thinking about how bad went through all the stages of grief the first few days the eggs were gone, and then ended on revenge, before kidnapping and torturing a worker. how today with tina that’s most of what he talked about - not just getting the eggs back, but how once they’re back he’s still not going to rest until he’s taken revenge on everyone involved. it does not matter who, so long as they had a hand in it, they’re already condemned.
this is something he views as necessary. he doesn’t pretend it isn’t a gruesome, destructive task, he doesn’t pretend like it isn’t scary to those who may witness this. he keeps returning to this one comparison, this common metaphor, in that of forest maintenance. fire is destructive, and terrifying, but controlled burns are healthy, and necessary, to keep the ecosystem of a forested area healthy and thriving. it keeps brush build up down, contributes to a rich top soil. saving the trees by burning the forest, as he said to foolish. as he said to tina.
and there is nothing he would not do to get his children back. a very limited list on those he wouldn’t throw into the flames without question or remorse - and even those on the list are in a hierarchy. he’s made it clear to this limited list of people that there is a lot that is expendable, so long as it gets him closer to reaching his son and daughter. the worker in his basement, while no longer one he sees as needing to take vengeance on, is easily expendable. a lot of members on the island are expendable. so long as he does not love them, and they are not necessary in this task, they are expendable. and in the scheme of things, he himself is expendable. any cost is worth the price, so long as he gets his kids back to safety.
he keeps keeps using this metaphor - burning the forest to save the trees, controlled burning to better the ecosystem. but it’s no secret he’s somewhat delusional, and an unreliable narrator at the best of times. and as meticulous as he is, as cautious and careful as he is, fire is tricky to control, as it is tempting. this is no controlled burn - its scorched earth. and he does not care if he himself is caught in the blaze, so long as everything he wants burned to the ground is reduced to ash and dust.
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I don't know how I'd ever convey this in art but. Thinking very deeply about how in boy king au, a very crucial part of characterization is that Seb is a wolf in sheep(or lamb more specifically)'s clothing and Fernando is a sheep in wolf's clothing.
Seb is very unassuming, very delicate, seemingly very vulnerable and malleable. But, deep down, he can be very ruthless. It's in the the way he hesitantly declares war, with a spark in his eye and a suppressed smirk. In the way he challenges someone to a card game or a horse race, proclaiming that he's not great, but winning every round and prancing around the room and mentioning it ad infinitum. The way he's able to instantly turn the tide in a debate in one fell swoop. By showing all his cards constantly and letting himself be vulnerable, he's making himself invulnerable. No one would ever consider him to be able to make big moves, so he wins every single time, because no one even thinks to expect it from him.
Fernando on the other hand, is constantly committed to having a looming presence and harsh reputation, but deep down, he's soft. He knows what happens to people when they're vulnerable, and he's not going to let himself be taken advantage of. The way he keeps a brave face when being informed of the marriage proposal, but goes back to his room and cries. The way he proclaims that he was always going to be the rightful ruler of Spain, but confides to Flavio that he never thought there was any real chance of it ever happening. The way he takes himself so seriously in public, but inside feels so giddy whenever he can make someone laugh. Everything to him always feels unstable and ready to crumble at any moment, and he's not willing to contribute to that by letting himself relax.
I think thats why it's very difficult for them to get along at first, because they have completely different approaches to how they carry themselves and make their way through life. Seb is confused at Fernando because he feels that he's very bland and overly serious at first, but truthfully he's not really seeing the actual Fernando. And Fernando finds Seb to be naive and easily taken advantage of, but that's because he's never seen Seb at his most cruel. Seb really loves when he eventually gets to see Fernando being vulnerable, and Fernando really admires and respects Seb when he sees him being serious. I think it just takes a while for them to show the other their full and complete selves, even the parts they can sometimes be ashamed of. There's this very compelling dichotomy in Seb laying out all his cards, but still being very difficult to read, and Fernando keeping his cards to his chest, but his intentions often being easily seen through.
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