#or at least dont talk shit about me my ghost will cry

[xkatchy]

Send help. Cheese (for me). And wine (for @kueble ). We are inside that monstrosity. With 2 feral boys. If we weather the storm... will any of us be the same?

[wikiangela]

.

[hrtsdollie]

THE LETTER - M. STURNIOLO (matthew sturniolo x reader)

pt1

warnings; no use of y/n , none this is simply a letter from a grieving girl to her boyfriend who has passed , it’s super short though!

major warning; this is a super rough topic to write about, if you don’t like the idea of reading something where matt passes, then please do not continue reading. this is purely fiction, and in no way, shape, or form am i trying to spread misinformation and claim that matt is seriously dead. this is just a thought i had (about readers grieving process and sort of the reaction). if you don’t like it, don’t read it. if i receive hate from this, anons and comments will be turned off. - xoxo emmy.

dear matthew, 

the weeks following your death were worse than anything. media was awful. and normally when people got under my skin like this, you would help me. but now.. its the posts about you that were bothering me. you really can’t help me now. i never realized how insensitive this fanbase was. some comments and memorial videos are sweet, most are not. i miss you matt. i lay in your bed and i cry. i cry? is this what you would’ve wanted for me matty? to spend my days crying? i dont care, i miss you.

wails can be heard all throughout the our house. we’ve left boston. nick and chris and me. not you. i want to move down there. i want to visit you whenever i would like to. but your mom says you’ll always be with me. chris stays in nick’s room. his cover has been broken down and he’s starting the grieving process. im proud of him. i know nick  feels it too, but chris needs him.

our friends have all come to visit us. the fridge is stocked with casseroles and drinks that we probably won’t ever get to. nearly every surface is covered with flowers. your friends loved you more than anything. everyone did. but nobody is grieving like nick and chris and me. that’s all it is now. just nick and chris and me. the flowers and the food are too much. 

it’s almost like the house is aware of your absence. our bathroom flooded, chris nearly burned the kitchen down by using the toaster, and it’s like the ninth time i have slipped walking up the stairs. my sweet boy is gone, and all shit is hitting the fan. come back to me, matty. i love you.

your silk sheets still smell like you, along with every hoodie. your pink hershey shirt is worn by the pink bunny you had bought me for valentines day. i have all of the bunny stuffed animals gifted to me by you just sitting in your room. i miss when i was your bunny. i miss the feeling i got in my stomach the first time you called me that. i would do anything to hear it come from your mouth just once more. 

i feel guilty, like maybe it should’ve been me in the car. but your brothers have told me several times it wasn’t my fault. i can’t keep myself from holding some resentment towards nick and chris. what if it’d been them? i know that isn’t any better, but seeing them everyday hurts me so bad. it’s as if the ghost of you, my highschool sweetheart, simply floats through the halls, but it’s only your brothers. chris shaved his beard, he’d let it grow out after you died. he looks less like you do — well, did now. it hurts a little less, but it’ll never not hurt to see them, or at least that’s what marylou told me. 

i call marylou everyday. it’s nice to hear her voice. she’s hanging on and trying to work through this, at least from what i can tell. i think i’ve sent you too many voicemails these past few weeks because your inbox is full. maybe i wasn’t the only one who simply wanted to talk again. i feel bad sending you messages everyday. so that’s why im writing this for you. you deserve to have an update, you always were nosy. and so so sassy. i miss your “mattitude”. if you were here i would let you be sassy, and make stank faces at me all you want.

i hope all the pain you ever felt is gone now matty. and i hope this letter finds you well. i will continue to write this until i see you again. someday. not now, and not soon. but someday. 

love, bunny ᡣ𐭩 

divs by @/anitalenia

open to possibly writing pt3 on this one because i have an idea but that would be the last part! feedback is so heavily encouraged (be kind, i am just a girl 😓).

tags: @lypsiiii

[brilliantfantasticgeronimo]

empire of death thoughts+reactions part 1

previously onnnn (super short sdlkfj)

HOP ON, COWBOY

sdlkjs morris a literal 13 year old having guns on his lil' scooter thing.is UNIT ok.

omg even the vlinx TOT

the birds will sings again!!!!!!

dust of death mmm delicious alliteration

"im sorry there's nothing we can do. we're dead" vibes

loving this action sequence ngl

WATCHA TALKING ABOUT

maybe is not [insert character]. maybe mrs flood is just an old lady who is Like This.

"my true name" "ur true maker" whats her true maker if not RTD!!! / clowning

"we've got worse problems" that's gonna come back to bite him skdfljdskl

does anyone remember the clara / 1 paintdoktahwho comic "dont take that one. take the tv"

thats what im thinking ot

(askdjlad UGH my iplayer stopped so i refreshed and while skipping to the place i think i spoiled my self for susan ?? TOT sutpid internet stupid preview skipping thumbnail function grrrr) im not a tardis smasher in general but the memory tardis….. would. maybe

"remember it harder" i would be a useless companion here tbh. memory of a goldfish.i would doom the earth.

IT'S A TV SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S TELLING THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE

I MADE A JIGSAW OF YOUR HISTORY SDKLFJSLKJF

AAAAAGHHH

sdflkdfj sutekh spining in the vortex. 2 cute

the temple……….. tardis as the thing in the hill meta INTENSIFIES

"so many secrest" um TIMELESS CHILD FUGITIVE MEMORIES FOBWATCH????

oh ok i jut got spoiled for the clip OF susan sdlkfjdskl FALSE ALARM FOLKS

"never yours again, never"

my angels of death………………..

"i find that good" i feel they did this same exact phrasing once for a "death is beautiful" monster like this but i cant remember which story?

also, flux? flux anyone? 13 vs entropy itself?

"i am an extinction event" OOF

(oh this clicks on why the doctor clings sm to living / immortality despite how much it hurts)

memory is a time machine TOT idk but that Hits Harder

"sutes" dlkjfslfk cute

"and doesnt it feel good?" holy shit

yayy mel's not dead yet

MEL GRABBING SIX'S COAT IM FINEIM FINE IM FINE

(idk why but that's what's made me cry slkfjsd)

"ruby roo" sdkljsfd

lasdkj if a regular tardis is 6 people driven then a memory tardis is probably meant to be piloted by every single doctor and companion ever

"meleanie b" TOT (doctor trait unlocked: when 15 is stressed he intensifies on the cutsey nicknames)

CHEKOV'S INGELLITEN GLOVE !!!!! damn i thought for a second about putting that on my bingo card but didnt skldfj

i like that the subtext of "when disaster comes, he's there" / "the tardis is an ommen of death" & "he has one constant companion… death" isn't literally being stated as being "sutekh did it lol" lol cause that would feel a lil cheap. i think instead rtd took a smarter choices of keeping that subtext, but keeping it that stricly speaking what sutekh did was just putting the susan copies everywhere.

73 yards……………

omg wait so in a memory tardis u can remmeber anything to existence………….. what if heiimagines susan at the end

(MOLECULAR BOND ROGUE CALL BACK?)

73 yards…………. HOW DO U KNOW THAT. I JUST DO. SHE'S JUST GOOD AT CONVERTING UNITS DAMN. LET RUBY BE GOOD AT UNIT CONVERSIONS DOCTOR.

ohh wait so this connects perception filters and 73 yards. put on a pin on that (and presumably……. taking down the perception filter is what happened re: ruby? that's why people ran away? people saw beyond her perception filter to the elderitch abomination bellow?)

"you've landed on earth a 100th times" is probably a huuude understimation lol

"she was reborn stronger each time. this monumental figure" dr. who as a cultural institution meta

shots outside the tardis my beloved

1999….. the movie... 2005 …. obvious. 1066 was the fire of london right? with 5?

this is rlly working for me ngl. dr who is all about death meta but it's literal but it's not

and a lso the whole. when u are a time traveler everyone is already dead. we must be like ghosts to u . etc etc

telos… THE OOD SPHERE noooo

mel being like "well…. at least 1% of the universe is fine. that's all right then" .

this |5 "it's all my fault" beat feels a lil' weird until u remember [all the traumas] / flux trauma and then it's like yeah i getchu doc i too take everything bad that happens as proof that it is my fault even tho, factually, it makes no sense as a reaction. trauma/depression girlies united.

THE SUN IS DEAD. rip 42's sun.

omg thank u sutekh for finally fixing that over-blue colorization in the unit set. not all heroes wear capes tbh.

aaaand the end.

fade to black.

doctor who is done! we can all go home and become trekkies everybody. congrats!

[sheikahwarriork]

Do u have any dimileth headcanon??

LMAO TOO MANY. here's a brief(?) list

dimitri fell in love right away when they met but realized it only during the rain scene

byleth fell in love more slowly and realized it at the goddess tower (academy)

sylvain knew about dimitri's crush all along and kept teasing him about it but dimitri was dense and clueless and always like "i dont know what you are talking about, sylvain. my only feelings toward the professor are admiration, care, and the wish to spend all my life at her side. totally normal"

during the fishing tournament, byleth asked dimitri to keep her company. dimitri was confused, the professor always fishs alone!, but gladly accepted. she also tried to teach him how to fish but he kept broking the fishing rods

byleth always spends at least 3 hours at sunday having tea with dimitri (its me im byleth)

the first time byleth tried to make tea for dimitri, she made a chamomille too strong for a normal human to enjoy. luckily dimitri isnt normal and it was the first time in years he tasted something. byleth keeps over-pouring his chamomille just to see him enjoying some taste

dimitri cant cook for shit. byleth only knows how to stew at a campfire. dedue is their savior

(dedue knows about dimitri's crush too but doesnt tease him about it)

they love each other in every universe, in every timeline. even if they dont realize it, or one of them (dimitri) dies, they still love each other and always will.

dimileth CF: edelgard is the one who kills dimitri, byleth tries to stop her but fails, and after she spends an entire day hugging dimitri's corpse, unable to understand why her heart feels so broken (since when does she have a heart?)

dimileth VW: after the timeskip, byleth meets dimitri for the first time at the gronder. she rushes to him and hug him, whispering "i thought you were dead", and dimitri replies " i thought it about you too". then an archer hits dimitri on the back. he looses strenght on his legs. byleth starts screaming. dimitri doesnt look at her, he only says "i always wanted to dance with you" and dies. byleth turns back time till the monastery and now chooses the blue lions :)

dimileth SS: (wooo "ghost scene".) dimitri always loved the professor from afar. and hes not dead, but he knows he's about to, so he goes to the monastery to see the professor one more last time. he needs to tell her what hes doing, what hes about to do, but looses all his composture once he sees byleth smiling at him in relief (she thought he died- offscreen during gronder). ohhh but he needs to go now, he feels like that smile isnt meant for him, this isnt his- their story; maybe in another life. this is dangerous. why this urge to kiss her, why right now? he needs to go, now. "im sorry, professor. im a coward, i've always been a coward. i came here to tell you-" shes crying, shes smiling. "i love you too".

woooo too much angst. back to the romcom fluff

when byleths asks dimitri to go to the sauna with her, he heats up so fast not bc of the heat, but bc the professor is in her underwear sothis help me-

mercedes knows too. (actually every blue lions knows. theyre not very subtle) she tries to help byleth realize her feelings by talking through metaphors but byleth is too dense and she keeps wondering why mercedes always talk to her about "the goddess and her king"

during academy phase, dimileth dont kiss. but according to sylvain, they spend all the time "eyes-fucking each other". true!

their first kiss? lmao actually at the S support scene. theyre clumsy and a bit awkward- its the first kiss for both- but its also the best one of their lives. bc its the beginning of their life.

sothis hates both of them (lovingly). A LOT. she considered many times to get control over byleth's body just to make those two fuck. everytime byleth smiles under her breath when she thinks about dimitri and then wonders "what is this hot wave im feeling? must go ask manuela about it" sothis starts screaming

at the ball, dimitri spent all the night looking for the courage to ask the professor to dance. once he collected it, he sees claude dancing with the professor! (how dare he!) (why am i so jealous?!) the next time he spares with claude, claude ends up in the infirmary. "oops. my crest activated :("

they have many children and lives happily ever after forever.

("brief list" my ass.)

hope you enjoyed this! many of these hc comes from a very long fic i wrote some time ago that i still havent published, but im working on its translation (its currently only in italian) and maybe, one day, it will be on ao3. i hope so. :3

[speltfields]

I just want to thank you for weekly rebloging "donny big lewoski bumblebee fancam" I just got around to watching the movie yesterday and I only have to say

WHY 😭😭😭😭😭

I don't want to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it but I loved it 🧡

Do you have similar movie recommendations? I adore movies about ordinary people in weird shenanigans.

Oh man I have so many. so glad u enjoyed 🥰

going 2 post movie recs under the cut in case this gets long:

First off, other coen brothers movies will have a very similar vibe.

-Raising arizona: nic cage looking about as good as hes ever looked. more on the silly side akin to big lebowski

-Fargo: i LOVEEEE this movie. Another Buscemi Banger... It's still pretty ridiculous but the overall tone is a bit less silly.

miller's crossing is also really good, but its a lot more mobster movie than ordinary guy in a situation movie. Burn after reading is similar to the others but I dont really like that one as much.

Moving on from the coen brothers, I actually think nic cage has some other bangers in this category...

moonstruck: i just really like this one idk why, but is more rom-com than coen brothers movies tend to be. i think i just really like cher tbh.

adaptation: This Movie Is So Silly And It Made Me Cry Big Time. its about a guy who steals flowers, a woman who wrote a book about the guy who steals flowers, and the screenwriter making the movie about the book. ridiculous premise played straight situation.[this concludes the nic cage section... Unless... Ur brave enough to enjoy Con Air or Face/Off...🤨]

punch drunk love, inherent vice, the nice guys:

all some type of flavor of "some shit goes down in LA". the nice guys was one i got on by the OP of the original DBLBFF creator. A rec straight from the source

california split and mikey and nicky are both dudes rock movies where some guys find themselves in a situation. also just love robert altman and peter faulk and john cassavetes as actors. these are both on the more serious side iirc

big night: i really like this one but its not higher up because its not very lebowski-ish, but its about two brothers trying to save their restaurant.

Oh yeah, any stuff by the Safdie brothers has a touch of weirdness in the mundane at the least. It's like if the big lebowski was a lot more high stakes and made u sweat a lot while ur watching. I especially like Good Time for rpatts looking nice and grimey ans The Curse (which is a tv show but wow is it insane. it's really insane and im getting off topic but the curse is really good.)

notable mentions for movies I just really like who have interesting weird characters in situations: Dog day afternoon, ghost dog, my cousin vinny, thelma and louise, lars and the real girl, and office killer. I'm kinda losing the plot here so I'd take the earlier recs first, but all of these movies are fun in some way imo.

this got kinda long mostly because i really like talking about movies, hopefully u find something good out of those anon tysm for askingggg^_^ i think my overall theme for this list ended up being "movie with average people in a situation that will hold your attention for 90 minutes"

[brokenmachinemusings]

tw suicide talk i guess. rare moment where i actually talk about whats going on in my brain. nothing serious this is mostly kept as casual writing.

honestly the only reasons im even alive rn are 1. hoping for a liberation in this world & that everyone is free, wish to possibly live until then (and. hopefully helping w a small change in the world.) 2. mass of the fermenting dregs concert in march (the bigger reason i havent offed myself tbh) (i forgot about this and then got reminded of it and it was just around when i was contemplating how to die. then once i remembered im now in the mindset of I Must Get It Over With This Month At Least.)

erm. when i was younger i had the whole “i have to live until 18!!!!” shtick which was also part of why i didnt kill myself back then. i dont believe in that anymore especially because i am approaching 18 but. food for thought? i guess???? this is the type of joke i would crack and people just stare at me like they saw a ghost. maybe i am a ghost.

this topic is. Really casual to me (in the context of myself) and im not sure if its because. im mentally ill. im a system. simply that i hate this world and dont want to live in it. something else. all of the above. or whatever. eh

part of me wants to drop out already and just rot away but at the same time i know thats just a traumatized part☝️ i know what u are. he has been trying to sabotage us for years and hes actyally cool just that. persecutor shit can rly fuck with ur psyche. also gets us lagging behind on our schoolwork. sighs.

that said there has also been a lot of persecutors fronting lately. or persecutor-adjacent parts? not sure. whatever. not like it matters much. ill shut up now im just trying to digest my thoughts and emotions. been “numb-crying” recently which is a really weird thing to experience. (basically when u start crying because of emotions but its not proper crying more like something leaking out. like a faucet that is damaged. and u dont feel anything either. except the overwhelming vortex of ur mind. and a burning tear on ur face or two. maybe not even realizing ur crying until later on. which might just be emotional amnesia.) ya know

im also wondering if this is Too Much to share with the internet, or well Tumblr Dot Com but. i didnt share anything dangerous per se and nothing that triggers me so i should be fine🤔 just saying if someone responds to this with “kys” ill just laugh in your face and block you or something. lolza. ok bye 4 now

[bubsub69]

Entry 32

21/11/2023 00:01 Well, I guess its official now… alone again… or im gonna be her ocasional booty call, which i guess isnt bad, i just have to manage my expectations with her, have a purely sexual non romantic relationship…

I honestly took it better than i thought it would, i dont know if i remembered to mention it but on the day i made the booty call realization and i was running late to school i got angry at traffic as per usual, and after straight up screaming at a dumbass driver in the middle of the road i started crying really hard in my car, and i guess i got all of my sadness out at that point, which i guess is better than suffering for a long time. Still it makes me question if i actually loved her if i got over her so easily… i guess love is a strong word for someone ive talked with only on a couple days on pretty much exlusively sexual topics, maybe i grieved on thoughts of what could be maybe i was really sad for losing her and im overthinking it

its not like all hope is lost though i guess, theres still that slight chance that she suddenly got 1 morbillion surgeries back to back and when shes done with those shell have time for me again, or maybe i should stop making fanfics in my head and accept ive been ghosted/only being used for sex with increasing rarity.

I really wish i wasnt the one that has to start conversations with people, i talked to a couple people for non sexual purpose, and it kinda sucks that i have to be the one that starts conversations, or else theyll just die off, i wish i could have someone text me… asking about me… caring for me… I hate grabbing my phone and seeing no notifications, except for reddit comments and shit I changed the notifications for J and the 1 (one) time i got to hear it made me so happy. Maybe i really should talk with my cousin again, even if i was not her first option someone to talk to/only when everyone else was busy and was just used to just go talk about her problems..ugh nvm im not really remembering those memories very fondly..but still maybe i should send her a text.. or wait for her to try to call me again, though it has been a couple months since we talked, and even if going out just to talk isnt exactly my cup of tea i guess its still healthy of me to talk to her instead of just stewing on my sadness alone

I wish i could go back to being happy while alone. I dont know what happened to me for me to get fucked up like this… Ive been talking a bit with some guys in college, but its very little social stimulation, and is really boosting my impostor syndrome, maybe i should just get a job and get off this fucking place… what am i saying, how could me relocating and leaving the confort i have here help in any possible way… I gotta learn to be more independent as well, I cooked by myself the other day, which was easier than i thought, so thats good news at least i guess… though it was just boiled pasta and scrambled eggs, but its a step in the right direction.

i wonder how long itll take for me to find someone again… another half year? maybe a full year this time? would i even be able to manage that? im starting to get really sensitive to any cute couple stuff online.. seeing this https://www.reddit.com/r/RoleReversal/comments/17xfnhx/daydreams_of_being_able_to_pick_my_partner_up/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3 really ruined my day when i saw it…

Maybe i should just bite the bullet and try to meet people irl.. as scary as it is and as clueless on what to do as i am. thing is i suck at talking face to face with people, im so fucking akward, and its hard for me to make conversation on normal topics. but i dont think an online relationship would be as good as a physical one, especially with how touch starved i am. Ideally wed meet online first and then go irl, but its rely hard to meet someone from nearby on the internet… besides D i guess

I should just jump off a fucking bridge shouldnt I? what the fuck am i even doing here? im just in college because i dont want to work, i probably wont be able to function as an adult when i graduate, I got no friends to enjoy life with and im sick of living under my parents roof but i wouldnt last a day outside of it…what the hell do i even do? all i want from life is happiness and for some reason i cant even have that, i dont even know if its socializing thatll help me. sometimes after leaving classes and having conversations with people im anxious to run off and be left alone, so if its not that what is? have deeper conversations? have more casual conversations? have conversations that arent school related? well i guess that could help, the one time i talked of a non school topic it was enjoyable. But its hard for me to do that as well, i cant initiate it because im scared of being annoying, sometimes when i crack a joke with my db group it falls really flat, which obviously doesnt mean i should stop making jokes overall, i should maybe just save them to a diferent audience, but my self esteem is already in the shit and this doesnt help, plus theres a really funny guy that for some reason i really want to try to be as funny as, maybe i just want to be as confident as him, it definetly wouldnt hurt to be a sad sack of shit that constantly pities himself.

Wow just realized i mentioned all the women that hurt me this year lol…well majorly hurt because i trusted them, ignoring the fucking findommers and the people that ignored me and the infamous we dont vibe based on the opening sentence you sent me. why did i go look at my fucking pathetic chat history, what is wrong with me, i know itd just make me more upset and i went to check anyway

I might repost my ad again when im 100% sure J has ghosted me since its been the most successful experiences ive had, even if they ended in hearbreak, maybe third times the charm. I should probably try to change it this time, its a miracle a shitty ad like mine caught any attention at all especially from 2 wonderfull girls like them. Ill just keep trying more femdom personals and stuff, though ive really lost a lot of motivation for trying to talk with people

Fuck me i spent an hour and a half writing this shit when i was suposed to be writing the db report, god i hate my useless ass

[anachronistic-falsehood]

13, 24 and 31 ( and 9 just for funsies :]c)

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

hmmm i don't have anything in particular that's super difficult. i will say that action/violence is usually pretty difficult. i don't know how to fight!! how do i write others fighting!!! fuck!!!! easy subject matter??? grief, actually. maybe it's because i haven't lost anyone close in recent years, or maybe it's me projecting my fears of death and loss onto characters, idk, but yeah. grief is very easy for me to write, at least right now.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

it depends on the story tbh!!! stuff like Flores Facets, i barely plan out at all, it's all spur of the moment, but i do typically have a general idea of where i want it to go when i start. stories where i go off basically nothing take a bit longer to write because i will usually hit blocks at some point. if it's stuff like Dreamstuck or Coffee, BOY i am planning everything out TO THE LETTER!!!! and yes i love the planning parts, because writing out general outlines in a notebook helps me find plot holes and figure out where to go with certain plotlines and stuff. I LOVE PLANNING!!!! <3

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

OUGH. i am at my computer rn but if i was at my phone i would just paste a thousand different reaction images of crying emojis. god. i love all my readers i love all of u. kissing all of you on the foreheads <3 support from all my readers keeps me writing, like ofc i would still be writing dstuck even if i didn't have support bc that shit has me in a chokehold, but stories like flores facets would be dead in the water if i didn't have like five people cursing me out and crying all at once for various things. i love every single person who has ever clicked on a fic of mine even if they didn't finish it, i love u i love u i love u <3

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

THAT is a v good question. i think so??? like there r definitely Things fuckin wandering about. i dont think everyone becomes a ghost i think it depends on the person and the way they died and other shit yk. i think most people don't become ghosts, most of us just dissolve into atoms and shit. i don't think i'll be a ghost. maybe some of my molecules will one day be a tree or be eaten by worms and maybe centuries in the future some of my atoms will be part of other people. matter cannot be created only moved. maybe some of my atoms were once part of people who died eons ago and my cells have lived many lives before me. WHO FUCKING KNOWS!!! death is weird!!!! talk to ur local ghosts visit a cemetery think about the lives your atoms have been part of before you and how every single cell that makes up your brain has perfectly created this amalgam that is you and how someday some of them will be part of other living things and make something entirely new <3 that got away from me but there's ur existential rant from whiskey for the day :3

[mitchiegonewild]

aot youtuber headcanons part 1

Eren: "jaegerbamb"

Eren games. ik this sounds like such a cop out answer but cmon...that dude would have streamy-worthy rage-quits, the best lives, and the most entertaining streams

he would repost all the edits people make of him

he moves to twitch after a while on youtube

all of his fans swear hes fine but everyone who's not is like "yeah hes like a 6"

he rarely collabs with anyone but when he does its always with either mikasa or armin who beat his ass, or connie just bc he loves connie

he HATES horror games and his subs know it so they always request those games and 9 times out of 10 he ends up crying

Mikasa: "wiccanest"

she does manifestation and spirituality stuff

she helps all her baby witches and is EXTREMELY avid about doing things the right way so her subs dont get hurt

she looks scary in her thumbnails but shes actually the softest person to ever exist in her vids

her cats are almost always featured in her videos. their names are keyboard and snufkin

shes also pinterest famous and uploads the most random yet aesthetic stuff

she did a gym vlog video with annie once and everyone went crazy bonkers bananas

Armin: "MinnieASMR"

an asmrist and i will die on this hill

he gives out studying tips on there too and does "study with me :)" videos

he did a mukbang once and never again because connie was in his comments like "ZAMN DADDY LOOKS GOOD WHILE HE MONCHIN??😍😍😍" & "THAT CRUNCH AT 8:29 IM ABT TO BUST A NUT😩"

does tiktok lives but falls asleep on them

choked on his water one time while the mic was at full vol still and woke up a good 2/3rds of his streamers

does the best energy plucks

Connie: "conman reacts"

a react channel

hes like coryxkenshin, but he only plays games with eren

hes actually really funny though, and he does a lot of streams so he can interact with people, and he also has a podcast that he hosts with sasha and jean

actually threw up on camera when someone asked if he and sasha were dating (that was the day they both came out LMFAO)

he is strong asf in every single try not to laugh challenge but the SECOND he hears "wenomechainsama" or any low quality meme and he loses it

he and mr beast did a video together once and connie blew a coke up in his face. he was not invited back

Annie: "Annie's How To's"

self defense videos and life inspiration

posts maybe once every four months because she forgets that she has a channel

got acrylics PURELY to show people with long nails how to knock a motherfucker out

actually ended up liking them and gets them when shes not filming

sometimes appears in mikasas videos to do yoga with her

has little 8-minute mindfulness videos

Sasha: "sasha.b"

sasha doesn't do food videos bc im tired of always seeing her with food shit, so i say she does a brittany broski type thing where she literally just does the most unhinged and wild shit whenever and its funny as hell

connie is her sarah schauer and jean is her bestie taylor

shes gone on literally so many podcast episodes and just gets drunk while telling literally the most outrageous stories from her childhood

was a born and raised tennessee girlie that moved to chicago

is mikasas roommate and photobombs her videos almost constantly, but just with a little wave

obsesses over medias and just will not stop talking about it for weeks on end and then moves on in a blink

Jean & Marco: "Jean & Marco V.S. The Paranormal"

they are literally buzzfeed unsolved

jean does not believe in ghosts. marco very much does and says his Catholic Prayers at least thrice in each video

jean twerked for annabelle and she threatened to brutally kill both of them

marcos super respectful and is always like "the dress you have in this picture is just lovely" and jeans like "first of all...youuurrreee nothing but a trashy hoe." and then gets surprised when the ghost targets him

marco fell through a haunted bar's roof and started singing "the lord is my shepherd" and jean stopped himself mid rescue to laugh

a rumor got started that marco was actually dead and a ghost and there is now a national funeral day for marco in the "Jean & Marco V.S. The Paranormal" fandom

Hange: "Science Rulez"

an account purely for middle school science teachers

theyre an actual scientist not just a youtuber but on their off days because they love their job so much they'll do tiny little videos

they are VERY passionate about teaching biology in schools

they have pet turtles and ferrets that they heavily feature and call them their "assistants" (moblit has a "hey, im right here!" voice bite that they usually play)

moblit is their begrudging camera and light man because he just wants to be able to go on vacation with them on their time off

hange covers EVERYTHING from astronomy to fucking quantum physics and always gets comments about how they changed students whole grades and they ALWAYS respond and/or like

[twinksintrees]

Please tell more about your playlists! I've been listening to some of them and I'm rll curious about why you put certain songs in playlists and ur anlysises on them!

thank you for the ask!! Bc this ended being way longer than I thought it would be, I’m only going to be focusing on one playlist here, but I will write up similar post for most of my other playlists as well. Today we will be focusing on my Glenn Close playlist.

Edit: a link to the playlist has been added below bc I forgot to put that in when I first posted lmao

Analysis under the cut

Carry on my wayward son: this might be one of the simplest to explain, and its because the cast themselves have joked and talked about how this song fits glenn, even going so far as to make the title to one of the most important glenn centric episodes. It has to be on there imo.

Highway to hell: this one is also simple to explain, glenn became a demon and went through his owm highway to hell, as it were. It also fits into his dad rock theme, as does carry on my wayward son.

I miss having sex but at least i dont want to die anymore: i dont have a real reason for this one honestly, i think i heard this song on a random playlist and it made me think of glenn? I think theres a version of glenn in my head that lives as a human and goes back to the human realm as normal with the other dads and this would be from his pov after he grows and gets older and does some healing i guess?? It doesn’t make a lot of sense ik.

Anna sun: this is one of the songs most closely (heh) associated with glenn in my head. This song makes me think of young glenn, fresh after morgan died, being left with a 7 y/o Nick and no idea how to cope with either of their grief. The chorus of “this house is falling apart” sung with more and more intensity makes me envision a scene where its young glenn, standing in a small, lonely apartment holding a tiny nick in his arms as he looks around, no idea what to do without his wife and best friend here to help him. The lyrics “we got no money, but we got heart” make me think of glenn, failing rockstar, determined to make a way for himself and for his son.

Sickly sweet holidays: i found this one on another glenn playlist, and the christmas theme was perfect, but also, the lyrics “im crying every day, i wish that you were here, when christmas comes this time each year” are so heartbreaking applied to him and morgan if its him singing that after shes gone.

Last christmas: it fit the christmas theme and i just liked the jimmy eat world version lmao.

Home: this song. just breaks me. The pain and the heartbreak and the tragedy of losing someone you care so deeply about just is glenn with morgan. The lyrics “and i got mad when they said that you weren't coming back to me, cause i hate hearing the truth” are crushing in this case especially because glenn does hate hearing the truth. He’s the type of person who avoids his problems until they slap him in the face. He does that with his grief, doesnt acknowledge his or his son’s pain, and it isnt good for him. For either of them.

Ghost of york: this song is on the playlist solely because it slaps and because of the lyrics “and from the corner of my eye/i saw you dressed all in white/i saw you pass right by/maybe i had too much wine/you never said goodbye” for me, this song speaks to a sad, depressed glenn mourning his wife and drowning his pain with drink, wishing he just had the chance to say goodbye one more time.

Afraid: “when i wake i'm afraid somebody else might take my place” i mean, this literally happened with him and jodie. The chorus is glenn talking shit about jodie. “It hurts but i wont fight you” is glenn accepting jodie as Nick’s new father.

Pope is a rockstar: i dont care i dont care if the lyrics are ‘pope is a rockstar’ Glenn sang ‘go little rockstar’ to nick when he was young and you can't change my mind.

Never love an anchor: oooohh boy. Oh boy. Pain. let's go. With the first lyrics alone “on some level i think i always understood/that these hands of mine were clumsy not clever/and i tried to do the best that i could/ but try as i might i could not bring myself to hold you” this is a very glenn song. Glenn Close was not meant to be a father, no matter how much he loved his son. In fact, with the next set of lyrics we’ll be looking at “a ship could never really love an anchor/so i did the only thing that i could/and severed the rope that set you sailing from my harbor” they can be tied directly to him making the choice to let nick go at the trial. “There are times when i still wonder about you/you are someone i have loved but never known” glenn still loves nick, but that's not the same nick he raised. He is someone glenn has loved, but never truly known after the swap with jodie. “You’ll never see the reasons i had/for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you” nick will never really know the choice, the sacrifice glenn made when he called for the switch. He will never know the pain glenn saved him from losing two parents. “I am selfish i am broken i am cruel” represents all of glenns self hatred and negativity. I think at certain points pf the podcast he genuinely believes all of those things about himself. “I am all the things they might have said to you” is glenn being terrified nick will end up exactly like him and so deeply hoping he doesn't.

The light behind your eyes: this song is from glenn’s pov in prison. “If i could be with you tonight/i would sing you to sleep/never let them take the light behind your eyes” the idea of him being able to get out and sing this for his friends around a campfire, or sing this softly to his son one last time keeps him going. “I failed and lost this fight/never fade in the dark/just remember you will always burn as bright” is glenn literally losing the court case and getting sentenced to the prison, he is the one fading in the dark, and the only thing keeping him going is the memory, the brightness, of his friends and of his son. I also think glenn sang this to nick as a lullaby when he was a little kid.

Death as a fetish: this song also represents glenns incredibly negative internal voice. The repetition of “i will never be good enough” is all of his internal thoughts that he will never open up about or share with anyone.

The soccer journals: read for a better explanation below

Hey there delilah: read the post linked below for an explanation. @that-one-queer-punk pointed this one out to me and actually wrote a fic based on it, and I’ve linked it below if you wanna check it out, it’s good shit.

Cold cold man: this for me is young glenn when he and morgan are just starting to get together. He’s very devoted to her and he truly believes “the only bed worth sleeping’s the one right next to you” he can appear to be smooth, suave guy who sleeps around, but he honestly enjoys a monogamous relationship and would never betray her that way.

Therapy: glenn needs therapy. Plain and simple.

[biggest-stupidhead]

Heyy!!

I dont think there's such think as semen donors in aot cannon?

BUT WHAT IF Captain Levi agrees to be the donor to squad leader (or just cadet) reader in a platonic relationship/eventual romance?

Just cute ackerbabies!

Lmao you’re probably right, no semen donors in canonverse. But I honestly love this idea so much, I feel like it would be hard for Levi to make that romantic connection so I could see him making that choice, and maybe it developing into something more!

Summary: Levi can’t wait any longer to start a family, and you are willing to take that step with him.

Word Count: 1.7K

__

You choked on the small sip of tea that you had taken. Catching the small drops of liquid that had escaped your lips.

“Come again now?” You managed to form words after a moment, Levi seemed uninterested as always, those charcoal grey eyes dull and apathetic.

“You heard me just fine, you know that I hate repeating myself.” He scoffed as he shifted so that his leg was crossed over his opposite knee,

“Yes I heard you but....marriage?” You were shocked to say the least. Levi had never shown any prior interest in any long term relationship with anyone, although the two of you had hooked up a handful of times.

“I don’t see why not. We already share a room, not to mention that we-”

“Okay I get it, just...it’s a big commitment and I’m not sure that I’m-”

“Oh please, what else do we have to look forward to anymore? No more fighting, no more political issues to deal with might as well settle down and...” He trailed off, his gaze cast downwards into his cup of tea, which was probably cold by now. You sighed deeply, placing your cup down gently and leaning back into the sofa that the two of you were seated on. His arm was slung casually across the back of the sofa, his finger tips ghosting over your shoulder.

“I know but Levi...marriage?” you were a bit disappointed. He had said it so casually, as if he was asking you if you wanted to run to the market to grab apples.

“If you don’t want to then just say no.” He snapped, clearly getting frustrated, he rose to his feet and began to march towards his desk. You chased after him, catching his wrist. You knew it was difficult for him to express himself, to put things lightly or being considerate to your feelings.

“It’s not that...I’m just a little caught off guard.” You admitted as you held his wrist gently. He let out a breath that he had seemed to have been holding in, he turned and laced his fingers through yours, his other hand diving into his pant pocket. You waited patiently for him to say something, but he only pulled out a small black box. Your heart skipped a beat, this was more how you had pictured being proposed to. He fell onto his knee and opened the box slowly, revealing a modest silver ring with a small diamond embedded in the ring.

“Oh Levi...” Your fingers were still laced with his as he knelt down, you squeezed his hand affectionately.

“I already bought the damn ring, just say yes.” He grunted, averting his gaze as his thumb glided over your knuckle.

“You have a point there.” You chuckled as you gave him a small nod, which was enough of a yes for him.

__

You were married by the end of the month, a simple court house wedding with Armin and Mikasa as your witnesses. Afterwards you had gone home and eaten dinner as usual. Just another week, except now the sex that you and Levi occasionally had, became a hell of a lot more regular. You had no complaints, or at least that was until you were hunched over the kitchen sink puking your guts out. You had missed your period as well, and it didn’t take a genius to know what that meant. You decided to wait until you were certain to tell anyone this however, seeing how difficult pregnancy could be, and the unlikeliness of carrying to full term seemed high.

So you made sure to go to the doctor twice before telling Levi that you were pregnant. He’d had a very similar reaction that you’d had when he had asked to marry you.

He choked on his tea, his hand flying to his chin to catch the liquid.

“Pregnant?” He repeated, and you nodded, leaning against the table where he was sitting.

“H-How long until...”

“Give or take seven months.” You shrugged, trying to put on a brave face, after seeing how frazzled he was you wanted to make this as casual as the rest of your relationship.

“So...we should probably start cleaning out that spare room and-” You cut him off by kneeling down and placing a chaste kiss to his lips.

“We’ve got plenty of time for that, for now let’s just...enjoy not being responsible for a helpless shitty baby.” You said softly as you slowly sank onto his lap. He hummed his approval, but still seemed rightfully on edge.

“We can start cleaning the room in few weeks, there’s no rush.” You assured him as you scattered kisses across his sour face.

“I’ll start tomorrow.” Levi hummed as he tilted his head to the side.

__

Turned out that you were both in way over your head. Around 12 weeks into your pregnancy Hange was pressing her stethoscope to your rapidly swelling belly when she froze. Levi tensed when he noticed this, and you frowned.

“What is it?” Levi asked as he gripped the back of the exam table.

“Nothing’s wrong...just-”

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.” Levi scowled as he watched Hange continue to feel around your stomach.

“That’s cause it isn’t nothing, I’m hearing two heart beats.” Hange told you as she stood to her full height.

“Two heart beats?” You felt feint at the news, you had known that twins ran in your family but you had never expected to have them yourself.  

“Yes, it appears that you are having twins” Hange said with a wide smile as she folded up the stethoscope. Your vision blurred, the worry that you had been experiencing prior to the appointment had doubled along with the number of children you were having. 

“No shit.” Levi replied breathily as he held your shoulder firmly. 

“If I were you guys I’d go clean out that room now.” Hange advised as she cleaned up the space that you had been using as a makeshift exam room in her office. 

“I’ll get right on that.” Levi said, shooting you a concerned look as he helped you up onto your feet. 

__

The twins were born premature, the labor itself wasn’t nearly as bad as you had expected. But you realized that it wasn’t that bad because of how small they were. The only reason that they both survived was thanks to the Marleyan medical equipment that had been shipped over courtesy of Zeke and Yelena. You and Levi spent countless hours in the hospital as you awaited for the twins to be discharged. In that window of time you decided on names, it was difficult but you decided on Harrison and Harper. You weren’t surprised to find that they both took after their father, dark bluish grey eyes with a full head of black hair. The one thing they seemed to have gotten from you was your facial structure and your complexion. 

It was a massive relief to bring them home, now instead of staying up until the wee hours in the hospital you could do it in the comfort of your own home. 

One particular evening you were walking laps with Harrison, gently patting his back as you bounced off of your heels as he cried. On your third lap around the entire cottage, you peeked into the nursery to see Levi reclined on the rocker with Harper fast asleep. His eyes were closed, his naked chest rising and falling evenly as he slept. You envied him as you rubbed circles on Harrison’s back once more. His cries slowly died out and you managed to drag yourself to your bed and place Harrison down gently. Using the extra pillows, you managed to make a small barrier between him and yourself as well as the edge of the bed. It wasn’t often that you got to do this, seeing as you usually slept with Levi. But Harrison seemed content with laying in his dad’s spot for the night. His big blue eyes were watching your hair sway over his face as you adjusted the pillows. He cooed and babbled for a few minutes before falling silent, his tiny breaths putting you at ease. 

It couldn’t have been but an hour later when the sound of Harper crying woke you once more. Levi was pacing around the same way that you had been earlier before he finally managed to put her at ease. He returned to your room to see you sitting up, Harrison fast asleep at your side. 

“Care to join us?” You asked, voice gruff with sleep, or rather the lack there of. 

“Would I ever.” Levi groaned as he placed Harper in the pillow barrier with Harrison who was still fast asleep. He managed to squeeze onto the bed, laying on his side like you were as the two of you watched Harper sooth herself into sleep. His gaze left the small baby in favor of studying your features. 

“What would you have done if I had never asked you to marry me?” The question caught you off guard, your fingers were tracing the soft features of your babies. You hummed in thought but the answer was already on the tip of your tongue. 

“I’d have asked you to marry me.” You said with a wry smile and Levi rolled his eyes at your cheesy reply. 

“That’s not what I meant...well not really.” Levi grumbled, you paused again in thought. What would you have done? Certainly no more military work, that chapter was over for you. 

“Maybe I’d open a bakery. My grandmother left me all of her recipes. What would you do?” You asked, finger running along the soft dark locks of hair that were growing from Harrison’s head. 

“I’d open a tea shop.” Levi answered quickly, his own gaze back on the babies, his hand resting on Harper’s stomach, rising and falling with her breathing. 

“Why don’t we just say fuck it and do it?” You asked, not sure if you were serious or if it was the lack of sleep talking. 

“There was that space for lease last time we went into town...” Levi offered thoughtfully. 

“Yeah, we could fix it up and open a cafe.” You said excitedly as you leaned over the sleeping babies in hopes of coaxing a kiss from Levi. He nodded in agreement before leaning over and planting a kiss to your lips. 

“We’ll talk about it in the morning. Go to sleep.” Levi sighed as he stretched out on his side, and closing his eyes. You smiled and mirrored him, your hand resting on Harrison’s stomach now as well, your fingertips brushing his. 

You knew that you’d made the right choice. Marrying Levi was the best decision that you’d made in a long time. It may not look like the typical love story, but you knew that it was real, realer than most relationships. And you wouldn’t want to have it with anyone else. 

[spicy-tomato]

Hello can you do a post about maybe Swaggersouls when he thinks that the reader is bored of him. When she actually was only with zuckles on some party and he thought he was with someone else because she didn't answer the phone. (the battery died) some angst please also have a nice day.

okay lets go boys! this isnt nsfw but its long so im gonna do a keep reading cut. mentions of drug use and alcohol so be warned

You and swagger had been together for about a year now and with his revent streaming schedule it was getting harder and harder to spend time with him. That doesnt mean you dont love him, you just wished he would spend some time with you instead of you falling asleep in an empty bed while he streams. A few days ago you had been invited to a party with mason, so you decided why not? Maybe itll cheer you up after months of going to sleep alone and waking up to a still cold bed. You kept trying to tell swagger but he would just brush you off, so you said fuck it and went.

Zuckles

You here yet cunt?

You sigh and text him back a quick yes before walking in and spotting him. It wasnt a huge party but there were a good few people there, most drinking or smoking on the porch as you smiles and made your way through the crowd.

“Took you long enough! I set up some shots for us” you smile as he passes you a shot glass and you down it quickly. He drags you to the kitchen and sets up more shots. You and him down them quickly before grabbing some beers and moving to the smoke circle, passing the bong in a circle until someone tapped out.

“Thanks for inviting me mase, this is a nice break from whats happening” you sigh and drink more of you beer, finishing it off before standing up. “Do you want anything? Im gonna go grab another beer.” mason shakes his head and you head back to the kitchen and grab a beer before stopping and looking at the table. You see a few bottles of fancy liquor and decide to get some of those instead. Grabbing a cup you mix three of the bottles and drink some. It burns your throat and you gag a little before walking back, determined to finish it and get fucked up. With half the cup down, mason takes it from you with a worried look. “I think youve had enough of that, youre definitely not driving hand me your keys.” you sigh and hand him your bag, dropping your phone in the process to see 15 missed calls from swagger.

“Oh shit” you pick up your phone and rush to the bathroom to call him back.

“Where the fuck are you i was so worried are you okay?” he answers the phone with an anxious tone.

“Like you fucking care, you always choose yours streams over me.” you slur, tears forming in your eyes. Its like i dont exist to you anymore! Im so sick of falling asleep in an empty bed, only having bear there to cuddle. I go to bring you lunch and you tell me to set it on the desk and leave! I feel more like a maid than a partner now!” at this point you were almost sobbing.

“Where are you, im coming to get you.” you sniffle at his answer.

“Im not telling you, i tried to tell you for the past two days but you kept blowing me off, why should you care now?” your face is red and puffy at this point, not sure if youre crying from sadness or anger at this point. “At least mase cares enough to ask how im doing! He took my keys so i cant drive like this!”

“Thats where you are, ill be there in 30 minutes to get you and we can talk about this.” he hangs up and you break down in complete sobs, mason now banging on the door to check on you.

“Let me in, whats wrong?” you shakily unlock the door and he swings it open, grabbing you and pulling you into his chest. You tell him everything, how you feel more like a maid than a partner, how you always wake up without him, how he blows you off or acts like you dont exist, everything. He sighs and holds you closer, petting your hair and trying to calm you down. A slamming door can be heard as swagger gets there, moving quickly to the bathroom and shooting mason a glance that says for him to get out. He quickly stands up and leaves before swagger shuts the door and sits next to you.

“Let me explain...i felt like you were getting sick of me and got scared. I thought if i distanced myself it would hurt less when you ended it. I feel like i havent been enough for you over the past year and i thought you figured that out, that you were going to leave me. I never wanted to hurt you like this i just figured it would be easier for me if i did that.” he sighs and moves a hand to your cheek.

“Why didnt you just talk to me? Why just up and ignore me? I felt like a ghost in our own home” you wipe your eyes and look at him sadly.

“I dont know, i was scared of facing you and hearing you say it to my face. Please, just let me take you home and make it up to you. Let me take care of you through your hangover and take you to breakfast. Let me win you over like the first time again.” you sniffle and smile at him.

“Fine, but i wont be easy to impress this time.” he chuckles and helps you stand up, one arm around your waist to keep you upright as he leads you to the car.

“Ill shoot mason a text and tell him to drop your stuff by the apartment tomorrow.” you nod and step into the car, moving to hold his hand. He quickly accepts and starts a drive home. You start to fall asleep on the way back and once home, he picks you up, carrying you to the bedroom and laying you down softly before crawling up next to you. He moves the covers over the both of you before pulling you to his chest and kissing your head.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” you mumble back half awake.

“Ill never hurt you again”

[mde1011]

when i got into the dsmp i started a note and wrote down any quotes or moments i thought were funny, and im bored at 3 am so enjoy some of them

how is being arrested real? just walk away!!!”

⁃ “once an american always an american. go...go protests masks...or something”

⁃ “...yEAH BUT DID YOU HAVE WAP” “what’s...whats wap?” “...WORSHIP AND PRAYER”

⁃ “HOW DO YOU LIKE POLITICS MOTHERFUCKER”

⁃ “i’m naked” “...no you’re not” “i can be...”

⁃ “uhhhh i’m in a high stress situation....i deal with these poorly”

⁃ “i should go first i’m naked”

⁃ “yEAHHHH WE KILLED AN OLD MAN WITH HEART PROBLEMS”

⁃ “what are you going to do?” “i...have no idea i think i’m gonna start out by punching a tree”

⁃ “tOmmy...did i just hear you say shit ass looking mofo?”

⁃ “i aM gOinG to gEt nAkeD to iNtiMidAtE HiM”

- “...i want freedom !” “you want BALLS.”

⁃ “...down the line. yeah that’s where we discover the art of cannibalism” “oh it’s an art?” “it’s an art”

⁃ “oh there’s some logs here. wonder what they’re saying to me. uh huh. uh huh. oh yeah that’s very racist” “tommy you gotta burn those logs.” “burn ‘em before they spread their racism to other logs”

⁃ “are you pooing?” “*whisper* i’m charging up-““ “he’s ejaculating on the tent.” “he’s WHAT?”

⁃ “he’s sPEEDING. LOOK HOW FAST HES GOING” “i’ve taken so many drugs. someone tell badboyhalo”

⁃ “we should make a pact. and that pact is, uh, we make a book...and in that book...we declare that saying ‘muffin’ is a, is a slur”

⁃ “i was thinking what if one day your bladder just,,,,stopped working.....AGGGFFFFF i was tHINKING ABOUT THAT THE OTHER DAY IVE GOT TO PREPARE IVE GOT YO PREPARE thisiswhydiapersaintthatbad”

⁃ <sapnap> i think i was ordered to um

<tommyinnit> boobed

<sapnap> kill you

<tommyinnit> boobs

<sapnap> if this happens

<tommyinnit> think about boobs man

<sapnap> tsk tsk tommy

<tommyinnit> iM DISGRUNTLED

⁃ “why is this deadman so good at making drugs”

⁃ “i just learnt that a girl hero is called a heroine and it freaked me out”

⁃ “memento memento me-“ “that’s actually the worst word i know so you can’t keep saying that” “oh, really.....? have you ever heard the term ‘racist’?”

⁃ “the person who invented the phrase ‘be yourself’ hadn’t met you!”

⁃ “you seem like the type of guy whose dad would throw him overboard as a joke but he would just drown”

⁃ “shout out to dream for twerking!”

⁃ “let’s talk......let’s talk about sex” “wonderful. what do you think about sex, lazarbeam?” “i ain’t saying SHIT in front of a sixteen year old”

⁃ “what the- i think i’m seeing things” “....tommy i told you not to drink the sea water” “well i DID drink the sea water because it TOLD ME TO”

⁃ “it’s like the movie when that guy gets stranded on an island and has sex with a coconut” “whAT?? dream- dream, you vastly misinterpreted this” “it one hundred percent does”

⁃ “oh mastICATE.....isn’t that when a fish turns inside out?”

⁃ “what are some bad words YOU know, clay?” “i don’t-“ “what about ‘terrorist’?”

⁃ “my mind has to be on the same frequency as jesus when he walked on water”

⁃ “you wanna know why i was late?” “no i really do-“ “i was having a MASSIVE poo. really just a HUGE poo”

⁃ “jUST CUZ YOU TALK ABOUT POO ONCE AND THEN YOU SEE A BIG GREEN BASTARD AMD YOUR LIFE IS FLASHING BEFORE YOUR EYES AND THEN YOU CANT REMEMBER- YOU CANT REMEMBER IF IT WAS YESTERDAY OR TOMORROW YOU HURT THAT WOMAN”

⁃ “i love america. mmmmm patriotism

⁃ “LIFE IS NOT A HAPPY SONG KERMIT THE FROG”

⁃ “please stop taking the cock”

⁃ “two four six eight who do we appreciate? not the government let’s gooooooo”

⁃ “oooo look at the dogs😍” “wHAAAAAT. WHAT. THERES ACTUALLY LIKE. A MILLION DOGS HERE. WHAT THE HELL.”

⁃ “yeahhhhh bitch i stab- i don’t stab women-“ “woooooooah tommy you stab women?” “heyyyy sapnap”

⁃ “do you know what happens whne you reach the top of the ladder? there’s only one place to go.” “.....side to side😨” “down.” “...i really thought you were gonna say side to side🥺”

⁃ “one last time.” “just like in hamilton😓”

⁃ “you don’t know how many times i’ve mistaken trees for hot women”

⁃ “ i don’t feel better i just destroyed penis”

⁃ “i’ve never seen a snail with bad morals”

⁃ “awwwwwwww😢 i’m doin’ drugs🤧 just like the good ol’ days😓” “.....define the ‘good old days’” “back when i did drugs”

⁃ “have you ever fought a baby? i have and it was trivially easy to defeat, phil.”

⁃ “the only other i egg i know about was the one i learnt about in school....not allowed to say which one....”

⁃ “did you know one of my new years resolutions is to be more like 2010 justin bieber?”

⁃ “apparently cats don’t lay eggs”

⁃ “thinking about trees- if i saw a tree with a beard mmmmmm...holy shit id hit it”

⁃ “we’re in hell dude. science doesn’t matter here”

⁃ “i cant die i cant die i’m GOD”

⁃ “hey pig your letter is the same as pussy, hmm?”

⁃ “are we cool are we COOL guys? CRYSTAL COOL like CRYSTAL METH”

⁃ “he- he’s crying because - because i killed his mother isn’t that right? mother dearest mother deadest mother gonest”

⁃ “bro ive been drinking since i was six and let me tell you...it’s not good to be drinking that young. led to some poor life decisions when i was 8” “what did you do” “i cant say” “...who did you hurt” “....only myself”

⁃ “je suis” “ay i know what that mean you prick” “what does it mean” “it means you’re racist dickhead”

⁃ “i’d never poo in the presence of a women- which is why i’m scared to get a girlfriend i think i’d just explode”

⁃ “biff tannen is one of my idols”

⁃ “black widow died and i thought ‘wow it should’ve been the man’ because he’s a man”

⁃ “there’s a character called captain america and i think he’s stupid”

⁃ “i’m a GOOD LAD i’ve got GOOD MORALS and if i’ve DONE SOMETHING WRONG it WASNT MY FAULT I JUST GOT A LITTLE EXCITED”

⁃ “sam....what’s the longest you’ve ever wiped your arse? for me it’s 48 minutes”

⁃ “why are you standing in the shitter?” “....that’s a SINK” “uhhh welllll” “hAVE YOU SHAT IN THE SINK?????”

⁃ “you’re like a living ghost” “...i think that’s called a human, tubbo”

⁃ “maybe i accidentally kill ranboo and we just never see him again *laughs* ay? and then i go ‘april foooools!!!’ and then i kill their child. i kill him”

⁃ “you built a penis” “it’s a PENIS OF SAFETY”

⁃ “i saw the penis of safety and i pressed mouse button four my friend”

⁃ “the penis on the other side of the river is larger” “ive heard that before....”

⁃ “you’ve turned the penis into a wall” “a wall of safety is better than a penis of safety” “i think the penis was better”

⁃ “if you wanna make a penis i know where we can make a penis and i know how big we can make it”

⁃ “i don’t conceptualize death but i think i just saw it!”

⁃ “yeah i- yeah i know i’m- my first impression on eret was making him read a shrek fan fiction so- i’m not one for first impressions”

⁃ “i-i’m scared for him- i’m scared OF him. yknow the first thing he did when he saw me was imMEDIATELY strip down then jump off then immediately die?”

⁃ “where are you?” “getting stabbed, one second”

⁃ “you’ve seen the joker?” “yea-“ “i resonate a lot with that man” “...oH. oh. that’s- that’s not-“

⁃ “he bURNT DOWN MY HOUSE” “out of LOVE”

⁃ “ohhhh my god stop making me play with the neighbor kid” “o-okay if you don’t go play with him i’m kicking you out of the house-“ “wHAT THE FUCK???”

⁃ “there’s a STRIP CLUB” “oh yeah for wood!” “are you into strippers?” “i mean all it does is make the wood look different so....yeah it doesn’t really do much”

⁃ “no no we have categories, we have the poo-saster- you might have to take a shower after-“ “no, no i’m gonna stop you right there”

⁃ “as i was saying you can have a 1-to-3 wiper, that’s an A-tier poo, my friend”

⁃ “i want you to eat your sock”

⁃ “you know i’m a child- i’m a minor” “sO AM I DICKHEAD”

⁃ “everyone is calling you dresus” “yeah i am”

⁃ “ayyyy ayyyy los DROGAS LOS DROGAS” “no no big q- she’s thirteen- how does this happen with every 13 year old girl you meet?”

⁃ “my poo has muscles like i do”

⁃ “i cant hear the words among us without crying they��ll say there are aliens among us and in the back youll just hear me *choking noises*”

⁃ “tubbo...tubbo is like...tubbo is like mary” “.....did you just call me the Virgin Mary?”

⁃ “i’m just saying, have you ever seen me and jesus in the same room?”

⁃ “do you smoke sam” “all the time”

⁃ “i thought you were talking about the- the speeeeed drug”

⁃ “have you ever sold drugs to kids sam?” “......no”

⁃ “we can’t let the girlboss rule because she will gatekeepe my feelings” “that would not be good”

⁃ “THEY DIDNT INVITE ME TO KILL ME???? NOW I HAVE FOMO”

⁃ “you have obviously taken part in scientology-“ “i have not-“ “you’ve donated to tom cruises cult shit”

⁃ “....am i worse than david dobrik?” “are- are we worse than david dobrik?” “oh- oh god”

⁃ “he has broke one of the rules of the hit best seller ‘the bible’- this kind of looks like a cock”

⁃ “well i’ve moved now, KING”

⁃ “what is an angsty teen and am i one? because when i USED to hang out with my friends they use the word angst a lot”

⁃ “yeah yeah yeah i bench”

⁃ “sam i think i’m angsty i think i’m an angsty tik tok teen looking for a community to help me out”

⁃ “i don’t think you’ve followed the train of logic all the way-“ “there’s a TRAIN INVOLVED????????”

⁃ “i’m like the orange fucker from that animated rom com”

⁃ “i’m under the influence of big cock”

⁃ “it’s meeee big cock man”

⁃ “i cant look away” “sam please use your twitter alt for this” “he’s horny on maaaainnnnn” “and what’s wrong with that?” “.......”

⁃ “you’re a FUCKING IDIOT” “IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT, BIG COCK”

⁃ “i’m gonna call you ‘cockity’ big cock” “sHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP-“

⁃ “STOP LOOKING AT IT” “ITS SO VIBRANT”

⁃ “at least this guy doesn’t have a cock-“ “itS NOT A COCK” “horny on main jesus-“

⁃ “is that a cock” “SHUT THE FUCK UP”

⁃ “.....i wanna see the inside of it again do a split”

⁃ “okay sam-“ “tommy that guy wants your cock-“ “no- no he doesn’t sam”

⁃ “sam, sam and i need you to hear this....dont. act. up.” “i don’t act up-“ “you were acting up-“ “i-“ “you were caught in 8k.” “but- but we both agree it’s not a tie-“

⁃ “please don’t tell me to kill cockity i am overwhelmed”

⁃ “why is there an anus in my tie?”

⁃ “what are the legal implications of this?” “...i mean besides hell you’re good”

⁃ “whatre the legal implications?” “i mean usually that’s a no-no but today, today it’s fine” “yeahhh lets go murder his family”

⁃ “i’d be an antivax landlord”

⁃ “jesus never does drugs” “well- well you turned water into wine king and wine is alcohol”

⁃ “can you put on pants i can’t- i cant stop looking at it- sorry tommy i know you said-“ “yeah sam i know you tried-“

⁃ “you know i fuck with satan”

⁃ “i’m sorry jesus lucifer is just such a good man-“ “oh you- hold me BACK FROM THIS FUCKER HOLD ME BACK ILL SEND HIM TO HELL YOU LIKE HELL-“

⁃ “are you jesus or just a man who grew a beard and put on a suit?”

⁃ “even the guy with his cock out is telling you to stop-“ “oh jesus, and i mean jesus-“ “shUT THE FUCK UP MAN”

⁃ “the best best way to slander him is to stop his offspring; we need to kick him the balls.....no? not a good....? alright us four each take a ball-“

⁃ “......why did jesus give him four scrotums man🙁🙁”

[miraeluc]

you have an anxiety attack

prompt: “after a long day you’re just trying to cook for you and your roommate, but when you accidentally switch salt and sugar the stress dawns upon you and you lose it.”

pairing: kaeya x gender-neutral reader

warnings: description of an anxiety attack, explicit language

word count: 1.6k

genre: fluff, angst

rough day? 

no

roughest of the rough 

it started in the morning - all was good until you were all dressed and ready to go

all you needed to do was brush your teeth

of course you dropped toothpaste on your new blouse and had to change because your boss would literally kill you if you strutted in there with toothpaste stains on your clothing 

that didn’t upset you too much anyway,, yep, it kinda sucks but it is what it is

you went to work

that’s when it started to REALLY go downhill

first, you had to sit your ass in this tiny cubicle all day and it remained right on that chair every time you stood up

that’s what it felt like at least

then, you lost data that you’ve been working on for a MONTH

an entire month’s worth data!!!! LOST!!!!

curse you and your issue with forgetting where you put your folders

so you started over

was it worth it? 

no

your boss hated it

you ended up dropping the project overall,, handed it over to a co-worker

your excuse was that you felt too ‘unfit’ for the whole project and he would totally be a better fit!

poor bennett 

bennett is a nice guy, you always hang out with him during break

you usually talk shit about the other co-workers and he just listens and sits there like ◕ ◡ ◕

he’s just there for the food you bring him, really 

he’s a little dumb so he took the project from you with no hesitation

“i’ll do it for you, dont even worry about it, y/n!”

you ended up working overtime 

you had about 7 projects to finish until tomorrow morning and they were all only half-done 

so you got your coffee, turned off your phone and got to work

you finished at 9pm

your work hours are 8am-5:30pm

nope, not having a great time 

well, at least you can go home now!

you pack up your stuff and get up, leaving this hellhole of an office, stretching as you wait for the elevator before checking your phone to see 7 missed calls from your roommate

aka kaeya

aka boy that is most likely emotionally unavailable

aka boy that KEEPS TURNING OFF THE HEATERS TO LEAVE YOU TO FREEZE

his excuse is always that he can’t handle the warmth but you’re sure its so you whine about the cold so he can hug you to warm you up

maybe you have a teeny tiny crush on him???? BUT WHO CAN BLAME YOU 

he’s a whole package - the only thing he’s lacking is emotional availability lmao

which is why you never mentioned the day by day blooming feelings you’ve been developing for him

there would be no positive outcome from you telling him. he would politely turn you down, having to explain yet again that he doesn’t see himself having actual romantic feelings to someone 

you’re content with your current relationship with him

right?

kaeya is known as the fuckboy! of the city

neither of you mind, he’s having his fun

and you know that there’s much more to it 

you’re very happy to have gained his trust enough for him to let his flirty side down when with you, at least

well, there’s no time to ponder over your relationship with him because you’re already sprinting to catch the last bus of the day

right as you got to the station it drove away

fuck

what now?

you have to walk home. alone. in the dark.

oh well. 

usually bennett drives you home but obviously he left earlier

its only a 15 minute walk you can do it

it’s not that bad there’s street lamps hey!

not that bad until it starts to rain, apparently

by the time you get home there’s water in places rainwater shouldn’t be

kaeya is running by the time he hears the front door

“where were you??”

“why didn’t you reply to my calls??”

“do you have a slight idea about how worried i w-”

he stops when he sees your soaked figure and tired expression

“oh, y/n, what happened?” 

he immediately helped you chuck off your wet coat and shoes 

“i worked overtime and missed the last bus so i had to walk home”, you sighed

he nodded and hummed “Go ahead and take a shower then, wouldn’t want you to get sick now, would we?” he winked

you scoffed but nodded anyway

 “yeah, especially in this coLD FUCKING APARTMENT BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO LET THE HEATERS TURNED ON-”

you only heard him laugh before shutting the door in the bathroom and jumping into the shower, needing to warm up because you were sure your toes were about to fall off from the cold

at least the shower went well

:///

you got dressed in lounge attire when you got out of the shower, walking to the kitchen because you were very hungry

you gave bennett all your food today so you didnt have any left

he just looked so hungry

ANYWAYS

you’re in the kitchen, deciding on what to cook

if you ask kaeya he will tell you to just drink wine instead so, no

you kind of want something sweet so you decide to bake cupcakes

kaeya shows up too

“what’re you baking?”

he sat and watched as you gathered all the ingredients you need

“cupcakes. how was your day?”

you strike up a conversation - all you talked about today was work and you need some decent interaction, plus kaeya is a super nice talk partner

“good. i had a day-off today so i layed in bed all day”

you hummed, stirring the eggs and flour 

“how come? you never get off”

“no reason, i was forcibly given a day off- well anyways, what i wanted to tell you about before you worried me because i thoght you were deAD when you didn’t respond, is that i need your help setting up a date for diluc-”

you stopped listening halfway

you were looking at the unopened sugar bag on the counter

you just stirred the sugar in, why is it unopened????

you look over at the open bag of salt

wait a second 

you take out a little dough and taste it

FUCK

“hello??? earth to y/n?? are you even liste-”

he stops himself as soon as you look at him with your lower lip trembling 

uhhhhh

he’s never been in this situation

“y/n?? why are you crying-”

he looks at the counter and the dough, then he sees the salt beside the bowl you were stirring in and leans over to try some

oh, that’s why

“oh come on, is that what you’re crying over?” he snorted

he could barely catch you when you collapsed and started sobbing 

he immediately regreted what he said

“hey, y/n, it’s just a little dough! its okay-” 

you just sobbed and he sat down with you, sighing and pulling you into a tight hug

you felt your lungs constricting and your hands started shaking 

you didn’t even notice how antsy you felt all day until now

you gasped for air and he tightened his grip on you

“w-why am i so worthless?!”

you punched his chest

“i can’t do a single thi-ng with-out messing it up!”

punch

“i’m so us-useless”

punch

“i should just kill m-”

he immediately pulled away and cupped your face before you could finish what you were about to say

“y/n, look at me. you had a bad day - you’re not useless! you’re stressed out! you’re one of the most hardworking people that i know- and, and don’t you ever mention anything about killing yourself! i won’t let you go, not as long as im here”

you were too busy fighting against the constricting feeling in your lungs to notice the tear slipping down his cheek before he hugged you tightly again

your hands gripped at his tshirt

his hand rested over your shaky ones

it broke him

seeing you in such state hurt him so much, he felt his own heart breaking a little with every gasp you took 

“come on, let’s breathe together”

his voice was soft when he spoke to you

he took a deep breath in, you following

you wrapped your arms around him and leaned your head against his chest when breathing out 

hearing his heartbeat made you feel safe

he kept breathing with you until he was more than sure you could breathe comfortably again 

why did he feel like this?

sure, flirting with girls is fun 

and ghosting them is also fun

he usually doesn’t care about hurting them

but why does he feel the need to protect you from all bad things?

and why does your pain hurt him too?

he sighs and shakes his head as if that would clear his mind 

(it doesn’t)

oh well. 

taking care of your needs is more important right now

he picks you up and walks over to the couch, sitting down, placing you on his lap and hugging you 

“you’re not cooking anything, we’ll order takeout.”

you sniffled and nodded 

you did feel your heart flutter a little when he sat you down on him

he’s never done that 

you ignore it and reside into the warmth he gives instead, nuzzling your face into his chest 

he smiles softly and strokes your hair, using his free hand to type in what you were ordering

you both fell into a comfortable silence

at some point he thought you fell asleep lol

“kaeya?”

he rose his brows a little and looked down, humming

“thank you.”

additional notes: welp. this was my first drabble! it was very fun to write and i genuinely look forward to writing more! i’d appreciate it alot if you leave any feedback or even requests for drabbles :-)

[faithinthefuture28]

Larry songs timeline & what it tells us about the evolution of their relationship

**These are all just my interpretations but the more I listen to the music they wrote, the more it all fits together. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE THROUGHOUT THE YEARS THEY’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT WRITING “AUTOBIOGRAPHICALLY” AND “FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE”

I deffo missed some songs but these stood out to me:

2013

L-Strong: Love isn’t easy (waves trying to break it) but what we have means something and it’s worth fighting for. read: love is only for the brave (Think of how much love that’s been wasted...there’s nothing i’m running from...i don’t care, I’m not scared of love) And we bring out the best in each other so lets not throw this away (i’d do anything to save it...when i’m not with you i’m weaker). 

H-Happily: I want to fight for us too bc we’re on fire and our love is powerful af. ik we have to do stunts and stuff (and if (s)he feels my traces in your hair, sorry love but I don’t really care) but what we have is insane and fuck everyone else bc you’re MINE and i’m YOURS at the end of the day (i wanna be the one who holds you when you sleep). Together, we’re magic so just be with me so happily

H-Something Great: ****this song is very straightforward so i won’t explain it much***** (i want you here with me like how i pictured it so i dont have to keep imagining... We’re better off together here tonight). Written as a longing for what could be if they dont have to suppress the relationship. (script was written...want to rip it all to shreds) Louis’ response (you’re all I want so much it’s hurting) basically says “it’s not too much to ask babe, i want it too.” This has the kind of longing that ‘wouldn’t it be nice- beach boys’ which Harry has admitted is kind of a theme song. 

L-Through the Dark: I know all this bs we’re going through is taking a toll on you and hurts you and i hate seeing you upset (you tell me that your sad...you tell me that you’re hurt and youre in pain and i can see your head is held in shame...i just wanna see you smile again) but I will do everything physically possible to protect you from any pain bb (i’d never let you fall and break your heart, if u wanna cry or fall apart, i’ll be there to hold ya). We’re going through this together and I will take on any responsibility needed to keep you happy.  I’M WILLING TO GO THROUGH HELL TO FIGHT FOR US HARRY LOVE (entire chorus basically).

L-Better than Words: holy fuck our love is amazing can’t even describe it can i just sing to you foreva love u babycakes

L-Why don’t we go there: what if...we just forgot about the world and escaped and enjoyed each others love and rode the high??? Also sex

2014

L-Ready to Run: *******Followup to Why Don’t We Go There*********** But this time let’s escape for real bc (there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time). Like i’m ready to get out of here and it could just be us living happily ever after (this time i’m ready to run). Honestly nothing else makes sense (without you i’ll never make it out alive...wherever you are is the place i belong). I know what i want out of life and IT’S YOU HARREH (i want to be free and i wanna be yours, i will never look back). 

L-Steal My Girl: all u thirsty hoes find someone else bc Harry is MY pretty princess. Srsly ask his family. But you can still admire how he looks in those jeans. We all do. You know the ones

L-No Control: boy u fine, let’s do what lovers do IN THE MORNING. bc we can. also you own me and i am urs

L-Clouds: WE KNEW THIS WAS GONNA BE HARD SO WHY ARE YOU BEING A LITTLE BITCH (you dont like it complicated...but love is never ever simple...you are tired of all the changes, but love is always always changing). We could be great yo, just keep fighting (if we’re never coming back down, we’ll looking down on the clouds...we go and we go and we dont stop)

H-Where do Broken Hearts Go: IM SORRY LOU BABY YOURE EVERYTHING (rest of my crimes dont come close the look on your face when i let you go... the taste of your lips...is at the top of the list of things i want). H&L’s call and  response at the end is basically forgiveness and acknowledgment (come on baby come and get me out, come on baby cuz i need you now)

H-Two Ghosts: *****was written around this time according to Harry******. This is fucking hard yo. We’re drained and exhausted and idk how much more we can fight for this... (it’s not you and it’s not me...sounds like something that i used to feel). That infatuation and electricity and hope that fueled our younger selves isn’t really there anymore and i’m just tired man (we’re just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty, trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat, we’re not who we used to be...this was all we used to need). We’re empty vessels going through the motions (same eyes blue, couple more tattoos). AND WE AREN’T FUCKING COMMUNICATING (we dont say what we really mean). 

2015

H&L-Perfect: so what if... we get rid of the pressure of forever? What if we just have fun doing the stupid shit we love and makes us feel alive (trouble up in hotel rooms, secret little rendezvous, things you know that we shouldn’t do). Like we won’t be out of each others’ lives, I’m still around and we can find comfort in each other and even mess around here and there (I can be the one you love from time to time). Remember how we used to be young and EXCITED (when i first saw you from across the room, i could tell that you were curious) let’s get that energy back without the responsiblity of an adult relationship. And we can keep making art lmao (if youre looking for someone to write your breakup songs about). 

L-Long Way Down *****this song fkn hurts man. It’s overlooked a lot but shows so much insight**** We were...everything. And maybe that’s the problem? We’ve been through so fucking much, more than anyone our age should have to endure. (We've been in fire, Went down in the flames. We sailed the ocean And drowned in the waves. Built a cathedral But we never prayed) We didn’t know what we had. We were damn kids man. We weren’t prepared for all this. We didn’t know how powerful this would be. We didn’t know what it required of us. (We had a mountain But took it for granted. We had it all yeah. Who could’ve planned it). We didn’t know what to do with it, how to deal with it, so here we are. (We had a spaceship But we couldn't land it) We’re each other’s everything, but we can’t keep going on like this babe. (We found an island But we got stranded). I don’t want to leave you but being together is breaking us down. (Point of no return and now It's just too late to turn around) We thought we were untouchable. That love conquers all. Maybe, we were wrong. This is gonna hurt like a bitch (We built it up so high and now I'm fallin', it’s a long way down)

H-Olivia: I LIVE FOR YOU, I LONG FOR YOU, I LOVE YA. And i think i’ll always love ya. And I’m scared...of life without you (i get the feeling you’re walking out, time is irrelevant when i’ve not been seeing you, the consequences are falling now, there’s something i’m having nightmares about...dont let me go). But maybe just maybe thats okay, because you’re AIMH (you live in my imagination...i love you, it’s all i do). 

L-Love you Goodbye: I fucking love you and I’ll always fucking love you but i think this is the right thing to do even though it feels so wrong (i know there’s nothing i can do to change it, but is there something that can be negotiated?) We made some goddamn fireworks together though (unforgettable together held the whole world in our hands) and do ya maybe think...we can make them just once more? (if tomorrow you wont be mine, let me give it to you one last time, baby let me love you goodbye...one more taste of your lips just to bring me back to the places we’ve been and the nights we’ve had because if this is it, then at least we could end it riiiiight). ********in the interview with our FAVE Gwen Garcia, she asked if it’s better to say goodbye and end a relationship that’s not feeling right or keep trying even if your heart’s not in it. Harry responds with “I think it’s better to say goodbye...but sometimes if youre trying to protect..” Then Louis cuts him off and says “you’re going deep aren’t you”, brushing the question off as a joke but imho i think there was pain in that answer. Then Harry continues “if you’re not 100% in it, I think it’s better for both parties if you say goodbye”. And Louis adds a “yeah” at the end.********

H-Walking in the Wind: I know this is scary but i think we can do it, (you said to me do you believe i’ll be too far? if youre lost just look for me you’ll find me) I think because youre AIMH and i’m always in yours, it’ll be good for us. And look at us being mature, we’re killing it babe. We can live our separate lives and grow on our own. We dont need to make it messy and hurtful. We’re on the same page. (the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won. A necessity for apologies between you and me, baby there is none). At this point, we’re kinda part of each other right? So it’s healthy for us to be apart for a bit. (it’s not the end, i’ll see your face again... i know we’ll be alright...just close your eyes and see i’ll be by your side any time you need me). And you’ve helped me grow into the person I am, and I you, so that’s cool as hell, right? (you will find me in places that we’ve never been). We had a TON of fun (we had some good times didnt we) so i feel okay that we’re doing this (goodbyes are bittersweet) and starting the next adventure in our lives. 

H-If I could fly: I. am. yours. Louis. William. Tomlinson. (for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart). Maybe this growth thing isn’t worth it, let me prove to you how much you mean to me (i think i might give up everything just ask me to). This is gonna be hard as shit because i’m so dependent on you (i’m missing half of me when we’re apart). I’m being honest and I’m being scared and I’m being vulnerable because I can’t lie to you and pretend I’m strong (i let my guard down, right now i’m completely defenseless). But we’re part of each other, right? (i could feel your heart inside of mine). I’ll always be here for you Lou (for when you’re lonely and forget who you are) even if for now we can’t physically be together. 

L-Home: I’ve tried, Harry. I’ve tried to play pretend (told myself i kind of like her but there was something missin in her eyes). But i was lost (i was stumblin, lookin in the dark with an empty heart) because none of it was enough, none of it was YOU (it was there i sawr it in your eyes). And then i met you and you felt the same and we’re both lost souls playing pretend who found magic in each other (but you say you feel the same, could we ever be enough?) Is our love enough to overcome everything? Maybe we can be enough. Maybe I can make this enough, let me try to make it enough for you. And if we go our separate ways, know that I’m here for you no matter what. I won’t let you be lost again. (When you’re lost I’ll find a way and I’ll be your light, you will never feel like you’re alone, I’ll make this feel like home). So go. wander. find yourself. Then when you’re ready, come home. 

 2016-2017

H- Sweet Creature: ***Harry admit that this was the first song he wrote for the album**** We aren’t in the best place rn. We’ve been fighting (had another talk about where it’s going wrong...it’s hard when we argue, we’re both stubborn). But it’s you Louis. It can’t be anyone else. (don’t know where we’re going but we know where we belong... wherever I go, you bring me home). That’s not even a question. I’m still trying to figure out who I am, but the one thing I know is that a large part of who I am is you (we started 2 hearts in one home). And aint no way I’m losing that part of myself (when i run out of road, you bring me home). It was always you. 

H-MMITH: Whenever you’re ready, I’m ready (just let me know i’ll be at the door,  hoping you’ll come around). I know I need to work on myself a little more (i gotta get better, and maybe we’ll work it out) but honestly i’m getting impatient and i want things to go back to how they were and i want to be yours again (once you go without it, nothing else would do). But I can’t communicate this to you clearly so let me just put this in a song and hope you get it (we dont talk about it, it’s something we dont do) ****Harry mentioned in an interview that he expresses himself through songwriting when he can’t say the words directly to a person because it’s easier to just write it in a song than have difficult conversations*****

H-ESNY: ****honestly no idea what this song is about but it’s something to do with them fighting and not communicating and being in a weird place before their relationship is rekindled******* edit: this could be about his stepdad

H-FTDT: I MISS YOU AND I’M TOO FULL OF PRIDE TO TELL YOU DIRECTLY JUST COME BACK INTO LIFE LOU I’M LONELY AND SAD AND EMPTY AND IM NOT FUCKING FINDING MYSELF LIKE YOU SAID I WOULD (woke up alone, played with myself where were you...we havent spoke since you went away, why wont you ever say what you wanna say) So until then I sit and wait for your sorry ass to make the first move (maybe one day you’ll call me and tell me that you’re sorry too...but you never do). Also like i have to hear from other people how you are?? (i saw your friend that you know from work, he said that you feel just fine) ANd you’re sharing OUR clothes with people?? wtf just swallow your pride and call me 

L-Miss You: OKAY BUT I CANT JUST CALL YOU BECAUSE I HAVE PRIDE TOO also my mates are trying to make me get over you (now i’m asking my friends how to say I’m sorry, they say lad give it ttime there’s no need to worry, and we can’t even be on the phone now). So i’m just numbing your absence with partying and drinks but CLEARLY ITS NOT WORKING (should be laughing but there’s something wrong...shit maybe i miss you...when i feel it coming up i just throw it all away, get another few shots cuz it doesn’t matter anyway...such a good time, i’ll believe it this time). This is weird bc like you were my everything but im trying to get used to this and it fucking sux (oh how shit changes, we were in love, now we’re strangers). And tbh, its scary af bc what if this is it (i’m asking myself, is it over?). BUT ALSO LIKE WTF U COULD REACH OUT FIRST YA KNOW (i’ve been checking my phone all evening).

H-Anna: wtf Louis how do you not see how much this is killing me. I miss you so much and seeing you on tv or in pics drives me wild bc you’re not mine. (I don’t want your sympathy but you don’t know what you do to me...everytime I see your face there’s only so much I can take...I guess it would be nice if I can touch your body). And idk if you’re replacing me (don’t know where you’re laying, just know it’s not with me) and we’re in SUCH a weird place rn how do I tell u you’re the loml (don’t know what I’d say if I passed you on the street...don’t know what I’d tell you if you asked me for the truth) so I refuse to put this song on the album and let you know this and give you satisfaction from knowing how gone I still am for you bc I have 0 idea how you feel (hope you never see this and know that it’s for you)

L-Always You: SO THIS IS ME SWALLOWING MY PRIDE STANDING IN FRONT OF YOU SAYING IM SORRY FOR THAT NIGHT... ok but fr i miss u i miss u i miss u i miss u and nothing else compares like i can travel the whole world and all i think about is how much more fun it was with you and the memories we shared and i wish i could just say thx fr th mmrs and move on but actually no thx actually fuck you for making me not able to enjoy my life without you. So like...come home? and wrap your legs around me? also lmao i took El to a gay bar in amsterdam for her bday lmao i miss u come cuddle me and i’ll tell you all about it

L-We Made It: looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby. They saidd I bett they’ll never make it, but just look at us holding onn, we’re still togetherr, still going stronggg. Also to the fans, miss our single bed and the nights we talked about our dreams :-* also Andrew my man luv u

2018-2019

L-KMM: our love was youthful and exhilarating and fucking electric and i think it still can be. dont know what i’d do without you now H 

L-DLIBYH: We’re strong babe and we’ve grown and we aren’t gonna let life drag us down. I’m doing better, you’re doing better, this is what we wanted. And now any shit we go through, we’ll go through TOGETHER 

L-Too Young: Okay but looking back, that was a lot of shit we went through and we were just babies and i’m sorry for not fighting harder (i cant believe i gave in to the pressure when they said a love like this would never last so i cut you off cuz i didnt know no better) baby i tried, i tried to protect you but like it was just so much and i hate that you got hurt and i wont ever let that happen again. ALso go us for being mature and COMMUNICATING (face to face at the kitchen table, we can finally have a conversation that I wish we could’ve had before). ANd i know you’re an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry so here let ME say i’m sorry that i hurt you darling. Like we were too young to know we had everything BUT now we’re old(er) and can realize that when we’re together, we DO have everything now and omg is this our happily ever after and we can have a daughter and name her Darcy 

L-Habit: do i need to spell it out for you iiiiii aaaaaaaaammmmmmm sssssssoooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyy. But tbh i let you go because it felt right because mentally you were already out the door and i needed to give you room to grow babe. And i needed the space too (you gave me the time and the space i was out of control and i’m sorry i let you down). but like also i’ve learned i can’t escape you Styles. You’re always in my fucking heart and my fucking mind and in every essence of my being and somehow I knew that 9 years ago and it took me this long to realize how powerful this really is (guess that that i know what i already knew, i was better with you and i miss you now). Ooooh also my favorite line i wrote (took some time cuz i ran out of energy of playing someone I heard I’m supposed to be and honestly i dont have to choose anymore) like who am i kidding, im done pretending i just wanna be yoursss now

L-Defenseless: I can’t help it okay theres something about you that doesn’t let me stay away. I need you and I know that rekindling this relationship isn’t going to be easy even though it feels so so right. It’s going to be hard work (sleeping on our problems but we’ll solved them in our dreams, wake up early morning and it’s still under the sheets) and we need to communicate and solve our problems but here I am, raw and unfiltered and emotionally naked in front of you ready to lay it all on the table (not sure how to say this right, got so much to lose. NEver been so defenseless). So like this branch I’m reach out to you and you be honest with me too babe (you dont have to keep on being strong for me and you. Acting like you feel no pain, you know i know you do...I can’t get inside, when you’re lost in your pride but you don’t have a thing to prove). Be open with me. Lets talk. Let’s solve problems. Lets have an adult relationship. I’m asking for a little vulnerabiltiy babe. It’s just me. Theres nothing to be scared of

L-Walls: And here you have me in my purest form. No lies, no secrets, no insecurities to hide behind. Losing you was fucking painful but i got through it. I’ve been through hell and back and I’ve fought. And without you, I grew into the person I am. And any further growing i’m doing is gonna be with you. bc it was all for you babe. and honestly i can take anything life throws at me now. I’m strong baby. I’m fucking strong and fucking brave and fucking resilient and...fucking yours. ***** wtf is the I just hope i see you one day and you’ll say to me oh oh********

H-Golden: You are the literal sun and I’m not ready. YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD PERSON (you were way too bright for me, i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky). I’m scared to go through this alone, I need your comfort and your guidance (i can feel you take control of who i am and all i’ve ever known). But you’re scared to go through this with me bc you dont wanna get hurt and i’m too open so where tf does that leave us. ******this could be about coming out especially with the London AND NY secret shows where Harry added the lyric I’m hoping someday you’ll open*******

H-Adore You: You dont have to say you love me, you dont have to say nothing, you dont have to say you’re mine. I’d walk through fire for you. Just let me adore Lou. Like its the only thing I’ll ever do. read: Louis is a great person to just admire what he’s like. ALso I dont need anything back. I just dont want to hide my love for you anymore. I don’t need answers or promises. Just let me adore you. ********the music video is also basically a Louis appreciation post. He was the boy with the smile that the world took away from him. He found Harry lost and loved him and nurtured him and made him confident and allowed him to be who he wanted to be. But in doing so, Harry became big and unsatisfied and wanted to explore the world and was clearly interested in Hollywood and Rockstardom especially evident in his behavior 2014-2015. And Louis wasn’t about that life and didn’t want to hold him back. So he let him free. But they realized that they don’t work apart. Wherever they’re going, they’re going together, as the boy sails into the unknown following the fish. I see it as Harry’s version of “this one is a thank you for what you did for me” ************* I see it, I appreciate it, and I love you for it

H-Lights Up: ****fight with Louis. (What do you mean I’m sorry by the way) About coming out? About fame? (Step into the light, so bright sometimes) Either way, L is the guy driving the motorcycle in the video who makes H feel comfortable and safe until they get pulled over because SOMEONE wont let them love*******

H-Falling: What if i’m out, what if i’m someone you won’t talk about? Okay maybe I lied I do want you to claim me. Would me coming out of the closet make that hard for you? I CAN’T GO THROUGH AN IDENTITY CRISIS WITHOUT YOU LOU. I picked someone supportive and now I’m spoiled and I dont know how to be with myself. You want back in my life but what if I dont deserve it? (you said you cared and you missed me too...what i’m someone i dont want around). What if you’re better off without me? (i get the feeling that you’ll never need me again). I know youve been through so much shit because of me, things you’ve never even told me about and im afraid...that I wasn’t worth it. Am I being selfish? because either way, i want YOU (what if you’re someone i just want around). Does that make me a bad person? 

H-TBSL: ****Probably when they starting talking again but it was v casual and they didn’t really discuss their relationship yet*****. I MISS U BUT I WONT TELL U THAT and its nice to talk to u again i missed your voice but if u call me baby i will kill u bc that word has weight OKAY. Like i know you just call everyone babe and darling and sweetheart but baby is FOR ME and only for me when you wake up with me and cuddle me and if you think you have any right calling me baby without giving the luxury of being in a relationship with you then piss off because that shit hurts dude. (i know that you’re trying to be friends, know that you mean it...it’s hard for me to go home to be so lonely). ALso it’s not my fault i’m like this, you literally captured my heart when i was 16 like wtf do u expect (dont blame me for falling, i was just a little boy)

H-Sunflower Vol. 6: we were babies and i was so enamored by you and you’re so bright and beautiful and i want to watch you all day and make you smile and i want you to touch my hair and call me curly and i hope im not making you uncomfortable with my heart eyes but like how are you so perfect. I hope you think i’m cool, i’m really trying but like you’re SO FUNNY and charming and everyone loves you i hope im not embarassing myself. And now it’s like 8 years later and i think i can have you again and i want you so bad but i dont wanna seem too eager and im trying to have dignity and not text you first but like also i want nothing more than to talk to you. Do you think i’m cool now? did you like my new hairstyle? Do you think i’m funny on tour? I want everything i want to be domestic again and kiss in the kitchen and i want to cook for you and as;ldfa;sdhaf i want to buy you flowers everyday and shower ur cute face with kiss. boopx28 

H-Canyon Moon: Hell yea i got ma man back and i have a girlfriend named Jennifer ;) and we are domestic and even though I HATE being away from him for work (so hard to leave it) we have the 2 week rule yall then i can wrap my legs around him and after so so so long I’ll be h.o.m.e. Also did i tell you his eyes are so so blue like sky who i dont know her

H-TPWK: So we’re really doing this. We don’t need to have it all figured out. We can just be us. and happy. and dance. The world loves us babe. (Giving second chances, I don’t need all the answers and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong)

H-Fine Line: You’ve got my devotion but man I can hate you sometimes....We’ll be a fine line. Between what? love and hate? public and private? out and in the closet? each others’ and ourselves? Idk. But i’m going to swallow my pride (my hands at risk I fold) because no matter what, the worst possible outcome is not having you. And I never wanna go through that again. I know we have work to do on our relationship (spreading you open is the only way I know you). And there’s lot of unknown here (there’s things that we’ll never know) but what i do know is that i cant resist you (you sunshine you temptress) and i cant be without you ever again. I think it’ll be hard as hell. But when have we known love as anything but hard? And when have we known our love as anything but worth it? We’ll be a fine line baby. But i know, i knowww with every part of me that we’ll be alright. Because these past 10 years, we’ve been through A LOT. ANd it could have ruined us and made us cynical and cold and closed off. And I think at one point it did. But you know what we did? We fought it. We fought it together. Then we fought it individually. And we became BRAVE. And a brilliant man once said, “love is only for the brave”.