#once natasha joins in poor clint is sending an SOS to his wife

[sapphroditewrites]

Bishova Poll Marathon! (8/10)

more importantly, what are their go-to karaoke songs?

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[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 5

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Revenge is sweet but a well-timed dick joke is sweeter. xoxo gossip girl. Please supervise one Bucky Barnes on the internet. Questionable music taste. Detention is the price we pay for justice. Bruce Banner is too precious for this world, too pure.

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit​ @littlegasps​ @pilloclock​ @shereadsinquiet​ @downeyreads​ @hermione-grangers-wife​ @individualistfem​

Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! 🎶🎵I love you biiitch ain't ever gonna stop loving you biiitch 🎵🎶

"Initiate phase one," I added a growly undertone to my whisper, holding my phone inconspicuously, as if I was making a simple phone call. There was no answer but I didn't expect one: I was testing the voice recorder app that I had downloaded for the sole purpose of documenting and relaying the inevitable fall of one Flash Thompson. 

Making my way through the crowd of students during the busiest time of the day, I made the most intrigued and outraged facial expression I possibly could. Spying my targets, I leaned against a nearby wall, putting a hand over my mouth in fake outrage, keeping my eyes wide and trained on the opposite wall. Just as I had predicted, the two sophomore girls started giving me side-eye by minute two of my staring and finally approached me as I contemplated the wall for whole five minutes.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" The brunette asked, her blonde friend hanging a step back.

"Yeah, totally," I mumbled. "I'm, like, shook beyond imagination, but nothing, like, bad."

The girls traded a curious look, seemingly coming to some sort of conclusion. The greedy gleam in their eyes had me internally cheering. "What happened?" The blonde one asked, coming closer.

"I'm not sure if I should tell that to anyone," I stammered, watching them bodily move forward. "Well, okay, I can't keep quiet. But you must never, ever speak of it or I'll get expelled or something," I said nervously. They both nodded so rapidly it reminded me of Funko Pop figurines. "You know the senior guy, Flash? Brown hair, kinda hot?" Again, they both nodded, conspicuously grinning. "I think I just saw him in the closed girls bathroom on the third floor with, like, some brunette from Ms. Johnson's History class," They both gasped. Predictable. "But that's not the worst! They were like, y'know," I made an obscene gesture with my hand and they instantly covered their own mouths with their palms in shock. "And the chick was like 'is it in yet?' and he was like 'yah' and I just closed the door and ran, oh my god I hope they didn't hear me," I squealed at the end, playing the part of a mortified teenager.

All three of us giggled uncomfortably for a moment. The blonde girl stared at me suspiciously. "And what were you doing there?"

I faked a nervous stammer, looking around briefly and showing them my lighter for a moment. They both gasped and nodded in recognition. "Don't tell anybody or my mom is going to have kittens," I pleaded. Both of them nodded solemnly, noticing their own group of friends approach. I used the brief moment to get lost in the river of pupils and by the time they turned around to introduce me, I was already at the opposite part of the hallway.

For the time being, everything seemed peaceful. There were a few giggles and side-eyes directed towards Flash Thompson but nothing out of the ordinary. He was disliked by most of the student population even if nobody dared to admit it outright. I took care to walk around without my earbuds for the day and pulled out my phone to record the most interesting conversations around me whenever I caught the tell tale signs of a gossip mill beginning to run its course around the school.

"Oh my god, I heard about this girl that was caught fucking Flash in the girls bathroom and she literally said 'is it in yet', can you imagine the shock, jeez!"

"Some chick literally just rejected Flash because his dick was too small."

"Rebecca from AP chemistry told me someone saw Flash's micropenis. Poor guy!"

"I wonder if his girlfriend dumped him because he can't do shit, I mean, he doesn't look like the type to eat the kitty."

Those were just the highlights of the Friday afternoon. Come the weekend and the news of Flash's unfortunate condition will make the rounds through every single group chat that the school has and by the time Monday rolls around, nobody will have a clue who started the rumour in the first place. I had to carefully select the girls who were to distribute the rumour and I was happy with the outcome: Marissa and Layla with their squad of chatty, bored rich girls were the perfect choice. I thought they would jump at any opportunity to cause drama and I was right.

It was sufficient to say I was bristling with pride as I cut and compiled the audio track from today's school day before sending it to the group chat.

Clint, Peter and Natasha appeared online as soon as the message delivered and I was delighted at their response. Romanoff's kind words, specifically, made me all warm and mushy inside. I didn't resist the feeling, basked in it even as I did a happy dance around my room. Peter's nonsensical string of emojis was another point of laughter for me. 

It wasn't exactly the smartest way to go about killing Thompson's reputation... Alas, simplicity is the way to success when it comes to large crowds of teenagers. That tiny little vindictive part of me was very much looking forward to the weekend and the results of the inevitable distortion of the rumour I had started. Who knew, maybe by Monday Flash Thompson would not only have a micropenis but horns and hooves as well.

Near bedtime, I had all the avengers send me their regards and thumbs up. I answered the flurry of texts as quickly as I could but there was no point in keeping up with ten or so people constantly streaming their questions, opinions and comments. 

I settled on a single easiest response: pulling my dad's old uni sweatshirt over my tiny lacy pajamas to preserve some modesty, I settled in front of my mirror, turning on my Bluetooth speaker to play "Boss Ass Bitch". In true gen-z fashion, I put on my best resting witch face and solemnly lip-synced to the song's eponymous chorus. My eyeliner was sharp enough to cut paper and my prismatic highlighter glittered enigmatically in the cold light of my blue lava lamp.

The response was, once again, delightful and I genuinely belly-laughed at the adults' attempts to meme after Peter. His blushy face emoji started a whole nother conversation that I didn't participate in but watched from the sidelines with glee, snorting every time his friends and mentors gently teased him about the very obvious crush he harboured on me. 

Seeing Peter starting to go absolutely nuts, I interjected with an offer (more like a dare) of a lip sync battle. He jumped on the bandwagon, immediately going offline to undoubtedly film an epic video of what I thought would be dorky-dancing to some hipster song. I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be a pre-recorded tik tok video of him and Ned fighting with lightsabers while mouthing the words to Fergalicious that played over the Imperial March.

Weirdos. I still followed him on the app, though, it was pretty funny.

Bucky interjected with a very well executed rendition of "Bring Me to Life": he was wearing his full Winter Soldier get-up, complete with an AK-47, dramatically serenading Steve who looked seventeen shades of done with his partner's antics. Wanda's following twenty second voice message consisted of nothing but pure hysterical laughter, summing up everyone's reaction to the video. Bucky was going to go viral one of these days...

Obviously, I had good competition and nobody else seemed to want to participate so I rearranged my surroundings a little bit and stood up at my full height and swapped the old sweatshirt for a cute crop-top hoodie. My thigh-highs were on display and with my make-up, I looked like a proper internet e-girl. I leaned against the mirror as I mouthed along to the song with my best interpretation of the famous Lucifer smirk, seasoned with a tiny bit of angelic innocence: "Doctor, doctor, give me the news, I got a bad case of loving you..."

Needless to say, I won the competition. Eventually Wanda joined in, looking menacing and ominous with her dark clothes and Natasha's red hair flashing somewhere in the background; even Tony did a round (AC/DC as his soundtrack of course) with one of his Iron Man suits but nothing beat my stunt and the reaction that it caused.

I had accidentally called out Bruce with the choice of my song and his teammates gave both of us a lot of cheeky comments about it. We relented and flirted with each other a bit as the conversation flowed into more mundane discussion; I said my good nights somewhere between Tony's bitching about the hobbies of my generation and my nightly skincare routine. The little green heart that I'd become accustomed to over the past few weeks greeted me just as I was about to lock my phone.

Bruce was really too precious for this world. My crush on him was different than the one on Tony, it mellowed out in comparison. I wanted him to hold me, to stroke my hair, to call me his darling and wrap me up in one of those dorky button-ups that he insisted on wearing in spite of Tony's unwanted, however very valid, fashion advice.

For all that's worth, the scientist probably knew or at least suspected and had the good grace to play along just enough to satisfy my deep need for attention... Without crossing any actual lines. It was frustrating, it was disappointing but I had virtually nothing to complain about. Besides, I didn't want to lose the quirky friendship that we had. Banner was, probably, the least judgemental person I knew and I wasn't about to trade that for an awkwardly stolen kiss.

Monday and Tuesday passed in a flurry of giggling and snorting every time Flash walked by. His girlfriend broke up with him, very publicly, accusing him of cheating and he didn't even deny it - just insulted her and stormed off, leaving even his friends looking lost and clueless. I started dragging Peter and his two pet nerds along with me just about everywhere I went in case Thompson decided to do something stupid again. If judging only by the looks he was throwing our little company, he was on his way to figuring out who began nibbling at his reputation.

The week was coming to an end and the rumour began dying off, slowly. That just didn't sit with me, I wanted the fucker gone. Due to the obvious time constraints, I approached MJ regarding Peter - after a brief argument, we came to an agreement regarding Peter's safety should I need to leave him alone in the hallways or at lunch. 

I needed to do this alone so if I got caught, I won't drag them down with me. Granted, I would probably get something like a suspension and the school will attempt to call my mother (she never picks up) but that's about it. That's where her reputation comes in handy-people consciously avoid dealing with her, she can be that unbearable.

But first, I needed to get a teacher that's on my side. After carefully considering the candidates, I settled on my Social Studies professor - he taught the college-level classes and was overall a very chill, nice dude. And he disliked bullies with a flaming passion. So it didn't take me long to work him into a righteous fury - just a quick chat over a cup of tea in his homeroom and a few pictures of Peter's bruised face, complete with my own pleading puppy eyes. We agreed Mr Davies would "accidentally" leave the teacher's lounge unlocked during third period and I would sneak in. The plan wasn't foolproof but if it worked, not only Flash, but also his whole misogynistic, bigoted family would go down.

As I was leaving, Mr Davies looked up at me with a bright smile: "Give them Hell, alright?" And I suddenly noticed he was, in fact, very attractive. The smile brought out the fine wrinkles around his mouth, the crow's feet around his eyes - he smiled a lot. Silver strands mixed in with the wooden brown of his hair.

I let my eyes slide over him briefly before baring my teeth in return. "I owe you one," I don't know what possessed me to say that. My mouth really had a mind of its own sometimes. The room suddenly became hot.

"Sure," He replied, totally oblivious.

On Friday, I made myself a small nest in the empty classroom opposite the teacher's lounge and sat waiting for the signal from Mr Davies - he'd tap on the door once and I'd quietly go inside the teacher's lounge, retrieve Thompson's file and make my way back to the empty classroom to grab my backpack and carry the file to my locker for further examination. 

The first part went successfully and I managed to snag Thompson's file. It was heavy and hefty, all the evidence of his rowdiness compiled into one flimsy plastic folder. There were A LOT of pink slips and I rejoiced internally: at least there was a paper trail of his exploits. The principal didn't do anything about it which was... If not against the rules then at least frowned upon; the plan was to take copies and anonymously submit them to the school board prompting at least an investigation into the blatant disregard for Flash's immoral and illegal behaviour.

On my way back I stumbled upon the principal herself which got me not only a stern talking to, but a whole detention for skipping class. Whatever, I was too elated from potentially ruining the life of a dumb fuck who ruined my friend's face.

Surprise came in the face of Mr Davies, who, having heard the commotion in the hallway, stepped out of his class and saw me being lectured by the principal. 

"I'll take her for the detention," I heard the familiar voice behind me. The principal nodded solemnly and I had no choice but to sigh in resignation. "Three thirty, be here," He nodded to me, walking back, looking way too smug for his own good. So I wasn't the only one excited about the successful completion of stage two of my nefarious plan. Cue evil laughter.

[thatfanficstuff]

Sunday Brunch - Steve Rogers

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Warnings: Language. Always language. And douche-tastic family. 

A/N: So an eternity ago (7 months) the lovely diinofayce gave me an eternal extension on my challenge entry for her because my life was falling apart. So I finally sat down to write this “little” one shot. 3500 words later, here you go. My prompt is in bold. Enjoy.

***

You sat at the end of the table, shoulders slumped with a cup of coffee in your hands. The rest of the team filed in and you ignored them, your mind already on what you had to endure today.

“What’s up with you?” Clint asked.

You glanced at him before grunting and taking a sip of your coffee.

“Seriously, Y/N, what’s wrong?” That came from Steve. Your gaze darted to him over your cup. The concern in his voice almost had you explaining, but he could wait until after your coffee. You’d been up all night worried about today and you needed the caffeine more than you needed air at this point.

“It’s today, isn’t it?” Natasha asked and you nodded. She was the one of the few that knew the extent to which you were dreading this day.

“What’s today?” Steve sounded near panicked. You couldn’t really blame him. Your usual pleasant demeanor was nowhere to be seen at the moment.

“Sunday brunch,” Nat answered for you.

Tony’s head shot up in the kitchen. “That’s today?”

You hummed in agreement. He muttered something you didn’t catch before heading over with a bottle of Bailey’s in hand. “Ah, thank you.” You took the liquor from him and topped off your coffee. “That’ll help immensely.”

“What’s so horrible about brunch?” Bucky asked around a mouthful of food. Steve, Sam and Bucky had been on mission the last time you went so they had missed the fallout. Lucky bastards.

“It’s not just any brunch. It’s brunch with her family,” Clint offered before shooting you a sympathetic smile.

“And?” Sam prompted after no one proceeded to fill them in on the rest.

You raked a hand through your hair. “My parents have a skewed sense of reality. They were both born into money, have always had it and are used to getting what they want. Part of that is a particular set of expectations for their children. None of which I have fulfilled.”

“It can’t be that bad,” Sam said.

You arched a brow. “I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid this brunch.” Even the thought had you smiling though it faded quickly. “Who am I kidding? They’d just send a car.”

Steve studied you with his intense blue eyes and a furrowed brow. “I don’t understand, Y/N. What expectations could they possibly have that you don’t meet? You’re amazing.” His cheeks flared red as if just realizing what he’d said. “I mean—”

Bucky placed a hand on Steve’s shoulder. “What Stevey boy here meant to say was he thinks you’re gorgeous, talented, badass, and sexy as hell.”

“Bucky!”

The dark-haired super soldier grinned and shot you a wink which had you chuckling as you sipped your coffee. He loved to give Steve shit.

“Y/N, I didn’t…I mean what Bucky said—”

You waved a hand through the air to let him know it didn’t matter. Steve glared at Bucky as he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I could single handedly find the cure for cancer and I would still be a disappointment to my parents. My mother in particular. I am a daughter. Expectations for me include marrying a nice, respectable man. Preferably one that can support me in the lifestyle my parents think I should have. He should have a boring job and boring hobbies. We should then have at least 2.4 children and a dog. Just one; a pure breed that costs more than any animal should ever cost.”

The room around you remained silent as you took a sip of your coffee. Steve opened his mouth to say something and you lifted a finger to let him know you weren’t quite finished. “I should not work as it gives the impression my husband cannot support our family on his salary. Even if I am three times as brilliant as him my only job should be my volunteer efforts. PTA. HOA. Or whatever the acronym of the week is. My only value comes from the man whose arm I am on.”

“So just don’t go,” Sam said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“If she doesn’t go, she doesn’t get to see her nieces and nephews,” Nat explained.

You shook your head as you leaned back in your chair. “We all know it’s ridiculous and stupid. My brothers do at any rate. My sister should but she plays her role with a tight smile and dead eyes and resents every second of my rebellion. My brothers are married but they could always do whatever they wanted. They’re boys after all. Mom makes their lives miserable if they don’t give in to her. I don’t really care, but I love the kiddos.”

“Does she have a date for you this time?” Tony asked, his gaze darting briefly in Steve’s direction before coming back to you. He took every opportunity to remind you of the crush you’d stupidly admitted to him one night.

You sighed. “I hope not, but I didn’t tell her I was bringing anyone so probably.”

“I could go with you,” Steve’s voice was so soft you barely heard him.

You sat up in your chair and looked at him, hope blooming in your chest. “What did you say?”

He cleared his throat. “I could go with you.”

“Do you mean that? You’ll really go with me and pretend you’re head over heels for me so they’ll back off for a while?”

Bucky laughed. “I think he can manage to pull it off.”

“Stow it, Buck,” Steve grumbled before turning back to you. “Yeah, I can do that. I’d be happy to help.”

You squealed as you jumped up from your seat and ran around the table. You planted a big kiss on Steve’s cheek. “You have just made my whole day, Rogers.” You hurried to your room to get ready.

***

“This is your parents’ house?” Steve asked as you stood beside the car you’d borrowed from Tony.

You glanced up at the huge house in front of you and imagined how it must look to someone who grew up dirt poor in Brooklyn. “This is it. No backing out now Rogers. I need you.”

His hand found yours and grasped it, lacing your fingers together. “I’m not going anywhere, doll.”

Your face heated at both the nickname and the gesture. You pressed against his side. “Thanks, soldier.”

The door swung open before you could even knock and you were swept into a massive hug. You grunted as your feet came off the ground. “Put me down, you ape.”

“Is that anyway to say hello to your big brother?” Adam teased, though he did set you back on your feet.

You grinned as you straightened your clothes. “Hello, Adam. Steve, this is my oldest brother. Adam, Steve.”

Steve extended his hand, but Adam just stared at him with wide eyes. Finally, he seemed to snap out of it and took the offered hand. “It’s an honor to meet you.”

“Um…thanks.” Red tinged the ridges of Steve’s cheeks and the tops of his ears.

You smiled and took his hand back in yours once your brother finally released it. Adam’s eyes immediately latched on your joined hands. His gaze flicked between the two of you then he grinned. “Nate, get out here,” he called over his shoulder.

You turned toward Steve and dropped your voice so only he would hear. “My other brother. And major Cap fan. Sorry.”

He squeezed your hand to let you know it was fine just as your other brother appeared in the doorway beside Adam. “What is it?” he asked, then his gaze moved to you and Steve. “That’s…”

“Yeah,” Adam said.

“And that’s our sister.”

“Yep.”

“But they’re holding hands.”

“For the love of…” You shoved between your brothers to make an opening and pushed your way into the house, pulling Steve along behind you.

“Nate, Steve. Steve, Nate.” You moved to let go of Steve’s hand so he could shake Nate’s but he kept his grip on you.

Instead, he held out his left hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah…”

You rolled your eyes. “You guys know I’m an Avenger. Why are you so surprised to see me with Steve?”

Adam scratched the back of his head. “Honestly we kind of thought you just made that up to mess with mom and dad.”

You blinked at them as you processed this. “I have literally been on the TV.”

They both shrugged and you closed your eyes and prayed to the universe for patience. Steve chuckled beside you but quickly covered it with a cough when you opened an eye to glare at him.

“I should have realized I’d find you in the middle of the noise, Y/N.”

You barely resisted the urge to growl at the voice and opened your eyes to see the smirking face of your brother-in-law. “Paul. Where’s Amanda and the kids?”

“They’re in the drawing room with your mother and the other women. Your dad sent me to see why these two hadn’t returned to the den. Who’s your friend?”

“Steve Rogers.” He held out his right hand this time and you bit your lip to keep from laughing when Paul winced as they shook hands.

“Well, Steve, you should join us for a drink before dinner,” Paul suggested and did his best to hide the fact he was flexing his hand.

“I think I’ll stick with Y/N. Thanks though.” He put his hand on your back and kept it there as you moved to the drawing room.

“Aunt Y/N!” Announced your presence as the two of you entered the room and were instantly swarmed by children.

“My minions!” You gave them all a hug and a kiss on the head before glancing at Steve to find him watching you with soft eyes and a big smile. “This is Gabrielle, Grant, Kenzie, Jacob and Jasper.” You pointed to each one in turn. “Hester and Prudence are there by their mother, my sister Amanda.” Amanda gave a tight smile and rested her hand on her obvious baby bump. The point four of her perfect 2.4 children.

You wove your way through the kids and took your littlest nephew from his mom. “And this little guy is Charlie,” you cooed as you cradled the three-month old in your arms. “This is Adam’s wife Cecilia and Nora belongs to Nate. Everyone, this is Steve.”

Your lips twitched as you realized that Nora and Cici were already staring with wide eyes. Amanda kept darting glances but refused to look outright as if she didn’t have a poster of him on her wall growing up. The kids were too young to care or know who he was without his suit on. Steve greeted everyone and moved to where your mother sat watching with a disapproving gaze.

He offered his hand and kissed the back of hers when she gave it. “You must be Mrs. Y/L/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

She looked from him to you. “This one has manners. That’s a pleasant change.”

You ignored her but didn’t miss the slight stilling of Steve’s form before he returned to your side. He smiled down at Charlie. “He’s adorable.”

“Thank god they all take after Cici,” you teased.

“Her name is Cecilia and the baby is Charles as you well know, Y/N.”

Steve’s fingers flexed against your back but he followed your lead and ignored her. “All?”

You grinned. “Jasper is Nora and Nate’s. The rest are Adam and Cici’s. They take that whole be fruitful and multiply thing very seriously.”

“Y/N,” your mother chastised. Fortunately, the dinner bell rang before anymore conversation was necessary.

***

After introducing Steve to your father, you all sat for dinner. You slid your chair closer to Steve’s needing his nearness. Your hand found his under the table and pulled it into your lap as you played with his fingers. He placed his mouth beside your ear. “You okay?”

“Because of you, yeah.” You sucked in a breath when you realized you’d said that aloud. Steve’s only response was a gentle squeeze of your hand.

“So, Steven, what is it that you do?” your father asked.

Your brothers and their wives exchanged glances before looking down at their plates to hide twitching lips. “I believe he said he was a captain in the army,” Adam contributed.

A glance at Steve showed him fighting his own smile and there was a wicked glint in his eye you rarely saw. You thought about intervening, saying something in clarification but why? Might as well let them have their fun. “Retired,” Steve amended.

“You don’t look old enough to be retired.”

“He’s older than he looks, dad.” There was a burst of stifled laughter.

Paul glanced around the table with a frown, obviously realizing he was missing something. At this point in his life he should really be used to that by now. “Military work can’t pay well. Though I hear you can make some good money in the private sector once you’re out.”

“I do well enough. Though Y/N makes enough on her own she doesn’t need to depend on me.”

You nearly choked on your dinner and took a drink of water to help wash it down. Steve’s hand rested on your thigh and you nearly choked again. Damn, he was trying to kill you.

“Surely you don’t intend for her to continue working once you’re married?” That came from your mother.

Steve frowned. “I’m pretty sure the world will still need saving regardless of her marital status.” Before anyone could respond to that, he turned back to your brother-in-law. “And what is it you do, Paul?”

He straightened in his seat and patted his mouth with his napkin. “I’m a doctor. Top in my field.”

You wiped your mouth so you could cover your next words with your napkin. “He’s a podiatrist,” you said only loud enough for Steve to hear.

“That’s…” Steve’s voice caught and he cleared his throat before trying again. “That’s great.”

Your mother nodded. “It’s wonderful. As soon as they married, Amanda left her job. Of course, she’s very busy with her children and her volunteer activities.”

“Yes, well. Not all of us can be as industrious as Amanda,” you added, not bothering to keep the bitterness from your tone.

Steve rubbed your thigh with his thumb and you bit your lip to keep from saying anything else.

“Would you just stop?” Amanda said quietly though she slammed her silverware on the table. “We all know you’re jealous so just stop.”

Your brows shot up. “Exactly what am I supposed to be jealous of?”

She looked at you like you were the stupidest thing she’d ever seen then gestured around the table. “This. All of this. You could be married and have children but you just have to be different.”

“Amanda,” your mother chastised. “We have guests.”

“Who? Steve Rogers? You do realize that is Captain America, right? She just enjoys making people feel stupid. He’s not a guest. He’s a decoy. There is no way someone like him would date someone like her.”

“Oh, shit,” one of your brother’s muttered.

You clenched your jaw and kept your gaze focused anywhere but Steve. You couldn’t even argue with her. Every word she said was true. It took a moment for you to realize that Steve was standing beside you with his hand out. You frowned at him. “I think it’s time for us to leave, Y/N.”

“Of course,” you agreed automatically and stood. He was probably embarrassed beyond belief and you weren’t going to make him suffer any longer than necessary.

“Absolutely not. Sit. Down.” Your head jerked in your mother’s direction. “Your friend may leave if he wishes, but you’re not going anywhere until you apologize to your sister.”

“Karen, let it go,” came from your dad.

She ignored him and glared at you. “Apologize at once. Then you can apologize to your father and I for this farce.”

“Mom—” Adam started and you held up a hand to cut him off.

“Apologize to her? What the fuck for?”

“Y/N,” your father snapped.

You whipped around to face him. “What? Just sit there quietly like you always do. Like you did when Amanda quit the six-figure job she loved because it was expected. Or like you did when Adam knocked CiCi up Senior year and all mom was worried about was what your friends would think. Sorry Cici.”

She lifted her mimosa glass in a little toast. “Don’t mind me. This is the best brunch I’ve been to in years.”

“Cecilia, don’t encourage her,” your mother said.

You turned back to her. “Her name is CiCi. Your refusal to use it doesn’t make you cultured, it makes you rude. Just like your poking and prodding at Steve makes you rude. I don’t give a shit if he was a private fresh out of bootcamp with not a dime to his name, I’d still love him. Not that it’s any of your goddamn business.”

As you struggled to catch your breath, you realized what you’d just admitted to. Well, just add it to the embarrassment of the day. You might as well go all in while you were at it. “I thought if I brought him here, you’d back off. Just for the day.” Your voice was softer than it had been and an angry tear rolled down your cheek. Steve reached out and took your hand in his. “I should have known better. You just can’t stand for me to be happy even for a moment.”

“Well, you can forget coming to any family events until you find a way to apologize for this horrid display. I’m sure the children will miss you,” was your mother’s cold response.

The silence stretched as you realized not one word you said had been heard. Not by your mother or your sister at any rate.

“You heartless bitch,” came from the last person you expected and you turned to gape at Steve in surprise. His face was red and his jaw set in anger. Damn. This was probably the wrong time to be getting turned on.

“Excuse me?” your mother gasped.

At the same time your father said, “You can’t talk to my wife like that.”

“Watch me,” Steve snapped back. He pulled you closer to him and kept a firm hold on your hand. “I don’t know what game you’re playing at here, but it needs to end. Y/N is one of the kindest, most generous people I have ever met. She has literally helped save the world more than once and you’re treating her like she’s a nuisance or a pawn to control.”

“Now, just a—”

“I’m not finished. She has so much love to give. I know because I spent a great deal of time hoping to be the recipient of even a small part of it. And now you try to manipulate her using the love she has for her family? If there’s one thing today has made perfectly clear, you don’t deserve her.” He shifted to take in your brothers and their wives. All four of them were looking on in stunned silence. “And frankly, neither do any of you if you let her use you like this.”

Steve turned abruptly and pulled you through the house until the two of you were outside with the front door shut behind you. He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I—”

You grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him forward. Your lips crashed into his. It only took a moment for him to respond and as he kissed you back, his hands found your waist to pull you closer. When you finally separated to take a breath, he pressed his forehead to yours. “I’ve been wanting to do that for ages.”

“Me, too, Rogers. Thanks for sticking up for me.”

“That was…I don’t think I’ve ever been in a situation where I had to bite my tongue quite so many times. I just snapped.” He helped you into the car and shut the door for you. Once he was settled on his side, he turned to face you before starting the car. “Can I ask you a question?”

“After what you went through for me today you can ask me anything you want.”

“Did you mean it when you said you loved me or was that just part of the act?”

“I’m not that good of an actor,” you assured him before leaning toward him for another kiss. For once, you were happy you didn’t skip out on brunch.

[idontknowwhatsarcasmis]

The Lost Moments

HEllooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! Like An Epilogue!.... Sort of...

These are the lost moments on “Away From Home” people! Enjoy =D

Ao3

Ff.net

Xxxxxx

Maria looked intensely at the screen in front of her. Sand as far as her eyes could see.

Sigh. Again.

“Will you stop that?” said an annoyed voice at her side, exasperated, and she had to stop herself from laughing.

“You made me leave my bed, the nice pleasant weather from my quarters, to this… you can take my sighs.” She looked at him, his one apparent eyebrow raised. “What?”

“What happened to ‘sir’?”

“You took me from my kids, you don’t deserve a ‘sir’… Nick.”

His eyebrow rose higher, her deadpan expression mirrored on his face.

“You’re also taking me away from my wife for longer than I care to be, be glad she let us both walk out of that room, Nick-y.” She winked at the nickname, allowing the huge grin to spread on her face at both his outraged expression and the thought of her wife.

Her wife. Alive. Back waiting for her with their kids.

*Buzz Buzz*

Her phone beeping made her glance and check the new picture that the woman in question had just sent her. In the photo, the three most important people in her life were staring at her, pouts on all of their faces with a caption of “miss you already” and a sad emoji under it.

They had all become such saps after being reunited.

Not that she was complaining. Her smile grew bigger, and she was thankful no agents were around to see it – her reputation could not last that.

“Oh, for god’s sake, tell them to stop that. It’s not like we’re at any risk, and this won’t even take that long, okay?” He rolled his eye as she showed him the picture. It was her turn to raise an eyebrow.

He looked back at her. At the picture. At her.

She waited.

“Fine, take a selfie and say we miss them too.” His voice was grumpy, and Maria laughed.

Giant saps, all of them.

“Shut up!”

“Yes, sir.” She said, snapping the picture at the exact time that allowed her to capture a very small smile at the corner of his lips, sending it to her family with a “we’ll see you soon”. As she turned it off and looked at the fast approaching city, she allowed herself to smile, closing her eyes.

Her family. Her wife and two kids were here.

Natasha…

xxxx-xxxx

As she walked into the ‘meeting room’ a few days later, she was already shaking her head, brow furrowed and back tense. With the click of the door she turned around, staring straight into Nick’s eye, all her years of experience and command into that single look.

“You will not call her. Natasha will take no part in this.”

He just looked at her, and Maria felt a tension in the room that she hadn’t felt between them since she’d joined SHIELD and had just led the first mission with Fury as her handler, but this was non-negotiable. Her wife would not take any part in this. She had retired, after everything that she’d been through - the red room, living 5 years without half her family, dying - no, Natasha would have no part of this.

“You’re gonna lie to her?” Was the only thing he asked, face just as blank as hers.

“No.” Was her immediate answer “But I refuse to leave the kids alone. She is not going in.”

He nodded.

“I wasn’t gonna send her in, Hill.” He said after a while, in a low voice. She remained tense. She loved Nick, she really did. He was more of a father to both him and Natasha than anyone ever was. And quite the grandfather to the kids (something of which he was very proud of thinking no one knew he was proud of), but she loved her family even more. She would not place her wife in the line of fire ever again. Heck, she was apprehensive from putting herself in such state for what it might do to Natasha.

“I wasn’t. I promise. Not unless it was a last resort.” He said, hands up in a placating gesture, looking pointedly at her hands.

She realized she’d turned them into tight fits and immediately opened them, forcing her shoulders to easy a bit.

“And just ‘cause she wouldn’t stay still if it came to that, and you know it.” He continued.

She forced herself to take a deep breath. Closing her eyes, willing those horrible images and the feeling of losing her to go away.

“I know… Sorry, Nick, I-“

“It’s fine Maria.” He walked closer, placing one hand on her shoulder. He’d been there. On the ship, the day she found out Natasha had died. He’d been there the following days until Cap had come back, giving her the greatest gift of all.

Xxxx Flashback xxxx

“Hey, Cap! All done with fixing the time-line?… oh… fuck…” Clint’s voice broke and it made Maria frown. What could have possibly made him curse in front of his kids and Cap?

“Careful, Clint. The Capt doesn’t like this kind of talk.” She said, teasing him weakly, without turning around.

No answer.

“Clint?”

She asked, finally moving to see what had made him so shocked. There he was, standing frozen, hunched over the table as if that was the only thing holding him standing. Her frown intensified as she followed his gaze, trying to determine what he was seeing that it made him react so violently.

And then her eyes found it.

Found her.

And her mind went numb.

She couldn’t breathe.

Tears were already gathering in her eyes before she could even fully comprehend what she was seeing.

Red hair.

Pale skin.

Green eyes.

The greenest eyes she had ever seen, alight with life, wet with unshed tears, just as hers were.

Maria couldn’t breathe; her legs felt like lead, but it didn’t matter. She had no idea what was that made her move, but she did. Faster than she ever had before, she was running. And so was her wife… so was

“Natasha.” She managed to breathe out once. Twice, three times, like a mantra, before she was close enough. It was going to hurt, but she didn’t care.

“Masha!” Her wife shouted as she finally, finally got within arms range and Maria, scared shitless it might be a hallucination, hugged her around the waist, tightly.

Solid.

Real.

And if nothing else had, the fast beating heart she could feel pounding close to hers, was the uncontestable proof of her being very much alive.

Alive.

She had no idea who started shaking and crying first; she just knew that Natasha’s hands were around her neck and shoulders, tightly gripping her hair, her legs wrapped around her waist as Maria’s own arms hugged the smaller woman’s waist, hands sprawled across her back, touching as much of her as she could.

“Nat. Natasha” She breathed out as sobs took over her. “You, what; how-” but her wife didn’t let her finish. Amidst tears, sobs, and more shaking than Maria ever remembered feeling, Natasha’s lips found hers. It was nothing like any kiss they had ever shared before. It was pure desperation. It was messier than she could ever remember it being. It was Natasha again in her arms.

It was perfect.

It was home.

xxxx-xxxx

She shook her head, looking at Nick again.

“Who then? Or is it just… you know… or are we…?” She asked as he moved around, opening a computer.

“Natasha would kill me if I let you anywhere too close to the fight.” He rolled his eye at that. “And I don’t think for a second that living at home has made her any less deadly or fit and I like being alive again too much to risk it.” He shook his head, and Maria allowed herself to smile.

“It really hasn’t.”

He stared at her for a moment. Her smile became a smirk.

“Oh, spare me.”

She laughed, finally fully relaxing.

“Who then?”

He turned the laptop towards her.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Xxxx

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Maria just shook her head as she looked at her wife’s face.

“Parker?”

She nodded.

“He’s like, 16!”

“Yep.”

“No other choice?”

Maria looked away at that.

“Masha…”

“No.” Maria looked back at the shorter woman: her green eyes were focused, shoulders straight - Agent Natasha Hill was looking at her. “Parker is not alone, Natasha.”

“He’s not experienced. The kid’s suffered enough.”

Her hands closed into a fist. She couldn’t even exactly disagree with Natasha; she had just made the exact same points to Nick.

“I know.”

“He’s almost Nicky’s age.”

“I know, Nat.”

Silence.

“He’s not gonna be alone. And it is his choice, in the end.”

“Maria, please tell me you’re not gonna-“

She was already shaking her head, a small smile playing on her lips.

“I’ll be accompanying the situation, mostly. He said he was quite sure that you hadn’t lost your edge, and he wasn’t willing to risk it.”

Natasha laughed at that, a smug smirk on her lips, and she got more comfortable in her seat.

“Good.”

They shared another moment in silence. Their kids were asleep on their beds, on the opposite side of the room, having exhausted themselves after a whole day of running around and playing about. Running… Playing… Nicky was almost Parker’s age.

“There’s this new guy. He’s gonna lead the mission on the field. Parker will be a backup sort of thing.”

Natasha nodded, frowning a bit.

“New guy? Is he trustworthy?”

Maria shrugged.

“Too soon to tell, I suppose, but he has been helping.”

“Good.” She looked at their kids for a moment, before facing her again. “Parker’s gotta come out of this alive, or Fury will find out exactly how I have not been sitting idly by.”

Maria smirked.

“Don’t worry, babe. He knows.”

Xxxx

“Nick…” Maria sighed as they watched Peter walk away, but he was already opening new tabs on his laptop, most likely booking a ridiculously expensive hotel that would change the whole vacation trip the poor kid was expecting.

“We need him, Maria.”

She shook her head, but didn’t speak up. She watched as he moved things around, twisting words and people to make sure everything would go down smoothly. Her heart warmed at the fact that not once did Nick asked her to help, knowing she did not agree with it. Once he was finished, they both gave out the orders needed to put it in motion, until all that was left was a closed laptop between them.

He got up and walked towards her, stopping right in front of Maria, looking her right into her eyes.

“I don’t want to ruin his life, Maria. But Tony saw something in him.” He paused for a moment before continuing, “I see something in him.”

Maria nodded slightly. She did too. That kid had the heart in the right place and the drive and powers to do something with it.

“I do too, Nick.” Hell, she helped train and prepare some of the new agents quite a few times; she knew how to recognize talent. “He’s… Nicky’s almost his age, Nick. I-We can’t…”

“He won’t be alone Maria. I promise you that. But he has a gift, and he wants to use it.”

“He doesn’t, right now. It should be his decision to take.”

“We don’t have that kind of time. He needs a push.”

They stayed in silence for a while before Maria sighed. She was definitely no stranger to hard decisions.

“Tell me at least you got them a nice place?”

He smiled before starting to walk away.

“What do you take me for, Hill?”

“You don’t want me to answer that.” He barely reacted at that, though she knew he was rolling his eye.

She paused.

“Did… ‘we’ get a nice place?”

…

“Nick!”

His laughter echoed down the damn walls.

Xxxx

“He walked away.” She said, after a while.

Natasha sighed.

“Are you okay?”

“I wasn’t the one running around Italy fighting for my life…” Maria said, knowing she sounded quite bitter about the fact.

Natasha was silent for a while before asking in a quiet voice.

“Did you want to be?”

Maria looked away towards the window, not knowing if she wanted to answer. Not knowing if she knew how to answer.

“I… don’t know, Nat…” She whispered after a while. Shaking her head, she continued, “I really don’t know. Part of me wanted to. I always loved being in the action, having control. I hate the fact that Nick all but forbade me from taking part in it even though I knew I could help. I hated the thought of leaving it up to Parker alone. But…”

She stopped herself.

“But?” Natasha prompted.

“But… I hate the thought of risking losing all of you more.”

“Masha…”

Maria took a deep breath, looking away from Natasha as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.

“I can’t leave them, Nat. I can’t make them, I can’t make you go through this again.”

They were silent. For a long time.

A tear ran down her cheek.

“Masha…”

She closed her eyes.

“Masha, look at me.”

Taking a deep breath, Maria turned to look at her wife once more. Green eyes bright with unshed tears too.

“I don’t want you to take part in these things. I don’t. The thought that I might lose you again is… I can’t bear it. Can’t. Doesn’t even enter my mind.” She shuddered, one tear falling down her cheek. “But, and this is very important, Masha, if you feel it’s necessary. If you feel like you can, and have to, help Parker… then do it. It’s whom I fell in love with, Masha. The hardass, awesome, best agent there was, Commander Hill. You’re an amazing professional, Masha. You are good at what you do. And barring a mythical accident, I know, I know you’ll always come back to me. To us. To our family.”

Tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now.

“I love you.”

Natasha smiled.

“I love you too.”

“Thank you…”

Natasha laughed a bit as she playfully shoved her wife away.

“Always, my love. Come back soon?”

“Is that an order?”

The words came out of her mouth without any thought, but as soon as she said them, she smiled, mirroring the expression that on Natasha’s face.

“It is, Commander Hill.”

“Aye, aye, Agent Hill.”

Xxxx

Maria had just finished the check-up around the ship that would take her to Earth and into the latest bat-shit crazy situation an Avenger had somehow managed to get himself into, when Fury’s voice sounded on the speakers.

“Commander Hill, stand down.”

She sighed.

“We’ve talked about this Nick, I’m going to help Parker.”

“There’s no need.”

Maria froze.

“What?” She hissed, and didn’t calm at all when Nick laughed.

“The boy came through, Maria. He did it.”

A breath Maria did not know she was holding came out in one go. Suddenly, she was almost gasping.

“God damn it, Nick!” She said, quickly climbing out of the ship and seeing the smug-ass face of her ‘boss’ down the ramp.

“Lead with that next time, you bastard. What do you mean, ‘did it’?” She asked, storming towards him.

“Do I command no respect around here anymore?” He asked, indignant.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Anyway, he did it. Discovered the real culprit was, uh, whatshisface, thought we had turned our backs on him, came through at the end, won the battle and the girl, yada, yada, very much like Stark.”

It had been a very long time since Maria had been this lost.

“I... He… Real…Girl?”

Yeah, okay, so she wasn’t being the most coherent ever, but that was no reason for Fury to outright laugh at her. For heaven’s sake, she’d just had had a very tough conversation with her wife about going to Earth to save Peter and he… he’d done it. He saved Earth.

Maria smiled.

“Okay, your smile is starting to creep me out now, so just go back to your wife. In the 30 minutes you took to pack your bags she already came to my office twice, threatening me to quite a few things I dare not repeat in polite company. You daughter also came by once… Let me tell you, I dunno whom I most fear retaliation from. Nicky is ridiculously like you.”

She laughed at his sarcastic tone (not that she doubted that Natasha had really been to see Nick those two times and she had been told that Nicky had taken quite a few of her commanding habits for some reason – something she was really proud of) but became slightly more serious as he looked back at her. His one eye soft and focused on her.

“Still… I’m proud of you, Hill. Despite what ended up happening, well… It’s just another proof I chose my deputy right.”

Maybe she was getting old. There was no other explanation for the chocked up feeling she was experiencing right then.

Just as Fury was about to leave the hangar, she found her voice again.

“You going soft on me, sir?”

He stopped.

“I probably just had too many martinis.” He quipped without turning back, and Maria smiled fondly at him.

“And lose the ‘sir’, Maria. We’re on vacation.” He said over his shoulder, the hint of a smile in what she could see of his lips.

“Sure, Nick.” She answered quietly, turning around to get her things back.

“And go pull your redhead off me! She really hasn’t taken it easy…”

Maria chuckled; she had no doubt of that.

She looked at the doors and then back at the plane, a smile coming up her lips. Maybe a bit of fun with her family would be good. As her wife and kids often told her: she was a hopeless nerd.

Xxxx

“Momma! Are you coming home?”

Maria laughed.

“Hello to you too, K!”

She knew their son had learn how to look sheepish by looking at Natasha. Sometimes it seemed impossible that those two were not related, just as she knew how much Nicky looked like her sometimes. Though she wouldn’t admit, Maria treasured that more than anything; that her daughter would feel so attached to her, feel so connected, that she’d still kept those habits even though they had a 5-year long gap in their relationship. Sometimes, she’d just look at her while Nicky was focusing on something or being a bit bossy with K, and she just saw herself in there. Natasha always came up to her on those moments, hugging her tight and thanking her for… everything. As if she was the one who needed to be thanked for anything.

“Hi, momma!” He said, finally.

“Hello, mum!” Nicky was right behind her brother, a smile big on her face.

“Hello, guys.”

“So… Are you coming home?” His son asked, smiling despite trying very hard to look like he wasn’t.

Maria chuckled.

“I just left, K. How can I already be coming home?”

“But I miss you already!” He son shouted, and even her daughter seemed like she was about to do the same. Maria had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling.

“We do indeed.” Natasha’s voice came up from somewhere in the room before her face showed up on screen. “A few days should be enough? A few hours?” She asked, and Maria could see the longing, but also pride shining in her eyes.

“Yep.”

“Precision, Masha…”

“Nat, I need to assess the situation.”

“Commander!”

Sigh.

What does a mother and a wife have to do to play a prank on her family, nowadays?

“Give me 3 days. Tops.”

“And you’ll be here?” K asked.

“Or on your way?” Nicky completed, and Maria stopped. Looking from one face to the other.

“What is this, am I reporting for duty?” She laughed.

“Yep!” The three said in unison.

“You need to be here in three days, soldier!” Nicky said in a mocking stern voice that really did sound like hers.

“No leeway” K quipped, and Maria was impressed he knew that word… probably Coulson.

She looked at Natasha.

“You heard the directors, Commander Hill. Three days tops.”

God, she loved her family.

Shaking her head, she said the only thing she could say.

“Aye, aye.”

Xxxx

As she closed the messaging system and made sure the whole ship was powered down, she started to make her way towards the section of the ship she was sharing with the kids during this impromptu vacation Nick had taken them on. When he’d first mentioned it to her, it had been crazy. As much as she had wanted to spend uninterrupted time with her family, she dared not to leave Earth unattended (especially now that they’d lost Tony, and that Thor had gone God knows where). But three sets of pouty lips, and three pairs of arms hugging her ridiculously tight made her resolve crumble faster than a house of cards.

She had barely paid any attention to Nick’s plan to take care of Earth – which had obviously been a mistake. Those two shape-shifter were laughable and ridiculous! How could they not see Mysterio for the farce he was! Granted, she and Nick hadn’t either, but they were thousands of miles away from the actual person! All they had to go on was some videos and reports!

She shook her head; those two buffoons were problems for another day. She could always drag up the old disciplinary training she imposed on badly behaving recruits. That should be fun.

She sighed.

Thank god for Peter Parker.

She sighed again, closing her eyes. They had two of the great heroes of the war against Thanos right here. Right here, doing… doing nothing. Maybe she was right; they were being selfish.

As she walked down the end of the corridor leading to their quarters, she paused by the door. She could hear, even through thick metal, raised, excited voices. They were likely playing with something.

Adjusting the strap of her duffle on her shoulder, she opened the door, and could now actually hear what they were saying.

“Momma’s favourite is chocolate, isn’t it?”

“Yep, little one! She’ll come back soon, so we need to get this done!”

“Yeah, K! Come on, let me help you.”

Maria smiled as she let those voices fill her whole. It was so heartwarming to hear how kind Nicky had been to her brother since they’d come back. And to herself as well. She was much more affectionate with all of them, with Natasha as well. Maria had theories about placating guilt and all, but it didn’t matter. They were all alive and together.

And maybe they were being selfish, yeah. But she would not risk this. She would not risk them unless absolutely necessary. They had done their part, both of them. It was time for them to enjoy it – to enjoy everything they fought for.

The grin came to her face easily as she took a few steps forward, bracing herself for the dramatic shouts of her fooling them and ‘what happened to earth’ and ‘that was fast’, and just because she couldn’t resist, nerd that she was, she said in a unnecessarily loud voice, watching all three of them jump:

“Honey, I’m home!”

XXXX

I AM ALIVE PEOPLE!!

I’m SO sorry for how long this took! I swear I wanted to have this posted last year, BUT just when I had finished writing it ALL a cousin pointed out that I had NOT seen both of the post credits scenes… So after being shocked for like three weeks I had to REWRITE a bunch of parts! …Almost all really… But I DID have some scenes I loved aaaand I did want to somehow follow the film’s plot SO! If it got confused:

Nick, Maria, Nat, K and Nicky are ALL in the ship having a loooong well deserved vacation together! Nick and Maria gather around a nice computer set up to check out what’s going on with their ‘copies’ on Earth and give some orders and advice, but not all the time (they are on vacation after all). So every single scene it’s them on the ship, watching the mess their counterparts are making, kay? =D So sorry if it was confusing, buuut I kinda liked writing this bit and hope you like reading it too!

Also, thank you SO very much for ALL the reviews and kind words… you have no idea how much it’s helped me… Work and life has been crazy, but I’m back to writing now, feel like I’m myself again and you guys definitely helped so thanks! =D

I’ll try to answer individually later, but until then:

Thank you veeeeeeeeeeeeeery much aaaand see you soon! ^^

[elisaphoenix13]

Safety Tempts Fate

It all started with Rhodey. He got up from the couch to grab a drink from the fridge, opened the door, stared for a little while, then quietly closed it after grabbing a bottle of beer. He took a few more seconds in the kitchen before returning to the living room but no one thought anything of it. Stephen was next. He went into the kitchen to make lunch for everyone, opened the refrigerator door, let out a long suffering sigh, but grabbed what he needed and shut the door again.

All three kids were completely unperturbed by the reactions from the kitchen and it immediately had Tony suspicious. Stephen didn't do his Mom Sigh unless it pertained to them after all. The engineer didn't do anything until after Wanda opened the fridge and snickered, and he stood from the couch to go into the kitchen himself. Wanda had already closed the fridge and moved on to help Stephen with lunch, so when Tony opened the fridge and looked inside, he immediately burst into laughter.

There were googly eyes on everything. Not only that but one of the kids staged a murder scene on one of the shelves with a couple of the beers and an orange cut in half. Tony was relatively positive that was Harley's idea.

"You kids need a hobby." Tony says after his laughter subsides and he closes the door to return to the living room and his previous spot on the couch.

"We do have hobbies." Peter replies as he throws down an Uno card.

"Was the murder scene necessary?" The engineer asks and watches the boys look at their sister as she innocently places her own Uno card down.

"That was actually Dia's idea." Harley says. "She has a dark sense of humor."

Tony narrows his eyes. "I don't believe you."

Cassie snorts as she pulls a card. "Who do you think came up with the idea to replace the cream in the oreos with toothpaste?"

Peter blanched. "That was Dia?! I was puking for the rest of the day!"

So Diana filled the cookies with mint toothpaste. It was one of the few things mint flavored or smell that was allowed on the family floor. Peter's spider DNA had the poor boy sick as a dog whenever he consumed anything with mint, and he had hated the fact when he first discovered he couldn't eat mint. He loved mint before the bite. It was definitely a sacrifice he was forced to make.

"To be fair, we tried to warn you." Cassie says and Peter opens his mouth to say something, but he immediately snaps it shut and whips his head around to look at a nearby window. Tony catches the action and immediately taps his housing unit, his suit forming around him, and covers Cassie and Diana.

"STEPHEN! SHIELD!"

Gunfire follows the billionaires shout immediately after, and everyone ducks and takes cover as Stephen drops everything to conjure a shield around the tower. Once checking that Cassie and Diana are unharmed, Tony turns to fly out of the destroyed window and toward one of the armed helicopters. He fires his repulsors at the base of the blades just as pillars of light shoot out of the ground and direct the falling chopper away from populated areas. More gunfire comes through the comm and Tony turns away from the second helicopter as Quill destroys it, to find more attackers in the tower.

"Harley! Peter! Get the girls out!" Tony commands and watches with relief when Rescue and Spiderman escape the tower with Diana and Cassie.

He was grateful Clint and his family were back at their farm or there would have been more vulnerable people to take care of. The next thing that caught his attention was the flickering shield around the building. If it flickered, it meant that Stephen was hurt and having trouble keeping his focus. Then it fell completely seconds later.

"Tony! Mom is down!" Natasha confirms over the comm and he curses colorfully in Italian as he flies back into the tower and shoots a repulsor at the attacker closest to the fallen sorcerer.

Unsurprisingly, their attackers were Hydra. They never believed they got rid of them because they always seemed to come out of the woodwork like cockroaches. It was bold of them to attack directly though, and definitely new. Harley and Peter would go to one of the safe houses and stay to protect the girls until either Tony or Stephen called and gave them the okay that it was safe to return, or they joined them. They were thorough about emergency protocols in case the tower was attacked.

Tony kneels next to Stephen and applies pressure to the major gunshot wounds, and Wanda keeps her own magical shield up to protect them. More bullets from a third chopper scatter through the tower and Tony looks around for the direction it's coming from until he finds it outside the window across from the counter they're hiding behind.

"Quill, North side! Banner, you better not be jolly green right now! My wife needs help!"

"So do Sam and Steve! How bad is it?" Bruce asks over the comm.

"Friday, scan Stephen."

"The doctor needs immediate medical attention. His vitals are dropping rapidly." Friday says with worry.

"Shit. Tell me what I can do to stabilize him until Bruce can get up here."

His AI instructs him to use his medicated spray as well as compression webs (something Tony installed into his, Stephen's, and Harley's suits) and then looks next to him at Wanda.

"Protect him."

She nods. "I got him."

"Quill! On me! We're about to light up these cult wannabes."

Tony flies back outside of the tower, and asks FRIDAY to target all non friendlies as Quill joins him. Once he locks on, he opens the back of his suit to safely redirect the celestials powers, something he had to make a small modification to since it was originally for Thor's lightning. Now the suit could use both lightning and literal light.

"Don't hold back Porcupine."

Quill sends his celestial light into Tony's suit and it comes out in smaller beams that hone in on the remaining, standing Hydra agents. Once the last man falls, Tony and Quill fly back into the tower and the billionaire asks Scott, Natasha, and Bucky to clean up. Tony returns to Stephen's side as bodies get dragged away and he looks around for Bruce.

"Is Banner still helping Sam and Steve?!"

"Tony…" Stephen whispers and winces when he tries to move.

"Hey, Mama Bear. Try not to move. Bruce will be here soon...unless you can heal yourself?" Tony asks hopefully but his shoulders slump when the sorcerer shakes his head minutely.

"Can't focus."

"Shit."

There was too much blood. The compression webs were helping, but it didn't look like Bruce would be arriving in time to help Stephen. Tony's worry was now through the roof. Even Wanda focused on Stephen's injuries with her magic and was a huge help, but also temporary. Then he looked at Quill. The man was still discovering what his powers were capable of, and Tony wondered if he could redirect his healing abilities to Stephen.

"Porcupine...your powers heal you right?"

"To an extent." Quill affirms.

"Do you think you can turn that focus on Stephen?"

"...I don't know. I don't want to hurt him anymore."

"At this rate he'll die!" Tony shouts. "He's losing too much blood! At least try!"

"Fuck alright! Fine!"

Quill kneels next to Stephen and releases a heavy huff before willing the light into his hands and placing them over Stephen's major wounds. He focuses on the healing factor and attempts to redirect it toward Stephen and his eyes widen when he feels the sorcerer's wound knit themselves closed. When he finishes, he pulls his hands away and both he and Tony stare in wonderment at the healed skin.

"First, holy crap, I didn't know I could do that. Second, I need to go sleep for a couple of days."

Tony looks up from Stephen and curses. "Shit. The kids. Friday-"

"Unharmed at a safehouse. They weren't followed." She interrupts immediately. "The doctor is stable but needs rest."

"Okay. There's no way it will be here. Well go to the safe houses. Friday, call my usual contractors and ask them to make repairs to the tower. Tell the team to stay at the safe houses until the tower is repaired." Tony says as he taps his housing unit and his suit crawls back into it and FRIDAY confirms his commands in his comm piece. "Any cars survive the attack?"

"The garage was untouched Boss."

"Give temporary authorization to the team to use the cars. Quill, help me with Mama Bear."

Stephen groans quietly when Quill helps him to his feet as gently as possible, and both he and Tony each throw one of his arms around their shoulders. Thankfully, the elevator was safe to ride, so they took it down to the garage and walked over to one of the cars, to carefully lay Stephen down in the backseat. Tony walks around to the driver side and slides in as Quill gets into the passenger, and the engineer gives him a look.

"I expected you to come to the safehouse with us, but are you really leaving the flea behind?"

"It figures you would come up with a new nickname." Scott's voice responds and Tony rolls his eyes as he starts the car and peels out of the garage.

"Is there space for both of our families at this safe house?" Quill asks.

"Porcupine, look at me, and then rethink your question."

"Nevermind." The celestial says, and the rest of the drive goes by in silence.

When they arrive at the safehouse, it was clear why Tony told Quill to think about it. The style wasn't much different from the tower. It was smaller but there were enough rooms to house all eight of them. One for each couple, one for the boys, and one for the girls. One of those rooms, Tony and Quill dragged Stephen into and got him into bed as the kids rushed in to check on their Mama Bear. Scott had grown back to normal in the meantime and started making a late lunch/early dinner that was so rudely interrupted by Hydra, and the kids curl up with Stephen once they get his okay. He slept most of the time, but having the kids around was comforting for the short times he was awake. They just watched movies to keep themselves entertained until Tony called them into the kitchen to eat. Stephen's eyes slowly open when the kids climb off the bed and he sits up and follows them at a slower pace until Quill stops him halfway down the hall.

"We'll bring you your food. Get back in bed."

"I'm well enough to join the rest of you." Stephen says quietly and Tony motions Quill away to take his place.

"At least sit on the couch okay?" Stephen nods and his husband helps him to the couch where Scott hands him his dinner.

"Mommy? Are you okay?" Diana asks.

"I'm fine. Just need some food and rest." Stephen mumbles and Tony sits next to him.

"And a little extra attention and TLC from Dad."

"Just for clarification," Harley starts. "These walls are not sound proof."

A disappointed sigh comes from both Scott and Quill, and the three older kids make a face.

"Tough it out for a week. Two at the most." Tony says. "That's how long it will take to fix the tower."

Quill's eyes light up mischievously and he looks at Scott. "Dude! You can shrink us-"

"Absolutely not!" Stephen says tiredly but firmly. Mama Bear always got the last word after all.

[sidehowriting]

Princesses and Secret Admirers

Masterlist in bio!

A/N: I was really hoping @loki-the-fox would do a Valentine’s Day Challenge because I had an idea going and look! It’s a Valentine’s Day Challenge! This is the 4th installment of the Princesses series (?) but can function as a stand alone. I’m not going to link the previous parts here because I get more traffic without links. But they can all be found in my masterlist.

Prompt: Who’s it from? Your secret admirer? 

Pairings: Dad!Thor x Daughter

Summary: Someone has a crush on Thor’s daughter

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Just cute fluff, over protective Thor and other Avengers 

Coming home was always Thor’s favorite part of missions. He missed his wife, his kids, his simple domestic life. Getting home early always a treat. And this time was no exception.

It was just past three-thirty in the afternoon when he got home, a full eight hours ahead of schedule. He crept in as quietly as he could, finding his family gathered in the kitchen.

A chorus of cheers and yelling greeted his ears as his family rushed towards him. He smiled broadly, easily encompassing his wife, son, and daughter into his arms. “I missed you all so much!” He said, giving each family member a kiss. “I’m so happy to be back!”

“I missed you too, Dad!” His daughter said, clinging to his middle.

“We’re so glad you’re back.” His wife placed a sweet kiss to his cheek as she spoke.

His tiny two-year-old son simply jumped up and down at his legs yelling, “Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

When he had his fill of their family hug, he released them. “I was just making some after school snacks,” his wife said. “I have some cut up apples with peanut butter if that’s alright. Or I can make you whatever you please. Sometime more filling.”

“This is fine, my queen.” He placed his hand on her waist and kissed her cheek again. “Stark fed us well.”

“I’ll slice up another one then,” she said, smiling. “Can you go through Lina’s backpack with her?”

“Of course!” Thor bellowed and joined his daughter at the kitchen table. The backpack in question was already sitting in the middle of the table. Lina was seated, pulling school books out of the pack. Thor sat down next to her. “What do we have?”

He took the stuff she handed him. “I have a worksheet to do for history. And I have two pages of math to do. Will you help me?” She looked up at him, pleadingly. He never did have the willpower to deny her. Her sweet blue eyes always melted his heart.

“Of course, my princess.” He started to sort the books while little Arik started to pull at his leg. Thor lifted his son up, placing him on his lap. “We’ll both help, right, little prince?” Smiling, Thor opened Lina’s folder, flipping through the papers to find her worksheet. “What’s this?” He pulled out a torn piece of paper, intricate creases showing that it was once folded in many ways. In the center of the paper was a note: I liked your hair ribbon. Pink is a good color.

His wife placed a plate of apples and peanut butter on the table next to them. Arik wasted no time in grabbing and apple and munching on it. “Oh, is that a note?” She asked, ruffling the little boy’s hair. “Who’s it from? Your secret admirer?”

“Yeah!” Lina said proudly, grabbing the letter from Thor. “Look at this one!”

Thor watched as Lina passed the note to her mother, utterly confused. “What? What secret admirer?”

“Olina’s been getting notes just about everyday this week. Someone in her class has a crush on her.”

“What?” Thor’s eyes were wide as disks, looking from his daughter to his wife. “No, absolutely not.”

Lina sighed, “It’s okay, Dad. Valentine’s Day is next week.”

“That doesn’t make it better!” Panic was starting to settle in. No, no way. Olina was only seven. There was no way in the nine realms that she had a secret admirer. She was far too young for crushes.

“I hope they’re from Tommy,” Lina said, grabbing an apple and coating it in peanut butter. “He’s the cutest.”

Thor clutched his chest, feeling like he might pass out. “It’s okay,” came his wife’s soothing voice. She placed her hand on his shoulder and kissed his cheek. “No need to worry. It’s just a school yard crush.”

No matter what his wife said, Thor couldn’t get past that his daughter had a secret admirer. The thought was in the back of his mind as he helped Lina with her homework, helped make dinner, and helped get the kids to bed. He didn’t say anything until he and his wife were preparing for their own slumber.

“I don’t like this,” he said, brushing his golden hair. “She’s far too young.”

“She’s seven, Thor.” His wife sounded tired and borderline annoyed. “That may be young for an Asgardian, but for a human that’s a perfectly normal age to have a crush.”

“She’s half Asgardian!” He countered.

His wife started laughing. “She’s also half human. So far, her aging is on par with humans. If that changes then I will fully support your opinion that she’s too little. Until she slows down, she’s allowed to think some boy in her class is cute.”

Thor continued to grumble and complain about it. Not pleased with how fast his little girl was growing up. Wasn’t it just yesterday she was swaddled tightly, nothing but a tiny face poking out of a blanket as he rocked her to sleep? He did not like this one bit.

“Now,” his wife came to him, wrapping her arms around his middle. His large frame prevented her hands from meeting. “You’ve been away for eight days. I’ve missed you. I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to be with you.”

Putting the brush down, he smirked. He twisted around and easily lifted her off her feet. She squealed and giggled, grabbing onto his shoulders. He kissed her deeply yet quickly, just giving her a taste of what was to come. “Let me remind you, then.”

//

Thor volunteered to stay at home the next morning with Arik while his wife took Olina to school. He was formulating a plan on how to deal with this secret admirer and wanted his lovely wife out of the house to do so. Was it a bit sneaky? Sure, but he was just doing his duty as a father.

While Arik was content watching cartoons, Thor pulled out his phone and sent a group text:

Thor: We have a situation

Tony: Something wrong?

Clint: Is everything ok?

Steve: Is your family alright?

Bucky: I can be there in 20 minutes

Thor: Everyones fine. I just found out theres someone at school who was been sneaking Lina love notes.

Sam: Love notes??????

Tony: This is an emergency

Bucky: I’ll be there in 10

Steve: Whos the punk?

Thor: I dont know. Shes been coming home with secret notes everyday from someone. She doesnt know who its from

Tony: Give me the note. I’ll have the handwriting analyzed

Thor: That will take too long. I have another idea

//

Thor pushed open the door into the house after getting Lina from school. “Mom!” Lina yelled, “we’re back!”

“Remember what I said,” Thor whispered to her before her mother appeared. “Mummy doesn’t need to know.”

“Hello!” His wife walked in with a smile on her face. “How as school?”

“It was great! I got a hundred on the history worksheet Dad helped me with yesterday!” Lina said so proudly, making Thor feel great.

“That’s so wonderful!” Lina’s mother kissed the top of the little girl’s head. Something about her tone and behavior was off and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. “Why don’t you go wash up and play with Arik for a little bit before snack and homework?”

With no other prompting, Lina raced out of the room, leaving him alone with his wife. Instantly, her posture changed. Her eyes hardened and her hands went right to hips like they do when she scolds the children.

“So, do you want to tell me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, his eyes skirting everywhere to avoid her harsh gaze. He clasped his hands behind his back. “Nope. No idea.” He swayed from foot to foot gently, trying to act natural.

“Really?” She whipped out her cell phone. “This is the text I got from Lina’s teacher. ‘I see Thor is back. He showed up to pick Lina up. He had the whole Avenger’s crew with him, all ready for battle. It seemed a bit odd but he had Lina’s pick up pass so we let her go. It was strange so I wanted to send you a text just to let you know.’”

He mentally cursed himself. He thought as long as he had the pass saying he was there to pick up Olina that everything would go smoothly.

“Not to mention,” his wife continued, her voice starting to rise. “The texts I was getting from some of the other parents. So, I’m going to ask again. Why were you, Anthony, Clinton, Steven, James, and Samuel all picking Olina up from school? All wearing your battle gear?”

She was addressing everyone by their full names. She was not happy.

“I can explain,” he started, trying to think of something that wouldn’t make his wife explode at him.

“If you’re about to tell me that you did that to try and intimidate whatever poor little boy that likes Lina you are sleeping on the couch for the next week.”

“Well-“

“Thor Odinson! I cannot believe you!” He was in deep trouble now. “She’s a child, Thor! It’s just a little crush! And then to get practically the whole team involved in this?”

“My darling,” he pleaded, rushing to her side. “The others…well they should know what’s going on in Olina’s life, right? They just wanted to help.”

“Uh, huh.” She walked away from him. “Is there a reason Natasha and Bruce weren’t there as well? Could it be because they’re the only rational ones out of the group? They would have told you just how stupid you were being?”

That was exactly why they were not part of his group chat, but he wasn’t about to admit that to her. “My queen. My beautiful beautiful queen. I just wanted to-“

“What? Intimidate a child?” When she said it like that, it did sound rather extreme. “Thor...” Her voice finally dropped. She just sounded tired now.

“I’m sorry.” He grabbed her hand, bringing it up to his mouth and kissing her palm. “I didn’t mean to make you so upset, my queen.” He kissed her palm again and she started to relax and melt. “Truly.” He pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. “Just the thought of Olina growing up so quickly… I miss her being small.”

She responded by wrapping her own arms around his neck, kissing his cheek tenderly. “I know. I do too. I miss those days so much. But she’s growing up and we can’t stop that. She’s going to grow up and there’s going to be lots of boys and girls that have crushes on her. Same with Arik. That’s how life works.”

She had a point that he was reluctant to admit. Instead, he just rested his cheek against the top of her head. He loved his wife so much. He was so thankful to have her. She made him a better man, husband, father. “I don’t know what I would do without you, my queen,” he whispered to her. “You are right as always. I acted irrationally and I am sorry. But Lina did like being picked up by all of us. She was very happy and surprised.”

“Be that as it may, you still caused a scene. The whole lot of you did.” She pulled away to meet his eyes. “I know you all love her and are protective of her, but this is not the way to go about it. Promise me that if you’re concerned about something, you’ll come talk to me about it first before you assemble the Avengers?”

“I promise,” he said and kissed her. He enjoyed this soft, simple moment with her. Holding her hips and kissing her with all the love he could muster. What he wouldn’t do for her and his family.

She was the one to slowly pull away, her lips a bit rosy. She smiled, and gently traced her fingers around his cheek. “I love you. And you’re still sleeping on the couch.”

Tags: @lancsnerd @xxloki81xx @dsakita