their opinions and preferences and I’m not going to waste either of our time arguing with them over “but you should like x more.” Sometimes people are just going to like different things.

That being said, I don’t hate any stans, and if anything find some takes more frustrating, if not annoying, than others. But that’s also part of the human/fandom experience. At least once a month on twitter there’s someone asking “which is better: DickBabs or DickKory” and at this point it’s just tiresome. I’ve seen some DickKory fans say nasty things about Barbara, but I’ve also seen some DickBabs fans say nasty things about Kory, so neither party is innocent here. What frustrates me most is pitting two female characters against one another for the sake of a male character and essentially “who deserves him more” and what they both bring to the table like. Kory and Babs are completely different characters and not going to bring the same thing to any relationship, and neither is Dick. There are ableist comments about Barbara and gross ones about Kory, belittling both of their characters for the sake of a ship.

At the end of the day, they’re both completely different ships and have their own merits and importances in the characters’ stories. Arguing over which is better is just… exhausting. I mean yes I have a personal preference for DickBabs (Oracle’s my favorite character and I loved seeing her in that relationship) but that doesn’t mean I think DickKory is bad or people shouldn’t like it. It’s no skin off my nose if someone does!

IMO if the only way to “win” an argument is to belittle or demonize a character/ship to make another look better, then there wasn’t really much of an argument to begin with.

[thequeenb]

Come Back

This is part 3 of the series because its highly requested. Part 1 and 2 are here for you to read.

I watched Poppy get out of the limo gracefully as she has always been. She was perfect in every way, people here aren't used to this type of women. From head to toe she was beautiful, from the way her hair fell to her shoulders to the way she was standing, eyes looking at me intently.

Everyone was stunned but i am not surprised. Charlie gasps as she takes my hand in hers tagging me away from the crowd. My eyes are lost in hers, just like every movie everything stops. My heart is pounding but I can't quite know how i feel. As Charlie pushes me away from her i can see the disappointment all over her perfect features

Why she follow me? Why is she here? How did she know i was here? And most importantly what do i do now? Before my mind start overthink Charlie looks at me worried

"I am sorry this is all my fault i thought it was a celebrity i didn't knew it was your ex"

Right my ex. Is this the right word? I cant quite tell to be honest. We have been through so much that we didn't had time to label our relationship nor we had to. I felt anger when the painful pictures came back in my mind. If our relationship meant even a little bit to her why would she let us fall apart?

I frown and Charlie hugs me tight without another word. She always knew what to do and how to read my eyes. Her hand draws small circles on my back and i take a deep breath

"This wasn't your fault. I am surprised she even knows where Farmsvile is" my bitter chuckle fills the air "i always wanted to take her here, show her the real world without any masks covering our every decision"

Charlie listens to me like always. I miss Zoe though, she is as supportive as her but she always knew the New York world better than Charlie

"Why do you think she is trying to find you?"

I bite my lip in thought wanting the answer to this question but for now its unknown

"Well i blocked her number..her instagram, her Twitter account, her Facebook account her-"

"Woah there" Charlie says laughing "you are such a drama queen no wonder the big city treats you well"

"I wish it did, so many things changed so fast. The way i dress, the way i think, the way i make decisions, everything" i hide my face in my hands unable to get a hold of my emotions

"Well you better make a fast decision because miss Barbie is coming our way right now" i quickly fix my hair and wipe my tears not wanting Poppy to see how hurt i am

She approaches carefully and so sure of herself but knowing her i sense the hesitation in her expression.

"Could we have some privacy?" Poppy asks and Charlie gives me the "should i kill this bitch" look. I nod reassuring her its fine

"If you hurt her more i will throw you to the pigs" Charlie says giving Poppy a sharp look before walking away

Poppy mutters something under her breath, probably something like 'gross' or 'ew'. She is hesitant to sit next to me but I don't mind it. Taking a deep breath i try to not cry

"Look Bea, i won't waste your time because you already hate me but everything you saw has a story behind them" her expression changes, i am sure she replay the events and honestly so do i. The difference between us is that she feels sadness and i am blinded by rage

"Oh i am sure it does. I will make a guess and say that you used me all this time and i was just a puppet in your stupid game" i stand up unable to be close to her

"Oh please what would i gain from you? Being with a farmer girl isn't exactly appealing to any advantage" she stands up too, her eyes a wild fire ready to spread

A farmer girl..not appealing. Bravo Poppy, break my heart a little bit more

"Wow really? Last time i checked a farmer girl made you feel loved, a farmer girl took you to nice places and a farmer girl held you while you complained about your family!!" I raise my voice even though i have all the right reasons, still i can see how surprised she is by it

"I could have anyone i want if i snap my fingers but i tried to protect you i never wanted Carter-"

"Oh really?? The what the fuck is this pic Poppy?" I shove my phone in her face and i can see clearly her anger building in

"You don't understand, i am stupid i even came to this disgusting place to find you" she grabs her bag fixing her hair trying to make a dramatic exit

"Oh seriously? Well i am sorry this doesn't meet your standards i am sure you enjoy the city where nobody gives a shit about you or use you for your name" i grab my bag too and this time i walk away without looking back

Suddenly i stop my tracks but i don't turn around to face her "And to think i wanted to show you where i grew up" thats all i say before my tears fell from my eyes. I change my pace going faster in hope she would chase me but she doesn't.

The fresh air hits my face and i feel safe knowing nobody will judge me here. Walking a little further i finally arrive home where a familiar smell greets me. My mother is making my favourite food, father is feeding the chickens and Charlie waits for me on the porch

I put a fake smile on my face as i approach "well that went better than i thought" sarcasm was always my way to cope with my emotions

"You will share the details later right now we should eat the stew while its hot come on!" Charlie leads me inside the house and it feels good to be surrounded by welcoming faces

The day passes fast and i jump in my bed. I am so exhausted, who knew dealing with my emotions would be so tiring. Before i close my eyes i check my phone in hope Zoe texted me but i know she is busy. I close my eyes hoping the pain will stop and the new day will start better.

The sun hits my face and i groan in annoyance when i hear a knock at my door.

"Sweetheart should i come in?" My mother comes inside my room and i sit up trying to understand why she woke me up at..8:00 in the morning?? Ugh a girl cant get her beauty sleep

She sits beside me cupping my face in her hands. I missed her touch, she always made me feel better about myself and my problems no matter how sad i was feeling

"You have visitors outside waiting for you but i was adviced to not let you look through the window" my mother chuckles "now get ready they waited long enough"

I smile putting all my energy into getting out of my warm bed "fine fine only because i know Charlie will want to do something crazy"

I get dressed and run downstairs. I open the door only to be greeted by Charlie and.. Poppy??

"Goodmorning Princess i am sorry to wake you up so early but we have cows to milk" Charlie winks at me but my attention falls to Poppy who's wearing a simple T shirt and..boots? What is happening?

"Don't look at this city snob like that it took me 1 hour to convince her to wear these"

Poppy rolls her eyes but i laugh, its a once in a lifetime opportunity to see her this way, ah how i would love to take a picture and post it everywhere

"Show me your world" Poppy says giving me a small smile and for the first time i can see all the effort she put for me. I mean the outfit says it all, and the one and only Min SinClair will do farm work? Now thats some change

"I chuckle walking towards the farm "Well then show me how sorry you are" i say throwing a bucket at Poppy who looks at it in disgust

"I swear Hudges if you-" but Charlie push her in time and honestly this is the best sight ever. Poppy pouts but bites her tongue

"Lets go city girl show me what you got" Charlie and i laugh and surprisingly Poppy joins as she hides her face on my shoulder

"I missed you" she whispers only for me to hear and i smile letting my bad thoughts on the side for once seeing where this will take me. I hold her closer as we walk into the sunrise ready to share a piece of myself with her.

Tag list: @mvalentine @otakufangirl-12 @princessstellaris @indecisive-choices @i-loveeveryone @kiara-36 @ognenniyvolk @somewillwin @it-lives-in-braidwood-manor @ghalind @sergeant-pepper-loves-choices @dibberdipper @aiswood @alexlabhont @dopeyouth @tyrils-star @alexroyard @uselesslesbianfr  @wolfietheduckyou @somin-yin

[rachaelswrites]

Nicknames

A/N: I didn’t include all actors/characters but if you want one just send it in and I’ll do it. I’ll start including these in my writing

~~~~~~

Here are some nicknames that each of the reader’s have been given

Sebastian Stan “prinţesă”

-Obviously, its Romanian

-There were a few he tried out with you when you were younger but this one stuck for multiple reasons:

-You were a major daddy’s girl (still are) and you pretty much got anything you wanted. You were almost on the verge of spoiled brat

-It also didn’t help that you had a very huge liking for Disney and it’s princesses

-Those dresses with the matching shoes? You had almost all of them

-He called you that until you grew out of your princess obsession, saving it for certain times

-The first time you ended a long term friendship was the first time he used it in years. He’d either call you by your name or something more generic like “Sweetheart”

-You came home visibly upset and ran right into your dad’s arms

-You’d never been this upset before so he said it, hoping in some way it would calm you down

“It’s alright Prinţesă, I’ve got you”

-When it worked that time, he did it again after your first break up.

-You were more angry than sad this time

-He had to hold you down on the couch so you couldn’t hurt anyone

“Prinţesă, calm down. He’s not worth a criminal record

-He used it on days when you were sick or were feeling down

-Maybe even if you were in trouble

-You and him both thought by the age of sixteen, you would hate the nickname but surprisingly, you liked it even more

Chris Evans “peanut”

-Another case of daddy’s girl

-This one comes from several trips to Red Sox’s games

-Chris wanted to get you into sports when you were young (just to watch, not necessarily to play)

-He took you and Scott to one of the first games of the season and he bought peanuts, in his true American way

-You were seated in between him and Scott

-Both of them were sharing the bag while you had ice cream

-Peanuts were a new food for you and you wanted to try them. You grabbed a handful of them and copied your dad’s movements to crack open the shells

-You ate like twenty in less than a minute

-You loved them so much and that’s how that name happened

-Unlike the others, Chris uses this name pretty regularly 

-You didn’t mind how often he used it until he started using it on front of your friends

“Hey peanut, do you guys need anything?”

“Dad! That’s embarrassing”

-Your face went bright red and for the rest of the day, your friends teased you (in a loving, joking way)

-Chris realized his small mistake and was a little more careful about when he used it

-Scott called you it once and you swear, you never saw your dad move so quickly

“She’s my peanut, not yours. Find your own nickname”

-Anytime he posts a picture of you on Twitter/Instagram, he used that name instead of your own

Matthew Gray Gubler “munchkin”

-Three words

-Wizard. Of. Oz.

-You had a very weird obsession with this movie. It’s almost embarrassing looking back at it now

-By the time you were three, you knew all the words (as best as you could) to all the songs

-Matthew was about to lose his mind because he had the songs in his head as well, twenty-four-seven.

-You would talk and talk about how much you wanted to go to Munchkin land and be a Munchkin

-It also didn’t help that at the time, you were probably close to the same height

-Sadly, as you got older, you and your dad learned you didn’t develop his height

-You were a whopping 5’2 at the age of fifteen

-And the name stuck

-He knew you weren’t super fond of the name but somehow, it always cheered you up

-If you had a tough day at school, he’d sit on the couch and let you vent

“Let it all out Munchkin”

-You secretly did like the name (even though the origins were embarrassing)

-Matthew never let you live down that obsession 

-When you were on set and he called you that, everyone asked why.

“Matthew, why do you call her Munchkin?”

“Dad, don’t do it”

“She was obsessed with The Wizard of Oz”

-He also very rarely referred to you as “Y/n” on social media, opting for Munchkin instead

-Trying to get back at him, you tried to come up with some ridiculous name for him

“I’m going to call you dancer. Cause that’s how you broke your knee”

-That one didn’t last long but Munchkin sure did

Tom Holland “bubs or darling”

-Tom gets two because I can’t pick

-Bubs is because you are the baby out of all of the brothers

-It was also because before you could say any brother’s name, you just called them bubs

-Sam, Harry, and Paddy also called you Bubs. They still call you that sometimes so Tom wanted to try something new

-When you were about five or six, he accidentally called you darling

-It wasn’t a typical brother/sister name but it suited you

-You were such a kind person and your favorite movie to watch with Tom was Peter Pan

-And the last name of Wendy was Darling, so he thought it fitted

-When he called you darling, it was mostly after he came home from filming

“I missed you so much Darling”

-You liked the meaning behind your nickname

-Tom used Bubs if you weren’t feeling like yourself

-Whether it was a bad day or if you were sick

“Take some medicine Bubs” or “Bubs, tell me what’s going on”

-He hated the others calling him Tommy but for you, he’d let you do it anytime you wanted

-Literally, you were the only person he let you call him Tommy

-But he was the only person who could call you Darling

Bucky Barnes “doll”

-Classic

-This one is pretty self explanatory

-It was common during your childhood but once you were in the 21st century, Bucky couldn’t part with it

-It reminded him of the past (in a good way) and he always wanted to relive those memories 

-You were eight when HYDRA took him and then you

-The name reminded him of when you were little, and it reminded you too

-While Bucky was in Wakanda, he’d send you letters once he woke up

“Hey Doll, I miss you so much. Hopefully we can see each other soon”

-You kept them all with you

-And when The Snap happened, you’d read those letters back to yourself everyday

“The sunset was really pretty today Doll, it reminded me of the ones from when you were little”

-After those five years, that was the first thing he said to you

“I’m glad you’re safe Doll”

-It only took one time for Sam to tease you about it before you threatened to hurt him

“You make fun of it one more time and I swear it’ll be the last”

-Sam didn’t really understand why that name meant so much to you

-Bucky had to explain it to him

-It was really one of the only things you had left of your childhood

-And it was the one thing you could hold onto for the rest of your life

Ransom Drysdale “princess”

-Again, I think this one is self explanatory and obvious

-You’re spoiled, no doubt about it

-The name actually came from Meg

-She was a few years older than you and she was so used to being the only girl in the family

-And now she had to deal with you

-The reason she called you that was pretty stupid in the first place but as an eight year old, it didn’t matter to her

-You had spilled your drink on her by accident and onto her new shoes

-She went red in the face and started screaming in your face. You burst into tears

-You were only four and Ransom had never raised his voice at you. It was a new experience for you

-All the adults came into the room and walked into the scene of Meg screaming and you crying

-Ransom scooped you up and told Meg off

-Of course Joni took her daughter’s side but no one else did, making her mad

“She never gets in trouble. She’s such a princess”

-After that incident, your dad only used that name just to piss everyone off

-Like there was no need for him to but he just did it

“Princess, come here”

-In general, Ransom liked to show you off and the nickname Princess was the best way to do that

-As you got older, he felt weird using it. Meg had finally gotten over herself and everyone accepted the fact that your dad was spoiling you rotten

-You didn’t need a name to show that

-But as you got older, the issues in the family and all the problems started to weigh down on you

-There was so much drama that happened at family dinners, you were completely drained and exhausted once you got home

-Ransom could tell something was up so he reached into his bag of good parenting skills (which he definitely had, which shocked everyone) and called you Princess for the first time in ten years

“Princess, please tell me what’s wrong”

-For some reason, that one name made everything better for you

-Ransom noticed the small improvement in your mood so he kept calling you that on the daily

“How was school today Princess?” 

-And in front of the family again

“Princess, it’s time to go”

-This name was literally just used to show the other Thrombey’s that you and your dad were better than them

-Of course though, you didn’t need a nickname to see that

Spencer Reid “squirt”

-Another name based on an obsession

-But this one can be blamed on Garcia

-While Spencer was on a case one time, she was in charge of watching you

-To keep you entertained while at the BAU, she put on Finding Nemo

-That was a mistake

-From that point on, you had a weird fascination with sea turtles, because of Squirt

-Once Spencer got back, you would not shut up about turtles

“Daddy, look what I just read”

-He was glad you found something you were interested in. He sort of hoped you would find something closer to a more “normal” topic but he would never stop you from learning

-Spencer wasn’t sure how the name fell onto you but once it did, he didn’t stop using it

-He generally used it in the apartment with just you and him

“Squirt, can you pick your toys up for me?” or as you were older “Squirt, can you grab those books for me?”

-He used it a lot when you felt stressed and you weren’t telling him

-So whenever he called you that, you knew you might as well tell him

“Tell me what’s going on Squirt”

-It was such a small gesture but it really did help you

-He tried to explain why it probably made you feel better but you weren’t too interested in the science behind it

-The only time he used it in front of the team is when he got back from a case

-You always met him at the BAU (he made sure you were there to greet him)

-You would stand in front of the elevator and wait for the doors to open

-And when they did, you ran into his arms and he wrapped them around your body

“I missed you Squirt”

-The team absolutely adored that nickname but knew to never call you that, unless they wanted an angry Reid on their hands

Emily Prentiss “love”

-To me, Emily just has European vibes and so does this nickname

-Probably because Emily grew up in Europe, she developed this habit of calling you Love

-The parents of her friends growing up used that name

-She sort of just picked up on it, starting when she first held you in the hospital

“Hi Love, I’m your momma”

-It’s such a simple but meaningful name to her

-You were truly the one person she loved the most (even her mom and even Sergio)

-Speaking of, once she brought Sergio home you started calling him that as well

-You were only four and didn’t understand the concept but Emily didn’t stop you

“Hi Wove”

-Emily never used this in front of people unless something was wrong

-As you got older, it was used more as a reassurance for you

-Her “death” was really hard on you and every case, she would check in 

-Lots of the time, the phone calls were short and around the other members of the team

“Hi Love, I miss you. The team says hi”

“I miss you too momma”

-Very rarely would she use it in normal, everyday conversation

-If you were visiting the office, sometimes it would slip out

“Hey Love, are you doing your homework?”

-In front of the team, she used names like “baby” or “honey”

-Love was strictly reserved for just you and her

Jennifer Jareau “bug”

-First thing to know

-If anyone besides JJ called you Bug, even Will, she would literally rip their heads off

-This name was super personal to her and she didn’t want the meaning to be ruined

-You had taken after her love and fascination with butterflies

-Except you hadn’t learned the word butterfly so you just called them bugs, hence the nickname

-JJ only called you two things “Y/n” and “Bug”

-Nothing else

-At one point, Will was convinced that she might’ve forgotten your first name because she called you Bug so much

“JJ, she has a first name you know”

“I know, I think Bug fits her better”

-She did attempt to get your name changed, but to be fair, she was drunk when that happened

-She didn’t care that as you got older, the name was a little embarrassing, especially around your friends

“I’ll pick you up at seven Bug”

“Mom! Really? In front of my friends?”

-Your brothers for awhile thought your name was Bug, because she really only called you that at home

“Do you need help with your homework Bug?” or “Bug, can you set the table?”

-You didn’t realize the meaning behind the nickname until she explained it to you

-And once you did, the name meant so much more to you

-Will helped you pick out a matching necklace set of two butterflies

-You gave it to her after a case and she cried, knowing exactly what it’s meaning was

“Thank you Bug, I love it”

-She never took that necklace off, ever

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @dudele @kerrswriting @laura-naruto-fan1998 @multifamdomfan12 @aquariuslavenderhoney @rafehogwarts

[ohnoitsthebat]

your love (tastes a lot like betrayal)

Notes: Amellecki ficlet, with mentions of J2. This is just a a quick little thing that I wanted to write after the J2 Twitter drama. Hope you enjoy it.

Jared stared numbly at his phone, his eyes darting over the text, but not really processing it. Another text from Jensen. Another half-assed, bullshit apology. Jared wasn’t buying it, and if he was completely honest, was thinking about just blocking the guy. Jared had endured quite enough grief for the day; he didn’t need to be subjected to any more.

Jared, please. Give me a chance to explain.

“Jesus Christ, let it go already,” Jared murmured, fingers pressed to his temples as he squeezed his eyes shut. Maybe that was the solution. Maybe, just maybe, if he thought hard enough, he could make the shit-show of a day disappear. Maybe Jared could will the whole scenario out of existence.

If only.

With a heavy sigh, Jared forced himself off of his couch and ambled into the kitchen to fix himself a drink. He knew, on a deeper level, that drinking was the worst thing he could do right now. He knew that it was the least effective way to deal with his problems. But on a surface level? Jared really didn’t give a shit. If getting hammered helped him to put the day’s events behind him, then he would gladly do it. Screw the consequences.

Bzzz! Bzzz!

“Christ’s sake, Ackles.” Jared slammed the fridge shut, his drink forgotten, and picked up his phone. He contemplated telling Jensen to fuck all the way off, and his fingers hovered over the keypad to do so, until Jared realized that the text in question wasn’t from Jensen, but rather from someone else. A friend. A confidant. Someone that he could trust. Then again, Jared had thought he could trust Jensen, too, and look where it had gotten him. But this guy had done nothing to him. He’d been nothing but kind and supportive of Jared, and offered up his home to Jared many times.

I just saw your Tweets. You gonna be okay?

Stephen Amell. One of Jared’s best friends, and an absolute sweetheart of a guy. Stephen and Jared had clicked ever since they met, and it was no secret that Stephen adored Jared. He’d made that fact known, both privately and publicly. And although Jared’s feelings for Stephen weren’t quite the same, he still respected and loved the guy. Amell’s gushy sentiments and open crush on him was something that Jared had to admit that he liked. Also, Amell’s feelings for Jared had always made Jensen wildly jealous, so that was a bonus as well.

Yeah, Jared had enjoyed yanking Jensen’s chain. He’d be lying if he said that he didn’t like the way Jensen reacted, and he definitely loved reaping the benefits of Jensen’s jealousy. The sex was a million times hotter when Jensen was jealous, angry, or both (double whammy!).

Jared couldn’t help but smile as he typed out a reply.

Hanging in there.

Not exactly the truth, but not exactly a lie, either. Jared walked back into the living room, plopped down on the couch, and toed his shoes and socks off, then sank into the plush velvet of the couch. He could fall asleep like this, honestly. He felt drained, totally exhausted. Needless to say, he hadn’t slept much the night before, and Jared didn’t think he’d be sleeping much tonight, either.

The buzz of the phone snapped Jared out of his thoughts, and he wearily picked the phone up. He knew that Stephen meant well, and he was enjoying talking to his friend, but at the same time, Jared was all full up on interaction for the day. But he didn’t want to tell Amell that, and hurt his feelings. And truth be told, Jared didn’t want to be alone.

Do you need anything? I can swing by if you’d like.

Jared considered the question for a few seconds. Stephen was in the area, and Jared wouldn’t mind seeing him, just for a little while. They could shoot hoops, hit the treadmills, go for a run, watch movies, whatever. What he needed right now wasn’t texts from Jensen, or calls from his family asking him if everything was okay, or even other cast members checking in on him. What Jared needed right now, more than anything, was distraction. If Amell was more than willing to provide that, then Jared would eagerly take advantage of it.

The decision was final. Jared was going to invite Stephen to come over. After the day’s horrible events, he could use a friend. And if Jensen happened to find out about it, even better. Jared smirked and made a mental note to take a butt-load of pictures of himself and Stephen to post on both Twitter and the Gram later.

I’d like that. Door’s unlocked for you.

Roger that, was Stephen’s response.

Jared put his phone on do not disturb, set his phone down on the coffee table, and leaned back against the couch again. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax while he waited for Stephen.

The day had been a shit show, for certain, but maybe he would be able to forget about that for a little while. He could worry about dealing with Jensen in the morning.

Fin.