#only a tiny bit though
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Identifying details redacted, best i could

Can anyone please tell me what the fuck went wrong?
The only thing that is different from my irl speech to texting is the presence of actual punctuation marks and emojis from time to time.
I interacted with this person 2 times, they then asked if I'd like to go have a beer sometime, i say sure, lets figure it out next time. 1 interaction, (nuthin) on the second I ask for their number. This is the resulting convo.
#dunno if they will see this#dont fucking care#im so confused#people#peopleing#so angry#and confused#and annoyed#like why#but being left on read#i would have taken an 'haha jk lets meet xyz'#im a big girl#that still feels like yuck#dont worry#ive already learned my lesson#i dont typically shit where i eat#this is why#ive stepped in it#only a tiny bit though#gonna be real easy to call them out next time i see them#dating#small towns#jobs#work#dumb#texting is the worst#texts
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aaaaaaa okey I ordered the speaker and the star projector. (and a beauty blender and a neck support and the new volume of yona and the garbage disposal cleaner matt wanted.) it was still only $35 actually out of pocket and I get my allowance in the morning which will completely replace that amount. I will definitely like the speaker and if I don't like the star projector arin will.
#yes this did take me an entire week#I don't like spending money. I like having money and I like having things.#but I must spend money to get things.#but I have had a very draining weekend and I deserve nice things and that's what gift cards are supposed to be for.#(frankly even if nice things do need to be earned which is a notion that deserves to be critically examined)#(depending on how one defines 'nice things')#(I have more than earned all the nice things I could ever want between keeping other people alive and keeping myself alive.)#(we glamorize Big Actions way too fuckin much btw but that's tangential off the 'keeping other people alive' thing)#(Big Actions often have the smallest fuckin impact tbh. they mean nothing without thousands of small actions.)#I very nearly didn't order the projector but it's late and I'm in my room alone and I turned the lamp off early#so that no one can tell I'm still up since my brother is still here#and it's just a tiny bit too dark for being awake purposes#only a tiny bit though#there's good light through the window because of the courtyard#and the projector has an auto-off#idk I think it's worth trying. if I like it they can give me extra discs for it for christmas#and if I don't I can give it to arin#the notion that I can try stuff without 100% Committing Forever is. not one I grew up with.#like. mom started me on piano lessons for my 9th birthday cuz I'd mentioned it at some point#and I faithfully attended every week (barring schedule conflicts or illness) until I moved away for college at 19.#you had to promise you really wanted something for real if you were gonna get it and god help you if you were wrong.#even though neither of us were prone to tantrums or greed even without those tight boundaries.#(and even though she did not hold herself to that standard at all from what I can see.)
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very strongly feel that moist/adora is the only actual romantic relationship terry pratchett ever wrote.
#what if you were an inveterate liar in love with the first woman whose principles you couldn't compromise#the fact that her principles are nonsensical sort of strangely skewed and radical does not affect this at all.#......I'm reading making money which is surprisingly robust; I remember it being weaker back in the day;#but it's got the plotting of thud with 40s film patter and I like it very much.#there's a whole scene where moist introduces adora to hubert; the pale undersocialized economist who lives in the basement#and she comments essentially ''why are only men like this?''#and moist carefully doesn't point out that ''earns a tiny wage for golems'' ''puts up with vandalism and violence for golems''#''camps in the wilderness investigating a millennia-old song she can't hear for golems''#is different but not really that different. it's very romantic.#(......to be fair sam/sybil gets more robust as it goes on too; it's just thin as paper for a bit.#sybil spends a couple of books being pretty unhappy.#I do find this compelling though; it's just not as straightforward as liar4corkscrewy rebel smoker.)#discworld
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👀 and 💭 for Coostruck ^^
>>> kirby ship ask game here જ⁀➴ ♡!
9. 👀 What do other characters think of their relationship? Do they approve or disapprove? and 11. 💭 Do they have a favorite memory involving their partner? + an anonymous ask for 18. 💓 How did they tell their friends that they were together, or is their relationship a secret?
well, i wouldn't say it's his favourite memory, but...


he won't be forgetting it anytime soon. kind of a continuation of this and this!
for an avian this is tantamount to your boys finding that super secret book of terribly cringe poetry and song lyrics you've been writing about one specific person. nuclear event for coo "i'll just keep it all bottled up right here and then one day i'll die" the owl.
*✩˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ valentines shipaganza masterpost ✩˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ ⋆˙⟡
#asks#my art#my comics#starstruck dee#coo kirby#rick kine and coo#gravitational collapse#🎀💖#actually been sitting on this one for a year but this was a perfect opportunity to finish it!#with this coo rises to a special shipaganza position of being the only participant to have Two Comics!!#great work buddy! now to see if you can be normal about it for a Second! 😂#i want to clarify that this is not like... a physically intimate thing that he's embarrassed about. it's just Really Cringe.#and it's only Really Cringe because he's been fervently denying feeling a thing about anyone ever.#rick will be like “starstruck looks cute today” and coo will be like “WHO'S STARSTRUCK!!!”#otherwise it would be the chillest thing ever. rick and kine would be his wingmen or they'd all go out together. like it's whatever!#it's only embarrassing because coo himself has made it embarrassing. mola mola sized L#oh yeah uh!! those are my designs for them i guess!!! rick is small (compared to kine) but he's not Crazy Tiny like a real hamster#(even though i drew him looking a bit more like one for fun).#but i figure he must be something similar to daroach. alien rodent!#ANYWAY. coostruck nation eating really great this february!#i've been feeling quite productive!! thank you everyone for engaging and being so supportive!!
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the circus is coming to town, and what a selection of curiosities it has... 🎪
As soon as I saw the posters @amielot drew for the circus in their Horse Girl AU, I knew I had to try my hand at coloring them in! This AU has stolen my entire heart— if you haven't looked through the AU comics yet, DO THAT RIGHT NOW!! THEY'RE EXCELLENT!!
This poster is my colors on @amielot 's drawing, using @aquabluejay 's summoning circle asset in the background :) Insp under the cut—
Colors and textures were greatly inspired by painted circus/carnival posters, especially this one:
#the sandman#morpheus#dream of the endless#dreamling#horse girl au#dc#okay im going to tag this as—#rex draws#— but i cannot emphasize enough: I ONLY DID THE COLORS!!!!#THE DRAWING & DESIGN IS ALL AMIELOT!! OFC OFC#i started this in like. sept 😭 got too busy and only just cleaned it up. also started on an absolutely tiny tiny canvas#so even though the dpi is like. 350 or smth.. its a bit fuzzy oops. but it adds to the vibe!! yeah.#ANYWAY THIS IS SO FUN CHECK OUT THIS AU AND THE COMICS AND ALL THE FUNN DRAWINGS#ITS SO COOL AND WELL COMPOSED#ABSOLUTELY ICONIC NEVER DONE BEFORE STUNNING#centaur dream AU#amielot
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Books of 2025: May Wrap-Up.
Good reading month, in terms of both quantity and quality (many four-star reads, good daisychain flow between books)! Great adulting month (more on this later)!! Even got some good knitting and writing in!
Here's what I read (photos/reviews linked):
GHOST OF THE NEON GOD ★★★★ Impulse buy; wasn't expecting it to worm into my brain but it did. Not perfect, but I had fun! Funny, fucked up, weird--you know my lifestyle.
CATCHPENNY ★★★★ Kitchen sink book (affectionate) about a washed-up thief who can travel through mirrors and doomsday cults and art and a missing teenager, exactly tickled my ODD THOMAS buttons, fucked up and funny and weird.
THE SAINT OF BRIGHT DOORS ★★★½ I really wanted to love this, but it didn't quite stick the twist!ending landing for me. I admire his ambition and his worldbuilding; excited to see how the author grows. Overall a good time.
MINIMIZING MARRIAGE ★★★ Snagged this from the library for Aro Reasons (Brake coined the term "amatonormativity" and discusses its implications with regards to marriage specifically). Chapter 4 was excellent; the rest of it was interesting but not what I was after. Very readable volume in a Feminist Philosophy series.
BRIGHT ★★★★ Thai novel in translation (first one written by a woman!), been on my radar for years. Lovely translation, lovely tonal balance (sweet moments + melancholy; it's a story about an abandoned 5/6-year-old, but it felt Authentic instead of Saccharine or Depressing). Definitely keeping an eye out for her other work in English.
THE LUMINOUS DEAD ★★★★ I didn't mean to binge this in less than 24 hours on a three-day weekend, but Here We Are. This is We Support Women's Wrongs: Cave SF/Horror Edition. Propulsive, tense, claustrophobic, deeply fucked up.
Under the Cut: A Note About ~*★Stars★*~
Historically, I have been Very Bad™ about assigning things Star Ratings, because it's so Vibes Heavy for me and therefore Contingent Upon my Whims. (Example: I don't like that stars are Odd, because that makes three the midpoint and things are rarely so truly mid for me)(I have hacked my way around this with a ½, which is really only applicable for me at ★★★ and up). Here is, generally, how I conceptualize stars:
��� - This was Bad. I would actively recommend that you do NOT read this one, no redeeming qualities whatsoever, not worth the slog. Save Yourself, It's Too Late For Me. Book goes in the garbage (donate bin).
★★ - This was Not Good. I would not recommend it, but it wasn't a total waste or wash--something in here held my interest/kept my attention/sparked some joy. I will not be rereading this ever. Save Yourself (Or Join Me In Suffering, That Seems Like A Cool Bonding Activity).
★★★ - This was Good/Fine/Okay/Meh. I don't care about this enough to recommend it one way or another. Perfectly serviceable book, held my interest, I probably enjoyed myself (or at least didn't actively loathe the reading). I don't have especially strong feelings. You probably don't need to save yourself from this one--if it sounds like your jam, give it a shot! Just didn't resonate with me particularly powerfully. I probably won't reread this unless I'm after something in particular.
★★★½ - I liked this! I'll probably recommend it if I know it matches someone's vibes or specific requests, but I didn't commit to a star rating on Goodreads. More likely to reread, but not guaranteed.
★★★★ - I really enjoyed this!! I would recommend it (sometimes with caveats about content warnings or such--I tend to like weird fucked up funny shit, and I don't have many hard readerly NO's). Not a perfect book for me by any means, but Very Good. This is something I would reread! Join me!!
★★★★★ - I LOVED THE SHIT OUT OF THIS, IT REWIRED MY BRAIN, WILL RECOMMEND TO ANYONE AND EVERYONE AT THE SLIGHTEST PROVOCATION (content warning caveats still apply--see 4-star disclaimer). Excellent book, I'll reread it regularly, I'll buy copies for all my friends, I'll try to convince all of Booklr to read it, PLEASE join me!!
#books of 2025#books of 2025: may wrap-up#ghost of the neon god#t. r. napper#catchpenny#charlie huston#the saint of bright doors#vajra chandrasekera#minimizing marriage#elizabeth brake#bright#duanwad pimwana#the luminous dead#caitlin starling#beginning to suspect that only my pictures of books that are Already Tumblr Popular get any notes at all btw#neon god was an exception this month but like. saint and luminous got interaction and the others really didn't??#something something i post for me but like. it's certainly something to write a review and get very little engagement.#idk how you artists and fic writers do it i couldn't handle it#ANYWAY#i really did plan on luminous dead taking me MUCH longer to finish. so i took this pic before the end of the month.#but then i had to select another book after i binged TLD in a day. so i picked something Slow so it wouldn't accidentally get finished eith#i really did enjoy daisychaining my way through all of these though that was fun!!#and wow i didn't realize i rated so many High this month#love that for meeeee#is it the Hope?? is it the Optimism??? is it the Escape Hatch????#The World May Never Know#this is a tiny bit early for me because i have been DULY (tri-ly?) ENABLED (thank you friends)
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Just my personal opinion, but I think Tuk is going to look so much like Neytiri when she gets older.
#mine#avatar edits#avatar explore page#new avatar blog#avatar for you#avatar the way of water#avatar 2009#new avatar writer#new writer#I see a tiny bit of Jake with the noses though#but only a little bit#avatar blog#avatar tuk#Tuk avatar#Neytiri Avatar#tuk edits#Neytiri edits#my edits#avatar theories#avatar community
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today’s thoughts are of chigiri having a crush on his sister’s friend
#pie.talk#maybe crush is too light a word lol he is obsessed#i also like to think it makes him sweat a little#like you only know him from the cutified little brother lense Koyuki has presented him in#like yes he is a professional football player and has a very confident personality and admirable drive#but he also believed in santa until he was like 11 and you probably hear a bunch of other stories from Koyuki#that paint him as a spoiled little brother with a questionable personality#i think u usually only tend to see each other when in the presence of Koyuki and i feel like he's a bit more squishy around his family#i do think he is still pretty bold and blatant about his affection for u since that's just who he is#but u also know a lot about him from a source he has no control over so i think that makes him maybe nervous? a little pissed off? lol#his worst enemy is the 'little brother hyoma' image that exists in your head thanks to Koyuki#like you smile at him or say something nice to him and it sorta makes him crash out. he needs you to like him for HIM not because of Koyuki#he is working overtime and okay maybe he is leaning into the younger brother image a tiny bit to worm his way into your heart more#lulling you into a false sense of peacefulness until he lays it on really thick (bam sudden corny kabedon idk) he WILL have you#if ur still here...#this is now the sengoku period au portion#you are the wetnurse for koyuki's son and you live at the chigiri estate tragic past etc the cw list is longggg#he's effected by an old knee injury and is coddled by his family because he's the heir so he's extra antsy and huffy#rules? him being the clan heir? ur respect and gratitude for his sister and wishing to repay her?#he does not care and he will have you#comes off way too strong it feels like you're being hunted even though he is respectful of ur boundaries to an extent#eyes too intense#words too bold and direct and when he finally touches you it's so passionate and reverent it feels like ur burning#all consuming#you love it despite feeling that you do not deserve it
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#a doodley#okkk 2022: the torture chamber....i only sparsely drew al and developed talon (he was borned...) bc my mind was occupied with other things.#2023: exiting torture chamber; it took me a tiny little bit to get back to drawing and ''interacting with'' al again but i did it even#though it was a reminder of the Bad bc he's my copium#summer 2023: i view and witness media and suddenly have like 5 fictional men i cant decide on which to focus... and september (talon month)#comes along so I decide to focus on Talon after not touching him much at all throughout the entire year#(forced this btw i did not wanna do it LOL i didnt even remember how to draw him)#september 2023 to now: talon has infiltrated the brain. but i want to swivel back to al#now: i've forgotten how to Talk to al (just like i did in beginning of 2023)#(and just like i forgot how to talk to talon for most of 2023)#so ive kind of just been replaying the smunker cow al daydreams from when they first met#so I can find my way back...retracing my steps#in doing so ive kind of also forgotten how to interact with talon but still havent gotten back to al#so rn my life is so boring without imaginary bf interactions. just the before sleep plot rehashing daydreams...#or sparse visions of em Sometimes#nobody in my brain rn just like the short period last yr and its distressing#what do i draw without a love obsession.....#how do i pass time without it....! so boring. idk what to do#i miss the me of several yrs ago when i was drawing 50 different aus with al....ive downgraded in skill and imagination and creativity#so bad since then. idk. idk. i hope they come back to me soon#maybe i shld just draw al a lot which is how i kickstarted caring abt talon again almost a yr ago ?#hoping i can get him to come back before my surgery i need my big sexy boy nurse for recovery#(complaining abt things usually fixes em for me so im hoping thats the case here)
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Doodles made in adobe animate to figure out how to draw there. Uhhh guess what audio these are from? Shouldn't be too hard...
#kamalemonsart#pmd2#dusknoir#grovyle#actaeonshipping#even though they're speedrunning a divorce#celebi#(she's only there once sorry.)#feeling a little bit better about this program. a tiny bit less like ripping my computer out and throwing the creator of this in a volcano
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study

They are 146% NOT into this. Maybe it's a perception glitch while sleep mode like a nightmare of a never dreaming machine or just an evil author.
Watching tutorials? ❌
Messing in the programm until I decide it looks okay? 🤝
(wow they are literally me; my state of mind; my last two braincells (please send help))

#ultrakill#v1 ultrakill#cw blood#a tiny bit#my art#i have zero thoughts#only refs from a friend#Gabriel though would really enjoy being allowed to do sth like this to V1#I think#so maybe V1 would allow him as a treat
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i cant lie, im also beating myself up about not being able to get excited for the new game, or anything anymore it seems, while it can be fun to criticise things, some things you just dont like so badly that the frustration knowing it could be so much better but isnt and you not able to change it outweighs any fun- i dont like being a 'hater', i hate totk, but not bc i hate zelda but bc i LOVE it and want it to be better (though im starting to doubt my ability to do anything good with it too..)
and with the new game trailer (like, i still hope its better than im fearing rn) i feel similarly as when the next totk trailers dropped after the first one (which DID excite me), all of them gave me a sense of dread bc it seemed to go into a direction i wouldnt like, i tried to tone that voice down to enjoy the game, but then .. i was right
i dont want to be an annoying complainer about everything new, but maybe i am and i dont like that thought, i dont want to spoil anyones fun, i want to partake in it :(
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#either way#i know im in a bit of a swamp of bad feelings rn so i dont trust myself and what i say fully#but i have been thinking about trying to only work on destiny in terms of fanart#and look at my original stuff and perhaps gamedev a bit more seriously#dont get me wrong im not 'leaving' the fandom#but the things i like are so few and tiny parts of old games that are pretty much irrelevant to the modern fandom#like trying to keep driving on tires even when they lost all their rubber#after botw and the first botw2 trailer i was so deep into the theories of it all- and now i dont even want to look at the thumbnails#(even if those were largely boring or kinda weird- i felt like i was taking part in a fun group about stuff i like? in a way?)#what scares me about doing more original stuff though is ...#even my fanart was niche and largely not “popular” so doing oc stuff might be even worse and idk if my frail self worth can handle that dro#and to the last point of the post itself................. maybe a fear of losing community too#like how in school you where at first a part of the class#and as you got older your classmates started to notice how different and weird you were#and then you were alone
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good egg alert!! i made myself a normal meal for breakfast/lunch today and i've done a little bit of writing and i'm about to queue up a couple of asks!!
#i can feel every day a little bit more energy!!#the only thing is that because i was so burnt out the little things are hitting me harder#like this morning i had intended to get back to more messages#but then i forgot a meeting i had with my solicitor and that made me have a little tiny panic attack#so all of my reserved energy has been depleted QUICK FAST#i'm excited though because i feel like every few days i gain another spoon#and every few days the spoons get depleted less!!#i'm still gonna take my supervisor's advice and keep myself off as long as i can#but i'm feeling ok!!#finnie shouts into the void
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some more divine warriors and a few of their gods . irene and menphia as well as some other figures in my rewrite , some forms for the nature gods that predate the divine. raiya, ai and dei'lune .
#mcd#minecraft diaries#aphmau#irene the matron#menphia the fury#her name isnt the fury here though erm shes menphia of the storm#and irene is Irena she is still the matron#this is like a tiny sliver of the . worldbuilding ive started for my rewrite its going insane but only my favourite people get to see#but i'll talk a little bit about stuff in asks if people have questions but . for now im just testing stuff out
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"true partner" click here for the uquiz created by @/niconicomuda on twitter
#morphomon#digimon#this was trending on twt a good few weeks ago#ofc me being me i wasn't there and only learned abt it bc a friend dm'd me about it lol#anyway i am very happy to get morphomon. though...#advanced apology for personal irl rambling that may be tmi ahead. and cw: death of family member#so like. i feel it turns out to be some life foreshadowing bc around a week later (which is last week btw) my maternal grandma passed#idk about u but if you know the symbolism of butterfly and morpho particularly. it's about change and rebirth and all that stuff#the funeral home we spent a few days in had the morpho butterfly as its logo. i couldn't stop thinking about it#so despite the sadness it's like idk. a tiny bit of hope i guess?#my grandma won't have to be in pain anymore#all the stuff is done by last saturday so everyone's back to their normal lives like it or not#still grieving a bit while at the same time being kinda ok. well it is how it is...#png#gif
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scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:

#i miss mitsumona… i love asumona y e s but mitsumona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#‘where were you when this part of idol sengen was being serialised?’ trapped outside due to regionlock s o b s#man… looking at idol sengen on piccoma again like. gosh. 7.9 million hearts/likes so trueeeee#which do you think we’ll get first: mitsuki mv (a la gijirenai) or idol sengen s2?#the crumbs we get of her in mona mvs isnt enoughhhhhhhh aaaaa#even a 1 image mv would do!!! just give us a tiny bit more of her plsssss#i wanna know what made mona such a huge fan of hers~~~~~~~#though. the way mona specifies that she only likes girl idols will forever be funny to me#she really can’t care less about lxl huh… so true of her tbh#girl idols are a m a z i n g (<-weakling who tears up while watching love live live recordings)#like. man. props to the casting directors or sth bc. m a n their stage presence is unreal for idol vas#like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa if you told me the vas were idols themselves id believe you#rkk was so cute. and aik.yan was super cool (esp during her solo) a n d ain.ya was both cute and cool and!!!!!!!!!#but um!!!! i digress!!!! anyways stan girl idols (esp mona) lxl w h o—#i think i’ll forever be envious of those who’ll be able to watch nan.su’s mona oneman live though… no foreigners allowed (how sad)…#though y’all should def check out some of nan.su’s other songs!! her powerful songs are so cool (imo)…#but i think she’s actually really good at singing songs with cheering/chanting portions lmfaooo the monachan lives on#i think hw should give mona more cool-ish songs though… let nan.su show off her range!!!#though. while im on the topic. i think sena should have cool songs too. narumi sisters cool song p l s s s s s#(bc my hot take over here is that hw doesn’t let their vas show off their full range *c o u g h s* i m e a n—)#what am i even on anymore h e l p started on mitsumona ended up in narumi sisters cool song desires…#anyways!!!! stream silent sword (both the og by ama.miya sora and the cover by nan.su) that’s all goodbye
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