#only by like 4 months but still. leo is 48 like

[akascow]

why am i older than leodicaprios new gf🧍🏻‍♀️

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 77. brb x oc

a/n: WE ARE ENTERING A NEW ERA GUYS!!! WOOOOOOOOO god IDK IF I SHOULD BE AS EXCITED AS I AM RN (jk yes i should) also I never moved in with anyone so.........uh yeah, if something is off then, you guys can tell me hah

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff??, Bea's brothers (esp Michael ) being a gd menace

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73/74/75/76

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

-

It took her a few calls to Gabriella, after looking at some more houses themselves, for her to contact the person responsible for that specific place. And within a few minutes, literally less than fifteen, they got their new place. It’d be free by the time their own leases were done with, just like they planned to and they couldn’t even believe it.

That house was within their budget and it was amazing to look at. Mediterranean-esque architecture in tones of terracotta and brownish yellow, with a big driveway- and a garage - that could fit two big cars there easily. And a pool. They got a pool! How hard is it to find a good house,with a good price with a pool?? Not even her parents had a pool! Not to mention the backyard was really big as well, with a patio that could fit quite a few people - especially when it came to her family.

Both Bea and Rooster couldn’t contain their smiles, high fiving each other and then Rooster engulfed her in a bear hug without any means of letting go. The lady responsible for the house was also very happy when she found out it’d be their first house together and said that they were just a cute couple of newlyweds. Neither of them corrected her, but both of them seemed to get sheepish when she said so.

Three bedrooms with a master suite that had a balcony that looked over the backyard and had a beautiful ocean view - not front beach propriety but definitely good enough for them. They were allowed to take Jolene on the visit, the pitbull confused as to why this brand new place was so empty, but her paws clicked on the wooden floors all the way to the grassy backyard. It wouldn’t be surprising when she immediately dropped on a sunny spot and there she stayed during the whole visitation, only getting up to get back inside the Bronco.

She was so happy she completely ignored how her phone kept buzzing and pinging with messages, breaking the lip lock she and Rooster shared to tilt her head to her phone on the nightstand, “Just a second,Roos.” he moaned in disappointment, keeping his face on the crook of her neck and his arms around her waist as she stretched herself the best she could to grab her still buzzing phone.

There were a few messages there: one from Shells in all caps about how she ‘NEVER SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MOVING IN WITH ROOSTER!!!’, one from Marcus letting her know the photos would be done by the end of the month and he’d send her some and the last ones…were from Michael. Her brother wasn’t one to send messages, he preferred calling or having a face to face conversation, so to her it was odd that he did. She noticed most of her siblings rarely texted, but especially Leo and Michael.

That was when his name, and picture, appeared on the screen, “Sorry Roos, Michael is calling.” she says, but doesn’t move his head away when he props his chin between her breasts, stretching the shirt on her bust, “Hello?”

“Hello sister, care to say why you are not at your house right now?”

Beatrice’s eyebrows furrowed, “How do you know I’m not at my house?”

“Because I’m standing in front of it like a goddamn idiot, knocking on the door and pressing the doorbell to receive no answer? Plus there’s no car in your driveway.”

“Wait, you are in Cali?”

“Yes. Didn’t anyone tell you I moved back?”

Beatrice’s eyes widened, pushing herself to a sitting position and in turn making her tall boyfriend roll to the side to give her space, “Moved back? Why? I thought you liked New York?”

“Eh, I felt like it. Plus a friend of mine offered me a job here so…I’m back home.”

“But why are you in front of my house??”

“Sheesh, can't I visit my little sister? Where are you anyway?” Beatrice opened her mouth to answer, but Michael cut her off “Ohhh, are you with Bradley, sis? I’m sooooorryyyy, I didn’t want to break you little romantic moment!”

“Michael-” her older brother, a man who was forty one years old, proceeded to make kissy sounds over the phone, much to his sister’s clear unimpressive reaction, “I stay with Brad sometimes, yes, that’s why I’m here.”

“Ohhhh, how romantic. Look at you, being married before marriage.” she didn’t know if Brad heard what he said or if her sudden intake of air made him suspicious but Michael joking about it was…clearly making something inside her turn, “Listen, Gui is helping me out with some stuff, moving shit around. I’ll see you later. Love you!!” 

“I love you too.” she hangs up the phone, seeing Rooster was now sitting against his headboard with his arms crossed and his lips tilted in a smirk, “Michael moved back to Cali.” he arches his eyebrows with surprise, “I never think he’d leave New York…but again, knowing him I shouldn’t be surprised.” he was too electric to stay in one place for too long and he was in New York for almost twenty years now.

“And he showed up at your place?” she nods, pushing herself to sit next to him against the headboard, placing her phone on top of her thighs and sighing softly, “It’s not so bad, is it? Having him back?”

“Oh no, it’s not. Michael is…a bit weird but he’s not a bad guy, you know?” she grins, her shoulders relaxing as she breathes out. Her mind going back to the new information they got earlier that day, her smile widening, “We really got a place. And it’s a pretty one.”

Bradley nods, “And it’s big.” their voices were breathy, almost dreamlike intonation because neither could really believe it was already done. He looked around his apartment, he spent quite some time there but he was happy to have a house once again, he liked this but he preferred the space a house would have. 

He’d have this week and the next one to arrange everything for the move, since half of the things came with the apartment he’d have just a few things to take care of. Imagining both of them carrying their things into the new house was probably one of his favorite things to think about right now.

It was exciting! And he knew it was a step in the right direction. He knew that this is what he wanted, and what she wanted too. It was soon compared to other people’s relationships, yes, but it felt right. “I have no idea where he’s living now, he said Gui came over to help him with the move.” Bea’s voice snaps him out of his thoughts, turning his head towards her with his eyebrow up, “God, can you imagine if he suddenly becomes my neighbor? Or…sort of neighbor since I won’t live there soon enough?”

He chuckles, leaning closer to kiss her cheek and pulling back his phone when he felt it buzzing in his back pocket, “I think we’ll figure out soon enough.” he looks down at the screen to check what it was, “Ah, Payback is asking if I want to play football with them.”

“When?”

“In a few minutes.” he smiles, “It’s been a while since we did.”

Beatrice looks back at the phone then at him, “Well, you should go.” she grins, pressing their shoulders together, “It’ll be fun! I can be your personal cheerleader.” she said it as a joke, obviously, but Rooster’s eyes left the phone’s screen to languidly rake down the side of her body, clearly imagining such a thing with a little smirk on his face.

“Is that a promise?” His voice sounded so much deeper than normal, almost like it was coming from the depths of his chest, heavy with the obvious innuendo within each syllable. Beatrice’s cheeks turned red, laughing softly before she pushed herself off the bed, Rooster’s eyes still following her as she walked into the bathroom, “You didn’t answer!” he calls by the time she disappears inside, only seeing a glimpse of her hair moving and the soft sound of her laughter.

He waited a bit before he tossed the phone to the side, walking up to the bathroom door where he leaned his shoulder against, watching Beatrice fixing her hair while looking in the mirror, watching his own reflection with a tilt of his head, “Aren’t you going to answer me? It was a genuine question.” her eyes rolled with a smile, followed by the subtle shake of her head, “You can’t do that, because now I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Beatrice just looks over her shoulder, smiles then gives him an innocent shrug, “Maybe it’ll be something to think about when we…christen the new house.” she bites her lower lip after saying it, watching by the reflection on the mirror how his eyes darkened and his form went completely rigid, only moving to step closer to her and to hug her from behind.

“Evil woman.” he coos against her ear, pressing her back flush against his front, loving how her smile immediately widened and she stopped combing her fingers through her hair, “Now I’ll never stop thinking about it.” Beatrice chuckles quietly, a little humming sound that sounded as sweetly as her giggles, “But I love you because of that.”

“Just because of that?”

“Well, it is one of the many reasons.”he says, kissing the curve of her jaw soundly, “But I’d like to have you there too. It’ll give me a moral boost.” she laughs again, lifting her hand to rub the side of his face, about to walk away but his arms around her waist prevented it.

“Roos.” she says while giggling, his arms having an iron grip around her body, she could feel him lifting her off the floor little by little, “You have to let me go.” but of course he didn’t, because why would he? Beatrice shrieked when her legs were in the air, holding tightly on Rooster’s arms to keep herself stable and not tumble forward, “Brad!”

“He said in a few hours.” was his only reasoning, dropping her back on the bed and crawling on top of her, “Which means we’ll have to celebrate how we just got ourselves a place of our own.” her cheeks reddened, by both reasons, leaning her head up to meet his lips halfway in a deep kiss that brought a soft sigh out of her. He pulls back only to lock the door and then return to his previous position on top of her.

Ever since last night, because everything was very intense and a lot of feelings were involved, something changed. Neither of them could say why, but something changed, like their connection got stronger than before. “Mm, Roos.” she calls his name in a soft whisper, arching her back just enough for his large hands to slide under her shirt and travel all the way up to the clasps of her dark red bra, fingertips barely touching the laced elastic, “I thought you said Payback told you to go there in a few minutes?”

“He can endure a bit of lateness on my part.” he answers with his lips touching the side of her neck ,”I’m sure he’ll understand.”

–

Watching Rooster running around in those jorts and shirtless was quickly becoming one of her favorite things. Not that what he did normally wasn’t her favorite already, but it brought many memories of watching him from afar like a lovestruck teenager. She’s on the seating area outside the Hard Deck, with Penny and Shells on another seat and, surprisingly but not really, Evelyn with her legs crossed by the knee on the one farthest away from them.

Every once in a while Rooster would turn his head towards her, smile and point as if to tell her to ‘pay attention’ before he got the ball. Beatrice only smiled alongside him, leaning on her hand with hearts in her eyes, watching her amazing, handsome and absolutely lovely boyfriend run around the beach with his friends.

She was so focused on Rooster she couldn’t see Shell’s shifty eyes moving to her, nor when she traded places with her aunt to sit right next to Beatrice, who suddenly felt a warmth by her side and looked to Shells with surprise, “Were you planning on, I don’t know, letting us know you were going to move in with Rooster?” oh. Oh she never replied to Shells. And her friend’s unimpressed stare was enough for her.

“Oh,I just…well, we wanted to keep it a secret until we settled everything.” she replied in an apologetic tone, smiling sheepishly at Shells’ narrowed gaze, “I was going to tell you guys,I swear…and well, now that we got the house I think it’s fair that everyone should know.”

“You guys already got a house?” Penny leans forward from behind her niece, gently pushing the pouting blonde back to the seat, “Congratulations Bea! When are you guys moving in?”

“In a few weeks,” Beatrice replies, interlacing her hands in between her thighs and inhaling with a smile,”It’s a really nice place, my cousin Gabriella helped us find it.” 

“You know what that means right?” Shells finally comes back, her lips no longer in an angry pout, “Housewarming party!”

While it was a great idea, Beatrice isn’t sure if she’d be able to do that. Especially since they were going to organize the furniture around the house and the house was very spacious. They’d only be able to actually furnish it completely in a few more months. She tells Shells that, but her friend just waved her hand as if she said something nonsensical, “Oh please, we’ll bring stuff and whatever, it’ll be fun!”

“I think Beatrice should be the one that decides that.” comes Evelyn’s calm voice from behind the brunette, her brown eyed gaze following Jake’s form as he ran on the beach, even with the sunglasses on her face it was easy to see she was admiring him. Penny agrees, which makes Shells return to her pouting and cross her arms, falling back against the seat’s back cushions.

“I’ll prepare something when we get it all done.” Beatrice tells her friend, patting her knuckles comfortingly, “I promise.” which she would, she just was enjoying the high of knowing she’d be moving in with her boyfriend in a matter of weeks and they’d be together and…well…something else might happen after, hopefully.

She didn’t see it, but Penny’s eyes were on her. Penny talked to Maverick after Rooster let him know he and Beatrice were going to live together, Pete looked ready to cry in front of his girlfriend, words going one hundred miles per minute saying how he was right and that they’d get married soon. He could feel it. Which at first Penny didn’t believe, not that much at least, until she saw the two lovebirds again that afternoon.

There was something really precious about the two, something so genuine Penny couldn’t really deny that she could see working. She only hoped the best for them and that they enjoyed their time together before and after they tied the knot. And that there was not hurry in doing so either.

Beatrice excused herself to go inside the bar to get some water, humming all the way up and making her way to the employees’ only fridge, grabbing a water bottle. She brings the bottle to her lips, but pauses when she hears three very distinct male voices, each one deeper than the other. 

Furrowing her eyebrows, she walks to the double doors, hearing the voices getting louder and louder, holding the door handle and opening it at the same time someone did, which jolted her arm, the door staying in the same spot. Now that she was closer, she could easily identify who it was outside. She gave one more tug, but this time there was nothing - nor anyone - holding it back on the outside.

Beatrice’s green eyes met six more within the same shade range, going from lighter to darker, all of them staring down at her, “....hi, guys!” She squeaks out a greeting as she looks at her three older brothers, Michael in the middle with Leonardo on his left and Guillermo on his right, looking like Matryoshkas dolls because of their height.

“Little Bitty!” Michael tosses his arms up in a greeting, watching his sister close the door behind her before he gives her a bear hug that lifts Beatrice from the floor, “I’m so glad you are here! I wanted to see you!” Beatrice laughs nervously, shifting her eyes to Leonardo in exasperation, her brother just offered her an apologetic smile, “I felt, why not visit my little sister and treat her with something? Like lunch?”

“It’s three in the afternoon Michael.” Guillermo’s deep deadpanned voice said from his right, huge tattooed arms crossing over his shoulder, stretching the black shirt he was wearing. Michael rolled his eyes, but his smile remained when he placed Beatrice back down, combing a few strands of brown hair that got wild because of him picking her up.

“Ignore him.” He says with his hands on his hips, looking up at the bar with his lips pursed in an impressed expression, “So this is the Hard Deck, mighty nice I gotta say.” he hums, walking past Guillermo to walk around the area the best he could, lifting one hand to shield his eyes from the sun even if he had his sunglasses on, “Nice view too, lovely beach. Oh, hey! Someone is playing football!”

Beatrice avoids her oldest brother’s stare, only giving Leonardo another look but he just shook his head not knowing how to help, “Well, ah,” Beatrice meets Michael’s body, seeing that his favored attire was a white shirt unbuttoned to the middle of his chest - exposing the massive forest of chest hair - and three golden chains on his neck, the one closes to his collarbones had a small cross dangling from it, “Those are um, Brad and his friends, they usually play–”

“No way, Brad is there? Shut the fuck up,” Beatrice could only watch with wide eyes as Michael dropped from the sidewalk to the sand, turning her head when she sees Guillermo’s massive form following him in silence. Beatrice turns to Leonardo, giving him a questioning look yet again, mouthing ‘what is going on??’

“Listen I didn’t know you’d be here!” Leonardo whisper shouts, following his sister on the sand, both of them trying to keep up with the two oldest Schiavoni brothers, “I just told Mike you worked here, he was the one who brought us all along!” Beatrice makes a distraught noise, speeding up her step before the two of them could reach the seating area behind the bar.

She stops in front of Guillermo and Michael, the youngest of the two still grinning and looking like he just won the lottery, “You guys ah…c-can’t do um…that.” Michael’s eyebrows furrowed while Guillermo remained the same stone faced individual as before.

“Why not? Is it illegal or something?”

Was it illegal? The bar is closed and this was a beach, it wasn’t like Penny would call the cops on them because of that…right? She had no clue, oh shit what does she do? She hates how her brothers just show up out of nowhere, she hates it! “...no…?” Her unsure reply didn’t help, because both of them stepped forward and Beatrice squeaked, trying to hold them back the best she could, but Michael just laughed, patting her head and walking around her so her arms only remained on Guillermo…who was literally dragging her along as he walked.

“Bea.” her oldest brother calls, gently picking her under the arms to lift her up and put her aside, “Don’t do that, you might fall and get hurt.” his sister let out another desperate noise, looking from them to Leo then to the seating area where the other women weren’t aware of what was happening.

If she was fast…she could warn Penny. So she tried to run all the way back before her brothers reached the group of pilots, almost tripping over herself and finally arriving at the group of females she left behind. Beatrice held the back of a seat, heaving out her breaths “P-Penny, this sounds crazy but my brothers are here.” she says in one single breath, to which her boss looks in her direction with her brows furrowed in confusion, “A-And they want to play with the guys i-is that okay?”

Penny blinked at Beatrice, digesting the brunette’s words and laughing softly, “Yes, of course Bea. I only own the area from this spot backwards. There’s nothing wrong about it…they just need to tell the others and you know, make them aware.”

Oh.

Oh that was a lot better than she thought.

“Oh, ah, okay!I-I will!” Beatrice rushes back onto the beach, where Michael,Guillermo and Leo were currently watching the game. She meets Pete’s eyes from across the beach, he was on the side watching this whole game happen without playing this time. He uncrosses his arms when he sees she’s not alone there, giving one quick look at the pilots before he makes his way over. “H-Hi Pete.” she says softly, ‘Um, these are my brothers, they uh…want to play??”

Pete turned his head to the three men, the tallest of them all he knew. He showed up at the Hard Deck months ago and he had that disagreement with Beatrice, “Oh, really?” he has no idea if it’d be a good idea, especially with the tallest and biggest of them all, he towered pretty much every one of the boys, “Well, give me a second to call them.” Mav put his fingers inside his mouth and whistled, halting the game and waving them all over.

Bradley was the first one to arrive, seeing Beatrice and immediately thinking something had happened, “Bradley!” he didn’t even notice Michael was right there before he was greeted by a heavy slap in between his shoulder blades, the impact so hard he coughed out his breath in surprise, “Good to see you man!”

“G-good to see you too, Michael.” he coughs, smiling weakly before his eyes greet a nervous and apologetic Leonardo and a neutral eyed Guillermo who just kept his gaze on him the entire time, “I had no idea you guys were planning on coming over.”

“I wanted to see Little Bitty over there,” Michael juts his thumb toward Beatrice, then puts his hands on his hips, “Had no idea she’d be here right now nor there’d be a game, so I thought, why not just join?” his sister only had an aggravated expression, bringing up her fingers to rub the bridge of her nose, “Me and Gui? We were great football players. What position were you again Gui?”

Guillermo’s eyes move briefly to his brother, before returning to Bradley’s “Quarterback.”

“Yeah! And I was a linebacker!” Michael tosses a quick glance towards Leonardo, who just seemed like he didn’t want to be there, “Leo here wasn’t a footballer guy but he’s pretty good, ain’tcha bro?” Leonardo nods, still wishing he was anywhere but there. “So what do you say?”

Bradley however doesn’t say anything, it’s Payback who once he hears about it said that ‘the more the merrier!’ earning a bright grin from Michael and a subtle eyebrow raise from Guillermo. Leonardo questions if he should join or not, especially when the only two women from the group step back, “Jesus fuck.” he murmurs, giving Beatrice a look, “I don’t have a choice do I?”

The brunette looks to where Michael and Guillermo were, there was enough body hair in both of them to make a furcoat and they were…a lot bigger than the other pilots, maybe not as marble cut defined but definitely muscular, ‘I don’t think so Leo.” she shrugs with an apologetic look, “Do you want me to stay close? In case you need help?”

“Hrrm, just tell Cyn and Bibi I love them,” he groans, pulling out his Metallica shirt and shoes, tossing it to where his brothers’ left theirs, “Wish me luck.”

Bea gave him a double thumbs up, her eyes turning back to Bradley who stayed behind as the two men introduced themselves better to the ones left, “Brad,” he snaps his head down at her, his sunglasses over his eyes, “Guillermo is big but he’s kinda slow if you run to the left, also…both of them like brute force so someone…might…well…not be standing up for too long.” she winces, “So please be careful.”

“I will baby, don’t worry.” he leans down to kiss her lips, pecking them twice, “For good luck.” he lifts his sunglasses just enough to wink down at her, dropping them as he makes his way over to the group once more.

Beatrice smiles diminutively, but she is worried, “God, please don’t let them break them all too much, we just got a house to live together.” she mutters, clasping her hands in a prayer and closing her eyes, “Especially because of how Guillermo is.” She opens her eyes only to see her oldest brother rolling his massive shoulders and neck, his eyebrows low and jaw set tight.

This was going to be insane and she was hating it already.

[ms-m-astrologer]

Transiting Mercury stations direct!

Timeline (current events in bold)

Friday, January 15, 07:56 UT - Mercury enters pre-Rx shadow, 11:01 Aquarius

Wednesday, January 27 - Mercury enters “Storm” (moving less than one degree per day; this is like the actual retrograde getting an early start, sigh)

Saturday, January 30, 15:52 UT - Mercury stations retrograde, 26:29 Aquarius

Monday, February 8, 13:48 UT - Sun-Mercury inferior conjunction, 20:01 Aquarius

Sunday, February 21, 00:52 UT  - Mercury stations direct, 11:01 Aquarius

Saturday, February 27 - Mercury exits “Storm” (this is when the retrograde will “feel” like it’s over)

Friday, March 12, 05:09 UT - Mercury exits post-Rx shadow, 26:29 Aquarius

Mercury’s function in our charts is to serve as our inner computer program, which we can boil down to: 

Input -> Process -> Output

That means we can equate Mercury’s retrograde periods to “debugging,” or to upgrading the software. Something about the ways we learn, think, and communicate needs work. If you think about Merc Rx this way, it’s much easier to deal with!

So - I don’t think this was a particularly awful Mercury retrograde, do you? There were the usual computer snafus, but nothing really horrible. Nothing that made anybody’s life difficult for longer than thirty minutes, tops. Maybe it was because both the benefics (Venus and Jupiter) are in Aquarius, too? Although Saturn is there as well - but perhaps Venus and Jupiter together means that Saturn was overruled.

Anyway, most of the aspects happening while Mercury is in its post-retrograde shadow, happen with Lady Asteroids, Chiron, Neptune, Pluto, Eris, and the Nodes. We can’t see any of them with our naked eye, and I’m wondering if their effects will be more subconscious. The one and only “visible” planet involved is Jupiter: there’s a third and final conjunction between the two. What do you all think?

Tuesday, March 2, 05:58 UT - Vesta Rx/Virgo inconjunct Mercury/Aquarius, 15:02 (15 degrees 2 minutes)

Third of three. By this time, Mercury is not only direct, it has left its “Storm” phase, where it moves less than 40 minutes a day. We’re probably all thinking, “Why isn’t anything straightened out yet?” There could be some situation we still need to “adjust” a bit.

Placements affected lie between 14:02 and 16:02 of all signs; Aries and Cancer may feel it especially keenly.

Tuesday, March 2, 23:33 UT - North Node/Gemini trine Mercury/Aquarius; South Node/Sagittarius sextile Mercury/Aquarius, 15:38

Third of three. We can get some crucial piece of information now, and/or something is clarified, so that we can move on with whatever Mercury-type things we have going on. As with all the flowing aspects, we really need to be paying attention - they can flow right past us, and we’re none the wiser.

Placements affected lie between 14:38 and 16:38 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.

Friday, March 5, 03:27 UT - Jupiter/Aquarius conjunct Mercury/Aquarius, 17:32

Third of three. These were first conjunct on January 11, and next on February 14. These third and final aspects always bring closure of some kind. Whatever that amazing, mind-blowing idea was, we’re now finally in a position to nurture and grow the seed. The Moon in Sagittarius (Jupiter’s sign) will sextile this conjunction over the 5th/6th; we may acquire some remarkably wonderful long-term intellectual goal.

Placements affected lie between 16:32 and 18:32 of all signs, and between 1:32 and 3:32 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn.

Monday, March 8, 02:11 UT - Mercury/Aquarius semi-sextile Neptune/Pisces, 20:31

Third of three. This is another one that we may not really “feel,” although it’s more because of Neptune’s fog. It is also a waning, 12th-House semi-sextile, which kind of doubles down on the fog and confusion. Again, the Moon (in Capricorn by now) will act as a kind of trigger for anything that happens. Make sure both sides of your brain are tuned in, if you want to take advantage of this one.

Placements affected lie between 19:31 and 21:31 of all signs.

Monday, March 8, 09:58 UT - Ceres/5:52 Aries semi-square Mercury/20:52 Aquarius

While Ceres was in Pisces and Mercury was in pre-retrograde shadow and then retrograde, the two planets made a semi-sextile. Therefore this semi-square may come as something of an unpleasant jolt. Did we forget something important? Keep in mind that Ceres is also approaching Chiron - which did make three semi-squares to Mercury. There may be some apologizing to do.

Placements affected lie between 19:52 and 21:52 of the fixed signs Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius; and between 4:52 and 6:52 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn.

Monday, March 8, 13:28 UT - Juno/Sagittarius sextile Mercury/Aquarius, 21:01

Third of three. Given the “nasty surprise!” nature of the previous aspect, we may well be in need of some skills at negotiation. We have (I hope) learned to communicate with our partners, or at least to trust our partners a little bit.

Placements affected lie between 20:01 and 22:01 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.

Wednesday, March 10, 02:10 UT - Chiron/7:44 Aries semi-square Mercury/22:44 Aquarius

Third of three. In order to be able to move on to the bigger and better future, we’ll have to let some things go - and this semi-square seems to be all about that bittersweet realization. I’m not sure what’s harder to accept: something that helped you, and that you cherish, isn’t going to help someone else; or your wounded ego refusing to acknowledge that not everyone has to like the same things you like.

Placements lie between 21:44 and 23:44 of the fixed signs Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius; and between 6:44 and 8:44 of the cardinal signs Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn.

Wednesday, March 10, 23:01 UT - Eris/Aries sextile Mercury/Aquarius, 23:45

Third of three. Whatever was ticking us off, as we went into this retrograde, we can now express clearly (if not always politely). If we’re tired of putting up with bullshit, I think this can be the day when we stop putting up with it. Aries is hot, and Aquarius is cold - if we’ve been working on doing both at once, if there is something we are that angry about - we may finally be able to pull it off today.

Placements lie between 22:45 and 24:45 of the yang signs Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Sagittarius, and Aquarius.

Saturday, March 13, 01:41 UT - Pluto/Capricorn semi-sextile Mercury/Aquarius, 26:18

Third of three. Again, this is pretty subtle, and we’d have to be making a conscious effort to tap in to the energy. But, after all the trials and tribulations of the past two months, do you feel smarter? Is your mind a little deeper, a little more powerful? If so, and even if not, what are you going to do about it?

Placements affected lie between 25:18 and 27:18 of all signs.

__________________

For planning ahead purposes, the next Mercury retrograde will be between May 14 and July 7, between 16:08 and 24:43 Gemini.

[peachfaeryy]

Hi 🌙

It's my birthday right now. I'm 26 now.

1. What is my fondest childhood memory?

My fondest childhood memories definitely consist of the lovely people who I grew up with and derived my sense of humor/silliness from: my cousins Anna & Emily, Savannah -- my childhood best friend, and Kaleb, my eternal crush. These memories consist of them in elementary school, camp, and my grandma's house in San Antonio.

2. What is my favorite comfort food?

Probably nachos/chips/chips & queso.

3. What’s my favorite way to exercise?

Uh...DANCE.

4. Am I a morning person or a night owl?

I lean more towards night owl but I try to avoid both.

5. If I could have any superpower, what would it be?

The currency of youth.

6. Do I prefer cooking, baking, or neither?

I love both cooking and baking :) I find both extremely rewarding and cathartic.

7. Am I an introvert or an extrovert?

Ambivert strongly introvert-leaning.

8. What superhero do I find most relatable?

None, I detest all superheroes.

9. What is my favorite season of the year — and what do I love most about it?

Winter because it provides me with the most amount of physical comfort. I love sleeping in a very cold room, opening my windows with no AC on. Sitting in my car listening to music/eating with engine off. Less humidity. Food is tastier. Style is better.

10. Do I believe in the existence of angels?

Not particularly? Well, yes but I believe they have absolutely no role or effect on our world.

11. What are my favorite TV series?

American Crime Story (OJ & Versace), Fleabag, Atlanta...90 Day Fiance, Game of Thrones

12. What was the last movie I watched (or the last movie I enjoyed)?

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (let's gooOoo)

13. Am I a tidy person or a messy one?

I used to be very messy but not I'd consider myself pretty tidy. My nature is messy though.

14. Am I afraid of the dark?

Nah.

15. Am I more of a coffee person or a tea person?

Mostly coffee.

16. What talents do I possess that I’m proud of?

I don't have any natural-born talents but I suppose my ability to teach myself a new skill over time.

17. Do (or did) I like school?

I loved school and literally work at a school.

18. Did I go to the prom?

Unfortunately, yes.

19. What is my idea of a perfect date?

Definitely grabbing pizza at a nice restaurant.

20. Do I enjoy DIY or crafts?

Not at all, sounds awful, lol.

21. Do I forgive others easily?

Yes. But not so much anymore now that I'm older and more experienced. My instinct/nature is very forgiving.

22. Do I have a nickname — or did I ever have one?

None.

23. Do I have any phobias?

I'm scared of most anything anything everything...I'd say my daily fear is mistaking my razor for my toothbrush in the shower.

24. Have I ever met one of my heroes? If yes, who was it, and how did it go?

No?

25. Do I speak any other languages?

No, but I told myself I would learn Spanish before I die.

26. Have I ever traveled outside my native country?

Yes! I have been the Mexico and Ireland.

27. If money were no object, what would I want for my next birthday?

Maybe a trip to South Korea/Germany/Rhode Island

28. Have I ever been addicted to something?

Yes. But as far as substances? I'm addicted to Nsaid.

29. When I was a kid, what did I want to be when I grew up?

I wanted to be a wildlife photographer when I was a kid-kid.

30. Have I ever won something?

$75 with scratch offs

31. Have I ever narrowly escaped death (or serious injury)?

I'd say so, yes.

32. Do I prefer baths or showers?

Showers.

33. How am I feeling right now?

Changed.

34. Have I ever played any sports?

Soccer, Basketball, and cross-country

35. Do I prefer the beach or the mountains?

Beach, but I feel connected to both.

36. Do I prefer a Mac or a PC?

Uh...PC?

37. Do I prefer dogs or cats (or some other pet)?

Cats...I honestly do not like dogs at all.

38. Do I have any piercings or tattoos? Would I like to get any?

I have three tattoos: three rune, a sword, and a butterfly. All of which are on my arms.

39. Do I have kids?

Not right now.

40. Do I have siblings?

None.

41. What do I do on a typical Friday night?

Same thing I usually do: practice dance/choreo for a couple of hours. Read, cook, watch Youtube. If I’m going out, I’ll maybe grab dinner/hang with my friends. I MAY go to ~the club~ in a blue moon.

42. If I could go anywhere in the world with unlimited funds, where would I go?

SOUTH KOREA

43. What do I do to relax?

Shower, listen to music. Do my makeup for fun.

44. What do I do to wake up or boost my energy levels?

Blast Stray Kids

45. Would I rather have unlimited energy or unlimited money?

Unlimited money

46. Am I a collector of anything? If yes, how big is my collection?

I collect Kpop bullshit...(albums, photo cards, posters, etc.) essentially merch from my favorite artists.

47. What sort of gift would I want from my significant other on Valentine’s Day or on my birthday?

JUST flowers. All I care about it getting flowers on both of those days.

48. Which would I rather avoid — excess heat or extreme cold?

Excess heat.

49. Would movie genre would I rather watch: action, romance, fantasy, or horror?

Of those choices: horror. I also like a solid journey story.

50. Have I ever been on a diet? If yes, how did it go?

More like a mini eating disorder, lol? I went through phases where I only consumed 1500 calories.

51. If I could live anywhere for a month with whomever I choose, where would that be?

Greece with I suppose...someone I get along with.

52. Have I ever gone camping? Or do you look at a tent and think, “I feel like that’s the wonton wrapper, and I’m the filling.”

Yes, several times. I actually thoroughly enjoy camping.

53. What’s the last song I listened to?

Ribs -- Lorde

54. What’s my current obsession, and how much have I spent on it?

Anything kpop...hours. I’m talking hours and hours.

55. What’s a favorite book of mine?

We Need to Talk About Kevin

56. What should I be doing right now?

Sleeping.

57. What’s my best feature?

Physically? Boobs.

Personality? I would say kindness but that’s basic. Witty? Self-discipline.  

58. What’s the most expensive article of clothing (or shoes) that I own?

Damn...shoes...? $100?

59. What is one thing I could not live without?

Music. My one coping mechanism and literally the reason I’m alive and functional.

60. What’s one thing I can’t leave the house without (other than keys and my wallet)?

Phone... BC packet?

61. What’s one of my pet peeves?

Slow walkers

62. What wild animal would I love to have for a pet (as long as it didn’t eat anyone)?

Maybe like...a toucan?

63. What’s my favorite drink?

An ICE COLD fizzy SODA boiii

64. What’s my spirit animal, and do I own anything featuring that animal?

I guess I’m very cat-like. I used to have a lot of cat stuff, but not anymore...

65. What’s my favorite restaurant, and what’s my favorite splurge order?

I like basically any fast food joint. I’m also a sucker for Chili’s. I’m really basic. A splurge order for me would be ordering a margarita with my meal.

66. What’s my favorite movie — or the best one I’ve seen in the last three years?

I’ve been obsessed with We Need to Talk About Kevin, Pirates of the Caribbean...I’ve been wanting to rewatch Little Miss Sunshine

67. What’s a favorite hobby of mine?

Dancing :)

68. What’s my favorite go-to snack?

Health-wise: apples and peanut butter. But if I don’t care: chips

69. What are my must-haves for watching a movie in a theater?

True interest in the film

70. What’s my favorite kind of competition to watch (sports, cooking, etc.)?

Not really into competition shows.

71. Would I rather get an electric shock or get an intramuscular shot (tetanus, etc.)?

Electric shock?

72. What’s my dream car?

Bella’s shitty red truck let’s gooooo

73. What are the must-haves in the home of my dreams?

LOTS of open space, sunlight, heated bathroom floor

74. What’s my favorite sandwich?

Chicken salad, BLT, plain peanut butter

75. What’s my favorite kind of dinner? (comfort food, four-course, take-out Chinese…)

Comfort food

76. If I could change my eye and hair color, what color/s would I choose?

I would DEF change my eye color to a warm brown and my hair to very dark brown. I’m growing my natural hair out. I’m going dye-free right now.

77. Who is my favorite fictional character (or one of them)?

Jack Sparrow

78. What’s my longest relationship so far (other than family)?

4 years...

79. What is my star sign — or do I usually avoid that question?

I DO NOT care about this but I’m a Leo

80. What is my lucky number, or what is a favorite number of mine?

Uh? N/A

81. What city do I live in now, and what’s my favorite thing about it?

I still live in Denton and I detest it.

82. What state do I live in now, and what do I love about it?

Texas, its diversity.

83. If I had to move to a different state, where would I rather go?

New Mexico

84. Have I ever colored my hair? If yes, what’s my favorite hair color experiment so far?

Yes, most of my teen and adult life. But my “crazy” hair experiment right now is going dye-free and wearing my natural color.

85. Whom do I miss right now?

My 14-year-old self

86. Have I ever made a mistake that someone else refused to forgive me for?

Apparently.

87. Do I have a celebrity crush? If yes, who is it?

JOHNNY DEPP and all of Stray Kids lol. Jungkook?

88. If I could meet any celebrity for coffee/tea and a chat, who would it be?

Marina Diamandis

89. As desserts go, would I rather have ice cream or cheesecake?

Ice Cream

90. Would I rather live in a house or an apartment, and why?

A small house.

91. Would I rather live in a treehouse, a cave, or a submarine?

Treehouse

92. What is one big goal that I want to accomplish this year?

Move out of D*nton.

93. What do I want to do for a living?

I’m happy being a teacher, but ultimately I’d like to counsel kids.

94. When I feel sick, where do I usually feel it first or most noticeably?

My head.

95. What sort of smartphone do I use, and what made me choose it?

Uh? Android?

96. What’s one movie that I’ve watched repeatedly? What do I love about it?

I watch signs pretty frequently. Midsommar? I connect with its characters because they seem like real actual people? I’ve been wanting to rewatch the Lovely Bones.

100. If I could afford one, would I rather hire a chef, a personal assistant, or a housekeeper?

Housekeeper!

97. What is one food that I refuse to eat?

Liver

98. What exotic food would I be willing to try?

I’d be open to trying most any food.

99. What is one item on my bucket list, and what made me choose it?

I’m kind of working on it now. I want to put a few years in while I’m young and able to become a very good dancer. I know that to obtain that it IS going to take years. It’s something that’s really important to me because I’ve always wanted that for myself but never made actual steps to obtain/execute it. And ultimately, I want it because it allows me to feel like my true self.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Lasts: 1. Last Beverage? Water. 2. Last Phone Call? My mom. 3. Last Text Message? My brother. 4. Last Song You Listened To? I don’t remember. 5. Last Time You Cried? Yesterday.

Have You Ever: 6. Dated Someone Twice? Yes. 7. Been Cheated on? No. 8. Kissed Someone And Regretted It? No. 9. Lost someone special? Yes, a few loved ones. 10. Been Depressed? I have depression; I am depressed. 11. Been Drunk? Yeah. List Three Favorite Colors: 12. Pastels. 13. Rose gold. 14. Sea foam green. This Year Have You: 15. Made New Friends? No. 16. Fallen Out Of Love? No. 17. Laughed until You Cried? No. I haven’t had a good laugh like that in so long...  18. Met Someone WHo Changed You? No. 19. Found Out Who Your True Friends Were? I don’t have any friends. 20. Found Out Someone Was Talking About You? No. 21. Kissed anyone on your friends list? Nope. 22. How Many people on your friends list do you know in real life? On where? If we’re talking Tumblr, then none. 23. Do you have any pets? Yes, I have a doggo. 24. What did you do for your last birthday? I went out to breakfast and did some shopping with my mom and then had my favorite for dinner (Wingstop) and a cake. Then a few days later my aunt and cousin came over for lunch and board games, which was fun. 25. What time did you wake up today? I haven’t gone to bed, yet. 26. What were you doing at midnight last night? Surveys. 27. Name something you CANNOT wait for? For it to finally get cold again omg. This heat needs to goooo. 28. Last time you saw your father? Last night. 29. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? Better health for one. 30. What are you listening to right now? I just hear my fan at the moment. 31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yes, my grandpa’s name was Tom. 32. What's getting on your nerves right now? It’s almost 4 in the morning and it’s still hot in my house. Late at night and early morning should be cooler.

33. What is your real name? Stephanie. 34. Zodiac Sign? Leo. 35. Male or Female? I’m a female. 36. Elementary School? I’m not sharing that. 37. Middle School? ^^^ 38. High School? ^^^ 39. Hair Color? Dark brown. 40. Long or short hair? Super short. 41. Height? About 5′4. 42. Do you have a crush on someone? No. 43. What do you like about yourself? Uhhh. 44. Piercings? Just my earlobes. 45. Tattoos? Nope. 46. Righty or Lefty? Righty. Firsts: 47. Surgery? Exploratory surgery after my accident at 7 months old. 48. Piercing? My earlobes when I was a baby. 49. Tattoo? I don’t have any tattoos. 50. Best Friend? Crystal and Starr in preschool. 51. Sport you joined? I never played any sports. 52. Pet? A doggo named Buster when I was really little. 53. Vacation you remembered? First Disneyland trip when I was about 7. 54. Concert? I believe it was High School Musical in Concert. 55. Crush? This boy named Phillip when I was in the 3rd grade. 56. Alcoholic Drink? I think it was some Irish liquor with coffee. Right Now: 57. Eating? I just finished eating ramen. 58. Drinking? Cherry Pepsi. 59. I'm about to... Listen to ASMR videos and probably do more surveys. 60. Listening to... Just my fan and myself typing at the moment. 61. Waiting for... Nothing really at the moment. Your Future: 62. Want kids? Nope. 63. Want to get married? No. 64. Careers in mind? I don’t know. Which Is Better with the opposite/same sex? 65. Lips or Eyes? Eyes. 66. Hugs or Kisses? Both. 67. Shorter or Taller? Taller. 68. Older or Younger? Older. 69. Romantic or Spontanious? Both. 70. Nice stomach or Nice arms? I mean, both are nice... 71. Tattoos or Piercings? Eh, not big on either one but I don’t mind if they have some. Not a lot, though. 72. Sensitive or Loud? Sensitive out of the two. 74. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? Hesitant. Have You Ever (2): 75. Kissed a stranger? No. 76. Drank hard liquor? Yes. 77. Lost glasses/contacts? No. 79. Broken someone's heart? Yes. 80. Had your heart broken? Yes. 81. Been arrested? Nope. 82. Turned someone down? Yes. 83. Cried when someone died? Yes. 84. Liked a friend that is the same sex? No. Do You Believe In: 85. Yourself? No. :/ 86. Miracles? Yes. 87. Love at first sight? No. 88. Heaven? Yes. 89. Santa Claus? No. 90. Kissing on the first date? If it feels right. 91. Angels? Yes. 92. Sex before marriage? Sure. That’s a personal choice. 93. Life on other planets? I think so. 94. Life after death? Yes. 95. Only being with one person forever? Yes, if you’re happy and both want to be. Answer Truthfully: 96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? No. 97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfrend at one time? No. I can’t even get one, ha. 98. Do you believe it's possible to remain faithful forever? Yes. 99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? I gotta have my coffee, ha. 100. What's one secret you have that not many people know? It’s a secret.

[axwalker]

Tears in Heaven 4: Start Over

Synopsis: Alexis O’Brien is about to get married but memories of her old life are coming back to haunt her.

MASTERLIST

Pairings: Liam x MC, Drake x MC (TRR)

Warnings:  NO ONE UNDER 18 should read this story. This is an 18+ blog.

This story will deal with very dark subjects such as death, severe depression and suicide attempt (among others) if you’re triggered by any of those issues, PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS STORY

A/N: The story will go back and forth between three different periods of time (2010 / 2015 / 2020)

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Word count: 5,010

Songs inspiration: Tears in heaven by Eric Clapton

THANKS TO:    @burnsoslow​  Thanks for beta reading and correcting so many mistakes. I love you!

And to    @pedudley​   your comments and feedback are the best. LOVE YOU BOTH! ❤️❤️❤️

March 2015

Bastien was extremely worried about Drake. He thought that some time and distance would help Drake heal, but he seemed to get more and more depressed every day. He spent his days on the couch or in the hammock looking at the sea with a bottle in his hand. His gaze was lost, empty.

The nights were even worse; he didn’t sleep, and the rare nights where he was able to close his eyes for more than a few hours, he woke up sweating with a nightmare - reliving that day, over and over again.

He had barely spoken since he had arrived in Spain. Andrea, Bastien’s wife, had convinced Bastien to try and reach Alexis in Cordonia, but Liam had told him that she was as destroyed as Drake was. Bastien suggested bringing them back together, maybe flying Alexis to Spain. He was convinced that seeing her would help Drake, and vice versa, but Liam had said that Alexis was too weak to travel.

“Son, you can’t keep going like this. You’re going to kill yourself,” Bastien said one night, tired of feeling useless.  

“What difference does it make?” Drake took a swig directly from the bottle. “Why should I live after … after what I did?” He felt empty; the guilt was eating him alive, and the only person that could have saved him hated him even more than he hated himself.

“Drake, I’m sure that if you reach out to her- “

“No! I told you already. Do not contact her! I’m not good for her.” He noticed that his bottle was empty, so he stood up and lurched into the kitchen. Bastien followed him. “I destroyed her life … I … destroyed everything ...” He opened the bottle and took a big gulp. “Everything I touch … it dies. My dad died, my mother left, and now T … T… Fuck! I can’t even say his name.”

Bastien placed his hand on his godson’s shoulder. “Son, it wasn’t your fault.”

Drake barked at him, “What the fuck do you know, Bastien? It was my fault, only my fault. I swore to her that I’d protect them. It was my job to keep them safe.” It hurt too much to even breathe. He laid on the hammock again. “Please leave me alone.” He closed his eyes, trying to remember them: his pure laughter and her beautiful face, his little hand gripping his or her soft body against his at night, all the Sunday mornings taking him to the forest and the spicy breakfast waiting for them at the cabin. Maybe if he focused hard enough, he could make time go back.

June 2010

Drake and Alexis had been living together for two days. After another horrible fight with her father, she had finally had enough, and, tired of the way he treated her, she had left to live with Drake at his cabin.

They spent their first 48 hours completely lost in each other. Their second night together, they were both wrapped under a blanket watching the stars on the terrace, when it hit him. All he wanted from life was already there in his arms. So he held her even tighter and, after only eight months since meeting her, he whispered the question in her ear. She couldn’t believe it at first - it was too soon, they were too young, there were a million reasons not to do it - but she was completely crazy about him, too. Her eyes watered before she screamed a loud “yes” into the night. He kissed her deeply and ran to get his grandmother’s emerald engagement ring. It suited her perfectly. It was meant to be.

The wedding preparations had been hectic. They didn’t see the point of a long engagement, so they had set the date for two months from then: the 18th of June, a Saturday.

“Are we completely crazy?” he asked her, grinning after they had gone to the town hall to register their marriage application.

She laughed. “Yeah, completely,” she said, snuggling against him as they walked, “but I love you so much.”

“Me too, baby.” He kissed the top of her head. He was the happiest man in the world.

They didn’t have a lot of money, so they were going to have a small wedding in the forest behind their cabin. All their friends had offered to cooperate, but Drake and Alexis were adamant: They were only going to accept manual labor as wedding gifts. Drake, Liam and Leo brought the tables and chairs for the ceremony and the reception. Bertrand helped them with all the wedding documents, Maxwell was in charge of the music, Savannah decorated the place with Alexis, and Olivia was paying her chef to make the wedding cake. Bastien was working on a special surprise in his woodshop and would be in charge of the BBQ for the big day.

One day before the wedding, Drake was preparing the salads for the BBQ while Alexis and Maxwell chose the songs for the party.

“Guys!” Maxwell said, panicked. “You don’t have a song?”

“Not really,” Alexis paused. “We danced for the first time to ‘She Will Be Loved,’ though.’”

Maxwell grimaced before speaking. “Really? Maroon 5, Blossom?”

“Hey! I love them!” She laughed.

“Don’t get me wrong, Lexie. Adam Levine is the sexiest man alive. But ‘She Will Be Loved’ is not a wedding song.”

Alexis was about to respond when Drake intervened, blushing. “I have one.”

Max and Alexis turned their heads in unison. “You have a wedding song?” Max arched his brows.

Drake shook his head, exasperated to be having this conversation with Maxwell. “It’s not a wedding song, Beaumont. It’s just a song I like.”

Alexis looked at Max meaningfully. “I think Bertrand was looking for you outside to help with the flower arrangements, Max.”

He winked. “Of course, Bertrand is looking for me, riiight.”

When he left, Alexis circled her arms around her future husband’s waist. “What’s the song, babe?”

He sighed, wondering when he had become such a damn softie. “Van Morrison, ‘Crazy Love.’ He looked into her bright eyes and smiled as he cupped her face. “Do you like it?”

“I love it; it’s one of the most romantic songs ever. Why do you like it?”

He smiled sheepishly. “One night after I dropped you off at your father’s house, I put the stereo on, and that song started playing. Listening to it I realized how well it suited you, us.”

That man was going to make her crazy. She crashed her lips against his as he grabbed the nape of her neck and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue meet hers. After a few seconds, he gripped her hips and lifted her to sit her on the counter. She straddled him, while his lips and teeth explored and bit her neck and her hands roamed over his back.

Max cleared his throat. “Fuck! Leo was right. I owe him $20.”

Leo entered the kitchen with a screwdriver in his hand. “Li and I set up the bar …” He stopped to see Alexis combing her hair with her hand. “I told you, Maxwell, you can’t leave these two alone - pay up.”

“Fuck off, Leo.” Drake exchanged a wink with Alexis and went with Leo to check on the improvised bar the brothers had set up in the garden.

The rehearsal was fast; after it, everyone went to sleep early as the preparations had left them exhausted.

The next day, Alexis woke up at Olivia’s apartment feeling giddy with happiness.

“I can’t believe I’m getting married today.”

“If you want to bail, I have the getaway car ready, darling.” Olivia was only half-joking.

Alexis shook her head before she warned her best friend, “You’ll understand one day, Liv. You’ll fall in love like we did, and all of this will make sense to you, I promise.”

“Shoot me if I ever get that sappy. You have my permission.”  Olivia opened the door and let a woman in. “This is Clara; she will do your hair and makeup.”

Alexis was about to protest, but Olivia raised her hand. “I know you said you didn’t want this kind of gift, but it’s your wedding day, and you deserve this, Alexis.” She looked at her friend through the mirror of the dresser as she talked. “I can’t cook a BBQ or build improvised bars, but please let me do this.”

Alexis understood what her friend was trying to say. “I love you too, Liv.”

Olivia waved her hand, smiling. “Shit, you’re going to be cheesier than usual today. God help us.” She squeezed Alexis’s shoulder. “Still no news about your father?”

Alexis shook her head. “Not yet. He said that if I married Drake, I was dead to him. He hates him only because he has no money. If he knew him better …” She sighed sadly. “Anyway, it'll all be okay; maybe he’ll show up at the cabin.”

Olivia disguised her sadness for her with a smile. “Maybe, darling. I’ll go change.” She called Drake the minute she left Alexis’ room. Olivia knew George O’Brien, and she was sure he wasn’t coming.

Alexis texted her father the address of the cabin; she was sure he’d regret his decision and would arrive at the last minute, or at least she hoped he would. She hadn’t asked anyone else to walk down the aisle with her.

Drake intercepted Bertrand when he arrived at the cabin.

“Alexis’s father won’t come; I know she was still hoping that he would, but that fucking asshole doesn’t give a damn about her.” Drake’s heart broke just thinking about her waiting for George. “Could you walk her down the aisle? Max is officiating the ceremony, but I know Lexie cares a lot about you, too.” Bertrand assured him that he was proud to accept.

Bastien had built a beautiful arch for the ceremony, and Liam and Leo had placed chairs all over the lawn for their 30 guests.

‘Here Comes the Sun' started to play. Drake waited at the end of the aisle with his heart beating as hard as it could without actually leaving his chest.

After what felt like an eternity, she appeared on Bertrand’s arm. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was; she was gorgeous. Her long white dress made her look like she was floating, her wide smile illuminated her whole face, her dark eyes were glistening with happy tears. Suddenly, he noticed his own eyes watering for the second time in his life, and he didn’t care. Her. All he cared about was her. He couldn’t wait to have her next to him.

Finally, they reached him, and he felt like his heart was going to burst with the smile she reserved only for him. He squeezed her hand, and they stood in front of Maxwell, who had gotten ordained on the internet for the ceremony.

Maxwell took his role very seriously. “As the great poet George Eliot once said:

What greater thing is there for two human souls

than to feel that they are joined together to strengthen

each other in all labor, to minister to each other in all sorrow,

to share with each other in all gladness,

to be one with each other in the

silent unspoken memories?”

Drake and Alexis exchanged a loving glance, as Maxwell proceeded with the ceremony until he reached the part where they had to share their vows.

“I think we’re all impatient to hear Drake’s vows, so let’s start with him.”

Drake turned to face Alexis, who was staring intently at him through her eyelashes. “Fuck, Lexie, stop looking at me like that or I won’t be able to say this.”

She beamed at him.

“I’m not good with words or feelings, so when you suggested that we should write our own vows, I almost choked.”

Their friends laughed.

Drake locked eyes with her. “But then I realized this wasn’t difficult at all. Because the truth is that I love you. I love your beautiful smile, your bright eyes, and the fire in them when you get angry.” Alexis shook her head, smiling through her tears. “I love how much you enjoy every single moment of your life.” He grinned at her. “I couldn’t live without smelling your cherry scent in our pillows or without you dancing all around the house.” He gently stroked her cheek. He was dying to kiss her, but he kept talking. “I love the light you have cast into my life since the second we met, and I swear I’ll always protect you, take care of you, and make sure that your beautiful light keeps on shining.” His voice betrayed his emotion, so he paused for a second. “I’m eager to start our lives together because I’m not sure about a lot of things, but I know without the shadow of a doubt that I’ll love you until the day I die.” He leaned and kissed her forehead.

“I love you too.” Alexis was crying. “Shit! I won’t be able to do this.” She took a deep breath as a grinning Drake gripped her hand reassuringly. “Every day I spend with you is the happiest day of my life. You’re strong, smart, and the most beautiful soul I’ve ever met, even when you try so hard to hide it. I love that smirk that is so you -” she caressed his face tenderly - “those crinkles around your eyes when you smile, your strong hands and your legendary stubbornness. I’ve never felt so safe and so loved before, and I want you to know that I love you with the same intensity, the same fierceness. I promise I’ll always be your partner, your best friend, your lover. I can’t wait to be your wife because I know I’ll love you until the day I die.” She smiled through her tears pronouncing the same words he had told her a few seconds ago.

Maxwell was crying, unable to proceed with the ceremony for a few minutes. “I don’t think I was the best person to do this. You’re so adorable, guys!”

Drake and Alexis laughed with the rest of the guests.

They exchanged their rings, visibly excited, promising to love and cherish each other for the rest of their lives. Finally, Maxwell declared them husband and wife.

“Drake, you may kiss the bride.”

He cupped her face and whispered so only she could hear him. “You have no idea how much I love you, baby.”

Before she could answer, he kissed her softly, slowly deepening the kiss until they heard Maxwell cheer with the rest of their friends.

“I’ve never been this happy, Drake.”

“Me neither, Lexie.”

The party was exactly what they wanted: stress-free and laid back. Bastien was in charge of the BBQ, and they had set up a salad buffet to go with it.  Fordessert, they would serve wedding cake and had set up a corner next to a bonfire where guests could prepare their own s’mores. Liv and Liam gave their toasts, and soon it was time for their first dance.  Maxwell gave Drake a knowing look before playing their song. Drake stood up and offered his hand to her; she grinned at him and followed him to the improvised dance floor Drake and Liam had set up.

I can hear her heart beat for a thousand miles

And the heavens open every time she smiles

And when I come to her that's where I belong

Yet I'm running to her like a river's song

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

She give me love, love, love, love, crazy love

He placed his hand on the small of her back and pulled her against him, letting his eyes roam over her beautiful face as they danced. “You look so gorgeous, baby. I can’t wait to have you all to myself tonight.”

She bit her bottom lip, blushing. “You’re much better with words than you think, Drake.” She placed her head on his chest as he led her across the dance floor, the sandalwood invading her nostrils. “And me neither, I can’t wait.”

She's got a fine sense of humor when I'm feeling low down

And when I come to her when the sun goes down

Take away my trouble, take away my grief

Take away my heartache, in the night like a thief

He spun her around confidently. “Wow, I didn’t know you were such a smooth dancer, Walker.” She winked at him, making him laugh.

“I might’ve received a tip or two from Maxwell,” he admitted sheepishly.

He looked so adorable when he was flustered. “Fuck, Drake! I love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.” He leaned down to her face and gave her a nose kiss before spinning her again.

Yes I want to throw my arms around her

Kiss her hug her kiss her hug her tight

And when I'm returning from so far away

She gives me some sweet lovin' brighten up my day

Yes it makes me righteous, yes it makes me feel whole

Yes it makes me mellow down in to my soul

With the last notes of the song, Drake asked h,er smirking, “Are you ready?”

She nodded, puzzled, and he elegantly dipped her at the end of the song, making her laugh with that throaty laugh he loved so much.

“I’m happy to see I can still surprise you, Mrs. Walker.”

She beamed at him. “I’ll never get tired of how good that sounds.”

April 2019

“Alexis.”

“Hello, Drake. We need to talk.”

He opened the door and gestured for her to come in.

When she entered the cabin, a hundred memories came flooding back: the day she had moved in, the nights they had spent stargazing, the day they had married, and so many others that she tried to avoid because they were too painful. She couldn’t avoid a quick glance to the floor upstairs, but turned her head fast, refusing to think about that room.

Drake watched her move around the cabin, without sitting, her eyes darting everywhere. She’s nervous.

Without a word, he went into the kitchen, took a bottle of whiskey from a cabinet, and poured two glasses.

He came back to the living room and saw Alexis still standing next to the door, like an uninvited guest in her own house. In her old house, Drake corrected himself. He gave her the glass and she gulped it.

“Thank you, I needed that.” She pointed upstairs. “Still the same?”

He took a sip of his whiskey and nodded, still silent. He fixed his piercing eyes on her; she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever met, but her beauty was different now, miles away from the lively, sunny girl he had met. Drake watched her bite her bottom lip as she always did when she was nervous. He knew that the next step would be to twist her ring … except it wasn’t his ring anymore. She was wearing a huge diamond engagement ring, and he immediately guessed the reason she was there. Savannah had warned him a few months back.

The faster they’d get to it, the faster she’d be out of his life again. For good this time. He gulped his own glass and asked her, “What are you doing here, Alexis?”

“Um …” Her heart was still racing; she didn’t want to cry, but being there brought back every painful memory she had in that cabin - every laugh, every look, every word. She swallowed hard and forced herself to talk. “I need the divorce papers; we never signed anything.”

“Of course,” he smiled bitterly; “you need to be divorced to get married again.”

She hugged herself, knowing how hard the situation was for both of them.

Drake poured himself another whiskey before adding contemptuously, “That’s a nice ring. I wonder when he bought it.” He downed the content of his glass in one gulp. “I wonder how long he had been waiting to make his move, to take you away from me.”

Alexis couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Do not speak of Liam like that! He was always a good, loyal friend to you and to me. He was the one here picking up the pieces when you left.” She hadn’t realized that she was almost yelling or that her eyes were full of tears. “You left and never once looked back!”

Her words infuriated him; he didn’t yell, but his voice was full of anger. “What the hell, Alexis? Did you just say that I left and didn’t come back? Me?”

She turned her back, angry - not only at him, at herself, too, at their damn fate that had played such a cruel, horrible joke on them.

He cut the distance between them and stood in front of her, making her face him. “I left?” he asked again. “And what about what you did?”

She recognized the pain in the eyes she had avoided looking at for so long, and the anger faded. “What if I say it’s my fault? What difference does it make? It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Drake shook his head, frustrated; as much as it still hurt, as much as he hated to admit it, they didn’t belong together anymore. “You’re right, it doesn’t.” He sighed; he was eager to see her leave and take all the painful memories with her. “Did you bring the papers?”

She took a deep breath before speaking. “It’s more complicated than that. We never made our separation official, so as far as the law is concerned, we’re still together.” He kept staring at her with his arms folded over his chest. His gaze made her extremely nervous, but she forced herself to finish what she needed to say. “I spoke with Rashad, we need to file an application and set a date with a judge for a … meeting.” She put a strand of hair behind her ear.

Drake frowned. “What kind of meeting?”

“It’s called an “attempted conciliation” meeting. It’s mandatory in Cordonia if we want things to go faster. After the meeting, we only have to wait 15 days to sign the papers and everything will be over.”

She seemed cold and distant, talking about the life that they had shared together like it was a simple legal procedure. “Send me the date and I’ll be there, the sooner the better.” He watched her twist his ring again and couldn’t avoid the surge of anger. “This marriage was a fucking mistake anyway.” He regretted his words as soon as he said them, but it was too late.

She looked at him sadly; he had never shown her cruelty before. “Maybe it was a mistake for you.” She took her purse and walked to the door.

“Alexis!” he called before she left. “It might have been a huge mistake; I don’t know. But I don’t regret a single minute of it.” He fixed his chocolate eyes on hers; she seemed so vulnerable again that he had to actively stop himself from taking her into his arms.

She answered through her tears, “Me neither, Drake. I don’t regret anything.” She threw a last glance at the floor upstairs and left.

She drove for a few miles until she was forced to pull over. Her hands were shaking; she couldn’t drive anymore. Forcing herself to steady her voice, she immediately called Liam because she knew how worried he would be about her. She told him that she was all right and that he should go to his meeting with Bertrand and Francesco; she would see him later at her apartment.

When she hung up, she called Max. He arrived an hour later with Olivia, and they took her to Maxwell’s loft in the capital.

“Something to drink?” Maxwell asked.

“Whiskey, double.” She took off her coat, still shaking.

“Here, Blossom.” She gulped it fast.

“Now, tell us everything, Alexis,” Olivia said while she prepared a vodka martini.

“It was so surreal to see him again. He looked …” she sighed, “older, obviously, but still very handsome.” She couldn’t avoid the sorrow in her eyes. “He hates me.”

Olivia arched her brow and simply stated, “Liam.”

She nodded. “Yes, partly,” she shrugged, “but he’s also angry about the last time we saw each other.” Her eyes watered, but she rubbed them hard. “I’m not going to cry. Liam is in the middle of some intense negotiations for the duchy; he doesn’t need to worry about me, too.”

“You can be so fucking frustrating, Alexis.” Olivia looked at her, exasperated.

Maxwell shook his head. “Bravo, Olivia, subtle.”

“I don’t give a damn if I’m subtle or not. Alexis, you need to stop worrying about Liam, or Drake, or anyone else, for that matter. How do you feel? What did you feel when you saw Walker?”

She stared back at her best friend, twisting her ring. “Nothing. I mean, I felt sad for us, and going back to the cabin, to the last place I saw Tho- … him was extremely hard. But I feel absolutely nothing for Drake anymore.”

Olivia squinted at her. “Please, Alexis. You saw Drake again. The man that we know you loved like crazy, who you shared your life with for five years, and you pretend that you didn’t feel anything? You’re shaking, for Christ’s sake. You need to talk, darling.”

Alexis turned to Maxwell for support, but he shrugged. “I don’t approve of her brutal interrogation techniques, but I agree with her; you had to feel something, Lexie. That doesn’t mean you’re being disloyal to Li.”

She dropped the glass on the table and stood up, angrily looking for her coat and purse. “I have no feelings for him anymore. Nothing. He left me without a fucking regret.”

Maxwell shook his head. “You know that’s not exactly true, Blossom. You know why he left.”

Alexis was furious. “I can’t even believe what I’m hearing. If you’ll excuse me, the man that loves me, that I love, is worried sick waiting for me. Have a good night.”  

She left, slamming the door.

Liam spent the afternoon working in his office in Cordonia. He was very satisfied with the deal he had made with Francesco and the Italian government. He had already succeeded in making Valtoria the richest duchy in Cordonia, and his new goal was to transform it into the most successful business center on the Mediterranean coast.

While he was searching for the contracts, he came across the invitation Bertrand had given him for his fifth wedding anniversary party. He was in quite a conundrum; on the one hand, it would be inappropriate for them not to show up. Bertrand was his number two, his closest employee. On the other hand, Drake was back in Cordonia, and he was surely going to go too; after all, Savannah was his sister.

His memory drifted back to that day at the clinic. He had been so confident that it was the right thing to do that he hadn’t doubted his actions, but now he wasn’t so sure about it. Drake’s grief still haunted him. He wondered how their “reunion” had gone. He decided to cut his day short and go check on Alexis.

Her job as a freelance translator allowed her to work from wherever she wanted, but she spent most of her time in her city’s loft. Liam hoped she would easily accept her new role as the duchess of Valtoria when the time came, but he was aware that it was going to be a tough adjustment. As much as she tried to hide it, the weekly royal etiquette lessons she took with Regina were torture for her.

She was already in her room when he got home. He undressed and went to join her in bed. When she sensed his presence, she turned around and laid her head on his chest.  

He caressed her face with the back of his hand. “How did it go, my love?” he asked softly.

“As bad as expected, but I don’t want to talk about it, Li.” She looked for his lips, and he immediately kissed her back.

He needed to claim her as much as she needed to forget. He took off her silky robe and made love to her passionately and lovingly, trying to make her forget about everything else.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Drake sat in front of the fireplace with Savannah's invitation in his hand. He refused to go back to those days where alcohol was the only thing he used to numb the pain. He let himself get lost in the flames while he thought about them, about all the nights they had spent exploring each other in front of that same fireplace. About all the stories she had read to him while she snuggled on his lap. And now that life was gone, and she was with Liam.

With Liam.

When Savannah had called him all those months ago, he had refused to believe it, but then she had sent him their picture in an email, and everything had fallen into place. Especially that last day at her clinic.

Well, if she could move on, he could do it too. He had a new life, a new job, and was dating someone new.

He had come back to Cordonia determined to get a semblance of a life back. He knew himself well enough to realize that he would never love again, or at least never with the same force, with the same intensity,  but if he was going to fulfill the promise he had made at his grave, he needed a new life.

The job he had gotten at Ezequiel’s clinic was the first step; dating Kiara was step two. He wondered if he would truly forget her one day if one day he would wake up to realize she didn’t occupy his every thought. He certainly hoped so; she was marrying Liam soon.

A new family or kids weren’t even a possibility. He might forget Alexis one day, but he would never forget about Tom.

Tagging: @ao719​ @yukinagato2012​ @kingliam2019​ @texaskitten30​ @cordonia-gothqueen​ @bebepac​ @nomadics-stuff​ @hopefulmoonobject​ @gardeningourmet​

Permatag: @ac27dj​ @twinkle-320​ @kimmiedoo5​ @marshmallowsandfire​ @loveellamae​ @burnsoslow​ @mskaneko​ @pedudley​ @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore​ @lauzales​ @pug-bitch​

[anadvanceddegreeinquiet]

What, Me Pandemic? A Boho Crowd Stakes Its Claim (and Claims Its $48 Steaks)

Fricasse Dubois, 21, lamented the decision to pull her latest concrete poem from The Codswalloped Pisspot as she passed one of the whimsical “Maine-ducks-in-flight” mailboxes that serve as newspaper bins for the red-hot downtown rag. But her friend and intern, Banshee Fitzgerald, 33, had made a good point: The Pisspot had been flirting with questionable taste for months now. 

First there was the ironic opera libretto by Steve Bannon, which cast Leo “KIDS” Fitzpatrick as a Muslim refugee in a Copenhagen no-go zone. Then there was the edgy faux-memoir from Terry Richardson, modeled on O.J. Simpson’s unpublished “If I Did It,” and accompanied by a portfolio of Juergen Teller ass-Xeroxes.

But now, the Pisspot hype was growing, and Dubois realized that she might miss the proverbial boat. Interest in the nascent publishing venture was at fever pitch; a SPAC had been formed by laid-off Gagosian and Perrotin directors eager to stage a hostile takeover of the irregularly published ‘zine. 

And a dash of infamy certainly helped—the paper’s co-editor, Stizzy Fugger, had just launched a Tumblr in which she tallied the number of people she had inadvertently infected with Covid-19, updated in real-time (12,617 at press time, if you’re keeping score, more than the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally).

Anyone who has witnessed a “Pisspot drop” in the Dimes Square neighborhood of Manhattan knows to expect pandemonium. But nothing could have prepared this reporter for the foamy-mouthed jubilee and ecstatic violence of the occasion. 

It was 11am on a Tuesday, and the editors appeared at the corner of Seward Park, bearing several cardboard boxes of the paper. They were trailed by the usual suspects: Pimple-necked sadcore rappers, sex-positive Zoom therapists, former Artforum critic’s pickers who now run content for Chipotle, and middle-aged men who really shouldn’t skateboard.  

It’s a truism that an issue of Pisspot isn’t really read so much as it is imbibed, absorbed via the osmosis of social media’s orgiastic frenzy. In fact, the Times had a great deal of difficulty locating anyone who had physically held a copy of the paper in their smooth, unlined hands; many preferred to experience it as a series of fuzzy, thumbnail-sized images posted ironically on MySpace. 

“People used to say they read Playboy for the ads,” said Kit Murano, a fish-eyed, forty-something member of a downtown-based Adderall (™) street team. “Pisspot doesn’t have ads. And no one who knows anything would be caught, like, just sitting there and flipping through the thing. It’s an attitude. It’s an essence. It’s a lifestyle.”

Okay, sure—but what about the actual content actually published in each issue? Imagine an early iteration of Vice cross-pollinated with Tiger Beat, and then add a splash of sexual-harassment-era Paris Review. It’s a bit silly, and a bit loose. Bret Easton Ellis contributes a crossword puzzle in which every answer is just another reason why millennials suck. A party report—‘Reamed & Furred’—diligently transcribes the coke-addled bon mots of the same group of six people all eating at the same restaurant every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evening. 

If there’s an ethos gluing all of this together, it’s a passing-of-the-torch from an older bohemian guard to a younger demographic, with their laissez-faire attitudes about sex, drugs, and global pandemics. “It’s, like, we can all still party together, and age isn’t really ‘a thing’,” explains Murano, leaning out the window of a Mini Cooper wrapped in shiny SunGen Pharma adverts.

The entire scene revolves around the lopsided triangle known as “Dimes Square,” which borrows its moniker from the culinary hotspot Dimes. (The name derives from Cockney rhyming slang for ‘elongated pinky nail.’). Every New York story is also, of course, a story about real estate. In this case, that means the Connecticut country houses that this cohort has Airbnbed out while remaining to weather the storm in lower Manhattan. 

Parts of this scene are “white, but probably ambisexual-adjacent; they’re members of the creative class, but they possess enough self-hatred to seem authentic,” says Dash Johnson, a Dimes Square hanger-on who many suspect of running the Steak-Umms social media accounts. “Most of them used to work for galleries, or websites, or Garage magazine, but when those jobs dried up, they woke up one morning and said: Fuck it. Let’s stop pretending. Let’s just tweet.”

One essential element of any good scene is a gossip column to keep track—and to keep score. ArtWet’s “Wet Ass Pigment” plays that role for the Dimes Square cognoscenti. It’s a bleeding-edge social diary written by an anonymous, Gossip Girl-style correspondent who communicates solely via Signal, using a vocal transformer. 

“I was sick of trying to break into this world,” they said. “I was sick of meeting Anthony Haden-Guest at a dinner, for the 387th time, and having him introduce himself all over again, like we hadn’t both thrown up in the same toilet less than three days before. Fuck gatekeepers. I built my own gate, and then I started keeping it.” 

It was a Wet Ass Pigment column, in fact, which broke the season’s buzziest news: semi-disgraced first son Hunter Biden had bought an octoplex apartment directly above Dimes, where he’ll be staying as he prepares for a September solo exhibition that will open concurrently across Andrew Kreps, 56 Henry, Shoot the Lobster, and a pop-up space for Recess CBD seltzer. Unlike the gentle, “meditative” paintings that Biden had been making in recovery, the new work is brash and rudely vulgar—the product of an unexpected friendship Biden had struck up with Bjarne Melgaard and Jordan Wolfson. 

Meanwhile, the group’s literary face remains 29-year-old Katarina Klaus, whose razor-sharp prose skewers her surroundings with the acidic wit of a young Evelyn Waugh. “I’ll be honest, I fucking hate writing,” Klaus admitted, blowing her nose into a Telfar bag. “I’m both super motivated and super lazy. Sometimes I’ll just copy-paste random chunks of Speedboat into a column and no one will even notice.”

So what’s next for this ragtag crew? “Dimes Square will probably be over by the time this fucking article comes out,” Klaus laments. “You’re going to have, like, some TikTok influencer house on the corner of Canal and Essex, and all the coke will have fentanyl in it again because idiots from New Jersey just have no nose. You know what? I’m regretting this already. This is all off the record.”

Meanwhile, Klaus is already rethinking her involvement in Pisspot. With a current print run of 250 copies, the instantly iconic newspaper suddenly seems a bit too exposed. She’s in discussions with a new, unnamed venture that would distribute articles and essays in a serialized format, via fortunes randomly inserted into cookies at various Chinese restaurants within a three-block radius of the Square. “It’s all about ephemerality,” she says, sucking on a DMT vape she brought back from Mexico City. “It’s all about staying relevant.”

This article was lovingly rewritten from the original by Scott Indrisek.

CORRECTION: The above edition of this story mistakenly cites Kit Murano’s age as “forty-something,” based on our reporter’s visual guesstimation. She is actually 19.   

CORRECTION: ‘Dimes’ is in fact Cockney prison rhyming slang for the expression, “a bent knob is straight twice a day.”

CORRECTION: An earlier online version of this story mistakenly identified The Codswalloped Pisspot as The Duct-Taped Shitberg.

CORRECTION: An earlier, subscribers-only post of this story mislabeled the gossip blog Wet Ass Pigment as being a Spotify podcast called Wank ‘n Pose.

CORRECTION: Jordan Wolfson died in 2014. 

CORRECTION: An earlier Google Doc of this story referenced a non-existent ‘hardcore maternity diary’ by Chloe Sevigny, which most likely did not appear in issue 4 of the Codtaped Shitpot. 

CORRECTION: A version of this story that was sent to hapless print subscribers in Texas and Connecticut wrongly identified the geographic boundaries of “Dimes Square” as being East 45th Street, Central Park West, Freeman’s Alley, and Bedford Avenue.

[theycallmegothboy]

1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

[palettes-and-prompts]

100 First Meetings (Dialogue Prompts)

1) "Were you the one in the bathroom a second ago trying different lines in the mirror to work up the courage to ask that barista out?" 2) "Wow, you're cute." 3) "You come here often?" "This is a morgue." 4) "You! What the hell are you doing in here? We're closed!" 5) "Ahhhh! I hate my fucking life!!!" "Mood." 6) "You have magic?!" 7) "You don't look like you'll last a day here." 8) "You should leave before your date gets back from the bathroom, I saw them in here the other day popping the question to two different people." 9) "They never told me they had a younger brother/sister." 10) "Who's the twink?" 11) "I gotta ask, are you mad about something or is your face just /like that?/" 12) "You're my new roommate?" 13) "You're not married are you?" 14) "Hey, you're not dead are you? Cause I'm on probation and I can't afford to be involved in a fucking murder or something." 15) "So you're the one causing all this trouble." 16) "I need you to pretend we're dating so this dude will leave me alone." 17) "Honey, there you are I've been looking all over for you! Pretend you're with me so this person will go away." 18) "So you're the loud moaner from upstairs, huh, never knew you'd be so cute." 19) "You're not the pizza guy." 20) "You know, when I said I wish the love of my life would just fall out of the sky this isn't exactly what I had in mind." 21) "Any particular reason you're putting peanut butter in my kid's hair?" 22) "You made me dinner?" 23) "You've got the wrong room, but feel free to stay naked." 24) "You must be the motherfucker who broke my windshield!" 25) "Hi, you are very naked." 26) "You their new toy?" 27) "How'd you like to make fifty bucks?" 28) "I know I'm going to regret asking but who are you?" 29) "You got any friends?" "No." "Well you do now, come sit with us!" 30) "Cute face, I'd love to sit on it sometime." 31) "Where'd you find this dork?" 32) "Uh, there any particular reason you're screaming at two thirty-six in the morning? 33) "Out of curiosity, do you think you could lift a dead body?" 34) "If you don't let go of this bag of chips I swear to god I'll bring you to your knees in the middle of this fucking WinnDixie." 35) "WHO THE FUCK ATE THE LAST OF THE FUCKIN DORITOS, I SWEAR TO GOD I'LL-oh! I'm sorry, I didn't know we had a guest. If I'd known we had a guest I would've cleaned." 36) "Are you the vegan cannibal? Because I have so many questions." 37) "Ooh, hello Mommy/Daddy. Fuck, did I just say that out loud?" 38) "Am I dead? Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" "Actually you're in a taco bell, you tried to do a kick flip on your skateboard in the parking lot and hit your head on the side of the dumpster." 39) "You brought a fucking guest to our SECRET BASE?! I'll deal with you later. Hi, hello, it's very nice to meet you please make yourself at home!" 40) "So, you gay or what?" 41) "No, sorry, we don't want any girl scout cookies." 42) "Holy shit, you just saved my fucking life!" 43) "Hey, honey, it's just me. You were in a really bad accident so don't try moving around too much, okay? How are you feeling?" "You called me honey. Do I know you?" 44) "Jesus, your face is about as red as your hair." 45) "Run along little ballerina, you wouldn't want to be caught hanging around the bad kids, would you?" 46) "No, I'm not the stripper, but I can be if you'd like." 47) "You ready to cut open some bodies?" 48) "Get in if you want to live." 49) "What are you looking at, short stack? Mind your own business." 50) "Your headphones aren't plugged in properly so I can hear everything you're listening to. I was going to tell you earlier but then you started watching the weirdest porn I've ever seen and I didn't want to embarrass you, but I'm about to leave so I figured I'd tell you before someone else sits around you." 51) "I don't know what they've told you but we don't need another member, go home." 52) "Hey, stop right there, you can't steal that! That's illegal!" 53) "Who's the nerd?" 54) "You look like the kind of person who wears days of the week underwear." 55) "So, how many pitchers of margaritas are you allowed to sell me?" 56) "My head fucking kills, I shouldn't have drank last night. Hey, wait, why do you and I have matching rings on our fingers?!" 57) "Congratulations, idiot! You just ruined a six month plan and now we have to start all over!" 58) "That is the ugliest shirt I've ever seen, where can I get one just like it?" 59) "I know you make straight A's, but I'm still not sure if you're really smart or dumb but really lucky. Because I've seen someone ask you what the square root of pi is and you answer with 'I don't know, I guess it depends on the flavor.'" 60) "Who the fuck let you in?" 61) "Hey, I'll give you twenty bucks if you take a photo with me to make my ex jealous." 62) "So, you eat ass or what?" 63) "You a cop?" "No." "Too bad, you would have looked good in a uniform." 64) "With a face like that I'll be whoever you want me to be." 65) "Hey, you have eyes, do you think this outfit makes me look fat? You can be honest, I can handle it." 66) "I'm just looking for a nice person to settle down with who'll fuck me hard and tell me they love me when they cum on my face, like, I feel like that's not too fucking much to ask for, you know? Anyway, I'll have a diet coke and the chicken salad, please." 67) "I swear to god, this is not what it looks like." 68) "First of all, don't you fucking come in here and try and start a fight with my best friend while you're looking straight goofy as hell in those fucking Walmart shorts and those thrift store crocs." 69) "HEY! YOU ACROSS THE STREET! YOUR DOG IS SO FUCKING CUTE AND I WOULD FUCKING DIE FOR THEM!" 70) "Anyone who says they don't like musicals is either lying to themselves, has never watched one, or is a heartless android sent by the government to blend into society and collect information about us." 71) "Asking someone out is easy, watch this. Hi, I think you're cute and if you're not seeing anyone do you want to go out sometime?" 72) "Hey, I saw you crying earlier when you stepped on a bug. Do you need me to, like, call someone for you?" 73) "I can't tell if you're really high and just hungry or if you're buying 28 family bags of shredded cheese at three am because you just love cheese. Either way you should probably also buy some laxatives or lactaid while you're already here." 74) "When I told you to make a power point about something you're passionate about for our first class meeting I didn't mean make a power point on 'How to Give Great Head' and I absolutely didn't tell you to include pictures." 75) "Are you wearing that tacky ass outfit because you genuinely like it or because you're a Leo and crave the attention?" 76) "Did you really just buy the last chocolate chocolate chip muffin? You are now dead to me." 77) "The fuck are you looking at loser?" 78) "Dude, books are just like subtitles without the movie." 79) "Hey, in your tinder bio is says your friends call you Badger Slammin' Sam and I literally only swiped right just to find out why." 80) "Are you hitting on me? Am I being punked? Are you a hooker? Did my dumbass friend put you up to this?" 81) "Hey, I need you to settle something for me and my friend. Which is the right way to pronounce carrot?" 82) "Do you believe in love at first sight, what about disgust at first glance?" 83) "Look, I'm not saying that MCR's last album changed my life, but I'm absolutely saying that." 84) "Can you move out of my way, I have to clean puke off the floor before I'm allowed to use my lunch break to cry in my car." 85) "Hi, I believe this very drunk person is your roommate, they told me this is the address. I caught them in my backyard playing with my dog again." 86) "I know you're probably not allowed to do this, but I kind of need to borrow an iguana." 87) "Hey, I saw you drop your sandwich in the parking lot earlier and start crying and I felt bad for not saying anything earlier, but I went to the sandwich shop and luckily the dude remembered your oddly specific order so I got you another one. I hope you get to feeling better." 88) "No, we don't sell 'that crazy kush' here, you can try Target." 89) "I was just calling because you sent me a picture text three weeks ago by accident with the caption 'When they let you deliver the digiorno after you clap them cheeks.' and I was just wondering if you could explain what that means because it's been keeping me up at night ever since you sent it." 90) "Hey, I just overheard you talking with your friends about how you put mustard, ketchup, and ranch on your macaroni and cheese and I just wanted to come over here and personally ask you which circle of hell you crawled up from." 91) "What the fuck is a diet water?" 92) "You guys here for the orgy?" 93) "Was that your scream? Why did it sound like a banshee?" 94) "I saw you pour two five hour energy shots into a cup of coffee earlier and then proceed to mix it with monster and red bull and like, dude I know this isn't really my place or whatever but I think you should probably go to the hospital. Like, I think you're gonna die." 95) "Your profile said you're a vegan but my profile says 'Only contact if you eat ass' and you contacted me, so what's the truth here?" 96) "Call me adorable one more time and I'll knock your teeth down your fucking throat." 97) "Move, I have to go fail my Stats test before I can go home and cry into a bag of hot cheetos while I rewatch The Office." 98) "I'm sorry, did you just order a fifty piece mcnugget for here, for yourself?" 99) "So, how do you feel about lizards?" 100) "Question, are you a top or a bottom, because you're giving off major power bottom energy but I'm not one hundred percent sure."

[woos-sweaterpaws]

i want to get to know you so do 1-50 (except 29) 🌻

This is really really sweet of you anon thank u!!

__________________________________________

1. how many pillows do you sleep with?

I have 6 in my bed rn

and over 20 plushies

its never enough

2. do you believe in soulmates?

yes i do

3. would you ever kiss a stranger?

yes but not if its like total-never-spoke-to-them stranger

4. describe your dream house

i would prefer not a house but a nice penthouse-loft-apartment in a big city with a nice view and big windows

interior would be minimalistic style with light wood and a big double sized bed for me (since i dont think i will have a partner lol)

i would love an apartment with multiple floors or like a half-floor for the bedroom

5. do you usually use cash or card?

card

6. do you enjoy driving in general?

i hate it with a burning passion

7. do you like your name? if not, what would you change your name to?

i dont HATE my name

there are better/prettier ones but i think mine fits me

i would still like a more international name (since mine is kinda weird in the english speaking world) but  i dont have smth specific in mind

8. what’s your favorite cuisine?

italian ~

9. how often do you get massages?

i dont o.o i got some a few years ago because my back is fucked but otherwise never

10. do you play video games? if so, what games?

generally chill games like animal crossing, stardew valley and such, the big nintendo titles like mario kart and zelda, binding of isaac

11. do you prefer to color with colored pencils, crayons, or markers?

colored pencils!

12. what other fandoms are you in?

oh boy

okay so apart from all of kpop and thai dramas im in

skam

aftg

hp

trc

the mentioned video games if you wanna count that as fandoms

im probably forgetting a ton rn

13. do you have a signature in your style/everyday outfits?

if its comfy i like it

usually involves hoodies or boys shirts

i prefer if i dont have to worry about showing skin somewhere i dont want to

14. do you have any pets? if not, do you want some in the future?

no i dont have any atm but i had bunnies, birds and a guniea pig before. and yes i want cats when i move out

15. do you give objects you own a name? (car, house, plants, etc)

i named my cactus but it died (plants hate me) i also name all my plushies and random animals on the street

16. do you like the weather where you live?

its okay yea. summers are not too hot but i wish the winters were cold enough for snow :(

17. if you could wear one color for the rest of your life, what would it be?

black! its generally my comfort color in clothes

18. do you like making small talk?

WHO tf likes smalltalk? no!

19. what’s your favorite social media platform?

tumblr 100%

20. have you ever been to hawaii?

no :(

21. name a fashion trend that you absolutely hate

no offence but crop tops

i dont hate them they look good on you guys

but i hate that i cant find hoodies and shirts in womans sections anymore that arent cropped (ive been searching the past 6 months and everytime i like smth its cropped - i especially hated that when looking for oversized hoodies)

i dont wear them myself because cold so it sucks not finding cute clothes

i also fundamentally disagree with mustard-yellow

22. name a fashion trend that you absolutely love

oversized hoodies with ripped jeans and boots was my winter favourite

23. what was the last text you sent?

“okay” in out family groupchat lol

24. when making plans, do you like to organize or go with the flow when the time comes?

i like it to be organized but not be the one who actually organizes it if that makes sense?

25. what do you want to name your future kids?

i dont want kids but i wanna name my cats mochi and (c)leo (depending on gender)

26. do you have a type?

with looks i generally prefer darker hair with pretty eyes but if im comfortable with u it doesnt matter

if u like cuddling, are patient and gentle and love to make jokes that arent funny i probably like u lots

27. when was the last time you kissed someone?

like...kissed kissed? in grade 7 so...2012? my first and last kiss lol

28. how often do you cook?

as often as necessary, as little as possible (i cant really cook except for pasta and stuff so im mostly living of instant meals and “cut up a lot of things and put it in a pan until its browned” kinda stuff)

30. do you always remember your dreams?

no i dont

i had a dream diary once but that was a disaster

31. do you believe in ghosts?

yea kinda

i believe in invisible spirits/souls living with us yea

32. would you ever want to move outside of your country?

sometimes? im too scared to actually do it but there are many nice cities i would love to live in

33. describe your first love

well idk about love...it was always more of an obsession kinda thing and it was never a two-way-thing so i never had a real first love...

34. more peanut butter or more jelly?

i hate peanuts so no pb and only jelly (or nutella if you love me)

35. do your irls know about your tumblr account?

they know i have a tumblr but only my best friend actually follows me (and a high school friend i lost contact to)

my other friends dont have tumblr so they dont care

36. do you prefer hot or cold beverages?

cold!

37. when was the last time you finished a book?

i reread the aftg series last december for the 4th time

38. what would you want your wedding colors to be?

green-white? like a soft bright pastel green? maybe add pastel pink too

39. how long do you let your nails grow?

if i can see them clearly from the inside of my hand i cut them

40. if you could stay at a certain age, what age would you pick?

probably 19 or 7 theres no in between

41. who do you think has it easiest: older siblings or younger siblings?

older siblings because they learn responsibility earlier

i dont have siblings tho so idk

42. how often do you post on social media?

on tumblr daily, on insta never, on twitter occasionally if fun stuff happens

43. do you enjoy big groups?

nope

44. do you like it when you’re awaken by the sounds of birds chirping?

its better than my alarm but waaay too early so nope

45. which hand is your favorite?

left?

46. how many people do you follow?

1152 (yes i might have a problem)

47. how many followers do you have?

359 on my main and 27 on my fandom side account

48. how many drafts do you have?

53 but i use it to save posts i find interesting or that contain links i might need later

49. do you hang or fold your sweaters?

hang because im lazy and it saves space on the clothes dryer rack

50. even numbers or odd?

odd!

[bratshaws]

goodness gracious 74. brb x oc

a/n: * breakdances* hell yeah my guys, hell yeah

check out the fic's playlist made by the sweet @wiipes !!

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: FLUFF GOD IM SO ASKKAJSNKAJWDN i love them

chapters:

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16/17/18/19/20/21/22/23/24/25/26/27/28/29/30/31/32/33/34/35/36/37/38/39/40/41/42/43/44

45/46/47/48/49/50/51/52/53/54/55/56/57/58/59/60/61/62/63/64

65/66/67/68/69/70/71/72/73

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!!)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2 @emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads

-

Beatrice’s smile never faltered when he took them to the movies, specifically the cinema where they watched Alien the first time together. They haven’t been there since their first date almost seven months ago – seven months. They really have been together for seven months!!

She was a bit surprised to see the movies that night were the Lord of the Rings trilogy and while the movies weren't as old as the usual selection she was more than happy to see it there.

As was Bradley, who once he found out they’d be screening it that night he wasted no time in bringing Beatrice. Just the way her eyes shone brightly seeing the posters on the walls was enough for him. Plus, he’s been so busy lately they haven’t been having a lot of time to go out on date nights as often - it bothered him even if Beatrice said she didn’t mind.

Beatrice looked at the three posters next to each other while Rooster got them snacks for the night, stepping closer to her smiling form, ‘You know,I was eight years old when the first movie came out.” she murmured, “Leo and Mikey went to watch it and I remember being so upset I couldn’t go and even more seeing how excited they were when they came back…I actually never saw any of the movies in a movie theater. I was under thirteen.”

“Well, you can now.” he saw her smile widen and the way she bounced a bit on the balls of her feet with excitement, turning to look over the top of her head to the rooms where the first movie would be screened, “Come on.” he offers her his hand, the other holding all the snacks he got - yes he did get a some chocolate, he’s a grown man who has absolute control of his sweet tooth - as they make their way inside.

This time there were more people than in the Alien movies, which wasn’t surprising considering how popular LOTR still is. Some were dressed like characters, he saw at least five Gandalfs and three Frodos from where he was. Beatrice was still smiling, holding his hand tightly until they found their seats. They sat down and Rooster immediately placed the popcorn between them, alongside the snacks that were way cheaper than an actual cinema. He already liked that.

While they waited, Rooster’s hand met hers across the seat, rubbing her knuckles soothingly then bringing it up to his lips to kiss the back, smiling at her. Beatrice smiles back, squeezing his hand as they waited for the movie to begin, his girlfriend’s leg bouncing anxiously, waiting for the screen to turn on almost as if she was ready to run to the projector area and turn it on. 

The second the lights turned off, one by one, the cheers that erupted from the crowd almost deafened them, but Beatrice didn’t care. She shook his hand excitedly, “It’s happening!” she squealed in a quiet voice, “I’m going to watch LOTR in a movie theater!!!” Honestly, just seeing her happy like that was more than he could ever ask for. His enamored eyes only left her smiling face when the first scene finally rolled in. He honestly was so used to reading the books - which he still hasn’t finished, not because he didn’t want to but because he knew if he started nothing else would be able to snap him out of the iron focus - that rewatching the movie after so long was interesting.

Unlike Beatrice, who was too young to watch it, he was fifteen when the first movie was available, he ended up going with some of his school friends there but he could remember only a few scenes - very vaguely too. But he had a feeling he’d be reminded of quotes and moments just because of Beatrice.

He sneaked another look her way, seeing her lips move alongside Gandalf’s monologue in his very first appearance. Her face lights up like the fireworks in the Shire, her legs still moving excitedly while she is still seated, it was like watching a young Beatrice finally be able to live her dream of watching her favorite movies the way she always wanted to. He knew the movies were long and if she wanted they could watch all of them since they got there around afternoon.

His day at work was stressful but he didn’t want to tell her about it, especially not when she looked so happy. It was just another day where something went awry and his temper flared a bit, but it was quickly resolved. Right now he could relax and forget whatever bad it was that happened, choosing to keep his eyes and senses on Bea and her thrilled energy. 

Every time a certain scene would come up, Beatrice would either mouth her lips along or she’d lean closer to him to say how it compared to the book. Beatrice’s pure giddiness over watching one of her favorite movies was so…lovely to see. He knew that the first time they came here, their very first date seemed longer than seven months ago. He never told her but he was a bit nervous, which rarely happens when it comes to going out with someone, he really just wanted to show her he genuinely liked her and wanted to be with her.

-

Rooster entered the flower shop with his hands sweating, he still had a few minutes before he showed up at Beatrice’s house to pick her up. He had never been this nervous, maybe when he was younger, but never as an adult. He scratched the side of his neck, looking around the different floral arrangements hoping to find one that really called Beatrice’s name.

He dug his hands in his pockets, looking back at the woman on the cash register who was busy helping other customers to pay attention to him. Should he even get something already made? Something in him said to find flowers that reminded him of Beatrice and ask the lady to prepare him a bouquet. He wandered around the aisles, the smell of different flowers hitting his nose at every step, still trying to find something that could represent Bea the best.

He wracked his mind trying to think: she was really sweet, every time her cheeks turned red his heart did backflips, she was beautiful yet extremely bashful about it. She was great at volleyball and she smelled like lavender. He blinks when the word appears in his mind. Lavender! That’s a great option! It reminded him of her…but he needed something else, something more. He looked around for a few more seconds, then his eyes stopped on a tiny bucket filled with fresh daisies and he smiles.

There it was. It was perfect!

It wouldn’t be a big one and he hoped she wouldn’t mind, which he had a feeling she wouldn’t, not really. He waits until the customers from before leave, then approaches the lady on the front explaining to her what he wanted. The lady, who looked to be around her early 60’s, gave him a knowing smile but nodded, telling him to wait at the counter as she gathered the flowers.

Bradley’s stomach was flipping back and forth, somersaulting almost with nerves and excitement. How long had he tried to talk to her? A long time, and she always ran away from him, he never gave up because he really, really liked her. It wasn’t the normal kind of infatuation you’d get– well, it was a crush, he was crushing hard on her for these past months so…to him, what was about to happen tonight was very special. 

He hasn’t had a crush in ages and now at the ripe age of thirty six, here he was. He looked down at his watch just to check, easing out a breath when noticing he still had quite a bit of time before going there. Bradley smiles politely back at the lady when she returns, the bouquet being done quickly before his eyes and she asks him if it was for someone special, “Yeah,” he answers, watching her quickly wrap all those flowers inside the paper, “It’s going to be our first date and I want to make a good impression.”

“Well,I think you’ll do fine. Lavenders represent devotion and calmness, while daisies represent new beginnings.” she tilts her head up when she finishes both her sentence and the bouquet, “So I have a feeling you’ll do just fine.” He laughed softly, dropping his head sheepishly, thanking her once he grabbed the flowers and paid her. He looked down at the small floral arrangement, it really looked so much smaller in his hand, being careful to not crush the stems or crinkle the paper too much.

He sets it down on the passenger seat, almost as if the bouquet is a passenger itself, making sure it wouldn’t be squashed on the drive over to Bea’s. He sucked in a breath, easing some of his nerves and trying to focus on the road instead of how much he wanted to give her a good time tonight.

The scene yesterday broke his heart. genuinely, he’d never want to see her crying like that again and he was shocked she thought he was asking her out on a date because he was feeling bad for her. He knew she had self esteem issues even from the way she acted around him and the others, but him especially, but he didn’t think it’d be…so bad. If she asked that it meant that…it happened before and God that thought was just going to make him angry.

No, they were going to have a nice night, they were going to have fun and she’s going to enjoy herself. He parks the Bronco in front of her house, looking at the lights on the second floor where her loft was, “Okay.” he rolls his neck and shoulders, grabbing the flowers and stepping out. 

He hides his arm behind his back, wondering how he could wait for her. Standing by the door was fine, but what if he leaned over? Yeah. Yeah that was a lot better. He smiled hearing her voice froming from inside after she heard him by the door, keeping himself together when the doorknob turned and she appeared in front of him.

-

Seven whole months. 

He was extremely thankful of how their relationship developed over the time they were together, especially when it came to Beatrice being comfortable around him and comfortable around her own body. It was amazing to see the growth in both of them really, both of them were more open with their thoughts and words, they talked like any healthy couple should do and they figured things out.

God he wanted to marry her.

It took him some thinking, but he was decisive about it now. Especially after talking to Mav. Their leases would turn by the end of the month, so they should try and look for places now so they could move out. Not to mention the surprise birthday party he,Evelyn and Shells were working on.

Surprisingly how the blonde didn’t open her mouth to excitedly tell others - aka Bob - about it. So far everything was going well, so all he had to do was wait for the right time. His eyes turned to her ring finger, the same one wrapped around his hand alongside its siblings, trying to check what size she would be.

She rarely used rings besides the one in her thumb, so he wondered if she had any jewelry in her place he could take a look. He didn’t want to snoop, but he also didn’t want to tell her about it yet. He just looked at her by the corner of his eye, smiling down at her elated face and then leaning back on his seat completely, deciding that he should watch the movie now.

-

“Did I tell you what my future nephew or niece will be named?.'' They left the movie theater a few minutes before midnight - absolutely starving because popcorn does not fill anyone’s stomachs like that -, had a late dinner by the same taco truck they went before and now were walking around to help with digestion. 

Rooster smiles down at her, hugging her to his side to press a kiss to the top of her head, “No, tell me.”

“Eowyn if it’s a girl or Aragorn if it’s a boy.” she says, making Bradley chuff out a soft laugh and pull his head back from her own, “I’m serious! I mean,I don’t hate it but, imagine the things this child will go through in the future!” Beatrice sighs, “At least Bibi is okay with it now, she’s even excited to be an older sister.”

“I thought she might.” Rooster adds, “It’s just something for her to get used to you know?” Beatrice agrees with a nod, holding his hand with their fingers interlaced, “When is it going to be born?”

“According to Cyn, around October.” she says,”It’s going to be so cute. I’m kinda excited to be an aunt again.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah! I like kids and I like my nephews and nieces.” he knew that he could see the way she was around them, especially Bianca. “It’s…really fun.” he noticed how her voice faltered just a bit at the end of her sentence, but she kept on smiling.

Beatrice held the words ‘but it’s weird being the only one without a child besides Michael’, she never told Brad but her mother has been…very specific ever since Leo announced the second baby. The last time she visited by herself her mother offered her tea, she was very vocal about how she should take all of it before she left. 

It took one sniff to figure out what it actually was: red clover tea, a herb that’s known to help with fertility and pregnancies. She knew that because her nonna used to have some in her garden and would always prepare some tea for her siblings and months later they’d find out they were to have kids.

While she…appreciated the thought, she wished her mother wasn’t so insistent about it. Yes, she had Bradley now but she couldn’t just…do it…without talking to him. A lot was going to happen before that, a whole lot so she gently cut her mother off and tossed the tea down the drain when her mother got busy enough.

“Michael doesn’t have kids does he?” Rooster asks when they pause their walking to watch the sea in the distance, the waves larger and louder because of the full moon, “I always saw him alone.”

“Oh, no, Michael is the ‘cool bachelor uncle’.” she air quotes with a shake of her head, “He just…well…he’s never had an actual long relationship. He also likes the single life a lot more. He prefers it, really. He’s always the one that helps the kids with stuff like…first dates, first…I don’t know, first time drinking, first time driving. He likes to be part of that.”

Michael was always the wildest of them all, thinking of him settling down…with anyone was a bit hard to imagine. Not because he couldn’t be loving, but because she didn’t think whoever his partner was would be able to handle her older brother’s caffeine induced personality most of the time. They always joked that Michael was Mambo Number 5 if the song was a person.

Which does make sense in a way.

“I think a girl tried telling him he was the father of her kid.” Beatrice explains, “I don’t know,I was really young when it happened and, you know, he was going to step up to it and be a dad but then eventually it was found out that he wasn’t the father and he got…really upset. I think he just gave up after that.”

“Honestly from what I’ve seen of Michael he doesn’t seem too bummed about it.”

Beatrice smiles softly, crossing her arms below her bust with her eyes still on the waves, “Oh he’s not, I think he’s gotten used to it now. He even told my parents to not expect grandchildren from him.” she laughs gently, but her cheeks redden at what the words suddenly implicated and hoped that Rooster wouldn’t get it.

But he just takes in the information in silence, if he noticed something within it he doesn’t say it, instead he looks down at her with a smile, “At least they have everyone else instead huh?” he says and Beatrice nods, facing the ocean alongside him. Beatrice then sighs, tucking strands of her behind her ears as she feels the wind pick up around them.

He took that as his cue for them to go back to the car before it got worse, placing his hand on the small of her back and shielding her from the harsher gusts of wind until they got back inside the Bronco.

-

Rooster spent the night over, since he didn’t think it’d be wise for him to just go all the way back to his apartment just to sleep when he could enjoy the lovely company of no one other but his girlfriend. Plus some of his things were already there, so why not? He did wake up very early, earlier than he normally did whenever he spent time there and his body was a bit confused by what was happening.

Beatrice however surprised him, because she was up before he was, sitting on the kitchen chair with Jolene lying by her feet, waiting for the coffee maker to be done. He runs his hand over his face so he’d wake up, leaning against the doorframe to watch Beatrice since she hadn’t noticed him yet, her own eyes blinking hard to keep herself awake. He smirks, pushing himself from the door to step into the kitchen, the sound of his footsteps finally making the brunette snap her eyes in his direction, “Oh, hey.”

‘Hey,” he grins, leaning down to kiss her temple, “What are you doing up? You know I have to wake up really early during the week.” she hums, leaning into his kiss with the same sleepy look on her face, watching him open the cabinets to grab their mugs from inside.

“Just wanted to be here with you.” she says quietly, almost slurred, leaning on her hand to support her head up, thanking him when he places the Ponyo mug in front of her, “Thought…” she yawns mid-sentence” Thought I better get used to it.”

Because they were going to move in really soon, god she was so sweet, “Baby, you don’t have to. I know how much your sleep means to you and you need your rest.” but he did appreciate her being with him, he really did. “Do you want me to make you breakfast then? I can whip something really quick.”

“No, no it’s fine.” she inhales, rubbing her face with both hands, tapping her cheeks to wake up fully, then blinking her eyes open, “I can do something, what do you usually take before going to work?”

Bradley thinks about it, following her hips’ sway as she walks to the fridge, tilting his head to the side to have a better look of her behind, “Honestly, considering the time now…I’d probably have scrambled eggs and coffee.”

“No bacon?” she questions, already grabbing a few eggs with her body leaning back from the fridge “Okay,I can do that.” 

“You don’t have to, baby.”

“It’s okay!” she tells him, gently placing the eggs inside a blue porcelain bowl, “I don’t mind it, really.”

“Okay…only if you promise to go back to sleep after I leave.”

“Oh, I don’t even have to promise that.”

Both of them laugh at the joke, with Rooster leaning on his hand now, watching Beatrice prepare him scrambled eggs with a smile on her face. This would be routine for them, she was right, and he too had to get used to it, ‘So,” he begins, “Maybe this week we can look at some places.” she keeps on moving the fork rapidly inside the bowl to mix the eggs, but looks over her shoulder to where he was seated, “You know? And get some things  settled.”

Beatrice smiles, pouring the eggs inside the heated pan, “I’d like that…considering the time we’d have to do it too.” she was very excited, she couldn’t believe it, her stomach was flipping with happy nerves and the pure joy of living together with Rooster. With the man she loved! It’d be a completely new experience for both, but since they already talked about the basics - finances and whatnot - this would be really fun.

She places the scrambled eggs on a plate, sliding it over to Rooster and kissing his temple, “I’m going to get your coffee.” she whispers on his hair, kissing his forehead and then stepping back to fill his mug. Bradley could only smile with his heart filled with so much love for this woman he didn’t know what else to do, besides,well, anxiously waiting for the moving day to come.

He’d have to tell Mav, he figured that keeping that secret from him wouldn’t be wise especially considering they’d need help moving everything to the new place, and his godfather would never forgive him if he found that out by anyone that wasn’t him. So, that was going to be the plan for that day, talk to Mav about the move in with Bea and hopefully Pete wouldn’t cry when he finds out about it.

Beatrice joins him for the rest of breakfast, choosing to not eat anything yet since she felt she’d just fall asleep soon after she was done, she just sat with him and they chatted about everything they should do until the fateful day…and Beatrice casually said something about celebrating her birthday, loving if they could do to the karaoke bar she and the girls went when he was deployed last time.

He was mentally cheering that she said that, because it was one of the options he thought about and now he could talk to Evelyn and they could organize this easily without hiccups. He noticed that over time Beatrice’s words slowly got quieter and quieter, with her eyes fighting to keep awake and her hand turning more into a pillow and something to support her head up.

He finishes his breakfast in silence, seeing that Beatrice was now fully asleep while on the kitchen table and smiles to himself, gently placing the plate in the sink so it wouldn’t make any noise and then picking a snoozing Beatrice out of the chair in bridal style, tsking twice so Jolene would follow him.

Rooster carefully places Beatrice back on the bed, tucking her with the bed sheets and leaning down to kiss her cheek, “Sleep well gorgeous.” he whispers, “I’ll see you later.” he looks back down at Jolene who was now seated by the end of the bed, “Keep and eye on her, Jojo.” he playfully pets the pitbull’s head, before disappearing into the bathroom to change and get ready for work.

[mascaratearsnlipsticksmears]

1..Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably My son

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy until I’m

Comfortable

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My surgeon

4. Are you easy to get along with? I try to Be. Don’t give me a reason to not Like you 😉

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Never had someone take care of me from drinking .....I’m usually taking care of everyone else

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Loyal. Chill. Down to earth .

7. Are you married? No.

8. Do you want to get married? Eventually . I do , but I need it to be for the right reason.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Makes me feel Lonely lately believe it or not.... 😔

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Oh cool 😎”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

lil peep- star shopper

Brand new-Jesus Christ

Bebe rexha- I’m a mess

Anything Billie eillish

Doja cat -rules

Ashnikko-daisy

That’s more than 5, Idc

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Only certain people

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I don’t know anymore

15. What good thing happened this summer? Got a tan and not covid 👌🏼👌🏼

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? My little guy? I will kiss him when ever I can cause one day he’s not gonna want me to and I’ll be sad

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Yes

19. Do you like bubble baths? 110%

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yea

21. What are you bad habits? Overthinking, caring to much.

22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere

23. Do you have trust issues? No, people that scumbag me Normally get cut off so I only keep ppl around I trust.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Coffee & a bowl

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Uhhh everything from the chin down 😔

26. What do you do when you wake up? Set gage up for class in the living room

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around? Lauren Rayza

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? They don’t get the chance, yes a few tried to contact me but my mentality is fuck them.... one even tried emailing my friends to reach me 🙄🙄🖕🏼

30. Do you ever want to get married? I do, one day. Didn’t I just answer this

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Idk I’d have to think about it

33. Spell your name with your chin. The fuck?

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Bought a bike yesterday Lol. I used to be on the swim team and I played soccer~ also took dance for 7 years.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Depends on my mood

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Absolutely.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? Try to avoid them at all Costs

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? No.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Sephora Ulta Victoria secret

40. What do you want to do after high school? Lol I think that bridge has been crosses already

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Not everyone , no.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Normally bad anxiety and hurting , or extremely chill

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yea I do.... but now I forget I have a mask on and look like a retard

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Can I just going fishing ?

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? My son.

46. What are you paranoid about? Money

47. Have you ever been high? There’s a joint in my hand.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Who writes these things??

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Navy

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Eh wish I was still me with more $$$

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? I don’t have to wish, I’m doing it.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Tarte, morphs, fenty

54. Favourite store? Didn’t I answer this?

55. Favourite blog? My own💚

56. Favourite colour? Black, Periwinkle , light lavender ,pink

57. Favourite food? Japanese

58. Last thing you ate? 8 hours slow cooked ribs

59. First thing you ate this morning? Coffee

60. Ever won a competition? For what? Probably & Idr

61. Been suspended/expelled? Started a food fight in the science lab and they suspended the wrong Angela ~Womp womp...I did get detention a lot cause my shirt was too low in the front tho.

62. Been arrested? No

63. Ever been in love? Yea I think so

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? No. ☺️

65. Are you hungry right now? I could eat.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? Meh

67. Facebook or Twitter? Fb

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?yes

70. Names of your bestfriends? Stephanie Lauren Rayza Kat Christina

71. Craving something? A simple hand hold...😔.... compliment here or there . To not have to do everything myself... I crave the help I constantly ask for and never get. I crave dick, I just don’t understand this shit anymore.... damnit tumblr u struck a nerve .

72. What colour are your towels? Mixed

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 1

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?idk

75. Favourite animal? So many..... tigers maybe? & Lynx. Sharks.

76. What colour is your underwear? Not wearing any 😬

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Mint chocolate chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Olive green

80. What colour pants? None on.

81. Favourite tv show? In the dark

82. Favourite movie? All 50 shades.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? First one

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? How do these compare

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? The Lebanese chick

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Turtles

87. First person you talked to today? Gage

88. Last person you talked to today? Myself

89. Name a person you hate? Hate is a strong word.

90. Name a person you love? Gage

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Lol Geoff

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? No idea

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?Too many

95. Last movie you watched? “What if”

96. Favourite actress? Perry Mattfeld

97. Favourite actor? Hmmmm

98. Do you tan a lot?yassss

99. Have any pets? A zoo

100. How are you feeling? Confused, tired burning out ..

101. Do you type fast? I try

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Yes

103. Can you spell well? Eh

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yes

108. What should you be doing? Listing stuff on Etsy

109. Is something irritating you right now? No

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Absolutely

111. Do you have trust issues? No, just don’t give me a reason too.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Ohhhh I don’t cry in front of ppl,cause then there’s a witness... did cry today tho, but you couldn’t see me.

113. What was your childhood nickname? Angiefur

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes

115. Do you play the Wii?not really

116. Are you listening to music right now? No

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes

119. Favourite book? Crank

120. Are you afraid of the dark?some times

121. Are you mean? Don’t cross me 😘

122. Do you believe in “the one that got away”? Yes.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? I try

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Idk

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

126. Are you currently bored? Yes

127. What makes you happy? Attention lol romance? I think romance is dead tho...

128. Would you change your name? My last name? If I were getting married, yes

129. What your zodiac sign? Leo

130. Do you like subway? Food yes, smelly train no....

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? All my besties have vaginas, nothing to worry about.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Steve

133. Favourite lyrics right now? Brand new : Jesus Christ

134. Can you count to one million? Yea but why

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t lie so I don’t have that problem

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed Cause only 1 Of my 4 asshole cats I allowed in my room

137. How tall are you? Oh how short am I? 5’1

138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde? Right now black

140. Summer or Winter?summer

141. Night or Day? Summer nights

142. Favourite month? August

143. Are you a vegetarian? Keto

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee

146. Was today a good day? I think so

147. Mars or Snickers? Dark chocolate Milky Way

148. What’s your favourite quote? I’d have to think about it

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“His thumb brushes my lower lip, and his breath hitches. He’s staring into my eyes, and I hold his anxious, burning gaze for a moment, or maybe it’s forever…but eventually, my attention is drawn to his beautiful mouth. And for the first time in twenty-one years, I want to be kissed.”

Excerpt From

Fifty Shades Trilogy Bundle: Fifty Shades of Grey; Fifty Shades Darker; Fifty Shades Freed

E L James

This material may be protected by copyright.

[seb-owns-these-tatas]

‘Twink day Mania’ 👶

Henlo, Tater tots! It is I, Tata who is addicted and obsessed with TWINK SEBASTIAN! LMAO. I am close to 200 followers so I’ll be officially announcing that today is Twink Day Mania!. Heehee! 

These prompts are also taken in Tumblr, however it is originally saved in my Wattpad and I haven’t got and saved the original creator of this prompts ahead. So, if you happen to own these prompts, tell me! I’ll give you credit, of course! 

Rules: Send me a number in my asks, along with what type of Twink Seb do you want as I use the dialogue. I don’t write pairings, buddies! Only Y/N or You. Sorry! 

Drabbles will only be written which will probably consist of 300-500 words. Characters included in this drabble day of mine is TJ HAMMOND, CARTER BAIZEN, WILL FRANKLYN (THOUGH, I WILL NOT FOLLOW THE PLOT OF THE SHOW BECAUSE I STILL HAVEN’T WATCHED IT YET), LEO REILLY, MARTIN WATERS, CHASE COLLINS, JACK BENJAMIN AND TWINK SEBASTIAN STAN HIMSELF. 

Photos taken from @daybreak96​ post!

PROMPTS: 

1. “👶, you’re not a bother.” - “I’m too needy, you don’t deserve it.” 2. “Come with me to the other room.” - “We’re not going to talk about this now.” 3. “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?” 4. “Don’t yell at me like I’m a 👶!!” - “DON’T THROW ✂️!” 5. “Here, take me blanket/jacket.” - “I told you, I’m not cold.” *shivering* 6. “I just wanted an easy day with my boyfriend/girlfriend. Is that too much to ask?” 7. “Why are you awake right now?” 8. “Come over here and make me.” 9. “No, I’m not talking to you.” 10. “No more!” - “🆗, fine, I won’t send you any more selfies.” 11. “What do you have?” - “🍕 rolls and Cup O’ Noodles…that’s about it. 🍿?” 12. “The salad here is really good.” - “Do I look like a fucking 🐰?” 13. “Open this.” - “Can you say please?” 14. “You’re on level 176.” - “Can you judge me harder?” 15. “Please don’t leave me.” - “I don’t want to go” 16. “Babe, I’m sorry.” - “Suck my ass.” 17. “Liar, liar, pants on 🔥!” - “Seriously, you’re worse than a kid.” 18. “You can’t ride a 🚴?” - “Why are we whispering?” 19. “Is it that time of the month?” - “You literally ask me that whenever I’m mad at you!” 20. “We’re going downtown.” - “There’s a strip club downtown.” 21. “Take it off.” - “Like a bandaid?” 22. “I told you…” - “Yeah, yeah, yeah, quit nagging.” 23. “Boo?” - “You’re my boo.” 24. “Don’t you ever do that again! You 😨 the 💩 out of me!” 25. “You broke what?!?” - “Don’t worry, I’m 🆗.” 26. “Why’re you dressed like that?” - “Does that mean it looks good or should I change?” 27. “Fine, just do what you have to do.” - “Can you stop being so freaking cute so I can concentrate?” 28. “You can’t make me.” - “What are you? Five?” 29. “I hate you.” - “No, you don’t.” 30. “I’m your lock screen?!” - “You weren’t supposed to 👀 that.” 31. “Come inside, I’m sorry.” - “Not until you apologize.” - “I just said I’m freaking sorry.” 32. “Your voice is sexy.” - “Your ass is sexy.” 33. “It’s just so little and adorable.” - “That’s what she said.” 34. “You’re not mature enough to be a parent.” - “Try me.” 35. “Game’s over, you son of a bitch!!” - “🆗, just don’t hit me.” 36. “You forgot about my 🎂!” - “In my defense, I forget about a lot of things.” 37. “You need more stamina.” - “No, I need more steak and eggs. So…get on it.” 38. “I’ll smash it, I swear.” - “You smash it and we’re done.” 39. “Move!” - “Why would I move if I’m so comfy where I am?” 40. “I really would’ve liked it if you told me your parents were coming to town.” - “I really would’ve liked it if you put underwear on before coming into the kitchen.” 41. “Can you quit being so sassy?” - “Can you quit being so controlling?” 42. “Are you getting jealous?” - “You’re changing your outfit, now!” 43. Quit flirting.” - “I didn’t mean to-” 44. Are you high?” - “I’m just so fucking tired.” 45. “Who’s texting you?” - “Umm. nobody.” 46.“I want a 🐕.” - “I want a 🐱.” 47. “These sheets are stained.” - “That’s disgusting.” 48. “That’s my ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.” - “Well, 😘 me so they 👀.” 49. “Hey, babe, look what I found.” - “GET THAT OUT OF THE 🏠 NOW!!!” 50. “You’ve been replaced.” - “Alright, we’ll 👀 how you feel when you need me to kill a 🕷️ in the 🚿.” 51. “Are those slippers?” - “Is that you being mean? AGAIN?” 52. “Why’d you hug him? You 😍 him?” 53. “This 🛀 is too damn hot.” - “This is why we can’t do cute things. You complain too much.”

The drabbles will be posted with the hashtag ‘#TwinkDayMania’. This is my first time doing this and I hope I’m doing it right? Heehee! GO SEND ME ASKS NOW! CREDITS TO THE PERSON WHO MADE THE PROMPTS!

XOXO,

TATA

[tabloidtoc]

Star, January 11

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover Story: Hollywood’s Best and Worst Bosses 

Page 1: Shia LaBeouf currently accused of relentless abuse and sexual battery by his ex FKA Twigs was snapped making out with Margaret Qualley after she arrived at LAX for a solid 10 minutes and holding up traffic -- the PDA session was the first time Shia and Margaret who is the daughter of Andie MacDowell were spotted out in public together but the two got well-acquainted a few months ago rolling around naked for a NSFW music video for a song by the actress’ sister Rainey Qualley a.k.a. Rainsford -- Shia went out of his way to charm Margaret as soon as they met and he wooed her with compliments and gifts and flowers and texts and spur-of-the-moment dates where he’d just show up at her house but her friends are concerned because Twigs’ lawsuit against Shia alleges multiple incidents of abuse including choking her in her sleep and knowingly giving her a sexually transmitted disease -- Shia said many of those allegations are not true and he is in a 12-step program and therapy for PTSD and alcoholism

Page 2: Contents, Prince William and Duchess Kate with kids Prince George and Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis for a Christmas card 

Page 3: Candice Swanepoel in a bathing suit in Miami, Jennifer Garner stepped out to run errands in a mask and an expressive sweater in L.A., Ryan Reynolds cuddled up with a puppy to encourage his Instagram followers to donate to the SickKids Foundation 

Page 4: Friends of Johnny Depp are keeping their distance as he gears up for another ugly defamation trial against ex-wife Amber Heard -- after losing the case against a U.K. newspaper that called him a wife beater and a scathing feature in The Hollywood Reporter that dubbed the star radioactive and his career all but dead, former pals want nothing to do with him -- the likes of Jude Law, Leonardo DiCaprio and Channing Tatum have been backpeddling on Johnny and it’s making him furious but to be fair Johnny had already alienated Leo and Channing by calling them Pumpkin Head and Potato Head and accusing them of having affairs with Amber -- Jude’s indifference cuts the deepest because for a time he and Johnny were brothers-in-arms as they filmed the second Fantastic Beasts movie and from Johnny’s perspective Jude hasn’t lifted a finger to defend him 

Page 5: Mossimo Giannulli’s son is speaking out claiming the fashion designer is being treated harshly at California’s Federal Correctional Institution in Lompoc and Gianni Giannulli took to social media to complain that because of the pandemic his dad has been locked in solitary confinement for one full month and is only let out every three days for a few moments to shower and Gianni, Mossimo’s son from an earlier relationship, is irate that his father is being mistreated and he feels sorry for his dad and doesn’t want to see him languishing in prison however his half sisters Bela and Olivia Jade don’t seem too bothered by it

* At age 74 Susan Sarandon has had it with men -- she said she hasn’t really had a large dating career and in fact hasn’t had a guy in five years and it’s not that she can’t get a man, it’s just that the men she attracts are losers or sub-par in some way -- she is happy hanging out in her NYC apartment but still friends can’t help trying to fix her up because she’s attractive and in phenomenal shape but the problem is she scares guys away; she’s a force they can’t handle 

* Two years after sharing her shock diagnosis with multiple sclerosis Selma Blair is struggling with pain and fear -- she was recently spotted getting emotional outside a West Hollywood cannabis shop and she has turned to medical marijuana to soothe symptoms of the chronic immune-system disorder which can include fatigue, spasticity, walking issues, numbness, weakness, vision issues and pain -- on some days she can’t even get out of bed but she’s trying to stay strong for her son Arthur and smile more for him but it’s been hard 

Page 6: Julianne Hough appears to be sweetness and light but she’s a heartbreaker according to her ex Chuck Wicks who split from Julianne in 2009 -- in a revealing podcast Chuck blasted Julianne saying they were both loving life then out of nowhere you find out that they are not the person you thought they were and you break up -- Chuck admitted that he and Julianne agreed to say their split was amicable but it wasn’t fine and it wasn’t his fault

* After holing up at his Oklahoma spread Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are having a blast decorating their 13,000-square-foot $13.2 million new home in the Encino area of California’s San Fernando Valley -- the home sits on 1.6 ultra-private acres behind double gates and extensive walls and features a pool and fabulous views -- inside the engaged pair give each other space: Gwen wants a dance studio and Blake gets his own man-cave with a big screen and high-tech surround sound 

* Star Spots the Stars -- Nicky Hilton, Katharine McPhee Foster, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt making dairy-free and plant-based holiday appetizers, Jenna Dewan, Natalia Dyer

Page 8: Big Losers -- these stars shed pounds and got healthy in 2020 -- Jessica Simpson, Rebel Wilson, Kelly Osbourne 

Page 10: Star Shots -- Gwen Stefani on the way to the recording studio in Santa Monica, Jerry O’Connell started his morning off with a fresh mimosa and a kiss from one of his dogs, Jodie Turner-Smith is the first Black actress to play Henry VIII’s ill-fated queen Anne Boleyn in a major U.K. TV series in Emley, UK 

Page 11: Nick Cannon pitched in to help distribute 2000 free meal boxes to the Hollywood Food Coalition

Page 12: Demi Moore in a yellow bow for a selfie thanking readers for checking out her memoir, Paris Hilton kicked back for a Coach campaign reintroducing the early-2000s ubiquitous Swinger bag

Page 13: Derek Hough and his dogs Romie and Luna, Irina Shayk striking a pose 

Page 14: Sofia Vergara during a photoshoot, Real Housewives of New York City alum Kristen Taekman is taking advantage of the California winter weather in a bikini in Malibu, Wells Adams takes out the trash in L.A. 

Page 16: Carrie Underwood showed off her comfy at-home style, Vanessa Hudgens and her favorite condiment, Katherine Schwarzenegger celebrates her dog’s birthday 

Page 17: Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval picked up a holiday-themed centerpiece ahead of Christmas in L.A., Katie Holmes slung a guitar over her shoulder in NYC, Dame Joan Collins dropped by The Jonathan Ross Show in London 

Page 18: Normal or Not? Hailey Baldwin shares a glimpse into her beauty routine -- normal, Tiger Woods’ son Charlie showed off his skills ahead of the PNC Championship -- normal 

Page 19: Pete Wentz playing tennis in L.A. -- normal, Pete Davidson hurt himself a few times while making a scarf -- not normal 

Page 20: Fashion -- stars charm in romantic ruffles -- Keke Palmer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lupita Nyong’o 

Page 21: Kirsten Dunst, Halsey 

Page 24: Ariana Grande announced her engagement to realtor Dalton Gomez with some celebratory shots and she’s telling everyone how she never thought it was possible to be this happy -- the couple began dating in early 2020 when Dalton helped Ariana find a home in L.A. and things hit the fast track amid the health pandemic which saw the two enjoying quality time together in lockdown and realizing they were a perfect fit because they never fight and are totally in sync about how they look at life -- Ariana went straight into wedding mode already deciding on an intimate outdoor setting in mid-2021

Page 25: Jon Hamm stepped out in L.A. recently with girlfriend Anna Osceola and she was showing off a noticeably rounder midsection and there’s a good chance the two are pregnant because they’ve been actively trying to get into the family way -- though Jon admitted in 2016 that having children isn’t necessarily an imperative Jon may have changed his tune after his year-long relationship with Anna and hitting the big 5-0 in March has him reassessing his life and now having a child has become important to him 

* Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher will be camping in style now that they’ve purchased a $140K Mercedes Benz Sprinter and they’re preparing to embark on an adventure  -- with sleeping accommodations for four and a kitchen the spacious luxury vehicle is perfect for the couple and their two kids -- other stars can spend their vacations in five-star resorts but Mila and Ashton prefer to keep things alfresco and it’s a tradition they’ve kept all these years; this is their idea of a perfectly fun vacation

Page 26: Cover Story -- Hollywood’s Best and Worst Bosses -- who’s great to work for and who makes employees’ lives a misery -- Jennifer Hudson -- best

Page 27: Jennifer Lopez -- worst, Rihanna -- best, Kenny Chesney -- best, Mariah Carey -- worst, Gwyneth Paltrow -- worst 

Page 28: Keanu Reeves -- best, Sandra Bullock -- best, Emma Watson -- worst 

Page 29: George Clooney -- best, Ellen DeGeneres -- worst, Guess the Bad Boss 

Page 30: Tom Cruise and Hayley Atwell: Man on a Mission -- amid all the tension on the set of Mission: Impossible 7 Tom has been pursuing his costar Hayley to be his next girlfriend and it seems to be working -- Tom has become very active with the U.K. Scientology Branch and is very taken with English women like Hayley and he’d like to make the U.K. his home base -- handcuffed to each other for several scenes in M:I7 Hayley and Tom were also spotted holding hands when the cameras weren’t rolling 

Page 32: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s very L.A. Christmas -- the prince spends the holidays 5000 miles away from the royal family but Meghan’s mom Doria Ragland was on hand for the festivities -- the couple were intending to call Queen Elizabeth on Christmas morning otherwise they were happy to celebrate a low-key holiday 

Page 38: Entertainment 

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas suited up to hit the slopes stopping by a local store to pick up goodies before changing into warmer gear in Mammoth Lakes in California -- the couple are familiar faces in the ski town and looking forward they will be able to plan even more snowy getaways now that they’ve listed their NYC apartment for $5.9 million and moved full-time to Encino 

[tiffdawg]

50 Questions Tag

thank you for the tag @leo-moon !! this was really fun ☺️

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

teal but it’s basically defunct since quarantine.

2.) Name a food you never eat

i’m a big foodie but i’m also vegan so no animal products for me.

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

I’m basically cold blooded so too cold.

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

taking a shower.

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

unreal pb cups (aka vegan resee’s).

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

all kinds. but the only sport i really enjoy watching is baseball.

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

just me cooing nonsense at my dog about how cute she is. typical.

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

@ home: so delicious chocolate cookies n cream or the coconut milk chocolate ice cream from trader joe’s!

@ an ice cream shop in the real world: van leeuwen’s chocolate cookie dough crunch.

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

$5 chardonnay.

10.) Do you like your wallet?

yessss it’s a really cute bifold with black and white galaxies on it bc i am a space nerd. i’ve had it for at least 7 years now.

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

lentil soup.

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

i haven’t been shopping for clothes in... months. i’m not leaving the house anytime soon so don’t need to lol.

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

there are reruns of old baseball games on constant loop in my house.

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

movie theater butter — fun fact: the butter at theaters like regal and amc is actually vegan! which makes me so happy bc popcorn is my favorite snack.

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

my bff.

16.) Ever go camping?

no. end of discussion.

17.) Do you take vitamins?

no like multivitamins but i take iron bc i’ve been anemic basically sense birth.

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

no. never.

19.) Do you have a tan?

no. i don’t spend enough time outside. yikes.

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

hmmm damn, idk... pizza?

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

i very rarely drink soda but i don’t think i usually use a straw.

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

white, black, grey.

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

i’m from socal... it’s generally expected that if there’s no traffic ya gotta enjoy it. 😅 65 means 78 baby!

24.) What terrifies you?

besides the world ending? a general and persistent fear of not being good enough for others.

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

a pile of laundry that’s been sitting there for a week. double yikes.

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

d u s t i n g. 🤬

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

le hemsworth bros.

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

diet ginger ale.

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

tbh i don’t eat a lot of fast food. if it’s something like that quick service then go in.

30.) What’s your favorite number?

4!

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

my dog. and before that my mom.

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

umm? none.

33.) Last song you listened to?

nina cried power by hozier ft. mavis staples.

34.) Last book you read?

dreaming in cuban by cristina garcía.

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

why would i want to? next question.

36.) Favorite day of the week?

friday.

37.) How do you like your coffee?

if i drink a cup of coffee i won’t sleep and i’ll have anxiety for three days. 😂 catch me with a nice cup of earl grey or green tea only.

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

i always have three shoes in rotation despite owning many more than that — black boots, black nikes, black sandals. and i’m good.

39.) Time you normally wake up?

usually around 9 if i’m lucky.

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

sunset.

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

none. just a bedsheet and a light comforter so i don’t get heatstroke in my sleep.

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

white... round... that’s it?

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

well it’s my mom’s kitchen atm so it’s very clean and looks like a mom kitchen.

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

wine: something dry like chardonnay, sauvignon blanc, or merlot.

beer: something like an ipa.

liquor: whiskey and ginger ale.

45.) Do you play cards?

no. no. no.

46.) What color is your car?

a very bright, shiny blue.

47.) Can you change a tire?

nope. and let’s hope i don’t have to.

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

well, i’ve been fortunate enough to visit a lot of beautiful places in the world. i love california with whole heart and nothing will ever change that. i also adore england, northern ireland, and ireland — hence my geographical research focus as a little historian in training! not only do i love to study those places but i’m always ridiculously happy when i’m there.

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

i worked as a researcher in a national archive for a bit. i basically got to dig through boxes and boxes of documents for months and then write whatever i felt like based on what i found with very little supervision. ideal work environment for me!

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

you can’t see it bc it’s on my head but when I was in second grade my brother threw a palm-sized, plastic hit clips boombox (if you remember those you’re a real 90s kid jfc) and i had to get a couple of stitches. I can still feel it tho. tbh we should’ve known my brother was going to become a pitcher then...

no pressure tags! @b0n-chann @auty-ren @unstoppableforcce @poesdxmerons @cryptkeepersoul @damndamer0n 💕

[romionestinyballoflight]

Here’s one more, because I’m in that kind of mood tonight I guess. Also, a little disclaimer: I chose to completely omit certain questions because I just wasn’t comfortable answering them. 🤷‍♀️

1. Are looks important in a relationship? — There should be a standard, but it shouldn’t be the most important thing.

2. Are relationships ever worth it? — With the right person, they are.

3. Are you a virgin? — Yes.

4. Are you in a relationship? — No.

5. Are you in love? — That would be no.

6. Are you single this year? — Yep.

7. Can you commit to one person? — Absolutely.

8. Describe your crush. — He’s very sweet and caring and genuine. Also really calm and mild mannered and funny.

9. Describe your perfect mate. — Basically what I just described for the previous question.

10. Do you believe in love at first sight? — No, I believe in lust at first sight.

11. Do you ever want to get married? — Yes.

12. Do you forgive betrayal? — Usually, but it takes awhile.

13. Do you get jealous easily? — I guess, but it fades quickly. I don’t like living like that, jealousy is an ugly emotion.

14. Do you have a crush on anyone? — Yep.

15. Do you have any piercings? — I had one in each ear, but I had to let them close up.

16. Do you have any tattoos? — Three so far. I want at least three more.

17. Do you like kissing in public? — I don’t mind it, but it needs to be low key. I’m not into heavy PDA like I used to be.

20. Do you shower every day? — Yes, I can’t stand feeling like I’m not clean.

21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? — I mean, I can hope.

22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? — Maybe, anything’s possible.

23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? — Lasted a little over a year without cheating, so yeah.

24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? — Anything’s possible, but as of right now I would say probably not.

25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? — Not really, I’m trying to work on myself right now.

26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? — No.

27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? — No.

28. Have you ever been cheated on? — Not that I know of.

29. Have you ever cheated on someone? — No, I could never do that.

30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? — The only kind of plastic surgery I have ever considered, are breast implants because I feel like I’m kind of small and I’m kind of self conscious about it, but breast cancer runs in my family and implants interferes with detection.

31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? — Many times.

32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? — Yes, on both sides. I’ve had guys feel things for me that I didn’t reciprocate and then I’ve felt things toward guys that they didn’t reciprocate.

35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? — No.

36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? — Pretty much every time I’ve had a crush.

37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? — YEP.

38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? — Almost every time I’ve crushed on someone.

39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? — Mm hmm.

40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? — Yes.

42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? — Uh, a decent amount of time. I’m very into kissing, so I like to savor it.

43. How long was your longest relationship? — A little over a year.

44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? — One.

45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? — None.

47. How old are you? — 26.

48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? — Something supportive, I wouldn’t try to interfere.

49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? — No boyfriend for me right now.

50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? — I would accept the apology, but I don’t know if I’d be able to accept the presents.

51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? — Maybe my crush, but that’s it.

52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? — I can’t think of anyone right now, but I don’t give up on people easily.

53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? — I’m not really talking to anyone, I just have the crush.

54. Is there someone you will never forget? — A few people.

55. Share a relationship story. — So I was at a Christmas tree lighting festival with the guy I was dating at the time, and we went behind one of the buildings where it was (it took place in downtown) to fool around (this was about ten years ago, and I was more into PDA than I am now), and we were interrupted by a drunk guy stumbling back there to take a piss. Not the most interesting story, but it’s the first one I thought of.

56. State 8 facts about your body. — 1) I really don’t like anything about my physical appearance. That’s really all you need to know, I can’t think of seven more things.

57. Things you want to say to an ex. — Not to sound like Adele, but I really do wish nothing but the best for him.

58. What are five ways to win your heart? — 1) Humor; 2) Thoughtfulness; 3) Genuine and Caring; 4) Patience; 5) Trust.

59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!) — Okay, you asked for it.

60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? — I’ve only had one boyfriend so far, and the age difference was seven months.

61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? — How they treat people around them, I guess.

62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? — Prove I’m the only one they’re thinking about, I guess.

64. What is your definition of cheating? — Anything that you feel you need to hide from your partner when it comes to another person.

67. What is your idea of the perfect date? — Something casual and fun, can’t really think of anything specific right now.

68. What is your sexual orientation? — Straight.

69. What turns you off? — Bad hygiene, cockiness, rudeness.

70. What turns you on? — Humor, generosity, caring.

73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? — Hmm, I really don’t know.

74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? — Height. I prefer if the guy I’m dating is taller than me.

75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? — The first one that came to mind is the guy I’m currently crushing on told his supervisors without hesitation that he was going into work late one day because I had to have an EGD done and I needed someone take me there and back home.

76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? — I’m really into baking for people I care about, and I’m also not shy about telling people how much they mean to me. Sorry about not getting more specific, but I can’t think of anything specific at the moment.

77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? — They’re fine, but to a point.

79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? — Last week, because my mom had to get a new vehicle and she basically got what I’ve been wanting to get for a long time now.

80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? — Last night, I think. I said it to my mom.

81. Who are five people you find attractive? — 1) Dan Radcliffe; 2) Josh Hutcherson; 3) Ryan Reynolds; 4) Leo DiCaprio; 5) Patrick Swayze (RIP).

82. Who is the last person you hugged? — My mom or my brother.

83. Who was your first kiss with? — My first boyfriend, Cody.

84. Why did your last relationship fail? — It had just run its course and it didn’t make sense to continue it. He’s the one who ended it, but I had been thinking about putting an end to it earlier that same day. So it didn’t end badly, and we were on the same page about it (though it may not have seemed like it at the time, because despite knowing in my heart it was done I was still horrifically heartbroken and I don’t handle rejection well).

85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? — Probably not, that’s a little too out of my comfort zone.