#oooffff tough one

[afarcryfrommymain]

Far Cry OC Tournament Round 1A: Diana Baker v Dean Sinclaire

About and voting undercut!

Diana Baker (@shallow-gravy)

About: Emotionally stunted, nihilistic 30-year-old bisexual with a guilt complex. Can’t be trusted to make good decisions. Shouldn’t have ever been allowed to be a cop. Sarcastic, impulsive and aloof, does not like it when people Know Her. Steals drugs from evidence lock-up and deep down feels the only thing she deserves is punishment but doesn’t know how to lay down and die quietly; hence her attraction to John Seed. She’s damn good with a gun though.

Does your OC have anything to share?: “Nobody backs me into a corner. I will fight and I’ll fight fucking dirty.”

Anything else we should know?: Pros: impulsivity means anything can be used as a weapon, but feels most comfortable with a firearm. Scrappy in a fight since she spent part of her youth on the streets / in a juvenile detention center. Comes across as “funny” and “cool” on a superficial level. Cons: not to be trusted as a friend or confidante because of poor decision-making skills; has a difficult time establishing close bonds, is just as likely to sleep with your boyfriend/girlfriend if the opportunity arises as she is to beat the shit out of them for cheating on you. Scrawny frame means people often underestimate her but watch out.

Dean Sinclaire (@derelictheretic)

About: Dean Sinclaire is a Junior Deputy and he's a himbo adjacent golden retriever boy, he just wants to help people and maybe convince himself all hope isn't lost for the world. He never liked cop's and wouldn't go flaunting his occupation but he likes to think he's making a difference and keeping his department in line, especially when he arrests Joseph Seed despite Sheriff Whitehorses discouragement. Yeah maybe he brought on the apocalypse but at least he wasn't being negligent! Outside of work he likes creative arts and doing things with his hands, he picks up new hobbies every other month but consistently enjoys drawing, hiking and being bad at journaling. He's besties with Sharky, Hurk and the Ryes and is constantly partaking in shenanigans with his boys. Dean also used to cage fight so he's no stranger to a showdown with all types of opponents, once he steps into the pit it's game on and he won't stop until he or his opponent goes down! He can take a lot of hits and is good at making his opponent exert themself so he can go full in at the halfway mark and take em down.

Does your OC have anything to share?: "I'm honestly just hoping no one breaks my nose, I'd hate to look like my old man at the end of this. It's been a while since i've done a proper fight so here's hoping all that muscles memory kicks in, if anything i'll tire 'em out for sure."

Anything else we should know?: The boy is very hesitant to even playfight with friends or family so if he goes up against another deputy he might be screwed because he won't wanna hurt them even in a low stakes setting!

[povsteddie]

Do you ever think about new Steddie AUs or AU topics? If you have please share!

Oooffff. This is a tough one for me because I don’t read any Steddie AUs ( Horrible of me! I know! I’m sorry 😭 ).

However, my favorite Steddie AU that I’ve been enjoying watching people create content with on Tiktok is their Scream versions. Although I’m not into it much myself, but the Spider Universe Steddie AUs is amazing as well! Was discussing this with a friend of mine on Tiktok a month or so ago. Don’t think any of these are exactly ‘new’ but they are often ones I think about/enjoy.

And because I don’t know much of the AUs I do however think of random AU situations. Lol

Like Steve and Eddie still new to understanding to their feelings so to explore it more they go out on a date but to the next town over closest to Hawkins in hope that no one they recognize would recognize them. Low and behold, Robin and Nancy run into them as Steve and Eddie sit outside of this adorable small coffee shop enjoy the lovely sunny weather. Steve across from Eddie and Eddie across from Steve at a small table. Eddie’s hand stretched upon the table top with Steve’s hand on top of his. They both dazed staring into each other’s eyes with smiled upon their faces deep into conversation.

Nancy ; “S-Steve?” She questions not sure if they were actually seeing what they were as they approached the table.

Robin ; “Eddie?” Robin chimes in after Nance.

Quickly Steve and Eddie take their hands as they turn their heads with wide eyes looking between Nancy and Robin.

Steve ; “H-Hey Nance! Fancy seeing you here…You as well, Robin...” Steve furrowed his brows looking to Robin then to Nancy suspicious of the two himself.

Eddie just blushing as red as a baboon’s ass hiding his face with his hair. Not sure what to say so he stays silent for now.

{ To Be Continued…Maybe lol }

[seytazen]

I cannot get over this AU idea that me and @hazelhavoc came up with and it lives in my head rent free and I must share it with the world (I got their permission of course!)

Codeburst, Staticflame, Glint, and Hyperdose all belong to @hazelhavoc

We pretty much have this idea that Ironhide grew up in Crystal City and decided to go to school for psychology because he has a big spark for helping people out, but it turns out he is simply terrible at conventional schooling so he failed out before the war. Anyway tough love Ironhide is my current favorite thing to think about. Here’s a little blurb from our roleplay chat about this staring canon characters and hazelhavoc’s OCs!

Ironhide putting on his drill sergeant voice: *stands on a table banging two trays together until everyone is looking at him* Alright! I just woke up from a full 9 hours of recharge and I’ve fueled and showered. Anyone who hasn’t done those things in the last two days needs to go take care of themselves right the fuck now because I’m warning you- I have the spoons and the fucks to give. Codeburst go to bed. Optimus, if you don’t find the will to live right the fuck now and start consuming some energon, I will hog tie you and spoon feed it to you myself. Prowl, you look like you’re on the verge of a logic glitch- drop down and give me a 20 minute break!! Ultra Magnus if no one has told you that you do a lot for this cause and even if you struggle to grasp basic social cues, you are valued and we are thankful for all you do, I’m telling that to you now! Self care! Let’s go people, I can keep going! I wanna see some movement or Imma start singin!

Codeburst: But-- fine. *neglected sulk out of the room*

Optimus: *sighs and grabs full cube with a sarcastic eye roll knowing that he can and will follow through on any threat he has made* Sir, yes sir…

Staticflame: Yeah! Take your energon. I'll help you, Ironhide! Nobody is safe (affectionate)

Optimus: *grumbles and begrudgingly starts refueling*

Staticflame: *smirks and nods, hovering to make sure sure Optimus actually refuels*

Glint: Come on Prowl, if you don't rest your processor I'll go tell Ratchet! If I have to I'll take over your work. I'll get Jazz to help! *Please listen to her, she is very concerned for your health. She gives good cuddles if you need it.*

Prowl: *groans but slides datapad over to Glint* I guess a shower does sound nice…

Glint: **happy cheer and takes it, she'll work extra hard now!**

Hyperdose: Hey, I do that! : D *Extremely supportive to literally everyone unless they do something stupid then get ready for a tender and concerned scolding*

Magnus: *Small blush and grumbles*Thank you, it is nice to hear from different people *reaches for Hyperdose’s hand because they’re an adorable couple*

Hyperdose: No need to thank us darling, you mean so much to everyone and you're important- I should be thanking you! **Let's his hand get surrounded by Magnus', own blue freckles shining from his blush, resting his helm on part of his bicep**

Hide, chanting army tune: 🎵I don’t know but I’ve been told but seein y’all stewin gets real damn old! Sound oooffff! One, two- Sound ooooofff! Three, four- Get yer meal and get some sleep, gotta fight depression ‘for it gets too deep! 🎵

*everyone sighs*

[babieken]

hiii - hope you are good!!!

1) how good was monsta x’s performance at mama !!! and I’m so emotional for them winning an award !!! I made myself more sad by imagining wonho was on stage with them

2) Wonho going… sad times but I know he’ll be the kind super Solider

3) I won tickets to see TVXQ in Japan next year. I feel guilty as I haven’t been a fan for too long (after Changmin’s solo so mid Jan) and I won tickets. Anyway I’m 25 but let’s just say my mum and I’s relationship is very strained (she is emotional abusive towards me) and I don’t know how I am going to tell her and how she is going to let me go. It’s exhausting having to deal with this, I hope your relationship with your family is good!

Sorry if that is too much, ignore or delete this ask. I don’t want to trigger you. I hope you are okay, I enjoy seeing you on my dash. Take care x

hiiiii <333 im sorry this took me ages to answer i literally forgot sleifslef (I usually see I have an ask at a very inconvenient time but back in the days I used to get them more regularly so I'd remember to go back and reply but nowadays they're so rare I totally forgot so sorry ;;;;)

award show season is such a weird time isn't it? like the perfs and red carpet and stuff are so fun but the rest of the time the fandom (mostly on twt ofc) is either fighting over votes or fighting other fandoms bc somebody is always butt hurt about something sidhfsldf but yeah I was pretty emotional and excited to because it's been so long since we've had monek on stage like THAT! it was so epic even tho they had some issues with the sound in the beginning...

please... i'd say don't remind me but it's on my mind all the time too TT TT I really don't know how to handle him leaving... like... i'd say I'm not nearly as active (or into) kpop these days and wonho was one of the main reasons keeping me here so I'm kinda afraid that if monsta x doesn't become more active (especially with minhyuk and kihyun possibly leaving soon) I'll drift away from kpop entirely.

oh my gosh that sounds so exciting!!!! and u absolutely don't need to feel guilty for being a newer fan! that doesn't determine your worth as a fan! you deserve to see them as much as any other TVXQ fans!! (huh I just realized I have no idea what their fandom is called siljflsjf) oooffff family relationships are tough... i can't say I have any advice for u bc I don't have enough knowledge abt ur relationship with ur mom. like I can't tell u 'just do whatever u want, ur old enough' bc I don't know the stakes for u. I just hope you find a way to work it out and go to the concert and take back control over ur life whatever it might mean in your situation.

[tommiematthews]

Sisyphus

10/11/2022

Do you want to know what really gets me going? Like what revs my engine and puts a bit of grunt in the cunt. It’s the idea of a rabbit hole, it’s a following Alice to a place that pushes the edges, just for the fucking hell of it; its Thursday, its been, another, bad, day. I’m drinking a shandy, well not in the conventional sense, I call it a Bourdain bomber, but the cynical just call it a bottle of stella with a double margarita in it. I call it therapeutic grounding, connecting with the ones that feel frustrated like me, a goblet of understanding rather than a drink of desperation… they are both the same. There’s an attitude that comes with a drink like this, it’s not an attitude of being defeated, but an attitude of heroism; world, today, I am going to fuck you right back. It is clear and obvious, that good people stay fucked and the shit ones, that think they aren’t fucked, I'm telling you,  you are. My brother said to me recently that, empathic people laugh, smile and engage with you in a conversation, regardless of what is said, they want to make you feel comfortable. I like that, reminds me of all the good people that may not know how to communicate in a conventional way, but we resort back to imitation, smile when you smile, laugh when you laugh and yawn when you yawn… a fellow human. I am trying to understand what I am saying and it has dawned on me, I am asking for compassion. Its dark sometimes, realising that in my daily thoughts, it always seems to come back to feeling alone, inadequate and not connected. But that’s not true, I feel connected to Monique, my brother and my dog. My dog was walking around the backyard and let out a whine, he ran back inside with a clear limp. He has officially torn his crucial ligament in his knee, unlike humans or the insurance company that we pay on a monthly basis, he does not get the full ride on this one. $5500 for the operation, so we are left counting our stuff, what to sell, how fast we can sell it and if it’s worth going further and further into debt. The Stella Artois beers I just purchased is worth the debt, the many beautiful memories we have made this year, is worth the debt. But I can’t help but feel that we have had a tough run this year, Monique is currently battling covid, I’m battling my sanity and Bigbsy is battling being a 16month year old pup with a major leg injury. Mind you, that’s just this week, it all amounts from the previous 10months of this year, I can’t help but wonder if I am a poison to a person. I seem to bring people down, rather than lift them up. oooffff, I had to sit on that for a bit, that hurts, it’s like I ruin everyone, their financial status, their demeaner and their whole life. Oooof, I’ve got to sit on that again and make another Bourdain bomber, I’m squeezing between my eyes like a stressful character in the movies, I am okay with that, as long as it’s a feel-good film and I am the protagonist with a happy ending. I’m working tonight, but I am not driving, so I feel fine drinking a little more, like I said, no one is winning in this house, I have been sick, Monique has covid and Bigbsy has lost his balls and soon his leg. I just had to stop and comfort my furry son, my rottweiler of protection, the one the I cannot even protect. If I can write one beautiful sentence, that maybe I can envisage a positive image for the coming hours and maybe weeks. What do I know is true? I know the emotions of love that I feel is pure and real, I know that I am trying my best, I know that I haven’t given up and as long as I have Monique and Bigbsy that I won’t. So let me know be confused about interactions that are blurred by jobs, by money and by personal challenges. Let me be a person that can rise above it all, no matter my current situation, let me confess, that I am alive and even then, I have a fighting chance. A chance to simplify, a chance to continue to love and a chance to be better than the person that I may blame sometimes. I just feel like Sisyphus, I’m pushing, I’m pushing that rock, up the hill that impossible hill. Every strain I feel through my knees, every chaotic pessimistic view that I may feel, gets washed away in my tears. I am a fighter and I will continue every day, even on the days that I just wish, this big old rock, would crush me, squeeze me. Squeeze out my effort, squeeze out the emotions, the love and compassion that I feel for so many, that I am too scared to say. i do you know, pretend… that I am dying most days, I send texts of love, for the ones that I feel connected to and that believe it or not, I feel like I am the one going astray. With every piece of love in our relationship with any friend, I can’t help but think it’s another notch that stretches the belt of connection further apart, but stronger in a way. Every confession of love, is a confession of separation, an ode to a goodbye, that I feel is inevitable. I do not want to die, knowing I didn’t say that I loved you, all of you, in so many ways. I feel so cooped up in a room, with emotions as big as the world and a vulnerability that is still yet to be evident. I am, reaching out, too you. to all of you. selling all of my possessions just to live another day, selling all of me, just to survive every day, pushing that boulder up hill, just to survive another day.

[squishymamasboy]

∞

oooffff you got the tough one that always makes me cry

They can't relate to how I've Drawn out in Sharpie where I take the scissors If that's what it took for me to look in the mirror I've done every diet to make me look thinner So why do I still feel so goddamn inferior?

Maddie Zahm - Fat Funny Friend

>>> put a "∞" in my ask box and I'll shuffle my music player and give you my favorite lyric from the song that comes up.

[broadstbroskis]

surprises- pt 8 | mat barzal

oooffff it’s been quite a long journey and thanks for sticking with me through the wait! it’s finally here- the next and last part of surprises! thanks to everyone for reading, thanks for all your lovely feedback and kind words throughout this series, and all the support as i worked through this last part! it’s meant the world to me and i hope you all enjoy this last part!

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7

When you wake up one morning to absolute silence, you get suspicious. No baby cries, no sounds of Mat breathing next to you, nothing.

But when you investigate, you find Mat sprawled out on the couch, holding Maeve against his chest, and they’re both passed out. She’s grown, definitely grown a lot since you brought her home, but his hand still covers most of her body. You reach for your phone, snapping a picture (to add to the many you’ve taken of the two of them over the past month), only to fumble it when you see the instagram notification on the front screen. 

Mat’s tagged you in a post and you sit down on the floor in front of the two of them as you slide to open it. And then, you gasp, immediately reaching to cover your mouth and hide the sound, as you look through the roll of pictures that Mat posted.

One Month with Maeve: You Like: eating, sleeping, anything your mom does You Dislike: tummy time

When you look up, Mat’s watching you, with a hopeful look on his face. “Hi.” He says quietly.

“Hi.” You return, flipping your phone around to him. “I call bullshit.”

He laughs-gently and quietly, so as not to wake Maeve-and then grins. “Oh yeah? On what?”

“That she likes anything I do.” Maeve’s just...so content anytime she’s in Mat’s arms. Anytime he’s just in her proximity. She’s recently started to recognize his voice, turning her head for it anytime she hears it...sometimes even over FaceTime. “You are definitely the favorite.”

Mat kisses the top of Maeve’s head gently; it’s a favorite thing for both of you right now, you’re pretty sure. “Maybe, but we still like anything you do.”

You raise an eyebrow at him. “We?”

“Yeah, both of us.” Mat says, like it’s something he says everyday, totally normal and casual.

Cheeks flushed, you stand up. “I’m going to go make breakfast.”

“We’ll come.” Mat stands, careful not to jostle Maeve too much.

“You don’t have to.” You offer. You know how tired he is all the time now, between Maeve and playoffs. He could use all the rest he can get.

“I want to.” Mat settles himself on one of the chairs by the counter and re-adjusts Maeve. “I feel like I barely get to see you guys right now.”

“Somebody’s gotta pay off that nice, big house.” You chirp, pulling out the eggs to make omelets.

Mat laughs. “Can’t even move into it yet and it’s already costing me money.”

“Don’t think about the price tag until you get paid this summer.”

“Once again. You cannot max out my credit card in the Target Home Section. Even with a bonus this year.”

“I gave you the most perfect human ever and this is how you repay me?’

Mat looks down at Maeve, unable to stop the smile that grows over his face, and in return, you feel one spread across yours as you watch him. “Go crazy.”

-----

Two Months with Maeve: You Like: the new hockey mobile Uncle Tito bought you, when your mom and i talk to you You Dislike: the carseat, more tummy time

When you slip into Maeve’s nursery in the new house (just barely unpacked, but still the most unpacked room in the entire house by far), Mat’s got the same sad look on his face that he’s worn for the last three days, standing in the middle of the room, watching her sleep. You give him a minute, see if he notices your presence, and when he doesn’t acknowledge you, you slide behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, dropping your head between his shoulder blades. “You’re still amazing.”

Mat’s laugh is hollow and you know he’s thinking about how he was held scoreless for the last two games this series, thinking about all the things he could have done differently so that they weren’t eliminated. “You’re biased.”

“Like I’ve ever held back from telling you that you suck before.”

It’s not a smile, but the corner of his lips do turn up. “Fair.”

You smile, hiding the grin in his back. “We’re happy to have you home more.”

“Even though this means we won’t get to put Maeve in the cup?” You can picture his eyebrows raise with the question, even though it’s dark and you’re not even looking at him.

“I mean, she would have looked really cute in it.” You poke his side. “But I’ll get over it. We’ll just have to take cute baby pictures with her somewhere else.”

“You mean, like this new house we just moved into?”

“This new house we just moved into where every room is either filled with boxes or has no furniture?”

You feel Mat hesitate. “Maybe there’s a park nearby.” He says and you laugh. 

“Maybe.” You agree, slipping around to curl into his side, so you can both watch Maeve sleep.

-----

Three Months with Maeve: You Like: that new activity mat, music, afternoon walks You Dislike: pop goes the weasel, noisy birds on the walks

“These came out so good.” Molly enthuses, beaming as she stares at the pictures of Maeve that you and Mat had professionally taken, shortly after your conversation about it, to send out in cards to everyone you know.

“Right?” It had taken a little to decide where you wanted to have the pictures taken, the house still not finished and immediately eliminated. Almost all the parks nearby had been eliminated by your photographer due to lighting and the one that hadn’t, had been nixed by you. You and Mat had both scrunched your nose up at the thought of bringing Maeve to the beach already, as well as a few other suggestions. In the end, though, you can’t imagine anyone will be shocked to see the ice rink in the background of a few of the pictures, and it seemed only fitting. 

As usual, Maeve’s perfectly at ease in Mat’s arms, who’s beaming down at her, in your favorite shot of the afternoon, as you hang onto his arm gently to keep yourself upright, the same wide grin on your own face as you look at the two of them. There are so many other shots from the day- Mat skating while holding Maeve; the two of you laughing while you move easily on the ice; close ups of Maeve sleeping peacefully in Mat’s arms, just happy to be close to him (unless it’s the proximity to the ice- she is definitely his daughter). And then there’s all the candids.

“Some tough choices for the photo wall.” Molly muses.

“Gonna need lots of frames.” You agree, as the back door opens and Tito walks in, bouncing Maeve gently in his arms, closely followed by Mat and Brian. 

“Alright, patio’s done.”

“Perfect!” Molly claps her hands together and you give her a look because she sounds too excited. “Great timing.”

Tito huffs, still bouncing Maeve, who’s smiling away at him and probably going to start giggling at any minute. She’d laughed for the first time last week and it felt like since then, she hadn’t stopped. “We said we’d have it done in time, didn’t we?”

“In time for what?” You press, skeptically.

“Yes, “Molly ignores you completely. “But I honestly didn’t believe you.”

“Rude.” Brian teases. “The lack of faith.”

“Yeah.” Tito adds. “What’d we do to deserve this?”

“What are you three talking about?” Mat huffs, and you feel ten times better already that you’re not the only one left out.

“Oh!” Molly blinks, like it’s only just occurred to her that she hasn’t actually told you what’s going on yet. “Right. You two are going out tonight. We made you a dinner reservation and we’re going to stay here and babysit while you do.”

You hesitate, relieved that when you look over to meet Mat’s eyes, you see the same look. “I don’t know.”

“We’re not going to force you to go.” Brian says, before Molly or Tito can jump in, with what’s certain to be a much less soft comment. “We just thought you could use a couple hours out. Without having to worry.”

It’s not...the worst thought, if you’re honest, and you can see the idea growing on Mat as well. “I mean, we’re probably still going to worry.” He says, even as you can see him start to grin.

“What, now, you don’t trust me with your kid?” Tito says, feigning hurt. “And to think, I almost made godfather.”

“Because YN’s brother almost didn’t show up.” Mat throws back at him.

“Classic Christopher.” You grin at the memory of your brother literally running into the church last month for the baptism only just in time. 

“You two go get moving; we promise to take perfect care of your baby.” Molly says.

“Team Baby.” Tito sticks his free hand, the one not holding Maeve to his chest, into the center of the circle you’ve all formed, and stares at you all expectantly, until each one of you piles a hand on top of his. “Team Baby!” He cheers again, and then he steers Maeve over to her activity mat and lies down on the floor with her.

“Go.” Molly gestures and it doesn’t take much more for you and Mat to turn and start getting dressed because that’s her I mean business face. “Dress nice!” She calls after you. “Suit, tie, dress, heels. The works!”

“Where could they possibly be sending us?” Mat mutters as the two of you climb up the steps toward your room, and you hide your snicker much better than he does.

“Mathew!” Molly calls, warningly.

“First shower.” You call dibs to him, and rush past him for it, laughing at the look on his face.

While Mat showers after you, you fix your hair and makeup, and then step into your closet, already pulling a face at all your dresses before you even look at them. 

You’re starting to feel more like yourself after giving birth, finally, after three months, but you don’t feel completely there. You’re not sure you ever will, that’ll you’ll ever feel that easy and carefree again, or that you’ll ever look the same again, and you’ve talked with Grace and Lauren, and are coming to terms with it. Have come to terms with it, really. The trade-off for Maeve’s smiles made everything worth it.

But.

But you don’t have a single dress that fits the way you like now.

There are four dresses on the floor of your closet and at least five more that you couldn’t even bring yourself to try on before you find a charcoal colored slip dress that’s covered in a pattern of dark sequins. The strappy heels that go along with it are an old comfort; they, at least, still fit you.

Mat’s holding a tie up in the mirror when you come out of the closet, like he’s debating if he actually has to wear it, but the second he sees you through the glass, his eyes go wide and the tie drops from his hand.

“Now those hands aren’t going to earn you that new contract.” You tease, unable to handle the thick silence that’s fallen between you.

“What?” It’s like he didn’t even hear the joke; his eyes are roaming up and down. “Fuck. You want to skip dinner?”

You actually kinda do. You’d seen Mat leaving the old apartment all spring in a suit on his way to the airport or the arena, all the way up until they’d been eliminated, so maybe it was just the context of the evening, but he looked unreal tonight. You nod, but then immediately bite your lip...which just makes Mat groan. “They’re not going to let us just stay here, though.”

Mat grins, reaching for your hand. “Trust me on this.”

“I do.” You smile at him, squeezing gently in return,

And it takes the two of you almost thirty minutes to leave the house after that, despite the heated looks in your bedroom, because neither of you wants to leave Maeve again once you see her, but Molly shoves you out the door with threats about missing your reservation, and once the door’s closed, that’s all it takes for Mat to turn his gaze right back to you.

There is, blessedly, still furniture in his old apartment, still his as he continues to decide whether to sell it or rent it, and you’ve never been so thankful for his unusual moment of indecisiveness as he lies you down into his old bed, pressing kisses onto any spot of skin he can find.

-----

Four Months with Maeve: You Like: playing with your toes, sitting, laughing and babbling You Dislike: when anyone takes a toy from you

Expecting Mat, you’re a little surprised when you turn and see that the form that’s flopped down in the shade beside you and Maeve is actually Tyson. “How’s my best girl?” He coos at her, as entranced with her as anyone else has been since you and Mat had come up to Canada last week to see Mat’s family.

Maeve giggles, babbling some noises back at him, and reaching her hands out for his curls. “Don’t.” You warn him, but he’d learned that lesson already this week, and he intercepts her with his thumb instead, a wide grin on his face. “Sucker.” You tease.

“How can you say no to this face?” He cries and yeah, when she’s laughing and smiling like that, you can see what he means. Especially because it’s Mat’s smile she seems to have inherited, even if it looks like the rest of Maeve’s features might be all you.

“Mmmm, you get used to it.” You tell him anyway, and Tyson grins knowingly, so you close your eyes, relaxing in the sun for a moment, confident that someone is watching your baby and you can get a few minutes of rest.

It doesn’t last long, because shortly after closing your eyes, you feel something heavy and wet plaster itself to you and you open one eye to glare, which is as much as you can be bothered with out by the lake. “Mat!”

He’s already grinning down at you, water from the lake dripping from his face to yours. “You looked a little hot.”

“I was very comfortable.”

Mat lays his head down on your chest. “Well, now I’m very comfortable.”

“You are the most annoying person I’ve ever met.” You say, and you don’t need Tyson to laugh to know that you don’t sound serious at all.

“Liar.” Mat says, and you can feel him grinning against your skin. “You love me.”

You pause for a moment, unintentionally, as you move your hand up to play with his hair, but it’s long enough that you feel the smile start to slip from his face. “Yeah.” You tease. “I guess I do.” 

Mat’s grin returns and he presses the softest kiss to whatever piece of skin he can reach, but before he can say anything else, Maeve starts babbling away. “I know.” Tyson coos at her. “They’re so cute it’s disgusting.”

“Hey!” Mat frowns. “Let go of my baby so I can push you down.”

Tyson laughs. “Well thanks for that get out of jail free card!”

-----

Five Months of Maeve: You Like: hide and seek, bananas, applesauce You Dislike: peas (can’t blame you, kiddo)

“Do we really want to try peas again so soon?” You frown at Mat, holding up one of the other jars of baby food.

He shrugs. “Gonna have to jump back in eventually.”

You pull a face. “Spoken like the man who didn’t get puked on.”

“We get puked on like ten times a day!”

“It was green!”

He laughs. “I’ll do the peas this time.”

You laugh. Sucker. “Deal.”

It’s super gratifying then, to see that Maeve hates the peas this time just as much as she had before. She’s not about Mat’s airplane noises once she realizes what’s on the spoon he’s trying to feed her with and none of his usual tricks are working to try and calm her down once she starts crying. 

But when Mat looks at you for help, you don’t do anything but laugh, continuing to film the entire disastrous event. “Really?” He gives you a look.

“Not so cocky now, huh?” You fire the video off into, like, three different chats- the one with his family, to Team Baby, and the Islanders Moms chat, because he could probably use the ego deflation- and then reach for Maeve, who settles almost instantly against you, her crying quieting as you hold her against your side.

“Sure.” Mat grumbles, dropping the spoon against the high-chair’s table. “All calm now.”

“Oh hush.” You tell him, with a smile, knowing exactly what he’s annoyed about. “You’ll go back to being her favorite in an hour; don’t worry.”

Mat tries to hide his grin by ducking his head to clean the high-chair but you see right through him.

-----

Six Months of Maeve: You Like: bouncing, rolling, wiggling, literally any kind of movement You Dislike: teething (but we dislike you teething too), staying still

“I think she’s going to really start crawling soon.” You remark to Mat, the two of you both seated on the floor, opposite sides of the room, to catch her before she could wriggle into any walls.

She hadn’t quite pushed herself up there yet, but she scooted around pretty well.

“Don’t say that.” Mat groans, reaching out for Maeve and ignoring her cry of protest as he placed her back on the ground, safely away from the wall. She gave him a look, but then went right back to rolling around, rolling onto her back and then over to her stomach again, scooting toward you. “Fuck, imagine when she can walk. Chasing after her.”

“Inability to sit still for sure comes from you.” You try to distract Maeve with a toy, watching as she puts it in her mouth and starts to gnaw on it. Her first tooth had come in the other week, an absolute nightmare, and you were pretty sure another one was following. 

“Can’t prove that.” Mat says, eyes fond as he watches Maeve.

“Wanna bet?” You tease. That’s an easy phone call to make.

“Have I told you how pretty you look today?” Mat beams at you and you burst into laughter because you haven’t showered and you’re covered in baby formula.

“That’s what I thought.” You grin, and then reach out to pull Maeve away from the coffee table.

-----

Seven Months of Maeve: You Like: blocks, knocking down block towers, clapping blocks together, anything blocks You Dislike: noise-cancelling headphones

“These are so cute.” Grace beams, scrolling through the pictures on her phone and simultaneously bouncing a wriggly toddler on her lap. “I’ll send them out as soon as we get upstairs.”

You smile, thanking her already, fixing the earphone covering Maeve’s tiny head. It’s the Islanders’ home opener, Maeve’s first game actually attending, and there’d been a well-documented photo shoot with all the kids prior to the group of you heading down to the glass, to wait for warm ups to start. 

She wasn’t a big fan of the headphones you’d placed on her ears, constantly reaching up to bat them off, but she was looking around, eyes wide as she stared at the crowd around her, even after both teams skated out for warm ups, unable to grasp what exactly was happening.

But she was smiling, beaming the whole time, a grin that only got wider when Mat skated up to the glass in front of you and put his fist up against it. She reaches for it as you bring her closer to the glass, grabbing out for it as he taps it with a grin, and then she babbles a bunch of nonsense when she’s stopped by the glass, retracting her hand immediately.

You and Mat both laugh and he gives one last tap on the glass to you both before skating off to rejoin warm ups.

He absolutely lights it up that night, but the gifs of the the three of you at the glass during warmups cycle through the internet for days.

-----

8 Months of Maeve: You Like: your favorite blankie, Cheerios, cheese You Dislike: i really tried with those peas, kid

You’d do literally anything for some sleep right now, even just a power nap. Mat had been gone on a road trip for a few days now, due back shortly, but Maeve had been so clingy the entire time he was gone, not even wanting to be held by Molly when she’d stopped in to visit, and fussing anytime you’d walked away from her. 

She was playing with a couple of her toys on the floor right now, and it took everything in you to keep your eyes open to watch over her. You contemplated moving her into her bouncer, even as she kept side-eyeing you to make sure you were still close, just in case you accidentally dropped into a nap. 

Suddenly, an arm drops over your shoulders and Mat’s pressing a kiss to your temple. “You look sleepy.”

“I’m exhausted.” You lean against him immediately. “When did you get in?”

“Just now.” He squeezes gently, smiling and waving as Maeve, who’s abandoned her toy the moment she saw him, clapping her hands together and beaming at him, babbling at him happily. “She keeping you up at night?”

“She’s just…” You trail off, not sure how to describe what Maeve is right now. Because on one hand, she’s not normally this clingy, and it’s certainly a change of pace. But it’s not a bad thing to have her so close to you all the time, for her to want to be so close to you- you don’t dislike it at all. “I’m just tired.”

He presses another kiss to your forehead, but before he can say anything, Maeve reaches her arms out for him. “Da!” She’s frowning, probably because Mat’s been ignoring her in favor of you. “Dada!” She reaches out again, and this time Mat’s face lights up, both of yours do, as he sweeps her into his lap.

“Say it again!” Mat prompts, tickling her, which of course doesn’t get her to do anything but giggle.

“Dada.” You try, leaning closer, and she repeats it then, but won’t say it again, for all that Mat tries, struggling out of his arms right after that, to go back to playing.

Mat runs his fingers through his hair, looking absolutely floored, and you still haven’t stopped smiling either. Your baby’s first word! You have to tell everyone! But there’ll be time for that later; Mat’s comfy to lean against right now and he doesn’t look like he wants to go anywhere either, so you press a kiss to his cheek and then lie your head back against his shoulder, content to watch Maeve play with her blocks.

-----

9 Months of Maeve: You Like: walking, giving your mom and I heart attacks while walking You Dislike: sitting still for any length of time (stop laughing at me mom)

“You,” Mat sweeps Maeve off her feet and up into his arms as she toddles past him. “Went from walking to running in like two days! Give your mom and I a rest, kiddo.”

“She gets that from you.” You tell him, tiredly. He’s not wrong though. She’d started pulling herself into standing not long ago, and then shortly after, taken her first steps, and then it felt like the next day, she was off to the races. You spent most of your day chasing her around the house now; she almost never wanted to be picked up anymore.

Even now, she was squirming to get out of Mat’s arms and be back on the ground, already starting to whine about it. Mat obliges, and she takes off- or as well as she can; she hasn’t quite mastered it yet, her feet make that distinct slap noise on the floor that you associate with all babies walking. 

Mat chases and brings her back, but you two quickly have to settle each on one side of the room, eyes watching Maeve and turning her between the two of you. “She needs a friend.” You mutter, steering her back towards Mat, for what seems like the hundredth time in ten minutes.

Mat nods furiously. “Suddenly I understand why people have more than one of these.”

You burst into laughter, loud enough that it stops Maeve for a second. But only a second; she’s right back to toddling over toward you, throwing herself at you, giggling along with you for a moment there. “One of these?” You call Mat out, and he joins you in laughing, as Maeve uses your arm to pull herself back up and starts walking again.

Mat shrugs it off laughingly. “You know what I mean.”

You do. “God, I used to not even imagine being able to have another one of her, but god, if another one meant they could entertain each other; I’d do it in a heartbeat.”

“I’d have five more if it meant we didn’t have to chase her like this.” Mat pulls Maeve back into the room, a small noise of protest coming from her until he puts her back on the floor.

You give him a look. “You can find someone else to have five more with.”

When Mat smiles at you, it’s softer, not his usual bright beam. “Alright.” He says. “We won’t have five more. Two or three more.” You side-eye him, trying to gauge how serious he is, but he must take your silence for agreement, because then he does beam.

-----

10 Months of Maeve: You Like: patty cake, waving, causing chaos You Dislike: bananas, apparently, even though you loved them last month

“Tito!” You gasp excitedly, only just remembering to pick Maeve up and bring her with you, ignoring her fuss in favor of Mat and Tito walking in the door with something much more exciting. “Why didn’t  you tell me you were getting a dog?”

Luckily, she’s easily swayed by the dog, eyeing the wriggling puppy in Tito’s arms. She still doesn’t look like she’s 100% certain about it, but it certainly captures her attention; she stops moving in your arms entirely, blinking at the dog, unmoving.

“Uhhh.” Tito says, in response to you, looking at Mat and then back at you. “Not exactly what happened.”

Mat grins. “So you wanted a dog, right?”

Your jaw drops and the next words are out before you can even think about stopping them. “Shut the fuck up.” And then you immediately wince, because you’ve been on Mat recently about watching his language around Maeve, who’s soaking up words now like an absolute sponge. 

But Mat only laughs, reaching to pull the puppy into his arms, and stepping closer to you and Maeve slowly. “Her name’s Blue, but we can change it.”

“Boo!” Maeve repeats, which really ices the cake on that one, and brings a smile to both of your faces. She’s reaching out for the puppy as Mat steps closer, and you prepare yourself for the worst, but Maeve bursts into happy giggles the second her hand touches the puppy.

Blue sniffs her tiny little hand tentatively, and then licks it happy, and Maeve giggles even harder as she does. “I might cry.” You announce. “This is the greatest day. I thought you’d never cave.”

Tito snickers. “He was worried he’d come home one day and you’d brought a stray home.”

“I considered it.”

“Thought this was better.” Mat agrees. “At least I got to screen for a good one.”

“All dogs are good dogs.” You state firmly. “Let’s put her down and let her explore a little.”

“Come on, Menace.” Mat takes Maeve from your arms, who goes happily, reaching for his hair as she does, but you’ve both caught onto the move by now, so he intercepts her hand with his thumb. “Let’s go follow your new best friend.”

-----

11 Months of Maeve: You Like: baby dolls, baby doll stroller, your fancy new cup, Blue You Dislike: puzzles- you’re not really about toys you sit for anymore

“How soon,” Mat starts one night, when you’re getting ready for bed, both child and dog already asleep in crib and crate from an exhausting evening of playtime. “Is too soon, do you think, to bring Maeve out for a skate?”

You’ve got a mouth full of toothpaste, but you think you still manage to convey what you want with a look. “You’re asking me this question?”

“Good point.” You rinse your mouth out and join Mat in bed. “Maybe we’ll start with mini-sticks and a soft ball.”

You burst into laughter. “You think she’s ready for that?”

“Oh she’s got this walking thing down now.” He brushes that off. “My girl’s an expert.”

You roll your eyes. “Yeah, we knew that was coming.”

Mat grins. “Work on that hand eye coordination now.”

You give him a look, trying to decide how serious he is, and then when deciding that he’s absolutely 100% serious, you press a kiss to his shoulder-the nearest spot of him that you can reach. “Please don’t kill our baby.”

Mat’s already scooting in closer to you, already half asleep because this asshole somehow manages to fall asleep like the second his head hits the pillow basically, and he throws an arm over your waist. “Mmm, kay, promise.”

-----

It was a mistake to sit down, you knew that before you even did it, but you’re exhausted from the day. Between spending your morning getting ready for Maeve’s birthday party, playing hostess throughout the afternoon, and then starting the clean-up process, you honestly think you could fall asleep right here against this wall that you’re leaning against.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you slip it out-it’s another message from Molly, probably just more pictures that she took throughout the afternoon-but it’s the instagram tag from Mat that really catches your attention.

The app opens to a picture of the two of you standing on either side of Maeve and her smash cake, both wearing happy parent smiles, as her hand brings another fist of icing to an already-covered face. There’s a picture with the three of you standing with his parents and sister; another with Maeve, Tito, Molly, and Brian; and the last one, just you and Maeve, sitting on the floor and her trying to play with the party hat Molly had put on your head, right after you’d fixed the bow on her headband.

1 Year of Maeve: Happy Birthday to our favorite girl! It’s been an entire year with you already and your mom and I can’t wait to see what comes in the next one

You can’t help but smile at both the caption and the pictures, unable to settle on one and still scrolling through the post when you feel Mat sit down next to you. “Somebody’s getting sleepy.”

The same dopey, fond smile is definitely still on your face as you turn to look at Mat and Maeve, who’s curled in his arms in a way she only does now when she’s absolutely exhausted. But she’s fighting it for sure, eyes fluttering shut and then popping back open again. “Big day.” You agree with him. “And it was a nice day. But I’m happy it’s just us now.”

“Yeah.” Mat says, and it almost sounds like his thoughts are completely in another place for a second as he shifts around on the floor for a second. “It was a great day.” It was; it truly was, and even though there’s still a mess to be cleaned, you’re perfectly content to just sit here for a while longer with Mat and Maeve. When he settles, you lean your head against his shoulder, reaching your hand out to rest it on Maeve’s tiny little wrist. “Hey.” Mat says gently.

“Hmm?”

“Marry me?”

“What?” You laugh, until he brings a hand out to you and opens his fist to show off a diamond ring, and then suddenly you’re not laughing at all. “Oh my god.”

“I just-I want a million more days like this with you,” Mat smiles. “I want forever like that. Marry me.”

“Yes.” You breathe. “Yes, god yes, of course.”

And immediately, Mat’s kissing you, or well, trying to, because you’re smiling and kind of crying, and he’s still holding Maeve in his arms, so you both pull away pretty quickly. “I love you. God, I know I don’t tell you that enough, but I do. So much. It-”

“I love you too.” You cut him off. “I really can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”

Mat beams at you and you reach your left hand out, biting your lip to avoid giggling as he fumbles a little, one-handedly sliding the ring onto it. But he succeeds, and you admire the ring on your finger, as you lean back against Mat’s shoulder.

The silence that follows is comfortable; the only sound the slight wheeze of Maeve’s breathing. “I think she’s finally out.” Mat says quietly, after a moment. “I’ll take her up?”

“Nah.” You clutch at his arm. “Just-let’s just stay here for a while.”

Mat smiles against the side of your head before he kisses it gently. “Okay.” He kisses it again. “But you know you’re stuck with me forever now, right? Not going anywhere.”

You squeeze his arm. “Not stuck.” Mat beams. “Well, I guess I might feel differently in a month or two.”

“Brat.” Mat says fondly. 

“Yup.” You grin and then throw his own words right back at him. “But you’re stuck with me forever now.”

“Never stuck.” Mat says, and it sounds like such a promise that you can’t help but lean over and try to kiss him again.

[tommysparker]

Fave pic of the spicy nugget?

oooffff that’s tough but probably this one

the hair?? the lighting??? his eyes slightly squinting with the tiniest corner of his lip checked up and his cute lil nugget nose AH 🤌🏽🤌🏽

[x-ladydisdain-x]

If you could give john and sherlock a song that would represent them, what would that be and why?

Oooffff this is a tough one

There’s so many amazing Johnlock songs that work for so many different moments and potential moments. I’m gonna go with Demons by Imagine Dragons for now because that was the first one that came to my head but I will probably remember some others later xD

[twelvemonkeyswere]

tagged by @pretty--thief - you were right, i needed the distraction lol

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I… don’t really have a hairbrush. I think there’s a yellow one somewhere in my room. 

Name a food you never eat:

chayotes. my only natural enemy

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

cold?

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

reading a fanfic update lol

What’s your favourite candy bar?

snickers

Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

I don’t think so

What was the last thing you said out loud?

I said something in the lines of “can you imagine having less brains than Pancho?”

this is Pancho:

What is your favourite ice cream?

chocolate

What was the last thing you had to drink?

peppermint tea

Do you like your wallet?

yeah, sure. it has a TARDIS design, a gift from my sister.

What was the last thing you ate?

breakfast - some fried eggs and garlic bread made with the bread I baked yesterday lol

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

definitely not. I haven’t bought clothes in months. maybe since last year. I’m not big on shopping.

What’s the last sporting event you watched?

does the Drive to Survive show count? because then, that’s what it is lol

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

I like butter or salt and when I’m feeling nostalgic, I like to add a little sugar. like in school.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

ex coworkers group chat. we used to sit on the same table so we kept the chat.

Ever go camping?

yeah, in high school. would love to do it again!

Do you take vitamins?

nah

Do you go to church every Sunday?

not for years now

Do you have a tan?

lol I can’t tan, I just redden

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

oooffff, tough call. I suppose Chinese because I get more leftovers

Do you drink your soda through a straw? 

no

What colour socks do you usually wear?

variations of black and gray, but I’ll take whatever. just not white--too much of a hassle to wash

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

every time I’ve ever driven it’s always been within the speed limit

What terrifies you?

the unpreventable death or pain of my loved ones

Look to your left. What do you see?

the couch, Bjorn the cat, the dining table, the windows, the yard, and the rain

What chore do you hate most?

vacuuming. I HATE that shit.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

“oh hi Bruce”

also, koalas

(sorry)

What’s your favourite soda?

coke, but almost never drink it now. I also enjoy ginger ale and 7 up (I’m very basic lol)

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru?

I don’t have a car so whenever I buy I either go the place or order take out

What’s your favourite number?

I don’t really have one, but when pressed I usually say 28

Who’s the last person you talked to?

my sister, the youngest one

Favourite cut of beef?

I can’t give you names but steak, I guess? I don’t eat red meat

Last song you listened to?

underline the black by metric

Last book you read?

started Terry Pratchett’s Small Gods, finished I Shall Wear Midnight

Favourite day of the week?

saturday

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

do you think I’m mary poppins?

How do you like your coffee?

milk + two sugars

Favourite pair of shoes?

I usually have a pair of converse-like tennis shoes I wear everywhere

Time you normally get up?

around 6 these days

Sunrises or sunsets?

sunsets

How many blankets are on your bed?

right now, just the one. sometimes up to three

Describe your kitchen plates.

white, non-plastic, microwavable. that’s the most important bit, they have to be microwavable.

Describe your kitchen at the moment.

I’m at my parents house--open, as always. breezy. washing half-done (kids’ fault), peaceful at the moment. 

Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink?

beer or one of those green-apple-flavored vodkas

Do you play cards?

nothing fancy, no. just like, kids games.

What colour is your car?

I don’t have a car

Do you know how to change a tire?

in theory. my dad decided that time we got stranded in the mountains in the middle of the night was the best time to explain the process to me. I was holding my phone as a flashlight. there may be gaps in my education.

Your favourite state?

I’ve never been to the United States lol, sorry. but I’d like to visit some of the natural wonders you guys have, like the grand canyon and shiprock and yellowstone. so wherever those are.

Favourite job you’ve had?

I really liked tutoring an old school chum to pass her TOEFL tests (she got her Master’s at Manchester Uni!). Editing essays was nice too.

How did you get your biggest scar?

it’s fading now, but I have a scar in my left elbow. I was climbing the stairs of one of the slides at the local pool and fell. I used my arm to protect my head and the flesh sort of… popped open in a line. didn’t break the bone, though. that was lucky.

And in case you’d like to do it, I’m tagging @bethanyactually @it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined @samirant @forbiddenfantasies1 and @nossbean

[psychovigilantewrites]

I’m doing a survey for my psych class would it be ok for u to answer? 1: what was the toughest moment in ur life and how bad would u rate it 1-10 1 being easy like a pinch 10 being Jason Todd’s joker experience 2: what was the best/happiest moment of your life from 1-10 1 being “yay I woke up” 10 being Jason’s reaction to joker being killed

Oooffff this is interesting!

1. I don't really have a tough "moment" but more like a tough period of time. It would be during the last few months of highschool and spanned to about a year after. I was depressed (though not clinically diagnosed), I felt like I had not future or direction in life, and I was self harming. I would rate it a 6 since 10 is Jason's experience with joker 😂😂

2. The happiest moment in my life was when I landed in Japan for the first time. Japan was (still is) my dream destination, and just touching down at an unfamiliar airport, and listening to announcements and people speaking in Japanese, even seeing the first ever japanese advertisement that featured this model I follow, it made me so fucking happy and I can never forget that feeling. I would rate that a 9, because that's how happy I was during my one month stay!

[napalmmanexe]

Fits of Random 9.5

Narrator: Another day. Another cold wintery day. Another cold, wintery, lousy, gloomy, overcast, yucky, poopy....

Matt: ( In his room, lying on his bed with his laptop ) We get it! >3 Today's weather stinks! ( Playing a game ) I gotta do something else....( Starts watching an abridged anime, stops part way ) I don't wanna do that either...( Opens his BIOS coding program ).....I can't concentrate. Why can't I do something productive?? XC ( Flailing his arms )

Rahbie: ( Walks into Matt's room ) A lot of people have been restless. ^_^; The weather keeps everyone indoors, so people are getting bored easily.

Matt: I don't feel like doing....Anything. 8C Nothing at all.

Rahbie: Well, there's one thing...:3 ( Giving him a sly grin, posing lewdly )

Matt: Its not that I don't appreciate the offer, but I'm not doing that kind of content anymore.

Rahbie: But our love making is always so good. <83

Matt: It is, but not every written or drawn piece that tells a story has to have sex in it in order to be good. I want to focus on work that draws people in for adventure, drama, and humor.

Rahbie: Oh good for you master. ^_^ ( Sitting with him ) You think people will go for it?

Matt: I'm not feeding the internet its junk food anymore. I make good quality work as best as I can. |3

Rahbie: Funny, the way you talk; it sounds as if you expect someone to hear it. ^-^

Matt: Very very true. ^-^

Matt and Rahbie: ( Both of them staring at whoever reads this ) PG only folks. :3

( The scene changes to the title screen with Neko fairies swarming all over it )

Neko Fairies: Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaa! 83c ( Covering the opening scene with confetti and silly faces drawn  with crayon )

( A static scene change shows Shift training in the household dojo, practicing his Metamorph skill set )

Shift: Shape Shift!! ( Trying to think of something )

Azure: ( Behind Shift, whispering ) A Life Sized Glow in Dark Teddy Bear! :3

Shift: A Life Sized Glow In the Dark Teddy Bear...wut? |3 ( Changes into the exact thing ) Whhhhuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaat? <83 OOoffff!!!

Azure: ( Tackle hugs Shift at full speed ) Nyeeeoooooooooooooh! X3c

Shift: Oh bother....<:3 ( Getting adorably huggled by Azure )

( Scene changes to....Scene changes to...?? )

Narrator: Where's the next skit?

Matt: Next skit? /3

Rahbie: Master don't we have something for the next scene? <:3

Matt: ( Back to being dispondent and playing a video game ) Don't ask me, I don't know. |3

Napalm: ( Still in the form of a life sized glow in the dark teddy bear ) Buddy, what happened to that schedule from the previous episode?

Azure: ( Huggling Napalm, clinging to his back. Nuzzling and purring ) Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. X3c

Matt: Schedule? ( Trying to think )

Rahbie: Master you promised...( Showing him video footage of the last Fits of Random )

Matt: Oh yeah...that....( Looking at them with a blank stare ) ....( Goes back to his game )

Rahbie: Alright you've left us little choice, master. ( Sounding stern )

Matt: Do any of you work my job?

Napalm and Rahbie: ...No? O_o

Matt: Good, matter settled. That job has done nothing but bring grief, stress, and it eats a person's soul from the inside. If I could I'd flatten the place....

Napalm: Robot Masters already tried that.

Matt: What? ( Blinking, somewhat surprised )

Azure: Nyan, because its fourth wall related all that happened was... :3

( The sound of humorous piano key banging signaled a cutaway scene with Bass and the other Robot Masters standing on a ship on the east coast of the States )

GutsMan: Throw a Rock at it!! ( Stomps his foot and gets a random boulder. Tossing it at the shore )

Boulder: ( Reaches the shore line and vanishes with a poof-fart effect ) Frrtt!~

GutsMan: Well....shucks!

( The scene ends with the piano banging effect played in reverse )

Napalm: What we're getting at is your job is turning into a bad excuse and the video games are turning into a distraction.

Matt: And what're you all gonna do? F3 Hijack the episode? ( Turns his head. Within seconds gets jumped on ) Gah! What the heck?? D:

Mayreen: ( In a tight fitting police girl outfit ) Keep your arms and legs spread out where I can see them. Anything you say will be used against you by the cord of this game controller. >3

Matt: Kitten this is unecessarriiiiiiiiie where are we going? <83 ( Being carried off, hands held together by zip ties. Flung over Mayreen's shoulder )

Mayreen: To Adventure! >83

Azure: And a half decent plot. :3 Cue the goofy cutaway effects!

( The scene changes to the group standing at the entrence of the Alpha ruins where all the aggressive monsters and things spawned from )

Matt: A treasure dig against the island's baddies?

Napalm: Nope, we're inspecting a thing. ( Now back to normal ) Someone turned something loose and its been stealing trinkets from the citizens.

Azure: And we know who it is. :3

Matt: Not much of an inspection if we already know who the perp is. |3

Mayreen: We needed your mental powers to get answers from the perps. Trust me you'll know why when you see them. ^-^

Matt: ( Watches as Napalm pulls out Saya and Sheath. The two top agents from Ouma. Both of them hand cuffed ) Yep I see why you need me. O_o

Sheath: Is bright boy desu. :3

Saya: You want to know what we turned loose? ^-^ ( Calmly smiling ) We'll never tell.

Sheath: The lips of bunny desu are of sealed and shut. :3

Matt: Ya don't say? XD ( Placing a hand on each of their heads, starts getting into their memories )

( All Matt saw in Saya's head was a blank fog. Sheath's was a jumble of awful American and Japanese words, with every other  second a desu went off with a chibi form of Sheath running around carefree and acting adorable and hilarious. )

Matt: That....didn't get us far guys and gals. O_o

Rahbie: But that always works. D:

Matt: Saya is so deeply Zenned I can't get through. Sheath is a coloring book of botched American and Japanese words. o_o

Saya: Hmmmhmhmhm. ^-^ You will have to get us to talk another way. ;3

Sheath: Hmmhmmhmhmhmm desu desu. ;3

Matt:....I said I'm keeping it PG. >3 And I'm sticking by it.

Saya: Well I...( Looks behind her ) Excuse me but where are my weapons? ^-^

Sheath: Sheath's banger and slicer desu is also of not being the here. :3

Napalm: ( Looks where he put their gear ) I could have sworn I put them right here. O_o ( Sees the shadow of something big, with feathers, and had Saya and Sheath's weapons in its beak )

Mayreen: Its....a huge crow....o_o

Saya: Oh....Oh my thats our little project we turned loose. ^-^

Matt: You freed a giant crow to do what with it? F3

Sheath: Fun and giggles. :3 And is not a corn field crow of crowing.

???: ( Lets out a terrible scream ) SkEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiich!!!

Mayreen and Azure: Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa our ears!!! <XC

Napalm: What? I can't hear! >3 ( Both ears bleeding )

Matt: That....is ....not a crow. O_O

Saya: Its a Shrieker. ^-^

Rahbie: The same Shrieker that  terrorizes towns and steals shiny things and is super dangerous to take on? O_o

Sheath: ( Nodding her head yes, making a rattling noise ) Yup yup yup yup. ^w^

Saya: You see, there is a place hidden deep. I'd say...at least 20 levels down. Its a gateway to madness and the creepiest creatures you ever saw. I even had to leave because the madness was just a bit too much. ^-^

Sheath: Sheath was hearing bad voices desu. <:3

Matt: Well....who's up for a tough boss fight? >3

Napalm, Rahbie, Mayreen, and Azure: You bet! >83

Saya: We can tell you where its nesting....if you turn us loose. ^-^

Napalm: On a tree near the Tree of Life in Mon Bush? XD

Saya:.....Why yes. ^-^ But there's still one thing we know and we won't tell you unless you let us go.

Matt: Hits like a truck, cries do damage to people's sanity, doesn't stay long once aggravated? XD

Saya: Now you're just taking the fun out of it. <:3 ( Pouting )

Sheath: Oh but the other thing....:3

Saya: Sheath, shush. ^-^

Matt: What other thing? O_o ( Looking at Sheath )

Sheath: Desu thing. Saya do remembering? :3

Saya: Sheath I'm going to punish you if you bring it up again. ^-^

Sheath: No! <83 Desu Saya said to be having Desu Sheath remind desu!

Mayreen: Yes Sheath, what is the thing? ^-^

Sheath: No telling non desu's! >3 Oh shoot! <83 Sheath wasn't being whispery much.

Saya: I'm going really teach you a lesson later, Sheath.....

Sheath: But hurts and ouchies....<:3

Saya: Say one more word and your behind will be so red it will glow in the dark. Now, shut it. ^-^

Rahbie: Now thats just mean. |3

Saya: You don't run my rail road darling. ^-^

Napalm: I got an idea....how about we string Saya up with a bunch of trinkets and when the Shrieker comes by it'll pick her apart?

Saya:....I wouldn't. ^-^

Matt: No no we can punish them both later for their antics. We have a Shrieker to hunt and some kind of thing to deal with....right Sheath? :3

Sheath:...No punish....be nice desu? <:3

Narrator: Back at the Boarding House where our heroes threw on their gear and happily skipped tralala to the Shrieker's nest!~

Shift: Dude are you on something? |3

Narrator: Who me? Noooooo of course not! ( Whispering to someone ) Behind my booth, tonight. I'm low and I....

Shift: ( Glaring at the Narrator ) >3

Narrator: Crap they can hear me!! ( Footsteps heard running out of the booth and down a bunch of stairs )

Shift: I'll deal with him later. ( Flying along on his energy disc while Rahbie provided a magic carpet for Matt, Mayreen, Saya, and Sheath )

Saya: Darlings, why are we going along?

Mayreen: You turned that creepy thing loose, you're helping us take it out.

Sheath: Desu bird likes dodge. :3

Rahbie: ....Honey you need to work on your English. That made no sense. <_<

Sheath: Dodgy dodgy desu. :3 Sheath telling the important stuff! <:3

Matt: She means its very agile so landing a hit on it might prove challenging. ( Looks ahead ) There's the nest and the bird is home. Everyone ready?

Saya: ( She and Sheath having some spare weapons from the house armory ) Not my favorite gear but it will do. ^-^

Mayreen: ( Also has her merc armor on ) I'm ready Matty. ^w^

Rahbie: I'll provide support if anything goes wrong. ^-^

Myffle: ( On Shift's right shoulder ) And I'll do my usual cute neko fairy stuff! :3c

Shift: Good girl ! :D Lets go! >3

French Narrator: Zey all landed on a large branch nearest zee nest.

Sheath: Desu Narrator of Sponges and Bobs? /:3

French Narrator: First one got busted for zee drugs. I am how you say, one out of many.

Saya: That booth must be busy. ^-^

Shrieker: Skeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! ( Landing in front of the nest )

Rahbie: That's way too many eyes for a bird! <8C

Matt: There's all the trinkets in the nest! ( Pointing )

Mayreen: And a lot of dead bodies too. <:3

Shift: Hit it and hit it hard! >3 ( Summons his lazer light bo staff, running at top speed, swinging and missing ) Someone follow up! >3

Mayreen: I got it! >3 ( Throwing six flash bangs from under her trench coat )

Shrieker: SKiIIIiiiiieeeeee??!! ( Wings flailing and flapping )

Matt: ( Using pure BIOS energy to grab and strike at the bird ) Man this thing has got some muscle on it! >3

Shift, Saya, Sheath: ( All of them slashing and stabbing it ) Hyaaaaaaaaah! >3

Mayreen: ( Shooting at the bird's head when she got a clean shot, using her sniper rifle ) Grrrrrr, this isn't doing enough damage! >3

Rahbie: Watch out!! D: ( Watching the Shrieker puff up )

Shrieker: Skaaaaaaaaaaw skaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw skaaaaaaaaaaw!!

Matt, Shift, Mayreen, Rahbie, Saya, Sheath, Myffle: ( All of them holding their ears in pain ) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgghh!! XC

Shrieker: ( Lifting off and performs a dive at the group, its super sharp beak gleaming as it rocketed at them )

Shift: S-shape Shift....!! ( Trying to concentrate )

Azure: ( Suddenly shows up ) Hai sorry got distracted by candy! <:3 Nyan thats a big bird. And its headed for my Nappy?! >3 ( Using her Speed Skill Set to get near the shrieker and grabbing its beak with her claws ) You're going THIS way! >83 ( Using leverage and speed to force the Shrieker off its path and into a thick branch of the tree )

Shift: Azure, where have you been?? D:

Myffle: I smell candy. :3

Azure: Sorry hope I didn't miss too much. <:3c

Shift: Honey your timing is perfect. :D Now...lets hit this sucker with something....splodey. >:)

Mayreen: I second that idea! >:3 ( Tossing some C4 on the Shrieker's bum )

Shift: Shape Shift Crash Man! ( Changes to the robot master Crash Man, fires numerous Crash Bombs, latching onto the birds bum )

Saya and Sheath: ( Quickly tying grenades to the monster's feathers ) Count us in. :D

Matt: ( Pulls out his Modded 3DS, summons a rocket launcher ) Everyone clear!

French Narrator: Meanwhile.~

Nappa: ( At the boarding house, has a camera recording Vegeta stacking a sizable card castle ) Aaaaaalmost done, Vegeta.

Vegeta: Shush. Even the smallest noises will undo this priceless piece of work...ever so....carefully...quietly... ( Places the last card ) Finally. Hah, who said I couldn't do something artsie and peaceful!

SFX: Fragaboomff!

Nappa: Did something explode, Vegeta? ( Looks from behind the camera ) Vegetaaaaaa?

Vegeta: ( Under a huge mound of scattered cards ) Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff....Fudge Pops!!! Gah when did we go PG??

French Narrator: Back to ze tree.~

Matt: ( He and the others covered in Shrieker feathers ) Didn't think that would happen....O_o

Mayreen: Ptooey! >3p ( Spitting out some feathers ) Bleh, no idea where that thing's been. >XC

Saya and Sheath: ( Yanking their weapons out of the Shrieker's nest ) There we go. ^-^

Rahbie: ( Using her magic to clean everyone off ) Alright, everyone's safe and uninjured?

Saya: Hmmmm I suppose there is one little, tiny detail I should share with since you allowed Sheath and myself to tag along this far. ^-^

Shift:....What did you do? F3

Sheath: Crazydoor of mad stuff. <:3 Desu me and Saya desu might have left open for things to very many much walk out?

Matt: You loosed a bunch of more of that unholy nonsense into the Alpha Ruins?? >3

Saya: In so many words, yes. ^-^

Mayreen and Azure: Why...? <:3

Saya:...Hmmmm call it curiosity. ^-^

Sheath: Definitely not cursed blood-orb thingy for Ouma. :3 Never that.

Matt: ....Saya...Sheath....come here. |3

Saya: I know that tone and no we will not. ^-^

Matt: Come here. |3 ( Walking toward them )

Sheath: Scary face. <:3

Mayreen: Oh dear. <:3

Rahbie: He's gonna give them an earful. <:3

French Narrator: 15 minutes later.~

Matt: Now you're gonna come with us, and fix this mess. Is that understood? >3

Saya: ( Rubbing her behind ) Ow...Oh dear...Mm yes, understood. ^-^;

Sheath: Owie....<:'3 ( Crying a little ) Okay will help desu.

Shift: Alright, lets bust up this nest and return the trinkets.

French Narrator: Later, back at ze boarding house.

???: I'm not crazy, you're crazy!! D8

Matt: ( Standing at the front porch of the boarding house ) The heck is this? <:3

Myffle: ( Pops up in the front of the scene ) More to come in the next episode! :3 Stuff happens, hilarity will ensue! Stay tuned!