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shinidamachu · 3 years

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Okay, I am a huge InuKag fan. But, a lot of the time when I see discourse, fans are talking about all of the things Kagome did for Inuyasha. She gave him three families (Souta, Mama, and Grandpa, the Inu gang, and later Moroha). She taught him how to love and accept himself. And of course, Inuyasha's famous speech in the jewel says it all. But, what did Inuyasha give to or teach Kagome? He protected her, but what else? As I said, InuKag is my OTP, but it seems to one-sided.

I've kind of talked about this topic before, but thank you very, very much for the opportunity to expand on it. Before I do, though, I’d like to make some considerations.

First, it’s totally true that, thanks to Kagome, Inuyasha found a family in the Higurashis. But it’s also true that if it wasn’t for Inuyasha’s sheer existence, chances are Kagome wouldn’t have even met Shippo, Miroku or Sango.

In the same way, bringing up Moroha is funny because, you know, Kagome couldn’t possibly have conceived a child on her own. It takes two for that. And considering that she was more inclined to motherhood than Inuyasha was to parenthood, it’s safe to assume she would be the one longing to have their own kids while Inuyasha had to gradually warm up to the idea of giving her children.

In that sense, I don’t think it’s fair to erase Inuyasha’s role in the creation of those bonds because the Inugang and Moroha were two families that Kagome gave to Inuyasha as much as they were two families Inuyasha gave to Kagome. And this sounds like the opposite of “one sided” to me.

Second, when people say things like “he protects her, but what else,” it feels like awfully downplaying his devotion and the remarkable narrative weight of his actions. You see, from a superficial analysis it might not seem like it because he often reckless and impulsive, but Inuyasha actually values his life.

From a very young age it was kill or be killed, so he developed a strong survival instinct. Life never treated him kindly, but this is precisely why he must have decided to keep on living: out of spite. Hell, one of the his most defining characteristics was having a defense mechanism that kicked in whenever he was on the verge of certain death to keep him alive. He wanted to be alive.

So when he voluntary prioritizes Kagome’s safety over his own life, that’s a huge deal. She once questioned, very early on the story, if he would protect her, forever and ever, to which he replied: “is your brain broken or something,” before backtracking and telling Kagome to shut up and ljust et him protect her.

But she never asked that this protection would come with the cost of his life. Kikyo was the one to make a claim on it after her resurrection and the only reason he accepted it was because he felt responsible for her death, but he very clearly didn’t want to be dragged to hell.

Other than that, Inuyasha actually held his life in high regards, even pursuing ways to get more power and becoming untouchable, so to say. When it came to Kagome, though, it was a different story:

Notice that he willingly and without being asked, because Kagome would never do so, added the “with my life” part. Also notice that he was already doing precisely that long before he worded it out, by almost dying countless times (even going to the extreme of throwing himself off a cliff in his human form) to keep her safe even after he had promised his life to Kikyo. All that being said and considering how much he cares about honor, I think it’s positively insane that the fandom just decided to brush this off as if it was nothing.

Now, a huge part as to why some people might think Inuyasha gained more from the relationship than Kagome was because, indeed, the things she did for him carried more of an emotional impact and, therefore, had more focus on the story. This doesn’t mean the things he did for her were non-existent or didn’t cause an impact of her on their own.

The thing is: Inuyasha and Kagome were different characters, from different backgrounds, with different lessons they needed to learn in order to to fulfill their arc. A balanced relationship doesn’t necessarily mean supporting each other in the exact same way, it means supporting each other in the way your partner needs to be supported, so you can complement each other and meet half way.

Kagome needed physical protection so that’s what Inuyasha provided for her. Inuyasha needed emotional support, so that’s what Kagome provided for him. They are not the same thing, but the feeling behind them is completely mutual.

The thing about Kagome is that she starts her journey as this relatively immature, naive and spoiled modern girl. She takes her privilegies for granted and shows little respect for anything related to the shrine.

But everything changed when she met Inuyasha. She found herself alone in a foreing world, with no family or frieds to run to and all of the modern stuff she could usually rely on gone. Inuyasha immediately took her out of her comfort zone, in every sense of the expression.

Kagome was a sweet and popular girl, whose biggest worry in life was getting good grades at school. She wasn’t used to people not liking her and getting looking down on because of her lack of physical strength, experience and thoughness.

She isn’t used to not getting her way. Inuyasha constantly challenged her in this aspect and more. He called her out on her bullshit as much as she called him on his. He pulled her buttons down, made her want to show him she was much more he gave her credit for and consequently, proof to him and to herself she could be helpful. And strong. And powerful.

In a crooked way, he actually encouraged her to be a better version of herself. He helped to tough her up, to test her limits, to be confident. He was the one who pushed her to shoot an arrow for the very first time. He was the one to show her the world has other colors than black and white or pink sky rose. She learned by his side that there is more to life than her bedroom, that it’s not always gonna be okay or beautiful or fair, but you gotta to keep going regardless.

She comes to appreciate how much she has more.

She comes to understand and respect things she once was skeptical and indifferent about.

No, Inuyasha doesn’t provide Kagome with the exact same amount of emotional support that she does for him, but there are reasons for that. First, the support he needed was on a way larger scale because he grew up without any. Second, her emotional needs mostly revolved around his relationship with Kikyo, putting him as the very source or her sadness in a way that trying to comfort her often does more bad than good, so he tries to do the next best thing, which is letting her go. Kagome is the one who decides to stay even still.

Third, while Inuyasha’s journey is about learning how to make friends and rely on people, the same wouldn’t have made sense for Kagome. She already has friends, she already trusts people. For her entire life, she could count on the very present support system. What she needed to learn was how to trust herself, how to make and sort things out on her own for once, how to be mature and independent. Her story is about coming of age and her meeting Inuyasha, the feelings he woke on her were the catalysis.

And yet, we would be lying if we said he didn’t have his moments:

Inuyasha might not have taught her how to make friends, since it's something she already knows, but he taught her even better: how to make meaningful friendships. The modern girls she interacted with had their hearts on the right place, but we can’t deny that the friendship was mostly superficial. Sure, they were fun to study and hang out on Wacdnalds but in the end of the day it was Sando, Miroku, Shippo and Inuyasha who always got her back and who she could talk about real stuff with.

That being said, it’s not too far off to assume Inuyasha also gave Kagome a purpose. She found her calling as a priestess and healer by getting better at archery to find alongside him, taking care of his injuries and learning how to make medicine that would help him heal.

The more she stays by his side, the more she can improve her abilities and feel acomplised in a way she would probably never been able to feel and the more she realizes that it’s not only for him that she does it, but for herself. Because she loves helping people. She loves feeling useful.

Kagome: this is the herb that Kaede told me it was the best antidote for all kinds of poison. I’ll brew some up for you later. And this herb makes a good antiseptic. It really works but boy does it sting! Inuyasha: you learned a lot. Kagome: I guess. Inuyasha: Kagome, you’ve grown stronger. Kagome: well, you’ve finally noticed! How can I not get stronger running from demons day after day? I’ve learned a lot more than your average teenager if I do say so myself. And my archery is not too shabby either.

He gave her an adventure, a Fairy Tale, danger, passion, excitment. He gave her his heart, his armor in the shape of the borrowed Fire Rat Robe, his sword in the shape of ultimate protection and devotion. He gave her a consuming, epic love that transcends time. And when he was free from any other obligations, he gave himself to her body and soul.

IN CONCLUSION: the dynamic of their relationship was perfectly balanced because his arc was about finding love, friendship and learning how to rely on people while her arc was about coming of age and learning how to sort things out for herself.

#Kagome #Kagome Higurashi #Inuyasha #Inukag #Sidmailing

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menalez · 3 years

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I wanted to ask you because a lot of radblr is so unsympathetic towards female kinksters but I think you'll be more fair. Theres a post going around that's a tiktok of a girl talking about the "dresscode" in her relationship. Everyone was talking about how its abusive, which it is, but 1 person said something like "you all know this is her kink, right?" Which doesnt mean it isnt abusive, but it made me pause for a second because I was seeing no commentary that took into consideration that this isnt being forced on her. Or at least we have no evidence that it's against her will. From what we are being shown, this is literally her kink. It's something she participates because it gets her off and she is okay with prioritizing getting off above a healthy dynamic. Why is there no nuance in discussions about kink on radblr? It's either "these women are perverted kinksters and scum" or "this is rape/non conseual/she is 100% a victim and needs to be saved from her dom". But the kinksters I've known literally pursue bdsm relationships because it gets them off. They arent all groomed into it. Do you think it's fair to approach some of these relationships as toxic on both ends? Not just the dom's fault? Or not just the man's fault? Especially since some women can be dommes? How come we can view male subs as being driven by his sex drive and fetish but we never talk about female subs that way? Its always "self harm" when women are subs but a fetish or sexual perversion when men are subs. Is it accurate and realistic to apply that to every single bdsm partner?

the thing is tho, just bc something is sexually arousing doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its roots in other issues. why is this woman associating being deeply controlled and abusive behaviour with arousal? a lot of women who are/were subs associate the two as a result of facing abuse that they felt was out of their control, and cope with said abuse they dealt with by sexualising similar events and giving themselves the illusion of control over their trauma. that was at least the case for me, and i know it was the case for many women who were involved in kink. just because something Gets Someone Off doesn’t mean they weren’t groomed into it either, nor does it mean it isn’t rooted in trauma. there are women out there who literally started to sexualise rape as a result of being raped, or women who sexualise massive age gap relationships as a result of child negligence. this stuff doesn’t just come out of thin air and we don’t just magically start liking shit that is toxic & harmful out of nowhere, it doesn’t just arouse us for no reason out of nowhere, there is a root to it and a cause for it.

i’m sure there are male subs who are the same as the women i have mentioned above, but a lot of the ones i’ve come across sexualise being controlled and dominated because they get off on the idea of some alternate universe where men are treated the way women are. it just seems to be rooted in completely diff things for most men than it is for women. there are exceptions ofc but, im just commenting on the trend ive noticed.

also no, i don’t think the person getting off on being controlled and abused is equally toxic as the person getting off on abusing.

#Anonymous

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justasparkwritings · 3 years

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Illicit Affairs: Beautiful Rooms Pt. 4

Previous: Beautiful Rooms Pt. 3

Pairings: Namjoon & Reader (Barely), Jungkook & Reader (diff reader)

Genre: Angst, Slice of Life

Ratings: PG15

Word Count: 2.3K

Warnings: Therapy and Swearing, Discussion of past Trauma

Summary: Under the guidance of Dr. Aarons, OT7 spends a few days rebuilding their slowly cracking bond.

Listen: illicit affairs by Taylor Swift

Shout out to @the-rambling-maiden for reminding me about JK’s fear of sleeping alone and for always reading & commenting on everything!!!

Penultimate Chapter

Setting up the small conference room, Dr. Aarons looks around and wonders if this is a mistake. Not the seven men, well, yes the seven men, but the space. More corporate than cozy, it’s lack of plush furniture and soft textiles is evident. The snacks on the table only adding to the sense that this space was never meant for actual group therapy, because it isn’t, but it offers the least access points, less visibility than any other room in the complex, and has its own bathroom. Perfect for secrecy. Perfect for hiding Bangtan.

She places name cards at various points around the table, her careful consideration for personality types and friendship bonds allowing her to place them strategically.

Jimin, Namjoon, Hoseok, Jungkook, Seokjin, Taehyung, Yoongi.

She had worked it over many times, moving and shifting, but ultimately decided to place

Jungkook in the center, the person to his left and right someone who gives him great comfort and security, similarly for Namjoon. Though Jungkook’s mental safety was more important in the set up than Joon’s.

The raucous laughter of seven men alerts her to their arrival, and stepping back from the door, she’s greeted by Jungkook’s enlarged orbs, smiling brightly at her.

“Good morning,” He says, bowing.

“Good morning Jungkook,” She replies. “Welcome, gentleman,”

The men shuffle through, taking stock of the room before finding their seats.

“Thank you all for being here, it takes a lot of courage and respect for one another to want to go through this process together. We don’t have a lot of time, so let’s dive in. Do you have any questions for me before we start?” Dr. Aarons greets them.

“Has this been, successful?” Yoongi asks.

“Can you be more specific?”

“Working with Namjoon and Jungkook, has it been productive?” Yoongi clarifies.

“Namjoon, Jungkook,” She says, turning the question back to them.

“It’s been really great, for me personally and I think for all of us,” Jungkook answers. “I’ve learned a lot, and unlearned a lot too,”

“Will things be different, when we’re back in Seoul?” Taehyung inquires.

“Different how?” Dr. Aarons questions.

“Will we still be, Bangtan?”

“That’s up for the seven of you to decide. You’ve had a major moment, a huge shift in your group, dynamics haven’t changed, but perhaps your purpose or your interactions with each other have. Why don’t we get to work, and we’ll see where we’re at?” Dr. Aarons opens her notebook, a new marble covered, hard bound book. She’s filled the front half with notes and observations, and as the week with the men progresses, she’ll continue to add more.

A little after lunch on their second day, Dr. Aarons stares at the men, taking in their posture, the way their eyes glance sideways, the jokes lingering on their lips, the words they are waiting to say remaining tight within them.

“I wanted to ask you all if you have a memory of your first days together, specifically your thoughts and impressions of Jungkook? Namjoon, can you share what you told me?”

“Sure. I told Dr. Aarons and Jungkook my first impressions of JK. How innocent he was, how unsure and unsteady, that he took pieces of our personalities to build his before finally breaking the mold. I remember how curious he was, how willing to learn, how pliable, but also very scared. It took a lot for him to stay,” Namjoon does his cursory glance at all six men while he speaks, years of interviews making this gesture as easy as walking a press line.

Dr. Aarons writes down the members reactions before speaking. “Thank you, Namjoon. Who would like to start?”

“Do you remember when Jungkook first moved to the dorms?” Yoongi starts, eyes moving from Dr. Aarons to the other men.

“What specifically?” Hoseok asks.

“He couldn’t sleep alone, you remember?” Yoongi replies.

“We shouldn’t have given him the single room,” Seokjin says.

“He earned it, fair and square,” Namjoon says.

“He was so scared that first year, of the dark, of being alone, of everything,” Yoongi reminds them.

“I wasn’t that scared!” Jungkook counters softly, his hyungs glancing at him.

“Oh, don’t lie,” Seokjin chuckles.

“You remember our compromise?” Namjoon asks.

The seven nod but it’s Taehyung who speaks first. “We promised to leave our doors open a crack, so that when he was scared or couldn’t sleep, he could crawl into bed with us.”

“He abused that privilege,” Yoongi laughs.

“It was almost every night, Dr. A,” Namjoon says. “He almost had a rotation,”

“He had the biggest room, a single to himself, but he spent months sleeping in our beds,” Hoseok reminisces on those nights, nights when he’d be nearly asleep only to have a quiet Jungkook crawling under his blanket to join him.

“He eventually got over it,” Seokjin reminds them.

“He was so little, so small,” Yoongi says. “He wasn’t taller than me, yet.”

“Physically and emotionally,” Hoseok responds. “He was just a kid, barely a teenager.”

“It was so hard, watching him leave his family for us. We weren’t anything yet, and here he was, believing we would become something,” Yoongi speaks.

“He’s only two years younger, but he just reminded me of my little brother,” Taehyung says. “So delicate,”

“Most of you are younger siblings, correct?” Dr. Aarons asks.

Four of the men nod.

“It makes sense why you all felt responsible for Jungkook, even as younger siblings yourself, six of you stepped into the role of an older sibling, despite never having been the oldest before,” Dr. Aarons analyzes. “He became your responsibility, in a very earnest way.”

“I didn’t feel responsible for him, not as much as Seokjin-hyung and Yoongi-Hyung and Namjoon-hyung felt,” Jimin says.

“Me either,” Taehyung agrees.

“Same,” Hoseok adds. “Maybe that’s why I’m his favorite.”

A chorus of Oh’s and no ways and don’ts leave the men’s lips, laughter in their voices as Hoseok beams at Jungkook.

“Well, the three of you needed more guidance,” Namjoon says glancing at Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung who happen to be sitting together. “You were the greenest out of all of us.”

“Remember when you got asked what your three chances at life were?” Jimin turns to look at Namjoon. “Remember what you said?”

“Jungkook was the second,” Namjoon answers.

“Was that true?” Taehyung inquires.

“Yes,”

“But then you abused him and lied to him, and the rest of us for years,” Jimin’s sentence reads like a statement, but the lilt in his voice, the upturn of notes in the final syllables alerts everyone that it is in fact a question.

“Remember that one performance, it wasn’t Fire, but Jungkook had an exam the next day?” Taehyung asks. “He was so mad we were performing that night, he looked pissed.”

“He was just, we had good times, you know?” Seokjin starts. “Taking him to school, managing his schoolwork,”

“That’s how you two became so close?” Dr. Aarons asks him.

Seokjin nods. “Mm, we all had our moments with each other, but for us, that was it,”

“When you heard what had been going on, how did you feel?” Dr. Aarons looks to the men, all in a row according to age. She notices the shifts in everyone’s demeanor, the anger coating their eyes, the jaws locking, the cracking of knuckles. She knew this would come, war.

“Can I go first?” Jimin asks.

“Of course,” She responds.

“I was, disgusted, and confused, and hurt. Jungkook and I have gone through a lot of similar things, with our bodies and our attitudes towards them. We’ve been through a lot, and I felt so betrayed and scared that maybe what I had gone through was more calculated than I thought it was.” Jimin’s voice is strong, determined. He’s unafraid.

“I wondered that too,” Taehyung adds. “I was scared, we talked a lot, after the fight, about what had been going on and if it had been happening to us, too.”

“I just, I still can’t believe it,” Hoseok tells the room.

“You still can’t?” Dr. Aarons asks him.

“No, it’s all so, scary? So manipulative and planned. I just get so upset when I think about it.”

“I don’t understand how you did it,” Yoongi doesn’t look at Namjoon, he doesn’t look at anyone, dark eyes pointed directly at the floor.

“Me either, or why? I know why, you told us, but still,” Seokjin says.

“While these traumas were occurring, five of you were comforting Jungkook, consoling him, supporting him, correct?”

“Yes,” Jimin answers.

“Did you have any sense that all the things happening were just, too much?”

“What do you mean?” Hoseok questions.

“Did we wonder if something bigger was at play? Like all of it was planned,” Yoongi explains.

“No,” they respond.

“How do you feel now? Months have passed, you’ve gone through some therapy, individually, how do you feel now?” Dr. Aarons is curious, had her recommendations worked?

“I still don’t know why,” Yoongi starts, “I don’t understand what was so important that Namjoon allowed this to happen to Jungkook. I don’t get why Bang and Sejin and everyone else thought abuse was the way to go, we were all suffering just fine without them.”

“Suffering how?”

“Do you want us to go down the line?” Yoongi’s sarcasm is met with a terse glare from Dr. Aarons, followed by a nod.

“Seokjin, you start,” She says.

“I was extreme dieting, eating only plain chicken breast to slim down, dancing long hours, trying to get in shape,”

“How long did that continue?”

“A while… then it stopped, and started again, and stopped again,” Seokjin says.

“Yoongi?”

“I hurt my shoulder in a car wreck and still haven’t gotten it fixed.”

Dr. Aarons already knows the answer. “How long have you been in pain?”

“A few years,”

“Do you have plans to get it fixed?”

“Yeah, I’m nearing the point where I either fix it and recover or just slowly lose mobility,” The fear in his voice is almost undetected, but Hoseok hears it and pats him gently on the back.

“Mm, Hoseok?”

“I just, don’t stop,” Hoseok’s eyes leave Yoongi, meeting Dr. Aarons.

“Meaning?”

“I keep going, I push myself, I don’t slow down.”

“Is it a compulsion?” She writes, Hoseok’s therapist, Dr. Lee, had mentioned this in their debrief a few days ago. It was a compulsion, OCD mixed with anxiety.

“Maybe,”

“Jimin?”

“I had an eating disorder,” Jimin reveals.

“Taehyung?”

“I had insomnia, still do sometimes,” Taehyung shrugs.

“During these years, from training until now, the seven of you have endured psychological and physical trauma. You nearly disbanded in 2018, and just barely signed a new contract which Namjoon got amended. Why are you still together?” Dr. Aarons sips her now cold coffee, gently setting back on the marble coaster.

The men look at each other, unsure of an answer.

“No one knows me the way they do. Without them, I’m lost.” Jimin speaks first.

“They mean the world to me,” Taehyung answers. “They are the most precious, most important people,”

“Have you ever wondered why Bang let you all suffer so long?”

“He tried to help us,” Hoseok says.

“But, enough?” Dr. Aarons wonders. “You have collective trauma, it makes sense to me why you protected Jungkook, and why you’ve banded together. No one understands what you’ve been through, except the seven of you.”

“Doesn’t that make the betrayal that much worse?” Jimin ponders.

“We know each other by our breath or our smell, and here’s Namjoon, ruining Jungkook right in front of us.”

“Have you ever worried how much of yourself worth is tied to your success?” Dr. Aarons asks. “Not to dismiss the betrayal, but the root of this conundrum is success, it’s wealth, it’s fame and recognition. You’re viewing yourself through your accomplishments, no matter how you feel about yourself, how much you love yourself, you are so focused on being loved by the world that you will ruin each other to get there.”

“Some of that comes with youth, though,” Seokjin says.

“I feel like we’ve made progress, personal growth,” Yoongi agrees.

“We’ve matured, but we still want the praise,” Jimin adds. “We still want a Grammy someday; we still want to chart and perform in the biggest venues. We want a lot.”

“If you don’t achieve those things, does your work still hold value?”

“If ARMY thinks it matters, then it matters,” Taehyung answers.

“What if ARMY doesn’t think it matters?” Dr. Aarons presses.

“Then what was all the suffering for?” Jungkook whispers.

“I don’t know,” Jimin says.

Yoongi sighs, “It’s been worth it, though,”

“I agree,” Seokjin nods.

“Was Jungkook?” Dr. Aarons knows the outcome of this question, she knows the impact of the words she’s about to speak. Sipping her coffee, she inhales slowly. “Was it worth Namjoon being bribed and manipulated? Was it worth Jungkook being starved, worked to exhaustion, conditioned to think he’s weak or inferior? The disordered eating each of you endures to this day, the diets, the excessive exercise, the self-doubt, has it been worth that? The racism, xenophobia, the hiding of sexualities and being forbidden to express love towards another, your creative license being stripped from you album after album, has it been worth that too? Or is the fame, the prestige, the accolades, worth all the trauma you have inflicted upon each other, and yourselves. Has all of that been worth it?”

The seven men sit silently, their breaths the only sound, uneven as tears fall, shoulders shake, hands cover mouths to mute the sound. Dr. Aarons stares at each of them, crumbling one by one, because in this room, in this safe space, they’re finally able to understand the gravity of the horrors they’ve endured. They’re able to recognize that what has happened is not acceptable, it’s not okay. Though they don’t understand Namjoon or forgive him for his place in the abuse of Jungkook, they can rectify that it wasn’t of his volition. Forgiveness is earned, and in this beautiful room, sun soaked and welcoming, Bangtan is beginning to heal.

Next: Stolen Stares

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logicalstansadvice · 3 years

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Sebastian Stan is not 20. He’s almost 40. Mid life crisis usually occurs between 35 and 55. To say he’s going through one is not a far stretch. I think you are misunderstanding, or at least confusing the two groups of people who are saying he’s going through a mid life crisis. There’s the one half you’re probably talking about which are the ones who say he’s going through one because of him being in a relationship etc. Then there’s the other ones like me who thinks he’s going through one because I do think he is losing his mind, or at least has been for the last year or two. He acts like a twelve year old in a 38 year old’s body. He is immature and sour and does strange things like make childish videos singing hungry eyes and then posts another video drinking wine while looking at his ex- Leighton. I do think he is having a mid life crisis and to say he’s too young to have one is fucking bullshit. Don’t forget this is the same guy who also has two therapists. Learn to differentiate the two groups of people- the ones that say he is having a mid life crisis because they hate Alejandra and thinks it’s fake and the other ones who thinks it’s real and is happy he’s in love but thinks that he’s still acting like a fucking ass weirdo who needs help. NOT because of Ale, but because it’s fucking Sebastian fucking Stan.

Lady Danger - We’re almost all in the age range of someone who could have a mid life crisis. I think we can tell the fucking difference.

Equating someone in their late 30s who has a therapist and doesn’t give AF what fans have to say with someone in crisis is a huge leap.

Ruby Woo -

I like how they think they know enough about this dude to notice a change for the last two years.

Vamp - I'd say it's more like a pandemic introspection....we're all going through that

Ruby Woo - They know what he wanted them to know, point blank. If you haven't figured that out anon, your point is moot.

Vamp - Honestly I just think he's decided to live his life out loud and not give a fuck.

Le Chef - why are you thinking about this so hard?

No really. Why are they thinking about this so hard? Do you analyze people you bump into at wawas like this?

That man is as known to you as the work mate at your job in the cubicle across from you. You know as much abt work mate as what they give you at the water cooler. They may be a whole other person outside of work.

Cosmic - They do not know. All they have are opinions. Period. It is time they admit it.

Vamp - Why is everyone concerned all of a sudden by his dorkiness in that video? Where was all of that concern during the OMM era?

Le Chef - Bc it was cute when he wasn't directing it at someone specific and they could live vicariously through it.

Vamp - All I've heard this past year is how "we want our dorky Seb back". Bitch where did he go....he's been like this for forever.

Le Chef - Sebastian acted no diff in that video than anything else he's done. The only difference is he's openly claiming this girlfriend.

Heroine - He’s immature? He’s a man. A white man. (ETA: They get to be kids until they’re 57.) On top of that, he’s always been fucking weird. Where tf have you been to not notice this?

Le Chef - I think this fandom forgot how they treated Tito's up until they broke up.

Vamp - He has a weird, dark sense of humour. It's nothing new. If he had posted that video with a donut on that cellphone, fans would be submitting it for Oscar consideration.

Heroine - He’d been a genius and sooooooo funny. FOH with this fake bs.

Gemini - Now they want to focus on his weirdness??

Heroine - Don’t come on our blog telling us wtf we know or should think. We know what tf we said. The only people who think 35 is middle aged are people under 25 & I’m tired.

HiDrama - Seb to his therapist

Actually the more they call him immature the more I think THEY are the immatures ones in this scenario.

Heroine - They think adults enjoying “youthful” things is immature. They think we turn 27 and suddenly only like foreign documentaries and discussing mortgage loans. A lot of Zoomers think millennials and younger Gen Xers are immature. Everything is for the young & nothing for the old heads.

Le Chef - Its gonna be a weird feeling when a lot of these ppl get past the age of 32 and realize life really doesn't feel that different.

HiDrama - We all don't KNOW-know this man. We all here to have fun and there's someone always killing the buzz with nonsense. Debbie Downers - Sebbie Saddies!

#logical stans advice #logicalstansadvice #sebastian stan #asks answered

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blakemetothemoon · 4 years

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Love in a Laundromat - 7/? - SaifahZon, M

Notes: Soooo with everything going on, my NaNo has kind of changed into me focusing on this fic and I'm super okay with it. Thank you for all the support on this!

Summary: Zon's favorite place is a laundromat. That is until a certain tall, handsome stranger steals his washer and seems hellbent on making Zon miserable.

Read here or on ao3! :)

Marley Coffee Bar is only a short, five minute walk away, but it feels like ages.

Awkward pauses linger, like now that they aren't in the laundromat playing music they don't know how to talk. Saifah seems like he has something he wants to tell Zon, but every time he speaks, it's something mundane that comes out. Comments on the humidity, or how classes are going. There's this noticeable space between them Zon swears wasn't there before the party. Zon is starting to wonder if he’s the only one thinking about those intense moments of touching and moving together and kissing at all. In fact, Saifah barely looks at Zon. His eyes don't linger on Zon's lips like he’s caught them doing more than once…

And that’s when it hits Zon like a brick wall what Saifah is trying to say: that night was a mistake.

Of course, Zon thinks. Of course Saifah regrets it. He’s Saifah, and Zon is Zon, and—

"Here it is!" Saifah says, yanking Zon out of the heavy thoughts starting to weigh him down.

Zon glances up at the shop beneath the white “Marley Coffee Bar” sign and crinkles his brow at the darkened building, chairs on tables and no staff bustling about inside. “Um, it looks closed."

Saifah holds the door open for Zon and gestures for him to take a right instead of a left into the other side of the entrance where the lighting is dim and soft, jazzy music plays from an overhead speaker. “It’s a bar, too. Mostly wine and beer, but they’ve got some coffee-flavored cocktails and small plates.”

The barista-bartender is all smiles as he approaches them, white towel thrown over his shoulder. ‘Ban’ is handwritten pretty in white on his nametag. Ban raises an eyebrow when he notices the guitar on Saifah’s back. “Saifah! You’re not scheduled to play tonight, are you?”

“No, I’m just here with a…,” Saifah pauses. Then, he smiles softly and brushes past, smoothing out the wrinkle of hesitation like it was never there. “With a friend from university. This is Zon.”

Still stuck on Saifah’s pause—why did Saifah pause? What was he going to say? What was he ashamed to say?— Zon’s bow and greeting comes out a little awkward. Then, he glances up at the giant menu. Written in fancy, gold script, it stretches from one side of the bar to the next. Coffee, a column of roast types, teas, a beer and wine list, signature cocktails, food. Zon’s head starts to spin as he takes it all in.

“Just a cup of coffee black," he finally says. "Whatever the darkest roast is.”

“And the usual for me,” Saifah tells Ban. Then, he turns to Zon. “I’m going to put my guitar on the stage out of the way. I’ll grab our drinks on the way back, you go grab one of the booths.”

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Zon grumbles out of principle, but wanders off to do what Saifah demanded, ignoring the amusement in both Saifah and Ban’s faces.

Only a few other people are in the bar: a couple conversing with each other at the bar, another at the booth closest to the stage, and a group of five girls at a table. Every single one watches Saifah as he walks to the stage, their gazes more than fleeting, innocent interest. Zon makes a face and rolls his eyes before dropping into the closest booth, tossing his backpack onto the seat next to him. While he waits for Saifah to grab the drinks, he finally takes in the coffee shop-bar hybrid.

Marley Coffee Bar is this bizarre mix of antique and modern, like a coffee shop version of those speakeasies he’s read about in old American novels. The chandelier lights are all different shapes and types, and the booths are made of red leather, while the wooden tables are rustic grey. There’s a mahogany curtain next to the line of booths to separate the bar from the coffee shop; it’s velvet and soft when he loses against the urge to touch it. The stage is the only part Zon recognizes, thanks to all those fan videos of Saifah. It’s small and intimate, while the grand black piano next to it adds another level of class he didn’t expect when Saifah invited him to a coffee shop.

Zon is finding the whole mix-match of it kind of...inspiring? His fingers twitch, craving to write. Songs, stories, a new world with Marley Coffee Bar at the center of characters' lives. And this is where Saifah plays? He’s part of creating this atmosphere, part of the reason people come here?

“Really amazing, isn’t it?” Saifah says as he finally slides into the booth across from Zon.

So are you, Zon thinks. He barely stops himself from saying it out loud.

Saifah’s now sans guitar and holding four drinks. He sets them down without spilling a drop. Zon’s black drip coffee is in a mug the size of his face. The marble is a faded blue. Saifah’s drink is in a tall white glass with, “est. 1929” in golden scrawl. It’s completely different from Zon’s, like there is no consistency beyond the cups having history that customers can converse over.

“What are those?” Zon asks, pointing to the extra drinks.

“Ban made them. On the house, since it’s your first time here.”

“It’s not yours though, so why do you get one?

“VIP,” Saifah says and winks.

Zon snorts. “You’re so cocky.”

It’s one hundred percent not a compliment, and he did a great job of keeping any sort of endearment out of his voice. But it doesn’t stop Saifah from looking annoyingly proud of himself. Zon reaches across the table to smack Saifah’s head, and the taller man grunts even though Zon had put barely any force behind it.

Saifah pushes both cocktails into the center in a peace offering. “This one is basically a cold brew with rum and orange, and this one is a white russian. And if you don’t want to drink that’s fine, too.”

There goes Saifah being all considerate and annoying. Except it’s not annoying, it’s stupidly attractive, and it makes Zon all frazzled and giddy.

“Which is your favorite?” he replies.

“The white russian."

“You have that one.” Zon grabs the cold brew with rum before Saifah can accommodate him again. His head is already a mess trying to read Saifah tonight, he doesn’t need another reason to fucking swoon. Plus the drink he grabbed is so good, he has to immediately take another sip.

“So…” Zon continues, setting his cup back down on the table, enjoying the coldness against his clammy hands. “This is where you play?”

Saifah nods. “Most Wednesdays and sometimes when they do open mic nights on Saturdays. They raise the curtain and keep both sides open for those.” He glances back over his shoulder to the stage, then turns back to Zon with a trademark smirk. “You know, there aren’t that many people here. Ban would probably have no problem if we played a song or two.”

The suggestion instantly makes Zon’s stomach plummet. “No.”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun—”

“I said no, Saifah.”

Saifah seems taken aback, and Zon flinches, realizing the harshness of his tone a moment too late.

“It’s just—”

“No, I get it,” Saifah interrupts, saving Zon from fumbling out an explanation. “You’ve never even sang in front of someone before until recently. At least, not knowingly—ow!”

Saifah rubs his head again because Zon had hit him considerably harder that time.

"Stop bringing that up!” Zon snaps. “And how can I perform in front of people I don't know when I've never even practiced? If it was just us alone in your room or something, it would be diff…”

He slams his mouth shut, but the words are already out there, lingering and heavy with all sorts of implications, and Saifah definitely heard him because he looks both awed and then devious at the same time.

“Oh?” Saifah says, the word tilting like he’s singing it. "You wanna be alone in my room with me?"

“Music!” Zon rushes out. “Just to make music!”

“There are a lot of different kinds of music we can make—Zon, wait!” Saifah laughs as he grabs Zon by the wrist to stop him from storming off. “I’m kidding!”

Saifah gently tugs Zon's wrist and pulls him down into the booth next to him. The touch is so light, but his fingers burn heat into Zon's skin, and he hopes Saifah can't feel the sudden racing of his pulse. Thankfully, Saifah lets him go. Not so thankfully, Saifah slides his arm over the back of the booth, and he's so freakishly long, his hand can dangle over the edge. Saifah also has no trouble pulling Zon’s drinks to this side of the table, and now it would be too awkward for him to switch seats again, but… if he ignores the logic part of his brain, he knows he doesn’t want to.

There’s a soft buzzing against Zon’s leg. He thinks it’s his phone but quickly realizes it’s Safaih’s. In Saifah’s pocket. Which is pressing against Zon’s thigh because they’re sitting that close to each other, and now that he’s aware of it, it’s all he can focus on. When Saifah shifts to pull out his phone, Zon jolts at the movement.

“You’re pretty popular,” he says to distract from it.

“Well, obviously,” Saifah replies, meeting Zon’s snark with an amused quirk of his eyebrow. “But this time it’s just Day.”

“Day? Tutor’s friend?”

“Hey, hey, that hurts. You know who Day is but had no clue who I was when we met?”

Zon feels his cheeks grow hot which is dumb because he has nothing to be embarrassed about, just because he didn’t know who Saifah was. Maybe Saifah is popular with his music and maybe he’s a good friend of Tutor’s and maybe he’s so tall Zon would have at least noticed him once across campus. Maybe, considering all those things, some embarrassment was justified. Not that Saifah needs to know that.

“With how many adoring fans you have, I highly doubt me not knowing who you are means much.”

Again, Saifah looks like he wants to bring something up but drops his gaze back to his phone. He doesn’t sound particularly casual when he says, “I posted a new video earlier. Day likes to screenshot some of the more… fanatic comments.”

Zon doesn’t need to see the screenshots to know what those are like; he’d read plenty of them when he was looking up Saifah that one night weeks ago. (And a few more times, but only because they were playing music together and he wanted to know more about Saifah’s style. Research. It’s important when it comes to being a writer.)

Saifah is still reading through Day’s messages, and Zon is feeling the slightest bit ignored so he asks, “Do you want my line?”

They’re still pressed together; Zon feels immediately when Saifah’s entire body goes rigid. He raises his head slowly, like a puppet on a string. “Do you… want to give me your line?”

With an annoyed huff, Zon grabs Saifah’s phone and quickly goes to the contacts. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to.”

Saifah laughs when Zon hands the phone back. “ ‘Zon-Zon-Zon-Zon’ is your username?”

“If you’re going to make fun of me, then give it back, I’m deleting it!”

“Nope, nope!” Saifah hits the call button and wiggles his eyebrows when Zon’s phone rings. “Allow me to honor you with mine, too.”

After he digs his phone out of his pocket, Zon swipes his thumb, making a show of ignoring the call. Saifah’s affronted gasp makes it hard for Zon to keep a serious face, and he laughs. Apparently, regretting their make out session still doesn't stop Saifah from flirting with him. (This is flirting, right?)

“A giraffe?” Saifah says, incredulous, as he watches Zon set his contact name. “You’re using a giraffe emoji?”

“It’s the most accurate,” Zon replies with a smile, enjoying Saifah’s pout. Then, he sets his phone down and takes a long drink of his coffee, working up the courage for what he’s about to say next: “Okay.”

Despite the sudden backtrack in conversation, Saifah picks up what Zon is replying to. "Okay?"

The opening to back out is tempting, and Zon… he's scared but he wants to do this. "Let's do it. Write songs. At your place."

Zon doesn't expect silence. It stretches so long he finally has to look at Saifah to gauge the other's expression. His lips are tight and his small brown eyes are completely unaffected. "Okay. We can do that."

"Hey," Zon pouts, "why do you sound so unhappy now that I agreed?"

Saifah grabs Zon's arm and shakes it playfully. "My Zon, my Zon! I'm so sorry! Please come play in my room with me!"

Zon feels his entire face grow hot with a fierce blush, and he shakes Saifah's hand off. But before he can scold Saifah, the other unlocks his phone and opens YouTube.

“By the way, there’s a song I think would be fun to do together," Saifah says. "You know ‘Shallow’, right? I found this really pretty acoustic cover of it. Or we can do whatever you want. Maybe that Pardon Me song you wrote? I've been coming up with a bridge that I think works. I can teach you how to play guitar, too—” His excitement suddenly simmers when he meets Zon’s wide doe eyes. Like knowing he has Zon's rapt attention makes him nervous. He clears his throat and pushes a smirk. “You’ll have to ask me reallllly nice, though.”

Zon is about to remind Saifah he’s the one who brought it up. But Saifah’s enthusiasm is endearing and his closeness is a warmth Zon leans into without meaning to, and he can’t help but play along. “Oh, wonderful, Mr. Saifah. Please teach me how to play guitar with your paramount skills.”

The music video starts playing, but Saifah keeps the volume low so only they can hear. He hums and he sets his phone on the table. Then, like the coffee bar and Zon's answer have wiped away all that uncertainty he's been struggling with all night, he says, “I might need better convincing than that.”

For the first time that night, Zon catches Saifah looking at him like he did before The Party. In his eyes is that same heat he had when pressing Zon against that door before stealing his lips and his breath. A heat that holds words he isn’t saying but that Zon can read. The twisting confusion in Zon’s chest tightens while his entire being flares, burning hot and craving. He swallows against the lump in his throat and his mouth is dry as a desert. He chugs half his cocktail to try and moisten it, but his voice still cracks when he replies, "Guess I'll have to think of something."

Then, Zon presses in closer to Saifah's side, pretending he's more interested in the song than kissing Saifah until they're breathless.

#saifahzon #Saizon #Why R U #why r u the series #why r u?#Fic #blakemetothemoon

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unproduciblesmackdown · 3 years

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another prompt saga

April 8th: Talk about friendship. How important are friends to you? Do you find it hard to make and maintain friendships? Are your friends generally supportive? Is there anything about having friends that confuses you?

another big question for me to go on plenty of tangents lol

well i haven't often had friends Really, there's like, being amicable with classmates, being friends with people While We're At School Together, being friendly acquaintances lmfao, or like, the occasional "yeah ig we're sort of friends, not exactly very close tho" lol and then rarely where yeah i'd call someone a close friend, although naturally, it's not like i completely discount those other, less close relationships. and, even more so, not like overall i'm like "oh friendship? yeah that's pretty frivolous and unimportant and it's just something mildly entertaining vs the Real Shit & True Emotional Support & Love of your biological family and romantic soulmate" lol, Friends Are Important and it's entirely serious 2 me

also natch i Do find it hard to make and maintain friendships lol. goes back to like, preschool and being around a bunch of age peers regularly for the first time, where my "best friend" defaulted to this one person who sought out interacting with me when i was otherwise doing my own thing during preschool recess, and i was pretty enthused about getting invited to a bday party one kid invited a bunch of us to, because that was like, a Friend thing, and a fun social thing, and i was included.....that i Do remember just feeling like, socially, everyone else was playing a game i didn't know the rules to and so couldn't expect to participate and, furthermore, i ought to stay out of the way of whatever everyone else was doing, where i Did often choose to do stuff by myself, but it's like, you know, the way "autistic" is even used figuratively (which. i have a lot of disdain for) because it's like oh the defining thing really is that telltale "doesn't want to interact with other people or form relationships, probably because also they have no feelings / normal and intrinsic qualities of Humanity" but it's like, if you pay any attention or god forbid ask autistic people about their own experiences, sure everyone has their own varying social approach and anyone might not always be raring to be the center of the party or Not want to do their own thing, but it's not that oh all autistic people aren't interested in social connection, but that like even when you are a small child it's like, oh all these other kids are interacting in this way that isn't really my social style and that shuts me out, and/or attempting to interact with people results in this even subtle, quiet rejection / exclusion that can be picked up on. i wasn't making friends and was often keeping to myself / keeping my head down as it were, but it wasn't because i didn't want to have friends or socialize. my mom was insistent i was a Shy Child lmao and i'd always argue that i wasn't Really, without further explanation though lmao, but it's like, again that i felt that sort of emergent exclusion, and there wasn't any space to interact much on my terms at all, and like, yeah i often stayed quiet / didn't want to mingle with other kids / if i was in a Situation i wanted to know the How To of navigating it / what to expect

being friends with people at school was fine, except the drawbacks of stuff like "we're only interacting at school, rarely hanging out outside of that" & "someone in the same grade is in a diff class in elementary school so we just never see each other now" & "for some reason that 2nd grade teacher made a whole giant Example out of me and a friend, god forbid, not paying attention or whatever the fuck, so now i feel like we can't interact at all anymore" & "changing schools entirely between elementary / middle / college" & "not being in school" lmao similar to work friends too, we're At Work, might not see each other outside of that, might change jobs & stop seeing each other, & still overall rare, b/c the Preschool Experience never Really stopped imo, had different versions of it even into college and like, being at jobs with other adults lmao, socializing is still Like That, came up with the Je Ne Hate Quoi where like, people kind of just Know to exclude you / consider you an exception to whatever other social stuff is going on.

and then like, the difficulties even when socializing / interactions Are happening, where like, it's always funny like. i'm very Verbose / Chatty and very opinionated but like, this will surprise people, that i Talk actually and have a ton of takes, b/c i was keeping to myself / not sharing that with them and so it's like well, that must of course be the realest version of me, no way i was filtering myself, i just must have Not Wanted to talk, and/or had nothing to say & hence no thoughts or feelings i might wanna share lol, of course....and tbh like, it sure Can be true that i don't wanna talk lmao like. i wanna talk About Stuff that isn't really "personal" generally, which can be like, yeah i wanna talk about this book, or about birds, or about this trivia topic, or whatever, whereas idk so much how to do like small talk about your day or otherwise share Casual things about Yourself, like, idk, being aware my interests are things about Myself but also aware that it's Weird / wasn't the kind of stuff you were supposed to talk about, and i felt that things about my life were otherwise Not The Right Stuff, or too boring (never hanging out, not doing much except being at home reading / doing shit by myself or w/siblings) or too Unfun (able to pick up the sense that At Home Shittiness was a private matter lol......) and it'd be like, idk what to say, things about myself don't seem to fit..........but also it can be that i do not enjoy the Vibe of an interaction lmfaoooo like, i truly do not want to talk to you people. like that i can sometimes vibe with someone inebriated people better lmfao because then, idk, they have some sense of humor and can muster some enthusiasm for anything, but also i'm not really a fan of knowing that someone isn't sober lmfao like. ppl will be like "omg were you drunk" like no, that was just my personality, whereas i am not Heartened to know other ppl Will have to have been drunk to get on my level, for example, don't understand when people cannot muster being even a little silly. it's goofaround hours. but then you have like, being around a bunch of cishet people when they're drunk, and their humor is as nonexistent and boring as ever but they're even louder / more insistent about it, nightmare. and, yknow, just people talking and i'm like "i'm not interested in this at all, whether re: conversational Style or Subject, i would not want to participate" and times when it's like. i know if i was gonna chime in with what i Would say you would not be able to handle me here lmfaoooo so. i truly would prefer examining the wall and thinking about my own shit or texting with someone i do like talking with

but that yknow, in groups / conversations i would be at least someone interested in, i can still be like, idk, Hesitant To Talk b/c of all the instances you've been taught like oh you're socializing Wrong and everyone hated that, sorta like the post about making a comment about salsa that brings the gc to a halt and you're wondering how you fucked up and if salsa killed someone's parents and forgot or whatever, i've been Disheartened re: hanging out when it's like, well, nice to be included, but i'm a friendship third wheel here, not being included in the entire convo and nobody misses it, there's been instances where it's like, two people talking, i chime in, i am completely ignored multiple times, this is frustrating lmao. or there's been times i've tried to put myself out there in a way, like yeah sure i'll hang out with this group, but also i'm anxious and it's like, if people are doing homework i'm also bringing this thing i'm working on as this parallel task, only to find out down the line like people then regarded you as a joke or something b/c it was Rude or Wrong when you know, actually that was you reading some weird shit that didn't exist into the situation, and just like, idk it's wild how people will have like "graciously" declined to express something to your face, and you either can pick up on shit at the time but not be able to say anything which just reads to people like "oh they didn't notice this / that means you can push it a little further next time even" or like, figure out later that something that seemed positive or decent actually ft. people not liking you / not wanting to include you Yet Again, and as a bonus you're left with you know, having to always worry about if people Seemingly being amicable & accepting is actually them wishing you weren't there or solidifying some Interpretations of you that they're then gonna Talk About or Act On behind the scenes, like, beautiful thank you, always very touching, so glad you were so Considerate of someone's feelings and Nice about this where it just ends up being this whole letdown / feeling like even more of a rejection if there was this weird like stringing along lmao like. can allistic people be normal for five minutes

anyways and tied to that sort of, it's also like, simultaneously Cagey About Things and always worried about like, i could tell this person this thing and maybe it'd be Incorrect for the interaction and they won't care, whether because it's too mundane and boring a thing about you or because it's too #Real, i think i glimpsed something a month or so ago about like "do other autistic people have trouble where like, you can be friends with someone a long time but not get particular Close to them" or whatever lol, where like, well i have to hold everyone at arm's length and often Then Some because there's just matter of fact stuff about me that i nonetheless think i can't or shouldn't share, if i talked about something it might be out of the blue b/c i just was hardly confiding in people about it, or it's boring, or it's like, i don't actually feel like i'm close enough with this person that saying this isn't gonna be like "whoa overshare!! i just feel awkward & weird!" lmfao like. there were people i hung out with in person the year i lived out of my car and i did not mention this at all to them / kept it a secret b/c it's like, not out of like ohh this is a secret b/c No One Can Know, some people Could know lmao (shoutout to the person i Did confide in about these problems and who talked with me at what must've been like 3am in that timezone when i was like "well the rich people around here made sure to get cops to harass an unhoused person, e.g. me, would you believe it, it sucked" lmfao) it's that i knew idk, it would be pointless, they'd just feel weird about it and switch into that "for some reason, this is being Nice" where everyone will go into full Putting On A Front mode to be Polite like, that really sucks actually lmao could you Not. but it's like, idk, all this stuff where it's like "this thing about me / my life would be too Boring or too Awkward or Depressing or Etc Etc" turns out to be isolating / alienating b/c like, of course it would be. and idk nobody i ever made friends with in person i was Confiding in, not a ton of them re: me either, because you know. being cagey and wary, on top of like ohhh this person is Standoffish if they're hesitant to interact with people generally or do their own thing or i don't think they're socializing Right / have incorrectly inferred their feelings/motivations/intentions or whatever

and furthermore on that lmao it's also like, again, while i'm Verbose & Opinionated people will think i'm quiet & have no takes to provide because it's also like, even when it comes to stuff i sure feel i Could talk freely about, it's like, if i have a different opinion here will that just be a conversational Interruption ruining things for the real participants, probably nobody wants to hear me talk about this Subject, probably nobody wants to / would let me talk about it at much length without interrupting, even Online lmao i can be just going all out in terms of [how much i can talk about something] and while people can be Into that at that time it's like, people aren't into that beyond that one back and forth on one day, shoutout when people do enjoy the extensive discussing and/or have patience for it other times lol.

then supposing i Am talking to people lmao it's like, idk i'm an acquired taste or what have you, like, on top of the Talking A Ton it's like, the being opinionated and argumentative and sometimes pedantic or whatever on top of being irritable, could stand to be a bit more patient lmao, The Hater Friend to use the figure of speech lmao i have hardly been in a Group to be The [Any] Friend lol, also if my sense of humor doesn't fit it's like well how am i supposed to be silly, if being sometimes Enthused doesn't fit, again kinda an issue......have described myself as A Bit Much, humorously, but already not doing that as Much b/c it's like, i think i'm still too much like considering other people's opinions too "objective" here when like, first of all that's never accurate lmao, second of all i can easily forget that idk, i can at least in theory expect people to just regularly Like me and Enjoy interacting with me lol so. an acquired taste few can sample..........like hey even if other people don't vibe with me, it can just as much be the case that i'm not vibing with other people, don't worry lmao. and yknow, kinda parallel to Masking to seem acceptable in any casual social situation it's like, if i feel i'm suppressing my whole personality here / putting up a front / like i have to Get Through what should be a friendly interaction rather than be able to enjoy it myself, it's not exactly that rewarding. and plenty of times it's like, i like to be around people, but it can be strangers, i don't feel like "oh i wanna go out to eat / see a movie / go to this event, but if i can't get any friends to go, guess i can't!" like get out of the way i'm readily doing shit alone, it can even feel Better that way if otherwise it's like, now this occasion is about performing peak Agreeability for this other person/people, and like, not like i have ever been like "yes i have people i can readily ask to hang out and they'll be like Ya" anyways lol so. used to operating solo, where you can't be like "aha this is because this person has no Human Interest in Human Connection" when it's like. well it was never all up to me was it

well and so also it helped when i was 14 and able to be Online consistently, vs at home lmao. time for online friendship, which i don't think is like, oh that's not Real, like what sorry have you never known about people who have Remote friendships before, phones & letters & telegrams and also [nowadays when many ppl are Remote even if they usually lived near enough to hang out with] where it's like, you have this different format for socializing that can sure play out differently than Real Time, In Person interactions, and ever since i'll be posting mostly to myself lmfao but able to thusly talk about Interests and like, people will come along who want to talk more about it, then we do. i suppose also it can sure help that i'll draw (and Only draw, lol) for said interests, although tbh i think most of the time it's the extensive text posts that do it? really and great litmus test or whatever lmfao like, well already this person must not hate the verbosity. and then you can end up vibing with these people further, or not, but it's like, again, there's this chance for From The Start like, oh this person Likes that i have this niche interest, they like &/or don't mind talking A Lot about it lmao, vs in person introductions where that can sure happen but it's like, that's gonna be chance & spontaneous, whereas ppl might have the opportunity to Seek Out this interaction / content of yours......even online though, i'm still like, not as inclined to reach out or make the first interaction move or whatever lmao so. and then it's like, people make galaxy brain remarks like "ohh people who are very Online don't have friends, irl, they aren't Personable, irl," like yes congratulations i'm autistic and i don't have many In Person friends generally, sometimes maybe not any, don't really know where people think they'll land their argument here. like, follow it through, are you just calling people losers. is it "social media makes peopel Not social" like nobody is Doing Anything when they're online or everyone is embracing strangers and having heart to hearts every weekday morning with whoever is nearby if only they weren't on twitter? plus the fact that like, if i don't have access to people i interact with online, that doesn't like, force me to become neurotypical so that i then have a thriving in person social circle, it just means i'm more isolated? meanwhile, turns out it helps a lot if it's like, yeah i can Expect to interact with people

and then still like, all the time it might be like i still can feel Confused as it were about How To Talk To People lmfao like. there's not much "Just Be Yourself" when being yourself has meant filtering yourself, actually, and being v self conscious about trying (and often failing) to appeal to other people (which, then if you do succeed, it's like oops this person likes me but if i've been putting up a front the whole time, not super Validating) and not exactly a ton of practice getting to do Otherwise, and it can again be like. is this too boring to talk about, or just somewhat arbitrarily like "oh i'd better Not talk / say whatever" for no real reason lmfao, i Can just get like. Real Time Chatty as it were, but it's difficult actually lmfao like i need a lot of momentum, and it's easy for that to be Not the case.......and just like, again that it's easy to forget you don't have to be in "nobody wants to hear you talk" mode, or think like, okay, i can't just say anything, i have to say something Good, aka of interest or funny or whatever lmao but then it's like well i guess i Can just say anything. don't much know how to do that tho

(also, sidenote from "wtf is thinking being friends w/someone online is faker than when you're friends with someone sort of from being in the same building every weekday, what is the conclusion of 'what a loser geek whatever if you care about connecting Online who can't be popular Offline'" where it's always funny when someone is also like "wow even in person Fandom is, like social media, something that only people who suck at socializing Normally are into" lmfao like. not very relevant b/c nobody wants to really be in a broader fanbase rather than find particular kindred spirits through it, and who actually wants to go to comic con or whatever, sounds like a nightmare, but it's still such a faux analytical perspective lmfao like, again, first of all, what's the Conclusion to your argument here? and secondly honestly like. all versions of Small Talk are kinda gonna be bullshit, even amongst say, nt people, there's nothing Universal, and people can certainly be inconsiderate / preclude any genuine connection via what they might consider to be this neutral part of the ritual, and yknow, i find it kinda exhausting like it's peak Time To Mask and then i'm hardly in the mood to Really talk further, like yknow what. idk i'd be annoyed if someone demanded i Correctly Complete some sort of fandom reference by way of greeting, but i'm also annoyed when someone demands i Correctly Complete whatever maneuvers you're supposed to do with a rhetorical "how are you :)" lmfao like. you're a cringe nerd in the rigid social ritual of pleasantries fandom)

anyways and uhh yeah i also yknow, hashtag alana beck, it's like, glad to pretend Friendly Acquaintances makes sense, i guess it can, but it's great when it's like, oh i Don't have to only expect to be really peripheral in people's lives, or to only be friends with people i don't feel like i vibe with That much or also talk to that much about anything, when i can definitely feel like Yes this person is a Friend, no "are they actually closer to an acquaintance at this point" disclaimers needed, again, taking it back to the fact that friendship sure is Significant to me and when i have it that's v important thanks

so it's like uhhhh yeah difficult to make friends, don't have general appeal or whatever lol, ppl aren't on my wavelength or i'm not on theirs, hard to talk to people even though it's not because i don't/can't talk plenty lmfao.......and re: being Supportive it's like well, i don't really tell people In Person i'm autistic but naturally if you follow me Online here i am talking about it lol, and not like anyone who already knew me & was friends with me was like "oh nvm don't like interacting with you now" and i also gotta mention the like Handshake Lgbtq lifehack, where plenty of times it can be like, oh if we vibe on That wavelength it can be easier to befriend people, and/or that people will at least be more like, amicable / supportive based on Knowing you're handshake on that lol. b/c really it's like, i'd also like to just be allowed to talk and/or simply be around people even if we are not Personal Friends, aka that you can expect to be treated decently with some basic respect / consideration and like you're generally allowed to exist and be present and interact with people where you're not only guaranteed to Not be punished / excluded for it if someone's your individual friend and allows you to be here, so. once again it's like, can allistic ppl be normal for 5 min

#still behind on this naturally lmao but when it's now 1am and i've chosen to do a whole essay #it's like whew time to make dark dinner for now #30daysofautismacceptance #2021

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absolutiions · 4 years

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´ ･ . ✶ ⧼ madchen amick, non binary, she & they / fucked my way to the top by lana del rey + eyes the color crimson and hands stained in crimson, too. victim of the underworld, you are not. you came, not to sit silent at his side as dutiful wives do, but to whisper in his ear. pouted lips smeared ruby stoke the flames of his darkest impulses and his deepest desires. you are the conqueror. you are the queen. and may god have mercy upon anyone who underestimates this : because you will not. ⧽ ━━ don’t look now, but that’s ATHENODORA. the TWO THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED & TWENTY TWO ( varying physical ) year old GIFTED VAMPIRE has been here in seattle for three minutes, and is considered a member of the VOLTURI. they’ve always been MACHIAVELLIAN & INDOMITABLE, but i guess this town just brings out the worst in people ; apparently, they’ve been way more INSOUCIANT & SUPERCILIOUS than usual. it wouldn’t surprise me if they knew what was going on. click HERE to check out her stats.

they told you that you were a nobody, so you became the QUEEN. ( now everybody knows your name )

SECTION ONE OF THREE : background / human era. trigger warnings for talk of pregnancy, death, abuse

born circa 502 bc, in a little village that has no lasting name nor impact in ancient greece.

five of the children born to her parents survived to adulthood, and since she was the last one... it is almost like, her whole life, she has been suffering from younger child syndrome. who knew !

she very literally grew up in a diff time, so when i say she wasn’t rly close to any of her siblings, i don’t mean it in a like... horrible way. it’s not a reflection of character. they just didn’t have a tight sibling bond, though she loved them greatly.

same w her parents. they were unexceptional people who lived unexceptional lives, and though she was grateful for, u know... their creation of her - they were not close. they did not, in laymans terms, have the lorelai and rory gilmore dynamic.

her whole family were content to live their dismal lives, and... tho athenodora did not vibe, she, again - grew up in a diff time. of course she dreamt of more. of course she prayed to the gods for something better. but she was achingly aware of the fact that no such future would ever exist for her. such is life in 400 whatever bc, bumfuck, greece.

she was just barely eighteen when she was married to athanasios, to secure land, or smth, because those were the times. of course it was something like that.

he was... fine, at first. a little small minded ( that wasn’t the ONLY thing that was small, haha ). he, like everyone, was content to live the same old life, and athenodora just... wasn’t. she had been raised on stories of grandeur, and her parents had thought she would settle for the regular - it should not have been a surprise that she didn’t want to, but gods, did she try.

she never loved him, she can safely say ; but she wished that she did. for a long while, athenodora thought it would be easier, and thought that she could do a lot worse. unfortunately... she cld not.

their lives were meant to follow a certain pattern. they had gotten married, and now he would work all day, make them money, tend their land. she would stay home. cook. clean. raise the children that they were sure to have. athenodora was capable of almost everything expected of her, except for the most important part - she couldn’t seem to give him children. not strong sons. not beautiful daughters.

at first, he told her that it was fine.

after a year or so, he still told her that it was fine, but she could see in his eyes that it wasn’t.

two years after this, he called her the ancient greek version of defective for the very first time - and things only got worse from there.

he had always been a perfectly fine husband, until he was not, and athenodora had always wanted to love him, until she did not. she prayed to the gods every morning and night, to give her what her husband so desired. to give her that which would make her life better, even if she knew it would not heal the wounds already caused.

sometimes the gods r not dicks. a miracle! she becomes pregnant, aged twenty four ( i kno it sounded like she was a crone but again please remember the times ). she always thought it was just what was best n only athanasios would care, but , wow... suddenly. she cares. she has never felt this level of love with anything, until now.

but, tragedy :// straight white men ( idk, i just feel like her husband was the root of all evil ) are not so easily satisfied. who wld have guessed he wld continue to be an abusive asshole even after his wife succeeded in getting pregnant? i bet i shocked u all. who wld have guessed that a huge part of his problem wld end up being that suddenly, athenodora clearly cares abt something - and it isn’t him. again. got you all!

over the course of her pregnancy, he becomes, for the first time, a real threat to her - or maybe, athenodora simply never took him seriously until there is another person to think of. either way, she TRULY fears him and what he’s capable of by the time she gives birth, and after he makes some passing remark abt their baby, she yeets the FUCK out of there in the middle of the night, eirene ( baby ) only a handful of days old. she takes what she can carry and nothing more, and she... makes it pretty far, thanks to the kindness of strangers. you love to see it.

she settles somewhere ( she considers to be ) far away, and she makes up a good story : her husband died in a war ( there were probably a lot of time, i dont know ) and she was widowed, left to care for their young daughter alone. i know. its really original. they didnt have tv shows back then to rip stories from though.

stays in a hovel on the edge of their village. think the shittiest home you’ve ever seen and then make it shittier. there are rumors about her being a witch, and she kind of appreciates them, because it keeps kids out of her yard. and shock of all shock : in spite of being... u know. a woman. and not very skilled. she finds a very hot ticket job - working for the very wealthy volturi family who live on the other ( opposite ) outside of town, but like, in a considerably better home, obviously.

honestly, i don’t kno what the ancient greek equivalent of that secretary in new moon is, but that’s the vibe we’re going for, here. she’s like, a chambermaid or smth. and she makes a tidy little sum. doesn’t question her weirdo bosses that much. doesn’t know what anemia is because im p sure it wasnt discovered by then, but presumes they have it.

and maybe, just maybe, it’s the finesse of the century : or maybe, just maybe, it is destiny. in no time at all, she has caught the eye of the volturi’s most eligible bachelor(tm) : caius volturi. many another worker is made upset by this fact, as athenodora is very quickly alotted VERY special treatment as the apple of his eye, which includes, i don’t know... hand delivered baskets of pomegranates, a nicer home and in due time, the simple pleasures of the flesh.

so that’s pretty neat. and life’s pretty fine. she feels like an ancient greek sugar baby, and honestly, isn’t that all she’s ever deserved? she’s got some nice digs ( i don’t think she’d have called them that ) and a man who worships the ground she walks on and who spoils her with pretty things, and most importantly : she is taking care of her daughter, who i absolutely didn’t forget about. eirene is the literal light of athenodora’s life, and everybody knows it. if i say jean valjean and cosette vibes, can we all pretend we get it?

and then it goes to shit. as things do.

her daughter is fourteen years old, when her father finds them ; and she doesn’t know, she never knows, if he was seeking them out or whether it was all DUMB luck. regardless of it all, he is stood inside her home, his breath coming in angry half pants, and athenodora is convinced that this is it. that her end has come. that her freedom is over. she dies, she thinks, or she returns back to the house that was not her home with him. these are her options.

she tells her daughter to leave. she stops him from following. when she is shoved and her head hits the table, she is aware of the option he has chosen for them more than all else - but the gods, or perhaps, just one - intervenes.

until this night, athenodora had never known the truth of the volturi. but when her beloved saves her from athanasios, she sees him for what he is. she UNDERSTANDS. and she isn’t frightened. she should be, for sure, she should be running as fast as she can - but all she can think in that moment is that she is free now in all the ways she has never been... and caius, her love, is something so much larger than this life.

for the first time, the godhood that athenodora has always dreamt of is within her grasp. she makes him promise that once eirene comes of age, he will make her into the same creature that he IS. she makes him swear a solemn oath, and he who has been so infatuated by her for so long cannot argue.

four years. this is all it takes, and then eirene is eighteen - capable of standing upon her own two feet. athenodora leaves her everything - all the gifts she has ever been given, all the wealth accumulated, the home. everything she will not need, once she is gone. and she says a final goodbye.

caius turns her himself. the greatest gift he could ever give her.

and reborn, athenodora is MORE than everyone in her life could ever dream of being. she is the queen of the underworld, the goddess of death. she is all of this, and more. at his side, she finds GREATNESS. and once she had it, athenodora decided she would never again be without.

SECTION TWO OF THREE : volturi era.

became cool. became powerful. very emma frost of her, rly

didnt rly care for the rest of the coven outside of caius but sometimes u gotta hang w scrubs

didyme dies sometime after her turning, and that kind of fucks everybody up

not so much her bc like i said she didnt rly care but... caius b frightened of losing her, i guess

kind of throws a spanner in the works

she spends a lot of time ‘locked away’. not , like, literally ( bc that’s gross! ) but... caius takes over protective to the extreme

uses this time to harness her power and fuck

not always in that order

also spends a lot of time telling him he deserves to b leader

deserves to b the new aro

who needs powers?

not u, caius

go kick their ass baby i got ur flower-

( he doesn’t go kick their ass but man she wishes he wld )

she’s genuinely devoted to him, however, as much as it sometimes seems as if she’s using him as a means to an end

she DOES do that with a LOT of people, but caius... that’s her baby! her darling! her sweetie pie! fuck everybody else in this house caius, she respects YOU !

she jus wants to see him be the best there ever was, and he’s.... p... happy to giv her everything she wants, so their dynamic is actually p equal

we love to see it

anyway lots of years happened and now she’s here

seattle sucks -athenodora’s official review

but she’s fucking SICK of aro’s shit and thinks her 2020 birthday wld be the best time for an official change of pace

obviously aro can read minds so he knows athenodora has high aspirations but he has learned his fucking lesson w killing ppls mates, i guess

lucky for her!

that’s all i got

hehe

SECTION THREE OF THREE : power.

athenodora is an ungifted vampire in twilight canon, but to that i say : fuck ya chicken strips. in equinox, she be special. her power is life force manipulation, in a pretty unique ( and dare i say ) way.

she was a forty two year old woman, when she was turned. she had lived a life, and she had the MARKS to show for it. but the very first time that she drank human blood from the vein, athenodora realized that she was not as unexceptional as she had always been lead to believe she was. vampires do not change. they’re frozen in time, like statues, portraits, photographs... and yet, before caius’ very eyes - athenodora did what no other vampire could. mere seconds passed, and suddenly ; she was stood before her beloved, decades younger. it lasted as long as her thirst was sated, with her age returning to her as her eyes darkened once more. and it happened all over again, when next she fed.

over time, she’s come to understand it well enough. she has a particular love of younger humans ; those in their twenties, and thus, physical primes. she thinks that is, in part, down to her gift ; she seeks these out to drink from because when she feeds, she’s not simply drinking their blood, but also, their life force. she’s taking theirs to add to her own.

like many gifted vampires, she has spent time learning what she can of her gift, and learning whether there is some other way to apply it. it took almost two thousand years, but eventually - athenodora discovered that with a touch, her fingertips to their skin ( and a great deal of focus ), she could render another changed, also. it lasts for only a short amount of time - an hour, maybe a little longer, depending on how strong she is. but it works. and it makes her think that, in all her unlimited time : she might just be able to do even more. be a danger. manipulate life force in a way that can DESTROY. she’ll keep on working on that for as long as she lives.

#equinox.intro #ath #( 𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐃𝐎𝐑𝐀 ) ━━━ * biography !

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writingandmore · 4 years

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Submission from x-joie-x

matchup request!!

hiya, i’d like to request a match-up for mcu, kh, & bnha!! (id rather be matched with someone younger tho)

looks: 5'4, dark brown eyes, straight-ish below the shoulders black hair

description: bi girl but i prefer men! ambivert but a lil more introvert. fun-loving & friendly INTP scorpio. if im not given enough attention, i feel unwanted & sad. rlly quiet w/ people im not close w/. daydreamer but very studious! easily annoyed, but feels guilty after ‘cause im soft-hearted. playful/serious, childish/mature, funny/shy, loud/soft, bright/deep, competative/laidback. talkative/good listener, loud/soft, clumsy/attentive, kind/quiet, sweet/smart, annoying/lovable. its easy to make me smile & laugh but i also get jealous easily. hopeless romantic! socially anxious, i sometimes get too scared to do anything in fear of judgement. very awkward. i help others a lot and i like testing myself! im actually self-conscious and sensitive. i have a good sense of humor. i also have an older twin sister! i want to be the best~ im weird-ish? i also like making faces hehe. its hard for me to reach out to others and ask for help. i say stuff like “yO hoMie” “yeet yeet” “ey broooo” lolol. gen z kiddo?!? i know a lot of things for my age~ i actually dance and sing but?? im average but i just do it cause i like it. i surf the internet A LOT. im rlly good at diff kinds of games~ when i say im smart i am rlly smart, i love being top of my class and when ppl come to me to check if their answers are correct. big nerd and geek i think?? like say smth abt a thing i love n ill just sprout random stuff lmao. although im lively and funny, i can also be rlly quiet and deep in thinking. sentimental stuff and uhhh probs thinking about psychological things.

loves: diff kinds of jokes, affection, animals, doing exhilirating things, music, movies, books, games, astrology, astronomy, learning new things, mythology, family, & friends. i actually also like sports (softball, volleyball, badminton) but im not that good.

hates: too much heat, school presentations, creepy dolls, being under pressure, & dirty things

i hope its not too much, take care of urself & thanks!! ^^; (take ur time its fine i can wait!!)kk

Mcu: Thor!

- Being fun loving and friendly would be a great fit for someone like Thor! He’s very sweet and loves to have a good time, and he honestly needs it after all of the things he’s gone through. It would be a really cute and playful relationship overall!

- You wouldn’t have to worry about not getting enough attention-he’s a very considerate partner and would always check up on you to see if you’re getting all that you need from the relationship! He’d want you to be as happy as possible with him.

-He’s very extroverted and talkative, so even when you don’t know each other at first, he wouldn’t have any problems with keeping up the conversation and getting you to open up. You wouldn’t have to worry about not being outgoing enough to talk to him.

Kh: Ienzo!

- Being able to be calm and collected but also knowing when to stop and have fun would be a good thing in a relationship with Ienzo. He needs to learn when to take breaks and have fun every once and a while, and you’d be perfect for that!

- He’s a very sincere and blunt person, so most relationship issues like feeling jealous would be talked about pretty quickly and resolved without much issue. He wouldn’t really want to hide anything or let it get out of hand, so it would be a very communicative relationship.

- He’s pretty shy in terms of romance but he is really sweet and would try his best to take you out on dates and anything else you might enjoy! It’d be trial and error for a bit, but once he finds out what you like it would be a lot smoother! He’d get super flustered if you ever planned a date for him.

Bnha: Kirishima!

- He’s really talkative and kind, so even if you feel that you might be a bit awkward in conversation, he’d be able to keep up the conversation He’s patient too, so if you’re quiet or don’t really know what to say, he’d be perfectly content to wait until you’re ready.

- You wanting to help others would really attract him! He’s kind and wants to be a hero, so of course he would want to help others as well. He’d be able to sacrifice a lot of things to help others, and he values that as something really important.

-He’d love your sense of humor! He enjoys joking around and making other people laugh, so a sense of humor in his partner would be something he would look for! Making him laugh is pretty easy too, so it’d be really fun to be around him.

#mcu matchup #marvel #Thor Odinson #kh matchup #kingdom hearts #ienzo #bnha matchup #boku no hero academia #Kirishima Eijirou #submission

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wp-yahoo-style-1042-yahoopa-blog · 5 years

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What are blue-light-blocking glasses, and do they really work? Here's what experts say.

Blue light blocking glasses are on the rise. (Photo: Getty Images)

Do you ever get a headache after looking at a computer or phone screen for too long? According to the Vision Council, 59 percent of American adults report feeling symptoms of digital eye strain. Blue-light-blocking glasses are becoming increasingly popular, but do they really work — or are they just the latest fashion trend?

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As an editor, my days always involve looking at a computer screen for upwards of nine hours a day. I don’t usually wear glasses, but if they can reduce my eye strain and help prevent headaches, then sign me up. It doesn’t hurt that these blue-light-blocking glasses are fashionable too. I decided to put them to the test. But first, what is blue light anyway?

What is blue light?

Blue light is emitted from digital screens like computers and phones. Excessive blue light exposure is linked to eye strain, fatigue and headaches. (Photo: Getty Images)

“It’s emitted from your digital devices, artificial lighting and most prominently from the sun,” Amanda Rights, a doctor of optometry and Transitions brand ambassador, told Yahoo Lifestyle. “The sun is actually the largest source of harmful blue light — emitting more than 100 times the amount of harmful blue light from digital devices. But because we are indoors on our screens for an average of nine hours a day, our devices are negatively affecting us as well. Damage from harmful blue light is thought to be cumulative, similar to exposure to UV light, and may increase the risk of developing skin cancer.

“Excessive blue light exposure has been linked to eye strain, fatigue and headaches and, in the long term, can increase your risk of developing retinal damage,” she added.

“You’ve probably read that excessive exposure to blue light before bed, like working too late or scrolling through Instagram, can impact your ability to fall asleep because it suppresses melatonin — a hormone that helps regulate sleep.”

What are blue-light-blocking glasses?

Blue-light-blocking glasses are now available from brands like Warby Parker, Covry and Diff Eyewear. (Photo: Getty Images)

They are glasses designed with blue-light-blocking lenses that, just as the name implies, block damaging blue light. However, the percentage of blue light they block depends on the glasses. In general, they look and feel like ordinary optical glasses with clear lenses. They come in a variety of fashionable colors, styles and shapes — square, round, oval and cat-eye, and in tortoise, black, clear, red, blue and many more shades.

Covry Pavo Beige (Photo: Covry)

In the past, I’ve always associated blue-light glasses with those unsightly yellow-tinted versions, but now many brands have launched stylish options alongside their normal eyewear assortment. Direct-to-consumer brands like Warby Parker already offer the option to incorporate blue-light-blocking technology in their lenses (for an extra $50), whereas brands like Diff Eyewear, Quay and Covry offer specific blue-light-blocking glasses.

Do they really work?

Blue-light-blocking glasses are more popular than ever. (Photo: Getty Images)

I tested my own pairs of blue-light-blocking glasses from Covry and Diff Eyewear over a period of three months. At first, I didn’t notice any immediate differences. However, over time, I did. I would start my day wearing them or put them on toward the late afternoon as soon as I started to sense my eyes getting fatigued or a headache beginning to form. I have to be honest … they worked! I noticed a reduction in overall headaches and eye strain from staring at my computer screen all day.

But it’s hard for me to confirm 100 percent if it’s truly the glasses alone doing the “magic” — is it part placebo effect, or is it a combination of other elements of my day (e.g., staying hydrated, reducing caffeine intake, taking a break, etc.)? Overall, there’s no doubt blue-light-blocking glasses have become especially popular among our team; four or five editors sport them on the reg. Personally, I recommend everyone to try them. They’re not for everyone, but I do feel they helped reduce my headaches and they look super-chic too — a fashionable accessory with function. What’s better than that?

Look Optic Screen Laurel (Photo: Look Optic)

How much do they cost?

They range in price from $15 to upwards of $100. I noticed a considerable difference between the craftsmanship of an under-$20 pair versus a $65-plus pair, but it’s hard to tell the difference in how much blue light they each filter. According to Rights, “It is virtually impossible for the average consumer to spot the difference between a low- and high-quality pair of lenses. Like most retail experiences, you get what you pay for. Lower-end blue-light-blocking lenses may still be somewhat effective, though they are less durable and do not offer the same warranties as higher-end lenses. In contrast, going to an eye-care provider you trust will ensure you get a quality pair that will fit your lifestyle.”

What do the experts say?

Blue-light-blocking glasses can be worn while using digital screens like computers and cellphones. (Photo: Getty Images)

The short answer? There’s not enough research to confirm yes or no.

“Eyeglasses that claim to filter out blue light from digital devices are becoming popular, this is true,” Raj Maturi, MD, clinical spokesperson for the American Academy of Ophthalmology, told Yahoo Lifestyle. “Because there is currently no evidence that blue light or screens are causing any irreversible, permanent damage, the academy does not recommend any special eyewear for computer use. But, of course, your eyes may feel dry and tired after sitting in front of a computer all day. This is from digital eyestrain.”

Maturi suggested alternative tactics to reduce eyestrain. “One example, use the 20/20/20 rule: Every 20 minutes, look into the distance about 20 feet away or leave your desk — for about 20 seconds, minimum. This ‘mini break’ reboots your vision by increasing your blink rate and moving your focal point away from your screen,” he said.

Similarly, Yasha Modi, an assistant clinical professor of ophthalmology at NYU Langone Health, told Yahoo Lifestyle that “there is no evidence that blocking blue light is beneficial to the health of the eye.

“There is also no evidence that blue light inflicts harm upon the eyes,” she continued. “However, this market has certainly expanded tremendously over the last few years … I do not encourage it, and I also do not discourage it given that the absence of evidence may simply represent a lack of clinical studies evaluating the effects of blue light on asthenopia [eye strain] or sleep-wake cycles. Given the amount of digital time we are logging, it is certainly reasonable to study this further.”

What do the reviews say?

Blue-light-blocking glasses are available for a wide range of age groups. (Photo: Getty Images)

Despite limited research on blue light and eye strain, these top-rated reviews attest to the glasses’ positive effects.

“The frames are affordable, the screen lenses are invaluable,” wrote one reviewer for Look Optic’s Abbey glasses ($78). “Since purchasing these a bit over a year ago, I don’t go an 8-hour day without them. If I temporarily misplace or forget them when I need to work in front of a computer screen, I almost instantly regret their absence. If you wear glasses, or spend a good portion of your day straining your irises like I used to, be kind to yourself and purchase a pair of these. When your eyes won’t feel strained at the end of a day, you will not regret your choice.”

Blue-light-blocking glasses might be a good option if you use a digital device before going to bed. (Photo: Getty Images)

“I’ve been using these blue light blocking glasses for a week now and I can already feel a huge difference in how tired and tense my eyes and face feel after a day at work,” wrote one reviewer for Diff Eyewear’s Gordan ($75). “I suffer from a lot of migraines and I stare at a computer A LOT at work and have been known to scroll through the ‘gram to wind down at night and these babies are honestly life changing. RUN DON’T WALK PEOPLE.”

Diff Eyewear Gordan (Photo: Diff Eyewear)

“For good sleep, and after seeing the price, I thought why not,” wrote one Amazon reviewer out of more than 1,100 for these best-selling Tijn glasses ($17). “Glad I did. I put them on as soon as it is dusk and wear throughout the evening until bed for the nights I am home, and I have experienced deeper sleep. The frames are on the cheaper side, but are very lightweight, and the large lenses are also very comfortable as well as cover the whole eye. I have used amber glasses before, but they were too dark and distracting. No problem with this pair — the very light amber is not distracting at all, and I forget I have them on. This has been the cheapest sleep aid I have ever tried. Is this just coincidence or placebo? Don’t know! But can report results.”

If you’d like to give blue-light-blocking glasses a shot to see for yourself, keep scrolling to shop 12 versions below.

The editors at Yahoo Lifestyle are committed to finding you the best products at the best prices. At times, we may receive a share from purchases made via links on this page.

Tijn Blue-Light-Blocking Glasses

Tijn Blue-Light-Blocking Glasses (Photo: Amazon)

Shop it: $17, amazon.com

Warby Parker Finch

Warby Parker Finch (Photo: Warby Parker)

Shop it: $95 (+ $50 for blue-light-blocking technology), warbyparker.com

Diff Eyewear Gordan

Diff Eyewear Gordan (Photo: Diff Eyewear)

Shop it: $75, diffeyewear.com

Covry Pavo Beige

Covry Pavo Beige (Photo: Covry)

Shop it: $105, shopcovry.com

Diff Eyewear Lucy

Diff Eyewear Lucy (Photo: Diff Eyewear)

Shop it: $75, diffeyewear.com

J.Crew Round Blue-Light Glasses

J.Crew Round Blue-Light Glasses (Photo: J.Crew)

Shop it: $15 (was $30), factory.jcrew.com

Look Optic Screen Abbey

Look Optic Screen Abbey (Photo: Look Optic)

Shop it: $78, lookoptic.com

Quay Australia Walk On

Quay Australia Walk On (Photo: Quay)

Shop it: $50, quayaustralia.com

Look Optic Screen Laurel

Look Optic Screen Laurel (Photo: Look Optic)

Shop it: $78, lookoptic.com

Covry Salm Amber Brown Tortoise

Covry Salm Amber Brown Tortoise (Photo: Covry)

Shop it: $85, shopcovry.com

Diff Eyewear Aria

Diff Eyewear Aria (Photo: Diff Eyewear)

Shop it: $85, diffeyewear.com

Quay High Key Mini

Quay High Key Mini (Photo: Quay)

Shop it: $65, quayaustralia.com

Read More from Yahoo Lifestyle:

• Amazon’s best-selling ‘holy grail skin care product’ is also dermatologist-approved • Kate Middleton twins with Meghan Markle in spring’s hottest jacket trend • Everything we want to buy from Drew Barrymore’s chic new home line with Walmart

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0 notes

asexual-fandom-queen · 5 years

Note

Diff anon, but for me in the beginning, Aro/Ace p*dge was pretty eh in terms of popularity. Then people noticed her getting shipped with Sh*ro which lead to a spike in it. Then it was vehemently picked up when ppl saw her/lanc3 or her/ke*th. It was embraced on both the @nt* and prosh*p sides bc it’s a pretty innocent headcanon. It only really gets into yuck territory when those same ppl attack others with it. Some Ace ppl had issues with it bc they saw it as ppl hiding sh*ph@te behind inclusion

Yeah, okay, see, and that’s what I was talking about in my answer to the first ask. VLD has a whole mess of extenuating circumstances that make it a not great example of aro/ace headcanons being used to cast a female character off to the side. A) because VLD is a pretty ensemble style show, and it’s not like Pidge has a level of spotlight in the show fandom is then diminishing in its fanworks; and B) shipping culture is toxic in every imaginable way, and for the most part AGE is the main contributing factor, not m/m versus m/f shipping. By and large, people picking up aro/ace Pidge was to further the anti-sh*aladin cause, not because they were necessarily rooting for a particular Shiro ship.

If someone wants to chat about aro/ace Black Widow, that’s a conversation I’d be willing to have, as it’s better suited. There is a clear Phl*nt VS Whatever-The-Clint-Nat-Ship-Name-Is dynamic that you can look at and discuss. Because Natasha is one of maybe three examples I can think of where this honestly might happen. (Though even then, I disagree that it’s anywhere near prevalent enough, or is even an actual problem that merits being part of a callout post about toxic shipping culture ffs)

And actually, having had some time to sit with the post and consider why it bothered me so much, I’ve actually realized exactly why. Because as mentioned above, there’s some degree of aro/ace headcanoning that’s done to further ship agendas versus being good faith attempts at representation. BUT instead of framing it that way, OP frames it as cringy shippers saying, and I quote, “she’s aro/ace uwu” and that is… so beyond disrespectful.

In our current climate that is so anti-inclusion and lumps aro/ace discourse in with cringe culture (and often times straight cringe culture at that) to even imply there is ANYTHING wrong with headcanoning a “fan favourite female character” as aro/ace, and to say that it’s only done because she's “not an immediate threat to the popular m/m ship” is – i’m sorry but it’s vile.

OP isn’t being the great champion of aro/ace representation here. They’re shaming aro/ace people for deigning to include themselves in narratives, because apparently you can only respect a female character if someone’s still able to fuck her??? There’s no care or compassion for the aro/ace people who might see themselves being commodified by instances of aro/ace rep done in bad faith, it’s still just all about OP bolstering their (anti-slash) agenda.

And that’s just what it’s like to be aro/ace across the board. All the fucking time. And it’s tiresome. Hating on aro/aces because it’s the fun thing to do is tired and overplayed. Aren’t people tired?

It’s also a damn shame because the post is otherwise saying something very important. Female characters are often mistreated by fandom, in some fandoms worse than others. Some of it can be put on the original works themselves, but sometimes it is fandom culture that twists things to shut out a female character in favour of their OTP.

But this happens both in the cases of m/m AND m/f (and in some cases f/f) ships. This analysis is completely targeted against m/m shipping, and, by my reading anyway, seems to come from a place of critiquing straight m/m shippers. There’s no consideration held for the queer shipper. Which is a position I’ve seen so many strait women take on m/m shipping which is JUST as maddening (and I can’t comment on if OP is a strait woman or not, their blog links back to nothing) but that’s how it reads.

(Also it pisses me off that the specific example was “she’s aro/ace” and not “she’s a lesbian” (which I’ve seen too!!!) or a more broad “she’s not attracted to men” but I’m gonna just stop here of we’ll be here all night.)

#ask answered

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wasilewskitbfrostzn64insura-blog · 5 years

Text

dodge charger 2018 insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurecostfinder.top

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dodge charger 2018 insurance

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parvinasseaynk72insurance-blog · 5 years

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Toyota 4Runner Cheap Insurance

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :COVERAGEFINDER.NET

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Toyota 4Runner Cheap Insurance

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Toyota 4Runner Cheap Insurance

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jodyedgarus · 5 years

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Tacko Fall Is 7-Foot-6. And He’s Breaking Basketball.

If Dr. James Naismith had known that the sport he created would one day be dominated by Tacko Fall, he probably would have nailed his peach basket a bit higher than 10 feet.

The University of Central Florida center is listed at 7-foot-6, although Tacko and those around him will tell you that the senior has grown an inch taller. That makes him the tallest basketball player in college or the NBA. And it means Fall can dunk without his feet leaving the floor and play keep-away with the ball by merely raising his arms above his head. On defense, he’s at most a half-step away from the action, capable of plucking rebounds off the glass or stopping layup attempts by sending the ball crashing into spectators.

“He is one of the most talented kids I’ve ever seen,” said Justin Zormelo, a personal trainer who specializes in analytics and has trained Fall in recent years. “He can do things on the basketball court that have never been done before.”

Anecdotal evidence aside, Fall is in the final stretch of one of the most dominant and efficient careers in the history of college basketball.

For a guy who has been playing basketball half as long as many of his peers, Fall picked up the sport pretty quickly. Seven years ago, Fall, then 16, left his family in Senegal to move to the U.S. “Basketball and school, that was the plan,” said Fall, who had effectively never played the sport before his arrival. “I honestly can’t imagine doing that,” UCF head coach Johnny Dawkins said.

By Fall’s senior year of high school, colleges from around the country had come calling. Even though he had received scholarship offers from established programs like Georgetown and Tennessee, Fall chose UCF, a relatively green program. (It has had four all-time appearances in the NCAA tournament, none of which went past the opening round.)

Four years later, Fall has arguably led the Knights to three of the five best seasons in the program’s history.1 This year will likely culminate in the program’s first NCAA tournament appearance in 14 years. “I think he wanted to come here and leave this legacy,” Dawkins said. “He chose a place where he could really impact what was going on. He made that commitment. And look where he’s taken the program.”

Few if any have scored with more efficiency at the college level. “You’ve got to feature him as much as you possibly can,” Dawkins said, laughing. “And we do that.”

Although he has never been UCF’s leading scorer over a full season, Fall has made just under three-quarters of his career field-goal attempts. Oregon State’s Steve Johnson set the all-time career mark (67.8 percent) in the early 1980s, which means that Fall could shatter that record by more than 6 percentage points.

Fall is on pace to shatter the field-goal percentage record

NCAA men’s basketball players with the best career field-goal percentages, for players who attempted a minimum of 400 field goals and made a minimum of four per game

College career Player Team Height Final Season total Games career FG% Tacko Fall UCF 7’6″ 2018-19 110 74.0% Steve Johnson Oregon State 6’10” 1980-81 116 67.8 Michael Bradley Kentucky/Villanova 6’10” 2000-01 100 67.7 Murray Brown Florida State 6’8″ 1979-80 106 66.8 Evan Bradds Belmont 6’7″ 2016-17 129 66.7 Lee Campbell Middle Tenn./Missouri St. 6’7″ 1989-90 88 66.5 Warren Kidd Middle Tenn. 6’9″ 1992-93 83 66.4 Todd MacCulloch Washington 7’0″ 1998-99 115 66.4 Joe Senser West Chester 6’5″ 1978-79 96 66.2 Kevin Magee UC Irvine 6’8″ 1981-82 56 65.6 Orlando Phillips Pepperdine 6’7″ 1982-83 58 65.4

Through March 6, 2019

Sources: NCAA, Sports-Reference.com

This season, Fall’s effective field-goal percentage is 75.1 percent, the best mark by nearly 5 percentage points.2 If that number doesn’t change, Fall will finish in the top three for the second time in three seasons.

Synergy Sports Technology started tracking points per possession in the 2005-06 season. As of Tuesday, there were about 23,000 Division I player-seasons that accounted for at least 150 offensive possessions from 2005-06 through 2018-19. Of those, Fall’s four seasons at UCF ranked third, ninth, 23rd and 27th in adjusted field-goal percentages.

Although Zormelo said Fall’s jump shot is much improved, Fall hasn’t been asked to use it much in college. In fact, Fall has taken a whopping 11 total jump shots over his career, according to data from Synergy. “You always have to know where your bread is buttered,” Dawkins said. “And for him, his bread is buttered in the paint.”

UCF has the tallest front court in the nation, pairing Fall with 6-foot-11 Collin Smith. “On defense, he’s a monster,” said Smith, who admitted that he is rarely concerned if an opponent sprints past him toward the rim. “Just knowing that I have that 7-foot monster behind me is just amazing. I know he’s going to clean it up.”

Counting stats, especially on the defensive end, often fail to showcase Fall’s value. For example, despite having a huge impact on what happens in the paint, Fall has never ranked in the top five in blocks per game. But he has won an American Athletic Conference defensive player of the year award. As Houston head coach Kelvin Sampson told The Associated Press, Fall “takes away half of your playbook.”

And Fall’s presence on the court clearly makes his team better on both ends of the floor. His on-off court splits are jarring. According to Hoop Lens, UCF’s defense improves in nearly every facet when he’s playing. On offense, his team’s effective field-goal percentage is nearly 8 percentage points higher when Fall is manning the paint.

Fall’s impact on UCF has been huge on both ends

The on-court and off-court split for Tacko Fall and UCF in a variety of key offensive and defensive metrics in the 2018-19 season, through March 6

Offense Defense Without With Tacko diff. Without With Tacko diff. Points per poss. 1.00 1.08 +0.08 0.97 0.89 -0.08 eFG% 48.9 56.7 +7.8 47.3 45.5 -1.8 Turnover % 16.6 16.5 -0.1 16.6 17.5 +0.9 Off. reb % 27.0 33.1 +6.1 28.1 28.4 +0.3 FTA/FGA 0.523 0.525 +0.002 0.434 0.241 -0.193 2FG% 49.8 55.1 +5.3 48.1 45.1 -3.0 3FG% 31.7 39.6 +7.9 30.5 30.8 +0.3 FT% 72.2 61.9 -10.3 65.8 63.0 -2.8 3FGA/FGA 0.378 0.363 -0.015 0.365 0.395 +0.030

Source: Hooplens.com

In the two seasons before Fall’s arrival, UCF ranked outside the top 220 teams in Division I in points allowed per possession, according to data provided by Synergy Sports.3 The team made up substantial ground in Fall’s freshman year, and over the past three seasons, UCF has ranked in the top 10. The Knights held opponents to 36.5 percent shooting from the field in 2016-17, tying the 10th best mark nationally in field-goal percentage defense since 1978. This year would be the third consecutive season that the Knights ranked in the top 15 in effective field-goal percentage defense.

Individually, Fall has allowed 44 total points on 79 possessions against post-ups over his career. In isolation, he has allowed 25 points on 34 career possessions. Fall’s lateral quickness has also improved considerably, his coaches say, as has his ability to diagnose and thwart offensive schemes. “He’s guarding different actions that teams are throwing at him,” Dawkins said. “I can see his response time has gotten faster. He’s recognizing what’s going on at that end of the floor a lot quicker as well.”

There’s no shortage of reservations hanging over Fall as he heads toward the upcoming NBA draft. The age of the slow-footed big man is over and, increasingly, the league seems to have less room for guys who can’t get it done at the free-throw line. Fall is 23, and there’s a short shelf life for players who stand at least 7-foot-3: Only 25 have logged action in league history, and fewer than half played more than five seasons. Can someone lacking above-average end-to-end quickness and stamina flourish — or even function — in today’s NBA? And how honed is Fall’s jump shot, which hasn’t really been tested outside the paint? Is his skill set more Yao Ming or Hasheem Thabeet?

“I mean, there’s not a lot of guys like me,” Fall correctly noted.

Zormelo believes in his player, though. “The guy can move a ball wherever he wants. Everything he does is crazy.”

For the short term, UCF is enjoying its first appearance in The Associated Press poll in eight years and is coming off a weekend win over then-No. 8 Houston, snapping the Cougars’ 33-game home win streak, which had been the longest run in the country. On senior night Thursday, the Knights host No. 20 Cincinnati in the first top-25 home matchup in program history, with a chance to beat their second ranked opponent for the first time in a single season.

The Knights are hoping for a sellout for Fall’s final game at CFE Arena. But he’s most concerned about one fan who will be there: his mother, who has never seen her son play in person.

Seven years after he said goodbye to his old life, Fall entered an airport a few days ago and paced around the baggage claim. “All of a sudden, I see her head and we started running,” he said.

Onlookers saw a woman sobbing. Fall saw his mother.

“I have thought (about that moment) every day since I’ve been here,” Fall said. “I felt like I was dreaming. It was incredible.”

from News About Sports https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/tacko-fall-is-7-foot-6-and-hes-breaking-basketball/

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