#or bi or what have you they just like some women
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Look, here's the thing, and the last thing I'll say on it:
Pearl was never confirmed to be a lesbian. Not once.
"but she was repulsed by-"
Greg Universe (who she actively disliked at the time) and Bill Dewey.
These are the only two men we see her react to.
Greg Universe and Bill Dewey.
The only women we see her openly attracted to are Rose Quartz and a woman who looks very much like her.
I get it. People think I don't, but I do. It's easy to assume things are canon because we don't have all the information. And it's hard to see contradictions to what we thought was our comfort canon. But we all have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and remind ourselves that we can still have these headcanons, they can still be comforting. Rebecca was a closeted bisexual for a lot of the show's run. She very much related to Pearl. It's likely Pearl was always bi and we just didn't see it. And that's not the end of the world.
We still have the lesbian wedding. We still have Garnet, Rhodonite, Lemon Jade, Bismuth. Blue and Yellow. Pink Pearl, Yelp and Blip. The heaven and earth beetles. Spinel! I know how you guys love Spinel. THERE WAS A LESBIAN WEDDING ON SCREEN THAT WAS A HUGE PART OF THE PLOT. The lesbians are not starved because Pearl might be attracted to a man.
CAN PEOPLE BE DISAPPOINTED? Yes! Absolutely! But people also need to stop acting like Rebecca Sugar personally strangled their pet to death. She drew some art of her own characters that didn't even make it into the show. You can still look at the show and say 'Okay, she's still portrayed in a way that I believe is lesbian in the show'. You can still hold onto that. It's okay.
We just need to stop attacking the opposite sides of this. It's okay that she might be bisexual, it's okay that people prefer her as a lesbian and might be disappointed. It's NOT okay to start up with "your side is completely homo/biphobic". It's toxic and it needs to stop. We do not need to go to war over sketches someone made of their OCS.
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So I finished Birds of Prey (1996 - 2009).
Highs:
known unrepentant homophobe Chuck Dixon accidentally wrote a pretty incredible bi sapphic story during his tenure on Birds of Prey, although much of the queering does come from the artists working on the books. We all know the “call me Barbara” moment – apparently, after the audience reaction to that, Dixon started leaving notes for artists like “be careful and make sure the audience doesn’t misinterpret this scene” lol.
imo, the realization of Helena Bertinelli’s arc happens in the Birds of Prey. She is finally removed from an environment where she needs and is actively craving Batman’s approval, and she ends up thriving, infiltrating the mob and earning the “good work” from Bruce. Personally, I would’ve preferred if her character moved completely away from Bruce’s opinions of her, and it kind of does, but Gail SImone does close that arc off by giving it to her.
Gail Simone uses the series as a who’s who of women in DC, showcasing a number of minor and often underrated women, from returning classic characters like Ice to giving Zinda Blake / Lady Blackhawk a second chance at comics relevance (Lady Blackhawk’s best story in the Birds of Prey, imo, happens under Tony Bedard, concluding the character’s arc from her 1950s roots).
Infinity, introduced very late in Bedard’s time on the team, is a severely underrated nonstarter superhero and it is criminal she never went anywhere. Weird ambiguously Australian ghost girl? Hello??
Barbara as a character who learns to accept her disability. A lot of people, including Dixon and Simone, tend to point out that Barbara learns to be a superhero in spite of her disability, but that’s not the interesting part imo. I think the more interesting story here is that they almost accidentally cobbled together a very genuine character arc of Barbara initially being insecure and doubtful that she’ll be perceived as an equal, as romantically desirable, as a real leader in the superhero world, all this stuff, due to the chair. What we end up seeing is her growth into someone who realizes she’s accepted within the bubble of people who are relevant to her, and that the bigotry of people who aren’t can be made irrelevant simply by building one’s life without them. Her disability isn’t written as saccharine inspiration porn (I think it actually veers too far in the other direction at times; at its worst, it’s a point of grimdark melodrama lol) and it isn’t something she “overcomes” in the classic superhero sense of getting a magical wheelchair or psychic powers, and imo in the superhero genre that’s rare and valuable. The execution isn’t perfect but for me it’s very close.
Lows:
Chuck Dixon makes Barbara and Power Girl do an accidental war crime lmao. dw, both DC editorial and the fanbase ignore this and the less said about it the better.
Dixon really likes James Bond, Indiana Jones (surprising because Indie keeps beating up his friends) and other travel-adventure stories, so throughout his run Black Canary keeps ending up in exotic locations… and judging the people there, before doing some insane “World Policing.” The racism is uhhhhhhh
Simone ties the Birds into the wider DC universe and it does, frustratingly, hit a point where you need to be either really up-to-date with other books or cracking open google to know who a lot of characters even are. This is kind of just how DC works in the mid-2000s, frustratingly. She’s also forced to work with a lot of off-screen deaths, like Ted Kord’s death should be an enormous thing for Barbara, but we have deadlines to keep and we can’t be certain people have been keeping up with Jaime Reyes, so gogogogo
Misfit and Black Alice. They never worked for me. I hate Misfit’s whole archetype of zany comics fan who acquires powers. Making her Jason Todd-adjacent by giving her the sad homeless backstory did not sell me on her and felt like a cheap attempt to make a nonstarter character function. Black Alice’s whole thing devolves into a “stay on your meds, emo kids” PSA. Just very clumsy 30-somethings-writing-teens material.
the last arc, set in DC Silicon Valley, kind of sucks. The Calculator isn’t an interesting villain to me. The chemistry between characters after Dinah leaves never feels right.
it all ends with Barbara believing she's lost her edge, writing a signed note, peacing out, and dumping her adopted homeless kid friend on Helena after getting her ass kicked by the Joker. The last page: Ganthet lamenting that she's in a wheelchair, "to be continued in Oracle: The Cure." oy.
#dc comics#birds of prey#barbara gordon#oracle dc#batman#batfam#helena bertinelli#huntress#dinah lance#black canary#batgirl#gail simone#chuck dixon
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i will always shout praises of bi4bi but given recent discourse I feel the need to say that I love bi4het too! I just love bisexuality in general in its many forms, and anyone who only likes it when it's 'queer enough' for them is biphobic. Bisexuals should be able to bring their LaMe CiShEt BoYfRiEnD to pride without being made to feel like spectators and outsiders to their own event.
#3 am queer discourse take <3#anyways hot take number two. cishets do belong at pride. everyone who wants to celebrate queerness should be welcomed at pride#if a completely cishet business major fratboy wants to come to pride and vibe with us then he should be welcomed!#not even like. oh he has a queer sibling. no. if he's just a cishet dude who wants to spend his saturday at a parade then hell yeah#like completely ignoring that you have no way to tell he's definitively those things. it shouldn't matter regardless imo#pride is not a secretive club you need to be let into. it's a feeling and a celebration and a statement and a state of being#and whatever you want it to be#burying my other related hot take under the tags readmore ksdjksdjksdj#idk. i'm just tired of a lot of the things people seem to think about bisexuality's validity relating to bi women specifically#this is frustration with the gatekeepy and straight-passing discourse of it all#I'm tired of people being expected to act and to preform and to BE queer enough for others' opinions.#am I still welcome if I haven't been with a woman in a few years? if I dress boring? if I like m/f? if I don't listen to chappell roan?#joking on that last one but like. idk. never straight enough for the straights but never gay enough for the gays#constantly some mercurial in-between that offers no comfortable easy group to put us in.#what do i have to do to not be judged as a filthy hettie? are my doc martens enough for you yet?#like oh sorry let me cuff my jeans and have a bob and wear a button up over a cami and wear etsy earrings. am I visually bi enough yet?#let me apologize for the cardinal sin of liking men too. let me wash my hands of any time a cishet man has held them.#if it was a bisexual man then just hand sanitizer is fine right? where do you draw the line on my queerness?#let me preform for you in a way that makes me queer enough.#anyways. sarcasm aside. I think I've made my distaste for this whole affair evident#if you don't want cishets at pride then what happens to those you incorrectly deem as cishet? do I need to prove myself to you?#am I passing as straight? am I passing as gay? am I enough for onlookers?#is it not enough to just show up at pride and celebrate? anyone and everyone who wants to?
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Of my 2% capacity to be attracted to anyone, my type is like 90% women, 5% pretty men and 5% men you would swear are super fucking manly, and never questioned being straight and cis, but are now suddenly *stressed* that they can't figure out why their attraction to me [fully socially interpreted as a woman and labelled that way up until relatively recently] feels incredibly fucking gay
#you are a straight man correct? Yes. Attracted to someone you view as a woman correct? Yes... But you are afraid that makes you gay?#Afraid is a strong word but also stop asking stupid questions#The end result is I tend to date a lot of men who either then realize they are women or bi or gay and I am there when they are taking out#the messiest parts of that on whoever they are with at the time#and on one hand it means I created a space that made them feel safe enough to self examine#but on the other hand I'm their last stop when the fallout hits#OR they just realize they find the expectations put on them for masculinity to be really oppressive even negligent or abusive#I would say I need to adjust my strategy and stop trying to 'woo' men the same way I don't actually -flirt- with women#but I have already solved this problem by refusing to date ever again#The retrospective is funny though#The problem is I am attracted to men in a gay way and to women in a gay way but no one tells you the consequence of that and looking#like a pretty butch is that it really confuses the straight guys#Like why is this guy who's usually hmmm... as dom and masc as you would imagine suddenly in my lap and red and having entire feelings#about the way I am holding his hip? He doesn't knoww either and he's really pressed about it#And that thing messy lesbians do where they act jealous of you and also like they want to fuck you at the same time that looks like a red#flag from hell? Imagine dragging that out of unsuspecting straight guys -menTM-#They don't know why they are acting like that around me either but it's going to go one of two ways#either it will seem overtly threatening and aggressive to everyone involved including themselves or they'll have enough social sense#and tact to be playful about it but still not be sure if they are flirting or whether they like me at all#I have patience for one of those and unfortunately[?] it's the guy who's in my lap looks like he's being tortured and can't find his footin#not the guy telling me how much he's going to beat my ass at some game and I am going to like it or some macho bullshit#And I will be oblivious for the first 50% of it#because if there are gods they are cruel#He never realized he's actually the little spoon be nice and give him a minute#He can't tell me he likes me if he doesn't know he likes me but I opened a jar for him and asked him about his feelings and now he's warm#I actually ended up never dating many women at all because of weird lesbian mixed signals and things#At least not while they were women#I don't flirt or make friends I just decide that people are mine and start taking care of them [while respecting their autonomy and shit]#and I am starting to think this is how I make problems for myself#yes I am playing 5-d chess with gender and am now a he/they but it is not what it is cracked up to be
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*grits teeth*
i do not want to discourse here or anywhere anymore but it does kind of affect me as a transmasc bi person when i see shit that indirectly misgenders me and implies that bisexuality is an icky no good word and identity and you have to be bi and gay and bi and lesbian and bi and straight at the same time or support them or you're an evil stinky stinky terf like... hello where am, i
#it makes me feel othered by an otherwise inclusive community bc how dare i think that men aren't involved in lesbianism#or how dare i think that bisexuality is a whole and valid sexuality#or how dare i think that any and all nonbinary genders are included in every single sexuality by default#or that trans women are women so no fuckin g duh theyre included in lesbianism and if your knee jerk reaction to seeing:#men cannot be lesbians is to think of trans women then you are the transphobe here#or how i dare think that trans man and transmasc aren't the exact same thing#that genderqueerdyke person is also a transadrophobia geek and theyre buddies with genderkoolaid#which like. do i HAVE to say it?#IF U IGNORE THE TRANSMISOGYNY (WHICH U SHOUDLNT) THEYRE ALSO A ZIONIST HELLOW?? WHATS NOT CLICKING WHATS NOT CLICKING#OK IM KINDA MAD ABT THAT LIKE... SORRY BUT HOW ABOUT WE DONT PLATFORM IDIOTS NO MATTER HOW GOOD THEIR RHETORIC MIGHT SOUND#BC U WANT TO BE TOTALLY INCLUSIVE AND NOT GATEKEEPY#ive BEEN around the fucking block ive BEEN on tumblr when the resident terfs here coined bi lesbian#if you scrolled back far enough in certain keywords you wouldve seen that shit in the early 2010s being discussed in their circles#to mean lesbians who are attracted to trans women#you cannot reclaim that or recoin it#yes ive done the research too#i looked at every single piece of evidence of that label existing in the past 50~ years#its just bisexual women back when lesbian spaces also included them#plus like may i also fucking ssay that bisexual also used to mean being of two sexes (transsexual/gender and/or intersex?)#this close to fully believing that the pushback against bisexual being it's own whole and valid sexuality is some kind of psy op#i sound schizophrenic well Maybe I Am#i feel like im going to end up deleting this post bc i dont want to argue with people who disagree with me because there is no getting#through to any of you#tbd.
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imagine thinking that trans men are inherently bad or evil or predatory on the basis of gendered privilege and societal power structures. cringe
#transmasc discourse#like the idea that trans men gain male privilege and kick down the ladder to beat on the queer community is astonishingly stupid at best#the idea that transphobia or queerphobia as a whole doesn't affect them because they're Assimilating With The Oppressors is like#man fucking what is up with people yknow#gender essentialism is fucked up and it's the same force that's beaten down on bi ace and transfem people#the fact that this has turned into 'trans rights but only for the women' by some dumb-fuck shitstains is awful#no. trans rights for all.#like let me explain what I mean here: trans men aren't seen as men by transphobes#it's not 'oh you're a fella? crack a cold beer and let's bash some gays'. passing as a man has just as much risk to it as passing as a woman#because a man who will attack a trans woman as someone who is not a woman will most likely attack a trans man he does not see as a man#with the same violence he might level against a cis woman#that's just on the masc side. i can't speak for any violence against trans men by cis women but I can see how cis women discredit trans men#by claiming them as Lost Lesbians and Sisters In Arms who've been lost due to the Trans Agenda#like people shit on bi people because they have 'passing privilege'. but we know that bi people face homophobia#and other issues about their orientation. the idea that trans men get their Boys Will Be Boys card is to focus on a tiny selection#that *potentially* has the power to he a shithead - like a queerphobic asexual person or a malicious bi person#and paint an entire group of diverse people as literally the worst interpretation you can imagine about them#like consider that you have your own issues and/or biases in regards to people you like and want to hang out with#and stop calling entire groups of people invaders and oppressors whose entire goal is to upend the community#and turn the power of queer people against them#i understand how it feels to feel powerless and to have somewhere where you feel supported and safe#but if you're going to see pain and hate in every group who shares your experience but gives you an ick for whatever reason#there's a solid chance that the Righteous Crusade against them is - in fact - your own personal dislike wielding a modicum of power#that essentially functions the same way that hetero- and cis-normative standards and people have rejected you.#it is essentially you becoming the bully. and just like bi and ace and transfem people before I won't stand for it#trans men are my people.
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Y'all gonna hate me for this one, but you can't call it a homoerotic friendship if that woman was never into you. It's called lust, limerence and delusion.
#txt#lgbt#wlw#lgbtqia#there is nothing more dehumanizing than being on the ace spectrum and being on the receiving end of this#words cannot describe how betrayed i felt#like especially considering i had to figure it out for myself#some of them arent even gay or bi they just want someone who IS between their legs like WHAT#i was a relationship with my fiancé and reliving gay rumors about me like why would i ever use someone as a beard#people can't tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction and when you're kind to someone they think you want them#there's a stigma of being bi or pan where people just think your body is a free for all#or that you're really gay and confused when you're with a partner who is your opposite gender#like i always stayed away from dating women after being harmed by them all my life and oooh that was my last straw LMAOOOO#like i hate that people get obsessed with the idea of me#and when i fall from their pedestal they just want to ruin my life because they didnt get sex from me#even worse when they dont like you but they want to BE you like you are not gay#like they dont have an identity in general and are just latching onto mine and using romance as the excuse for access#so sick lmao im venting in the tags#homoerotic friendship my fat ass like a real friend would NEVER
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*sighs in post mildly broke containment again* there's nothing wrong with reading willow as a lesbian, this is a piece of fiction, and the post I made took on a jokey tone for a reason and is ultimately more about underlying bi-erasure on tv than anything else kaybye ✌
#im watching btvs#jeepers creepers but btvs is bringing out the *taking it all very seriously in a very morally high-and-mighty kind of way* crowd#and i dont mean about shit that matters such as discussing racism or misogyny in fandom#just about whether you agree or dislike someone's read of a situation - move on my friend if you dont agree#i mean i could go on a rant about HOW the show portrayed willow-the-now-lesbian#(and while im at it why i hc buffy-the-apparent-heterosexual as bi too but nobody has disputed that part oddly enough)#but that would be an effort im truly not interested in expending on this day and possibly never and has been written before#im mostly just live-blogging and moving on#if im writing anything fanfic-wise it'll be about kendra and that'll be my full fandom contribution#ok but the ONE thing i'll mention is the fight willow has with tara which is one of the rare Ls for tara#where she basically admits that she's afraid this is a phase because willow has loved men/been with oz#and that's just an interesting fight from a meta perspective because the idea that bi women have to *choose a side*#and are consistently questioned and doubted by their lesbian partners#is a core element of biphobia within a gay relationship that many people can attest to#hell it's a big part of bisexual rep that is conscious of itself that at some point there's a plotline where the person is questioned#about their true loyalties and asked to take a side#btvs ofc is NOT conscious of this underlying tension and in fact i would argue is agreeing with tara that this is what needs to happen#for several other reasons as well#but literally people have WRITTEN about this im not saying anything bold and controversial here AND it doesnt take away#from lesbian willow reads to acknowledge the flawed approach of the show to her sexuality like come on#willow rosenberg
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okay people are gonna be mad at me but please
gay people seeing themselves in characters who are bi in canon are not your enemies
we just rarely ever get any representation, okay?
#I have no problem with people shipping their female ocs with astarion I swear#but maybe I just want Karlach and lae'zel and shadowheart to be gay because there are barely ever lesbians in games#besides I have literally not seen a single gay person complain about people shipping women with astarion or men with karlach#only bi people bashing gay people for apparently doing so#besides#making a character who has some stereotypical 'gay' traits and then saying 'but actually#they are not gay!' is not as subversive as you think it is#I get the idea of 'not taking representation away from another group' but like...#there are no straight companions so what's the alternative?
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every year we get all this content from bisexuals in opposite gender relationships about erasure and straight passing discourse in which they will act as if bisexuals are a tiny forgotten minority of the lgbt community and being erased is just as bad as being hatecrimed and always shoehorn in the villainous gatekeeping gays (who I feel like in many cases are just the externalisation of the voice in your head telling you that you're not Queer Enough) and so on. and it's never anything new like no one ever has a new perspective on this issue and everything they collectively have ever said can be summarised in like 3 sentences so... can we move on. I think we all get it now. can we please talk about something else💜💜
#really not helping their case that it's never gay ppl#let alone bi ppl in gay relationships or who have predominately had gay experiences#who would probably be best qualified to actually make that judgement#it's just like. well here's my essentialised assumptions of what those experiences are like#& then I seriously don't get this acting like bisexuals are a minority in lgbt esp as a woman#bi women literally outweigh lesbians like 5:1#like it just isn't true and immediately makes it seem like your takes are not based in reality#but in like the systems you've made up in your head and your assumptions of how things should be.#also depends on like. how sheltered and privileged your experience is so vastly#because like atp in some places you probably feel most oppressed if you're straight because you don't get cool gay clout#and the lack of consequences doesnt really outweigh that#LOL#but that is not the norm
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stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
#personal#SAW A POST. LOST MY MIND#''nothing changed u mistook a man for a butch and were attracted to them so really youre just small minded and should be okay with that#attraction bc clearly you hate yourself <3''#This Is The Lesbophobia We Are Talking About When You Guys Pretend We Cant Have Boundaries#like ohhh ishould just love a man instead <3 i should change my sexuality for you <3 i should just fuck guys huh <3#how fucking dismissive of our experiences. how deeply sick and disgusting of you. i hope ur an adult so i wont feel bad ripping ur hair out#like how dare you! how dare you tell me NOTHING changed. how dare you look me in the eye and tell me that its the same#its not! its not. sorry some people are comfortable with labels that assert boundaries xoxo to you but im a lesbian bc i like women. not bc#i have an aesthetic attraction to a person. if i see a butch i think oh! a butch! a fellow lesbian! and am attracted#turns out to be a guy? oh! not a butch! not a fellow lesbian! nevermind :) and omg i am so normal for that <333#like god. GOD. what a fucking piece of shit to tell lesbians we should just Let ourselves be attracted to men bc we secretly do anyway#top ten reasons i hate associating with ppl who flout no labels like it works for you im glad but you keep shoving that down my throat#and im going to commit vehicular manslaughter#i have boundaries for a reason! i am attracted to women! i dont like men! WHAT IS SO HARD TO GET THROUGH YOUR HEAD#stop TELLING every lesbian theyre secretly bi but theyre repressing and too attached to the label i will FUCKING kill you#ANYWAY. IGNORE ME LMFAO
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No one:
Me whenever I see yet another blog I respect and admire make/reblog a post on how the lesbian/comphet masterdoc is biphobic/inaccurate:
#lesbian#lesbophobia#comphet#lesbian masterdoc#comphet masterdoc#it's like aww c'mon not you too!#but it's like idk what is with people's obsession with trying to invalidate lesbians' experiences and saying that we are biphobic just for#our relation to the patriarchy#and saying that a tool that has helped many lesbians come to terms with our sexualities must secretly be some evil biphobic scheme#to force bisexual women back into the closet/eliminate and invalidate their attraction to men#i promise you that that is not what we're doing#it feels like they're just trying to say that the comphet masterdoc is wrong and that any lesbian who relates to it is really just bi and i#the closet#and as a lesbian who already suffers from comphet/intrusive thoughts about being sexually involved with men posts like these just make my#comphet go through the roof#they make me wonder even more if maybe my intrusive thoughts are my real feelings and i'm just repressing my attraction to men because the#lesbian masterdoc made me realize i was a lesbian and not attracted to men like i previously thought#and in addition they love to say that the creator of the doc came out as bi when it was only one of the editors of the doc#but ofc people just focus on that because they want so badly to prove that the comphet masterdoc doesn't exist and that it's simply#forcing bi girls to have denial#and then they love to say 'it was written by a bunch of teenagers' as if that invalidates it#or as if teenagers' experiences with comphet aren't real or trustworthy or worth listening to as if we are all simply irrational or naive#like atp people should just say the quiet part out loud that they think every lesbian who struggles with comphet is faking it and that we#are secretly bi and just think we're lesbians because we're traumatized by men but that eventually we will realize that we need a man in#fr it's just saddening#it's especially treacherous when other lesbians make posts like these#like come on now are you for real#i thought we were in this together#anyway that's all i'm done ranting lol
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thinking your opinion is the correct and only one and you're better than other people because you know best is the mind killer. Even about dumb shit. Even about big things. People have different lives than you!!!!!!!! Have some open minded empathy!!!!
#if i hvae to see one more straw man argument about a straw man argument about lgbt discourse im gonna throw up#yeah! theres a lot of arguing! everyone has different opinions!#touch some grass#jfc#literally like its so self involved....everyone should just know im better than this shouldnt we criticize the real villain - capitalism?#like yeah...capitalism is bad......but sometimes ppl just wanna complain about gay stupid shit with the group they think are their friends#if youre a lesbian and bi women in heterosexual pairings are trying to say they have similar daily lives as you.....thats something you#sometimes you just gotta complain alittle and move on#its not saying bi women dont belong at pride?? but if youre heterosexually presenting u should know you have privilege?? that isnt bad but#just be aware i guess or dont its your life. everyone has privileges its so stupid to argue if you have certain ones or not depending on li#like who you d hypothetically have sex with#like functionally...i personally think what youre doing on a daily basis has more effect on your life than possibilities.... . .. . .#like trans people are trans every day thats their life they have oppression every day just for existing#if youre bi and straight passing......you fucking dont have the same experience??? LOL
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part of me still feels like i might be sort of genderfluid and/or bisexual but just traumatized about it. no idea anymore
#like. remember that. remember following me back when i was bi and genderfluid lol. awhile ago now#its like whatever to me now. its really hard for me to pin anymore#like when i feel like genderfluid and bi again i feel like i can be a lot more open about shit#but i dont really even know. its hard#i feel like. and this is just like. me yknow. i feel like if i wasnt dating a man i'd be missing out on something that i want#like i dont know if i would be content just marrying a woman and being satisfied if i. didnt have a husband. yknow what i mean#and its like. if *I* wasnt a man i'd be sad. if in a relationship i wasnt someone's boyfriend or husband i'd be sad about it#so this is what wraps back around to me being a gayboy about it yknow#its complicated because no matter the gender label outcome. i would STILL want testosterone and surgery and masculine terms#and i KNOW this doesnt mean anything for some people. like some women do all that and are women#so i could just be not-a-man and still want all this anyways#but i also know it doesnt make it any less complicated for some of these women. who also had to think about themselves a lot in this way#its this weird notion of whatever ends up happening i... physically want the same shit anyways. THAT stays almost completely static#so that for me is a breather. its just like.... idk ... if i ever got in a relationship with a woman#i'd feel like i would be intrinsically. missing out on something i wanted#which i think is what a lot of burgeoning gay kids feel generally. right#like if you went down this stringent path laid out for you that you'd be missing out on. your life that you want. right.#i dont know what i want out of that really. sometimes i feel like im too out of it to pursue anything romantically anymore anyways#i do sometimes think it'd be cool to be a butch woman. kinda..?#i think what i like about that is the masculinity of myself is gender non-confirming if i were a woman#which if im a masc guy i'm just like. your average dude. like. right#but i wanna be a bear about it. i wanna fag it up about it. and my metric of being transgender im not ... average about how i present mysel#can someone teach me how to fag it up. the construction worker part of this is working right#sighhhh.... i have to go shower. maybe i;'ll have a shower epiphany or something. sighhhhh#sometimes in my head being a woman would be alright. but its like.. i dont even know how to decode it#i think some people would call what im feeling being genderfluid. some people might call it something else. it depends on like. you yknow#and what you want. and what makes you smile. me? not quite so sure anymore#and i think its like. this sounds like its laid quite bare right. but its hard to word even.#but sometimes im like. am i just like. talking ...? yknow what i mean.
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I don't know how there are still people out here hoping that Fjord and Jester break up. Idk how you can.. have a character that you supposedly care about but want her to be miserable because she "chose the wrong person." That's so weird and sexist. Also that was such a cute love story I was grinning from ear to ear whenever they had a moment but... Okay... You can hate fun I guess
#critical role#cr discourse#it was SO CUTE#i loved the slow burn#they genuinely loved being around each other#and all the stuff about jester being like oh romance is different than i thought but good#was so realistic and sweet!#all of those people seem to hate fjord too#its like what did he do to you#hes just a guy#he had some of the best moments in the campaign#hes so complex and lovely#hes a delight#also... shes not a lesbian#istg#bi women exist guys#we have lesbian rep in cr2#jester isnt a lesbian tho#the shipwars were so fucking bad
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okay the jokes about bi women with jakey ass boyfriends were funny but I'm gonna need everybody to stop before people start getting too comfortable and start getting really biphobic with it
#like the first couple times were funny but like. I do not like the direction this is going. my bestie has straight up got hate comments#for being a bi girl with a bf like people are saying she has it so easy is basically straight etc like😭#not that biphobia (against bi women specifically) didn't exist before this joke blew up recently but some people think it's a lil Too#funny to call bi women with boyfriends basically straight#as if they're like. what? lying about being bi? faking it for attention like what do you think. they're not actually bi bc they're dating#a man. idk just don't like direction this is going#as a person with the opposite problem (people I'm insisting I'm a lesbian) I kinda get it like it obvs doesn't feel great to have people#doubt your sexuality. especially in the context of them making fun of you#ALL THIS BEING SAID this isn't abt my mutuals and friends who I know are normal and not biphobic AND this is not about not making fun#of jakey boyfriends. obviously i think they should all kill themselves.#carmen.txt
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