#once the money’s divided up there won’t be much left & she’s too afraid to change her will bc she thinks her shitty step children

[sasa-gay-yo]

Just Us (Chapter 17: I Love You)

← Chapter Sixteen 

Warning: NSFW CONTEND AHEAD. MINORS DNI!

For my protection. That was his reason. The government had started following the Scouts extensively after the mission to reclaim Wall Maria. Soon after, they were only following Levi around, trying to find any way to purge him out of the government. He didn’t want me to get caught up in his mess, and he knew I would fight for him if I did, so he thought the only way was to leave me. He thought the only way was to hurt me so I wouldn’t come back because that’s how it used to work for him. Break their hearts and they’ll leave you alone. He also showed me a letter Jonas had written him a few weeks after their return. That coupled with the journal he read over and over was the tipping point for him. It would be better if I wasn’t around him, but he knew that the only way to make it possible for both of us was to build a barrier that we didn’t dare cross. 

Levi, 

She’s suffering because of you. Every day, I see her smile fade, looking out at the table you used to sit at. She cries at night when she thinks I don’t hear. She cried the other day, drunk on wine, thinking about what she had done wrong to make you act this way towards her. You need to let her go. If you aren’t going to come anymore, make it clear so she doesn’t have sickening hope to keep her going. She won’t keep going. She’s fallen in love with someone like you before, and even then she almost killed herself before she was let go. Let her go now. It’s the safest way. I’ll care for her. I’ll convince her. I’ll make her happy where you couldn’t. Just leave her to me and let her go. 

Jonas 

Yet, even with these excuses, the letter, and the journal, he apologized over and over again. Sometimes on his knees in front of me. Sometimes without words. At night, he would hold me now, having read about how many sleepless I had without him; lonely nights he caused. It seemed that two things had changed as a result of our “hiatus”. One, being Levi recognizing what was love and affection, and how he, indeed, needed it to survive now. He wasn’t afraid anymore, and behind closed doors was bold. He even stopped asking to do something, his timid self leaving and replaced with a more confident lover. Second, after the court hearing, he truly realized that I could take care of myself. Right there and then, facing death with one slip up, I was able to save him as well as the Scouts' reputation. It was this one strong act of loyalty that was enough to tip him over the edge. Levi was now completely mine. This was evident. There was to be no tip-toeing. There was no time to tip-toe anymore. We were to love and love vividly as neither of us had ever before. 

Still, my emotions were left untouched. While he was busy begging for forgiveness, the feelings I had in that year-and-a-half of isolation were pushed back in my mind. I didn’t want to ruin the time we had with what I deemed to be trivial. I didn’t want to remind him once again of the loneliness and desperation he left me with. The self-doubt. The self hated. All of these things. I left it for another day. Another time. And soon enough, it would eat away at me. In the near future, he would do it again. That was my resolve. He would do it again, leaving me alone with only my thoughts and a shirt of his, and these feelings would creep up inside of me.

I decided to wait until that happened. If it happened again, I would tell him what I was feeling. I wouldn’t let his apologizes and touches and kisses silence my wavering feelings of abandonment. I would tell myself that over and over again. I would tell him, yes. I would. I have to… but then his smile, vibrant and whole, would make me forget. Momentarily. His devotion. His touch. Love would come in place of abandonment. 

Sometimes it would scare me. I would wake in the middle of the night in his arms, his eyes staring down at me as he had yet to fall asleep, and I would feel this overwhelming sensation. I’d never felt this before. Not with any other man I’d been with. I thought I knew what love was until Levi and I started again. This was love. This was devotion. Willing to sacrifice ourselves for the other. The court case had made that clear. Still, it was scary to be this for another person. Those nights, I would tear up, remembering the lonely months previous, and he would brush my hair out of my face, holding me to his chest and humming me to sleep. How long until I lose him again? Was this overwhelming feeling in my chest only because I knew he would leave soon? Levi would never be permanently by my side. How can I keep loving someone like him this much without hurting myself? 

Levi was scared too, but for a different reason. He was scared of death. This was the demon that would always chase him. At night, when he found sleep, he would still jerk awake, sometimes sweat covered and tears falling down his cheeks. I would rub his back and sometimes get out of bed with him to talk it over a cup of peppermint tea. There was no hiding what he saw when his eyes were closed anymore. He would see me die. Isabel and Furlan. Erwin. Hange. His cadets. I realized during those nights how broken he truly was. How scared he was to love because of death, just as I was of abandonment. I’d reassure him over and over, rain hitting the windowpane above, but still, he would have this doubt in the back of his mind. Life made this doubt, and nothing was going to move it. I’d just reassure him enough to coax him back into bed and hopefully catch the last bits of sleep. 

Like Erwin had promised, Levi was given the month off. Which quickly turned into two at Levi’s harsh request and a nice letter I wrote to Erwin, attached to a box of freshly made cookies. How did Erwin expect for us to catch up in a month? The first month was for loving. The second was when we would actually talk over things. This was what I had determined. Erwin had sent back the empty box with only one note: Don’t get pregnant. I rolled my eyes at that and threw it into the trash.

“What did he say?” Levi gestured to the paper I’d thrown in the trash and I just shook my head. 

“Nothing important. Just a joke.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me in front of him as he sat down in a wooden chair. His hand let go of mine, moving it to touch my waist lightly. It was night time and the café had been vacant of people for a few hours. It was time to start preparing dough and fruit for the small batch of pastries and bread tomorrow. People were slowly starting to feel the effects of famine. Their stomachs and their wallets. Sadly, the only thing that seemed to keep me going was the reward Erwin had promised. With his money in my pouch, I went about the capital market with Hange, buying supplies I needed. They filled up the cart we had brought with us, but even now, only a month later, they were almost all gone. Reeve’s was suspending orders left and right, and soon they would start firing their workers. I was also getting to a desperate point as well. If people stopped coming into the café, remembering the hours I’d sat in the empty room this past month, I would close down and use the profit money for my own survival.

“What are you thinking about?” I looked down at him again, noticing how the tiny sliver of moonlight through an open crack illuminated his eyes to an almost silver color.

“The future.”

“That’s why I don’t do that,” he quipped back, dropping his hand to lean back in the chair, the front legs lifting up off the floor I’d just cleaned. I frowned and rolled my eyes at him, walking away to check on the rising dough. 

“Yes, we know.” He followed behind, rolling up his sleeves so he could help me. This time, there wasn’t enough dough to divide between the two of us, so he ended up cleaning the two tea cups we were drinking out of. 

“Why think of a future when you’re never guaranteed one?” I slammed the dough on the table, starting to take out my annoyance on it instead of him. 

“Ah, yes, because you’re one to live in the moment, Levi.” He just chuckled and ended up leaning on the sink edge, looking out at the single window that was opened. The moonlight was still reflected in his eyes. 

“You’re from the Underground. You should know why thinking about a future is dangerous.” 

“We aren’t in the Underground anymore, Captain Levi.” He frowned and I moved on to portion the dough.

“Stop saying my name like that,” he groaned out, turning his head to the side and looking at me out of the corner of his eye. He was more accustomed to his nickname now. Just Lev. When I said his full name or title, he knew I was mad or annoyed at him or something. 

“Thinking about the future gives me hope,” I used a knife to cut out four pieces of dough,  “It makes you want to live.” He held up his hands. 

“No one said I didn’t want to live.” I cut the next piece of dough rather harshly, making the knife slam against the cutting board.

“You’re content with dying.” 

“I’ve made peace with the idea, yes.” I grasped a small piece of dough that I’d just cut when hearing those words. Now I was angry. There was no drive in his voice. Made peace with dying? That just wasn’t acceptable. I threw the piece of dough at him and he just stood there, taking my assault. 

“Think about a future and then maybe you won’t be so content with dying, Levi.” He wiped off the leftover flour from his shirt, his expression unchanging. 

“Then what is your future? If you’re so adamant about it.” His voice had a hint of annoyance in it, trying to hold back from yelling at me for ruining his fresh shirt. This made me freeze up a bit. My mind went straight to one thing. One thing I know Levi has personally said wouldn’t happen. One thing I know that Levi could care less about. One thing he didn’t want. Therefore, I shook my head. 

“None of your business.” He turned to face my body, keeping one hand on the counter and the other on his hip. 

“You can’t just lecture me about this and then refuse to tell me.” This is when I realized the weight of his words before. Why would you think of a future when you know it won’t happen? I knew this future wouldn’t happen, and here I was mourning it. Fuck. He got me, and he knew he did. 

“No, I don’t have to tell you. It’s my future.”

“But I’m in it, aren’t I?” I dropped my hands, taking a deep breath in, “That’s why you’re so upset right now.”  I hung my head this time. Not wanting to feel tears welling in the corner of my eyes. I haven’t felt them for a month now, and they were starting to feel unwelcomed. How dare I feel sad at a time like this? I can’t feel sad when time is fleeting. 

“You’re in a lot of people's futures, Levi. Not just mine.” It was low, and he could tell by how my voice trembled that I was about to cry, but he wanted me to face his harsh reality. He wanted me to know the reality of the world. I couldn’t be optimistic about the future. No one in our world could be. I would just be disappointed. At least that’s what I thought. 

“Tell me then. What’s in our future?” I shook my head again, this time turning away from him and using one hand to wipe away the stray tears. 

“Tell me.” I kept my hand hovering over my mouth, hoping that if I started crying loudly, I’d be able to muffle them with it. 

“There are no titans. You and I, we run this cafe. We’re married and there are two little kids running around, knocking over empty chairs while people come in and out, smiling down at them. A boy and girl. The boy has black hair, the girl brown. Both have silver-grey eyes. You yell at the children, telling them to stop playing around. They apologize, looking up at you with your matching eyes, then back at me, waiting for me to soften your annoyance at them; releasing them to run around again as you groan because of my acceptance of their rowdiness… but then you look at the two of them and smile softly before being swept up in an order.” There was silence again, but this time it was dense. I had to put my hand over my mouth, muffling whatever whines were coming out of it. His silence was telling. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want it. I was the only one dreaming of these things at night, falling asleep in his arms. 

A hand landed on my shoulder, squeezing once, before drawing me into him from behind, completely enveloped with his chin resting on top of my head. He still didn’t say anything. He just tried to comfort me while I was mourning something I knew wouldn’t happen. He didn’t have to tell me. I knew. I knew. 

“I’ll try my best to give you what you want, but some of it is unattainable, Eva.” 

“What is?” He felt him swallow hard and his arms tightened around me. He wanted me to know that he was still here, even if the future he wasn’t going to be. He wasn’t going to try to promise me anything he couldn’t keep. 

“I’ll try my best.” That was his way of saying that none of it was going to happen. Sometime during my cries, he turned me around to settle into his chest. At this point, I wasn’t mad at him. I was just sad. Sad because I wouldn’t get to have what I wanted. Not with him. Jonas was right. At some point, I would have to sacrifice if I wanted to be with Levi. Erwin had told me that too. I just didn’t know at that point, almost three years ago, what the sacrifice was going to be. My sanity. My emotional clarity. A husband. Children. I was just going to be the woman who owns a cafe. I even have to sacrifice the public’s knowledge of my own relationship. I’d sacrifice it for someone who wasn’t at my side for most of the year. 

That was the scary part. The one that I’d think of over and over again at night. The scariest part was that deep down inside, I was ready to sacrifice it all for him. I loved him. Yet, he’d never said it back to me. Did Levi feel guilty for not being able to give me what I wanted or was this a struggle I’d have to get through alone? And I’d get through it alone… for him. 

That night, his grasp was a little tighter than before. He was still trying to make up for earlier. He was trying to show me what his feelings were, but he couldn’t say them out loud. That would be the nail in his coffin. That’s what still made me doubt. I’d look him in the eyes and just chant over and over tell me you love me. If he just said those three words, then I think everything would be all right. He’ll try his best. What did that mean? What was his best? At his best, was he still not able to say he loved me? 

The next few days, he would be closer to me when he could. He would hold me tighter when he could. He was trying to tell me that he was here in the present. He wasn’t going to leave right now. He was trying to compensate for the future he was convinced he couldn’t give me. He couldn’t give me kids and he couldn’t make me his wife, but he could try his best. Those words were a sting to my heart every time I heard it. His best would be leaving me at the end of every upcoming month to go out and try to kill titans while trying to not get killed himself. 

The next week, when he showed up from his weekly visit to the Scout HQ, rose balm in hand, everything in the past week seemed to be forgotten. The future, along with the emotions I had yet to tell him about, sat in the back of my mind. He bandaged my hands for me, applying the balm in a meticulous fashion, hoping that this time he would be able to get a big supply of it before he went on his expedition. 

“Erwin had gone to the capital a few days ago and Premier Zachary asked about you,” he informed me as he started with my right hand. I pulled a disgusted face and this made him glow with some semblance of happiness. 

“What did he say?” 

“According to Erwin’s short summary, he wanted to know more about you currently. Where you live, what you do. Things like that. I wouldn’t be surprised if he sent someone here to find you out.” I could hear the anger rise in his voice as he applied the balm. 

“Is that why you haven’t been coming downstairs recently? In case they see you.” He nodded. 

“It would get both of us in trouble if they started to suspect something. I don’t care at this point, however. Even if they saw us randomly meet each other in the marketplace, they would report it as a relationship. While the people who wanted to persecute me would see it as more evidence, the rat-bearded bastard Zachary is only interested in finding about more about his prey.” I swallowed at the word prey and Levi noticed that he didn’t tone down his wording like normal. Around me, he tried to be more gentle with his words, substituting curses for other things, but other times it slipped out. According to Hange, Levi had quite a vocabulary and he wasn’t afraid to yell at the cadets with it. 

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just sa-” 

“I know, Lev. I just have to be smart and reject any advances in a way that doesn’t make him upset. He is your highest up boss anyways.” He slipped back into a smile and nodded at my words. 

“So smart,” he mumbled and his praise made my stomach fill with a few butterflies. Levi doesn’t praise anyone. I found that out by being stuck in the Scout HQ for a day. I assisted Hange and snuck around out of sight, but I was still able to observe the way he trained with the cadets. Once when a cadet performed a near perfect maneuver, cutting through three titan dummies at a high-speed pace, all Levi could say to her was “If you were going so fast, why didn’t you get a fourth one?” I guess he only had a little bit of praise in his body and it was all reserved for me. 

“The Garrison members stopped playing cards last week, so I guess we can take that as notice the news of the trial has spread to Trost.” He tucked the very end of the wrap underneath another, taking a piece of medical tape and securing it tight. I told him that since today was my day off, he didn’t need to wrap my hands, but he acted like it was another one of his duties. Everyday before I start work, he would sit me down, sometimes in a sleepy silence, and wrap my hands. Other times, he would pull me upstairs after lunch rush to take the dirty wraps off and replace them, asking about work or some random thing he thought about while doing leftover paperwork in the office upstairs. While Erwin gave him the month off physically, he still had mountains of paperwork that he brought back from his weekly meetings. Times like right now, he would use wrapping my hands as a distraction from the mountain of papers growing. The two weeks leading up to the expedition were going to be the busiest, so much so that he couldn’t go to bed the same time as me and I’d wait up for him, reading a book. Most of the time, though, he would have to wake me up and move from his spot on the bed since I was sprawled over the whole thing. 

“I’ve finally got the paperwork for it, so I’d assume so. I had to literally confirm every scar that you and Hange wrote down, so thanks for that.” He turned back to the desk and I leaned forward to look at the paper, an empty diagram of a body drawn on it. 

“I can help you if you want.” He raised an eyebrow, looking out of the corner of his eye. 

“Is this just another excuse to get me undressed?” I gave him the same type of look. 

“Hypothetically, if it was, would it work?” He gave me one smirk before shedding off his shirt. Even if I’d seen this many, many times in the past two months, it never lost its effect. Levi’s clothes hide years of fighting, ODM usage, and overall hard labor and work. Of course he was going to have every possible muscle defined. His shoulders were my favorite. Broad. Easy to rest my head on.

“Here,” he handed me the paper and a pen freshly dipped in ink, “starts drawing and labeling. Don’t miss one or we’re fucked.” I started with the scar near his collarbone. 

“I don’t know. Prison can’t be that bad. You could beat all of them up and become king.” He rolled his eyes, sitting back on the chair so I could get a full view. 

“I think the last place I want to be is in a military prison. They’ll just lock me up in a single cell for the rest of my life. I’d break out though. Shitty guards.” 

“A fugitive then. I’d hide you.” He smirked and huffed once in laughter. 

“If we mess this paper up, we’re both going to become political fugitives. Where should we escape to?” I turned his head so I could get the side of a small scar under his jawline. 

“A cabin somewhere. Maybe by Utopia District. No one likes to go all the way up there… I hate to ask you this, but do you think they want me to write down all of your scars?” He raised his eyebrow in confusion and I turned the paper to him, pen pointing to the legs. 

“Oh, uh. Just to be safe?” He stood up, looking down at me, and took his pants off in one swift movement, folding them to put on top of the desk. Now, he was just sitting down in a pair of linen shorts. He pushed them up too, pointing out some scars on his inner thighs. 

“How did you get these? I don’t see you wear shorts.” I poked a scar on his inner thigh and he squirmed when I did that. Was there a certain tension building in the room? Yes, but I chose to be naïve to it.

“Knives can cut through fabric. Most of the ones on my legs are from the Underground. Others are from cutting through trees with ODM too fast. I had to get used to branches since there aren’t trees in the Underground.” I nodded, staring intently at the scars of his legs, and I could hear him cough once before turning his head to the side. We stayed in this position before I told him to sit backwards on the chair so I could get the marks on his back, flipping the page. It didn’t get past me how uncomfortable he looked trying to get settled with his front pressed up against the back of the chair. There was something in the way. This made me smirk and I reached out to touch his back, tracing some of the larger scars.

“This one is from a titan?” I remembered clearly one in the center of his back was marked by medical tape from Hange. I traced down it, seeing his fists grab the top of the chair slightly, making sure he knew which one I was talking about. 

“I was saving a cadet and got caught on its front tooth. Had to shove a sword in it’s ugly-ass mouth so it would let me go.” I hummed, acknowledging his story and moving on. Again, his back was as marvelous to look at as his front. Here, one could clearly see the muscles he had from carrying the ODM gear and wielding the dual swords. I remembered back to the first time he’d exposed himself like this when I took the bandages off for him. Back then, I don’t think I was in a state of mind to notice all the scars he had on his back. I was unconsciously tracing them as I drew and labeled on the official paperwork. 

“What’s this one? I don’t know it.” I traced again, a small circle near the edge of his linen undergarment. I felt him shiver under my touch and he looked over his shoulder at me, jaw a little tight. 

“Bullet wound.” It was short and I could hear the strain in his voice. When he turned back to face the wall, I let my smirk come out. If I stopped now, would he be able to turn back around in confidence? With this, I just leaned forward, pressing my cheek into his upper shoulder blade, feeling how warm his skin had become. 

“Finished?” He asked, and I just nodded into his skin. 

“You have so many.” He snorted. 

“I was born fighting. Plus, I have to always save these cadets’ asses on the field. It’s only natural.” He didn’t turn around, just crossing his arms and slightly leaning back into me. I closed my eyes, feeling his touch and warmth again. At night, he always sleeps with a shirt on, so I rarely get to feel him like this. 

“It’s only fair you let me see the scars you have.” I opened my eyes and looked up at him, his head half-turned to look down at me. Something in my stomach stirred when he said that. 

“I don’t have half as many as you. The biggest ones are my hands.” He apparently felt composed enough to turn around, shifting to hide something stirring in his lower half still. 

“Let me rephrase. You made me strip twice, once in front of the entire military brigade of Mitras. It’s only fair.” He gestured his hand forward and it made me snicker. 

“You’ve seen me without a shirt on a few times, Lev.” He opened his mouth to protest, and then closed it again, thinking of a better rebuttal. 

“I haven’t had my hands tracing your back for thirty minutes trying to rile you up.” I rested my head in one hand. So he did notice. 

“What do I get out of this?” He tsk-ed, crossing his arms over his chest again. 

“You always want a reward. Fine, I’ll give you one. Just let me look at your scars first. An equal exchange.” I perked up when he said that, and I could tell he almost laughed at how willingly I took my shirt off, leaving me only in an ivory brassiere and my skirt. Then his hand pointed down as to say ‘that too’. Just like him, I stood up, but I slowly unbuttoned my skirt and let it slide to the floor. Now we were both sitting there, only in our linen undergarments. We’d been here before, really, but only in short, spur-of-the-moment type situations. One moment, my underwear would be off, and then just ask quickly he was putting it back on so as not to expose me so much to himself. He did the same with his linen shorts. This was much more… intense. He took time to sit back, his eyes scanning over every curve of my body. It made me twitch, my foot tapping waiting for him to reach out and touch me like he said he was going to do. 

“You have a considerable amount. I hadn’t noticed before. Turn around.” He made a circle in the air with his finger and I obliged, leaning forward to rest my head on the top of the chair. I heard him move forward too, his breath wafting over my shoulders. This sent shivers down my spine, making me sit up straight. Then, he reached out with one finger, tracing the shallow white lines and indents. With each movement, a jolt was sent down my spine and into my stomach. I had to lower my head to hide my blush and the heavy breathing. He was giving me back what I had done to him. 

“This one?” He traced a medium-sized scar up and down, right below the back of my brasserie. 

“I-I fell out of a tree when I was younger and landed on Jonas’s bicycle.” He hummed and I felt the air that came out of his nose gloss over the right side of my neck. When I turned my head to the right, looking over my shoulder, his face was right there. This made me swallow hard and the butterflies in my stomach started flying around even faster. It was comical how this small touch was making my mind fuzzy. I had seen him bare before. I had touched him. He’d touched me. But nothing like this. 

“And this one?” It was a whisper right in my ear and it made me physically jump. He felt it and I heard a small laugh come from him. The scar he was tracing was in the middle of my back, just like the one he had. His finger was just tracing it up and down, waiting for my answer. 

“The… t-the edge of a… a brick building,” I breathed out, the ending shooting up an octave as his right hand went around my middle, pulling my back right into his chest. His head was resting in the crook of my neck, but he was only looking forward, staring at the same blackboard that I was, filled with possible battle formations and other things he’d written about fieldwork. His other hand, the left, came and squeezed my thigh, slowly tracing again. Up and down. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t feel his newfound arousal pressing into my back. This made me think hard, heart beating fast. While this wasn’t the barest we’ve gotten, this was the most intimate in ways of sexual attraction. Was this going to be the night? 

“All these scars you got before you met me, hm?” He shifted just his eyes to look up at me. I swallowed, not trusting my voice as his hand coasted higher and higher on my thigh.

“E-except my neck.” This time he hummed, and I felt the vibration filter through my back. His hand slowly went from my thigh to my neck, lightly grasping the sides and rubbing that same finger along the thin scar the refugees had given me that day so long ago. The scar itself would be gone in a few years, not being deep in the first place. 

“I wanted to kill them. For some reason. I usually never want to kill humans.” His voice was softer, remembering the same moment I was. 

“I’m glad you didn’t.” His grip on my waist tightened and he pulled me back enough so I was completely resting on him. His skin was still hot to the touch, almost burning. 

“I’ll do anything to protect you, Eva.” I lowered my head, my thoughts instantly going to a week ago. He would do anything but marry and have kids with me. 

“Anything?” I felt him seize up, just a tiny bit, knowing what I was referring to. I had just ruined his nice moment. This is why I’d held back my feelings for a month. Reasons like this. If I had just kept my mouth shut, what would we be doing now? 

“I can’t give you children.” 

“I know.” There was a pause in his heavy breathing. I couldn’t feel it on my neck. I couldn’t feel the in and out of his chest on my back. He was holding something in. He was going to say something that he had to prepare for. 

“But… I’ve thought… over this past week...” He sat up, his head no longer resting in my neck. At this new angle, with me leaning back all the way, he could just simply look down at me. There it was. Disbelief. My eyes widened in disbelief too at the words that exited his mouth. 

“... But I’m not opposed to taking your hand in marriage in the near future.” I sat up right away, looking him right in the eyes. They were as dilated as mine. 

“Really?” 

“Yes, really.” If he had a shirt on, I would have grabbed it to pull him to my lips. This time, I moved forward, my hands flat on his chest pushing him back against the chair. He moaned slightly at my sudden attack on his lips, but these kisses were deep. They weren’t like our various sessions on the couch or deep in the night when we both couldn’t sleep. I wanted to say thank you. Over and over. I wanted to say I love you. Over and over. And he responded, kissing me back with the same passion. 

He pulled me on top of him, my legs hanging off the chair on either side of his. His hands were slowly tracing up my back, leaving what felt like a path of fire with their ascent. I wrapped my arms around his neck, one hand in his hair and the other grabbing at the skin on his back, holding my composure. Usually, at this point, Levi would ask permission for a single thing. The only thing he would do that night. May I take your bra off? May I see you down there? Yet, there was no stopping. His mouth wasn’t pulling back from mine to ask a question, and if anything he was kissing me at a bruising pace. 

When he pulled my hips down on him fully, grinding up into the crevice of my inner thigh, I knew he wasn’t going to stop tonight. I tested it, arching my back into his chest, hoping to connect my core with his own. He whimpered once into my mouth when I did this, and still, he didn’t pull back like he did before. This made my heart burst, and something fueled me to push further. Levi was going to allow it. 

His lips detached from mine, going to my lower jaw, then my neck. With one hand, he moved my head so he had the complete amount of skin to work with. I held him close to me, my eyes fluttering closed as he found that perfect little spot at the base of my neck. 

“Levi,” I moaned, and I felt him smirk into the softness of my skin, not stopping his assault and leaving a small bruise, matching the other ones. Once his hands coasted over my waist, they went back up, stopping at the back of my brasserie, two thumbs slipping under the material to test the waters. I ground down on him again, letting him know that it was okay. His dick twitched up into me, excited by my given consent, and in one swoop he unbuttoned the linen fabric and threw it somewhere across the room. It was going to stay there. 

As soon it was off the heat of my skin contrasted with the cold air of the room, making goosebumps rise all over my skin. I arched my back again, giving Levi a full view of my breasts, which he was obliged to take. He just sat back, like he had when I’d taken my shirt off, and took in my body in front of him. This made my arousal grow, and I knew that at this point he could feel it seeping through the thin fabric of my undergarment onto his. He was just there, staring, not giving me any relief. This time, he wasn’t going to rush through things. One hand went up, his thumb glancing over the peak of my right nipple, making me shiver at the touch. He took that in too. The way my body was so ready to be under his. 

“You’re beautiful,” he mumbled, leaning forward to kiss the valley between both of my breasts, “All mine.” His voice was low and had taken on a new filter that I’d never heard before. His voice was making me drip. 

“Lev, please.” He looked up at me, face between both of my breasts, and slowly brought his other hand up to pinch my left nipple. I squirmed at this, my sense going overboard at just how little he was giving me. I tried to get relief by using his own arousal to rub against mine, but he had shifted back, only allowing me relief on his thigh. I would take it at this point. All of this sexual release had been building up the past month and a half. He would touch me so little, making me orgasm with his fingers or his mouth so quickly, and then move on with the rest of his day. He would never allow me to pleasure him either. It was like he was playing with me this whole time and I wanted it to be over. I wanted him to finally have his way with me the way I knew he wanted to. The way in which his eyes still lingered over my post-orgasm figure, wanting so bad to enter me. 

“Please what, Ev?” He whispered, teasing me completely. His elbows tightened around my sides, practically lifting me off his thigh so I couldn’t move anymore. Until I answered him, I was immobile. I bit my bottom lip, looking up at the ceiling as his thumbs just rolled over both of my nipples in tandem. He would make me sit here like this for hours if I didn’t answer.

“Touch me,” I groaned out, but he didn’t move. I tried to squirm again, motioning to him that I wasn’t having this, but he just chucked. 

“I am touching you, brat.” I outwardly groaned when he said that, letting him know just how dissatisfied I was with this current situation. The slow stimulation of my breasts was driving me crazy, and it was almost worse than this whole month-and-a-half of half-filled orgasms and longing touches. 

“Please fuck me.” This made his elbows go slack, but so did his hands, finding their way to my waist again, holding me there. It felt so demeaning having to ask him like this when he knew for so long that that was exactly what I wanted. Yet, he was still laughing, grabbing my chin so I had to look him right in the eye. He kissed the edge of my mouth, then my cheek, then my jaw, teasing over and over by pushing his thigh up into me at his pace. All I could do was sit there and take it. 

“I’m going to make love to you tonight, Evlynn. I’ll fuck you later.” He picked me up, standing from the chair, and carrying me a few feet into the bedroom. Slowly, he laid me down, coming to hover above me. He kissed me once, then twice, then descended to swirl one of my nipples in his mouth, the other being attended to by his hand. This time, I had nothing to grind into to relieve the aching in my core, and all I could do was rub my thighs together for some relief. He noticed this, and opened them, settling himself in between so I couldn’t rub against anything. 

“Any pleasure you feel tonight is going to be because of me,” he asserted, moving to my other breast. I just moaned under him, wrapping one leg around his hips to pull him closer onto me. His lips moved, kissing down my stomach, hovering over some of the scars he assessed earlier. While he was taking his time, moving so slowly, I had to relieve something, so I grabbed my breasts myself. Rolling them in my hands harshly to feel something other than his teasing, featherlight kisses. 

“Hands up!” He bit into my thigh. I blinked, looking down at him as he was directly between my legs. His eyes were blown out and intense, and he had given me that voice. The one he talks to the cadets in. He was ordering me. With wide, doe-eyes, I did what he said, not daring to go against his orders. 

“Good girl,” he mumbled into my thigh, moving his hands under them to give a better vantage point. Again, he started teasing me. The closest he got to my center was kissing the edge of my undergarment. Above him, I was a whimpering mess, trying to move my body so maybe his lips would slip somewhere else, but he moved his hands up to hold me down into the bed. For a third time, I couldn’t move and I had to take everything he wasn’t giving to me. 

“I want to take you in slowly. I’ve waited so long for this.” Even the breath he let out from that sentence missed my core, giving me no form of relief. I could only grab onto the pillow above me, his pillow, and pray he would give me it soon. I had gotten so accustomed to him just going for it, that now this was torture. He wasn’t giving me his fingers, his mouth; nothing. It had me groaning and whimpering under him louder than ever before. 

“Please, please, please, please.” I got some power and bucked my hips up to his face, which made him smile up at me and run one finger down my slit, feeling the wetness of the cloth covering it. 

“All for me?” I just nodded, my head having been thrown back by that one single touch, “Words.” He lightly slapped my clit, reprimanding me. 

“Ugnh - fuck!” He slowly circled my clit with one finger, waiting for me to answer his question. The way he was commanding me was setting a fire in my stomach and it made me mold to comply. 

“All for you!” I let out in one breath, a loud moan following as it gave my clit a single kiss, the fabric still in between me and his mouth. If he didn’t start soon, this bastard was going to make me cry. My eyes widened then, looking only at the ceiling in realization. He wanted me to beg. He wanted me to use my words. 

“Levi, please take it off.” He looked up at me, only the tip of his tongue circling my clothed clit, motioning to the reason why he hadn’t taken it off yet. My hands were at my sides, clutching the sheets. Slowly, I lifted them up again, crossing them above my head to try and secure them. 

“There we go,” he said, pulling off the only article of clothing left on my body. When he did this, he sat upon the bed, his hands going with him. There he was, looking down at me completely naked before him. His eyes were darkening still as he could see my wetness glisten just for him. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he took one finger, always one finger, and dragged it down my slit collecting the juices that were already there, “My beautiful girl,” he pushed his one finger inside of me, “All laid out for me. Finally.” 

He moved his finger in and out, drawing moans from me. They were loud. They were whimpers. He was finally touching me in the way I wanted. Not fast. Not quick. He added a second finger, which made my back lift off the bed slightly and he moved to push me down with one hand. In and out, in and out, just stretching me. Only when he felt satisfied with how much I drenched his fingers did he move his mouth down. He took no time latching onto my clit, giving it kitten licks at first. As soon as he sucked on the bud once, then he allowed his fingers to curve, hitting the one spongy spot he’d studied the location of. My eyes were blown out, stars dancing in my vision. The way he was working his tongue over the most sensitive part of my body and using his fingers to get me up to my high had me spinning. He’d never used them in tandem. No man had ever used them like this either. I was shaking, my nails digging into my forearms, trying to keep them above my head. I didn’t want it to stop. If I dropped my hands he would no doubt stop. I wanted to drop them and shove his head down on me further. 

“Look at me.” I did, right away. Wasting no time and giving him no excuse to punish me again. I looked as his mouth was completely on my core, eating me like a man who had starved. No, he was a starving man, now getting full off of me. His tongue was giving long, harsh licks to my clit, and now his fingers had moved to a faster pace, hitting my g-spot with every thrust. I chanted his name over and over like a poem. Like one of those hymns, the Order of the Walls would sing on the streets. My song. Levi. Levi. Over and over again. He wouldn’t let me fuck myself on his tongue, one arm completely over my hips, and soon, I felt the knot grow in my lower stomach. 

“I-I’m… close!” I shouted out, and his eyes conveyed complete lust, looking up at me writhing for him to give me what I needed. I needed to cum like this. It was nothing I’d felt before. The knot was so tight in my stomach and I was yelling so loud, the neighbors a building over might come and knock tomorrow morning. 

“Please. Please, can I cum? Please!” His mouth came down once more, harder, sucking only on my clit. All it took was one harsh curve of his fingers coupled with a single, long lick, and I was coming undone on his tongue. This wasn’t like before. My hands came down, grabbing the sheets as I was sent into my high at a crushing pace. His fingers were still going in and out, overstimulating me as I shook from head to toe. The only thing on my tongue was his name. Once I started to jerk away from his fingers, tears welling in my eyes motioning to him that I had come down from my orgasm, he pulled them out, sticking them right in his mouth to clean them. 

“So dirty.” 

He moved back up my body quickly, latching his lips onto mine, giving me a taste of myself. His tongue slipped in too, now not at that slow and deep pace we had before in the office. This time, he was the one being tempted by a release. He ground down on me, my wetness covering his shorts again. This time, he was completely hard and when I put my hand down to rub him, to tease him like he did me, I relished in the fact that he didn’t move my arm away. He let out a grunt in my ear as I finally was able to move my hand inside his undergarments and grab onto his dick, hard and long. I felt it all. The veins, the ridges, just how big he was. Slowly, I jerked him up and down, using my thumb to tease his slit. His jaw tensed when I did this too like he had to hold back to urge to ravish me in the way he told me he wasn’t going to do. 

“Can I take them off?” I asked, and he went to kiss me, this time lighter as he looked directly into my eyes. He reached down and took them off himself, my hand still going up and down his length. Now, we were finally both naked in front of each other. Not just one or the other. I was finally touching him. He was finally letting me see all of him. I looked down, noticing the size and the redness he was displaying. I knew then what I wanted to do, but when I went to slide down to try and give him relief with my mouth, an equal exchange, he held me below him, a harsh grip on my hip. 

“I told you. This is about you.” He reached down and took my hand off of him, lacing our fingers together. The cocky captain that was ordering me while between my legs had left, and I saw the vulnerability in his eyes as he lined up with my entrance. I put my other hand on the back of his neck, encouraging him to push forward. 

“Are you sure you want me to?” He asked, a moment of doubt. He’d never made love to anyone before. 

“I want only you, Levi.” I pulled him down to kiss him, another deep and long kiss, and when he pushed into me completely, we both groaned into the kiss. It had been a while since I had sex, and he could tell by the way I winced softly as he pushed back in again. He kissed my forehead, then my cheek, his hand squeezing mine as he slowly started a pace in and out. After two thrusts, he hit the spot inside of me that sent my body reacting up into his. I was no longer in pain, and both of us were wrapped in pleasure. He angled his hips up expertly so he would hit my g-spot with every thrust, and soon his head was buried in my neck, whispering praise. 

“You feel so good. You’re so good. Mine. All mine. So beautiful, taking me like this. Perfect.” I threw my head back again, and he took my other hand which was digging into his back, putting it above my head. He used one hand to hold them up there, and the other to squeeze the sides of my neck, cutting off my air. This sent shockwaves to my core and my head. 

“Oh my, yes! Yes, yes, yes. Levi!” 

“Ugh, so fucking gorgeous with the moonlight on you. Fuck, you were made for me. Look how well you’re taking me. Pussy sent from above. Just for me.” His praises made me pant and cry with every thrust, making my body set on fire once again. The knot was ever-so tighter with him pounding into me, losing whatever slow self-control he had earlier. We were both chasing our highs for our first time together. I looked into his eyes, the moonlight shining into the grey, making them seem so bright. So open. He’s going to marry me. That’s the thought that was running through my head. This man. This handsome, gorgeous man was going to be mine. This man, who was whispering sweet nothings in my ear making me feel like some goddess, was going to be mine. 

“Oh my god, fuck!” He grunted loudly in my ear as his hips snapped harshly into mine. 

“I’m going to… I’m-” He took the hand off my neck, reaching down to circle my clit. 

“Me, too,” he breathed out. So close. So close. 

“Levi!” I called out, as he pinched my clit ever-so-lightly, sending me right into my high. This time, I couldn’t control how my body was moving below him, my second orgasm taking complete control of me. He was still pushing in and out, having to use the hand that was on my clit to hold my hips down. 

“Fuck, Eva. God, I’m going to…” He whined loudly in his ear, the overstimulation hitting me again, and this seemed to be what sent him over. Pulling out quickly, he came on my stomach, head thrown back in pleasure as his hand milked everything out of him. So much came out, painting my stomach in white. I was breathing too hard, trying to recover, to care. He still had his head buried in my neck, and I realized what he was whispering, caught up by the pleasure his orgasm had brought him. 

“I love you so much, fuck. Eva. Love you. So much. So perfect. Evlynn. God. What did you do to me?” This made me breathe harder, eyes watering finally hearing him say those words to me. I didn’t even move when he got up, turning the oil lamp in the bathroom up to go get a towel.

He finally said it. 

His feet padded against the ground, and I sat up on my elbows, looking at him standing in the door, one arm gripping the side frame. His eyes were still ever intense, looking at me down on the bed, towel in hand. My legs were still shaking, and the look he was giving me wasn’t helping. My chest was moving up and down now, but not because of the activity previous. To break the tension, he just smiled, coming over on the bed to wipe me off, folding the towel, his towel, and putting in on the top of the dresser to clean later. He grabbed the blankets, opening them to crawl underneath and pull me with him. I was lying completely on top of him and he had one hand rubbing my back, the other playing with my hair. It had been five minutes and we still hadn’t said a word to each other. 

“I love you,” he whispered into my hair, and I smiled, snuggling into him more. A few tears came to my eyes too, just like when he said he was going to marry me. 

“I love you, too.” He sighed and pulled me up higher so my head was in his neck this time. He pulled the blanket up higher so that I was covered up to my neck. 

“No one’s ever told me that before.” I gripped him tighter, sitting up so that I was looking down into his eyes. There it was again. Disbelief. Fear. I needed to get rid of that. 

“I love you, Levi.” He just nodded, smiling slightly up at me. 

-

“Oh god, fuck!” I yelled into the pillow, his hand pushing my head down into the mattress as he pounded into me from behind. I had to turn my head to the side so I could breathe with the force he was using. I knew I was going to have bruises on my legs from earlier in the night, but now that was going to be mixed with handprints as he found out quickly how nice my ass bounced when he slapped it. 

“Levi!” I called out at one aggressive thrust, hitting the spot I desperately wanted him to hit. He was being mean to me this morning, saying how I was so rude going to leave him in bed alone to go down to work after he’d just made love to me. He also said he promised to fuck me after. So here we were. Now, I was going to be late. At least there weren’t any customers who came in this early anymore. They would be hearing my moans loud and clear through the floorboards.

“That’s not my name, brat.” He took his hand off the bed frame and pulled me up by my hair, my body now flush against his chest. I let out another moan as this position made it so easy for his dick to angle up and give me the high I wanted. Another hash slap to my bottom told me he wanted me to correct myself. 

“Captain!” I yelled out, and this satisfied him, shoving me back down and starting at a relentless pace that made me and the bed move forward. I grabbed at anything to keep me stationary, and my moans were beginning to sound dumb, mixed with the saliva coming out of my mouth. I couldn’t catch my breath as he hit against my cervix with every thrust. 

“C-Captain! I’m c… coming!” He sped up, trying to fuck me through my climax, only to reach his own, pulling out to spread his seed over my bottom. After he was done, signaled by him going to get the towel he had folded up last night, I collapsed down onto the bed, stomach first. My knees were in pain from being in that position for so long, him using his dick to tease me into oblivion and submission.

“My legs…” I groaned to him as he cleaned me off and he just gave one masochistic chuckle, throwing the towel into the dirty clothes bin. 

“Should I sneak down and put a sign on the door that you won’t be open today?” I rolled over, now on my back, looking up at him, still bare, but one hand on his hip. He seemed completely unaffected by what he just did to me, other than being extra sweaty. I narrowed my eyes at him, not liking this sudden cockiness.

“Should I tell Hange you like to be called Captain in bed?” I smirked up at him and his smile dropped. He was now glaring at me, but the blush in his cheeks didn’t slide past me one bit. If I could sit up without hurting my guts, I would poke his cheek. 

“G-Get the fuck up… you brat. How can you have such a bad work ethic? Sleeping in for so long!” He grabbed a fresh pair of linen pants, sliding them on quickly, and walking out of the room to get away from me. 

“I love you!” I called out to him. 

“Thanks!”

Chapter Eighteen →

Chapter Masterlist

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 3

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Chapter 3 - Mortuary

There were always one or two friends in your life who you're never afraid will scold you or hang up on you in the early morning hours, even if the reason is because you had a nightmare about potatoes in your home growing lots of hair. Yin Zhou was this person to Lin Yan. He had two long strands of messy hair on his head, always wore unwashed shirts, and the eyes under his glasses could never focus because of how long he had spent gaming.

They grew up in the same neighbourhood, attended the same elementary school, middle school and high school, and they were each that "brilliant other child" in the eyes of both their parents. Since childhood, Lin Yan, regardless of how hard he worked, achieved the high grades that Yin Zhou could have achieved if he didn't skip class every day. No matter how good his grades were, his parents would praise Lin Yan for his diligent and hard work. After the college entrance exam, the two drank a glass of wine as a farewell and celebrated them parting ways. Unexpectedly, Yin Zhou missed half a page of questions while writing the math papers, but he still went to the same university as Lin Yan, so almost two. So the friendship continued with the constant cycle of loving and hating each other.

Later, they were divided by their majors. Yin Zhou studied electronics and Lin Yan studied history. From then on, there was little crossover with the two majors. Without the pressure of competition, the two of them became much closer, playing games, flirting with girls, talking about politics; there was no end to their activities.

The 'regular place' referred to the bar.

When Lin Yan walked in, he saw Yin Zhou shooting his shot with a girl at the bar unsuccessfully. Lin Yan called his name several times before he turned around. Yin Zhou opened a bottle of beer and his eyes widened: " Yo, you weren't responding to any of my calls or texts. Were you on a date?"

Lin Yan drank half the bottle in single breath, and said calmly, "I've got lost and was going around in circles."

"Got lost?!" Yin Zhou stared at him for a long time. Seeing that Lin Yan wasn't joking, he couldn't help but smile and said, "Are you feeling alright? If you're feeling sick, let this brother take you to the hospital."

Lin Yan was in a weird mood because of all the strange events that had happened. Now, his voice wasn't very strong either. He simply put down the beer bottle, put his hands on the table, raised his voice and shouted into Yin Zhou's ears: "I! Saw! A! Ghost!!"

His voice was so loud that most of the people at the bar heard him. They turned to look at him like he was crazy.

Yin Zhou hid his face behind his hand and muttered about how embarrassing it was. After thinking about it, he raised his head and said with a dazed expression: "Was it a female ghost? Was it pretty?"

Lin Yan was at a loss for words and the muscles on his face twitched.

Then Lin Yan explained all the night's occurrences to Yin Zhou in extreme detail, but he started regretting it halfway through. Yin Zhou obviously was eating it up, and a pair of unfocused eyes were shining with an excitement that couldn't be matched in ten thousand years. He rubbed his hands together and stammered when he heard the section of the figure under the street light: "This is too unscientific, or maybe it's too scientific. I'll apply to use one of the labs tomorrow, maybe I can figure this out!"

Lin Yan wanted to smash the beer bottle on his head.

"You seem busy, I'll head out first."

Yin Zhou caught him before he walked away and scratched his head: "Alright, alright. I'm just kidding. Have a drink first and we can go back to my place afterwards."

"Let's be optimistic. If that thing is a guy, then you've got to get rid of him immediately. If it's a woman, then she should definitely get down on her knees to see what is under your jeans."

Lin Yan was actually very grateful to him when he drove Yin Zhou all the way to his house. He thought that unreliable people would have unreliable benefits. No matter how weird things were, he would really listen to them, but he immediately regretted it once they reached his apartment. The reason was simple: Yin Zhou's room was dirty and no living person would ever be found in this room.

The sight that Lin Yan was faced with when he stepped in the door made him scream inside. It's better to go home and be scared to death by ghosts. God only knows how he lives like this. It was a 10-square metre rental with rubbish and clothes littering the floor. There were mountains of instant noodle boxes on the table. Some of them were being used as ashtrays and there were cigarette butts floating in the murky soup. He had no idea how long they were left there, but they were exuded a rancid smell.

The laptop was thrown on the bed, and there was a line of characters moving across the screen. Yin Zhou rushed to take a look, and groaned: "It's been going on repeatedly. The program has to be changed." After he was done talking, he didn't pay any more attention to Lin Yan. He leaned against the headboard, flipping through his notebook and clicked to stop debugging, tapping on his keyboard with his long fingers.

"There is food in the cupboard. If you get hungry, grab something to eat."

Lin Yan opened the cabinet and inspected Yin Zhou’s selection. Various brands of instant noodles, rice vermicelli, pickled mustard greens, a large number of ham sausages that were about to expire. . . If this guy croaks one day, the number of preservatives in him would help him survive for at least thirty more years. If ancient people had eaten things like this, it could've saved conservation historians so much time.

"Do you have any clean clothes? Mine are soaked from the rain. Could you lend me some dry clothes first."

"There's some on the ground. Grab those."

After feeling Lin Yan's murderous glare, Yin Zhou reluctantly got up and slowly opened the wicker basket at the foot of his bed: "Yes, yes, my mother comes to wash my clothes once a week, and the clean ones are here."

After speaking, he threw him a graphic t-shirt.

"You earn so much from your projects yet you live in such a shabby place. You don't even own a washing machine, and that quality of life is catching up with you. Aren't you afraid that your arrogant old man won't give you money to marry a wife in the future? Lin Yan took off his shirt, stretched the t-shirt over his head and put it on. With the shirt over his head, he asked in a muffled voice: "Help me find a pair of pants."

Yin Zhou threw his hands up and said with disdain: "You're being so picky. A person uses so much stuff when they are alive but when they're dead, they only need a coffin. Why are you being so particular about this?" After finishing speaking, Yu Guang looked at Lin Yan with a smirk. : "Xiao Linzi's figure is good, the fitness card is not for nothing."

He glanced at Lin Yan with his peripheral vision and gave a sly smirk: "Little Brother Lin is in good shape, your gym membership wasn't bought in vain."

"Don't you dare call me Little Brother Lin, I'll show you want a real man is!" Lin Yan picked up the electric kettle that was thrown by the bed, wiped off the ashes, and smacked his lips.

Lin Yan picked up the electric kettle that was thrown near the bed, wiped off a handful of cigarette ashes, and smacked his lips.

"Disgusting."

Yin Zhou ignored him and spoke to himself as he flipped through his suitcase. "I remember I had a pair of new jeans, where are they going. . . Huh? What's this? Did my mother leave her clothes in here?"

This was. . .

The body was made of red satin, black lining, with loose sleeves that hung down, and there was heavy embroidery around the wrists. Yin Zhou shook it out curiously. Just as he was about to hold it up to compare it to his body, Lin Yan cried out: "Put that down, don't touch it!"

Looking at Lin Yan's pale face, Yin Zhou also noticed that something was wrong, so he threw the red clothes on the bed.

"These are mortuary clothes. It's for the dead." Lin Yan said weakly.

Yin Zhou's face also changed.

"This thing doesn't belong here."

Yin Zhou looked around his room, as if to relieve the nervous atmosphere, he laughed twice: "Is it wrong? How about I call my mother and ask if she left it."

Yin Zhou looked around his room. Trying to break the tense atmosphere, he laughed twice: "Was this a mistake? How about I call my mother and ask if she put it in here?"

Lin Yan looked at the clothes and said dejectedly: "No need, I believe you."

He was getting angry, thinking that this thing was trying to provoke him no matter what, and now it was involving his friend. He was clearly trying to get a reaction out of him.

For a while, both of them were speechless. The room was silent except for the ticking of the clock on the wall.

Under the light of the bright light, the red clothes were laid straight out on the bed like paper. Despite its bright colour, it was gloomy and had a terrifying appearance. The ancient style and the luxurious fabrics exuded such a cold atmosphere that it was like the sun had never touched it.

Ten minutes later.

Lin Yan picked up the car key on the table. He sighed and said to Yin Zhou: "I'm going back home. This thing is coming after me, staying here will only hurt you."

Yin Zhou spat out: "Don't give me that bullshit. It would be stupid to go back by yourself, just stay here."

What Lin Yan wanted to say was interrupted by Yin Zhou: "We're close enough that you're wearing my pants. Won't I be the one that will have to explain what happened to your parents if there's an accident? Don't mess with me. We'll talk about this in the morning."

After talking, yin Zhou searched under the bed for a while. He found another notebook and handed it to Lin Yan: "Do you think a ghost would be able to scare us to death? Hurry up, let's get some kills on Dota!"

Lin Yan was silent for a while, opened his notebook, and said with a smile: "You asked for it, I won't go easy on you!"

The light flickered and dimmed, and the room became more and more gloomy. Lin Yan knew instinctively that something was staring at him somewhere in the room. Maybe it had a pale face, wrapped in a red mortuary, and said sorrowfully: Your death is approaching.

This must be the weirdest night in his 22 years of life, Lin Yan thought. Once the sky begins to get bright, things will be over by dawn.

The red mortuary was like a long, stiff corpse lying on the bed, the sleeves folded across the front as if to remind him that this was only the beginning.

[lixiefe]

Can’t Touch- k.sm

Chapter Four: Say Yes to the Dress

Words: 1.7k

Warnings: none for now.

YOU WERE zoning out into your daydreams, head rested on your propped up hand, with a mysterious smile adorning your face. You were almost unaware of your ongoing surroundings, and oblivious of the customers hollering for service. Much irritated, your co-worker bluntly yelled at you to continue with your work and flicked you out of your comforting trance, making you frown.

That day, Seungmin didn’t talk to you much but you remembered him asking you what your favorite flower was. his voice exotically melodious. Yet had a lazy hint to it that you swore that you could drift to sleep anytime if he continued talking.

At that moment, you almost forgot which earthen flower you loved, forgot what he’d even asked in the first place. You didn’t know if you wanted to be embarrassed or grateful for your forgetful nature because he had had to repeat it again, in an enhanced voice. You’d answered afterwards that you liked plumeria and orange roses. He asked you several more questions relating to that, which you found sort of uncanny for starters. But you believed he was making an effort to get to know you.

Seungmin had also asked you if you liked bands or rings. You were utterly confused. You were such an illiterate in cases of accessories and it showed. So you had questioned back what a band was, and you saw him break out into the most wondrous eye smile ever. His smile covered his face with the edges of this lips curved up and showcasing commercial-worthy set of teeth. And then you’d answered that you were permissive about either.

And that was enough to keep you thinking all throughout the day.

This was your last part time since you had to go for dress shopping in the evening. The seamstress was outright shocked to hear that you only had about a month time before your marriage. She was flustered over the chances of no fitting, or too much time-consuming extensions, or simply the short preparation time she’d get. So you needed to hurry and choose a dress as soon as possible, even better if it didn’t need extensive add-ons.

Even though this marriage didn’t mean much to you, since it was arranged, you wanted a dream dress. Like every other lucky women out there, or even the women from ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ who settled upon outrageous choices and flung around money like mere printed materials. But you couldn’t afford anything too expensive so you needed lay low.

You also desired that the choosing of wedding venue, decoration and other prerequisite things could favor your preferences and opinion. And that the flowers would be of your liking. But you brushed the uneasiness away.

Now that the realization of current events dawned upon you, it all seemed so much unbelievable, like a temporary dream you’d forget most of. You couldn’t believe you were getting married this early. You had never imagined yourself getting wed to someone in your near future.

--

You were styling yourself to look a tad bit presentable, since it was not only your mother who was going with you but your future mother in law was also tagging along. You felt nervous since you really didn’t want to seem like you opposed her choices if you didn’t like what she did. 

You didn’t know how she'd react, and you dreaded the possibility of your choices clashing against one another. It was your first time not entirely window shopping. Be it alone or be it with another person. She wasn’t categorically a stranger but you didn’t know her well.

As you calculated the endless mental probabilities, you finished with your hair and decided to leave your face alone. You were grateful that your skin was nourished and naturally suave. But that blessing also brought you to taking advantage of it.

 You went downstairs to see your mom drinking a glass of water, already dressed and good to go. “Are we leaving already?” You asked your mother.

 You saw her wear a smile and motion you to come towards her. It had been so long since you've seen your mother be this giddy, and you couldn’t want anything more than that. She wore an almost nude lipstick and even applied a thin coat of eyeliner. She looked beautiful. You couldn't but burst out in a joyous smile. 

“Seonhee has sent a car for us, the chauffeur is waiting outside already. Shall we leave?” she asked, holding your arm. Your smile brightened even more seeing her so excited. You pried her hand off of your arm and secured them into yours, mumbling let's go.

You and your mother met Mrs. Kim on the spot. You eyes glossed with the blinding luxuriant lights and opulent architecture. The building stood there like a modish heraldry, somewhere pageants and off-limit events would be held. You knew you couldn’t even afford a tiny veil from this place for your absent dog and it made you tug your mothers hands back. You looked down at her with widened eyes.

“Mom, I think we're at the wrong place.” You said, much-stilled. Your mother waved her hand in dismissal and dragged you inside, making you flinch at your feet before you were swayed away inside the lush environment. You wondered if she had ulterior planning since both of you knew your financial condition wasn’t stable enough to afford such expenses.

Just as you thought the outside was extravagant, the inside was even more sumptuous and complex. You saw fancy mannequins here and there with profuse and elegant dresses. Of which most probably cost more than your 8 months income combined. To say you were afraid was an understatement, you were terrified on how you could manage to shop for your dress from here.

Cutting your doubtful thoughts Mrs. Kim made her way to you. She briefly greeted you, enclosing you into an embrace. Your mouth opened and closed, unable to greet her back as you gawked at the amenity displayed around you. You only gave her a curt bow, mind still flurrying with the possibility that you would not get your dress.

This is beyond extravagant.

“Mrs. Kim, I don’t think--” you were cut off when the said woman rushed to throw her arms around your mother, before turning back to you with a generous smile. “Don’t worry about the cost at all, Y/N. I will take care of that. I need you to look as stunning as possible.” She said lovingly. And again, you were unable to say anything, you couldn’t form your thoughts into suitable words.

“No, I-I can’t, really-” you couldn’t get the chance to speak out before she shushed you like you were a toddler, refusing to listen to you any further. You had your eyes slightly widened and hands tingling. It was clear that you preferred to be self-sufficient, and it felt as if you were taking in another debt. That too from the same person.

“No buts,” she paused, looking at you in the eye. You saw indescribable emotions in her eyes. Almost as if she was sorrowful, with a little bit of regret. You only looked at her questioningly. “You’re not marrying out of own will, are you? You’re doing this for us, for me. This is the least I can do for you.”

And you reconsidered your decisions. She was right, you were not doing this for yourself, and you were technically forced. Spending money on something that you didn’t originally want, sounded like a proper representation of dictionary waste. But your ego and dignity could not let someone else pay for you. So you looked at her with desperation, refusing her generosity.

She huffed a sigh. You regarded that she’d accepted defeat, which is until she offered you a deal.

“We divide the cost. And if you solely cannot afford it, I pay it whole. I won’t hear any more arguments.”  And with that she walked away inside. You were left dumbfounded, with no chances of protest. You slumped your shoulders, thinking that at the end, it was you who had to accept defeat. You looked at your squealing mother, a small smile thriving at your lips as you followed suit of Mrs. Kim.

It was your 8th dress and you were gradually getting more and more tired. The constant cycle of changing into dresses, sucking in you breath when the consultant attached pins to your back, and then slipping out of it was draining you of all your energy. You looked at yourself in the mirror, admiring how the current dress looked on you. For once in your life, you thought you looked way beyond just nice. You could imagine yourself walking down the aisle wearing exactly that dress.

It had an A-line princess body with an illusion neckline and sheer full sleeves. It enhanced your collarbones and your upper body, showcasing your waist in a voluptuous manner. The dress puffed around the rest of your body with oblique rumples adorning your bottom. The precise net-clothe had ivory silk underneath and you could rest your hands on the inflated part of the dress. It had intricate embroidery of flowers encased in a tangle of vines all over the torso and vanishing progressively down the waist. The dress sparkled in your eyes. It was your dream dress and you hoped your mother and Mrs. Kim wouldn’t criticize it for any faults.

This was your Say Yes To The Dress.

You walked out of the changing room, hoisting the gown of your dress for better movement. And as soon as you turned the corner heading to your mother, you saw her let out a gasp. She looked speechless as her eyes followed you steps. You could see that she was slightly teary, her hand ghosting over her mouth.

“Oh lord! You look absolutely gorgeous, my dear.” Mrs. Kim complimented you, thrilled. You gave her a wide smile as an answer, eyes crinkling in delight as you looked at yourself once more. You were happy that they both liked the dress. Your eyes sparkled and you knew the others could see it too. This was the final dress and there was no changing that.

The consultant went to Mrs. Kim and you saw her negotiating with the middle-aged woman. You wanted to go and hear what the consultant was saying but you were pre-occupied with your rushing mother. Now that you’re focusing on your mother, she was actually crying and wiping her tears with a tissue at the same time. You looked at her contented and happy face, feeling glad yourself.

This marriage wasn’t such a curse after all, since you could see your mother so full of life after such a long time. All the thoughts that bothered you about this marriage dissolved like salt in water, leaving your head empty of any objections. And you anticipated just how happy both the mothers would be on your wedding day. Suddenly, you were excited. Not for yourself, but the others.

Besides, you weren’t at all sour about your awfully handsome to-be-husband.

A/n: i was supposed to upload this along with chapter three long before, but tumblr deleted all the edits i made..

[snowdog49]

Poker Face

Word Count 2255

General Audience

“Why can’t we invite her. That’s not fair.” 

“No, Fuery. We can never invite her.” 

“Why not?” 

Lieutenant Breda and Lieutenant Havoc both looked at each other with a loud gulp. “We don’t,” Havoc reaffirmed. 

“This had been an office tradition for the past two years, and she’s not invited.” Fallman stood up in his seat and walked over to the other three officers. “There’s a heavy price to pay when she’s involved.” 

“It’s a guy thing,” Breda quickly answered a cheap response waving his hand and attempting to dismiss the concern. 

“That’s a bit sexist,” Fuery frowned. “She’s part of the team. It’s not a team poker game without her.” 

The three looked around as if verifying that First Lieutenant Hawkeye was nowhere to be found. The air in the room thickened with tension and mystery as Havoc pulled a seat closer to Fuery. He spun it around so he could lean forward on the back of the chair. Slowly, he pulled out a cigarette, setting it softly between his lips and lighting it, even if Hawkeye had banned smoking from the office. He took in a long inhale from it. Breda brushed off his jacket before leaning on the desk divider. He frowned, looking serious as he stared at Fuery. It looked as if Fuery had asked him for his sandwich; a dangerous warning in his eye. Falman leaned on the wall behind Fuery, crossing his arms and dropping his head. He gave a long sigh, representing more of an old cowboy with too many sad and terrible stories his old eyes had seen. Young Seargent Fuery, who was only first invited to the poker game they joined in every Friday, sat in the middle. He looked around, fearful of the next actions of his co-workers and brothers-in-arms. He felt the weight of a story on his shoulders. 

“This must never be repeated,” Breda warned lowly. 

Falman behind him hummed an agreement. 

“If she ever found out, she’d surely murder all of us,” Breda continued. 

Havoc took another long drag from his cigarette. “This started before your time, Kid.” His voice heavy, a detective telling his story of his greatest case. Though Fuery knew it was not a detective story. It was a legend that the famous Lieutenant Hawkeye had immortalized in the fearful memories of these men. “When we first came together, Colonel was a Lieutenant Colonel at the time. He wanted us to bond.” 

“Get along,” Falman added coldly from behind. “He wanted us to know each other.” 

Havoc nodded. “So, he organized this poker game every Friday night. It wasn’t a big deal. The first night seemed friendly enough. The first game, Hawkeye sat back, drank, and watched us more than anything. She played a couple hands, lost, but didn’t give any indication that she was upset.” 

“It was a ploy,” Falman added again. 

“Her plan all along,” Breda confirmed. 

Fuery looked around, feeling the air around him hard to breathe. “What do you mean?”

“The second Friday came, and we all met up at Colonel’s apartment as usual.” Havoc continued on with the story. “Breda and I bought beer, Mustang had nuts and popcorn, and in comes Lieutenant. But,” he said seriously as he lifted a finger, “she was not the lieutenant that we see here. She wasn’t even the Hawkeye we saw the week before.” Havoc leaned back. “She had on this beautiful red blouse that came low, and this skirt that flowed on her. It was a dark black colored.”

Fuery looked around as he was all three of them nodding. 

“Makeup and the whole shebang,” Breda confirmed. 

“She comes down and sits between Breda and me, looking at the Colonel with this sparkle in her eye.”

“She was eyeing her prey,” Breda grumped.

“Are we sure we’re talking about Lieutenant Hawkeye,” Fuery asked, suspicious the story. 

They all nodded again. 

“Falman delt first. We were playing Southern Hold ‘Em. It was from South City. She calmly looked at her cards and folded the first two hands. Then Colonel delt the cards. She added to the ante, then put down her cards and poured herself a glass of Colonel’s whiskey on the table. Her movements slow, and practiced. The way she brought the glass to her lips-”

“Wait,” Fuery quickly interrupted. “Is this why you all have the hots for her?”

All three of them blushed a bright red. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Havoc deflected. 

Breda quickly shook his head and Falman was stiff as a board against the wall. 

“That’s beside the point,” Breda coughed. “Point is, she had all of our attention on her. Colonel was the only one that was able to look at his cards. It was like he was unfazed.” 

“He did win the first game,” Falman reminded. 

Havoc continued. “So, she sighs and ups her bet. It was like it was too easy for her.” 

“Like she didn’t care.” 

The blonde member nodded to his redheaded friend. “Boom, she won the hand. Then she won the next and the next.” 

“She mastered the bluff,” Falman added. 

“We don’t know to this day if she bluffed or not. We were convinced it was a strategy because she’d win a few, lose one, then fold another.” 

“But Colonel,” Havoc said after he blew the cigarette smoke to the side. “He was just as calm as her.” 

“He was drinking more and more,” Falman reminded. “He would take a sip every time she won.” 

“So he was nervous,” Fuery determined. The youngest member nodded. “She was putting him on edge the most.” 

“I finally got this amazing hand. I remember it was a straight flush.” Breda nodded with a grin. “I thought I had her. She had stolen most of our money by that point and I was determined to walk out winning. She kept putting chips in, and I’d match it. Finally, she broke. She turned her head and stared right at me, like she was telling me to stop. I thought I had her.” 

Falman snorted a laugh from behind. 

“She lays down the same hand! But her’s was one card higher. She beat me just by that much.” 

“She knew,” Havoc grumped, putting his cigarette out on his shoe and flicking it to his desk. 

“I don’t think she did,” Breda argued, glaring back at his friend. “Not by the look she gave me.” 

“She was looking at Colonel a special way,” Falman interrupted them as he rubbed his chin. “The night before, she was watching him too.” 

Fuery crossed his arms and leaned back. “She was watching for his tells,” he muttered. 

“I’m convinced so.” 

“Why Colonel though?” 

Havoc shrugged. “But I will tell you this, Seargent Fuery, she wiped us clean. I mean, nothing left.” 

“I had a chance,” Breda continued to grumble, his fists shaking. “If I wouldn’t have folded… I don’t think she had anything a couple of those times.” 

“She had us scared,” he continued. 

Fuery laughed, leaning back in his chair. “She had you guys strung up! You were too distracted by her to pay seriously.” 

Havoc quickly agreed with a nod. 

“Colonel was the only other one doing okay against her.” 

Havoc nodded again at Falmnan’s remembrance. “But he was joking and smiling…” 

“He was drunk,” Breda confirmed. 

“Or playing drunk. The guy was grinning, playing loosely. He was holding his own against her. I think we all beat her at least once. But I’m convinced she let us win those times.” 

The other two nodded towards Lieutenant Havoc. 

“Once I was out and Breda was out, it was Falman, who seemed to have a fighting chance against Colonel, was left. She folded, leaned back and applied some bright red lipstick.” 

“I could see Colonel’s neck muscles twitch as he wanted to look at her.” 

“Womanizer that he is,” Fuery laughed. 

“You could see Falman stare.” 

“I was not,” he argued quickly. Fuery turned around to see him red in the face again. “I just had never seen that kind of shade on her before! I thought I might… I might like to get some for… my own girlfriend.” 

The other three officers stared at him, clearly not believing him. 

“But,” Havoc nodded with a grin. “I think she knew the only competition that was there was Colonel. She was trying to get his attention away from his cards.” His fingers tapped on the back of the chair. “Then she poured herself some more whiskey, coughed lightly, and folded.” 

“You guys never found her tell?”

All three shook her head. “I was sure I had it,” Falman muttered from the wall. “Then she’d fold. Or I’d think that I’d seen something else and we’d all fold. I couldn’t get a bead on the sharpshooter, she was too good.” 

“Nice pun,” Breda grinned, nodding his acknowledgment to the Warrant officer.  

Jean leaned forward on the chair, resting his head on his hands. “Three in the morning came around and Colonel and Lieutenant were still playing against each other. She was calm and collected, he was drunk, leaning back, and not giving a shit. But he was holding his own. Chips were passed back and forth, and they just played as if we weren’t there. So we all said bye, abandoned our money to them and left.” 

“Colonel won’t talk about it,” Breda chuckled, reaching for his coffee. “I’m pretty sure she swept the floor with him. She bought a new hair clip. I mean, she won.” 

Havoc shrugged. He started to chew on his lip and he looked blankly out the window. 

“So you’re telling me she’s not allowed because of that?” Fuery laughed. “You are afraid of her beating you.” 

“She didn’t just beat us,” Breda cried out. “She destroyed us. She played us like a new piano! And we played harmoniously into her trap!” 

Havoc reached for another smoke. “Colonel was beaten. He is the one that said she wasn’t welcome back. I wouldn’t be surprised it was all for show. She went all in and destroyed him after we left.” 

Falman shook his head in disagreement. “The way he won right before, I’m not sure if he lost or not. I think he knew she was playing dirty and that’s why she’s not welcome back.” 

“She knew us. She knew out tells. She knew our eye twitches, our breathe changes…” 

“That’s what the game is known for. So what? She figured you out? How do we even know they didn’t split the pot and didn’t say who won or lost because they both won?”

“Because it’s Colonel that won’t let her back.” 

Fuery frowned. “It’s been two years. Invite her back. Maybe it will be different and Breda can get his revenge.” 

“No way,” Breda shook his head. “I’m not playing another card game with her unless ordered by the Fuhrer himself!” 

Fuery blinked, seeing these higher officers terrified to play poker with The Hawk. He’d never imagine these gambling goons afraid of anything, except Breda and Hayate. How could they be afraid of her in that way? They knew they had been played, that the whole game was a con she has whipped up. She’d played poker before and knew the game. So what? If they knew, why wouldn’t they fight back? 

Before Fuery could make another comment the door opened loudly and they all looked towards the door, seeing their Colonel look at the paper as he sipped his coffee. He looked up, staring at them as they stared back. “Something special going on at Fuery’s desk that I should know about?”

Breda stood up straight. “We invited him to the poker game tonight,” he informed, trying to look innocent. 

Mustang nodded cooly, tucking the paper under his arm and walked towards his desk. “Are you going to join us, Seargent Fuery?” 

“Yes.” He glanced at Havoc, a sly smile slipping from his lips. “But I was wondering if Hawkeye was going to go too.” 

Mustang stopped, frozen in his spot. “She is not,” he said firmly. He coughed, clearing his throat. “She doesn’t like to play poker.” 

Fuery raised his eyebrow towards Breda. “They just told me that she beat you and you won’t let her play now.” 

Havoc grabbed Fuery roughly by the collar. “Hey!” 

But Mustang raised his hand and grinned. “All is fair in love and war,” he reminded as he sat down. “But dirty acts like hers are not welcome at a game of poker between friends.” He crossed his legs and turned his chair to look out the window. “She knows she is not invited anymore. We need to leave it at that.” 

Fuery watched at the officer’s dispursed to their chairs. She was scheduled back shortly from the shooting range for a class she was instructing. He deeply debated bringing it up with her. He wanted to know her response. She’d probably just wave him off and say that she was accused of cheating. But most of all, Fuery couldn’t see her all dressed up with red lipstick as Havoc claimed. 

“Do I smell smoke,” Colonel asked as he raised his head from the desk. “Did you smoke in here?” He looked coldly at Havoc, who in return, lowered his head to hide from his commanding officer. “I”m not protecting you when Lieutenant Hawkeye gets here,” he warned sharply. “You’re on your own this time.” The whole office heard him sigh. “We’re all on our own,” Mustang muttered. 

[nekoannie-chan]

Insecurities

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Word count: 2788 words

Summary: You’re married to Steve, however, there are many rumors about him, what would happen if you misunderstood a situation and believed that the rumors are true?

Warnings: Maybe it is sad.

A/N: My native language is Spanish so if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

This is written for @prettyyoungtragedy ‘s Maya’s 10K (WTF) challenge! with prompt # 10:

“Will you still love me when I’m no longer young and beautiful?”

I took some inspiration from episodes 21 and 22 of the second season of the TV show “Desperate Housewives.”

In this universe the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. and they managed to stop HYDRA in time, so Ultron or Vision was not created, nor was there a Civil War.

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don’t steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other’s people. The only exception is the ones I gifted ‘cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Marvel’s characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

You had married Steve almost six years ago, you two had met after he had been thawed, and after the New York attack, you had started a relationship. Now you had two children, a girl and a boy, who were twins.

Since Steve had obtained a very important position after he and Fury managed to unmask HYDRA without S.H.I.E.L.D. fall; but a few weeks before that event you had married in secret.

Natasha had found Steve’s little secret almost two years after you had married, so that day Steve invited her to dinner with you so she could meet you, although, from the first moment she saw you, you knew she didn’t like you since then she always behaved very rude to you every time they came to meet.

You sighed and threw the newspaper away, you hated the false news that used to appear in any media, and you knew that Steve kept you as a secret to prevent his old and new enemies from hurting them.

You gave the snack to your children, while the twins ate you called to his cell phone, he didn’t answer.

“Surely he is in a meeting or a mission,” you thought to try to calm yourself down.

You watched TV distract you for a while the children were sleeping, there was an Avengers interview, but what left you frozen was the way Natasha behaved with your husband, you turned off the TV without even watching the interview.

You received a call from your best friend and he asked you if you had seen the interview, you said yes but now you feel confused, you didn´t understand what was happening, immediately your friend went to visit you, you were talking for a while about everything that had been going on and suspect things

“Y/N you must go and see if all that is true, I think your husband acts too weird,” your friend said.

“I don’t know, I’m afraid of what I can find,” you replied unconvinced.

“You need to know the truth,” she insisted.

“What if the rumors are true?” you asked afraid.

“I have a gun, so go calm and I’ll take care of the children and you can go on my car, so they won’t recognize you, it’s different from the car they know,” your friend offered.

She was right, Steve always refused to talk about his work with you, sometimes he said as an excuse that it was better that you didn´t know to prevent someone will hurt you if they tried to obtain the information and other were secret projects and therefore he wasn´t authorized to share the information with others who were not involved.

You were going to the Triskelion, you were determined to face that pair once and for all, so you didn’t mind driving more than two hours to get to the place.

Halfway while you waited for the traffic light to change, you saw something that caught your attention completely, a couple walking hand in hand towards a cafeteria, the couple looked too much like Steve and Natasha. You were so focused on what you saw that you didn’t notice the change of lights until the other drivers began to despair and heard the noise of the horn, you started and immediately looked for a parking lot.

You took the glasses that your friend always had in the car and picked up your hair, you hoped they didn’t realize that it was you, you entered the cafeteria, and you sat in a place where you could see and hear them but they couldn’t see you. You noticed that Steve didn’t wear his wedding ring.

You asked for the first thing you saw on the menu, you were most cared to listen to what they were talking about, you didn’t recognize the people they were with, by photos you knew some of their coworkers, the only ones you knew in person were Romanoff and director Fury, although it was possible that the other people also worked in S.H.I.E.L.D., because of the way they talked, it didn’t seem like they were partners.

This time Steve and Nat’s mission was simple, pretend to be a just engaged couple to get some information from the suspects because the business that these people had was wedding planning but the real business was the illegal sale of weapons.

“How long have you been in a relationship?” asked one of the suspects.

“Four and a half years,” Steve replied.

“And you have thought about what kind of wedding would you like,” the other suspect asked.

“Not yet, we have seen some ideas but we have not liked anything,” Natasha said.

The suspects show them some ideas but none seemed to convince them.

“I have a question, have any of you been married before?” One of them asked.

“Y-No…”

“No, we don’t, we want this to be forever …” Natasha intervened before anyone suspected Steve was lying.

Then you saw they kissed, you had seen enough so that you didn´t finish listening to the conversation, you had verified that the rumors were true, you left the money that covered your food and the tip on the table although you hadn´t eaten much and left from the cafeteria with your heartbroken. You return to your home immediately, you wanted to run away but you are not going to leave your children alone or with his father.

Four and a half years … the twins were four years old, which meant Steve had started cheating on you when you were pregnant.

You still didn’t believe what you saw in that cafeteria, you felt betrayed, as if during all these years you had lived in a lie, maybe he was with you just for the children and not because he loved you.

Besides, you didn’t know his friends, he always told you the same excuse and what if you were the lover?

What if you were not legally married and the wedding had been a very well planned farce?

Maybe that was the reason he kept you as a secret and Natasha treated you so badly.

When you arrived at the house, you vaguely told your friend what had happened and what you had decided to do, you knew you had her support.

You weren’t going to wait for him to hear more excuses or lies, you had to get out of there immediately, and you put in a suitcase that you had borrowed from your best friend some of your belongings, you hadn’t noticed the presence of the twins in the door frame.

“Mommy?” your son called you.

You turned and saw the little ones holding each other hands, for a moment you stopped, you sat on the bed.

“Come here, my babies,” you called them

They approached, the boy sat next to you while the girl sat on your lap.

“We’re going on a trip for a few days,” you informed them.

“And daddy?” your son asked.

You knew how much they loved him but you couldn’t break their hearts too, maybe after a while, you would tell them the truth.

“No, dad doesn’t come, he has a lot of work,” you explained and the children saw each other a little confused.

“Can we take Cookie?” your daughter asked.

“Sure, and Rufus too,” you replied when you saw that your son was going to ask the same thing.

Your son took his sister’s hand to go to their respective stuffed animals in their bedrooms.

You would not go in your car, it was obvious that they were going to locate you, nor your cell phone, you had enough money for two months at least, and then you would worry about how to get more.

You could not leave the country or go with any family because it was obvious that he would find you and you will be in problems, you wanted to disappear so you remembered that a few weeks ago you had seen in the supermarket some rent cabins in a place very far.

It was perfect, nobody would look for you there. You rented the cabin as soon as you arrived at the place, the best, they didn’t even ask your name so you didn’t have to lie, the children looked happy and they forgot that their father wasn´t with you.

You saw yourself in the mirror and you sighed, you felt that you weren´t as beautiful and young as Natasha but at least you would have liked him to tell you the truth, you had no idea how to explain what happened to your children, you weren´t sure if they would understand the seriousness of the matter.

Steve arrived at your house, he missed you a lot because the mission instead of taking it one day, took two more days because they had immediately started working on a plan to catch the enemies and also felt a little bad for the mission, he had never liked having such missions where he had to be a couple of his partner. The mission had been much better than they expected;  they not only obtained the information also they caught the criminals and secured the weapons that the criminals had, he had been so busy that he didn’t even notice that you didn’t answer the messages he had sent to you.

“Doll?” he called you when he entered.

He didn’t hear any response, so he looked into the kitchen but you weren´t there.

“Kids?” he called, although later he felt silly, obviously you weren’t going to leave the little ones alone.

Terror seized him when he heard no response again, he began to check the house.

“Maybe they went to the supermarket or took the children to the park,” he thought

He found your cellphone in the bedroom when he checked the second floor, went back down and saw that the keys to your car were where they always were, and your car in the garage. He knew perfectly well that you didn´t use another transport when you went out with the children.

He called your best friend and she said she didn’t know where you were, he called all the places that thought you could be, you weren’t there it was like you just disappeared, no, rather Steve was sure that some of his enemies had kidnapped you.

He immediately called Fury, he needed to find you as quickly as possible and save them from the danger in which he believed you were.

The following three weeks were eternal to Steve, he hardly slept, the only thing that mattered him was finding you alive and safe, it was not possible that you had simply disappeared, he had checked at all airports, at all places that had thought you could be, several members of the organization participated by order of Fury in the pursuit, Clint also participated, he could understand what Steve felt, surely if his family disappeared he would also lose his mind.

That day you had decided to go to the supermarket, you let the children choose the cookies, however, you didn´t realize that someone had discovered you, you kept shopping, nor did you notice that the person had followed you to the cabin.

“Cap, I found them,” Clint informed him.

Steve immediately arrived where Clint was waiting for him.

“Barton, are you sure they are there and safe?” Steve asked incredulously, he was completely surprised at where you were.

“I found them in the supermarket and followed them here, your wife looks a bit sad, that’s all, although before you enter, I think you should listen to her, I don’t think anyone has kidnapped them but rather they ran away from you,” said Clint.

“It doesn’t make sense …” Steve felt confused.

“I just think you should know her motives first,” he said.

Steve nodded and went to the cabin, knocked on the door, you went to open the door as quickly as possible so that the children didn´t wake up but you got a big surprise to see him there.

“Steve…”

“Doll, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he greeted as he opened the door further and entered the place.

“Sure come in,” you murmured.

You leaned out to make sure Natasha wasn’t with him until you don´t see another person outside you closed the door and went to the room where Steve had already sat.

“Hmm, what about the children?” he asked, not seeing them.

“Upstairs, taking a nap,” you replied.

You were in silence for a few minutes, which suddenly became very uncomfortable.

“What do you want?” you asked suddenly.

“Why you run away? I’ve been worried all these weeks believing something bad had happened to them “he questioned.

“You’re a cynic, after everything you did you still ask me that” you couldn’t believe he was looking for an explanation

"I'm sorry, I know I have had a lot of work and I have hardly been with you but I will ask for vacation and go wherever you want," he tried to apologize.

He thought it was because he hardly spent time with you and the kids, in the past, you had had a few discussions about it, but now he wanted to fix things. You slapped him with all your strength because you couldn't stand that he acts like an innocent and lies to you again.

“What the…?”

“Do you think I don't know that you cheat on me with Natasha? I know you are getting married soon, at least you would have had the courage to tell me “you claimed.

“What are you talking about? I don't date her” he sounded very confused and actually in his mind he didn't know what you were talking about.

"Don't lie, I listened to the cafeteria conversation ..." you started to say.

Steve opened his eyes, now everything has sense, it was a misunderstanding, he had no idea how to fix it but he would try because he didn't want to lose you.

"That was a mission, you can talk to Fury if you don't believe me, there is nothing between Romanoff and me, Y/N you are the only one I love, I just care about you and our children," he interrupted.

"She's prettier, younger, and more talent than me," you said.

You felt like nothing in comparison to Natasha.

"For me, you are the most beautiful, seriously there is nothing between her and me," he tried to take your hand.

“Do you have…? I saw you kissing her,“ you asked by removing her hand to keep her from taking it, you needed to know the truth.

"Nothing happened, she kissed me as part of the mission, seriously Y/N, you're the only one," he assured you.

"You never tell me anything about your work, I don't even know who your co-workers are, you never tell me anything," you recriminated, you felt that at any moment you were going to cry.

"I do very dangerous things ..." he began.

"You always say the same, so you want me to believe you and have confidence?" you were tired of the same excuse.

"Give me another chance, please, I don't want to miss this, I'll tell you everything, we will go with Fury and you'll know everything there," he promised.

“I don’t know …” you weren’t convinced.

“Please Y/N, you are my only reason to continue, one last chance please,” he begged, almost crying.

“Will you still love me when I am no longer young and beautiful? You know I will grow old before you “you felt the tears fall down your cheeks.

“I don’t care about that, I will always love you,” he said.

He approached you, wiped your tears with the back of his hand, and gave you a little kiss, he was still afraid you would reject him.

“All right, just one chance,” you said.

“Daddy!” the twins shouted, they already woken up.

They ran to him and Steve took two children, now that he saw you, he felt better, nothing bad had happened to any of you.

“How have you behaved? Have you been good children? ”He asked.

“Yes!” They answered in one voice.

“Mom said that you had a lot of work,” said the little girl.

“I had it but I finished it,” Steve said.

“Are you staying with us?” The boy asked.

“Yes, what do you think if we stay another week and spend the four of us time together and have fun?”

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you. Steve”

Now Steve was going to fix the mistake he had been making for years and you were going put on time they had lost in recent weeks.

[radioactive-park]

Dogpoo Petuski Application

IN CHARACTER:

Name: Devin “Dogpoo/Dogtooth/Dev” Petuski - I am fully aware that it isn’t his name, but I can’t take Dogpoo as a name seriously (There will be something in ‘bio’ about that)  Age: 24 years old Gender (pronouns): Cis male, he/him Sexuality: Pansexual? Bisexual? Who knows! Occupation/Role: Owns a butchery type deal. Does alright taxidermy on the side. Goes out hunting regularly.  Location/Faction: Centennial City Personality:  - Devin is at first glance, quiet and introverted. Deciding that, since he lives in the ’big,scary city’, he would rather be a loner and not speak to many people outside work circumstances. This, combined with trust issues is not a fun combo. While he does hate it sometimes, he knows that is what keeps him safe. When he does speak to people however, he does it with the utmost respect and manners. Having manners might just make someone’s day, after all. He always tries to have a very positive outlook, or well, as positive as one could be in the wasteland. Always walking with a smile on his face, but don’t be fooled into thinking that he is naïve or gullible. He is very quick to realize when he’s been lied to. - He can get very protective of who and what he cares about, to the extent that he’d rather die trying than give up what’s being protected. - He keeps his promises and stays loyal to those who stay loyal to him, until given reason not to be. - He has literally no patience for snobby/bitchy types. It is the only time he doesn’t stick to being friendly. If a snobby type enters the butchery, don’t be surprised if he tells you to fuck off.  - Unless you’ve personally hurt him a lot, he will not hold a grudge. He will shrug it off and, you guessed it, not care.  - A brave bastard. He will not even flinch if you pull a gun or knife on him (Unless you’re, as an example, a CC military type). Stupid brave, to put it simply.  - Has slight abandonment issues, but hey, can’t be abandoned if there’s nobody to abandon you. Bio (It’s not up to Gregory’s app’s standard I apologise x-x): Born and raised in Centennial city, where he still lives to this day.

At the time of his birth, Devin was nameless. His parents, back then, were completely clueless on what to name their baby boy. Like most wasteland parents they feared that he wouldn’t manage to live long. That, even when they were living inside the safe walls of the city, danger would still swoop in and take him from them. So, he was simply referred to as ’son’ and ’boy’ to start with.

His parents ran a butchery in the city, a surprisingly successful one at that. One night, when Devin was barely a year old still, his father offered to watch him while his mother was out buying a few things for the house. His father, somewhat careless, left him to crawl around and play with some things while he was busy preparing what would be sold the next day. Devin took interest in the family’s dog, who often stood by in case he could possibly get meat scraps. When the dog walked off to go outside for…business, Dev followed close by. By the time his father realized he was missing, he was just…sitting outside, playing with, you guessed it, the dog’s poop. Can’t really blame him for it, he was just a little kid. A baby. That earned him the nickname ’Dogpoo’. Originally his mother was against it, it was a very silly nickname to go by, but she was reasoned with to accept it. Said that it was only a temporary nickname. They were still unsure whether he would live past the age of 5. Nothing personal or against him, they loved him very much, but with the amount of dangers in the wasteland it was a possibility that he would die young.

That was not the case.

Through the years, to his parents’ surprise, he managed to stay alive. From a young age, he showed interest in following in his parents’ footsteps. So, they taught him everything they knew. Proper hunting, skinning, knowing what cuts are used for what, what to dispose of and watch out for, even things like sewing, reading and a hint of writing. He also learned how to cook a variety of foods from a variety of items, not only meat. He avoided joining the CC’s ranks as a guard or mercenary, rather slowly started helping more and more around the butchery. 

It took him until the age of about 11 or 12 to realize what he is called, and what it was. At 16, he also figured out that his parents weren’t sure that he would live as long as he did, which is why he didn’t really have a proper name. He hated being known only by a dumb nickname purely for his mistake as a baby. He was being mocked for it behind his back, he was sure of it. So he slowly began reading up and figuring out what he would name himself. He asked for suggestions. Wrote down possible names. Anything. If people asked about his name, about ’Dogpoo’, he would say that it was misheard. That it was actually ’Dogtooth’. He stuck with that every time he was asked. While out hunting on his own for the first time, he had his first run in with something that would not die easily by a few shots from a hunting rifle. He wasn’t afraid of it, rather cautious and curious. It wasn’t until he was pinned down, blood streaming down his face from being clawed that he realized he made a mistake getting close to it. He barely made it out alive, and if it wasn’t for the beast seeing other humans messing with it’s nest, he probably would have died right then and there. He still has the scars.  Another time, not too soon after that, he experienced radiation for the first time ever. He could feel it damaging him almost, but he would not be defeated by it. He didn’t want to become a ghoul either from making stupid decisions. This was where he started putting together gasmasks of his own design from old, broken ones he had bought, traded for or found. One was based of a dog, similar to the family dog years back. The other was based off what he called a ’tusk-beast’, a weird animal he saw in form of a broken, ruined statue in the city. Those would protect him to an extent, and hide his face.

Fast forward to 2279, almost 2280. One day, Dogpoo was left in charge of the butchery for the day, while his parents went out for their weekly hunting trip. It was a quiet day, not too much going on in terms of sales. He spent his time removing the guts from the baby gecko who would become the taxidermized mascot of sorts for the place, Steven. It started getting later and later, but rather than fearing the worst, Dogpoo accepted that his parents had possibly gotten lost, or had decided to camp out for the night. He made a promise to himself that he would keep running the family business, rather than closing it for the time being. He knew that they would be proud of him for it. Only recently, a few months back to be exact, he took the day to make it official, that he was named Devin, that nobody could argue. Not even his parents.

Up until this day, though, he is still waiting for their return. Not as Dogpoo Petuski, but as Devin Petuski.

Headcanons: - This boy has never learned to shoot anything other than a variety of hunting rifles.  - Fairly skilled with knives, cleavers and saws, only because of the butchery.  - Has a huge claw scar across his face from getting attacked by some creature while out hunting. Very self-conscious about it.  - He tends to pay others for meat, just in case it runs out or he couldn’t find anything on his own. He doesn’t care what type of meat it is, as long as it’s still semi-edible and not completely toxic it’s fine.  - Strong distaste for human flesh, but will sell it under names such as ’Squirrel-on-a-stick’ or ’Iguana bits’. What you don’t know won’t hurt you. - The uses of the gasmasks: The dog one is worn when working. The elephant one is worn when out and about, either hunting, scavenging, or whatever the case might be. It is very rare to see him in public without the masks. He wears them for various reasons - Protection against radiation, to hide his scar and to hide his embarrassment for being called and known as ’Dogpoo’ for most of his life.  - He goes by ’Dogtooth’ around strangers, such as butchery customers and traders. Only once he feels he could trust the person, or the person knows his name, he’s okay with going by ’Devin’.  - It is unknown how he keeps the place cold. He doesn’t even know. Wouldn’t catch him complaining, though. - He literally has no idea about anything or anyone outside of the CC and the small radius around it where he hunts.  - He has been trying to perfect his taxidermy technique. His only successful one so far has been a baby gecko. He stands in the corner next to the door of the butchery. Dev calls him ’Steven’. - Dev can read numbers and do basic equations (add, subtract, multiply, divide). He keeps a small notebook in which he writes down things such as expenses, money made for the day, how much he has to pay people and so on.  - No, the money made is not kept at the butchery, nor does he keep it on him. So don’t even try to rob him. - Will try to befriend anyone and everyone. Very friendly, even to those who are not friendly towards him…. In most cases.  - Seems to speak with a slight Canadian accent.  - Not afraid to get dirty - No matter if it’s mud, blood, or anything else. - This boy hasn’t had a decent haircut since he was born. When it gets too long, he cuts it himself. Send help. - He sticks to the laws, rules and regulations of the city to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.  - He is a pretty decent wasteland chef and yes, he will make you food if you ask him to. (Once again, if something needs to be changed, I have no problem with doing so)

[hithelleth]

Another plague update 😉

It’s been a week or a fortnight and I’m sooooo tired. 😫

I think this one might be my last for a while since we’re sort-of coming out of the plague? And by that I mean it’t not gone and it won’t be for another year or two but we’ve had consistent 0-1 new cases for more than a week (although that’s far from the end and being safe, but, you know, for now it’s not as critical as it used to be.)

We’ll see. 

Anyway, I’ve been busy, I think my brain kicked in belated ‘spring mode’, so I’ve been doing all the things. 

Such as, after 7+ years of letting it ‘rest’ under an overhang, I discovered my garden set is still usable? 

I bought it when we moved in and used it as inside dining set while looking for and affordable proper one, then I put it outside and set it away under overhand over winter, next spring I wiped it down, sat on a chair and ruined a T-shirt with black streaks and though the paint (it’s black) was rubbing off so it was rubbish. So I left it there, planning to throw it away, because sanding it down and staining it was beyond my capabilities and talking someone else into it as well b/c I saved requests for help for more urgent things.

But last week I was talking to my neighbour about tutoring her kid and she suggested we could be outside on my patio and I said we had nowhere to sit and then I thought it was stupid and gave another try to cleaning a chair - and lo and behold with proper scrubbing (I ruined two sponges), I got all the dirt off and no, the paint ain’t rubbing off!

Anyway, that’s how depression fucked with my mind, I spent 7+ years thinking the set is only good to throw it away (and couldn’t do that either), because I could not muster mental or physical strength to clean it properly. But better late than never.

Oh, yes, so I tutored - actually, really just revised a bit with a neighbour’s kid, which was great, especially because he’s 8 and loves English, once for a change. 😉

I’ve also been planning to get some drawer dividers for my bedroom, but forgot (or changed my mind, b/c I was too afraid to spend the money) every time I was in our version of IKEA and then last week I randomly came across a YouTube video on home hack which suggested making drawer dividers out of cardboard - and I have plenty of cardboard waiting for someone to take it to the recycling centre, so I went and used some, and now I have some nicely organised drawers. I’m planning to do it for other drawers, too. 

And then it was garbage collection week, so I did some more cleaning. 

Uh, and grocery shopping. I’ve never liked any kind of shopping because all kinds of shopping are tiring, but in these times thrice over, because I always wash/wipe everything down (and wash my hands 10 times in between) before putting it away and it takes so much time and energy. 😫

There was also the usual and unusual stressing but I’m not going to talk about that. 

So, I went from watching all the things to watching nothing. And reading ‘nothing’ as in no books. 

But I’ve been coping with stress and tiredness (and headaches from tiredness) by rereading copious amounts of Revolution fanfic (sort by bookmarks and go 😉), because somehow it’s all I can stomach right now? And by stomach it feels like wrapping myself like a nice, warm, soft blanket (which is curious, considering the amounts of angst and all, lol.) One of these (or maybe just now) days I’m going to catch up on commenting anew. 

So, yeah, I think that’s all. Survived the first (if only it was the only, but it probably isn’t) wave of Covid. Yay! :)

[colorofmymindposts]

The Deviance of Two English Gentlemen Chapter One

Chapter Title: A Most Troubling Domestic

Fandom: Sherlock Holmes (Ritchie films)/Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms Pairing: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Mary Morstan/John Watson Characters: Sherlock Holmes, Mary Morstan, John Watson, Mrs. Hudson Rating: Teen and Up  Status: Incomplete, will be updated on weekly/biweekly basis Word Count: 1520 Summary: Set post Game of Shadows. When Sherlock Holmes is given a case by none other than Mrs. Watson, he has no idea that he cannot fix the unsolvable for the couple. Intimate truths are exposed in the process, leaving all three irrevocably changed. Tags: Case Fic, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Secrets

Story: 

The signees of Spring and her benefactors were much appreciative of this day. The breeze was finally light and welcome, the sun did not deceive in her promise of warmth, and the creatures of Providence could once again roam the streets and fields without difficulty, a stride in their steps that did not exist a mere fortnight ago. Of course, with the synergy of ardour and envy, succeeded by keyed up tempers, it was the season of renewed energy towards crime of all kinds. If Sherlock Holmes were to leave his flat sometime within the next two days, he would most assuredly be met with the dastardly, delicious aftermath of criminal underworld antics. The case he was to be met with though was unlike any he would have anticipated. 

Nanny had ceased in providing him breakfasts in the morning as she had grown accustomed to his years’ absence when he was presumed dead after his nearly fatal confrontation with Moriarty at the Reichenbach Falls. Still, Holmes considered himself fortunate that she had decided not to let out the rooms of 221B to anyone else in that time. He liked to imagine that his memory had haunted the flat from any prospective renters. It was more likely that she had felt his experiments had irrevocably made the place unlivable for anyone else, which suited his purposes just as well. In the time since his return, they had stopped seeing each other altogether except for the instances in which the woman needed to collect the rent or occasionally checked to see he was still alive. Her tread on the steps and tentative opening of the door in this instance did not seem to indicate either of those options however. “A visitor is here to see you, Mr. Holmes,” Mrs. Hudson announced without a greeting. Holmes stood facing the window. The scuttling of children playing in the street could faintly be heard through the glass though he preferred their prattling to Mrs. Hudson’s. “I don’t receive visitors, only clients and Watson, so which one is it?” “Both, I’m afraid.” Thoroughly startled, Holmes spun around ungracefully. Mrs. Watson stood in the doorframe of 221B, and he realized in that exact moment she had never once stepped foot in this flat. The woman had barely put up her hair, her face did not glow with her usual choice of cosmetics, and the azure dress she wore was plain, one she normally kept in the back of her armoire. Lines shown clearly under her eyes spoke of little sleep, and her mouth was set in an expression of grim unhappiness. “You are punishing yourself,” Holmes declared, though he was still attempting to parse out the reason. Mrs. Watson stood resolute. They’d engaged in battle for far too many years now to allow some remark like that crack through her facade. “I came here for your help, Mr. Holmes, and if you won’t give it to me I’ll be forced to go to Scotland Yard.” Mrs. Hudson looked positively alarmed at the always reserved Mrs. Watson. All Holmes had to do was bark “Out, Nanny!” and the flustered woman fled faster out of his rooms and past Mrs. Watson than an abominable horse free-ranging in the countryside. He had the almost irresistible urge to pick up his pipe and light it, knowing it would offend the woman’s sensibilities. Instead, Holmes’ temper simmered in an inexplicable instance at seeing the distress evident on her features, and so he treated her with the politeness customary for a client. “Would you care to enter my humble abode, madam?” She obliged him in this regard, stepping forward several paces until reaching the center of the room. Holmes idly picked up the bow to his violin, gesturing towards the client chair. “I’d prefer to stand, thank you,” she replied primly. Holmes smirked as he set the bow down. “Is this a consultation or a confrontation?” There was a sigh of exasperation not heard but felt. “Please, Mr. Holmes, I am well aware we do not see eye to eye on many matters, all excepting one.” He pointedly avoided her gaze. “I know of none.” She entreated once more. “My husband and your friend.”

Holmes huffed indignantly. “That is the very matter that divides us, you understand.”

Mrs. Watson took a sharp inhale of breath, and he admittedly felt a certain delight at trying her patience. Although he already knew of her irritation and exhaustion, he did not expect the woman to begin to weep openly in front of him.

“Please you have to find him!” She exclaimed desperately. “I’ve no idea where he is or what state he could be in. I’ll never forgive myself if something has happened to him.”

The distraught woman broke into further hysterics, clasping her face between her hands, muffling the strangled noises she emitted with terrible frequency. Holmes gently guided her into the client chair, an action to which she gave little protest, and offered her a handkerchief stained with the least number of chemical burns. Upon taking a seat in his own armchair, he rested his chin upon steepled fingers. Panic and alarm first gripped him once he processed her claim—how long had Watson been gone, where did he go and was this action voluntary, was he in any sort of danger, or was it...Heaven forbid, too late to take action. This performance of hers wouldn’t do, not if something had befallen his dear Watson.

“Mrs. Watson, take a moment to collect yourself. I’ll never be able to find your husband through that nonsensical blubbering if that’s all you have to provide me,” he snapped. His hands trembled, and so he sought the comfort of tobacco since he could not sink into the bliss of cocaine in that moment.

She sobered a little at his clipped and irritated tone, her cries subsiding into petite sniffles. At one time, when he was more vindictive, Holmes would have likely been most amused at the pathetic picture.

Her voice still wobbled over her words. “He left yesterday evening, and there’s been no word from him since.”

“What time?” He asked as he lit his pipe.

“Around eight thirty.”

“Did he give a reason for his...sudden departure? I am certain his going was not planned.” Holmes discerned there had been a reason, but the veracity of his suspicions was crucial to his work, or at least that was the most convenient excuse.

“He was...upset,” she finally confessed after a few seconds too long.

“As I suspected. Trouble in paradise, Mrs. Watson? These domestics do tend to sort themselves out from what I’m told,” he said derisively as he took a pull from the pipe and exhaled a cloud of smoke into the room.

She shook her head vehemently. “You don’t understand, and I am sure that smoking your pipe is not helping to clear your mind either.”

Holmes was stuck between laughing and ordering the woman out of his rooms. Since his return, he never knew how to behave around the woman Watson chose. Instead he idly turned the pipe over in his hands and emptied its contents onto the floor, dragging his foot against it for good measure.

“I thought—”

Brusquely, he cut her off, though this was not the sensible thing to do. “What?”

“I thought he might have...come here, to Baker Street.”

Holmes stiffened in his chair. Of course, that’s what Watson should have done, what Holmes would have wanted him to do. It came as a surprise to him that Mrs. Watson would concur.

“As you can see, madam, he has not retreated from domesticity within these rooms.”

“But you’ll find him nonetheless,” she insisted, certain already.

“I’ve already a few ideas where the old boy has gotten off to,” he reassured her as he disposed of his tattered dressing gown in favor of a jacket. “Watson is a great many things but being creative while inebriated is not one of them.”

Mrs. Watson rebutted him firmly. “John is not a drunk.”

“But any man can indulge himself too much when upset,” he contested, using her words. “I hope for both your sakes’ he has warned you he’s a reckless gambler when he drinks. Do you have his cheque book?

The woman looked down in lieu of a response.

“I see,” he said, unimpressed. The first time Watson had willingly lost his portion of the rent to complete strangers around a table, Holmes had begun hiding the man’s money (Watson had agreed begrudgingly when provided the clear evidence that this was the only way to ensure his half of the rent was paid) and would distribute it when he knew Watson would not blow it on the lure of dice and cards. At the very least, Watson was sensible enough not to bet on the horses.  

“A man’s money is not supposed to be his wife’s business,” she replied in a resigned manner.

“How utterly absurd.” With that, Holmes leapt from his chair and started in a rush towards his door, calling out behind him, “I’ll tell him that myself!”  

[transboygenius]

SE4SON: Chapter 2

[*Following day*]

Libby Folfax was running up the stairs of her best friend's home, holding what appears to be a vinyl record. She was bursting in urge to share the important news. Well, news only important to her. Making a left turn, she reached Cindy's room.

"Cindy! Girl, you won't believe what happened to me today! My cousin's friend's brother knew a guy who was once a manager to a hit 80s' RnB band, otherwise known as the PYTs, and guess what, they managed to get me a copy of their original recorded album, ON VINYL RECORD! You won't believe how much blood and sweat it took to get-"

Before Libby could finish, a piece of cloth hit her face. Cindy has turned her own bedroom topsy turvy. Toys were rearranged, clothes scattered around everywhere, makeup sets piled up and disorganized. Outfits of different colors flew around the room, out of the dresser. She appeared to be wearing a blue and purple ripple blouse. From the looks of it, Cindy may have news more important than hers.

"Cindy, may I ask?" "Shoot!" "What are you doin'?" "Trying to look for something fab to wear!" "What about that cute blouse on you? Isn't that good enough?" "I know, it's pretty, but I want to look BETTER!" "Why do you care so much about how you look? Don't tell me it's about Jimmy."

Cindy stopped what she was doing at that moment.

"If I tell you, it wouldn't be a secret." "Well, I know I shouldn't be poking at anybody's business, so I guess I'll be leavi-” "But I'll tell you anyways! Girl to girl talk!"

Grabbing Libby by the hand, she helped her to a seat on the messy bed, with the clothes supporting as a cushion.

"Libby... Dear friend Libby... Me and Jimmy have been going out for a long, long time. What started out as rivalry and hatred, slowly evolved into something new. We have bonded throughout many courses of adventures, including during our social lives. I've come to realize how much Jimmy means to me, more than any boy in my life. Nick is good looks and all, but he sure lacks some brains and courage. Jimmy, he's much different. He's so sweet, and sensitive. No one has showed me any passion so pure. He'll go out of his way just to keep me out of harm, no matter how the going gets rough. Not to mention, we make a good team together. The whole world would've gone to the pits if not for our collaborating intelligence. ...s. I don't know if you notice, but I think I'm in love."

Some of the things Cindy said would be considered bull by Libby. "He'll go out of the way just to keep me out of harm." He pretty much does so with all his friends, so what makes Cindy think she's so special? "The world would've gone to the pits if not for us." In a manner of speaking, at times, they'd make it worse. Overall, Jimmy and Cindy are growing closer to one another. Their relationship isn't really perfect, to be exact. Whenever Jimmy is slightly late to a date, or if he's not giving Cindy the attention she craves, she would then scold him. Hell, Cindy wouldn't even allow him to talk to any girl prettier than her. Sometimes, she'd pretend to have no money just so Jimmy would help pay for her, because that's what gentlemen are suppose to do. They're still at it with their arguing, continuing to wage brain power, and Cindy can get a little violent when angered. But aside from their flaws, the two are getting along good. Cindy does have a tendency of showing she cares, and Jimmy's not afraid to hold hands with her in public anymore. They are not even afraid to display their affection in front of their own friends. That's all the pros Libby could think of out of her head.

"Why am I not surprised?" "As a matter of fact, I think Jimmy's starting to feel the same way, too." "Huh?" "This afternoon, Jimmy emailed me to come meet him at Paste Pot's Pizza Palace for an important meeting! You know what this means, Libby? He's gonna pop the question!" "Say what?! Aren't you too young for that?" "I mean ask me to be his girlfriend! Finally! OH MY GOODNESS, I CAN'T CONTAIN MYSELF!" "Calm down, Cindy! Calm down! It happens to everyone!" "I can't help it! This has got to be one of the most happiest days of my life! I feel like a princess reaching closer to a happy ending! OH, LOOK AT THE TIME! Why did you hold me back?!"

She grabbed her purse, which Humphrey had been taking a nap on, then dashed out the room within a second, just before Libby could say anything else.

"I hope she isn't like this 10 years from now."

...

Cindy walked through the door of the pizzeria, eyes scanning the room for her lover. Families were dining, and so were some happy couples. Seeing all their smiles gave Cindy the idea why Jimmy chose this place for a proposal. Although, she prefers it'd be done in a place more fancy or formal, instead of a greasy eatery. But, since Jimmy already had this plan reserved, might as well play along with it. She then spotted Jimmy afar by his tall, shiny brown hair, which always stuck out like a sore thumb. He looked like he was about to break into jitters. Must be the feel of butterflies in his stomach. It's completely normal, Cindy understands. Boy, he looked so adorable right now. She walked over to the table, in a fashionable ladylike style to make herself appear more attractive to him. So far, she won the hearts of a few young boys. Jimmy didn't even notice her coming his way, since he was distracted by the reflection on his drink. He then stopped looking at the glass as the sound of throat-clearing got his attention.

"CINDY! Sorry, I didn't notice you there." "It's okay, honey-bear. No need to apologize. What matters is that I'm here. Now, how about we get down to the nitty gritty, shall we?"

It's obvious Cindy came here for the news Jimmy emailed her about. And judging by her expression, she probably knows this whole idea is based around them, and their relationship. She leaned in forward across the table, batting her eyelashes in a flirty gesture. Jimmy became flustered by Cindy's pass, but his red cheeks were merely out of intimidation. Cindy mistook it as a sign of affection. She looked really pretty today, but Jimmy could only look through her beauty with his bashfulness blinding him. Then, she was starting to loose patience, much to the genius's dismay. Cindy can grow a bit of a temper when you keep her waiting. Right before Jimmy could utter a word, their pizza arrived to the table. Jimmy dared not to make eye contact with the waitress, or Cindy will get into a pissy fit with him for looking at another attractive broad.

"Well, I'm vanished! Is it okay we discuss the matter after we eat? Can't think straight on an empty stomach!" "... Sure. Whatever."

However, Jimmy forgotten how aggravated Cindy can be. People know better not to leave her hanging. If Jimmy isn't gonna break it to her unless they're finished eating, that's a challenge she's willing to take. As the boy was about to help himself to a slice, Cindy grabbed the entire pie, folded it, then scarfed it down like a garbage disposal. Shocked, Jimmy never knew she possessed this sort of talent. It was impressive, yet embarrassing at the same time. Everyone began to stare, even the employees. Just goes to show you that Cindy will undertake any amount of challenges just to get what she wants. With nothing left on the plate, she washed the pizza down with a gulp from her purple flurp. She didn't seemed dizzy, or full at all. She wasn't gonna regurgitate anytime soon, either.

"OKAY. We're finished eating now! Now gimme the scoop! Uhh, please, I mean."

Jimmy hesitated for a short moment, just to take a deep breath. This isn't gonna end unless he tells her. He might as well give her what she came for.

"Cindy, it has been months now. I feel like we're getting more closer than ever. Wow. A few more months, and we can make it a year. As you may recall, I transmitted you for an appointment here just to talk about us. You, me, and our communion. I don't know how to put it out, though. This atmosphere is making me irritable. All in all, I'm a little mortified, additionally." "Its okay, baby. It happens to everyone. You don't have to be afraid."

The poor genius was nervous. Cindy could only divide it in two ways. One, he's scared he might be rejected. Or two, if she says "yes," this may change his life forever. They are this close to becoming an official couple. It may be a little too early to think of this, but Cindy just imagined what their wedding would be like. All their friends and family would attend, with a cake 12 tiers long. She'd wear the most beautiful white gown to knock all the girls off their feet. Picture their children. She would like to have at least 18, with majority of them being girls. She'll remain by his side as they both age, hair starts to turn gray, and they're sitting in rocking chairs. What she'd want for them is to be the happiest couple in Retroville.

"I think we should dismiss all this romantic livelihood."

Cindy shattered the glass she had been clutching in her hand.

"Um, Jimmy dear, could you translate that for me?" "I don't think I wanna keep on." "With...?" "...with this relationship." "It's the pizza thing, isn't it? I'm so sorry you had to witness that! It'll never happen again, I swear of it!" "No no no, it's not that! It's about us in general."

Cindy could hear her own heart splitting in two.

"Don't take it personal, Cindy. What I'm trying to clarify is, I care about you very much, but what we have isn't healthy. Sometimes I can't rely on you for trust, you have a temper problem, you tend to get physical based on your mood, your jealousy is keeping me from socializing with any female you feel threatened by, and may I bring up our arguing?" "I-... I only hit you as a way of showing I care! Don't you see it?! And what's wrong with arguing? Every couple does it once in a while!" "You're positive on that one. But for us, we argue way too often. Not even middle aged couples could keep up with us." "And how dare you accuse me of not being trustworthy! Are you saying you don't trust me at all?!" "On certain grounds, yes. For example, you almost betrayed your own friends all because my formal enemy promised to make you the richest girl on Earth. And there was that time I asked you to set my rocket on autopilot, but you went ahead and piloted it yourself, despite having zero experiences!" "You know what I think? You're just being selfish right now." "Cindy, this isn't just for me, it's for you too. Aside from the borderline abuse, we are still obsessed with surpassing one another. Anything related to science, we are bound to compete for it. We can't even admit to each other that one of us are better at some things. You may think our relationship is all hugs and kisses, when in reality, it's based off of competition. Would you wanna remain with a man getting in the way of your goals? Like I said, what we have is unhealthy. We've both had a fair share of sweet times, but it can't erase what we've been through. Who knows if it'll continue like this. We deserve more than each other. Also, we rarely agree on anything, or have anything in common whatsoever. We're solely just opposite gendered counterparts. Let's face it, our personalities just don't balance well together."

Silence took place. The reaction may be too much for her, but Jimmy was only doing what was best for them, and possibly the sake of their future. Speaking of future, "You just reminded me that my life is awful." Sure, that was only the tampered future, but it may be possible to happen in the real thing. His friendship with Carl and Sheen didn't seem any different in that future. In fact, they were still the same loving three amigops. It's likely for Cindy to grow up into that same obnoxious diva who acted like she had control over him. Their relationship is way too dysfunctional. What starts out as only borderline abuse will eventually lead to real abuse. Jimmy's no better in the relationship as well. He's always putting Cindy down whenever she does bring up a good point, and he will never admit to her achievements. Both of them are obsessed with topping each other.

"What do you say, Cindy? Back to our usual lives?"

...

[*The Neutron household*]

Carl was practicing magic in the living room, tapping his wand on the edge of his hat. Sheen accompanied as his solo audience.

"Splunk glunk, flibble flubble!"

Carl looked into the hat, and to his disappointment, was still empty. Sheen applauded, as if that were part of the act.

"Sheen! That's not how it was planned!" "I'm just trying to be supportive! Sheesh!" "The bunny still hasn't come out yet. I think maybe I've lost them. Gee, it's been an hour already. I didn't even get the chance to name them, or figure out their gender yet. How does something so small and cute get lost in such tiny space?" "It's quite obvious!" "Really?" "Of course! Everyone knows you can tell which gender the animal is by *Whispers into Carl's ear*" "I meant how do you loose a tiny critter so easily inside something like this hat?! And... Is that how you really identify an animal's gender?" "Yup." "Ohhhhhhhh."

Not very long ago, ever since Jimmy put on a magic show to entertain his fellow peers, mostly just to impress Betty Quinlan, Carl had been inspired to try his own magic, but using the power of wits. Besides, Spamdini's Magical Kit was proven to be a ripoff anyways. Best trying his own magic instead. He purchased a hat, wand, and cape from a local novelty store. He borrowed a tutorial magician book from the library just to learn a few hacks. He even bought his own bunny rabbit for the job. This was a new life goal for him. He wanted to be a someone for once, not just some socially awkward allergy boy who's obsessed with llamas. His llama loving days are over. It's time for a brand new Carl, one people will actually pay respect to. And, there's another explanation behind this: A week back, he overheard that Judy was a big fan of magic. Sheen doesn't know that, neither does Jimmy.

"Okay, lets give it one more go." "Carl, I'm no expert, but I think you should try saying 'abracadabra.'" "'Abracadabra.'" OF COURSE! Why didn't I think of that?"

Before Carl tapped on his hat again, and say the words that go with it, Jimmy entered through the front door, which caught the two friends' attention. He was covered in bandages, his shirt and pants were torn, his hair was out of shape, and he was left with a right broken leg. He walked all the way home on crutches. Jimmy looked like he got into a fight with three Terry Finsters. Carl and Sheen assisted him inside.

"Cindy didn't take it so well, did she?" Asked Sheen. "No. To be frank, it actually turned out how I expected it to be. She understood greatly, and now we're in good hands! Unfortunately, in my mere excitement, I didn't take any precaution when crossing the street. Then, right there, I got hit by a car." "*Phew* Thank Ultralord! For a moment there, I thought you made Cindy mad. Guess I won't have to beg my dad to move!" "OF COURSE SHE DIDN'T TAKE IT SO WELL!"

Scared, Carl and Sheen let go of their injured friend, dropping him, then held onto each other in their arms. Cindy was a force you can't reckon with, and the two know better than to cross her path. If she's angry at Jimmy, good chance she'll take it out on his best friends, too. Now that Jimmy has broken her heart, Carl and Sheen knows this means serious business. They've encountered an angry Cindy lots of times, and it's not pretty. With Jimmy still on the floor, Goddard helped him up instead.

"Jimmy, I hope this isn't too much to ask, but could you lend us one of your inventions? Like, I don't know, your freeze ray, or your heat vision goggles? Or anything I don't care if it looks stupid but it'll save our butts anyways?" Spoke Sheen. "That's a negatory! Like I'd even trust someone like you to take possession over some advanced gadgetry. Besides, it's only me she's mad at, not you guys. And let me tell you something: I don't really care. She can be mad all she wants. I'm not gonna back down just because of how she's feeling. I made my decision, and it's my life. That's the way human nature cycles. Cindy is just gonna have to open her eyes, and see that real life isn't just some badly written romcom. We can't always have what we want. She'll get over it in the meantime."

Jimmy can be very blunt sometimes, but he's strong. The best way to avoid someone's feelings is to just steer clear from them. Only the weak give in. I'm not wrong, Jimmy thought, she is. And if she's smart as she says she is, she'll move on like any other sane individual. Carl and Sheen say otherwise.

"Hey Jimmy, how 'bout a magic trick to cheer you up? I've been practicing this all morning." Said Carl. "You haven't even found the rabbit yet." Butted Sheen. "Shhhhhhh." "Maybe later. I need some rest." Replied Jimmy, as he limped upstairs.

...

[*One week later*]

Cindy has been making Jimmy's life a living hell. The day after their breakup, Cindy trashed his lab; by smashing heavy machinery, shattering beakers and test tubes, and spraying graffiti, in form of the word "PIG", on his main computer's monitor. It was easy to access inside. All she had to do was harass Carl for a hair sample, since he holds a bag of Jimmy's hair with him. Day after that, she ratted one of Jimmy's personal secrets, which he shared with her from when they were still dating, to her classmates. What was that secret? We may never know. All throughout the remaining week, she treated him badly. Whenever he's about to sit down in class, she pulls out his chair. Every time he walks by, she'd trip him over. One time, a bunch of young girls gathered into a mob, then beat him senseless for breaking Cindy's heart without regret. It seems this won't stop until her thirst for revenge is quenched.

It was time he'd rest this case once and for all. Someone oughta put Cindy in her place. Saturday afternoon, after locating her location, he paid a visit to the Candy Bar. Cindy sat at a table, accompanied by Libby, with seven sundaes in front of her. Having to deal with sorrow, she could only eat away the pain, while crying. Libby supplied her with a box of tissues.

"Slow down, will ya, hun? You're gonna get a brainfreeze." said Libby.

Jimmy walked straight forward to that table, with a game face on. Cindy stopped eating after she caught sight of him. Both of them stared at each other, for what seemed like a couple minutes. Libby, without having Cindy notice, signaled Jimmy through body language. She was trying to tell him to leave, it's not worth it. Libby is quite apprehensive on Cindy's immature actions, and believes the cause of them is merely based off a misjudgment. She was on Jimmy's side, but Cindy should never know, because otherwise she'd allege her for disowning their friendship. It's likely to happen, since she's taking this breakup thing way too seriously. After receiving Libby's warning, Jimmy only declined it.

"You have every nerve showing your face in front of mine!" Cindy was the first to speak. "Cindy, I'm here to make a commitment with you." "Haven't you made me suffer enough, Neutron?!" "You need to forget about this whole thing. It's not making you feel any better. You can't stay mad for the rest of your life." "I CAN, AND I WILL!" "Okay, now you're just overreacting." "EXCUSE ME?!" "I told you, I did this for us! Me and you were unhealthy together! Most of what we did was argue, compete, and degrade each other! Aren't you ever tired of all the fighting? And when we are happy together, you won't let me please you on my own terms. Attention is earned, you know." "FOR US?! We were meant to be! Look at what we've been through, and the sacrifices we made! I've been next to you as much as your two Stooges have! You would've have stayed a hulking oompa loompa if not for me! Did you really decide it was time for us to split cuz you were embarrassed to be with me?! You always take pride in your work, reaching out for that number one! Even while we were dating at that time, you still couldn't stand seeing me ahead of you! Is that it, Neutron? You don't want me cuz I'm not good enough for you, and you feel you're smarter than me?!" "Even though that fact is valid, that's not the point!"

Jimmy admitted; He thinks he's smarter than her. Hearing that come out of his mouth made Cindy believe her side of the argument was true. She was much more angrier at him than before. She balled up her fist. Swinging a blow, she gave Jimmy a punch in the gut. She hit him so hard, she flung him out of the two doors, sending him flying to whoever knows where. Jimmy didn't even get the chance to explain more. Well, it's not like Cindy would've listened, anyways. After that commotion, Libby provided her with some comfort.

"Ya know, Cindy, as much as I agree with you, and what Jimmy did was unforgivable, but he's right on one part: You'll have to get over it. Just look at you!" "I can't seem to get over it! You wouldn't understand. I've always looked at me and Jimmy as a perfect pair, only for him to have it all thrown away. Months of tender loving care put to waste. This aching won't stop until he feels the pain I'm enduring!" "Vandalizing his lab, letting out his secret, sending an angry mob on him, etc., aren't you even satisfied?" "It's not enough, Libby. Somehow, all of those weren't really what I've been looking for. I wanna hurt him good, send him crawling on his knees. None of those felt like punishments, just child's play." "(That is one thirsty chick.)" "So far, I've run out of ideas. Do you have any suggestions, Libs?"

As if on cue, Nick Dean entered the Candy Bar. Cindy began to set a gaze on him, trailing her eyes all over him as she watched him walk forward. He passed their table and headed up to the counter, his usual seat. Of course, Cindy exclaimed, jealousy is the perfect revenge! Just the remedy she needs. Nick was her first crush, back when she and Jimmy were still rivals. She was always fascinated with him for his distinctive qualities; Tall, perfect hair, warm scent, carefree attitude, dresses nice, and everything else that Jimmy lacked. Nick is the most popular guy in school, and he was a must-have to all the girls. Dating him would possibly be the biggest F-U to her ex. She'll have Jimmy begging her to take him back. It's time to give Neutron a taste of his own medicine.

"Wish me luck, Libby!" "Wait, what are you doing?" "Watch me!"

She strutted her way over to the counter, looking her most sultry. Nick ordered himself a large root beer float, slurping it through a bendy straw. Cindy, now sitting right next to him, introduced herself with a simple "Hi!" The surprise made Nick choke on his drink, but he still managed to swallow afterwards. He was now face to face with her.

"Hey, Cindy. Can I help you with anything?" "Yes! You know recently me and Jimmy had eventually split our ways, so that means I'm a free bird once again!" "Good for you." "I was wondering, Nick. Do you have any plans this week?" "Not much I even care about. Why do you ask?" "Well, how would you like to-" "Wait a minute. You're asking me on a date, aren't you?" "Why, yes! Yes I am! You have just been asked by a smart and pretty girl! We could visit a concert, eat out at Paste Pot's Pizza Palace, and maybe sneak into a PG-13 movie!" "No." "No one's gonna catch us." "I mean, 'no.' I'm not interested. Sorry." "But... I'll pay for it all, if you like!" "Money is the least of my problems." "I'll do your homework!" "Already got some geeks on board for that." "I- I know how to access Neutron's lab!" "Listen, Cindy: You're a good girl, but I'm afraid you're not my type. You're too smart for me. Plus, isn't it a little too insensitive to date another person after you've just broken up with someone?"

Cindy felt her heart drop to her stomach. She got dumped by two men. How embarrassing. Angered, she stormed out of the Candy Bar.

"UGHHHHHHHHH! MEN ARE SUCH PIGS!"

As soon as Cindy left, Sheen popped up from under the table where Libby sat. He wrapped an arm around the confused girl, speaking sweetly to her.

"I thought she'd never leave." "Sheen, go home." "Okay."

And so Sheen did. Nick, on the other hand, was still slurping from his throat. He thought about Cindy. She was upset, but Nick didn't care. He thought Jimmy did make the right choice, knowing how their relationship didn't function properly. Nick didn't reject Cindy because she was too smart, but because she was a girl. Boys are his main preference, though nobody knows that. Cindy's no longer in the way, but that doesn't mean Nick will make his move at that opportunity. For all he knows, Jimmy could end up with a new girl. He's still weighed down over the conscience of his sexuality. Single or not, Jimmy must be straight anyways.

[justtextmeoppa]

❝ No one can touch you. ❞

Plot: When you was kidnapped but your boyfriend Yoongi is one of the most influent boss in Seoul.

Pairing: YoongixReader

Words count: 1,9k

Warning: Slightly mention of blood; 

For @esu333; i hope you like it! M. 

Gif isn’t mine, credits to the owner! 

The italics part is a flashback! 

The soft light was the only thing you could see. Choking, you had something down in your mouth, you tried to move but your attempts were completely useless. Between the folds of the hood you wore, you perceived blurred voices. Something, in your mind, continued to echo because they were particularly familiar.  

Taking stock of the situation, you realized you were sitting. At least you weren't dead, you thought in relief.  

"Don't try... There is no use Y/N " Someone muttered into your ear; "I'm sorry... I asked them not to hurt you. " He added with a low tone.  

"KyunSoo?" You murmured, your voice emotionless.  

"Really Y/N.. I would have preferred not to resort to this. "  

Your mind started racing, hectic and fast. If KyunSoo was in front of you, the reason could be just one. He had a score to settle with Yoongi.  

Sighing, you start fidgeting in your chair but a hand gave a hard shoot on your head, provoking you a groan of pain.  

"Stop Y/N.. don't make things difficult. " He warned you, but you did not have the slightest intention to listen to him.  

No one could give orders to you.  

The sounds around you were flushed and these makes you realize that you are locked into some soundproofed room. No one wanted to make you hear what was happening outside or to allow others to hear you.  

Cursing softly you started rubbing your hands together, in a desperate attempt to pull them from the interweaving of ropes that held them tight.  

"When they tie your hands with a triple knot, you can't do anything but just broken two fingers of your hand and your wrist to set you free."  

Yoongi's voice, in the days when he was explaining and repeating concepts familiar to him, it was not to any help at that time. Holding back the tears you tried once again to remove one of the two hands, but a violent blow against your chest stopped you instantly.  

"This bitch," someone unknown said vehemently; "Why don't you just kill her??" The person added lost patience.  

You did not recognize him, but you know he has no power over KyunSoo. He is the boss, he has always been. In your mind began to appear the memories of your days in College, you would never have thought he would become one of the most influential gangsters in the city.  

He was sweet, friendly and charismatic. Now he was just known for the highest amount of deaths associated with his name.  

"Did you have managed to reach him?" Kyunsoo asked, bored voice, and your heart will lose some beat.  

You did not want Yoongi to be involved, you would rather die than put him in danger.  

"Kyunsoo... What do you want from Yoongi? " You asked, holding the hot tears that itched your eyes; "I can give you what you want. I have my money, I swear. "  

A broke sigh between you lips caused you a chill down your spine; because you know that nothing would have distracted him from his goal.  

"What is mine, Y/n. I swear you won't be hurt if he cooperates."  

"And if he won't cooperate...?" You asked with another tremble into your voice, reprising the attempt to free your hands from the grip.  

"You are going to die."  

Not that you were surprised by his words, you were well aware of how that world worked. And yet you did not care to die if the man you loved was safe.

His hands started to rush on your neck, laying on your hips while forcefully you were attracted, making crush your bodies. It was the first time that you let him bring so much to you. Always too far away but connected in ways you couldn't explain.  

"Do you know that if you stay with me, you could often risk your life?"  

"I don't care, Yoongi" You muttered onto his lips, without taking your eyes off his.  

His eyes didn't leave a moment, glided lenses on each stroke of your face, provoking you the most intense sensations ever.  

"I promise you one thing, Y/N". He added with a serious tone, cupping your face in his hands by tapering and delicate fingers.  

A strange trait for the most feared of all boss in Seoul, but you had always loved his hands.  

"What?" You raised an eyebrow in a curious expression. 

"I would never let someone lay a finger on you. And if it, for a mere twist of fate, happen... They'll no longer have their hands or their lives to do it again. "  

That particular moment in your relationship made space in your mind and a quite feeling invaded you. He would protect you, you could even hear that the situation would end soon.  

So you renounced completely to free yourself from the ropes, your body is relaxed and even your heart slowed his beats. You felt completely different and it was the thought of Yoongi to help you; knowing he would save you.  

"Y/N, are you okay?" The voice of Kyunsoo brought you back to reality and you shake your head, just too tired of that hood on your face.  

The man in front of you understood the situation and decided that maybe wouldn't have been a danger discovering your face. You were well aware of why you were there, seeing them in the face wouldn't have changed anything.  

The newfound "freedom" allowed you to understand, finally, where you were. There were not a lot of clues, the bare walls and just a desk where Kyunsoo was sitting, checking documents that you couldn't see from where you are.  

"Kyunsoo?"  

"Huh?"  

"He will hurt you. " You were warning him, even if he did not deserve this at all.  

His laughter filled the air immediately, while your eyes rested on him and you observed with disgust.  

"I'm not afraid Y/N; not of him. " He reassured, a frown amused onto his face.  

"You should." You added, still teasing him in pride.  

One thing that you had understood of those men was just that; they were incredibly sensitive and proud. Hurting them at that point and they could become incredibly weak or ruthless killers.  

"For now, your dearly beloved did not give signs of life."  

"He will."  

                                           ___

The posture in which you were started to hurt a few hours earlier, but you did not stoop to complaining. Your mouth was closed for that entire time, while your legs became weaker and weaker and the pain in your wrists grew.  

Suddenly a dull thud made you to lift your face, turning towards the thick door that divided you from the rest of the world.  

No shot, no amount of screaming. There were total silence and disappointment surrounded you because if it had been Yoongi the screaming would not be missed.  

"Didn't they tell you how to treat a woman? A woman that didn't belong to you." An icy voice, steeped in anger, rang out in the speakers making you lose a couple of heartbeats.  

He was there, he had not broken his promise.  

Kyunsoo began to look around, visibly frightened, by pulling the gun out of the holster inside his jacket. You smiled and began to experience a feeling different. For the first time, despite you always kept hidden your fear in front of Yoongi, you are not scared by the "work" of your man. For the first time, you are relieved, because otherwise, he would never be able to save you.  

The door, only wall between you and freedom, collapsed after a few moments, perhaps thanks to a minimum dose of an explosive charge. The smoke filled the room, provoking you a slight coughing while your eyesight was completely blurred.  

"Kyunsoo, I thought you were smarter than that."  

"Yoongi... One more step and I'll kill her. "  

The barrel of the gun is pointed at your temple and you froze immediately, while the smoke was starting to branch.  

"Yoongi ..." Your whisper reached the man, standing at the door with the gun lowered against his side.  

His gaze was completely emotionless on the outside. You were the only one who could see the anger that burst in his eyes and a shiver down your spine shook and assured you at the same time.  

"Touch her again and I swear, Kyunsoo--" He began to mean with icy tone; "in less than three minutes you'll be dead."  

"I die, she dies. You know I'm a trigger happy, don't force me to hurt her. "  

"You have exactly ten seconds to let her go."  

He was calm, so calm that managed to soothe you. His voice had the power to be a soothing for you and this time was no different.  

"One." His cold tone had become lethal.  

"Give me what is mine Yoongi."  

"Two."  

"Yoongi.. Could you just go straight to three instead of waiting up to ten? " You asked, completely drained of all energy.  

You did not want to die, but if it had to happen you would have preferred a quick thing.  

"Whatever." He Murmured, this time a hint of amusement in his voice.  

You closed your eyes to hear a gunshot, not knowing if it was the Yoongi's one or the Kyunsoo's one directly to your head. You were prepared to impact so you have curled up about, but you could not feel any kind of pain.  

Slowly you unfold the left eye, just to see blood splatter on your hands. But it was not yours and this was a huge relief, so much so that you felt the adrenaline begin to slip away from your body.  

"Baby, I'm here... I'm here. "  

You raise your eyes and when you saw at that time of the aggressive tremble that was shaking you, accepting with gratitude the loving touch of his hands on your face.  

"I'm here babe, sorry it took me so long." He whispered, while one of his men entered the room and immediately freed your hands. "What did he do? See your face... God, I'm going to kill him. "  

"Y-Y-you have already done so, Y-Yoongi.. "  

"I'm going to kill him again just for daring to touch you" he hummed on your lips, finally relieved to see that despite all you were alive.  

He put his hands under your armpits after they finally had freed your hands and feet, lifting you effortlessly and clutching firmly against his body.  

Crying is liberating, hot tears flowed fast on your cheeks still stained with blood, while he rocked you gently.  

"It’s okay baby, everything is over."  

"You’re here... you’re really here. " You managed to say through tears and sobs, hiding your face in the crook of his neck and the collarbone.  

"I promised two years ago. No one can touch you without lost their life. "

[theconservativebrief]

For as long as television has been around, most American TV shows have obeyed one rule: The show must go on.

This means that no matter what befalls a series — from a contract dispute causing the studio to fire the leading lady from a show named after her, to arguments over pay leading to the Dukes of Hazzard being replaced by their cousins, to countless examples of shows that have had to make cast changes when actors left because they got bored or were fired or even died — that series will continue in some form.

Often, it will become a misbegotten hybrid version of itself. But every so often, a show’s retooling, forced by the network or undertaken by showrunners desperate to make a series work, might lead to something better than what existed before.

Look no further than internet favorite Parks & Recreation for an example of a show that kept tinkering with its formula all the way into its third season, until it attained its final form. Fan favorite characters like Ben Wyatt (Adam Scott) and Chris Traeger (Rob Lowe) didn’t join the cast until the end of season two, and on their way in, they saw original character Mark Brendanawicz (Paul Schneider) make his way out. And that’s to say nothing of the many tiny tweaks to the show’s premise and characters that its writers made throughout its run.

But occasionally, a TV show falls apart under such spectacular, headline-generating circumstances that its return — under whatever form it takes — is tracked with fervent anticipation, less because anybody hopes it might be good and more because we’re morbidly curious to see what happens.

That curiosity is why the first episode of The Conners — ABC’s Roseanne-less spin on Roseanne — should draw a large audience for its first episode tonight. But if those viewers stick around, it’ll be for one simple reason: The Conners is pretty good.

The Roseanne revival was the biggest show of the spring. ABC

In case you’ve somehow forgotten the particulars of the Roseanne firestorm that took place over three months earlier this year — yes, it took place over just three months, and it took place earlier this year — the basic contours of the story are pretty simple.

ABC decided in 2017 to bring back Roseanne, the hit series that ran from 1988 through 1997 in its original incarnation. The series had always been blunt about what it’s like to live in the United States without a lot of money, and in its best seasons, it was as good as any show had ever been at confronting the ways that oppressive systems conspire to keep people in the lower classes from climbing the economic ladder, and looking at how racism and sexism too often divided those lower classes.

Roseanne Conner — the “fictional” Roseanne — was a riff on Roseanne Barr’s standup comedy, but as the series continued and Barr gained more and more power over her fictional self, she pushed the series in a bolder and brasher direction. It was a progressive series, in the sense that it was tuned in to big-picture issues and more often than not took a left-leaning stand on those issues. But its politics always followed from its characters.

So bringing back Roseanne in 2018 made a certain amount of sense. And it also made a certain amount of sense that Roseanne Conner would be a Donald Trump supporter in 2018. After all, plenty of lower class white people, bristling with racial resentments, voted for Trump in 2016. There was just one problem: Barr herself was a big-time Trump supporter, and her support frequently took the form of alt-right conspiracy mongering.

It didn’t matter. Not really. This new spin on Roseanne debuted to massive numbers (more than 18 million live viewers!) in late March, and Barr’s status as perhaps the most famous Trump supporter in Hollywood ignited a long series of arguments revolving around whether the fictional Roseanne’s similar Trump support, much milder in fashion than the real Roseanne’s Trump support, was an irresponsible gloss meant to cover up Barr’s tweeting of conspiracy theories.

But the ratings were great. The show was, by some metrics, the number one show on TV in the 2017-’18 TV season, and ABC was a network in desperate need of a hit. Despite the presence of much-in-demand actors like Laurie Metcalf, John Goodman, and Sara Gilbert in the ensemble cast, who might have balked at returning for another season but evidently didn’t, Roseanne was renewed for a second season. Everything was going perfectly.

And then Barr tweeted something racist, comparing Valerie Jarrett, a former Obama aide and a black woman, to a monkey. She seemed contrite at first, then offered a variety of excuses — including that Ambien had made her do it and that she didn’t know Jarrett was black — but the damage was done.

After a matter of hours, many people associated with the show had spoken out, Barr was fired, Roseanne was canceled, and network television had seen its most unlikely series end in decades. (It’s worth noting here that ABC president Channing Dungey is a black woman herself.)

Yet over the weeks following the end of Roseanne, those involved in the show kept wistfully saying things along the lines of, “Boy, wouldn’t it be great if there could be some sort of spinoff?” This hinted that talks were already in progress to create just such a spinoff, and eventually, The Conners — about the Conner family sans its matriarch — was born.

It’s a cynical cash-grab, and one that might not even work. How many people were watching Roseanne’s return to see a prominent Trump supporter own the libs? And how many people were watching Roseanne because they liked its title character? However many, ABC has to be hoping there are enough people who were watching Roseanne for something other than its title character to make The Conners a modest hit. And here’s the twist — it deserves to be.

The cast of The Conners — notice anybody missing? ABC

I liked new Roseanne a fair amount, but it eventually stomped all over at least some of its promise, as Vulture’s Kathryn VanArendonk pointed out in a review of the finale (which ended, somewhat improbably, with the Conners being saved from a massive flood by a Trump-ordered deployment of FEMA). Like the original series, the 2018 iteration of the show still contained moments of stark desperation, of caustic humor directed at the dire financial straits the characters found themselves in. But it never quite worked its way up to calling out the star on her bullshit, either in reality or on the show itself. It always felt like a half-measure of a show, even in its very best installments.

I’m not sure The Conners — of which I’ve seen two episodes — is the full measure, but it’s at least three-quarters of a measure. Without Barr sucking up all of the oxygen in the show (and its marketing), The Conners is better able to realize much of what the new Roseanne was aiming for: to tell stories about how lower-class white Americans find themselves drifting further and further from whatever American dream they thought might be theirs.

Suffice to say, a lot of the show’s success in this regard is linked to how it chooses to write out the character who once gave the series its name. I’m unable to tell you just how Roseanne leaves the franchise, but the choice The Conners makes gives its terrific cast (especially Goodman, Gilbert, Metcalf, and Lecy Goranson) some stellar material to play. And that choice similarly zeroes in on what the show was at least trying to say back in its incarnation as the most recent (and ultimately final) season of Roseanne.

For one thing, The Conners doesn’t try to force political or social issues into episodes with the frequency that Roseanne did in the spring. Yes, those issues are still present, because they inform the tapestry of the Conners’ lives. But the show’s conflicts are often more rooted in just how far behind the family is on its bills, or in a character’s drinking problem, or in a growing divide between ex-spouses, rather than whatever’s in the headlines.

They aren’t timely issues, because they’ve existed as long as humanity has. But by placing them in the context of this family, at this particular point in time, they take on the feeling of timeliness, while allowing The Conners to divorce itself from lots of fights over Trump.

The two episodes I screened also made me laugh quite a bit. None of the jokes are going to be all-timers — okay, maybe one line about Pierce Brosnan will make it into the time capsule (it’s in the second episode that was screened for critics, which looks to be the fourth to air) — but the characters have a warm and funny way about them that the original Roseanne had in spades and the new version too often replaced with mean-spirited insults and the like. While the characters still tease and insult each other incessantly, there’s more warmth to it.

Plus, not having Roseanne around has given The Conners a stronger spine, while also giving much of the supporting cast more to do. Metcalf and Goranson are the chief beneficiaries, both receiving plenty of great moments throughout the two episodes screened, but Roseanne’s absence also allows Goodman and Gilbert to move to the show’s center as a man learning to rethink his entire life and a woman who aimed to leave her past behind but ended up trapped in the life she was trying to escape.

The Conners isn’t afraid to push for big, emotional moments, and its more dramatic sequences are often stronger than the jokes. If you have any affection for these characters, I can’t imagine you won’t be moved by what they go through.

But that gets at the very question now driving this franchise — how much of the success of new Roseanne stemmed from it being a solid, sturdy version of a big, hit show from TV’s past, and how much of it stemmed from the star becoming Hollywood’s stalking horse for an unpopular president that, nevertheless, has a deeply committed fan base?

Did the people who watched Roseanne in 2018 really want a thoughtful show that tackled the social and political issues of the day via beloved TV characters, or did they just want a TV star who was angry, because they, too, felt angry?

The fact that there are plenty of great TV comedies tackling social and political issues without nearly the viewership of Roseanne doesn’t bode especially well for the former option. But for the sake of The Conners earning the chance to further sharpen its voice, I hope it’s the latter.

The Conners debuts tonight on ABC at 8 pm Eastern.

Original Source -> How the Roseanne revival evolved into The Conners — and became a better show in the process

via The Conservative Brief

[7r0773r]

Demons by Fyodor Dostoevsky, translated by Richard Pevear & Larissa Volokhonsky

Abroad, Shatov had radically changed some of his former socialist convictions and leaped to the opposite extreme. He was one of those ideal Russian beings who can suddenly be so struck by some strong idea that it seems to crush them then and there, sometimes even forever. They are never strong enough to master it, but they are passionate believers, and so their whole life afterwards is spent in some last writhings, as it were, under the stone that has fallen on them and already half crushed them. (p. 30)

***

“Each man cannot judge except by himself,” [Kirillov] said, blushing. “There will be entire freedom when it makes no difference whether one lives or does not live. That is the goal to everything.”

“The goal? But then perhaps no one will even want to live?”

“No one,” he said resolutely.

“Man is afraid of death because he loves life, that’s how I understand it,” I observed, “and that is what nature tells us.”

“That is base, that is the whole deceit!” his eyes began to flash. “Life is pain, life is fear, and man is unhappy. Now all is pain and fear. That’s how they’ve made it. Life now is given in exchange for pain and fear, and that is the whole deceit. Man now is not yet the right man. There will be a new man, happy and proud. He for whom it will make no difference whether he lives or does not live, he will be the new man. He who overcomes pain and fear will himself be God. And this God will not be.”

“So this God exists, in your opinion?”

“He doesn’t, yet he does. There is no pain in the stone, but there is pain in the fear of the stone. God is the pain of the fear of death. He who overcomes pain and fear will himself become God. Then there will be a new life, a new man, everything new . . . Then history will be divided into two parts: from the gorilla to the destruction of God, and from the destruction of God to . . .”

“To the gorilla?”

“. . . to the physical changing of the earth and man. Man will be God and will change physically. And the world will change, and deeds will change, and thoughts, and all feelings. What do you think, will man then change physically?”

“If it makes no difference whether one lives or does not live, then everyone will kill himself, and perhaps that will be the change.”

“It makes no difference. They will kill the deceit. Whoever wants the main freedom must dare to kill himself. He who dares to kill himself knows the secret of the deceit. There is no further freedom; here is everything; and there is nothing further. He who dares to kill himself, is God. Now anyone can make it so that there will be no God, and there will be no anything. But no one has done it yet, not once.” 

“There have been millions of suicides.”

“But all not for that, all in fear and not for that. Not to kill fear. He who kills himself only to kill fear, will at once become God.”

“He may not have time,” I observed.

“It makes no difference,” he replied softly, with quiet pride, almost with scorn. (pp. 115-16)

***

(Stavrogin) “You seem to be very happy, Kirillov?”

“Yes, very happy,” the latter replied, as if making the most ordinary reply.

“But you were upset still so recently, angry with Liputin?”

“Hm . . . now I’m not scolding. Then I didn’t know I was happy yet. Have you seen a leaf, a leaf from a tree?”

“I have.”

“I saw one recently, a yellow one, with some green, decayed on the edges. Blown about by the wind. When I was ten years old, I’d close my eyes on purpose, in winter, and imagine a leaf--green, bright, with veins, and the sun shining. I’d open my eyes and not believe it, because it was so good, then I’d close them again.”

“What’s that, an allegory?”

“N-no . . . why? Not an allegory, simply a leaf, one leaf. A leaf is good. Everything is good.”

“Everything?”

“Everything. Man is unhappy because he doesn’t know he’s happy; only because of that. It’s everything, everything! Whoever learns will at once immediately become happy, that same moment. This mother-in-law will die, and the girl will remain--everything is good. I discovered suddenly.”

And if someone dies of hunger, or someone offends and dishonors the girl--is that good?”

“Good. And if someone’s head gets smashed in for the child’s sake, that’s good, too; and if it doesn’t get smashed in, that’s good, too. Everything is good, everything. For all those who know that everything is good. If they knew it was good with them, it would be good with them, but as long as they don’t know it’s good with them, it will not be good with them. That’s the whole thought, the whole, there isn’t any more!”

“And when did you find out that you were so happy?”

“Last week, on Tuesday, no, Wednesday, because it was Wednesday by then, in the night.”

“And what was the occasion?”

“I don’t remember, just so; I was pacing the room . . . it makes no difference. I stopped my clock, it was two thirty-seven.”

“As an emblem that time should stop?”

Kirillov did not reply.

“They’re not good,” he suddenly began again, “Because they don’t know they’re good. When they find out, they won’t violate the girl. They must find out that they’re good, then they’ll all become good at once, all, to a man.” 

“Well, you did find out, so you must be good?”

“I am good.”

“With that I agree, incidentally,” Stavrogin muttered frowningly.

“He who teaches that all are good, will end the world.”

“He who taught it was crucified.”

“He will come, and his name is the man-god.”

The God-man?”

“The man-god--that’s the whole difference.” (pp. 237-38)

***

(Shatov) “. . . The aim of all movements of nations, of every nation and in every period of its existence, is solely the seeking for God, its own God, entirely its own, and faith in him as the only true one. God is the synthetic person of the whole nation, taken from its beginning and to its end. It has never yet happened that all or many nations have had one common God, but each has always had a separate one. It is a sign of a nation’s extinction when there begin to be gods in common. When there are gods in common, they die along with the belief in them and with the nations themselves. The stronger the nation, the more particular its God. There has never yet been a nation without a religion, that is, without an idea of evil and good. Every nation has its own idea of evil and good, and its own evil and good. When many nations start having common ideas of evil and good, then the nations die out and the very distinction between evil and good begins to fade and disappear. Reason has never been able to define evil and good, or even to separate evil from good, if only approximately; on the contrary, it has always confused them, shamefully and pitifully; and science has offered the solution of the fist. Half-science has been especially distinguished for that--the most terrible scourge of mankind, worse than plague, hunger, or war, unknown till our century. Half-science is a despot such as has never been seen before. A despot with its own priests and slaves, a despot before whom everything has bowed down with a love and superstition unthinkable till now, before whom even science itself trembles and whom it shamefully caters to.” (pp. 250-51)

***

(Shatov to Stavrogin) “You’re an atheist because you’re a squire, an ultimate squire. You’ve lost the distinction between evil and good because you’ve ceased to recognize your own nation. A new generation is coming, straight from the nation’s heart, and you won’t recognize it, neither will the Verkhovenskys, son or father, nor will I, for I, too, am a squire--I, the son of your serf and lackey Pashka . . . Listen, acquire God by labor; the whole essence is there, or else you’ll disappear like vile mildew; do it by labor.”

“God by labor? What labor?”

“Peasant labor. Go, leave your wealth . . . Ah! you’re laughing, you’re afraid it will turn out to be flimflam.”

But Stavrogin was not laughing. (pp. 255-56)

***

(Stavrogin) “You seem to be very offended with them, Marya Timofeevna?”

“Who, me? No,” she smiled simpleheartedly. “Not a bit. I looked at you all then: you’re all angry, you’re all quarreling; you get together and can’t even laugh from the heart. So much wealth and so little joy--it’s all loathsome to me. . . “ (p. 274)

***

“[Shigalyov’s] got it all down nicely in his notebook,” Verkhovensky continued. “He’s got spying. He’s got each member of society watching the others and  obliged to inform. Each belongs to all, and all to each. They’re all slaves and equal in their slavery. Slander and murder in extreme cases, but above all--equality. First, the level of education, science, and talents is lowered. A high level of science and talents is accessible only to higher abilities--no need for higher abilities! Higher abilities have always seized power and become despots. Higher abilities cannot fail to be despots and have always corrupted rather than been of use; they are to be banished or executed. Cicero’s tongue is cut off, Copernicus’s eyes are put out, Shakespeare is stoned--this is Shigalyovism! Slaves must be equal: there has never yet been either freedom or quality without despotism, but within a herd there must be equality, and this is Shigalyovism! Ha, ha, ha, so you find it strange? I’m for Shigalyovism!” (p. 417)

***

(Pyotr Stepanovich) “ . . . I’m a crook, really, not a socialist, ha, ha! Listen, I’ve counted them all up: the teacher who laughs with children at their God and at their cradle, is already ours. The lawyer who defends an educated murderer by saying that he’s more developed than his victims and couldn’t help killing to get money, is already ours. Schoolboys who kill a peasant just to see how it feels, are ours. Jurors who acquit criminals right and left, are ours. The prosecutor who trembles in court for fear of being insufficiently liberal, is ours, ours. Administrators, writers--oh, a lot of them, an awful lot of them are ours, and they don’t know it themselves! On the other hand, the docility of schoolboys and little fools has reached the highest point; their mentors all have burst gallbladders; everywhere there is vanity in immeasurable measure, appetites beastly, unheard-of . . . Do you know, do you know how much we can achieve with little ready-made ideas alone? When I left, Littré’s thesis that crime is insanity was raging; I come back--crime is no longer insanity but precisely common sense itself, almost a duty, at any rate a noble protest: ‘But how can a developed murderer not murder, if he needs money!’ And this is just the fruit. The Russian God has already folded in the face of ‘rotgut.’ The people are drunk, mothers are drunk, children are drunk, the churches are empty, and in the courts it’s ‘two hundred strokes, or fetch us a pot.’ Oh, just let this generation grow up! Only it’s a pity there’s no time to wait, otherwise they could get themselves even drunker! Ah, what a pity there are no proletarians! But there will be, there will be, we’re getting there. . .” (p. 420)

***

I have already hinted at the fact that various trashy sorts of people had appeared among us. Always and everywhere, in a troubled time of hesitation or transition, various trashy sorts appear. I am not speaking of the so-called “vanguard,” who always rush ahead of everyone else (their chief concern) and whose goal, though very often quite stupid, is still more or less definite. No, I am speaking only of scum. This scum, which exists in every society, rises to the surface in any transitional time, and not only has no goal, but has not even the inkling of an idea, and itself merely expresses anxiety and impatience with all its might. And yet this scum, without knowing it, almost always falls under the command of that small group of the “vanguard” which acts with a definite goal, and which directs all this rabble wherever it pleases, provided it does not consist of perfect idiots itself--which, incidentally, also happens. (pp. 461-62)

***

(Stepan Trofimovich) “. . . I do not wish you much happiness--it would bore you; I do not wish you trouble either; but, following the people’s philosophy, I will simply repeat: ‘Live more’ and try somehow not to be too bored. . .” (p. 491)

***

(Kirillov) “. . . God is necessary, and therefore must exist.”

(Pyotr Stepanovich) “Well, that’s wonderful.”

“But I know that he does not and cannot exist.”

“That’s more like it.”

“Don’t you understand that a man with these two thoughts cannot go on living?” (p. 615)

***

(Kirillov) “. . . If there is no God, then I am God.”

(Pyotr Stepanovich) “Now, there’s the one point of yours that I could never understand: why are you God then?”

“If there is God, then the will is all his, and I cannot get out of his will. If not, the will is all mine, and it is my duty to proclaim self-will.”

“Self-will? And why is it your duty?”

“Because the will has all become mine. Can it be that no one on the whole planet, having ended God and believed in self-will, dares to proclaim self-will to the fullest point? It’s as if a poor man received an inheritance, got scared, and doesn’t dare go near the bag, thinking he’s too weak to own it. I want to proclaim self-will. I may be the only one, but I’ll do it.”

“Do it, then.”

“It is my duty to shoot myself because the fullest point of my self-will is--for me to kill myself.” (p. 617)

***

“. . . Listen,” Kirillov stopped, gazing before him with fixed, ecstatic eyes. “Listen to a big idea: There was one day on earth, and in the middle of the earth stood three crosses. One on a cross believed so much that he said to another: ‘This day you will be with me in paradise.’ The day ended, they both died, went, and did not find either paradise or resurrection. What had been said would not prove true. Listen: this man was highest on all the earth, he constituted what it was to live for. Without this man the whole planet with everything on it is--madness only. There has not been one like Him before or since, not ever, even to the point of miracle. This is the miracle, that there has not been and never will be such a one. And if so, if the laws of nature did not pity even This One, did not pity even their own miracle, but made Him, too, live amidst a lie and die for a lie, then the whole planet is a lie, and stands upon a lie and a stupid mockery. Then the very laws of the planet are a lie and a devil’s vaudeville. Why live then, answer me, if you’re a man.” (p. 618)

***

(Stepan Trofimovich) “. . . I’ve been lying all my life. Even when I was telling the truth. I never spoke for the truth, but only for myself, I knew that before, but only now do I see . . .” (p. 652)

***

(Stepan Trofimovich) “. . . And now a thought has occurred to me; une comparaison. Terribly many thoughts occur to me now; you see, it’s exactly like our Russia. These demons who come out of a sick man and enter into swine--it’s all the sores, all the miasmas, all the uncleanness, all the big and little demons accumulated in our great and dear sick man, in our Russia, for centuries, for centuries! Oui, cette Russie que j’aimais toujours. But a great will and a great thought will descend to her from on high, as upon that insane demoniac, and out will come all these demons, all the uncleanness, all the abomination that is festering on the surface . . . and they will beg of themselves to enter into swine. And perhaps they already have! It is us, us and them, and Petrusha . . . et les autres avec lui, and I, perhaps, first, at the head, and we will rush, insane and raging, from the cliff down into the sea, and all be drowned, and good riddance to us, because that’s the most we’re fit for. But the sick man will be healed and ‘sit at the feet of Jesus’ . . . and everyone will look in amazement . . .” (p. 655)

***

(Stepan Trofimovich) “My immortality is necessary if only because God will not want to do an injustice and utterly extinguish the fire of love for him once kindled in my heart. And what is more precious than love? Love is higher than being, love is the crown of being, and is it possible for being not to bow before it? If I have come to love him and rejoice in my love--is it possible that he should extinguish both me and my joy and turn us to naught? If there is God, then I am immortal! Voilá ma profession de foi.” (p. 663)

***

“On the contrary, total atheism is more respectable than worldly indifference,” [Tikhon] added, gaily and ingenuously.

“Oho, so that’s how you are.”

“A complete atheist stands on the next-to-last upper step to the most complete faith (he may or may not take that step), while the indifferent one has no faith, apart from a bad fear.” (p. 688)

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Will my car insurance pay to fix the damage that i caused accidentally?

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I am a full-time student who desperately needs health insurance. I posted a similar question but haven't received any answers. My job won't offer any health benefits for a whole year (Wal-Mart). I buy Concerta from the pharmacy. My college offers no health insurance and nobody I talked to knew what to tell me. Can anyone recommend a plan? My job is only part-time so I need something cheap or affordable that will help cover my medication. Please help. I have no idea how to do this. D:

Getting Health Insurance?

When I move out with my boyfriend can I be on his health insurance plan without being married?

Divorced Parent's Car Insurance?

I'm under my mothers car insurance policy, so does that mean if i drive my fathers truck and I get into an accident, Were not covered? and does someone in your immediate family need car insurance when driving it if you are the registered owner""

What's the most expensive comprehensive car insurance ever in the U.K.?

What's the most expensive comprehensive car insurance ever in the U.K.?

What are rates for car insurance?

I'm trying to answer a question for drivers ed about car insurance. I'm supposed to answer what rates are for a first time driver (just getting their liscence), what rates would be for someone who hasnt taken driver's ed, what are the rates for a 25 year old, what are rates for a person without drivers ed, and what are rates for someone convicted of driving while intoxicated. its not in my book, so i dont know how to answer it, but im trying to answer the questions based on full coverage.""

How much is your liability car insurance?

price per month? your age? your state? car year and model?

""If someone is driving your car and they get a ticket, does it affect your insurance rates?

Will it make your insurance higher?

What is group insurance n?

does anyone know what group insurance n is???

Do you need insurance to drive a motorcycle?

and at what cc is considered a motorcycle? do u need any kind of insurance? i know u need a license i live in gainesville fl where do i get class for one?

Car insurance!! :(?

Right...Passed my test.. got myself a lovely corsa sri 1.4 16v But i cant get it bloody insured with a good quote! Best ive found was quinn-direct with 2700 per year.. thats with pass plus? does anyone know some really good car insurance companies that will insure me for that kinda car? baring in mind im only 17 =[ Thankssss.. Any help greatly appreciated!

What type of businesses that are good to call for all kind of insurances?

Like Health Care Insurances, Life Insurances, Employee Benefits""

In the state of il. If ur parents give u a car in their name. Do u need to have the car insurance in your name?

Does the car insurance have to be in ur name to be able to drive da car if u are under the age of 18 . Or can u drive da car on ur parents name on der insurance.?

How can i get health insurance?

Hello I am 18yrs old and i am trying to get health insurance. I am a full time student. My mom is does not have health insurance either, Her income is really low and i dont have any income coming in.. Is there a health insurance that is right for me? Please answer""

Who is the cheapest car insurance in USA ?

Ihave finicial problem right now ipay for six month liability $ 300 it us too much for me is there any body knows less than that price iget please let me know?

Temporary auto insurance for move?

I'll be moving to Oakland California from Phoenix Arizona and I was wondering if there is such a thing as temporary auto insurance. My vehicle is not currently insured, but I can get a temporary registration from AZ DMV. That would allow me to drive my car for my move. I will be pulling a small utility trailer. I don't want to get a full 6 month insurance policy because as soon as I get to Oakland, I won't be driving the car at all. Are there any insurance companies that offer a really short policy (2 days, or maybe a week) ? I only need insurance for those two days, and so that I can get temporary registration from the DMV. Does anyone know if such a thing exists, and if so what company?""

Can my mom insure my car if her name isn't on the title?

Right now I am driving a car my mom bought so only she is on the title and she insures it. I just bought a new one and was wondering if I put the title of the car in my name, can she insure it under her name. I just turned 19 and if I got a policy by myself in my own name I would have to pay more than twice as much as I do now (I give my mom the money for insurance its just under her name).""

Insurance for first car?

Im thinking about buying a 00-04 S2000 or and 99-04 Mustang GT. I live in georgia..17 almost 18 with a flawless driving record. My parents and i use geico insurance. I am a car enthusiast and i love performance.

Will my car insurance pay to fix the damage that i caused accidentally?

i am no the insured on the car i live in mass, my dad owns it ,,,i was at market masket shopping and when i left to drive aay i forgot there was a cement median divider in front o me couldtnt see it from the inside of the car it was about1 foot tall however i went striahgt hit it and turned a inch right and destroyed my rocker panel on the drivers side and in turn it smashed in the bottom of the car door cant open it at all i have full coverage on my auto insurance will they pay for it,,i will have to pay the 500$deductable....

Looking for affordable medical insurance plan for my husband. he is 31. please suggest?

Looking for affordable medical insurance plan for my husband. he is 31. please suggest?

Car insurance question?

Can I have insurance in my moms name on my car but get it registered and plated in my name?

Geico home owner's insurance?

Anyone out there have Geico for home owner's insurance? Are they good? Ever had a claim and how did they handle it? I refuse to use Statefarm after how they handled Katrina, or ...show more""

Insurance for bmw 328i for a 16 year old?

Can anyone tell me an estimate of how much insurance would be for a 16 year old female for a 2011 or 2012 BMW 328i? I get all A's and B's ( i heard that you get a small discount on insurance for good grades). thank you!

How can a college student find an affordable therapist?

I'm 18 and still under my parent's insurance coverage. I have loads of issues including social anxiety, and I think that I'm starting down the path to clinical ...show more""

How much does GEICO car insurance cost per month?

...it a kia the 2011 sportage car

Average car insurance for 21 y/o f?

my fiance and i are planning to buy a used car soon, and we were wondering about how much car insurance would cost us. the insurance would go under my name, but it would cover him as well. we are both 21. neither of us have had an accident. we both have pretty good credit. i've had no tickets, he's had 3, each in a different state (they were only minor speeding tickets). he's had his license since 17 y/o and i've had mine since 18 y/o.""

Cancel Geico Insurance Online?

Is it possible to cancel my insurance online?

Car insurance coverage help!?

So my car was hit by someone and they left, basically a hit and run, and I reported it to my car insurance company. They gave me a price on how much they're going to cover for the repairs that are going to follow. So my question is, is the price they gave me (ex. $700) the total amount of damage that was made in that accident? Or are they just covering part of the repairs expenses and I have to use my own money to repair the rest?""

Where can i get insurance for my Aixam ?

On a full uk motorcylce licence category B1. a number please ! thanks

What is the best car insurance for beginner drivers/young drivers 16 year olds?

I am getting my licence at the end of january and need car insurance. What are the best insurances. Some have discounts for good grades

Canceling car insurance?

im 19 and have had car insurance for 4 months or so. i had a bunch of money from working with my parents.( own their business). well there business is bad due to the economy. plus a month ago i injured my ankle bad and it still gets a little swollen if im on it for long periods of time. so i cant get a job unless its one where im sitting and there isn't much with just sitting. so i have been thinking of canceling my insurance till my ankle is better and get a job then. my question is how much will my insurance go up when i get it again? my parents are saying its bad too do but i don't see any other option. if i don't cancel it the insurance and gas will drain my bank account in a couple months and i wont have a choice but to cancel it...

Will my parents car insurance go up if they co sign for me?

I have my own car and need car insurance but I need my parents to co sign for me. I'm getting a different insurance company from what my parents have on a different everything. Will them co signing for my insurance affect their insurance with anything? Like will their insurance go up because they co sign for me? Or if I get a ticket or in a wreck will it raise their insurance costs? We live in the USA.

What is car insurance premium tax?

My car insurance renewal notice is comprised of the insurance itself (540.00), car hire (28.25), credit charge (48.30), and Insurance Premium Tax (34.10), giving a total of 650.65. Is the insurance premium tax some type of scam to get me to pay extra or is it a government tax, like VAT (I thought VAT would be included in the 540.00)?""

Can you get insurance with a suspended license?

i asked a question earlier about my friend's loser bf who has a suspended license and says he is going to buy a car from a used car dealer my friend (who is stupid) is going to get him the loan to pay for the car he says HE will pay on the loan (i doubt it) i say you need insurance for a car loan but she may just get him just a loan i dunno what that means anyway i know you need proof of insurance for a car loan he says he has been forging his insurance for years i still say they are going to check on it for the loan again i am trying to prove him wrong but can a person get car insurance with a suspended license?

""What car do you drive, how old are you and how much do you pay for insurance?

I need a few questions answered. 1. How old are you? 2. What car do you drive? 3. How much do you pay for insurance?

What to do if someone doesn't want to use car insurance to pay for accident but pay privately?

Someone just rear ended me. There are deep scratches on the bumper. He has car insurance, but doesn't want to use it. I got most of his information - driver's license #, car insurance info, ect. What are the steps I should take? My car insurance company said I have to call in and report accidents as soon as they happen. Should I do this in case he doesn't follow through and pay me for repairs? Should I go get an estimate right now, and have him send me a check?""

What online auto insurance gives you multiple quotes and is free?

?????????? free quotes????????????????

Can geico really save you 15 or more on car insurance ?

Can geico really save you 15 or more on car insurance ?

Can I get my own insurance while employed?

My company lowered are insurance benifits. Can I buy my own insurance if I find a better deal?

Looking for cheap cars to insure?

Hello there, im 21 and looking for a cheap good runnin car! Thats cheap to insure! :) I dont like the old shape corses or nissan micras.. Ewww lol but really need a car asap! Any suggestions would be great n could u put make of car n model please? Thanks for reading! Lewis :D""

Does the monthly payment on a lease vehicle include taxes and car insurance?

I am looking to lease a car but I am on a budget. Ive been looking online at some people that want to sell or transfer their lease because I would only want it short term. Since lease cars are usually new insurance would be too much for me to pay, so I was wondering if a monthly lease payment includes it, and taxes.""

Can i get insured on my dad's car by a different insurance provider than his?

Hi! i just passed my driving test! and i rang my dad's insurance company and they said they can't insure because i'm a young driver and the car is too big for its a Peugeot with 4 door! so just wondering can i get insurance from another provider just for me on that car? is it legal and possible? what do you recommend?

Should I put a claim in with my auto insurance?

Today at a light a car rear ended me. My rear bumper has some small scratches and some paint marks from the other car. No dents or anything else. the car that hit me seemed to have worse damage to his front bumper. We called the police and they did a report. The other guy said he is not going to put in a claim with his insurance. He admitted fault and apologized over and over. I was wondering if it is worth me putting in a claim with my insurance? I don't want my rates to go up and even though I am not at fault, i wonder how aggressively my insurance will pursue a claim with the other guy's insurance since damage is so minor. I actually wonder if it was worth calling the police, when I really think about it. I was just shaken up at the time. I think re painting the bumper would actually be less than my deductible. I don't really have any pain and no noticeable injuries. I had a friend say I should put in a claim for minor back pain, but even if i was in minor pain, i have heard the 10,000 most companies give always go to lawyers and chiropractors I don't want to lie and don't want to spend time going to chiropractors too end up not getting anything and still having to pay to repaint bumper, have my rates go up and be aggravated. any advice?""

Scion tC...how much woul i pay monthly with car & insurance?

Im 19, been driving for two years, no accidents, no tickets or anything like that. I juss ont know how muc it woud be monthly. if anyone knows please.""

Will my car insurance pay to fix the damage that i caused accidentally?

i am no the insured on the car i live in mass, my dad owns it ,,,i was at market masket shopping and when i left to drive aay i forgot there was a cement median divider in front o me couldtnt see it from the inside of the car it was about1 foot tall however i went striahgt hit it and turned a inch right and destroyed my rocker panel on the drivers side and in turn it smashed in the bottom of the car door cant open it at all i have full coverage on my auto insurance will they pay for it,,i will have to pay the 500$deductable....

Does my car has to have insurance or do I have to have a new insurance for myself in order to drive in NJ?

I'm a bit confused about this issue. I have a permit and I want to do a road test in order to obtain the provisional driver license. The thing is that I heard a lot from people about insurance and now I'm that confused that I don't know what to do. Do I need to have insurance? or does my car need insurance? Can I be under my parents insurance? Would that be cheaper? Could you guys help me figure this out? All I want is to drive legally without any problems, and don't waste money. Could you give me some sources also? Thx ahead""

Car insurance for people who commute by train. Who does this?

I saw an ad on the underground advertising cheaper car insurance for people who commute by train mon-fri. Does anyone know who does this? Thanks

How much is insurance for a 15 year old girl?

I live in Denton, TX and I'm going to get my permit soon and my mom said I can't drive her car until I get insurance ! I started working recently and I can pay for it but i just need to know how much it is ! So can you please tell me the how much insurance will cost in Denton, TX for a 15 year old girl ! And also I want to save up to buy my car ! Whats some cute cars for a girl ! Something like a Altima or Fusion ! Thanks (:""

How can I obtain drivers insurance when neither parent has a license in California?

because insurance is a binding agreement that requires one parent to have a valid license, and neither of mine do, I cannot buy auto insurance. - My grandparents will not help me either I have 1000$ to buy insurance, and I will drive either way, insurance or not, is there any loophole around this law? thanks.""

How much does a full cover car insurance cost in north caroline ?

trying to move to NC but want to know about the price of a nissan altima 2005 4 door , the price for a full cover on my car how much would it cost me > I have it lease anyone knows ????""

What is the average cost to add a 16 year old to auto insurance?

I am 16 and I am trying to get my parents to let me get my license and put me on the insurance, but they think it will cost to much. I know it will cost more, but I don't know how much and I have an A average at school and I am a girl so that has discounts. I asked the insurance place but they asked to many questions so if you have a rough estimate that would be great.""

Is atheism a good substitute for affordable health insurance?

I know that many atheists in here pride yourselves on being far more logical and better prepared for the real world than religious people, and than Christians in particular. Does your lack of belief in God give you a special advantage in coping with medical emergencies and the financial expenses of medical emergencies, I wonder? Why or why not?""

Would my insurance policy rate go up?

If I report a hit and run to my insurance company would my policy rate go up?

Pls help me to find a cheap insurance in CAli?

Ive a dodge stratus that i bought in a rebate the title saids SALVAGE and I would like to quote something cheap with covarage to into tijuana or ensenada!! pls HELP!

Practice Test for Life Insurance License????

Does anyone know that website that has practice exams for the Life Insurance test? We used to go to it but now forgot it.

""Cheap Young Drivers Car Insurance in Leeds, U.K?""

I'm a 17 year old bloke who lives in Leeds and would like some help with car insurance. I haven't bought a car and Ive tried the usual 1.2 corsa, Ford Ka, Ford panda, Renault clio, vw polo, peugeot 106, daewoo matiz, Hyundai I10 etc I have also tried swinton, direct line, comparethemarket, go compare, AA, elephant, churchill, swift, young marmalade and many others but half of them wont insure me and I've got quotes about 7000+ I've tried the voluntary excess and even seen what its like with extra such as a garage, extra security features, pass plus etc. But when I changed the postcodes with my friend who lives round the corner - its dropped 2 grand!!! why??? can someone explain to me why this happened and can someone help me get any car since I haven'tt bought one yet to a reasonable price - I live in a fairly nice area too so I don;t understand why it is so much when some of my friends are getting their for 2000 ish :/""

I got a speeding ticket. Any estimate of how much insurance premium may go up by?

Got my first speeding ticket in Collingwood, Ontario. Drove 80km on a 60km limit road. Just wondering how much insurance premium rate can go up by... or is there any chance it won't? Would love to fight it, but I live in Toronto and the drive up there is a waste of 4 hrs/miliage/gas vs paying a $95 fine, losing 3 demerit points and having it on record for 3 years.""

My girlfriends has insurance for her vehicle but if she drive my car will he be insured?

I just got a new car and i chose esurance for my provider and she has statefarm for her car. According to esurance every driver i add to my insurance with cost me $40 more a month. so my question is if she drive my car will she still be insured by her insurance or do i have to add her to mine?

Good and Cheap insurance in los angeles??????

i need help!!! I need to find a good and reliable insurance for my car thats not expensive. Considering im 21 and just purchased a brand new honda 2007 civic and I live in Los Angeles....its going to be a mission to find a resonable one. So to those who were in my position and are getting a great offer from someone...please let me know!! :)

What is the best web-site to get insurance leads from?

mostly health leads, but some life leads""

How much would insurance be when you first sign up.?

well im about to turn 17 and the car i have is a 2000 pontiac gran prix with the 3.8L V6. i live in the city and my grade average is 89% and have allot of experience driving. id also only be driving to school and work about 15k a year. and currently the car has 160k on it. i hoping someone can give me a price of what it would cost me, as iv tryed to get insurance quotes online but never recive the quote itself.""

How does car insurance work?

I got my driver's license last January when I turned 16. Our family only drives one car. My dad has insurance for our car under his name. Do I need insurance under MY name to drive the car too?

Lower Home Insurance Quotes?

Would having a new roof, windows, garage door, updated kitchen. increase or decrease homeowner insurance quotes??""

Can i use a PO BOX for car insurance mailing address?

When i quoted my car insurance, i used my apartment address. After i bought the insurance, i asked them to change to PO BOX as my mailing address. Later on, when i moved to another apartment, i didn't update my current physical address with my insurance company because i am using my PO BOX as my mailing address so far. My question is if somehow i get a car accident, will the insurance company deny my claim because of not telling them the current physical address? Additional information the past and current of my apartment address are still in the same state, Texas.""

How is charging insurance based on age and gender NOT discrimination?

Car insurance and health insurance always use your age and gender for a basis on how much your charged along with other factors. How is this not discrimination?

How much would motorcycle insurance cost for a 17 year old with a 01 Suzuki Katana 600 in Texas?

I am looking into getting one and want to know how much the insurance would cost.

""I'm moving to another state. How long do i have to get proof of insurance, new drivers license, etc?""

How long do i have to complete the entire process of getting new proof of car insurance, attaining a new drivers license, registering my vehicle, and getting new license plates? I have looked on the dmv website and i am more confused now then before checking the website. The website claims you have 60 days to get your new drivers license but, you have 30 days to have your vehicle registered. This cannot make any sense because in order to have your vehicle registered you must have a valid drivers license in that state (at least for the state i'm moving to). Can someone shed some light on this topic and how long on average an individual has to complete this entire process? thanks!""

How much pain and suffering from my auto accident?

In Feb (2 months ago) I was rear ended at an intersection by a drunk driver. It was 3pm, I was on my way to class, and he hit me out of nowhere. This was his second offense. He was arrested that day on DUI/drug charges. He was fully insured by Nationwide Insurance. Turns out he has a LONG list of driving violations, speeding tickets, and such. I was taken by ambulance to the hospital, and then went again the next day. I have been to my medical doctor and chiropractor since then. I had never been in the hospital before, or to a chiropractor, and my neck/back are now messed up. I have had a MRI, and a ton of prescription. I have lost the natural curve in my neck, my vertebra are out of alignment, and I am having BAD, BAD headaches. I had $3000 damage to my car, and over $5000 in medical bills. How much pain and suffering can I get? Until this point, I was healthy, and fit. Since then, I cant work out at the gym, and Im getting headaches which affect my concentration, and sometimes my vision... Im only 24. What am I entitled too?""

Best insurance?

Best insurance?

Where do I find the group number on All kids family healthcare insurance card?

Hello, I'm filling out a student medical form for school, and it asks me for my insurance company's group number. I have All Kids healthcare insurance. Can anyone tell me where is it located?""

Will my car insurance pay to fix the damage that i caused accidentally?

i am no the insured on the car i live in mass, my dad owns it ,,,i was at market masket shopping and when i left to drive aay i forgot there was a cement median divider in front o me couldtnt see it from the inside of the car it was about1 foot tall however i went striahgt hit it and turned a inch right and destroyed my rocker panel on the drivers side and in turn it smashed in the bottom of the car door cant open it at all i have full coverage on my auto insurance will they pay for it,,i will have to pay the 500$deductable....

Insurance when renting a car? Waste of $$?

I'm 22 yrs old, renting a car from enterprise in 5 wks. On a budget and trying to cut costs, was wondering if the insurance they offer is really necessary, or just a waste of money. I currently have progressive insurance on my vehicle. Can I add this rental to my insurance for a cheaper rate? Or is insurance even an absolute MUST. Realistically, how often is it actually used? Any answers would help! 10 pts""

I need cheaper car insurance?

hi there.. im 19 years old and ive been driving 1 year and ive had 1 claim against me. when i 1st started driving i paid 1600 for the years insurence..now it has gone up to 1900 cheapest on compare the market. is there any insurence company or brooker who can give me a quote for 1600 or less who specialise in young drivers who have had a claim? please help me asap as I am really depressed about this

Aircraft insurance rates with DUI/DWI charge?

If one is a partner in a small aircraft, what effect does a potential DUI/DWI have on aircraft insurance rates?""

My car was wrecked and the insurance company paid to have it fixed. Now they have found something they missed?

After paying out around 12,000 to fix my car (body damage only, but new car so everything came from factory) we found out there is something else that needs to be fixed and because the car is so new and they don't make parts for it, whole transmission needs to be replaced, even though nothing it actually wrong with it. Now insurance wants to total my car. I have gap coverage and want to know my options if i would like to keep my car and have transmission fixed myself. At first insurance told me they would pay off car, I keep it and get settlement money, then they told me no settlement money, but I would get to keep car with salvage title and it would be paid off, now they are saying they r trying to make sure I can keep it at minimal cost to me . The lien holder says if the insurance pays it off, they (lien holder) will not allow me to keep the car. If the insurance pays for it, isn't it their option to allow me to keep the car or not? What are my options?""

Car insurance for teen?

ok so i am going to get my drivers license tommorrow, and my mom brought up the whole insurance thing. my question is, i dont have a car of my own yet so i would have to drive my mom's in her words (IF i let you drive at all)--how stupid is that?!? anyways. would she have to change anything about her insirance if im driving her car and have been since ive had my permit, or can she leave everything as it already is???""

How much would it cost to own a porsche boxter a year? pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... answer. i beg to you?

a 2007 model, 3.5l, if i drive around 20000 miles a year. include insurance, tax, maintenance, repairs, etc. would 5000 british pounds be enough""

How much is insurance for a street Motorcycle ?

How much would it cost me monthly for insurance on a street motorcycle. Original cost of motorcycle 4,500. I'm under 18 and have a GED hope that helps. Thanks""

When was car insurance for teens increased?

I was wondering how long and in what year was car insurance for teens increased? links would be very helpful... Thanks All!

What kind of health insurance should I get?

I'm 20 I live with my parents we have U visas I know I don't qualify for Medicaid but I know we have to get insurance or pay the fine. What are my best options? Something affordable. Any advice would help because I know nothing about this! Thank y'all

Insurance in Queens?

I live in Queens, New York (I'm 27). I have a Toyota Camry 1997. I only have liability insurance but for some reason I pay ridiculous insurance - I pay around $330 a month (have ...show more""

How cheap could i get insurance?

im 17, gonna be 18, no parking violations tickets or accidents whatsoever. the reason i ask is because the state i live in requires insurance.""

How much is insurance on a 125cc?

WhAts a average insurance price for a geared 125

A quick question about car insurance?

now that I have your attention I have a serious question I need help with. Right now i'm 24, and I will be 25 in a few months. Like many young people I have been paying high car insurance rates, and have been looking forward to the quarter life insurance break. The only problem is that within the last year I've racked up 3 points on my drivers license due to an accident and a speeding ticket. Does this ruin my chances for getting a break, or will my break be less significant?""

Car insurance question?

I'm 16, and im currently driving my parents car to and from school. im insured as a full time driver and have been driving since February. at the end of the summer i plan on buying my own car, and i was wondering if we cancelled my insurance on my parents car for me, and insured me on the new car would it cost more or less than it is now?""

""If i take drivers ed now, will my car insurance rate go down?""

I got my g2 a month ago without taking drivers ed, however I heard that insurance rates are cheaper if you've taken drivers ed, so my question is, if i go and take drivers ed now will my insurance rate go down? Or is it too late?""

Women drivers to pay more on car insurance?

Women could face considerable hikes in their car insurance premiums after the European Court of Justice ruled that insurance companies must stop charging different rates for men and women despite the fact female drivers are statistically less likely to be involved in an accident. What do you think about the verdict? Personally i agree. I don't think insurers should be able to discriminate against anyone because of things they have no control over like gender, race, religion etc.""

Maternity and Health Insurance?

If you have health insurance but do not have maternity insurance. Does the health insurance cover any of the hospital. etc fees? Example...Hospital stay?

Car insurance/ car accident?

i got into an accident i was at fault for failure to yield, my car got damaged badly she hit me going about 40 my front bumper is all smashed and my headlight fell out could cost 2500 or more my insurance is only liability, how does this work my insurance covers her vehicle and vice versa or what?""

What is a non-standard property/casualty insurance company?

How can you find out if your insurance company is non-standard? What makes a company non-standard?

Cheap Car Insurance in Fl?

I'm a 17 year old girl and I have a 95 Pontiac Firebird . What are some super cheap car insurances in Florida . I just need the basic coverage , like just the state minimum . Can somebody please tell me some cheap insurance companies !""

What Insurance Agency Will Cover Salvage Rebuilt Cars?

I own a 2001 Ford Focus that I'm just now finding out is a Salvage Rebuild vehicle. I switched from the New York State insurance to Geico because it was cheaper, but Geico doesn't cover salvage rebuilds (I only found out it was a salvage rebuild because it was on my title). I purchased the car from my great-grandmother, who purchased it from a dealership in 2004. According to them, they do not sell salvage rebuild cars, but lo and behold, it is a salvage rebuild (from NJ!). I need an insurance company by the 9th of this month that isn't going to cost me an arm and a leg for a downpayment ($298 for GMAC... eesh). Does anyone know of what insurance agencies DO cover salvage rebuilds and are online?""

""After the insurance adjuster gives an estimate on the damages on my car, whats the next step?""

My car was hit by a van and the vans insurance company is paying for everything. I recently got a call from a body shop saying they received the estimate cost for the damage of my car. My question is: if I find another body shop to fix my car for less then the insurance company estimated, what happens with the left over money? Do they keep it or I do?""

How much is your car insurance if your a male teen?

im looking to get car insurance for my car and i dont know how much it cost i dont want a quote because all they do is send crap in the mail but if your a male teen how much are you paying a month for your car insurance? and what type of car do you have.

Provisional Car Insurance?

I am currently looking for car insurance on a car I own, The car is an 04 punto. Basically I need provisional insurance for a month and I own the car so I need a policy that covers both of these, I am 18, Any suggestions? Thanks""

Can an insurance co suspend your liscense ?

the insurance co is threatening that a suspension is in progress if a payment is not made. payments have been made for the past 3 years but now they want the remaining 2000, and said they can suspend the liscense. Is this true? in the state of CA""

Will my car insurance pay to fix the damage that i caused accidentally?

i am no the insured on the car i live in mass, my dad owns it ,,,i was at market masket shopping and when i left to drive aay i forgot there was a cement median divider in front o me couldtnt see it from the inside of the car it was about1 foot tall however i went striahgt hit it and turned a inch right and destroyed my rocker panel on the drivers side and in turn it smashed in the bottom of the car door cant open it at all i have full coverage on my auto insurance will they pay for it,,i will have to pay the 500$deductable....

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/add-teen-auto-insurance-policy-please-help-beland-rajka"